I'll have you for breakfast!
My Wii Pony: Oranges are Annoying
DISCLAIMER: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, the Annoying Orange and Veggie Tales are © their respective owners. This is merely a fan fiction parody.
"Good morning, Applejack," Twilight Sparkle said, smiling at the earth pony as she trotted through Ponyville.
"Well howdy do, Twilight!" Applejack cheerfully greeted her unicorn friend, "You sure are out an' about mighty early. How 'bout some apples fer breakfast?"
Twilight shook her head. "Oh, no thank you. Not that your apples aren't delicious. I just... think I could use a change of fruit this morning."
Applejack raised an eyebrow. "A change ah fruit? Are mah apples not good enough for ya no more?"
"No!" Twilight lurched back defensively, "It's just that I've had apples for breakfast every day for the past two weeks!"
Applejack nodded. "Ah see. Y'all need to get the taste ah apples out fer a bit so y'all can enjoy 'em again later, right Twi?"
"That's right," Twilight said, "I'm not giving up on apples permanently. Don't think I ever could. I just need a break, that's all."
Applejack gave a sly grin. "Well if that's all it is, y'all should head down into mah food cellar back home. Ah got some other fruits down there that y'all can help yerself to."
"Why thank you, Applejack," Twilight said with a smile and trotted off towards Sweet Apple Acres.
Oh, don't thank me yet, Applejack thought with a devilish smirk, Just you wait, Twilight. Y'all'll be begging me fer some apples soon enough. She started to chuckle, and then broke into all-out maniacal laughter in front of a strike of lightning as Derpy bounced on a thunder cloud above her.
Twilight magicked open the door to Applejack's food cellar. Looking around, she spotted where the fruits were stored, and noticed an orange and a pear sitting on a barrel. "Ooh, those look delicious!" She trotted over to the fruits, opened her mouth as she leaned down to them, and heard a pair of voices screaming bloody murder.
Rearing up, she looked around for the source of the scream. "Who's there?"
"You mean who's not there!" one voice said, "And it was almost us!"
Twilight swiveled her ear as the voice replied to her, and then found its source. To her horror, she saw that the orange and the pear had faces.
"W-what are you?" Twilight gasped.
"Hi! I'm Orange! He's Pear!" the orange said.
"Hey," the pear said.
Twilight's eye twitched. "Wait a second. Fruit can't talk. That's not scientifically possible! You're not scientifically possible!" She pointed her hoof at the fruits accusingly.
"So says the magic talking unicorn! Nya ha ha ha ha ha ha!" Orange cackled.
"I'm no less normal than you are!" Twilight retorted.
"I see your point," Orange grinned at her horn and laughed again.
Twilight raised an eyebrow. "This is getting weird. How are you guys even here."
"Cuz it's my birthday wish!" Orange said, "I wanted my Wii pony, but instead I got a wee pony!"
"I'm not a wee pony, I'm a little pony!"
"Boy, she sounds just like Little Apple," Pear said.
"You mean Midget Apple?" Orange laughed again.
"So who are you, anyway?" Pear asked with a straight face.
Twilight put a hoof to her chest. "My name is Twilight Sparkle."
"Ooh, do you like vampires?" Orange asked.
"What? Why?"
"Cuz you're Twilight Sparkle!" Orange grinned.
Twilight stared. "I don't get it."
"Hey! Hey Twilight!"
"What?"
"Is your middle name Vampires?"
Twilight shook her head rapidly. "What?!"
Orange's grin widened. "You know. Twilight Vampires Sparkle! Nya ha ha ha ha ha ha!"
"S-stop it!" Twilight snapped, "I don't like vampires! I've never even seen a vampire!"
"Bite me," Orange said, "I bet you're a real sucker. Nya ha ha ha ha!"
Twilight groaned out loud. "Seriously, what is his problem?" she asked Pear.
"Oh, don't mind him," Pear said, "He was dropped on his head when he was born."
"Oh, I s--" She stopped when she realized oranges were born by falling out of trees. She glared at Pear as both fruits started laughing together. "Seriously! What is with you two?!"
Both fruits stopped laughing.
"Whoa, get a grip there, Twi," Pear said.
"She can't! She doesn't have hands!" Orange burst into another fit of laughter.
Twilight seethed, trying to hold her anger in.
"Of course she's still the sharpest unicorn I've ever met," Orange continued, laughing at each pun, "Probably gets into trouble since she's always horny."
"Oh, come on dude, not cool," Pear retorted.
Twilight couldn't hold it in any longer. She rose up into the air, her coat turning white as her mane burst into flames.
"Whoa! She sure is a real hot head!" Orange exclaimed.
"Yeah. Talk about a bad mane day!" Pear replied.
"Hey! Hey Twilight!" Orange said.
"WHAT?!" the flaming unicorn shot back.
"Pokéball."
"What?" Twilight didn't have time to react as a red and white ball smacked into her face and sucked her up, trapping her inside.
"Wow, Orange! You caught a Rapidash!" Pear cheered.
"GET ME OUT OF HERE!" Twilight screamed.
"One. Two. Three." Orange counted the shakes of the ball.
The button made a clicking noise and stopped glowing as the ball managed to lock Twilight inside.
"Yay!" Orange cheered.
The pokéball started to glow brightly, and Twilight burst out of the ball, here eyes glowing white hot for a moment and then the glowing subsided as she powered down her magic.
"That does it!" she shouted, "I came here for fruit, and I'm gonna eat it!" She charged at the fruits with her mouth open wide, the both of them screaming as they stared at the maw of death lunging at them.
Rather than a mouthful of orange and pear, Twilight found the object in her mouth tasted more like cake batter, and then realized it was Pinkie Pie's hoof.
"Twilight!" Pinkie squeaked, "How could you eat fruits as funny as these?"
Twilight spat Pinkie's hoof out. "Funny? You think they're funny?"
Pinkie giggled like a filly. "Well duh! These are the funniest fruits in all of Equestria!"
"Fine!" Twilight snapped, "You take them! I don't even want fruit anymore!" She snorted and turned around, going to the vegetable side and spotting a tomato and a cucumber. "Perfect!"
Just as she was about to take a bite, she stopped and noticed these had faces too.
"Hi!" the tomato said, "I'm Bob the Tomato!"
"And I'm Larry the Cucumber!" said the cucumber.
"And we're here to answer your questions!" Bob said.
Twilight's lip trembled and her eyes got big and teary. She burst into tears and ran out of the cellar.
"Aw, poor Twilight," Pinkie said, "Can't she take a joke?"
"Maybe she just hates to eat and run?" Orange said, making every talking plant in the cellar laugh.
Dear Princess Celestia,
FOR THE LOVE OF HARMONY, EAT YOUR VEGETABLES!
Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle
Celestia put the scroll down and sighed. "She could have warned me about this sooner." Looking on her back, a tiny marshmallow was happily bouncing on her.
"Yay! I have a magic pony princess! Hee hee!"
Luna had a nice long intellectual conversation with Little Apple about being the runt of the litter, then took a bite out of her new friend and shrugged. He was delicious.
Author's Note
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