Conscience

by CoffeeMinion

Rating: everyone
Tags: Derpy Hooves, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Doctor Whooves, Drama, Aria Blaze, Starswirl the Bearded
Length: 3444

The Doctor is determined to save a life, regardless of what it may cost him.

Once, the Doctor traveled time with Star Swirl the Bearded, taking in the wonders of the universe as friends. However, some events are fixed, and Star Swirl had to leave so he could play an essential part in Equestria's history.

When the Doctor learns that Star Swirl faces a crisis of conscience, he will risk everything to be there for his old friend.

Pre-reading and editing by Moosetasm and OnionPie! Cover image stitched-together from here and here and here. Not connected to my other Derpy stories.

Published 2015-10-05 18:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-10-05 18:00:02 UTC

The Siren's Gem

The Doctor held a hoof above his eyes and squinted in the vivid light of sunset. His view of the city below was obscured by smoke from still-burning homes, but here and there he caught glimpses of the battle taking place on its streets. Desperate guardsponies with tall helmets and long spears struggled to hold back a crush of ponies whose green-glowing eyes were full of hatred.

He sighed and turned to his grey-coated companion. The wind whipped at her messy blonde mane, prompting him to raise a hoof and check his own mane’s dark-brown spikes. He smiled and affected a jaunty tilt of his head, hoping he could allay the fear her golden eyes betrayed.

“Well then,” he said, “all we need to do is descend a sheer cliff face, sneak our way through the midst of a civil war, and save somepony’s life.” His lips tightened as he checked his pocket watch. “And we need to do all that in time, no less.”

She looked at him. Or, perhaps near him; her wall-eyed stare made it difficult to tell where she was really looking. "Doc… how are you gonna save one life out there when so many are…” She trailed off with a shiver.

The Doctor absentmindedly touched a hoof to his saddlebag. “Oh, don’t worry; once we find my friend, the rest will work itself out. Trust me!”

Derpy gazed out at the frantic melee. “So who’s this friend ya keep talkin’ about? I know I ain’t the only pony that’s travelled with ya… I’m kinda thinkin’ this might be another?”

The Doctor cleared his throat. Some ponies mistook Derpy’s plain-spoken clumsiness as a sign that she was simple-minded. He preferred to think of her as very focused, though not always on the matter at hoof.

“Look out there,” he said, hoping to redirect her. “What you’re seeing is the Battle of Canterlot, at the conclusion of the Siren Wars. Some ponies called it ‘Equestria’s darkest hour,’ and mind you, Nightmare Moon had been threatening the land with literal darkness just a couple years before.”

A beam of light exploded through the top of the ruined castle at the periphery of the conflict. The blast was powerful enough to dispel the smoke and flash-burn the shadows of guards and insurrectionists alike onto the stones of the cobbled streets.

Derpy looked at him with wide eyes. “What was that?!”

Before he could answer, a wave of intense sound washed over the two of them. They fell to the ground, writhing in aural agony. Derpy covered her ears and squirmed in the vain hope of drowning it out, while the Doctor made a hurried effort to fish something out of his saddlebag.

He raised a thin, blinking cylinder aloft in his hoof. It made a tinny sound that was lost in the palpable cacophony around them… but soon, silence reasserted itself.

“...Got it!” he announced quite loudly, at first oblivious to his success at counteracting the noise. “Sorry.” He gestured at a distant trio of figures floating above the carnage, heading toward the source of the explosion. “Now if I had to guess what that was, I would guess my friend just challenged the puppet-masters to show themselves!”

Derpy struggled to her hooves. “Doc, you know I hate to ask, but this seems more dangerous than usual. Maybe I should just… go back and wait?”

He whitewashed his disappointment with a smile. “Come on, stay a little longer. Things are going to get interesting.”

She stared with horror at the stunned combatants. Some were quicker than others to recover from the explosion. Those back on their hooves—guards and turncoats alike—were setting about the grim business of finishing those who were still prone.

Derpy bit her lip and looked back at him. “I.... I dunno, Doc. What good do ya think I can do out there?”

The Doctor tried to think of something that would sound better than lifting his spirits through a difficult time. “Well, I suppose you could help lower us to the ground on those magnificent wings of yours?”

She looked down at her hooves, frowning. He already knew what she was going to say next. “Well, yeah, but I’ve gotta think about Dinky. Who’s gonna take care of her if…?”

“Nopony else will need to,” he said, rummaging about in his saddlebag. He pulled out the faded, age-worn letter that had started all of this. A few weathered remnants of the royal seal were still visible on the ancient document. “Now, ordinarily I dislike flaunting any foreknowledge about our journeys; time being rather more malleable than most ponies give it credit for, and so on.”

She nodded. “Yeah, I know. You’ve said as much.”

The Doctor smiled. “Well in this case, I will make an exception. I have a very good sense of how this is likely to play-out.” He paused, searching her eyes, trying to gauge how effective his approach was. “So you need not worry! Even if anything should go amiss, I give you my word that we will get you home safe and sound.”

Derpy smiled, rolled her eyes, and turned back toward the ruins below. “Oh, alright; I guess ya always do, in the end.”

The Doctor grinned, though inwardly he felt a stab of guilt.

As usual, she hadn’t noticed he was lying.

The Doctor stole a glance through the pony-sized hole they’d discovered in the side of Celestia’s castle. “Oh-ho,” he whispered, “here we go!” Celestia herself stood at the far side of the ruined chamber, at the end of a long line of red-carpeted steps. The Doctor could only see the outlines of three figures floating in the cavernous darkness above her, but he could hear their hissing voices curse and rail against the Princess.

He looked closer, squinting, wondering if one of the shadows near the side of the chamber hid a pony with a robe and a tall hat.

Derpy fidgeted beside him. “What are the Sirens doin’ in there, Doc?”

He checked again. “Still monologuing. Well, I suppose not technically monologuing, since there are three of them.” He touched a hoof to his chin. “Would that be ‘triloguing?’”

Derpy pressed a hoof against him. “Hey, I think another patrol is comin’...”

The Doctor craned his neck around a broken bit of masonry, trying to get a clear look at the street. He spotted a group of guardsponies heading somewhere at a full gallop.

He sighed. “Oh, come on, Star Swirl.” He glanced at Derpy. She seemed oblivious to the name he’d just mentioned. Thus far he’d managed to avoid saying it.

He pulled out his pocket watch again and muttered, “The only thing worse than being too late is being too early…”

Magic-enhanced shrieks echoed through the alley. The Doctor smiled and stuck his face back through the hole in the wall. The shadow he’d seen earlier was now, indeed, a blue-coated pony in an even darker-blue robe, with a pointy, bell-laden hat, and a long, glowing horn. “Now there’s my boy! Rile those monstrous old girls up good for me, eh?”

Derpy gave him an incredulous look. The effect was more pronounced given her difficulty keeping both eyes pointed more-or-less in the same direction.

The Doctor smiled back at her. “Take a look; this is the good part.”

She brought her head next to his, brushing his cheek. She gave him a brief, awkward smile; he cleared his throat and turned back toward the hole in the castle.

They watched the blue-coated pony hurl himself from the top of a stone plinth, narrowly avoiding a stray burst of energy that obliterated it in a shower of crackling rubble. The pony hit the ruined floor and stumbled, falling to his knees and losing his bell-laden hat. He glanced across a row of broken columns and let his gaze linger on a tall, white figure whose horn glowed like molten sunshine.

“Celestia,” Derpy whispered, watching the Princess split the room’s darkness with a blazing discharge from her horn.

Three lithe figures dodged and weaved above the Princess; one colored deep magenta, the next a fiery yellow, and the last a glistening aquamarine. The front halves of their bodies were vaguely equine, while their rear halves tapered into long aquatic tails that ended in broad flippers. They wreathed themselves in a greenish glow that seemed as effective at repelling fire as returning it.

With a grunt, the blue-coated pony forced himself back up onto all four hooves and charged back toward Celestia.

The Sirens growled, raised their forehooves, and conjured a storm of emerald lightning that consumed the Princess.

The charging pony bellowed his rage, reached out with his magic, and gripped the purple Siren in a glowing lasso of magical force. He braced himself, wrenched the lasso with his horn, and slammed the Siren into the ground.

“Aha!” the Doctor shouted, pointing. “I’ll bet that’s when it happened.”

Derpy looked at him. “I don’t understand.”

“You will.” He rooted around in his saddlebag again. “Let’s see if we can use the sonic to eavesdrop a bit, shall we? Ah yes, here comes the Princess…”

They watched Celestia emerge from the lightning-storm with singed fur and a most uncharacteristic snarl. Her horn flared with magical energy and projected a wave of force that sent the other two unsuspecting Sirens reeling through the air.

The purple Siren groaned and tried to push herself upright. Star Swirl turned and aimed a cruel buck at her head. She recoiled from the impact and spat blood at him.

“Star Swirl, the mirror!” Celestia called.

Star Swirl glanced at a curtained object at one side of the room, but then turned back and studied the fallen Siren with disgust. “Banishment?” He reared up and stomped his prone foe with his forehooves. “What you deserve is…”

Star Swirl was tugged off-balance by a dim tether of sun-yellow magic that led across the room, back to Celestia’s glowing horn. She cast a desperate look at him through a growing corona of sickly green flame. The blaze overtook her, the tether faded, and she gave a wordless shout.

He stomped on the supine Siren one more time. He then turned, reached out with his magic, and threw the curtain off a filigreed, oval-shaped mirror. His horn’s glow intensified, and a whirling vortex of energy formed on the mirror’s surface.

Derpy glanced at the Doctor. “Now what’s he doin’?”

He grinned at her. “Activating the mirror. Well, it’s not actually a mirror, I mean it is, but it is so much more than that! Of course, it only wants to be activated once every thirty moons; but my friend is not the type to let a little restriction like that get in his way.”

She nodded. “So he’s like you, only… magical?”

The Doctor frowned at the comparison. “Maybe a bit.”

The swirling surface of the mirror began to take on a life of its own. At first it generated only enough wind and suction-force to pull small objects, including Star Swirl’s hat, toward itself. But soon it grew stronger, entangling larger objects such as wooden chairs, chunks of masonry, long lengths of fallen columns… and even the Sirens.

The barely conscious form at Star Swirl’s hooves looked almost relieved to be pulled away from him. In contrast, the other two writhed and screamed with terror as they were drawn into the mirror’s depths.

The Doctor smiled. “Magnificent, isn’t it? The beginning of peace. Oh, they may not realize it for a decade or two, but this was where it all began. The last great threat to Equestrian stability…”

Derpy pointed at the far side of the room. “Doc, is Princess Celestia okay?”

He cocked his head, trying to get a closer look at the fallen princess, but became distracted by what Star Swirl was up to.

The blue-coated pony seemed to fixate on an object at his feet. Then he raised a hoof, as if to crush it.

The Doctor vaulted through the opening into the ruined castle, and took off galloping toward Star Swirl. “Stop! Star Swirl, STOP!” he shouted, dashing right up behind the blue-coated pony—

—who whirled on him, horn aglow, and with a look of murder in his eyes. Star Swirl sucked in a deep breath, and his face contorted in a tangle of confusion and pain.

“How,” Star Swirl gawped. “D-Doctor? But, you…”

The Doctor cleared his throat. “Hello, old friend.”

Star Swirl’s breathing became heavy. He shivered, though the room was anything but cold. “You… said you’d be right back! You left me here!”

The Doctor paused, letting his sense of guilt marinate. “How long has it been, Star Swirl?”

“Ten Years! Ten bloody, horribleyears that you should have been here for!”

“Eventful years,” the Doctor said slowly. “First, the Crystal Empire fell to Sombra… then came Discord’s reign of terror… and finally, Nightmare Moon’s betrayal?”

Star Swirl grimaced. “Nightmare Moon left Equestria divided. Then the Sirens shattered it. Now nopony knows what could come next!”

The Doctor looked down at something near Star Swirl’s hooves. “Perhaps an end to needless deaths?”

Star Swirl scoffed, then stooped down and picked up the object he’d been contemplating. It was a gem; dark-red, multifaceted, and angrily reflecting the dim light. “Legend has it that the Sirens only use their mouths for talking or singing. Each one is born with a gem, and without it, they cannot gather sustenance.”

The Doctor raised a hoof. "I don't suppose you've tested this hypothesis?"

Star Swirl chuckled, and threw the gem back down. “You and your science. Very well, let's see what happens if I shatter this. My guess is that somepony will get very hungry!”

“Hey Doc, is this your friend?” came a weak voice from behind them. The Doctor and Star Swirl turned to see Derpy step out from her hiding place.

Star Swirl gaped at the grey pegasus. “Who… but… did you… is this... my replacement?"

The Doctor looked away, flicking an ear. "Oh, Star Swirl, you know you're irreplaceable."

Star Swirl furrowed his brow as he got a closer look at Derpy's eyes. "Doctor, this is sick. Not only did you suck me into your web of lies, but now you do the same to somepony obviously... touched?"

Derpy pointed a hoof at him. "Hey! There ain't no touchin’ going on here, mister!"

Star Swirl’s laugh was somber. “Poor child, what did he tell you to convince you to come with him? Did he promise to show you the mysteries of the universe? Has he told you he would keep you safe? That no matter how real the danger might be, he would see you through it?”

She blinked. “Well… yeah. I mean, at least a lot of what ya just said.”

“And of course I will,” the Doctor said.

“But you abandoned me!” Flecks of spittle flew from Star Swirl’s mouth as he gnashed his teeth. “And in the company of a weak-willed, incompetent princess, whose answer for everything is to coddle the bloodthirsty monsters that threaten her kingdom!”

The Doctor glanced at Celestia. “I would hardly call it ‘coddling’ to turn one’s enemies to stone, or to banish them to the moon for a thousand years.”

Star Swirl spluttered. "A thousand years?! I don't have the benefit of this all being history. This is my life, Doctor. This is right now."

The Doctor stepped forward, approaching as close as he dared. "Of course it is, friend.”

Star Swirl pointed a hoof at him. “How dare you call me that.”

The Doctor cleared his throat. “Star Swirl, I know we’ve had our disagreements, but you should know that some events are fixed. Your time here with Celestia was a part of history that could not be changed. But the choices you make are your own.” He took a deep breath. “Please, choose to let the killing end today. The portal is still open. Send the gem through."

"No.” The word had such weight and finality. “The Sirens charmed us, turning brother against brother… this banishment is much too good for them. Killing even one would be some small bit of comfort for all the death they’ve sown.”

The Doctor raised a hoof. “Such action won’t bring comfort to the living or the dead. I see your longing for relief or absolution, and you know that I have none to offer. I cannot know if the pain you feel will fade with time, but I do know you can choose the kind of pony you will be. The only catch is that it starts here... now... with what you choose to do today.”

Star Swirl regarded the gem.

The Doctor pressed his advantage. “I know you, Star Swirl; you are a scholar, not a murderer.”

Star Swirl narrowed his eyes but nodded. “So?”

“Then make the choice a scholar would; study, learn, be overjoyed by the amazing things the universe has to offer. Do not take one of those things away.”

“But…” Star Swirl hesitated. “I hate them. Genuinely.”

“Excellent! Then feel that hate, and let it guide you not to do what they would in your place.”

Star Swirl cradled his head in his hooves. “Curse you, Doctor.”

The brown earth pony smiled and trotted towards him. “Yes. Good. Thank you, my friend. You don’t know…”

Star Swirl raised his head. Tears streaked their way down his muzzle. “I will send the gem back through. But,” he added in a harsh tone, “if I ever see you again...”

The Doctor scratched his head and tried to think of a witty comeback. “Then I suppose…”

“Goodbye, Doctor.”

Derpy put a hoof on the Doctor’s shoulder. He met her damp, golden, sympathetic eyes. She applied a small amount of pressure, making him take a step back toward where magic had torn great ragged wounds in the stone structure.

“Goodbye, old…” The Doctor’s voice trailed off. “Goodbye, Star Swirl.”

Behind them, the wind-whipping sounds of the portal continued to fade for a few moments before all fell to silence.

The Doctor and Derpy picked their way through the hole in the wall. Outside, they began to hear the sound of wails and open weeping. Streets that had been choked by battle-formations now played host to disorganized groups of ponies desperately trying to heal what had been broken. Some embraced each other, while others tended to the wounded. A few simply sat, staring, dumbstruck at the horror their own hooves had perpetrated.

The Doctor was grateful when Derpy eventually broke the ice. “Listen, Doc, I’m sorry that didn’t go so great.”

The Doctor affected a smile. “We did what we came for. The important thing is that he chose not to lose himself to hatred.”

She bit her lip. “How much of that did you really know was gonna happen? The only other pony there was…”

“Celestia?” The Doctor gave her a knowing look, then brought the aged letter out again. “She was not entirely unconscious, it turns out. Her incident report proved quite interesting, and not only for the part berating Star Swirl for calling her incompetent.”

Derpy nodded. “Gee, it’s creepy though, isn’t it? Thinkin’ about how he was gonna let that Siren starve to death?”

The Doctor shook his head. “She would not have starved.”

Derpy paused in mid-step. “What did ya say?”

“I said she was not going to starve to death, not even if he had crushed the gem. Sirens can eat with their mouths, just like you and I.”

Derpy shook her head, blinking. “But… why didn’t ya just say so?”

The Doctor rolled his eyes. “You heard Star Swirl. He is a pony of legend and magic, not science and observation. The classical texts describe the Siren’s gems as the only way they can eat, so that is what the poor old fool believes.”

Derpy furrowed her brow. “So… ya lied to him?”

The Doctor hesitated. “No, I simply told him only what he needed to know so he could make the best choice for himself.”

She frowned at him. “Then did ya lie to me?”

The Doctor gave her a nervous smile. “Why, whatever do you mean?”

“Well, ya told me we were a mission to save somepony’s life… but now you're tellin' me the Siren back there wasn’t ever in any danger!”

The Doctor raised a forehoof. “Aha, I see your confusion. That is absolutely right, but yes we did save somepony’s life, regardless.”

Derpy looked at him. “Okay, help me out here. Who’d we save?”

The Doctor gave her a sad smile. “My friend.”