Would it Matter if I was Trans?
Ah tilted my head, the setting sun glancing my eyes. "Huh?"
"Would it matter?" Mac said, "Would it matter if I was actually a mare?"
I stared at him. Things had been so cozy up here under the tree up 'till now. All I'd said was he'd made an ugly mare and now he looked right chuffed.
I winced. "Big Mac, I was kidding. You did a good job with the disguise, it was just...It's really hard to make a stallion like you look like a mare. It ain't about the effort, it's about your body."
He shook his head. "Apple Bloom my costume quality is not what I'm talking about. I meant what if the disguise was real? What if I actually was a trans mare? Would you still be calling me ugly? More importantly are you going to go around calling other trans folks ugly?"
My eyes went wide. "Mac, are... Are you sayin' you're some kinda trans pony?"
He crossed his forehooves and gave me an even look. "Like I said. Would it matter if I was?"
I turned away. This was just too much. "I mean, it wouldn't be polite to call anypony that, but y'all know I don't like lyin'. Even if y'all were a girl you'd still be a really ugly one... I mean, not that I..."
I couldn't believe I'd just said that. I was certain I'd just earned myself a grounding, but Big Mac actually looked sympathetic. "That may be sugar cube," He said. "But you know I was trying to look convincing right? And you know there are mares that ain't so blessed and try to look nice with what they've got?"
I huffed. "Of course I know that! I do read you know... And I know how hard you were trying, how much you care! You ran a race in high heels for me! You wanted to help me win so bad you went all out just so I'd have a partner! Makeup, accessories, shoes... All of which you had... right at hoof... In your size..." I paused some things were starting to fit together.
He shrugged. "I suppose I did."
I felt a hard lump forming in my gut. "And... And you like little sensitive things, like dressing up in silly sweaters and playin' with that Smarty Pants doll..."
He nodded.
I gulped. "And... And y'all don't talk much. Like you really avoid it. It's like ya hate the sound of your own voice..."
He nodded again. "Guess so."
My world was crumbling around me. "I... I..." I had no idea what to say.
Big Mac continued. "Let's say you're right. Let's say I was a girl born wrong, like a bunch of poor fillies. Let's say I could never look like a biological mare ever, but I still wanted to look as much like a girl as I could. If I was goin' all out, trying everything I could to look my best as the real me, would you still call me ugly?"
I struggled for something to say. "I mean... Mac, you just look so much like a stallion! Your bones ain't built to look female and I know there's a lot of things they could do to make y'all look more like a girl, but I know changin' your bones ain't one of them. You'd always be stuck somewhere in the middle..." I was starting to get worried actually. If he was a she what would happen to him?
He raised an eyebrow. "And ponies who look a little like one gender and a little like another can't look good?"
I groaned. This was gettin' silly. "I didn't say that! It's just..." I let out a breath. "I guess, they wouldn't be what I'd call normal, but that don't matter so much. I know you'd try your hardest, and Applejack and Rarity and everyone would help you so maybe you could look and sound real good eventually."
I put a hoof on his leg, whatever he was he was still my sibling. "But no matter how you look, you'll always be a beauty on the inside. You're a hero to me Mac, I've known that since I was a filly. And looks don't have nothing to do with that."
He smiled, I swear I saw a tear in his eye. "Thanks Apple Bloom."
He put a big red hoof around my shoulder and hugged me tight. We just sat there for a moment, just staring out at the sunset, warm and happy.
"Soooo..." I said finally. "Y'all are actually my sister?"
"Nope!" He said.
My eyes went wide. "B-but the whole talk! Your dress!"
"That thing? I just bumped into it in the attic when we were lookin' earlier. There's a lot of old clothes up there."
"But in that size?"
He shrugged. "Like I said, some ladies are big." He got up, dusting himself off. "We'd best get back and hear what happened with AJ. Should be quite the yarn."
I started stammering, "But- Mac! What about the sweaters, and the Smarty Pants doll, and the not talking!" I cried.
He chuckled. "I just don't like runnin' my mouth all the time. And boys are allowed to be sensitive souls too ya know."
"But, but-!"
He smirked, making his way down the hill. "Don't you dawdle now little apple! We've got family to greet."
"But, what the-?" Uggh!"
I marched down the hill, muttering to myself. "I swear, that stallion's kooky..."
