Breaking Rules Beyond Rules

by Calamity Velvet

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Random, Discord
Length: 2494

He could just snap his fingers to solve his problem, but he decided that it just wasn't fun enough.

Discord is tired of peace and harmony. Despite the reason why he's freed is to be Celestia's servant, of which he never even served any purposes due to the lacking of chaos that was not made by him, he decided to do something about it, even if it took breaking one itty, bitty, rule about making chaos again...

Published 2016-01-10 06:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-01-10 06:00:01 UTC

An Unnecacery Process of Randomly Complicated Things to Accomplish a Simple Goal

So, it’s all over... the adventures, the lessons on friendship, everything... is gone. Twilight is now crowned the princess, and is now peacefully ruling over Manehatten. Spike remains in Ponyville, running the library on his own. Rarity now lives in Canterlot, where she intends to all the garden parties runs a major company. Applejack still lives in Sweat Apple Acres along with the rest of her family, as it always had been. Rainbow Dash has now officially moved into the Wonderbolt Academy, and will soon be an official Wonderbolt. Fluttershy still lives in Ponyville, and visits Spike quite often. Pinkie Pie is finally moving across Equestria, making everypony ‘Smile Smile Smile’.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders now have their cutie marks. Cadence and Shinning Armor now have children. And the two Princesses, Celestia and Luna, are still peacefully ruling over Equestria to this day, and all the villains had rather died, disappeared, or simply just changed their ways.

Now, your probably wondering, 'why start a story in the end, when there is no more story to tell?' Well, you see, this may seem like the end, but when one story ends, that means the beginning of another! So, now your probably wondering, 'but if everything is already taken care of, and everything is gonna run smoothly for now so, thus, no more chaos to vanquish, then how are you gonna start another story from there?' Well, instead making a Slice of Life series about Cadence and Shinning Armor, (witch I might consider making sometime) there is yet another event, just awaiting to be brewed.

For deep within the Everfree Forest, there lays one of the few villains that is still alive to this day, and can still do bad things... Discord... here he lays, in his cave, bored out of his bloody mind. He pondered, and pondered, and pondered, on what to do. You see, he’s been freed from his stone prison, but the the catch was that he was not allowed to use his powers for his own purposes, only when occasionally Celestia wants to use him like a tool. Of course, Discord didn't like this, but it beats being frozen and can only hear Celestia’s namby-pamby princess stuff. So either way, life sucks, but there are still some pros and cons, like.... ah... pie!

Yeah, pie, he can eat pie. He can’t normally do that when he’s frozen, right? Okay, so there are quite the pros and cons, (even know pie sadly isn’t always the answer, but strangely more often in math than you would think) but it’s all still booooring!!! He paced around, still bored, ready to go mad. So then he wondered, how did things end this quickly? Why is there no more adventure? Why is there no more... chaos...? He came to the conclusion that things did seem to die down when Twilight became an Alicorn. In fact, the time when Twilight entered to the human world seemed to be the last interesting thing that happened, EVER!!!

So then he realized that he was freed a few mouths before it all got dull, so then he got the idea of using his magic to go back in time, and see all the other adventures. But then he remembered what Celestia said about using his magic... well, she did say that he will make no more chaos, she didn’t say anything about just watching the adventures and not interfering. He made himself a doppelganger in case Celestia wants him, but it's far too unlikely. Well, better safe than sorry anyway. So, he made his clone, and made sure that that copy was actually happy with his job, but still acts like him so there would be no suspension. So, just like that, he cracked his knuckles, snapped his fingers, and off he goes to ze past to watch what previously happened. But one moment after, he came back for some popcorn, then traveled back to begin the show.

[{-x-}]

Well, just as he thought- it was girly, it was sappy, but there was still an interesting thing or two there, and only a few moments made him laugh. His favorite day, besides the day we ruled Equestria, was Twilight's first Winter Wrap-Up day because of all the crashes and all the pain Twilight had faced. Now that’s what he called chaos, but it could still use a little cotton candy clouds and a hint of chocolate-rain. But all in all, it was still a wondrous time for him. But after he had finally caught up, he had finally returned to presumably resume his boring days. He thought about exploring other places, but he wasn't sure if that would somehow backfire on him.

Now, I know what your thinking, 'wait... Discord? Thinking things through? Is he really like that?' well, since you didn’t ask, he had feared of being stoned again. So he figured he should just be a little more careful, making sure he'll watch himself before things get out of hand... or claw... or paw... well, normally, he dose like it when things get out of... I guess I’ll use this one more, 'claw', but he knows that if it dose, then he would lose everything. It’s just like taking cookies out of a cookie jar! You see, you may want a lot of cookies, and would love to have all of them.

But if you do, then you would have a two minute time-out, so it’s best to take one from the jar every night when no one is looking. So, you might as well rather just do it all, get caught and punished, or just do a little, keep it secret, and do just enough to satisfy yourself and never even get a slap in the wrist. So, he decided to just watch his favorites over and over again, especially Winter Wrap-Up day. But after awhile, it all started to get old, and eventually he started counting down from 3 with his claws when something was about to happen, and started mumbling what was going to happen next to himself every now and then.

So after years of this compressed into a second, he had officially learned every single moment, every single action, and every single tiny detail, from what the ponies did, to even what the flowers and grass and leaves were going to do. He tried to make a little challenge by asking himself what’s going to happen each time, but that got old very quickly. So, he slouched on his couch that he made with the snap of his fingers, and turned on the TV that appeared out of nowhere with the remote that he made out of thin air. He yawed, and slouched, and yawed, and slouched, and so forth.

He watched the news hosted by himself, dressed up as a female news reporter; watched some sitcom’s staring him; watched a movie based on himself, (witch was based off of a book based off of a true story) and even found the time to finally watch that documentary about himself. Later on, he played Ping-Pong with himself, then he’d ‘gone out' to dinner with himself, then he ‘returned’ home to himself and wrestled with himself, but then he, himself, was being quite the party popper and broke it up. He hated himself so much...

So, before he knew it, he made item after item, after item, after item, and enjoyed activity after activity, after activity, and before he knew it, his cave became an endless wonder. It was like an entire universe on the inside, yet small and regular on the outside. (just a little magic I like to call, 'British Sci-Fi technology') And, well, before he knew it, it got out of claw! He had gone too far with this, and eventually, he convinced himself into going back to the past, and changing everything. But, before he snapped his fingers and made himself ruler of Equestria for all of eternity, he finally realized that he was officially going to far with this. But then, he got an idea. A wonderful... awful idea...

He decided to instead of just making himself ruler and making the story all about him. (which he did have quite some screen time, after all) Instead, he decided to just alter it, and use some other pony... or person.... mahahaha... Discord clapped his claw & paw and rubbed them together as he filled his cave with low, soft, evil laughter. He snapped his fingers, and out came a hammer, created a wall, grabbed a red spray paint from Celestia knows where, (actually, she doesn't know anything about this at all) and sprayed a big red A with a big red circle around it.

Then he held it back, ready to give it a swing... but then turned around and smashed an emergency glass container that held a portal gun. He threw the hammer away, with a big explosion, a cat screech, and a man yelling 'MY LEG!!!' as he grabbed his portal gun. He aimed, and the big A with the red circle became a target. He fired, but instead of a portal coming out, instead was an arrow that hit the center, and out came a cute little kitty-cat out of the arrow. He looked at his gun, and realized it was set to 'Cute Kitty-Kat Arrow' in between 'Portal' and 'Real-Boy-Ending'.

He blushed, and said to himself, “Opps, ah oh, Spaghetti-os” and switched from 'Kute Kitty-Kat Arrow' to 'Portal' mode, then gave it a second blow, and pop-goes-the-Weisal, he got a portal, and then the kitty turned into stone... then into a butterfly... then into a dragon... then into a Ash Ketchem hat as baby angels grabbed the hat and graciously planted it on Discord's head... while a sun flower folded his arms, looking offended by the pun, 'planted on his head', I had made. Excuse me, Mr. Sunflower... anyway, one of the baby angels then held out a hand.

Discord rolled his eyes, grabbed his wallet, then he held out something in his claw... and when he opened it, came a human hand and low-fived it. The angel smiled and nodded as it left. Discord pushed his hat backwards, and walked in, filled with determination. When he entered the Portal, he went into the dimension of windows of memories Celestia took Twilight when she crowned her Princess and sang '~You’ve come... such a long, long way... and I’ve watched you... sense that very fir-' Discord glared at the forth wall, and I shut up. (And yes, that did just happened. Get use to it!)

Only instead of creepy footage of Twilight’s personal life, it was creepy footage of everything’s personal life. There were doors to everything- Dimension 12, the Twilight Zone, Fairy Land, Disney World, Candy Land, Heaven, Earth, Hell, Generation 1, (what’s the diff?) you name it! There was this endless hall of every single dimension known to man, pony, dragonquess, timelord, tugruta, and beyond known. There is even a small dimension of me, sitting down in a car, where I am writing this on my trip to home away from Georgia. But it’s best if we ignore this handsome fellow for paradox related reasons.

Discord pointed a claw at each portal and mumbled 'eenie, meenie, miney, Lord, go fall in a ditch' to himself. He finally decided to grab a small square door out of the blue, opened it, and jumped in. The first thing he exited out of was a wardrobe. In front of it were four children, two boys and two girls, who all stared in awe and shock. They where dead silent for a moment,

“Stay in school kids”

But then Discord broke that silence, then closed the door. They all continued to stare as they try to comprehend what just happened. Finally, the oldest boy turned to his youngest sister, and said,

“Well, Lucy, looks like your right...”

“I take back everything I had said.” added the youngest boy. Everyone just all nodded and all said “agreed” in unison. After Discord had gone back in the wardrobe, he ended up in a closet, in a little girl’s room. He smiled evilly, and slithered his way to the girl, and whispered in her ear 'boo', and the girl screamed. Discord held out a yellow container with a clear bar, and red filled up that bar all the way. He opened the closet door, and threw it in with a loud crashing sound, then closed it and reopened it before flew his way in, like refreashing a webpage from something new to appear.

In a gas station, in a convent store, there was a hallway with two bathrooms. The men's room, and the women's room... a door opened, there came a scream, then Discord frantically apologized, then Discord open his way out of the women’s room. He stood against the door, arms wide, paw and claw on the wall, and a panicked look on his face, and he panted.

“I... did not... need... to see that...”

He breathed, and wished that the image wasn't burned in his brain. He sighed, then entered the men’s room to escape, only to hear a manly cry. “OH COME ON!!!”

He had enough of this, so he escaped his way out, back from the square-shaped door of which he came from, and decided to just suck it up and chose himself. So, after a lot of psychics (and back) braking work, he had finally decided to use a search engine (long story) to find people who would make great 'hero's for the rule he was going to set them in. While he waited for the results to load, he felt a small disturbance... like, Equestria was falling apart, and Celestia was after him... the first part, he was sure of, but the second had a fair chance of just being paranoid from his slight guilt of this despicable crime. He shrugged, and figured it won’t do much harm.

Hopefully, his goal was worth it. But then something dawned on him. If he could see the past, why not see the future? Well, seeing the future isn't as easy as seeing the past, for the past is a shadow, a film, while the future is still a mold-able clay that hasn't hardened yet. But, being the lord of chaos, he did. And when he did, he saw black, spiked plants growing all over Equestria. A smirk grew on his presumable-muzzle as he recalled what he had done a thousand years ago, of which will pay off a week later, and it had only been six days of boredom that got to Discord. So he traveled back in time to give his past self a little 'snack' for him the munch on for his first rule over Equestria, so he can keep Equestria from getting boring...