For Big Mac, it had been a very hectic (and strange) day.
The biggest but most soft-hearted member of the Apple clan had spent it with his youngest sister, Apple Bloom. Initially it seemed the filly was going to compete with her older sibling Applejack in the annual Sisterhooves Social Games (A competition which they came close to winning, but not quite, every year).
Sadly, the orange mare was called out on 'Cutie Map' business somewhere in Manehatten, thus dooming the ribboned filly to spectator status at the event. After all... If Applejack was away, what else could the yellow CMC member do... But watch?
Big Mac had other ideas, though.
Already feeling annoyed at being overshadowed by Applejack's recent heroics, which had promoted her to Number One Icon status in Bloom's eyes, thus relegating him to also-ran, the monosyllabic stallion was determined to win his youngest sibling's favour again.
Even if it meant humiliating himself in the process.
So, he did it. He took a break from the endless manual labour he did around the farm, to put on his best female disguise: Including a dress that Rarity might find too extreme, a carefully coiffured wig and a face caked in make-up.
And thus, Orchard Blossom was born.
About to make her none-awaited debut at the Sisterhooves Social.
This charming Southern Belle would have all of the competitors fooled. And with Big Mac's natural strength and determination, he was sure to win hooffuls of blue rosettes at the event. Apple Bloom would be proud... And then she'd have TWO siblings to look up to.
At least... That was the plan.
In reality, no-one was fooled by the giant red stallion in drag. Plus, Mac's power and ruthlessness had only succeeded in getting the pair thrown out of the contest. And to add insult to injury... It turns out he didn't even NEED to dress up to compete alongside Apple Bloom.
It was just that everypony was too polite to tell him how ridiculous he looked. They all knew about his Princess fantasies, due to a shared dream him and all of Equestria had once shared... And naturally, had assumed his elaborate get-up was just an extention of that.
He'd really messed things up... AND made a proper fool of himself.
Amazingly though, it had all worked out in the end. Being the empathetic-beyond-her-years filly she was, Apple Bloom cottoned onto Big Mac's depressive state of mind later that evening, and after a bit of convincing had managed to extract the truth out of her older brother as to why he'd gone to such lengths for her earlier on.
During a wide-ranging heart-to-heart, both Apple family members had managed to see where they'd both gone wrong... Big Mac was trying too hard to win over his youngest sister's favour (which he'd discovered he'd never lost in the first place) and Bloom apologised for perhaps not spending as much time with the stallion as she used to, when they were younger and closer.
After a long hilltop sitdown, they'd finally reached a compromise: They would set aside one afternoon a week for Brother/Sister time, to enable the duo to never again feel as though they were neglecting each other.
Later on, they told a freshly returned Applejack all about the fun 'n' games that day, and the orange mare had a good laugh at the antics of her kin, while frowning at her brother's ruination of their late mama's best frock. He would have to clean it by hoof the next day... A job which the Apple family matriarch Granny Smith had generously volunteered to assist in.
Apart from that, Applejack was just glad that her dear siblings had seemingly reconnected, and their bond now appeared stronger than ever. Everything was as it should be, and two adventures had successfully concluded that day.
Now, it was the morning of the day after... And Big Mac was all alone, doing the chores (as usual). Granny had gone to the market, to pick up the detergent for the cleaning of the frock. Apple Bloom was at school, apparently helping out a fellow classmate with this bid to be class president. And Applejack was visiting their alleged distant relation, Pinkie Pie.
All was quiet, apart from the clucking of the chickens, and the sound of the plough as Big Mac effortlessly pulled it through the field.
That is, until he noticed a purple maned senior stallion slowly heading up the path towards the farm.
Mac stopped his tenure for a second, wiping the sweat off of his brow. Who could that be? The apples hadn't been harvested yet, so it couldn't be a customer. Could it be... A caller for Granny Smith?
That old dark horse, he thought to himself.
Figuratively speaking, of course.
Big Mac was a little too impatient to wait for the elder horse to approach him, so he undid the plough to meet up with the unscheduled guest near the gate. As the red stallion approached the smaller horse, he noticed the older stallion was carrying flowers and chocolates.
So, Granny WAS a-courting, thought Mac with a grin. You really are never too old.
Highly amused by the prospect, Big Mac put on his usual friendly smile. "Yup?" came the trademark greeting from his lips.
"Er... Hello? Orchard Blossom... Is that you?" The elderly stallion seemed agitated and nervous at the same time, balancing himself on one front hoof to the other.
The older horse's question had broken through Big Mac's usual air of indifference "W...what?" he asked, his eyes as wide as saucers.
"Listen..." The new arrival hesitated, before finally speaking again "My name is Judge Redd... Like the colour of my hat. And you can probably guess my occupation. Do you recognise me now?" He gave Mac a hopeful expression.
Under closer inspection, Mac realised that he DID know this weird visitor. He'd been one of the appraisers the day before at the Sisterhooves Social... The only male judge there.
The bizarre thing was... Even as the red stallion had messed up nearly every single event, earning himself groans of frustration from those in the panel... Judge Redd had been staring at the farm labourer... Giving him lots of winks... Seductive smiles... Blown kisses...
Why, it was almost as if...
Oh, no.
Big Mac almost turned as white as the sheets that Granny Smith had left out to dry, before leaving on her errand.
Seeing his words have such a traumatising effect on Big Mac, Redd decided to come straight to the point. "It... It's okay Sir. I know everything. My fellow judges told me all about your masquerade soon after you left. Incidentally, you left something behind..."
Mac watched as Redd reached into his saddlebag, and pulled out a yellow wig... The same one the labourer had worn the previous day, as part of his 'brilliant' disguise.
"I must admit..." Redd continued, blushing slightly. "I did feel mighty foolish, when I found out the truth about you. Maybe it's because I'm getting on a bit... The cataracts are starting to kick in. Or, perhaps it was the hopeless romantic dreams of an old fool... It's been years since my... Dearly departed... Left me, and I was desperate for one last chance at love, before I..." He couldn't finish the sentence, and started sniffling a little.
Big Mac was dumbfounded. Despite his concern at seeing this poor elderly pony lay his heart on the line, and tell deep secrets like that to a stallion he barely knew, the farmworker couldn't help but feel an overriding sensation of being stuck in the surreal.
Still, he was glad everything had been cleared up. Mac picked up the wig with his teeth, and nodded slightly at Redd. He was sure that the older horse would want to get back to his own affairs now... And both of them could put this whole embarrassing ordeal behind them.
It was as Big Mac was turning his back on Redd, that he heard it "WAIT!!"
The red stallion pivoted to face the purple haired senior again. "Yup?" He asked, rather confused.
Redd lowered his hat, as if he was trying to hide something on his face. "I... I said I found out you weren't a mare" he stammered. "I didn't say... I wasn't still interested..."
Mac gasped, and dropped the wig into the mud. ANOTHER thing he'd have to wash later on.
That was the least of his concerns at this present time, though.
"But... But... I'm a stallion!!" Mac was understandably perturbed enough to start talking in complete sentences.
At this declaration, Redd simply shrugged his hooves. "Well... Nopony's perfect..." He matter of factly stated.
"Why... Why would you want to go out with ME?!" Mac was still getting to grips with the situation.
Redd smiled at this innocuous question. "Why WOULDN'T I, is what you should be asking yourself. You're strong... I saw you bust through those obstacles like they were made of twigs. You're brave... Putting on that performance in front of everypony yesterday, for the sake of your little sister. And, most of all, you have a good heart... I saw how you doted on her, how close the pair of you are. Even if I wasn't as blind as a bat, I could tell how much the two of you loved each other."
Now it was Big Mac's turn to blush. Fortunately, he was just the right hue to cover up the flushing of his cheeks.
"I don't want to put you under any pressure." Redd added "I have no idea if you 'swing' that way, or how you feel about me. I just came over here to make my intentions clear if you're interested, or ever need somepony to talk to. Oh..." At this point, he slapped the top of his forehead "... And to give you these. I swear, I'm losing my memory, along with my eyesight. I originally bought them for Orchard Blossom... But seeing as how she's not here, you can take them. Give them to one of your sisters, or granny if you like..."
Redd carefully deposited the flowers and chocolates he'd been carrying on a non-muddy patch on the ground. Mac stared at them for a few seconds, almost as if they'd provide answers for the inexplicable encounter he found himself in the middle of. And, by the time the farmworker had finished his deliberations... The older pony had gone.
No, wait... He hadn't. Redd was hobbling away slowly just a few feet away, which gave Big Mac pause for thought.
True... He didn't have much of a love-life... And that brief fling he had with Miss Cheerilee had ended disastrously. He tended to spend most of his evenings alone, curled up with his favourite stuffed toy Smarty Pants, than other equines.
But... Was he missing something? Was there a whole wide world out there of dating he was missing out on... Because of his own shyness? It was safe to say that the stallion trotting away now was a bit older than the kind he would usually go for... Let alone, if he was the right sex or not.
But, hey... He wasn't bad looking (give or take a liver spot or too) and he was nice enough to return Mac's mama's precious wig. Plus, after hearing his story, Redd could really do with someone to listen to his problems... And if anypony was an expert at that, it was good ol' reliable Big Macintosh.
As long as Redd didn't expect much talking in return.
And who knows... the labourer might like it.
Heck, he'd heard rumours that Pinkie Pie had fallen in love with a statue.
So, maybe contemplation of a relationship with a geriatric wasn't so unreasonable after all.
That was it.
He'd made his mind up.
"WAIT UP!" the deep baritone voice rumbled.
Author's Note
Get ready for a sequel, detailing their wild day out in the most intimate of details soon.
Or, maybe not.