The Speeches of Toys

by AnObliviousAuthor

Rating: everyone
Tags: Main 6, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Other, Derpy Hooves, Slice of Life, Human
Length: 3425

Every toy on earth is as alive as you or me. This is the tale of some of mine.

A white mare did her best not to so much as blink, something that proved very difficult as the not-so-young girl clutching her squeezed all the tighter and stroked her velvety soft purple mane. Just a few more minutes, and they would be there. A few more minutes until she came to her new "home".
Rarity only hoped she could survive that long.

Published 2015-10-05 00:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2016-10-10 04:00:20 UTC

The Things We Say

Rarity sighed with boredom and frustration at her predicament.

"Wha's wrong sugar cube?" Asked the three Applejacks on the shelf with her.

"Well, I can live with a little bit of mud on my coat or... "in" my mane, but did I HAVE to be put on the BOTTOM of the pile... UPSIDE DOWN?" Rarity retorted indignantly as, for the hundredth time that day, she futilely tried to get into a more comfortable position.

"You know as well as the rest of us that we can't fix this without somebody coming and sorting us or for the store to close." The last Twilight said from her advantaged view.

"You are quite the one to talk! Not only is your position FAR more comfortable than mine, you're the fan favorite barring Fluttershy! ESPECIALLY with your wings! I mean, think about it! Your 'alicorn line' is so popular that you are the last of your model here! I am, as I have already stated multiple times, UPSIDE DOWN!" Rarity caught her uncouth shouting and dramatically sighed instead. "It wouldn't be SO bad if I had my Spikey-Wikey with me!" To her faint amusement, some of her miniature keychain doppelgängers began twittering in agreement.

You may be wondering, why are there three Applejacks, why is Rarity upside down, and why, for Celestia's sake, do they know about their fans?!? The simple answer? They're toys. The longer, somewhat more boring answer that technically could be discredited as filler? The main upside down Rarity, the three Applejacks on the shelf with her, the Twilight in a prime position, and a couple Fluttershies that haven't said anything yet are eleven-inch plushes with fabric manes waiting to be bought at a Michael's Arts & Crafts store in Northern California.

"Girls, someone's coming!" Twilight suddenly hissed. Rarity stiffened out of reflex, even though she had already been pretty stiff from all the others pressing against her. She waited a few seconds, during which nopony dared to breathe, and she felt herself be lifted. Please don't carelessly throw me back! Rarity silently pleaded. Although the face that was giving her an appraising look was a bit older than she had originally been told to expect, after seeing several Twilight plushies going to men older, it didn't surprise her. Not only was the face relatively young, around fifteen or sixteen from what Rarity could tell, it was feminine. All things considered, a teen girl was not bad. The girl bit her lip, blue eyes full uncertainty. She picked up an Applejack, and seemed to be in deliberation with herself for a couple minutes, then noticed something outside Rarity's field of view. Putting the Applejack back, the girl tossed her blonde hair before power walking to a small family and begging to get Rarity.

"All right, Charlie, I guess you may buy her." The girl's mother finally caved. Charlie's smile was quite wide after that as they waited the last couple minutes before checking out.

"Congratulations, Rarity!" The Fluttershy plushies and keychains "shouted" so quietly that even all together Rarity barely heard them. Frankly, Rarity thought, I just hope that she's not going to leave me in some unfortunate position.

The girl, oblivious to Rarity's concerns, cheerfully exclaimed to her family her joy at being able to get the Rarity doll. Unbeknownst to the girl and her amused family, Rarity's smile became a little more genuine. Well, at least I brought such a smile to her face, that sparkle to her eyes. She really does look lovely with such joy filling her. Meanwhile, the small family came to their car, and they climbed in, Charlie constantly exclaiming happiness about her new possession. A light hold, firm enough to keep Rarity from falling, but not too tight so as to squeeze her was the grasp of the girl, almost as if she knew, somehow, that Rarity was conscious.

A few minutes later, they pulled into a two-story stucco building, or specifically the carport that was underneath the upper level. Charlie, still beaming, brought Rarity into the building, in a room that appeared to be a kitchen and dining room, then turned to the right and dashed through a living/family room with a rather impressive television towards a rather short hall. At the end of the hall she turned left and entered a room. A room that was apparently Charlie's bedroom. The room was large, relatively speaking, and there were two things that immediately sparked Rarity's interest.

One was the black loft bed directly in front of her.

The other was Charlie's somewhat impressive collection of MLP related merchandise. With everything from t-shirts to boardgames to plushes to dolls to original art, Rarity could tell that Charlie was dedicated to Pony. In fact, Charlie was humming the theme song to herself as she walked to the ladder on the bed. Then she put Rarity on top, so Rarity only got a glimpse of the hot pink and black zebra stripe comforter before she was standing on it. Meanwhile, Charlie slipped off her shoes, then scurried up the ladder to join Rarity up there. Charlie then put Rarity on her pillow, then grabbed a Twilight, Pinkie, and season one special edition Luna at the same scale as Rarity, a Spike with a much larger scale, and a Derpy/Ditzy with a slightly smaller scale.

"Well," said Charlie, "I'll leave all of you alone to get reacquainted." With not another word, she climbed down the ladder and left the room. Once it seemed like Charlie was gone, Rarity heard a bit gasp and felt herself being tackled by a familiar (if somewhat dirty) pink blur.

"Rarity!" Exclaimed an ecstatic Pinkie, "oh my gosh, this is amazing! I was just telling Twilight how my Pinke Sense was telling me we'd have a new old friend joining us! Not that you're old out anything, but we've been friends for like, forever, which is why you're an old friend, but I've never met this you, so you're also a new friend!" Pinkie paused for a moment and got off of Rarity. "Too bad I can't throw you a 'welcome to Charlie's room' party, but we might not be able to clean it up in time." She shrugged and went back to her position on the bed, allowing Rarity a moment to catch up.

"Er, right. Well, thank you anyway darling." Rarity said when she caught her breath after her but from Pinkie that would have been bone crushing, had Rarity actually had bones. She looked over here new old friends, as Links had so eloquently put it, and couldn't help a slight pause when she came to Spike.

Of course Spike noticed the extra attention. "Hey Rarity." He said. Rarity felt like she could faint.

Author's Note

Yay! I finally got this up! I should mention that although this is the first story I've posted, it is far from the first I've written.
Also, while criticism is appreciated, please do not swear in the comments. You never know who might read your comments.

Meet and Greet

Spike was starting to feel uncomfortable from the intensity of Rarity's gaze. She had sort of frozen since he greeted her, mouth ever so slightly open, and her eyes huge. Twilight tried to get Rarity's attention by clearing her throat.

It didn't work.

"Uh... Are you okay?" Spike asked, shifting his weight from foot to foot as best he could on the unstable surface of Charlie's pillow. He had, of course, daydreamed about his lovely princess, but seeing her there, just staring at him was something else entirely. But his discomfort finally ended, as hearing Spike's question snapped Rarity out of her trance at last.

"Er, ahem, y-yes, I'm fine." Rarity finally said. "Just a little surprised that Charlie has you, is all."

"Oh, good! You already know her name." Twilight said, finally receiving attention from Rarity. "You also already know the basic rules: don't let her see you moving, talking, etcetera; don't do anything you can't undo before she sees; be there for her as best you can." Rarity nodded slightly at each item Twilight listed, these were things that every toy from every company, every show, every nation, knew. "However, there are a couple other things that are important to know." Twilight then went on to explain Charlie's weekly schedule, something that Spike already knew due to the fact that he was her second piece of MLP:FiM merchandise ever.

First was a six-inch Fluttershy doll she had gotten in a Christmas stocking, but how could Spike compete with Charlie's favorite Pony? Especially since he hadn't been in production at that time. Next had been Pinkie, then Twilight, then Derpy or whatever her name was, then Luna, then an alicorn Twilight with a yarn mane that stayed on the desk right beneath where Spike was standing, and now, Rarity. That didn't, of course, account for all the other types of Pony merch, but Spike couldn't be bothered to remember everything.

Around the time Spike finished reminiscing, particularly about the day Charlie got him, Twilight had finished explaining, in excruciating detail, Charlie's weekly schedule. Grateful that it was over, Spike added something he knew Twilight would have forgotten. "Also, sometimes Charlie and her family will go on trips. Usually she'll take one of us."

"Right." Twilight said. "Well, with all of that out of the way, we should-" but it was never revealed what Twilight believed to be their next course of action, because the reappearance of Charlie caused all of her pony plushes to collapse back to how they were left.

"Ugh, I can't believe that boy!" Charlie fumed. "I mean, why can't he leave me alone for two minutes!?" She continued to grumble to herself as typing was heard on a keyboard. Spike sighed internally. Oh, boy, he thought to himself, Edward really miffed her this time, didn't he? Of course, no one answered his unasked question about the younger brother that caused Charlie's distress. Noticing that Charlie was being a bit more forceful than necessary, seeing how her typing shook the entire bed, and recognizing that Charlie would need a better stress relief than whatever she was doing was likely to give her, Spike decided to "accidentally" fall from the bed. So, he rolled over to the edge, and waited for the perfect opportunity. Then, on a particularly strong shake, he flipped himself over the metal bar and let himself free-fall for the six feet to the floor.

Thump! Went Spike's body as it hit the ground. The sound got Charlie's attention, and she turned to the origin. Seeing Spike lying limply on the floor, she stood up and quickly snatched him up.

"Was I really shaking the bed that hard?" she muttered under her breath. "Oh, Spike, I'm so sorry!" she said a bit louder, drawing Spike into a tight hug. Something seemed to occur to her then, because after shifting her hold so she could look in the plush dragon's face, she said, "Come on, Spike! We're gonna watch the next episode of Pony together!" Spike didn't start at the sudden change, having gotten quickly used to Charlie's emotional fluctuations. Charlie quickly turned to her laptop, where she had apparently been having a chat with someone.

LunaFan2000: Hey, girl, what’s hanging?

FlyingFeet1416: Not much. Just got some new MLP merch. Also HE is being annoying.

LunaFan2000: Oo, not sure how i should feel for you

FlyingFeet1416: how about jealous instead of uber jelly. the merch is Rarity and-

That was all Spike was able to read before Charlie shut the window. Then Spike was in the crook of Charlie's arm, dizzily watching as wood look-alike linoleum floors switched with beige, textured walls about ten times before Charlie spun on her toes and sat down. With the remote conveniently on the couch, Charlie was able to turn everything on. Heading for the TV's web browser, it wasn't long before she had the one where Pinkie knows playing.

There were times, meaning more than once, when Charlie paused the video so that she could laugh. To the point where tears of mirth were streaming from her eyes. It was almost as bad as two episodes ago, where she paused the video for five minutes when ‘cousin Orchard Blossom’ was revealed so that she could laugh. Granted, Spike had wanted to laugh too, at how Big Mac was acting, but he had to mostly keep a straight face. But that day… Spike had, more than once, been on the receiving end of Pinkie’s mania, so seeing a two-dimensional version of her doing shenanigans wasn't as amusing to Spike as it was to Charlie.

So, while Charlie calmed down from her laughter, Spike let his mind wander to the Rarity doll. Dolls cannot have children, for obvious reasons, and age doesn't have the same effect on a doll as it on a truly living creature. For, although a doll cannot be compared to a golem, mindless and soulless, a doll is not truly alive either. And, that also meant that technically, he was the same species as her… Spike very nearly shook his head, despite Charlie's presence. After all, how could he ever hope to catch Rarity's eye? Knowing Charlie, she'd try to keep her clean and pristine, while he was allowed to… Collect dirt from his and Charlie's trips together. Spike was separate enough from his in-show counterpart to recognize the hopelessness of entertaining such an idea. As Charlie finally calmed down enough to continue the episode, Spike came to a decision. A decision that whether or not he and Rarity became more than friends didn't matter, so long as Charlie was happy. But if Rarity offers, I won't say no. And he watched the rest of the episode unperturbed.

Author's Note

Finally! This took way longer than it should have. So, sorry about that, and hope you enjoy!

Getting Comfortable... Probably.

Twilight was not a happy mare. Spike had, once again, done something impulsive trying to help Charlie. Not that helping her was a bad thing, but he was getting dangerously close to giving himself away. Although it was unlikely that Charlie would react as Sid had in the first Toy Story, she was still likely to tell someone. She was… Strange, that Charlie. Sometimes she would be very mature, but other times she would act younger than she was. Twilight wasn't sure how Charlie would react. But but Twilight had other problems.

“My goodness! That was rather risky, was it not?” Rarity exclaimed, staring out after Spike and Charlie.

“Yes. Yes it was.” Twilight growled.

“Is something wrong, dear?” Rarity asked, eyebrow raised at Twilight's behavior, causing her to sigh.

“Not really,” Twilight began, “it's just that…”

“It's just Spike does a lot of really crazy things when he thinks Charlie's in trouble or hurting, and Twilight’s worried that he might give himself away, letting Charlie know the truth about all of us and all the other toys she has and her brother has and everybody she knows! And even though she'll probably react better than that mean-meanie pants Sid from Toy Story, she might react in a different way that's just as bad! So Twilight's worried for Charlie and Spike ‘cause if Spike gets found out Charlie might freak out! But I know that Spike won't get caught, and even if he does get caught, Charlie has such an active imagination that she'd think that it was just in her head, so Twilight's just being a silly filly.” at the end of her second rant in less than an hour, Pinkie smiled as she gave Twilight a noogie, her smile somehow still having a cartoonish squeak despite not being in the actual show. Twilight just went with it, since even though she couldn't use magic, and the Rainbow Dash that Edward had couldn't fly, Pinkie still managed to ignore physics and defy reason. Didn't seem to have a Pinkie Sense, for whatever reason. Perhaps she could turn it on and off at will? It would make as much sense as anything else Twilight had come up with.

“Er, right.” Twilight decided that it may be best to move on. “Well, anyway, Rarity, perhaps you would like to meet the other plushes that we share Charlie with at night?” Despite Twilight's best efforts, a bit of desperation made its way into her tone, causing Derpy to snicker a little.

“Oh, of course darling! That sounds delightful!” Rarity exclaimed, to Twilight's relief.

“Great!” exclaimed Derpy. “they're over here!” she then bounded over to where the other residents of Charlie’s top bunk. There were not many, but the ones that were there… Twilight sighed to herself. They suited Charlie perfectly.

The first, and oldest, was Anne. More than ten years old, she had been part of one of the earliest Build-a-Bear series, and it was beginning to show through her dark brown fluff, especially on her sound box, which had begun its downward spiral from cheerful laughter to nightmarish static. Hopefully that would be fixed, and the sound box replaced. Despite her age, Anne’s kind, protective spirit had not dulled, and this showed as Derpy introduced Rarity to the only one of them who was more than five.

“Ah, hello there, my dear! You must be Rarity. Pinkie Pie has told me all about how your familiar acts on the show our Charlie has enjoyed these past couple of years!” Anne’s cheerful voice broke Twilight out of her musing, and she had to smother a smile as Anne got right in Rarity’s face. “Do anything to hurt her and I will make your life a living nightmare.” Rarity, understandably, shrunk away from the sudden hostility in the previously welcoming bear’s tone.

“W-wouldn’t think of it darling!” She managed to squeak before Derpy rushed her to the next. A much newer Build-a-Bear, Bubblegum was a pastel rainbow, the wavy lines covering her head to paw. Her name likely came from the plastic bear head shaped cotton candy scented air freshener, for lack of a better term.

"Haha, I would not consider Anne's threat too seriously." Bubblegum always made wide, sweeping gestures. She was dramatic that way. "She is a dear, but far too overprotective. Once she comes to trust you, she will always look out for you and your best interests. Anyway, Rarity, feel free to come to me whenever you need anything."

"Will do, darling. Thank you very much." Next, a cycloptic Minion Charlie had named Dale after winning him in a claw machine at the Boardwalk was more than happy to give Rarity an enthusiastic and completely incomprehensible greeting, before hugging Rarity and moving to the side, allowing the one other resident of Charlie's bed to come and greet the new comer.

Cuddles the elephant was grey and pink, with a flat, square head. Only her trunk lent the state fair prize more than two dimensions. Considering that she had not been around even as long as Twilight, Cuddles was very wise and knowledgeable of the world beyond Charlie's room. Unfortunately, Cuddles' head was quite a bit larger than her body, making standing up rather... difficult. And, to Spike and Pinkie at the very least, very amusing. "A pleasure to meet you, Rarity. I also extend the same offer as Bubblegum, and will be more than happy to help whenever I can."

"Thank you kindly, darling. It has been an honor to meet you. All of you." Rarity smiled broadly at all of them. "I am glad that Charlie has you here for her, and I look forward to getting to know you better."

Inwardly, Twilight sighed in relief. This, at least, had gone well. Between an unexpected newcomer to the bed and Spike being... Spike, Twilight did not need any more surprises. Hopefully, the rest of the day would be quiet.

Author's Note

Hey everyone! So, I know it's been a while since I updated The Speeches of Toys, and I'm sorry for that. I've been busy, distracted, slightly Writer's Blocked, and lazy.
That being said, although I had a plan for this chapter, I had, and have, no idea where I was going with the story as a whole. So, after this chapter, I will be putting this story on hiatus.
Please note that I am not cancelling it! I do plan on returning to this story, but probably not for some time.