The sun had long since set, and the moon cast no light tonight. Darkness surrounded the Apple family's farmhouse, suffusing and suffocating like water in a shipwreck, save for the dining room. There and only there, yellow-white light streamed from lamps, illuminating the five residents: four ponies and a dog, seated around a table like a smattering of fall leaves: large red and tiny yellow on one side, mid-sized orange and wrinkled green on the other, with the brown and white dog prowling underhoof, going wherever she thought she could get a treat or a pat. Also illuminated were pans and dishes with a scattering of crumbs, testimony to the recent devouring of another tasty dinner.
At least, three of the ponies thought it had been tasty. Winona, too, had enjoyed what scraps came her way. Big Mac had found the meal bland, though he knew that was no fault of the food's.
"...but I finally talked Rarity into leaving." Applejack adjusted her hat as she finished her tale, the telling of which had dominated dinner's discourse. "The map was right: either one of us alone would've been lost. Only together could we get the job done. Someday I'm gonna have to ask Twilight how it works, once SHE figures it out."
The big red stallion attempted a smile. "Eeeyup."
"So now are you going to tell me what's bothering you?"
"Eee-" Big Mac blinked, taken off guard. "-nope."
Applejack frowned and crossed her forelegs, shifting them low on her chest to avoid catching the braid at the end of her blonde mane. Idly noting she needed a haircut soon, she pressed on. "Look. I'm mighty sorry about missing the Sisterhooves Social. But I don't have to be Rarity to tell that something happened while I was gone. Your smile never reached your eyes once..." She glanced at Big Mac's plate. "...and you ain't gone back for seconds, like you weren't hungry."
He looked off to the side and sighed, "Eeeyup."
She glanced at Granny Smith and Apple Bloom, mind racing down several tracks. Her brother's knack of answering in yes and no had given her practice in figuring out situations with minimal context, but now she had less than usual. "So either of you two gonna tell me what's up, or is it twenty questions time?"
Apple Bloom leaned into Big Mac and hugged, like a tiny marigold attempting to comfort a giant redwood. "He's just mad 'cause he got us disqualified from the social."
Applejack blinked as her trains of thought came together, collided, derailed, walked off, went on strike to protest the sheer absurdity, realized nopony was paying them, built themselves into a giant train-themed mental robot, and collapsed when they could not decide which one would form the head.
Granny Smith pointed at Big Mac with a fork. "He dressed up like a lady, but we all knew. They were willing to let it slide, until he started busting through the obstacles. Even that might've been forgiven, until he picked up little Apple Bloom and carried her over the finish line, instead of waiting for her to run the final distance."
From the wreckage of Applejack's thought process, a red flag emerged and waved for attention.
Apple Bloom shrugged. "It was just for this year. You and I can compete next year as usual...umm, assuming you're not off on another-"
Applejack interrupted with the swift application of forehoof to forehead. "Buck it. Big Mac. There's been something I've been meaning to tell you for a while now, and never got around to it."
Apple Bloom sidled up closer to Big Mac, trying to interpose herself between her brother and her sister. "Now hold on, Applejack. Big Mac's a good brother! He's always around when I need him, and he's so big and strong..."
"Yes, and that's just it." Applejack looked Big Mac in the eyes and took a slow breath. "Big Mac. I...I've been jealous of you for years now."
Big Mac blinked. Apple Bloom tried to process Applejack's answer and briefly forgot to stay standing, toppling over onto Winona, who whimpered a bit at the impact but soon figured this was just some unusual form of petting and so settled down to be Apple Bloom's pillow. Granny Smith allowed herself a small smile of satisfaction.
Applejack held eye contact with her brother, though the bottom of her heart desperately yearned to look away and avoid this topic altogether. "That's it, ain't it? You were getting tired of hearing about your sister the Bearer of the Element of Harmony, your sister the star of the Sisterhooves Social, your sister this your sister that. Am I right?"
Big Mac frowned and replied – in the closest to a growl he ever allowed himself, especially to his own family – "Eeenope."
Applejack sighed and looked down. "Yeah...and I'm lucky to still be here to be heard of." She took off her hat, held it to her chest, and looked up with what she hoped was an apologetic expression. "You want to know another couple words for heroes? Sacrifices. Martyrs."
Big Mac's frown vanished as he sat back up.
"I don't know what I did to get pulled on all these adventures. Wrong place at the wrong time, I guess. Now I'd never trade my friendships for anything, but...even before Twilight came to town, I always figured you'd be the one to take over the farm someday, and...well, I kinda resented you for that, just a bit. But I'm here for my family, so even if I'll never be as big and strong as you are, I'll do what I can to make sure you have a farm to inherit someday. Just..." She looked down and noticed she was wringing her hat into a lump. After taking a moment to unfold it back into a hat shape, she continued, "...there kinda needs to still be an Equestria for the farm to be in. So when I'm called, I gotta go. Missing the social hurt more than usual, but missing planting season, losing good applebucking days, and just not being able to be here for y'all..." Applejack sighed and looked back up at Big Mac. "And you don't have any of those problems."
"Now just hold on a moment," Apple Bloom protested as she stood back up. "You ain't a sacrifice. Martyrs are ponies who DIE, and you ain't died yet! You ain't gonna, neither. You CAN"T die. Equestria needs you. We need you."
Big Mac and Granny Smith shared a glance. Slowly, Big Mac walked around the table, getting to Applejack's side.
Applejack lay her head on the table, winding up at eye level with her little sister. "Dying's something you only do once. I don't wanna do it, but it's the kind of thing that gets done to ponies in my situation. Like...remember that first time the map summoned me? I told you we were in that cell of a cottage overnight? I kinda timeskipped that, and here's why." She closed her eyes, took in a deep breath, and slowly exhaled. "Most of the night, I kept fighting off a thought: that this time, we wouldn't make it out. That was it, I'd gone off to some nowhere town at the edge of the map and you'd never hear from me again. I kept getting...visions, nightmares though I was awake, of the farm falling apart, of you going off to the orphanage with Scootaloo, of Granny Smith dying alone..." The beginnings of tears shimmered in the lamplight along her closed eyelids. "The one thought, the only thought, I had to combat that was Big Mac. I knew, somehow, he'd keep it all together, just like he always does when I'm not here. It ain't the first time I've thought that. Knowing that he's here, knowing that he can take care of you, that's sometimes been the only thing that lets me face what I have to." She smirked. "Heh. Given how fast he's charming the mares, he'll probably be married and have kids before I got any sign of a steady coltfriend."
Apple Bloom blinked. "Err, if you're having problems with nightmares, I'm sure Luna'd be glad to help, given all you've done."
Applejack finally opened her eyes, staring daggers at her sister. "I'm FINE, Apple Bloom. I'll deal with it, just like I have been."
Apple Bloom nodded meekly, while making a mental note to run to the castle and have Spike write an urgent letter to Luna explaining how one of the Bearers needed her help right away, as soon as she had an excuse to slip away.
Sitting up, Applejack continued, "And you know how I like to go sell our wares? Now I've got socialites chatting me up, bla bla Hero of Equestria this bless my foal that oh surely one of the Bearers will give me a discount just because I asked." She rolled her eyes. "I'd hoped, when I put that jewelry back on the Tree of Harmony, that I was done with this hero business. Guess it got branded on my soul or something, 'cause it just don't stop." With a sigh, she looked down.
Apple Bloom blinked and rubbed her eyes. For just a moment, Applejack had looked older than Granny Smith.
"I...am so tired of this," Applejack muttered. She closed her eyes and began falling to one side.
Big Mac caught her almost immediately, placing one hoof on her chest briefly to make sure her heart was still beating.
Apple Bloom blinked. One moment Applejack had been talking, now she was...snoring?
Big Mac gently draped Applejack over his back. "Third time this month. She won't remember it in the morning. Sorry you had to see this one."
Apple Bloom's jaw dropped.
Granny Smith shrugged. "I figured it was something like this." She pulled out a rolled-up sheet of paper. "Been listening at her door at night from time to time. Already got this written up, and I was right on every bit of it. Apple Bloom, be a dear and give this to Spike to send to Luna?"
Big Mac slowly trotted toward the door. "I wanted to be your hero. I never said I was jealous of Applejack."
Apple Bloom just stood there, stunned, disbelieving eyes looking at her brother and sister, then pleading eyes turning on Granny Smith silently trying to make sense of the situation.
Granny Smith looped a leg over Apple Bloom and pulled her in for a hug. "She'll be fine, dear. She's stronger than that. It's...just been gettin' to her, lately."
"But...but..."
"Hush, now." She patted Apple Bloom, long-practiced hooves smoothing out the upset. "She just needs a little more help than she's willin' to admit. Always has. You know that."
Apple Bloom breathed heavily and tried not to cry. "I ain't never seen her just dead faint like that before!"
"Heh. Truth be told, neither've I, but I know one thing: the three reasons she don't just give up and faint dead are right here in this room."
Apple Bloom blinked, looking around, then her mouth formed a silent "oh" as she realized.
Granny Smith smiled and nodded, letting Apple Bloom go. "Equestria needs her. She needs us, and that includes you. Now go deliver that letter."
Apple Bloom put the letter through the loops of the bow in her hair, then looked at Big Mac. "You sure you don't need help getting her to bed?"
Big Mac shifted a bit, balancing Applejack more squarely on his back. "She ain't heavy, she's my sister."
