Discord's Depression

by Baldric Eberhardt

Rating: mature
Tags: Dark, Sad
Length: 3890

Discord becomes depressed once fully coming to terms that he'll never have any true friends, always treated like a monster. Unable to cope with all the pressure, where he will lose his insanity once more, how long will it be until he breaks?

Ever since being captured inside his stone imprisonment from the Mane Six, he finally come to terms that he won't have any true friends in the foreseeable future, where he figures that he'll always be treated as an outcast, a monster. As such. he conforms to a state of depression, one of which he isn't sure if he wants to continue to live in. Once the ponies attempt to reform him, he becomes unable to cope with all the pressure of remaining around their prejudice and harsh treatment from them.

How long will he suffer until he breaks down, back into insanity?

Original photo, with the background removed.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-10-17 02:15:28 UTC

An Unexpected Reformation

As the light radiated from the cracks of the stone, body parts of were shown every new second, as he was being released by the powers that had previously trapped him in his stone imprisonment. Twice. Possibly even more, he couldn't really care to keep count.

Finally released, he broke out and soared into the air, for a split second. Only a few feet off the ground, he then was sent onto the ground, as he gasped for air, coughing in the process. I can't believe she actually released me... He thought as the pain in his lungs slowly wore off. But that still doesn't solve all of my problems... On his knees, he took a glance up from where he was, seeing all six bearers surrounding him, wearing their own individual elements. Along with a young drake that is unfamiliar to him.

Aside from the Element of Kindness, they were all sending him cold, hard, weary glares towards him, sending the message that they don't trust this decision, and would most likely, no definitely send him back to stone, if he mucks up. At least, this is what he could gather. He only observed their body language, for a second as he calculated all of this in his head. There was a lot of hostility thrown his way, a lot of tension in the air. No chance of ever making friends, I suppose. No chance of... well how can I be happy in a place where these five ponies pretty much represent maybe everypony else in Equestria? Other than... the one who isn't? He only glanced at the small yellow pegasi, who was shaking in what he presumed was fear, didn't show any outright signs of hostility. She'll hate me as much as the others. In time. It's always inevitable.

He finally broke the silence after what seemed like excoriating moments towards him, and maybe towards them. "Um... hi?" He sent a unsure smile, along with a paw wave. He hoped they didn't see through him as... what he is now... not what he could do. He hoped he wouldn't have to face as much prejudice and embarrassment as he thought me might. He hoped... an impossible dream that was not likely in the absolute slightest. In fact, he hopes a lot of things that won't ever happen.

Their only response was them staring at me for a good minute. Well this isn't going anywhere. Maybe... acting selfish and ignorant again will get the ball rolling. As much as I don't want to do it, and as much as it will harm... well there wasn't one to begin with, really. Standing up, he let out a fake yawn, stretching his limbs. Well, wobbling his limbs. "You know, it's about time somepony got me out of that prison block." He could hear groaning from all around. He ignored whatever they meant by that action. "What a relief!" He snapped his finger, making the squirrel nearby into a monstrous-looking one, showing off his chaotic ability that he can produce with his magic. The 'squirrel' tore off the branch it was on and began biting it.

All six mares released gasps of shock, while in his head he just sighed. No one, including no pony, can appreciate what I can do. Good or bad. And this wasn't even that bad... as the rest. "What do you think you're doing?!" Twilight scolded him, in a demanding fashion.

Pretending to ignore her, Discord continued 'stretching'. "Nnnnnnnnngh- why, stretching, of course. When you're a creature of chaos, stone bodysuits aren't your typical go-to fashion choice. Nnngh..." He folded his arms/forelegs back behind his head and quickly snapped to pretend it went along with his stretching. A nearby bunny, which was sniffing a flower, was immediately turned in a monstrous bunny as well. It roared and hopped away. This... doesn't seem as much fun as it used to. I guess... things get old real fast... slowly over time. He sighed in his mind, taking a good look at the monstrous bunny and squirrel. Why don't I feel good about this?

"Make that bunny cute again, now!" Pinkie demanded of him, considering what to do here. Conform with what they want... or keep up the ploy. It's the most interesting that that I've done in a while. Why stop it now? I don't see a reason. It'll all be boring anyways...

"Oh..." He sniggered. "He's adorable the way he is." He petted the bunny under its chin as it growled at him. It tried chomping at him, but he pulled his head back. This isn't even close to the most dangerous thing that I've done. But I guess in this day and age, ponies are just too peaceful. "You know what else is adorable? You ponies truly believe that you can reform me..." And then broke off the sentence, unwillingly wanting to finish it. Is it so bad if they can 'reform' me? I mean, considering the state that I'm in, this is all really pointless to me if I don't want to act as I have been. But, I don't want to tell them that. They'll just use it against me, as a sign of weakness, to make fun of me. I don't want that to happen... "And you're putting all your faith into one pony to make it happen." He noted dryly. One pony. *One*. It's like they don't care for their own safety, if I was still as... chaotic as I have been in the past.

But he hadn't realised what he just said sent off red flags in the other ponies' minds. "How'd you know about that?!" Twilight then demanded. A lot of demands from these ponies... like they can take control of my every whim... "You can hear through the stone?!" I wish I couldn't... He looked away from them, for the tiniest of seconds, expressing a depressed look on his face. No, push it back. It's not helpful to think about all that.

"Being turned to stone doesn't keep me from hearing every word Celestia says. Trust me when I say, I know it too well." Everypony but Twilight and Fluttershy brushed it off as some sort of lie, or just didn't care about his reasoning. The two, however, seemed taken aback by what he said. It's like they're thinking. He scoffed that thought off. "Although I admit it makes rolling my eyes a challenge." He muttered under his breath. As if.

"Well, unless you want us to turn you back to stone, you'll zap those animals back the way they were, pronto!" Twilight warned me, which wasn't met with a response at first. Threatening me to be sent back to... my own personal Tartarus... for turning those harmless animals into slightly less harmless animals. He groaned in his mind. I guess this is a trend I have to put up with.

"And risk disappointing your precious princess?" He retorted, looking at Twilight with an evil smile. But then the smile faltered, as he thought further about the princes...

"Try us, 'Dip-cord'!" Rainbow Dash provoked him, visibly ignoring what she had said, but still felt hurt inside. Even if it was a little insult that didn't have much behind it... They still hurt.

"You think you can treat poor defenceless animals like that and get away with it?!" Fluttershy pointed out, flying towards Discord in order to scold him face-to-face. He didn't stare away from her gaze. If anything, he kept his eyes firmly on hers. These ponies have issues. Quite a number of them. And it's something that I really have to deal with. Apparently mentioning the princess triggers them in a way. As well as 'harming' defenceless animals... or doing something with my magic. I mean, the shyest pony that I've ever seen is currently in my face because of this. *Fluttershy*! This... I can't put up with this. They are only going to make me live in... some sort of fear.

"You go, Fluttershy!" Rainbow cheered on, making me want to hate her even more, even though I don't want to hate her.

"You'd best watch your step, buster, or I'll give you the Stare!" He felt any type of emotion within in, suddenly die away, left with nothing but the feeling of emptiness inside. They really don't trust me. They are only looking for ways to trap me back again, because they are 'afraid' of what I might do. If I act nice, they still wouldn't trust me. If I act mopey and genuinely hurt, they'll pass it off as me just overacting. As he stared long and hard into the bulging eyes of Fluttershy, not feeling scared but hurt, he slowly closed his eyes. And if they really want me gone, they will somehow convince Celestia that I need to be imprisoned again. And knowing her, and these six, it won't be long before that happens. And I do not want to screw the only chance I have and actually being free, within the confinement of a set of rules, I suppose. Which means... having to either deal with suffering under these mares... or suffering under the stone rock of my own loneliness...

There was silence in the air, as everypony waited for Discord's next move. He sighed, coming to a conclusion that he wasn't happy with. Not that he had a choice. "Fine." He said, snapped his claws, turning the monstrous animals back to being as cute as they were before. There was a pause as the ponies processed his decision, which then lead to Rainbow Dash whooping in the air, joyful at Fluttershy for getting Discord to do what they said. At least, this is what he could gather. He turned away from the rest of them, looking at the castle in the distance, locked into the side of the steep and tall mountain. A sudden dread spread across his face. "This is my life now..." He muttered quietly as he could, with traces of sadness in his voice. "My life now..."

Even as he stared away from the glares of the mares, he could tell they still wanted him gone, and for good. He didn't turn back to face them, until he could wipe the sadness off of his face. "Well, it looks like I know where I'll be crashing while I'm being 'reformed'." He then looked at Fluttershy. "Would... you care to show me the way?" He gestured towards no particular direction, catching her off guard.

She stuttered for a moment, the others staring at me even more intently than they already were. "U-uh, y-yeah. Come on, Discord. I'll get you nice and cozy at the cottage!" Good luck with that... He thought to himself, noticing how much eyes he really had on him. More than just the lives of the mares who could ruin any sort of freedom he has, if any at all. He could noticed a few more other ponies, inhabitants of this village, eyeing him. First in shock, followed by a short time of fear, before turning into anger. Not any kind of anger. The type of anger that wants to kill you. At least, from the expressions he was given. Including the ones from the other five, aside from Pinkie who seemed to calm down, were all eyeing him even more intently and viciously than the others. They want me dead.

"You better not hurt her." Applejack warned me, ready to buck me to next week, even if physically she don't do that much damage to me. By herself. I opened my mouth to respond, before slowly closing it, and turning my head towards the ground. If I answer, they will disbelieve me no matter what, and I think saying 'trust me' in any sentence won't help. And really saying anything will make matters worse. So the only solution I have is to remain silent... and just take her words in. Whatever is the best outcome, and doesn't make me imprisoned again. Whatever it takes...

I wish they aren't that harsh against me.

A Fearful Analyzation

I had never really been inside of Fluttershy's home. He took a look around the new place he was residing in. It all seems very... natural, to put it lightly. Very neat as well. Very... unchaotic. His mood dropped a little, but he kept his demeanour to act like he didn't care. Or notice. He walked towards the couch, and began stretching his limbs again. Being in stone for another year... He grunted. Really does things that it... He shuddered, not wanting to finish that thought. Slowly, he planted himself on the couch, noticing how soft it was. He noticed that this didn't feel uncomfortable. He was free to move his limbs, after all. Why does this seem all new to me? I mean, I know what a couch is. I've sat in one before... He mind went blank, trying to find a memory where he sat on a couch, or anything as soft as this. Nothing came to mind. He felt a little depressed at this. He gave out a sigh, resting his head on his lion paw. Deep in thought, trying to find something resembling this soft... had it been so long?

Twilight noticed his behaviour, but didn't say anything. She figured he would be as he usually was, chaotic, ignoring any sort of respect towards... anypony really, and having fun in his own odd way... but this? This didn't seem like him. She noticed how he slowly sat down on the couch, and looked surprised. Maybe even happy. But any smile he had quickly faltered, as he turned into a state of deep thought. What could he be thinking about? Ways to escape out of here? No... he would be look around for any sort of opportunity... then what? She wanted to inquire, but decided against it. Knowing this is Discord, he won't be as cooperative as he should be. But then again... he doesn't seem like the 'chaotic-type' right now. Possibly acting really well. Possibly...

Fluttershy, however, didn't notice Discord's behaviour. Instead, she saw her pet bunny, Angel, eyeing Discord intently. "Oh, you don't mind giving up your favourite spot on the couch, now do you, Angel bunny?" Quickly jumping in shock at the question, Angel immediately disagreed with her, shaking his head viciously. He dashed over to Discord, pulling on his dragon leg, wanting to remove him from the couch.

Discord didn't notice him at first, but then looked towards the source of the poking. He observed the annoyed bunny. For a moment, he had the urge to merely give a smile at the struggle that the bunny is having. Wants me to move from his spot, I presume. But then, he had a second thought. But this must be Fluttershy's pet... and if I get in good with her... she might be the closest thing I have to a friend... but she'll hate me in the end anyways, so what's the point? He looked at the bunny again. "I'm sorry, do you want to sit here?" The bunny sent back a glare, before nodding in a demanding fashion. Discord sighed. Getting bullied by a bunny. This must be a new low... He went back to thinking. No. No it isn't. Close. But... He sighed. There isn't any point in the end. They're all going to die, and I'll live on in my own loneliness. Not even Celestia will ever take me back, or Luna ever forgiving me... like that it's even possible after I got imprisoned again a year ago. He shuffled over on the couch, acting irritated. "There, happy now?" His only response was the bunny sitting on his spot, and falling asleep. Discord just groaned.

"Oh, I'm sorry about Angel. Are you alright?" Fluttershy asked him, in a concerning manner.

"How considerate. Thank you, Fluttershy, I am fine." He then looked away from her gaze. If only your friends could be as considerate... A wish that won't ever happen. So what's the point of trying to change it. Remember, don't piss them off in any way, and you... won't be locked up again.

Rainbow Dash still, quite obviously, was still very sceptical. "I don't know about you. Do you really want him to live here, Fluttershy? I mean, he's only going to drive a wedge between us like he always does!" I am aware of your hatred towards me, Rainbow. Trust me when I don't say, I have no intention of that again. In fact, I want the opposite... if that'll ever happen. Which right now, is an impossibility. You won't give me a chance, not right now, so I'm not going to bother. It would be better if you could please leave me Rainbow, to my... myself.

It would be even better if I could say this to you. "Yeah, sure. Keep believing that. Trust..." He cut himself off, realising that wouldn't work. He remained quiet, staring at the floor once more as Rainbow kept her eyes on him, intently, along with the others, observing from the entrance area.

"We'll be outside." Twilight assured Fluttershy, before they had their private conversation, one so tempting to listen into. But it wouldn't matter in the endgame, anyways I'm still going to perish... in stone. Maybe death, though I highly doubt the Elements have that amount of power... He shuddering thinking about it. Maybe they do... Twilight then have her final goodbye, giving another look at the now-fearful Discord, who was hiding it well, as she and the rest of them walked out of the house, leaving a chaotic figure and a buttery pegasi to themselves, in the comfort of her animal home. He still wasn't sure what to think of it. So he didn't. And became bored again... followed by mild-depression, with dark thoughts to ponder.

They both remained silent for a number of moments, hearing the chattering from among the other animals. She analysed him, trying to find the right way to proceed things. Also, to figure out why... why he hasn't acted as... what he would say in his own words, 'chaotic' as usual. Maybe he feels bad about... it. About something, perhaps... But she decided not to enquire, seeing how it wouldn't be the way to get off to a good start. Or really anything resembling a positive start.

"So, um, Discord..." She started off meekly, shuddering in slight fear of what he might say or do. He didn't acknowledge her. "How does the p-place feel?"

He shrugged. "Alright..." And went back to being silent again. She pondered what he could be thinking about again, but nothing came to mind. Maybe he is hiding something... something we don't want to know...

Staring off into oblivion, he started to wonder about the future, about what might happen. Will they come back for him? Well, he left them, but it wasn't out of the question. He highly doubt they would come back. He wondered if he was going to get trapped into stone again... what might happen. I might be driven insane again, though aren't I insane now? There was no chuckle. I guess not... thinking about it, what's the point of this 'reformation' ritual again? He blinked. Oh yeah... so they will get off my case of being the any bit suspicious... if I wasn't before.

"Discord? Oh, are you there? Listen, Discord, I just want to make sure you know that if there's anything I can do to– uh, umm, are you eating... paper?" He froze at her words, realizing that in fact, he was eating paper. Where did this come from? Did I... maybe this... I have no clue. Does it even matter?

"Yes, I suppose I am." Teleporting whatever was left away, he suddenly stood up from his position, cracking his spine back into place. I might as well go for a walk... in a hostile land. There really isn't anything to do while... sitting on a couch with... nothing going on. But, what if I do something wrong, and I et screwed over... and I'm going back into stone... Feeling fear again, he sat back down. But not without hearing the conversation from outside, even if a little faintly. Obviously I'm not welcomed here, yet I assume I'm not allowed to go anywhere else. Go figure. Maybe I should talk with Fluttershy... to stay on her good side. Her 'bad' side, entirely the stare, is terrifying. But nothing to bad to deal with. At least she isn't trying to be intimidating in any way. Not like the others...

Here's something to think about. The others. First off, Twilight. I think all she wants to know is what my intentions are. Or if she just wants to order me around to do her bidding. Whatever the case may be, I don't think she wants me turned back, but only if necessary. She doesn't hate me, necessarily... she doesn't exactly like me either. Considering 'order' isn't in my nature, or something I told them. Keep believing that...

Rarity and Pinkie are unknown cases of mine, but I think the latter can tolerate me more than the former, but I do not know. Nor do I really care. All she is going to do is criticize me about the way I look, or about the cleaning supplies that I might one day prank her... or something about that rock. Pinkie... would probably only want to party all the time... with everypony but me. I need to hang around them a bit more to find out.

And yet, the last two... there isn't any doubt that they both hate my guts. They both want me dead, more than they want me gone. Even if it's basically the same thing. They won't be the least forgiving... any time soon. Not that I can foresee, anyway. They'll always insult me whenever they get the chance (or just one of them), they'll probably also force me to be a servant, catering to their every whim. Like a slave... like a slave... is that how I'm going to be treated here? No. No, that can't be true. It can't. I-I mean, I can take Fluttershy for instance... she doesn't want to treat me like a slave... she's been nice, for the most part. Maybe it's all a mask, all a ploy, so that they can lure me in when it's too late to back out... is that how I'm going to be treated... like a slave...

These ponies aren't the chaotic type, by the stretch of their imagination (which really isn't that far, to be honest). They can't be that cruel to me... unlike those in the far, far past, long ago... no no no, I refuse to believe that this will ever happen... but while I'm denying it's existence, I'm being forced around to commit acts I don't want to commit...

But I'll always be alone, afraid in my own little, insignificant world... these ponies completely oblivious to what I have to go through... lonely, friendless... never having any friends in the future... never having anyone to talk to about my problems... never getting her back... I wish many thing that won't ever happen...

How did I fall this far?