How Ponyville Ceased To Exist
Twilight Had A Song Stuck In Her Head
It all started because Twilight had a song stuck in her head.
While she happily trotted down the main avenue of Ponyville on her way to her library, she frequently hummed the melody, unable to get the hypnotic lyrics out of her head. Finally, she happened to be passing through the hustle and bustle of a crowd of busy ponies in the market until Twilight started singing the song to herself a little louder than she meant to.
“Is this the real life?” She stopped dead and blushed.
Everypony in the market had fallen to a dead silence and stood staring at her. Twilight tried to back away slowly until she felt somepony tap her shoulder from behind. She turned to find Rainbow Dash grinning deviously.
“Is this just fantasy?” she sung back. Twilight wasn’t sure whether she heard correctly.
“Caught in a landslide…” she sung cautiously.
“No escape from reality,” sung Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash in harmony. Twilight smiled sheepishly, but she still felt quite embarrassed. Just then, Applejack trotted up and put a friendly hoof on her shoulder.
“Listen, sugarcube.” She began, “Just open your eyes…” Rarity and Pinkie Pie joined in.
“Look up to the skies and see…” In the pause, the mane six surrounded Twilight to provide vocal harmony while she continued the lyrics. However, Big Mac stepped forth from the crowd and belted out the song in a dazzling voice.
“I’m just a poor boy! I need no sympathy, cause I’m…” Just then, the Cutie Mark Crusaders formed a trio and took over.
“Easy come, easy go. Little high, little low.” That was when all of Ponyville joined in.
“ANY WAY THE WIND BLOWS, DOSENT REALLY MATTER TO ME…”
Silence. Twilight continued.
“To me…” All of a sudden, Spike hopped up on a piano nearby and started to play the song himself. Bon-Bon leaned over to Lyra and whispered.
“You’re bucking kidding me right?”
“Shut up and sing the song.” She replied. All of Ponyville joined and held up lighters in their hooves as they swayed back and forth as they sang.
“Mama… Just killed a mare…” As the town progressed through the chorus, they noticed colored strobe lights flashing and fog-machine smoke that came from seemingly nowhere as they approached the end of the part.
“I don’t wanna die. Sometimes I wish I’d never been born at all.” Ponyville grew quiet again as the sun dipped below the hills, bringing in the night. The lights became brighter and the smoke became thicker as Rainbow Dash was strumming an epic guitar solo. Afterwards, the lights abruptly faded as Spike started to play staccato chords. Meanwhile, Twilight and the Cutie Mark Crusaders stepped up in front of everypony as a dark set of figures that was only lit from the back so nopony could recognize them.
“I see a little silhouetto of a mare!”
“Scaramouch! Scaramouch! Will you do the Fandango?” That was when all of Ponyville joined in again and thundered the lyrics as Rainbow Dash flew above and kicked a storm cloud, producing…
“THUNDERBOLTS AND LIGHTNING! VERY VERY FRIGHTENING ME!” Big Mac and Sweetie Bell faced each other:
“Galileo!”
“Galileo!”
“Galileo!”
“Galileo!”
“Galileo! Figaro!” The quartet of Twilight and the CMC continued.
“Magnifico-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!”
“I’m just a poor boy, nopony loves me!”
“HE’S JUST A POOR BOY FROM A POOR FAMILY! SPARE HIM HIS LIFE FROM THIS MONSTROSITY!”
“Easy come! Easy go! Will you let me go?”
“BISMILAH! NO! WE WILL NOT LET YOU GO!”
“Let him go!”
“BISMILAH! WE WILL NOT LET YOU GO!”
“Let him go!”
“BISMILAH! WE WILL NOT LET YOU GO!”
“Let me go!”
“WILL NOT LET YOU GO!”
“Let me go!”
“NEVER LET YOU GO!”
“Let me go!”
“NEVER LET YOU GO!”
“Let me go-oh-oh-oh-oh!”
“NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!”
“Oh Mama Mia, Mama Mia!”
“MAMA MIA LET ME GO!”
“Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me.”
“For Me!”
“FOR MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”
At that point, the stage flared up again in a spectacular light show illuminating Rainbow Dash on guitar, Pinkie Pie on drums, and Octavia on bass belting out an equally epic instrumental riff. All the while everypony in town had failed to notice that the level of awesomeness due to the circumstances was now twenty percent over critical levels. Buildings had begun to spontaneously combust and explode from the sheer epicness that you probably can’t even imagine. As she shredded her guitar with her wings unfolded, Rainbow Dash sung with her eyes closed in passionate concentration.
“So you think you can stop me and spit in my eye?!”
“So you think you can love me and leave me to die?! Oh baby, can’t do this to me, baby!”
“Just gotta get out! Just gotta get right out of here!”
As the pure awesomeness of the situation continued to unfold, more and more building continued to explode from an overexposure. As the song quieted down, structures burned subtly, but nopony cared. The only thing that mattered was the moment. The fog faded out, revealing Rarity lying on top of Spike’s piano in a prima-donna fashion, ready to serenade the crowd with her voice.
However, Trixie came out of nowhere and shoved her off, taking her place just in time to sing the finale.
“Nothing really matters… Anyone can see. Nothing really matters… Nothing really matters…”
A final, brief pause.
“To TRIXIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”
All the lights in Ponyville were now extinguished, leaving the stage as the only source of light that the ponies now gathered to with their forelegs wrapped around each other, swaying to the songs ending as Rainbow Dash strummed the last few chords. The stage blacked out with the final lyrics sung quietly by everypony.
“Any way the wind blows…”
With the crash of gong, the entirety of the town erupted in an explosion the size of that given by a fission bomb simply because everything about what had happened was just that awesome. Ponyville was now wiped off the face of the earth, and down in the square, everypony stood covered with ash and soot as they opened their eyes awkwardly like cartoon characters trying to overcome the shock of the explosion.
Twilight looked at the destruction around her and sighed. Sure, Ponyville could easily be rebuilt, but still, this was all her fault for getting that song stuck in her head. She turned to her friends who gathered around her, all looking like they had just thought inside the chimney.
“You alright girls?” She asked despondently.
“Yeah, we’re fine, ah’ guess.” Replied Applejack for the whole group, trying to keep their spirits up. “Besides, it was all fun right?”
“Buck yeah!” shouted Rainbow Dash. “Everything was SO…AWSOME!”
“Darling, you mustn’t blame yourself, you know. Somepony was going to end up singing it sooner or later.” Said Rarity. Twilight turned away and dejectedly sighed again.
“Still, I TOLD Princess Celestia bringing Freddie Mercury to Equestria was a bad idea.”
