--the Elements of Alarmony--
-Moving to Ponyville-
It was a bright and sunny day in the town of Ponyville when Tracy arrived at the Ponyville Inn. She had a long day ahead of her. About 30 feet too long by her estimates. After checking in and getting settled in her room the intrepid photofilly began prepping herself for the long week ahead of her. There were her pens and notepads for jotting down notes for the upcoming interviews. She also checked over her Hooferton camera, which she had modified to meet her various needs. For instance, she had retrofitted a specialized lense over the flashbulb compartment so that she could increase and decrease its intensity. She also had low light filters for when she needed to take stealthy photos during night excursions. There was also a special squeeze trigger so she could take pictures with her mouth should her hooves be full. Being a Pegasus pony did allow her to use her hooves to operate the camera while she was airborne but sometimes she needed to be on the ground for the best shots. Most cameras in Equestria were set to flash at regular or even random intervals forcing the photographer to pray that they had the camera pointed in the right direction when the flash went off. Otherwise it would be some 24 snapshots of the ground and one incriminating shot of a porpoise hugging a bear but it would be so obscured that somepony might mistake it for slander against oversized beavers.
Dumping a notepad and pen in her hat and grabbing her trusty camera the intrepid photofilly stepped out onto her room's balcony and took to the air. On the way back into town she passed by two mares sitting on a park bench. One was on her haunches looking angrily at the other who was slouching on her back.
"Lyra, why can't you sit like a normal pony?" asked the sitting pony with a purple and pink mane to the slouching mint green unicorn.
"Why can't you have a more consistent voice, Bon-Bon?" retorted the unicorn, apparently determined to maintain her spot on the park bench even if it crippled her for life.
"Touché," was the only thing the one called Bon-Bon could say, this time with a wonkier voice comparable to ground up rocks.
"Excuse me," Tracy said to the two as she hovered nearby, "Do you know where I can find the bearers of the Elements of Harmony?"
"Who are they?" asked Bon-Bon
"You don't know who the ponies who saved Equestria are?" Tracy asked, surprised. Her surprise was short lived, though, as the ponies of Equestria were known for being notoriously thick.
"Oh, you mean Twilight Sparkle and her friends?" asked Lyra.
"Yeah, those ponies," confirmed Tracy.
"At this time of the week they can usually be found at the park on the other side of town." Lyra pointed a hoof towards a sign that read, "To 'the Park on the Other Side of Town'".
"Thanks!"
"Pheh, outsider," snorted Bon-Bon as Tracy flew off towards the park on the other side of town. Looking back at her slouching friend she asked, "Now, where were we?"
"I can't remember," answered Lyra, "Wanna cuddle?"
Bon-Bon thought for a moment before shrugging.
"Sure, why not?"
And for the next few hours Bon-Bon and Lyra cuddled on that park bench...and it was adorable! ~~So Suck~~-~~It anti~~-~~LyraxBonBon fans!~~ >:D
-an Interview with the Elements-
Tracy flew towards the Ponyville Park, nearly befriending a wall-eyed grey mare when they almost collided. Luckily, Tracy was an accomplished flier and managed to avoid a friendly disaster. She continued on past Ponyville's bizarrely circular town square where she could see a number of ponies going about their daily lives. Each one probably had a story to tell but for right now, Tracy focused on her current assignment: the Elements of Harmony.
Despite being referred to as "the Park on the Other Side of Town" on one side of town, the locals paradoxically continued to refer to it as "the Park on the Other Side of Town" even if they were already there. Once she finally made it to the park, Tracy could see six ponies playing with their pets in non-sexual ways. From her research she knew that the purple unicorn was Twilight Sparkle, the white unicorn with the stylish purple mane was Rarity, the orange earth pony wearing an adorable cowboy hat was Applejack, the yellow pegasus pony with the pink mane was Fluttershy, the hyper pink earth pony was Pinkie Pie, and that the cyan blue pegasus pony with the rainbow mane was Rainbow Dash. She also knew that Twilight Sparkle was the personal protégé of Princess Celestia, through whom Tracy could arrange a royal interview.
The moment Tracy landed, she was clobbered by a rubber ball Applejack had thrown for her dog, Winona.
"Oops, sorry about that," apologized the cowponygirl as the Winonapetdog playfully retrieved the bouncyroundball.
"That's alright," said Tracy, rubbing her badlybumpedhead.
"Ooh, are you're here to take our pictures? Huh huh huh?" asked Pinkie Pie jumping in front of the photofilly when she spotted her camera.
"It was on my list of things to do, which includes picking up some groceries and the laundry," answered the photofilly.
"As long as you get my good side," said Rarity, brushing her mane with a hoof. Which hoof didn't matter. It could have been Applejack's back left hoof for all Tracy knew.
"Oh my, I recognize you!" Fluttershy softly exclaimed when she saw Tracy, "You were hounding me when Photofinish made me famous for having...da magicks." The yellow pegasus pulled off Photofinish's signature pose with ease before retracting out of embarrassment. Granted it wasn't a hard pose to pulled off, especially with Fluttershy's natural grace and beauty. At least one magazine had even listed her amongst some of the hottest mares in Equestrian beaten only by Princess Celestia and Luna. Princess Cadence came in a close fourth, tying with Queen Chrysalis and Braeburn.
"Oh, that," Tracy smiled awkwardly, "I was just trying to get some photos for my editor."
"Is that so?" asked Rainbow Dash, suspicious of any paparazzi ponies.
Tracy gave a nervous smile; things weren't going to plan.
"Actually, I just wanted to ask you all a few questions concerning your Elements of Harmony," Tracy finally managed to say.
"Why?" Rainbow Dash asked, "Are you planning on digging up some dirt about us?" Tracy shied away from Dash's glaring eye.
"Well, yes and no," answered the photofilly. "I had read a book in the Canterlot Library that said that each bearer was required to make some sort of sacrifice. I talked with my editor about looking into the matter and he approved saying that it would make for good reading."
"Sacrifice?" asked Pinkie Pie, looking concerned.
"That's how the book put it," Tracy said in an attempt to keep the momentum of the conversation going, "You ponies probably have a different term for it."
"I think you're looking at it the wrong way," said Twilight, "We don't really have to give up something to best represent our elements."
"You mean you don't need to give anything in exchange?"
"What she is saying is that we each needed to adopt a lifestyle that would allow us to best represent our Element," said Applejack.
"I take it these lifestyles aren't exactly to your liking?"
"Not exactly," said Applejack, "it may have been difficult at first but we had each other to help us through the hard..."
"And sexy!" Pinkie Pie threw in.
"...times." Applejack completed completely straight faced.
"Like when I was participating in the Best Young Fliers competition," said Rainbow Dash, "They were there to help me through. Even if SOME got a little carried away." Rainbow Dash glanced at Rarity, who merely blushed.
"I was just following my dreams," said the white unicorn, drawing on the ground with a hoof. The white unicorn had joined the Best Young Fliers competition on whim when somepony suggested she enter because of the magically created butterfly wings Twilight Sparkle had given her. Unfortunately, Rarity got too close to the sun and her brittle wings burned off.
"I remember that," chuckled Tracy, "Classic. We at the editor's office had a good laugh. Anyway, how exactly does that apply to your elements?"
"You would probably need to speak with each of us individually," suggested Twilight, "Our lifestyles are so varied that you could never lump them together in a single category."
"There's no way you could get them together at a singles bar?"
"Only on off days," said Applejack.
"If that's the way you want it then I will speak with you individually," said Tracy, "So who would like to go first?"
"I guess I will," said Twilight. She turned to the others and said, "You girls can continue playing with your pets in non-sexual ways. I'll let you know when the next pony will be needed."
The other five nodded and returned to playing with their pets, though Owlowicious stayed perched on Twilight's back. She would make a great coffee table, Tracy thought to herself.
-a Magical Interview-
"So where would you like me to start?" Twilight asked Tracy.
"Tell me about the lifestyle you needed to adopt and how it has affected your way of living," said Tracy, pulling a notepad and pen from her hat. Since she had no magic to levitate her stuff with, the photofilly had to sit on her haunches using her hooves to hold the pad and write with the pen firmly in her mouth. And it's adorable! XD
"Well, since my element is magic and magic is friendship," began Twilight, "I obviously had to start making new friends. And being the socially retarded reject that I am it was difficult, to say the least."
"You seem to have coped quite well."
"However, I couldn't just make any kind of friendship. They had to be 'special' friendships."
"Even more special than your friendships with the other bearers of the elements?"
"No, not THAT special," said Twilight, a little taken aback, "Fillies and colts are too young for that sort of thing."
Tracy contemplated the meaning of that for a moment before asking, "Fillies and Colts?"
"I help little fillies and colts with their school work."
"At the same time?"
"No, individually," corrected Twilight, "it makes planning a little easier when I only need to see one friend at a time."
"In what way do you do that?"
"It's hard to explain," said Twilight, blushing slightly, "You would have to see to understand."
"Would it be best if we scheduled another interview tomorrow at the Ponyville Library?" Tracy asked.
"That would definitely make my explanations a little easier," agreed Twilight, "I'll have Owlowicious clear my schedule."
"One other thing," Tracy asked, this time out of curiosity, "why are you wearing a dog collar?"
"It's for when I finally qualify to be Rainbow Dash's pet," answered Twilight softly, a blush appearing on her cheeks.
"I see," noted Tracy, "Well, thank you for your time."
"It was my pleasure," said Twilight with a smile, "Who would you like to interview next?"
"Rarity is next on my list," answered Tracy.
"I'll let her know."
Tracy cleared off her notes as Twilight headed back over to her friends and told Rarity it was her turn.
-a Generous Interview-
"So what can you tell me about your Element?" Tracy asked the fashionable unicorn.
"Well, being the most generous pony in Ponyville does have its pros and cons," said Rarity.
"Can you list off the pros first?"
"Of course, my dear," Rarity said, "I get special benefits due to the amount of charity I provide to various clients, like the spa trips and cost reductions to shipping and handling."
"How does that work?"
"Think of it as a barter system," answered Rarity, "I give something of mine to them and they give me something in return."
"That seems more like practical business planning," noted Tracy, "is there something more that you can elaborate on?"
"In fact, there is," said Rarity, giving a sigh, "It's not really an equal trade off since I'm giving more than I get in return."
"Do you think you could go into saucier details?"
"For that, I would need more time to explain," said Rarity, "Perhaps we could meet up at the spa later this week for a more...intimate discussion? Don't worry, I'll pay for everything."
"If that's how you want it," said Tracy. She could sense the fashionista had trendy plans for her but she would have to put up with them if she wanted to get all the facts. "Well, thanks for your time."
"Not a problem."
"Could you get Applejack for me?" Tracy asked.
"Definitely," Rarity headed back towards the other girls and informed Applejack that it was her turn.
-an Honest Interview-
"So what can you say about your element?" Tracy asked cowgirlponything.
"Well, as the Element of Honesty I have to be truthful," said Applejack.
"Care to elaborate?"
"As in?"
"Did you need to pick up a lifestyle or hobby that you would most likely not want to be a part of but now must answer for if somepony was to ask?"
"Oh," said Applejack, "I wouldn't say that I changed my life all that much .... haven't treated my farm animals all that well. Granted I've never really treated them all that well in the first place."
"What do you mean by 'all that well'?" Tracy asked, "have you set strict guidelines and curfews for them that they must follow?"
"It depends really," answered Applejack, "if they're compliant then we treat them nicely, if not we put them through a special program to help them understand their place on the Apple Farm. For those who refuse to cooperate at all we take 'em out back and shoot 'em."
"Wouldn't you say that's cruel and unnecessary?"
"Of course I would!" Applejack said with a smile, "Remember, I'm not the Element of Kindness."
"That is very true," noted Tracy. After brief pause, she continued, "How has this new lifestyle effected you and your family?"
"Big Macintosh and Granny Smith were rather hesitant but Applebloom picked up on the lifestyle rather quickly. Almost too quickly..."
"Care to explain?"
"Well..." Applejack started fidgeting, "she can get rather enthusiastic when it comes to putting critters in their place."
"In what way does she show her enthusiasm?"
"The silly filly likes to go all dominatrix on the unwitting critters," said Applejack, with a small smile, "she even asked Rarity to design her a cute little dominatrix outfit."
"That sounds rather adorable," admitted Tracy. She was never really into the whole BDSM thing, mostly due to her aversion to pain and humiliation. But Applebloom was a filly and the mental image of her in a tight leather getup with a whip held in her teeth was too cute to pass up.
"But I digress," said Applejack, snapping Tracy back to reality, "Life hasn't had to change too much for the Apple Family."
"If you say so," noted Tracy, "By the way, I've already asked the Twilight and Rarity for a one on one interview later this week. Do you think you could spare a day for me to visit your farm?"
"Certainly, just watch out for Applebloom," warned Applejack, "Ever since her disaster as a freelance journalist, she's grown quite weary of anypony associated with the news."
"I'll keep that in mind."
-a Kinder Interview-
"So tell me about your element," Tracy said to Fluttershy when it was her turn.
"Well, I have to be kind to other ponies," answered the shy Pegasus pony.
"Do you think you could be a little more specific?"
"Umm...I don't think I can do this," whimpered Fluttershy.
"No need to hurry," reassured Tracy.
"If you must know, I have to invite the most troubled ponies in Ponyville to my cottage every week," answered Fluttershy, "It can get really trying at times."
"How exactly do you cope with the stress?"
"I usually cook up a nice brew that I drink to help calm my nerves."
"Do you cook up a brew for your guests as well?"
"Only if they become too much of a hassle." said Fluttershy.
"What exactly do you mean by 'too much of a hassle'?"
"Some ponies are just plain mean and need special attention before I can even begin giving them my hospitality."
"And what exactly do you mean by 'special attention'?" Now this conversation was getting somewhere.
"If a pony comes in drunk or is behaving in a truly unruly manner I have to have my animal friends restrain them during which I can administer the treatment as needed."
"Would it be possible for me to see one of your sessions?" Tracy asked.
"It would be my pleasure to have you over," said Fluttershy, "As long as you stay away from my shed out back."
"Your shed?" Tracy asked, now curious.
"It's for...the ponies who need my care the most," said Fluttershy, obviously choosing her words carefully.
"So you take care of terminally ill ponies as well, is that it?"
"Oh no! Some of the ponies I watch over are perfectly healthy," Fluttershy quickly said, "They just don't have the right...mental capacity to live amongst normal ponies."
"So these would be your extreme cases?" Tracy asked.
"I guess you could say that."
"Well, that's all the questions I have for now." Tracy noted Fluttershy relax a bit, now that the interrogation was over.
"It was a pleasure," said Fluttershy, forcing a weak smile.
-a Laughable Interview-
"Ms. Pinkamina Diane Pie," Tracy started when it was the pink Earth pony's turn, "What do you have to say about..."
"What ever it is, I did not do it!" interrupted Pinkie.
"Erm, I was just going to ask you about your element."
"Oh..." The pink earth pony's face flushed with red with embarrassment. "Well, it works like this: I have to force myself to laugh at the problems I come across, like that one time a customer came in and told me my sweets gave him diabetes. Type 2 diabetes to be exact." Pinkie Pie gave a soft giggle at the memory. Tracy had the feeling that Pinkie Pie was suffering from either broken memory or a broken personality.
"Wouldn't you say that's a tad cruel?" asked Tracy, trying to shake off Gummy, who had clamped onto her cli...err...back left leg.
"No," said Pinkie Pie, "because my laughter has to be shared with others meaning other ponies must be able to laugh with me."
"So the other pony left a happy customer?"
"Pretty much," said Pinkie Pie, "I gave him some free donuts as a gift!"
"Wouldn't that have just exacerbated his problem?" Tracy asked, quite aware of how bad a sugar high was for a pony with diabetes.
"It probably did, now that I think about it," said Pinkie Pie. "But he at least died happy."
"How would you know that?"
"Because I was there," answered Pinkie Pie, giving a soft sigh.
"Would you care to elaborate?" Tracy asked.
"Sorry, I gave him my Pinkie Pie Swear not to talk about it to anyone," said Pinkie Pie, holding up a pink hoof as a sign of her oath.
"I see," said Tracy Flash. She could tell she was getting anywhere and figured it would be best to save the more personal questions for later.
"Would you be willing to have a more in depth interview sometime this week?" the photofilly asked.
"I'd be happy too!" Pinkie replied with a smile, "I'll even throw you a party while you're there!"
"You must have a lot of fun throwing these parties."
"You bet your cute little flank I do!"
"Well, it was a pleasure talking to you, Ms. Pinkamina. Hopefully we can get a little bit more in depth later this week."
"(^_^)," emoted Pinkie Pie.
-a Loyal Interview-
"Ms. Rainbow Dash," Tracy asked the multi-colored Pegasus pony when it was her turn to be interviewed, "what can you say about your element and what sort of sacrifice you've had to make."
"Well, each morning, I have to give an offering to Tank or else he won't get fed," answered Rainbow Dash. "You know how it is with these creatures being the hungry little buggers they are."
"Just the facts, ma'am."
"Ah, right."
"So what exactly does this have to do with your Element of Loyalty?"
"Oh, that didn't have anything to do with that," said Rainbow Dash, "Unless you call putting up with his sluggishness a sign of loyalty."
"So what sort of sacrifice have you made?"
"It wasn't so much a sacrifice as I had to take on more responsibilities," explained Rainbow Dash, "This included managing various parts of my uncle's business in the Rainbow Factory."
Tracy had heard many stories and rumors about the Rainbow Factory, many of which she ignored.
"What exactly goes on in the Rainbow Factory?"
"All I can say is that its a place where fears and horrors come true and not a single soul gets through."
Tracy had to think about that one for moment. She never expected a pony like Rainbow Dash could be so cryptic. But that was half the fun of the investigative journalism industry: Finding out things about the secrets seemingly normal ponies kept hidden away.
"Is it true you tried to join the Warthogs School of Aeriel Combat?" Tracy asked, switching gears.
"That was a LONG time ago," answered Rainbow Dash, "before I knew about the Wonderbolts."
"Why did you not try and pursue that route?" Tracy asked. She had always been fascinated with the Warthogs. They were amongst the most rugged Pegasi in all of Equestria. She had heard stories of Warthogs smashing through brick walls and carrying on with their missions like it was nothing.
"At the time I was too young," explained Rainbow Dash, "But I do plan on meeting them one day. For now, though, I have my sights set on the Wonderbolts. Especially Spitfire..."
"Sounds like you would be dividing your loyalties," noted Tracy, "How do you manage them?"
"I don't," said Rainbow Dash, "I have my secretaries take care of that. They schedule my meetings to line up with my various get togethers with my girlfriends..."
"Girlfriends?"
"Y'know, friends who happen to be girls?"
"Ah, right. Since I've already asked your other girlfriends for personal interviews, do you think you could make some time for one with me?" Tracy asked.
"I would be happy to have one!" exclaimed the multicolored Pegasus pony. "Though it will have to be at my cloud mansion this Sunday. I don't want to miss Scootaloo when she takes her flight exam."
"I remember taking that exam." Tracy fondly remembered. She had passed the test with flying colors and had a blast while doing so. One of her friends, unfortunately didn't make it and had to retake it some time later that week. The photofilly never heard from him again.
"Well, it was a pleasure meeting with you and your friends," Tracy said, snapping back to the present day.
"I was glad to share this stuff with you," agreed Rainbow Dash, "There were some things that I just had to get off my chest."
Tracy was certain Rainbow Dash had more things that she needed sorting out. Perhaps if she played her cards right, the photofilly could find out some more things.
-Arranging a Royal Interview-
"Miss Twilight Sparkle," Tracy said once she was done interrogating Rainbow Dash, "May I make a request?"
"What would you like?" asked Twilight, looking almost hopeful.
"Would it be too much trouble for you arrange an interview for me with the princesses?"
"I can have Spike write out a request for you tonight," said Twilight giving a disappointed sigh, "but I'll need a good reason for why she'll need to time out of her busy schedule to spend time with a member of the press...instead of with me..."
"I was hoping to get a better view of the whole picture," said Tracy, "I don't want to write up an article if I'm missing any details."
"Very well," said Twilight, "I'll let you know what her answer is tomorrow...during our one-on-one."
Tracy bit her lip when she saw the purple unicorn's eyes get all saucy again.
"Would it be possible for me to get a picture of all of you?" Tracy asked, breaking the erotic tension.
"Definitely!" exclaimed Celestia's star pupil. Twilight Sparkle got her friends to gather around the base of a nearby tree as Tracy set up her camera a short distance away.
"All right girls," Tracy shouted out when everypony was ready, "Now put on your sexy faces and smi...no no, not that sexy...oh my..." The photofilly stuttered to a stop as she watched as the girls started going at each other. She looked around to see if anypony was looking before snapping up a quick shot of the orgy. The only ones around were the girls' pets, whom were watching the sight curiously as pets are wont to do. But they weren't ponies so they didn't count.
With her photo of the Beavers of the Elements of Harmony in tow, Tracy made her way back to the Ponyville Inn. Along the way, she narrowly avoided befriending the same pony she nearly collided with earlier that day.
-Going Over The Notes-
Once back in her room at the Ponyville Inn Tracy went over her notes. From what she could tell, Twilight Sparkle liked forming "special" relationships with young foals, Rarity liked giving herself to others, Applejack didn't have a very high opinion of animals, Fluttershy probably had a love shack out back, Pinkie Pie's laughter was infectious and quite possibly deadly in large doses, and Rainbow Dash was a corporate executive of an unknown industry. They were also apparently all lesbians. It didn't make much sense and was purely speculation at this point but hopefully her one on one sessions over the next six days would help clear things up. If not, then her interview with the princesses would definitely fill in the sexy blank flanks. For now, though, she would just sleep and dream her photorotic dreams.
