Night Owl For Hire

by Enigmatic Otaku

Rating: mature
Tags: Sex, DJ P0N-3, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Princess Luna, Octavia, Comedy
Length: 4847

Vinyl accepts an ad in the newspaper discreetly placed there by Princess Luna. Vinyl thinks that the job in question is to be the princess's personal maid or something, but Luna has other things in mind.

Wanted: Seeking pony who is willing and able to work during the night and sleep during the day. Doesn't have to be very talkative, but must have a positive attitude, nice smile, be pleasurable company and prepared to fill out any order at any given time by employer.

In desperate need to make some quick cash in order to pay her half of the rent, and despite the fact that the ad in the newspaper lacked more details and sounded a bit iffy, Vinyl decides to take up its offer and is shocked to learn that it was placed there by none other than Princess Luna.

Vinyl thinks that the job in question is to be the princess's personal maid or something, but Luna has other things in mind.

Commissioned by Ghost Pony Rider

Now with reading by TheCaptainSand - Scarlett Blade

Published 2015-10-11 13:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-10-11 13:50:01 UTC

So does this count as a graveyard shift?

"Vinyl..."

"No, Mr. Mcguffin, no more tea for me please..."

"Vinyl Scratch, wake up this instant!" Octavia shouted, staring angrily at the white unicorn mare sleeping haphazardly atop the living room couch.

"Heh...you know...you yell alot for a talking teddy bear," Vinyl muttered in her sleep, empty bags of chips crinkling beneath her as she shifted to her side, facing her back to her roommate--and sometimes lover depending on certain factors like planet alignment, tide of the oceans, shifts in the astral plain, or...whether or not one of them was simply horny at the moment--Octavia.

Hoof tapping impatiently, Octavia ripped her glare away from the still slumbering form of Vinyl, saw that the clock hanging on the wall showed that it was the middle of the afternoon, then turn back to her with a scowl.

After failing to wake her yet again using the polite way, Octavia was fed up. She walked over to the couch's side, slid her hoof into the space behind it, then used her earth pony strength to turn it over, effectively throwing Vinyl off it.

"Ah!" Vinyl yelled, eyes widening in mid air, heart racing and adrenaline spiking, her rushed rousing state exaggerating her short descent to the floor--which was like a foot, by the way--to that of a fall from a skyscraper. After her back had landed on the floor in what she could swear was in slow motion and lived to brag about it, Vinyl crawled out from under the overturned couch, then rubbed the back of her neck as she turned quizzically to Octavia. "So uh," she clicked her tongue, "you're mad about something... What'd I do?"

Octavia's expression hardened. "It's not what you did, Vinyl. It's what you didn't do!"

Oh...so she hasn't found out yet that one of the jars in the kitchen is actually one of those snake-in-a-can things with a peanut butter label slapped on it. Hmm, that's a treat for later then, Vinyl thought to herself, then began to scratch her cheek as she pondered Octavia's meaning.

"Oh!" she exclaimed moments later, sitting on her haunches and slapping her forehooves together. "Um...happy...birthday...?" After a few awkward moments of Octavia deadpanning at her, Vinyl then broke the silence with, "Please say it's your birthday... Birthday sex is like, one of the best kinds...right up there with angry..."

Eyes narrowing, Octavia's response was, "The rent, Vinyl... The rent..."

"Rent? What about it? That's due like a week and a half from now. No biggie," she said, smiling as she gave a dismissive shrug. "I've got a gig coming up in five days, so I'm sure to have the money by then."

Rolling her eyes, Octavia scoffed. "No, you idiot! You've obviously lost track of time, because the landlord's coming in three days!"

"What?" Vinyl questioned, pulling her head back in surprise. That couldn't be right, she was sure it... Well...she hasn't looked at a calendar for a while, so maybe...

"Three days, Vinyl!" Octavia shouted, preventing the unicorn from nearly procrastinating. "He's coming in three days, and I've yet to see your half of the rent!"

Vinyl's eyes wandered the room as she nervously rubbed the back of her head. "Oh, geez, Octy... You know these last few months have been kind of slow for me.... It'll...it'll pick up again..."

"That may be, Vinyl," Octavia said as she moved the couch back to its original position, "but it's obvious that you won't have the bits by the time he arrives, and I will not be paying your share again; you've yet to repay me for those instances..."

Hoof on her chest, and scoffing in disbelief, Vinyl's head snapped to Octavia. "Eh, excuse me?! I've repaid you plenty!"

Picking a throw pillow off the floor and patting it of dust, Octavia silenced Vinyl with, "I'm going to stop you right there and tell you that sex doesn't count..." That...took away Vinyl's only argument... After placing the pillows back on the couch, Octavia turned back to Vinyl and calmly said, "Now, if you don't make some money by selling off some of your DJ'ing equipment or something, then I hope you're ready to throw yourself sexually at the landlord, because if you don't, then I will--and by that, I mean that I'll forcibly bound and gag you, then let him have his way with you."

"Wow uh," Vinyl scratched her mane," that's...kind of kinky..."

"Vinyl..." Octavia growled.

Vinyl pointed at her. "See, you're mad. That's step one of angry sex. Now if you would gladly step into the bedroom with me, we can start the second step." She grinned. "Heck, maybe after a few other steps, we can reach the one where we somehow make a profit out of it!" As Vinyl nervously chuckled, Octavia glared angrily at her as she took a step forward, prompting the unicorn to raise a hoof defensibly. "Alright, alright, alright--point taken, sheesh! I told you we should have gotten a third roommate!" Seeming to compose herself, yet failing to quell the nervousness within her, Vinyl ran a hoof through her mane as she then said, "There's still some time until he comes by, so uh, I'll--I'll see what I can do."

"Good, see that you do," Octavia said, her head held high as she then went for the front door.

Once she opened it, Vinyl then asked, "And where are you off to?"

Barely turning back to her, Octavia coldly gave her reply. "Out, Vinyl. I've got some errands to do, and by the time I come back after completing said errands, I expect to find you with your half of the rent, or gone elsewhere making it."

"Y-Yeah, no problem," Vinyl responded, her expression baring a small hint of a smile as she nodded. However, as soon as Octavia shut the door behind her and walked away, Vinyl's smile vanished as her ears drooped, realizing how deep in the hole she was.

Octavia was right; Vinyl didn't mean to shirk her half of the rent, but it really has been a slow few months for her. These little dry spells in Vinyl's career as a DJ have come and gone before, but it wasn't until recently that they started coming around rent time. Still, Vinyl couldn't just sell off her equipment, as she would need them for when the dry spell was over, so she'd have to seek other alternatives to make some bits.

Not having much to go on at the moment, Vinyl walked into the kitchen and took a seat at the table there, then used her magic to pick up the newspaper she had left there earlier and opened it to the want ads. Ignoring the ones offering a permanent position to something, and avoiding the ones beyond her skill range, Vinyl searched for something that payed well and could be done in a short amount of time. Right when she was about to lose hope, one under the 'Obscure' section caught her eye.

Wanted: Seeking pony who is willing and able to work during the night and sleep during the day. Doesn't have to be very talkative, but must have a positive attitude, nice smile, be pleasurable company and prepared to fill out any order at any given time by employer.

While the ad lacked more details and sounded a bit iffy, the amount of bits it was offering was too good for Vinyl to pass up; she'd be able to pay her half of the rent and have plenty left over!

"Work during the night, huh. I can do that!" Vinyl muttered to herself, smiling as she seemed to match the rest of the ad's criteria perfectly. Staying up all night was child's play for her, as right before the dry spell hit, Vinyl was booked to DJ for seven nights in a row, effectively destroying her sleeping schedule ever since.

Deciding not to let this golden opportunity get by her, Vinyl wrote a note to Octavia explaining that she'll be back with the bits before the landlord arrives, left it on the kitchen table for her to find, exited the house, then closed the door behind her before making for the train station, as the listed time and place to meet with the one who placed the ad in the paper was to be in a cafe in Canterlot a few hours from now.

The sun outside was on the verge of setting, but Vinyl had finally made into to the cafe, and just in time too, as it was near the end of the appointed time. Having always heard that one was recommended when applying for a job, but never really used one herself, Vinyl walked up to the counter with a sheet of paper held in her magical grip, the word 'Resume' was misspelled and underlined in red crayon at the top and 'I sometimes DJ' was written underneath that.

"Excuse me," Vinyl said, getting the attention of the mare working behind the counter. "I've come here for the job offered in the paper...whatever it is..."

The mare tilted her head in confusion. "Job? What job? We're not hir--oh...right," Suddenly, her lips formed into a smile as she then nodded. "Right, um, that's not for here. There's a stallion waiting in the back who asked me to direct anypony asking for a job in the paper to him. He's wearing a striped, black and white, long sleeved shirt; very hard to miss."

"Oh, thanks," Vinyl said to the mare before heading over to the back.

Once she got there, she immediately spotted a stallion sitting at one of the tables with a bored look on his face, wearing the same shirt that the mare described; stranger still, the mare could have just said that he was one of those bat ponies, as that would have been a much more helpful description.

Seeing that she's already come this far, Vinyl walked over to the stallion, then got his attention by waving her hoof in front of his face.

"You the one who posted the ad in the paper?" Vinyl asked as she took the seat across from him.

The stallion smiled weakly as he rubbed his chin. "Well uh, no. But the one who did gave me instructions to wait here for anypony asking about it."

"Oh um...ok?" Vinyl said, pulling her head back a bit as she raised a brow. "So um, what is the job? The ad didn't exactly specify."

"Eeeh," the stallion uttered in mid wince while shrugging. "I'm just the middle pony, even I don't know; that's up to my employer to tell you." He then pushed himself out of his seat. "Speaking of which, it's the end of the listed time, and since you're the only one who showed, I guess it's time that I lead you to them." Making a few steps for the exit, the stallion turned his head back to Vinyl, then used it to gesture for her to follow, casually saying, "C'mon."

Smiling nervously, Vinyl hesitantly rose from her seat. "Heh...you're not gonna like, lead me into a dark alley where you'll drain me of my blood or steal my kidneys, are you?"

More amused than offended, the stallion's fangs showed as he smiled. "Ok...first of all, I'm not one of those ads list killers if that's what you're worried about; second, us bat ponies are more akin to fruit bats than vampire bats, so unless you've got pineapple juice running through your veins, I ain't bitin'."

"Mm, fair enough. I've only got the one kidney anyway," she lied, just to be on the safe side.

After following the bat pony, Vinyl, having both kidneys intact and all, was surprised to learn that their destination was in the castle of all places. However, the surprises didn't end there, as she was then lead into some kind of fancy looking waiting room, where a certain princess of the night was looking outside of the window, who Vinyl was easily able to identify because of her regalia and ethereal mane that both resembled the star-filled night sky outside, using her magic to guide the moon into a better position in the darkened heavens.

"Welp," the bat pony said in an easygoing tone, looking back to Vinyl as he gestured a leathery wing at the princess, "this is my employer and the one who placed the ad in the paper."

Once Princess Luna heard his voice, she turned around and soon adopted a curious expression when she spotted Vinyl. "Captain, is this it?" she curiously asked.

The bat pony nodded softly. "I'm sorry, Princess; I waited until the very last minute, but she's the only one who showed."

"Well...I suppose that's my own fault for not being very descriptive in the ad," Luna said before walking around Vinyl, inspecting her and making the white unicorn feel much smaller in comparison to the princess. "Hmm, no matter; she seems more than sufficient." Seeming to like what she sees, Luna stopped circling around her--which Vinyl was thankful for since she was starting to feel dizzy--then turned her head far enough to see the bat pony through the corner of her eye. "Job well done, Captain. You are dismissed."

"Thank you, Princess," the bat pony said to her with a bow before exiting the room, leaving Vinyl feeling awkward as she was left alone with Luna.

After a few seconds of silently scanning her from top to bottom again, Luna spoke. "I apologize for the bait and switch, for what I'm seeking in a pony requires the utmost secrecy. But, enough about that, introductions! Tell me, what is your name?"

Snapping out of her awkward-induced trance, and recalling that she was already somewhat familiar with royalty, what with having previously handled the music for the after-party at Princess Cadance's wedding, Vinyl decided to answer her.

"Oh, um... I-It's Vinyl, your highness. Vinyl Scratch." Her eyes widened as she then looked around her person. "Shit, where's my resume?! Don't tell me I left it back at the cafe or something!"

Chuckling softly, and right as Vinyl was about to panic, Luna raised a hoof, prompting her to calm down.

"It's fine, Vinyl, resumes won't be needed for the task at hoof. Also, you may address me as Luna, as it'll make things...simpler for what I'm about to ask of you."

"Oh uh, s-sure, Prin--Luna, I mean Luna!" Relived to see that the princess wasn't anything like one of those stick up their asses nobles Canterlot is infamous for producing, Vinyl smiled nervously, then held her head up and puffed up her chest a bit. "W-Whatever it is that you need, I'm your mare!" Abandoning her stoic posture, she then asked, "By the way, what is the job? I mean, are you looking for a new maid or something, 'cause the ad and that guy didn't exactly say what it was."

"Ah, a valid question," Luna said as she walked over to the window. "But before I tell you, allow me to ask you a few of my own. Don't worry, nothing too complicated, just answer them truthfully."

"Alright, uh...shoot."

"Very well." Luna replied with a nod before once again looking out towards the moon. "You're clearly a young and attractive mare, so...are you currently in a relationship of sorts? Do you have a special somepony?"

A bit confused by what that had to do with anything, Vinyl scratched the back of her head. "Am I with someone? Eeeh, kinda, but not really," she said with an unsure shrug. "I mean, my roommate and I've got this friends with benefits thing going on, but it's a pretty open one, and she's pretty ok with it."

"An open relationship, you say?" Luna asked as she turned back to Vinyl. "So she wouldn't mind if you were to say...sleep with another?"

"Nope," Vinyl answered with a shake of her head. "Heh, I mean, just earlier she threatened to pimp me out to pay the rent."

"What was that?" Luna asked, her face contorting in confusion.

Vinyl stone faced. "I said that she's pretty ok with it."

"Oh, I..." Luna's expression relaxed. " Apologies, I seem to have misheard you."

"It's cool," Vinyl said with a dismissive wave of her hoof.

"Right...right..." Luna cleared her throat before continuing. "Next and last question... I'm fully aware that I'm a mare as well, but do you find me...attractive? "

Scoffing, Vinyl rolled her eyes with a smile. "You kidding?! I'd bump flanks with you in a heartbeat!" Her smile soon faltered, as she began to realize that she might have spoken a little too casually there... "Eh, what I mean is--"

"No, it's fine," Luna interrupted, smiling at her. "In fact, I'm relieved to hear you say that; if you didn't, then you wouldn't have gotten the job, as I don't wish to force anything upon you."

Vinyl tilted her head to the side. "Wait, um... Are you saying that I got the job?" Luna nodded. "Great! So what is it?"

"Yes, I believe I've kept you waiting long enough." Luna turned back to the window. "You see, contrary to popular belief, my sister and I aren't that different from ponies such as you, meaning that we have wants and needs just like everypony else. Sometimes...we get lonely, and desire companionship of the intimate nature..." Thinking that Vinyl got the message, Luna turned back to her, only to see her with the most lost face a pony could have. Sighing under her breath, Luna dumbed it down to, "We get horny sometimes..."

It took Vinyl a few tries to connect the dots in her head. "Oh... O-Oh!" Using a hoof, she gestured back and forth between Luna and herself. "You mean you want me to uh...with you?"

Luna nodded. "Of course, I don't see why not. I find you attractive as well, and you yourself said that your roommate wouldn't mind."

"Well, yeah," Vinyl answered as she scratched her mane, "but don't you princesses have a royal uh, guy to take care of that for you?"

"You mean a consort?" Luna asked.

Vinyl pointed at her. "That thing."

"Well, you are correct; there are a few consorts assigned to my sister and I, but, due to Equestrian law, they are to be chosen by a committee of high ranking nobles." Closing her eyes, Luna rubbed her temples. "In my opinion, it's a stupid law placed there by some stupid ponies, as the nobles always choose those who would support their political agendas, like their spoiled sons and such. I find their mere presence unpleasant, and wouldn't joke of touching them." Lowering her hoof, she opened her eyes and looked back to Vinyl. "Hence the ad and secrecy. So, will you accept? I am essentially paying you for sex, so if the offer makes you feel cheap, then I'd understand if you turn it down."

Smiling the biggest and goofiest grin, Vinyl eyed the ceiling. "Girl, if I had a donger, it'd be raised right about now... So uh...when do you wanna start this?"

Glad that she seemed to accept the offer, Luna smiled back. "Now would be good. My room is actually the one next door."

Status of Vinyl's imaginary donger: Skyward

"Oh...neat."

"Indeed. Come, follow me."

After they both exited the room, Vinyl followed Luna into the hallway, then eyed Luna's swaying flank with a grin as she was led to a large double door decorated in obsidian where two bat pony guards stood vigilant at both sides of it. Without saying a word, Luna used her magic to open the doors, stepped in, then turned back to Vinyl and beckoned her to enter with a contained come-hither look in her eyes. Not needing any more incentive, Vinyl did so, Luna closing and locking the doors behind her as she entered.

"So," Vinyl started as she looked around the spacious room, ignoring all the fancy looking and expensive furniture, and instead focusing on the round bed in the center with red velvet covers. "Do we start with some kinky foreplay, or--" She was unable to finish that, as Luna had launched herself at the unicorn, wrapping her hooves around Vinyl's neck and pulling her into a hungry, lust-driven kiss.

Luna's restraint vanished the second she closed the doors; sexually, she was starved, and she had long since explored all aspects of her sexuality centuries before her banishment, so she didn't mind at all that Vinyl was another mare as well.

A bit caught off guard by Luna's straightforwardness, Vinyl was able to quickly recover, adding her own efforts into the kiss and soon opening her mouth to allow Luna's prying tongue entrance. With their tongues constantly twisting and writhing inside one mare's mouth before taking their battle for dominance into the other's, Luna opened her half lidded eyes and began to guide Vinyl towards the bed, using her magic to remove her crown and regalia as she did so.

Having lost herself in the kiss, Vinyl didn't notice that she was moving backwards, so it came as a surprise to her when she suddenly felt her rear come in contact with the foot of the bed. Lips still locked around Luna's, Vinyl choose not to dwell on how she got there, and instead sat upright atop the bed, allowing Luna to push her flat on her back and straddle her above her hips as she lay atop her.

Continuing from their new position, Vinyl couldn't believe her luck as she ran her hooves through Luna's ethereal mane and felt the alicorn's running up her side and neck. She never believed, not even in her wildest dreams, that she'd get the chance to sleep with a drop-dead sexy goddess such as Princess Luna, much less get paid for it. This truly was the opportunity of a lifetime, and Vinyl was going to take full advantage of it.

After finally pulling their heads apart for some much needed air, and breaking a string of their mixed saliva connecting their lips, Luna smiled sultrily down at the unicorn breathing raggedly beneath her.

"Shall we switch into a more interesting position?"

Still tasting Luna, Vinyl swallowed before responding with a weak nod. "Heh, sure. What'cha got in mind?"

Unstraddling Vinyl, Luna crawled to her side and laid on her back. "Even if it is by a slight margin, I am bigger out of the both of us, so it makes much more sense for you to be the one on top of me."

Rising to her hooves atop the bed, Vinyl grinned as she crawled atop of Princess Luna, her aroused marehood brushing over the alicorn's soft fur bellow her belly button as she leaned in for another kiss. However, she was stopped when Luna playfully pressed her hoof over Vinyl's lips, stopping her.

"Ah-ah-ah," Luna sounded in a teasing manner before twirling her hoof. "Other way."

Getting the message, and having her grin grow larger as a result, Vinyl turned atop of Luna, placing her wet and aroused slit over Luna and Luna's below her.

Licking her lips, Luna craned her neck closer to Vinyl's marehood and used her magic to gently pull apart her glistening folds, revealing her moist inner walls and eliciting a bliss-filled yelp from the unicorn as they made contact with the alicorn's hot breath. After biting her lower lip, Luna dove right in, her tongue slipping past Vinyl's folds and right into her inner sanctum as she lapped at the unicorn's sweet nectar, the taste faintly reminding her of blue raspberries.

Eyes shut tightly, Vinyl shuddered and moaned atop of the alicorn, the fact that Luna knew just where to strike made it clear to her that this wasn't the princess's first time with the fairer sex. Not one for giving in without putting up a fight, Vinyl lowered her mouth atop of Luna's sex, playfully nibbling and teasing her clit before greedily lapping at her arousal, tracing her tongue up down and in between the princess's lower lips. To Vinyl, Luna's taste was similar to that of honeydew and freshly cut grass, and she couldn't get enough of it.

After what seemed like an eternity of the two eating each other out, Luna pulled her muzzle soaked in saliva and arousal away from Vinyl's trembling marehood.

"I'm...I'm getting close," Luna said in between breathes.

"What...starting to lose already?" Vinyl said, seeming to have made a competition out of it as she took a small break from her assault on Luna's nethers. The DJ wouldn't admit this, but she was glad that Luna had said that, as she was nearing her own climax as well.

"Hardly," Luna answered after catching her breath, amused by Vinyl's drive. "I just wanted to see if you were interested in finishing together."

More than up for it, Vinyl slid off of Luna, then smiled at her, the fur around her muzzle just as drenched as the princess's. Perceiving the unicorn's ever constant grin as agreement, Luna opened her rear legs, prompting Vinyl to do the same before they scooched closer to each other, their legs soon intertwined as their marehoods pressed against the other. Hearts pounding as the sensation of moist folds brushing against moist folds hit their brains, they began to gyrate their hips, increasing the elation inducing stimuli.

They started off slow, but gradually built up the speed and pressure to their loins, both covered in sweat as they huffed and panted all the while.

"V-Vinyl," Luna soon called, looking elsewhere as she focused on the warm and wet feeling of their hips slapping and grinding on each other. "I'm...I'm close!"

"M-Me too!" Vinyl answered, gritting her teeth.

Moments later, both ponies' voices echoed around the chamber as they moaned loudly when they reached their climax at the same time, their sexes spewing hot marecum on the other, utterly drenching their lower halves.

After the two rode out their high, they fell flat on the bed, their legs still intertwined as they caught their breath while staring at the ceiling.

"Your performance was...mar...marvelous..." Luna said, her chest rising and falling. "You've more than...more than earned yourself a bonus..."

Vinyl barely had the strength to chuckle. "Heh...if the roles were reversed...I'd be saying the same thing." As she turned her gaze towards the doors, Vinyl's expression grew a hint of worry. "Do you think we were a bit loud? I mean, those guards could have heard."

This time, it was Luna's turn to chuckle. "Worry not. Even if they did, they know it's not their place to be spreading rumors. Not that anypony would believe them anyway." Exerting herself a bit, Luna raised her head to look at Vinyl. "Still...I'm sure to be seeking companionship again in the near future, and I'd most enjoy it if I can count on you again."

Smiling as she wiped her brow of sweat, Viny answered.

"I'll be sure to let you know when I hit a dry spell with my DJ'ing."

Octavia was starting to worry; it was nearing noon and Vinyl had still to return from...wherever she had gone.

As she sat at the kitchen table, watching the clock's second-hand tick by, Octavia's ears perked when she was soon alerted to the sound of somepony unlocking the front door.

Turning to it, she was relieved to see Vinyl return, but was a bit curious as to why her mane was completely disheveled.

Hiding her worry, Octavia then asked, "And where have you been? I hope you brou--" She became silent when Vinyl used her magic to set a brown sack filled to the brim with golden bits onto the kitchen table.

"W-Where have you gotten this?" Octavia question, curiously poking the sack. "You didn't rob a bank or something, did you?"

After heading into the kitchen and opening the fridge for a long chug of milk, Vinyl turned back to Octavia and grinned.

"The only thing I stole was a princess's thousand year old virginity."

Well, part of that was true.

Octavia rolled her eyes. "Hmm, funny, Vinyl." Sighing, she got up from her seat. "Alright, I see that you've somehow earned the bits for the rent. So, as an apology for my behavior yesterday, I'm willing to make you whatever you'd like for breakfast. What'll it be?"

After thinking it over for two seconds, Vinyl then said something that she was sure to guarantee her some angry sex in an hour or two.

"You know, I'm hankering for something simple... How about a peanut-butter sandwich?"

Author's Note

Donger Fun Facts: If the donger peaks out of its burrow and sees its shadow, then that means there's eight more weeks of winter.

Like my stories? Then consider supporting me on my Patreon! :twilightsmile:

You'll get neat rewards for doing so, and you'll help the struggling writer that I am! (Need pizza money and saving up for Babscon.)

Any amount helps. :twilightsmile:

Come see: https://www.patreon.com/EnigmaticOtaku