The Way Down

by kgk26

Rating: teen
Tags: Tragedy, Adventure, Shining Armor, Flash Sentry, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Sad, Romance, Original Character
Length: 3721

Not all wounds are visible. Not all wars are waged on the battlefield. Flash must come to terms that war has changed him. But although the road to recovery is a long and strenuous journey, he doesn't have to go about it alone

Honor. Duty. Patriotism. What drives a pony to serve his or her country?

At a barely legal age, Flash Sentry enlists in the Equestrian Royal Guard. Away from home and everything he's ever known for the first time in his life, Flash's experiences help shape and forge him from a colt to a stallion. Pride, commitment, love, courage, and an unshakable loyalty to his brothers in arms.

But then the unthinkable happens and tragedy strikes. And upon his return, he must come to terms with what he's done and what he's seen. War has changed him. Haunted by nightmares and hallucinations, Flash struggles with regaining a sense of normalcy again. But although the road to recovery is a long and strenuous journey, he doesn't have to go about it alone.

Not all enemies are tangible. Not all wounds are visible. Not all wars are waged on the battlefield.

An introspective look on the heart and mind of a soldier and the struggle of PTSD
Dedicated to Lance Corporal Jason Matters. You fly with angels now. Until Valhalla my brother

Published 2016-01-09 19:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2016-01-09 19:00:02 UTC

Prologue

"Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more"
-Henry V, William Shakespeare

I grasped the cargo netting strapped to the ceiling above me in sheer terror while the dim lighting of the Zeppelin's interior alternated between the near darkness of the cargo hold and the outlandish reddish light of the warning strobes. Impossibly far away, the small rectangle of light near the troop ramp switched rapidly between the beautiful dark glow of the cerulean night Princess Luna had blessed us with, and the hellish green fires of the malevolent magical lightning bolt storm that we’d been flying through. On the ramp, the ship's crew chief had his rear legs stuck straight up in the air as he struggled desperately to find a hoofhold to keep from tumbling out of the bird. He was better off than the poor souls who weren't even given a chance to react when a 10 foot wide breach ripped itself open and sucked them out into the sickly emerald-glowing sky. Thick black smoke and flames poured into the cabin as the airship spun out of control towards the forest ravine below.

My stomach lurched as the bird dropped several hundred feet in unmitigated free fall. What happened? My mind screamed at me from within. One second I was chatting with Shortstop and Velocity about the mission and trying my damnedest to keep my mind off the swarms of certain death raging below. The next, there was a roaring explosion of some kind and suddenly we were spinning in a complete 360-degree circle and falling to our most certain deaths.

I knew the score. What it would say on our company's post engagement report: 47 Guardsponies KIA - 3 Zeppelin crew ponies KIA - and one Valkyrie-class Zeppelin destroyed You don't survive an airship crash from twenty-five hundred feet. That sort of shit only happened in the movies. Despite our pilot's best efforts to maintain altitude, I knew it was all for naught. We all only had a few seconds left to live.

The Zeppelin spun hard and somepony big, heavy and most definitely an earth pony crashed into my armored hide. We both were sent flying and smashed into a window on the starboard side of the hull, just a few feet away from the gaping but still burning tear in the airship's armor. Unrelenting gusts of wind screeched past us, flowing through the tear, spreading fire throughout the cabin and managing to drown out the cries of my comrades as they were flung across the interior like rag dolls.

The stallion who smashed into me grasped me by my shoulders and shook furiously. It took a second for me to realize that it was Shortstop and he was sceaming something, though I couldn't understand him through the chaos. The Zeppelin righted itself once and then spun hard again, taking my body with it. I crashed into the cabin's ceiling hard and onto the floor once more. I wheezed feebly and felt a sharp pain in my chest, Broken rib? Shortstop's body fell after me, crushing himself against the hull from the intense inertia and G-forces. He winced but then met my eyes and shoved his hoof out toward the large hole in the armor, leading out to raging, open sky.

"-ONLY CHANCE-" Was all I managed to comprehend from his cries as the wind ripped around us. But I understood immediately. I grabbed him by the hoof and with one final lunge and a flap of my wings, we jumped towards the flaming breach.

Intense, blistering heat washed over my body as unforgiving black smoke filled and suffocated my lungs. But the pain lasted only for a moment before inertia and gale force winds all but sucked us out of the doomed airship and into the dark skies below. We spiraled for a minute, out of control, and my grip on Shortstop's hoof weakened and he was flung far out of reach. I screamed his name.

Seemingly unable to right myself in flight, I continued to spin wildly, stuck in a free fall towards the unforgiving ground. The only thought that slammed into my head repeatedly was, What the Tartarus did I do with my life?!

My legs twitched with nervous anticipation as I stood on the catwalks of some dinky little office structure off in the corner of town. Celestia's brilliant sun shone down upon us from it's highest peak and caused a small trickle of sweat to form on my forehead and roll down my cheek. It was the dead of summer, and the hot sun, added with Baltimare's insane humidity, was proving to be not my favorite combination at the moment.

Despite the heat, I refused to enter the most definitely air conditioned office structure before me. No, just not refused. Was physically unable to. My legs had locked themselves in place and my body had entered a petrified state of stillness. I felt like a cockatrice victim; fallen to it's curse and forever turned to stone. The only part of me that moved was my chest, which rose and fell in an alarmingly erratic fashion. My heart rate, rapid and strong; every beat I could feel in my chest, echoing through my ears.

I started to suspect that the bead of sweat collecting on my forehead wasn't due to the extreme heat out today.

"Sooo you going inside? Or what?" I snapped out of my trance-like state, only to glare at my companion and life long friend beside me.

"Shut up for a minute, okay?" I sardonically replied, "Just... gimmie a sec. It's hot out and I'm feeling dizzy." The sigh I gave was a little dramatic, and definitely forced. And while my excuse was at least partially true, it still felt weak and more akin to whining.

"Don't be backing out on me now brony. This was your idea after-all." Atlas Granite grinned widely as I shook my head at him and gazed back towards the entrance to the office. The office itself seemed rather plain; the door very spartan. The only thing decorating it was a placard; decorated with a kite shield. The shield was split down the middle; one side illustrating a starry night and the other, a bright sunny day. A radiant sun with a crescent moon took up the center of the shield.

The coat of arms of the Equestrian Royal Guard.

The emblem had been on my mind for the better part of the last few weeks. I was of legal age, and about to graduate school. But in the month's leading up to graduation, I had come to a realization; I had absolutely zero ideas on what I wanted to do with my life. Everypony else I knew was moving on with their futures: setting up careers, moving away, or going to attend big name schools in Canterlot or Manehattan. I felt as if I was being left behind; the only pony refusing to leave my side being Atlas.

He and I went way back, back to when we we're still foals just starting out grade-school. I remember and cherish that day and I'm almost damn sure he feels the same. Back on our very first day of school; I was a nervous wreck; which was understandable, being a child and checking in with a blank flank. Embarrassed, I kept my hopes high but my head down low, praying to Celestia and the Throne that nopony would take notice of me. Fate, being a cruel mistress, had other ideas however.

Nervous and wrecked by the jitters, I paid no attention to my surroundings and accidentally bumped Atlas in the flank. He was a large foal for his age, standing a full head taller than I at that current moment. However he was still only just a child, and his intimidation factor was severely diminished by the horrible speech impediment he developed due to missing one of his front two teeth. Regardless though, Atlas was no pushover. He glared, shoved me back and laughed at my lack of a cutie mark. Angry, I retaliated back at him; making fun of his ridiculous sounding impediment and probably some scathing insult by child standards, like he was "smelly" or a "poop-head" or something. He shoved me again and I bucked him right in the face; we fought for a bit and both ended up at the principle's office. It was an eventful day.

While we sat outside the principle's door, waiting for our parents to show up and ground us forever, Atlas had the nerve to blame me for the fight. I shot back, infuriated that he would try to shift the blame. The argument lasted barely a minute before Atlas' eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets and he started coughing uncontrollably. He hacked and struggled for a few seconds while I watched on in horror until he finally coughed up what was seemingly choking him.

His other front tooth. No doubt knocked loose from me bucking him in the face.

What started out as shocked silence, quickly changed to quiet snickering, which quickly escalated into full blown laughter. The two of us just went on, both laughing until our chests hurt and there was tears falling down our cheeks. Then Atlas and I realized that I had gained my cutie mark from our little fight, and the laughter continued unopposed once more. We became inseparable that day forth; funny how friendship works.

It was thanks to this bond that he refused to leave me, even when I told him that I had made no plans for after graduation. He himself had been accepted to a general purpose University over in Canterlot. A huge, prestigious, and accredited school that I had neither the grades nor money to attend. As soon as he realized that I wasn't going with him, he instantly threw his acceptance letter into the trash, set it on fire and smirked at me, "Well Flash, what's next?"

After some brainstorming, I was the one who brought up the Guard. Why not? The two of us always talked about going on adventures and seeing the world together; why not get paid doing our dream? And then afterwards, I'd have the money to attend school. It seemed like the perfect plan; and naturally, Atlas agreed.

So if it was the most sensible, perfect plan; why did I hesitate stepping into the office?

Atlas, never being the kind of pony to just sit around and wait, playfully shoved me aside and entered the office space. Shaking my head to clear my dazed expression, I followed suit. A blast of cold air hit me as I entered and a shiver went down my spine. Contrast to the plain, spartan exterior of the door, the interior of the office was well decorated. Pictures and motivational recruitment posters lined the walls, detailed with Guardponies wearing shiny golden armor and slogans such as Courage and Honor and In Her Majesty's service. One such poster caught my eye; it's significance being one of the most famous photographs ever taken. It was from the Battle of Stalliongrad, taken more than a century ago back during the Nightmare Moon rebellion. We had learned about it in history class; where a contingent of brave Guardponies loyal to Princess Celestia, held the city against a legion of corrupt Bat-ponies controlled by Nightmare Moon. The photograph was taken at the battle's end. Victorious, the surviving Guardponies raised the Equestrian flag over the ruins of a once grand city. While the city of Stalliongrad was destroyed, it's spirit lived on with those that fought to defend it. The words Together! decorated the bottom of the poster.

I stared at the poster for a second longer, before I followed Atlas towards the center of the office, where a uniformed stallion sat behind a desk, filing through stacks of important looking paperwork. A tan, crisp button up shirt adorned with several stacks of colorful ribbons covered his massive body, and his short cropped mane gave him a very professional, military appearance. He noticed us almost immediately as we entered and stood from his seat, taking a stack of papers and balancing them on his back.

"Good morning gents," He greeted us, standing from his chair and walking around his desk. He motioned towards a pair of chairs next to our side. "Go ahead and take a seat. I'll be with you in a moment. Just gotta take care of something in the back office."

He disappeared around the corner, and for a few agonizingly silent couple of minutes, Atlas and I were left alone to our thoughts. My head was going a thousand miles per hour at that point, worried contemplation and worst case scenarios filled my psyche; and I couldn't help but second guess every decision I ever made up until that point. Sensing something amiss, Atlas rested his hoof upon my shoulder and gave me a comforting squeeze.

"Hey." He stated, his voice echoed with a worried tone. His face uncharacteristically serious.

"Yeah?"

"You okay?"

"Peachy." I lied through my teeth. Apparently not a very good on either, since Atlas just smiled and shook his head, calling me out on my bullshit.

"Y'know, it's okay to be nervous Flashy," He shook my shoulder at the nickname he'd given he years ago. I scowled at him and shook him off my shoulder. He just laughed in return.

I narrowed my eyes in response. "Easy for you to say, Mr Perfect." I shot back with my own long running nickname for him.

"We normal, imperfect pony folk don't exactly have this...natural resistance to negative emotions that you and your kind do."

"You don't think I'm scared?" I shook my head and he seemed hurt at the implication. "Bro, I'm bucking terrified!"

My eyes widened slightly at the admittance to his emotions. Atlas? Atlas Granite? Afraid of something? What?!

Atlas was, without a better term to describe it, perfect. He was, in everything that he did. Any task he put his mind to, he excelled at. Atlas was charismatic, he was charming, he was funny, he was fit, he was strong. Yet he was also smart, unbelievably so, getting high marks and straight A's in every class he took. He was kind too, he once spent a whole summer volunteering at a nearby soup kitchen, aiding down on their luck ponies who only wanted a meal to eat. He was head of a tutor system at school, not just for academics but also for those who needed counseling. Atlas was an unbelievably kind hearted individual, he knew how to listen and give advice. Ponies flocked to him in droves, wanting to be his friend. Mares adored him, I'm pretty sure he had legitimate fan clubs dedicated to him back in school. As cliche as it sounded; mares wanted him, colts wanted to be him.

And I, despite being his best friend, wasn't. Sure I could be charismatic when I wanted to be, I was far from what one would consider a "reject" to be. I had a marefriend, who I loved dearly so. And I had friends other than just Atlas. But I was far from being a "golden boy" like he. I struggled in school, my grades being sub-par. I was an okay athlete. Not great, just okay. And I lacked the kind heart of my best friend. I was selfish and self obsessed in many ways. And I didn't always put others before my own needs. Yes, I was opposite to Atlas in numerous ways and it absolutely boggled my mind as to why we were as close as we were.

To be blunt: Atlas Granite was perfect and I, Flash Sentry, simply wasn't.

So it should be exponentially concerning as to why Atlas, Mr Perfect, was afraid. And that in return scared the ever living piss out of me.

Atlas, noticing my expression just smiled in response. "Weird right? I mean school is one thing Flash. But this? This is the military dude. This is an entirely new beast." His casual admittance to his fear made me numb. But his words also filled me with an intense feeling of guilt. Atlas was here for me. He gave up a bright future in Canterlot for me. Everything he worked for, everything he ever accomplished, he gave up for me.

The guilt seeped into my soul and gripped my heart in a tight, unforgiving squeeze. But the selfish side of me clashed with my feelings of remorse. I hated myself for it, but I knew I was using him. Using him because I knew for a fact that I wasn't strong enough to go about this choice on my own. It wasn't right. I had to make it right.

"Atlas, look I appreciate you being here for me man," I started, my words filling me with false confidence. "But you don't have to go through with this, I can make it on my own." My words felt hollow, I knew I was lying.

"We're inseparable, remember?"

"But we don't have to be," I just want him to understand, why can't he just understand? "The last thing my conscience needs is to know that I'm weighing you down."

He looked hurt at my words. "Flash. We're brothers man. Anywhere you go, I go. This is my choice. You're not forcing me to do anything."

It's by far the most infuriating thing about my friend. You just can't say no to the guy. Everything he does, everything he says. It just makes sense. You can't argue the point because there is no moot point with him. Whatever you establish, he'll convince you otherwise with his words.

"I just-" I wanted to argue some more, but he interrupted me. Something that he does rarely and only when all options have been exhausted.

"Listen," He steeled his voice and it cut through me as if I were wet paper. "We're family, you and I. And even though I or you or us, might be scared. It's normal. You have to be crazy not to be. But that's not going to stop anything. Do you know why?" I already knew what he was going to say, but I shook my head 'no' regardless.

"Because," He smiled warmly at me and I wanted to do nothing more than buck him in the face for being so insufferable and then hug him for being so likable. "We're gonna do this together. You and me, taking on the world together, inseparable. Forever and always."

His words rang a truth through me and I let a small, sad smile grace my face. A promise we made when we were still kids.

"Forever and always..." I whispered and let my voice die off as the Guardpony recruiter returned from the back of the office. Atlas gave me a toothy grin and a light buck on the shoulder, giving our conversation a proper end. I shook my head at him and returned the grin, though halfheartedly. I wasn't very satisfied that I effectively lost our argument.

"Apologies 'bout that" The recruiter coughed, dropping an even larger load of paper and manilla colored folders than before onto the desk before us. "I absolutely hate paperwork." He laughed and then stretched out, rotating his neck until it gave a satisfying crack. Smoothing out his uniform, he finally took his seat behind the desk and looked at the two of us with one of the most concentrated and serious stares I've ever experienced.

His eyes were sharp despite his age, a certain gleam in them, a spark of confidence and pride that was fit for a stallion in the prime of his life. The guardpony recruiter continued his scrutiny of us for only another moment before he broke out into a toothy grin and reached out over the table, hoof extended for a shake.

"Gentlecolts, it's a pleasure to meet you." He greeted us, shaking both our hooves with a confident strength that had my foreleg feeling wobbly. "I'm glad you guys stopped in today. My name is Staff Sergeant Steel, what can I do for you?"

And just like that, our path was set.

Author's Note

Dear reader,

Welcome to my story. I've always felt that the Royal Guard aspect of the MLP universe to be underused and even when used, lacking in what I would call "authentic military story telling". Myself, being a member of my country's military, often find such stories of substance to be hard to come by. So in the downtime of my current deployment, I've decided to break the cycle of the monotony of my life and set my idle hands to work to start writing a story worthy of military and avid fiction readers alike.

The character of Flash Sentry, I feel, warrants unjustified hate from the community. Simply for the fact that he exists. I understand that he lacks in character somewhat, but I fail to see why he is so vilified by the masses. This story will attempt to redefine his character. Basis will be upon the lifestyle, tenancies and mindset of an average 18 year old service man or woman, serving in today's modern militaries.

Be forewarned, my occupation is Infantry (rah) so the characterization of Flash and his fellow guards will reflect greatly upon my choice of specialization. Marine Corps infantrymen are politically incorrect, arrogant, swear, fight and consume copious amounts of alcohol and tobacco on the regular. Though I will refrain from overly saturating my story with such aspects, I wish for my fanfic to be as authentic as possible and give justice to the lifestyle.

I will also tackle the subject of PTSD or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, which has been plaguing armies since the dawn of conception, but only really came to a serious light as of the last decade or so. I've seen it firsthand and how it affects not only those diagnosed but also the loved ones and those closest to the service member. Flash will be tested both physically and mentally and will experience everything from brotherhood and love, to war, death and loss.

So thank you for reading and stay tuned. The ride has only yet begun