Down To Earth

by AxtontheMechanist

Rating: teen
Tags: Romance, Adventure, Crossover, Alternate Universe, Anthro, Comedy
Length: 1120

You ever wanted to... oh, I don't know. Rule the world? How about control the EARTH?! Literally. A comedy story centering around a fairly nerdy smart ass of a guy. That is, when he falls right into a world... upside of his own.

Look, I'm just a normal guy, I swear! …OK, that was a lie. I'm not normal; frankly, I'm ABNORMAL! A guy with over average intelligence, fanatic video gamer, gun enthusiast, extreme sports freak. Yep, that's me; I'm a guy who likes to live life. No messing, no STUPID relationships and please no goddamn idioms that just grind the educated population's gear. Ugh.

Anyway. Stay awhile and… listen? No no no; that's not right at all!

Just bloody read the book. Why are you still on the description? YOU FOOL!

'You thought I WANTED to be here?'

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-10-11 20:02:43 UTC

Firing Squad

Another dreary day greeted my eyes as I woke up to darkened sunlight through my inherent Night Glasses*; the dark walls of my rooms surrounded me, littered with posters about 'the new game' that came out in the countless stacks of magazines I owned, large enough to fill a wardrobe the size of my passive ego. Look, don't get me wrong! I love society.... OK, that was a lie; a big one at that! The truth is, reader, I couldn't care a flying flick about society; trust me when I say that this hella wicked tale will reflect that.**

So, let's begin shall we?

Stay here awhile and.... read, I guess. Knock yourselves out.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO~~~~~~~~~~TIMEMACHINE~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

A room... in the middle of nowhere... like, why is this even here? Eh, let's try this again.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO~~~~~~~~~~TIMEMACHINE~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

(take 2!)

[INSERT SEXY NARRATOR VOICE.]

Here, we have young man, fresh for adventure upon the lonely road called life...-

"Woah woah woah." A green shirted man, in his late teens, stares towards the screen of the laptop, deadpanning "THAT'S how you describe me???"

A tut released from the young man's mouth as he shook his head as he continued to play Way-Low, assault rifle clipping to his leg as he pulled out a pistol, shooting yet ANOTHER noob in the head with a quick one-two round shoot off to the head and a brutal punch down into the man's nuts. The simulated enemy soldier squealed like a little girl on steroids..... then the Mic of the player activated.

"Try better next time, noob; get on my level!" The dude in green grinned, his character's visor glinting a menacing shade of... well nothing; a black iridescent visor would meet the foe, providing only a void that would promise death. A cold end, greeting them down in the bony embrace of the metallic reaper; flesh on the inside, stone even deeper. A metal corridor for the unmarked dead.

--- The green player turned toward the screen, smirking.

"Much better." --

A picture message appeared in a small 'Xberk' symbol for the player on screen after the player's death, a smiley face appearing prior to 'XxTheGateKeeperxX sent you a message.' Looking befuddled and more than a little pissed off that his streak of murder had been interrupted... for a message... he took a 'murder break', shaking his head with a smile.

The white screen of navigation opened, blue and white filling the screen with a black translucent blocker filling the remainder; pressing the 'Ay' button to open the image, only to look in stupor at the... well, the next box.

'We at the Equestria Digi-Games would love to invite YOU, the PLAYER 'Quicksilver117' to fight in the Equestron games! Participate at your own risk for EXTORTIONATE prizes!!! Join today for a free-tshirt. And a teddy bear maybe? Please? *flutterycute!*'

Looking in his eyes could be seen no small amount of confusion, the days of the past flashing by in the blink of an eye as an interactive screen in front of him; literal holographies... in his room. They filled the wall, detailing the other contestants; intros, outros, fighters begging for a worthy battle with no small amount of bloodlust in his room; the boy... nay, the man looked at himself, a grin appearing on his face.

"Voice activation.... CHALLENGE ACCEPTED." He mentioned tremulously, nerve wracked; his brain was blank, palms sweaty and... ew, BO.

The message selected its options; if the blue damned screen had a face, it would be grinning like a giddy school girl; literally, it bleeped and blooped away, running green code around the room that replaced all the fighters and items filling the walls of Grey or White.  By Zeuster's might neck beard! It was coding him!

A loud drone filled the room as the floor turned to liquid; a green light was on him also, but shockingly lime and... ewww goo! What the hell, narrator?!

"What is this, some sort of terrible sci fi or thriller alien mooooviieeee........" The guy's voice petered out slowly as he fated into the floor, the last thing seen of the boy... a middle finger pointed at the screen. Damn.

Equestria, Crystal Empire; The Crystal Stadium.....

The guy in green groaned in a mixture of pain and annoyance as he was deposited by an all too enthusiastic portal onto a hardened and reinforced crystal... platform? Not entirely registering the crowds of people around him in the stands as he stood up, he got his bearings, head still spinning.

"Ok... I'm in... a stadium? What the hell?" He looked around, more than a little confused "And.. this is from that weird gamer, which means.... yowch!"

He yelped in pain as a crossbow bolt whizzed past his head, chipping into his right ear slightly; a... thing, stood on the other side of the stadium, loading in another bolt. It had a white feathery plumage, a yellow beak that looked sharp enough to tear meat from bone and stood at his height; pretty quickly, the feminine bird thingy levelled yet another bolt at him. Having the grace of common sense by now, the guy in green dodged down, narrowly avoiding a shot to the neck, a small flicker of hair being taken from him, away in a whoosh of the wind; a small cut now stood on his upper crown, bleeding a deep red ooze. Pain flaring, the guy in green snarled, his eyes turning slightly feral; he was pissed, and this.... bird thing... was going to really get it. Right in the fucking neck.

Launching forward at speeds unbeknownst to him, he managed to land a punch, knocking the wind out of the being's sails, beginning a barrage of heavy punches and kicks; his fury had been stoked, his rage burning like a red hot coal in his head. He was seeing red, lusting for the blood of his enemy, wanting for them to beg in pain for the mercy that he would surely not give.

"Diediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediedie! DIE!!!!!!" He bellowed, his eyes widening in the hysteria of battle as he punched birdbrained fighter off the edge of the stadium platform. The crowd roared wildly, cheering and chanting his name as the announcer belted out a victory message on the coliseum's tannoy system.

"Quicksilver117 is the victor! Gilda the Griffon is unable to battle!" The crowd roared in agreement; for anyone watching the big screen, it would seem as though the 'Griffon' had disintegrated off the face of the earth; truth was, she probably just spawned back in the Fighter Area, under the arena. Head pounding at all the adrenaline, the young man soon fell to the floor, head spinning and eyes closed as the world faded from sight.