Friendship is Epic - Book 1: My Big Flare (COMPLETE REMAKE)

Chapters

Friendship is Epic - Part 2
The Cutie Mark Advisor
The Garlic Roll Batter Anomaly
Love Thy Pony
Apple Kitchen Deluxe
Brownie Madness
The Unicorn Games
Wedding Captures
Rainbow Crush
Pinkie Promise
The Noble Six
Hail to the Chief, Baby!
Flare Through Time - Part 1
Flare Through Time - Part 2
Child's Play
Just Mommy and Me
The Royal Pizza Inspection
The Race to Victory
Spice of Life
Moon Chips
Vinyl Scratch FM
Calm Before the Storm
On a Role
From Birthdays to Pageants
The So-Soest Night Ever
Sweet and Sour Flare - Part 1
Sweet and Sour Flare - Part 2
Friendship is Epic - Part 1
Lord of the Wings
In Twilight's Hooves

Friendship is Epic - Part 2

“Alright, fine! Go, leave! See if I care! You’re all tators; tator-tots; just like the rest of them! I don’t need any friends! I’m better than all of you!” I yelled at them. They were all gone, all seven of them. I was all alone in my unfinished pizza shop. I stopped for a second, and then I began to realize, what kind of pony have I become? All those fools back at Mareami got the best of me. I turned into them, and now I put my entire grudge on the six ponies (and one dragon) that were my only hope of ever making friends. So, it has come to this. I abandoned the construction of my pizza shop, I beat the Mane Six to Twilight’s house, attached myself on my trailer, saw they all glared at me, and I just took off, and I did not look back.

After a while went by, the Mane Six were just sitting around in Twilight’s house, and feeling relieved with me gone, or so I thought, I wasn’t really there, how am I supposed to know?

Rainbow Dash took a deep breath and said, “Thank goodness he’s gone.”

“Yeah, but were we kinda hard on him?” Twilight asked.

“Pffft! He was hard on us first.” Rarity said.

“Well, he deserved it.” AppleJack said.

“I know he did, but…. I have the feeling that what we did wasn’t really the right thing.” Twilight said.

“Wake up, Twilight! Some ponies are just jerks like that.” Rainbow said.

“We just have to accept it, and move on.” AppleJack said.

“Well, so much for the party.” Pinkie said. “It’s sad giving a party to a big meanie!”

“Well, was he really mean?” Fluttershy asked.

“Of course he was. Why else was he yelling at us like that, and being a complete jerk and such?” Rarity asked.

“I know he was pretty mean, and violant, and scary, but… what’s his side of the story?” Fluttershy asked.

“Probably bullies others, and blames others for it. He maybe moved to Ponyville to find a new group of ponies to bully.” Spike thought. Just then, there was a knock on the door.

“Spike, can you go get it?” Twilight asked.

“Maybe Flare did have a point.” Spike said, as he got up from his chair.

“I’m not treating you like a slave, Spike!” Twilight reminded him.

Spike walked over to the door and opened it. It was Princess Luna on the other side. “Princess Luna?!” Spike gasped.

“Greetings, my faithful subjects. May I please come in?” Luna asked. Spike bowed and moved out of the way so Luna could come in.

“What are you doing here, your highness?” Twilight asked as the ponies bowed.

“I came to speak with all of you.” Luna said.

“Look, if it was about the whole ‘Welcomin’ Flare to Ponyville’ business, we had to turn him down.” AppleJack said.

“He was a big meanie!” Pinkie yelled from behind her, which kind of startled the princess a bit.

“So I heard, and I must say: I am quite disappointed.” Luna said.

“He’s not what you think he is, princess.” Rarity said.

“Actually, he’s everything I knew he would be. Yes, he maybe a little short-tempered, and he isn’t very mature either, but you have to believe me, he’s one of the kindest, touching, and funniest ponies I’ve ever known.” Luna said.

“Huh?!” everypony said at the same time.

“What?!” Pinkie said surpsingly as she jugged a whole cup of coffee and spat it all over Spike’s face.

“I don’t understand, how is he any of those things?” Twilight asked.

“Back in Mareami, Flare Gun was a different pony, different than anypony else. He used to make jokes, he did have social problems, but he couldn’t help that; he was a very unusual pony, but he was very loyal to those who he’s close to. He used to have a couple of friends, but they used him, betrayed him, and nopony wanted to ever be friends with him. Flare Gun tried, and tried, he didn’t give up; he wanted to make friends so bad, and find at least one pony that would accept him for who he is.” Luna explained.

“Yeah…. I’m with you, brother.” Fluttershy said.

“He kept trying until one day, after he was betrayed by his closest friend, his most trusted and loyal ally, Flare just gave up on ever making friends again. He just stayed inside his house, played video games all day, ate a lot, cry himself to sleep, and even worshipping Amanda Todd, just to fill that empty space in his heart.” Luna explained.

“Worshipping Amanda Todd? Wow, this is really serious.” Spike said.

“So Flare moved to Ponyville to have a fresh new start, all because he saw you six on television, after you used the power of friendship this past year; so that’s why he came, and even after you were his only hope of ever helping him change, you turned your back on him.” Luna said.

“We did… and that’s not who we are.” Rarity said.

“But how did you know about all this? You keep saying this stuff like he’s your closest friend or something.” Rainbow asked.

“He is one of my closest friends. When I was still imprisoned in the moon, Flare would just look up into the moon, and just talk to me.” Luna explained. “He would talk about his day, what his adventures were, what his score was on Angry Birds every time he used the restroom, how he punched that bully in the face after he stole a wimpy kid’s lunch money, and even recommended that wimpy kid to make a diary of his life, and giving that diary a sequel, and another sequel, and pretty much a bunch of sequels.”

“Oh I love that book!” Twilight said.

“Not many ponies respected me either when I was gone. None even knew I existed; except for a few, and one of them was Flare Gun. I didn’t know where I’d be if it wasn’t for him. Despite what you see in Flare Gun, he’s more than you think.” Luna said.

“Dear Celestia, you’re right!” Rarity said.

“Excuse me? I’m right here you know.” Luna complained.

“Luna is right. There was a pony that really needed our help, and we just ran him out of town.” AppleJack said.

“That jerk pony!” Pinkie yelled.

“What?” AppleJack asked confusingly to Pinkie.

“He left Ponyville without attending his welcome party! All the ice cream is getting hot, and all the pizzas are getting cold!” Pinkie complained;

Spike licked his lips and said, “Ooo hot ice cream and cold pizzas. That sounds delicious! I love a good cold pizza in the morning.”

“Ooo me too, me too!” Pinkie said excitedly.

“But there isn’t gonna be ANY pizza in town without Flare here. So let’s go get him back!” Rainbow instructed.

“Too right!” Rarity said.

“But… where can he be? He should be miles away by now.” Spike said.

“Carrying that big heavy trailer? I doubt he’d go far.” Twilight said.

Luna closed her eyes, and used her magic to locate me. “He’s deep in the Everfree Forest right now.” she said.

“See? Told you.” Spike reminded Twilight.

“He’s camped himself near Piranha Plant Nest.” Luna said with her eyes still shut.

“Piranha Plant Nest?!” everypony said surprisingly at the same time.

“We better hurry then! There’s no time to lose!” Twilight said. So the Mane Six and Spike all went inside the Everfree Forest to look for me. It was really nice of them, but the real question is: did they remember to brush their teeth this morning? It doesn’t smell like Spike did last I checked.

After a while went by, they easily found my trailer and walked over to it. Twilight knocked on the door, hoping I’d answer. “Maybe he’s not home.” Rainbow thought.

“Rainbow Dash, I just knocked on the door.” Twilight corrected her. “How can he-“ Just then, an eyeball-like camera popped out from the side of the door, and my voice talked on the intercom, and I was talking in the language Jabba the Hutt speaks. “Umm, Flare?”

“Nooo, nooo, Mister Flare no home.” I said in an Hispanic maid voice.

“Flare, we came to say we’re sorry. Luna came to my library and explained everything.” Twilight said.

“Of course Luna came to your library, and of course you’d come here on her say so.” I said angrily. “She’s pretty much the only one that cares for me. Her, and there’s also my fish, but… I dunno, how can I trust any of them? Come to think of it, how can I trust you?!” the eyeball camera zoomed very closely to Twilight’s face, and Twilight backed up a bit.

“I know you’re feeling pretty upset right now.” Twilight said.

“Uhh, what was your first clue?” I asked sarcastically.

“Ooo, ooo! Is it your attitude?” Pinkie asked.

“Look, I’m getting really tired of everypony right now. I’m so tired of being blamed for everything, getting put down, and all I want now is to stay inside my trailer forever, and just wait to rot away.” I said.

“Rot away like a tomato?” Pinkie asked. “Because tomatoes rot pretty fast. Well, maybe not as fast as bananas.”

“Goodbye, Mane Six.” I said.

“Wait, Flare! Please, we can help you!” Fluttershy begged.

“Help me with what? Whatever I have, nopony can fix.” I said.

“Did you try therapy?” Spike asked.

“Why would I waste my money on a pony just saying random obvious words?” I asked.

“Please, Flare?” Fluttershy begged.

“No.” I said.

“Please? Pretty please?” Fluttershy asked.

“I said NO!” I yelled.

“Pretty please with whip cream, and a fried cherry on top?” Pinkie asked.

“Ooo, fried cherry! Sounds delicious! But no.” I said.

“Can you at least think about it?” Twilight asked.

“Uhhhh- NO!” I said.

“Pretty please with a bunch of sprinkles, and-“ Pinkie said, but was cut off by AppleJack covering her mouth.

“Forget it, Pinkie. There’s no use arguin.” AppleJack said.

“Yeah, we tried our best. Flare doesn’t want to come with us, then that’s fine by us.” Rainbow said.

“Alright; sorry to bother you, Flare. We’ll leave you alone now.” Twilight said as everypony turned around and started to walk away, except Fluttershy.

“Fluttershy, let’s go.” Rainbow demanded.

“I’m not leaving until we make peace with Flare!” Fluttershy said, crossing her arms.

“Oh c’mon.” Rainbow said as she started dragging Fluttershy away from my trailer.

”NO! NO!” Fluttershy yelled. “You can’t make me go! He needs us! Let go of me, Rainbow! I don’t wanna go!”

“Listen to you, sounding like a spoiled child that keeps asking their grandma for cookies.” Rainbow said.

A cutaway shows a colt whining at his grandma as the grandma tries to wash dishes. “But, grandma, I want a cookie!” the colt whined.

“But, junior, you’ll spoil your dinner.” The grandma said.

“Just one cookie?” the colt asked.

“Well…. Ok, you may have ONE cookie.” The grandma said, giving him a cookie.

“Yaaaay!” the colt cheered. The colt walked out of the room, thought to himself, made an evil chuckle and came back. “Grandma, may I have a cookie?”

“No, junior, you’ll spoil your dinner.” The grandma said.

“Just one cookie?” the colt asked.

“Well… ok, you may have ONE cookie.” The grandma said, giving him one.

“Yaaaaay!” the colt cheered. He walked out of the room, and then came back once again.

“Grandma, may I have cookie?” the colt asked.

“No, junior, you’ll spoil your dinner.” The grandma said.

“Just one cookie?” the colt asked.

“Well… ok, you may have ONE cookie.” The grandma said, but once she placed her hoof in the jar, there was nothing there. “Nope, sorry, junior. There’s none left. I wonder where they’ve gone? They were just here a minute ago.” The cutaway ends.

So as the Mane Six have failed to win me back, they decided to give up and go home. Really, though? They didn’t really do much effort. It’s like they actually didn’t want me to go with them. Oh, what was my first clue? Duh! Anyways, as they were walking, Rarity’s hoof gets tangled.

“Oh dear.” Rarity said.

“What’s wrong? Got dirt on your hoof again?” AppleJack asked.

“I got my hoof stuck on a vine.” Rarity said.

“Ugh, move over.” AppleJack walked over to Rarity, leaned over towards the vine, and started pulling it off with her teeth. Wow, that pony sure has strong teeth, but that didn’t really help; the vine pulled her to the ground and she hurt her nose.

“Oh no!” Fluttershy said frightenedly as more vines came out of the ground, and tangled her legs together.

“Weeeee!” Pinkie cheered in excitement as vines were swinging her in the air. “This is fun! Too bad Flare’s missing out!”

“What's going on here?” Spike asked as more vines popped out and were about to attack him.

“Wait a minute. Girls, I think we made a wrong turn.” Twilight said. “I think we made our way to…. Piranha Plant territory.” The Mane Six all looked over at a giant plant with big mouth that smiled creepily at them.

“Well, well, well, who do we have here?” the plant asked.

“It’s Petey Piranha!” Spike yelled.

“Petey Piranha?” the plant asked. “Nah, I think you have me mistaken for some other plant.”

“Oh please don’t hurt us!” Fluttershy cowarded in fear.

“Who do y’all think you are?! Let go of us you varmit!” AppleJack demanded.

“No way, José! You in mah territory!” the plant said.

“Look, I respectfully ask you release us. This is completely unnecessary.” Twilight said.

“Unnecessary? HA! That word don’t apply here in mah turf!” the plant said.

“Can you at least get your dirty spines out of my mane?” Rarity asked.

“Oh yeah? Whatcha gonna do about it?” the plant asked as it used it’s vines to block Rarity’s and Twilight’s horn. Twilight attempted to use her magic on the plant, but failed. The plant laughed and said, “Magic don’t work on me! I’m chaos-bred!”

“You must be one of Discord’s leftovers.” Twilight guessed.

“Noooo duh, Sherlock!” the plant said.

“Alright, you put ‘em up right now!” Rainbow yelled at the plant, flying up to it with her hooves up. “You better let go of my friends, or you’re gonna get it! I don’t care what it takes; only one of us gets out of here alive!”

The plant started to sing as it started poking Rainbow Dash in the stomach. “Now ya wait a minute, uhhh ya better hold the phone.”

“Hey, stop poking me!” Rainbow demanded.

“Better mind your matters; better change your tone. Don’t you threaten me, son! Ya got a lot of gall. We’re gonna do things my way, or we won’t do things at alllllllll!” the plant sang.

The plant used one of it’s vines to grab Rainbow from the hind right hoof, and turn her upside down. “Hey! You can’t do this to me!” Rainbow yelled.

“You don’t know who you’re messin’ with, you got no idea.” The plant sang. “You don’t know what you’re lookin’ at, when you’re lookin’ here.”

“This is totally not awesome!” Rainbow complained.

“Ya don’t know what you’re up against, no, no way, no how.” The plant sang. “Ya don’t know what you’re messin’ with, but I’m gonna tell you na-na-na-na-na-nananana- now!”

Some little piranha plants as a chorus started getting rhythm in the background going, “Ahhhh, ahhhhh, AHHHHH, AHHHHHHH!”

“Get this straight: I’m just mean green mother from outer space and I’m bad!” the plant sang.

“Mean green bad!” the backup plants sang.

“Outer space?” Spike asked.

“I’m just mean green mother from outer space, and it looks like you’ve been had!” the plant sang. “I’m just mean green mother from outer space, so get off my back, get off my face, ‘cause I’m mean and green, and I am BAAAD!”

“Ok, all the blood is going into my head.” Rainbow said, still upside down.

“Alright you big vegetarian varmit; y’all are askin’ for it now!” AppleJack yelled at the plant while holding a pile of rocks. Just as she was about to throw one, the plant snatches all the rocks from her hooves. “What the?!” she said surprisingly.

The plant continued to sing as it started throwing all the rocks at AppleJack, but luckily for AppleJack, she’s a good dodger. “Wanna save your skin, boy? Wanna save your hide? You wanna see tomorrow- ha ha; you better step aside!”

“HA! Ya can’t hit with me with a ten-foot-“ but as AppleJack was yelling that, one of the rocks hits her in the head, and she fell over. Hey, she’s lucky not to have a migraine after that hit.

“Better take a tip boy. Want some good advice?” the plant continued singing. “Ya better take it easy, ‘cause you’re walkin’ on thin iiiiiiice! Ya don’t know what you’re dealin’ with; no you never did; you don’t know what you’re lookin’ at, but that’s tough pitty, kid! The lion don’t sleep tonight, and if you pull his tail, he roars (he roars); ya say, ‘That ain’t far?’ Ya say, ‘That ain’t nice?’ Ya know what I say? ‘Up yours!’” The backup singer plants start raising their voices again.

“Hey, c’mon, can’t we talk this over with a nice cup of hot cocoa?” Flutters asked, but the only response the plant gave was pulling down her fur like pants. Fluttershy blushed and covered her bikini bottom.

“That’s a lawsuit waiting to happen.” Spike said.

“Watch me now! I’m just a mean green mother from outer space and I’m bad!” the plant sang.

“Mean green bad!” the backup plants sang. Spike ran over to hide behind some bushes, but the plant knew he was there.

The plant sang while just staring at the bushes; “I’m just mean green mother, a real disgrace, and you got me fightin’ mad!” Spike thought he was safe behind the bushes, but the backup plants popped out from all directions of the bush, which made Spike freeze in fright, not freeze in temperature wise (unless of course you’re freezing from fright, because that’s possible), and the plants were raising their voices going ‘ahhhhh’ while the plant continued singing; “I’m just a mean green mother from outer space, gonna trash your flank, gonna rock this place, I’m mean and green, and I am BAAAAD!”

As the plant yelled ‘BAAAD’, the plant used its vines to split the bush in half, leaving Spike exposed, and the plant grabbed him. As the plant continued to sing (or more like talk-singing at this point), Twilight looks around the surrounding area to look for ways of weakening the plant. Twilight finds some poison joke flowers up ahead, thinking that might affect the plant. “Don’t talk to me about ol King Kong, you think he’s the worst? Well, you’re thinkin’ wrong. Don’t talk to me about Frakenstein, he got a temper? HA! He ain’t got mine!” the plant sang.

The plant sees Twilight using the poison joke on itself, and the plant laughs and says, “Foolish unicorn, I’m already a joke!”

“No offense, but I don’t find this funny. If you tangled me a little looser, and swung me around, then it would be fun.” Pinkie said.

“You know I don’t come from no black lagoon, I’m from past the stars and beyond the moon. You can keep the thing, keep the it, keep the creature that don’t mean a bit!” the plant sang. “I got garden style, major moves, I got the stuff, and I think that proves you better move it out, nature calls, you got my point, I’M GONNA BUST YOUR BALLS!” the plant stabs right through a tree, which deflates a beach ball which so happens to be inside.

“NO! Not my emergency balls!” Pinkie cried.

The plant uses its vines to swing on all the tree branches, cutting them off, which caused debris to fall on the Mane Six and Spike, bumping their heads a bit. The chorus plants started raising their voices as the last part of the song was about to start; “Ahhhhhhhh, ahhhhhhhh, AHHHHHHHH, AHHHHHHH!”

“Here it comes! I’m just a mean green mother from outer space, and I’m bad!” the plant sang.

“Mean green bad!” the chorus sang.

“I’m just a mean green mother and a real hard case, you can’t beat this trouble, man.” The plant sang. The chorus started proving backup in the background. “I’m just a mean green mother from outer space, so just give it up, it’s all over, ace, ‘cause I’m mean and green!”

“Mean green mother from outer space.” The chorus sang.

“I’m mean and green!” the plant sang.

“Mean green mother from outer space.” The chorus sang.

“I’m mean and gree-“ the plant sang, but was cut off.

”Excuse me, brah? Hey, how’s it going?” I asked the plant as I stood right beside it.

“HEY! I was in the middle of singin’, boy!” the plant said angrily at me.

“Yeah, well, I apologize for interrupting. I just need a little something from you.” I said.

“And what do you propose that be?” the plant asked.

“My friends; if you please, would you be so kind is to release them? We won’t invade on your territory again. We can consider this a warning. What do you say?” I offered.

“Hmmm, I’ll have to think about it. Uhhh…… ok.” The plant said.

”Really?” I asked.

”NO!” the plant yelled and laughed. “These bunch of ponies, and dragon, are my dinner! Now step aside, red guy.” The plant pushed me aside.

“Flare, what are you doing?” Rainbow asked.

“You know something, Petey Piranha?” I asked the plant.

“That’s not my name.” the plant corrected me.

“Whatever; I have to say something to you about these bunch of ponies; before you eat them.” I requested.

”Sure, why not?” the plant shrugged.

“These six ponies represent the power of friendship, and power up the Elements of Harmony in order to save Equestria from jerks such as yourself. Now I’m not quick to judge, but it was pretty rude of you to snatch them while they were trying to return home after giving up on me!” I said angrily.

“You wouldn’t come with us. It’s not our fault.” AppleJack said.

“It is your fault.” I said to the Mane Six. “You represent Loyality, Honesty, Generosity, and Kindness, and you know what? I didn’t get any of that! I got a bit of laughter from Pinkie, but that’s about it.”

“LAWL!” Pinkie yelled out.

“But you know what? It’s my fault too. I’m not the nicest pony in the world, I’m not the smartest pony in the world, and I know for sure that I’m pretty irritating.” I said. “But the thing is: It’s not my fault. I mean, yeah, it kinda is. I try to be funny at serious situations, I ask obvious questions, and sometimes I may act like a jerk. But what I’m really trying to say is: I’m not perfect. The only difference between me and all the jerks I’ve ever met is that I have the courage to confess it. I need help, that’s why I came to you six. I saw you on the news, and I knew you were my only hope, but you gave up on me. I thought to myself that I somewhat deserve it, and I really think I do.”

“Flare, nopony deserves to be hated. Everypony needs a little respect every now and then, but sometimes you gotta show that you really need the respect, otherwise others will think of you as something else.” Twilight said.

“But yeah, ah guess we were a little too quick to judge as well.” AppleJack said.

“You may be irritating, but you’re no square.” Rainbow said.

“Neither is SpongeBob; he’s rectangle.” I said.

“I never thought you were annoying, Flare. You just seemed a little violant is all.” Fluttershy said.

“I hate violence more than anything; it’s never the best solution.” I said.

“Oh boo hoo hoo, yeah this all very touching, I’M HUNGRY!” the plant yelled. The plant was about to throw the Mane Six into it’s mouth, but despite what I said, I’m willing to sacrifice my believes in order to keep friends of mine safe.

“Alright, Petey, no second chances; it’s laser time!” I yelled.

“Laser? No magic can harm me!” the plant laughed.

“I was able to do this magic spell only once or twice before. I tried, and I tried, but I couldn’t get it again. I now know the reason why I’m able to do it: I’m angry face! I’m so very angry face right now! So you know what?!” I yelled as my horn started to glow.

“No magic can harm me, fool!” the plant yelled.

“IMMA FIRIN’ MAH LAZOR!” I yelled at the top of my voice. I fired a giant laser from my horn and shot it against the plant. The plant was weakened, and it released the Mane Six and Spike from it’s grip. The plant started screaming, and so did it’s backup singers. I jumped up to the plant’s head with my hornsaber spell against its face, “Alright, brah, I’m telling you right now: Nopony, and I mean NOPONY, messes…. With…. My….. friends! So if you ever get your grip on ponies I like, I’ll bring your head to your mama in a package! GOT IT, BRAH?!”

“Yes, sir.” The plant said as it was weeping in fright and pain.

“Good; now here’s a business card to my new shop that I’m going to open soon. Be there and order something good!” I demanded.

“Okay.” The plant said, taking the business card. I jumped off the plant, and stood in front of the Mane Six.

“Flare, I…. I don’t know what to say.” Fluttershy said shockingly. “That was-“

“THAT WAS SO TOTALLY AWESOME!” Rainbow said in excitement.

“But, Flare, you said you didn’t want to come back to Ponyville. You said you’d rot in your trailer rather than being with ponies again to risk betrayal.” AppleJack thought.

“Well, I was thinking that, and I was like…. Why not? Everypony deserves a second chance. I feel I needed the same back.” I explained.

Pinkie jumped on my back and said, “You should have the same back. You don’t want to risk a bad old man’s back, would you?” We all smirked at Pinkie.

“Flare, we’re sorry for running you out of town.” Twilight said.

“It was wrong of us.” Rarity added.

“No, it was my fault. I was so nervous, and desperate for your help, I wasn’t thinking straight. I was being all zig-zaggy and stuff.” I said.

“Well, Flare, we’re here to help you out. If you need us, you can always give us a call.” Twilight said.

“So we’re friends again?” Fluttershy asked.

“Of course!” I said.

“Best friends?” Pinkie asked.

“Whoa, I wouldn’t go that far. I can’t be a part of your group. I need some help so I can make my own friends.” I said. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I like you, but-“

Spike covers my mouth and says, “Not another word…. Bro.” I smile after Spike called me his ‘bro’, and then I lick his claw. “HEY! Claw licker!”

“Whatever is near my mouth, I lick it.” I said.

“You don’t know where it’s been!” Spike reminded me.

“LAWL, c’mon, brah and sistas; let’s go home.” I said happily as we all walked out of Pirahana Plant territory and went to retreve my trailer and return to Ponyville.

“Oooooh, woe is me!” the plant whined. “Wait a minute! I don’t have a mama! I was grown by seeds!”

Then the next morning, back in town, the Mane Six, Spike, and I were all working together to build the business. Everypony was happy, and was treated fairly. Three days later, the business was complete, and the secret was revealed: "Wow! Flare's Pizza Shop! Sounds like a great name, Flare!" Fluttershy said.

"Yeah! Ponyville never had a pizza shop before!" Pinkie said excitedly.

“I really appreciate your help, but you didn’t have to. I changed the Friendship Agreement for something we all agree on.” I explained, showing them the Friendship Agreement.

”Luckily, we read it this time.” Twilight winked.

“Ah needed to return the favor after ya chased out those parasprites from my farm.” AppleJack said.

“So what kind of pizza you making?” Rarity asked.

“I got all the flavors! Hay pizza, veggie pizzas, or just plane cheese pizza.” I said as I was holding a cheese pizza on my hooves with an airplane on it. “I even got some pasta dishes too, and salads, and soups, and lots of great drinks. Lots of great choices: Dr. Hooves, Cola, Lemon-Lime, Root beer, Diet soda, and inside there's also an iced tea fountain, freshly brewed; and best of all, my food is made with love!" just then, I take out a pair of friendly scissors, and I walk up towards the front entrance where a ribbon is in front of the door. "By the power of Equestria, and the Wizards of Hope, Strength, and Feelings…. I hereby declare Flare's Pizza Shop...." I use the child-friendly sissors to attempt to cut the ribbon, but I couldn’t, no matter how hard I tried. I just shrugged and I used my hornsaber to cut it. "...OPENED!"

Everypony then cheers and heads inside. I was inside first in with my new uniform on, and I stood behind the counter. I had a chef hat, and an apron that says; ‘Shoop Da Cook’. Rather clever if you ask me.

"So Flare, looks like your new business is beautiful darling! It was really worth it!" Rarity said.

"Well I hope so. I still need employees and customers. So it's not a success yet." I said. Suddenly, the front door opens, and two ponies walk inside and walked over towards the counter / bar area. “Sup sistas? Welcome to Flare’s Pizza Parlor! How lucky are you to be my first two customers?”

“Actually, we’re here to apply for a job. My name is Bon Bon, and this is my friend Lyra Heartstrings.” Bon Bon said.

“I’m her friend Lyra Heartstrings.” Lyra said.

"Your pizza business sounds like a great place for us to work!" Bon Bon said.

"Alright! That's great!" I said as I take out some application papers, and hoof them over to them. "Just fill out your applications and you'll be working here in no time!"

“The Friendship Agreement?” Lyra asked as she reads one of the papers.

“Well, yeah, if you’re gonna work here, you gotta be friends with me, duh!” I said.

Bon Bon and Lyra take their applications and sit down on a table to write them down. Just then, out of the bloom: the mayor of Ponyville walks through the door. I got pretty excited. "The the the the the the Mmmmm-mayor!"

"Hello !" Mayor Mare said. "As the mayor of this town, I would love to be your first customer!"

"Sure! What would you like?" I asked.

"I would like a hay pizza, with extra cheese, thin crust." Mayor Mare said.

"Right away, ma'am!" I said as I got started making the pizza. I started up by rolling the dough, throwing it into the air, twirl it around like a basketball, and threw it on the counter. I then took out some of my ‘special sauce’ made up from a secret formula I whipped up back at home, and squirted some onto the dough. I spread some cheese, placed some hay, spread it with some more cheese, then I threw it into the oven, and wait for the oven to go DING. I took out the pizza. After five minutes, I delivered the pizza to the table where the mayor is sitting. The mayor gives the pizza a taste, and then she gasps in shock.

"Surprised face! Oh no! I think I made it wrong!" I yelled.

"This is the best pizza I ever tried! In fact, this is the first pizza I ever tried! Flare Gun, you're a great chef, and this restaurant is going to be one of the most famous restaurants in Equestria!" the Mayor explained.

“And that there is an achievement!” I said as an XBUCKS achievement unlocked icon pops up from the top of the screen saying, ‘When the Moon Hits Your Eyes – 30G’. “Praise the Wizards!” I yelled. “I’m sure this will be a better accomplishment than the time I bought a Visa Debit card.”

A cutaway shows me registering the card on WalmartMoneyCard.com, and I was pretty upset. “Why isn’t this card validating!? I paid 100 bits for this?! So much for getting my favorite Nashorse racer on the cover.” I complained. The cutaway ends.

And so, my business is becoming a success. I didn’t think I had it in me. For somepony with a flank tattoo with a computer mouse on it, how can my career fall into pizza? Well, that’s a story for another time, I got one more thing to tell you though. I walked back to my trailer, put in my passcodes and everything, but as I was doing so, Twilight was right behind me. “Hey, Flare!” she said.

“AAAH!” I yelled. “DON’T DO THAT!”

“Sorry, did I scare you?” Twilight asked.

“No, I’m having a baby, what do you think?!” I asked sarcasticly.

“There’s your next friendship lesson, Flare: mind your sarcasm.” Twilight said.

“That was sarcasm?” I asked.

“Yeah, you didn’t know?” Twilight asked.

“I can’t tell the difference between somepony being sarcastic or being serious.” I said.

“So today was a pretty good day for you, wasn’t it?” Twilight asked.

“It was; it was awesome! It was one of the best days I had in years; but…. Something tells me it won’t be long until it goes away.” I said.

“Some days you have good days, some days you have bad, you just have to live with it.” Twilight said.

“Yeah, well, I had waaaay too many bad days in my life already. I had enough.” I said.

“We’ll see what’ll happen.” Twilight nodded.

“Would you like to come in?” I asked.

“Sure, I got nothing better to do.” Twilight said. So I opened the door to my trailer, and welcomed her inside. “Welcome to Flare’s domain, a place filled with wonder.”

Twilight walked in, looked around and asked, “Well, I am already wondering something. Why is this trailer bigger on the inside?”

“Ask the Doctor, I dunno, I found it like this.” I said. “Feel free to look around.”

Twilight opened the door to the right of the door, looked around and asked, “Wow! What kind of room is this?”

“This is the Lounge; it has everything: XBUCKS 360, PS3, two computers, a vending machine, a soda machine, an air hockey table, a pool table, a pin-ball machine, a slot-machine, and even the pony that empties out the slot machine.” I explained.

The pony that empties out the slot machine emptied the slot machine and said, “I got this job because I get a cool red vest on top of a white blouse.”

“That’s the spirit, Henry!” I said to him.

Henry leans over to Twilight and whispers, “Sometimes when Flare’s not looking, I take a few bits out of the slot machine to keep for myself. Shhhh, don’t tell him.”

I then leaned over to Twilight and whispered, “Sometimes I catch Henry taking bits out of the slot machine; that’s why his paycheck is so low.”

“How did you get all this stuff, and why?” Twilight asked.

“If you were alone like I was, you’d have so many electronics to drain the sorrow.” I said.

“Is that why you also have a second fridge in here?” Twilight asked.

“No, that’s the only fridge in this room. I got another fridge in the kitchen though. I got an awesome kitchen.” I said as I walked across the hall to open the kitchen door. “Got a really cool microwave too, and I also got a dishwasher, but I never use it, because I’d rather wash the dishes in the sink.”

“Because hard work always pays off?” Twilight asked.

“No, because I use Palmolive.” I said.

“Oh.” Twilight said.

“So here are my other rooms: bathroom, exercise room, living room, guest bedroom, and MY bedroom!” I said, walking Twilight through the whole house, switching rooms as I named them.

“Wow, you can teach Pinkie Pie a thing or two about what you just did.” Twilight said in amazement.

“Did what?” I asked.

“The rooms just changed as you were naming them.” Twilight said.

“Uhhh…. Right. So there you have it. That’s the tour of my trailer. Nothing that special, but it’s home.” I said.

“Why do you have an exercise room? You lift weights?” Twilight asked.

“Of course I do! I look hip, don’t I?” I asked, flexing. I leaned over to Spike and whispered, “I don’t really exercise. I just had an extra room, I didn’t know what to do with, so I just put them there for ladies.”

“Right.” Spike said.

“Spike? When did you get here?” Twilight asked.

“Since you two were touring the living room.” Spike said.

Twilight walked over to my fish tank, and took a look at my pet fish. “Nice fish!” she said.

”Ah, I see you like my fish.” I said.

“What are their names?” Twilight asked.

“The black molly is named Darrel, the one swimming to you really happily, he’s a happy little guy; the white molly is Pearl, she’s like Rarity; the two rainbow fish are Rainbow and Dorthey, Rainbow’s in charge, and Dorthey wants to be in charge; Yoyo the yoyo loach, he’s a big eater, he picks on the other fish (literary), and he’s everywhere; and finally, we have the albino catfish named Piddles, who likes to sleep a lot, and chase his reflection. He thinks his reflection is another fish.” I explained.

“Interesting! Hey, Flare, can you do me one quick favor?” Twilight asked.

“I’m not going to egg the principle’s house just so you can enjoy seeing me in trouble!” I said angrily.

“What?” Twilight asked.

“Oh nothing, just a flashback. What do you need?” I asked.

“Well, you see, I’m the student of Princess Celestia, and here in Ponyville, I too try to learn the magic of friendship, like what you’re doing now.” Twilight said.

“So you’re saying you were once as bad as me?” I asked.

“Pffft! No way!” Spike chuckled. Twilight glares at Spike, and Spike was embarrassed after he said that. “Hmm, right.”

“Well, I wouldn’t go that far, but I knew friendship was all I needed to be happy, even though I once thought it wasn’t.” Twilight said.

“So what are you trying to say?” I asked.

“Can you write a letter to Princess Celestia?” Twilight asked.

“Why?” I asked.

“Because whenever friends of mine learn something about friendship, they write a letter to her of what they learned.” Twilight said.

“Can I write one to Luna too?” I asked.

“Well…. I suppose it wouldn’t hurt, but it needs to be sent to Celestia in order for me to gain credit on it.” Twilight explained.

“If you say so, but I really want to write one to Luna. After all it was her that made you all come after me.” I said.

“Please, Flare?” Twilight begged.

“Alright, fine. What’s her email address?” I asked.

“It counts more as a grade for me if you send it by scroll.” Twilight said.

“Oh picky, picky, picky!” I complained. I take out a piece of paper and a pen so I can write down the letter for the princess. “So what do I write? Thank you for treating our kingdom right?”

”It’s a friendship letter; tell her what you’ve learned.” Twilight said.

“I can draw a letter A if you want.” I offered.

“Not that letter; a note.” Twilight corrected me.

“A z-flat?” I asked.

Twilight groaned. “No, it’s a message. I told you that already.”

“I know you did, but writing messages is a bit modern, don’t you think?” I asked.

“Please write it.” Twilight asked.

“Alright, alright.” I looked down towards the empty paper, thinking about what to write down. I wrote: “Dear Princess Sellestea, Umm… hello.” I actually wrote down the ‘umm’, and that’s actually how I wrote ‘Celestia’. “My name is Flare Gun, and I’m new to Ponyville. I moved here to get away from all the stench of misery and stress back in Mareami, so that’s why I moved here. I never gave up, but I was soon on the verge after moving here. Today I learned that you shouldn’t let the stress of your past get to you; it’s all water over dam and you must look into the future, to make it brighter for yourself and others. Hope to meet you someday; I certainly met your sister. Sincerely, Flare Gun.”

“You spelled her name wrong.” Spike pointed out.

“Oh, well, it’s too late now; I wrote in pen.” I said.

“It’s good enough. Send it, Spike.” Twilight said to him.

“Hey, Twilight, what’s Celestia’s fax number?” I asked as I was turning on the fax machine, but just then, I saw Spike use his fire breath on the paper and it vaporized in mid-air. “Wow, thanks a lot, brah; you destroyed my hard work.” I complained.

“Relax, the letter is safely with the princess.” Spike said.

“Soooooo, you burnt her too, and you send the letter to heaven as well?” I asked.

“No, Spike’s breath is magical. He can send letters to Princess Celestia just by breathing on them.” Twilight explained.

“I can also toot the letters to her, but Twilight said it’s unofficial and ridiculous.” Spike said.

"Yep! This is going to be a great relationship with these ponies! I can tell!" I said, as I place a top hat on my head and carried a cane.

"Wha-what are you doing?" Twilight asked.

"Ponyville will certainly change my life, and here is why....." I started, and started singing a parody of the Worry Song by Gene Kelly:

"You may think I'm from a city that's so happy and fun
But it was so very dramatic and my happy was none
But if I stayed then the price I paid would be so very high priced
And if you think you don't believe me, ask my freezer ice!"

"You may think that the city of Mareami is so hot and dry
But it was so very fun if you gave it a try
You may laugh and sing and dance as happily as an elf, but....
If you think you'd make much friends there, you should try it yourself."

I start dancing and jumping around on my furniture, falling on the floor, kicking my legs, and such, like Donald O'Connor in Singing in the Rain. I continued singing:

"We have XBUCKS, and space center, we even have theme parks
We had beaches, we had night clubs, and our alleys were dark
But my friendship was not enough for those ponies to handle
But as long as I don't have wings, I should have a red bull!"

"They were tators, they were jerk-offs, they were even bullies
I used to be very happy there, until I took an arrow to the knee
You may laugh and sing and dance as happily as an elf, but....
If you think you'd make much friends there, you should try it yourself."

"Well I hope you're happy here, Flare!" Twilight said
"I will be happy here! You like to sing right?" I asked her.

"All the time!" Twilight smiled.

"Then join me!" I said, taking my hoof out.

"Okay!" Twilight said, and started singing:

"In this town you'll get your friendship, and none will ever stab you.
Don't you worry, don't you worry, do you have any clue?
Ponyville is a town that's full of friendship, and I'm even researching it.
If you stay here, that I guarantee it, you will certainly fit!"

"We have parties, we have events, and even fun adventures
Everything will keep you happy, as long as you'll stay for sure.
You can laugh and sing and dance as gayly as an elf, but...
If I think that I'd make much friends there, I should try it myself!"

"Will you try?" I asked.

"If you show me!" Twilight said.

"I'll show you!" I said.

"I'll try!" Twilight said.

"Good! 1, 2, 3, 4..." I sang as he tapped on the floor.

"1, 2, 3, 4..." Twilight repeated, doing the same.

"1, 2, 3...." I sang, tapping a different way.

"1, 2, 3...." Twilight repeated.

"La la la la la" I danced.

"La la la la la." Twilight repeated.

"You see?" I asked smiling.

"IT'S EASY!" Twilight said. I took Twilight's hoof, and started walking around the trailer, and started doing a couple of random dances, like you'd see on the Anchor's Away video. Once we finished dancing, the other's started clopping their hooves together and cheered.
"Yep! I guarantee that life here will be much better than Mareami! Thank you, Luna!" Flare said smiling.

“I’m glad.” Twilight nodded.

“Hey can I ask you something else?” I asked.

“Sure.” Twilight nodded.

“Why do you use a different voice when you sing?” I asked. Spike starts to make a face like he’s sick to his stomach, or somethin’. “Dude, you alright? Did all the dancing make you dizzy and now you’re sick?” Spike burps up a letter from the princess.

“Looks like Princess Celestia responded to your message.” Twilight said.

“Wow, that’s a first! Not many ponies reply to messages on Facebook.” I said as I took the letter and read it. It reads: “Dear Flair Gun, I am very glad you’re happy in Ponyville. My dearest student Twilight Sparkle will be sure to make sure you learn as much as possible about friendship. Luna told me about what you’ve been through, and I guarantee you’ll be happier here. I wish you the best of luck! Sincerely, Princess Celestia.”

“Well, now both Princesses Celestia and Luna are both asking us to do the same thing, so let’s teach you a thing or two about friendship.” Twilight winked.

“Sure! Only one problem though.” I said.

“Yes?” Twilight asked.

“I less then three Celestia.” I said.

“What?” Twilight asked.

“I less then three her; she’s a joker like me.” I said.

“What do you mean?” Twilight asked.

“She spelled MY name wrong. Winky face.” I winked.

"Oh, Flare." Twilight shook her head, and chuckled.

"Pizza on the house?" I offered.

"Sure." Twilight nodded as we both walked out of my bedroom, and later out of my trailer.Darrel swam up to in front of the tank and saw that Twilight and I walked out.

"Alright, all clear!" Darrel called out to the other fish as he pulls a secret lever on the tank's castle. All the fish uncovered their water-proof electronic devices, the juice bar, and everything else that I didn't know was inside that tank.

"Woo! Now I can go back to bed." Rainbow said in relief.

"I'm right behind you, Rainbow!" Dorthey said.

"Why do you always follow me around?" Rainbow asked her.

"I wanna be just like you, Rainbow! Leader of the tank!" Dorthey said.

"That's nice. How about being a little more like Piddles? Nice and quiet?" Rainbow suggested.

"C'mon, Rainbow! Don't be like that! We have lots of partying to do!" Darrel said as he swam under Rainbow and started pushing him up.

"Hmm! You guys gotta eat more! You'd be in a good mood more often if you guys ate more!" Yoyo suggested as he looked for some food at the bottom of the tank.

"You get outta here, this is my tank!" Piddles yelled at his reflection. "Flare is gonna be confused if you continue- STOP MIMICKING MY EVERY MOVE!"

"Aw c'mon, Piddles. Leave the poor fish alone. He's just having fun." Yoyo teased.

"Oh yeah? How about you quit stuffing your face, Yoyo?" Piddles suggested.

"But I'm still hungry, dude!" Yoyo said.

"How you doing, boys?" Pearl asked.

"Ah, Pearl! Great! You're up! Yeah!" Darrel said as he blushed.

Pearl giggled and said, "You're such a sweetie, Darrel!" Darrel blushed some more as he floated to the top of the tank. Good thing he didn't do that while I was there, otherwise I would've been pretty frightened.

"Alright! Who's up for a game of fishjack?" Dorthey suggested as she took out a deck of cards. "Place your bets!"

Author's Note

Part 2 of the premiere. Combined both of the endings of the old chapters 1 and 2 on here, as well as added a new temporary foe. This chapter actually has recycled content from an old Book 1 chapter I never released, when Flare ran away because he thought the Mane Six betrayed him, so I brought that back. And now in here, I made a good reason for Flare to be hanging with the Mane Six often, mostly because he's learning friendship, even though Flare was never perfect, the story makes more sense now, and I'm glad I remade this.

Also, the ending fish scene was actually taken out of the Princess For A Day chapter, which I am deleting. There will be chapters with Flare's fish, and even though they can talk to eachother, Flare can't understand them, but they can communicate with other animals, like a phoenix they're going to befriend in a future chapter.

The Cutie Mark Advisor

Its been a week and a half since I opened my new business. My business is starting to be a success; slowly, but surely. Hey, does that phrase come from anywhere? Well, anyways even ponies from Canterlot and Cloudsdale ask for pizza. Bon Bon, Lyra Heartstrings, and Ditzy Doo have been doing an excellent job in the business. Derpy told me she needed a part-time job to help pay for her finances, because the mail job doesn’t pay enough, so I gave her part-time. Anyways, back to the story.

One morning, at the Apple house, Apple Bloom woke up and walked down for breakfast. Granny Smith cooked some eggs for the family.

"Mornin' Apple Bloom!" AppleJack said to her little sister.

"Mornin' Family! Sleep well?" Apple Bloom asked.

"Eeeyup.” Big Mac said.

"Me too, I had a dream I was lassoin' dem bulls at the rodeo." AppleJack said. "What did you dream about, sug?"

"What do you think? Getting my cutie mark!" Apple Bloom said as she hopped in place.

“Right, how can ah forget? Was it the one when you were a nurse for a retirement home?” AppleJack asked.

A cutaway shows Apple Bloom sitting on a sofa with an old pony from the Ponyville Retirement Village, and reads a story to him. “…And that's when the yellow birdie thought to himself, ‘Hmm. My favorite little tree isn't such a little tree anymore.’ So she sang her song, big and strong, and they all lived in that great, big tree happily ever after. The... end.”

“Very interesting story, sweetie.” The old pony said. “But can you repeat the beginning? Oh, and can you also repeat the middle….. and end?” The cutaway ends.

“Nope, that wasn’t the dream.” Apple Bloom shook her head to her sister.

“Was it the one when you were a merchant at Blockblister?” AppleJack asked.

Another cutaway shows Apple Bloom sitting behind a desk at a Blockblister along with her friends Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo, and an angry customer walks in and starts complaining. “Excuse me?”

“Hello! Welcome to our video store!” Apple Bloom said in an Italian accent.

“How might we be helping you?” Sweetie Belle asked in the same accent.

“Yeah, last time I was here I ordered Man of Steel, but this…. This isn’t what I expected.” The customer complained, placing the DVD of the movie on the desk.

“No, no, no. You no order Man of Steel; you order Man of Teal!” Scootaloo said.

“Man of what?” the customer asked.

“Man of Teal!” Scootaloo said.

“Teal? That doesn’t sound right.” The customer said.

“This movie better!” Scootaloo said.

“MUCH BETTER!” Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle both yelled.

“Yeah, I strongly doubt that.” The customer said.

“Here, let us put in the movie and see for ourselves!” Sweetie Belle said as she placed the movie in the DVD player. On the TV, it showed Scootaloo in a teal Superman costume, and Sweetie Belle as Bleenie. They both looked at the camera and just talked while looking at it.

“Look at me! I am Superman! Look at my teal costume!” Scootaloo said

“Wow! Your teal costume looks so cool! Oh no! Look out!” Sweetie Belle yelled.

“Grr! I am General Zod, and I hate Teal!” Apple Bloom said in a General Zod costume.

“I'll save you!” Scootaloo yelled as she pretended to snap Apple Bloom’s neck.

“Ow! My neck!” Apple Bloom said.

“Apple Bloom, fall down.” Scootaloo whispered.

“Oh, right! OWW!” Apple Bloom yelled as she fell down.

“My hero!” Sweetie Belle said to Scootaloo.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders all applauded and Scootaloo said, “This movie good, or what?”

The customer dropped his jaw and yelled, “A good movie? You call that a good movie?!”

“How much will you be payin’ us?” Apple Bloom asked.

”Pay you? PAY YOU?! Oh I’ll pay you alright!” the customer said angrily as he walked out of the store.

“He said he gonna pay us, and he walk out.” Sweetie Belle said.

“He must be goin’ to get his check book.” Apple Bloom assumed.

”Let’s dance.” Scootaloo said as German polka music played in the background, and the CMCs started to dance. The cutaway ends.

"Well then, how did ya get your cutie mark in your dream?" AppleJack asked.

Apple Bloom paused and thinked for a second. "Ah don't really remember all that much. But in the dream, I saw a pony..... a red pony. I don't remember everythin'." Apple Bloom said confusingly.

"A red pony, huh? Was it Big Mac?" AppleJack asked.

"Nnnope!" Big Mac said.

"No, it's a unicorn." Apple Bloom said.

"Oh... hmm, let's see..... well, there’s only two red unicorns ah know, there’s that red unicorn with the purple mane durin’ Winter Wrap Up, and there’s the new pony, Flare Gun.” AppleJack said.

Apple Bloom smiled and put her front hooves on the table. "Yeah, it was him! Maybe he has somethin' to do with me getting mah cutie mark!"

"Maybe, sugarcube. Maybe. Why don't ya go and see him later?" AppleJack asked.

Apple Bloom jumped out of her chair and started running to the door. "Yeah! I'll go get Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo...."

AppleJack then interrupted her. "Now hold yer bridges there, Apple Bloom! School first!" she said giving her a mischievous face.

"Aww!" Apple Bloom whined.

“Now doncha worry ‘bout a thing. Just a word of advise.” AppleJack leaned close to her sister. “Be careful ‘round, Flare, alright? He maybe a wee bit irritatin’, but he’s a nice pony.”

“Ah don’t really mind. It’s just Scootaloo ah have to keep an eye on. She gets annoyed easily. Remember when we watched Star Wars: The Phantom Menace?” Apple Bloom asked.

A cutaway shows the Cutie Mark Crusaders at the movie theater, watching Star Wars 1. “Yousa follow me no, oki-day?” Jar Jar Binks asked.

“Done!” Scootaloo said as she stood up quickly with her front hooves in the air, and she walked out of the theater. The cutaway ends.

A few hours later, at the school house, the bell rung and the fillies and colts started running out of the school. Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo walked out after everypony else.

"You know what girls?" Apple Bloom asked.

"What? You have an idea about us getting our cutie marks?" Sweetie Belle asked.

“Isn’t that question obvious?” Scootaloo asked.

"Yeeup! Ah had a dream last night about getting mah cutie mark." Apple Bloom said.

"Oh really? What was your cutie mark?" Scootaloo asked.

"Ah don't remember really, but ah saw a pony in mah dream." Apple Bloom said.

"Who was that pony?" Sweetie Belle asked.

“I hope it wasn’t Jar Jar Binks.” Scootaloo said.

"You know that new pony, Flare?" Apple Bloom asked.

"Who’s that?” Scootaloo asked.

“He’s the newest pony in town. He comes from Mareami, and decided to move here to make some new friends, and get rid of all the stress from his hometown.” Apple Bloom said.

"He's also the manager of the pizza parlor near the park." Sweetie Belle said. "I have to say, the food he makes over there: deeeelicious!"

"So ah was thinkin'; if Flare was in mah dream after ah got mah cutie mark, then that could mean he was responsible for gettin' it!" Apple Bloom said excitedly.

"Maybe we can all get our cutie marks with Flare's help too.” Sweetie Belle thought. "So, are we all going to see Flare?"

"Sure, why not? I’m pretty sure he’d give better cutie mark advice than Allan Sherman.” Scootaloo said.

Allan Sherman pops out of nowhere and starts singing, “Cutie Mark Crusaders and I got a tip for you, just do what I say if you get any clue, how about you make the dancing, Scootaloo; you sing the song, Sweetie Belle; and you make the props, Apple Bloom.”

“But Mr. Allan Sherman I am too shy to sing, I’d rather decorate like my sister Rarity…” Sweetie Belle sang.

“I can’t dance, I’d rather ROCK IT LOUD!” Scootaloo sang.

“I can do Kung Fu, that could help a lot.” Apple Bloom sang.

“But that was good advice, good advice, good advice costs nothing and it’s worth the price.” Allan Sherman sang. “I dunno how Equestria can live another day without my gooood aaaaaadvice!”

Anyways, over at my shop, business had been well so far; although, maybe it’s a little too well; the shop is getting crowded! Anyways, I was giving Derpy an order to deliver to somepony in town.

"Sup, my crazy-eyed sista? Listen, we have two hay and shroom pizzas need to get delivered to Berry Punch, capiche?" I asked Derpy.

"You can count on me, Mr. Boss!" Derpy cheered as she skipped towards the door with the pizzas, but then she banged into the wall. The Cutie Mark Crusaders walk inside the shop and to the bar area, where I am now.

"Howdy, Flare!" Apple Bloom greeted me.

“Hey, hey, hey! No fillies allowed in the bar area!” I said.

“Flare, ya don’t remember me? Ah’m Applejack’s sister Apple Bloom.” Apple Bloom said.

“Oh yeah, the flowered apple! LAWL!” I teased.

“And this here are mah friends Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo.” Apple Bloom introduced her friends.

“What’s up Sweet Ding-Ding, and loo-loo Scoota-la-loo?” I asked

“Nice to meet you, Mr. Gun!” Sweetie Belle said, shaking my hoof.

“Please, Mr. Gun is my father, and my uncle, and my grandpa, and my sister.” I said. “Everypony calls me Flare.”

“So Flare, we have a slight problem, and we want you to help us.” Scootaloo said.

“Sure, but can I ask you girls a question?” I asked.

“Sure.” Apple Bloom said.

“Ok, can I ask you another one?” I asked.

“Umm…. Alright.” Sweetie Belle said.

“Good. Can I ask you two more questions now?” I asked.

“What were the other questions?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“He was making a joke about the questions he asked that was if he wanted to ask us a question.” Scootaloo said.

“Wow, you really blown my mind there, Scoota-ah-loo.” I said.

“It’s Scootaloo.” Scootaloo corrected me.

"Well, ah had a dream last night!” Apple Bloom said.

“So did Martian Luther King, but look where he ended up.” I said.

"Well, this particular dream…. you were in it!" Apple Bloom said.

"Oh really? Happy face! That is so interesting! Flare's happy face that you thought about him in your sleep! Winky face." I said happily as I winked.

Apple Bloom giggled and said, "Anyway, the dream was about me getting mah cutie mark. So that gave me a clue: maybe you're responsible for me getting it!"

"Yeah, and possibly Scootaloo and I too." Sweetie Belle thought.

"Oh hey, you rhymed! Scootaloo, and I too. Maybe your cutie mark will be something to do with making poetry!" I teased.

"So can you help us?" Scootaloo asked.

"I-D-K. CAN I help you? Of course I can! I help all my friends in need! LAWL Sweetie Belle you're so silly! Silly Billy! Praise the wizards!" I shouted.

"So what can we do to get our cutie marks?" Apple Bloom asked.

"How about answering this question first. What came first, the dragon or the egg?" I asked.

The crusaders got confused and started to think. "Uhhh.... the egg?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Then who created the egg?" I asked.

"Then it's the dragon!" Scootaloo said.

"Then where did the dragon come from?" I teased and chuckled.

"What's the answer then?" Scootaloo asked.

"Exactly! There is no real answer! Like the question I keep asking, why do they name Call of Duty: Modern Warfare with a four in it?" I asked.

"Ah never played Call of Duty, but ah suppose that’s true.” Apple Bloom said.

“I heard that series sucks.” Scootaloo said. “Then again, who am I to judge?”

"So if you silly fillies want to earn your flank tattoos, then maybe you can do some work around here for me! You three can earn them by working for me.” I suggested.

"Sounds good! Maybe that can also give us Community Service hours. We need those if we're going to collage!" Apple Bloom said.

"Or flight collage!" Scoots added.

"Oh, and you think you're going to be over there anyway, figuring that you can't fly?" Sweetie Belle teased her, then her and Apple Bloom laughed. Scootaloo gave them both an ugly look.

“You can’t fly?” I asked Scoots.

“Unfortunately.” Scoots said upsettingly.

“Hey, don’t feel bad. I can’t fly either.” I said as I placed my hoof on her shoulder to comfort her.

“You’re not even a Pegasus though.” Scoots corrected me
.
“So? I still can’t fly.” I said. "Anyways, time to get on the edge of glory and start getting your flank tattoos!” I then gave Sweetie Belle a mop and a bucket. "Here Sweetie, your sister loves to clean stuff, maybe you can help by mopping the floors."

"Seriously, Flare? Mopping the floors? I thought we were going to be cooking pizza with you!?" Sweetie Belle whined.

"You three are not yet ready for the kitchen; time to start off small. Maybe your what-you-call-it mark will be cleaning floors! That'd be awesome, huh? Lion face." I suggested.

Sweetie Belle got upset and mumbled to herself as she started mopping the floor. I looked over at Apple Bloom and said, "Now for your awesome job…” I started.

"Are you sure it's going to be awesome?" Apple Bloom asked.

"Well it's waaaay better than cleaning that teak-wood floor!" I said.

"What do you want me to do boss?" Apple Bloom asked with a smile and saluted at me.

I took out some bathroom cleaning supplies and gave them to her. "The lavatories are nasty right now. That kid Snails ate a bread stick off the floor and got sick, so..... I don't want to mention it. Get on it, girl! I have faith in you! Smiley face." I said with a smile. Apple Bloom wasn't happy though, so she walked into the bathroom with the cleaning supplies.

"Time for your job, little Scootie!" I said to her.

"I better not be cleaning anything!" Scootaloo said angrily.

"Oh no! You won't be cleaning a thing! I got the perfect job for you; and trust me, it's going to be waaay more better than Apple Bloom or Sweetie Belle's jobs." I said.

”More better?” Scoots asked.

“Yes, more better.” I said again because I didn't really do well in English class.

"Oh really?" Scoots asked.

"Really, really!" I said.

"WOW! I can't wait to do it!" Scootaloo said as she started hopping excitedly. “So what’s my awesome job going to be?” Just then, a little while after, she was outside wearing a pizza costume, and holding up a sign saying; "Buy 1 get 1 free sale at Flare's Pizza Shop!" Scootaloo didn't like it; she had that annoyed look on her face. Diamond Tiara and her friend Silver Spoon, who are two ponies from the crusader's school came up to Scootaloo and started harrassing her like always, even though I never witnessed it.

"Well, well, well! If it isn't Scootaloo!" Diamond Tiara teased.

"More like stupidloo!" Silver Spoon teased, and they both laughed.

"Wow, you sure look delicious! Does it come with extra loser?" Diamond Tiara teased, and they both laughed again. Scootaloo started to get very angry.

"Hey, at least I have a job! I'm going to get volunteering hours and you won't!" Scootaloo got back at them.

"Who needs volunteering? The collage I'm going to doesn't need it. It's perfect for rich fillies, like myself." Diamond said.

"C'mon Diamond, cut her some slice!" Silver Spoon teased, then they both laughed again. Scootaloo started to really get mad. “Ok, that’s it, I had enough of you!” Scoots got so mad that she started tackling Diamond Tiara. The other crusaders and I saw what was going on from inside, so we went outside to help.

"Stop it! Stop it right now! Holy Wizard of Hope, what's going on here?" I asked as I broke up the fight.

Diamond Tiara stood up with sad looking eyes, and she started to tear up and she said; "Well.....” she sniffled. “.... I was going inside your shop for a nice healthy pizza, and then your employee here started beating up a fellow customer for no reason!" Diamond Tiara whined, and then she started to fake cry, and Silver Spoon started hugging her.

"NO!" Scootaloo yelled. "She's making that all up! Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon here started to tease me, and I couldn't help it! They were teasing me and this costume!"

"Surprise face!" I gasped. I looked at Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon with an upsetting look on my face. "This costume is not stupid! You tease this costume, you tease me, and Rarity! She's the one who made it!"

"No, the costume's fine, sir! It's just..... uhhh...." Silver Spoon said, but she didn't know what to say.

"Crystal Hat? Golden Fork? Please apologize." I asked.

Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon felt guilty and apologized to Scootaloo. "Sorry, Scootaloo." they said.

"What? Oh, I didn't mean apologize to Scootaloo, I-D-C what you girls do in your free time, I wanted you to apologize to the costume." I demanded.

Diamond and Silver looked at each other confusingly. Then they said, "Uhh, sorry costume?"

I patted Silver Spoon on the head. "There, there! Now that wasn't so hard right?” I leaned my head towards Scootaloo’s costume and placed my ear on it. “What's that costume? He says he accepts your apology." I said to the girls. Silver and Diamond looked at each other again confusingly. "Now that we're all friends now, how about some pizza? Buy one get one free sale is going on." I said excitedly.

"Of course, why not?" Diamond Tiara said as she and Silver Spoon walked awkwardly into the shop.

"Thanks for standing up for me." Scoots said. "You really confused them."

"I did? Oh... I wasn't really trying to. Clothing has feelings too, you know." I said.

"Umm, I don't think so." Scoots said.

"Rarity said so, I was only repeating what she said, and I somewhat agree with her. Why don't inaminate objects get respect?" I asked. It's really easy to confuse kids, but that's enough confusing for now. After a few hours went by, it was closing time. As I locked the door, the crusaders came up me and started complaining.

"We did all you said, Flare, and we still don't have our cutie marks!" Apple Bloom complained.

"Patience young ones!" I said. "No patience leads to the dark side, and you'll never get your cutie marks if you complain."

"Ooookay, so what do we do now?" Scootaloo asked.

"So the Pizza shop isn't your destiny, but there's lots of cool junk all around Ponyville. How about you follow me and I'll show you how the Flarester likes to roll!" I said as I laughed, and I started bouncing around town and started singing, and doing random stuff that matches what I sang. It goes like this:

"So if you want your flank tattoos, I will be your guide
There are so many things in the world if you gave it a try
Like cutting in front of a line, or give an old pony a drink
Or you can challenge your friends to staring contest, if you promise not to blink!” I sang as I wore a weeping angel costume.

Apple Bloom sang next:
"But Flare, what can we do, we're just three average fillies....
We get teased for our blank flanks....."

I sang next:
".... say cheese!" I flashed a camera and took a picture of her while she wasn't noticing.
"Now if you want your flank tattoos, you can try that
Writing a book about World Party II, or even the Cat in the Hat.
But don't get copyright infringement, because then you'll totally get sued
You can try beating up a blender who knows great kung fu!"

Scootaloo sang next:
"Please Flare, make some sense, I don't get what you're saying
We need your help right now, but we have no money for paying."

"Oh that sucks, I won't help you then." I said.

"WHAT!?" the CMCs cried out.

"I'm only messing with ya, oh my Luna!" I teased I continued singing:
"So if you want your flank tattoo, you will certainly shine.
Instead you're not anypony's son.... get it? Sun?" The CMCs all glared at me. "Eh, everypony's a critic. So, what are you girls good at?"

Sweetie Belle sang:
"I am good at singing, decorating, and sparks
Also good at writing, drawing, and even....." Then everypony heared somepony pass gas. "That wasn't me." Sweetie said nervously.

The four of them started singing at the same time:
"So if we want our flank tattoos, we have to do our best
Like falling into the SPARTA pit, and taking the SAT test
As long as we believe, nothing will stop us.
And we got lots of help, from a toy buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuus!" The song then ends at a cut and shave style ending.

"Wait, we do?" Scoots asked.

I took the three fillies over to the Bungee Jumping place over at the other side of town, and I gave them a suggestion on what they should do; “Kay kay, girls. One way of getting your cutie buh-tooties is trying to do something you love. You girls like bungee jumping?”

“Heck yeah I do!” Scoots yelled.

“I dunno, it looks scary.” Sweetie Belle said frightened.

“Don’t worry, Sweetie Belle. You like jumping on trampolines, don’t you?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Yeah, but not with a wire attached to a belt around my waist.” Sweetie Belle said.

“C’mon, this will be fun! It’s like jumping your daddy’s knee.” I said.

“My daddy.” Apple Bloom said to herself. “Ah haven’t seen mah daddy in forever. If he or mom were around, they’d help me get mah cutie mark. Ah haven’t seen my mom since she took me shopping for school supplies.”

A cutaway shows Bulk Biceps (the muscular pony that shouts ‘YEAH’) dressed in Apple Bloom’s mom’s clothes; he asked her, “Alright, sweetie, you ready to get some notebooks, and protractors, and slacks?”

“Ah want blue jeans.” Apple Bloom whined.

“You’re getting SLACKS!” Bulk Biceps yelled. The cutaway ends.

After Scootaloo and Apple Bloom had a turn on the bungee jump simulation, it was Sweetie Belle’s turn. “Alright, Sweets, your turn!” I said.

“I dunno if I wanna do this.” Sweetie Belle said frightened.

“C’mon Sweetie Belle, it’ll be fun!” Scootaloo encouraged her.

“Well…. I do like fun.” Sweetie Belle said, smiling a bit. Make that a lesson to you all that if you say to a pony that something is fun, they’ll most likely do it, but that doesn't mean they're always right. Sweetie Belle walked over to the bungee jump trampoline, and the pony supervising the ride put a belt on Sweetie Belle’s waist.

“Despite the last pony getting so sick his spleen bursted out, you should do just fine, Sweets.” I said.

“WHAT?!” Sweetie yelled. “Get me off this ride!” But it was too late, the jumping has already started. Sweetie started screaming.

“That’s the spirit, Sweets! I knew you’d love the ride!” I yelled out.

“I…. think…. I’m….get…. ing…. sick!” Sweetie yelled out while hopping on the ride.

After a little while, the four of us walked over to my trailer, and Spike waited outside it.

"Sup brah?" I greeted him.

"What’s up, Flare?” Spike asked as we gave each other a bro-hoof. "Hey crusaders! What are they doing here?"

"Flare's going to help us get our cutie marks by teaching us how to play video games!" Sweeite Belle cheered.

“Yeah, since I couldn’t find anything else in Ponyville that’ll help them get their flank icons, then maybe I have something here that might help.” I explained.

"Really? Well if it's video games you want to learn, you've come to the right place! Flare here is a pro at the games!" Spike said.

"To tell the truth, Spike here actually learned my video games pretty quick. He's turning into a pro on the XBUCKS himself!" I said as I patted Spike on the head.

"Wow, if playing video games is easy, then we'll for sure get our cutie marks!" Scootaloo cheered.

I turned off my security system and we all walked inside. We headed inside the lounge where the XBUCKS is.

"Wow! Sure is pretty awesome in here! It looks bigger on the inside.” Apple Bloom said as she observed.

“Yeah, I get that a lot, and so does a certain Time Lord.” I said. “Come to think of it, is this place made out of Time Lord technology?”

“What? You didn’t make this?” Scoots asked.

“No, I found it like this.” I said. "Anyways, come get a bean bag chair and I'll show you how to play some games!"

"Ooh! Play this one!" Spike suggested holding one of my games.

"Halo: Reach?” I asked. “Nah, that seems a little too extreme for these munchkins. Go fetch Borderlands.”

"What's this game about?" Sweetie Belle asked, as she sat down on the sofa.

"Umm.... Sweetie.... that's where I sit." I said, pointing to where she's sitting at.

"Sit next to me!" Sweetie suggested.

I went silent for a second, but then I shook my head and said; "Nooo, I sit there."

"What's the difference?" Sweetie asked.

"What's the difference?" I asked.

"Here we go!" Spike said with an annoyed tone.

"In the winter, that chair is close enough to the radiator to remain warm, yet not so close for it being too hot. It represents a spot where a cross-breeze is pathed by opening windows there and there. It faces the TV where it's not direct so I can talk to ponies, yet not so close where it looks distorted. I can go on, but..... I think I made my point." I explained.

"So.... you want me to move?" Sweetie asked.

"Well, I...." I was about to say, but Spike cuts me off.

"Just sit somewhere else!" he requested.

"Fine." I said with an attitude. I started walking around the room to find a place to sit, but there was no place I would agree on. I nearly sat down at certain places, but I got back up, and I still couldn't agree of where to sit.

Eventually Spike got impatient and yelled; "Flare, SIT!" I then sat down at the nearest spot. It wouldn't agree with me, but I went with it.

"So what's this game about?" Sweetie asked.

"Borderlands; let me tell you about Borderlands.” I started. “Well, Borderlands is about a group of Mexicans that team up and try to cross the border to America. Since they can’t get a visa for all of their children, they just have to sneak pass the American guards and try to get to the other side without getting spotted.”

A cutaway shows a group of Mexican ponies trying to sneak passed the American guards, and try to cross the border. As they hid, the parents signal all 34 of their children to come through because the path is clear. They eventually go through, and then they had to cross through traffic; so the Mexicans hop like a frog through the traffic without getting runned over; they cross a river, and head to the safe zone where the level ends. As the level ended, the Mexicans cheered, and the cutaway ends as well.

“Sounds boring.” Sweetie Belle said.

“It is boring.” I said.

“C’mon, show them Reach.” Spike suggested.

“They’re not ready for Reach.” I said.

“C’mon Flare, we can handle anything!” Scoots said.

“Well…. If you say so; but I must warn you, you may lose your temper in this game.” I warned them.

“Trust me, our tempers are always sadness and defeat, but this is only a video game. How much harm can it do?” Scoots asked.

“Don’t jinx it.” Spike said.

“So what’s this game about?” Sweetie asked.

"An alien race known as the covenant is at war with the humans. They attack one of their planets. One planet is called Reach. The covenant came to attack, and YOU, meaning Noble 6 who is Reach's main character, has to save the planet and kill all the aliens!" I explained

"Killing? Isn't killing.... bad?" Apple Bloom asked.

"It's only bad if you do it in real life. Never kill in real life! Killing in a video game, however, is a different story. Lion face." I explained.

"I dunno about you girls, but I'm in!" Scoots said. She tries to pick up one of the XBUCKS controllers, but can't because she has no fingers. "How do you hold this thing? I don't have a horn like you!"

"Oh right, I forgot. See that closet over there?" I pointed towards the closet.

"Yeah." Scoots nodded.

"That's a cool closet, isn't it?" I asked.

"Yeah, I guess." Scoots said as she observed the closet.

"Now go through that trunk over there, and see if you can find some of those robotic fingers. It'll help you play this game." I suggested. Scootaloo walks to the closet and grabs two pairs of fingers. She sits back down on the bean bag and picks up the controller.

"Wow, this thing is so much easier to hold!" Scoots said. I started to chuckle.

"What's so funny?" Scootaloo asked.

"Nothing, nothing. Forget it." I said.

"Where did you get these fingers?" Scoots asked.

"They came with the place. They were originally made for tickling, but I don't like being tickled, and I don't like tickling because I don't like doing stuff to other ponies that I don't like them doing to me." I explained.

"It's weird that you can't tickle yourself though, no matter how much you try." Spike said.

"So what do I do now?" Scoots asked.

"Choose your own avatar." I said.

"Like the movie, right?" Scoots asked.

"Kinda. It means you can decorate a model for yourself when you're on XBUCKS.” I said.

"Cool! Like decorating?" Apple Bloom asked.

"Just like my sister!" Sweetie Belle said excitedly.

So Scootaloo created her avatar, and they started up the main menu on Halo: Reach.

"What do you want to do, Scootaloo?" I asked. "Oooh I rhymed! Praise the Wizards! Note to self: I should stop saying that every few seconds."

"What's there to do?" Scoots asked.

"There's campaign mode, where you save Reach from the aliens. It's singleplayer, which means you'll be by yourself; unless we're doing co-op mode. Then you get a partner to play along with you!" I explained.

"What's Forge?" Apple Bloom asked.

"It means you can edit maps on Reach to make it more suitable for your battles on multiplayer. It's also good for machinima!" I explained.

"Multiplayer? Does that mean you save Reach with multiple players?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Not exactly. You actually fight your partner in-game. It's pretty fun. Spike and I do it sometimes." I said.

"But if you have the internet connected, you can play other players from around the world!" Spike said.

"No you don't." I said.

"What? But I thought you said...." Spike said confusingly.

"I was J-King you, brah. Jeez; you’re so gullible.” I said.

"Wow really? You can fight other players from around the world?" Scoots asked.

"Yep! You can team up too if you want. But I must warn you, fighting players is not like fighting NPCs from singleplayer." I said.

"NPCs? I thought we were killing aliens?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"NPCs are non-player characters. They're easier to fight, depending which difficulty you're in. NPCs are like robots. They do what they're programmed to do." I said.

"Wow! Robotic aliens!" Apple Bloom said excitedly.

"Yeah, something like that." I said as I started the game. We played slayer mode, playing the Spire map.

"So how do we do this?" Scoots asked.

"Move the left joystick to walk. Move the right joystick to look around. The back top-right button is to shoot....." I explained the controls to Scootaloo. It took alot of practice, but she finally got the hang of it; although she kept on dying. Every time she died she got more and more angry. She even eventually screamed and threw the controller at the soda machine in the room, and a Dr. Hooves soda came out.

"NICE Scoots! I never thought you can get a soda like that!" I said excitedly.

"This game is so stupid and hard!" Scoots yelled.

"I wanna try it! But I wanna do singleplayer. You said it's easier." Apple Bloom said.

"Alright! Good choice! Video game cadets should always take it slow before going into the front lines, just like Austin Powers!” I said.

A cutaway shows Austin Powers being all groovy with a random mare on the streets, and he said, “Hey baby, wanna go grab some coffee. Sounds really groovy, baby!”

“Coffee? That’s it? Just coffee?” the mare asked.

“I have to start off slow, baby. I can’t let my sensei down.” Austin Powers said.

“You done well, grasshopper. Giggity!” Glenn Quagmire said, bowing to his student. The cutaway ends.

After hours went by, and neither Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, nor Scootaloo did well on the game. They tried a couple of my other games too, but that didn’t seem to work. Nopony even got a cutie mark. Soon they tried the PC games, but that didn't work. The crusaders eventually got really stressed out. So I took them to my fish tank. After a few minutes watching my fish, they eventually calmed down.

"Oh Flare, we tried everything you love to do, and we still don't have our cutie marks! Maybe mah dream was just a dream, it wasn't the future at all." Apple Bloom said very sadly.

"There there, Apple Bloom! There there!" I said placing my left hoof on Apple Bloom's back. "I know one day you'll get your flank tattoos. You just have to wait. Like I said, you have to be patient, otherwise it's down the dark side, you go."

“But we’ve been waiting a long time!” Apple Bloom whined.

“Hey, just because I haven’t waited a long time doesn’t mean you will either.” I said in a calming voice.

”What?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Look, my point is: it takes time to find out what you’re destinies are.” I said.

“Like we heard that a million times.” Scootaloo complained, rolling her eyes. “All this stress for nothing!”

“Hey, did you have fun at least?” I asked.

“Not really.” Scoots said.

“I did!” Sweetie Belle yelled.

“Ah actually liked cleanin’ yer shop better.” Apple Bloom said.

“Well, I must say, the bungee jumping was…. Kinda fun.” Scoots said.

“See? Exactly! If you’re going to find out what your destinies are, then do something you all love to do. For what was unsuccessful today, at least you know in the future, you don’t do those things again, because they’re useless, and dumb.” I said.

"You know Flare, you're right!" Sweetie Belle said putting a smile on her face. "Even though we can't wait for our cutie marks forever, someday we'll get them, but as we try, we should make the best of it!”

"And who cares if everypony in all of Ponyville has cutie marks before we do, we'll get them one day! We just have to keep tryin' and not give up!" Apple Bloom said with a smile on her face.

“Next time, we’re going to try to get our cutie marks in skateboard tricks!” Scootaloo said.

“No way, we’re getting our cutie marks in animation!” Sweetie Belle said.

“Ah say we should get them by planting trees near outhouses!” Apple Bloom said.

“YEAH!” Sweetie and Scoots both yelled in excitement, but they stopped quickly. “Wait, what?”

“Well, it does sound like fun.” Apple Bloom said.

"Alright! Thanks for everything Flare, you're the best!" Sweetie Belle said.

“I’m not the best, I’m one of the worst. I’m pretty surprised you put up with me today.” I said.

“AppleJack warned us ahead, so don’t y’all worry.” Apple Bloom winked at me.

"If you have any other awesome stuff to teach us that you think we'll be good at, let us know. The video games are just not our thing." Scootaloo said.

"Hugs?" I asked as I held out my arms. "Where's the love? The love? The love?" The crusaders went to me and gave me a hug. Spike wanted a hug too, so he held out his arms and started to walk towards us. "Hey! This is a hug between me and the crusaders! Stay outta it!" I said to Spike.

"Whatever, I didn't want a hug anyway!" Spike said in jealousy.

"Bye, Flare! Thanks for everything!" they all said, and they walked out of the trailer. As they were walking out to the streets of Ponyville, it showed signs on each of their backs. Scootaloo's sign said, "Forever a dodo." Sweetie Belle's sign said, "I'm bad at cleaning floors." and Apple Bloom's sign said, "I wish Flare was my brother instead of Big Mac."

Spike and I chuckled as we watched the crusaders head home, then we gave each other a bro-hoof. Then I wrote a letter to Luna:

"Dear Princess Luna,
What Mr. Flare here learned today was helping those in need, which he already knew, but you know what? I know three little fillies need to escape the big bad bullies by earning their flank tattoos. I'll do all I can to help, but it's nice settling once in a while from the new shop to try new stuff. What I learned today was: when you're trying to find out what you're good at, do what you love, not what you just think you're good at.
Your loyal subject,
Flank Poop, heheheheh, I mean Flare Gun.
PS: I gotta remember to stop writing in pen. I just remembered Flank Poop isn’t polite to a princess. I’d cross it out, but then you’d wonder what’s underneath it, which might leave you in suspense for the rest of your life finding out what it is.”

Author's Note

This chapter's story didn't change all that much; I just added a couple of more scenes, added cutaways, and changed the friendship lesson around from a lesson that was already used in the show, to something a wee-bit similar. It was the best I could do with this chapter, not enough people wanted to help me, so sorry.

The Garlic Roll Batter Anomaly

It's been three weeks since Lord Thorn came to town; Fluttershy's at her house taking care of her animal friends; although she's been having a rough time getting them under control. She bathes them, feeds them, and takes care of them all by herself. Right now, she's trying to bathe Angel, but he refuses to go into the tub.

"C'mon Angel! Don't you want to be clean?" Fluttershy asked her dirty bunny. Angel shakes his head no. "But Angel, if you don't get clean, you'll get sick!" Angel shrugs hinting that he doesn’t care.

"Oh what am I going to do? What am I going to do?" Fluttershy asked herself with her hooves covering her face.

Just then Fluttershy heard three knocks on her door and heard somepony call her name. "Hm, I wonder who that could be?" Fluttershy asked herself as she flew out. Angel giggled and tried to tip-toe away, but then Fluttershy comes in, catching Angel off guard and forces him into the tub. Angel punched the water and gave Fluttershy an annoyed look. Fluttershy smiled and gave out a squee. Fluttershy flies to the door,and opens it. Fluttershy's friend Flare (which is me) zooms right to her like the Flash.

"FLUTTERSHY?! FLUTTERSHY?! FLUTTERSHY?!" I yelled, holding a little shoe box on my hooves.

"Oh my gosh, Flare! What happened?" Fluttershy asked.

"My fish! My fish! My fish!" I yelled

"Yes? Yes? Yes?" Fluttershy asked.

"He's, he's, he's....." I yelled

"What? What? What?" Fluttershy asked.

"Passed, passed, passed. Crying face; crying face; crying face." I said worryingly.

Fluttershy was in shock and gasped. "Oh my goodness, Flare. I am so sorry. I... I dunno what to say." Fluttershy said very sadly.

"This this this, was was was, my my my, elder elder elder, fish fish fish." I said.

"Oh Flare? I don't want to be rude, but... um... why are you saying everything three times? I mean... I'm just asking... that's all. Sorry." Fluttershy asked.

"I-D-K." I said, then he crossed his eyes and said in a hillbilly voice; "Because I want to; yelk, yelk, garsh!”

Suddenly, Goofy the talking Disney dog slaps me on the back of my head with his glove and he says angrily, “I’ll sue ya for stealin’ my catch phrase.”

Fluttershy placed her hoof on my shoulder and said very sadly; "I am so sorry for your loss."

I just sniffed and said, "It's cool, Flutters.”

Fluttershy opened the shoebox to take a peek and saw the passed-away fish, but was concerned because that's not a fish she's seen before. "Uh, Flare?" Fluttershy started. "I’m... umm... sorry, but... I never seen this fish before. He doesn't look like Darrel, Piddles, Yoyo, Rainbow, Dorthey, or Pearl."

"Oh, this is Hoops; he was a catfish. He was an elder fish in the tank. He got old, and usually stays inside one of the little barrels or vases that were inside the tank. He started doing that before I even moved to Ponyville. I was worried, but now... crying face." I said as I closed my eyes, looked down, and tears ran down my eyes.

Fluttershy hugged me and said; "There there, Flare. There there."

I sniffed, rubbed my eyes and said; "Oh, you rhymed!"

“What?” Fluttershy asked. “Oh, I guess I did."

I smiled at Fluttershy, but then looked down sad at the fish tank again. "Flutters?"

"Yes, Flare?" Fluttershy asked.

"You're great with animals, right?" I asked.

"Of course, you know that! I mean... you did... right?" Fluttershy asked.

"Yeah, and you take care of animals, such as fish right?" I asked.

"Well... um... yes, I believe I do." She nodded.

"Well.” I sniffled. “You want to have a funeral for him? Everypony else is busy at the moment."

"Of course.” She smiled.

I smiled too. “Good; I hope this will be a better funeral than the time I was at my great-uncle’s Luger Gun.”

A cutaway shows me and my family at a church, all sitting in rows, listening to the priest say words on Uncle Luger’s behalf. “Fillies and gentlecolts, we’re gathered here today to honor a fellow stallion that has been set free upon this Earth, and casted away into the great stable in the sky!” the priest said. “Let us pray and remember all of the good our fellow Luger Gun has given us over the years.”

“Wow, this is the strangest wedding I've ever been in.” I said. The cutaway ends.

Outside, it started to rain. Fluttershy and I were outside, wearing raincoats, and I held the box that contained Hoops. I was teary-eyed as I set the box down at a hole we dug up.

"Dear Wizards of Hope, Strength, and Feelings." I began. "Today we're honoring a lost member of our family, but we're also celebrating, because Hoops was a great fish, and we were very happy face to have him in our lives; although nothing and nopony last's forever, Hoops will never be forgotten, and he'll always be there right by our sides while I'm getting very upset, because dragons and wolves keep coming at random times in Skyrim trying to kill me, and it's getting very annoying. Sometimes I need a guard's help, but they keep saying annoying arrow in the knee jokes, and sometimes I can't escape the fight because fast travel doesn't work when enemies are nearby, and let's not forget, they never give me the chance to heal; and sometimes...."

"Uh, Flare.... umm... I'm sorry, but... um... can't you cut to the chase? I mean, if that's okay." Fluttershy asked.

"Sure, sista." I said. "But my point is, Hoops will always be around, in our hearts, our souls, and our minds."

"Wow, Flare. That was very sweet!" Fluttershy said with tears in her eyes too.

"Smiley face. You want to say a few words?" I asked her.

"Sure.” She nodded. "I never knew Hoops, but if he was a live fish that Flare loved, I feel the same way.”

"Goodbye Hoops. May the Wizards be with you." I said to Hoop as I filled the hole with the box inside; Fluttershy then picked some flowers from her garden and placed them on the grave.

“You really care about your fish, don’t you?” Flutters asked.

“Of course I do! I’d do anything to keep them safe, happy, and healthy, because I know one day they’d do the same for me.” I said.

A cutaway shows me as an old stallion, laying down on a hospital bed, along with a couple of my fish who’s standing right beside me, 5 feet tall, and comforting my side body. A doctor came in with a clipboard and said, “Sir, I’m not sure if we can proceed with this medical procedure; this stallion has no insurance.” He said.

“I don’t care what it takes!” Rainbow yelled and threw a bunch of bits at the doctor. “Just make Flare well again!”

I gently opened one of my eyes and whispered, “Thank you, fish.” The cutaway ends.

Fluttershy and I walked back inside her house and took off our raincoats. "Hey Flutters, thanks for everything! You were pretty much the only one available for this small event." I said thankfully.

"Oh it's really no big deal, animals and fish are ponies too." She said.

"Well I'm glad you understand." I said giving her a smile. "Well I have to get back to the store now, I'll see you later."

"Oh, Flare wait." She stopped me. "It's raining pretty hard out there, how about... I mean if it's okay... you can stay here for a little bit, until it... you know... clears up?" Fluttershy smiled and gave a squee.

"Alright, sounds good." I said as I look at the time from my phone. "I'm still on my lunch break anyway, but I didn't have anything yet."

"Well allow me to treat you to lunch.” Fluttershy offered.

"You know I can't say no to food! I can eat almost anything that's legally edible, except for coleslaw; I hate coleslaw!” I said.

“Why not?” she asked.

“You’re crazy if you think putting cabbage, carrots, and mayo together like that is a good idea. That’s disgusting!” I said.

"Well I have just the thing for you! Be right back!" Fluttershy said as she walks to her kitchen to whip something up.

Just then, my stomach rumbles. "Uh oh. Flutters, I have to use the lavatory."

"Sure, it's up the stairs, first door on your right." Fluttershy said from the kitchen.

"Thanks!" I said as I ran to the bathroom quickly and sat on the toilet. "Sigh, much better! I knew I shouldn've had those burritos for breakfast."

I relaxed on the pot for a little while, and since I wasn't doing anything, I decided to take my phone out to update my Facebook status. While I was looking at my Facebook status, I started to chuckle because I saw a funny meme that featured Rory Williams from Doctor Who, while wearing a Roman soldier outfit, and pulling the Pandorica out of the stonehedge, and on the bottom of the picture, it says: ‘Rory Williams: Making everyone else’s boyfriend look bad since 102 AD’. “Wish I had a boyfriend like that.” I chuckled.

Just as I was chuckling, I looked over at the bathtub next to me and saw a wrinkled Angel staring at me. "SURPRISE FACE!" I yelled. I started screaming and ran out of the bathroom with a piece of toilet paper stuck on my back left shoe. "Oh whoops, forgot to wash my hoves." I said calmly; so I ran back into the bathroom to wash his hooves, and then started to run out screaming again.

"Whoa, whoa! What's going on?" Fluttershy asked.

"There's a monster in your lavatory!" I yelled.

"A monster? Oh no! Angel's in there!" Fluttershy cried as she runs into the bathroom and sees Angel all wrinkled up in the tub. "Oh silly, Flare! It's just Angel!"

I walked into the bathroom and looked at Angel. "What happened to your bunny? Why does he look so old?" I asked.

"Oh no, Angel's not old, he was just in the tub too long." Fluttershy corrected me as Angel shakes himself around, drying himself off and he gets raggedy. The water goes all over Fluttershy. Fluttershy shakes the water off her, and the water goes back on Angel and me. Then Angel and I shook ourselves again,and the water went back on Fluttershy; then Fluttershy shakes herself again and the water went back on Angel and I.

"Alright this is really going nowhere." I pointed out as the each of us took a towel and dries themselves off.

"Now how about that lun-uh-aaaah-CHOO!" I sneezed.

“Bless you.” Flutters said.

“Thanks.” I said. “Getting a bit of an allergic reaction I’m ass-um-uh-AAAH-CHOO!” I sneezed again.

“Are you getting a cold?” Flutters asked.

“No, of course not; I’ve been getting myself to stick to cleanliness since the day I started getting acne.” I said.

A cutaway shows a doctor walking back to the room I’m in with a clipboard on his hoof, and the doctor said, “Mr. Gun, I assure you, what you have is acne, not an allergic reaction.” The doctor said.

“Are you sure?” I asked with a bunch of giant leaking pimples on my face that makes it look like an allergy rash.

“Quite sure.” The doctor said.

“QUITE sure, or for sure?” I asked.

“I am 100% sure that you’re not allergic to the age of 14. How many times a day do you wash your face?” the doctor asked.

“After I wake up, and after every meal, so that makes a total of 7.” I said.

“7?” the doctor asked.

“Yes, 7.” I nodded.

“Ew, don’t nod, you look like a leaky rotten peach.” The doctor said.

“So if the lack of washing face isn’t the problem, what is?” I asked.

“Are you bullied at school?” the doctor asked.

“Yes.” I said.

“Then I must suggest that you tell your bullies not to dump you in the trash bins all the time.” The doctor suggested. The cutaway ends.

Since my side of the story in this chapter is short, Spike told me a little story that he had with Crystal and Engineer that same day, so let’s switch over the story to them. Spike, Engineer, and Crystal were over at my shop having lunch, not really knowing I wasn’t there at that time until they were almost done eating.

“Mmm MMM! This pizza is delicious. Ah don’t think I’ve ever had a better pizza anywhere else!” Engie said.

“Shhhh.” Crystal shushed him, and then she whispered, “You don’t want to get the other pizza restaurants jealous.”

“Uhhh, ah don’t think they could really hear us, Crystal.” Engie corrected her, when suddenly the Little Caesars Greek stormed right inside the shop with a spear.

“Alright, I heard enough of this ‘Flare’s Pizza Parlor has the best pizza ever’ nonsense! This place is going down!” the Greek yelled.

“Nuh uh! I’m takin’ this place down! Toppin’ it over one buildin’ to another!” the Dominos domino bursted inside and yelled.

“Nooooo, pizza... is gonna send out for YOU!” Pizza the Hutt said as he slid inside, dropping his toppings all over the floor.

“See? Told you.” Crystal said to Engie.

“I hope Flare keeps his promise in selling gem toppings here soon.” Spike said.

“How can ya eat that stuff, Spike? Gems are harder than stone.” Engie asked.

“It’s because I brush my teeth using Colgate Strong Teeth.” Spike said, holding a tube of Colgate. “They say after you brush using this stuff, your teeth can chew through the toughest of edible items.”

“Then how come when I try to eat rocks after brushing using that stuff, my teeth still break?” Crystal asked.

“Did you remember to floss?” Spike asked.

“Ooooooooh!” Crystal said.

“See? See? It pays to floss.” Spike informed her.

“Ah don’t remember the last time ah went to the dentist; that’s why mah teeth here are made of titanium.” Engie said, showing his titanium teeth.

Just then Bon Bon shows up with a fresh batch of garlic rolls and places them on the table. “Alright, here’s a fresh batch of garlic rolls.” She said.

“Thanks, Bon Bon! These rolls sure are delicious!” Spike said.

“Oooo but these aren’t just any ordinary garlic rolls.” Bonnie added.

“What do ya mean?” Engie asked.

Lyra pops out of the flash from behind Bonnie and asked them, “Have you been keeping count of the garlic rolls you three have been eating today?”

“Of course, each of us had 30.” Spike said.

“You kept count?” Crystal asked.

“Yeah, a bit. These days I’ve been eating a lot more of Flare’s food than gems.” Spike said. “I started not to trust gems that much ever since I was a Sims character.”

A cutaway shows Spike in the Sims game, yawning and getting out of bed, and Spike looks up and sees an emerald floating on top of him. Spike mumbles gibberish, and a speech bubble that shows him holding a knife and fork appears, and then Spike starts jumping up and down trying to catch the emerald. Spike started to get fussy, and another speech bubble appears showing: #!*@ as Spike tried his hardest to get the emerald off from over his head. As Spike was jumping, he fell on the floor, rolling his eyes, and then another bubble appears showing a sad face. The cutaway ends.

"As Flare's business agreement says: for the first one that eats 32 garlic rolls gets a whole day of free pizza." Lyra said, reading the agreement.

"Free pizza for a whole day?!" Engie gasped.

"Oh snap! That's probably like..... 24 hours of free pizza!" Crystal said excitedly.

"Exactly! But the rule only applies until closing time." Bonnie said.

"I have to win this thing." Spike said.

"Nuh uh, ah'm gonna win this thing. DIBS!" Engie called out.

"Nope, I am. I already had one of these four rolls already." Crystal said with her mouth full.

Engie and Spike gasped as they both took a garlic roll and ate it; then suddenly, all three of them grabbed hold of the last garlic roll. "Let go of the roll!" Spike demanded.

"Nope, it's mine." Engie said.

"No, it's mine." Crystal said.

"I grabbed it first." Spike said.

"Nope, ah did." Engie said.

"I grabbed it earlier than first. I grabbed it zeroth!" Crystal said.

"If that actually counts, I grabbed it negative first." Spike said.

"Just let go of the roll already!" Engie yelled.

"No! I need that free pizza more than any of you! I'm poor!" Crystal said, pulling the roll towards her.

"I work my flank off all day for Twilight; I feel that I deserve it!" Spike yelled, pulling it towards himself.

"Alright this is gettin' ridculous!" Engie yelled.

"RIDCULOUS!" Crystal yelled in a British accent while waving a stick around like a magic wand.

"What was your first clue, Engie?" Spike asked obviously.

"Ah say whoever holds onto this roll the longest will get to eat it. Let go of the roll for even a second and you're out." Engie instructed.

"Sounds good." Crystal nodded.

"Alright, we'll start this when we get back to Flare's trailer." Engie said.

"Sure.... let go of the roll." Spike said mischievously.

"Alright we start now." Engie changed his mind. The three of my friends all stared at eachother, glaring at eachother, and making sure one of them lets go of the rolls at eachother. Yeah, I know that didn't sound right, but who's judging? Oh, right, the comments.

Anyways, as they were staring at eachother, Crystal said, "You know there's a new Supernatural coming on tonight." Just then the three of them stood up and started walking weirdly out of the booth and towards the door while still holding the roll, but when they were close to the door, Crystal said, "Wait! My cell phone." she pointed to the table showing her cell phone. The three of them walked weirdly back to the table so Crystal can retrieve her phone.

Back with Fluttershy and I, a few minutes later, I was sitting on Fluttershy's table waiting for the lunch. Fluttershy walks to the table giving me a nice hot bowl of soup.

"Sigh. Finally I've been waiting for you to get lunch!" I said impatiently.

"Oh, I'm so sorry Flare." Fluttershy said feeling bad for herself.

"Flutters relax, I was joking. J-K lawl. You know I can joke around, remember?" I asked. After I gulp down a spoonful of soup, I said as soup dripped down of my mouth; "Lawl remember Flutters?"

"Umm, you need a napkin?” Flutters asked.

"Affirmative! This is sure hittin' the spot!" I said happily.

"So Flare, may I ask you a question?" Fluttershy asked.

"You just did." I said.

"What?" Fluttershy asked feeling confused.

"Your question was, 'May I ask you a question'? Remember?" I asked.

“Oh, I didn’t realize it.” Flutters said.

"Lawl remember Flutters?" I asked.

Fluttershy gave me a smirk. "You like doing that don't you?" she asked.

"Do what?" I asked.

"With the jokes.” Flutters said.

“You really think I’m joking around?” I asked.

“I do.” Flutters nodded.

“Maybe I’m actually being serious and you may not know it.” I said. “I may be seriously black.”

“What?” Flutters asked.

“Never mind, Harry Potter reference.” I said as I continued eating my soup.

Just then, Fluttershy smiled. "Gotcha!" she said, and we both laughed, and after a few seconds of laughing, I sneezed again.

“Mind if I give you a temperature?” Fluttershy asked.

“Yes I do. I do not have a temper!” I yelled angrily.

“Oh, alright. I won’t bother.” Fluttershy said upsettignly

“You’re not bothering-“ I then sneezed again. “...Me; I just don’t need a temperature because I don’t have a temper.”

“Are you joking again?” Fluttershy asked.

“Yeah a bit, although when I was a kid, I thought temperature was a temper meter of some sort, but still, I’m pretty sure I don’t have a-“ I sneezed yet again. “...Temperature.”

Fluttershy placed her hoof on my forehead and gasped. "You're burning up, Flare."

"You saying I'm hot?" I asked seductively.

Fluttershy blushed and said, "Umm, I'm gonna get you a thermometer."

"For me, I think you'll need to-" I coughed. "Call 9-1-1 because I'm fire-burnin' hot for you, Fluttershy." Fluttershy started getting just a little bit comfortable with my flirting, so she just walked over to her bathroom to get a thermometer. I looked over at Angel who was standing next to me and I asked him, "So, you related to the Trix rabbit?" Angel shrugged. "Sometimes I feel I'm related to the Cinnamon Toast Crunch guy because I have good tastes that you can see!" Angel just looked at me like he was confused on what I was talking about. "Nevermind." Fluttershy eventually walked on back with the thermometer. "Ahh, there you are, Flutters! I was starting to miss you!"

"Oh, well.... thank you." Fluttershy said. "Now say ahhh."

"Ah." I said.

"At the same time opening wide." Fluttershy added.

"Why? You gonna give me medicine or something?" I asked.

"Not yet, I want to stick this thermometer in your mouth first." Fluttershy said.

"That's a thermometer?" I asked as I observed it.

"Yes." Fluttershy nodded.

"I thought thermometers were little tape-like things that moms place on pony's foreheads?" I asked.

"Maybe it was like that back in your old town, but this is all I have." Fluttershy said.

"Oh." I said.

"I'm sorry." Fluttershy said.

"It's not your fault." I said.

"Ok, so open wide." Fluttershy instructed as she tries to stick the thermometer in my mouth, but I moved my face out of the way, making an uncomfortable face.

"No." I said.

"Why not? Don't worry, it's clean." Fluttershy said.

"I don't like putting things in my mouth that I can't swallow." I said.

"I'm sorry, Flare, but I must check your temperature." Fluttershy said.

"Why? You're an animal expert, not a pony expert." I said.

"I know I'm not, but I'm always there to help out my friends in need, now please open up." Fluttershy demanded. I shook my head and moaned. "Please, Flare? Please, for me?" Fluttershy asked with puppy dog eyes.

"No, not the cuteness!" I begged. Her eyes grew bigger. "Ugh!" I groaned. "I cannot say no to a friend. Your eyes have nothing to do with it, just to let you know." I sniffled and opened my mouth, and Fluttershy stuck the thermometer in my mouth.

"There we go! See? That wasn't so hard, was it?" Fluttershy asked.

"I'm feeling very uncomfee with this in my mouth." I said.

"It's ok, Flare, it's ok." Fluttershy said as she gave me a hug, and leaned on me. "I know you're not feeling comfortable right now, but I'm here to help you in your time of need."

"I know, that's what really confuses me." I said.

"What do you mean?" Fluttershy asked.

"You're being too nice to me. Why?" I asked.

"That's what friends do for eachother." Fluttershy said.

"Is this part of a friendship lesson you're giving me, or you really saying that because you really like me?" I asked.

"Ummmmmmmmm..... both." Fluttershy smiled. I just sat there, not saying a thing. Nopony has ever cared for me that much before. What have I done for Fluttershy that makes her like me so much? It was really confusing. I knew Ponyville would be different from Mareami, but not this different.

"Sigh." I said.

"What?" Fluttershy asked.

"Forty five degree angle mouth face." I said.

"What's wrong?" Fluttershy asked.

"I'm confused." I said.

"Why?" Fluttershy asked.

"I'm feeling very cold all the sudden." I said.

"That's because you're under the weather right now." Fluttershy said as she took the thermometer out of my mouth and looking at it. "Oh my."

"What? Did you see lions and tigers and bears?" I asked.

"Your temperature is at 102.4." Fluttershy said.

"102.4, that's a radio station in Dubai." I said as I sneezed three times.

"I'm gonna take you home." Fluttershy offered.

"I'm fine, sista. I can walk myself home." I said.

"Not in this weather you're not." Fluttershy said.

"I have to go back to work. Lyra and Bonnie are waiting for me." I said.

"They'll be fine without you. You need your rest." Fluttershy said as she gave me a heavy raincoat to put on.

"Thanks, Flutters, but the raincoat itself is good enough." I said. "Oh, and it has a little white penguin on it! Lawl, I wouldn't be surprised if that penguin became the Pope."

"Let's go." Fluttershy said as she held an umbrella over my head and started to walk me home.

"Wait, my soup! I'm gonna take it to go." I said as I ran over towards the soup that Fluttershy made for me, took out a brown paper bag, and poured the soup inside. "That outta do it!" I said as some soup broth was dripping out from the bottom, and I walked back under Fluttershy's umbrella, and then she started walking me home. "You know, I'm actually thinking of writing a song about this moment. It'll be about two friends in the rain, and under an umbrella. I think it shall be called: Umbrella. I think this song would be pretty good to sing with Jay-Z."

"I think that song is taken, Flare." Fluttershy corrected me.

"Awww holy Wizard of Feelings! Ponies are always out there to steal my ideas!" I complained. "Well, then I can always make a song about singing in the rain. Maybe I'll even make a movie about that."

"I think that's taken too." Fluttershy said.

"REALLY?!" I yelled. "If you're telling me that somepony already wrote a song about raindrops falling on my head, I'm gonna totally flip out until cows come home!"

"Well... actually...." Fluttershy said.

"ANGRY FAAAAAAAAACE!" I yelled as I started spazing out, jumping up and down, and even kicked a rock, but I hurt my hoof as I did so, but that didn't stop me from kicking it some more!

Just then a taxi carriage drove by and dropped off a family of cows at their home. "Ah, it's so good to be home from our vacation!" the father said. "And good thing the house wasn't burned down or broke into while we were gone, otherwise we'd have to moooooooove somewhere else."

"I wish we visited Hindu more often though." the wife said.

"Ok the cows are home, I'm not gonna flip out anymore." I said to Fluttershy calmly.

Meanwhile, back with Engie, Crystal, and Spike, they were sitting at my trailer (you'll find out the reason why they're there later), still keeping hold of the garlic roll they're fighting for. Crystal was currently on the phone with her coltfriend. “I’m sorry, Thundy, I have to… stay late at work.”

“No she doesn’t, she’s lying to you!” Engie yelled out.

“Will you be quiet?” Crystal asked.

“If ya want privacy, let go of the roll.” Engie said, and then he yelled out loud again, “I’m so glad we went to this stallion supermodel agency! Crystal, here’s more sunscreen to rub onto the supermodel’s abs!”

Crystal was starting to get a bit frustrated. “I’ll call you back.” Crystal said to her coltfriend and she hangs up.

“Ya know, it’s nice that ya call your boyfriend and tell him yer gonna be late for dinner. From what ah heard if a boyfriend doesn’t eat on time, it’s very comfortable for his fat belly.” Engie teased.

“Don’t you talk about my boyfriend’s belly!” Crystal said angrily.

“If yer offended, let go of the roll and go on home to your boyfriend’s fat belly.” Engie said with a mischievous smile.

“Excellent, excellent, tire eachother out, the roll will be mine! Crystal, what don’t you go after Engie’s most loved one?” Spike suggested.

“Why don’t we go after yer most loved one, like…. Twilight for example?” Engie suggested.

“Ooooooo!” Crystal said in shock.

“Go ahead! I have no allusions for Twilight, she’s a kind, loving, mama’s little genius nerd, with a lot of big words nopony understands, and a mild Dr. Pepper addiction.” Spike explained. “Anything you’d like to add?”

“Well, looks like that’s not gonna get you anywhere; better pull out the big guns.” Crystal suggested.

“Yer right, let’s talk about Rarity.” Engie said with a smirk.

“NO!” Spike said angrily. “I call no beautiful marshmallows!”

“Think of it this way, the only way Rarity would look that good is that if Rarity showerd.” Engie said, moving his eyebrows up and down.

Spike started to sweat. “I don’t wanna hear this!”

“Then let go of the roll and walk away.” Crystal suggested.

“Never!” Spike said.

“Alright, I bet Rarity doesn’t just shower to become beautiful, I think she showers because she’s all wet and soapy.” Crystal said with a seductive voice.

“Stop it!” Spike demanded.

“Yeah, Rarity with her wet drippy mane on her head!” Engie added.

“I SAID STOP IT!” Spike yelled as Engie and Crystal laughed.

“We’re getting to him!” Crystal said.

“Waterfalls!” Spike yelled.

”What?” Crystal asked.

“Waterfalls, crashing waves, babbling brooks.” Spike said.

“What are you doing?” Crystal asked.

“Subliminal messaging. I’m gonna make you want to pee!” Spike said mischievously. “Drippy faucets, leaky gutters….. peeing.”

“It’s not working, dude.” Engie said.

“Oooooh, it’s working alright.” Spike nodded, and then suddenly he started jumping up and down. “I have to pee.”

“Then let go of the roll and go.” Engie said.

“Actually, I wouldn’t mind going to.” Crystal said.

“Ok, on a count of 3.” Engie suggested. “One…. Two….”

“Wait!” Crystal stopped him. “When you get to three, do we stand up, or do we pee?” Spike and Engie looked at her awkwardly.

“We stand up!” Spike said.

“Excellent choice.” Crystal nodded.

“Ok, one…. two…. three!” Engie said as all three of them stood up and limped all the way to the bathroom of my trailer. “Ah knew this was a bad day to wear my favorite overalls.” He said.

Meanwhile, I unlock the trailer doors so Fluttershy and I can walk inside. I continued coughing and sneezing as Fluttershy walks me over to my bedroom. “Where we going?” I asked.

“Taking you to bed.” Fluttershy said.

“But I’m not tired.” I complained.

“You need your rest.” Fluttershy said.

“But I’m not tirrrrrrrrrred!” I complained again.

“I’m sorry, Flare, but it’s for your own good.” Fluttershy said as she pushed me over to my bedroom so she can tuck me in.

“You know, I haven’t been to bed this early since I had to get up pretty early so I can drop my nana off at dialysis because her personal driver was too sick to take her.” I said.

“Nana needs dialysis? I’m so sorry.” Fluttershy shook her head upsettingly.

“But still, going to bed at 2:30 in the afternoon seems a little wrong to me.” I said.

Fluttershy takes me over to my bed and tucks me in. “Is there anything you need?” she asked.

“I need to win the lotto.” I said.

“Don’t we all?” Fluttershy nodded.

“Well since you’re really offering, can you make me a mosobop?” I asked.

“A…. what?” Flutters asked.

“A mosobop.” I said.

“Wh-what’s that?” Flutters asked.

“It’s a type of soup.” I said.

“Yes, but what kind of soup?” Flutters asked.

“It’s soup without anything in it; it’s just liquid.” I said.

“So you want soup broth?” Flutters asked.

“You say it your way, and I’ll say it my way.” I said.

“Coming right up, Flare!” Fluttershy smiled and was just about to walk out.

“Wait!” I stopped her. “Can you put the mosobop in a mug; more specifically: my Jaws mug?” I asked.

“Sure.” Fluttershy nodded and walked out of my room and into the kitchen so she can get me some mosobop.

Just as Fluttershy goes into the kitchen, Engie, Crystal, and Spike limps out of the bathroom and heads back into the lounge so they can continue the game. “None of you looked at me, right?” Crystal asked.

“I don’t know why we even bothered starting this.” Spike complained.

“Free pizza, remember?” Crystal reminded him.

“Yeah, but still, is it really worth it?” Spike asked.

“Hey, we’ve gotten through far in this game; we can’t give up now! We shall never give up! Ah haven’t even given up wearin’ the same underwear for the past 3 weeks. Ah almost didn’t, but ah did!” Engie said.

“Nice!” Spike said.

“Gross.” Crystal said. “Will either of you ever give up?”

“Hey, I will advise the two of you that resistance is futile; I have endless patience.” Spike said. “I was once on hold for 4 hours on HP Customer Service, just to complain about their customer service, and it was totally worth it!”

“You wanna hear about endless patience? My coltfriend made me watch all five seasons of Lost!” Crystal said.

“There are six seasons, Crystal.” Engie corrected her.

“AWW MAN!” Crystal complained.

“No, the sixth season was great! The Man in Black reunites with Saylid, and Ben kills Jacob, so Illena hunts for him; it’s a wild ride!” Engie explained. So the three limp on back to the lounge as Fluttershy comes out of the kitchen to give me some masobop.

“Fluttershy!” I yelled from my bedroom.

Flutters flew quickly to my room and asked, “What’s wrong?”

“I heard voices; you have visitors?” I asked.

“Ummm, I haven’t seen anyone.” Fluttershy said.

“Whatever, must be just the wind.” I thought.

“Yeah, I’m always blamed for everything.” The wind complained. “So, I’m gonna blow on your face.”

“WHAAAAAA?!” I cried.

“…In the face!” the wind added.

“NOOOOOOOOOO!” I yelled, but then if you look very closely in my forehead, there’s a mini-face that looks similar to mine. “Noooooooooo!” the mini face cried as the wind blows on itand it sneezes, and then my normal sized face sneezes along with it.

“Gosh, you should drink this up immediately.” Flutters said as she was about to pour the mosobop down my throat.

“HEY, HEY, HEY!” I yelled, getting Flutters to stop.

“What?” Flutters asked.

“It’s Fat Albert!” I yelled in a complaining tone.

“Wh-what?” Flutters asked confusingly.

“I can’t drink that, not without a bendy straw.” I said.

“Oh, ok.” Flutters nodded as she flew off to get one, and then she came back with one in a jiff. It's kinda weird because jiff isn't even a real standard precision of time.

“Can I have a bendy straw with a red stripe, not a blue one?” I asked.

“Umm, sure.” Flutters flew back to the kitchen again and comes back with another straw. “Here you go, Flare.”

”GIMMIE!” I yelled in excitement as I started to gulp down the bosopop. Fluttershy was pretty impressed, but felt a wee-bit awkward on seeing me gulping down the bosobop like that. It’s a good thing Flutters didn’t get the wrong idea when I said ‘HEY HEY HEY’; I really hope she didn’t watch the MOV series. Trust me, she wouldn’t wanna watch that, and neither should you. Watching the MOV series makes the old version of FiE Book 1 seem awesome, my opinion that is.

“Well, umm…. i-if there’s nothing else you need, I-I think I should go check on my animals.” Flutters said as she was about to fly out of my trailer, but once I finished my mosobop, I stopped her.

“Wait!” I yelled as she stopped. I took out a container of chest rub and gave it to Flutters. “Will you rub this on my chest?”

“Oh Flare can you do it yourself?” Flutters asked.

“Nature’s Baby Organics makes my hooves smell funny.” I explained but forgetting that I’m a unicorn.

“Aww, Flaaaaaaare….” Flutters whined.

“Please, please, please, please, please, pleeeeeeeeeeeease?” I begged.

Flutters sighed, takes the cream, and starts rubbing. “Alright, Flare.”

As she rubs, I stopped her. “NO! Counter-clockwise so my fur doesn't stick out.”

“Sorry.” Fluttershy said as she rubbed the chest rub on my chest.

After a little while, I asked her the big question; “Can you sing me Soft Dalek?”

“Wh-what?” Fluttershy asked.

“My mom used to sing it to me when I was sick.” I said.

“Well…. I would, but I… I don’t know how it goes.” Fluttershy said.

“I’ll teach you.” I said as I started to sing the song to her, and it goes: “Soft Dalek, Warm Dalek, little ball of hate…. Happy Dalek, sleepy Dalek, exter-min-ate!”

Flutters nodded. “That was a good song.”

“Now you sing it.” I requested.

Flutters was silent for a second, trying to remember the words, and she starts to sing with her lovely voice; “Soft Dalek, Warm Dalek…..”

She forgets what comes next, so I had to remind her; “Little ball of hate…” I reminded her. “Keep rubbing.”

Flutters continued to rub and sang while rolling her eyes; “Little ball of hate….” Just to let you know, I did not make that song up, so I don’t take credit, even though I may be using it a lot. Although the one who actually did make that song is currently unknown at this time, so we may never know. Anyways, since I’m recycling stuff from the first version of Book 1, I saved the karaoke thing that Fluttershy and I did in the original chapter 5 just for this special moment! It’s a beautiful song, but a bit overkill for this occasion, but since it’s such a beautiful song, I’m gonna put it in, so insert coin to get it started! The song is Don’t Stop Believin’ by Journey.

We start off at the Lounge in my trailer with Spike, Engie, and Crystal in there, but without fighting for the roll, and I started to sing as Flutters watches. I sang the first lyrics of the song as Fluttershy smiles at me and places her hooves on her cheeks. I didn’t want to sing it alone so I pulled Engie up with me.

“No, dude, I don’t wanna-“ Engie said but he grabs the microphone and starts to sing, "Just a city boy..." part. Not that I know what Detroit actually is, but it’s part of the song. The Lounge started to change into a night sky. Fluttershy started to fall and she landed on a star.

Crystal started singing on the moon with Princess Luna next to her. Crystal was singing the "Some will win... some will lose..." part, and then Crystal gave Luna the microphone and she was singing "The movie never ends part", but instead of a fourth "and on" at the end of that verse, she yelled "ROYAL CANTERLOT VOICE!"

Just then, the four of us started singing at the same time; "Strangers... waiting..."

Then I sang by myself; "Up and down the boulevard."

Then we all sang at the same time again; "Their shadows... searching... in the ni-ight! Streetlight people..."

Then Luna sang by herself; "Living just to find emotion..."

Then we all sang again; "Hiding... somewhere in the niiiiiight!"

Then while the guitar solar was going on, the night sky turned into the desert. Fluttershy was on riding on the back of a shadowy pony running through desert, she was held onto its neck, but then when I started singing again, the brown pony turned into none other than me. "Don't stop... believin'... Hold on to that feelin'... streetlight people..."

Just then Spike appeared in the background with a microphone singing; "WHOOOOOOOHHHHHHAAAAA! Finally, I get to sing!"

Then Fluttershy was sleighing down a mountain, and I was sitting behind her, skiing ‘n singing, at the same time, which is pretty rare. "Don't stop believin’. "Hold ooooooonnn! Streetlight people..."

Then Spike appeared skiing next to me singing; "WHOOOOOOOHHHHAAAAA!"

I continued; "Don't stop believin... hold on to that feelin..." As I sang that part, the song started fading, along with the background. All this time, Fluttershy was asleep with her head on my bed, and the whole thing was a dream. I was too asleep at the time, and after a few moments, I awoken from my slumber, gave out a loud yawn along with flipping my tongue while doing so, and I suddenly spot Flutters laying her head on my bed; ooo rhyme!

“I know I did say I wanted a mare on my bed, but I never thought it would be like that.” I said. “You know, she kinda reminds me my mom when she slept on my bed when I was sick.” I smiled. “Fluttershy is really giving me a good example on friendship here right now. She took care of me when I was sick, she stayed to make sure I’d feel better, and she never given up on me. Fluttershy here is a true friend.” I leaned down over at Flutters and kissed her forehead out of gratitude. “I less then three you, mommy- I mean, Fluttershy! Wow, why did I just call her mommy? That was heavy.”

“GREAT SCOTT!” Dr. Emmet Browne said near my bedside.

Back in the other room, Engineer, Crystal, and Spike were all asleep on the couch in the lounge, and Engie and Crystal were the only ones remaining in the game because Spike wasn’t grabbing the roll. Engie then suddenly let’s go of the roll, turns around, and starts cuddling on Spike. Crystal awakes from her slumber and sees she’s the last one standing (sitting, actually) holding the roll.

“I done it!” Crystal said excitedly. “I won! The roll is mine!” Engie and Spike woke up and separated from eachother quickly, and they see Crystal in excitement. Crystal runs out of the room and yells, “IT’S MINE!” She then runs into the bathroom, turns on the sink, and starts cleaning out the roll. “We’re going to clean it up, and make it pretty! My one… my love… my PRECIOUS!” Crystal suddenly looks at herself in the mirror, and sees her face as a hobbit face, along with the hair. Crystal starts screaming and wakes up along side Engie and Spike in the lounge.

The three of them searched the room because the roll was nowhere to be found. “Where’s the roll?!” Engie cried. But just then, the three of them see me standing at the door, eating the roll that’s been on their filthy hooves (and claw) all afternoon.

“Oh I’m sorry; were you planning to eat this?” I asked.

“We were playing a game to see who would hold the garlic roll the longest, and the one doing so would get to eat it and win free pizza.” Spike explained.

“Oh that silly contest? Lawl! Wow I never thought my pizzas were that good! I guess everypony is right, I do have the best pizza in Equestria!” I said excitedly.

“But now that ya ate it, we won’t be havin’ any free pizza.” Engie complained.

“I DEMAND A REMATCH!” Crystal yelled.

“You three are being ridiculous. I can’t believe you would put your friendships at risk over some free pizza!” I said.

“Oh look who’s the friendship expert now.” Spike teased.

“Fluttershy taught me a lot about friendship today, and seeing you three fighting over my awesome and delicious pizzas kinda feels wrong….. actually….. now that I think about it….. you three should fight for my food more often! Also, I'm not sure what happened to my bathroom, but I am NOT cleaning it up!” I said.

“Flare?” Fluttershy called out from my bedroom.

“Wait, is Fluttershy in…. your bedroom?” Spike asked curiously.

“What were you two doin’ in there?” Engie asked suspiciously.

“I’m sick, and she’s helping me feel better.” I said.

“And by the sound of it, it sounds like you do feel better!” Fluttershy said.

“Huh?” I sniffed. “Oh… so I do! I knew the mosobop and Soft Dalek would do the trick!”

“Glad I was here to help you! We really had fun today, didn’t we?” Fluttershy asked.

“We did, Flutters! We did!” I nodded. “You are an awesome pony! Probably one the most awesomeist ones, and very pretty too!”

Flutters blushed. “Oh… thank you!”

“We really need to hang out more often.” I suggested.

“We do!” Flutters agreed.

“Should I get myself sick again?” I asked.

Flutters giggled. “Maybe not that way.”

“Well, sista, thank you for everything; you really inspired me today.” I said to her.

“Your welcome, Flare!” Fluttershy said in a sweet little voice, and gave me a big hug before walking out of my trailer.

“Bye, Fluttermom!” I waved.

“What?” Flutters asked.

“I mean- Fluttershy!” I corrected myself. She smiled and waved (boys, smile and wave) and then she hovers away. I looked over at the others, and they gave me funny looks.

“Oh snap!” Crystal said.

“What?” I asked.

“Seriously, what were you two doin’ in that bedroom?” Engie asked.

As Fluttershy flew out of my trailer, and she continued to blush and said, “I think Flare has a crush on me! Wait till I tell the girls!”

I close the door behind her and said to myself, “Fluttershy totally wants to be my mom! Wait… how would my regular mom think?”

“So Flare, got any other food competitions?” Crystal asked.

“You three should get a life.” I said. “Maybe you should get yourselves a relationship as strong as Fluttershy’s and I, because I’m telling you, it’s pretty heavy!”

“GREAT SCOTT!” Dr. Emmet Browne said, standing beside me.

Author's Note

The replacement chapter 5. This chapter is similar to the old chapter 5; the beginning part of the story remains the same, but the time Flare spends with Fluttershy changes. Flare becomes sick, and Flutters has to take care of him; also I added Engie, Spike, and Crystal to the story, and given them a bit of a funny part in the chapter. Flutters does have a crush on Flare now, since Flare is a sweet-talker, but to add things, and maybe to add some spice into the later chapters, Flare thinks of Flutters as a mommy, and that is pretty hilarious. I kept the song too, I liked that part too much. x3

Love Thy Pony

A week has past, and right now my employees and I are cleaning up the pizza shop, because it's after closing. I was just cleaning the tables with Lyra, Bon Bon is mopping the floor, and Derpy already went home because she has to get up early for her other job, mail.

"Another successful day has gone by, sistas! I have to say, this business is really popular! Giving us adrenaline all day!” I said.

"Yep!" Lyra said.

"I'll say!" Bonnie agreed.

"So, you two gots any plans later?" I asked.

"Gots any plans?" Bonnie asked. "I don't think that's correct grammar."

"Well, I have some planning to do for an event coming up!" Lyra said.

"Yeah, me too." Bonnie said.

“Oh cool; I love events! Almost as much as I love sitcoms that ponies think zebras will watch.” I said.

A cutaway shows Zecora inside her hut watching a sitcom on TV. The African-accent TV announcer says, “We now return to ‘THA’S WAT AH WAS TELLIN’ YOU BEFO!’ On Z-N-T.”

“What are you kids doin'? Nightmare Night is tomorrow!” the zebra mom asked.

“THA'S WHAT AH WAS TELLIN' YOU BEFO'!” the zebra kid said, dressed as a carrot. The audience laughs in the background. The cutaway ends.

"So what event are you kids planning?" I asked.

"I'll tell you later." Lyra said.

"Me too." Bonnie repeated. Just then, everypony just finished up with the cleaning. "Well, clean as a whistle!"

"Whistles aren't always clean. Once they're blown, they're germy." I said.

"It's just an expression." Bonnie said.

“So is this face.” I said as I was making a smirky looking face with my bottom teeth biting on my upper lip, and one side of my mouth was facing upward.

"Alrighty then! Time to lockup!" Lyra said.

"Hang on." Bonnie stopped us. "I have to use the little fillies room for a second."

"Go on ahead, Bonnie! We'll wait for you. Winky face." I said.

"Thanks!" Bonnie said as she runs over to the bathroom.

"Hey, Flare?" Lyra asked.

"HAY, WHERE?! Oh, were you just getting my attention?” I asked.

"Uhh yeah, I have to ask you something." Lyra said.

"Axe away!" I said. "But be careful how you swing; lawl!”

Lyra chuckled. “That was a good one!”

"I'll be here all week!" I said. "No really, I will, that's my schedule.

"So can I tell you a secret?" Lyra asked.

"I-D-K. Can you?" I asked.

"May I?" Lyra asked.

"I-D-K. Do you trust me?" I asked.

"If I didn't trust you, I wouldn't be telling you this secret, would I?" Lyra informed.

“If you didn’t trust me, you wouldn’t let me be holding your gum for you.” I said as I blew a bubble, spat it out, and gave it back to Lyra. “Here you go!”

“Thanks!” Lyra said, taking the gum. "Okay, I'm being serious now."

"Alright, me and my bestest friend in the whole world have a friendship anniversary coming in a few days.” Lyra said.

"Oh really?" I asked. “That’s cute, who’s your bestest friend?”

"Well, that's the secret. Most ponies I tell, they just laugh at us and call us ‘a couple’, and we’re not.” Lyra said.

”What do you expect from the fandom? They’d just find two ponies that are just standing next to eachother, and automatically assume they’re a couple.” I said.

“Others ship me with Octavia, and I hardly know her.” Vinyl Scratch said, sitting on one of the tables, sipping her drink.

“So who’s your best friend? Cranky Doodle Donkey?” I teased

Lyra got frustrated. "No." she said.

“Lawl lawl lawl lawl!” I laughed. “Are you in a relationship with that dirty pony with a trash can flank tattoo?”

”Who?” Lyra asked.

“The one Scootaloo says is ‘too smelly’.” I said.

“Oh… no.” Lyra said.

"Then it must be Doctor Whooves! Tell me it’s the Doctor! You’re his companion!” I yelled.

"NO!" Lyra yelled. "Can't you just listen to me?!"

“Fine; spoil the fun.” I rolled my eyes.

“It’s Bon Bon.” Lyra said.

“Yes that was my next choice!” I winked and said.

“Was it?” Lyra asked.

“Actually it was gonna be the pony that is strangely obsessed with tubs of jelly, but right after, I was definitely gonna say Bon Bon!” I said. "Well if you’re happy face with her, and she's happy face, then I'm happy face."

"Thanks, Flare!" Lyra said with a smile.

"So what are you going to do for your university?" I asked.

"I got us two plane tickets to- wait, did you just say university?” Lyra asked.

“Yeah.” I nodded.

Lyra facehoofed and shook her head and asked, “Why?”

“I thought that’s what you said?” I asked.

“I said anniversary.” Lyra corrected me.

“So you’re married to her?” I asked.

Lyra blushed and yelled, “NO! Why does everypony think we’re a couple? Also, what makes everypony think I’m obsessed with humans and like hands?”

“Do you like hands?” I asked.

”Of course I do, they're fascinating, but how does everypony else know that?” I asked.

“Alright, so we’re getting off-topic. You got two tickets to…. Paradise right?” I asked, and then I started singing, “Pack your backs we’ll leave tonight; two tickets to paradissssssse!”

"Anyway..." she continued as she took out two tickets. "I have two tickets for Los Pegasus. Bon Bon and I are having our FRIENDSHIP anniversary there for a week. We're leaving in three days.”

"Wait, stop right there." I said. “Isn’t the city called LAS Pegasus?”

“No, what makes you think that?” Lyra asked.

“It just came to me. Sometimes names can be confusing to me.” I said. A cutaway shows walking through town, saying hi to random ponies along the way. “Hey, Twilight Sporkle! Say hi to your mom and dad, the spoon and the fork for me. Hey, Apple Pumpkin! See you at Nightmare Night!”

“It’s Apple Bumpkin!” she corrected me.

“Isn’t that what I said?” I asked as I kept walking.

“Hey, Mild Fire! If ‘Hot’ was your middle name, you’d have all three types of Taco Bell sauces in your name.” I said.

“My name is Wild Fire.” She corrected me.

“Then only you can prevent you.” I teased and winked. I then walked into a music store, walked up to the cashier, and asked him, “Sup brah? I’m looking for Justin Beaver’s music, you sellin’?” The cutaway ends.

"So this gift I'm giving Bon Bon is also a secret. Please don't tell her!" Lyra asked me.

"With the Wizards of Hope, Strength, and Feelings as my witnesses, I vow never to let out your secret to Bon Bon. Lion face.” I said.

“Lyin’ face? So you’re lying?” Lyra asked.

“No ‘lion face’, lion like the animal lion. I’m making a cat face. You know, the colon 3 in text?” I asked.

“Oh, well then….” Lyra gives me a big hug. "Thanks, Flare! You're the best!"

"But I'll do it for 10 bits! Mischievous face." I teased.

Lyra got confused. "What?" she asked. I took her a while to know I was joking. "Flare, you’re too funny!” Bon Bon then walks out of the bathroom, but has a piece of toilet paper stuck on her hoof.

“HA!” I yelled.

"What's so funny?" Bonnie asked.

"Look at your back right hoof!" I pointed out. Bon Bon looked at her hoof and saw the piece of toilet paper. She glared as she removed it from that hoof using her other hoof, and the toilet paper gets stuck on her other hoof.

"Alright, Bonnie! Ready to go home?" Lyra asked.

"Just a second, I need to talk to Flare in private." Bon Bon said to Lyra.

"Alright, I'll wait outside for you." Lyra said as she started to walk outside, but on the way out while I wasn’t looking, she sticks the piece of gum I was holding for her under one of the tables, even though the trash can was RIGHT THERE!

"Flare I need to tell you a secret." Bonnie asked.

"Oh great, another secret?" I complained.

"What do you mean another secret?" Bonnie asked, giving me a suspicious look.

I paused and started to think about what I was saying. "Uhhh.... a secret that Spike told me. Don't tell anypony... but…" I then whispered to her; “... but he likes to flirt and pose with himself in the mirror."

"Oooooooookay." Bonnie said. "So if I tell you this secret, please don't tell anypony! Please?"

"I vow to the Wizards to keep this secret all to myself. Except for my fish, I tell them everything. Is it ok if I tell my fish?” I asked.

“Sure.” Bonnie said.

“Yes!” I cheered.

"Alright." Bonnie said as she looked around suspiciously, and then she whispered in my ear. "I have a present for Lyra for our anniversary, and no we're not a couple.”

"Oh really?" I asked. "If you ask me, it shouldn't be a secret. If you tell anypony a secret like this, and they have a problem with it, it's likely because they don't have a true friendship like you and Lyra do, and putting their misery all on you. Who's the wrong one now, huh?! I’M BETTER THAN ALL OF YOU!” I yelled while looking up at the ceiling.

“Uhh, who you talking to?” Bonnie asked.

“I wanna make sure those idiots back at Mareami hear that!” I said.

"Right.” Bonnie nodded. "So for our friendship anniversary…." she takes out two tickets. "I got us some tickets to spend a week Fillydelphia! We're leaving in three days!"

"Oh so that means you're taking a week off, huh?" I asked.

"Yeah, sorry though, but this is important to me." Bonnie said.

"No problemo, sista." I said. "You deserve the vacation! I'm sure I can ask Pinkie and Spike to help out."

Bon Bon gives me a hug. "Thanks, Flare! You're the best boss ever! Well, see you tomorrow!" Bon Bon runs out the door and meets up with Lyra.

"Ah that's so sweet!" I said. "Lyra's going to take Bon Bon on an expensive vacation to Los Pegasus, and Bon Bon is going to take Lyra on an expensive trip to Fillydelphia. Sigh, friendship is a great thing!" I felt pretty good that night. I locked up the shop and walked out smiling with my eyes closed; I then walked over to the Ponyville Cafe, took a seat, and ordered some dinner, because I felt I deserved some. Then I started to drink my drink, which was iced tea, half unsweet and half sweet. As I drink, my eyes opened very wide and then I spat out my iced tea all over the bartender’s face. "WAIT A SECOND!" I yelled. "If Lyra is going to take Bon Bon on vacation at the same day Bon Bon plans to take Lyra on vacation…. Uh oh. This isn't going to end well. Well, when I'm done eating, I'll have to go tell..." I then paused for a second and thought. "Wait, I vowed to keep their presents a secret from eachother, plus they already paid their tickets. Well it looks like they're on their own then. Sad face. I hope they'll understand eachother, because I don't want two of my employees to start having a conflict. I hope things work out for them. This is going to be worse than the time I had that popcorn kernel stuck on my teeth."

A cutaway shows me eating some popcorn while watching a movie, but then one of the kernels got stuck between my teeth. "Hey, popcorn kernel; you can't be here!" one of my teeth said to the kernel.

"Quiet, narc!" the kernel said rudely. When I felt the kernel between my teeth, I tried using my tongue to get it out, but it stayed there and it said, "This is my home now!" The cutaway ends.

Meanwhile over at Bonnie’s house, Lyra was staying over for a little bit and watching a movie with her on Netflix. “We now return to Jack in the Box.” the TV announcer said. A colt was sitting on his bed, turning the little handle on the side of the jack in the box, but just as it was time for POP goes the weasel, Jack Black pops out of the box yelling, “PILE DRIVE TO THE FACE!” the colt gets scared and runs away. “My life is good! Really good!” ‘Jack’ in the box said.

“So, Lyra, how you liking the movie so far?” Bonnie asked.

“It’s pretty good! I’ve always adored Jack Black. I also adored that meal you whipped up for me!” Lyra said.

“I know how much you love mozzarella sticks and dip.” Bonnie said.

“I do! I just love putting that thing in my mouth, and when it comes out, sticky stuff sticks onto my teeth.” Lyra said.

“AH HA! Ha ha haaaaaaaaaa!” an ostrich laughed while sitting on the chair next to the couch.

“I don’t get it, how is that funny?” Lyra asked.

“Heck if I know.” Bonnie shrugged. “By the way, thank you for the cheesecake, you’re right, it’s my favorite!”

“It would’ve been easier if they built a Cheesecake Factory restaurant in Ponyville; my cousin, Angel Heartstrings says that place is one of his favorite restaurants.” Lyra said.

“I never tried it.” Bonnie said.

“If you ever go to one of the bigger cities, you’ll be able to eat at one.” Lyra said.

“Speaking of that, I got a present for you.” Bonnie said.

“A present, for me?” Lyra asked.

“Our friendship anniversary is coming soon and I wanted to give you something special for the occasion!” Bonnie said.

“Cool! Is it a pair of Hulk Hands?” Lyra asked, and then she yelled in the Hulk’s voice; “LYRA SMASH! LYRA PUNCH! LYRA POW!”

Bonnie chuckles. “No, Lyra, it isn’t a pair of Hulk hands.”

After a few seconds of silence, Lyra says in a Hulk voice; “LYRA saaaaaad.”

“Don’t worry, what I got for you is much, much better.” Bonnie said.

“So if it’s better than Hulk hands, then it must be The Thing’s hands!” Lyra said excitedly. “I love the Fantastic Four!”

“No, what?” Bonnie asked.

“I’m only implying to what I really like.” Lyra said.

“Here, just take a look at what I got you.” Bonnie gave Lyra an envelope.

“Wow, how ironic! I got you an envelope as well!” Lyra gave Bonnie another one.

“Oh I hope it’s a Hoops and Yoyo card. I love those silly little guys.” Bonnie said.

“Yeah, they make me laugh.” Lyra said.

“So…. Who’s going to open who’s first?” Bonnie asked.

“You do it.” Lyra suggested.

“Naaaaaah, you.” Bonnie said.

“No, no, no, you do it.” Lyra argued with her playfully.

“I gave you yours first.” Bonnie said.

“I gave yours second, and it saves the best for last, and your present for me is last, so open it.” Lyra explained.

“Alright, alright, how about we both open eachother’s presents at the same time?” Bonnie suggested.

“Sounds good!” Lyra said.

"On the count to three.” Bonnie stated.

Then they both counted: "One... two... three!" Then they both took out their tickets at the same time.

"Huh?" Bonnie asked confusingly. "What are these?"

"These are tickets for you and me to go to Los Pegasus in three days! We're going to spend a week there!" Lyra said. "What are these?"

"These are tickets for a week in Fillydelphia; we're leaving in three days." Bonnie said.

"Well, I paid alot of money for our tickets to Los Pegasus, so let's go to Fillydelphia next year, and go to Los Pegasus this year!" Lyra suggested.

"No, I think we should go to Fillydelphia this year, and go to Los Pegasus next year." Bonnie suggested.

Lyra rasp-berried and said; "Fillydelphia sounds boring. In Los Pegasus, there is Applewood, the celebrities, the theaters!"

"Well Los Pegasus sounds a bit too much." Bonnie thought. "Fillydelphia has lots of history! We'll learn alot over there! And not to mention it's beautiful!"

"Los Pegasus is lots of cool search lights and music!" Lyra said.

"Fillydelphia has great art and museums. They have shows as well you know!" Bonnie said.

Then Lyra started getting frustrated. "Los Pegasus has theme parks!"

Bonnie also started getting frustrated. "Fillydelphia has fine cuisine!"

"Los Pegasus contains agents that’ll give us contracts so we’ll be rich!” Lyra yelled.

"The one who discovered electricity lived in Fillydelphia!" Bonnie yelled.

"Fillydelphia is boring!" Lyra yelled.

"Los Pegasus is too expensive!" Bonnie yelled.

"Fillydelphia is too quiet!" Lyra yelled.

"Los Pegasus has many celebrities that are in rehab!” Bonnie yelled.

Then they went into eachother's faces yelling at eachother for 10 minutes saying which city is better.

"WE'RE GOING TO LOS PEGASUS, AND THAT IS FINAL!" Lyra yelled.

"NO! WE'RE GOING TO FILLYDELPHIA, AND THAT IS FINAL!" Bonnie yelled.

"I PAID ALOT OF MONEY FOR LOS PEGASUS!"

"I PAID ALOT OF MONEY FOR FILLYDELPHIA!"

"WELL IF YOU WANT TO GO SO MUCH, WHY DON'T YOU GO YOURSELF?!"
Lyra suggested.

"MAYBE I WILL!" Bonnie yelled.

"FINE!"

"I don’t even know why we bothered hanging with eachother! All everypony does is call us a couple! I knew hanging with you was a bad idea!” Lyra yelled.

"GO AHEAD! I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU FOR AS LONG AS I LIVE ANYWAY!” Bonnie yelled.

"THEN DON'T TALK TO ME EITHER!" Lyra yelled.

"THAT’S NOT WHAT I SAID, BUT NO MATTER; DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT!" Bonnie yelled.

"FINE!" Lyra yelled.
.
"FINE!" Bonnie yelled.

Bon Bon angrily marched to the bathroom, brushed her teeth, went into the bedroom and slammed the door. Lyra angrily marched into the kitchen, grabbed a glass, got some water, grabbed some blankets from the closet, and laid on the couch, but after laying for a little while, Lyra got off the couch and said, “Wait, I don’t live here.” So she marched over to the front door, walked out, and slammed the door, but she came back inside shortly after, grabbed her tickets, then walked back out and slammed the door. After a little while, Lyra marched back in, grabbed a flower vase and yelled, “THIS IS MINE!” then walked out and slammed the door again, but after that third slam, the door locks break. “I’m not paying for that! Pay for that with your stupid tickets!” she yelled and walked away from her house. Lyra then stopped and thought to herself, "ARE we a couple?"

The next morning came; Bon Bon was on her way to the work. Lyra did the same from her house across the street; Bon Bon looks at her, then looks away; Lyra looks away as well. All morning they just ignored eachother, and sometimes gave eachother ugly looks, but they didn't say a word to eachother at all. They got to my shop at the same time, and when Lyra was going through the door, Bon Bon pushed her out of the way so she can walk in first. Lyra then ran up to Bon Bon and pushed her back. Bon Bon and Lyra got very angry and they started fighting and screaming and taunting eachother. After all that fighting, Lyra knocked into another pegasus named Sunny Rays, causing her to drop her pizza. She was in shock and started to cry. Lyra and Bon Bon kept on fighting, and were unaware of what happened.

I came out of my office with a magazine and said, “Hey Bonnie, Lyra, you around? I found this really cool picture on this magazine and it matches my expression!” I said as I made, once again, the smirky look with my bottom teeth biting my upper lip, and one side of my mouth facing upward. Just then, I saw Lyra and Bonnie fighting with eachother, and everypony was watching them in either concern or fright. "What the Wizard of Hope is going on?! I don’t pay you to entertain customers!” I just then saw Sunny Rays crying, and by the looks of things, Lyra and Bonnie weren’t fighting for entertainment. “Hey, hey! Break it up, break it up!” I walked into the middle of the fight and split the two apart. "What are you two fighting about?"

"Lyra wants us to go to Los Pegasus, but I already paid for a trip to Fillydelphia!" Bonnie said angrily.

"Fillydelphia is boring! Los Pegasus is the key to fun!" Lyra said.

"Says you!" Bonnie yelled. "FILLYDELPHIA!"

"LOS PEGASUS!" Lyra argued.

"FILLYDELPHIA!"

"LOS PEGASUS!"

"FILLYDELPHIA!"

"LOS PEGASUS!"

"SHUT UP BOTH OF YOU!" I yelled. "Wow, how come I'm not surprised face about this fight? Regardless, either place is better than Mareami I suppose.”

"Flare, you knew about the gift! You could've said something to her!” Lyra complained.

"You knew about Lyra's gift? Why didn't you tell me?" Bonnie asked.

"YOU TOLD HIM ABOUT MY GIFT?! Flare, you could've told me!" Lyra complained

“I kept your secret?! Why didn’t I tell you?!” I asked.

“Because you promised!” they both said at the same time.

"And there’s your answer. Aren’t I clever?” I asked smiling and humming to myself. Lyra and Bonnie both looked at eachother confusingly. “Yeah, see? You did remember! Lawl you did remember!”

“Flare, tell her that she should be grateful on the generous gift I’m giving us both.” Lyra demanded.

“My gift is far more gracious than yours!” Bonnie yelled.

“I’m ashamed of both of you!” I said angrily. “You both plan an expensive vacation away from Ponyville, and you didn’t even bother buying me a ticket?”

Sunny Rays was still crying. I walked over to her, pat her on the back, and said; "There, there, sista! No need to weep, angel. What seems to be the problem?"

Sunny Rays sniffled and said; "Well.... I was getting my pizza....” she sniffled. “I was walking to my table.... I.... never had your pizza before..... and now I wasted..... 10 bits on this pizza that's now ruined!" Then she started crying again.
I hugged Sunny Rays, and she hugged back crying on my shoulder.

“There, there, Sunny.” I said, trying to comfort her. “Everything will be alright, it could be worse; you might be one of those ponies that are stuck with cable.”

A cutaway shows a green unicorn with a brown mane, purple eyes, and a sword flank tattoo, goes by the name of Adventure Blade, or better known as Keith, sitting down on his sofa watching his TV until his cable goes out. Keith decides to call the cable company for some assistance. A voice in the background says as Keith does all these things: “When the cable company leaves you on hold, you feel trapped; if you feel trapped, you try to feel free.” Keith climbs onto a mountain top and feels the fresh air.
“If you try to feel free, you try hang-gliding; if you try hang-gliding, you crash into things.” He crashes into electric wires. “If you crash into things, the grid goes down.” The whole city of Canterlot goes dark. “When the grid goes down, crime goes up.” All the stores in Canterlot get raided by the townfolk. “And if crime goes up, your dad gets punched over a can of soup.” Keith’s dad gets punched in the stomach while raiding a grocery store during a blackout for some soup. “Don’t let your dad get punched over a can of soup; get rid of cable and switch to DirectTV. Call 1-800-DIRECT-TV.” The cutaway ends.

“Now you two need to get along, capieche?” I instructed Lyra and Bonnie. “Your fighting is affecting my business, and I’m gonna lose money that way, and I’m not just saying that because I could care less about your friendship, which B-T-W, I do, but still, the fighting’s gotta stop. Can’t you take it outside, or at least apologize? You know what, on second thought, just apologize.”

Lyra and Bon Bon felt bad, so Bon Bon sighed and said; "Lyra?"

Lyra looked at Bon Bon and said; "Yes?"

They both gave eachother a sorry-look. It looks like their going to apologize, but then Bon Bon gave Lyra an ugly look and said; "Your face is ugly!”

“What?! I’m far more cuter than you; your parents said so, and so did the fandom!” Lyra said.

Bonnie gasped. “Tis a lie!”

“Tis no lie; want me to call your parents and ask them?” Lyra asked with her cell phone out.

“I forbid you to talk to them!” Bonnie grabbed Lyra’s phone out of her hooves.

“HEY! That’s mine!” Lyra yelled.

Bonnie dials on Lyra’s phone, waited for the pony on the other line to pick up, and Bonnie said in Lyra’s voice; “Hello, Angel? Yeah, it’s Lyra, hey. I just wanted to say…. Cheesecake Factory can rot because it’s the worst place ever and nopony would wanna go to it. Hope you’re feeling well! Bye!” Bonnie hung up, and gave the phone back to Lyra. Lyra just glared at her.

“Your cousin is surely never going to talk to you again.” Bonnie smirked at Lyra.

“You crossed the line!” Lyra said angrily.

“You crossed the line when we first met!” Bonnie said.

“GET OUT! I’M NOT WORKING AT THE SAME STORE AS YOU!” Lyra yelled.

“No, I like working here.” Bonnie said.

“Well I do too.” Lyra glared at Bonnie close to her face, and Bonnie did the same.

“Now kiss.” A pony whispered.

“WE’RE NOT A COUPLE!” they both yelled at the pony. “SHUT UP!” they both yelled at eachother. So the two ponies went their separate ways; Lyra walked out the front door, and Bon Bon went out the side door. After Lyra got outside, she took out her wallet, and tore up her picture of her and Bon Bon; Bon Bon did the same thing to her picture in her wallet, and I took out my wallet and drew a mustache on Spike who's on the photo, after that, I just stood there with Sunny Rays still weeping on my shoulder.

All the other customers watched the whole thing, and then they all looked at Sunny and I, I said, "What you all looking at? This isn’t Days of our Lives. Go ahead back to your pizzas, and I'll take care of this drama. Speaking of Days of our Lives, I can’t believe a soap opera shows last longer than anything else on TV.” I turned over to Sunny and said, "C'mon, next pizza's on me! Nice and fresh, and it’s certainly hulk smashing. What do ya say?" Sunny stopped crying and smiled at me.

Its closing time now and I walked over to Bonnie’s house, and I rang the doorbell, and she opened the door. "Oh, hi Flare." she said to me still looking upset. I kept ringing the doorbell with a derp look on my face. Bon Bon sighed and said, "Can I help you with anything?" I kept ringing the door bell, and Bon Bon just stood there waiting for me to stop. Soon, I finally released it, but with much resistant.

“I like ringing doorbells, but I like those fancy Big Ben chimes the best though.” I said.

"What do you want?" Bonnie asked.

"What happened to you and Lyra at the shop this morning?" I asked.

"Oh.... that. Neither of us could agree on what we should do for our anniversary." Bonnie said.

"Well.... maybe I can work things out." I said.

"Don't worry, Flare. I have it all taken care of.” Bonnie said.

"Really? That’s great!” I said excitedly.

"How is it great?" Bonnie asked.

I then lost my smile. Jeez, I could go for a Happy Meal right now. "Forty-five degree angle mouth face. I-D-K. I thought you two worked things out?" I asked.

"Nope, I ain’t talking to her again. I removed her from my phone contacts, my facebook friends, and I unfollowed her on Twitter.” Bonnie said.

"You know what’s ironic about Facebook friends? I only see my number go down if someone unfriends me, but I have no idea who it was. There needs to be a notification saying who did it.” I thought.

"Yep; now I'm moving on with my life, and I'm happy!" She said with a smile.

“Well, for one I’m glad you’re happy, we should always be happy, but if you ask me, that seems to be a ridiculous reason to not be friends with somepony anymore. For example, the reasonable reasons of not being friends with somepony else anymore is: betrayal is one, ummm, oh another thing is lying because nopony likes a liar, and of course the absolute worst out of ponies you shouldn’t be friends with anymore, is the ones that give you the wrong information, which is the reason why I was banned from the disco.”

A cutaway shows a bunch of ponies dancing inside a disco to some 80’s songs. I walked inside with a blind fold and a big stick; I whacked the disco ball with the stick and it breaks into thousands of pieces. “Yay, I win!” I cheered as I started grabbing as much of the glass as I could, thinking it was candy, and I started eating them. “Hey! This candy tastes like blood.” I said excitedly. The cutaway ends.

“But regardless Bonnie, I’m glad you’re happy without Lyra. I promise I’ll do all I can to help you find a new best friend.” I smiled and placed my hoof on her shoulder.

“Can you do that?” Bonnie asked.

“I have to be honest with you, I’m nopony special, Bonnie, and I’m currently I’m still a rookie on the whole friendship thing, but I promise I’ll do all I can.” I said. “But regardless, I’m glad you’re happy without Lyra. You sure took it like a strong mare! I mean, she was your best friend; you did everything together, like you keep complaining to her to sit properly, you comfort her for every time she loses her pie because of a parasprite infestation, and of course let’s not forget about you both getting upset together because everypony keeps calling you two a couple, and even though you were upset, you were upset TOGETHER. I’m glad you didn’t take it too hard for losing her, and are not going to do anything together anymore; you’re moving on, and forgetting about those good times; I am so proud of you, Bonnie!”

Her smile faded away and she started to cry. She held me close to her said; "Oh, Flare! Who am I kidding? Lyra is the best pony I’ve ever met in all of Equestria! This wouldn've happened if she would've accepted my gift!"

"Don't worry, Bonnie! This is your best chance to be free!" I said. "Also you're squishing my appendix."

Bon Bon started to calm down. "Friendship is hard sometimes; especially if it's someone you've been friends with since childhood, but all certain friends would do is overstate what the friend gives them, and all they would do is just ask for gifts, go to movies, spend lots and lots of bits, want alot of attention, text constantly! That's why I stay single. I don’t think having a stallionfriend would be any better. Lyra would’ve been begging for attention, and get jealous of me and my new stallionfriend.”

“That’s pretty much the reason why I stay single too, but not because of a jealousy of friend, but because the relationship was all a lie.” I said sadly. “Liars; that’s what this world contains, but sometimes you gotta live with them, despite all you’ve been through.”

Bon Bon sniffled and said, "You're single?"

“And proud of it!” I said. “But still, it would be nice having a mare in my life; one that’s trustworthy, funny, pretty, and most importantly: helpful.”

"Oh.... Well..... then I guess I'll see you tomorrow!" Bonnie said as she started to smile.

"Wow! Feeling better are we?" I asked. "That was easier than expected. I thought you were going to be crying like a little wimpy baby for days!”

“Why would I?” Bonnie asked. “You helped me feel better!”

“That is true, so touch me with your hooves and we’ll see if you can feel better.” I teased.

Bon Bon giggled and felt my fur. "Wow, I didn't know that was funny. That was a joke I make up at the last second. I do that a lot, I can’t help it.”

"Well I guess some ponies don't understand how funny you can be!" Bonnie said fluttering and her eyes at me.

"What's the matter? You got something in your eye?” I asked.

"No. Just.... no." Bonnie said as she stared at me.

"Why are you staring at me?" I asked. "There something on my face? Must be that donut I had earlier today from Donut Joe. He says he knows Twilight, and he also said he’s here in Ponyville to retrieve a special ingredient for his awesome city of donuts, and he's going to Canterlot for a contest. Some of my other friends are going along, and Spike said he’s going to be staying with me for two nights and we're going to play video games until our eyes bleed mustard! I know that’s not physically possible, but that’s what we’re going to do! Well, catch ya later Bon Bon!" I waved as I walked away.

I didn’t notice, but Bonnie sighed, and still stared at me as I walked away. "Ahhh; maybe I shouldn’t stay single; who needs friends when there are stallions that aren’t exactly dumb or that other mares abuse?" she asked herself. I didn’t think I had it in me, I thought to myself; I mean, I know I’m an awesome stallion, I’m one of the most awesomeist stallions I’ve ever met, but I seriously didn’t expect to make a mare feel better just by saying the first thing that comes to mind; it wasn’t that way back in Mareami.

Well, enough of that; I started walking home, listening to my Ipod, singing 'Numb' by Linkin Park. I started singing the 'smothering me' part in a calm tone, but when the part 'I become so numb' came, I grabbed a stick and started singing really loud with it. I said the word 'do' in that part of the lyrics awkwardly because the ponies were looking at me weirdly. “What? Is it not ok to say words I don’t know what means? So what if I don’t know what the hay an undertow is? I don’t have toes, so how am I supposed to know what it means?”

Lyra came out from behind the trees and clapped her hooves. "Bravo! Bravo!" she said.

"Oh thanks!” I said as I just saw her coming from behind the trees. “The song is called Numb, it's from Linkin Park; a park where Link came from. Hey, Lyra, you know something weird? Everypony thinks Link’s name is Zelda. It’s a common misunderstanding though. The video game should be called Legend of Link. Wait, that sounds like an interweb thing.”

“It does, doesn’t it?” Lyra nodded.

“So what’s going on?” I asked.

“Just seeing what you were up to. I really have nothing better to do.” Lyra said.

“Hey you rhymed!” I pointed out.

Lyra started laughing. “That’s true, I did!”

“You did done do it?” I asked.

“HEY! That’s what I say!” Pinkie complained as she was standing right next to me.

“Pinkie, aren’t you supposed to be on the train to bring the cake to the dessert competition right now?” I asked.

“Oh right!” Pinkie remembered and runs off.

Lyra continued to laugh. “Flare, you are hilarious!”

“That’s what Bon Bon said!” I pointed out. Lyra stopped laughing and started to cry. “Oh, ok now I know what I did wrong that time.” I said.

"Oh, Flare! You don't know what it's like to be in a long-term sisterhood relationship so long and suddenly lose it!" Lyra cried.

"You’re right; I don’t, except for that one time I had to disguise myself as a girl to join a girls-only slumber party so I can get free root beer.” I said.

A cutaway shows me and three cats who is also dressed as girls at Human Kimberly’s slumber party; we started playing Truth or Dare with her friends. “Caitlyn, Truth or Dare?” Kimberly started.

“Dare.” Caitlyn said.

“I dare you to…. Drink a whole bottle of root beer!” Kimberly said as Caitlyn drank the whole bottle, and the three cats next to me were getting pretty excited because they’re waiting for their turn so they can drink some.

“You sure this is a good idea, Gordon?” I whispered.

“I told you, it’s Audrey.” Gordon corrected me.

“It’s Lisa.” Waffle and Mr. Blink whispered.

“Caitlyn, truth or dare?” Kimberly asked one of her other friends who is also named Caitlyn.

“Dare.” Caitlyn said.

“I dare you to…. Drink a whole bottle of root beer!” Kimberly said, and Caitlyn did so, and the cats were still excited.

“It’s pretty ironic, to have two friends with the same name.” I said.

“Laser, truth or dare?” Kimberly asked me.

“Dare!” I said excitedly; I then looked at YOU the readers and whispered, “My girl name is Laser Blast, which is also the name of my R-63 self.”

“I dare you to….” Kimberly started as I was about to grab a bottle of root beer, but then Kimberly started, “Run around the house in your underwear and cry out ‘I’m a pretty human’!”

“I mean truth!” I yelled.

“You cannot change now.” Kimberly corrected me.

“Oh yeah? I just changed into a girl today!” I said.

“Shhhh!” the cats shushed me.

“Hey, you think you have it bad? I don’t get to talk in the entire episode.” Charlotte complained in a Flutterguy voice. “What? Just because I’m huge means I’m not allowed to talk?” The cutaway ends.

Lyra came up to me, held me, and was still weeping. "Holy Wizard of Strength!" I complained. "How many ponies are going to be sobbing on my shoulder today? I think my shoulder is starting to get wrinkled up!"

"Oh Flare! You just don't understand!" Lyra sobbed.

"Looks like it's time to repeat myself." I said to myself, and then I said to her, "Look Lyra, it's okay! This is your best chance to be free!”

“I know, Flare, but friendship is hard sometimes; especially if it's you’ve been friends with them since childhood, but all certain friends would do is overstate what the friend gives them, and would do is just ask for gifts, go to movies, spend lots and lots of bits, want alot of attention, text constantly! That's why I stay single. I don’t think a stallion would be any better. Bon Bon would’ve been begging for attention, and get jealous of me and my new stallionfriend.” Lyra explained.

“Wow, it’s no wonder ponies think you’re in a relationship.” I thought to myself. “Hey, I’m not in a relationship either, and it’s the same reason you aren’t.

Lyra calmed down and asked; "You’re single?"

“Wow, is everypony going to ask me that?” I asked.

"Oh." Lyra said. "Well, thanks for making me feel better!"

"No problemo sister! I didn't even know you were sick in the first place. LAWL!” I teased. Lyra started to laugh. "Wow. I’m on a roll today! Anyways, Spike's waiting for me. We're going to be playing video games all night long; bring out the Lay's and Pepsi! See you tomorrow, Lyra!" I said as I walked away.

Lyra started staring at me as I started to walk away. She moans and says, "Hmmm! He seems so charming! Maybe I found my new special somepony!" I believe the rest of the chapter is fairly obvious, but if you don’t know, allow me to continue.

The next morning came, and I walked out of my trailer, sniffed out the fresh air and said, "Catch ya later, Spike! I have to go to work. But we'll play again tonight. Kay?"

“Hey, while you’re out, can you get some rodent traps? You got a giant rat living under your sink.” Spike suggested.

A giant rat crawls out from under the cabinet under my sink in the kitchen and he says, “I’m just gonna hide under y’all’s sink, and then I’m gonna come out and drink y’all’s soup foam so it’ll look like ah have rabies.”

So I was just about to skip along the Ponyville streets and hum on the way to work when suddenly I knocked into Bon Bon, whom was standing outside my door. "Oh sorry about that, sista. You're not hurt are you? Are you? Are you? Are you?" I asked.

"No, I'm fine." Bonnie said.

"Are you? Are you? Are you?" I asked repeatedly.

"I'm great, Flare! I never felt better!" Bonnie repeated herself.

"Are you? Are you? Are you? Are you? Are you? Are you?" I asked again.

"Yes! I'm fine. Go ahead, say 'are you' as much as you want. It doesn't bother me a bit.” Bonnie said calmly.

"Wow! Usually ponies ask me nicely to stop, but the ponies from where I'm from would just say 'SHUT UP YOUR ANNOYING!'" I explained.

"Well, only a true friend like me would do anything for somepony as handsome and charming as you!" Bonnie said giving me a seductive look.

"D'AWWWWW! That's so sweet! You are a true friend" I blushed, but still…. OOOOOOO FRIENDZONED! "And speaking of sweet, I think I had too much Lay's and Pepsi last night." I said in a sick tone and I burped. "Excuse me for a second." I rushed inside my trailer to take care of business, and later I came back out with toilet paper stuck on my shoe. "Kay I'm better! Huh? Where's Bon Bon?"

Bon Bon was missing, but Lyra was outside. "Hi, Flare!" Lyra said in a flirty voice.

"Wow, amazing magic trick! You just turned from one pony to another! Anyways, sorry about that. I had too much junk food last night. You know what puzzles me? Why can't the most delicious food be healthy, like chips or soda? Usually the most healthy stuff are not has delish." I asked.

"You make fantastic points, Flare! I like that!" she said as she walked close to me and said in a seductive look and fluttered her eyes. "I really do!"

"What's wrong? You got something in your eye now?" I asked.

"Yep! I see a handsome and charming looking pony in front of me!" Lyra said.

"Wow. The commercials were right! Using this Axe shampoo really does get the ladies all over you!" I said as I held up some Axe shampoo for everyone to see. “Well, anyways, I just remembered, I have to do some errands before heading to work. I'll see you over there later! But if I keep coming back and forth to and from my shop, please don’t keep asking me the same thing over and over again like Barack Obama did to Kim Jong-un during the missile crisis.”

A cutaway shows Kim Jong-un running to the white house and running into Obama’s office and Obama asks, “Have you finished launching those missiles?” Kim Jong-un runs back to North Korea, but suddenly he runs right back to the white house and into Obama’s office, and Obama asks, “Have you finished launching those missiles?” Then Kim ran back to Korea again, and then ran back to the white house, and Obama asks again, “Have you finished launching those missiles?” Ironically, Obama was wearing two hats. The cutaway ends.

"Bye, Flare!" Lyra waved as I trotted away. Lyra sighs and stares at me again as I walked.

So I headed over to the market place to run a couple of errands. Meanwhile, a couple of ponies were talking to a pony behind a stand, and the pony behind the stand explains his stock; "Organic artichokes, organic lettuce, organic carrots...."

"Does your cauliflower have that carbon flip?" the customer asked.

"Not at all." the seller said.

"MELONS!" a pony comedian by the name of Gallagher yells, as he starts smashing the melons with a mallet. "MELONS! OH YEEEEAAAAH!"

"Well that was uncalled for." the customer said.

"Uhh, Mr. Gallagher?" the seller asked.

"INCOMING!" Gallagher yelled, as he continued smashing the melons, and laughed.

"So wasteful!" the seller said, feeling insulted.

Just then two guitar players started playing on stage, and one of them says; "You know, Jimmy; folks who save hundreds of dollars switching to Geico sure are happy!"

"How happy are they, Ronnie?" the other guitar player asked.

"Happier than Gallagher in a farmer's market!" the first guitar player said, as they continued playing their guitars.

"Get happy, get Geico! 15 minutes, could save you 15% or more!" a voice in the background said.

Meanwhile, I look around the area and say to myself; "Now where's that grapefruit stand?"

"Hi, Flare!" Bonnie said walking towards me.

"Wow! What a coincidence to be seeing you here, Bonnie!" I said.

"Well, before I head to work, I wanted to do some errands." Bonnie said.

"Really? Me too!" I said excitedly. "I'm looking for the grapefruit stand."

"Oh! Follow me, I'll take you there!" Bonnie said as she started walking and I followed her.

"So why did you leave my trailer after I was sick?" I asked.

"Oh. Sorry about that. I saw a poster that said 'Video Games for Sale'! So I was like, maybe Flare would want some." Bonnie said.

"Really? Well, thanks!” I said.

“Want me to get you some?” Bonnie asked.

“Oh no thanks; I got so many video games I haven’t even opened yet.” I said.

"Oh but I must get you some! They're really fun! You, Spike, and I can play them all night tonight until our eyes tear mustard!" Bonnie said.

"Wait, you like video games too?" I asked.

"Of course! Now go ahead and get your grapefruit, and meet me at the fountain later!" Bonnie said as she runs off.

"Wait! What about...." I yelled out, but she was already too far away for her to hear me. "I thought you were going to show me where the grapefruit stand is? Sigh." So I was still looking for the grapefruit stand. I was getting pretty impatient. "Angry face! Where the Wizard of Feelings is that grapefruit stand! DANG!"

"Oh hi, Flare!" Lyra said.

"Oh Lyra! I thought you were heading to the shop?" I asked.

"Oh, I didn't want to be alone with HER!" Lyra said.

"Who? Ditzy? What did she do to you?" I asked.

"No, not Ditzy! That..... I don't want to say her name!" Lyra said.

“She who must not be named? I get it.” I nodded. "Weeeeeell, do you have any idea where the grapefruit stand is?"

"Yes! Follow me!" Lyra said as she began to walk.

"Following.” I said as I started following her.

"You know, I was around the neighborhood and I found this!" Lyra said taking out a cellphone.

"Holy Wizard of Strength! Is that... my cell phone? HAPPY FACE! I lost this in the sewers yesterday! Where did you find it?" I asked.

"At the trainstation after you said your farewells to Pinkie Pie and the others after they left for Canterlot, I decided to go through the sewers to get it back. I was there all night looking for it! I found it, and it was still working!" Lyra said.

"WOW LYRA! Thank you! I mean, this is great!" I said as I hugged her.

"No problem, Flare! I still have to drop off my paycheck to the bank. I'll see you later, Flare!" Lyra said as she ran off.

“WAIT!” I yelled, but she was top far away. “Really, what can a stallion do to know where a simple grapefruit stand is?!”

I took me a while, but I finally found the grapefruit stand, and bought some nice fresh grapefruits; afterwards I walked to the olive stand and got some olives, then I bought some onions and peppers; most of these are for the shop though. While I was walking to the shroom stand, I saw Bon Bon again.

"Hi, Flare!" Bonnie said, holding up a stack of video games.

"Hey, Bonnie! Nice collection of video games!” I said impressively.

“Thanks! I’m actually giving them all to you.” Bonnie said.

“But I told you I didn’t want any.” I said.

“C’mon, I insist! You’re the coolest pony ever!” Bonnie said.

“Naaaah, I wouldn’t say the coolest. I mean, I don’t wear a black leather jacket, have some thick black wavy hair, or lean on a jukebox and it play a random 50’s rock song as I kick it, but the awesomest pony, I wouldn’t argue with you there.” I said.

“Well, if you want me to return these, I can.” Bonnie offered.

“Well, let’s not be so copy ‘n pasty now; you did, after all, offer these to me, and went through all the trouble, soooooo…. I’ll take them off your back.” I said as I took the video games. “Thank you, sista!”

"You're welcome!" Bonnie said. "Listen, Flare. I want to ask you something."

"Axe away!" I said. "But careful of how you swing!"

Bon Bon chuckles and says; "There was something I've always wanted to tell you. It's kinda personal."

“Is it the reason why you keep laughing at my unfunny jokes?” I asked.

“Yeah, kinda, but this is a HUGE favor.” Bonnie said.

"No, you're not getting a raise right now. I'll let you know when you're ready for it." I said.

"No, I don't care about that. I wanted to say..... well.... you've been the most kindest, funniest, and most handsome pony I've ever met in my entire life!" Bonnie said.

“Kindest? Wow, that’s a new one.” I chuckled

"So, I was wondering. Do you have plans tonight?" Bonnie asked.

"Well I was looking forward to play Mass Effect with Spike later." I said.

"Oh! It's okay then, I just wanted to ask you out to dinner! My treat!" Bonnie offered.

"Oh, alright then! I'll have to talk to Spike though. Hang on.” So I took out my cell phone and gave Spike a quick phone call. "Hello? Yeah, what's going on brah? Yeah. Uh huh. Listen, Bon Bon is treating me for dinner tonight. Alright. Yeah. Of course! No I didn’t get the rodent traps. I’m not going to, I hate killing things. Oh we’re just putting it in a coma? Ok, I can live with that. Yes, my mom calls me every morning, just delete all the voice messages on my answering machine. I don’t care if Aunt Beretta Gun’s in the hospital, delete all the messages. Alright, thanks bro! Bye!" I ended the call, and I said to Bon Bon, "Alright, as long as we don't stay out too late, we're cool!"

"Great! So I'll meet you at Soup ‘n Salads, oh say 8:00?" Bonnie asked.

"AM or PM?" I asked.

"PM silly!" Bonnie said.

"Sorry, I can't make 8:00, but I can make 8:01! Lion face." I teased.

"Oooookay, see you then!" Bonnie said as she kisses me on the cheek and walks away.

I just stood there in silence with a derp-look on my face. “What?” I asked myself. “What? Wh-wh-WHAT?!”

Just then the ponies that were waiting in line for mushrooms were getting impatient. "Hey, hurry it we want some shrooms!” one of the ponies said impatiently.

"Yeah, really, really, really, really good! So, yeah, hurry, please. What’s taking you so long? Come on! Come on!” a very hyper and skinny pale, and bloodshot eyed pony said.

I walked away with my groceries, mostly because that hyper pony that really wanted the shrooms kinda freaked me out. On the way to the shop, guess what happened…. I met up with Lyra again!

"Hey again, Flarey!" Lyra said.

"You kinda remind me of my sister, because she calls me Flarey. What’s going on?” I asked.

"Just coming back from the bank! Where you going?" Lyra asked.

"Back to the shop, where you should be right now.” I said.

"Of course!" Lyra chuckled and said. "So.... um, Flare? I just wanted to ask you something."

"You too, huh? Well be sure to aim for the tree, not the Flarester!" I said.

"Well, I'm kinda nervous. I don't.... think I can.... do it." Lyra stuttered.

"Lyra, you can tell me anything! You told me about your secret, and I told nopony! Well, except that everypony found out earlier. I don’t remember, did I tell everypony your secret?” I asked.

“Alright, well….” Lyra gulps. “Here it goes.”

“Taste it stops.” I said.

"Alright..... it's.... coming." Lyra said very nervously.

"So is Hearth's Warming. Mischievious face." I said.

"So, Flare.... will you go out to dinner with me?" Lyra asked with an embarrassing smile on her face and she lets out a squee.

"Oh, tonight?" I asked.

"Yeah!" Lyra said.

"Well, I'd love to! Although....."

"YOU WILL?! GREAT!" Lyra cheered in excitement. "So we'll meet at the Taco Shack across from Salads 'n' Soups later at 8:05 tonight!"

“That’s great, Lyra!” I said. "Well, the thing is....."

"You're the best, Flare! I knew I can count on you!" Lyra cheered then she kissed me on the cheek and ran away.

“What?!” I shouted. “Wh-wh-WHAT?! Wait, isn’t the male pony suppose to ask the female out? Wait a second…. Uh oh; I'm a deep-water now!" Just then, out of the blue or out of the bloom however you say it, I appeared in the middle of a lake, and I started to sink into the water without moving a muscle from my body. Bubbles came out of the water, and one of the bubbles came up and popped, and it said, "Sad face." But really, this here is troubling for me. This seems like a ‘duh’ moment, but I think Bonnie and Lyra have a crush on me. That how you say it? Have a crush, or is it has a crush? Anyways, at the end of the day, I was back at home playing Mass Effect with Spike. I was playing, but looked upset, and it was spoiling my tactics; it worried Spike.

"What's going on, bro?" Spike asked. "You don't seem to be playing as good today."

"Well, let's just say, I bit off more than I can swallow." I said.

"Chew.” Spike corrected me.

“Gesundheit.” I said. “Anyways, I believe I'm about to lose one or two friendships tonight. Sad face.” I said.

"What happened?" Spike asked as he paused the game and lets go of the controller.

"Well.... you know my employees: Lyra and Bon Bon, right?" I asked.

"Of course I do, everypony knows them.” Spike said.

A cutaway shows a bunch of angry background ponies. “What? Don’t I matter?” Amethyst Star asked.

“Doesn’t anypony know we exist?!” Sassaflash complained.

“After all we’ve been through!” Sea Swirl complained.

“I was with Derpy when we accidentally dropped packages on Twilight, and all the attention was on her, and I share Derpy’s design!” Raindrops complained.

“Can I get in on this?” Frederick Horseshoepin asked. “Everypony pays attention to one member of our band: Octavia, and nopony even pays attention to me, Beauty Brass, or Parish Nandermane?”

“Hey, you got a character on the app, I don’t know why you’re complaining.” Sea Swirl pointed out. The cutaway ends.

"So it turns out they both gave eachother a different vacation for them both to go on, but neither of them agreed, then they started traveling their separate ways.” I explained. “Now, after I sweet talked them, they both want to go out with me, and now I-D-K what to do."

"Wow, this seems serious." Spike said as he patted me on the shoulder. "Why is your shoulder all wrinkled up and soggy?"

"Three ponies cried on it yesterday." I said. "It's tough trying to make ponies feel better."

"Well I'm no expert on dating, but if you want to try to make both of them happy and keep their friendship with you, I might have an idea." Spike said.

"You 'might' have an idea?" I asked.

"Okay. Do they both want to meet you at the same place?" Spike asked.

"No. Bon Bon wants to meet me at the Soup ‘n Salads, and Lyra wants to meet me at Taco Shack." I said.

"Great! So they're just right across the street from eachother!" Spike said. "So how about you go to Bon Bon first, say you need to go to the bathroom, or something so you can move with Lyra on her date, then switch between the two until the dates are over!"

"Oh no! I'm not doing that! We've all seen Mrs. Doubtfire! That renovation just doesn't work!" I said.

"Just try it. Do you have a better plan?" Spike asked.

"No." I said.

"Then just do it. I believe in you, bro!" Spike said.

"Thanks, brah! You're the best!" I said as we bro-hoofed, or bro-clawed, whichever.

“By the way, the rat that’s in a coma right now, it turns out that he was only here for food for his children, and now his family is under the trailer and they’re starving.” Spike pointed out.

“Well, that’s no problem, we can just take care of them until daddy wakes up again.” I suggested.

“Good idea.” Spike nodded.

“Great, so you take care of the rat children, I’m gonna plan my date!” I said as I walked out.

“Sure, you got it, Fla-HEY!” Spike yelled.

So it was 8:01, and Bon Bon was waiting at the Soup ‘n Salads. Bon Bon sighed and said; "Where is he?" Just then, I walked inside the restaurant and sat down across of Bon Bon. “Hey, baby!” she said.

I felt a little uncomfortable by hearing the word 'baby' during these circumstances. "Hey.” I said.

"You look handsome!" she said to him smiling.

"Thanks! You too!" I said.

Bon Bon giggled and said; "Silly! I can't be handsome, I'm a mare! I can only be beautiful!"

"Straight face." I said. "Yeah, of course..... what was I thinking?” I was feeling pretty nervous right now. I really didn't want to be on this date, but do I have a choice right now? I looked at my cell phone clock and it was 8:02.

"Sooooo, how are your fish?" Bonnie asked.

"They're great! Dorthey usually splashes me when I feed her, but today, she actually splashed me before I feed her!” I said.

Bon Bon giggled and said, "Your fish are crazy!"

"Yeah, I know.” I said. “Hey, have you seen Mrs. Doubtfire?”

“No.” Bonnie said.

“Ok good.” I said.

“Why is it good?” Bonnie asked.

“Do you want to see Robin Williams dressed as a woman?” I asked.

After a while, 8:05 came, and it was time to go to the next part of my plan, I got out of my seat and said; "Listen, Bonnie. I have to go pee-pee! Oh man, I have to go pee-pee real bad!" I started dancing.

"Okay, okay! I'll wait for you!" Bonnie said as she winked at me.

So I walked out of the Soup ‘n Salads and walked across the street to Taco Shack, and saw Lyra waiting, and I sat down at the round booth she’s sitting at. "Hey, sugar-plum!" Lyra said, looking at me seductively.

"I... I didn't know there was sugar.... in.... in plums! L-O-L!" I said nervously.

Lyra giggled. "You have such a great sense of humor! I think that's romantic!” Lyra said moving closer to me.

"Uhhh.... yeah." I said nervously as I tried to move away from her. Lyra came closer, I moved away again, she moved closer, and I moved away until I fell off the side of the booth.

Lyra giggled and asked, “Are you alright?”

“Personal space.” I said. “I need my personal outer space.”

“If you say so.” Lyra shrugged as I hopped back onto the booth.

“Ugh that’s disgusting!” I complained.

”What’s wrong?” Lyra asked.

“There’s gum under these tables!” I said.

“Oh now that’s nasty.” Lyra said. So after we talked for a few minutes, it was time to switch places.

"Listen, Lyra, I have to go pee-pee, real bad!" I said as I danced around in place.

"Go on ahead! Nopony's stopping you!" Lyra said.

"Thanks!" I said as I ran out the door and went back to Bon Bon. I ran inside the restaurant, and sat down with her, panting and wheezing.

"Wow, Flare! You look tired!" Bonnie pointed out.

"Huh? Oh yeah, it turned out I needed to poop. It really takes a lot out of ya.” I said.

"How about a nice shoulder massage?" Bonnie offered.

After hearing that offer, I did that facial expression I did earlier in the chapter; the one with the teeth and side-ways angle smirk. "Oh, no. It's fine. I don't....."

"No worries! You'll need it!" Bonnie insisted as she walked behind Flare and gave me a massage. Holy Wizard of Feelings! Looks like Bon Bon is really desperate for a relationship. She's doing too much for me, and I'm not liking this; it's going to be really hard to get her and Lyra’s friendship back on track, but there’s something about all this that’s not really adding up, but I can’t place my non-existing finger on it.

After a few minutes of massages, I said, "Listen, I have to.... go poo-poo again.”

"Oh, alright!" Bonnie said as she stopped. "Take your time!"

"Don't worry I will!" I said as I ran back to Lyra at Taco Shack.

"Soooo, did you think about me in there?" Lyra asked, giving me a seductive look.

"I hardly think that’s any of your business.” I said in a fancy voice.

"Are you okay, sweetie? You seem a little nervous." Lyra said worryingly.

"Nervous?" I asked. "Nope; no nervous pony here. No nervous pony here. Please leave a message after the beep. Beeeeeeeeeep!"

"You need to relax! Here, I'll give you a hind hoof massage!" Lyra offered.

"Oh no, it's alright. My shoes have been on all day, and my hind hooves are likely to be a wee bit stinky and dirty." I said.

"Oh nonsense! I can handle it!" Lyra said, then she went under the table, took off my front left shoe and started massaging it.

“Are you sure you can handle it?” I asked.

“Of course, I clean up your shop bathroom all the time.” Lyra said. Ok, this is getting way out of hoof. Lyra seems desperate too, and me just letting her do all this nice stuff for me isn't helping her getting back together with Bon Bon. I'm really between a rock and a hard place right now. As I was thinking that, somepony placed a rock to the right of me.

"Hey, mind if I keep this here?" the pony asked.

"Not at all.” I said. Just then ,another pony moved a metal cube with the words 'A Hard Place' on it at the other side of me.

"Really?” I asked annoyingly, and the pony shrugged.

After a few minutes went by, I pointed to the other side of the room and said to Lyra. "Hey, is that a human?”

“WHAT?! WHERE?!” Lyra looks over in excitement as I ran back to Bonnie in a flash.

"I'm here!" I said as I sat down with her.

"Great!" Bonnie said as she looked down under the table and asked, "Where's one of your shoes?"

“Why are you looking down there?” I asked.

”Just askin’.” Bonnie said.

"Uh oh, must have left it in the bathroom. Back in a sec!" I said as I was just about to run back to Taco Shack to get it, but then the waiter came over and brought the food we ordered.

"Dinner is served!" he said.

"Well, I'll get it later. Let's enjoy our meals!" I said. I can never say no to a nutritious meal! I started shoveling my food in my mouth really fast because I needed to get back to Lyra. As I was shoveling the food down my throat, some of the food gets on Bon Bon.

"Wow, you sure seem hungry!" Bonnie said, wiping the food off her face.

“What is this, 20 questions or something?” I asked impatiently.

“That wasn't even a question.” Bonnie corrected me.

When I was finished, which actually took me 62 seconds to complete the whole meal, I said to Bonnie, "Going to go find my shoe! B-R-B!" So I ran back to Lyra and I saw the food is already ready.

"Alright, you're back!" Lyra said excitedly. "The food came while you were gone!"

"Well what do you know! I sure am starving!" I said, as my stomach rumbled and I was already feeling full. I quickly shovel my food down my throat in a heart-beat, and some of the food gets on Lyra.

"Wow, you sure are hungry tonight, babe!" Lyra said, as she wipes her face with her napkin.

"Lyra, you’re more alike to Bonnie than you think.” I pointed out.

“Don’t mention her name to me!” Lyra yelled. After I finished my food, I started to feel a bit sick. "Are you alright, babe? You seem a little under the weather."

"Nonsense, I'm fine." I said as I felt something coming up my throat, but I swallowed it and kept it down. "I'm going to go get a tum. B-R-B." So I started limping over to the Soup ‘n Salads as I held my stomach in pain.

"My, my! You don't look so hot." Bonnie said in worry as I sat next to her.

"What? You don't think I'm hot anymore?" I asked.

"No! I think you're very hot!" Bonnie yelled. "It's just... you look sick."

"Nope, not sick. No sick pony here!" I lied. "Please leave a message after the beep. Beeeeeeeep!"

"So, I suppose you're ready for your present?" Bonnie asked.

"Present?" I asked.

"Yes!" Bonnie said as she took out a necklace and places it around my neck.

"Wow! It's beautiful!" I said as I gave out a sickly burp. "How do I look?"

"Adorable!" Bonnie said, fluttering her eyes at me.

"Thanks!” I smiled. “Praise the- ooooooh.” It looked like I was going to do number 4, so I run outside and vomit in the trash can. I laid my head on the trash can as I tried to catch my breath; my face also turned green; I then walked back to Lyra at Taco Shack and sat down with bubbles popping over my head.

"Wow, Flare! You're turning green!" she said.

"Well it ain't easy being green." I said.

"Well now that you're here.... TIME FOR DESERT!" Lyra yelled. Then a group of Mexican singer ponies started playing music, and one placed a sombrero on me and they gave me a big sundae with a brownie inside, and some hot sauce in it.

I just stuck out my tongue and said, “Bleh.”

Suddenly, out of suspicion, Lyra looks at the necklace that's around my neck. "Hey! Where did you get that necklace? I didn't see you wear before you came back."

"Huh?!” I yelled as I took off the necklace and places it behind my back. "Necklace? What necklace?"

"The necklace that's behind your back?" Lyra pointed out.

"Oh this?" I asked, taking out the necklace, and I suddenly got really nervous again. I had to think of what to say, but luckily I thought of an idea just like that. "I got it.... for you! Here take it!"

Lyra became very happy and she gasped. "Oh my! Flare it's beautiful!" Lyra hugs Flare and says; "Flare, I think you are my very special somepony!" she then suddenly kisses me in the mouth.

I froze, and my eyes start to shrink and sweat started running down my face. This didn't feel right to me. What’s Lyra’s problem? After Lyra was done kissing, I said; "That was great, Lyra! But I have to.... go get my shoe!" I ran out the door and ran back to the Soup ‘n Salads.

“Wait! Your shoe is….” Lyra called out, but I was already gone before she can tell me that my shoe was under the table.

I ran back to Bonnie in the flash, and she was starting to get a bit suspicious. "Where have you been?" Bonnie asked. "And why are you wearing a sombrero?"

"Oh this?" I asked as I took off the sombrero and think of a lie to get me out of this. "It's.... for you, Bonnie! I hope you like it!" I gave Bon Bon the sombrero, and she placed it on her head.

"Oh Flare! This is the most wonderful thing anypony has ever given me!" Bonnie said as her eye pupils grew. She then leans close to me and says, "Flare, I think I've found my very special somepony!" Bon Bon then kisses me in the mouth as well. Wow, I am so totally a mess right now! I gotta find a way out of this, and get these two’s friendship back in order. At this moment I felt that I knew the reason why they were so attracted to me. I mean really, who could be attracted to somepony handsome like me? Doesn’t make sense.

"Pardon me, Bonnie.” I interrupted her. “But I have to...."

I just cut off in mid-sentence, and I start running out of the restaurant and into the middle of the street, but uh oh, I’m in trouble now! Lyra was standing there in the middle of the street and asks me, "Flare? Seriously, why are you avoiding me?"

Bon Bon runs out of the street as well and asks; "Flare, what's going on....?" Bon Bon notices Lyra standing in front of me and she gets really angry. "What are you doing here?!"

“I'm on a date with my new special somepony: Flare!" Lyra said taking my hoof.

“Oh dear, I saw this coming.” I said.

"WHAT?! I'm on a date with my new special somepony: Flare!" Bonnie yelled taking my other hoof.

"You wish! He's mine!" Lyra yelled, pulling me towards her.

"MINE!" Bonnie yelled, doing the same thing.

"MINE!"

“MINE! MINE! MINE! MINE! MINE!” a bunch of seagulls yelled repeatedly while hanging on a bench on the side of the road. Lyra and Bonnie kept yelling 'mine' as they kept pulling me away from one-another.

"Flare, you love me right?" Lyra asked.

"No, Flare. Don't listen to her! You love me!" Bonnie yelled.

"I'll clean your fish tank!" Lyra begged.

"I'll play video games all the time with you!" Bonnie begged.

"I'll cook all your meals!" Lyra begged.

"I'll clean your whole trailer!" Bonnie begged.

"I'll mow your lawn... or Twilight's lawn I mean!" Lyra begged.

"I'll be your personal bodyguard!" Bonnie begged.

Bon Bon and Lyra kept making promises to me, which started driving me crazy! I then finally lost it. "SHUT UUUUUUUUUUP!" I yelled like how the Kindergarten Cop yelled. "SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! Look, I less then three you both, but I only love you as friends, NOTHING MORE! I'm glad to have you both do all these nice stuff, but really it's too much! I can't be in a relationship with you two! Look, I know what’s going on; you don’t really love me, do you?” Bonnie and Lyra looked at eachother curiously. “No, of course not! You’re only using me because you feel lonesome, and because I sweet-talked you, you think I’m the perfect replacement, but you two are best friends, and I do NOT wanna be in the way of it. This is too much, I’m sorry. I bit off more than I can swallow for you two-“

“Chew!” Spike yelled from the distance.

“Gesundheit!” I yelled out at him. “So, please, please, pleeeeeeease just make-up and be friends again, and let me have some peace already, for Wizard of Hope’s sake!” I explained as I tried to catch my breath. Lyra and Bon Bon started tearing and began to cry. I then facehoofed myself and said, "Oh for Wizard of Hope's sake!" I started to feel bad for yelling at them; I do lose my temper easily sometimes; runs on my mom’s side of the family. As they were weeping, I place the two sad ponies together so they can hug it out. Eventually, they started to calm down. "Look. You two are great friends, you really are, but all this giving and loving is too much for me! Like I said, I'm not interested in being in a relationship for now. I know you two really want somepony, but you should look at eachother's eyes and see that one pony that’ll keep you company until that time comes.”

Lyra and Bon Bon looked at eachother very sadly. "I know you two paid alot money for those vacations, but you know what? Maybe you two should trade in those tickets for something bigger! Go someplace you both would want to go! What do you say?” I suggested.

Lyra and Bon Bon smiled at eachother. "Lyra, I am so sorry. I guess I didn't know you wanted to go to Los Pegasus so much. You know what? Let's go there!" Bonnie said.

"I’m sorry too; we shouldn’t let one little vacation ruin our friendship, but I insist we go to Fillydelphia.” Lyra suggested.

The two of them hugged again, and all is finally forgiven now. "No seriously let's go to Los Pegasus." Bonnie said.

"But I don't want to go there anymore. I want to go to Fillydelphia, for you!" Lyra said.

"No, let's go to Los Pegasus. You wanted to go there!" Bonnie started raising her voice.As they argued and glared at eachother, they just laughed.

"Wow, I'm glad things are back to normal, huh?" I asked.

“So how are we going to settle this?” Lyra asked Bonnie.

“I dunno, but I’m sure we can think of something.” Bonnie nodded.

“So, we all cool now? We all happy face?" I asked.

“Here, let’s just head over to your place, go on the computer, and discuss it there.” Lyra suggested.

“Sounds good to me!” Bonnie said.

"Is anypony listening to me?" I asked. Lyra and Bon Bon started walking away, leaving me alone in the middle of the street. “What? Wh-wh…. WHAT?!” I yelled.

“What’s wrong?” Spike asked as he walked over to me.

"You know something? I actually liked it better when they were fighting for me. I had more attention, and they say they'd do all my chores.” I said.

“C’mon, you know they didn’t mean that; they were lost and confused in their own fantasies. They were just desperate for somepony to make their emptiness full again, but you know what? Who needs a relationship, when you have good friends?” Spike explained.

“Wow, Spike; that was beautiful.” I said.

“Yeah, fortunes from fortune cookies do make good points.” Spike said, holding up a fortune cookie.

“Isn’t that plagiarism?” I asked.

“It’s only plagiarism if you take from Wikipedia, and you know what? Twilight uses plagiarism all the time.” Spike said.

I chuckled. “Heh, nerd!”

“Yeah.” Spike said.

“Hmm, that reminds me. Bro, can you take a message for the princess?” I asked him.

“You got it!” Spike took out a piece of paper and a pen, and was waiting for me to tell him my message.

“Make sure you use red ink.” I requested.

“Got it.” Spike switches the pen ink’s color and begins to write my message.

"Dear Princess Luna.” I started. “Sometimes being in a relationship is very tough, and it's either that pony would do anything for you, or they'd force you to do anything for them in order to stay with you, it depends on who is really in love here. My point is: you should always be there for your friends at their time of need, and try to work stuff out on any conflict they have. The problem might be solved, if not, I'm sure there's a way to get through it.
Your friend,
Flare Gun.
PS: Have you seen a missing front left shoe?"

“Wait, what happened to your shoe?” Spike asked.

“I dunno.” I shrugged. Spike and I just stood there in the middle of the street emotionless. We just looked at eachother, and then eventually, I gave him that smirky teeth face I kept making throughout this chapter.

Author's Note

This chapter's story stays the same, but there are a bunch of changes on here. Originally, Lyra and Bonnie were a couple, and back then I wanted alot of fandom content on here, but canonly, I don't think these two are a couple. I'm not against that particular fandom but I'm not with it, I'm not into random shippings, unless they're funny, like the Mac 'n Cheese one. XD Other edits are obvious on here: grammar and spelling check, took out some leet speak, and put in some cutaway gags. One of them was made by my friend Keith and his OC are going to have more appearances in future.

Apple Kitchen Deluxe

It's been four days since Lyra and Bon Bon's make-up. It was a bright and sunny day at Sweet Apple Acres; the Apple family was sitting down at breakfast together. AppleJack yawns and walks into the kitchen along with her brother Big McIntosh, her sister Apple Bloom, and her grandmother Granny Smith.

"Mornin’, family!" AppleJack greeted them.

"AppleJack! AppleJack!” Apple Bloom cried out in excitement.

"What is it little sis?" AppleJack asked her.

"I finally got my cutie mark!" Apple Bloom yelled.

"Really? That’s great! Wait, ya didn’t drink any of Zecora’s potions, did you?” AppleJack asked.

“No, no, nothin’ like that.” Apple Bloom said.

“Then what is it?” AppleJack asked. “Is it a pretty little apple flower?”

“Nope! Guess again.” Apple Bloom said.

“Is it a type of apple pastry? Ya did make a fine apple fritter last night.” AppleJack said.

“Nope!” Apple Bloom said.

“Is it a telephone with three X’s on it and a heart?” Granny Smith teased and winked.

“That only happened once!” Apple Bloom yelled.

A cutaway shows Apple Bloom sitting on her couch and she was on the phone with somepony on the other line. “What am ah wearin’? Umm… a bow? No, that’s it. Ah ain’t wearin’ anything else. Why are ya gigglin’? Ah don’t- ah don’t get it, what’s so funny? Do ah have any whip cream? Yeah, why? Yeah ah got cherries. Sure, ah’ll get some; ah dunno, ya want a pie with that? Ok, what kind? Look, ah really don’t get what you’re talkin’ about, Spike.” The cutaway ends.

“Your cutie mark ain’t a pear is it? Ah hate pears.” AppleJack said.

“So do I.” the Doctor said as he stuck his head through the window.

“Nope; give up?” Apple Bloom asked.

AppleJack sighs. “Yeah.”

"IT'S A TRAP!" Apple Bloom yelled, showing her cutie mark to AppleJack which had Admiral Ackbar’s head on it. AppleJack jumped and lost her balance, and then she falls on the kitchen counter, breaking it.

Apple Bloom started laughing as I came out from behind the curtains laughing along with her; then we high hooved. “We got you good, AppleJack!” I teased.

"Looks like AppleJack is in a fishy situation, huh Flare?" Apple Bloom teased, and then we laughed some more.

"What the hay just happened? What is that, Apple Bloom?” AppleJack asked.

"It was a prank!" Apple Bloom said.

"Apple Bloom doesn't really have her flank tattoo yet. I just painted an ugly picture of Admiral Ackbar on her behind, and then she yelled 'IT'S A TRAP!' and you were really surprise face! Ex dee! Ex dee! Ex dee!" I teased.

“Don’t ya deny it, AppleJack. We did getchya good.” Apple Bloom said.

"Eeyup!” Big Mac nodded in agreement.

"Flare, yer a bad influence on mah family; no offense." AppleJack said.

"None taken. You're trying to teach me better, right? Right, AppleJack? Right?" I asked.

"Mah friends and ah wouldn't be who we are if we weren't." AppleJack said, and then she mumbled to herself, "Even if it is kinda against mah will."

"Mah counter!” Granny Smith cried, walking near her old wooden counter. "I've been cutting food from that counter for years, and it was fixed! Oh wait.... what's the opposite of fixing things?"

"Aw, sorry Granny Smith; ah didn't know what to expect!" AppleJack said to her, patting her on the back.

"OW! My back!" Granny Smith yelled.

"Oh, sorry!" AppleJack lifted her arm away quickly. She turned to Apple Bloom and I giving us an ugly look. Apple Bloom just stood there whistling, and I was trying to use my tongue to reach my nose.

"Look what I can do, AppleJack!” I said excitedly.

"Flare? Apple Bloom? What do you have to say to Granny Smith?" AppleJack asked both of us.

“Yeah, Apple Bloom, we should do the right thing and apologize.” I told her.

“You’re right. Sorry, Granny Smith." Apple Bloom said sadly.

"Yeah, sorry that your back hurts now.” I said. “I know a good chiropractor that could help you out: Alan Harper.”

“Ah think ya mean to apologize for makin’ me break the kitchen counter.” AppleJack corrected me.

"Oh that?" I waved my hoof up and down giving her a raspberry. "That's nothing! You can replace a counter easily; I know lots on Home Improvement!"

“Ya do?” AppleJack asked.

“Sure I do! I helped remodel Noteworthy’s house.” I said.

A cutaway shows me with Noteworthy outside his house while I wore a construction hat with vest and belt, and I tell Noteworthy, “Alright, brah; your house is good to go!” I said.

“Thanks for remodeling my house for me. This place needed a good makeover, and a new staircase.” Noteworthy said.

“No prob! Just head on in, and enjoy your stay.” I opened the door for him, letting him inside.

“Alright!” Noteworthy trots inside his house, but he trips over and starts getting knocked down a couple of stairs, and by a couple, I mean a lot of stairs; stairs that go up and down, ones that go sideways, and even though it feels like he’s being knocked down the stairs, he’s actually going up. His whole house was like some of that illusion artwork with the staircases all around.

“Heheheh.” I chuckled. “Shtairs. Shtairs, shtairs, shtairs.” The cutaway ends.

Big McIntosh was reading the newspaper, but then he sniffed out a stench that’s been breezing through the room and into his nose. “Hmmm.” He thought to himself.

“What’s wrong, Big Mac?” AppleJack asked. Everypony looked over to the stove, and it started to burn.

"Oh my stars! RUN FOR THE HILLS!" Granny Smith yelled as it looked like she was about to run, but then she limped very slowly back outside.

"Yes, run for the halls! Let's get the hay outta here!" I yelled as I picked up Apple Bloom and Granny Smith with my magic with no problems, but Big Mac was too heavy to pick up, even with my magic. Winona barks at me, wanting me to pick her up too. I looked down at her and said, “Nope.”

"Eeyup!” Big Mac said as he picks up every one of us, except for AppleJack though, and runs outside, escaping from the burning kitchen.

“Well ah ain’t goin’ down without a fight!” AppleJack bravely said as she takes out a bucket of water and pours it on the stove, taking out the fire instantly. AppleJack takes a deep breath and wipes the sweat from her forehead, but when she thought she was in the clear, the fire comes back and it spreads throughout the kitchen. "Wait for me!" she yelled as she ran outside behind us.

A little while later, the Ponyville Fire Department came and took out the fire. AppleJack, Apple Bloom, Big Mac, Granny Smith, Winona, and I were waiting outside until the all-clear was given by the fire fighters.

“That was the scariest thing ah’ve ever been through in mah entire life!” Apple Bloom said frighteningly, holding her sister close to her.

“Mine too; I’ve never been through a kitchen fire before!” I said as I too held onto AppleJack in fright.

“Now don’t you both worry; we’re nice and safe outside, and whatever damage that fire done, it’s not like we haven’t had a destroyed barn before.” AppleJack said.

"Well, the fire's out Apples. It's safe for you to come in now." the Fire Chief said to us.

“What’s the damage?” AppleJack asked.

"All rooms are fine, except for the kitchen which looks like it needs replacing.” The Fire Chief said.

"Oh no!" Granny Smith cried, running into, no wait, I meant ‘limping’ to her kitchen, to check out the damage the fire’s done.

“Big Mac? Would you be so kind?” AppleJack asked.

“Eeyup.” Big Mac said as he carried Granny Smith inside the barn so she can check out the damage the fire’s done.

“Wow, Granny Smith’s really worried.” Apple Bloom said.

“Well, Granny Smith was a very happy and spiritual mare.” AppleJack said.

“But then everything when the fire nation attacked!” I said.

“Ah hope not too much damage occurred in the kitchen; we’re about to have our national bake sale in a few days.” AppleJack said.

“A bake sale?” I asked.

“Yeah, but this isn’t just an ordinary bake sale; the reason we’re havin’ this bake sale is raise money to donate to the ponies in Dodge Junction. They had a desert tornado hit them recently, and we must gain as much money as we can so they can rebuild.” AppleJack said.

“Oh that’s sad.” I said. “Sad face.”

“Ah know, but without our kitchen, we can’t have our bake sale, and those ponies in Dodge Junction would be left with little to no shelter.” AppleJack said.

“NOOOOOO!” Granny Smith cried.

“Whoa! For a pony that walks slow, she can scream pretty loud.” I said. The three of us ran inside and saw Granny Smith holding a destroyed spoon in her hooves. "Mah favorite spoon. Ah had this spoon every since before ah even moved here. This was mah zap apple spoon.”

“Sounds shocking. Lawl!” I teased.

AppleJack glares at me and whispers, “Flare! This is no time for jokes! Granny Smith’s kitchen is destroyed, and we have no kitchen to the bake the apple goods for the bake sale!”

“I completely understand what you’re going through, AppleJack, and I know we all pitched in at doing damage to the kitchen, and as such, it is part of the Friendship Agreement for me to help you clean up the mess; more specifically: build a new kitchen!” I explained.

“Ah dunno, Flare. Ah’d appreciate the help and all, but ah’m not 100% sure.” AppleJack said.

“But remember when I said that I know my ways around home improvement? You remember right, AppleJack? Lawl remember AppleJack?” I asked.

“Ah still don’t know.” AppleJack said.

“It was an accident, AppleJack. Let Flare, help; he worked hard on tryin’ to help me earn a cutie mark, and help cheer me up by prankin’ you because ah feel ah’d never get it; let him try.” Apple Bloom asked. AppleJack looks at her sister seeing her puppy dog-like eyes, then she looks at me and staring my puppy dog eyes; she sighs and says, “Alright, Flare; if it’s part of the Friendship Agreement, ah can’t get in the way with that.”

“GREAT!” I yelled excitedly as I removed my fake puppy dog eyes from the front of my real eyes. “We’re going to give Granny Smith the best kitchen she ever had! It’s every mare’s dream to have a new remodeled kitchen. This will be more fun than spreading a false rumor about a celebrity!”

A cutaway shows me on my Facebook account, typing an article about Justin Bieber having cancer, and a few days later, I looked up results of this news online, and I see pictures of a bunch of fillies with shaved heads to worship their favorite artist. “HA!” I said. The cutaway ends.

Just then, out of the blue... yeah, I'm pretty sure now that's how I should say it, AppleJack just thought of an idea. "Say! Granny Smith's birthday is coming tomorrow! Maybe we can fix her up a new kitchen!"

"Granny Smith's birthday is coming tomorrow. Maybe we can fix her up a new kitchen!" I repeated

"What? Did you just repeat what ah said?” AppleJack asked.

"You told me to say it." I said.

"No ah didn't." AppleJack shook her head.

"Yes you did, you said: 'Say! Granny Smith's birthday is coming tomorrow. Maybe we can fix her up a new kitchen! Y'all!' Remember?" I reminded her.

AppleJack facehoofed herself and shook her head. “Ah didn't even say y'all that time."

"You didn't have to. I pictured you saying it, or, to make a bit more sense, I feel I heard you say it because if I pictured it, it's more of a sight thing then a hearing thing." I said.

"That sounds like a wonderful idea, sweetie. It does feel nice to have a change of scenery.” Granny Smith smiled abd saud,

AppleJack smiled and said; "Thanks Granny Smith! Ah know it won't be-."

"Ah wasn't talkin to you! I was talkin to this charmin’ young stallion here!" Granny Smith said as she walked towards me and patted me on the head.

"Yep! I sure am good with the ladies; no matter how old- I mean, young they look!" I said.

"Aww! You're such a sweetheart!" Granny Smith said.

"Lion face” I said. "So we have a plan! Don't we Mac?"

"Eeeyup!” Big Mac nodded.

“Do ever say anything other than ‘eeeyup’?” I asked.

“Big Mac used to be able to talk in full sentences; he was once an auctioneer.” Apple Bloom said.

A cutaway shows Big Mac at an auction trying to bid an old buffalo chief headdress. Big Mac talked really fast as he was trying to bid these items; “Ah got 125, do ah hear 130? 130,000 for this antique buffalo headdress; ah got 130, do ah got 135, do ah got 140, 140-“ just then a repo pony accidentally knocks a tiki pole on Big Mac’s head and he started talking slowly and with less words; “1…4…. Goin’ once…. Eeyup…. Twice…. Eeyup; eeyup or nope?” The cutaway ends.

Some time went by and Granny Smith has packed her things and threw them to the taxi carriage outside. AppleJack, Big Mac, Apple Bloom, and I were standing outside, bidding her farewell, and even my friends Engineer and Crystal were there to also help out with the kitchen. "Have fun on your vacation at Rainbow Falls, Granny Smith!” Apple Bloom said.

"Ah do need a vacation after all that work, but are y’all sure ya don’t wanna come?” Granny Smith asked.

“Sorry, Granny, but we need to all be here to help clean up the mess.” AppleJack said.

"What mess?" Granny Smith asked.

"The one in the kitchen?" Apple Bloom reminded her.

"Shh!" AppleJack shushed her.

“Ah can guarantee that you’ll love what we’ll do to the place!” Engineer said.

“Eeyup!” Big Mac agreed.

“Y’all are such good kids.” Granny Smith said.

“Kids?” Crystal asked. “But I’m twenty-“

“Let her be, Crystal.” AppleJack whispered.

“But before you go, shouldn’t we discuss what kind of kitchen ya want?” Engie asked.

“Surprise me.” Granny Smith requested.

“Surprise you, got it!” Crystal promised. “We’re gonna make you so surprised that it’ll make your wig even jump.”

“Ah’ll have y’all know that this isn’t a wig.” Granny Smith corrected her as she grabbed her own mane, trying to prove it isn’t a wig, but lots of her hair got torn out of place. “Ah maybe losin’ mah hair, but this is definitely not a wig! Ah’d rather die than be bald; ah’ll tell ya that much, dearie.”

“Now, don’t y’all worry ‘bout a thing, Granny; you sure are as strong as a bull, and as hearty as a dolphin.” AppleJack said.

“Or as bully as a strong, and as dolphiny as a heart.” I teased.

“Look, you’re gonna have Apple Strudel, Auntie Applesauce, Apple Rose over at Rainbow Falls along with you, and when ya return in a couple of days, the kitchen will be as good as new, ah promise you that!” AppleJack said.

“Thank you, AppleJack. You, the family, and your friends have always been there to help out in our time of need.” Granny Smith said thankfully.

“Ok that’s touching, now hurry it up; I have other fares to make.” The taxi driver complained.

“I didn’t know you made carnivals.” I said. So Granny Smith gave Engie, Crystal, me, and her family a hug before she trotted over to her taxi. As she walked to her cab, she had a sign on her back that says ‘Look at my apple bottom’.

AppleJack gasped when she saw the sign and removed it from her back. “Alright, which one of you varmints stuck this sign on her back!” AppleJack yelled angrily at Engie, Crystal, and I.

Granny Smith turned around, saw the sign on AppleJack’s hoof, and whacked AppleJack with her purse. “AppleJack, ya know better than to place signs on other pony's backs!”

“Yeah, AppleJack.” Engie teased.

“If the three of you are goin’ to help out in redesigning this kitchen, ya must behave yourselves.” AppleJack demanded.

“Them? You behave yourself, AppleJack. Ah’m relyin’ on you to get this kitchen done. Them ponies over at Dodge Junction need our help!” Granny Smith reminded her.

AppleJack sighed. “Yer right, Granny Smith.”

“Good. Ah’ll see y’all Monday.” Granny Smith waved goodbye as she hopped onto the taxi carriage and the driver took her over to the trainstation so she can travel to Rainbow Falls.

"Don't you worry, Granny Smith! We'll get you that new kitchen! When you're back, you'll forget all about the mess!" AppleJack yelled out.

“Stay in touch!” Apple Bloom yelled out.

“Alright, so let’s get down to business!” Crystal said.

“Alright, now before we get started, allow me to set on a few rules.” AppleJack said.

“Who made you in charge? Big Mac’s the oldest one here, he should be in charge.” I said.

“Nnnope.” Big Mac shook his head and said.

“Why?” I asked.

“He was in charge once; it didn’t go so well.” AppleJack said.

A cutaway shows Big Mac, AppleJack, and Apple Bloom sitting down on the floor; Big Mac was smiling and jumping up and down on his spot, and AppleJack and Apple Bloom was just sitting there awkwardly.

“This is your definition of story-time, Big Mac?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Eeeyup!” Big Mac said.

“Ah like your imagination, big-brother, but ah don’t think your doll can read.” AppleJack said. Up on the chair in front of them is Twilight’s old Smarty Pants doll with a book. The cutaway ends.

“Look, ah’m in charge ‘ere, and ah say we should just get to work.” AppleJack said. “Now to start off with remodelin’ this kitchen, we need to go to the hardware store.”

“Is there a Home Dee-pot here?” I asked.

“Ah don’t think so.” Engie said.

“I hope there’s no Lowes here; Home Dee-pot kicks the living bazinga out of Lowes.” I said.

“First of all: Best Buy has the best kitchen appliances; second, it’s ‘dee-poe’, not ‘dee-pot’.” Engie corrected me.

“You say it your way, and I’ll say it my way.” I said.

“Your way is wrong!” Engie said.

“Like I said: you say it your way, and I’ll say it my way.” I repeated.

“Look, we have none of those stores here in Ponyville; if ya want to go to Home Depot, Lowes, or Best Buy, the nearest city that has those stores is Baltimare.” AppleJack said.

“Does Ponyville have anything?!” I complained.

“Canterlot has a Starbucks.” Crystal informed us.

“Well, that’s something.” I nodded. “Ponyville needs a Cheesecake Factory though.”

AppleJack sighs and says, “Look, ah know of a good hardware store nearby; they have a good-ol collection of kitchen appliances. Now if y’all wanna help, we have to play by the rules.”

“Forget the rules, I like spreading the lulz!” I yelled.

“Ya can spread the lulz another time, but the fate of Dodge Junction rests on our hooves. We need this kitchen fixed up so we can raise the money for the poor little town.” AppleJack said.

“Right, so let’s head to the hardware store while I put in fitting music in the background.” Crystal said. So then, we all walked over to the hardware store while Crystal was playing death metal in the background as the automatic doors opened and we walked inside.

“NO!” I yelled. “This is not fitting music.”

“Seems fitting to me.” Crystal said as she nodded her head up and down with her tongue sticking out and her hooves in the air. I shut off the music in the background and placed more fitting music in the background: Mall Tycoon music! I know this is just a hardware store, not a mall, but this is the best I got on my Ipod.

"So what kind of kitchen are we gonna make?" Apple Bloom asked.

"Ah dunno. Ah’m thinkin’ Granny Smith is going to like the kitchen to look the same." AppleJack said.

"Yeah, right! I have a better kitchen idea! It's time to release the future onto today!” I took AppleJack to a kitchen that looked newer and more advance.

"Flare, uhh, this looks alot like the type of kitchen you have." AppleJack pointed out.

"I know! We're going to make this kitchen look alot like my kitchen! Not identical, but similar." I said.

“Ah dunno, Granny Smith likes more modern kitchens.” AppleJack said.

"Wow! Ah actually like this kitchen! Let's do this one!" Apple Bloom yelled in excitement. "Wanna do this one Big Mac?"

“Eeyup!” Big Mac nodded.

“C’mon AppleJack, that looks nice!” Crystal said.

"Dontcha think this will be too much fer her?" AppleJack asked.

"Look at that fridge, AppleJack! LOOK AT IT! LOOK AT IT! LOOOOOOOK AAAAAAAAAAAT IIIIIIIIIIIIT!" I yelled.

"Alright, alright, jeez!" AppleJack yelled as she looked at the fridge.

"Now look at this fridge.” I pointed to a big silver fridge standing in front of us.

"Yeah, ah see it, but it seems too fancy-smancy." AppleJack said.

"This fridge has an automatic ice maker, a water dispenser, lots of space, little cabinets for fruits, veggies, and a cabinet for cheese and other small items, and the best part is: the fridge has two doors!" I explained in excitement.

“Don’t lots of fridges have two doors?” Crystal asked.

“No, there’s one door for the fridge and another for the freezer, but this one has two doors for one fridge, and the freezer is on the bottom!” I explained.

“Ya gotta get this fridge, AppleJack!” Apple Bloom begged. “Ah mean, what did Granny Smith have, an icebox? Please! Welcome to the future, AppleJack! This isn't the 1800s anymore! The time has come to make change; make stuff easier in life. So what do ya say? Wanna make this kitchen?"

AppleJack started to think about it. "Well....."

"C'mon, AppleJack! Granny Smith would love it!" Apple Bloom said.

AppleJack continues to think, and as she was thinking, the Jeopardy theme song comes on. "Will ya turn that racket off? Ah can't think!" AppleJack complained as Crystal then turned off the music she was playing on her Ipod.

"Alright, fine, we'll go with yer idea." AppleJack smiled a bit and said.

"Yes!" Apple Bloom cheered.

"Eeeyup!” Big Mac cheered.

"Praise the Wiz-wiz-wizies!" I yelled.

“Ah know ah’m gonna regret this, like the time ah let Big Mac drink coffee.” AppleJack said to herself.

A cutaway shows AppleJack reading the newspaper, and she asks her brother, “’Ey, Big Mac? Can ya pass me the butter?”

Big Mac acts all hyper, jumping up and down, and scratching himself. “Eeee-ye-ye-ye-ye-ye-ye-ye-yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyup!” The cutaway ends.

“Now what’s a kitchen without a microwave?” Engie asked, showing us the microwaves.

“I don’t trust the white microwaves.” Crystal said.

“Is that some sort of racist comment, Crystal?” I asked.

“Colors aren’t considered races, Flare; only species of ponies.” Crystal corrected me.

“If ah were you, ah’d get the microwaves with the little button on the bottom of the numbers which opens the microwave.” Engie suggested.

“Lawl you mad, brah? The buttons get sticky and they get stuck; get the ones with the handles instead.” I suggested.

“The handles that can break off?” Engie asked.

“Only those fragile thin ones. These thicker ones will keep in place.” I said.

“Now, sugarcubes, may ah remind y’all that this is not your decision?” AppleJack asked.

“I thought this was a team effort? You said so yourself!” I said.

“Ah didn’t say that, but you’re right, this is a team effort, but this is Granny Smith’s kitchen, and none of y’all know her like ah do.” AppleJack said.

“Just because we known her for a couple of weeks doesn’t mean we know nutin’ about her.” Engie said.

“Look, ah appreciate yer suggestions, but ah know what Granny Smith likes best, alright?” AppleJack asked.

“For Wizard of Hope’s sake, AppleJack; you’re really setting a good friendship example for me.” I said sarcastically.

“Was that sarcasm?” Engie asked.

“How should I know? I know as much about sarcasm as I know about what porter potties are made of.” I said.

“They’re made of plastic.” Engie said.

“Really now? It would appear that my sister owes me money; she said they’re made of British Police Boxes.” I said.

“And how old is your sister?” Crystal asked.

“It’s not polite to ask a mare her age, sista.” I corrected her.

“It’s only not polite if stallions ask it, Flare.” Crystal corrected me.

“I don’t think it works that way.” I said.

“Will y’all stay focused already?” AppleJack asked. “Now if ah know Granny Smith well, ah know she likes red microwaves.”

“Seriously, sista? Like seriously actually? What are the odds of finding a red microwave around here?” I asked.

“You mean like the one right in front of you?” Apple Bloom asked.

I looked in front of me and saw a red microwave on the shelf. “That microwave looks like it’s bleeding all over. Really, it’s not natural for a microwave to be red.”

“But it’s natural for a pony to be red?” Crystal asked.

“HEY!” Big Mac and I yelled at the same time.

“Oooo we jinxed it! Bro hoof!” I said to Big Mac, holding out my hoof so he can bump it.

“Nnnnope.” He said, declining my bro-hoof.

“Aww, you’re no fun.” I complained to him.

“Now a stove, what kind of stove would Granny Smith like?” Apple Bloom asked observing the stoves.

“Definitely not the gas stoves.” Engie said.

“Ah disagree, Engie; Granny Smith always cooked with a gas stove.” AppleJack said.

“Yeah, but they look dangerous.” Engie said.

“They’re not dangerous, they’re cool! The fire is blue; how can a fire be blue? Oh right, because you bought a gas stove. Let’s buy it!” Crystal suggested.

“Alright, so we got our microwave, our stove, our fridge, now for the cabinets.” AppleJack said.

“Get wooden cabinets, AJ; it looks like you need some wood.” I said.

“Yeah, alright, ah could go for some wood.” AppleJack nodded. Just as she said that, the three of us started laughing. “Wh-what’s so funny? I just said ah wanted some wood.” We all laughed even harder, and AppleJack and Apple Bloom were getting more and more confused. “Stop laughin’! Why do ya have to make it so hard?” After that, we laughed so hard it felt like our ribs are about to burst out of our bodies.

“Why are they laughin’? Ah don’t get it.” Apple Bloom said.

“They’re just bein’ immature, Apple Bloom. Why don’t you and Big Mac go look at some small appliances like blenders and toasters, and give me a holler when ya find somethin’?” AppleJack suggested.

“Umm…. alright.” Apple Bloom said as her and Big Mac awkwardly walked off to the smaller appliances.

“Ah hope you three are havin’ fun embarassin’ me and mah family.” AppleJack said.

“I know, I know, we shouldn’t make those jokes in public.” I said.

“Us? AppleJack was the one who made those jokes in the first place; we were just laughin’, and we can’t control that.” Engie corrected us.

“Yeah that’s true, very true. You embarrassed us, AppleJack!” I said.

“Ah’m really startin’ to lose mah patience right now.” AppleJack said.

“I didn’t know you were a doctor.” Crystal said.

“Alright, alright, we made our point, I think we’re taking things a little too far. We’re sorry, AppleJack. Fun is fun, but this is serious, like seriously actually. We’re here to give Granny Smith the best kitchen she ever had! Now if she won’t be impressed with the kitchen we have in store for her, I dunno what will.” I said.

“So ya still want the wooden counters?” AppleJack asked.

“I recommend marble actually, if you didn’t lose them. LAWL!” I teased as the three of us started laughing again.

“Lose marbles, ah get it, ha ha.” AppleJack said sarcastically. So after an awkward day at the hardware store, we got what we needed and returned to the Apple barn to get to work on the kitchen.

“Hey, Flare, ah was wonderin’; why do mares like you so much?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Why you ask?” I asked.

“Big Mac’s been getting himself a mare for ages.” Apple Bloom said.

“I normally use Axe shampoo. It actually works! It worked on Lyra, Bon Bon, and Fluttershy." I said.

"Well then, let’s get to work.” AppleJack said.

"Wait, right now?" I asked.

"Yes, right now!" AppleJack said.

"But I had plans with Spike later." I complained.

“Well ah guess yer goin’ to have to reschedule then.” AppleJack said.

“You think rescheduling is easy work? I’ll be completely off track!” I said.

“You’re really beginn’ to sound like Twilight, Flare.” AppleJack said.

"Besides! Working on the kitchen could be fun! Maybe ah can finally get mah cutie mark!" Apple Bloom said excitedly.

"You have your flank tattoo already; your destiny is to go fishing for ugly looking alien fish that want to blow up space stations and yell 'IT'S A TRAP', remember?" I teased.

“Well, safety first before we begin. Ah got some construction outfits we can use.” Engie places a sack full of construction outfits in the middle of the floor, and everypony grabs a vest and helmet; even Engie, who places a helmet right on the helmet he was already wearing, and even though he’s wearing two helmets now, it still looks like he’s wearing one.

So we got started on remodeling the kitchen. We all started off by removing the old appliances from the kitchen. AppleJack and Big Mac removed the oven, and I was trying to move the fridge, but it was too heavy, but AppleJack walks over to me, and gives me a funny look. “Oh I’m sorry, you wanted to move this?” I asked. AppleJack then points to my horn. “What about it? OH, my magic! Alright, stand back!” I activated my hornsaber spell and I started slicing the fridge in two, and another two, and another two, and another two until I had a bunch of fridge confetti! “There we go, now it’s easier to carry, thanks AppleJack!”

“Uhh, no problem.” AppleJack said awkwardly. I know she was talking about my levitation spell, but where’s the fun in that? I got hornsaber so I’m gonna use it!

Engie started removing the kitchen sink pipes and Apple Bloom was playing with the light switch; the light fixture hanging on the ceiling falls on Engie’s tail. Engie gives out a scream of fright, and then glares at Apple Bloom as she blushes in embarrassment. Big Mac started bucking the leftover counters into thousands of pieces; Crystal wanted to try it out, but when she did, she gets a splinter on one of her hind hooves which makes her teary eyed.

Later on, we were all done removing everything in the kitchen, so I looked at the time on my phone, and showed AppleJack the time with an embarrassing smile (I had the embarrassing smile, not the clock), then I attempt to run out the door, but AppleJack bites and my tail and pulls me back and she shakes her head no and points to the kitchen, and then she gives us some paint. Hey you know something? AppleJack really likes to bite tails, doesn’t she? Seriously, look at the past episodes, and you’ll see what I mean.

So we all started to paint the walls. Apple Bloom painted a little mustache on her fake cutie mark of Admiral Ackbar which happens to still be there, and then she tapped me on the leg and showed me it. We both chuckled at it, and I wanted to show Engie and Crystal it too, so I tapped on them so they can take a look at it, and they chuckled along, and then Big Mac joined with us, but AppleJack had to spoil the fun by walking up to us, giving us an ugly look, and tapping her front left hoof on the floor. We all gave her some embarrassing smile and let out little squees, and we started painting again. Big Mac was painting a couple of flowers on the wall, Crystal was drawing skateboards, Engie and Apple Bloom were painting the wall red, and as for me, I had some blue paint with me, but I didn’t want to get my blue vest stained, so I didn’t bother painting.

After we were done painting, we let it dry, and as we waited, we had our lunch break, so Engie treated us to lunch at the café. Their daisy sandwiches over there are dry though. Do they bother putting mayo in it? So I just got the hay fries with the ranch dressing on the side. Really, try fries and dunk it in ranch dressing, you’ll love it! Restaurant brand ranch tastes a lot better than store brand, wouldn’t you agree? Anyways, I’m getting off topic. We returned to Sweet Apple Acres to continue on the kitchen. We were trying to agree on if we should use teak wood cabinets, or dark wood? I prefer dark wood; why? It matches the walls, plus dark things look cooler, Apple Bloom and I agreed on that.

And so finally, we placed the appliances in. The sink even comes with a garbage disposal, which I don’t know why we bother getting; the dishwasher can wash the dishes instead of the sink. After that, we placed the new light fixture on the ceiling, which was a light shaped like a bowl that’s upside down with a dot right on the bottom; you know the lights I’m talking about? So then finally we placed the furniture inside, and we were all done!

"Wow! By the Wizards, look how beautiful this kitchen is!" I said impressively.

"Wooooow! I have seen the future of kitchens.” Apple Bloom said.

"Eeeyup!” Big Mac agreed.

“I like the little gold handles on the dark wood cabinets; it makes this place look like a home for ponies with style!” Crystal said as she waved her mane back.

“So what do ya think, AppleJack? Didn’t we do great, or didn’t we do great? Ah think both if ya ask me.” Engie said.

"Ah dunno, y’all; somethin’ isn't quite right here." AppleJack said with her hoof on her chin.

"Oh, right! I almost forgot!" I ran over to the wall and straightened the family portrait, ‘cause it was crooked. "There we go! Happy face now, Jackie?"

"It's not that. Ah think we went a little too far." AppleJack thought.

"What do ya mean? This kitchen is perfect!" Apple Bloom said as she started spinning around, looking at her flank. “Did ah get a cutie mark yet? Ah think ah see a cutie mark!”

“That’s still Admiral Ackbar, sista.” I reminded her.

“Well ah gotta wash this paint off so ah’ll know for sure.” Apple Bloom said as she ran upstairs to the bathroom to wash the paint off.

“Why wouldn’t you like it, AppleJack? It’s every mares dream to remodel a kitchen. That’s why I’m gonna go remodel mine; make it look like a wild western saloon.” Crystal said.

"Ah know, and ah like it, but.... it just looks.... a little too fancy, don't ya think?" AppleJack asked.

"Oh c'mon; it only costed us seventeen thousand bits! No big deal!" I said.

"WHAT?!" AppleJack yelled. "Where did ya find that kind of money?"

"Oh, it was alot. So I went to the bank and got a loan for ten thousand bits!" I said.

AppleJack was in shock. "YOU WHAT?!"

"Don't worry! My business is a success! We'll be getting that much money again by the end of the month!" I said with a smile.

"What the hay are we gonna do until then?! WE'RE BROKE!" AppleJack yelled.

"No we're not!" I said. "We can get an extra loan from the bank, and...."

"NO!" AppleJack yelled. "No more loans! We have to get money and fast! We'll lose Sweet Apple Acres for sure! Maybe even your business!"

"We're.... broke?" Apple Bloom asked worryingly from the top of the stairs with her flank all bubbly with soap. Big Mac then screamed like a little girl and fainted.

"Do you realized what you just done, sugar cube?!" AppleJack yelled.

"Look, you cowmares wanted the fancy kitchen. You said that, remember?" I asked.

AppleJack facehoofed herself; "Look, ah know we said that, but the truth is...."

"Lawl remember, Jack?" I teased.

"Flare!” AppleJack yelled.

“Hey don’t blame me; it was Engie’s idea!” I yelled.

“Hey ah wouldn’ve gotten that idea if Crystal didn’t talk about bank robberies before!” Engie yelled.

A cutaway shows Engie and Crystal at our lunch break from earlier. “Ya know what really bothers me, Crystal? The emergency alert system.” Engie said. “Ah was workin’ on a new type of sentry for the engineer achievement update, and ah had the TV on then, and the test of the emergency alert system just got me goin’. Why do certain tests let ya know that it’s a test until the end of it? Ah had a hard time tryin’ to re-oil three of mah emergency shutters just to open them again for no apparent reason. What do you think about that, partner?”

“I once saw a pink ski-mask at Sears.” Crystal said.

“Wow, Crystal, ya just gave me an idea.” Engie said.

“I’ll go home and get my Sears card, maybe my Kmart card since they’re both runned by the same company.” Crystal said.

“Ah’m still upset about that.” Engie said.

“Hey, the main reason Kmart bought out Sears was because Kmart’s gonna go out of business soon. Lots of their stores are closing.” Crystal said.

“Yeah, ah’m gonna miss that store, but Walmart’s takin’ over. Pretty much Walmart’s only worthy opponent right now is Target.” Engie said.

”Yeah….. so how about them bank robberies?” Crystal asked. The cutaway ends.

“Look AppleJack, you don’t need to dis us after all the help we’ve given you.” I said.

“Yeah, look how much we did to get ya this kitchen!” Engie pointed out. “So why don’t ya appreciate our work?”

“It’s not that ah don’t appreciate your work, ah’m happy for it, but y’all just keep makin’ scenes, and takin’ money out of our accounts and puttin’ the Apple family in debt!” AppleJack yelled.

"Say whaaaaaaaaaat?" Crystal cried.

“Not to mention, ah keep sayin’ that this kitchen would be too much for Granny Smith! Ah know her, and she won’t think this kitchen is natural.” AppleJack yelled.

“But, AppleJaaaaaaaaaaaack!” Crystal whined.

"Look, ah’m sorry, sugarcubes; ah still like ya and all, but..... yer just.... makin’..... things worse." AppleJack confessed to us.

“Just to make things clear, what makes ya think we made YOUR family in debt?” Engie asked.

“I…. I thought we were usin’ our budget?” AppleJack asked.

“Why would we use your budget? It’s us that’s in debt right now, not you. We made bank loans out of our accounts.” I said.

“Wait…. what?” AppleJack asked.

“Yeah ‘what’ indeed; why did ya think we’d steal from the Apple family?” Engie asked.

“And making scenes over at the hardware store and everything, I thought you were helping us in learning about friendship?” I asked.

“Well, technically it was just you.” Crystal corrected me.

“Regardless.” I said.

“Look, we can take a hint; AppleJack doesn’t want our help, which is just fine by me.” Engie said.

“Yeah, I mean we offered our help, you asked for our opinions, and you went through with it. Why do you think Granny Smith won’t like this, but we made it anyway?” Crystal asked.

“Ah didn’t want to upset Big Mac an’ Apple Bloom. They liked this kitchen, but ah dunno if Granny Smith would.” AppleJack said.

“Cowmare, I must admit, we don’t think before we do, the three of us.” I confessed.

“Whoa, whoa, why ya talkin’ for all of us?” Engie complained to me.

“Yes, we’re not perfect, we’re not experts at everything, and I would’ve thought helping you was a friendship lesson we’d learn. If you didn’t think we’d be help, why bother offering us to help in the first place?” I asked.

“Ah didn’t know.” AppleJack said.

“YOU DIDN’T KNOW!” I repeated.

“Look, ah don’t want you to feel bad or nothin’.” AppleJack said.

“You didn’t make us feel bad.” Crystal said.

“Nope, it was us. We ruined your kitchen. It's our fault. We’re baaaaaaaaaad friends." I said sadly. Heh, the way I said 'baaaaaad' was in a sheep tone for a second there.

“Flare, Crystal, Engie, don’t be like that.” AppleJack begged.

“How about instead of all this drama, wanna see my awesome moves?” Crystal asked.

“Yeah, ah think that’ll help.” Engie said.

“Don’t worry, AppleJack. I say today a success. We finished your kitchen, and you’ll be able to make tons of baked goods for that bake sell to help out Dodge Junction.” I said, trying to look through the positive side of things. "You're a good pony, AppleJack for thinking of others before yourself, and that's pretty much a good lesson for you to give us, despite all that we went through today." After I explained what I had no idea what I was talking about, Crystal, Engie, and I left the farm.

As we left Sweet Apple Acres, Engie informed us, “Ya know what’s funny about the name Dodge Junction? It kinda sounds like a name for a car, or an SUV better yet.” AppleJack then started to feel bad, which I don’t know why because we said it was ok. If this were Rarity feeling bad about our financial problems, then this would all make sense, but this AppleJack: honesty. Did I get it right this time? AppleJack’s honesty, correct?

So, the next day came, AppleJack and Big Mac were working extra hard on the farm, but as they were doing so, a taxi carriage arrives on the farm with Granny Smith in the back.

"Howdy, Apples!" Granny Smith greeted them as she returned from her kitchen.

"Granny Smith! How was yer vacation?" AppleJack asked.

"Fine, it was great!” Granny Smith said excitedly. “It’s been awhile since ah seen Auntie Applesauce and Apple Rose. It was a relaxin’ trip, but ah sure did miss this ol apple air back on the farm.”

“So, Granny Smith? You ready to see your new kitchen?” Apple Bloom asked excitedly.

”Oh, ah got a new kitchen?” Granny Smith asked.

“Yeah, remember the old one got destroyed from the fire?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Oh, the fire.” Granny Smith chuckled. “Ah almost forgot ‘bout that. This vacation was so relaxin’ that ah keep forgettin’ what color coat ah am!” she takes a good look at her lime-green coat and nods. “Eeyup; nice and gray, just as ah remember. So how about ya show me the new kitchen?”

“Oh it’s amazin’! You’ll love it, ah’m sure of it! Right, Big Mac?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Eeyup.” Big Mac nodded.

Granny Smith and her family walked inside the barn to take a look at her new kitchen, and Granny Smith gasps. "Who's idea was this?” she asked in an angry tone. “HUH?!"

"Oh snap!" Crystal said surprisingly.

AppleJack became silent, but she couldn't lie, she’s the Element of Honesty… right? Am I still correct? Although, even though she is the Element of Honesty, she would forget about all that for the well-being of her friends. “It was me, Granny. I’m sorry ya don’t like it. Ah really tried mah best.”

"Well, steal mah eggs and call me an angry bird! This is the greatest I’ve ever seen since I volunteered for the Price is Right!” Granny Smith said in a happy tone.

A cutaway shows Granny Smith, along with three other contestants on the Price is Right. Bob Barker (whom in Equestria is a dog) asks the contestants, “Ok, contestants give us the closest guess to how much this universal style kitchen costs. Noteworthy, we’ll start with you.”

“I say it costs about 13,400 bits.” Noteworthy said.

“Interesting choice! Cherry Berry, how about you?” Bob asked as he scratches his ear with his foot.

“How much was the last one?” Cherry Berry asked.

“13,400 bits.” Bob said.

“13,401 bits.” Cherry said.

“You jerk.” Noteworthy said angrily at Cherry.

“Alright, Granny Smith, how about you?” Bob asked.

“Umm, what are we givin’ the price for again?” Granny Smith asked.

“For this fancy kitchen.” Bob said.

“5 bits.” Granny Smith said.

“Umm… ok.” Bob said. “And the closest price for this kitchen was…” Granny Smith’s number choice on her podium started blinking and the Price is Right theme song started playing in the background. “5 bits! Granny Smith gets to choose her prize!” Bob yelled out.

“Ah’d scream, but ah always get irritated on the ponies screammin’ in excitement on this show.” Granny Smith said.

“Yeah, you and me both, sister, that’s why I’m planning on retiring soon.” Bob said. “Ok, now let’s see what you’ve won!”

“It’s a new car!” the announcer in the background yells out, revealing a new carriage behind a curtain.

“As ah expected. Ah’ve watched this show for years, and it’s always a new car.” Granny Smith complained.

“Yeah, I’m getting a bit tired of it too, but the announcer requested it because he really likes screaming it out.” Bob admited. The cutaway ends.

“So ya really like the kitchen?” AppleJack asked.

“Darn tootin!” Granny Smith said in excitement. “Ah’ve always wanted to have a change of scenery. You did a good job, AppleJack! First pie ah make is all yours!”

“Heh, thanks, Granny Smith!” AppleJack said. Even though she’s trying to feel happy because Granny Smith loves her new kitchen, she started to feel really bad on what she said to us, and also taking all the credit for it. AppleJack new exactly what to do to fix this problem she’s having, so she walks over to my shop to tell me how she feels. I was inside my office talking to Spike.

“You know what’s been bothering me my entire life? Sometimes when I get a stuffy nose, one nostril is all clogged up, but the other one is just fine.” Spike said.

“I know how that feels. It feels weird that every time I place my hoof near my nose to feel the air coming out, I can only feel one side.” I said; I then heard a knock on the door and I yelled, “Come in!”

AppleJack opens the door and walks inside my office. “Howdy, Flare! Ya busy?”

“Not at the moment. Come in!” I offered.

“Thanks.” AppleJack said as she takes a seat on one of the bean bag chairs in front of my desk.

“Did I say sit down? I just said come in.” I corrected her.

“Oh… sorry.” AppleJack said as she tried to stand up, but I stopped her.

“JK, AJ.” I chuckled. “What do you need?”

“Flare, ah wanted to apologize to you, Crystal, and Engie on what ah said yesterday.” AppleJack said.

“You WANTED to apologize?” I asked. “So if you’re not here to apologize, what are you here for?”

“Yeah, if she’s apologizing, it’s not the good time to joke.” Spike informed me.

“Sorry.” I said. “What are you apologizing for?”

“For what ah said yesterday of sayin’ y’all ain’t helpin’ out, and are just makin’ things worse.” AppleJack said.

“You don’t need to apologize, cowmare. I already said it was cool.” I said.

“But ah feel so bad. Ah thought Granny Smith wouldn’t like the kitchen, and it looked like she got angry, so ah wanted to take the blame for ya, but then she said she liked it; after that, ah started to feel really bad for lyin’ to her, takin’ all the credit, so ah rushed here to apologize.” AppleJack explained.

“Yeah, you’ll get that a lot. When somepony looks like their angry, they’re actually happy. Ponies like to fool around, sista.” I said.

“Ah know; Rarity did that once.” AppleJack said.

“Well, for being the Element of Loyalty, I expect that from you, AJ. Thank you.” I said happily.

“Dude, she’s the Element of Honesty!” Spike corrected me.

“Yeah, I knew that, I knew that along! I was just testing you, brah.” I teased him, but then I stopped and realized something. “Wait, time out for a second.”

“How many minutes?” Crystal asked as she and Engie walked inside my office.

“What’s goin’ on here?” Engie asked.

“AppleJack, you’re the Element of Honesty, but you lied to Granny Smith, so we wouldn’t take the blame if she didn’t like the kitchen?” I asked.

“Wait, what?” Engie asked.

“Well, ah… ah guess ah did.” AppleJack said.

“I… I don’t believe this.” I said shockingly. I mean, I didn't say the word shockingly, but… you know what I mean.

“AppleJack lied to Granny Smith for us?” Crystal asked.

“Ah know it sounds hard to believe, but y’all tried yer hardest to help out, and ah didn’t want y’all to get blamed for somethin’ ya didn’t mean.” AppleJack said.

“AppleJack, what you did today makes me loathe the ones who call you a background pony!” I said.

“A what?” AppleJack asked.

“We only known eachother for a small time, and you’d take the fall for us.” Engie said.

“You are the most dependable pony in all of Equestria.” Crystal said.

“R-really?” AppleJack asked.

“If only I knew what the word ‘dependable’ means.” Crystal said.

“But regardless, you know what’s right. You’re selfless, and most loving to the ones you care about. You have really taught me a valuable about friendship today, cowmare.” I said.

“Gosh, well… thank you.” AppleJack smiled.

“No problemo, sista. Just for that, I’m treating you to the best apple crisp pizza you’ve ever had.” I offered.

“C’mon, you don’t have to.” AppleJack said.

“I don’t have to, but I want to.” I said.

“How ‘bout ah just treat y’all to the best apple pie in all of Equestria?” AppleJack offered.

“FREE PIE?!” Crystal yelled in excitement.

“You seem to be giving more than you’re getting, sista, but still… FREE PIE!” I yelled excitedly. We all cheered and rushed on over to Sweet Apple Acres to have some of Granny Smith’s pie. We all gathered around the table of the new kitchen, and waited for Granny Smith to finish the apple pie.

“Alright, epic pie time!” Crystal said.

“Ah’m sure glad Granny Smith loves her new kitchen. You will sure have the money ya need for Dodge Junction in no time!” Engie said.

“And I’ll help!” I said.

“Whoa, Flare, ya don’t want to make things worse, do ya?” AppleJack asked.

“I take that you’re joking, and it was an expecting joke, and it was very insulting. Don’t do it again.” I said.

“Oh… ah’m sorry, Flare.” AppleJack said sadly.

“JK lawl! You’re so gullible, AppleJack!” I laughed.

AppleJack laughed along. “Ah guess ah am.”

“Man, I’m starving! What’s taking that pie so long?” Crystal asked. “Hey, Granny?! What’s taking that pie so long?!”

“It’ll be done in a little while, dear! Now which of these nobs turns on the oven?” Granny Smith asked..

“Granny, you’re usin’ the microwave.” AppleJack said.

“Oh… also ah tried to use that plug on the icebox to power up this blender, but it isn’t workin’. Ya know how to use it, AppleJack?” Granny Smith asked as the blender was actually plugged into the ice dispenser on the fridge.

“Granny why is there scrape marks on the stove?” Crystal asked.

“Well, ah couldn’t find the gas burner; this stove doesn’t have any. All ah can see is four circles drawn on the top, but when ah used the knobs, it started glowin’, so I’m still tryin’ to open the cover that’s keepin’ the dust from gettin’ into the stove.” Granny Smith explained.

“Granny, what is this?” I asked, holding an automatic can opener to test her knowledge on this kitchen.

“My golly that is the strangest lookin’ spoon ah’ve ever seen.” Granny Smith said.

“Yeah, this kitchen isn’t really workin’ for her.” AppleJack said.

“Well then, who’s up for another kitchen remodeling?” I asked.

“Yeah I’m up for that.” Crystal said.

“Oh this will sure get me my cutie mark!” Apple Bloom said excitedly.

“Eeeyup!” Big Mac agreed.

Author's Note

This is the remake of the original Apple Kitchen Deluxe chapter. Not much has changed, but I made AppleJack more in character, Big Mac talks less, some content has changed, and I added Crystal and Engineer. I also made AppleJack a hero in here because AppleJack is truly an inspiring character in the MLP universe, which makes me quite disappointed to see alot of bronies calling AppleJack a background pony. Seriously, we can all learn a thing or two from AppleJack; she's very dependable, selfless, and this is the position some of you give her? How shameful. But still, love and tolerance, you're entitled to your own opinion.

Brownie Madness

You know what I’ve been thinking about lately? The fact that pegasi have their own city only accessible to them but unicorns and earth ponies don’t. What’s up with that? Anyways, I’ll get back to that story in chapter 11; let us continue.

Two days have passed since I went to help out AppleJack with her kitchen, and AppleJack isn’t the only one doing a bake sale for the Dodge Junction project; the Cakes over at Sugarcube Corner were too helping to gain money for the project. While the Cakes were getting stuff ready outside, Pinkie Pie was cooking up some delicious brownies from a special recipe the Cakes gave her. She takes out the brownies from the oven and gives them a nice big sniff.

"Mmmmm! Delicious! I want to try one!" she said to herself as she was about to take a brownie.

Mrs. Cake slaps Pinkie's hoof away and said; "Ah ah ah! No touchie, dear! These are for the Bake Sale!”

“Indeed, Pinkie. Dodge Junction is in need of our assistance to rebuild. They’re really relying on us for this bake sale.” Mr. Cake said.

Pinkie squeed and said, “Sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Cake, my tummy is just making that rumbly sound and it craves brownies.”

“Rawr! Rawr! Gimmie brownies! I crave brownies! Nom nom!” Pinkie’s stomach said. The Cakes were confused to how her stomach sound talked without her mouth moving, and unless she was a really good puppeteer like the guy from the really old Nestlé’s Quik commercials, or Pinkie was just being herself again.

"This bake sale is going to be splendid!” Mrs. Cake said excitedly. "The customers are going to be lining up for our new brownies!"

"And with our new secret ingredient, nothing can stop us!" Mr. Cake added.

"What is the secret ingredient?" Pinkie asked.

"It’s a secret, Pinkie.” Mr. Cake said.

“Ooooo the secret ingredient is a secret, huh? I didn’t know secret was edible.” Pinkie said.

"It's almost time to open!" Mrs. Cake said as her and her husband picks up some trays of brownies and walks outside to start the sale. "Everypony is going to love our brownies!"

"C'mon honey, let’s make ponies happy.” Mr. Cake said as he led the way out the door.

"Pinkie dear?" Mrs. Cakes called Pinkie as Pinkie stood on her back hooves, saluting.

"Yes ma'am, Mrs. Cake ma'am!" Pinkie shouted.

"We're going to bring some of these brownies outside. Can you look after everything until we get back?" Mrs. Cakes asked politely.

"You can count on me, Mrs. Cakes! Your favorite employee Pinkie Pie has it all under control!" Pinkie said, still saluting.

"Thank you dear, and make sure you don't eat anything." Mrs. Cake said.

“Yes, sergeant Cup Cake, ma’am!” Pinkie yelled.

“At ease.” Mrs. Cake said as Pinkie tilts over towards her front and falls face first to the ground, and as she falls to the floor, the impact of her fall makes it sound like she’s made of plastic. Just then, another Pinkie Pie peeks out from below the table in the middle of the room; she pops out, pushes the plastic dummy of her out of the way, and starts guarding the leftover brownies.

Pinkie Pie guarded the all the sweets for 10 minutes. She marches back and fourth, making sure nothing happens to the baked goods. She looks closely at the brownies, and says with her eyes zoomed towards the brownies; "I have my eye on you!” She walks back then pointed to her eyes to the brownies again, and then walks back and forth again, looking at every corner, making sure nopony pops out and ambushes her.

Pinkie Pie then hears a noise coming from the kitchen, and she hops behind one of the plants in the room; she hid there so well that none of her body has shown from either side. Pinkie then tip-hooves to the kitchen, hides under the table, behind chairs and more plants, and eventually sneaks into the kitchen. Then she bursts out yelling, "FREEZE!" and aims her cake frosting squeezer at what she thought was a trespasser, but there was nopony in the kitchen. "Hm?" she said to herself. "I could've sworn that there was...." Pinkie Pie paused and then screamed; "THE BROWNIES!"

Pinkie runs into the main room and yells, "AH HA!" and then she shoots her frosting at the door thinking somepony was there, but nopony was around. Pinkie Pie continues guarding the brownies, aiming her cake frosting wherever she can find a trespasser. Whenever she hears the slightest noise, like a squeak on the floor, or a furniture item moving, she squirts cake frosting on it. The room's a mess now, but the brownies are still unfrosted. "Hm. I guess I'm just over-reacting." Pinkie said to herself and giggled. "Nopony's going to come in here and steal the brownies..."

Rainbow Dash then pops out of nowhere and jumps on Pinkie, holding her down. "NOW SPIKE!" she yelled. Spike pops out and starts running to the brownies as he was about to grab one; Pinkie throws Rainbow Dash outta the way and jumps on him, holding him down. While Pinkie was holding Spike down, Rainbow takes Pinkie's frosting squeezer and aims it at Pinkie. "You're finished!" Rainbow said to her with an evil smile.

Pinkie gets nervous and starts shaking, but then Pinkie smiles at Rainbow and Rainbow gets confused, but out of nowhere, Pinkie takes out two smaller frosting guns and starts shooting Rainbow with them, and the only thing Rainbow has right now was a face full of frosting. "NO! ALL THE SUGAR! IT BURNS!" she yelled as she falls knocked-out on the floor.

"Victory is mine!" Pinkie cried, but out of the flash, one of Pinkie's guns gets knocked out of her hoof after water got squirted on it by something. "What the hay?!" she yelled to herself. She looks at the door and gasps. "YOU!" she smirked and said, glaring at the a pony with a ninja outfit at the door. The ninja takes off his mask and it's revealed to be none other than me!

"Mischievous face!" I said. "ALL YOUR BROWNIES ARE BELONG TO US!"

"You want the brownies? You'll have to go through me first!" Pinkie said, locking and loading.

Pinkie and I started glaring at each other, eye to eye, and the screen crops out to our eyes like in those ninja or western movies, and we were getting ready to fight. Pinkie Pie takes out her red frosting squeezer and aims it right at me. "Ooooh! A red squeezer! You're good, but are you good enough to defeat the awesome and leet power of the one and only Flare Gun?" I taunted.

"What? With this red frosting? No, no way, Flare." Pinkie said.

“Oh yeah? Then how do you propose to defeat me then?” I asked.

"Because I also have blue!" Pinkie Pie takes out a blue frosting squeezer and aims it right at me.

"Time for Super Smash Ponies Brawl!" I yelled as the two of us gotten into our fighting poses and were about to fight.

Spike took out his microphone and yelled; "3-2-1 FIGHT!"

Pinkie squeezes out frosting from her frosting squeezers and the frosting comes flying towards me, so I jumped behind a table, and knocked it over so I can keep cover from the frosting. Since I don’t have a frosting gun, I got magic, I used my water squirter spell to squirt water towards Pinkie. Pinkie hops behind the counter, and takes cover behind it. Pinkie keeps squirting frosting at me while dodging my water; I did the same thing, but with my own weapon. Both of us were clean still, so we were still neck ‘n neck. Pinkie jumps out in the open with her guns aimed right at me, and then I squirted the guns out right out of her hooves.

"Hey no fair!" Pinkie whined. "Your weapon is stuck onto your head!”

"Who said life was fair? Welcome to Ponyville, sister!” I taunted. “Lawl, lawl, lawl, lawl, lawl, lawl, lawl, lawl, lawl, lawl, and one more lawl for good measures. Now, Pinkie Pie, prepare to be eliminated!”

“Alright, just gimmie a second.” Pinkie requested as she takes out a bathing hat, and places it on her head.

“Good idea, her hair is always straight when it’s wet, and Pinkie with straight hair always scares me.” Spike said.

“Ha! I ain’t scared of it!” Rainbow said.

“Says the pony who cried after she read Cupcakes.” Spike reminded her.

“I wasn’t scared; I felt incredibly insulted!” Rainbow corrected him. “I mean yeah, Pinkie was crazy one time, but she’d never turn do anything like turn your friends into cupcakes!”

“Want a rainbow cupcake, Dashie?” Spike teased her, holding a cupcake at her face.

Rainbow panicked and smacked the cupcake out his claw. “DON’T DO THAT!” Rainbow yelled.

“Don’t be insulted, Dashie!” Pinkie comforted her. “It’s only a story, remember?”

“Lawl remember, Dashie?” I added.

“Right, right…. Yeah.” Rainbow nodded.

“Anyways, enough of all that. FINISH HER!” I yelled as I aimed more horn towards Pinkie to finish the fight. I was just about to squirt Pinkie with my water squirter, but then only a few drops of water dripped out of my horn. "SHOOT! Out of ammo!"

Pinkie then takes one of her frosting guns that were knocked out of her hoof, and she squirted me in the horn, and my horn was full of frosting. “Now step aside, Flare Gun, for I have won this battle!” Pinkie said.

“Tis but a scratch.” I said.

“A scratch? I covered your whole horn with frosting, so you can’t use it anymore in this game.” Pinkie said.

“No you didn’t.” I said.

“Then what’s that?” Pinkie pointed to my horn.

I looked up at my horn and said, “I had worse.”

“Liar!” Pinkie said.

“Nope.” I said.

“Liar, liar, fire on pants!” Pinkie said.

“Don’t be ridiculous, I ain’t wearing pants.” I said.

“Still think you’re able to fight?” Pinkie asked. I shouted a cry of berserk and I grabbed Rainbow’s frosting gun and started firing at Pinkie, but missing every time, and Pinkie fired back until both of my hooves were covered in frosting.

“Victory is mine!” Pinkie cried. “Once again, haaaaaa haaaaaa, Pinkie Pie, haaaaa haaaaaa, the undefeated champion, haaaa haaaaaa, ha ha haaaaaa!” But as Pinkie was thinking she was in a wrestling stadium, I stood up on my hind hooves and started kicking her, and she knocked over to the ground.

“Come at me, jack!” I yelled as I continued to kick her.

“You are indeed brave, sir knight, but the fight is mine.” Pinkie said.

“No it isn’t!” I said.

“You can’t use your horn or hooves anymore though.” Pinkie said.

“It’s only a flesh wound.” I said.

“Good point.” Pinkie nodded as she shot both my legs with frosting and I fell on the ground.

“Alright, we’ll call it a draw.” I said.

“Fair enough.” Pinkie shrugged. “Come, Dashie.” Rainbow Dash clopped her hooves together as it looked like Pinkie was riding a steed away from the battle.

“Oh I see, running away, eh? You pink monster! Come back here and get what’s coming to ya! I’ll bite you’ll legs off! I still got my teeth!” I yelled.

"YAY! I WIN, I WIN, I WIN!" Pinkie cried, dancing and hoping around the building.

I got up from the ground and said, "Great job, Pinks! You're pretty good at this game! You surely know how to guard your brownies!”

"Yeah! The way you squirted Flare and how he fell over was AWESOME!" Rainbow said.

"Thanks! Since I was bored while I was guarding the brownies, I really needed something to do, so I called you guys, and we played this game! IT WAS REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY FUN!" Pinkie said as she jumping up and down again.

"Alright Pinkie, you don't need to repeat yourself, we all know what we did." Rainbow Dash said with a smile as she placed her hoof on Pinkie's shoulder.

Mrs. Cake and Mr. Cake were walking back inside to get some more brownies, and once they came in, they gasped after they saw the mess. "What happened here?" Mrs. Cake asked.

"Oh yeah, there’s a mess in here.” I observed the room and said. “I didn’t even notice.”

"We know that. But why?" Mr. Cake asked.

"Sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Cake. I was so bored in guarding the brownies that I wanted to guard them while in action..... and fun!" Pinkie said with a smile.

"You guys should've been here! It was an EPIC battle!" Spike said.

"Well in that case, you four are not having any brownies until you clean this place up!" Mrs. Cake gave each of us some cleaning supplies to clean up the mess.

"Oh c'mon! I just got out of Twilight's house to avoid doing chores, and I just come over here to do some anyway?” Spike complained.

"Looks like you're going to be doing double-chores by the time this day is over." Rainbow Dash teased Spike and laughed.

"We're going to be having the sale, and if there's anymore, and if you do good in cleaning this mess, we'll give you some on the house." Mr. Cake promised.

“I really don’t like it when ponies say food’s on the house.” Spike said.

A cutaway shows Spike at my pizza shop, walking out of the restrooms with a toilet plunger. He walks on over to me and said, “Alright, Flare, I unclogged the toilets in the restroom for you, so where’s that pizza on the house you promised?”

“Over there.” I pointed on top of the house across the street from my shop which showed a pizza box on the gutter.

“You’re kidding, right?” Spike glared at me.

“Go ahead and get it. It’s yours.” I said.

“Why can’t you get it? You have magic. You can just levitate it off.” Spike said.

“Oooo, I would, but…..” just then, I used my magic to pick up some cleaning supplies to clean the tables in my shop. “My magic’s kinda full right now.” Spike rolls his eyes, and then he walks over across the street, and started to climb the slippery gutter to retrieve the pizza. Once he got to the roof, he opened the pizza box and made a disgusting look. “Ew! There’s ants all over it!” Spike just shrugged and ate the whole pizza in one bite, since he didn’t care for the ants. Down below I started to laugh.

“I-I can’t believe you just ate that!” I continued laughing real hard.

“You’re kidding, right?” Spike asked.

“That pizza has been up there for a week already! I have your pizza right here!” I said.

Spike started laughing along. “Jokes on you, that pizza was delicious. I don’t mind stale pizza that’s full of ants.”

“I know you don’t; that’s why I put Mountain Dew in it.” I said.

“MOUNTAIN DEW?!” Spike yelled as his mouth caught on fire. “SPICY!”

“HA! I did my homework, brah. I know Mountain Dew is spicy to dragons.” I laughed again, but just then Spike fell off the roof and landed on my head, and I passed out.

“HA! I did my homework too, dude. I know you have a sensitive head.” Spike said, but as he laughed at me, I didn’t respond to his laugh because I was knocked out. “Flare? Flare? Hellooooo? Wake up, sleepy heaaaaaaad.” This lesson to you all: if you choose gags and pranks, then gags and pranks will choose you. The cutaway ends.

After a while went by, we all pitched in at cleaning up Sugarcube Corner, and we finally got finished after a couple of hours. "There we go, good as new!" Spike said with a smile.

“I know it wasn’t hard at all!” Pinkie said as she licked the last of the frosting off the walls with her really long tongue. “Mmmm! Tastes like plaster!”

"Isn’t that unhealthy?” Rainbow asked.

“Heck if I know. I never gained weight from eating plaster. In fact, I lost 20 pounds by doing so.” Pinkie said.

“Well I dunno about you guys, but I’m ready for some brownies!” Spike said.

“Yeah, I’m with Spike with this one.” Rainbow said.

“I sure do less then three brownies, almost as much as I less then three it when Princess Luna comes into town!” I said. “I still dunno why she doesn’t come often.”

A cutaway shows Luna arriving in Ponyville in her carriage, and she steps off it and yells in her Royal Canterlot Voice, “Good citizens of Ponyville! Your princess of the night has arrived!” Just then, Luna gets whacked in the head by Granny Smith’s cane. “Ouch!” Luna yelled in her regular voice. “What was that for?”

“Back in my day, we only had one princess!” Granny Smith said as she whacked her again.

“Ow! What does Celestia have that I don’t?” Luna asked.

“Celestia doesn’t make it night time forever.” Granny Smith said.

“Oh great, not this again!” Luna said with an annoyed tone.

“Also she helped me cross the street once, such a dear she is.” Granny Smith said.

“Want me to help you across the street?” Luna asked.

“What? Ya think ah can’t take care of myself?” Granny Smith asked as she whacks Luna again and walks away.

“Senior citizens never seem to get along with me.” Luna said, rubbing her head. The cutaway ends.

“Right, now I remember.” I said.

So then, we all ran outside to get some brownies. Our mouths were really watering out of the fact the Cakes are giving us free brownies.

“Mmm, mmm! I can taste the brownies now!” Spike said.

“You can taste brownies before eating them? That’s amazing!” Pinkie said shockingly.

“I have my ways.” Spike teased.

“Holy Wizard of Strength!” I said shockingly.

“You know, I still have no idea what that means.” Spike said.

“What the hay is going on here?” I asked as I saw ponies in hazmat suits, and using tongs to take each of the brownies into a biohazardous container.

"What's going on here?" Rainbow asked.

"We had a bit of a problem with these brownies. It seems they were a bit hazardous.” A pony in a hazmat suit said.

"Surprise face! Hazardous brownies?" I asked.

"What were in those brownies?" Spike asked.

"Normal brownie ingredients, we don't understand." one of the suited ponies said.

"What happened to Mr. and Mrs. Cake?" Pinkie asked in worry.

Each of us all rushed to the Ponyville Hospital to see what the fuss is about. The hospital was filled with sick ponies, even some that couldn’t go into rooms because they were full. "Are these poisonous to dragons?" Spike asked the pony in the hazmat suit.

"Holy Wizard of Hope!" I said.

"Hey, Flare? Are you going to tell us who those Wizards are yet?" Spike asked.

"Not now, brah! We have an emergency situation here!" I said.

“Wow, this is just the time AppleJack and I accidentally made hazardous muffins.” Pinkie said.

“I don’t think they were hazardous, Pinkie.” Rainbow corrected her.

“I don’t care, they were delicious to me! Muffins with potato chips, root beer, earthworms, it was all so good to me!” Spike said.

“How did you know the ingredients?” Rainbow asked.

“I have super strong taste buds. Like remember the time you bought me a vanilla and chocolate cake for Hearts and Hooves Day?” Spike asked.

“Yeah.” Rainbow said.

“It was actually a chocolate and vanilla cake.” Spike said.

“What’s the difference?” Rainbow asked.

“That is a HUGE difference, sista!” I said. “Vanilla and chocolate cake has more vanilla than chocolate, because most cakes have three layers with frosting in between, and chocolate and vanilla cake is the exact opposite. Get your fax machine straight, Dashie!”

"Mr. and Mrs. Cake!" Pinkie Pie said as she rushes over to them.

"Oh dear, Pinkie! This is not good! We're on the verge of a lawsuit!" Mrs. Cake said in worry.

"Yes, it seems our brownies were poisoned!" Mr. Cake said.

The four of us gasped in shocked. "Poisoned?" Pinkie asked.

"It's not deadly is it?" Spike asked.

"No, it's not deadly." Mr. Cake said.

"Phew, that's good." Spike said in relief.

“Life, death, it’s all the same if you’re ginger.” I said.

"But it can cause disabilities, loss of memories, not able to walk anymore, loss of strength, loss of flying, loss of unicorn powers, and maybe even blindness." Mr. Cake explained.

“My glasses. I can’t see without my glasses!” Velma said as she walked by, trying to look for it.

“Ma’am, you’re still wearing your glasses.” Nurse Redheart corrected her.

“That’s impossible, this must be a technical error because the only time I’m blind is without my glasses.” Velma said.

"That's not good! This is totally going to ruin the town’s reputation, and a chase for me to be a Wonderbolt.” Rainbow said.

“How will that ruin your chances of being a Wonderbolt?” Spike asked.

“With most of the town sick, they’ll think I’m sick, and they don’t let sick ponies be in the Wonderbolts.” Rainbow explained.

“Jeez, Rainbow, you’re sometimes as stubborn as Veruca Salt.” I said.

A cutaway shows Veruca Salt after she fallen through the rejection door after being considered a bad egg, along with her dad that jumped in after her. “Dad, I want to get out of here.” Veruca said.

“Well you know what, Veruca? You can’t always get what you want! Just because we’re rich doesn’t mean you should be spoiled! You know what? I don’t know why I jumped in after you. It took me a moment to realize I hate you and I should’ve dumped you off at an orphanage. You know, you and that kid Charlie should switch lives. You should live in a poor home, and never get ANYTHING you want! Is that what you really want, Veruca? Is it?” the dad asked.

“N-no.” Veruca said.

“Wow, you finally don’t want something; that’s an achievement unlocked right there! If my life was an XBUCKS game, this would be an achievement worth 500G! Just be lucky you’re not Charlie, because maybe being poor would teach you a thing or two about a word you may not know: RESPECT!” Veruca’s dad explained.

“Dad?” Vercua asked.

“What?” her dad asked angrily.

She smiled and said, “You passed the test. You finally stood up to your own daughter.”

“What?” her dad asked.

“I was only being like that to teach you how to use discipline, and you know what? You did it. I never thought you had it in you.” Vercua said as she gave her dad a hug.

“Oh… wow… I guess I did.” Vercua’s dad smiled and said.

“So you’re not going to send me away?” Vercua asked.

“Of course not. You’re my daughter and I love you.” Vercua’s dad said.

“Good. I want your phone.” Vercua demanded as she pushes him away. “I want to watch videos on YouTube. My phone battery died.”

Vercua’s dad was silent for a second, and then gives her his phone. “Ok.” The cutaway ends.

"That's not the worse part though." Mr. Cake said sadly.

Spike walks over to the beds and uncovers one of them and reveals Rarity. Spike became in shock. "RARITY!" Then Spike uncovers another bed, "TWILIGHT!"

I walk over to a third bed and uncovered it. "SURPRISE FACE! MAMA FLUTTERSHY!"

And Rainbow Dash uncovers the fourth bed, and guess who that is? "APPLEJACK!?"

"Oh no! This can't be good!" Pinkie said as she started to spaz out. She runs over to the doctor and yells; "DOCTOR?! IS THERE A WAY TO CURE THIS SICKNESS?!"

"My dear child, I have no idea. None of us do." The doctor said sadly.

"I totally lost my sense of humor." I said. "I uncovered some more beds, and I found Lyra, Bon Bon, Engie, and Crystal all out-cold, and I'm not even going to joke around by saying that they're cold; I mean they're like in a deep sleep!" Then I started to giggle a bit, and then I slapped myself in the face and started having a full conversation with myself. "NO! DON'T LAWL! THIS IS NO LAUGHING MATTER! But Flare, it's funny! NO! YOUR FRIENDS ARE ALL POISONED! But Flare, it's impossible to lose your sense of humor. I SAID NO! YES! NO! YES! NO! OH YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME PAL? BRING IT ON WEAKLING!" Just then I started beating up myself. "IS THAT ALL YOU GOT?! IS THAT ALL YOU GOT?! OBI-WAN NEVER TOLD YOU WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR FATHER!"

Rainbow Dash flew over to me and grabbed my hooves away from my face to stop me from hitting himself. "That’s another friendship lesson for you. Don’t beat yourself up over things that aren't your fault.”

“What are you talking about?” I asked her.

“Wait, what are you talking about?” Rainbow asked.

“I have nooooo idea.” I said.

"We need to find a cure somehow." Pinkie said, and then she runs over to the passed out Twilight. "Twilight, talk to me; how do we find a cure?" Twilight didn't move or say anything, but she did droll a bit. “Hmmm. Yeah, that's right! Good idea, Twilight! I’ll do it!" Pinkie smiled and then she started singing to herself and hops over to the hospital exit.

"Uhh, what did you tell her, Twilight?” Rainbow asked her, but then she glared over her remark and shook her head. “Listen to me, I’m talking to a passed out Twilight.”.

"She said go to Zecora’s!" Pinkie zoomed back in the hospital and said.

"Does she understand drool language?" Spike asked.

“I know my sister does. She saw me drooling in my sleep once, and she knew I was dreaming about leopard skin furniture.” I said. “Eeyup. Leopard skin furniture.”

So the four of us all traveled into Everfree so we can meet up with this zebra named Zecora. This was my first time meeting her, so I was pretty confused with her rhyming. So we discussed to her about the hazardous brownies the Cakes were selling, and she observed them real closely to see what ingredients were inside, and knowing if she can find a cure or not.

"Hm, just as I thought. These brownies have poison. A mixture of cavaleaves, green apples, and berries of boysen." she said. "For all these mixtures to come together in something sweet, it'll give you disabilities after you eat."

"So these brownies had the mixture of cavaleaves, green apples, and boysenberry?" Rainbow asked.

"Not boysenberry, berries of boysen. There's a different between the two, one can create poison." Zecora said.

“This zebra is really starting to confuse me. I wouldn’t be surprised if her decedents turn out to be rappers.” I whispered to Spike.

"The cure you seek is in a cave. It'll tell you the item that you can use to save." Zecora explained. "The item is not an ingredient, but a grail. It has jewels, it's gold, and all who searched it, had failed."

"Hmph! Easy squeezy! There is nothing the great Rainbow Dash can't handle!" Rainbow said.

“That’s not what I saw when you read Cupcakes.” Spike teased.

“Oh will you shut it with the Cupcakes thing already?!” Rainbow yelled.

"Do not underestimate this quest. You must listen to me, for the best." Zecora said.

"Sure, let's ask the poet zebra for information. Maybe after this I can go on vacation!” I teased. “You see what I did there? I added to your poetry. This should be a Hearth’s Warming Carol.”

"The cave you seek is in the mountains beyond this jungle, the mountains had lots of earthquakes, and it makes it rumble!" Zecora said.

“Is that really the best you got?” I asked.

"The entrance to the cave is on top of that peak, and there are traps along the way to the item you seek. Unavoidable, those traps maybe, but if you look around and then avoid it, you can see." Zecora said.

"Pshaw!" Rainbow said. "I read plenty of Daring Do books to help me withstand any trap! Her and I are like twins." Rainbow said.

"I can see the resemblance." I said as I looked at a Daring Do book cover.

"So what's a cup gonna do that's gonna cure these ponies?" Spike asked.

"I have a recipe that can cure this ill. Red apples, spinach leaves, and pickles of dill." Zecora explained. "The cup has magical powers to makes this cure work, also Flare Gun, you’re acting like a jerk.”

“Did you just make up that rhyme just so you can say that?” I asked.

“Meet me at the hospital once you have the grail. Now go on to your quest, which you must prevail.” Zecora said.

"Don't worry Zecora, we'll bring back the grail, and cure all the ponies in Ponyville that's infected." Pinkie promised.

"Well, c'mon guys! Time’s a wasting!" Rainbow said.

“Alright you three have fun.” I said.

“You’re coming with us.” Rainbow said.

“Says who?” I asked.

“Says me.” Rainbow said.

“C’mon Flare, it’ll be fun!” Pinkie said.

“You want me to risk my life over a cup?” I asked.

“Exactly!” Pinkie said. “Isn’t risking your life fun?”

“Now that I think about it…… umm…. no it is not.” I said.

“Oh alright, Flarey, you don’t have to go.” Pinkie smiled and said.

“He doesn’t?” Rainbow asked.

“Of course I don’t.” I said.

“I mean, it’s not like this is a Friendship Lesson or anything. I know you said wanted to make all the friends you wanted, and being a hero can help you make friends with EVERYPONY in Ponyville, but it turns out you don’t really need that, do you Flare?” Pinkie asked.

“You know, I doubt you three would last five minutes without me. Let me come along to keep you girls safe.” I suggested as I walked out of Zecora’s hut.

“Wow, Pinkie, how did you get him come along?” Spike asked.

“I just repeated what a fortune cookie said. How to learn Chinese: 医生猪屁股. Lucky numbers are: 92, 19, 45, 20, 10, and 95.” Pinkie said as she hopped out of Zecora’s hut, and then Rainbow Dash and Spike just looked awkwardly at eachother.

So we all started walking around Everfree to get to the mountains in the middle of the forest where the goblet is supposed to be. As we walked, we talked, we walked ‘n talked, we talked ‘n walked, we walk the talk, and talk the walk, and when we talkitity talk talk, we walkitity walk walk, and when we walkitity walk walk, we…. Umm…. well, I think I made my point.

“Alright, so what would you all rather do? Not be able to walk, or have Zecora talk about her life for the rest of your life?” I asked.

“I prefer not walking, for sure!” Spike said.

“What? Zecora has a super de doper fun life!” Pinkie said.

“Super de doper? What are you, Barney?” Spike asked.

“Guys, we can’t fool around right now; there are lives at stake here!” Rainbow said.

"How would you like your stake? Medium rare?” I teased.

"What?” Rainbow asked.

"C’mon Dashie, don't be that way! Let's be happy and find the grail so we can cure everypony in town and we'll all live happily ever after! The end! But before then, we have to start off with once upon a time in the magical land of Equestria, with two regal sisters who ruled together and stuff.” Pinkie said.

"I’m just saying, Pinkie, this is a more waste of time right now than when Fontaine lied about his identity to the main character of Bioshock.” Rainbow said.

WARNING! This next cutaway gag contains spoilers to the game Bioshock. Please skip it if you don’t want spoilers!

A cutaway shows Jack, the main character of Bioshock, walking inside the control room after Ryan used the self-destruct countdown to Rapture. “Now would you kindly shut down that machine!” Atlas demanded. Jack takes the genetic key to Ryan’s self-destruct machine, inserts it to the slot, and the countdown stops. “Ahhhh, nice work, boyo!” Atlas chuckled. “There ain’t no Atlas, kid, never was, the name’s Frank Fontaine, and I believe when I said ‘would you kindly’ might’ve had something to do with you doing everything I said.”

“Excuse me?” Jack asked. “You mean after all that Atlas nonsense, you’re saying I was actually your slave this whole time?!”

“Sorry it had to be that way, kid, but business is business.” Fontaine said.

“NO! Don’t gimmie any of that! You’re an idiot!” Jack yelled.

“What do you mean?” Fontaine asked.

“I was forced to follow all your orders, but you still lied to me about your identity?” Jack asked. “Why couldn’t you just talk to me in your regular voice and say ‘would you kindly go up to Ryan’s office and kill him’ so I wouldn’t have you hear that ridiculous fake voice of yours? Actually, your real voice sounds ridiculous, go back to your fake one.”

“Hmm… I guess I haven’t thought about that.” Fontaine said.

“You haven’t thought of that! Not only am I your slave, you also told me lies for what reason? If you would’ve just given me your orders and all that before, I wouldn’t be wanting to really kill you right now, you moron!” Jack yelled. “I mean, maybe then I wouldn’t even know Ryan was actually my father and I wouldn’ve killed him! Same thing goes with the Little Sisters. If you really didn’t want me to rescue them, why didn’t you say ‘would you kindly’ then? Huh? You’re an idiot, Fontaine. No wonder Ryan wanted to end you in the first place.

“Would you kindly forget everything you said to me and never talk back to me again?” Fontaine asked.

“Ok, Atlas, I’ve stopped the self-destruct sequence. You’re so trustworthy and awesome, and I love your voice!” Jack said. The cutaway ends.

“I didn’t know you played Bioshock.” I said to Rainbow.

“I don’t.” Rainbow said.

“Then how did you know all- riiiiiight. You know what? Nevermind.” I said.

So as we continued walking through Everfree, we started hearing strange voices coming from all around us which was starting to scare Spike. “Do we have to go through here to get to the mountains?”

“Hey, here’s an interesting theory; did you know that 9 out of 10 medications in all of Equestria comes from right here in Everfree? It’s true. Not only is this place enchanted, it’s also the home to cure most pony diseases.” I said.

“Yeah, I kinda figured that.” Spike said.

“How?” I asked.

“I live with a librarian.” Spike said.

“So Twilight’s a powerful unicorn AND she’s smart! Sounds OP to me.” I said.

“Hey, don’t call Twilight OP. She uses her powers for good.” Spike said.

“So why is it that if Twilight’s OP she’s fine, but for everypony else, everyone thinks it’s too godlike and shameful?” I asked.

“Hang on a second, guys.” Rainbow stopped us.

“What’s wrong? Need to tie your shoe?” Pinkie asked.

“Pinkie, you know perfectly well that I don’t wear shoes.” Rainbow said.

“Oh yeah, then what’s that your hooves are on?” Pinkie asked, pointing to Rainbow’s hooves that are buried under a pile of dirt that she’s sinking in.

“Sweet Celestia, THIS IS QUICK SAND!” Rainbow panicked.

“QUICK SAND?!” Spike yelled.

“Hey, you wanna hear another interesting fact? A day on Jupiter’s moon lasts only 5 hours.” I pointed out.

"Wooooow!" Pinkie said with an impressed tone. "That is like EVERY Saturday and Sunday here on Earth!"

"I know right?!" I asked.

Rainbow started flapping her wings real fast, and tried her hardest to escape the quick sand, but the only thing she was successful in is sinking even deeper. "Why did I have to stop flying for just ONE SECOND?!" she yelled.

“Here, grab this!” Pinkie held out a stick for Rainbow to grab so she can pull herself out of the quick sand. Rainbow grabbed onto the stick and tried to tug herself out of the quick sand, but it wasn’t strong enough, and the stick snapped it half.

“Hey, Pinkie? Next time can you give me a stick that isn’t just 2 inches long?” Rainbow asked because the stick was actually pretty small. Spike held out an even bigger stick for Rainbow, she grabbed it, and attempted to pull herself out of the quick-stand, as strong as she could, and eventually, she was able to crawl out of there. Rainbow lies on the ground to catch her breath.

“How was the dip, Dashie? Is the sand too cold?” Pinkie asked as she was about to touch the quick sand, but Spike grabs her hoof before she was able to do so.

“Thanks for the help, Spike, but I could’ve gotten out myself.” Rainbow said.

“Oh I beg to differ; you would’ve been a goner without him.” I said.

“He’s got a point there.” Spike chuckled in agreement, and Rainbow just glares at us and continues to hover over a path to the mountain.

“Hey, how about me? I helped too!” Pinkie complained.

“Yeah, if Pinkie didn't get that smaller stick, how would Spike know to get that bigger one?" I asked.

“Nah, that’s just common sense, dude.” Spike said.

“Common sense? Since when did common sense ever matter in Equestria?” I asked.

“Isn’t common sense something you can’t eat a cake without frosting? Because if you don’t eat a cake without frosting, it’s just a brownie, and you can’t eat a brownie without brown, and if brown didn’t exist, it would be a reddie, or a blueie, or even a greenie!” Pinkie explained.

“A green brownie, huh? Sounds like something Burger King would’ve had that time they had green everything on their menu, like green ketchup, and green frostings and all that, you remember?” I asked.

Just as we continued to walk, we heard a noise coming from the bushes, and a slight growl coming from them. “Oh no! Please no!” Pinkie begged.

“Yeah, that sound did sound frightening.” Spike said.

“You have no idea! I hate that growling! My tummy is disappointed! Must…. Find…. Sugar!” Pinkie panicked as she looked around all hyper-venting, and tried to look for something sugary to eat, until she spotted some strawberries in nearby bushes. Just then, the growling got louder, and we all gasped.

"I don’t think that was your stomach, Pinkie.” Spike said frighteningly.

“Knowing Pinkie, brah, it could be.” I reminded him. Just then as the growl grew louder as Pinkie was eating the berries, a group of cat-like creatures jumped out of nowhere and ambushed us. Pinkie spits out the berry she was eating on one of the cat’s faces.

“Yuck! Tastes bitter! Like coffee. Ooo, coffee?! I want some coffee!” Pinkie yelled excitedly.

“Pinkie, now’s not the time for coffee. We’re surrounded!” Rainbow said.

“What are these creatures?” I asked.

“Ligers. Half-lion, half-tiger.” Spike said.

“Is that a Napoleon Dynamite reference?” I asked.

"Hi there! I'm Pinkie Pie!" Pinkie Pie said to the ligers with a smile. "Sorry about the spitting, I promise it won't happen again! Can we be friends?" One of the ligers then roared loudly on Pinkie’s face. “Ew! Say it, don’t spray it!” The ligers kept on roaring at us, and walking around us in a circle, about to pounce on us.

"C'mon! You want a piece of me?!" Rainbow yelled with her hooves up. Spike grabbed on my front left leg and was shaking in freight, and since he was on my leg, I was caught in the vibration.

“They look hungry.” Spike said.

“Of course they’re hungry, they’re ligers.” I said in an obvious tone.

"I realize you might be a little angry, but just a little smile will make all your anger go away! So c'mon, smile! It'll make you feel better!" Pinkie suggested.

“Pinkie, now isn’t the best time to smile either.” Rainbow said.

“I was talking to the ligers, silly!” Pinkie corrected her. As the ligers kept circling around us, Spike noticed smoke coming out of their noses.

“These ligers are magical. They got fire in their systems.” Spike pointed out.

“Great! They’ll barbeque us, then eat us!” Rainbow said.

“It all depends on the correct temperature of their fire breath actually.” I corrected her.

“FLARE!” Rainbow yelled at me.

The ligers began to inhale and were about to breathe fire on us, but I screamed like a little girl and placed my hooves on my eyes, and just then, my horn activated and it created a bubble around us. All of four us crouched down and covered our heads when the ligers started breathing the fire, but the fire didn’t penetrate through the bubble. Rainbow uncovered her face to see what was going on, and she saw the bubble covering us, and realized we weren’t burnt in a crisp. A liger then came up to the bubble and breathed fire on it again, but it still couldn't get through. The liger growled and pointed at us (Rainbow specifically) with its sharp nail, and they all walked away angrily.

"WOW!" Pinkie said excitedly. "I have no idea what just happened, but I’m having a panic attack!”

"Yeah, Flare that was awesome! I didn't know you can create a bubble shield with your horn!" Rainbow said.

"I didn't know either." I said as the shield disappeared after my horn deactivated. "Must be a new spell or something.”

“Yeah, Twilight has those too. She creates new spells by accident at times. I guess that’s what you went through.” Spike said.

“Cool! I got a new bubble shield spell! Now I’m in the mood to playing Halo.” I said.

"Wow! I thought we were dead meat for sure!" Spike said in relief.

“I thought we were gonna be baked goods. If that were the case, I’d totally eat myself!” Pinkie said excitedly.

“Impossible. You’d die before you’re able to eat yourself, and besides I think you wouldn’t be able to eat yourself anyway if you were baked because then you’d be burned to death.” I pointed out.

“That’s a comforting image, Flare.” Spike said sarcastically.

“Feel dat Mareami heat, brah!” I said. “Praise the Wizards! Happy face.”

“How many of your phrases are you gonna say at once?” Spike asked.

"SHTAIRS!" I yelled.

“If you three don’t mind, we have time wasting. Our friends are sick, and it’s up to us to save them.” Rainbow reminded us.

“Alright! Time to become the champions of the wo-WHOA!” I yelled as I collapsed on the floor.

“Flare, you alright?” Spike asked.

“We doing the flop now?” Pinkie asked.

“I’m alright. I’m just feeling very exhausted.” I said.

“Must’ve been the bubble shield spell. New magics can be quite exhausting. We should find somewhere to camp.” Spike suggested.

“But there are ponies in Ponyville that need us!” Rainbow reminded him.

“I know, but Flare’s tired, and he should rest. Let’s find somewhere to shelter for the night. We’ll continue first thing in the morning.” Spike explained.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right, Spike.” Rainbow said.

"Oooooh! I love camping!" Pinkie said excitedly.

“Ok, Pinkie and I will get firewood, and you and Flare should get shelter. Sound good?" Rainbow suggested.

"Getting wood is what Pinkies do best!” Pinkie said as she hopped away to get some firewood with Rainbow.

“Surprised you don’t have a coltfriend yet.” Spike teased.

“I can’t really move, brah.” I said.

“I’ll help you all I can.” Spike said.

“Well, at least it’s not raining.” I said. Just then, some storm clouds headed in, and thunder started to rumble, and then right after, it started hailing. “Aw c’mon, hail?! You gotta be kidding me.” I complained.

“Let’s get into shelter.” Spike said. After a little while went by, the four of us met inside of a cave while it was hailing outside. While we were relaxing in the cave and while we were munching on some food we brought with us, and we were sitting by the fire, I was telling everypony a scary story.

"...and then when they were in the kitchen one of the guy's were saying: 'LOOK OUT! There's a ghost behind you!' And then guess what happened next?" I asked them. “You all have to guess!" Pinkie Pie was shaking in fright, Spike was sleeping, and Rainbow Dash just sat there, glaring at me. "Brahs, you have to guess!" I demanded.

"Just put an end to this awful story!" Rainbow demanded.

Just then, I stood up on my hind legs with my arms out and continued. "And the guy turned around, and there was a ghost floating there the whole entire time!" Just then suddenly Pinkie Pie screamed which woke up Spike which startled him, and Rainbow was just a bit startled too, but only with Pinkie’s screaming. "THE END! Or is it? For now. Or is it? Then a skeleton popped out! THE END! Or is it?"

"You call that a scary story?" Rainbow asked.

“That was the scariest story I’ve ever heard! Probably more scarier than the Headless Horse.” Pinkie said.

“More scarier?” Rainbow asked, repeating Pinkie’s incorrect grammar.

“Yes, more scarier!” Pinkie said.

“The only thing that scares me in here is Pinkie’s screaming. That, and I hope there are no bears in here.” Spike said.

“Bears in caves? That’s ridiculous! Bears live in big blue houses.” Pinkie corrected him.

“No they don’t.” Spike corrected her.

“Regardless though; but anyways, I got a better scary story for you! It involves zebras.” I said.

“That doesn’t sound scary, that sounds racist!” Spike said.

“Oh like you weren't racist to her when you first met her.” I reminded him.

“Yeah, good point.” Spike said.

"I got a better scary story for you, Flare.” Rainbow said.

I chuckled sarcastically. “Lawl, yeah right.”

"Once upon a time, there was a pony that sucked so much at telling scary stories, that his friends were bored outta their lives and wanted to punch that pony in the face.” Rainbow teased.

I just looked at her emotionless for a few seconds, and then I said, “I don’t get it.”

"Yeah, Dashie! You just told a story that made noooooooo sense at all!" Pinkie said.

"Fine, I got a real scary story for you, Flare!" Spike started.

"I'm listening.” I said.

"Once upon a time, there was a pony who bought a MAC!" Spike and mischievously.

"Surprise face!" I gasped. "Then what?"

"Then he had no money for internet.” Spike said.

"HOLY WIZARD OF FEELINGS! This is too much!” I said frighteningly.

"But eventually he did." Spike added.

"Phew! That was a close call." I wiped the sweat from my forehead in relief. "For a second there, I thought-"

"But it was dial-up!” Spike said.

"GASP!" I freaked out again. "This story is so scary!"

"So he noticed it was a junky computer, so he bought a PC." Spike said.

"Yay!" I cheered. "PC beats MAC by a long shot!"

"But it was Windows Vista!” Spike added.

"AAAAH!" I yelled as I started shaking, and covering my eyes. "This is so scary! Please stop!"

"But then he upgraded to Windows 7." Spike added.

"Oh that's good! Windows 7 is more user friendly than Windows Vista.” I said.

“I’m starting to get confused.” Rainbow said.

"Then he bought every single video game that can be played on the PC!" Spike said.

"Wow! What a story, bro!" I said excitedly. "So much twists and turns! You'll never know what to expect next!"

"EXCEPT GRAND THEFT AUTO!" Spike yelled. I gasped so hard that time, I fainted. I was so surprised, I'm lucky I didn't get a heart-attack then.

“Wow! That might’ve been much.” Spike said.

"WHOA!" Pinkie cried. "I don't get it."

"How would you know he'd react to that?" Rainbow asked.

"Trust me; I hung with Flare since the first time he moved to town. I know what he likes and doesn't like, and if you look at his cutie mark, you'd know that he'd react to something that has to do with computers." Spike explained.

"Nice!” Rainbow said as she mischievously bro/sister hoofed/fisted Spike.

After a little while went by, Pinkie and Spike went to sleep, but Rainbow couldn’t sleep. Something started to worry her a bit. She was tossing and turning on her sleeping bag, grunting and gasping, and then she finally stood up, rubbed her face, and walked over to Pinkie and I. I wasn’t on a sleeping bag though; I was still fainted from Spike’s story. When Rainbow looked down at us, she said, “You two are reckless and never take anything seriously, but I adore you both, and I don’t want you getting hurt. I’m sorry.” Rainbow then grabbed her things and walked outside in the dark. It wasn’t hailing anymore at least. When she walked outside, she was about to take off, but she was stopped by Spike.

“Rainbow Dash? Where are you going?” he asked.

“Pinkie Pie and Flare Gun are going to get themselves hurt. I was thinking about it and because of them joking around on this trip, they’re going to get themselves or us killed along with them. I have to go on and get the goblet myself.” Rainbow said.

“But, you’re the Element of Loyalty. You can’t just leave them behind.” Spike said.

“But it’s because I’m the Element of Loyalty that’s keeping them behind. I don’t want them to get hurt, so I must go on, alone.” Rainbow said.

“What about me?” Spike asked.

“You’re a kid.” Rainbow said.

“I’ve been in dire situations before, so has Pinkie, and Flare saved our lives against those ligers.” Spike said.

“By accident though.” Rainbow added.

“What about the big venus fly trap we met when Flare first moved to Ponyville?” Spike asked.

“That was just a singing plant. I’m sure we’ll be meeting up with a bunch more dangers up ahead when we get to the mountain. I can’t have them come, I’m sorry.” Rainbow said.

“But, Rainbow!” Spike begged.

“I’m sorry, Spike. That’s my final word.” Rainbow said as she flew off into the night sky.

“Sweet Celestia, Rainbow is more stubborn than Flare when he’s on a swing set.” Spike said.

A cutaway shows me swinging on a swing set, and Spike was standing there begging for a turn. “But I want a turn on the swing set!”

“No!” I said as I continued.

“But you’ve gone for two turns!” he whined.

“Get lost!” I instructed him.

“But it looks like fun and I wanna tryyyyyyyyy!” Spike begged.

“No! I’m doing it! I’m gonna do a big jump off!” I said as I jumped off the swing and landed on my stomach and I started to scream. “AAAAH! GET MOM!”

“MOM!” Spike yelled as he ran off. The cutaway ends.

The next morning came. The sun was shinning. I yawned, stretched out, and walked outside. I sniffed the air, and exhales. "What a beautiful da-“ I said to myself, but I couldn’t finish the sentence because Pinkie ran outside and trampled me.

“I am so hungry right now! Need breakfast! I’d like some French toast and cupcakes!” Pinkie said.

“You eat cupcakes for breakfast?” I asked with my head in the ground.

“Doesn’t everypony eat cupcakes for breakfast?” Pinkie asked.

“No.” I said as I pushed onto the ground to attempt to get my face out, and once I was successful, I stood up and wiped the dirt off my body and vest. “I think you might be thinking of muffins.”

“What’s the difference between the two? Aren’t they the same thing?” Pinkie asked.

“Besides their shape and paper on the bottom, pretty much everything. They got different ingredients, and one has butter on it while the other has frosting.” I explained.

“Hm... I wonder where Dashie is?” Pinkie asked.

“Probably went on her early-morning flying exercises. When she comes back we’ll go on.” I said.

“Yeah, I have confession to make.” Spike said.

“Spike we don’t have time for whatever you have to say. We need to wait for Rainbow and look for that goblet. The ponies in Ponyville are depending on us!” I said.

“You see that’s what I need to talk to you about.” Spike said. “Rainbow ditched us.”

“Spike, I have no time for this. I’m waiting for Rainbow.” I said.

“Flare, she’s not coming back. She went on to get the goblet herself.” Spike corrected me.

“Pfffft! Don’t be silly, Spike!” Pinkie said.

“Don’t be silly? Listen to yourself, Pinks!” I teased.

Pinkie giggled and said, “You’re right!”

“I’m hungry too; I need a grand slam from Denny's!" I said.

“Umm guys?” Spike said, trying to get our attention.

“Hey, you’re silly too.” Pinkie pointed out.

“What makes you think that?” I asked.

“When I needed money and you let me have some, you keep your money inside a peanut brittle can full of snakes.” Pinkie said.

“Of course I keep my money in there. It’s guarded by snakes.” I said.

“Guys?” Spike repeated himself.

“And you also keep money inside the buttocks of Gree-“ Pinkie added but her sentence was cut off by my interrupting.

“Up, up, up. Don’t say it. The buttocks of a super hero action figure who shall remain nameless for his own protection.” I said. “Or… HER own protection.”

“Are you two finished? Because I’d like to continue what I was saying.” Spike asked.

“Yes, brah, we heard you. Rainbow Dash ditched us.” I said.

“So why aren’t you surprised?” Spike asked.

“Just because I was passed out last night and lost all feeling and attention to the outside world doesn’t make me deaf.” I said.

“Actually it kinda does, temporarily though.” Spike corrected me.

“I still don’t know what that word means.” Pinkie whispered in my ear.

“What, ‘temporarily’?” I asked.

“No, the word ‘kinda’.” Pinkie whispered.

“Yeah that word gets to me too.” I whispered.

“I can hear every word you’re saying.” Spike said.

“No you can’t. We were whispering. If we were whispering, that automatically means you can’t hear us.” Pinkie corrected him.

“You two are loud whisperers.” Spike said.

“At least we don’t burp fire.” I said.

“Oooooo burn.” Pinkie teased and giggled.

“Yeah you REALLY got me good, Flare.” Spike said sarcastically. “Also, nice pun, Pinkie.”

Pinkie giggled again. “Pun Pinkie, I like the sound of that.”

After a while went by, the three of us continued our journey to look for the goblet. While we continued walking through Everfree, we had a conversation, and without Rainbow Dash to slow us down on saying we should stay focused on our mission. Pinkie was sniffing on the ground like a dog, hoping to find some clues and making sure we’re at the right path to the mountain. “You know, Spike-“ I started, but Spike interrupted me.

“Yes, I know Spike, he’s a pretty terrific fella.” He teased and gave me chuckley smile. I just looked at him emotionless for a few seconds, and then I continued.

“As I was saying… I’ve been given the matter some thought, and I think I’d be willing to be a house pet to a race of super-intelligent aliens.” I said.

“Interesting.” Spike said.

“Are you gonna ask me why?” I asked.

“Do I have to?” Spike asked.

“Of course. That’s how you move a conversation forward.” I said.

Spike was silent for a few moments, but then he smiled and said in a high-pitched voice, “Why?”

“Mainly because I’d have proof of alien-life existing, so I can learn their cultures, and frankly, I like having my belly scratched.” I said. Just then, just as Pinkie was sniffing, her eyes open wide, and she then flexes in a dog point stance, pointing her nose to the west of us.

“This way!” Pinkie pointed.

“This way to the mountain?” I asked.

“No, this way to the nearest Denny’s, I thought you wanted to go to Denny’s?” Pinkie asked.

“I wish, but we have a job to do.” I said.

“Well, if you’re looking for the mountain it’s right over there, behind us.” Pinkie pointed. Spike and I looked behind us and saw the mountain towering over the horizon. The three of us looked up, and up, and up, and I looked up so high that I fell backwards, but when Pinkie kept looking up… well, let’s just say she has a very flexible neck.

"Yay! We made it!" Pinkie cheered in excitement. "Now all we need to do is get to the top!"

"Really, Pinks? I thought we should go under it and see how that turns out.” I said sarcastically.

“Oooo, you can do that?” Pinkie asked.

“Bazinga!” I said.

“What does that mean?” Pinkie asked.

“It’s from Big Bang Theory. It means you’re joking around.” I said.

“I don’t get it.” Pinkie said.

“What’s funny about that is, I said ‘I don’t get it’ last night.” I pointed out.

"Looks like there's a path over there that can take us to the top.” Spike pointed out.

“If only we had Rainbow Dash here, she’d help us in getting to the top.” I said.

“Or Twilight using her teleportation magic to teleport us to the top.” Spike suggested.

“And others thought I was OP with my Shoop da Whoop and stuff.” I said. And so the three of us started walking up the path to the mountain. It was a pretty steep climb, and we were in a height that would seem deadly if we fell but I wouldn’t want to discuss that.

“Wow, this is very steep.” Pinkie said as she looked down over the edge.

“Obviously. Don’t hang over the edge, Pinks.” I asked her frighteningly.

“Why? This is an amazing view!” Pinkie said as she leaned closer to the edge.

“PINKIE! STOP IT!” I yelled.

“Whoa, what gotten you all hunky-doodle?” Pinkie asked.

“It’s hunky-dory, Pinkie.” Spike corrected her.

“No, hunky dory means going well. Hunky doodle means the opposite.” Pinkie corrected him.

“I’d gladly appreciate you two not fool around when we’re so high up and at a risk of falling to our deaths not knowing what’s gonna happen next, I hope it’s just not a black screen!” I freaked out. "Can we die from this height?"

“What’s wrong, Flarey? You ‘fraid of heights?” Pinkie asked, pulling me towards her.

“NO! Not afraid of heights. Afraid of falling is my problem. There’s no safety bar here, like on the Death Star cannon room where those two guys were standing.” I said.

“C’mon, Flare. This isn’t that high.” Spike said as he walked over to the edge and looked down. The ground looked like it was miles away, and there were clouds down below, and an eagle flying by. “Right.” He said.

“I just wanna get this over with and go home.” I said.

“Waaaaaay ahead of you, Flare!” Pinkie said from a cliff-floor above the one we were in.

“Wow, she’s fast.” Spike said.

“C’mon! There’s no time to waste! I’m already two floors ahead of you!” Pinkie said from the cliff edge above the one that was above us.

“She IS fast.” Spike said.

“Keep saying I’m fast. I can do this all day, boys!” Pinkie yelled out from one more cliff edge above the one she was just on. Spike and I started catching up with her, but every time we go up a cliff, she goes up three. I’m telling you, that Pinkie Pie is as hyper as a…. crud, I’m sounding like AppleJack! She was fast, I’ll just leave it at that! We kept chasing Pinkie for many yards up until we finally reached the top. Spike and I were exhausted when we got there, and Pinkie was sitting on a sofa chair, reading a newspaper, and when she saw us, she said, “Well, it’s about time you two showed up.”

“Pinkie I… phew… I-D-K how you do it, but yooooooooou… you are fast!” I said as I was catching my breath.

“And yoooooooooooou, you kept me waiting.” Pinkie teased. “Now turn that frown upside down, Flare! Before you know it, we’ll have the grail, and we’ll be outta here faster than you can say ‘My goodness, that griffon is extra friendly today’.”

“I don’t get it.” I said again.

“Griffons AREN’T friendly. That’s the point.” Pinkie said.

“Oooooooh!” I nodded. “I still don’t get it.”

“I met two griffons before and they weren't that friendly.” Pinkie said.

“And you think both of those griffons represent all griffons? What about Peter Griffin?” I asked.

“I never met him in person, but seeing him on TV…” Pinkie continued.

“Yes?” I asked.

“Still don’t know him.” Pinkie said.

“Guys, I just said ‘My goodness, that griffon is extra friendly today’ 10 times already, do we have the goblet yet?” Spike asked.

“Oh we were starting that when I said it?” Pinkie asked.

“I thought we did.” Spike said.

"Well time's a-wasting! Let's go!" Pinkie said as she started hopping into the cave, and Spike and I followed. While we were walking inside the cave, every couple of yards we walked, I launched one of my flares outta my horn and it landed on the ground. We were using them as a light source, and a path back to the entrance so we don't get lost. Pinkie was still hopping, even though the cave felt like it was getting tighter and tighter....... that didn’t sound right.

“Now, let’s see, where else could I be if I wasn’t here right now?” I started. “Well, today’s Saturday, Saturday is Laundry Day, I could be doing Laundry. Putting my thin white shirt in the washer, then the dryer, and once the white shirt comes out, they would smell soooooo good! The white-wash will always be my favorite wash! I could also be having some of my delicious eggplant parm for lunch at my shop. Ooo, ooo, and maybe I could be watching Battlestar Galatica while having the eggplant, garlic rolls, and nice 2-liter Dr. Pepper!”

“I could be home not to hear you talking.” Spike said.

“Aww Spike, don’t talk like that, I’m liking Flare’s idea for a game!” Pinkie said. “Now where I could be right now, is at Candy Land, swimming in a chocolate milk spring with a chocolate milk water fall, and drinking out of a milk chocolate cup!”

“And since its Saturday, I could be at my nana’s house! Oh I miss nana so much, I had to leave her back in Mareami. She was the one who raised me, you know, because my parents were way too busy to.” I explained. Just then, as we continued walking, it felt like we were stepping in something squishy.

“Oh gross!” Spike said as he lifted his foot. “What are we stepping on?”

“Hmmm.” Pinkie thought to herself, lifted her hoof, sniffed it, felt it, and even licked it. “It’s mud.” She said.

“Are you sure?” I asked.

“I grew up in a rock farm, I’d know mud when I see it, or feel it, smell it, taste it, wash it, date it, or even be it.” Pinkie explained, and then she starts chuckling. “This mud feels funny! Literary!”

"Ugh! I got mud all over my feet!” Spike complained.

“Luckily for me, I’m wearing shoes! Tongue face.” I teased. “You know even though I’m overly consistent on keeping my hooves clean, I’m surprised Rarity doesn’t wear shoes.”

“Weeeee! Mud is fun! It’s so all brown and squishy and liquidy!” Pinkie said as she started jumping up and down on the mud, and the mud started getting all over Spike and I

“Hey, HEY! Easy on the vest!” I demanded. So after a bit, we finally made it on the other side of the mud puddle, with the three of us covered in mud.

"Ugh! Look at me!” Spike complained.

“Look at you? You can get clean, I’m worried about my vest! I have no idea if that mud will stain.” I said.

So then we continued walking, and on the way we saw some arrows on the cave wall that looked like they’ve been shot already, and some panels on the floor that looked like it’s been stepped on.

“Hmm, that’s strange. It would appear all the traps in this chamber have been activated already, which means-“ Spike started.

“Which means we would have to eat pea-pods for dinner tonight?” Pinkie asked.

“No.” Spike said. “It would mean that somepony is here already, or has been here.” Just then, the three of us heard a grunting sound echo through the caves.

“Sounds like somepony’s taking a poop.” I said.

“Did you really have to say that, Flare?” Spike asked.

“I didn’t say the words ‘that Flare’, I said it sounds like somepony’s-“ I corrected him.

“Don’t say it again!” Spike demanded.

“Hello?! Is somepony there?!” a familiar voice shouts from the distance.

“Perhaps. Who’s talking?!” I called out.

“It’s me, Rainbow Dash!” she called out.

“Oh you mean the one that left us?” I reminded her as I shot a flare to the front of me, and there was Rainbow lying on the ground.

“Whoa! That flare was cutting it close, careful with your aim!” Rainbow instructed.

“It was dark, how could I aim?” I asked.

“Dashie, now is not the time for a nap. The ponies in Ponyville are counting on us!” Pinkie reminded her.

“I know, and I thought I could just do this myself, but I realized I couldn’t. I’m sorry I left you.” Rainbow said.

“You violated the Friendship Agreement though, Dashie! How could you?” Pinkie asked.

“Actually, Pinks, this wasn’t part of the Friendship Agreement, so no strikes.” I reminded her.

“So what happened to you, Rainbow?” Spike asked.

“Well, I activated a trap, and despite my awesome skills of avoiding them, which by the way, I avoided all of them up to this point!” Rainbow explained.

“But you weren’t fast enough and you got caught on one of them.” Spike added.

Rainbow was silent for a few moments and said embarrassingly, “Yeah…”

“Which trap did you fall into? A trap door? A trap arrow? A trap crusher? A trap cherry pie?” Pinkie asked.

“A poison dart. I’m paralyzed from the neck down.” Rainbow said. “When a fly lands on my nose, pretty much the only thing I can do is blow it off.”

“I don’t get it.” I said.

“What’s not to get about that?” Spike asked.

“Anyways, ready to go home?” Pinkie asked.

“Ready to go home? We didn’t get the goblet yet!” Spike reminded her.

“Actually, I have it right here!” Pinkie said as she takes the goblet out of her pocket and shows it to us, but one problem to that… when did Pinkie get pockets… you know what? It’s Pinkie Pie, nevermind.

“So it was that easy? No traps were set off?” Rainbow asked.

“Oh there was a trap. If I can calculate this correctly, this cave is going to collapse in approximitlyyyyyyyyyy…. 20 seconds!” Pinkie said happily.

“Oh.” Rainbow said. So we all stood there for a couple of seconds, and afterwords, we started to run. “HEY! A little help please?!” Rainbow called out as she was still laying paralyzed on the ground.

“Hmm… should we? Because you left us before.” I reminded her.

“Flare! I said I was sorry!” she reminded me.

“I know you did, but you still went.” I said.

“Flare if you don’t let me outta here, we’re both going to die.” Rainbow said.

“Hmm… let me think about it for a sec.” I thought to myself.

“FLARE!” Rainbow yelled.

“I made up my mind, let’s go!” I said as I picked up Rainbow Dash and placed her on my back, and I started to slowly escape from the cave.

“Can you go any faster?” Rainbow asked.

“I’m not the strongest pony alive, and you should lay off the fritters.” I said.

“So this is how it ends, huh? The irritating red pony calling me fat.” She complained.

Meanwhile, just as Pinkie and Spike run out of the caves with the goblet, the cave collapses behind them, trapping Rainbow and I inside. “Rainbow!” Pinkie and Spike yelled at the same time.

“And Flare.” I added from the other side of the collapsed cave.

“Are you two okay?!” Pinkie yelled. “Take deep breathes if you can’t breathe!”

“We can breathe just fine. Luckily, Flare’s bubble shield saved us from the falling debris.” Rainbow said. “But now we’re trapped, and I’m still paralyzed.”

“I can use my shoop da whoop to break the falling rocks leading to our escape.” I said.

“So do it then!” Rainbow demanded.

“Don’t yell at me!” I whined.

“I’m sorry; would you please use your giant laser-what-you-call-it to break the debris out of the way?” Rainbow asked.

“I would.” I said.

“Sooooo…” Rainbow started.

“I can’t though. My bubble shield is keeping the debris on top of us from squishing us, I can only do one spell at a time.” I said. “Umm, Spike, use your flames!”

“What am I, a Pokemon? Besides, if these rocks were ice then I’d be able to use my flames, but what can my flames do with this solid rock?” Spike corrected me.

“Good point. Use your teeth!” I instructed him.

“Only fully-grown dragons can use their teeth to go through rock like this.” Spike corrected me.

“Well, I’m out of ideas. Rainbow?” I asked her.

“Well, if I can get unparalyzed then I can just charge through the rocks, but unfortunately that’ll take a while.” Rainbow said.

“Ugh! Groans! You know what else I could be doing today? Playing pool with Engie. Even though I don’t like pool, it sure beats the hay outta this.” I complained.

“Flare, it could be worse, just remember that. What’s done is done, and there’s nothing we can do to change it.” Rainbow advised me.

“I don’t think we can wait any longer. Ponies are dying and we need to go back and help them- oh hey, the debris is gone.” I pointed out.

“Wait, what?” Rainbow asked as she peeked through and saw the sunlight.

“How did that happen?” I asked.

“I moved them, silly!” Pinkie said.

“How? There were like… a ton of rocks here!” I said.

“I grew up on a rock farm, I know rocks, but my sisters know rocks more than I do.” Pinkie said.

“Fair point.” I nodded as I deactivated my bubble shield.

“Now that you’re free, and we got the goblet, we can return to Zecora’s and make that elixir!” Spike said.

“Well I hope we can get some food along the way, I’m starving so much I can eat a horse!” I said. Pinkie and Rainbow then looked at me in shock, and Pinkie stepped back 10 feet while dragging Rainbow with her. "It's a figure of speech." I corrected hem. "And B-T-W, we're ponies, not horses. Remember?"

“Whatever. Let’s just get outta here.” Rainbow said as Pinkie and I carried her as we started walking down the mountain and returning to Ponyville.

“Lawl remember?” I added.

After a while went by, we returned to Ponyville and headed over to the hospital along with Zecora with the elixir. To make a long story short, everypony turned out ok, all of them! When it was all over, we were congratulated by the Mayor for our efforts, and afterwords, we all had a word with the Cakes. “Thank goodness all of you came back just in time!” Mr. Cakes said.

“We almost gave up for loss!” Mrs. Cakes said.

“It was no problem at all, Mr. and Mrs. Cakes! It was fun going on a scavenger hunt!” Pinkie said.

“Scavenger hunt? Kinda felt a little much for a scavenger hunt.” Rainbow said.

“Well, regardless, thank you! You saved Ponyville, and you saved our reputation!” Mrs. Cakes said.

“But the question is… where did the ingredients we bought come from?” Mr. Cakes asked.

“Looks like that’ll be a mystery to solve another time, dear.” Mrs. Cakes said to her husband.

“You four did a spectacular job in retrieving the grail! The ponies here in Ponyville will give you great hail.” Zecora said.

“It was no biggie!” Spike said.

“All in good fun!” Pinkie said.

"Speaking of hail, we were caught in it." I said.

“Now if you excuse me, I should go tell Rarity of my heroic efforts. Catch ya all later!” Spike said as he zoomed off.

“Hey, Flare, Pinkie? Can I talk to you two for a second?” Rainbow asked.

“Sure, Dashie!” Pinkie said.

“I know what she’s gonna say, and I for one forgive you. You were only trying to protect us. Also, I apologize for goofing around on the trip. I guess there situations where goofing around isn't suggested under certain circumstances.” I explained.

“I’m sorry too, Dashie. Can’t always help it all the time, you know?” Pinkie asked.

“I know, and I sometimes forget that.” Rainbow smiled and nodded. “Also since we’re all apologizing here. Sorry for having you to carry me all the way home.”

“Why are you apologizing? You were paralyzed.” I reminded her.

“Well, actually… I felt better after we got off the mountain.” Rainbow chuckled embarrassingly.

“Seriously, Rainbow?! Like seriously actually?!” I complained.

“That’s not cool, Dashie! I had to carry you behind the bushes so you’d go to the bathroom!” Pinkie complained.

“Yeah I didn’t think that through.” Rainbow admitted.

“I don’t get it.” I said once again.

“Howdy, Flare!” Engie said as he joined our conversation.

"Hey, Engie! Glad you’re all better!” I said.

"Ah know, partner! Ah know!" Engie agreed. "Hey guess, what? I got some news to share!"

"Oh really? What was it?" I asked.

"Ah just bought a new computer! It was a MAC, ah got dial-up internet connection, and ah bought every single video game that can be played on it! Except for Grand Theft Auto though, but still, isn’t that great?” Engie asked.

“Ummm… excuse me for a moment, I think I’m gonna pass out.” I said as I fell to the ground and passed out, and Pinkie, Rainbow, and Engie just looked down at me in concern.

“I think I just found out the easiest way to defeat Flare in our next game of Dessert War!” Pinkie said excitedly.

“Ah don’t get it.” Engie said.

Author's Note

Not much has changed between this Brownie Madness chapter and the other one, and it took me a VERY long time to finish this because I really didn't know what to do, but I really wanted this to be a Pinkie and Rainbow chapter along with Flare. What has changed is Rainbow's part in the story.

The Unicorn Games

“We now return to Big Daddy.” The TV announcer said as I was sitting down on my couch, watching TV.

“I have to go to the bathroom.” Julian McGrath said.

“You what? B-but u-uh-uh we-we’re going to be there in a minute.” A Big Daddy Bouncer from Bioshock said.

“I have to go now!” Julian whined.

“Hey, didn’t you pee enough in bed already?” the Big Daddy asked, and Julian shook his head. “B-but we only have… nine minutes to get there.”

“But I have to go to the bathroom!” Julian whined.

“Alright, let’s go.” The Big Daddy said as he took Julian over to a restaurant nearby so he can pee on the building.

Julian was just standing there by the building, but then he started to whine again, “I can’t do it.”

“What do you mean you can’t do it? You said you gotta go, just go.” The Big Daddy said.

“I’m scared; could you do it too?” Julian asked.

“Alright, and we’re off.” The Big Daddy said as he turned around to face the building.

Just then, I heard a knock on the door. “It’s unlocked!” I yelled.

“No it’s not!” Spike yelled from outside.

“Try the window!” I yelled. Spike then takes a running start and leaps towards the window and crashes into it.

“No it’s not!” Spike yelled.

“Try the toilet entrance!” I yelled.

“Oh c’mon, I hate the toilet entrance! I always get sick and my picture always comes out wrong!” Spike whined.

“What’s the toilet entrance?” Crystal asked as her and Engineer joined him in front of my front door.

“I’ll show you.” Spike opens a secret panel inside the doorbell, he pushes the red button in it, and the three of them fall inside a trap door and onto a rollercoaster car.

“Please keep your hooves, legs, muzzles, and wings inside the car at all times, and watch your kids please.” The voice in the PA instructed them as the safety bar firms tightly on their legs.

“Oh snap! The toilet entrance is a rollercoaster, huh?” Crystal asked.

“Does it have loopty loops? Ah can’t handle those.” Engie asked.

“Luckily it doesn’t, but it does have a lot of quick turns and ups and DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWNS!” Spike yelled as the ride started in the middle of his sentence. The rollercoaster car started going up and down, sideways; Crystal had her hooves up, having the time of her life, Spike just sat there green faced, and Engie was frightened, and as Spike was barfing into a bag, there was a flash of light, and from my bathroom, I walk inside and flush the toilet. After I flushed the toilet, Spike, Engie, and Crystal popped out and landed in the middle of my bathroom floor.

“Sup brahs?” I asked.

“That was pretty intense, partner. Ah was so glad it started unexpectingly, instead of those rollercoasters that just go up, and then down right after you say ‘here we go’. Ah really don’t like rollercoasters that have a slow start.” Engie said.

“That was fun, can we do that again?” Crystal asked.

“Show me my picture first! I wanna see my picture!” Spike demanded as a picture slides out of the slot near the toilet. He takes a look at it, and the picture shows him barfing in a bag, Engie with his hooves on his eyes, and Crystal with her hooves in the air and a tensed-out face. “Aw man, I always have my eyes closed during the picture!” he complained.

“So what brings you three here? Since you tried out the toilet entrance, this must be something important.” I assumed.

“It is! Since I always see Twilight at the end of the day, I wanted to show you this first.” Spike gave me a flyer to look at.

“The Ponyville Unicorn Games, huh?” I read it.

“Twilight entered that event once before, and I gotta say, it was no doubt she’d be a winner, especially after the intense magic she did when an Ursa Minor came to town.” Spike said.

“Oooo, Ursa Minor! Wait, what’s an Ursa Minor?” Crystal asked.

“Ah believe it’s a star system, but it’s actually called the Ursa Major.” Engie said.

“Actually it’s a creature in the Everfree Forest. It attacked the town after a couple of colts named Snips and Snails awoken it from its slumber.” Spike explained.

“Oh yeah, I know those two. They visit my shop all the time and pig out.” I said.

“So why don’t ya kick them out?” Engie asked.

“No way, brah! I’m getting a lot of money for their visit! At this rate, I’ll be richer than Bill Gates!” I said.

A cutaway shows a mail pony arriving at Bill Gate’s mansion, but as he walked to the gate, the gate itself asked, “Hey, what do you think you’re doing here?”

“Whoa! A talking gate!” the mail pony said surprisingly.

“Yeah, I’m a talking gate.” The gate said.

“Wait, you sound a lot like Bill Gates.” The mail pony assumed.

“Eeyup! Bill GATES, get it? After my death, I bought myself some surgery so my soul can be always on my gate, so I can keep out the intruders so they don’t steal my private helicopter, my collection of solid gold Windows logos, and keeping out the Apple folks.” Bill Gates said.

“Umm, ok.” The mail pony said. “So what do you want me to do with this mail?”

“Oh if you wanna give me my mail, you’ll have to go through me!” Bill Gates said as he opened himself to let the mail pony in. “Heh, get it?”

“I’ll also need a signature.” The mail pony said.

“Oh, then you’ll need to talk my great-uncle, Angel.” Bill Gates said.

“So where do I sign?” an angel statue asked. The cutaway ends.

“The Unicorn Games sounds like a great idea for you, Flare! You can show off your awesome magic spells!” Crystal said.

“Just because I have awesome magic spells doesn’t mean I have to show them off so other ponies can call me OP.” I said.

“Nopony’s gonna call you OP, partner. Your spells is what makes ya unique, and for those who disagree can just shove it!” Engie said.

“That doesn’t sound very appropriate, Engie.” I said.

“What? Doesn’t everypony shove stuff in other pony’s faces, especially Pinkie?” Engie asked.

“Oh, faces, I thought you were talking about, ummm… anyways, you dudes think I actually have a chance at winning?” I asked.

“Of course you do! You got that flare spell, that water squirter spell, the hornsaber, bubble shield, that giant laser spell, you got it all!” Crystal said.

“The Shoop Da Whoop spell? I dunno about using it in front of all those ponies. It seems a little OP, even though I get exhausted pretty easily while doing that spell.” I explained.

“What do ya need to get back on your hooves again after usin’ that spell?” Engie asked.

“Well, my magical powers can be fueled up instantly with caffeine normally.” I said.

“So we’ll just bring some Pepsi along with us.” Engie suggested.

“Nah, too much caffeine. Not only will that make me look even more OP, but too much caffeine makes me blink a lot.” I said.

“Ah guess a weeping angel knows what to make ya weak.” Engie said.

“I make some nice freshly brewed iced tea though, so I can use that instead.” I said.

“Sounds like a good idea to me!” Crystal said.

"So how about training?” Spike asked.

“What?” I asked.

“Training; you need to train in order to win the games.” Spike said.

“Alright, but who’ll train with me?” I asked.

“Duh, me of course!” Spike said.

“But what will Twilight think? Aren’t you suppose to be helping her?” Crystal asked.

“Come to think of it, she is participating.” Spike thought.

“What about Rarity?” Engie asked.

“Oh right, what would she think about that? She needs me.” Spike said.

“Rarity’s using you for free labor, dude.” I said.

“Oh now that’s just bogus. Of course she doesn’t use me for free labor, she cares about me. Just as much as you cared when you locked yourself inside your carriage.” Spike reminded me.

A cutaway shows me locked inside a carriage with the keys on the outside. I had my face on the window, hoping somepony would rescue me. Just then, I finally saw Cherry Fizzy walking by; “Hey, you there! Can you help me get ou- oh don’t you walk away from me, mister!” After a bit, I saw Dizzy Twister walking by. “Hey, dudet? Dudet, hey! Free pizza if you help me out of- oh c’mon, free pizza! Who can say no to that? Oh forget you!” Right after, Meadow Song walked by and looked down at my keys. “Oh good, you’re here! Can you take those keys and unlock these doors for me?” Meadow Song picks up the keys, looks around the parking lot and runs away. “Wha-wha-WHAT?! Those are not yours! You thief! You thief! RAAAAAAAAAH!” I started to spaz out, and I shook the carriage back and forth, and after all the shaking, the carriage gets knocked over to the side. “Sigh. Why did I leave Mareami in the first place?” The cutaway ends.

“So how about we help you train for the games?” Engie recommended.

“Choo-choo!” I said.

“So is that a yes?” Engie asked.

“Did I say yes? No I did not; I said ‘choo-choo’.” I corrected him.

“So ya don’t want us to help?” Engie asked.

“Of course I want you to help! I need somepony to set up targets and such, and couch me.” I said. Just as I figured out what I said, I corrected myself, "I mean coach me, sorry. My system has an automatic spell-check."

"A what now?" Engie asked.

“I can help with the coaching. I coach Twilight with her magic all the time.” Spike said.

“And ah got a lot of targets back at mah place.” Engie said.

“What can I do?” Crystal asked.

“Do what you do best, Crystal! Get us snacks and drinks, and be our towel girl.” I said.

“Towel girl?” Crystal asked.

“Yeah! Sound like fun?” I asked.

“Well…… OF COURSE IT DOES! I love being the towel girl!” Crystal said excitedly. “Almost as much as I love being that one hipster girl that everypony hits on at Comic-Con.”

“Wait, you’re hipster? Ya don’t look hipster.” Engie said.

“Looks ain’t everything, my dear Engineer. Black shirts don’t really suit me, and I always lose my glasses.” Crystal said.

As time went by, Crystal, Engie, Spike and I went over to the fields next to Sweet Apple Acres where the contest is taking place. I’m currently wearing a headband, and a shirt that says: ‘Hug here for Pony Cheer!’ I started jogging in place with my eyes closed and sweat rolling down my face. Come to think of it, I think sweat is what caused a hay-load of pimples on my forehead when I was younger. Anyways, Spike was standing next to me with a stop-watch, a cap, and a whistle; Engie was up ahead getting the targets ready, and Crystal was holding a bottle of water for me. I took a drink of the water and got myself ready.

“Hmm, this water tastes funny, Crystal.” I commented.

“This isn’t water, this is a bottle of your sweat. Your water is still over there on the bench.” Crystal pointed out.

"Alright Flare, you ready?" Spike asked.

"Ready as spaghetti; with my famous secret sauce on it! Mischievous face!" I said.

"Alright! Show me what ya got!" Spike held up the stop-watch and was just about to start it. "Annnnnnnnnnd..... GO!"

As he started the stop-watch, I went into my satchel and took out some stuff and showed them to Spike. "Alright, I have 40 bits, some gum- I'll take that now." I took the gum and started chewing it, and blew a bubble. "I also have some business cards for my business, my Ipod, my phone, and a picture of Fluttershy she gave to me one day. She says I should always have this picture with me, it gives me good luck.” I said. "She's such a good mom!"

“Alright, now that you have your stuff out of your way, it’s about time you showed off your magic.” Spike said.

I started to stretch out, I spat out my gum, then stretched some more, and I stretched in so many different ways, some that you wouldn’t expect a pony to do. My hooves are pretty flexible. After I stretched out for a while, Spike looks at his watch and asks, "Are you quite finished?"

"NO! I'm just about to get started!” I yelled.

“I believe you stretched yourself out good enough. So how about showing off your magic?” Spike asked.

“I got some training montage music that’ll come in handy!” Crystal said.

“Play it!” I said. "As long as it's not that death metal music again, or as I call it: music sang by demons."

The training montage music starts playing in the background; I started running around the race track with Spike on my back yelling with a megaphone demanding that I go faster. I then did push ups, pull ups, sit ups, and jumping jacks with Spike blowing his whistle and writing on his clipboard. To be honest, I’m terrible at push ups, pull ups, and sits up; alright at jumping jacks though. I then started to lift some little weights, punching and bucking a punching bag, I then started lifting one of those bigger weights along with Crystal watching over me, but Crystal sees a butterfly flying by and she starts chasing it and with her gone, I ran into an accident with the weights because the whole bar just slammed down onto my neck and I started to choke and moving my hooves around. A lesson to you all: don’t EVER lift weights unless someone’s there with you, otherwise you’ll choke to death.

After the montage I took a deep breath and laid on the ground. “C’mon, Flare! You can’t be tired yet!” Crystal said.

“I STRONGLY DISLIKE exercising!” I said. “Why did we do all that?”

“We gotta get ready for the games of course.” Spike reminded me.

“Yeah, but isn’t the Unicorn Games mostly on magic and not physical movement?” I asked.

“There’s always an obstacle course at the end of the games, so you’ll need to be ready for that.” Spike said.

“Wait if you hate exercisin’, why do ya have an exercise room at your house?” Engie asked.

“I just have it there to show off in case the ladies ever come over.” I said.

"Oh. So you lied then." Crystal said with an aggravated tone.

“So Flare how about showing us your unique spells?” Engie asked.

“You make it sound like these spells are uncommon, and I’ll have you know, only one of them is.” I said.

“FLARE spell, GO!” Spike yelled.

"M-I-T-E-L-Q-V-X.... wait what?" I asked.

Didn’t really expect Spike to yell that so loudly. Anyways, my first spell was shooting a flare into the sky and it lands at the other side of the arena. Spike takes out a tape measure to measure his distance and he gives me a thumbs up, and I let out a squee as I smiled, and then Spike writes on his clipboard again. After that, I activated my hornsaber and started cutting up fruits and veggies, and made up a salad. Spike stops his stopwatch, looks at it, and nods his head to me, and then Spike writes on his clipboard again. Now for the next exercise, I looked deeply at a building with a sign that says; ‘Ready for demolition.’ Seeing that building over there, since it was gonna get destroyed anyway, I knew what to do, so I activated my horn and shot a giant laser through the building and it gets demolished. I smiled and danced around along with Crystal who gave me some water, and when Engie started dancing, I stopped because I don’t dance with stallions. Right after, Spike writes on his clipboard again. Now if we take a look at what Spike was writing on his clipboard, all this time he was drawing a picture of Rarity and himself getting married.

The last exercise as you can see is sort of a reference to something particular. I activated my horn while I was standing on my front hooves upside down, and used my telekinesis spell next. Of course I have telekinesis! All unicorns have that! That’s like our first plasmid! Get the reference? Well that wasn’t really the reference I was talking about before. I started to grunt and sweat real hard; then the objects around me suddenly started to float, including Spike, and one of Engie’s machines that he was working on while I was training, but he got a little upset to see it floating in the middle of his work.

“Yeeeeees, feel the magic flow around you.” Crystal whispered. “Concentrate, concentrate. Let go of all thoughts, and keep your mind at peace.”

“You know, I can’t really concentrate with you whispering at me.” I said. “It’s no wonder Luke failed Yoda’s training; Yoda kept telling him to concentrate and all that. His talking really doesn’t help, and neither does yours, no offense.”

“How was that offensive?” Crystal asked. Just then I started to lose my balance and fell on the ground.

“Ya alright, partner?” Engie asked as he helped me up.

“The side of my neck hurts; I could use a massage.” I said.

“Shall we take you to the spa?” Engie asked.

“I dunno, it’s normally awkward when I’m around that spa.” I said.

A cutaway shows me walking into the Ponyville spa; I walked up to the front desk over to Aloe. “Ah, Mr. Gun! Welcome back!”

“How you doing, Lotus? My neck’s been aching and I could use a massage.” I said.

“I’m not Lotus, I’m Aloe.” Aloe corrected me.

“Oh… well, umm…. Wow.” I blushed.

“It’s no big deal. Nopony can tell us apart sometimes.” Aloe said.

“I know, but I’ve been coming here for weeks now, I should be able to tell you apart by now.” I said.

“It’s ok, now please take a seat and we’ll be ready for you in about 10 minutes.” Aloe said as she gave me a clipboard with a spa application on it. I grabbed the clipboard and I sat next to Flitter in the waiting room to fill my application.

“Hey, Cloudchaser! Nothing like a nice relaxing day in the spa, huh?” I asked her.

“I’m Flitter.” She corrected me.

“I can never tell twins apart. Don’t you, Lucky Clover?” I asked Meadow Song.

“C’mon, Lucky Clover and I don’t even look the same in any way!” Meadow Song complained. The cutaway ends.

"Wow! I have to say Flare, you have great talents with your horn. You can't lose with that shoop da whoop on your side!" Spike said.

"Thanks, brah. I'm going to win this thing! Like it or not! So what's the prize?" I asked.

"The prize is a trophy and a day with the princess in Canterlot.” Spike said.

"Princess Luna?” I asked.

"No, Celestia.” Spike said.

"Sad face. I wanted to spend time with Princess Luna. Why does Celestia have to keep taking all the credit for everything? They never show Luna anymore. So what she wanted to let the moon stay up forever? It sucks for the other side of the world; they'd be getting sun forever, so it really doesn't matter. And besides it's all in the past, let Luna have some credit. Don't let Celestia take all the credit!" I complained.

“Ah don’t really know the princesses personally that much, but either or, a day with a princess is a big thing, partner.” Engie said.

“Why don’t you like Celestia?” Crystal asked.

“I didn’t say I didn’t like her, I appreciate all she does; I don't believe in that Trollestia nonsense that other's come up with; it’s just, Luna doesn’t go out that much, and I’m thinking she’s holding her back.” I said.

“Well, you’ll find out once you win that competition!” Crystal said.

“You’re right, Crystal!” I said.

“I didn’t know my name was Right Crystal.” Crystal thought. Just as we pass Carousel Boutique, Spike stops us for a sec.

"Oh, I'm going to go see what Rarity is up to, alright?" Spike informed us.

"No problemo brah! I'll see you tomorrow! If you need me, I’m going to be making a list of twins in this town so I don’t get confused.” I said.

“If yer makin’ a list, you should check it twice.” Engie suggested.

“Good idea!” I said. Spike separates from us, and runs inside Carousel Boutique so he can see ‘beautiful future bride’. Lawl!

"Bye Flare, I'm rooting for you tomorrow! You're gonna win!" Spike cried out from the boutique as the three of us already walked ahead, so Spike walks inside Rarity's shop and sees Rarity making an outfit for her cat Opalescence.

"Oh Opal! Don’t you look divine! It'll be perfect for when I win the unicorn games! Don't you think it's fantastic?" Rarity asked Opal. Opal rolls her eyes as the sweater Rarity made for her felt kinda tight for her. “C’mon, Opal, if we’re going to be visiting Canterlot after I win the games, you’ll need to look the part.”

"Hi, Rarity!" Spike said in a seductive voice.

"Spikey-wikey! Just the dragon I wanted to see! Come, I made a new fabulous outfit for the Unicorn Games, and I need your opinion on it.” Rarity requested.

"Sure! I bet you'll look great!" Spike said.

"Oh Spike you're such a sweetie!" Rarity said as she walks into her changing room to put on the new dress for the games. As Rarity gets changed, Spike looks over at Opal and sees the outfit Rarity made for her.

“You look good in that, Opal! You look like Brittney Spears in that.” Spike said. Opal glares at Spike and walks away. “Wow, I tell a cat they look like a celebrity and they get offended.”

“Oh Spikey dear!” Rarity called out as she trots out of her changing room, and shows Spike her outfit which was a sparkly dark blue dress with magic wands on it. Just as Rarity poses her outfit for Spike, the background turned pink with butterflies on it.

"Wow, Rarity! You look wonderful!" Spike said impressively.

“Do you like my background changing spell as well? The pink one with the butterflies is my absolute favorite.” Rarity said.

“Mine too.” Spike lied. “Oh shut up, narrator!” You’re not supposed to hear me, I’m the narrator. Only Pinkie is supposed to hear me. “Whatever.” he shrugged.

“I’m so glad you like it! It would be an honor if you helped me train for the Unicorn Games, dear.” Rarity requested.

"Of course!" Spike said.

“Good! Now for the first thing I’d like to practice on is giving you a fabulous coach outfit!” Rarity activates her horn and lots of her supplies start floating, and as Rarity uses her magic, she makes another outfit, Spike's size, and once she was done, Spike was wearing an old-style 1700s American outfit. "Oh Spikey, you're adorable!"

"Wow, this is a great outfit, Rarity. I'm rooting for you tomorrow! You're definitely going to win!” Spike said.

"Thank you, dearie! I mean, I don’t want to sound like I’m better than any other unicorn. I’m sure there are others just as fabulous as me. Twilight for example.” Rarity said.

“It’s true, no magic can be as awesome as Twilight’s, but none can be as fabulous and creative as yours, Rarity!” Spike said.

“Spike, you’re such a gem! You’re more of a sweet talker than a cupcake!” Rarity said.

A cutaway shows Rarity visiting Sugarcube Corner. “Hello, Rarity! Can you eat me?” a cupcake asked her.

“No thank you, Mr. Cupcake, maybe later.” Rarity said.

“But I wanna die!” the cupcake said cheerfully. The cutaway ends.

“Now, it's getting late, I suppose Twilight would want you back home, but thank you so much for helping me train for the games! I’m surely going to win for sure! Here, take this for your troubles.” Rarity uses her magic to grab a gem out of her trunk and gives it to Spike.

"And this the third reason why I love Rarity; number 1: the gems, number 2: her mane, number 3: the fact that she loves Caddyshack like I do!” Spike explained. “Anyways, it was great seeing you, Rarity! Glad I was here to help!”

"I'll see you tomorrow! Root for me!" Rarity said as she waved to Spike as he walked out of the boutique. Rarity then observes Opal and said, “Oh, my dear Opal, seeing you in that sweater, you remind me of Brittney Spears.” Opal sighs, walks over to the kitchen, jumps onto the counter, takes off her sweater and throws it down the sink drain, and then turns on the garbage disposal, shredding the sweater into a million pieces. See? That’s why no one should wear tight sweaters; otherwise, you’ll look like Brittney Spears.

Anyways, Spike walks back to the library and heads inside, only to find Twilight using her magic to organize her books around her library, and do her chores at the same time. "Hey, Twilight!" Spike said.

"Oh hey, Spike!" Twilight said.

"Wow! You're doing everything around your house yourself.... at the same time?" Spike asked in shock.

"Well I don't need to brag, but yes. I hope you don’t mind me practicing my magic to do your chores for you.” Twilight said.

“It’s no big deal; I can finally catch up on my fanfic.” Spike said.

A cutaway shows Lyra along with Bulk Biceps drawing their human OCs on a couple of pieces of paper, and Lyra shows her’s first; “Check this out, Bulk, it’s my human OC; she’s an average woman that loves to be athletic, and she works at a Hershey’s Chocolate Factory because of her love of chocolate.”

“Here’s mine!” Bulk Biceps shows Lyra his human OC which was a steroid-junkie ballerina princess.

“He seems OP, dude.” Lyra commented. The cutaway ends.

"Wow! I must say after doing this, and doing what you did when Trixie was in town, you're really the most talented unicorn in Ponyville! I'm rooting for you tomorrow! You're gonna win!" Spike said.

"Thank you Spike! I’m going to definitely try my best to win, for sure, I mean, if I do it's great, but others winning would be just as good too! As long as you're rooting for me, I'll be alright!" Twilight continued working on her magic, and suddenly, she spots the outfit Rarity gave him. “Spike, where’d you get that outfit?”

“Oh this? I… umm….” Spike thought if he was at Rarity’s, Twilight might've thought he was just helping her win the Unicorn Games instead of Twilight; same goes for him helping me out a couple hours ago and Spike didn’t want Twilight to feel betrayed.

“I bought it at Walmart.” Spike lied.

"Walmart?” Twilight asked.

“Yes, Walmart.” Spike said.

“But the nearest Walmart to here is in Baltimare. You went all the way to Baltimare just to buy that outfit?” Twilight asked.

“What? You think I can find this kind of clothing here in Ponyville? I like Walmart, even though it’s driving Kmart and most grocery stores like Win-Dixie out of business.” Spike said.

“Right; so you want to help me out in practicing for the games?” Twilight asked.

“Sure! Not that you’ll need it; you’re going to be winning the games regardless, just like last year!” Spike said.

“Spike, you’re such a sweet-talker, just like that cupcake I met at Sugarcube Corner.” Twilight said.

Another cutaway takes place with Twilight visiting Sugarcube Corner. “Boy, I’m stuffed!” she said.

“Got room for a cupcake?” a cupcake asked.

“No thanks, I can’t eat another bite.” Twilight said.

“Why won’t you let me die?” the cupcake asked cheerfully. The cutaway ends.

So for the rest of the night, Spike and Twilight were practicing for the Unicorn Games together. Spike did pass out in the middle of the night, but they continued in the morning. Twilight practiced as much spells as she could for the games, or at least the ones that she thinks would interest other ponies; for example, the spell she used to bring her books to life in her library, and the spell did half-work; even though Twilight wanted the books to walk themselves onto the shelves, they just tried killing eachother, which forced Twilight to stop the spell. After that, she tried her ignore spell on Spike so he would stop eating the gems that were sitting in front of him, and even though it worked, Spike started drooling when he looked at Twilight. I guess it’s a good thing Spike likes to eat gems, it stops him from eating ponies.

Some other spells that Twilight used to practice with also include turning an inanimate object edible, make an object play polka music (foreshadow for future chapters, wink wink), her teleport spell of course, a spell that turns raw sewage water into fresh drinkable spring water, but when it was time to test out if that spell worked, neither Spike nor Twilight volunteered to drink it regardless, so they tried it on a random pony outside, like what those ponies do on those Febreeze commercials, and finally my favorite: a spell that turns mud into oatmeal. I know, Pinkie, it is crazy!

“Twilight, you’re a natural! You’re going to totally own that competition!” Spike said.

“C’mon, Spike, I wouldn’t say ‘own’, but I have the feeling you might be right.” Twilight said.

Just then, there was a knock on the door of the library. “It’s opened!” Twilight called out. The door slid opened, and on the other side of it was Rarity.

"Oh, it really is open." Spike said.

"Why wouldn't it be?" Twilight asked.

"Just a little experience that happened this morning." Spike said.

“Spike, good you’re here! I need some further assistance in practicing for the games, darling.” Rarity requested.

“Wait, hold on a second, Spike’s training with me right now.” Twilight corrected her.

“Well, I never!” Rarity said.

“Spike what is this about?” Twilight asked.

“I’m…. practicing with both of you for the Unicorn Games, so what?” Spike asked.

“So what? SO WHAT?!” Twilight yelled.

“Darling, it’s either me, or her!” Rarity said.

“Don’t make me choose!” Spike freaked out.

“You have to choose, Spike, because if you don’t, I’ll never have you help me out again.” Twilight promised.

“YOU WOULDN’T!” Spike yelled.

“I would never date if you don’t train with me, darling.” Rarity promised.

“Choose! Choose! Choose! Choose! Choose! Choose! Choose!” Twilight and Rarity both chanted at Spike. Spike started getting very uncomfortable and tried to back away from the two mares who were trying to get Spike to resist. Spike kept backing away until he walks upstairs towards the bedding areas.

Suddenly, Spike’s train set started riding towards him, and the toy train starts blowing it’s whistle, but it’s whistle makes it sound like it’s saying, “Choose, choose!” Spike then trips and falls on Twilight’s bed as Twilight and Rarity continued to chant very closely at his face.

"Heeeeeeey laaaaadies!" I said as I was standing on my hind legs, posing, and giving them a mischievous look on the staircase. "Awwww! Playing around in bed together? How cute is that! Lion face."

"What is it, Flare?" Twilight asked.

"I heard your conversation. Looks like we really have some competition!" I said.

"You're competing in the Unicorn Games too?" Rarity asked.

"Roger that! Mischievous face! And I got my bro Spike here to root for me in the contest, and he’s been training real hard with me! Right Spike ol bro?" I asked.

"Well.... uhhhh...." Spike froze.

"Spike? You promised Flare you were rooting for him? WHO ELSE ARE YOU ROOTING FOR?!” Rarity yelled.

"Spike, you said it yourself. You're rooting for me, remember?" Twilight asked.

"I don't think so Twilight, he said he was going to root for me first!" I corrected her.

"Spike, I'm your best friend! You've known me all your life!" Twilight said to Spike as she smiled at him.

"Spikey wikey, don't listen to them! I know you want to root for me!" Rarity said Spike as she fluttered her eyes at him.

"C'mon Spike, we're bros! Bros for life, brah! You wouldn't want to let a bro down! That's breaking the bro code!" I said.

"I got a big juicy Ruby, just for you!" Twilight promised.

"Non-sense, I'll give you my entire collection of rubies!" Rarity promised.

"Rubies don't even last long! I'll give you my spare XBUCKS 360; it'll last longer. Well, unless it has the red ring.” I promised.

"If you root for me, you don't have to do any chores for a month! I'll serve you! Anything your heart desires!" Twilight promised.

"I'll take you on a romantic vacation! You and me!" Rarity promised.

"I'll take you to ComicCon with me! You'll love it!" I promised.

“CHOOSE! CHOOSE! CHOOSE!” the three of us started chanting again. Spike began to scream on the top of his lungs until he woke up on his bed, escaping the nightmare. Spike nervously looked over at Twilight who was still sleeping in her bed and he checked the clock; it was 4 AM.

Spike sighed and said to himself, “I can’t choose. All three of you mean a lot to me, and I won’t let that spoil our friendship. It’s all or nothing! As Celestia as my witness, I’ll make sure none of my friends suffer with broken hearts because of my stubbornness!”

“I’ll tell you what’s stubborn: the cleanliness of bathrooms!” a skinny Vaudeville stallion said to Spike as he started to sing and dance. “Oh I had to take a poo today, but then I went and took a seat; oh the seat is all wet, and I don’t know where the toilet papers went, why doesn’t anypony clean those thiiiiiings!” as the Vaudeville stallion stopped singing, Spike just looked at him awkwardly. “Play me off, Johnny.” The stallion whispered to another fat Vaudeville stallion who played Galloping Gertie by Sam Fonteyn on his piano.

“Aren’t you two supposed to be dead?” Spike asked.

“After the afterlife, you become a pony.” The skinny stallion said.

“Ah, well I bet a lot of people are going to be pleased to hear that.” Spike nodded. Friendship is Epic is not responsible for any sudden deaths because of the lies this story makes.

The next day came, and it was time for the Unicorn Games. Everypony in town was at the bleachers cheering on, and the contestants on the field were getting ready for the games to begin. Pinkie Pie had been hopping around the bleachers, selling her sweets to the audience. “Cupcakes! Get your cupcakes here! Fresh from the oven! We got chocolate cupcakes, vanilla cupcakes, strawberry cupcakes, blueberry cupcakes, and even cupcake flavored cupcakes!”

“Hello? Yeah I’d like a cupcake please!” Meadow Song yelled out at Pinkie.

“Good call! Cupcakes are going to be the best thing I’m selling today!” Pinkie said.

“Really? You’re selling something else?” Meadow asked.

“Of course not, silly! How can I hold anything else in this tray? Duh!” Pinkie said.

“Ooooook, I guess I’ll take that cupcake.” Meadow pointed.

“Hurray! I’m going to be slaughtered today!” the high-pitched cupcake cheered.

“On second thought, I think I lost my appetite.” Meadow said with an uncomfortable tone. Meanwhile, over on the field, the unicorns were stretching out and practicing their spells before the contest, including Twilight and I. I was using my hornsaber spell to whack a punching bag with and Twilight uses her magic to make an earthworm read a novel about the history of turnips, but if you look inside the book, he’s actually reading a magazine on earthworm models. Lyra was participating for the games as well, using her magic on a harp, and there was a new brown unicorn wearing blue armor who’s also participating in the games by using his magic to make the water inside of a glass float out without a single drop falling on the ground. Comet Tail was also there; he uses his magic to turn an ordinary daisy into a bowl of beans for his pet skunk. After the skunk eats the beans, it toots a little, and it’s stink affects the rest of the unicorn contestants including Amethyst Star, Lemon Hearts, Minuette, Twinkleshine, Vinyl Scratch, Twilight Sky, and my friend Adventure 'Keith' Blade, which makes them all pass out and unable to participate in the games; afterwords, Comet Tail gets disqualified, which only leaves Twilight, Rarity, Lyra, the brown armored pony, and I as the only contestants left.

“Morning, dearies! Such a gorgeous day, isn’t it?” Rarity asked as she joins up with the rest of us in the field, wearing the dress she made for the contest.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked as I smirked at her.

“Nothing, darling. I was just wishing you all the best of luck!” Rarity said with a positive tone.

“She seems to have a large amount of enthusiasm today; I don’t trust it.” I whispered to Engie suspiciously

“Just ignore her, Flare. It’s unlike a pony to wear a beautiful dress like that during a competition.” Engie whispered back.

“Howdy, unicorns! Ah just wanted to wish y’all good luck for the games.” AppleJack said.

“Thanks, AppleJack, and thanks for letting us use your field as the spot to hold the games.” Twilight said.

”It’s mah pleasure!” AppleJack said. “Y’all ready to play?”

“Just remember, this isn’t a game.” Rainbow Dash said as she flies in.

“Uhh, actually Rainbow, it-“ AppleJack tried to correct Rainbow.

“You all are participating to for one whole day with Princess Celestia herself! Only one of you will be able to win, so keep your guard up, and your eyes pealed, because you’ll never know when somepony’s going to pounce!” Rainbow explained as she jumped behind me.

"AAAH! DON'T DO THAT!" I yelled as Rainbow startled me. "You know I get startled easily!"

“Its okay, Rainbow Dash. I’m not worried one bit!” Twilight said.

“Sounds kinda suspicious to hear you say that, Twilight.” I said with a suspicious tone.

“You up to something, Sparkle?” Crystal asked with the same tone as I.

“There’s really nothing to worry about, it’s only a game.” Twilight said.

“Of course you’re not worried, you’re Princess Celestia’s student! You know magic better than any of us!” Lyra said.

“C’mon, I’m not trying to sound superior or anything.” Twilight said.

“Relax, Twilight, they’re just trying give you lies so you’d go easy on them in the contest, but I know for sure that you will do your best!” Rarity said as she pats Twilight on the back.

“Thanks, Rarity. It’s good to be in a competition with a friend.” Twilight smiled.

“Do I sense an alliance?” Crystal asked.

“Ya better watch it Twilight, because she’s gonna stab you in the back at the last second.” Engie whispered to her.

“Engie!” Twilight yelled.

“Now don’t y’all freak out, alright? Remember, it’s just a game. These games are goin’ to be just nice clean fun. All of our contestants will be winnin’ a prize in the end just for participatin’, so no matter what, y’all will leave as winners!” AppleJack said.

“Thank you, AppleJack. See? There’s nothing to worry about, it’s only a game.” Twilight said as she glares at us.

“Oh snap. That glare ain’t a good sign.” Crystal whispered to me.

“Ah wouldn’t worry too much ‘bout her, ah’m worried ‘bout him.” Engie whispers as he pointed to the brown pony with the blue armor, teal eyes, and blue and green wavy mane. “He seems pretty quiet.”

“He seems shy.” Crystal said.

“Don’t let that fool ya. Remember, Flare, don’t let yer guard down.” Engie informed me.

“Thanks, Engie!” I smiled and nodded.

“Good luck, partner!” Engie said.

“Won’t need it.” I said.

“Now that we’re all calm and ready, let us begin these games!” AppleJack said, but just then, AppleJack gets hit in the head by a Microsoft Pad. “OW! What in tarnation?”

“Yeeaaaaah! That’ll show you, Apples! Microsoft rules!” Bill Gates’ gate yelled as him and his angel statue starts throwing Microsoft technology at her and Big Mac until they run away. “That’s right, you thieves! RUN!”

After a few minutes went by, Fluttershy signaled her birds to start singing as AppleJack was just about to start up the games. "Good morning, everypony, and welcome to the 10th annual Ponyville Unicorn Games!" AppleJack said while speaking on a microphone. "Today seems like a nice day for some unicorn magic, wouldn’chya agree Big Mac?”

“Eeyup!” Big Mac agreed.

“And it looks like our contestants are getting in their positions, and we’re sure going to have a fun party after this!” Pinkie said on the mic.

“Pinkie? You aren’t an announc- nevermind. Ya got that right, Pinks, and as soon as the contestants are in position and are good ‘n ready like Granny Smith’s homemade pies, we’ll be ready to start off the games!” AppleJack said.

"Good luck ladies! You're gonna need it! Winky face.” I said.

"Thank you, but I don't need your luck. I can win this contest with my eyes closed!" Lyra said.

"Oh that can be arranged!” I smirked at her. Twilight felt a little upset, which worried Rarity.

“What’s wrong, Twilight?” Rarity asked.

“You afraid you’re gonna lose?” I teased.

“Limit your teasing, Flare, that’s the next step of your friendship lesson.” Rarity advised me.

“Jeez, these friendship lessons are tough!” I complained.

“I’m feeling a bit troubled, Rarity. Spike hasn’t shown up for the games at all.” Twilight said.

“He might be running a little late, dear. Maybe he had to find something to snack on along the way.” Rarity said.

“I hope you’re right. It isn’t like Spike to just not show up unannounced.” Twilight said.

“I’m really gonna be upset if he doesn’t come. Everypony in town is here, and I’m tired of seeing Spike left out.” I complained.

Rainbow Dash blows her whistle and said, "Alright unicorns, let's show Equestria what you're made of! We're just about to start, so get ready, stay cool, and be awesome! Not as awesome as me, but you know."

"Yeah, tell that to the others!" Lyra teased.

AppleJack starts introducing the contestants. "Our first unicorn is one with love and compassion, she's good with the harp, and has the magic of great understandin’ and love! Please give a big round of applause to Lyra Heartstrings!" The crowd cheers for Lyra as she waves at the other ponies.

Pinkie introduces the next contestant. "Our next contestant knows great magics with anything that's liquid! He’s an exchange pony from a village in the outskirts of Equestria, and has a very silly accent! Give it up for Aquatic Armor!" The crowd cheers for the brown pony in the field.

“Wow, I thought I was the newest pony in town?” I asked excitedly to Aqua.

"Well, I pretty much didn’t have a choice. It got destroyed so long ago.” Aqua said.

"Your village was destroyed? I feel bad, man. I'm so sorry." I said.

"Eh, it's alright. I got over it. It's just me and my sister Wind Racer. It’s pretty lonesome out there, but we do what we can to make sure we’re not bothered.” Aqua said.

"Oh, alright. The names Flare B-T-W.” I said as I held my hoof for him.

"Nice to meet ya. I'm Aquatic Armor." Aqua said, shaking my hoof.

"We should hang sometime. I’m getting kinda tired of hanging with Engie and Crystal all the time.” I teased and chuckled.

Aqua chuckled a bit. “That’s funny.”

"Who said I was joking?" I asked.

AppleJack introduces the next contestant; "Up next is the unicorn that knows the passion for fashion! She knows every little detail, and can be a great distraction for any of the male ponies! Give it up for Rarity!" The crowd cheers for Rarity. Rarity waves and blows everypony kisses.

Pinkie introduces next. "Our next unicorn is the unicorn that knows the magic of friendship! She once saved Ponyville from a Ursa Minor and can preform more magic spells than anypony! Well, anypony I've ever seen that is. Give it up for Ponyville's own Twilight Sparkle!" The crowd cheers. Twilight waves and activates her horn. She uses her magic to take muffins from the snack stand and gives everypony one, and of course Twilight leaves several bits on the stand for seller.

"MUFFINS!" Derpy yelled in excitement as she grabs one for herself, and then she grabs 11 more from the ponies around her, and the ponies she stole the muffins from glare at her.

AppleJack was next to introduce; "And last, but certainly not least: This unicorn knows how to make anypony laugh! He owns the best pizza parlor in Equestria and you'll get a kick outta his magic! Put your hooves together for Crimson Flare Gun!"

As the crowd cheers for me, I stand up on my hind legs and yell; "I'MA FIRIN MAH LAZOR! SHOOP DA WHOOP!" I went back on his fours, places my head down, and a giant laser shoots out of my horn and it hits the snack bar, and food and drinks start falling from the sky, and the audience catches some, and then I bow to the audience. “Beat that, Sparkle!”

“Flare, I didn’t want to destroy the entire snack bar; that was so unnecessary!” Twilight said.

“I’ll pay for the damages, don’t worry. Ooo rhyme! Unnecessary and worry!” I pointed out and chuckled.

"I don't think that even rhy- nevermind." Twilight said with an irritated tone.

“Alrighty then, everypony! Now that we’re all good to go, let us begin the-“ AppleJack gets interrupted from fog that suddenly appears near the edge of the field.

A shadow appears in the fog. "Fillies and gentlecolts!" a voice from the fog started. "Prepare to be amazed by the power of the Great and Powerful Trixie!" The fog clears up and Trixie reveals herself to the crowd.

"What in tarnation?" AppleJack yelled. "Is she suppose to be here? I thought we ran her out of town?"

"I guess she's back in time for the unicorn games. Let's see her get humiliated again!" Rainbow said mischievously.

"Hear this Ponyville! The Great and Powerful Trixie has improved! No more making up stories this time, because the Great and Powerful Trixie will win the Unicorn Games by default" Trixie yelled as confetti pops out from behind her. Trixie twitches as she walks strangely towards the field.

"Well, well, well! The Great and Powerful Trixie! Ready to get out-magiced, again?" Twilight teased.

"Stand aside, worthy opponent!" Trixie said with her hoof out. "The Great and Powerful Trixie will never again be out-magiced, be-because Great and Powerful Trixie...."

"Yawn!" I said. “You bore me sista. Zee zee zee zee."

“Target spotted.” Trixie said to herself as she looked at me. "Well who is this? Another unicorn to humiliate? Well no offense, but not even your pathetic magic can beat the Great and Powerful Trixie;s!"

"Have you even ever seen my magic, Great Annoying Trixie? LAWL LAWL LAWL!" I teased.

“Wow, and you call me annoying.” Trixie said with an irritated tone.

"With my shoop da whoop on my side, nothing can stop the Leet and Hilarious Flare Gun! Duda duh-duh dada! Pony power!" I yelled.

"Don’t you dare steal Trixie’s phrase!” Trixie demanded.

“You shouldn’ve come back, Trixie.” Rainbow warned Trixie as she flew close to her face.

“Indeed, I mean I am a lady, and I don’t mean to use bizarre language, but…. We’re gonna kick your flank right out of the park!” Rarity yelled at her as she and Twilight walk over to their positions so they can start the first competition.

“You will be next, Twilight Sparkle, once I get done with my primary objective, this whole t-t-town will feel Trixie’s wrath!” she yelled.

“Primary objective? What does she mean by that?” Engie asked.

“Don’t know, don’t care. Never met her before, but I wonder what she done before to upset some of these ponies?” I asked.

“Well, whatever she did, I doubt she’ll have a good reputation or odds in winning these games.” Crystal said.

A few minutes later, the first round was about to begin, so AppleJack grabs hold of a microphone and explains the first event. "Fillies and Gentlecolts, time for our first fun event: The Target Range! Each unicorn would have to use their special magic to destroy each target!"

"Wow, AppleJack. Looks like it's going to take alot to break these targets! They look like they're made of wood!" Pinkie said. "Let's see who's the best at destroying the wooden targets! Whoever destroys the target in the most epic way, or at least epic enough to impress Gummy here, wins!" Gummy, Pinkie's alligator, was just standing there on Pinkie's back with an emotionless look on his face.

Rainbow Dash flies up to the sky and blows her whistle, signaling the unicorns to begin. Lyra Heartstrings first uses her harp spell and played it for the target, although the target was still in place. Lyra gets mad and starts playing her harp spell even harder, but nothing happens. Eventually she gets really mad and kicks the target and the target gets knocked down; she then smiles and gives out a squee. Aquatic was next; he used his magic to bring the water from the river nearby and uses it to splash on the target, knocking it over. "I could've done it better myself. Don't you girls, agree?" Gru from Despicable Me who was in the audience asked his three little girls; Margo and Edith nodded, but Agnes, who was on a leash was spazing out in her seat.

"SO MANY FLUFFLY UNICORNS!" Agnes freaked out. "SO FLUFFY I'M GONNA DIE!" Back with the unicorns in the games, Rarity uses her magic to decorate her target. The target does indeed look beautiful, but it was still in place. Twilight uses her power to summon a giant rock, and smashing the target with it. Rarity starts feeling uncomfortable with THAT particular rock around.

"Oh yeah? The great and powerful Trixie can do better than all of you! Watch the power of Trixie to see how true magic works!" Trixie summons a dark cloud and uses lightning bolts that were created by the cloud to destroy the target. "Top that!"

"Affirmative! I'MA CHARGIN' MAH LAZOR!" I yelled as my horn starts glowing, and then my giant laser completely vaporize the target, and the audience seemed pretty impressed. I guess no one seen the Lazor Collection videos on YouTube then.

"Alrighty then! Time to vote on who wins this round! Each of you received a notepad from my Granny Smith. Write down whoever you think that won, and send in your votes." AppleJack explained to the audience.

"Actually, your Granny Smith gave us all a cod." Sassaflash said to AppleJack, holding a big cod in her hooves.

“See? My shoop spell’s the best.” I said.

“Ha! Lasers? Pshaw! No magic can ever beat lightning, especially Trixie’s lighting!” Trixie said as she gets zapped by Rainbow Dash’s personal thunder cloud. “HEY!”

“You said no magic beats lightning.” Rainbow teased as she started laughing and rolling around on her thunder cloud.

"I beg to differ, I really liked what Rarity did to her target." Aqua said.

"Are you kidding? While Flare has that SHOOP DA WHOOP, he's invulnerable!" Lyra said.

“Oh c’mon, dearie, my magic wasn’t half as good as Twilight’s, but did you really have to use that particular rock?” Rarity asked.

“What’s wrong with that rock?” Twilight asked.

“It just… it just gave me flashbacks.” Rarity said.

“Oh, I’m sorry, Rarity.” Twilight said.

"I thought you were good." I said.

“Well, thank you, Flare!” Twilight said.

"But I did better!” I teased as I started laughing. “See what I did there? I made you think I was complimenting you, but… umm…”

“Remember, darling: the teasing.” Rarity reminded me.

“Oh, was that too much?” I asked.

“Indeed it was.” Rarity nodded.

“My bad.” I said.

“It’s ok.” Twilight said.

“What was that all about?” Aqua asked.

“Flare’s learnin’ how to be polite and more friendly to others so he can have more friends.” Engie explained.

“Am I doing good so far, Twilight?” I asked.

“You’re improving, I’ll give you that.” Twilight said.

"And the votes are in! YAY!" Pinkie yelled in excitement. "And the winner is......" just then Pinkie started to laugh.

"What's so funny?" AppleJack asked.

"Looking at paper, it... it.... IT MAKES ME LAUGH!" Pinkie fell back to the ground and started laughing real hard.

"Oooook then.... anyways, our winner is.... FLARE GUN, for his impressive laser-type... spell.... thing." AppleJack said.

"It's called a Shoop Da Whoop, AppleJack!" I corrected her.

"Right... right." AppleJack nodded.

"Oh yeah! Like a boss! LIKE A BOSS! LIKE A BOSS! BOSS BOSS BOSS!" I yelled in excitement as the audience cheered for me. “See? As long as I use my shoop, nothing can stop me!” I was pretty excited to hear my popularity in town going up, but my excitement died down when somepony through a tomato at me.

“OP!” that pony yelled.

“Who said that?! Show yourself!” I yelled.

Trixie then walks over to me and leans close to my face and said; "You might have been lucky this time, but mark my words: this will be your only win!"

"Kay." I said as I took out a pad and wrote down all that Trixie said to me, and then Trixie smacks my notepad away. “Well that wasn’t very nice.”

"You were a loser back in Mareami and you'll always be one! Count on it!" Trixie whispered to me and then walked away.

"I can count! I can count to 1... 2... wait, what?" I asked confusingly. I was quite surprised to hear Trixie say that to me. Why did she say that to me? I mean, I know everypony thought she was a jerk, and I do too right now, but... how did she know I was from Mareami? How did she know I was a.... ahem.... not a winner when I was living there? What's the catch going on here?

After a few minutes went by, it was time for the next event: "Our next event is the Magic of Cookin’!" AppleJack announced. "Our contestants must cook up a great meal! Our judges are Bon Bon, Ditzy Doo, and Berry Punch! After our contestants make their meals, whoever impresses the judges the most will win this round!

“Well, I don’t mean to brag, but I can cook a fine cuisine which may one day be the top meal in Canterlot.” Rarity said.

“Dream on, Rare! I’m a restaurant owner, so I’m pretty much the most experienced cook here.” I said.

“You forget, you have one of your chefs in the contest.” Lyra smirked at me.

“Oooo, I’m not going to do well in this. Spike does all the cooking.” Twilight said. Rainbow then flies up to us and blows her whistle, and all the unicorns started using their magic to cook some meals. Lyra started making a pizza.

"Hey I was going to make that!" I complained to her.

“Hey, Flare, like you said, you got your shoop da whoop by your side; with that you’ll be invulnerable!” Lyra said.

"Okie dokie! IMA FIRIN MAH LAZOR!" I yelled as I then used my spell to destroy all my cooking supplies. "Oops. Well… this is an embarrassing. Can I get some more supplies?” The judges shook their heads at my question. I didn’t get any supplies, so I lost the round. I guess after I was called OP, it kinda hurt my feelings, and I got mad and confused. Well I made my choice, and I’m not going to use that spell anymore in the contest; I made my point, and I’m VERY exhausted right now. I never used that spell three times in one day, I’m lucky to still be breathing, really!

"I guess it's not all the time your shoop da whoop comes in handy, huh?" Twilight asked as she whips up a disgusting looking batch of tacos, Rarity makes a delicious looking cake, and putting figurines of her and a stylish looking pony on top.

“Oh, Trenderhoof, what a dreamy stallion you are.” Rarity said as she fluttered her eyes at the figurines. "You will soon be mine, and then we'll be spending the rest of our lives together! Doing laundry together, cooking, walking around Canterlot wearing fancy clothes and having our heads lean far behind our backs.... those will be the days!" Trixie uses her magic to summon spirits to cook her food for her.

“Is that cheating?” Lyra asked.

“Unfortunately, it’s not. She’s usin' her magic and that’s what the main rule is.” AppleJack explained. And finally, Aqua makes a little ginger-bread village. After that, everypony was done.

"Alright, everypony looks like their done cooking. Now for the judges!" AppleJack said. The judges went over to taste Twilight's tacos first.

"Ew! That's disgusting! I'm not even gonna try this!" Bonnie commented.

“The rules say you have to.” Berry corrected her.

"Look I'm not really good cook. Between the two of us, Spike's the one that makes the meals." Twilight said.

"Aw c'mon Bon Bon, don't be like that! Don't knock it till you tried it!" Berry suggested as she picked up a taco, eats it, then spits it out.

"My turn!" Derpy said as she pushes Bonnie out of the way, takes a taco and eats it. "Hmm! This is delicious!" As she licked her lips, Bonnie and Berry gave Derpy a very disgusted look. They next went over to my destroyed cooking area. They say nothing, and then they walked over to the Aqua's ginger-bread town and tasted it.

“Hey you skipped me!” I complained.

”You have nothing there.” Berry said.

Derpy went over to munch on my destroyed area. “Mmm! Tastes like air!"

"Best thing I had so far, I'll say." Bonnie complimented Aqua’s gingerbread village.

"I agree." Berry said.

"It doesn’t have a taste in it.” Derpy said as she took a taste of Aqua’s village.

"Exactly." Bon Bon and Berry said at the same time as they walked over to Rarity's cake and gave it a taste.

"Hmmm! I wouldn't be surprised if you were going to make the royal wedding cake!" Bonnie complimented

"Aw, the dolls you put on top look so cute!" Berry said.

"Vanilla? Where's the chocolate? This cake lacks chocolate." Derpy said.

Just then, the judges went to check out Trixie's spaghetti that has eyeballs inside. "My fellow judges, I give you the Great and Powerful Trixie's Spaghetti and Eyeballs!" Trixie said.

"Ew! No!" Bonnie said.

"Eyeballs, really?" Berry asked.

"Stop teasing me!" Derpy yelled. And lastly they tasted Lyra's pizza.

"Oh, automatic winner!" Bonnie said.

"But you didn't even taste it yet." Lyra informed her.

"I don't have to taste it to know that it's good." Bonnie smiled.

“Aww that’s so nice, Bonnie, but you’re the judge and it’s your job.” Lyra said.

“I work with you; I pretty much know what it tastes like.” Bonnie reminded her.

Berry was next to give the pizza a taste. "Amazing!” she said impressively. “I got to tell someone about this!" then Berry starts singing and dancing around. "Hey all you ponies, hey all you ponies, hey all you ponies won't you listen to meeeeeee! I just had a pizza, no ordinary pizza, a pizza made by Lyra Heartstrings!" Just then Berry starts giving some of the pizza to the other contestants and audience members. "Hey man, you got to try this pizza. It's no ordinary pizza. It's the tastiest pizza in Equestria!" Then Berry stood on the cooking counters and continued; "AH De ba da ba doo ba da ba de ba da da yeeeeeeeeeaaaaah! Thank you!" Berry bowed as the crowd cheered.

"Looks like we have our winner - Lyra Heartstrings!" AppleJack said as the crowd cheered for her.

“You know, Lyra, I could sue you for using MY recipe.” I reminded her.

“I didn’t use YOUR recipe.” Lyra corrected me.

Trixie got mad and walked close to Lyra's face. "You're messing with the wrong unicorn, sister." she said to her.

“I’m only participating in the contest.” Lyra said.

"Hey leave her alone, Trixie!" Twilight demanded.

"Oh yeah? Who's going to stop me?" Trixie teased.

I growled at Trixie, looking like I was going to attack her. “YOU are messing with the wrong unicorn, sista! Lyra’s my friend, and I don’t want you doing all your mean, meanie…. Umm…..”

“Meanie magical meanie pantsy stuff?” Pinkie asked.

“YES! Exactly what Pinkie said!” I said.

“The meanie magical meanie pants that’s going to be knocked into next week?” Pinkie asked.

“Exactly!” I said.

“The meanie magical meanie pants that’s going to be knocked into next week, and the meanie pants is sized 32?” Pinkie asked.

“YES- wait what?” I asked.

"Very well then, Lyra here is not on my humiliation list, but I know one of you is." Trixie said as she walked and smirked at us and walked away.

“I don’t mean to point hooves, but that unicorn is a real jerk.” Aqua said.

“I met lots of real jerks back in Mareami, brah. Compare her to them.” I said.

“I don’t think I ever met them, mate.” Aqua said.

“And it’s a good thing you don’t, my friend. It’s a good thing you don’t. You know, I thought my life was terrible, but you come from a destroyed village. How did it get destroyed?” I asked.

“It’s a very long story, my village got destroyed by dragons.” Aqua said.

“Umm… that… that’s not a long story.” I corrected him.

“I know, I’ll tell ya the rest another time.” Aqua said. I was thinking about this Aquatic Armor pony until the next contest started; his life seems very interesting to me, I mean, not interesting as in good, interesting as in something I’d like to learn.

Anyways, the next event was a music contest; Lyra was obviously using her harp spell to play a song of the angels which really wooed the audience, Trixie used her magic to create a snake charmer pony which made a bunch of snakes appear in the fields, which scared all of us half to death. Rarity used her magnificent singing voice to woo the audience. Twilight had experience on the piano while she was in Celestia’s school, so she played the pipe organ; I played an accordion, and Aqua played a banjo. Aqua ironically won that round. I mean seriously, a banjo?!

The event after that was a decorating contest, and Rarity won that obviously, no need to go into detail. Alright I’ll go into detail. Twilight made a little figurine out of paperclips, thumb-tacks, popsicle sticks, and a paddle ball without the paddle. Lyra used her harp spell to make Fluttershy’s bird friends to fly together and combine themselves until the shape they made was a replica of a bigger bird, and that’s not all, the birds moved to make it look like the bigger bird shape that made was flapping its wings. That was pretty impressive, but is the harp spell the only spell Lyra knows how to do? Aqua used his magic to make a water sculpture of Starswirl the Bearded, which impressed Twilight big time. Trixie used her magic to gather all the statues around town, and smash them together to create an even bigger statue of Trixie herself. I didn’t know what to make, so I just drew a clown face on Trixie’s statue, and even though it’s considered cheating, the whole town laughed, and you know what? It was so worth it! And finally, Rarity used the tattered cloth from the destroyed snack bar to create a few impressive looking striped dresses. Rarity won the round!

Next came the magic trick contest; Twilight and Trixie tied for that one, since they knew some pretty good magic tricks. Now, it is time for the FINAL ROUND! Pinkie whispered on her microphone, "Alright everypony, time for the final event, and in this event, you must go through this obstacle course, without using magic!”

“Pinkie, why are you whisperin’?” AppleJack asked.

“I can’t talk with my mouth full.” Pinkie said with a mouth full of cupcakes. "But nopony said anything about whispering with your mouth full."

AppleJack rolled her eyes and said, “Now for the obstacle course, first you must balance on the beam and avoid getting knocked over by those hammer thingamajigs going back and forth, because if you get hit by them, you'll fall into a puddle of spoiled apple sauce that SOMEPONY left out of the fridge too long!” She glared at Big Mac and he just stood there,whistling. “Then you must swing from rope to rope and avoid fallin' into the water. If you fall, you'll have to start that part of the course all over again; and lastly, y’all must climb the rock-climbing wall and reach the top and take the flag. Whoever gets the flag first will be our champion!"

"Wow, this looks pretty difficult." Twilight said.

"I agree. I don't want to get water all over my mane.” Rarity said.

"Easy pe-pe-pe-pessy! The Great and Powerful Trixie doesn't need ma-magic to get through this course! She passed through much, much worse.” Trixie said.

"This is going to be possum grade awesome! Parking lot here I come!” I said.

"It's Canterlot, not parking lot.” Lyra corrected me.

"Whatever! I'm still gonna win! Flex! Flex! Flex!" I flexed.

“Good luck, ladies.” Aqua said.

”And guy.” I reminded him.

“Says the pony that screamed like a little girl during the magic trick competition when Trixie turned that carrot into a three-headed dragon.” Aqua reminded me.

“I told you, that was Rarity.” I fibbed.

“I’m only statin’ facts here.” Aqua said.

“Oh where’s Spike when you really need him?” Twilight asked in worry.

"Are you unicorn ready?" Rainbow Dash asked us.

“Ready as spaghetti.” I said.

“Flare speaks for all of us.” Lyra said.

Rainbow blew her whistle and we all ran to the balance beam trying avoiding the rubber things that tried to hit us. Lyra and I got hit a couple of times and fell over, Trixie pushes Rarity and Twilight over, which got them angry.

“AAH! MY MANE!” Rarity cried.

“Did Trixie just push us over on purpose?” Twilight asked.

“Oh it is on!” Rarity said angrily.

“Cheating is never the best solution, Rarity.” Twilight reminded her.

Aqua and Trixie made it over without problems, and they eventually made it to the rope swinging. Aqua was first, but Trixie pushed him out of his own rope and took it. Lyra gets mad, and then pushes Trixie out of the rope swing and she falls into the water and is forced to start over. Lyra, Rarity, Twilight and I finally made rope swing. “Isn’t this fun? I’m having fun!” I said excitedly to the other contestants.

“I’d be havin’ a lot more fun if that blue unicorn wasn’t cheatin’.” Aqua admitted.

“I-D-K what you’re talking about, Aqua. This is more fun than a dwarf is among midgets.” I said.

A cutaway shows three midget ponies along with one dwarf pony inside a grocery market. A midget asks the dwarf, “Can you reach the Alphabits?” he pointed to the Alphabits which is on the shelf right on top of the bottom shelf.

“YES I can.” The dwarf said. The cutaway ends.

“You all are going down! Trixie will be the winner of the Ponyville Uni-uni-unicorn G-g-ga-!” Trixie yelled from behind. "Speech error occurred."

“She’s catching up!” Twilight pointed out as we all started running over to the rock climbing wall and started to climb it. We had a pretty hard time climbing it, and since we can’t use magic and not having fingers doesn’t help; we all slipped a couple of times and fell a couple of rocks, but luckily we didn't fall all the way down to the ground. Trixie and Aqua eventually caught up to us. Luckily back when I was younger, I was able to get away from my bullies by climbing, so I was doing pretty well, and so was Aqua; he was catching up, but I was in the lead. I was almost to the top along with Twilight, Rarity and Lyra behind me. Trixie was getting really upset for being way behind and she lost hope of winning.

"Fine, if I can't win, NOPONY CAN!" she yelled as she shoots a laser beam from her horn at me; Aqua spots the laser and he thought fast by making a water shield to cover me, and I was pretty shocked to see what he did for me.

“Brah, there’s no magic allowed in this contest.” I reminded him.

“No more. I’ve seen too much pain and destruction in my past, and I won’t see another pony fall because of evilness.” Aqua said. At this moment, I thought the Mane Six was teaching me about friendship, but now I see there are others who are teaching me as well. I know magic wasn’t allowed so I levitated Aqua up to my height so we were both tied. “What are ya doin?” he asked.

“We’re winning this together, amigo! You broke a rule for me, I’m breaking a rule for you. Sometimes you have to break the rules for other pony's sakes, and for helping friends out, you’ll always be a winner!”

“I’m proud of you, Flare!” Twilight said from behind. “Now go! Win this thing!” Aqua and I continued to climb up, and we were so close to the top. Trixie started to get angrier.

“Oh no you don’t!” Trixie yelled as she shot another laser over at Lyra, which makes her let go of the rock wall and falls to the ground and lands on her front right hoof. Lyra started screaming in pain.

"LYRA!" Bonnie yelled.

Just before I was in reaching distance of the flag, I heard Lyra’s screaming and I looked down and I saw her, and I saw Trixie laughing evilly. I got so angry, and what Aqua taught me is put to the test. I jumped off the rock climbing wall and landed on the ground with my hooves. "ANGRY FACE!" I yelled. "NOW THAT'S WHERE I DRAW THE LINE!”

“This line?” Crystal asked, showing me a drawing of a line.

“Not now, Crystal! This is personal now!” I said to her as I charged at Trixie, and levitated her and smashed her against the wall. I started yelling in her face, spraying spit on her as I talked; "LISTEN YOU FAKE MAGICIAN: YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST BREAK THE RULES JUST MAKE OTHERS MISERABLE ALONG WITH YOU?! YOU MESSED WITH WRONG UNICORN SISTER! VERY ANGRY FACE! Wow... how many times did I say that?"

Meanwhile, Twilight and Rarity made it to the top and took the flag at the same time. "Looks like we have our winners!" AppleJack yelled. "It's a tie: Rarity and Twilight Sparkle are our champions of this year's Ponyville Unicorn Games!"

"And it looks like they win the free trip with Princess Celestia on a week vacation in Canterlot!" Pinkie added. Twilight and Rarity cheered and danced while hugging eachother, but were unaware of what went on with Trixie and I.

"Well it looks like you lost." Trixie laughed at me. "You see what you did? You think it
was wise to give away your win just to threaten the great and powerful Trixie? You'll never win at anything Flare Gun! One way or another, you'll always be a loser!"

"So? Who cares if I didn't win? Who cares if I didn't win the trip to parking lot?!” I asked.

“Canterlot.” Engie corrected me.

“WHATEVER!” I yelled. “Who cares if I'm not the 10th annual Unicorn Game championship? It's still not right to injure other contestants just because you're a sore loser!” I grabbed Trixie by the cape and said; "Terrible and Sore Loser Trixie, if I EVER catch you in MY town again, hurting other pony's feelings, SO HELP ME WIZARD OF FEELINGS, I'LL MAKE YOU SLEEP WITH THE FISHES!" I threatened her. "I'm going to go fishing, get a big barrel of fish, grab you, and stuff you in the barrel of fish, and lock in there all night long! DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?!"

“You don’t scare me, Crimson! He’ll be coming for you!” Trixie said.

“Who will be coming for me?” I asked as I looked at a strange logo on her cape that showed a black circle with a red ‘S’ on it. “And what’s that logo on your cape?”

Trixie pushes me away and then looks at everypony in Ponyville in the audience with an evil look on her face. "Hear me out Ponyville, you may have won this round, but mark my words, you have NOT seen the last of the Great and Powerful Trixie!" she said as a cloud of smoke appears where she's standing. The cloud disappears revealing Trixie in a little girl's tutu. Everypony in Ponyville laughs at her. Trixie starts tearing up and runs away.

"AND STAY OUT!” Rainbow Dash yelled.

I ran over to Lyra who was lying down on the ground, still in pain.. "Lyra, you alright, sista?” I asked.

"I'm fine, Flare. Just a broken hoof is all." Lyra said.

“A broken hoof? How is that fine?” Engie asked.

"Lyra, I am so sorry Trixie did that to you.” I said.

"It's not your fault, Flare. You did a wonderful job! Trixie is now on the run again, crying! I owe you one, Flare!" Lyra said with a smile.

"Thanks, Lyra!" I said. "Just for that, I'll give you a week paid-vacation! Not including hospital days!"

"Thanks Flare!" Lyra said as a couple of paramedics showed up to take her to the hospital.

Fluttershy flew over to Flare and hugged him. "Wow, Flare! That was very brave of you! Woohoo!" she said very softly.

"Yeah, ah'll say. Trixie looked like she was more humiliated than last time she was here!" AppleJack said.

"You were awesome, Flare! Even though Twilight and Rarity won, you were the winner in my book!" Rainbow said.

“Don’t thank me, thank Aquatic Armor! He’s the one that taught me that lesson.” I said.

“I did?” Aqua asked.

“Yes you did, brah! You broke a game rule to make sure I didn’t get hurt, and I owe you BIG TIME for that.” I said.

“It’s no big deal really. I had nothin’ better to do.” Aqua said.

“What? No friends to hang out with?” I asked.

“Just my sister really.” Aqua said.

“How about you hang out with Engie, Crystal, and I?” I suggested as I placed my hoof around him and smiled.

“Well… sure, why not?” Aqua smiled and said.

“Yay! We have a fourth member of our group!” Crystal cheered.

“Aqua, that is some cool armor! Where’d ya get it?” Engie asked.

“It’s a family heirloom. It’s pretty much the only thing I have left with my family.” Aqua said.

“Praise the Wizards!” I yelled as Twilight and Rarity walked over to me with their trophy. “G-G you two! Great game!" I shook their hooves. "Even though I was so close to winning, I didn't want to see that jerk hurt my friends and get away with it!"

"She might have had us too if it wasn't for you, dear.” Rarity said.

"Don’t thank me, I just got off for Lyra. You two were doing fine. I can't believe I resorted to violence though. I never threatened a pony like that before.” I said.

"I must admit, at times you need to work on that friendship, but you really improved today, Flare.” Twilight said.

“Yeah, I am very impressed!” Spike said, joining with us.

“Spike? Where have you been all day?” Twilight asked.

“I didn’t wanna come. I didn’t want any of you to hate me.” Spike said.

“Hate you? Why would I hate you?” Twilight asked.

“You see, I was training with Flare, you, AND Rarity before the games, but if you found out I was doing that, you would want me to choose.” Spike said. Rarity and Twilight looked at eachother and laughed. “What’s so funny? I don’t get it, did I say a joke? Is my underwear showing? Wait, I don’t have underwear.”

“Spikey, we’d never hate you for training with all three of us, and you don’t have to choose.” Rarity said.

“I don’t?” Spike asked.

“No, silly! You can train with whoever you want!” Twilight said.

“As long as it wasn’t Trixie.” Rainbow whispered.

"Well, the lunch rush is going to be coming soon, and I'm short a chef, so I better get going back to the shop. You two have fun in Canterlot.” I said to Twilight and Rarity.

Rarity and Twilight looked at eachother feeling bad. "You thinking what I'm thinking Rarity?" Twilight asked.

"I agree 100%!" Rarity nodded as she called for me. "Darling, wait!"

“I didn’t go anywhere.” I corrected her.

Rarity rolled her eyes and gave me her and Twilight’s tickets for Canterlot. "Here.... I believe these are for you!"

"Forty-five degree angle mouth face.” I said.

“What?” Twilight asked.

“It’s the colleen slash face; you know, concerned look? Anyways, why are you giving me these?” I asked.

"Cause you earned them." Twilight said.

"No I didn't. You two won, not me." I said.

"Have you ever been to Canterlot before?” Twilight asked.

“Negative.” I said.

“Then here, take a friend with you to Canterlot.” Twilight said.

“I have no idea why you’re giving me all this. All I did was threaten a pony. Is that a friendship lesson? This town confuses me, and I can still see Bill Gates over there throwing old XBUCKS consoles at AppleJack and Big Mac.” I said.

“Flare, to be honest, we didn’t know how much we’d teach you in a short time, so here’s your reward.” Twilight said.

"It would be an honor if you just took the trip to Canterlot. I mean, we've been there before.” Rarity said.

“Wow… I… holy… Wizard… of… Strength. I don’t believe this. I got a crush!” I said.

“Wait, what?” Twilight asked.

“You had a crush on me, I knew it! Nopony is immune from Flare Gun’s charms!” I said with a seductive look. Twilight and Rarity chuckled and shook their heads.

“Oh, Flare.” Twilight said, giving me the ‘oh, you’ face.

“Oh me! That’s right! I’m a winner! This is the Equestrian dream I was looking for! Friends who truly care for me.” I said.

Crystal sniffled and started to cry all over Engie and Aqua. Her tears showered out of her eyes like a waterfall. “I always knew this would be a happy ending.” She said.

"I just wish the princess was here to see us now." Twilight said.

"That can be arranged!" Princess Celestia said as she stood right behind Rarity and Twilight.

"Pur-pur-pur-pur-pur-pur-pur-pur-pur-pur-pur-pur-pur...." I kept studdering but Twilight hit me on the shoulder, hoping that would help. "Princess Coolestia?!"

"Celestia." Twilight corrected me.

"Celestia? Holy Wizard of Hope! Wow, I am so happy face to meet you at last!" I said impressively.

"Likewise!" Celestia said.

“So where’s Luna? She with you?” I asked.

“No, did you want her?” Celestia asked.

“Kinda, yeah.” I nodded.

"Flare, your actions for saving your friends, and standing up for them, won't go unrewarded!" Celestia said.

"Does this mean I get a free keychain?!" I asked very excitedly.

"Uhhhh, no." Celestia said. "I'm giving all four of you a free trip week trip to Canterlot for winning!”

"Pardon me, your highness, but Twilight and Rarity here won, so… that’s two, for all do respect.” Aqua cleared his throat.

“Indeed, Twilight and Rarity DID win the Unicorn Games, but all four of you won over the true meaning of what friendship is about.” Celestia said.

“Ok, I’m lost.” Crystal said.

“Of course, it’s so obvious! Aqua broke a game’s rule to protect me, which taught me to sacrifice my winnings to save the other contestants, which made Rarity and Twilight win, and then they felt Aqua and I deserved the vacation to Canterlot, am I right?” I asked.

“You sure are!” Twilight nodded.

“Good, because my next guess was because Celestia is the ruler and she can do whatever the hay she wants us to do, because hey, she and Luna are the rulers, and we’re supposed to do what they say, not that we give a toot.” I explained. Twilight, Rarity, and Celestia started laughing. “Was that supposed to be a joke?” I asked.

“So Flare, who shall watch the shop while you’re gone and you’re short of an employee?” Spike asked.

“Meh, Pinkie will do it, Flutters can you watch my fish?” I asked her.

“Of course!” she said.

"Thanks, Mama Flutters, but I'll have to program you into the security system then." I said. “But there’s one thing that still puzzles me.”

“And what might that be?” Celestia asked.

“Is Trixie supposed to be a robot?” I asked.

“Definitely!” Pinkie nodded.

“No, she didn’t seem like a robot last time she was here.” Rainbow said.

“Yeah, Trixie’s no robot.” Twilight said.

“How do you know that?” Engie asked.

“Trust me, I know.” Twilight said.

“Alright, so that wasn’t Trixie, that was an impostor.” I said.

“An impostor?” Aqua asked.

“Yes, that means it’s somepony that’s identified as another pony, but they really aren’t.” I explained.

“Uhh, I know what it means.” Aqua corrected me.

"What makes you think she's a robot?" Spike asked.

"Did you see all shuddering, and I heard her say the word 'error'. Only a robot would say that and not make an example of it. Also, when Trixie was crying, I saw her eyes were kinda sparking." I said.

"So.... that wasn't Trixie." Twilight said.

"Yeah, I just said that." I reminded her.

"Well, snap." Crystal said.

"But who programmed her to come here?" Engie asked.

"That logo...." I said to myself.

"What logo?" Spike asked.

“Oh I dunno." I said. "Well, it looks like we’re all good, and as we all take a fall…” I put some sunglasses. “It’s time for a trip!”

Aqua, Twilight, Rarity, and I suddenly started the riding the carriage to Canterlot. "YEEEEEAAAAAH!" I yelled as I played 'We Don't Get Fooled Again' on my Ipod.

Meanwhile, Trixie continued running as far away from Ponyville as possible, with tears still on her eyes, but the tears started shorting out her circuits and then electric bolts shot out of her eyes, and her eyes exploded with smoke coming out of the holes where her eyes used to be. She fell on the ground, and started saying, "Error, error, error. Trixie Model 2.6, deactivating. Primary objective failed. All systems shutting down." As Trixie deactivated, a shadowy figure appeared right behind her. The shadow takes the Trixie bot’s head off and took out her memories and inserted them on his Ipad. The memory contained in that data was all that Trixie saw, including me and I done.

"Well, well, well." The shadow said and snorted. "Crimson Flare Gun moved to Ponyville to live a better life. He seemed to make alot of new friends. Well, I think it'll be time to change that. I'll be keeping my eye on him for the time being. Although, perhaps I should've done better than make a robot replica of the Great and Powerful Trixie. I didn't know she had a bad reputation on these pony folk, but I shall not rest until I bring justice!" The voice said, as he laughs evilly and snorts as he looks at the S logo on Trixie’s cape.

Who is this fella you maybe wondering, well that’s not important, but what is important is that no ponies were actually harmed in the making of this chapter, or cupcakes for that matter.

“Aww man!” the cheery cupcake whined.

Author's Note

This Unicorn Games chapter was changed by a long shot! Even though it's story remained the same, some content has changed. Twilight and Rarity are now more in character, Spike has his own little part of the story, and even though Aqua was introduced in this chapter before, he now has more of a part, since he's going to be one of the main characters in the future chapters. I thought his introduction should be epic.

Wedding Captures

Alright, before I get started with this chapter, allow me to explain a few things to you. First of all: this chapter takes place at the same time the Canterlot Wedding, so if you don’t want the story spoiled for you, reframe from reading this chapter. But then again, we’re going to be meeting a new pony that’s going to be in future chapters so my suggestion: watch Canterlot Wedding first. Second: this entire chapter is going to take place in my video camera’s point of view, like Cloverfield for example. Also, instead of cutaway gags, we’re doing previous recordings that I filmed in the past. So now that we all got everything under control, let’s get this show on the road!

It was one week before the Canterlot Wedding, and I activated my video camera. Spike was playing Skyrim on my XBUCKS 360, and I was watching. “Sup brahs?” I said to my camera. “My name is Flare Gun, and I’m the F to the L to the A-R-E Gun, are we ready to have some fun? I’m Flarelicious!”

"Alright, I have the Golden Claw, now what?" Spike asked.

"Alright you just slew those zombies, so now you have to just walk past that corridor." I said.

“Alright.” Spike said as he continued playing.

“Spike’s playing Skyrim, and I wanna record his reaction.” I said to the camera.

“My reaction for what?” Spike asked.

“For… the next boss’s look, yeah.” I lied.

“If you say so.” Spike said as he continued playing. "Alright, I know I'm in low health, so I need...." Spike got interrupted by a trap that was set in the game. "WHOA! WHAT THE HAY?!"

"LAWL! LAWL LAWL LAWL LAWL!” I laughed. "Looks like I forgot to mention about that trap right there!"

"Great! I didn't get to save after I killed that spider; you told me to go on!" Spike yelled angrily at me.

"You'd fall for anything, brah! You even fell for the Ultimate Dragon Tease!” I reminded him.

A previous recording gag shows me recording Spike his reactions on all I say to him. “Food, you know I just couldn’t stop thinking about it.” I said.

“Yeah?” Spike asked.

“Yeah, so I went to the freezer, and I went into the sweet drawer! You know the sweet drawer right?” I asked.

“Yeah, wha-what was in there?” Spike asked.

“Well, I’ll tell ya what’s in there. You know the cookies that have double chocolate? Has chocolate-chocolate in them?” I asked.

“The chocolate-chocolate kind, yeah?” Spike listened.

“Yeah, so, I took that out, and I knew who would like that.” I said.

“Yeah?” Spike started to get excited.

“Me! So I ate it!” I said.

“Awww! Wha-you gotta be kidding me!” Spike whined.

“Nope! Not kidding!” I said.

“And I also noticed there was some ice cream in there! You know, brownies, cakes, Toaster Strudel, well, I ate that too.” I said.

“Awwwwwww-uugggh!” Spike moaned.

“But I went back to the fridge, just a few minutes ago, and I put something together very special, you’re gonna love this one!” I said. “I took some apples…”

“Yeah?” Spike listened.

“I put some caramel on it, and I covered it with-“ I continued.

“Covered it with what?” Spike asked.

“And covered it with sapphire sprinkles!” I said as Spike started getting excited. “And guess what?”

“What?” Spike asked.

“I gave it to Crackle!” I said.

“NOOOOOOOO-oh-oh-ooooooh!” Spike cried. The gag ends.

Just then, Spike started to feel a stranger tinkle in his stomach and he burped up a scroll. "Ah! Looks like Luna finally responded!" I said. "I asked her to try out one of my new Apple Crisp Pizzas that AppleJack suggested I’d make.”

Spike opened the scroll. "Nope, it's not from Luna, but it looks like an invitation." He said.

"Is Pinkie Pie throwing another party?" I asked.

"Okay, why would Pinkie invite us to party from a scroll after I burped it up? Only the princesses can do something like that.” Spike said.

“I knew that." I lied.

"No you didn't." Spike said as he started to read the letter. "Princess Celestia..."

"AAAAH! ALWAYS WITH CELESTIA! Where's Luna?" I interrupted.

Spike gave me a glare as he continued reading. "Princess Celestia cordially
invites you to the wedding of Princess Mi Amore Cadenza and Royal Guard Captain Shining Armor. The wedding is next week. Shining Armor? Hey! That's Twilight's brother!"

"Huh? Twilight's brother is getting married? She didn't mention she had a brother." I said.

“She talks about him all the time, saying he’s her B.B.B.F.F. and all that, saying he was the only one he ever considered as a friend and all that.” Spike explained.

“Uhh, what about you? Weren’t you friends with Twilight?” I asked.

“Of course I was, but nope, I guess I’m not worth mentioning.” Spike complained.

“So B.B.B.F.F., huh? I thought I was the only one around here with the leet speak? Anyways, who’s the invite for?” I asked.

“Well it says it’s for Twilight and the others.” Spike read.

“No invite for me?” I asked.

“Sorry, dude.” Spike said. "Anyways, I'm gonna go tell Twilight this."

"No wait, I actually have an idea for a prank. How about we don't tell them until next week? It'll be so funny to see them in a hurry!” I suggested.

“You sure that’s a good idea?” Spike asked.

“It’ll be funny.” I said.

"Oh yeah that would be hilarious; alright I’m totally gonna do that!” Spike said.

“In the meantime, I’m gonna go around town and test out this video camera. I found it in my personal chest this morning, and I thought, why not use it? It seems that it’s in good shape.” I said.

“You do that. I gotta go find my tux.” Spike said.

“Alright, see ya, brah!” I said as he ran out of my trailer; I then went over into my bedroom to record my fish. “Heeeeey, fishies! Heeeey, fishies! Hey, Darrel! Hey black fish! Hey black fish!” Darrel was really excited to see me, mostly because he’s a happy fish. “Hey, Rainbow! Hey, Dorthey!” Rainbow and Dorthey were just floating there. “Hey, Pearlie!” Pearl was looking at herself through her mirror but she hides the mirror behind her back as soon as I looked at her. “Hey, Yo! Hey, Yo-dawg! Hey homie!” Yoyo was giving me a ‘really?’ face. I know that did sound ridiculous. “Hey, Piddles! Piddles is sleeping!” Yeah, Piddles was laying on the rocks at the bottom, but he started getting annoyed to see me looking at him while he sleeps, so he swam to the back of the tank. “Oh I love these fish! They mean more to me than anything in the world. I’d give my life to make sure they stay safe. That’s pretty much why I brought them with me when I moved to Ponyville. Speaking of Ponyville, how about we check out the town?” I asked the video camera. So I walked over to the front door, opened it, and recorded all that I saw.

”Here it is: Ponyville! A nice peaceful little town it is.” I said to my camera. “What’s weird about this town is that a lot of ponies look the same, like for example: that’s Parasol over there, the yellow pegasus with the purple curled up hair, and over there is Sassaflash, a light blue pegasus with a yellow curled up mane, but beside their colors, they look exactly the same! How do they do that? How, how do they do that? Recolor their coats and manes, change their cutie mark, and you wouldn’t even know the difference between the two. I know lots of other ponies with that mane style, look, there’s Merry May, she’s an earth pony though, but same exact hair style, and there’s Shoeshine with it too. How popular is that mane style anyway?”

“Whatcha got there, Flare?” Crystal asked while standing next to me. I turned the camera over to her so everyone who watches this will know who’s talking.

“Hey, you rhymed! Everypony this is my friend Crystal Iceblast.” I said to the camera.

“Hi, I’m Flare’s friend Crystal Iceblast!” Crystal said to the camera.

“I just said that.” I reminded her.

“I know, and I just reminded the audience in case they forget.” Crystal said.

“Right. So did you hear about the wedding?” I asked her.

“I did!” Crystal said.

“You gonna come?” I asked.

“Absolutely! I got a dress all ready for the occasion!” Crystal said.

“Can’t wait to see it! Hey, you know, I was talking about ponies that have the same exact mane styles, and to bring back that subject, you look a lot like Rainbow Dash.” I said.

“I do?” Crystal asked.

“Yeah you do, except without the rainbow mane, you got light blue and white, and your eyes are green, and your flank tattoo is different.” I said.

“Huh, I never really thought of that before.” Crystal said.

“I hope Engie and Aqua come too. This wedding is going to be leet! I can tell! Probably just as leet as the time I saw Ditzy apple bucking for AppleJack.”

A previous recording shows AppleJack bucking apples out of a tree. “See that there, Flare? Isn’t that the best lookin’ apples y’all have ever seen?” AppleJack asked.

“It is, it is! I’m not a big fan of apples themselves, but they go good in pie, fritter, juice, cider, and sometimes even shape them as fries and dunk them in caramel. I should make something like that!” I said.

“Ah think McDonalds already have that idea, sugarcube.” AppleJack informed.

“Well sue me, McDonalds! I dare you! You’re rich anyway, so you don’t need the money.” I said.

“Hey, can I help buck some apples?” Derpy asked as she joined us.

“Oh, uhh… sure, Ditzy! Knock yourself out.” AppleJack offered as Derpy walking over to the tree and looked at it. “Ah hope ya know what yer doin’.”

“This would make a good demonstration showing that anypony can do it!” I suggested.

“Exactly!” Derpy agreed.

“Well… alright, if ya’re sure.” AppleJack said. Derpy got herself in position, turned around, and bucked the tree with her hind leg, and then pineapples came out of the tree.

“Suddenly, pineapples!” I said.

“HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?!” AppleJack yelled as the previous recording ends.

Next week came, and I turned on my video camera for another test drive.

"Sup brahs? It’s been a week since my last recording. This is Flare Gun again with my flare gun.” I then shot a flare out of my horn, and it makes a hole on one of the bean bag chairs and deflates. "Whoops! Anyways, I'm testing this camera right now to get it ready for the Royal Wedding of Shining Armor and Princess Meh…. Meh…. Umm…. Meh-mora….. meh-mora…. Th-the princess. Shining Armor is the brother of my friend Twilight Sparkle, and I'm playing an important part in the wedding because Princess Luna said I can record the whole thing! This is gonna be possum grade awesome! I haven’t been a part of a wedding since my aunt AK Gun’s second wedding!”

A previous recording shows me recording the second wedding of my aunt AK Gun, with her and her new husband up at the altar, and the priest was saying his random priest words. “Well, this has certainly been the strangest funeral I’ve ever been to.” I commented. The previous recording ends. Hey, didn’t I do this cutaway gag before? Oh right, I did! It was the exact opposite though.

“I heard the Mane Six are having a picnic today! So how about we record everything they do over there as a test!" I said to my camera, and then I began to whisper, "Maybe we can be spies! So let's head over to the park and see what they're up to! Mischievous face!"

So I walked on over to the park, and started up the camera again once I got there. "Ahhhh! What a beautiful day!" I commented as I filmed the beautiful nature around me; "The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, and no hate or anger! I see the Flank Tattoo Crusaders jumping rope, I see Thunderlane playing frisbee with his brother, I see Professor Bill Neigh playing Frisbee with Screw Loose while jumping rope, along with Nurse Sweetheart watching, I see Ditzy Do not knowing what went wrong…” Derpy was jumping on a rain cloud. “I see a squirrel trying to shove an acorn into an ice cap, but it’s splitting in half and the squirrel is falling, and- Oh! There are the Mane Six having their picnic! Time to put my spy / paparazzi skills to the test!” I started to sing the Pink Panther theme song as I snuck over behind the bushes, and a couple of yards where the Mane Six were eating lunch.

“Aaaaand action.” A voice said.

"Ahh! It is gorgeous out! Just gorgeous!" Rarity said.

“Who said that?” I asked myself as I looked over and saw a film set next to the Mane Six. “Oh, it’s DHX. I gotta keep my distance anyway. I tried signing up to be a background pony, but they wouldn’t hire me. What’s up with that?”

Spike then showed up at the scene, and he ran to Twilight. "Twi... light!" Spike was catching his breath after running all the way to the picnic. "...I... have... lemme just..." Spike suddenly burps up a scroll

Spike takes out the letter and gives it to Twilight so she can read it. "Dear Twilight, I am sure you are as excited as I am about the upcoming wedding in Canterlot."

"Oh, he's finally telling them about the wedding. Well the time came anyway!" I whispered as Twilight read the letter to the others. "I will be presiding over the ceremony, but would very much like you and your friends to help with the preparations for this wonderful occasion. Fluttershy, I would like you and your songbird choir to provide the music."

"Wow, that sounds like a great job for Flutters to do! She seems excited!" I whispered. "Oh, and Pinkie is going to be hosting the reception? Leet!" Twilight kept reading the letter as I kept whispering in the background. "I remember my Aunt AK’s reception. My cousin Glock Gun was stuffing his face in cider and started dancing on the tables until he passed out on the 100 bit glass sculpture. It’s pretty funny how ponies would spend that kind of money on ice. I remember one wedding I saw an astronaut without any pants at a monkey wedding I went to.”

"But I don't understand. Who's getting married?" Twilight asked.

"Oh wait! Uh, I was probably supposed to give you this one first." Spike said embarrassingly as he gave her the scroll.

"HA! Classic work, bro! Classic!" I laughed. “Oh speaking of classic, I hope The Who plays at the wedding.

A previous recording shows me along with Fluttershy, giving her a spare ticket I had. “Here you are, Mama Flutters!”

“What’s this?” Fluttershy asked.

“It’s a ticket for The Who concert that’s coming to town, and I thought it would be nice for you to come along with me!” I offered.

“Concert to see who?” Flutters asked.

“Exactly!” I said.

“Exactly?” Flutters asked.

“Yes, we’re going to go to see the Who.” I said.

“Who?” Flutters asked.

“Yeah!” I said.

“What?” Flutters asked.

“No, Who.” I corrected her.

“What’s playing in a concert?” Flutters asked.

“No, Who’s playing in a concert.” I corrected her.

“That’s what I’m asking, who’s playing?” she asked.

“Who!” I said.

“Oh, I’m sorry if I’m getting you aggravated, but I still don’t know what you’re talking about.” She said.

“Ok, it’s quite simple: I’m taking YOU with me to see THE WHO.” I explained.

“The…. What?” she asked.

“The WHO!” I said.

“Please stop yelling, I’m just confused.” She said frighteningly.

“Alright I think I see what the problem is, the band is called the Who.” I said.

“Who?” she asked.

“Yes, that’s what the band is called, Who.” I said.

“Oh that’s what the band is called? The name of the band is Who?” Flutters asked.

“Yes.” I said.

“Ooooooh.” She giggled. “I’m sorry, Flare, I was really confused when you explained that.

“No worries, sista, I’m sure anypony would’ve made that mistake.” I said.

“Anypony’s gonna play too?” Flutters asked.

“No, but- wait, there’s a band called Anypony?” I asked. The previous recording ends.

Twilight continued reading the invite. "My brother?" she yelled.

"Your brother's getting married? Congratulations, Twilight! That's great news!" AppleJack said excitedly.

"Yeah, great news." Twilight said sarcastically. "That I just got from a wedding invitation! Not from my brother, but a piece of paper!"

"You mad, sis?" I commented while I was still hiding behind the bushes.

"Thanks alot, Shining Armor. I mean, really, he couldn't tell me personally?" Just then Twilight started mimicking Shining Armor's voice while holding a sandwich as a puppet. "Hey, Twilight, just thought you should know I'm making a really big decision that changes everything. Oh, nevermind, you'll hear about it when you get the invitation."

"What was that sandvich? Kill them all?! Good idea!” I said in Heavy’s voice.

"Princess Mi Amore Cadenza? Who in the hoof is that?!" Twilight yelled as she snorted like a bull.

"Yep, she's mad!" I said.

"Um, Twilight? Are you okay?" Fluttershy asked.

"Sorry, it's just that Shining Armor and I have always been so close. He's my B-B-B-F-F!" Twilight said sadly. The others looked at eachother confusingly."Big Brother Best Friend Forever?" corrected the others.

"Ohhhh!" the others said.

"I knew that. Spike told me that last week." I said.

"Before I came here and learned the importance of friendship, Shining Armor was the only pony I really accepted as a friend." Twilight said.

“What about Spike? Wasn’t Spike your friend?” I commented. Just then, music started playing in the background and Twilight began to sing.

"Oh great! Now she's gonna sing!" I complained. "That's not even her real voice! That's someone else doing that! RIIIIIIIIP OOOOOOOOF!” But I wasn’t able to record her singing, because I saw Heavy Weapons Guy next to see me and he looked worried.

“Excuse me? I’m looking for a missing sandvich, have you seen it anywhere?” Heavy asked as he gave me a flyer with the picture of the sandwich that Twilight was using as a puppet before.

“No I haven’t.” I lied. “But I’ll let you know if I find anything.”

“Flare Gun is credit to team!” Heavy said as he walked away along with Medic behind him.

“I’m the only thing keeping him from going on a rampage.” Medic whispered to me.

“I am so glad my sister ain’t here, since she’s blue and all, and this is the red team. Anways, I better pack for the trip to Canterlot, so I’ll continue recording when I get on the train. T-T-Y-L.” I said as I stopped recording. I wanted to conserve my camera’s energy so that’s why I stopped recording; besides, I pretty much recorded what I needed to record.

Hours went by, and I turned on my camera again while I was inside a train along with some other Ponyville folk on our way to Canterlot. "Hey again! It's your ol buddy, Flare! We're, uh, on our way to Canterlot for the wedding!"

"Whatcha doin, Flare?" Pinkie asked.

"Oh I'm making a recording! This is gonna be on TV!" I said.

"I'M ON TV?!" Pinkie yelled in excitement.

"No, not really. It's just a recording, it's not on TV yet. It will soon." I explained.

"I'M GONNA BE A STAR!" Pinkie yelled as she started jumping in happiness, and hops back to her train car with her friends. “Hey girls, I’m gonna be on TV!”

"Heh! That Pinkie Pie! She's crazy, but I less then three her!" I said.

“What would we do without her, dude?” Spike asked.

“I-D-K.” I said.

“So Twilight’s going to plan the wedding, AppleJack’s going to cook, Pinkie’s going to host the reception, Rainbow Dash is going to do a sonic rainboom, Rarity’s going to make the dresses, and Fluttershy is going to provide the music. What can I do? I’d like to help.” Spike requested.

“Not sure, but I suppose you can provide the bachelor party for Shining Armor.” I suggested.

“A bachelor party, huh? That sounds pretty cool! I mean I don’t know what a bachelor party is, but it sounds really cool! I better go tell the other girls about it!” Spike said as he ran back to the other train car to tell them.

“I hope he doesn’t make that same mistake I did when I was a colt. I used to think the bachelor party was AFTER the wedding, but then I figured out it was BEFORE.” I said to the camera.

“Howdy, Flare!” Engie said.

“What’s up?” Aqua asked.

“Just testing my camera out again before the wedding tomorrow.” I said.

“Ya got an important part for the weddin’ mate. Recordin’ the whole thing.” Aqua said.

“How lucky are you?” Engie asked.

“Not as lucky as you. You get to help Pinkie set up for the reception, and Aqua, you get to help AppleJack with the ice sculpture.” I said.

“Well, I wouldn’t say that’s a more important part than your’s, but… meh.” Aqua said.

“For those of you who don’t know, these are my friends Red Engineer and Aquatic Armor. Engie here can make you a Circus of Value machine or El Ammo Banito just as fast as you can build something with the U-Invent.” I said.

“Ah wouldn’t be explain’ that usin’ Bioshock references, but tis true!” Engie said.

“And Aqua here a unicorn that knows his way around water. He moved to Ponyville with his sister after his village got destroyed.” I explained.

“Sorry, Flare, but I don’t wanna be reminde ‘bout any of that.” Aqua requested.

“Not a problem, Aquaman!” I said.

“Wait, did he just call you, Aquaman?” Crystal asked.

“Yeah, why?” Aqua asked.

“No way, that’s hilarious!” Crystal said as she started laughing.

“Ah know, that IS!” Engie started laughing along.

“Heh, yeah that is pretty funny. I just got the joke.” I chuckled.

“Yeah, I suppose that was kinda funny.” Aqua said.

“Why aren’t ya laughin’ along, Aquaman?” Engie asked.

“I’m not much of a laugher. Sorry.” Aqua said.

“Well you need to see Pinkie Pie then.” Crystal suggested.

"BEST WEDDING EVER!" Pinkie Pie yelled as the train goes through a tunnel.

"Oooooo it's dark!" I whispered. Just then I heard a screaming in the darkness and the train exits the tunnel.

“What’s with all that screamin’?” Engie asked.

“WHOA!” Aqua panicked as he looked at Crystal who was lying on the floor with a hatchet on her head.

“HOLY WIZARD OF HOPE! CRYSTAL!” I yelled.

“Seriously, why does this have to keep happenin’ on a train?!” Engie yelled.

“Looks like we have a murder mystery on our hooves.” I said.

“BOO!” Crystal yelled as she popped off the floor and startled all of us and she started laughing. “I got you all good! Admit it! I got you all good!”

Engie and I laughed along. “Alright, Crystal. Ya got us.” Engie said.

“That was NOT funny!” Aqua yelled. “Ya almost gave me a heartattack!”

“I have no idea why you three would be scared. This is obviously a gag. Look at the hatchet.” A purple Pegasus stallion with a pink and black Rainbow Dash-like mane with three stars as a cutie mark said as he removed the hatchet from Crystal’s head, and the hatchet had a little round edge missing so it would look like it would fit right on any head and also make it look realistic.

“How do ya know that?” Engie asked.

“I know a lot about these pranks, and I have to say, I’m not that impressed.” The pony said.

“Who asked you anyway?” I asked.

“Nopony, but I just wanted to point out that this is nothing to be afraid about.” The pony said.

“Don’t be a buzzkill, dude.” Crystal said.

“Yeah ya make it sound like these pranks are useless, am I right, Aqua?” Engie asked.

“I really don’t want to pick sides.” Aqua said.

"We're here! We're here!" Pinkie yelled as the train moves towards a force field of some sort.

"Heeeeey! That force field looks bigger than those bubble shields I make!" I complained. When we reached the force field, my camera suddenly shuts off.

After a while, I turned back on the recording while I was standing outside the castle. "Sorry about that brahs! That force field has an EMP protection. I had a hard time putting this hunk o junk back on, but I finally did it! Anyways, welcome to Canterlot! I’ve been here once before, and I have to say, I didn’t like it, these fancy-smancy ponies are jerks.” I said as I started recording around Canterlot. “But regardless, this town sure is nice. It’s no marry ol land of Oz, but it sure is-“ Just then, I saw a laser of some sort shoot towards the sky which affected the force field. “What the Wizard of Feelings was that? Come to think of it, what’s with the force field and all these guards? Is that guard patting-down a pony? I gotta ask around, B-R-B.” I immediately shut off the camera, and then a few minutes went by and I started recording again.

I started climbing one of the towers one of the towers, and went up the stairs in the southern wing where I saw Twilight going up before. "Okay, so I was told that Twilight's brother was using his magic to keep the force field working, and there were a lot of guards because a threat has been made towards Canterlot." I said to the camera. “But they didn’t know who threatened it, nor do I know how they notified Canterlot about it.”

“We had a letter from Princess Celestia come by last week.” A royal guard said as he showed me the letter which had letters that looked like they were cut off from a magazine and glued onto a piece of paper, and it read, ‘We r guna atak lol’.

“Looks like a prank to me.” I said.

“Well, orders are orders, and you can never be too careful.” The guard said.

“And you so happen to have the note with you at this random time telling me this?” I asked.

“I was thinking of that myself.” The guard said.

“You’re a guard, guards don’t think, they follow orders.” I corrected him.

“Hey!” the guard said angrily.

“C’mon, you know it to be true.” I said.

“Yeah, I know.” The guard said sadly.

"I'm not worried though.” I said as I continued walking up the stairs. “As long as I have my shoop da whoop, I'm fine! Oh hey, Twilight! Wuzzap?!”

"I don’t wanna talk about it.” Twilight said with an aggravated tone.

"Aw c'mon, Twilight! Tell me!” I begged.

"Well if you must know, Princess Cadance used to be my foalsitter." Twilight said.

"Oh really? Wow that's really interesting! Is that bad or good?" I asked.

"Well I actually thought she was the greatest foalsitter ever! She was kind, pretty, and caring, and even has a magic that can turn two ponies in love!" Twilight explained.

"So what does that got to do with you being angry face?" I asked.

"Well, I just found Cadance and-" Twilight stopped talking and glared at me. "Will you put that camera away?"

"Nope dot a-v-i!" I said. “I wish I had a hat, that way it would float up, and then my neck stretches out until it reaches it because that would be pretty awesome possum during these circumstances.”

Twilight gave herself a facehoof and sighed. "Well I met Cadance upstairs and she was being a jerk to me! She hardly even knows me it's like!"

"That's upsetting. Maybe she's stressed out about something, or just has short-timer syndrome, maybe she’s old.” I thought.

"She's not even old, she's like in her late 20s, early 30s.” Twilight corrected me.

"Then maybe she's stressed." I said.

"I dunno." Twilight said as she looked down upsettingly. "It's like she never knew me. She thought I was weird or something."

"Maybe it's because you're a bookworm! Lawl lawl lawl lawl lawl!" I teased.

Twilight glared at me again. "I'm gonna see AppleJack now, and please, save memory for wedding."

"But this camera holds 10 Gigabites of memory!" I called out. I then faced the camera towards me and said to it: "I wonder what's Twilight's problem? She seemed upset about something. I wonder what she has against Princess Cadance. I didn't meet her yet, but who am I to judge?" I then stopped the recording.

I started recording again while walking in the castle courtyard. "Alright! It's 3:49 PM and the wedding practice should be on in a few hours! I can't wait to see the wedding! I haven't met Shining Armor, Princess Mi…. something Cadanza, or Princess Cadance yet, but I-" I then suddenly paused as I saw Shining Armor sitting on the bench near a fountain. "Holy Wizard of Hope! It's him! I'm gonna meet him, and with this camera, I’ll be like a paparazzi.” I then walked over to Shining Armor so I can meet him. "Sup brah?"

"What's up?” Shining asked.

"Just testing out the camera before the wedding. Princess Luna said I can sit somewhere near the front so I can record to whole thing, and make DVDs out of them, not to sell though.” I said.

“Nice!” Shining said.

“I’m also a friend of Twilight’s, my name is Flare Gun.” I said.

"Nice to meet you!” Shining said as he held out his hoof. “Any friend of Twilie’s is a friend of mine!”

I shook his hoof. "Likewise! So how do you feel about the wedding?"

"Thrilled!" Shining said excitedly. "It's a once in a life time thing, you know?"

"Yeah! So do you play video games?" I asked.

"Once in a blue moon." Shining said. “I’ve been far too busy lately to play anything. I need to watch over my guards, but it’s been so exhausting so I have to take a break.”

"REALLY?! What games do you play?" I asked.

"Lots of games, I can't really think of them all, but I really like Skyrim!" Shining said. "How long have you known Twilight for?"

"Two months!" I said. "That's under nine thousand!"

"Um, okay." Shining nodded.

"So how's your wife? Is she sweet? Is she pretty? Does she make brownies when she’s depressed.” I asked.

"Yes, yes, and…. What?" Shining asked.

“Is she sweet? Is she pretty?” I asked again.

"She is, although she's been a little stressed out lately. It's probably because of the wedding." Shining said.

"Lawl mares!" I said. "Can't understand them, can you?"

Shining Armor chuckled. "Yeah I agree! You know, you’re alright, Flare Gun!"

"You're not coming on to me, right?" I asked.

"What?" Shining asked confusingly.

"Lawl J-K! I'm messing with you, brah!" I said.

"Alright! Cool! I'm a pony with a great sense of humor! It's been a while since I had a good laugh." Shining said. "I've been busy protecting Canterlot."

"Working hard or hardly working?” I asked.

"Exactly.” Shining nodded. "Hey, is that camera you're gonna use for the wedding?"

"Yeah, I found it in my personal chest at home. Hey, what’s your relationship with Twilight’s dragon Spike?” I asked.

“He’s like a little brother to me, why?” Shining asked.

“Just wondering.” I said.

“Alright.” He said as he then stood up. "Hey listen, I have to head back to my post now, so I'll see you later, Flare!"

"Catch ya later alligator!" I said. “He was nice, he was very nice. It’s a lot coming from a Canterlot pony though, so I ain’t gonna say he’s perfect.” I then stopped recording.

I started recording again when I saw Princess Cadance walking through the castle corridors. "Oh look, it's one of the princesses I’ve never met before! I'm gonna meet her!" I said to the camera as I ran over to her.

"Hey, hey! What's up Princess?" I greeted her.

"Oh.... uhhh.... hi." Cadance said in a weird tone.

"Wow, it's a thrill to finally meet you in person, dudet!" I said.

"Yeah, that's nice. Nice to meet you too." Cadance said as she started to walk away.

"Wait, hang on! I want to talk to you!" I said.

"Make it quick, I'm busy!" Cadance said with an attitude.

“Which one are you? Are you Princess Cadance or Princess Mi… mi….”

“I’m Princess Mi Amore Cadanza.” Cadance said.

“Princess Mi Mora Cadanza?” I asked.

“No Mi A-mora Cadanza, there’s an A there.” Cadance said.

“Mi Amore Cadanza.” I said.

“Good.” Cadance nodded.

“Isn’t there an easier way of saying your name?” I asked.

“There is, but I prefer not to be called it.” She said.

"That’s fine. Hey, I'm a friend of your husband's sister. My name is Flare!" I said.

"Hi, Flare. Listen, I have to-“ Cadance was about to say, but then got interrupted by none other than me.

"Hey, when do you plan on having your kids? What are you gonna name them? Do you want a boy first or a girl first?" I asked.

Cadance gave me an uncomfortable look. "Uhhhh.... I... don't... know."

"Hey, have you should try some of my pizza at my shop in Ponyville! I was told it was the best pizza in Equestria!" I said.

"Uh, yeah.” Cadance said awkwardly. “I really have to-“

"Wait, hold on! You know I'm gonna play a big part in the wedding! I'm gonna record the whole thing for you guys and give you a copy of the video to keep! Relive the moments, sista!” I said.

"Don't call me sista! And please put that thing away!" Cadance demanded.

"You mad sis?” I asked.

"YES I'M MAD!" Cadance yelled. "I have very important stuff to do, and you're just holding me up!"

"I ain't holding you. I ain't even touching you! Lawl! Ex dee! Ex dee! Ex dee!" I teased.

"I'm gonna walk away now.” Cadance said as she starts walking away.

"But wait! I just want to get to know you!" I called out.

"GO AWAY!" Cadance yelled.

"Where? I-D-K where else to go." I said.

"I DON'T KNOW! Go see how your friends are doing, I don't know! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!" Cadance yelled.

"Wow do you have to yell?” I asked.

"OH MY GOSH! CAN'T YOU TAKE A HINT?!" Cadance yelled.

"What's stressing you, sista? Maybe I can help! Smiley face!” I offered.

"STOP CALLING ME SISTA! I DON'T WANT YOUR HELP! I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP! GO AWAY OR I'LL CALL THE GUARDS!" Cadance yelled.

"Alright! Alright! Why so serious, sista?" I asked with an attitude and I walked away from her. Cadance gave a loud sigh and marched away in the opposite direction. "Wow, she's really stressed out right now. But it's nothing, I'm sure she'll feel better soon! Maybe she'll apologize tomorrow."

“You being a pain in the flank isn’t really much help though.” The same purple pony from the train said to me.

“What do you know about it?” I asked.

“My friend, can’t you see the princess is having a hard enough time as it is? If you keep bothering her like that, maybe she won’t allow you to come to the wedding.” The pony explained.

“Look at who’s being a teacher’s pet. Maybe you’re the pony she’s marrying, not Shining Armor.” I said.

“Look, I was only trying to help, if you don’t want my help and you get yourself kicked out of the castle, hey, I tried.” The pony said as he walked away.

“Why can’t some ponies just mind their own businesses?” I asked the camera.

“You should mind your own business too, you know!” the pony added. I then stopped the recording.

Nightfall came, and I turned on his camera again. "Hey everypony! It's 7 PM! I'm meeting up with the others at a smoothie place!”

“Ah hope they have pineapple.” Engie said.

“Suddenly, pineapples!” I said.

“So how was you guy’s day?” I asked.

“It was alright. The princess had an attitude today though; I’m not sure what her problem is.” Aqua said.

“Hey maybe she needs a good trollin’.” Crystal said with a trololo face mask on her face.

“Trust me, Crystal, I tried that. All it did was tick her off.” I said.

“Well, what can ya expect, Flare? Some folks just don’t like to be teased, especially if they’re in a bad mood.” Aqua said.

“Yeah, you’re right, Aquaman.” I said. “Hey did you dudes see that purple pony again today?”

“Which purple pony?” Aqua asked.

“The buzzkill pony from the train.” I said.

“No, why? Did you?” Engie asked.

“I did, and I somehow have the feeling he’s following me around.” I said.

“Seems suspicious, maybe he’s the reason Canterlot is threatened.” Crystal said as she suspiciously moved her eyes back and forth. “Anyways, we should-“ Just then, we all pause and saw Twilight having a meltdown at the smoothie place.

"I am not being possessive, and I am not taking it out on Cadance!" Twilight yelled. "You're all just too caught up in your wedding planning to notice that maybe there shouldn't even BE A WEDDING!" Twilight smashes the table and knocked everypony’s drinks over and she walked away.

The four of us walked over to the table to see what was going down. "What did we miss?" Engie asked.

"Twilight's just havin' a meltdown again." AppleJack said.

"She thinks Princess Cadance is mean, and thinking why we don't listen to her." Pinkie said.

"I, uh, I just don't like seeing Twilight angry. You know? It makes me feel like... it's my fault." Fluttershy said.

"Now, now, Flutters!” Crystal said, patting her on the back. “It's not your fault.”

“But somethin’ seems to be really botherin’ her. Cadance is innocent. She's just under a lot of stress is all. I know that to be sure." Aqua said.

"Well, not all ponies can have the same opinion, can they?" Rarity said.

"Twilight better not crash this wedding!" Rainbow Dash yelled. "Nothing is going to stop me from preforming my show!"

"I wish there was something we can do to help." Fluttershy said.

"And why are you recording this conversation, Flare?" Rarity asked.

"Because I want to.” I said.

“Problem?” Crystal asked with the troll mask on her face.

Pinkie Pie giggled. "Look at that mask! It really suits her doesn't it?"

"Hey, Flare. Um, I was just wondering.... who's watching your fish?" Fluttershy asked.

"Don't worry, I installed an automatic fish feeder. They should be fine!" I said. “Who’s watching over your animals?”

“I got Big Mac to do it.” Flutters said.

“Oh right, he’s not here, is he? Everypony wave hello for Big Mac and Granny Smith!” I said to the others as they all waved to the camera.

“Wish you were here!” Rarity waved.

“Hey, Gummy! Hope you’re watching over the Cake babies well!” Pinkie called out.

“Ya got Gummy to watch over Mr. and Mrs. Cake’s foals?” AppleJack asked.

“Well somepony has to, duh!” Pinkie said.

"Well, c'mon, we have practice to go to!" AppleJack said.

“You go ahead, we’ll catch up in a bit.” I said.

“Yeah, we still need some smoothies.” Engie said.

“Twilight owes me a smoothie. Look what she did to mine.” Rainbow pointed to one of the smoothies that was spilled on the table.

"Right, right! Cut!" I said as I shut off my camera, since the battery was getting low anyway.

After a while went by, I turned on the camera again while walking inside the castle corridors. "Hey, sup brahs? We’re late for wedding practice, and I want to watch, but I had a big dinner and had to let the dogs out!” I said to my camera. “Aqua and Crystal were tired, so it’s just Engie and I. So anyways, I'm heading toward-." I paused to see Cadance running by, crying. "Whoa, sista! What's wrong?" Cadance just kept running. What happened? OH! Maybe it's the part of the wedding when husband dumps her after his ex-marefriend bursts into the wedding, saying she still loves him!”

“Oh ah have to see this!" Engie said. We jogged up to the door and we saw Shining Armor and the others walking out.

"What happened? Did I miss the dumping?” I asked.

"Twilight was being over-protective and it hurt my wife's feelings!" Shining said in an angry tone.

"She keeps telling Cadance stuff that wasn't true, and it really affected her! The wedding is tomorrow, and this is gonna be a disaster if Twilight shows up to the wedding!" Rainbow said.

“Is that how the Element of Honesty is supposed to talk?” I asked.

“I’m loyalty.” Rainbow corrected me.

"Okay at first I thought she was just mad, but she really doesn't like Cadance anymore, does she?" I asked.

"Speak for yourself!" AppleJack said.

“So are we talking about Mi Amora Cadanza, or Cadance?” I asked.

“What?” AppleJack asked.

“Which princess are we talking about? Princess Mi Amora Cadanza, or Princess Cadance?” I asked. “Did I get her name right?”

“Princess Mi Amora Cadanza and Cadance are the same pony, Flare.” Rarity corrected me.

“Really? Wow, Engie, plot twist!” I said.

“How is that a plot twist?” Engie asked.

“Since when were they the same pony? How can ponies have two names?” I asked.

“I really don’t want to see Twilight for the rest of the night.” Rainbow said.

"She was being a big meanie, like Gilda!" Pinkie said.

"She was really being a jerk!" Rainbow said.

"Um, she wasn't that bad. I mean.... she was only trying to.... yeah, actually. I don't want to see her either, I mean... if that's okay." Flutters said.

"I can't believe she'd do this though. I mean, I thought she would've been proud." Spike thought.

"Well, let's hope things don't get worse. Ah'm sure Twilight may apologize to Cadance later. Maybe she'll understand. Then we'll forgive her." AppleJack said.

"She better apologize." Shining said. "Because if she doesn't, I'm not letting her come to the wedding."

“Shinin’! That’s yer sister yer talkin’ about!” Engie said.

“Will you two quit jokin’ around? This is serious.” AppleJack said.

“Sorry… I was only trying to cheer you up.” I said.

“Yeah.” Engie nodded.

"It's okay, Flare, Engie." Rarity said. "It's not your fault. We're just in a bad mood right now, and we have no time for jokes. If you want to stay with us, then help us make Cadance better, otherwise maybe you should go." Just then they all started walking through the corridor so they can find Cadance and cheer her up.

"Holy Wizard of Strength." I said to the camera. "This isn't going well. I thought stuff was going to be better, but I guess I was wrong. I-D-K what happened in there, I didn't see.”

“Well, maybe we should just stay outta this one. Looks like the Mane Six got this under control.” Engie suggested.

“You’re right, Engie.” I agreed.

“How about we go look around and see if we can find the castle swimming pool?” Engie suggested.

“Good idea.” I agreed. Just before we started walking, I saw Lyra walking by."Oh hey, Lyra!"

"Oh... hi." Lyra said awkwardly.

"What's up? I haven't seen you at all!" I asked.

"Oh... well, don't worry." Lyra said. "Sorry, dude, but I have to go see Princess Cadance.

"Hey I'm your boss, and I order you to stay here and talk to me!" I demanded.

"Boss? Oh right, boss. Sorry, boss." Lyra said.

"Are you alright, Lyra?" I asked. "You seem to be acting a little strange right now."

"Strange? No, I'm fine, boss! No need to worry about me!" Lyra said.

"Are you sure?” I asked.

"Yes I'm sure, now please boss, Princess Cadance needs her brides maids in the chapel.” Lyra said as she started walking out.

"Oh go ahead! Sorry to bother you. I was J-King anyway before, you didn't have to stay and talk to me.” I said.

“She’s a good employee, isn’t she?” Engie asked.

"She's a great friend, and I'm glad she's going to see Princess Cadance in the chapel after she ran out crying.” I said.

"Wait a second.” Engie said. “Lyra said Cadance was in the chapel, but we just saw Cadance running out of the chapel not two minutes ago.”

“Engie, I’m in no mood for brain teasers. I just wanna turn off this camera, give it a break, head over to the pool for a swim, and then I wanna get some shut eye. I wanna be ready for the wedding tomorrow.”

“Good idea.” Engie nodded.

“Yeah, that is certainly what’s best.” The purple pony from before said as he stood next to us. Engie and I just looked at him, and then we walked away without saying anything, and right after, I shut off my camera for the night.

The next day came and it was time to turn on my video camera again. "Morning everypony! It's a brand new day! Today is the day that the wedding starts!" I said to the camera. "I already have my tux on and the wedding is going to start around noon. How do I look?" I placed the camera down and started posing for the camera. "I look leet! Special thanks to Rarity! She made this tux before she even knew about the wedding! Well, I do look handsome, huh? Well I'm gonna go see what the ladies are up to."

"Flare? Are ya recordin’ again?" Aqua asked.

"Seriously, buddy. Save yer memory for the weddin', huh?" Engie suggested.

"Sigh. I'll finish up with this recording later." I said as I turned off the camera again.

I turned on my camera again while on the way to go down to breakfast. "Wow, sure is a beautiful day again!" I said the camera, but not seen in front of it. "The force field is still online, and no plot has been committed yet. Maybe there won't be any plot. Maybe everypony is just over reacting, like the time somepony replaced my I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter with actual butter.

A previous recording shows me spreading some butter on my toast and I take a bite of it. I then drop my toast in shock and I started studder; “Wh-wha?! B-bu- I can’t believ-“ Just then I ended up in the mental hospital with a stray jacket on me and I was screaming.

“Ah dunno, doctor. It might’ve been actual butter.” Engie said to the doctor. The previous recording ends.

"Flare! Flare!" Bon Bon yelled as she ran over to me.

"Oh hey, Bon Bon! Haven't seen you since the train ride! What's going on?" I asked.

"Flare, I am so confused right now!" she said.

"What's wrong?” I asked.

"It’s Lyra! Lyra's been acting weird lately!” she said.

“She’s always weird.” I reminded her.

“I meant she’s not acting like her usual self. I asked her if she wanted a hand with putting on her makeup since she’s a bridesmaid and all, and she replied with: what’s a hand?” Bonnie said.

“Wow, that doesn’t sound like her at all.” I said.

“I know, and I’m getting a bit worried.” Bonnie said.

"Alright, Bonnie, just clam down.” I instructed her.

”Clam down? What’s clam down?” Bonnie asked.

“Well, if switch the A and the L in the word ‘calm’, it makes ‘clam’.” I said.

“Flare, I really have no time for jokes right now.” Bonnie said.

“Of course not, nopony has been wanting jokes. Everypony’s been acting weird ever since we got here, especially Ditzy.” I said.

A previous recording shows Derpy pushing the rain clouds away from Canterlot for the wedding reception, since it’s gonna take place outside, but one of the rain clouds crashed into a castle window and broke it. “Oooooh, now I know what went wrong!” Derpy nodded. The previous recording ends.

“Anyways, I'll see you at the wedding, capiche?” I asked.

"Thanks for the help, Flare! See ya!" Bonnie said as she walked away. I paused the recording until I went over to the Mane Six’s room which was just down the corridors. The door was already opened a crack, so I decided to peep in with my camera.

"Oh how do I look?" Fluttershy asked.

“You look divine, Fluttershy, just splendid!” Rarity said.

"Ah hope everything goes well for this weddin'!" AppleJack said.

"It's going to be FUN!" Pinkie yelled.

"Today's sonic rainboom will be the best sonic rainboom in the world! Better than the ones from Cloudsdale!" Rainbow yelled in excitement.

“Oh boy, are they getting dressed in there? Are they nude?” I whispered.

“Wait, who’s there?” Fluttershy asked as she looked towards the door. Rainbow flew over to the door and opened it.

“Oh, it’s Flare.” Rainbow said.

“GREAT! Mission has been compromised!” I yelled.

“Were you watching us get dressed?” Rainbow asked.

“I was, but I just got here really.” I said.

“How rude!” Rarity said.

“Uh, beg yer pardon, Rarity, but we don’t normally wear clothes.” AppleJack reminded her.

“Says the pony that always wears one article of clothing.” Rarity said, referring to her hat.

“Anyways, how do I look in this tux? Did I pick the right tie?” I asked.

“You look fabulous, darling!” Rarity said.

“I’ll say!” Pinkie agreed as she stood in front of me with a mustard bottle. “Hey, Flare, you want some mustard?”

“No, thanks, can you get that mustard away from me?” I asked.

“Why? Mustard’s the healthiest condiment of them all!” Pinkie said.

“I don’t wanna get my tux stained.” I said.

“Come on, Flarey! You said you liked mustard!” Pinkie said as she gets closer, but Rarity takes the mustard away from her using her magic.

“Pinkie Pie, please! Flare said he didn’t want to get his tux stained. I’m so sorry, dear.” Rarity said to me.

“It’s cool, having Pinkie Pie around makes me forget there are things wrong with me.” I said.

"Um, Flare? I was just wondering.... do you still have memory in your camera for the wedding? Just asking." Fluttershy asked.

"It holds 10 gigabites of memory, and so far I only used 4.” I said.

"Wow, no wonder you've been recording alot." Rainbow said.

"Sorry about last night though, I was only trying to cheer you up.” I said.

"Don't sweat it. It was just bad timing to be making jokes is all." Rainbow said. "Just save memory for my awesome sonic rainboom! You HAVE to record that!"

"I will, don't worry! So anyways, where’s Twilight?” I asked.

Everypony looked at eachother awkwardly. "We don't know." AppleJack said.

"We haven't seen her since last night." Fluttershy said.

"Did she apologize to Cadance yet?" I asked.

"Not that we know of." Fluttershy said.

"Hm. That's not like her. She usually apologizes. Was she arrested?” I asked.

"Aw c'mon, Twilight just made a mistake, you can't get arrested for something like that!" Rainbow corrected me.

"But none of us heard from Twilight since last night. Remember?" I reminded them.

"Yeah, so we gotta-“ AppleJack said as she gets cut off in mid-sentence.

"LAWL remember ladies?” I teased.

“Friendship lesson, Flare: sometimes jokes get a little old.” AppleJack said.

“It’s one of my phrases.” I said.

“Ah know, but… umm, ah got too much on my mind right now.” AppleJack said.

”I like that phrase; lawl remember Flare?” Pinkie asked.

“That only works if I do it.” I said.

“Anyways, Flare, we have to finish getting ready, so do you mind?” Rarity asked.

“Not at all! I’ll go get some breakfast with Crystal, Engie, and Aqua, and I’ll meet you at the wedding!” I said.

“That reminds me, Aqua didn’t request for a tuxedo for the wedding. Engineer and Crystal did though.” Rarity said.

“Right, so I’ll see you girls later.” I said as I turned off the recording again and walked out.

The time has come! The wedding of Princess Cadance and Shining Armor was just about to begin, so I sat myself around the fourth row to the left along with Engie, Crystal, and Aqua. I tried to position myself in a good seat so I can record the wedding. I turned on the camera again a couple of minutes before the wedding begins. "Sup brahs? The wedding about to start! We’re here in the Canterlot ballroom, and we got the best seat to see the action!” I said to my camera.

“Not really, this big guy in front of me is blocking my view.” Crystal said.

“So how do you three feel about this wedding?” I asked them.

“Feelin’ pretty good, Flare!” Aqua said.

“Yeah for sure! Ah never been to a weddin’ before, let alone a royal weddin’.” Engie said.

“Like all royal weddings though, I bet the princess is thinking when the queen is gonna die.” Crystal said.

“That’s a pretty rude thing to say, Crystal.” The purple pony said as he showed up and sat next to me.

“Will you quit following me around, dude?! It’s creepy!” I said.

“How does he know my name?” Crystal asked.

“Hey, all the other seats are full.” The pony said.

“That’s not true! There are lots of seats right out in the garden. How about you go there, and as far away from here as possible?” I suggested.

“Look, I’m here now, and I’m here to stay. You don’t need to talk to me, you don’t even have to look at me. Just record the action, and pretend I’m not here.” The pony suggested.

“Hmm, alright if you say so.” I said as I looked back at my friends.

“Don’t worry ‘bout him, mate. Just ignore him.” Aqua whispered.

"Alright, well, Royal wedding, take one! And.... action!" I said.

Fluttershy starts composing her birds, and they started playing ‘Here Comes the Bride’. The Cutie Mark Crusaders skip towards the alter, throwing flowers everywhere, and then Princess Cadance starts walking in behind them, but she’s singing.

"Why is the princess singing?” I whispered. "What is this, a Disney movie? This is totally a disney movie!"

"Shhhhh!" Enige shushed me.

"You shush!" I whispered. As Princess Cadance continues singing as she approaches the alter, I filmed her flank and said, "Nice plot, baby!"

"SHHHHHH!" Aqua shushed me.

"You shush!” I whispered.

"Mares and Gentlecolts, we are gathered here today to celebrate the union of Princess Mi Amore Cadenza and Royal Guard Captain Shining Armor." Celestia started. "Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, will you take Shining Armor to be your awfully wedded husband?"

“Say no!” I whispered.

"I do!" Cadance said mischievously.

"Why is it always ‘I do’? You can’t say anything more original?” I whispered.

"SHHHHHH!" Crystal shushes me.

"You shush!” I whispered.

"And Shining Armor, will you take Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, to be your awfully wedded wife?" Celestia asked.

"Why does she have to say the word ‘awfully’, I don’t get the meaning of that?” I whispered.

"SHHHHHHH!" the purple pony shushed me.

"Don’t you get into this; I’ll punch your face. Mind your own business!” I whispered to him.

"I do!" Shining Armor said.

"Princess Cadance and Shining Armor, it is my great pleasure to pronounce you-“ Celestia said as she was interrupted by an unfortunate change of events.

Twilight busted the door right opened and yelled: "STOP!" Everypony gasped.

"Aww sweet! A wedding crasher! Thank you! Thank you, Meghan McCarthy!” I whispered.

"Ugh! Why does she have to be so possessive of her brother?" Cadance complained, but then she started sobbing and said, "Why does she have to ruin my special day?"

"Because it's not your special day! It's mine!" said another Princess Cadance at the door. Everypony gasped again.

"Whoa! It's future Cadance! Probably telling her past self that it's a bad idea to marry Shining Armor!" I assumed.

"What? But how did you escape my bridesmaids?" the Cadance at the alter asked.

Just as the two Cadances were arguing, I zoomed in to a random pony in the crowd. “Wait a second, is that Harry Potter? That dude looks a lot like Harry Potter! Maybe he’s the one who’s gonna save the day in the end. I really like that scarf he’s wearing, but we’re in the middle of spring though. I really like the Harry Potter movies.” Just then, I started humming the Harry Potter theme song to myself. “Nuh-nuh nuh-nuh nuh-nuuuuh nuh-nuh, nuh-nuh-nuhnuhnuh, nuh-nuuuuuh!”

"Hmph. Clever. But you're still too late." The Cadance at the alter said.

"Ah-ah don't understand. How can there be two of 'em?" AppleJack asked.

"She's a changeling!" the Cadance at the door yelled. "She takes the form of somepony you love and gains power by feeding off your love to them!" Everypony gasped a third time.

Suddenly, the Cadance at the alter changed her form into her real self, which looked like a big rotten piece of cheese, and to make things worse: an alicorn. She then laughed and said, "Right you are, Princess, and as queen of the changelings, it is up to me to find food for my subjects. Equestria has more love than any place I've ever encountered. My fellow changelings will be able to devour so much of it that we will gain more power than we have ever dreamed of!"

“Wow, it's just like Chrono Trigger! When the Chancellor's were fake, and they were all Yakra's! This is just like that, and it's like a Disney movie too!" I commented.

"They'll never get the chance!" Cadance yelled. "Shining Armor's protection spell will keep them from ever reaching us!"

Queen Chrysalis chuckled and said, "Oh, I doubt that!" she then turned over to Shining Armor and asked him, "Isn't that right, dear?"

"Mm-hmm." Shining nodded.

Cadance went running over to Shining Armor, but she was stopped by Chrysalis. "Ah, ah, ah. Don't want to go back to the caves, now do you? Ever since I took your place, I've been feeding off Shining Armor's love for you. Every moment he grows weaker and so does his spell. Even now my minions are chipping away at it." Chrysalis said as she laughed evilly. "He may not be my husband, but he is under my total control now!" Twilight and Cadance suddenly gasped. "And I'm sorry to say, unable to perform his duties as captain of the royal guard!"

"Not my Shining Armor!" Cadance cried.

“That sounds like a reference to something, but what?” Crystal whispered.

"Soon, my changeling army will break through. First, we take Canterlot, and then, all of Equestria!" Chrysalis yelled.

“Oh I recognize that reference! First We Take Manehatten.” Crystal said.

"No… you won't!" Celestia said. "You may have made it impossible for Shining Armor to perform his spells, but now that you have so foolishly revealed your true self, I can protect my subjects from you!" Celestia activated her horn, and so did Chrysalis, and their magics connected.

"Wow! Now that was a Harry Potter reference!” Crystal said.

”Hey to make things more ironic, Harry Potter is right there.” I pointed.

“Really?” Crystal turned around to take a look. “I don’t see him.”

“Right over there.” I pointed.

“Oh yeah, I see him!” Crystal said.

“Now this is good! Ah totally did not expect this show to happen!” Engie said as he ate some popcorn.

"Princess Celestia!" Twilight cried as she ran over to her.

“Whoa! What just happened? I didn’t see what happened! Darn, I should’ve recorded that!” I complained.

“Princess Celestia got defeated by the changeling queen.” Aqua whispered.

"Snap oh!" Crystal said surprisingly.

"Ah! Shining Armor's love for you is even stronger than I thought! Consuming him has made me even more powerful than Celestia!" Chrysalis shouted.

“So many plot twists, yet so little time.” Engie whispered.

“Now this Chrysalis character is really OPing.” Aqua whispered. Twilight and her friends started running out of the room stripping their dresses, and running off.

"Did they just strip?" Crystal asked.

"You can run, but you can't hide!" Chrysalis yelled as she laughed.

Just then, we felt a tremor of some sort and from outside, and we saw the force field deactivating, and changelings started invading the city. Everypony in the chapel ran away, except for Celestia who was unconscious, Shining Armor who was just standing there, Cadance, Crystal, Engie, Aqua, Spike, and I.

“Wait, where is everypony going?” I asked.

“They probably don’t think this is show.” Engie said.

“I’m startin’ to think that too.” Aqua said.

“Queen Chrysalis, your raid of terror has come to an end! Stop your changelings at once!” Cadance yelled.

“Now why would I do that? Celestia’s royal guard is totally outnumbered against my children, and YOU or anypony else won’t interfere!” Chrysalis said as she uses her magic to trap Cadance’s hooves inside some sort of sticky stuff, and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t get out.

“Ok, this is so trippy!” Spike yelled from the alter. “First we see two Princess Cadances, Twilight shows up out of nowhere after being missing for so long, one of the princesses turn out to be the queen of the changelings, Princess Celestia gets defeated by the changeling queen, and Princess Luna is nowhere in sight! I cannot begin to say how messed up this is!”

“Yeah, I’m with you, brah. Why didn’t you go with Twilight and the others?” I asked him.

“There’s no way I’m going out there. I’m just going to stand here and stay out of this.” Spike said.

“And let’s keep it that way.” Chrysalis said to him.

"WOW! This is an amazing show!” Crystal said.

"This isn't a show! This is doom! The Queen's changelings are attack all the ponies in Canterlot!" Cadance yelled as a couple of changelings picked up the out-cold Celestia and carrying her up to the ceiling.

"Hey, evil queen? Yeah down here." Engie called out, trying to get her attention.

"What do you want?” Chrysalis asked.

“Engie, don’t.” Aqua whispered.

“No, Aqua, ah have to ask this. How do ya control your powers?” Engie asked.

“Well, I suppose if you were a unicorn, you’d understand. It takes a lot of practice actually.” Chrysalis said.

“Ah, because ah have an old friend that can change his form easily by opening his segregate box.” Engie said.

“And why do you look like cheese?” Crystal asked.

“I dunno, ask the creator of all things.” Chrysalis shrugged.

“This is messed up, why are we still here?” Aqua asked.

“C’mon, this is obviously all part of the act.” I said.

“This is no act.” Chrysalis said.

“C’mon, you defeated Celestia, how is that not an act? Nopony can defeat Celestia.” I said.

“Are you a moron or something? Look on the ceiling. Celestia is passed out, and she’s trapped, what more proof do you want?” Chrysalis asked.

“Flare, she’s right, this isn’t an act.” Aqua said.

“Now hold on, how about your voice?” I asked her.

”What about it?” Chrysalis asked.

“Listen to her, doesn’t she sound like Trixie.” I asked.

“Actually, come to think of it, she does.” Spike said.

“Wait, but we never met Trixie, we met a Trixie BOT.” Engie reminded us.

“No trust me, Engie, I met Trixie once before, and she sounded the same.” Spike said.

“So what are ya saying?” Aqua asked.

”I’m saying that this changeling queen could actually be voiced by Trixie.” I said.

“Well I’m not too sure about that, but the only reason I find this all to be fake is that, how did Cadance know she was a changeling?” Crystal asked.

“Before she captured me, she was one a royal guard that snuck into my room, used her magic to teleport me to the mines below Canterlot, and then I saw her change into me.” Cadance explained.

“Oh my me, can all of you shut up, please?!” Chrysalis asked as she started to become annoyed.

“See? See? She just sounded like Trixie again.” I pointed out.

“Look even if I wanted to be that phony unicorn, I’d be far more clever than her.” Chrysalis said.

“Alright, so who are you all going to dance with at the reception?” I asked my friends.

“My coltfriend had to stay home because he was feeling under the weather.” Crystal said. “So I’m not sure.”

“I’m not much of a dancer.” Aqua said.

“Hey, Aqua that reminds me, why are you wearing your armor to the wedding and not a tux like the rest of us?” I asked.

“I’m not wearing a tux.” Crystal said.

“I always wear my family heirloom, Flare.” Aqua said.

“I had enough of all your chatter! You’re all very annoying!” Chrysalis yelled.

“Noooo, I beg to differ!” I said.

“You’re the worst of them all!” Chrysalis yelled at me. “You never stop talking! You never shut up!”

“Isn’t that the same thing?” I asked.

“That’s it; I had enough, MY CHILDREN! CAPTURE THESE IDIOTS!” Chrysalis yelled as several changelings showed up and surrounded us.

“Is this really necessary?” Aqua asked.

“YOU GUYS, RUN!” Cadance yelled at us.

“I can’t run in these shoes.” Crystal said.

“RUN!” Cadance yelled again.

“Ah think we should listen to her.” Engie said.

“I agree.” Aqua said.

“Seize them!” Chrysalis yelled. The changelings were just about to pounce on us, but then a squad of royal guards come in and start firing their magic at Chrysalis. This distracted Chrysalis and the changelings that surrounded by, which gave us a good chance to defend ourselves against the changelings surrounding us. Engie took out his wrench and started whacking at them, as Crystal who knew karate started attacking them with her bare hooves, Aqua shot out a wave of water out of his horn and squirted those changelings away, and I used my hornsaber to defend myself. “You fools!” Chrysalis yelled.

“Good luck out there!” Cadance yelled. “Make sure these ponies don’t fall into the changelings wrath!”

“Also bring me back an ice cream when it’s all over. All this excitement is making me hungry.” Spike yelled out. The royal guards have been defeated, and the changelings start running towards us again.

“Quick! Through the window!” Aqua yelled..

The four of us quickly ran over to the nearest window, I break it with my hornsaber, and I was the first to jump out and roll into onto the street where a bunch of changelings are attacking the Canterlot ponies. I looked behind me, and I saw a couple of stunt ponies wearing my friend’s clothes and mane style jump out of the window behind me, preformed a few flips, and land into the bushes in front of me, and then my friends suddenly walked out of the bushes, wiping the leaves off their clothes. "Awwwwwwww SNAP!" Crystal yelled as she jumped from the window. “Aww man, my dress is all dirty!” she complained.

“We can go to the dry cleaners later. For now, we need to get to safety, and try to contact the royal guard in other parts of Equestria for reinforcements.” Aqua said as the stunt ponies of my friends started crawling out of the bushes.

“Oh crud!” Engie said as I turned around and saw a bunch of changelings ambush us.

"Looks like it's time for my first Equestrian battle!” I yelled as I activated my hornsaber again. "Immigrant style! Hit it!” Engie takes out his MP3 player and starts playing Immigrant song by Led Zeppelin.

"AAAAAAH AH! A-AAAAAAAAAH AH!" I yelled as the changelings just looked at eachother awkwardly. The four of us started fighting the changelings, every way we could. It wasn’t so hard though. It would be hard if I was alone, but I had my friends with me, which made this fight seem a lot easier. We started running around the streets, fighting every Changeling we can find. We then suddenly saw a squad of changelings surround a group of ponies.

“Wait, stop, we should save that group of ponies.” Aqua suggested. Crystal looks over at a flower shop and takes a bunch of wedding flowers. She takes a look at them with no expression on her face, and then she throws the flowers at the changelings, and the changelings noticed them so they started chasing them.

“I WANT THEM!” the changelings yelled.

“How did ya know they would do that, Crystal?” Aqua asked.

“You need to learn to listen, Aquaman. Cadance said she stopped the changelings of Chrysalis’s bridesmaids in the caves, so I would’ve thought flowers would be the perfect weapon.” Crystal explained.

"Thanks you so much!” one of the ponies said. “We are grateful you can save us!”

“We didn’t save you really, we just bought you some time to run away. You ain’t safe until you’re far away from these changelings, technicially speaking.” I explained.

“Right, thank you!” the pony said as they ran to safety.

“We may find more ponies they might need our help.” Engie said.

“Right, let’s do this!” I yelled. So the four of us fought all the changelings we could find, and we saved a bunch of ponies while we were at it. Engie build a mini-sentry in the middle of the road to help hold back the changelings and save a few of the Canterlot ponies and tourists.

"Steady partner! Mah sentry is running out of poison darts that can't kill but just makes them paralyzed." Engie said.

"Flare, why are you recordin’ all that's going on?" Aqua asked.

"Don't worry about that! This can be a good parody to Cloverfield maybe!" I said.

"Uh oh! Uhhh, partners?” Engie pointed as the four of us looked around and saw changelings all around them that looked like me, Aqua, Engineer, and Crystal.

"Wow! Speaking of the Clone Wars!" I said.

"Wow speaking of the Clone Wars!" the changelings mimicked.

"You just gonna mimic me now?" I asked.

“You just gonna mimic me now?” the changelings repeated.

"We are idiots." Crystal said.

"We are idiots." The changelings repeated, but just then they all realized what they said and they looked at eachother awkwardly.

“HA! I sure got them good!” Crystal teased. Just then we all started fighting the changelings that looked like us. It was pretty funny because we tricked them into fighting eachother. The four of us snuck out of the fight and just watched the action.

“These changelings are morons.” Engie said.

“Yeah I know, but at least this isn’t one of those times that there are two of the same pony, and one pony has a gun, and that pony has to find out who the real pony is.” Crystal said.

The last group of changelings were grouped into one spot, and they suddenly found out they were fighting eachother. “Oh holy Wizard of Hope, why do we keep falling for your tricks?” one of the changelings formed as me asked. My friends and I all gasped.

“What? What’s the problem?” one of the changeling Engies asked.

“Ya REALLY shouldn’ve done that.” Aqua said.

“Why? What did we do?” one of the changeling Aquas asked.

“You…. You stole my line!” I said.

“Yeah, so what? I’m you!” the changeling me said.

“You look like me, you do have my good looks, my awesome voice, my stainless vest, and the headphones of my Ipod sticking out of your pocket, but when somepony steals my phrases, there’s only one thing you need to know.” I said.

“And what might that be?” one of the changeling Engies asked.

"Oh snap!" one of the changeling Crystals said.

"My line too?! Hit 'em good, Flare!" Crystal demanded.

"Ima firing my laser!” I said as I held my head towards the changelings and charged up my horn; "Woowoowoowoowoowoowoo!" One of the changelings done the sign of the cross and just then I fire the laser which actually created a big ball, and it rolled towards them, scattering the changelings like bowling balls. One of the changelings were left standing and were about to pounce on us, but a big bowling pinsweeper drops down from the sky and pushes the remaining changelings away.

"That's right! Welcome to Canterlot, fools! Remember you’re in Luna’s territory! LAWL remember!" I taunted. “Wow, AppleJack is right. I need a new phrase.”

“Well I’m glad all that’s over. We have to find a way to call for help.” Aqua said.

“Hey! Over here!” the purple pony from before yelled out from outside a blue house.

“Oh no! It’s that pony again!” Crystal complained.

“Maybe he might be able to help us.” Aqua said.

“Right, let’s go see what he wants.” Engie said. The four of us ran over to the house the purple pony’s at, and I went and punched him in the face.

“OW! What was that for?! I’m not a changeling, doofus!” the pony yelled.

“I know.” I said.

”Don’t be a jerk, Flare.” Aqua said. “Now what do ya want, mate?”

“I know I’ve been following you four around, not really minding my own business, and I apologize deeply, but this is super important.” The pony said.

“We’re listening, brah.” I said.

“Princess Cadance’s bridesmaids. They went missing and got replaced by changelings, and we’re assuming they’re around here in her and Shining Armor’s house.” The pony said.

“So you brought us in here to look for bridesmaids?” I asked.

“I can’t look for them alone. They might know some information on how to stop these changelings.” The pony said.

“So what are you getting at?” Crystal asked.

“I’m getting that we have to search this house for them.” The pony said.

“Right, ah’m gonna go look upstairs.” Engie said.

“I’ll go with ya.” Aqua said as they both walked up the stairs to begin searching.

“Is that camera really necessary?” the pony asked me.

“Can we stop it with the camera? I’m keeping it alright, I still have a few good gigabits left. I can multitask.” I said.

The pony sighed. “Alright, whatever. Just begin looking.” So the five of us all began looking around Shining Armor and Cadance’s house for the bridesmaids. We searched high and low, but it was pretty difficult finding them. They weren’t in the fire place, they weren’t in the bathroom, they weren’t in the closet but there was a monster in there which we didn’t really care about, also that monster was actually a sweater; they weren’t in the attic, they weren’t in the dining room, they weren’t inside that secret room behind the book shelf, they weren’t in the library, but I guess I should’ve said library before secret room behind the book shelf, they weren’t inside the cabinets, they weren’t on the ceiling, they weren’t in the back yard shed full of candles, why do they have so many candles? We eventually met back in the living room to report our findings.

"Find anythin'?" Engie asked.

“Look Engie, droids!” Crystal said as she picked up a little circle thing on the floor.

“Look, a bit!” Aqua said as he picked up a bit.

“No, Aqua, that bit was on the floor inside somepony’s house, so it ain’t yours.” Crystal informed him.

“Yeah, you’re right.” Aqua said.

“Ok, let’s just retrace our steps for a moment. Where did we last leave those bridesmaids?” I asked. “Actually, let’s start off with this: what do the bridesmaids look like?”

“Do they look like this?” Crystal asked as she opened the closet that showed a monster inside.

“One day I’ll be a bridesmaid.” The monster sniffled. “One day.”

“No the bridesmaids are Lyra Heartstrings, Minuette Colgate, and Twinkleshine.” The purple pony said.

“Hey, Lyra’s my employee!” I said.

“Yeah and I once borrowed a toothbrush from Minuette and I never gave it back.” Crystal said.

“That’s terrible!” Engie said.

“To make it all worse, it was an electric toothbrush, and I was wearing braces then, and electricity and metal just don’t get along.” Crystal said.

“Ok so where did we last leave these ponies?” I asked.

“Last time I saw them was back at the castle.” Aqua said.

“I’m pretty sure the changeling queen would be bolder than hide the bridesmaids inside the castle.” The purple pony said.

"Help!" a weak voice yelled from below us.

“Oooooh I get it! The bridesmaids are dead and are calling help from down below.” Crystal said.

"The basement!" Aqua yelled. We all ran down to the basement of the house and found Lyra, Minuette Colate, and Twinkleshine tied up in changeling goo.

“Lyra! And all other ponies not many fans care about!” Crystal yelled. The five of us all went over to them and detached them from the goo.

"Thanks, guys! We thought we were going to be trapped down here forever!" Minuette said.

"We were captured by those changelings and they took over as bridesmaids!" Twinkleshine said.

"Oh, Flare! How were we to know that something like this would happen?" Lyra asked in worry.

"It doesn't matter now! You're safe, and that’s all it matters.” I said. “Hey, purple guy, umm… listen, I apologize for giving you a hard time earlier. Thanks for everything.”

“Hey don’t mention it.” The pony smiled.

”I never got your name yet.” I said.

“Oh, right, my name is Psyche. Psyche Illution.” He said.

“Well then Psyche, I appreciate all your help.” I said.

"Alright, now that we're together again, we need to go contact for help.” Engie said.

"Right, let's go!" Twinkleshine said as we all we ran upstairs and back outside. Just as we got outside, we saw a big magical ball of energy that pushes Chrysalis and the rest of the changelings out of Canterlot and into the mist. Not the Sierra Mist. We were all in shock after we saw that particular energy. All the changelings were gone, all the ponies were free, and Canterlot was returned to it’s rightful glory.

"What just happened?" Minuette asked.

"I think... I think they did it!" I said as I started to catch my breath.

“Who did it?” Aqua asked.

“I’m… not sure.” I said.

“Then why do you say they did it if you don’t know who did it?” Crystal asked.

"Well one thing’s for sure, I’m… I’m exhausted. I…” I suddenly collapsed on the floor, dropping the camera, but it doesn’t break though.

“Flare!” Lyra yelled.

“Are you ok, Flare?” Psyche asked.

“I… I didn’t rest after I did that big shoop da whoop before, and now… I’m… I’m… so tired.” I said.

“You can rest, my friend. It’s all over now. You can rest.” Psyche said as he smiled.

“He’s not dyin’ is he?” Engie asked.

“No, he’s just exhausted. Let him rest for a bit. He fought hard.” Psyche said.

“We all did, Psyche. We all did.” Aqua said. Engie takes my camera and turns it off. The next day came, and I turned on my camera again. Engie, Crystal, Aqua, Psyche, and I were all sitting down at the chapel, waiting for the wedding to start.

"Sup brahs? We're a bit late right now, but it's time for the redo wedding!" I said to the camera.

“And this time, we’re doin’ it right.” Engie said.

“Now that Canterlot’s back to normal, we can finally relax and enjoy the royal weddin’.” Aqua said.

“Aaaand, along with us is our new friend: Psyche Illution.” I said as I pointed the camera to him.

“Hello!” Psyche waved to the camera.

“Psyche’s now a member of our group. He says he’s from Trottingham. He’s like us. He had problems too in his past.” I said.

”I don’t really like talking about it, but if you really need to know. It was just me and my mom and Trottingham. Life was never easy, but we survived. Well… I survived.” Psyche said.

“Oh… I see.” I said.

“Yeah, life in the big city is hard. I once commited some crimes there too just to earn a living, but I had to leave, and that’s when I moved to Ponyville.” Psyche explained.

“Well, you don’t have to worry about that anymore, brah! With the five of us together, nothing can stop us!” I said.

“Oh, shhh, the wedding’s about to begin.” Aqua whispered.

"Royal wedding, take two! And.... action!" I said. Fluttershy starts off the music, and the Cutie Mark Crusaders skipped by, and threw flowers everywhere. The bride follows them from behind.

"Wait, where's Cadance's dad? Isn't the dad suppose to walk with the bride?" I whispered. “Oh look at those crusaders! They look so adorable! Hnnnng!”

Cadance walks up to the alter along side Shining Armor and Celestia begins talking; "Mares and gentlecolts, we are gathered here today to celebrate the union of the real Princess Mi Amore Cadenza..."

"Princess Cadance is fine." Cadance interrupted.

“Don’t interrupt her!” I whispered.

"Hm. The union of Princess Cadance and Shining Armor." Celestia corrected herself. "The strength of their commitment is clear. The power of their love, undeniable. May we have the rings please?" Spike hands the rings to the bride and groom, and Celestia places them on their horns (which we don’t see with them anymore after the wedding). "I now pronounce you mare and colt!" The bride and groom start walking over to the balcony where everypony is cheering down from below. The bride and groom kiss, and everypony watches with a D'AWWW look on their faces.

"Ew! I think I'm gonna be sick!" Spike said as he held in his number 4.

“Hey if you wanna marry Rarity, you’re going to have to do that all that.” I reminded him.

“Riiiight.” Spike nodded.

“WHOA!” I yelled as I got startled when Rainbow Dash flew up to the air and preforms her sonic rainboom. "OOOH! I got that! I got that! Wow! Seeing Rainbow Dash preform a sonic rainboom in person really is epic! Because Friendship is Epic!”

“Ah, you said it! You said it!” Pinkie said to me excitingly.

“What did I say?” I asked.

“You said your title!” Pinkie said.

”I said what title?” I asked.

“Ah, so you’re not yet ready. We shall meet again.” Pinkie said in a creepy voice as she walks backwards into the darkness.

“Suddenly, pineapples.” I said. I stopped the recording once again, and I didn’t turn it on again until the reception later that evening. Shining Armor and Cadance were having their own private dance on the dance floor, but then I turned the camera around and saw Luna floating down next to the Mane Six and her sister. “OH! There’s Luna! I bet a lot of folks are freaking out over her appearance!”

"LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED!" Pinkie yelled along with DJ Pon-3 at the DJ table. She starts the music, and throws Twilight a mic and she starts singing.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa! Wow, Pinks! She really knows how to throw an unexpecting surprise! Speaking of surprises, I see the DJ removing her sunglasses, aaaaaaaaand… PURPLE! UGH! I thought they were red?! Well at least we won’t be in suspense anymore.” I said. “Anyways, let’s enjoy the party!” Everypony at the reception started to dance along, but as for me, I stuffed my face at the buffet, and had some sips of cider at the bar. All the obvious was going on at the party, until I saw something very interesting I should mention. Engie was dancing really hard, and he was getting closer to AppleJack with her fiddle, and by the looks of it, one of her relatives. Engie accidentally knocks into one of the relatives, and she accidentally spills her drink on Engie’s tux.

“Mah tux!” Engie yelled.

“Oh, ah am so sorry!” AppleJack’s relative said.

“Engie, be careful!” AppleJack said.

“Yeah yer right, it was mah fault. Ah should’ve been more careful.” Engie said.

“It’s no big deal. What’s yer name, sugarpie?” AppleJack’s relative asked.

“R-red Engin-engineer.” Engie said nervously.

AppleJack’s relative giggled. “Ah’m Apple Fritter.”

“Would ya- would ya like a dance?” Engie asked her.

“A dance? Hay no!” Apple Fritter said.

“Oh.” Engie said.

“Ah’m ready for a ho-down!” Apple Fritter yelled as she grabbed Engie’s hoof and took him to the dance floor.

I then walked on over to AppleJack and said, “It’s nice how these weddings can work, you know, AJ?”

“Ah agree with ya 100%, sugarcube.” AppleJack nodded.

“Hey nice fiddle!” I said.

“Thanks! Ah really didn’t know ah could play it until Apple Fritter showed me.” AppleJack said.

“Right.” I nodded.

“HI AQUA!” Pinkie yelled as she bounces on Aqua and he falls onto the floor.

”Pinkie! Ya made me spill my sauce all over my armor.” Aqua complained.

“Why are you sitting around for? It’s a party!” Pinkie said.

“I was hungry.” Aqua said.

“Let’s dance!” Pinkie said.

”I’m not much of a dancer.” Aqua said.

“C’mon, Pinkie, calm down.” Psyche said as he tried to get Pinkie off him.

“How about you, Psyche? You wanna dance with me?” Pinkie asked as he jumped close to his face.

“Sure, why no-WHOA!” Psyche yelled as Pinkie pulled him onto the dance floor right away.

“Pinkie makes a good Tigger!” I said as I helped Aqua up.

“Mhm.” Aqua nodded. I gasped as soon as I felt that I was being hugged by somepony.

“AAAH!” I yelled as I accidentally sparked a flare out of my horn, and shot it at Rarity’s cider glass.

“Thanks for saving Lyra, Flare.” Bon Bon said as she was still hugging me.

“Why you thanking just me for? I didn’t even know she was in there without Psyche’s help.” I corrected her.

“I know, but you helped, and you know what? I never thought you were the best boss in the world, but you are! You are!” Bonnie said.

“Thanks, Bonnie! I really appreciate it, but me saving Lyra has nothing to do with my business- wait, actually…. It does. Without Lyra, I’m short an employee! Wow, I am so glad I found her!” I said.

“Don’t push it, Flare.” Bonnie smirked.

“Where is Lyra anyway?” I asked.

“Over at the cider bar with Crystal.” Bonnie pointed. Over at the cider bar, Crystal and Lyra were feeling a little dizzy over all the cider they drank.

“You know what we should do? You know what we should do?” Crystal asked Lyra. “We should- we should get on that train and just go, just go, a-and start playing mini-golf!”

“I never told- I never told anypony this, but…” Lyra looked around and then whispered in Crystal’s ear; “I have velcro wallet.”

“What?!” Crystal gasped.

“Yes!” Lyra said.

“No way!” Crystal said surprisingly.

“Yes way!” Lyra said.

“That is so cool!” Crystal said.

“I know right?!” Lyra asked excitingly.

“Hey, Flare! Come over here!” Twilight yelled out from the other side of the reception.

“What?!” I yelled.

“COME OVER HERE!” Twilight yelled louder. I walked over to her and saw her talking to Shining Armor and Cadance.

“Where’s my money, Twilight?” I asked.

“What money?” Twilight asked.

“Ok good, you’re not a changeling. What do you need?” I asked.

“Big brother, Cadance, you know Princess Celestia is my teacher right?” Twilight asked.

“Yes.” Cadance and Shining nodded.

“Well THIS is my student.” Twilight said.

“I’m your student?” I asked.

“Aren’t I teaching you the value of friendship?” Twilight asked.

“Wait, so that means I’m learning? Ew, I hate learning.” I said. Shining and Cadance laughed. “What? It’s true, I don’t like learning, unless it’s really interesting.”

“So you’re also Twilight’s student, huh Flare?” Shining asked.

“I suppose you can say that.” I said.

"Prove it to them, tell them what you learned today." Twilight said.

"Right now?" I asked.

"Yes." Twilight said.

"Well.... I learned that.... umm.... umm..... I learned that anypony can marry royalty?" I asked.

"May I make a suggestion?" Psyche asked. "Flare here has learned that it's wise to see what other ponies point of views and perspectives are, even if these ponies seem strange or mysterious, they may end up to be your closest friends in the future."

"Don't talk for me, I can do it myself!" I complained.

"Hey, I learned something as well. I should've minded my own business than to try to give you advice when you don't ask for it. I was only trying to help." Psyche said.

"I know, and I appreciate it regardless. We need a voice of reason in our group." I said.

"Exactly!" Psyche said.

“Hey, Flare, I want to wish you and your friends congratulations.” Cadance said.

“Thanks! I really did good in recording Rainbow Dash’s sonic rainboom, didn’t I?” I asked.

“Not that, in saving some of the townfolk from the changelings.” Cadance corrected me.

“Oh that. It was Aqua’s idea! Don’t get mad at me!” I begged.

Cadance chuckled and asked, “Why would I be mad?”

“I dunno, because these ponies are Canterlot ponies.” I said.

“Flare, I’m a Canterlot pony.” Twilight said.

“YOU ARE?! Then why aren’t you all fancy-smancy?” I asked.

“Because I’m not into that. Rarity is though.” Twilight said.

“Oh. Is Rarity from Canterlot?” I asked.

“No she’s from Ponyville.” Twilight said.

“Nothing makes sense to me anymore.” I said.

“Anyways, Flare, the main reason I wanted to talk to you about is, I want a business card.” Cadance said.

“You want a business card? Alright.” I reached into my pocket and gave Cadance a business card for my dad’s shop. “It’s my dad’s carriage audio and alarms store in Mareami. In case you need an upbeat stereo or an alarm system for your carriage, my dad’s the stallion you can talk to!”

“I meant a business card for your pizza shop.” Cadance chuckled and corrected me.

“Oh, alright, how did you know I owned a pizza shop? Are you psychic?” I asked.

“Oooo, that would be so cool if she is!” Pinkie said.

“Twilight told me.” Cadance said.

“Twilight, you should mind your own business.” I said to her.

“I’m helping you get business for your shop, does that mean anything to you?” Twilight asked.

“Oh in that case thank you!” I nodded.

“You’re a goof-off, Flare.” Shining said.

“Eeeeeeeee!” I said.

“Anyways, I’ll give you a call soon. We want to eat there one day” Shining said.

"Hey, Cadance?" I asked.

"Yeah?" Cadance asked.

"Can I call you sista now?" I asked.

"What?" Cadance asked.

"Princess Mi Amore didn't want me to call her one." I said.

"Of course you can! I appreciate a good slang as much as the next princess!" Cadance said.

"Well, Twilight? Do you?" I asked.

"What?" Twilight asked.

"What?" I asked.

“Thanks for everything, Flare, we’ll see you again soon.” Cadance said as her and Shining started walking over to their carriage.

“I’m going to go wish them off to their honeymoon.” Twilight said as she followed them.

“Yeah you do that. Hm, I wonder what their foal is gonna look like.” I turned over the camera to me and said, “Well, I guess that’s about it. That was the Canterlot Royal Wedding. I gotta say, things didn’t really go my way before I moved to Ponyville. I’ve been really lucky lately. But then again, luck runs out. I have the feeling something big is going to happen, I don’t know why, but I just have that feeling.”

“Hey, Flare? Fluttershy wanted me to tell you that she wants to dance with you.” Spike said.

“Why couldn’t she ask me hersel- oh. Alright, she doesn’t need to be shy. Just let me say one thing to my camera and I’ll go and see my Ponyville mama.” I said to him as I moved the camera towards me again. “Well, brahs, I hope you enjoyed the wedding! My name is Flare Gun, your leading director, and I hope you enjoyed it. Oh! There’s one more thing I need to say: while I was passing Cadance’s room before the wedding, I saw-“

The video suddenly cuts off and it says; ‘Camera memory full’.

Author's Note

Here's the remake of the Wedding Captures chapter. It is a pretty long chapter, but still pretty fun! A few has changed on here. Engie, Crystal, Aqua, and Psyche were seen alot more, and now I made Psyche's prologue to the story more interesting. He seemed more of a mysterious character before he became a member of the group. Flare seemed OP in the original chapter, so I made Flare only do Shoop Da Whoop once, and he gets exhausted later because of it. I took the song in the end out because I thought it was unnecessary.

Rainbow Crush

It was a very hot summer day in Ponyville, so I decided to head down to the town swimming pool. Yes, of course this town has a swimming pool! If there wasn’t, why would I be here? There were lots of ponies swimming in the pool, playing, diving, some were relaxing in the sun, and some were in the hot tub. I walked over to the entrance gate, opened it, and went inside.

"Ah, what a beautiful hottastic, watertastic, diving boardastic, hot tubastic, beach ballastic, no coleslawastic because I don't like cole slaw DAY!" I said as I placed my beach bag on the floor next to a lounge chair. I put on his sunglasses, took off my shoes and vest, placed sun block on my skin and laid down on the lounge chair eating salt and vinegar potato chips.

“So that’s what you look like without any clothes, huh Flare?” my friend Woodenshy asked.

(Image by Mollywantsyourvirgins)

“Like what you see, Woodenshy?” I asked with a seductive pose.

“Hey there’s nothing wrong with not wearing any clothes, you fit right in.” Woodenshy said.

“That why they say Ponyville is a nudist colony? Compared to Canterlot, Manehatten, and Mareami, this place is a nudist colony.” I said.

“Right, so I’m gonna head into the pool before it gets crowded and it gets too warm to go in.” Woodenshy said as he jumps backwards into the pool and starts dancing on the top of the water like a dolphin and made a dolphin noise. How did he do that? Really, how do you make a dolphin noise? Anyways, after I finished eating, I walked over to the pool and felt with my hoof, and then I shivered.

"Oooo! The water's cold!" I said as I was shivering, but then I took off my sunglasses and put on my water goggles. "But that ain't stoppin me from jumping in. Watch my cannonball!" I then took out a beach ball and threw it in the water and it hit the head of a blue Pegasus stallion with yellow wavy hair, goes by the name of Skyblaze. "I know this isn't a cannonball, but it's all I got."

(Image NOT made by me, but author is known until further notice)

"Hey watch it!" Skyblaze yelled.

"It's just a beach ball, brah." I said.

"A beach ball what?" Skyblaze asked.

"I take it that you're a concerned about something, my friend?" I asked in a squeaky voice.

"Are you gonna jump in, or just tell me stuff that doesn't make any sense what so ever?" Skyblaze asked.

"Brahs and sistas, I give yooooooou... NOTHING! You lose! Good day sir!” I teased as I turned around and started walking away.

"Uh... what are you-“ Skyblaze asked as I interrupted him.

"I said good day, sir!" I yelled as I jumped back on my lounge chair and ate some more potato chips. When I finished eating, I started jogging back to the pool, but then the life guard blows their whistle and yelled while pointing to a sign; "No running on pool deck!"

"I wasn't running, I was jogging. There's a difference you know." I corrected him.

The life guard sighs. "Carry on." he said. I was about to jump into the pool but then Twilight suddenly teleports in front of me instantly.

"Surprise face!" I yelled. “Why would you do that?!”

"You know Flare, you shouldn't be swimming right after you eat, you need to wait a half hour or so." Twilight said.

"Hi I'm Twilight, RULES RULES RULES along with WORDS WORDS WORDS!" I teased her.

"If you go into the pool right after you eat, you'll get sick." Twilight informed me.

“Why are you telling me this?” I asked.

“I done my research, and I’m giving you another friendship lesson.” Twilight said.

"How is this a friendship lesson?" I asked.

"Telling your friends not to do something they'll regret." Twilight said.

"Sigh.” I said. “What can I do then? May I go into the hot tub?"

"Certainly!" Twilight said.

"Kay thanks, bye." I said as I ran from the pool through the grass area to the hot tub. The lifeguard blows his whistle and yells, "Okay, that was running. No running on the pool deck!"

"I'm not running on the pool deck, I'm running in the grass area!” I corrected him again, and then the lifeguard started to grumpily mumble to himself. I then jumped into the hot tub and placed my hooves on the back of my head and relaxed. "Ah this is nice. I likie!” I said.

“Yeah, I really needed this.” My friend Adventure Blade, otherwise known as Keith said while sitting in front of me.

(Image made by Tory Empson)

“KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEITH!” I yelled in excitement.

“Flaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaare!” Keith yelled in excitement.

“How ya doing, brah?” I asked.

“Nothing much really, just being lazy.” Keith said.

“I hear ya, man.” I nodded. "You know the hot tub seating seems softer than I thought." I started wiggling my behind in the hot tub. "And it seems hairy too.”

“That doesn’t sound right.” Keith assumed. Just then, bubbles started popping out of the water from behind me. "Nice, dude." he said as he hopped out of the hot tub and awkwardly walked away.

"Forty-Five degree angle mouth face. That was not me." I said. I don’t know why Keith awkwardly left the tub after he saw those bubbles, this is a Jacuzzi after all, but then I remembered, the Jacuzzi isn’t even online. The bubbles, the fury seat, this could only mean one thing, so I placed my hoof under the water and noticed what I was sitting on, it felt like a pony. So I grabbed whoever I was sitting on, and pulled them to the surface. It was Rainbow Dash. "Oh! Hey, Rainbow Dash!”

Rainbow Dash was glaring at me. "Next time, look before you leap." She informed me.

"Ouch. Sorry.” I said.

“It’s gonna take a lot more than that to accept this pony’s apology.” Rainbow said.

“I’ll photoshop a copy of my picture with Spitfire, replacing me with you.” I offered.

“Apology accepted, so what’s up?” Rainbow asked.

"Gas prices, always." I said.

"Ooookay. I mean what's going on?" Rainbow asked.

"All the light switches around the world." I said.

"I mean-." Rainbow was about to say.

"No you're not mean, Dashie. You're pretty nice." I said.

"Thank you Flare, but that's not what I mean." Rainbow corrected me.

"I told you, you're not mean... as I know of." I said.

"Hey Flare, can I ask you something?" Rainbow asked.

"You just did." I said.

"Wiseguy.” Rainbow said. “But to be honest, you are pretty funny at times.”

"I'm not pretty funny, I'm handsome funny. Because I'm a colt, remember?" I reminded her.

"I know what you're gonna say next." Rainbow said in an annoyed tone.

"Oh yeah? What am I gonna say next?" I asked.

"Lawl remember Dash." Rainbow said, mimicking my voice.

"Wow, that’s what I sound like? No wonder I irritate some ponies.” I thought.

“I guess it all goes to show, you need a taste of your own medicine so you’ll know your mistakes easier.” Rainbow said.

“I guess so.” I agreed.

“Thank you, Flare, you finally gave me a theory to prove Twilight wrong!” Rainbow said.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“I said her that giving others a taste of their own medicine is actually a way for them to learn, but she said nooooooooooo, we must reason with them and bla bla bla.” Rainbow said.

"Hm... this hot tub lacks bubbles. Is the tub even working?" I asked as the hot tub bubbles finally appeared. "Oh there we go! So what did you want to ask me Dash?"

"Oh, I just wanted to ask you if you ever found your special somepony?" she asked.

"Why you askin? Want me to be yours?” I asked.

Rainbow Dash blushed. "No. Nothing personal Flare. Just... no."

"I never found my special somepony yet. Except back in Mareami I was with this pony by the name of Blueberry Pie. She was the most popular pony in school, but she betrayed me for the ‘cooler kids’. I never wanted to go out with her anyway.” I explained. “But here in Ponyville, there's a couple I like, but it's best I remain single when I can. I want to find the perfect pony, but come to think of it, if you're in a relationship, you have to give your coltfriend or marefriend special attention. Me? I'm not ready for that kind of attention yet. I have mares that are friends, but no marefriends yet if ya catch my drift."

"I hear you loud and clear Flare, and I totally understand." Rainbow said.

"What about you, Dashie? Have you found your special somepony yet?" I asked.

“Pffft! As if! I don’t need a special somepony! I’m awesome on my own.” Rainbow said.

“Well, have you ever had a crush on anypony in the past?” I asked.

“Well… there was this one pony. It was back in Junior Flight School. He was a lot like you, Flare. He couldn’t fit in.” Rainbow said.

“Wow, it looks like I could make a new friend! I need a sixth member in my group.” I said.

“Since when did you get a fifth member?” Rainbow asked.

“Well, first I met Crystal and Engie. We met when Lord Thorn was in town. There’s Aquatic Armor that I met at the Unicorn Games, and then there’s Psyche from the royal wedding! A sixth member is exactly what we need. We’d have as much of a group as you and your friends, Dashie!” I said.

“Sounds awesome!” Rainbow said.

“So tell me about your crush from flight school.” I requested.

“Well, he used to be able to fit in very well. We met during a race. I already had my cutie mark then. He was so impressed with that sonic rainboom I pulled off at the first race I ever done, and he wanted me to prove I was the best flyer in the camp, so we raced. I won of course, but he was the best sport about it, everypony else was jealous. He hung out with me and my old friend Gilda-“ Rainbow Dash became silent, then bursted to tears.

"Whoa, Dash! Why the tears?" I asked.

Rainbow Dash sniffled and said, "Nopony- I mean nothing!"

"C'mon Dash tell your ol buddy. You can trust me, right?" I asked with a squee.

"It's not you Flare." Rainbow sniffled. "I just... I just don't want to talk about it."

"I ain't forcing ya." I said. “I know what it’s like to lose a friend like Gilda.”

“No… it’s not Gilda, I could care less about her. It’s my crush actually.” Rainbow said.

“It’s alright, sista. I won’t force you to talk about it.” I said.

“You’re a good friend, Flare!” Rainbow smiled. “Our friendship lessons have taught you well, and I’m proud.”

“I’m glad you taught me a lot.” I said.

"Well I suppose... I could tell you about him.” Rainbow offered.

"No, no, it's cool. I know you don't want to talk about it, and I won’t force it against you.” I said as I pushed her and chuckled. “Force.”

"Yeah you're right I won't talk about it." Rainbow agreed.

"Good girl." I said as I patted on the head, but then Rainbow takes out her Ipad.

"Instead I'm gonna show you a video about it." Rainbow said.

"Oh... okay." I said as Rainbow Dash turned on the video on her Ipad, which was buffering.

“I don’t like that circle. It keeps telling me to wait, and I don’t like waiting.” I said.

“For once, I completely agree with you.” Rainbow nodded.

“Yeah, you agree that I don’t like waiting.” I said. The video finally loaded, and it showed footage of her and a griffon standing next to her.

"Who's the bird?" I asked.

"She's not a bird, she's a griffon. She’s Gilda.” Rainbow said.

"So if her name is Gilda, then shouldn't she be a fish? If she's a griffon, then it should be Featherda.” I teased.

“Anyways, there’s Gilda and I stretching out so we can practice flying around the track. Now the Wonderbolts, you know the Wonderbolts, right?” she asked.

"Yeah. They perform at every Nashorse race. I met Spitfire personally when they played at Mareami!" I said.

"Well Crescent Moon, one of the Wonderbolt’s assistants, before he was one, he was a coach in high-leveled flight school." Rainbow explained.

"Alright students!" Crescent Moon said in the video. "Today I'm timing each of you to see how fast you can go. You must start here, and fly all the way to the Cloud Factory, and back. No cheating, because my partner is over there at the checkpoint. Up first, we have..." Rainbow Dash then starts fast forwards the video.

"Hey I was enjoying it." I complained.

"Sorry, I just want to skip to the part where it was my turn." Rainbow said as she resumed playing the video at the part when Solid Snake was about to kiss Otacon.

“Are you coming onto me?!” Otacon yelled.

“Grrr! Why did you stop at this part?!” Solid Snake yelled at Rainbow.

“Oh, sorry!” Rainbow said as she continued fast forwarding until she stopped at when Cloudchaser and Flitter just finished flying.

"Well done, Cloudchaser! Well done, Flitter! Well done, everypony!" Crescent Moon said. "We have two more ponies, up first... Blaze Goldheart." The video showed a gray pegaus pony with a red and blond mane and tail and a phoenix cutie mark started walking towards the starting line.

"And there he is.” Rainbow Dash said to me. Rainbow smiled and her eye pupils grew big as she saw Blaze walk towards the starting line. "I've been childhood friends with him, but I never got the chance to tell him how I felt."

"Lawl, and I thought Fluttershy was the shy one!” I teased.

"Shut up!” Rainbow blushed embarrassingly and covered my mouth, and then suddenly, I licked her hoof and she removes it from my mouth quickly. “Eww! Hoof licker!”

“Don’t expect to put something near my mouth and not expect me to taste it.” I informed her.

"So there he was. He was the most awesome colt I ever met!" Rainbow said about Blaze.

"Was?" I asked.

"I mean still is." Rainbow corrected herself.

"Alright Blaze, show me what you got!" Crescent requested. Blaze went into his position pose and mischievously looked straight ahead.

"I'm ready, coach!” Blaze said.

"Ready, set, GO!" Crescent yelled as he started his stopwatch. Blaze went in full speed to the Cloud Factory, spun around it, then flew back to the school. While he was on his way there, he cried a big roar and a ring of fire spreaded out of his body, and then a fire pheonix appeared on top of the ring, crying out a big screech and then disappeared. Blaze finally arrived at the school, and everypony, including Rainbow Dash was cheering, except for Gilda though.

"Hmph. Big deal." Gilda said.

"Wow! 15 seconds!" Crescent said in surprise. "A new record! Well done, Mr. Goldheart! Up next, Rainbow Dash!"

"Go get 'em tiger!" Gilda said, giving Dash a bro hoof (or sister hoof).

"No problemo, sister!" Rainbow said as she mischievously walked over to the starting line.

"Good luck, Rainbow." Blaze said. "You're gonna need it."

Rainbow Dash blushed and got in position. "On your mark! Get set! NOT GO! NOT GO! GO!" Crescent yelled as he started her stopwatch. Rainbow Dash flew in full speed to the cloud factory, and dashed right back to the school, leaving a spring-shaped rainbow behind her.

"WOW! This is amazing!" Crescent yelled. "10 seconds flat! You certainly made this 20% cooler, Rainbow Dash!"

"Thanks, coach! Wow, 20% cooler in 10 seconds flat! That’s gonna be my new catch phrase!” Rainbow said as she walked back to Gilda.

"Smooth move, dudet!" Gilda said. "You seem parshed. Let's go grab a bite."

"Right behind ya, Gilda!" Rainbow said as they both walked over to the lunch room.

"Where did you get all this recording from anyway?" I asked. "Who recorded it?"

"Derpy." The present Rainbow Dash said to me. Back in the video, Gilda and past Rainbow Dash in the video were carrying their lunches to the tables. Gilda then tripped over Cloud Kicker without anypony noticing.

"What you lookin at, stupid?" Gilda asked Derpy in a mean tone.

"Rainbow Dash told me to record her today." Derpy said.

"There's nothing even to record!" Gilda yelled.

"You'll never know." Derpy said.

"Hey Cloudchaser! Flitter! Come over and sit with us!” Rainbow yelled over to them. Then Gilda came up to them and roared in their faces. Then then the twins screamed and ran away.

"Gilda, why did you do that?" Rainbow asked.

"Sorry, I sneezed.” Gilda said.

"Oh, gesundheit.” Rainbow said and laughed. Blaze Goldheart then appears and laughs along with her. "Yeah, I agree. Somethings just never change around here."

Rainbow Dash blushed, "Oh... hi."

"Hi, Rainbow Dash!" Blaze said. "Sweet moves out there! You certainly are the best flyer in the school!"

Rainbow giggled. "Thanks, Blaze."

"Hey listen, I got this really cool race path from here to Canterlot castle if you’re interested in trying it out with me later.” Blaze requested.

"Sounds awesome!" Rainbow said. "When would you want to that?"

"Right after school!" Blaze said.

“Only if I can go too.” Gilda said.

“Umm, alright Gilda, sure! No problem!” Blaze said.

“Good.” Gilda said.

"Meet you out front!" Blaze winked at her and flew out of the lunch room. Rainbow Dash sighed and just stared at him as he left.

"Rainbow and Blaze sittin in a tree! K-I-“ I teased.

“Flare, shut it!” present Rainbow yelled at me.

“You didn’t let me finish; K-I-C-K-I-N-G!” I said.

"Why would we be kicking up there?” Rainbow asked.

"Nevermind, just continue." I said.

"Okay, so we decided to have a flight course. We raced all the way to Canterlot and back." Rainbow Dash said showing the video of her, Gilda, and Blaze going from Canterlot and back.

"Good luck you two. You'll need it!" Blaze said.

"We don't need luck, right Dash?" Gilda asked her.

"You got it!" Rainbow said.

"Ready... set... GO!" Blaze yelled as they started the race. Blaze and Dash were flying side by side. Of course Gilda tried to cheat, but she didn’t want to, for Rainbow’s sake. There was a little pushing from her, but Blaze and Dash supported eachother, then they back fired on her. Eventually, the three of them tied to the finish line.

"I won, I'm the best!" Gilda yelled.

"No way, that was me!" Rainbow said.

"I'm perfectly certain it was me." Blaze said.

"No it was me!" Derpy said, still holding the camera that showed the video.

"You weren't even part of the race Derpy." Blaze corrected her.

"Why you still recording?" Gilda asked.

"Remind you of anypony, Flare? Anypony that used the camera too much... like during the wedding?" present Rainbow Dash asked Flare.

"Negative." I said.

"We should totally do this again! That was so awesome!" past Rainbow Dash said in the video.

"Yeah totally! Well I'm gonna head home to get some grub. I'll catch you two on the flip side!" Gilda said as she flies away.

"Oh that Gilda, huh Rainbow?" Blaze asked.

"You got it Blaze!" Rainbow said as she turned around to see dusk coming along. "Just look at that sunset!"

"Yeah, it sure is beautiful, isn't it?" Blaze asked. The two of them sat down with eachother on the cliffside and watched the sun go down.

"You're amazing, Blaze! You're a great friend! We're gonna be graduating soon, you know?" Rainbow reminded Blaze while leaning on his head.

"I know. You're amazing too. You're my best friend in the whole world!" Blaze said. “You’re the only one who truly understands me, and my… secret.”

“Hey, your secret’s safe with me. Forget the ones that turn you down! You’re awesome in my book, Blaze!” Rainbow said.

“R-right.” Blaze said upsettingly.

“Are… are you okay?” Rainbow asked.

“Something’s been bothering me lately. There are things I have to do.” Blaze said.

“What things?” Rainbow asked.

“It’s not important.” Blaze said.

“C’mon, Blaze! Tell me!” Rainbow begged.

“I’ll tell you tomorrow, alright? I have to go home.” Blaze said.

“Oh… ok…” Rainbow said. “I’ll see you tomorrow then?”

“See you first thing tomorrow!” Blaze said happily.

“Sweet! Alright, see ya then!” Rainbow said.

“Bye, Rainbow.” Blaze said as he kissed her on the cheek and flew off quickly. Rainbow blushed and froze.

“Oooooo!” Derpy said.

“Derpy! Shut that off!” Rainbow demanded.

“This is too good!” Derpy said.

“Gimmie that camera!” Rainbow demanded as she tried to take the camera away from her, and the video freezes in the middle of the clip.

“Well… that’s all that was filmed.” present Rainbow said.

"Alright you lost me. What happened?" I asked. Rainbow Dash glared at me with tears on her eyes still. "I’m serious! Like seriously actually. I really have no idea why you’re so upset about this!”

Rainbow Dash took a deep breath. "It's okay, Flare." she said. "I just... I just wish he was back. Blaze Goldheart. I miss him so-" Just then, Rainbow Dash started to cry he held on to me. I was thinking to myself that this is when a mare is the most vulnerable, but I’m her friend, and I have to do the right thing.

"There there, sista. There there. No need to get all upset about it. Why don't we go visit him?" I asked.

"But I don't know where he is!” Rainbow yelled.

"Hmm... what about-" I was about to say but she interrupted me.

"I'm sorry I started this subject." Rainbow said as she jumps out of the hot tub. "He left me alone, he moved on, he doesn't care about me!"

"Of course he does!" I said.

"Oh yeah? How do you know?!” Rainbow yelled at me.

"Look, how did Blaze leave you anyway?” I asked.

"I'm going home. See ya later, Flare." Rainbow said as she flies away.

“Should I do anything about this?” I asked myself. “Nah! It’s none of my business! Besides, Rainbow will definitely feel better soon, like the time I cheered Engie up when he was upset.”

A cutaway shows an explosion inside Engie’s house, and the Blue Spy laughs evilly as he snorts and exits his house with the intelligence on his back. “Indestructible sentry, my flank! You are absolutely the worst, Red Engineer! I mean look at you, you rely on machines to fight. You’re a terrible fighter, and I don’t know why you’re even a class!” the spy said as he continued laughing and ran away.

Engie walks outside with tears in his eyes. “It’s… it’s all a lie… it’s not real!”

“I thought it would be best to find out for yourself, bro.” I said to him.

“Ah feel like such a fool.” Engie said sadly as he sat on the ground and cried. “Don’t even look at me!”

“Hey, c’mon! You wanna get some ice cream? That’ll help you feel better right?” I asked. Engie shook his head. “You wanna get some McDonalds?” Engie shook his head. “You wanna take a dump in Spy’s shoes?” Engie nodded, so I took his hoof, helped him up, and I patted him on the shoulder. “Ok, let’s take a dump in Spy’s shoes.” So we dumped dumpster garbage in Spy’s entire collection of shoes and tuxedos, and Engie was happy shortly after. The cutaway ends.

"You know Flare-" Twilight started as she teleported into the Jacuzzi

"AAH!" I yelled. "Quit doing that! Why can't you walk like everypony else?"

"Flare, if you want to do something to help Rainbow Dash, you should try to get in contact with Blaze Goldheart." Twilight said.

"Why ask me? You're the one with the ideas, dum dum!” I reminded her.

"I know, but I help ponies out all the time! Maybe you should have a turn. Time to put your friendship lessons to the test!” Twilight said.

"But I'm not even part of the Harmony of Elements, or whatever it's called." I said.

Twilight placed her hoof on my shoulder and said, "You don't have to be a part of the Elements of Harmony to be a good friend."

"Alright, Light. Alright." I nodded. "But how am I gonna get in contact with him?"

"Meet me in the library." Twilight instructed me as she teleported away.

"WAIT! Take me with you!" I yelled. "I gotta learn that spell."

Sometime later, I went over to Twilight's library and knocked on her door. Knock, knock, knock; “Twilight?” Knock, knock, knock; “Twilight?” Knock, knock, knock; “Twilight?” After doing the Sheldon Cooper knock, Spike opens the door to see who it is (as if he doesn’t already know, since I’m the only one in town that does that knock, at least until Sheldon Cooper comes to town).

"AAAH! DRAGON!" I yelled

"AAAH! RED PONY! AAAAAAH!” Spike yelled.

"Twilight? There's a baby dragon in your house!" I yelled.

"Twilight? There's some hilarious unicorn talking smack about me!" Spike yelled.

“Ahh, Smack, I remember the last time I had that.” I said.

A cutaway shows me back at high school, and a couple of tough ponies walked over to me and said, “Hey, Crimson? Want some Smack?”

“Oh thanks, brah! I do love a good cereal at 1:30 in the afternoon!” I said as the bully smacks me in the face with the cereal box. “OOOOW!” I yelled. “That’s not what I thought you meant at all!”

“You want some milk with that?” the bully asked with a carton of milk.

“Oooow!” I moaned as I rubbed my muzzle. “Yes, please. But I hope that milk’s not low-fat. I don’t like low-fat.”

“It’s whole milk.” The bully said.

“Alright, good.” I said. The cutaway ends.

"Twilight's in the other room." Spike said.

"You don't say?" I said sarcastically.

“What’s with the sarcasm?” Spike asked.

“There are only two rooms in this place, and both of them are libraries, and Twilight’s not in here, so she has to be in the other room.” I reminded him.

“That is not true, there’s Twilight’s lab that’s in the basement.” Spike reminded me.

“Really? Twilight didn’t mention she had a lab.” I said.

“She doesn’t normally talk about it because she doesn’t want ponies bothering her in there, not like last time.” Spike said.

A cutaway shows Twilight working on a new potion, but then she gets startled after Rainbow Dash pops in yelling, “Hey Twilight!” Twilight drips too much of the potion into another vial of liquid and then it explodes, and Twilight and Rainbow are now both all burnt up.

“Thank you, Rainbow Dash, you ruined my only chance of getting Rebecca Shoichet to stop singing for me.” Twilight said sarcastically to Rainbow. The cutaway ends.

I walked over to the other room where Twilight is and I when I got in there I saw a blue oval on the ground that looks like a portal from the game Portal. "Looks like Twilight is developing the use of portals!"

"Yeah. She says she likes that game so much once you showed her it, she decided to make one of her own using her magic." Spike said.

"Really? Wow looks amazing!" I said as I placed my hoof hoof inside the portal, and I looked up and saw the orange portal where my hoof is sticking out. "Wow! It really works! Leet!"

"Try jumping in!" Spike suggested, giving me a smirk.

"No, then I'm gonna be falling from that portal up there right into this portal infinite times. I played the game, I'm not stupid brah." I said.

"Hello, Flare!" Twilight said as she teleported out of nowhere again.

"SURPRISE FACE!" I yelled as I lost my balance and fell through the portal behind me, but because the exit portal was right over the entrance portal, I just kept falling infinite times. Twilight and Spike just stood there watching me travel through space time.

"I guess I should’ve installed one of those particle fields in all the entrances of the room.” Twilight said.

"You think?" Spike asked sarcastically . "Why do you have to be so lazy?"

"It’s research, alright?” Twilight defended herself.

"That's called laziness. Maybe you should stick with walking, Twilight." Spike suggested.

Twilight then she uses her magic to close the entrance portal, but she stopped the portal at a bad time because my torso was sticking out of the floor while my legs were still hanging on the ceiling. I looked up and saw my legs kicking around. “I dunno if this is creepy or cool.” I said.

“Oops.” Twilight said as she activated both portals again, and I once again started to fall, and then Twilight closes the portals in the right time, well kinda, and I slammed right onto the floor, and I saw stars swirling around my head. “I’m sorry, Flare.” She said.

I stuck my head back up and spun it around while my eyes rolled around in circles. "No worries, mummy. We going to Didney Worl?" I asked while acting dopey and my head falls back down on the floor. I was hurt too much so Twilight levitated me onto a chair, and she places an ice pack on my head.

"I am so sorry, Flare!" Twilight said again.

"Don't worry about it. Just tell me how to contact or find the ice cream pony." I reminded her.

“You mean Blaze Goldheart?” Twilight corrected me.

“Ice cream pony, Blaze Goldheart, I don’t see the difference.” I said as I held the ice pack on my head. Twilight levitates all her books from the shelves and goes through all that she thinks that we can find information on Blaze is in. "I thought when you called me here you already knew." I asked.

"Look I actually wanted your help, but since you're hurt, I'll do it myself." Twilight said.

"No it's alright. I'll do it." I said as I tried to get out of my chair.

"Are you sure?" Twilight asked.

"I'm all healed!” I said as I stood up straight.

"Alright if that's what you want." Twilight said.

Just then a pony with sunglasses and a top hat slides in and yells, “Everybody do the flop!” We both then collapsed to the ground, face first.

“Flare, you’re in no shape to be standing up right now.” Twilight said as she levitated me back on the chair with the ice pack.

“Trust me, I’d be in waaaaaay better shape if I didn’t have that breakfast buffet this morning. These buffets, sista, they’ll really get ya. They charge so much money for just getting one thing from up there, but if I’m spending that kind of money, I might as well get the whole buffet!” I said.

“Are you calling a buffet the way it’s spelled?” Spike asked.

“Isn’t that what’s it actually called? A ‘buffet’, not a ‘buff-eigh’? Like the word ‘depot’, how about calling it how it’s actually spelled ‘depot’ instead of ‘depo’, like Office ‘Depot’, Home ‘Depot’, Furniture ‘Depot’, Pet Food ‘Depot’, Hunting Supplies ‘Depot’, or maybe even ‘Depot Depot’.” I explained. “How about other words that have silent letters? I have a whole list of them, wanna hear it?”

“Not really.” Twilight said. “I’m kinda-“

“I’ll be quick.” I said. “Instead of ‘isle’ it should be ‘asile’, instead of people it should be ‘pe-o-pul’, jeopardy will be ‘je-o-pardy’, guide would be ‘g-u-ide’, laugh would be ‘lah-u-ff’, instead of gnome it would be ‘ga-nome’, instead of-“

“Alright Flare, I think we get it.” Twilight said.

“Alright would be ‘alri-guh-huh-t’.” I said.

“Flare!” Twilight yelled.

“Oh right, and Flare would be ‘Flar-ee’.” I said.

“Are you quite finished? Do you want me to look for this pony, Flare? Because I don’t have to, if you really want to help Rainbow Dash.” Twilight said annoyingly.

“But this was your idea, Twilight.” I corrected her.

“Oh… right, it was. But still I can’t concentrate with your blabber-mouthing.” Twilight said.

“I apologize, Twilight.” I said.

“Apology accepted.” Twilight said as she continued searching for the book she was looking for.

“Oh one more!” I yelled as I broke Twilight’s concentration again. “Apologize would be ‘apologi- oh wait, that word stays the same. Sorry ‘bout that, carry on.” Twilight started to groan.

“Actually I feel better and I’ll help you look for the book.” I said nervously as I took off the ice pack and helped Twilight search for the book. Twilight shook her head and rolled her eyes as she continued looking for the book. In the middle of searching, she looks at me weirdly.

”Flare, what are you doing?” Twilight asked.

"What do you think I'm doing? I’m searching for this book, even though I kinda forgot what we were searching for. What was the title again?” I asked.

“We’re looking for a past year book of Cloudsdale Flight Camp, and why don't you use your horn, like me?" Twilight asked as I kept removing books off the shelves with my hooves.

“Because I’m not lazy.” I said.

“This isn’t laziness, Flare, its fast-forwarding research.” Twilight corrected me.

“You think life is a movie; you can just fast-forward and re-wind?” I asked.

“Actually, Twilight does know a fast-forwarding and rewind spell.” Spike commented as Twilight glares at him. “What? Why do you glare at me all the time? You make it look like you think I keep doing the wrong thing.”

"Well, YOU... use your horn! ME... I'm using my hooves! Your horn won't always be there for you, you know." I informed her.

"Well, you do got a point there. I had to learn that the hard way.” Twilight said.

“What are you talking about, Twilight?” Spike asked as he was nibbling on a hamburger.

“Remember when Discord was here? He took my horn for one of his so called ‘tests’.” Twilight said.

“So you were like AppleJack then.” Spike assumed.

“I suppose you can say that.” Twilight said.

“How long were you two looking?” Spike asked.

"We were searching for, umm…. how long have we been looking, Flare?" Twilight asked.

I then took out my phone to check for the time. "20 minutes.”

"20 minutes." Twilight repeated.

"I just said that, you don't need to repeat it!" I complained.

"Spike? What are you eating?" Twilight asked as she saw Spike eating a hayburger.

"A burger." Spike said.

"I thought you were a vegetarian like us ponies?" Twilight asked.

"I am. It's a hayburger." Spike said.

"Where did you get that anyway?" Twilight asked.

"From the new barbecue joint across from Flare's Shop." Spike said.

"A B-B-Q joint trying to steal my business?!" I raged in anger.

"I don't think they're trying to steal your business, dude." Spike said.

"Oh sure, take their side!" I complained.

"I'm not taking their side.” Spike said. “I just-"

"Not another word! I'm gonna have a chat with whoever owns that place!" I said in an angry tone as I started marching out of Twilight's library.

“But Flare, what about…?” before Twilight could continue, I was already gone. "I guess I'm researching by myself after all."

"Yeah, good luck with that." Spike said as he walked away and continued eating. Twilight gives out a sigh and shakes her head. I marched over to the BBQ joint across from the pizza shop right away. I felt whoever set up a restaurant here is trying to get me out of business on purpose.

"Porker's BBQ? Now why does that name sound so familiar?” I asked to myself thinking of my past. “Meh, I could care less about the name.”

“Mmm mmm! I am stuffed UP!” Teacher’s Pet said as he walked out of the shop along with his friend Rumble.

“That was sure the best food I’ve ever had!” Rumble said pleasingly.

“Oh now he's asking for it! Angry face!” I said angrily as I marched into the shop, slammed the doors opened, and stomped my hooves as I walked over to the cash register.

"Welcome to Porker's BBQ! How many I help you?" the cashier asked.

"Don’t use that smooth talk on me, son! My friend says you so happened to set up this restaurant right across the street from MY pizza joint!” I shouted in his face.

“Umm…. Ok.” The cashier said nervously.

“So I have a little something to say to YOU!” I said as I sprayed on his face.

“Wh-what is that?” the cashier stuttered.

I leaned close to the cashier, so close he can feel my breath, but then I smiled and said, "I would like to try one of your tree ribs, with some hay fries on the side, dunked in ranch dressing, some garlic bread, and a half ‘n half iced tea."

"Oh.” The cashier said in relief. “That'll be 12 bits." I went through my pocket and gave him a 10 bit coin along with a 5 bit coin, since I had no singles with me.

"Keep the change!" I said. "A little welcoming gift for my new neighbor.”

"Oh, well thank you. Are you sure you don't want any singles?” the cashier asked.

“No thanks, I don’t wanna be in a relationship just yet; I gotta get my own life straighten out.” I said.

The cashier chuckled a bit and gave me the food I ordered. Have a nice evening, sir." He said.

"You too, man! You too!" I said as I walked over to a table near the window and I started eating my food. "Delish! It's been a while since I had B-B-Q. Oh great, I got pieces of rib stuck in my teeth.” I complained as I licked my teeth. “I hope this place has toothpicks.” I then took another bite out of the ribs, and I screamed. “OW! I bit my tongue real hard! OOH, that hurts! OW! Why is it when after I bite my tongue, my lip, or my cheek, it’s so easy to bite it again? Oh I hate that! Am I bleeding?”

As I was placing a napkin on my tongue to see if I was bleeding, the Wonderbolts flew down and walked inside the shop. I watched them as they walked to the cash register to order some food. "Oh look! It's the Wonderbolts! Rainbow Dash's favorite group! I should give her a call." I took out my cell phone right away and I started going through my phone book so I can give Rainbow Dash a call. It started to ring.

“Howdy! Y’all have reached the number of Red Engineer! No ah will not keep buildin’ dispensers for you just to make yer lives easier. Go ask another engineer. Other than that, please leave a message.” Engie’s answering machine said.

“Oh woops, wrong number. Red Engineer and Rainbow Dash are right next to eachother on my phonebook.” I said as I ended the call and went through my phone book again to find the right number.

Back at Rainbow Dash's place, Rainbow Dash is weeping on her pillow as her phone started to ring. Rainbow starts to calm down a bit as she blows her nose and she answers the phone.

"Hello?" Rainbow sniffled.

"Rainbow! You'll never guess who's here at the Porker's BBQ!" I yelled in excitement.

"I don't care, Flare." Rainbow said miserably.

"Oh you rhymed!" I pointed out.

"Look, I'm not in the mood right now, okay?" Rainbow asked.

"But you don't understand! It's the Won-" I was cut off by Rainbow Dash.

"I don't care right now. I'm sorry, but I'm a little too busy. Good-bye, Flare." Rainbow sniffled.

"WAIT! Rainbow Dash, it's the-" before I was able to finish, Rainbow Dash hangs up her phone and continues to cry.

I looked at my phone and saw the call ended. “Oh holy Wizard of Feelings. The one thing that was sure to cheer her up.” I said.

“Excuse me? Didn’t I overhear you mention the name Rainbow Dash?” Spitfire asked as she walked over to me along with Soarin and Fleetfoot.

“Who’s talkin’?” I asked in a mobster voice.

“We’re the Wonderbolts. I’m Spitfire, this is Soarin and Fleetfoot.” Spitfire introduced them.

“We know Rainbow Dash personally, and she is a pretty insane flyer.” Fleetfoot said.

“Hope she doesn’t go to the nuthouse for being an insane flyer.” I said. The Wonderbolts chuckled.

“That’s pretty funny, you know, we don’t normally like to just talk to our fans out of nowhere.” Spitfire said.

"Well don't think I'm one of those fans that go, 'AAAAH IT'S THE WONDERBOLTS! May I have your autograph? How do you fly so fast? Oh you're so cool! May we have a picture?'" I explained in a squeaky voice and fluttered some eyelashes that popped out of my eyes while I talked.

The Wonderbolts chuckled. “Would you mind if we sit with you?” Soarin asked.

“I suppose it won’t hurt, but I’m not sitting by the window. I prefer to be sitting on the outside. I’m that way on the bus too.” I explained as they sat down at my table.

“So, you watch our shows often?” Fleetfoot asked.

“Well, I do less then three you Wonderbolts. I mean, I’m not much of a fan as Rainbow, but I gotta say, I love your airshows. Like when you preformed the reenactment of World Party II.” I said

A cutaway shows a bunch of ponies chanting in German as they started dropping giant water balloons at doll-sized buildings below, and against them came the Wonderbolts and firing paint ball guns at them. The nazi ponies did the same, as there have been a few causalities from both ends, but since this is a reenactment, nopony was harmed. One of the Wonderbolts was carrying a huge bomb of some sort. “Ok, so when do I drop this?” that Wonderbolt asked.

“Wrong battle, dude, that’s the final battle.” Another Wonderbolt corrected him. The cutaway ends.

“Oh I love that reenactment!” Soarin said.

“Me too, it reminds me playing Partyfront, or the earlier Call of Party games.” I said.

“Yeah, the Call of Party games got lame after Chocolate Ops.” Soarin said.

“I-K-R?” I nodded.

"Say, don't I know you from somewhere?" Spitfire asked as she took a good look at me.

“I’m not much use of remembering, but if I can remember correctly, we met at the 2008 Nashorse Sprint race at Baytona International Speedway.” I reminded her.

Spitfire smiled. "That's right! You were the pony that made the funny jokes.”

"Lawl right, that’s me!” I said.

"Nice to see you again!” Spitfire said.

“So you know him, huh?” Fleetfoot asked

“Yeah, he was the stallion that made all the jokes. I told you about him one time.” Spitfire said to her.

“Wow that was the very first time I was worth mentioning by anypony! Except for that one time I had my mane dyed pink after I passed out in Pinkie Pie’s washing machine after that party she had, and I became a lasting stock for the past 8 weeks, but it was all worth it!” I said.

“Wow, I can already see you in a pink mane.” Spitfire said.

“I can see you as a blond.” Soarin said.

“Anyways, the main reason why we’re here talking to you is, we have a couple of questions for you about Rainbow Dash.” Spitfire said.

“Oh, so you’re not really here for me, you wanna know about Rainbow Dash. As I expected.” I said with an attitude.

“Don’t take it the wrong way, dude. We’re mainly interested in the best fliers in Equestria, and from what we can see, you’re a unicorn.” Spitfire said.

“So I take that you’re interested in earth ponies on jetpacks.” I assumed.

“Pegasi actually.” Spitfire corrected me.

"Pegasi on jetpacks?" I asked.

"No just pegasi in general." Spitfire corrected me.

“We want Rainbow Dash to become a cadet at our academy, but the thing is: we don’t have her address.” Fleetfoot said.

“And?” I asked.

”So we want you to give us her address.” Fleetfoot requested.

“I can’t just GIVE YOU her address without asking her fir-“ but before I could finish that sentence, my phone started ringing. “Oh hang on a sec.” I picked up the phone and answered it. “Sup brah?”

“Yeah, Flare, did ya call me? It says ah got a missed call from you.” Engie asked.

“Yeah I did, but it was an accident sorry. I meant to call Rainbow Dash.” I said.

”Oh… alright. No prob!” Engie said.

“B-T-W, what’s with that dispenser thing from your voice mail?” I asked.

“It’s just something Scout kept annoyin’ me about, don’t worry, partner.” Engie said.

“Alright, I’ll talk to you later, Engie.” I said as I hung up. “Anyways, I can’t just give you Rainbow’s address without asking her first.”

”We understand, but can you give her a call? You have her number, don’t you?” Soarin asked.

“I do, but she’s a wee bit upset right now, probably drowning in cider, and hopefully she doesn’t have a knife with her, so I’ll just ask her later if she’s not dead.” I said.

"Wait, what’s wrong with her?” Soarin asked.

"Well... there's this pony she liked back in flight school.” I explained. "They were both the best flyers in the school, and they got along perfectly, but... he left her."

"That's sad. You know, one of our members Misty Fly worked at that school by the time Rainbow Dash was in flight school." Soarin said.

"Now how is Misty Fly working at the school sad?” I asked.

"I meant when Rainbow Dash and her coltfriend went their separate ways." Soarin said.

"But they weren't going out, they were just best friends. Rainbow Dash didn't realize how much she missed him after she mentioned him after we were talking about special someponies." I explained.

"Oh, okay. Who's this friend of Dash anyway?" Spitfire asked.

"Blaze Goldheart." I said.

Soarin spit out his drink suddenly and sprayed it all over Fleetfoot and I. “Crud! That cashier gave me Diet Dr. Hooves!” he complained.

"Blaze Goldheart?" Spitfire asked.

"So you heard of Blaze?" I asked.

"Yeah he just joined the Wonderbolts not too long ago.” Spitfire said. “Little did I know he and Rainbow knew eachother.”

"You're bluffing." I said.

"No I'm not." Spitfire said.

"Seriously?" I asked.

"Yes, seriously.” Spitfire said.

"Like seriously actually?" I asked.

"Yes!" Spitfire said.

"Like seriously seriously with the actually actually?" I asked.

"YES!" Spitfire yeled. "How many times do I have to say that?"

“Until your last dying breath.” I said in a creepy tone.

“So, what about Blaze Goldheart you need information on?” Fleetfoot asked.

“I’m just looking for him, and try to set things right between him and Rainbow.” I said.

“Well, maybe we can take you to him.” Spitfire suggested.

“I wouldn’t. That Blaze Goldheart is such a jerk!” Soarin said.

“What do you mean?” Fleetfoot asked.

“He stole my academy record!” Soarin said.

“Hey quit being so jealous, Soarin. That may ruin your reputation at the academy even more.” Spitfire teased.

“Anyways, where is Blaze? I’d like to have a word with him.” I said.

"He's at our camp at Cloudsdale." Spitfire said.

"Alright, then after dinner I'll go to Cloudsdale so I can find Blaze.” I said.

"But you're a unicorn." Spitfire reminded me.

"Your point?" I asked.

"At Cloudsdale you need to be a pegasus." Spitfire said.

"Your point?" I asked.

"Because earth ponies and unicorns can't even get up there without a way up there. You need wings, or something." Spitfire explained.

"Your point?” I asked.

"Besides, Cloudsdale is a cloud city." Spitfire said.

"Hey! Just like Star Wars!" I said excitedly.

"If you set hoof on the city, you'll just fall right through the clouds." Spitfire said.

"Your point?" I asked.

"What's your point?" Spitfire asked as she smirked at me.

I then pointed to Spitfire. "This Spitty, this is my point."

Soarin starts laughing. "You’re right, Spitfire! This pony is a crack-up!”

"Whoa, I'm not trying to break you." I said.

"What?” Soarin asked.

"What?" I asked.

"What did you say?" Soarin asked.

"What did YOU say?" I asked.

"Nevermind." Soarin said.

“And let’s keep it that way.” I said.

“Hey we never got your name.” Spitfire said.

“Oh, the name’s Flar-ee.” I said.

“Wow, last time I met a Flar-ee, I was at Fluttershy’s fight club.” Fleetfoot said.

A cutaway shows a bunch of ponies at Fluttershy’s cottage, which was filled with mattresses and pillows all over the place. All the ponies were wearing fighting outfits, helmets, and pads all over their bodies. Fluttershy started explaining the rules; “Ok, so here are the rules of this fight club; number 1: no hitting below the belt. Number 2: no hitting above the belt. Number 3: Don’t use anything but your bare hooves.” Fluttershy’s bear friend shrugged. “Number 4: Don’t remove any of your safety pads. Number 5: no name calling, no taunting, and always say you’re sorry; and finally number 6: If somepony says ‘ow’, the game’s over. Are there any questions?”

“Yes, can you repeat the rules again?” Fleetfoot asked. The cutaway ends.

So the four of us finished our dinners and were ready to set off into the dusky sky. Spitfire takes hold of my shoulders as we flew all the way to Cloudsdale.

"I believe I can fly! I can fly higher than an eagle! You are the wind beneath my wings!” I sang.

“Oh that song brings tears to my eyes!” Soarin said as he got all teary eyed.

“Which song? I Believe I Can Fly or Wind Beneath My Wings, or the Drake rap I did a little while ago?” I asked.

“The Drake rap.” Soarin said.

"You know what Spitfire? What if I was a pegasus instead of a unicorn? NO, wait! I like being a unicorn." I said.

“Why? Being a Pegasus is pretty sweet! You can feel the wind upon your face, feel your adrenaline pump, and it makes you feel so alive!” Fleetfoot said.

“Yeah, but then I wouldn’t be able to use my possum grade awesome magical abilities! You cannot deny that being a unicorn is cool.” I said.

“I once always wanted to be an earth pony.” Soarin said.

“Why? They have nothing special.” I said.

“Yes they do. They’re the only ones that can grow crops, and are strong enough to do anything!” Soarin said.

“I see your point there, but how is Spitfire here so strong that she can hold me?” I asked.

“Trust me, I’m having a hard time holding you. How much do you weight?” Spitfire asked.

“190.” I said.

“You feel like 300.” Spitfire said.

“No, if I felt like 300, you would’ve had a much harder time holding me.” I corrected her.

“We’re here.” Fleetfoot said as we flew towards Cloudsdale and landed on one of the clouds. "You can let go now." I said.

”Are you sure?” Spitfire asked.

“Yes, since you’re walking on a cloud right now, there’s no reason I can’t.” I said

"Ok, suit yourself.” Spitfire said as she released me from her grip, and I started to fall right through the cloud and started free-falling. I was screaming as I was falling, but then I got rescued by Spitfire at the last second.

"I guess you need a helping hoof after all, huh Flare?” Spitfire winked at me.

"Why didn’t you tell me I could go right through the clouds?!" I yelled at her.

“I tried to warn you.” Spitfire said.

“I could’ve died!” I yelled.

“But you didn’t, right?” Spitfire asked.

“Well…. Yeah, I suppose.” I said.

“C’mon, let me take you to Blaze Goldheart.” Spitfire said as she flies herself and me back to the city and into their academy. "Welcome to the Wonderbolts Academy!" she said as she sets me down the runway.

“NOOOOO! DON’T LET GO!” I yelled.

“Relax, this isn’t a cloud, you’re fine.” Spitfire said.

“I’m really not liking this town. Why do pegasi get their own city they can live in, but unicorns and earth ponies can’t?! It’s ridiculous!” I complained.

“Don’t ask us, we’re just stunt flyers.” Fleetfoot said.

“I know, but still! Why can’t there be a city that unicorns and earth ponies have that’s only accessible to them?” I complained. See? I told you I was gonna mention this during this chapter. Remember back in chapter 8? Remember? Lawl remembers readers? Alright, I’m getting off-topic.

"Wow! Look at all these Wonderbolts! Which one is Blaze?" I asked

"I dunno. We'll have to find him using a megaphone.” Spitfire said.

"I have one in handy." Crescent Moon said as he gives Spitfire his megaphone.

“Thank you, Crescent!” Spitfire takes the megaphone and activates it. "Wonderbolts? May I have your attention please? I'm looking for Blaze Goldheart. There's a pony here to see you. I repeat, Blaze Goldheart. There's a pony here to see you! Please report to the runway!”

"That pony's got a name you know." I reminded her.

"Flare Gun! Flare Gun’s here to see you!” Spitfire yelled. In case you’re wondering how she got my actual name, I told her it while we were eating.

Just then, a gray pony with a curly and wavely red and yellow mane and tail, with a phoenix cutie mark, and wearing a wonderbolt's outfit flew over to Spitfire and I.

"Captain Spitfire." Blaze said as he saluted. "How can I help you?"

"This pony wishes to speak with you." Spitfire said.

"Okay. What’s going on, man?” Blaze asked me.

"Flare's the name, and video is my game. Lion face." I said.

"Oooookay." Blaze said. "Nice to meet you Flare. My name is Blaze Goldheart."

"Yeah I know who you are, brah.” I said.

"How?” Blaze asked.

“I’m here under Rainbow Dash’s request.” I said.

Blaze’s eyes opened wide and he thought to himself for a few moments. “Captain Spitfire, may I speak with this pony in private?”

“Of course, if you need me, I’ll be in the locker rooms making sure none of the cadets whip eachother with towels. I know it’s a cool way to whip ponies into shape, but they keep falling apart, and we just can’t afford to keep buying new shipments.” Spitfire said as she flew off.

“So Rainbow Dash hasn’t forgotten about me, huh?” Blaze asked.

“Why did you leave her, brah? Why did you have to run away? Is it because she’s pregnant?” I asked.

“WHAT?!” Blaze yelled.

“Oh, so you didn’t know, and B-T-W, she has no foals so don’t worry.” I said.

“Why did Rainbow send you here, and how does she know I’m here?” Blaze asked.

“She doesn’t.” I said.

“Oh. Well, I’m sorry man, but I can’t see her. I have left her, and she’s not going to wanna see me, so you’re wasting your time here, Flare.” Blaze said.

“Why did you leave her though, Blaze? Why?” I asked.

“You think I had a choice?” Blaze asked.

“There’s always a choice, and you choose to leave her.” I said.

“Dude, that day was probably the worst day of my life, and probably the worst decision I had to come by.” Blaze said.

“Why? Were you forced to leave?” I asked.

“As a matter of fact, I was.” Blaze said.

“Why?” I asked.

“Because those years at Flight School have been the worst for me. Everypony knew I was different. I was bullied, thrown into trash bins, stuffed into lockers, until my inner power has awaken. I’ve done so many terrible things. Rainbow Dash was the only pony who would accept me. She’s the most loyal of all ponies, and I was forever grateful. I… I loved her. Until one day, ponies started destroying my home, calling me a freak of nature, so I packed my things and I had to leave Cloudsdale forever. I moved far away into the outer reaches of Equestria. I had to get away from everypony, because I knew they would see me a freak, and you know what, I agreed with them, but my parents thought otherwise. My mom was a dragon, and my dad was a pony. We all left home, away from everypony else, because everypony neglected my father, and every dragon neglected my mother. So we moved away from everypony, and it was just the three of us, all alone.” Blaze explained.

“So why did you come back?” I asked.

“You see, my father used to be a Wonderbolt so he was a fantastic flyer, teaching me everything he knows, but one day, we were found by the haters.” Blaze said.

“Eww the haters! The anti-bronies!” I said.

“They tried to hunt us down, but my mother and I were able to get away, but my father… he had to sacrifice his life to save us. He gave me his Wonderbolt outfit, and I knew I couldn’t keep running from my problems, so I moved back to Cloudsdale, became a Wonderbolt. Nopony in Cloudsdale remembers me, thank Celestia!” Blaze explained.

”And Luna.” I added.

“But nopony knows my secret, and… wait, why did I just tell you everything? I don’t even know you, and you know my secret!” Blaze said.

“Yeah, and?” I asked.

”So you’re going to call me a freak, and destroy everything I’ve ever loved, aren’t you?” I asked.

“Why would I do that?” I asked.

“Because everypony hates me. I’m a draconian, half-dragon, half-pony. That species has been extinct thousands of years ago, and I’m the first of my kind after centuries, and also the last.” Blaze said.

“You know, for all the backstories I’ve been hearing from all my friends, it makes it seem my life was just a walk in the park.” I said.

“What do you mean?” Blaze asked.

“I’ve been bullied too because I’m different. I mean, I’m not a cross-bread, but mentally I’m different. I’m called stupid, unfunny, annoying, but you think I can help it? Rainbow Dash has taught me a lot so I can change, and you know what, brah? I think she can help you too.” I said.

“You really think she’ll want to see me?” Blaze asked.

“Blaze, she’s at home, crying her eyes out because she misses you so much. Yes, she has forgotten about you for some years, but… deep down, she truly needs you. She needs you brah, go to her!” I said.

Blaze thought to himself and a tear dropped out of his eye. “You’re right, man. I have to see her. I left her once, and I’m not going to leave her again! Flare, hold my hoof.”

”Umm, yeah I’m not really into that sort of thing.” I said embarrassingly.

“COME ON!” Blaze yelled as he held onto my hoof and flew back down to Ponyville so we can see Rainbow. “Ok, Flare, show me where Rainbow’s living these days.”

“I didn’t even say she was in Ponyville, how do you know she’s here?” I asked.

“Umm, I really don’t know.” Blaze said.

"Okay, you see that house over there?" I pointed to a log cabin.

“Yeah.” Blaze said.

“A cranky donkey lives there.” I said.

“Oooook.” Blaze said.

“And over there is Rainbow’s mansion.” I pointed out.

"The one on the cloud?" Blaze asked.

"No the one on my head." I said sarcastically. "Of course the one on the cloud! That's Rainbow Dash's house."

“Wow, she lives in a mansion. Her life was amazing without me, maybe I shouldn’t go.” Blaze said.

“BRAH! All that means nothing to her! She needs YOU!” I reminded him.

“Right.” Blaze agreed as he landed on the cloud still carrying me. “What do I do?”

"Look just let me get Dash's attention. Then when she sees you and wants to talk to you, you can set me down so you two can have a little... private time. Winky face." I said.

"Alright Flare." Blaze agreed.

"RAINBOW DASH HELP! FLUTTERSHY'S IN TROUBLE!" I yelled.

"Seriously? I didn't think you'd mean it like that." Blaze said.

Rainbow Dash dashes out of her house. "Where is she Flare?! What's happened to her?! If somepony is picking on her, I’ll make sure they have been-" Rainbow becomes silent after she sees Blaze.

"B-Blaze?" Rainbow said in shock. "Is that you?"

"Rainbow Dash?" Blaze said in a shock. Blaze then accidentally lets go of me and I started falling towards the ground, but Blaze wasn't paying attention though, he was too shock into seeing Rainbow Dash again.

Just as I smashed into the ground I yelled, "I'm okay! My leg is just a little twisted is all!”

Rainbow Dash hugged Blaze real tight and started crying again. "I'm so happy you're back! I waited for you for a long time! Wishing for you to come back and race along side me again!"

"I'm sorry Rainbow." Blaze said. "I had to get away from it all. All the hate and all the ponies calling me a freak, I couldn't live like that anymore.”

"I'm sorry, Blaze. It was my fault. I should've been there for you." Rainbow said.

"No, you belong here." Blaze said.

"Why did you come back?" Rainbow asked.

"Before I left Ponyville, I went to see you one last time at your house." Blaze started. "I wanted to say good-bye to you, and... tell you how I really feel, but... you were really upset. You kept yelling, 'Blaze don't leave, I love you!' That's when I realized you actually loved me back. I didn't want to say good-bye to you, because... it would be too hard. So I just blew a kiss and flew off, and never looked back. I left town with my family. We left and didn't come back until many years later. I was living in exile ever since.”

“Oh no! What is this on my leg?!” I yelled from below. “I don’t know what that is sticking out! Holy Wizard of Hope, I think I need to go to the hospital!”

“Rainbow, I promise I’ll never leave you again.” Blaze promised.

“You better not, or I’ll kill you!” Rainbow said as she hugged him again.

“Aw man! I think I bit my tongue again! Is it split in two? How sharp are my teeth?!” I yelled from below.

“Rainbow Dash, will… you marry me?” Blaze asked.

Rainbow started tearing up again. “Yes… yes I will!”

“Are you sure that’s going to be accepted by Hasbro?!” I yelled.

"I learned my lesson, Rainbow. You cannot run away from your problems, because they'll just follow you wherever you go. You just have to find a way to find a solution to them." Blaze said.

"There always is a solution, Blaze. Never give up on finding it." Rainbow said.

"I won't, not ever again." Blaze said.

“I love you, Blaze.” Rainbow said.

“I love you too, Rainbow.” Blaze said. Just then they gave eachother big smooch.

“I… I don’t feel so good! Everything’s going blurry. I feel… so cold!” I yelled from below. And so, despite the canon of Rainbow Dash’s life, Blaze and her got themselves married. They spend the rest of their lives together in secret from Hasbro. Blaze kept his job at the Wonderbolts, that’s why he’s not seen with her that often, and Rainbow’s life went back to normal. Rainbow Dash was finally happy, Blaze was at peace, and what happened to me? Well… I died after Blaze left me down there for so long, and that’s the end of Friendship is Epic.

HA! I’m kidding! I’ll be right back in the next chapter! GOOD NIGHT, EVERYPONY!

Author's Note

Here's the remake of the Rainbow Crush chapter, the chapter we meet the one and only: Blaze Goldheart. This chapter's story remained the same but some content changed. Instead of just Spitfire meeting Flare at Porker's BBQ, I included Soarin and Fleetfoot, and also Spitfire had a good reason for talking to Flare, since he mentioned Rainbow Dash's name, and we all know the Wonderbolts are interested in a pony like Rainbow Dash! I know the canon of Rainbow Dash's life seemed different in this story, but I only did this for a friend of mine. Trust me, you'd probably do the same if you really cared about your friends! I also changed the ending, because I thought the original ending was kinda stupid, so I changed to the ending you see now. Also, if you haven't noticed, it reveals that Blaze is a draconian now, because originally we weren't suppose to find out until later, but I would've thought it would be necessary to mention that now.

Now that we introduced the six main characters of the story, it's almost time to form their group!

Pinkie Promise

Five days went by, and Rainbow Dash was at the park with her pet tortise, Tank. They were playing a game of chess. Rainbow Dash moved her castle to the middle of the board. "Ha! Take that!" Rainbow yelled. Just then, Tank moved his bishop to Dash's castle, and it was also close to Dash's king, and the king had nowhere else to go, so it was check-mate. "WHAT?!" Tank then smiled at Dash. "How can it be checkmate?! I had my king covered by my brook, and... I just remembered, I hate chess!" Dash picked up the board and threw it across the park and while Derpy was skipping by with a blueberry pie in her hoof. The board hit her head and she fell, and her face was stuffed in the pie. Derpy got back up and licked the pie outta her face.

"Alright, Tank. We did what you wanted. Now we do what I want to do. Last one to the playground is turtle stew! HA!" Suddenly, Rainbow and Tank started racing over to the playground. Rainbow started flying there faster than the speed of gravity, while Tank walked there slower than the speed of Internet Explorer. Rainbow was so close to getting there, and she could feel the victory in her veins. "HA! Nothing can stop the great Rainbow Dash!"

"HI RAINBOW!" Pinkie Pie yelled as she popped out of nowhere from in front of Rainbow. Rainbow crashes into Pinkie and they both collapsed to the ground. "What are you doing, Pinkie?"

"I came to invite you and Blaze to my totally fun, totally awesome birthday party tomorrow!" Pinkie said as she gives her two invitations.

"Alright, cool! I guess we're down." Rainbow said as she takes the invitation. "I expected you to sing and dance before you gave me the invitation."

"I was going to, but you crashed into me and I twisted my hoof!" Pinkie said as she giggled.

"Oh, sorry, Pinkie. You want me to take you to get that hoof looked at?" Rainbow asked.

"It's ok, Dashie! Today is also a special holiday I made up!" Pinkie said.

"And what might that be?" Rainbow asked.

"Hop With Only Three Hooves Day! I twisted the hoof I had in the air already." Pinkie said as she lifted her left hind hoof.

"Right." Rainbow said.

"Anyways, I'll see you tomorrow! Bye!" Pinkie starts singing to herself and hops away with one of her hooves in the air.

"Alright, Tank! This time you're going to-" Rainbow Dash stopped and saw Tank already at the playground so he won the race. Tank smiled at Rainbow, and she smirked at him. "Oh, it's on now! Best 2 outta 3!"

Meanwhile over at AppleJack's place, AppleJack puts on a karate outfit and a headband, along with a brown belt, she turns on epic fighting music on her boombox, and she starts yelling out a battlecry and charges to her fields and starts bucking apples right of the trees, karate style. Kicking and punching the trees until every apple falls into the buckets around the trees. Once she finishes, she stands in place and bows.

"HEY APPLEJACK!" Pinkie yelled as she pops out of nowhere which surprises AppleJack and she accidentally kicks her in the nose.

"Whoa nelly!" AppleJack yelled. "Pinkie, ah apologize deeply! Ah didn't know y'all were behind me, but ya know perfectly well that ah don't like to be disturbed while ah'm workin'."

"It's ok, AppleJack!" Pinkie said as she checked her nose to see if it was bleeding. "Oh cool, ketchup!"

"Ya need a paper towel for that bleeding nose, sugarcube?" AppleJack asked.

"I'm ok, AJ! Ooo I rhymed!" Pinkie said excitedly.

"Are ya sure? Because ya look worse than Ellen Buckin!" AppleJack said.

"And you look worse than AppleJack." Pinkie said.

"What?" AppleJack asked.

"What?" Pinkie asked.

"Alright yer confusin' me, Pinkie. What do ya need?" AppleJack asked.

"I'm inviting you to my birthday party!" Pinkie said as she gives AppleJack an invitation.

"Your birthday, huh?" AppleJack takes the invitation and nods. "Well just to let ya know: ya did surprise me earlier, and you're the one that's supposed to be surprised, not me."

Pinkie giggled. "Well today's not my birthday silly! It's tomorrow!"

"Heh! Yeah, alright, thanks!" AppleJack said.

"You're welcome! Bye!" Pinkie waves as she hops off to Twilight's library to invite her to her party. Over at her house, Twilight was producing a new experiment and Spike was her test monkey.

"Alright. Drink this." Twilight instructed Spike.

Spike takes a look at the potion Twilight made, and he sticks out his tongue. "Blah! Looks worse than corn, chili, and socks mixed with cream spinach." he said.

"C'mon, Spike, I need to make sure this new breakfast drink Zecora wanted me to make actually works, and you volunteered to be the test subject, now drink." Twilight demanded.

"Can't your other test subject do it?" Spike asked.

"My only other test subject is Tom Hanks and he has diabetes." Twilight said.

"I'd drink it, but I have to get some blood work in a bit." Tom Hanks said.

"I'll give you a Spikey snack if you drink this." Twilight promised.

"R'okay!" Spike said excitedly as he drank up the whole potion.

"This drink will surely give you all the vitamins, minerals, calories and proteins you need to start your day!" Twilight said.

"LAAAAAME! How about you just drink Ensure?" Pinkie suggested as she pops out of nowhere and shows Twilight and Spike an Ensure bottle. "It's full of protein, vitamins, minerals, and reviger! It's perfect for mornings, afternoons, nights, before and after meals!"

A cutaway shows Pinkie on a bicycle while holding an Ensure bottle. "Or when you're on the go!" she shouted. The cutaway ends.

"Hey can I try that potion? Thank you!" Pinkie snatches the potion from Spike and gulps it down. "Mmmm! Tastes like blackberries!" Just then, Pinkie's face swells up. "And I'm allergic to black berries." She then spits the whole thing back in the cup and her body returns to normal (besides her swollen nose).

"So what you need, Pinkie, and what happened to your nose?" Twilight asked.

"Well, will you guys come to my party tomorrow? None of that stuff potion stuff is there! Just cake, ice cream, pizza; you'll love it!" Pinkie explained as she gave Twilight and Spike invitations.

"Alright! Sure. I have nothing else to do tomorrow." Twilight said.

"I do. I'll be NOT having barf potion!" Spike said to Pinkie while glaring at Twilight.

"Alright, now can you tell me what's wrong with your nose?" Twilight asked.

"I just did. Now if you want, I can tell you why I came here." Pinkie said.

"Umm, alright, why did you come here?" Twilight asked.

"To invite you to my super fun birthday party tomorrow!" Pinkie said as she gave Twilight and Spike more invitations.

"Oh, well... alright!" Twilight said.

"Double the invitations means double the fun!" Spike said.

"Spike please." Luna rolled her eyes and said.

"Luna? When did you get here?" Spike asked.

"I'm here to borrow a book from Twilight about these so called 'Tacos'. I never had them since I got banished." Luna said.

"Okay! See you tomorrow!" Pinkie said as she took a big gulp from the potion Twilight made and hopped back outside. She ran back inside again to spit the potion back into the cup, and she runs back out.

"Ok, I am definitely not drinking this now." Spike said.

Meanwhile over at Fluttershy's place; Rarity, Fluttershy, Aqua, and Engie were playing a game of scrabble. It was Rarity's turn, so she was thinking of what to spell. Rarity smiled and spelled 'B-E-A-N' right next to the word 'N-E-T-W-O-R-K'. "Bean." Rarity said. "Not something I like to eat, but still I got the word!"

"Why not?" Aqua asked.

"The results?" Rarity reminded him.

"Oh." Aqua nodded.

"Yeah." Rarity said.

"Well ah got a word for y'all!" Engie said as he added 'B-A-G' after 'BEAN'. "BEANBAG! In your faces!"

"Oh... dear." Fluttershy said as she got a little spooked by what Engie said.

"Calm down, Engie, it's only a game." Aqua said.

"What? Ya just jealous that ah'm the test speller 'round 'ere, Aqua?!" Engie yelled.

"Is he always like this when he plays games?" Rarity whispered to Aqua.

"He's alot worse when we play Life." Aqua said.

A cutaway shows Engie playing Life with Aqua, Crystal, and I. Engie spins and moves his car piece across the board. "HA! BABY BOY! Ah already got four children already! Ah rule at this game! Y'all SUCK at Life!" he yelled at us.

"He's right." Crystal said upsettingly. The cutaway ends.

"I bet Twilight would like this game. If she hasn't played it, she'd really have fun with it." Fluttershy said.

"Maybe we can play this game at my party tomorrow!" Pinkie said as she popped out from under the Scrabble board and gave everypony invitations.

"Aw c'mon! Ah was winnin'!" Engie complained.

"Oh right, it's your birthday tomorrow!" Fluttershy remembered.

"I have lots more board games like this. Maybe I can bring some." Fluttershy suggested. "There's Monopoly, Life, Trouble, Sorry..."

"Now that kind party sounds 'boring'. Heh, get it? Boring? Because it's a 'board game'?" Engie teased. Everypony just glared at him. "Y'all are buzzkills."

"Okay! I'll see ya guys there!" Pinkie said excitedly.

"Wait, Pinkie, dear? What happened to your nose?" Rarity asked.

"Oh this? It's just a little dirt." Pinkie said as she wipes off the make-up on her nose to make it look like it was swollen. "AppleJack accidentally kicked me in the nose and it got all dirty."

"What about the blood?" Aqua asked.

"It was ketchup, I had a carrot dog today." Pinkie said.

"It sure looked swollen before." Flutters said.

"Well, at least we got this misunderstanding carried out, and I'll see you at my birthday party tomorrow!" Pinkie said as she hops away. While everypony was distracted with Pinkie, Engie was changing the points on the scrabble card.

"Wait, what are ya doing, Engie?" Aqua asked.

"Ah had 23 points, Fluttershy has 14, Rarity has 12, and you have 8." Engie said.

"No, if I remember correctly, I had 17 points." Rarity corrected him.

"Nope, it says so right here. You have 12." Engie said.

"Actually, I remember the whole score sheet. Rarity was 17, Aqua was 16, you were at 19, and I was at 18." Fluttershy said.

"Nope." Engie said.

"Yeah, I remember correctly." Flutters said.

"You can't go wrong with Fluttershy's memory, darling." Rarity said.

"No, no, ah was at 23." Engie said. The four of them started to argue about the points, but when the arguing got out of hoof, Engie tears up the paper and throws it out the window. "Alright, alright, see? Now everypony's points is just dust in the wind."

"Oh yeah, that's real mature." Aqua said sarcastically.

“Yeah, well, who comes out a winner? That’s right me!” Engie stands up and starts making audience cheer sound effects, and he yells out, “Haaa haaaa – Engie once again – haaa haaaa – undefeated champion of the world – haaaaaa haaaaaa, ha ha haaaaaa!” Aqua just facehoofed himself, Rarity sighed and rolled her eyes, and Fluttershy just smiled embarrassingly. I was the last one Pinkie needed to invite. I was inside my trailer, and playing on my computer. My fish Darrel was the first to notice Pinkie crawling around my hallway.

“Oh, oh, look, look!” Darrel pointed out.

“What is it, Darrel?” Dorthey asked.

“I… I saw something. I saw something!” Darrel said.

“What did you see?” Dorthey asked.

“Saw… saw a pink thing, saw a pink thing!” Darrel said.

“What pink thing?” Pearl asked.

“Is it edible?” Yoyo asked.

“Not sure, but I saw a pink thing in the hallway.” Darrel said.

“I’m looking there right now, and I can’t see a thing.” Rainbow said.

“All I see is a jerk blocking my view. Get out of the way!” Piddles yelled at his reflection.

“There it goes again!” Darrel yelled as Pinkie snuck from door to door over at my hallway. “Big red guy! Hey! You have an intruder!”

“He can’t hear you, Darrel.” Dorthey reminded him.

“Maybe I should speak louder. HEY! RED GUY! LOOK OUTSIDE!” Darrel yelled even louder.

“He can’t understand you.” Dorthey reminded him.

“Maybe he can understand you. Go ahead Dorthey, yell out for him.” Darrel instructed her.

“He’s not gonna understand any of us.” Dorthey said.

“Yeah, if he did understand us, I would tell him to feed me some shrimpies.” Yoyo said.

“Hey, Yoyo, there should be plenty of food in the sewers. How about you go down there?” Pearl asked.

“Sounds like a good idea, Pearl! How do I get down there?” Yoyo asked.

“Play dead.” Piddles said.

“I dunno if it’s gonna work. Sometimes I sleep upside down and Flare is always scared for my life, until he finally got used to it. Hey, I got a lot of food because he thought I was hungry when I was laying down like that, and you know what? He was right.” Yoyo explained.

“Trust me; if you try it real well, I’m sure he’ll fall for it.” Piddles said.

“Alright!” Yoyo said as he starts floating to the top of the tank.

“The pink thing is getting closer!” Darrel yelled. “I just saw it go into the closet!”

“Darrel, calm down, you might just be seeing things.” Rainbow said.

“HI FLARE!” Pinkie yelled as she popped out of nowhere and made me fall of my office chair.

“See? Told you!” Darrel said.

“I must admit, you have a sharp eye. Maybe you should take over the night shift.” Rainbow suggested.

“What are you watching on your computer? Is that… are you looking at images of shopping carts?” Pinkie asked as she looked at my computer.

“That is none of your concern!” I quickly stood up and closed the browser. “How did you get in here? How did you get passed my security system?”

“The door was already opened a crack.” Pinkie said.

“Oh. Well then. What do you need, Pinks?” I asked.

“I want to invite you to my birthday party tomorrow!” Pinkie said as she gave me an invitation.

“Isn’t easier to just send me an email?” I asked.

“Silly, Flare! I can’t see my friends with emails, duh!” Pinkie said.

“If you have a webcam, then you can Skype chat.” I said.

“How can I hug you then?” Pinkie asked.

“You want a hug?” I asked.

“Oh no thanks, I had a big dessert. I couldn’t eat another bite.” Pinkie said as she rubbed her tummy.

“So it’s your birthday tomorrow, huh? I haven’t been to a birthday party since I performed a magic show for a blind a young colt.” I said.

A cutaway shows me doing the card magic trick with a young colt at his birthday party. “Is this your card?” I asked as I showed him a six of spades.

“I don’t know.” The colt said.

“Is it a black card?” I asked.

“I don’t know what black is.” The colt said.

“Ta da!” I embarrassingly said to the other foals who watched. The cutaway ends.

“So how old are you going to be?” I asked.

“Well, they say I have the body of a 20 year old.” Pinkie said.

“DO you have a body of a 20 year old?” I asked.

“You have no evidence of me having one.” Pinkie teased as she suspiciously moved her eyes back and forth.

“You better get rid of the body, stat!” I whispered.

“Nah, I like it too much.” Pinkie whispered.

“I like it too.” I whispered.

“Thank you. Do you have a body of a 20 year old?” Pinkie asked.

“A bit, yeah.” I whispered.

“I like it too.” Pinkie whispered.

“Thank you.” I whispered.

“So you coming to my birthday tomorrow?” Pinkie whispered.

“Affirmative.” I whispered.

“Good. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Pinkie whispered as she slowly started backing away towards the door.

“You know, a lot of mares have been visiting lately, I’m surprised he doesn’t have a marefriend yet.” Piddles said.

The next day came, and everypony was going to Sugarcube Corner for Pinkie's birthday party. Everypony was talking, dancing, playing board games, and video games. "Happy Birthday, Pinkie! This is a fun party!" Aqua said.

"It is! So who's up for a game of Shoots and Ladders?" Blaze Goldheart suggested.

"Ooooh! Sounds like fun!" Pinkie said.

“So where’s my gun?” I asked.

“What?” Blaze asked.

“Where’s my gun? This is Shoots and Ladders. Where’s my gun?” I asked.

“You don’t use guns in this game, man. It’s a board game. Shoots means slides.” Blaze said.

“So if I slide across the floor, it’s actually considered shooting across the floor?” I asked.

“I suppose.” Blaze said.

“Anyways, this is a really fun party, Pinkie! You’re a natural in making these things!” Psyche said.

“Thanks, Psyche! I didn’t make it though.” Pinkie said.

“Oh? Who did then?” Psyche asked.

“Gummy did!” Pinkie said as Gummy crawls by and starts chewing on Psyche’s tail.

“Ah! So he did.” Psyche said as he shakes his tail to the front of him so he can take a good look at Gummy. “How did you come hold of Gummy anyway?”

“Oh when I first saw him, and when he first saw me, I knew we would be friends forever!” Pinkie said.

A cutaway shows Pinkie outside near a pond. She bends over and takes a sniff of some flowers by the pond. Gummy peeks his eyes out of the pond and locks them on Pinkie. Gummy swims over towards Pinkie, and Pinkie was still sniffing the flowers. Gummy opens his mouth and reveals his very sharp baby teeth. He was just about to pounce onto Pinkie. Once he does so, Pinkie immediately stood up and looked at an incoming butterfly. Gummy misses Pinkie completely and his mouth smashes into a rock, shattering all his teeth in the process. “Oh no!” Pinkie said as she spots Gummy on the rock, who is in pain. She picks him up and smiles. “You poor thing, you look like you’re in pain! Where’s your mommy? Aww, are you an orphan? Well don’t worry little guy, I’ll take good care of you! We’re gonna have so much fun together.” Pinkie places Gummy on her back. “You know, most alligators would bite pony’s heads off, but you aren’t like any other alligator. We’re going to be best friends forever!” The cutaway ends.

"Alright everypony! Cake's here!" Mrs. Cake said as she rolls in a big pink cake on a cart.

"NO! The cake is a lie!” Engie yelled.

“Actually, the cake is the truth. It appeared in the end of the game.” Crystal corrected him.

“She’s right.” Psyche said.

“Of course I’m right. Have I ever not been right?” Crystal asked.

A cutaway shows Crystal showing Tom Cat some pictures on a chalk board of Jerry Mouse. “As you can see, Tom, this is why you need to catch this mouse.”

“Why can’t we just get along though? I don’t wanna hurt the little guy.” Tom asked.

“Tom, cats eat mice, and you know he’s gonna laugh at you if you don’t chase him.” Crystal said.

“Yeah, but I don’t see what the big deal is over it.” Tom said.

“But Tom, you may not know it, but this mouse is a terrorist. He’ll cause great destruction if you don’t take him out.” Crystal said.

“He is?” Tom asked.

“Yes, and only you can stop him!” Crystal said.

“Well, that completely changes everything. I’ll kill that mouse one way or another!” Tom said. “But wait, won’t it be dangerous?”

“You’re a clever cat, I’m sure you’ll find a way to catch him. It won’t take you 65 years, and you have insurance.” Crystal said.

“Alright, so what do I do?” Tom asked.

“Use your imagination. Do what no cat ever does. Hint hint: dynamite.” Crystal whispered. The cutaway ends.

"Cake time!" Mrs. Cake said as she takes out a cake and rolls it in front of Pinkie. Pinkie then inhales and gets ready to blow the candles, but she takes out a table fan and uses the fan to blow the candles.

"Oooooh! Clever, clever!” Rarity nodded.

"This birthday is amazing!" Pinkie yelled as she stuffed her face into the cake. She takes her face off the cake, and her face was splattered in frosting. "This cake is delicious!"

"Yeah, it would be better if there was some for us though." AppleJack suggested.

"Don't worry, I have another one! We always come prepared.” Mr. Cake said.

"That cake is a lie too!" Engie said. Mr. Cakes cuts the cake and gives everypony a slice.

"Aww! Vanilla? I wanted chocolate!" Spike whined.

"Sorry, Spike. Pinkie ate the chocolate one." Mr. Cake said. Pinkie was still gobbling up the cake she stuffed her face in. Some of the cake got splattered in Fluttershy’s face.

“Oh Fluttershy, ya alright?” Aqua asked as he picks up a napkin and gives it to her.

“Oh, it’s alright, Aqua. I don’t mind.” Flutters said as she takes the napkin and wipes her face.

“I do though. Gives me flashbacks of my late mother.” Aqua said.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Flutters said as she quickly cleaned her face off with all the napkins she can find.

“Umm, I didn’t say I didn’t like it. I preferred you kept it li- nevermind.” Aqua said.

"So Pinkie, we got presents here if you want to open some.” Blaze suggested.

"PRESENTS!” Pinkie yelled as she lifted her face up from the cake and runs to the carpet where are her presents are. "PRESENTS! PRESENTS PRESENTS!"

“Umm, Pinkie, you got a little something…” Twilight informed her as she pointed to her face.

“Yeah, that's a face." Pinkie said.

“No, you just got a little…” Twilight pointed to her face again.

“Oooooh, I got something on my face!” Pinkie understood as she licked all the leftover cake from her face with her long tongue. “Always room for leftovers!”

"Open mine first. It's totally awesome!" Rainbow suggested as she gave her a present.

"Alright!" Pinkie said as she quickly opens Dash's present. Pinkie smiled big, and then she ran to Dash and hugged her. "Oh thank you, thank you, thank you, Rainbow!"

"Yeah, you're welcome.... Pinkie." Rainbow said as Pinkie was still hugging her tight. "Yeah. Alright. There, there, Pinkie!" Pinkie still continued hugging Rainbow and Rainbow started to feel a little uncomfortable. "Alright, Pinkie. That's enough. Thank you. Pinkie? That's enough now."

"I'M NOT DONE YET!" Pinkie yelled as she still hugged Rainbow tightly. Rainbow just stood there and rolled her eyes, and then eventually, she finally lets go. "There we go! Liked it?"

"Uhhh.... yeah. It was great, Pinkie!" Rainbow said in an uncomfortable tone.

"I've always wanted a pair of cupcake slippers!" Pinkie yelled as she held out the cupcakes slippers Rainbow gave her. Pinkie reaches over and observes another present. "Ooo! This one is rectangular shaped, which means it's a good one!" Pinkie Pie unwraps the present and inside it contained a white box. "A BOX?! I'VE ALWAYS WANTED A BOX! Thanks, Rarity!" Pinkie cried as she ran over to Rarity and hugged her.

"You're quite welcome, darling!" Rarity said. "But the box isn't the present. It's what's in the box!"

"Oh, silly me!" Pinkie said as she bops herself in the head, and then hops back to the box and opens it, and it reveals to be a big pink and yellow dress with cupcakes and cookies on them. "Wow, Rarity! This is very pretty!"

"I made it myself! It'll be perfect for the next Grand Galloping Gala.” Rarity said.

"We’re going to the Gala again?! Nice!" Pinkie yelled in excitement. "Thank you so much! Okay, who's next?" Pinkie reaches over and grabs a small present. "Oh it's small.”

“It could be bigger on the inside though!” Blaze teased.

“Oooo, fancy!" Pinkie said as she starts unwrapping the present and it reveals a book. "Guide to Best Parties, for dummies?” Pinkie was a little confused on the present Twilight gave her. “Rarity, I think this belongs to one of the dummies at your shop."

Twilight giggled. "You're so silly, Pinkie! I gave you this book so you can make your parties alot better!" she said.

"What's wrong with the parties I throw?" Pinkie asked.

"There's nothing wrong with them." Twilight said. "I mean, if you want them to be beyond amazing, then you should read this book! It has 1000 pages of pure party information to make parties as fun as they can be! The odds of you reading this book and throwing a party after are-"

"Hi I'm Twilight! WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS!" I teased as everypony started to laugh. Twilight just glared at me.

“Nice one, man! That was hilarious!” Blaze said.

“You found it funny?” I asked.

“I did!” Blaze said.

“No you didn’t.” I teased.

“I did though!” Blaze said.

“You sure?” I asked.

“I’m sure.” Blaze said.

“Positive?” I asked.

“Yes.” Blaze said.

“Positively sure?” I asked.

“YES!” Blaze yelled.

“Positively positively surely sure?” I asked. Blaze just sighs and just facehooves himself. “That doesn’t answer my question.” I said.

“Heh; alright, Flare, calm down.” AppleJack said as she patted me on the shoulder.

"Alright, Twilight! This book will be perfect for the collection of books you give me all the time for my birthday and Hearth's Warming!" Pinkie said and giggled. "Thanks, Twilight!" Pinkie hugged Twilight. "Oh look at this one! It's from AppleJack!" Pinkie unwraps AJ's present and inside revealed to be a hat. “You’re giving me your hat?”

“Oh that’s not mah hat. Ah got it for you. Ah wouldn’t give this baby away for anythin’ in the world.” AppleJack said as she patted her hat.

"Thanks, AppleJack!" Pinkie said as she hugged her.

"Yer welcome, sugarcube!" AppleJack said.

"Ah! This one is from Fluttershy!" Pinkie said as she opened the present she gave her.

"Oh, be careful with it. I mean, if that's okay." Flutters asked.

"OH MY GOSH! I'M GONNA RIP THIS THING OPENED!" Pinkie yelled as she started unwrapping the present like a raged psycho. Fluttershy started shaking in feer.

"Oh, be careful Pinkie. I mean, if that's alright. The present is, um, kinda fragile." Flutters explained. Pinkie opened the box and smiled. "Those are little glass statues of each of us. Do you like them? I mean... it's okay if you don't."

"I don't like them." Pinkie said.

"Oh... sorry...." Fluttershy said sadly.

“Don’t listen to her, Flutters. She’s gonna yell ‘I love them’ in a second.” I whispered to her.

"I ADORE THEM!" Pinkie yelled.

“Meh, close enough.” I whispered.

Pinkie picks up Fluttershy, hugs her, and spins her around. "THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!" After Pinkie let her go, Fluttershy was getting dizzy; she walked funny, and her eyes were rolling around her sockets.

Pinkie also got presents from her other close friends. She got a Birthday cake hat from Crystal, a hi-tech wrist watch from Engineer, a mug that says ‘Don’t ask me about my day because you’ll most likely get a song’ from Psyche, a Hoops and Yoyo birthday card from Blaze and Rainbow (which was her favorite), and a pink t-shirt from Aqua that says ‘You don’t even know if I’m wearing a shirt’. And now, it was finally time for my present.

"Ooooh! This one feels heavy!" Pinkie said.

"That's what she said!” I teased.

"I know that's what I said." Pinkie said and giggled. She was very excited as she opened my present. "WOW! What is this?"

"That's a boombox!" I said.

"A what-box?" Pinkie asked as she started to panic. "TAKE COVER!" She yelled as she jumps behind Rainbow Dash and hides behind her.

“You’d really use me as a live shield, Pinkie?” Rainbow asked.

"Noooo, Pinkie, it won't explode. Not unless you modify it as a bomb or something, but this is perfectly safe, and it'll be a good replacement to your junky gramophone." I said.

"Yeah, you're right. That gramophone does look kinda old does it?" Pinkie asked.

"Well I hope you like it!" I said.

"Flare? THIS IS THE BEST PRESENT EVER!" Pinkie yelled.

"OW!” Rarity yelled as she held her ears. “Darling! Try shouting that into a megaphone."

Pinkie smiled wide, and then took out a megaphone and shouted, "THIS IS THE BEST PRESENT EVER!" The whole building shook while she screamed it.

"What? You think my present wasn't good enough?" Rainbow asked.

“No wait, that birthday card you and Blaze gave me was the best one! I mean, a card that talks?! Where else can you find something like that?!” Pinkie asked. "But, look! It has a microphone, a play button, a pause button, a slot where you put in candy..." Pinkie takes out a chocolate bar and places it inside the tape player. "And let's not forget a place on the top for my records....” Pinkie opens the CD player on top of the boombox and tries to put one of her records inside. “Huh? It's too small. How can I fit my records in there?"

"Have you ever heard of tape players, or CDs?" I asked.

"Of course I have, silly!” Pinkie said. "But I thought this would be a replacement gramophone?"

"Gramophones are so 1940s! Boomboxes are the way into the future, sista." I said. "And there's even a spot where you can play your Ipod!"

Pinkie jumped up and hugged me tight. "Thank you, Flare! This is so nice of you! Thank all of you! This birthday had to be the best one ever!”

“Didn’t you say that about your last birthday?” Spike asked.

“It all just gets better year by year! I can already see my future party!” Pinkie said.

A cutaway shows Pinkie drinking chocolate out of a chocolate fountain. “I want a chocolate fountain next year.” Just then, a repo pony walks by, pushing a cart with a filing cabinet on it. “Oh and I want a filing cabinet too! Filing cabinets are so cool!” The cutaway ends.

“So a spot where I can plug in my Ipod, huh? Is the Ipod included?” Pinkie asked.

“No, I… never thought you needed one.” I said.

“Yeah I could use one after I got tired of that Transistor Radio.” Pinkie said.

A cutaway shows Pinkie sitting on a park bench, waiting for Rainbow Dash to show up to play. “Maybe I should listen to some music on my transistor radio until Rainbow Dash shows up to play.” Pinkie said as she takes out her sister Marble Pie and pokes her in the stomach.

“You do realize it’s tranSISTOR radio, not tranSISTER radio, right?” Marble asked.

“Are you gonna sing for me, or what? Turn on 92.8.” Pinkie demanded. Marble starts singing an Eminem song. “No, I don’t wanna hear that! Turn on 93.1.” Marble starts singing One Is the Loneliest Number by Three Dogs Night. “No, that song is too sad. Turn on 45.6.”

Marble started having a random conversation to herself like from a talk show. “So how about those griffons, Bob? Well, Dan, I believe they can be they leave their jungle kingdom when they fly south for the winter, since they’re lion and eagle, but what puzzles me Dan is, do they lay eggs or are they mammals? I’m not sure, but what really puzzles me is do they feed their young milk or worms?”

“Talk, talk, talk. Turn on 97.7” Pinkie demanded. Marble started to make a static-like sound effect. “Awww, no signal.” The cutaway ends.

“Now if you want something like an Ipod, you’d want something like this!” I said as I took out my Ipod Touch so I can show it to Pinkie. “It's an Ipod Touch! More different than the old Ipods! NOW THIS…. is the way to the future! Check it out!"

Pinkie takes the Ipod and uses her hoof to scroll down and pick songs. "Wow, you have alot of songs in here!" she said.

"Wanna hear one?" I asked.

"WOULD I?!" Pinkie yelled.

"Would you?" I asked.

"WOULD I?!" Pinkie cried.

“Would you?” I asked.

"WOULD I?!"

"Would you?"

"WOULD I?!"

“Would you?”

"WOULD I?!"

"Would you?"

"WOULD I?!"

"LET'S JUST HEAR THE SONG ALREADY!" Blaze yelled, feeling annoyed.

"For Wizard of Hope’s sake, Blaze! Can you yell any louder with that dragon-like voice of yours?” I asked. So Pinkie puts on the headphones and starts listening to 'Last Friday Night' by Katy Perry. Pinkie was dancing to the song and sang along during the choir.

“So you pick Katy Perry to listen to over every other artist?” Crystal asked.

“She’s amazing!” Pinkie said.

“Ah would rather pick music from the 70s.” Engie said.

"Wow! This is thing is amazing!" Pinkie yelled in excitement. “I never had an Ipod before!”

"How about connect that thing to the boomie-box and let's get shakin' bacon?” I suggested.

"You got it, Flare!" Pinkie said as she connects the Ipod to the boombox and everypony danced. Time flies while you’re having fun because shortly after, the party was over and everypony started to leave.

"Bye everypony! Thanks for coming! Gummy's party is next!" Pinkie yelled out.

“Can’t wait! I just hope he doesn’t bite my tail again.” Psyche said.

“He doesn’t have any teeth though.” Aqua corrected him.

“I know, but his saliva is kinda making the color fade on my tail.” Psyche said. As I was walking out of the building, Pinkie stopped me.

“Flare, wait!” Pinkie called out.

"Sup, Pinks?” I asked.

Pinkie started getting nervous. "Um... I was wondering. This Ipod is so cool, and I wanted to.... you know.... borrow it? Is it okay?" Pinkie asked giving a squee.

"Of course! Borrow it for as long as you want!” I said.

“I know you wanna say no, and I- wait, did you say yes?” Pinkie asked.

“Technically I said ‘of course’, but it means the same thing so… yes.” I said.

“Thanks, Flare! I know I don’t want to just ask to borrow this, but when I listened to it, a party just went on in my head, and I couldn’t stop dancing!” Pinkie explained.

“I think that might be just brain tumors.” I said.

“Regardless, thank you Flare! Thank you sooooo so so so so so so so sooooooooo so so so so so sooooooooo so so so sooooooo so sooooo so so so so so so much!” Pinkie said excitedly as she hugged me.

“No problemo! Just try not to damage it or break it. It can be fragile.” I said.

"You can count on me, Flare!" Pinkie said as she saluted.

"Pinkie promise?" I asked.

"Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in...." Pinkie promised, but then I stuck a garlic roll in Pinkie's eye before she can finish.

"Oh wait, it’s a cupcake that goes in your eye, not a garlic roll.” I realized. “My bad.”

Pinkie giggled. "Don't worry, Flare! Accidents happen!” Pinkie said cheerfully as her eye started to burn from the garlic grease. “I'll take good care of it! Don't worry!"

"Treat it like a child as if it was your own.” I instructed her. Just then Fluttershy comes over and whispers in my ear. “Wait, what? Oh, alright. So Pinkie, don’t treat like your child as if it was your own. Treat it like a big piece of cake you can’t drop.” Fluttershy starts whispering in my ear again. “I mean, treat it like an Ipod.” Fluttershy started whispering in my ear once more. “I ran out of ideas, alright? Don’t get in my case.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Flutters said.

“No worries, let’s go. See you, Pinks!” I waved as Flutters and I walked back home. To our individual homes to be exact, not both of us going to one place.

"Wow! This thing is amazing! I can listen to music anywhere I want!" Pinkie said excitedly, but then Pinkie’s excitement went away and she frowned as she walked over to her gramophone. "But I've had this gramophone all my life. I don't think I'd want to get rid of it. I wonder if you can plug this Ipod in here."

The next day came, and Pinkie was listening to my Ipod all day and all of last night. "This thing is amazing! I almost don't want to give it back!" she said happily as she was jumping around town. "But I must return it. I had it with me for a long time. I think I should return it now."

So Pinkie returned over to Sugarcube Corner and started cleaning the place up, took care of the Cake babies, and baked some sweet treats, but still listening to my Ipod while she was at it. Pinkie was listening my Ipod all day long. When night time came, she decided to take a stroll around the town, and she was still listening to it. "Ipods are sooooo fun!" Pinkie said. "Listen to music where ever I go. It's great!" Just then Pinkie suddenly stopped hoping and thought. "Hmm, perhaps I should give this back to Flare. I had it enough." Pinkie suddenly started hoping again. "Nah, he must be sleeping now. I'll return it tomorrow morning!" Just then Pinkie trips on a rock and falls to the ground and the Ipod was lying on the ground in front of her. "Whoa! I have to be more careful! I can't break this.... really fun device!" Pinkie giggled. "I’m not worried. Everything will be fine! What can go wrong?"

Meanwhile, Derpy flew by and ate a banana in one bite; once she finished it, she threw the peel towards the trash bin, but it missed. Pinkie’s tail was twitching, but she didn’t realize it. She started hoping towards the banana peel, unaware it was there. Luckily, Pinkie was able to hop over the peel and she kept hoping along. “Yep! What can go wrong?” Pinkie asked herself again. As she was about to jinx it by almost falling into a hole in the ground that was dug up by some construction workers, Pinkie hops on top of one of the construction pony’s helmets and then hops back onto the street. “Nothing can go wrong, that’s what!” she said. Meanwhile, Shoeshine was at her house on the second floor, and she was just about to pour a bucket of water out the window, and Pinkie was just about to hop underneath it, and she didn’t even notice her tail twitching again. Lucky for Pinkie, the bucket of water was frozen, so no water came out, and Pinkie and my Ipod was safe. I’d go on with these jinxes that Pinkie kept going through, but I believe I made my point.

“Actually, on second thought, maybe I should give this back right away. Now that I think of it, Flare is a gamer, so he’ll be up late. All gamers are always up late.” Pinkie said as she began to hop over to my trailer to return my Ipod. On the way, Derpy was eating another banana and threw the peel on Pinkie's head by accident. Pinkie started screaming and running around all over the place. "AAAAAH! HELP! FACEHUGGER! FACEHUGGER THAT SMELLS LIKE BANANA IS TRYING TO EAT ME!" Just then, Pinkie suddenly slipped on the first banana peel that Derpy threw down before, and Pinkie fell down on the floor, and the Ipod fell out of her ears and landed on top of a sewage drain, and it was about to fall. “Noooooooo!” Pinkie yelled in a deep tone voice. Luckily the Ipod did not fall into the sewer as it fell the opposite direction it was heading at, and Pinkie felt relieved. Just before Pinkie was able to pick it up, a little blue raccoon wearing duck slippers started yelling playfully and ran towards Pinkie. “No, Scooch, no!” Pinkie yelled.

Just then, Scooch accidentally kicks the Ipod down the sewage drain as he runs, and once he finds out what he did, he stops and says, “Sorry, sorry, my fault.”

Pinkie immediately runs over to the sewage drain and looks down. "Oh no! Oh no! No no no no no! What am I gonna do? What am I gonna do? What am I gonna do?" Pinkie repeatedly cried out as she ran around in a circle. "Flare's gonna be really mad! I need to get it back!"

"Sup, Pinks?" I asked as I stood behind her. Pinkie screamed in fright, which scared me too. “Don’t do that! You know I get startled easily!”

Pinkie was pretty frightened to see me, so she faked a smile, squeed, and said, "H-Hi, Flare! Nothing much really, just going for my evening hop!" Pinkie gave an embarrassing chuckle.

"Alright! You still have my Ipod?" I asked.

"Yes... of course!" Pinkie lied. She’s Element of Laughter, not Honesty, so she can get away with lying.

"Sooooo.... is it okay if I have it back?" I asked.

"Oh.... umm.... you see.... I have..... I really like your Ipod so much, that.... is it okay if I use it a little longer?" Pinkie asked.

“But Pinkie I’m so booooooored at work!” I whined.

“Please Flare? I promise I’ll give it back tomorrow morning!” Pinkie promised.

"Alright. Tomorrow morning. I really need it back. I have a project to do and I get bored easily, so the Ipod entertains me while I work on it." I said.

"Of course, Flare! I'll give you the Ipod back tomorrow!” Pinkie said as she started to sweat. "Don’t say Pinkie promise, don’t say Pinkie promise, don’t say Pinkie promise." She said in her mind.

“You Flare promise?” I asked.

“I DON- wait, what’s a Flare promise?” Pinkie asked.

“Cross my less then threes, hope to choke, stick a garlic roll down my throat.” I said as I shoved a garlic roll in her mouth.

“Oh.” Pinkie said with a mouth full of garlic roll.

"Alright, Pinks! I’ll see you first thing tomorrow morning! I have to head to the store and get some more Animal Crackers. I keep running out for some reason.” I said.

A cutaway shows Fluttershy inside her cottage with Animal Crackers all over her table, and she sobbed. “This is horrible! Why would ponies turn innocent animals into snacks?!” she yelled.

“Don’t ask me, I’m not the one that’s doing so. You should totally sue the Austin company for everything they got!” Crystal suggested.

Fluttershy sniffled and said angrily; “You’re right, Crystal!”

“Have I ever not been right?” Crystal asked. The cutaway ends.

"I have to get his Ipod back! I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm going into that sewer!” Pinkie said. “But not alone though. I need help!”

Meanwhile over at Twilight's house, Twilight was continuing to work on the vitamin drink when suddenly she hears a knock on the door. "Spike, can you get that?" Twilight called out.

"Do I have to do EVERYTHING around here?" Spike complained as he walked to the door to open it. Once he opened it, Pinkie rushed inside and ran to Twilight, and crashed into her.

"TWILIGHT?!" Pinkie shouted.

"What? What? What's the matter?" Twilight asked.

"Flare.... Flare... Flare... Flare.... Flare.... Flare...." Pinkie was so freaked out that she kept stuttering and breathing hard.

Twilight took out a breathing machine and placed the machine's mask on Pinkie's mouth. "That's it, inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale." Twilight instructed Pinkie as she started breathing through the mask.

"Woo! Thanks Twilight." Pinkie said cheerfully. She then started to freak out again and yelled and explained really fast, "TWILIGHT?! Flare let me borrow his Ipod, I used it so long, but then I was attacked by a facehugger, then I tripped, and his Ipod went inside the sewers, and there he was! I didn't want to tell him what happened because he would be very mad at me, and wouldn't want to be my friend anymor-or-orrrrre!" Pinkie started to sob. She sobbed so much that it looked like water falls were bursting out of her eyes.

Twilight gave Pinkie a hug to calm her down. "There, there, Pinkie! Look, we'll go down into the sewers and retrieve it. Simple as that!”

"Go... down?" Spike asked nervously. "There's monsters, and stinky stuff down there! Why would you want to go down to the sewers?"

"Me? Not just me, Spike. We're all going." Twilight corrected him.

"Nuh uh! No way! There’s no way I’m going down there!" Spike said.

“But Spike, you seem to use electronics more than any of us. Maybe you’ll be able to recognize it by the time we find it.” Twilight said.

"Oh, and because I use electronics more, that automatically means I know where the Ipod is? Pinkie had it last. She had it for 24 hours. She should know what it looks like." Spike explained as she started to walk away.

"Would you come for a Spikey snack?" Twilight asked.

Spike stopped and turned his head towards Twilight. "Did you say.... Spikey snack?" he asked as his mouth started to water. Twilight then took out a box of Spikey snacks, which is a box full of gems. "I want a diamond today!" he said.

Twilight takes a diamond out of the box and throws it towards Spike. "Catch!" she said as Spike jumped up and ate the diamond.

"Spikey-spikey dooooo!" Spike yelled. "Let's do this!"

“Right! Let’s get Flare’s Ipod back and save my friendship with him!” Pinkie yelled as she grabs Twilight’s vitamin drink and gulped it down. So Pinkie Pie, Twilight, and Spike walk over to the sewage drain where Pinkie dropped my Ipod. The three of them were wearing bio-suits to help protect their bodies.

“Twilight is it necessary to wear these suits?” Spike asked.

“Well down these sewers lies Flare’s I-“ Twilight said as she gets cut off by Pinkie who still had Twilight’s potion in her mouth. She runs back to Twilight’s library and spits it all back inside the vial again.

Pinkie runs back to Twilight and Spike and said, "I dropped the Ipod down here."

"Alright, just give me a second. I'll get it opened." Twilight said. Twilight immediately uses her levitation spell to remove the sewer hatch.

"Pee you!" Spike said as he held his nose. "Smells like a gas station bathroom in there!"

“You know, Pinkie, I doubt dropping Flare’s Ipod down those sewers would ruin your friendship with him. You know how desperate he is for attention.” Twilight reminded her.

“But I don’t want to break my Pinkie Promise! I can’t break a Pinkie Promise, Twilight!” Pinkie yelled as she started shaking Twilight. “Do you know what it’s like to break a Pinkie Promise?! I swore an oath, Twilight! I swore an oath! If I break that oath, I would never forgive myself, and if I don’t forgive myself, I’ll be forever sad, and if I’ll be forever sad, I’ll never throw parties, and if I never throw parties, nopony would be interested in being friends with me anymore, and if nopony would be interested in being friends with me anymore, my life will be ruined, and if my life will be ruined, Equestria will turn to chaos, and IT’LL BE ALL…. MY….. FAULT!”

“Pinkie Pie, calm down! It’s not the end of the world! Look, we’ll get the Ipod back, I promise.” Twilight said.

“Why not just buy Flare another Ipod?” Spike asked.

“It won’t be the same, Spike! It won’t…. be…. THE SAME!” Pinkie yelled as she shook Spike.

“Pinkie, you know you didn’t break this promise on purpose. I’m sure Flare would understand, and you two can work things out.” Twilight explained.

“What if he doesn’t forgive me?” Pinkie asked.

“I’m pretty sure he will.” Twilight said.

“But what if he doesn’t?” Pinkie asked.

“Then you’re screwed.” Spike teased.

“Spike!” Twilight yelled at him.

“What?” Spike asked.

“If he doesn’t forgive you, Pinkie, then you shouldn’t let it bother you. If he doesn’t want to see you again, that’s his loss. You learned your lesson to be more careful, and I’m sure Flare will forgive you.” Twilight said.

“Yeah, you’re probably right, Twilight.” Pinkie smiled a bit and nodded. “I mean, it’s not the first time I ever lied.”

A cutaway shows Twilight walking inside Sugarcube Corner. “Hi, Pinkie! What’s up?” Twilight asked.

“Twilight, I haven’t been completely honest with you. I am not who you think I am.” Pinkie said.

“What are you talking about, Pinkie?” Twilight asked. Pinkie smirks at Twilight, then grabs a zipper on the top of her head, and unzips her Pinkie Pie suit, and underneath, it’s revealed that Pinkie Pie is actually….. Pinkie Pie! Twilight gasps.

“Now you know my secret.” Pinkie said. Twilight just stood there in shock, but for different reasons. The cutaway ends.

"Alright, let's go in!" Twilight said as she puts on her suit’s helmet. Twilight activates her horn and lights the path through the dark dirty sewers. They all jumped down there and searched for the Ipod.

"I don't see it. You see it, Spike?" Pinkie asked.

"Nope. I found this chocolate bar though." Spike said as he held a brown rectangular thing. "I'm gonna save it for later." Spike puts the 'chocolate bar' in his bio-suit pocket, and the three of them continued on. They kept on walking through the dirty sewers and find weird treasures that Spike keeps picking up.

"Spike, stop being such a trash picker!" Twilight demanded.

"Hey, why would ponies flush this stuff down the toilet anyway?" Spike asked. "Look! Magazines, jewelry, hats, who flushes a lawn mower down the toilet?"

"We have to keep looking!" Pinkie said. "If we don't find the Ipod, Flare will never talk to me again! We’d be like an old married couple.

A cutaway shows Pinkie and I 70 to 80 years later, both sitting in chairs and reading some books. Pinkie coughs as she read, and I just glare at her and continue reading. The cutaway ends.

"We're not giving up, Pinkie! We'll find it." Twilight said as she placed her hoof on Pinkie’s shoulder.

“I hope so, and I hope it’s not harmed.” Pinkie said.

“If it’s damaged, I hope Flare has warranty on it.” Spike said. Just then the three of them heard a loud roar.

“What was that?” Twilight asked.

“Oh no! It’s the annoying hunger again!” Spike yelled.

“Spike, I don’t think that was your stomach.” Twilight assumed. Just then, the ground started to quake, and a giant monster comes out from the sewage water, and it surprised the three.

"WHAT IS THAT?!" Spike yelled.

"That looks like.... a fish. A giant mutated fish!" Twilight yelled. "RUN! Or in Pinkie's case, HOP!"

Twilight and Spike ran while Pinkie hopped. The fish chased them throughout the sewers while the Benny Hill theme was playing in the background. After some yards, Twilight, Spike and Pinkie were disguised wearing mustaches which confused the fish monster, and they pointed to the opposite direction, and the fish ran to that direction. The three of them took off their mustaches and ran the opposite way of the fish. The fish eventually ended up in front of them and let out a roar. The fish monster chased the three of them throughout the sewers, falling from water falls, avoiding sewer gators, and eventually they ended up in a dead end.

"It's a dead end!" Twilight yelled.

"Noooooo, you don't say!" Spike said sarcastically.

The three of them were shaking and standing close to the wall while the fish monster was slowly walking towards them. Pinkie looks at the fish's mouth and sees a little device in its mouth. "That's Flare's Ipod!" Pinkie pointed.

"Where?" Twilight asked.

"In the monster's mouth! We have to get it back! Twilight, you're a unicorn! Use your magic thing on it!" Pinkie yelled as she pokes Twilight’s horn.

“Touching my horn won’t really help, you know.” Twilight informed her. Twilight walks over towards the fish and activates her horn, and shorts a laser beam over at the fish, thinking that would restore it to it’s original state, but it was not effective, and the fish monster shoves Twilight and slams her against the wall. Pinkie and Spike were frightened to what the fish was going to do next.

“Wait, I got an idea!” Pinkie shouted.

“I’m almost too afraid to ask.” Spike said.

“Almost doesn’t count, so ask me.” Pinkie demanded.

“Ok, what’s your idea?” Spike asked.

“Maybe there’s something in this biosuit pocket I can use.” Pinkie said as she reaches into her pocket and attempts to look for something useful. “Hmm, no, no, no, no….” Pinkie said as she takes out random objects from her pocket and throws them aside, until she eventually found something useful. “Ah ha!” she yelled.

“What is that?” Spike asked.

“It’s Flare’s container of shrimpies!” Pinkie said.

“How did you get them?” Spike asked.

“I took them near Flare’s fish tank before I surprised him and invited him to my party. This stuff can make any fish happy!” Pinkie explained as she opened the container.

“Well, what are you waiting for, Pinkie? Use it!” Spike demanded. So Pinkie then reached inside the container and took out a block of shrimpies. She threw the block at the fish, and it landed in it’s mouth. The fish roared real loud, but the food started to kick in, and started to calm down. The fish licked it’s lips, rubbed it’s tummy, and started shrinking down to it’s original size. Once it shrunk, it started hopping on the ground as it starts gasping for breath.

"Hey, isn't that Yoyo?" Spike asked.

"Who?" Pinkie asked.

"Flare's pet fish, Yoyo." Spike said.

"Isn’t he the black one?” Pinkie asked.

“No, that’s Darrel.” Spike corrected her.

”How about the gray one with the whiskers?” Pinkie asked.

”That would be Piddles.” Spike said.

“How about the rainbow one?” Pinkie asked.

”There are two rainbow ones: Rainbow and Dorthey. Look, this here is Flare’s fish, I can recognize him.” Spike said.

“How do you know?” Twilight asked.

“I’ve seen Flare’s fish many times before to know who they are, and I don’t know anyone else in town that owns a yoyo loach.” Spike said.

"He's still breathing." Twilight said as she takes off her helmet, squirts water out of her horn and fills the bowl. Twilight places Yoyo inside the fish bowl and he's swimming happy.

"And hey, the Ipod! We did it!" Pinkie yelled out in joy as she picks up the Ipod, but to her bad luck, it's all broken and ripped up, and won't turn on. Just then a spark pops out of it along with smoke, and Pinkie started getting really upset. "Oh no! It's ruined!" Pinkie yelled as she started to cry.

"Flare's not gonna be happy." Spike said as Twilight glared at his remark.

"Its okay, Pinkie." Twilight said as she pats Pinkie on the back. "If we just explained to Flare what happened, he'll understand."

"Can we fix it?" Pinkie sniffled and asked.

"YES WE CAN!" Spike teased and started chuckling. Twilight then glares at him again. "Sorry." he said.

"Maybe, but first we should take Flare’s fish back home.” Twilight said.

“How do you think it got that way?” Spike asked.

“I dunno, what do you think?” Twilight asked as she finds a vial of her potion lying on the ground, and she picks it up and shows it to Spike.

“What? I tried it, and it tasted like garbage!” Spike said.

“Wow, this stuff is incredibly unstable against fish. I better write that down in my notes.” Twilight said.

Pinkie looks down at the destroyed Ipod and said, “Flare’s never gonna speak to me again.”

Twilight, Pinkie, and Spike walked back to Sugarcube Corner place along with Yoyo, but then Pinkie gasped because my trailer was just outside Sugarcube Corner, and I was outside. "Heeeeey!" I called out waving. Twilight, Pinkie, and Spike froze, and got confused.

"Huh? What is your trailer doing here? I thought you stationed it at my house." Twilight asked.

“Well, hello to you too, Twilight.” I said with an attitude.

“I’m sorry, HI Flare.” Twilight said.

“That’s much better! Anyways, I was getting a little tired of waking up at the same location, so I decided, every once in a while, I move my trailer to a different location. Pretty smart, eh?" I asked as I looked down at Yoyo. “Oh cool, a yoyo loach! Leet!”

"It's yours, isn't it?” Twilight asked.

"Uhhh, what do you mean? Yoyo's still inside the fish tank last I checked, and that was like a minute ago." I said.

"So if that wasn't Yoyo, then who's loach is this? We found it at the sewers." Spike asked.

"I heard Cherry Berry had a Yoyo loach that passed away and she flushed down the toilet. I'll never flush my fish down the toilet. That's not a good fate for them. That’s why I berried Hoops in the ground near Fluttershy’s cottage." I said. "Wait, what were you doing in the sewers?" Pinkie started to sweat and shiver. "And where is my Ipod? It's morning, right? Lawl right Pinkie? Remember? Lawl remember Pinkie?” I asked.

“Flare, please.” Twilight reminded me.

“Oh, right, sorry. When you get too attached to a phrase, you can’t let it go.” I said.

“You already asked her if she remembers, so asking once is enough.” Twilight said.

“Hey you’re the teacher.” I shrugged. “So Pinkie where’s my Ipod?”

“Well, ummm….” Pinkie froze and shivered and started to sweat, which doesn’t really make much sense to me. How can one be cold and hot at the same time? Anyways, Pinkie started to tear up and took out the broken Ipod and showed it to me.

"Is that.... my Ipod?" I asked. Pinkie sadly nodded. "What happened?"

"Pinkie was using your Ipod, but she slipped and fell, and she accidentally dropped it in the sewers." Twilight explained.

“Hey, big mouth, let the pony speak.” I complained to Twilight.

“Ok, fine. Pinkie tell him.” Twilight instructed her.

"No, it’s too late now, I already know. So you broke my Ipod by dropping it into the sewers. I can get that it’s all wet, but it got chewed up it looks like. How?" I asked.

"We saw a mutant fish monster, which was actually this loach right here. After Pinkie fed it, it went back to normal. While it was a monster, it chewed up the Ipod." Spike explained.

"I'm sorry, Flare!" Pinkie yelled as she started weeping on my hooves. "Please don't hate me! I'm sorry! I really was careful, I really was, but…. I guess I wasn’t careful enough! I beg you Flare! I know I broke my pinkie promise.” Pinkie then crossed her heart and stuck her hoof on her eye. “But can we please still be friends? I don’t think I can take this kind of rejection!” I didn’t say a word. I just looked down at Pinkie, looked at my broken Ipod, and then looked back at Twilight and Spike.

“She really cares about you, Flare.” Twilight said.

“I know she does, but…. This much? She cares about me so much that she begs for me to stay friends with her?” I asked.

“She’s like that with everypony to be honest.” Spike said.

“But regardless, a pony, an actual pony, she makes a mistake, and she crawls through some dirty sewers just to stay friends with me, and now she’s begging for my forgiveness? Twilight, I am so confused!”

“Why?” Twilight asked.

“Because…. Because….. nopony ever begged me for forgiveness, or go through a lot just to keep a promise they made for me. Nopony ever did. I’m…. I’m just….. I’m just…. Holy Wizard of Feelings!”

Pinkie got up and wipped her eyes. "Nopony ever begged for forgiveness?”

”Back in Mareami, nopony cares really. They do something wrong, meh, they don’t care. Nopony cared for anypony’s feelings. All everypony was friends with are ponies they thought were just fun for them. That’s pretty much the main reason why I’m learning friendship here. Friendship is just…. So confusing!” I said.

“I don’t know why ponies didn’t care about you.” Pinkie sniffled and said. “You’re one of the most funnest, kindest ponies I’ve ever met!”

“Not everypony thinks that. Everypony just looks at my irritating side, and there are times I may be a jerk, but not on purpose. I have feelings too you know, and you know something, Pinkie Pie? You begging for my friendship is the most thoughtful thing I’ve ever experienced. I have somepony that would go through a lot just to be friends with me! I’m…. I’m touched.” I said.

“So…. You don’t care that I broke your Ipod?” Pinkie asked.

”Oh this thing? It’s not even my Ipod!” I said.

“It’s not?” Pinkie asked.

“No! I know what my own Ipod looks like, and this here is an older model.” I said.

“So…. I didn’t find your Ipod yet.” Pinkie said sadly.

“Pinkie, your friendship is worth 10 Ipods! I don’t really care. I got an android phone! I can just look up the music on YouTube and listen to that!” I said as I showed her my android phone.

“Wow! You have a lot of cool electronic devices!” Pinkie said. “How can you afford all these?”

“When you’ve been alone as much as I have, electronics are your best friends. Devices like Ipods, Androids, XBUCKS, and computers. I have them to drain my sorrow.” I said. “I suppose that is why not many ponies in town use them because they have such good friends; they don’t need them to drain their sorrow. I used to be on devices non-stop. They were the only things that made me happy. But now I got friends like you, Crystal, Engie, Aqua, Blaze, the dorky purple pony-“ Twilight clears her throat and glares at me. “Relax, I’m talking about Psyche.” I informed her.

“Oh, alright.” Twilight said.

“With friends like you all, who needs electronics?” I asked. Pinkie wipes her eyes, smiles, and gives me a big hug. “Whoa, you got a pretty strong grip, sista! Careful, I just ate breakfast. I don’t wanna do number 4 all over you.”

“Wait, what’s number 4?” Spike asked.

“You know what doing number 1 and number 2 is?” I asked.

“Oh, nevermind. I don’t wanna know.” Spike said. "Woo! I'm hungry! I think I'll have that chocolate now." Spike takes out the chocolate bar he found in the sewers and he licks it, but he suddenly spits it out. "This isn't chocolate!" he said. Twilight squirts water on the chocolate, which wasn't really chocolate, it was an Ipod covered in mud.

"Hey, my Ipod!" I yelled in glee as I grabbed it and turned it on. "And it still works! It's dirty, but it's waterproof, and dirt proof. It’s just not lawn mower proof; there weren’t any lawn mowers down there, was there?”

"So all this time we had Flare's Ipod!” Twilight said as she started to laugh. “How ironic was that?”

”Wow, Twilight, I haven’t seen you laugh that hard since you read my love letters to Rarity.” Spike said.

A cutaway shows Twilight in her library, laughing as she starts reading Spike’s love letters for Rarity. “What are you looking at, Twilight?” Spike asked.

“This is hilarious, Spike! Are you a fish because you make my scales burst! How does that make any sense?” Twilight asked as she continued to laugh.

“Wait… what?” Spike asked.

“She has the hair of angels, and the coat of white puffy pillows. She makes the sun shine while it’s cloudy, and she makes rainbows appear even when it doesn’t rain. Spike, this is hilarious!” Twilight said.

“Are you reading my letters?!” Spike asked angrily.

“Is Rarity an angel because I’m allergic to feathers. Bleh!” Twilight read and started laughing again. Spike started getting so angry that his eyes glowed white, and his spikes bursts into flames. The cutaway ends.

Just then, Cherry Berry showed up and walked towards us. "Hey guys!" she said.

"Hey, Cherry!" I said.

"Nice loach!" Cherry said as she looked at the fish and saw it swimming towards her. "Huh? Lucky? Is that you?"

“You call your fish Lucky?” I asked.

"Oh yeah, we found this loach in the sewers. He wasn't really dead." Spike said.

"Lucky's alive! Oh my gosh! Thank you so much! I thought he was gone for good!” Cherry said excitedly as she took the bowl and hugged it.

“You call your fish Lucky?” I asked again.

"Listen, Flare. I'm glad you have your Ipod back. We still friends?" Pinkie asked.

"Nope." I said as I crossed my hooves together, and Pinkie was surprised, but then I smiled at her, and then Pinkie play-punched my shoulder and we all laughed. “Anyways, Cherry, why did you name your fish Lucky and not expect it to be handicapped?”

Back inside the trailer, since my bedroom was right across the front door which was wide open, the fish saw us laughing. “What’s so funny? What are they laughing about?” Pearl asked.

“Don’t know, don’t care.” Piddles said.

“So Yoyo, what made you not want to go through with it?” Dorthey asked.

“I heard what was in those sewers. If there’s food down there, it might be poisonous, and maybe turn me into a mutated monster.” Yoyo said.

“Mutated monster, huh? Mutated monster fish? Ha! What are the odds of that happening?” Piddles asked.

“I dunno, but Flare does have a sample of radioactive flakes beside the tank for experimental reasons, as requested from Twilight.” Rainbow said.

“Which one is Twilight again? That the yellow one?” Darrel asked.

“I hope Twilight knows what she’s doing leaving the sample there.” Dorthey said. “If Flare makes one little mistake in feeding us those flakes, we may turn into monsters….. or worse.”

Author's Note

Here's the remake of chapter 12. It didn't change much, besides the obvious, and also Pinkie was the one to save the day, not Twilight. I also I gave Flare's fish a part in here, and a foreshadow of a future chapter.

The Noble Six

It was a beautiful day, of course, but today wasn't like any other day. Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, AppleJack, and Fluttershy all took the day off to spend the whole day just with eachother. The six of them were swimming at the town pool. AppleJack and Rainbow Dash were splashing eachother, Rarity was laying down on a lounge chair all stylish, Fluttershy tried to go down the steps into the pool but the water was too cold for her, but then Pinkie Pie sneaks up behind Fluttershy and yells, "SURPRISE!" and Fluttershy loses her balance and falls in the water and starts shivering. Everypony then laughed.

"Hey Rarity? You coming into the water?" Twilight asked.

"Why would I want to waste my time in the filthy chlorine water that other ponies probably peed in when I can just lay down in the sunshine?" Rarity asked.

"Like this!" Pinkie said as she jumps into the water and some of the water splashes out and soaks Rarity.

"AAH!" Rarity yelled. "PINKIE PIE!" Pinkie just smiled at her and gave out a squee.

"Alright, stand back everypony! I wanna show my awesome new cannon ball trick!" Rainbow said.

"Oh, stay careful alright?" Fluttershy asked. "Cannonballs can, um, sometimes hurt."

"It's the belly flops that hurt, sugarcube." AppleJack corrected her. "It wouldn't hurt seein' a cool trick our good friend Rainbow Dash has!"

Rainbow Dash suddenly flies up to the air, and flies has high as she can, probably 10 yards over the pool; she then starts falling head first into the pool without her wings. She then holds her body together and starts rolling around in the air as she lands right into the pool that causes a huge splash, which caused even more water to soak all over Rarity.

"RAINBOW DASH!" Rarity yelled.

"Oh lighten up, Rarity! You were already soaked.” Rainbow said.

"It sure is a beautiful day, isn't it?" Twilight asked.

"Sure is, Twilight. Ah'm glad we all took the day off to spend time with our friends!" AppleJack said.

"Same here!" Rainbow said.

"Ooo ooo, same here!" Pinkie yelled cheerfully.

“Oh yes, it really is nice, isn’t it?” Flutters asked.

“Just imagine if we were actually swimming in chocolate milk! That would be super duper fun!” Pinkie said.

“Yeah, right.” Twilight said.

“Ah don’t know about you ponies, but ah feel like gettin some grub right now.” AppleJack said.

“Yeah, come to think of it. I am kinda hungry too.” Flutters said.

“Me three! Where do you girls want to go?” Rainbow asked.

“How about that new Porker’s Barbecue?” AppleJack suggested.

“How about that fancy restaurant? Soup ‘n’ Salads?” Rarity suggested.

“I’m in the mood for Taco Shack, and get a fortune cookie for dessert!” Pinkie suggested.

“I love the Hayburger. How about there?” Twilight suggested.

“How about we go to Flare’s?” Flutters suggested.

“Oh yes! That’s what I was thinking too!” Pinkie said.

“Ah dunno, ah already eaten there for lunch yesterday.” AppleJack said.

“What did you have last time you were there?” Rarity asked.

“Apple-crisp pizza. Ah always have that when ah’m there.” AppleJack said.

“Try something different for a change like… like his eggplant parmesan. It’s really good!” Rarity suggested.

“Aren’t you afraid to get your stainless white coat stained?” AppleJack teased.

“He’s got napkin rolls; I’ll be fine.” Rarity said.

“If you’re afraid of getting your coat stained, you should put napkin rolls all over your body until you turn into the world’s biggest napkin roll ball.” Rainbow said.

“That would certainly make good tourism.” AppleJack said.

“Yeah alright. Flare’s shop is cool.” Rainbow said.

“Ah agree!” AppleJack said. “Ya’ll in Twilight?”

“Might as well, AppleJack!” Twilight said. “I’m sure it would be more fun than the time Spike was testifying against Michael Jackson.”

A cutaway shows Spike on the stand at court, and Michael Jackson was sitting at the defense table with his lawyer. The prosecutor asked Spike, “Spike, did Mr. Jackson act inappropriately towards you?”

“Well, yes, but the worst part was: he never called back.” Spike teased, and everypony in the court room started laughing. “No, but in all seriousness, he was actually pretty aggressive.” The cutaway ends.

So the six friends left the pool and walked over to Flare’s Pizza Parlor for lunch. They went inside and waited to be seated. “This place is so fancy!” Pinkie said. “I wonder if I can make Sugarcube Corner this fancy? I mean seriously, who can top this place?”

“Yes, although the walls could use a darker color, and maybe a few picture frames of art here and there, not photos.” Rarity suggested. “Maybe the floor should have carpet. Wait, what if it stains? Maybe this place would be more interesting if there were less speakers on the stage over there. I remember when Sweetie Belle sang on that stage. She sounded like a real celebrity singer.”

Just then, Spike walked up to the Mane Six while wearing tuxedo on. “Good afternoon! Welcome to Flare’s Pizza Parlor! Where we don’t serve any gems of any kind.” He twitched while he said it.

“Spike? You work here?” Twilight asked confusingly.

“Yeah. You didn’t get my note?” Spike asked.

A cutaway shows Twilight studying with potions, and one of the potions suddenly exploded and made a gooey mess on Twilight’s face. Twilight looks for a paper towel but couldn’t find any. She finds a note on the table and uses it to wipe her face.

“Was this paper important?” Twilight asked herself. “Naaah!” The cutaway ends.

“Oh that note? Well… I….” Twilight said nervously as she gave Spike an embarrassing smile.

“When did ya’ll start working here Spike?” AppleJack asked.

“Yesterday was my first day. I needed to get a job because SOMEPONY didn’t bother!” Spike said looking at Twilight.

“I’m busy studying for Princess Celestia.” Twilight said.

“So you decide to study, and let us starve?” Spike asked.

“Doesn’t the princess pay for your rent at the library?” Flutters asked.

“She pays for the rent, and supplies us for the food we need, but Spike wants more.” Twilight explained.

“So I’m just gonna earn the money myself and finally get those games for my XBUCKS.” Spike said.

“I’m really proud of you, Spike. It was really nice of Flare giving you this job.” Twilight said.

“Doesn’t Spikey look adorable in that tuxedo?” Rarity asked.

Spike blushed. “This way to your table.” He said as he lead them to a booth near the window at the west end of the store. He places the menus on the table and the Mane Six sat down. “Let me know when you need anything.” Spike said as he walks away.

“So what you girls planning on having?” Fluttershy asked. “I mean, if that’s okay for me asking.”

“Ah was thinking of having spaghetti with apple sauce and apple slices on it.” AppleJack said.

“Always with the apples, huh AppleJack?” Rainbow asked.

“Always with the awesomeness, huh Rainbow Dash?” AppleJack teased.

“You know it!” Rainbow said.

“What are ya plannin’ to eat, Pinkie?” AppleJack asked.

“What? I’m not planning to eat Pinkie.” Pinkie said.

“No, ah mean what are ya plannin’ to eat?” AppleJack asked.

“Oh, well the desert pizza, duh!” Pinkie said. “What about you Fluttershy?”

“Oh, um, I’ll just take a salad.” Flutters said.

“Eggplant for me.” Rarity said.

“I don’t know what I want yet.” Rainbow said.

“Why are we ordering anyway? Nopony is around to take our order yet!” Pinkie giggled and said.

“Isn’t it nice to share what we crave? Maybe we’d think about changing our appetites that way for something that we might find more delicious!” AppleJack explained.

“Wow, those were some big words, AppleJack.” Rainbow said.

“Ah know my food, Rainbow Dash. Ah know my food.” AppleJack nodded.

Eventually, Bon Bon walks over to their table to take their order. “Good afternoon! My name is Bon Bon, I’ll be serving you today. May I start off you all with a drink?” she asked.

Pinkie giggled. “You don’t need to repeat your name, Bonnie. We know who you are!”

“I know, but it’s in the contract Flare gave me.” Bonnie said.

“Oh, Flare and his contracts.” Rarity chuckled.

“I know! You have no idea what it took for Blaze to finally sign his friendship agreement!” Rainbow said.

“Ah’ll take some apple cider for a drink, Bon Bon.” AppleJack said.

“Oh, um, just… plain water.” Flutters said.

“Mountain Dew! I love that stuff! It’s awesome! I can’t have it in the house because it’s too spicy for Blaze to have.” Rainbow said.

“Chocolate milk, please!” Pinkie said.

“May I take the Luna Special?” Twilight asked.

“Excellent choices! Are we ready to order too?” Bonnie asked.

“Yeah I’ll take a spaghetti with apples.” AppleJack said.

“Just a salad.” Flutters said. “Olive oil and oregano.”

“Desert pizza for me!” Pinkie said. “With jelly beans, and chocolate chips, and cherries, and lollipops, and whip cream, and hot fudge, and cotton candy, and lots and lots of green olives on toothpicks! You can’t go wrong with green olives with toothpicks!”

“Ooookay. Anypony else?” Bonnie asked.

“I’ll take your Minestrone soup and eggplant parm.” Rarity requested.

“And I’ll just take a few slices of pizza with onion, peppers, olives, mushrooms, and garlic." Twilight said.

“Well I was gonna say I'm not in the mood for an appetite, but I can't resist Flare's food to be honest.” Rainbow admited. "Just a plain cheese pizza.... with everything on it.... no artichokes in it, but do put my favorite in it: artichokes."

"Alright coming right up!" Bonnie said as she took the menus and walked to the kitchen to fill that order.

"You know what girls? I've been thinking." Fluttershy asked.

“You were thinking?” Pinkie teased.

Flutters went silent for a few moments and just looked at Pinkie awkwardly, but then she said, "What if we turned into babies? How would you feel?"

"Lazy. Because I ain't doing nothing if I'm one." Rainbow said.

"Well at least you'd have no responsibilities." Rarity said.

"But somepony would be tellin’ ya'll what to do." AppleJack said.

"I know, and I hate being told what to do.” Rainbow said.

"Oh c'mon, being a foal would be fun! We can do whatever we want!" Pinkie said.

"There's a limit though, Pinkie." AppleJack said.

"Yeah, so? When I took care of the Cake's babies, they did whatever they wanted!" Pinkie explained.

"Did they? Or do you let them?" Twilight asked.

Pinkie stayed silent for a moment. "Uhhh....." she mumbled. "Where's our food?"

"Bon Bon just took our order." AppleJack said.. "Ya'll think the food would be here that fast?" Just then, Lyra walks by with all the food and drink for the Mane Six and she sets them down.

"Well ah stand corrected then. Thanks Lyra!" AppleJack said.

"You're welcome! Is there anything else I can get for you?” Lyra asked.

"Some extra napkins, if you please darling?" Rarity requested.

"Right away!" Lyra said as she walks over to the counter and gets a dozen extra napkins for the gang.

"Um-Lyra is it's okay.... may we see Flare?" Flutters asked.

"Flare's busy at the moment, but I'll see if he has the time to see you." Lyra said as she walked to my office to check on me.

"Thank you!" Flutters said.

"Weeee! We going to see Flare!" Pinkie yelled excitedly.

“Why do you wanna see him?” Rainbow asked.

“Well, umm… I want to check up on him, you know? I’d like to see if he’s been comfortable lately, and see if he needs anymore advice.” Flutters said.

“That’s a good idea, Fluttershy, but I have the feeling he’ll soon be on the verge of not needing our help anymore.” Twilight said.

“Wha-what makes you think that?” Flutters asked.

“He’s improving on his respect for others.” Twilight said.

“B-but that doesn’t mean we can’t hang out with him anymore, right?” Flutters asked.

“No, of course not! But he does have his own friends, and we have eachother.” Twilight said.

“That’s pretty much it though. Flare has his own friends now. He doesn’t need us. I bet he won’t even know our names once he doesn’t need us anymore.” Rainbow said.

“WHAT?!” Flutters yelled. Everypony in the restaurant looked at her. She blushed and looked away from everypony.

“What’s your big deal, Flutters? Why you being so hyper in public?” Pinkie asked. Flutters glared at her. “What?”

“Well, she does have a bit of a point. You really acted out once Rainbow said that.” Twilight said.

“Oh, umm… well… I just don’t think Flare would do that.” Flutters said.

Just then, Lyra walks back to their table and said, “I’m sorry, Flare cannot see you right now.”

“He’s tired of us, see?” Rainbow said as Fluttershy gasped.

“Rainbow Dash! That is not true! Don’t say anything like that!” Twilight ordered her.

“Well let’s put that to the test. Look, there’s Aquatic Armor right now about to see Flare.” Rainbow pointed to Aqua who was walking to my office and knocks on the door.

“Come in!” I yelled.

Aqua opens the door and asks, “Hey, Flare. Ya have a minute?”

“Of course! Come in!” I said, and then Aqua walks inside and closes the door behind him.

“Ah have the feelin’ Rainbow’s right.” AppleJack said.

“See? Flare’s too busy to see us, but he has time for his friends!” Rainbow said angrily.

“Now, calm down, Rainbow Dash. I’m pretty sure Flare has his reasons.” Rarity said.

“Ah don’t think it really matters either way. We were pretty much just advisers to him. Ah don’t care. We were fine without him.” AppleJack said.

“Yeah, well… neither do I!” Rainbow said.

“Now, maybe it’s just his best friends he’s able to talk to. Maybe he won’t have time for most other ponies either.” Rarity said. Just then, out in the flash, my friend Adventure "Keith" Blade walks over to my office door and knocks on it.

“Come in!” I yelled as he eventually opens the door. “KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEITH!” I yelled excitedly.

“Flaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaare!” Keith yelled excitedly.

“Come in, brah! Come in!” I said as he walks inside.

"Check please.” Rarity requested.

Hours went by, and the Mane Six returned to the library, and meanwhile, I was closing up my shop. Lyra and Bonnie went on home, and I was just about to walk home alongside Spike. “So, you got any plans tonight, brah?” I asked him.

“Well, since Twilight and the others are having their slumber party, I thought you and I should do something.” Spike said.

“Slumber party? Wow, cool! Why didn’t you stay?” I asked.

“Mares only.” Spike said.

“Oh… well that stinks, man. Maybe I should go to that party!” I said.

“Didn’t you hear what I said? I said mares only.” Spike said.

“I have a mare’s face.” I said.

“No you don- wait, now that I look at your face real good, it does look like a mare’s face.” Spike said.

“Yep. I’m a stallion with a mare’s face. That was pretty much one of the other reasons why I was teased a lot back at home.” I said.

“Sorry about that, dude.” Spike said.

“No problemo, brah; us Guns all have mare faces. My dad has a mare’s face, my grandpas have mare faces, my uncles, my cousins, it’s a family curse.” I said.

“Soooooo that means the mares in your family have stallion faces?” Spike asked.

“No, they still have mare faces.” I said.

“Oh.” Spike said.

“They all have stallion stomachs though.” I said. “That’s pretty much why my mom and sister are so fat.”

“They are?” Spike asked.

“Lawl no, but when they look in the mirror, they always think so.” I said.

“Don’t all mares think that?” Spike asked.

A cutaway shows an average sized mare looking at herself in the mirror, and when she looks at herself in the mirror, she looks obese. “Ugh! I am so fat and ugly. No stallion would want me.”

An average stallion then looks at himself in the mirror and he sees himself all buff and bulk. “Yeeeaah! I’m looking good! All the mares would want me!”

“This proceeding joke was brought to you by: stallions!” a TV announcer said.

“Stallions: We know how to be jerks!” a chorus in the background sang. The cutaway ends.

“So we can’t go to Twilight’s slumber party, huh?” I asked.

“Her rules, not mine.” Spike said.

“Well that’s no prob! We’re gonna have our own slumber party right at my trailer! No mares allowed… except for Crystal.” I said.

“Why Crystal?” Spike asked.

“She’s stallion at heart.” I said.

“I’m mare at heart and Twilight still didn’t invite me.” Spike said.

“Well, the rules will differ in our party. Come on! Let’s go set up the trailer!” I said. So the both of us went over to my trailer to set everything up.

Meanwhile at Twilight's house, Twilight and her friends were getting everything ready for the slumber party. “Slumber party, here we go! No work, no stallions, no rules!” Rainbow said.

“No rules? We’re not gonna overdo it on cider and start making out with the Blue Man Group are we?” AppleJAck asked.

"Don't my cozy PJs look so fantastic?" Rarity asked as she wore her purple PJs full of crystals on them.

"You over use the crystals sometimes, Rarity, ya gotta slow down.” AppleJack suggested.

"I think it looks pretty! Look at that red one!" Pinkie pointed.

"Okay so what should we do first?" Twilight asked.

"I think we should do a MAKE-OVEEEEER!" Rarity said in a high-pitched voice.

"Always with the make overs. Ah think we should get some snacks. Ah sure am hungry." AppleJack said.

"If it's okay... um... how about we just... watch some nice TV?” Flutters asked.

"Or how about PILLOW FIGHT!?" Rainbow yelled as she hit Fluttershy with a pillow.

"Eep! No, please!" Flutters said as she cowered on the floor.

"How about we dance?" Pinkie suggested as she turned on her stereo and took out her microphone. "Karaoke! I'll sing, and you girls dance!" Pinkie then starts singing. "My name is Pinkie, and-"

"No. Not yet." AppleJack said.

"You know what? We should all do something we all agree on!" Twilight suggested.

"Good idea Twilight! But... uhh... what will that be?" Rarity asked.

"That's what we should think about." Twilight said.

"I WANT TO DEFEAT THE GIANT MONKEY COLT AND SAVE THE NINTH DEMENTION!" Pinkie yelled. Everypony just looked at her awkwardly.

"We could have an eatin’ contest.” AppleJack suggested.

"How about we watch a scary movie?" Rainbow suggested in a creepy voice.

"NO!" Fluttershy yelled. "Umm... I mean, please.... how about a sweet gentle.... nature movie?"

"How about we decorate the library?" Rarity suggested.

"I dunno, Rarity. I kinda like the library the way it is." Twilight said as she continued thinking of what to do. "Hmm.... how about some Uno?”

“Pffffffft!” Rainbow raspberries. “Card games are for squares!”

“Like pants!” Timmy’s Dad added.

“Oh, Mr. Turner, I forgot you were here. I’m not in need of your services anymore tonight.” Twilight said.

“Ok, but mark my words: if I smell a single stench of Dinkleberg on you, I’ll have your tails cut off, and hung them over my fireplace!” Timmy’s Dad threatened her in a creepy voice as he leaned close to her.

“You don’t have a fireplace.” Twilight corrected him.

“Oh… well then, I guess no tail cutting. Well, carry on then! Bye, Timmy!” Timmy’s Dad said.

“Timmy?” Twilight asked.

“What? Oh sorry, you kinda remind me of my son in a way.” Timmy’s Dad said as he walked out awkwardly.

"Ooo! Ooo! Prank calling! That sounds like fun!" Pinkie suggested.

"That'll put us into trouble." Twilight said.

“Then how about we play Trouble?” Pinkie suggested.

"How about we play tag?" Rainbow asked.

"Not enough space in the library." Twilight said.

"Such a childish game, tag." Rarity said. "How about we draw pictures?"

"Too borin." AppleJack said. "How about we bake something?”

"Always with the food, AppleJack!" Rarity said.

"Always with the fashion, Rarity!" AppleJack said.

"Or.... maybe.... we could just.... go to sleep now?" Flutters asked while letting out a squee as she smiled.

"We can read." Twilight suggested.

"Twilight you're such an egghead!" Rainbow said.

"Oh I love eggs! Let's make eggs!" Pinkie suggested.

“Now wait, y’all, this is Twilight’s slumber party. Since we all can’t agree on an activity, let’s have Twilight choose.” AppleJack suggested.

“That sounds like a good idea!” Rarity said.

“Yeah, I’ll say!” Rainbow said.

“Go ahead, Twilight! Choose an activity for us!” Pinkie said. Pinkie leaned close to Twilight and whispered, "Prank calls!"

“Well… I’d normally oppose that, but… if you insist. I’m working on some new medicine potions with Zecora. With her brewing genius along with my magic, we can create antidotes to diseases that don’t have any cures yet.” Twilight said as she walks over to her potions counter and shows the potions to her friends.

“It’s not one those vitamin waters again, is it?” Pinkie asked.

“No, I stopped with that project. It turns Equestria has so many of those vitamin waters, so Zecora and I decided to go with finding cures.” Twilight said.

“You think you can find an instant cure to pony pocks?” Rarity asked.

“Perhaps, why?” Twilight asked.

“I have the feeling Sweetie Belle might be getting some soon.” Rarity said.

“So why not get a shot?” Twilight asked.

“And stick one of those biohazardous and disgusting needles inside her sweet little shoulder?! Never! Sweetie Belle deserves the best of the best!” Rarity said.

Meanwhile back at my trailer, Spike and I got the lounge all ready to go for our own slumber party. As I was hanging a few ribbons on the wall, I was singing to myself in a Jamaican; “Tonight is slumber party so we drink a lot tonight, drink a lot tonight, drink a lot tonight. Tonight is slumber party so we drink a lot tonight, drink a lot a lot a lot of Coca Colaaaaaa!”

“Flare, you should try out these nachos I made.” Spike offered as he ate a chip. “Twilight loves these.”

“Well I’ll take Twilight’s word for it.” I said as I took almost half of the nachos with my magic and ate them all one by one.

“Hey! You were only supposed to have one!” Spike complained.

“Quit your complaining; it’s time to go playing!” I said as the doorbell rang. “Ah, the guests are here!” I went over to the security area and activated my eyeball camera near the front door outside and I saw Crystal and Blaze out there, so I opened the door and greeted them.

“Crystal! Blaze! Good to see you!” I said.

“Why were you looking at me when you said ‘Blaze’?” Crystal asked.

“Does it matter?” I asked.

“I dunno, what do you think, Blaze?” Crystal asked.

“I dunno.” Blaze shrugged.

“It’s gonna be a bit awkward being the only mare at this slumber party.” Crystal said.

“But you’re stallion at heart, right?” I asked.

“I didn’t think I had a stallion’s heart.” Crystal said.

“No you have a stallion’s hear.... for Wizard of Hope’s Crystal, stop confusing me!” I yelled.

“I’m good at that aren’t I?” Crystal asked.

“A little too good.” I said.

“Wooo! Party in the house! Party in the house!” Engie yelled as he walked inside.

“Technically it’s a party in the ‘trailer’, Engie.” Blaze corrected him.

“Whateves.” Engie shrugged. “Dibs on the recliner chair.”

“Excuse me, Engie, but did I say you can come in?” I asked him.

“No, did ya need to?” Engie asked.

“Uhh, yeah. You didn’t knock, you just barged right in.” I said.

“The door is wide open.” Engie said.

“Your point?” I asked.

“That was my point.” Engie said.

“Didn’t seem like it.” I said.

“Well, it was.” Engie said.

“Not to me!” I said. Just then, Psyche ran inside the trailer carrying a bag full of comic books.

“Sorry I’m late. I was thinking our party should have comics, so I went to the comic store to get some.” Psyche said.

“Ok, so where are the newspapers then?” I asked.

“Say what now?” Psyche asked.

“You said comics instead of comic books. You see, comics are feeble attempts at humor featuring talking babies and anthropomorphized pets found traditionally in the optimistically named Funny Pages.” I explained. Everypony just looked at me awkwardly.

“So anyways I got plenty of comics, including Spider-Man-“ Psyche said until I interrupted him.

“Amazing Spider-Man, Ultimate Spider-Man, Spectacular Spider-Man, The Marvelous Adventures of Spider-Man, Spider-Man 2099?” I asked.

“I don’t know, I just got Spider-Man.” Psyche said.

“You just got Spider-Man, huh? You know if you just pick out a Spider-Man story without consulting on which version of Spider-Man it is, it’s like just buying a mattress, but even though ponies prefer a Tempurpedic, you go and buy a mattress that feels like it’s from the Sefton Park Hotel.” I explained. “Not to mention it may have bed bugs.”

“Whatever.” Psyche said.

“Yeah, right, whatever. We’re gonna get itchy tonight, ladies.” I said as I scratched my body. Just then Aqua walks inside with a cooler. “Another pony barges inside my trailer. Might as well invite the whole town.”

“I got us some snacks for the slumber party.” Aqua said.

“Nice, Aqua! What did you get?” Blaze asked as he was close to opening the cooler to check on what he brought.

“Nuh uh uh! Don’t open it just yet. There’s very sensitive items in there. Ya will need the proper equipment to make sure they’re ready to be eatin’.” Aqua said.

“Alright so we’re all here! What do we do first?” Spike asked.

“Ah was thinkin’ of singin’ y’all a song ‘bout my past.” Engie said as he took out his guitar.

“Alright, sure, maybe if we all choke on some popcorn kernels maybe we’ll listen to some.” Crystal teased.

“Alright, jeez, ya really didn’t have to be a jerk ‘bout it.” Engie said.

Back at Twilight’s house, Twilight takes out a few a little bit of the potion and pours in a few drops on some cookies that Pinkie made. “What’s this potion do?” Rarity asked.

“I’m not too sure yet, but if my calculations are correct, this potion will cause old-age to temporarily decelerate. 80 year old ponies would feel 50 with this stuff.” Twilight explained.

“Woooooow that is sooooo cool! If only I knew what it meant!” Pinkie said excitedly.

“It means it would make an old pony feel younger.” Twilight said.

“So if ah gave Granny Smith this stuff, it would make her feel young again?” AppleJack asked.

“Precisely!” Twilight said.

“I wanna feel young again!” Pinkie said as she was about to take a cookie.

“Pinkie, you’re like… in your twenties!” Rainbow corrected her.

“Now, now, this stuff has to be tested first.” Twilight said as she was about to give a cookie to Owlowiscious.

“You’re using Owlowiscious as a test subject?” Flutters asked.

“Don’t worry. I gave him a potion that would allow other potion’s effects to only affect him temporarily.” Twilight said as she gives Owlowiscious a cookie. He takes the cookie and nibbles on it, and out in the flash, his body starts shrinking into the size of a baby owl. He tried to fly, but he didn’t know how anymore. He started to lose grip and fell from the pole he was hanging on. Luckily, Fluttershy slid through the floor and grabbed him before he hit the ground.

“Wow, Twilight, he looks so young, and cute too!” Pinkie said.

“A little too young if you ask me.” Rainbow said.

“I suppose I might’ve overdid the potion.” Twilight thought.

“Well, ah dunno about y’all but ah’m a bit peckish.” AppleJack said.

“I brought cookies!” Pinkie cried out.

“Can you bring them over, Pinkie Pie, if you please?” Rarity asked as she got herself comfortable.

“Surely-O!” Pinkie said.

“Remember Pinkie, the cookies on the left are the test cookies. The unaltered cookies are on the right.” Twilight explained.

“Got it, Bop It… pull it, twist it, flick it, spin it.” Pinkie giggled as she brought over one of the tray of cookies to her friends and each of them grabbed one to nibble on.

“Girls, I’d like to pronounce a toast.” Rarity started as she held her cookie in the air.

“Toast? That isn’t toast, that’s a cookie.” Pinkie corrected her.

“To our friendship. May it last now and forever more.” Rarity said.

“To our friendship.” The girls said as they tapped their cookies against eachother and they all took a bite at the same time.

Back at our slumber party the seven of us were gathering around in the lounge and were getting ready to start our own slumber party. “The ladies are away, the boys will play.” Blaze said.

“And girl!” Crystal added.

“Anything can happen!” Engie said.

“It’s gonna be crazy!” Spike said.

“Dungeons and Dragons!” I yelled out with a Dungeons and Dragons board.

“I got a new seven piece set of polyhedral dice.” Aqua said as he takes out a set of dice, opens them, and takes a sniff of them. “Hello, new dice smell!”

“I’ve got my helm of lordly might, my boots of speed, and if things get too exciting, my inhaler of asthma.” Psyche said as he took out his inhaler.

“Ah got my new bloodthirsty savage warrior who will lay waste to all who stand before him. And ah had a sensible salad for lunch, so I can eat all the pizza ah want.” Engie said.

“Come on, are we gonna sit around chatting like a bunch of teenage girls, or are we gonna play D&D like a bunch of teenage boys who are never gonna make-out with those teenage girls?!” Blaze asked excitedly.

“Friendship! Friendship! Friendship!” the Mane Six all chanted from their slumber party.

“The Dungeon of Mofooskay-Heeko! The Dungeon of Mofooskay-Heeko! The Dungeon of Mofooskay-Heeko!” the seven of us chanted from our slumber party, and then right after the excitement, Psyche shakes his inhaler and uses it.

“Wait a minute, I think I left my Sword of Masamune back at Twilight’s place. Mind if I go get it real quick?” Spike asked.

“Not at all, but isn’t Twilight having her slumber party right now?” I asked.

“She is, but I just wanna go in, grab it, and run back here as fast as I can so we hit the town for some Double D action!” Spike said.

“Double D action?” Crystal asked.

“Dungeons and Dragons, it has two D’s in there.” Spike informed her as he ran out of the trailer quickly and back to Twilight’s house so he can get his sword. He opens the door to the library, and said, “I know you girls are having your slumber party right now, but I need to get my- what the?!” Spike was surprised to see six foals who were crawling on the floor, whom looked a lot like the Mane Six. “Um, girls? Why did you dress six foals to look like you? I know I’m not supposed to get your girl-type slumber parties, but this is ridiculous.” Spike said as he picked up foal Fluttershy and observed her. Fluttershy covered her face in shyness. AppleJack was started kicking Spike’s leg, and Rainbow Dash was flying above his head. “Wait a minute, these foals also share your personalities? Wait… uh oh!”

Spike ran back to my trailer to share the news on what’s going on. The six of us rushed over to Twilight’s house to observe the foals. “Wow, not only did the Mane Six make these foals look exactly like them, they also share their personalities. Oh snap!” Crystal said as she observed Pinkie Pie who kept poking Crystal’s nose.

“No, Crystal, I believe they really are foals, but how?” Blaze asked.

“Look over here; it looks like the girls brewed up some potion.” Psyche said as he observed the potion.

“You’re right, Psyche, but it’s unlike the girls to just drink the potion all at once.” Aqua said as he too observed the area.

“Ah think it’s these cookies.” Engie said.

“What makes you think that?” Blaze asked.

“If ah’m analyizin this correctly, it looks like this potion uses an instant affect. The potion might’ve been inside these cookies that the Mane Six ate.” Engie explained.

“Including Owlowiscious it seems.” Spike said as he looked at baby Owlowiscious who was comforting himself on one of the beanbag chairs on the floor. Foal Twilight suddenly crawls over to Spike. He notices her and picks her up. "Twilight?" he said to her. The baby Twilight just burped and giggled. "Twilight do you remember me?" he asked her.

Just then Twilight just held her hooves out and said, "Dada!"

"Yep. She lost her mind." Spike said.

“What are we gonna do? We can’t just leave them here.” Blaze said.

“If I remember correctly, the Mane Six said specifically, no stallions allowed. Let the girls have their little slumber party, and we can come back to them later.” I suggested.

“No, man, we can’t do that! They’re babies now, and we have to go find help.” Blaze said.

“I think I may know one who might be able to help them.” Aqua said. The seven of us brought the foals over to Zecora’s hut so she can check up on them and the potion they drank. Zecora takes a drop from the potion out of the vial, and places the drop under her micro-scope and she takes a peek inside.

“Hmm, this is fascinating, I may say, of how a medical potion can be effective this way.” Zecora said.

“Ya think ya can help out?” Aqua asked.

“I will help out as you know, but when you came in, you never said hello.” Zecora pointed out.

“It’s true. We just bursted inside and asked her to help us.” Psyche said.

“I seem to always be a tool as the days go by; nopony comes in just to say hi.” Zecora said.

“That’s not true!” Crystal said.

“Isn’t it true now Crystal Iceblast? Or do you just forget what happened last week that fast?” Zecora asked.

Wow, I can’t believe Zecora made a cutaway gag. The gag shows Crystal at Zecora’s hut last week in panic. “Zecora! I need your help!” she yelled as she bursted inside.

“What can I assist you with?” Zecora asked.

“I need you to open this pickle jar for me.” Crystal said as she showed Zecora her pickle jar. The cutaway ends.

“So you think you’ll be able to brew up a potion to get these fillies back to their own age again?” Blaze asked.

“I’ll be able to whip up something, but cannot finish close to now, for now you’ll have to take care of these foals.” Zecora said. Just then foal Pinkie pulls on one of Zecora’s ear rings. “OW!” the zebra yelled.

“Did she actually know she was gonna say ‘ow’ during the rhyme in that sentence or was that just a coincidence?” I asked.

“The rhyme you just did seems like a coincidence to me though.” Spike said.

“I may be able to get this potion done by tomorrow morning, but you’ll have to take care of them for the time being.” Zecora said.

“No way, sista! I have no experience in foal-sitting.” I said as foal Fluttershy crawled up to my leg and hugged it. I smiled and said, "Awww, you can never say no to Fluttershy, let alone a baby of her. Alright I’m in.”

“We’ll all pitch in at taking care of them like they’re our own children.” Aqua said as he picked up foal Twilight.

“I’m in if it means holding a baby Rarity in my arms.” Spike said as he picked her up.

“I’ll always be there for my darling Rainbow Dash.” Blaze said as he picked her up.

“Wait, so you’re married to a baby, right Blaze? Does that make you a… you know… a pedophile?” I asked.

“NO!” Blaze yelled.

“Oh really? Cause it would seem like it.” I said.

“Wow, you’re sick, Blaze.” Engie said.

“Shut up!” Blaze yelled.

“Alright, let’s all calm down. We will pull through with this. We’ll take care of these ponies better than when Michelangelo took care of Mine Turtle.” Aqua said.

A cutaway shows Michelangelo of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles along with Mine Turtle. “Hello, little guy!” he said.

“Hello!” Mine Turtle said.

“Ooooh sweeeet! Hey guys, look at this! It’s a talking turtle!” Michelangelo said to his brothers.

“Uhh, dude, WE ARE talking turtles.” Leonardo corrected him.

“Him and I are gonna be best friends forever!” Michelangelo said.

“You better take care of him better than your last pet, the one you keep ‘accidently’ dropping on the ground because you’re too much of a klutz.” Leonardo said.

“Relax, man! I won’t drop him this time.” Michelangelo promised. The cutaway ends.

So the seven of us carried the baby Mane Six back to my place. Crystal was making racing car sounds as she carried Twilight, AppleJack, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy on her back. Spike came in with Rarity on his shoulders.

"You know, you dudes could've helped me out." Crystal said.

"I helped! See? I'm carrying Rarity." Spike said.

"What has AppleJack been eating? You know how heavy she is?" Crystal asked.

"If a foal is heavy, that means you have to change a diaper." Engie teased.

Aqua sniffs AppleJack's diaper. "No, I think she just eats alot. Her diaper is fine."

"Where did the diapers come from anyway?" Spike asked.

"Maybe they were having a diaper slumber party and they were already wearing them." I teased.

"So who’s gonna stay and watch them, and who’s gonna get some supplies at the store?” Aqua asked.

"Spike, you go.” I instructed him.

“I’ll only go if Rarity comes along.” Spike demanded.

“Alright, but be careful with her.” I instructed him.

“I’d be extra careful with her even if she were still an adult.” Spike said.

"Well, somepony’s gotta get some food for AppleJack here; she’s teething on my ear.” Psyche said.

"Here’s my credit card, Spike.” I said as I gave him my credit card.

“Ok!” Spike said as he was just about to grab it, but I swooped it away quickly.

“Only buy what the babies need, alright?” I asked.

“I read you loud and clear, Flare.” Spike said.

“Are you sure? Last time you used my credit card there was a ferries wheel outside of the library.” I said.

“Relax, Flare, I got it all under control.” Spike said.

"Fine." I said as I levitated the foals off Crystal’s back and onto the sofa and gave Spike my credit card and a list. “And here’s a list of stuff you should buy.”

“Why do you want me to get Ginger Ale?” Spike asked as he read the list.

“I’m out. You can do an errand for me while you’re at it.” I said. “Now be sure you check that list and you check it twice!”

“Sounds naughty, but nice!” Spike said as he read the list a second time. “Wait, you want me to get plugs?”

“Affirmative.” I said.

“You trying to kill them?” Spike asked.

“No, by plugs I meant binkies.” I said.

“Binky!” Pinkie said excitedly.

”Exactly.” I said.

Spike paused for a second in confusion. "Oooookay." He then picks up Rarity and walks out with the shopping list. "C'mon Rarity."

"Alright everypony. Let's go in a circle and-" I paused for a sec and saw all the babies were gone. "Aw c'mon! Already?"

“Ya should’ve kept them on Crystal’s back.” Engie said.

“Nuh uh.” Crystal said.

“Well Flare, if you look down, at least you still have Fluttershy.” Psyche pointed to my leg.

I looked down and I saw baby Fluttershy hanging on my leg, staring at me with her big cute turquoise eyes. "D'awwww! That's a good Fluttershy. Stay on my leg so I can look for your friends."

Just then, Blaze takes a sniff and he smelled the smoke that came up his nose. "You smell something burning?" he asked.

“Oh no! Flare you didn’t leave an oven on did you?” Engie asked.

“No! But… one of the foals…THE BATHROOM!" I yelled. "No, wait... THE KITCHEN!" I ran into the kitchen and saw AppleJack placing random kitchen props and food into the oven, stove, and microwave. "AppleJack stop!" I yelled as I turned off the microwave, the oven, and the stove, then I placed AppleJack on Psyche’s back. "No AppleJack! The kitchen is not a place for a foal. Psyche, please watch over her while I find the others.”

“Wow, you said please to me. That was probably the nicest thing you ever said to me, Flare.” Psyche said.

I started running around the trailer to find more foals. The next foal I found was in the exercise room where Twilight was lifting a weight with her magic. "TWILIGHT!" I yelled. Twilight uses her magic to levitate the weight over herself, but then I slid across the floor and pushed Twilight out of the way, but then the weight falls on my head. Stars started floating around the top of my head, and then a great big bump popped up. "Yay! I saved Twilight's life! Happy face!" I said in a dizzy tone. Flare shook his head real fast, and I picked up Twilight. "The Exercise Room is not a place for babies either."

“I didn’t know ya lifted weights.” Aqua said.

“I don’t, it’s just to impress the ladies.” I said as I placed Twilight on Aqua’s back. Just then I heard the sound of somepony flushing the toilet. "The kitchen!" I cried. "No, wait.... the attic! Wait... I don't have an attic. BATHROOM!"

Meanwhile, at the super market, Spike was looking at baby food along with Rarity in the shopping cart. "Let's see, baby food." he said to himself. "Carrot, banana, apple, squash, spinach.... yuck! What do you think Rarity?" Rarity was kicking and giggling. "Good idea! The apple can be for AppleJack, and I guess Rainbow Dash likes carrot. Oh, cake flavored! Pinkie would love that!" Rarity looks around the market, and finds a giant diamond up ahead. Rarity smiles as she stares at it. Rarity climbs out of the cart while Spike isn't looking, jumps onto the floor, and starts crawling towards the diamond.

"Why does Flare want to give a baby some plugs?" Spike asked himself. "Putting plug outlets in baby's mouths? That's.... shocking. Wait, did I just make a ridiculous pun? What do you think Rarity?" Spike asked as he looks inside the shopping cart and sees Rarity was not there. "OH NO!" Spike started to get worried. Spike searched all around the isle but he couldn’t find her. He started to freak out over the missing foal. "RARITY!? RARITY?! WHERE ARE YOOOOOOOU?!" he screamed.

Meanwhile, back at the trailer, I ran into the bathroom and saw the toilet flushed with a diaper sticking out of the drain. "OH NO!” I yelled as I looked down the toilet and stuck my hoof inside. “No! No! No! No! NO! I LOST ONE OF THE MANE SIX!" I started to panic. I screamed and ran around the bathroom like maniac until I slammed my head on the towel rack and I collapsed on the floor, rubbing my head. Just then a diaperless Pinkie Pie starts hopping on my belly, giggling and playing.

"Oh phew, that’s a relief! You tried to flush your diaper down the toilet, huh Pinks?” I asked and chuckled. “Ow! If I keep bumping my head on stuff, I’m gonna get a concussion.” I said as I rubbed my head after I slammed into the towel rack before. I took Pinkie off my head and placed her on Crystal’s back. I took the diaper out of the toilet and it was soaking wet. "Hmm.... this diaper is too wet. But I don't have any diapers. Spike's not back yet. Hey, Crystal, how many foals do we have so far?”

“We have Fluttershy, AppleJack, Pinkie Pie, Twilight, and Rarity's with Spike.” She said.

“So all that leaves is Rainbow Dash.” I said. Just then, I suddenly heard something break from another room. "Hang on Dashie, I'm coming!" I ran into my bedroom where Rainbow was flying all over the room. While she was flying around, knocking stuff over and making a mess; the fish were watching.

"I didn't know Flare had kids." Dorthey said.

"Did he marry a Pegasus or something?” Piddles asked.

"I didn't even know Flare was married." Pearl said.

"This foal sure looks fun!" Darrel said as he started swimming in circles.

Out of the blue (which was actually the color of my walls) Rainbow Dash knocks over the fish tank and crash lands. "FISHIES!" I yelled.

"Wooo! That was fun!" Darrel said as he started swimming around the knocked over fish tank.

"THAT WAS TENSE, DARREL!" Pearl yelled.

"Oh Pearl, you need to loosen up. You too Dorthey." Darrel said.

"At least we're safe." Pearl said.

"That little foal is nothing but trouble!" Rainbow (my fish) yelled.

Before I did anything else, I picked up the fish tank with my magic and places it back in it’s original spot. "Darrel? Pearlie? Rainbow? Dorthey? Yoyo? Piddles? You guys alright?" I asked them.

Darrel was swimming around happy, Yoyo and Piddles were spinning around looking dizzy, Dorthey and Rainbow hid in one of the vases, and Piddles was sleeping.

“Oh c’mon, Piddles! How can you be sleeping at a time like this?!” Yoyo asked.

“I’m an albino catfish. I always sleep.” Piddles said. After I checked on the fish, I saw Rainbow still flying around my room. Blaze, however was able to catch her.

“Even as a foal, she’s still a hip flyer!” Blaze said.

“This is tense, brah!” I said.

“Is it tense? Maybe it’s elevense, or twelvese.” Crystal teased.

“CRYSTAL?! Where’s Pinkie?!” I asked her as I saw she wasn’t on her back.

“Oh, I dunno.” Crystal said.

“HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW?!” I panicked.

“Ah got her, she’s on my back. Ah dunno how she got there though.” Engie said.

“That Pinkie sure is a clever one. I've seen her do pretty cartoonish things throughout the time I knew her.” Psyche said.

A cutaway shows Psyche looking at an empty plate where his lunch used to be. “Pinkie, did you eat my sandwich?” he asked her.

“I am your sandwich.” Pinkie said as she started climbing inside Psyche’s mouth. The cutaway ends.

So the six of us placed the Mane Six right on the couch. "Okay, it looks like we have to set up some rules." I started. "First rule: Stay in our sight. Second rule: Stay out of the kitchen and the Exercise Room. Third rule: No flying around. Fourth rule: Play nice. Fifth rule: Don’t let me eat pears, I hate pears. Sixth rule: And this is the most important rule! Stay away from the fish tank! That was a naughty thing you did Rainbow Dash!" Rainbow Dash then passed gas, then giggled. "Where is Spike with those supplies?"

“So what we gonna do?” Aqua asked.

“We might need to improvise while taking care of the Mane Six. I dunno how long it’ll take for Zecora to brew up that potion, but until then, we have to treat these foals as our own.” Psyche explained.

“This is like Three Men and the Baby, except there’s six of us and five of them.” Engie said.

“I can feel how this is going to end.” Blaze said.

Just then, Twilight started using her magic to levitate the coffee table. "NO Twilight! NO! No magic!" Twilight then started to cry, and then everypony else started to cry as well. "NO, NO, NO!" I yelled out as I started tugging on my hair and started to have a nervous break down. "THAT'S IT!”

“Flare! Calm down, man!” Blaze said.

”YOU CALM DOWN!” I yelled at him.

“Umm, I’m not freaking out like you.” Blaze said.

”Who says I’m freaking out? I’m not freaking out! Do I sound crazy to you? Hmm? Do I sound like a crazy pony to you, Blaze? And do I have to keep talking like this?” I asked in a crazy voice.

“Uhh, yes, yes, annnnnnnd no.” Blaze said.

“We have to have a team meeting.” I said.

Meanwhile at the super market, Spike was looking all around the store for Rarity. "RARITY?! WHERE ARE YOU?!" he called out. Rarity climbed up the shelves and made her way to the diamond. The diamond was nothing but a cardboard so Rarity kicked it down, and then she crawled around the top of the shelves some more. Spike ran up to the customer service desk and asked one of the employees, "Excuse me? Have you seen a little white foal around? Purple mane, super beautiful?”

"No I haven't." he said. Just then Spike heard giggles coming from the top of the shelves. Spike looked up and saw Rarity crawling around.

"RARITY! Come right down here this instant!" Spike ordered her. Rarity stuck out her tongue at Spike and kept on crawling. "RARITY, if you don't come down here, you'll be in big trouble young filly!" Rarity continued not to listen. "Rarity, I'm gonna count to three, and you better be down here! One... two.... three...." Out of the flash, Rarity throws a cereal box at Spike, then she giggled. Spike let out a huge sigh. "Okay Rarity, I guess we're going to have to do this the hard way!" And he didn’t mean that in a way he normally thinks of it, like when she was still an adult.

Back at the trailer, my friends and I gathered around for a team meeting. “Alright, brahs, I’m not sure how we can do this. Does any of you have any experience in taking care of foals?”

"I study Psychics and Astronomy, I'm not a baby sitter." Psyche said.

“And I’m a Wonderbolt.” Blaze said.

“And ah’m an engineer.” Engie said.

“Ok, ok we get it. I’m not sure what to do. The Mane Five just keep crying over nothing! They’re wilder than a jolly rancher with a Jolly Rancher.” I said.

A cutaway shows Hayseed Turnip Truck showing off his Jolly Rancher candy to his cows, family and farming equipment. “Oi! Lookie here Daisy-Jo! Ah got mahself a Jolly Rancher! ‘Ey Apple Brown Betty, ah got a Jolly Rancher! Oi, Betsey!” he said to his tracker. “Ah done got mahself a Jolly Rancher!” Hayseed opens it up and eats it. “And it’s warter merlin! Now, Betsey, ah’m gonna ride ya through the corn fields and shout out to the wurld ‘bout mah Jolly Rancher.” Hayseed jumps on his tractor and rides it through the corn fields while standing on his seat with his hooves in the air and yelling, “Woooooooooooooo! Ah’m the jolliest rancher of the Jolly Ranchers! Woooooooo!”

Just then, Xzibit pops out of nowhere and says, “Yo dawg! I heard you like jolly ranchers! So we gave a Jolly Rancher to a jolly rancher!” The cutaway ends.

"So what do we do now?" Aqua asked.

"I-D-K what to do anymore." I said.

"We have to get them to stop crying!" Crystal said.

"Ok sounds good, Crystal! I did not think of that! While we're at it, why don't we breathe and blink every few seconds, and eat three meals a day besides snack and dessert, and while we're at it, LET'S SLEEP EVERY NIGHT?!" I suggested sarcastically than I did a sarcastic laugh that sounded like two dog pants.

"Jeez, Flare, you really didn't need to be a jerk about it." Crystal said.

"I know, my attitude problem comes from my mom's side." I said.

"What do you guys think will cheer them up?" Psyche asked.

"Ah know. Maybe a nice smooth country song will put them to sleep." Engie suggested. He sits on the couch with his guitar and turns the dials at the end of the guitar to make sure the tune right. "Pardon me young foals. Ah would look to sing ya'll a smooth song. It'll wipe those tears right away." Engineer clears his throat, and plays 'All My Ex's Live In Texas' by George Strait on his guitar. It goes a little something like this:

"All my ex's live in Pexas. And Pexas is a place I'd dearly love to be. But all my ex's live in Pexas. And that's why I hang my hat, in Fillisee. Rose Luck's down in Pexarkana wanted me to push her broom. Sweet Lileen's on Avalene she forgot I hung the moon. And Sunnison in Hoofington somehow lost her sanity. And Kissimple's who lives in Temple's got the law looking for me."

While Engineer was singing the song, the foals started to calm down. Crystal waved her head back and forth as she was holding Pinkie, but she didn't want to be the only one, so she placed her hoof on Blaze's head and shook his head back and forth. Blaze then glares at her.

"Cause all my ex's live in Pexas. And Pexas is a place ah'd dearly love to be. But all my ex's live in Pexas. And that's why ah hang my hat, in Fillisee. I remember that old Filly River where I learned to swim. But it brings to mind another time where I wore my welcome thin. By transcendental meditation I go there each night. But I always come back to myself long before daylight!"

While Engineer was singing, he starts to get flashbacks of himself learning to swim and meditating, and hanging with his ex's and everything; some tears fell out of Engie's eyes. He was still playing his guitar, and the foals were feeling tired and started falling asleep.

"Hope we won't have to sing to you too." Crystal whispered.

"But all my ex's live in Pexas." Engie continued. "And Pexas is a place I'd dearly love to be. But all my ex's live in Pexas. And that's why I hang my hat, in Fillisee. Some folks think I'm hidin', it's been rumored that I died." Just then Engie suddenly shouted. "BUT I'M ALIVE AND WELL IN FILLISEE!" Then Engie slammed his guitar on the ground and shouted like a rockstar. "YEEEEEAAAAAAH!" The foals suddenly started crying again, except for Rainbow Dash, who is cheering.

"Well Engineer, it helped, but the screaming and breaking your guitar in the end was completely unnecessary." Psyche said.

"Ya think ya can do better, Psyche?" Engie asked.

"Well I don't know how to play the guitar, but I know how to please a filly!" Psyche said.

"But Psyche, those are foal fillies." Crystal reminded him.

"Foal filly, full-grown filly, I know how to please a filly." Psyche said as he walked over to the foals with a cool smile, and throws a bag of bits in front of them. "No filly can resist a good amount of money." Rainbow Dash looked at the bag of bits, threw it at Psyche, and started crying again."I don't understand. It always works!" he said as AppleJack takes one of the bits and teeths on it. "Well it worked on one of them." he said.

“Psyche, foals don't know anything about money!" Blaze said. "What they need Psyche, is something to make them smile!"

"You think I know what foals like, Blaze?" Psyche asked. "I never took care of one before."

“Watch and learn, my friend! Watch and learn.” Blaze said as he puts a clown nose on his nose and said in a wacky. "Hey kids! It's Goldheart the clown! Wanna see me make a balloon animal?" Blaze takes an unblown balloon, and blows it up. "Ta da! It's an earth worm!" Pinkie Pie was giggling and bouncing, but the other foals were crying still.

"I was only able to make Pinkie happy." Blaze said.

"Step aside, Goldheart. I'll show you how it's done." Crystal said.

"Ya know what to do, right Crystal?" Aqua asked.

"Of course I do, Aqua! I'm a pro on the little ones! I'll be right back!" Crystal then runs out of the room, and the foals are still crying, and the five of us just waited. Crystal comes back with a bunny suit and starts hoping around. “Hippity hippity, hoppity hoppity; my tail is quite fluffy, my ears are quite floppity; I sing and I dance and you can't make me stoppity; Said funny bunny to sweet little girl.” Crystal sang to the foals and she bops Fluttershy’s nose. All the foals still cry, except for Fluttershy. Fluttershy crawls over to the bunny and hugs it. "It seems I only made Fluttershy happy." Crystal said.

"Well, if it’s alright with ya, I think it would help if I had a turn now. What they need is a little magic." Aqua's horn glows, then he lifts the couch up and gently rocks it back and fourth. The foals still cry, but Twilight seems to be enjoying it. "It's only Twilight that's admiring my work." Aqua said as he gentley drops the couch back on the floor.

“The babies are still sitting in my spot. I really don’t like it when ponies sit there except for me.” I said.

"It seems each of us are only making one foal happy." Psyche said.

"You're right, Psyche.” Engie said.

"Hey, what if we took each foal, and took care of it on our own?" Blaze suggested.

"Good idea, dude!" Crystal said. "I guess I'll take Fluttershy."

"I'll take AppleJack." Psyche said.

"I'll take Pinkie." Blaze said.

“Dibs on Rainbow.” Engie said.

"And I'll take Twilight." Aqua said.

"But what about you Flare?" Psyche asked.

"Maybe if one of you takes a break, I'll take over. Maybe I'll get the bath ready for them or something.” I suggested.

“Good idea. You do that, and we’ll take care of things from here.” Engie said.

“Isn’t this is nice though? The six of us working together, backing up for the Mane Six. I really never thought this would happen.” I said.

“Anything is possible, Flare.” Blaze said. “Even if you don’t think something’s not going to happen, you should expect it to happen.”

“Even though we did prefer Dungeons and Dragons, it was nice changing plans to help friends out, regardless of the circumstances.” Aqua said.

Back at the super market, Spike was still trying to get Rarity down from the top of the shelves. "Alright Rarity, I'm coming up!" he said as he started climbing up the shelf. "I'm almost there! A little more, aaaaaaand... Woo! I did it!" he yelled in excitement as he made it to the top of the shelf, but as his luck got pushed, Rarity waves to Spike from another shelf. "WHAT?! H-how did you.... nevermind. I can jump this." Spike runs back to get a running start, and in super slow-mo, Spike jumps the shelf and as it looks like he'll make it, he falls down. Rarity laughs at Spike as he lays there in pain. Spike starts to get real angry; steam blows out of his ears and he yells out, "THAT'S IT!" During his anger, he kicks the shelf, unaware of his own strength, the shelf Rarity's sitting on gets knocked over and lands on another shelf that topples on another shelf, and another shelf, and another shelf like dominos. Shelves just kept getting knocked over until all the shelves in the store fall over. Everypony in the store looks at Spike, which makes him really embarrassed, but as it regained his senses, he looked around and saw Rarity wasn’t in sight. "RARITY!" he yelled. He runs over to the end of the shelves where he sees a white hoof sticking out and twitching. "Oh no!" he said as he starts tearing up. "I'm sorry, Rarity! I am so sorry! I don't know what gone into me! I’ll never make a good father, ever!" Spike started crying while holding the little hoof, but then Rarity pops up on Spike's back and cuddles his head. "Hi Rarity." he said sadly, wiping a tear. Just then, he paused and smiled big in surprise. "RARITY!" he yelled. Spike hugged the foal real tight. "I am so sorry! I promise I won't do anything like that ever again! But wait, if you’re here, then who’s under the shelf?” Spike places Rarity back on the floor, and lifts the shelf and sees a toothpaste bottle squirting white toothpaste out of it. “Oh.”

The store manager appears behind Spike and clears his throat. "You do realize, you're going to have to pay for this right?"

Spike gets embarrassed and chuckles. “Well... umm.... how much?”

“By the looks of the store, I’d say over 11,000 bits.” the manager said.

“Oh, well then, umm.....” Spike knew he didn’t have that much money, so he needed to find a distraction for the manager so he can escape "Oh look, a shipment of colon!" Spike said as he pointed to the back of the store.

The store manager turns his head. "WHERE?!" the manager looked around, and during that time, Spike runs away. Spike knew that every store manager can’t resist colon. Store managers are normally stinky, and live in studios, and hardly take any showers, but that’s beside the point. Spike escapes the store with Rarity, fleeing the scene.

Spike runs back to my trailer and runs inside with Rarity. "Flare? Flare? Where are you?" he called out.

"We're in here, brah!" I yelled from the Living Room. Spike runs inside and sees everypony entertaining each foal.

"Welcome, Spike!" Crystal said as she was playing with Fluttershy.

"Ya'll just in time too!" Engie said as he was taking care of Rainbow Dash.

"What's going on?" Spike asked.

"We're taking care of the foals Spike! What else?" Blaze said.

"You had fun with the foals without me?" Spike asked.

"You mad bro?" I teased "How was your time at the store?"

"Uhh.... fine. Just great!" Spike said with an embarrassed look on his face.

"Join us, Spike!" Aqua offered.

"Alright! C'mon Rarity, let's have fun!" Spike said as he sat down with us and played along with Rarity.

“Sometimes your definition of fun scares me.” I said. And so, the seven of us played with the Mane Six, fed them, and later on, each of us took the foals to the bed inside my guest bedroom.

"Aww! They look like angels when they sleep!" Crystal said as we tucked the Mane Six in.

“Wait a minute, are you saying they look dead?” I asked. Crystal then gives me a glare. Each of us smiled at the foals as we walked out of the room. The seven of us walked to my bedroom where I was feeding my fish.

"AAH! Dorthey!" I yelled.

"What happened, man?” Blaze asked.

"Dorthey splashed me again!" I said.

"Ya always get splashed by that fish." Engie said. "Ah gotta say, your fish are somethin."

"I agree." Psyche said. "You know, that was actually fun! Having the Elements of Harmony as foals, and us taking care of them, was really fun!”

"We make a pretty great team, the six of us!" Aqua said.

“You know, we should make our own group.” Crystal suggested.

"Yeah, since Twilight, AppleJack, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, and Rarity can’t rely on EVERYTHING by themselves, they need a backup, in case of emergencies such as this.” Psyche said.

“You’re right, Psyche! For every hero needs a sidekick.” I said.

“I’m kinda Twilight’s sidekick.” Spike said.

“Oh like you can handle all that by yourself.” I teased.

“What shall we name our group though? Since they’re the Mane Six, what should we be?” Blaze asked.

"The Secondary Six!" Engie yelled.

“Not original enough, how about the Hipster Six? We are pretty hip aren’t we?” Crystal asked.

"Derpy, Bon Bon, Lyra, Vinyl Scratch, Octavia, and the Doctor are already called the Hipster Six." Blaze said.

"How about the Epic Six?" Aqua asked.

"The Ownage Six?" Psyche asked.

"The Blaze Six?" Blaze asked.

"The Sixty Six?" Crystal asked.

“Wait, did Blaze just say ‘the Blaze Six’?” Spike asked.

“I did.” Blaze said.

“Why?” Spike asked.

“I dunno. It was just the first thing that came to mind.” Blaze said.

"Ooo, ooo! I KNOW! I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW!" I yelled out with my hoof in the air.

"Yes, Flare? What’s your answer?” Psyche asked.

“Yeah, dude, spit it out!” Crystal said.

“NOT really.” Blaze added.

"Buzzkill, brah." I said to him. "Anyways, I think we should call this group.... the Noble Six!"

"Like the protagonist on Halo: Reach?" Psyche asked.

"Well most of my ideas are video game related. How did you think I got the idea of making a pizza shop?” I asked.

A cutaway shows me finishing the game: Mafia. “I never felt so Italian so in my entire life.” I said. The cutaway ends.

"That’s a sweet name, Flare." Aqua said. "But what's this group about?"

"What if I told you guys, by song?" I asked.

“No.” Psyche said.

“Oh.” I said upsettingly.

“Later though. We’ll sing later.” Blaze said.

“Anyways, our group will be backups for the Mane Six. I know they’re good on their own, but in dire situations like this is what we need to do.” I said.

“I honestly think that’s a great idea!” Psyche said.

“Feels generous, ah like that.” Engie said.

“We must remain loyal to them at all times though.” Blaze said.

“Anything you want is fine by me!” Aqua said.

“I found a paper clip on the floor.” Crystal said.

"Twilight was right, I feel the magic of friendship flowing all around us. This is going to be the beginning of a leet heroic relationship; I can tell!” I said.

"But we never saved Equestria before. We're just regular citizens of Ponyville. We’re not heroes.” Crystal said.

"For now, but sooner or later, we shall rise!" I said. Just then, my phone starts ringing, so I went over to the phone and picked it up. "Hello this is Burger King, may I take your order?"

“Flare Gun, I have the potion all done, so come by with the Mane Six so we can begun.” Zecora said on the phone.

"That's great! Want fries with that?” I teased.

"Come and bring them here, I am alone, but what puzzles me is: when did I start having a phone?” Zecora asked.

“Right away, Z! We’ll be there momentarily! Bye!” I said as I hung up.

“Did Zecora get the potion done?” Aqua asked.

“Of course, why else would she call me?” I asked.

“Looks like these little fillies aren’t going to be fillies for much longer.” Blaze said.

“Why? They becoming colts?” Crystal asked.

“No, they’re becoming full-grown mares again.” Blaze corrected her. So the seven of us carried the Mane Six out of the trailer and went over to Zecora’s hut in Everfree. Once we got there, we placed the Mane Six on the table and Zecora was getting the potion ready.

"A sip of this potion will indeed turn these six ponies back 2 feet.” Zecora said.

“2 feet? Wow, these horses are small. Ah guess that’s why they call them mah little ponies.” Engie said. Zecora places the potion in six different baby bottles and each of the babies drank the bottles, and they immediately turned back into adults… umm, the babies turned back into adults, not the bottles.

"Ugh, wh-what happened?” Twilight asked as she rubbed her head.

"Why do I smell like fish?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"And why do I have the feeling that I'm afraid of clowns?" Flutters asked.

Pinkie sniffs her hoof and smiles. “Mmmm! I smell like toilet water!”

“Does toilet water even have a smell?” AppleJack asked.

“Trust me, they do.” Rarity said.

“Oh good, you six are alright!” Aqua said feeling relieved.

”Of course we’re alright, sugarcube. Why wouldn’t we be?” AppleJack asked.

“Wait, shouldn’t we be at Twilight’s house right now?” Rainbow asked.

“Yeah, what gives?” Pinkie asked.

"It's a long story." Psyche said.

Spike runs up to Rarity and gives her a big hug. "Rarity, I think it's best that you stay adult."

"What are you talking about, Spike?” Rarity asked.

“Rainbow, after all that happened today, I think we’re finally ready.” Blaze said, smiling at her.

“Ready for what? Does anypony know what this fool is saying?” Rainbow asked in a Louisiana accent.

“Allow us to explain.” I said.

Suddenly, Zecora’s doorbell rings. "Can somepony go get the door for me? I’ve been holding in a big one since Summer of ’83.” Zecora said as she runs into her bathroom.

”I didn’t know Zecora had a doorbell, or a bathroom.” Psyche said.

"I'll get it." Twilight said as she walks over to the door, and opens it.

"Are you Twilight Sparkle?" the store manager asked.

"Yes." Twilight said.

The manager gives Twilight a bill and said, "A bill for the damage to my store. You should leave the foalsitting and shopping to somepony other than a dragon."

"SPIKE?!" Twilight yelled angrily. So after a bit of anger from Twilight and after we explained everything of what happened, we all went back to Twilight’s place to continue our slumber party, and we also continued our Dungeons and Dragons game. While it was somepony else’s turn, I decided to write a letter to Princess Luna, it reads:

"Dear Princess Luna, Today I learned a very big lesson about friendship. There are always reasons why your friends are your friends in the first place. It was the will of what went on that brought us together. After the adventures with my friends today, I learned that the group of individuals that you never expect to be close with, would be the ones that will be the most trustworthy, and share your commons the most. So I will-“

"Oh for Wizard of Hope's sake! I ran out of paper! Angry face." I complained.

"It looks like you're writing a letter! Do you require any help?” Clippy asked as he showed up next to me.

“Hey, Twilight, can I speak to you for a sec?” I asked.

“Of course, what’s up Flare?” Twilight asked.

“You taught me a lot over the years, and it looks like your teachings are finally paying off because I got what I really wanted!” I said.

”And what might that be?” Twilight asked.

“A group of ponies that include me in everything. I came to Ponyville to make a group of friends that would always take the time to hang with me, and you know what? I finally got that! Thank you for your help, Twilight! You taught me well!” I said as I laid my hoof on her shoulder.

“Flare Gun, I didn’t teach you anything that you already knew.” Twilight smiled at me and said.

“Well that’s gotta be the most ridiculous, idiotic thing you’ve ever said to me. I didn’t know any of that stuff, why you giving me that ‘I already knew all this’?” I complained.

“But you still need to learn A LOT more.” Twilight said as she gave me a glare. Everypony in the room started laughing, including the baby Owlowiscious whom we forgot to turn back to normal.

But wait, don’t you stop reading, cause this chapter ain’t over yet! Suddenly, we all heard an explosion outside, so we all ran out to check on things. “WHAT THE HAY WAS THAT?!” Engie yelled.

“Dude, you are NEVER having a pet again.” Leonardo said as he walked by with Michelangelo, all burnt up.

“I had it with you, man! You always treat me like a kid!” Michelangelo complained. Ok, now the chapter is over. You can stop reading now. Yes, you did need my permission.

Author's Note

The replacement chapter of Oh Baby. I decided to change the name of the chapter to The Noble Six so we know that this is the first chapter the group gets organized. It's pretty much the same chapter as Oh Baby, but there were alot of changes. Originally, Doctor Whooves created an invention, and it accidently gets shot to Twilight's treehouse, causing the Mane Six to become babies. Since I watch Doctor Who now, and the Doctor obviously does not do that, I changed it to Twilight making a potion that turns out to be a potion that turns the Mane Six into babies, and then Zecora brews something up to fix the problem.

Hail to the Chief, Baby!

"Behold!” I said as my friends and I approached the Canterlot stadium. “The Canterlot International Speedway! Home to the world famous Nashorse earth pony racing program, and today is the day they'll be racing here!" I said.

"Yee haw!" Engie yelled. "Ah just love Nashorse!"

"Who doesn't less then three the Nashorse series?" I asked.

"All it is, is just earth ponies running around over and over and over again. Nothing that interesting in that." Psyche said.

"It's more than that, brah! Have you ever even watched the Nashorse series?” I asked.

"That's not the point. These ponies just run around the same track 200 times." Psyche said. "Turn left, turn left, turn left, turn left, and what's next? Oh right! TURNING LEFT! It's nothing special."

“I’ll tell you what’s nothing special: the stadium bathrooms.” Crystal said. “They’re disgusting, and it always takes a long time for us mares to use it, but the stallions have no problems! We have to wait in line!”

“Trust me, Crystal, I’ve been through much worse.” Psyche said.

A cutaway shows Psyche and I exiting the bathroom at a baseball game, and as we left, I kept on begging, “C’mon, Psyche! Let’s go on again!”

“Flare, we went eight times already!” Psyche said.

“Yep, and I went three times all by myself!” I said.

“You did a good job, Flare, but we have to get back to the game.” Psyche said.

“One more time, please?” I begged.

“I dunno, the line’s too long.” Psyche said.

“I’ll get us a fastpass.” I said as I went over to the fastpass terminal, inserted mine and Psyche’s tickets inside, and got two fastpasses for the restrooms. “Alright, it says we should be able to go back on instantly at 2:30. Let’s go get some ice cream while we wait.” The cutaway ends.

"But, Psyche, the more times that these ponies run around the tracks, the more action goes on!" Engie explained. "And let's not forget about all the crashin’. Nopony gets hurt really because they're wearin’ protection on, and if ya think that one pony is gonna win, maybe he'll crash and somepony else would win. Ya gotta be careful of who yer pickin’, partner.”

"Um... Flare? It's not... gonna be loud is it?" Aqua asked.

"Oh it's gonna be super loud. Probably louder than all the bass at my dad’s stereo shop, and trust me, he’s got a lot of big bass!” I said as I pronounced ‘bass’ as in the fish, not like ‘base’.

“So your dad has a lot of fish?” Crystal asked.

“No, isn’t bass a type of stereo?” I asked.

“That’s ‘base’, Flare.” Psyche corrected me.

“Maybe I shouldn’ve came. I can’t listen to loud stuff, I got sensitive ears. I even have a hard time on an airplane.” Aqua said.

"C’mon, Aqua, it’ll be fuuuuuuun!” Crystal said.

"Well I do like fun, and action, but I was never a big fan of these races. I mainly came because I got nothing better to do.” Aqua said. “It was either this or go to Kohls with Wind Racer, and trust me, this race will finish faster.”

"Here. I came prepared." I said as I took out a pair of ear muffs and gave them to Aqua. "These will lower the noise for you."

“Alright, thanks mate.” Aqua said as he placed the ear muffs over his ears.

"Alright! Let's go find our seats.” Engie said. The five of us started walking inside the stadium and we attempted to find our seats.

“Can’t wait to see Blaze fly by the stadium of the Equestrian National Anthem.” I said.

"What?" Aqua asked.

"Ah hope Pony Stewert will win! He's mah stallion!” Engie said.

"Uh oh." Aqua said.

"What about you, Crystal?” Engie asked.

"I'm pretty much into that colt over there!" Crystal pointed. "He looks pretty awesome!"

"That's Denny Coltlen." Engie said.

"He's cool, right?" Crystal asked.

"Yeah, he's alright.” Engie said.

“What was that?” Aqua asked.

“Well, time for several hours of ponies running around for a quick buck.” Psyche said. “Seems like a lazy job to me."

"It’s not just about that, Psyche. It's about winning the Horseshoe Cup! And this year, Jeff Gorspeed is gonna win it!" I said.

"Nuh uh!" Engie said. "Pony Stewert is gonna win this season!"

"I'm sorry, guys, but... I really have to tell ya something.” Aqua said.

"Yeah, right!" Crystal chuckled. "Denny Coltlen is totally gonna win that race in 20 seconds flat!”

"Why are you referencin’ Rainbow Dash?" Engie asked.

"You can't win a Nashorse race in 20 seconds flat. That's impossibru. Jeff Gorspeed will win!" I said.

“Wait kind of word is ‘impossibru?” Psyche asked.

"Umm, guys?” Aqua asked.

"Impossibru ain't even a word, partner. But Pony will certainly win this. Ah know cause ah call dibs on his winnin’.” Engie said.

“And how can you be so sure of it, Engie?” Psyche asked.

“I have my calculations right here.” Engie said, showing Psyche his notepad with calculations on it.

“Ya know what? Nevermind, it’s not important.” Aqua said.

"We better take our seats." Crystal said as the four of us found our seats and sat down.

"Hmmm…. Somethin’s wrong.” Engie said.

“What do you mean, Engie?” Crystal asked.

“Ah’m not sure.” Engie said as he started wiggling his flank on the chair. “It doesn’t feel right.”

“You sitting on something?” Psyche asked.

“Yeah, he’s sitting on a chair.” I said. Engie got up from his chair and saw sticky melted ice cream on the chair he was sitting on. He looked at his pants and saw lots of colorful sprinkles sticking on them. We all started laughing.

“I tried to warn ya.” Aqua said.

“Hey guys!” Blaze said as he flew down towards us.

“Hey Blaze! What are you doing here? You should be getting ready for your fly by.” I asked.

“I got a bit of butterflies in my tummy right now.” Blaze said.

“Why would you eat butterflies?” I asked.

“I meant I’m nervous.” Blaze corrected me.

“No need to be nervous, man! You did this fly by a million times already!” I said.

“But… this is the first time doing this with my friends watching me.” Blaze said.

“Bro, I saw you doing fly bys before. I watch every Nashorse race.” I said.

“Look, partner, there’s nothin’ to worry about. It’s just one little fly by. What do ya got to lose?” Engie asked.

“Thanks guys! I really appreciate it!” Blaze smiled.

“B-T-W, who you rootin’ for?” I asked.

“I'm thinking of Jimmy Fastson." Blaze said..

"Jimmy Fastson?! Oh now I hope you mess up on your fly-by.” I said.

“Thanks for the enthusiasm, Flare.” Blaze said sarcastically.

“It’s my pleasure, brah!” I said. Blaze flew back up to join his team for the fly-by that they are going to be preforming in a few minutes.

“What’s wrong with Jimmy Faston?” Psyche asked.

"Um, hello? He causes crashes all the time!" Engie said.

"I thought you liked the crashes?" Psyche asked.

"They look cool, that's all, but causing the crashes on purpose is cheatin’!" Engie said.

"I kinda like the sound of Jimmy Fastson! Maybe I should root for him." Crystal said.

"Trust me, Crystal. You're better off rooting for Denny." I said.

"So when does the race start?" Aqua asked.

"Five minutes ah think. Can ya pass me those peanuts, Aqua?” Engie asked.

"Sure, Engie.” Aqua said as he hooves over the peanuts to him.

"I thought you couldn't hear us?” Crystal asked.

"What?" Aqua asked.

"Alright! It's a beautiful day here at Canterlot International Speedway, isn't it Darrell Horsetrip?" one of the announcers asked.

"It sure is Chris Mares!" Darrell, the other announcer said. "And my goodness it's a beautiful day for racing isn't it?"

"You're right, Darrell!" Chris said. "And it looks like our racers are getting their hooves massaged, and energy going, so would they get themselves into the starting line so we can begin.

After a little while went by, Spike joins up with the group. "Hey guys! Sorry I'm late. I had to do some things for Princess Celestia. Did I miss anything?"

"We're just getting started, brah! Up high!" I yelled with my hoof up, and Spike then slaps it. "Down low!" Spike gave me a low-hoof. "Behind!" We turn around with our backs facing one another, and we gave eachother hoof-slaps from behind. "In the middle!" We hoof eachother in between high and low. "Right!" We both turned right and hooved eachother. "Left!" They both turned left and we hooved eachother. "Now one over by the snack bar!" We both ran over to the snack bar and we hooved eachother. “Now one by the restrooms!” We both ran over to the restrooms and hooved there. “Now one by Keith who is eating Chinese food.” We both ran over to Keith who was eating Chinese food and Spike and I hooved there.

“Flaaaaaaaaaaaare!” Keith yelled excitedly with his mouth full of rice.

“KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEITH!” I yelled excitedly. “Also, don’t talk with your mouth full, man.”

“Oh.” Keith said.

“Yeeee.” I nodded. "Now one back at our seats!" We both ran back to our seats and hooved there.

“Alright! Now that I got my legs all stretched out from all that running, I should be able to watch the race without getting any Charlie horses. I still don’t know why they call them that though.” I said.

“I always thought of Charlie Horse as a puppet to Shari Lewis.” Crystal said.

“Oh ah love Shari Lewis! I haven’t seen her show in ages.” Engie said.

“WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME, CHARLIE HORSE?!” Crystal yelled at Engie.

“Fillies and Gentlecolts, please rise as our musical guests Sprocket Doggingsworth and Dream HuK singing the Equestrian National Anthem.” Darrell said.

Right after the two celebrity musicians sung the Equestrian National Anthem, the Wonderbolts (including Blaze) fly by the stadium, and everypony in the crowd cheers for them. “Right, the crowd is cheering for the Wonderbolts. They could care less about our singing.” Sprocket complained.

“Well, it was either singing, or become a parasprite gatherer like my dad.” Dream HuK said as the two trotted off stage.

"Gentlecolts! Start… your… engines!" a referee yelled.

“What engines?!” one of the racers called out.

“It’s a figure of speech! Just get ready!” the referee yelled. Most of the racers were snorting, digging the ground, and eyes glued onto the track, and getting ready for the race to start.

“C’mon, Psyche, choose somepony to win!” I demanded.

"Fine, I’ll choose Clint Hayer. Happy now?” Psyche asked.

“I’m not unhappy.” I said. "GO JEFF!"

"GO PONY!" Engie yelled.

"GO DENNY!" Crystal yelled.

“I have much faith in the racers, but Sebulba is going to win.” Watto said as he flew next to us, pointing to Sebulba whom is inside his pod getting ready to race.

“I’m sorry, Sebulba.” The referee said. “But the pod race isn’t until Tuesday; we’re doing Nashorse right now.”

“Voojoo!” Sebulba said furiously. After Sebulba gets removed from the track, the racers continue to smirk at eachother, and rub their hooves onto the dirt track. As the flagger picks up his green flag, the racers were just about to start sprinting. The flagger waves the green flag, and the racers start running faster than the speed of light bulbs. I dunno, they say lights are fast, I’m not buying it. These ponies look like they’re running 120 miles per hour. Can a pony go that fast? Well, here you have it. It is possible in Equestria!

A few laps went by and everypony was cheering, and there were a few crashes here and there, and some pit stops. Alot more laps went by and everypony was still cheering, and the race was going along smoothly. Spike was getting bored, so I gave him some money to get us snacks from the snack bar. I was really in the mood for a carrot dog. Some racers were aggressive against one another during the race, but hey, that’s how the computation works. Sometimes some of the racers push another racer, mostly because some of the racers partner up. It’s not always you against the world when it comes to racing, you could use all the help you can get. It was the half time, and Jeff Gorspeed was in the lead, along with Jimmy Fastson.

“Ugh, my butt is falling asleep, and I’m gettin’ tired of sittin’ in this sticky stuff, but ah don’t wanna go anywhere. This is too cool, and I wouldn’t even care if ah had to stay here and become obese, and not even go up to go to the bathroom, and just wait until my skin gets stuck on the fabric of my couch!” Engie said.

“Uhh, what are you talking about, Engie?” Psyche asked.

“Ah nothin’. Ah just need to stand up. Ah’m not sure, but ah feel like ah’m sittin’ on a Mexican bean.” Engie said as he stood up and looked down at his chair, and saw a brown bean wearing a sombrero, and playing a guitar and singing La Bamba.

"Lucky you, cause I'm sitting on a black bean." Psyche said as he stood up and there was a black bean under him.

"Wha'? Ya have a problem with me, bucko? Because I'm black?!" the black bean complained.

Over on the track, Jimmy Faston chuckled a little mischievously. "The Horseshoe cup is mine!" He takes out a few banana peels out of his satchel on his back and throws them on the track.

“Good job, Jimmy. I hope nopony saw you.” Jimmy’s crewchief said on his headset.

“I’m sure nopony did.” Jimmy said. It was true, nopony did, except for me though. I didn’t see who dropped them, though I just noticed the peels.

"Oh no! JEFF! RACERS! BANANA PEELS!" I yelled, but nopony can hear me. I saw Jeff Gorspeed getting awfully close to those peels, so I had to improvise, but I had no ideas.

“Bro, do something!” Engie yelled as he started shaking me.

“I can’t do anything with you shaking me!” I said. Engie let go of my shoulders, but I had no ideas. I started getting really angry, so I started grinding my teeth.

“I don’t think that’s good for your teeth, mate.” Aqua said. When I got angry, my horn started to glow, but I didn’t notice.

“BLAST IT!” I yelled as a laser of some sort shot out of my horn and shoots the banana peels right out of the track. It startled the racers, but luckily nopony slipped, and the flagger waved the yellow flag to signal a caution. A pace pony trotted out of the pits and caused the racers to slow down so the track can be cleaned up before the lap restarts.

“Whoa, dude! That was incredible!” Spike said.

“What did I do?” I asked.

“You didn’t notice? You shot a rapid laser out of your horn and shot the banana peels right out of the track.” Psyche said.

“A rapid laser? I don’t have a spell like that.” I said.

“Ya do now. Congratulations, Flare!” Aqua said.

“Wow, a new spell. You know, that was the second time I learned a new spell by getting angry.” I said.

“I’m glad nopony thought that you were a terrorist.” Crystal said.

“Excuse me, sir?” a stadium security guard came up to me and asked. “Using magic spells on the race tracks is a crime violation in order by Nashorse law. I’m afraid you’ll have to come with me.”

“You don’t understand, dude. There were banana peels on the track. One of the racers was cheating, and that magic spell was an accident.” Blaze explained.

“Likely story. Come on, mister.” The security guard ordered me.

“Don’t worry, brahs. I’ll settle this. I brought you all here to see the race. Let me know how it goes when it’s over.” I requested.

“Good luck in there, man. We’ll be here if you need us.” Blaze said. So I went along with the security guard to the security room so we can sort this out. On the track, once the peels have been cleaned up, it was time for a restart, but I could only see the rest of the race on the security monitors.

“No tell me, Mr….” the security guard paused, hinting he needs to know my name.

“What?” I asked.

“I need your name.” the security guard requested.

“My name? Well… umm…” I tried to think of a made-up name to give myself. If I have a criminal record on file by my name, I’ll never hear the end of it, so I looked around the room to find random objects to make a name out of. I first saw a security guard all filled up with donuts in the room. “Full…” I started. I then looked up at the A/C and said, “Air.” And finally, I looked down at the guard’s belt and saw a gun on it. “Gun. Yes, Flare Gun!”

“Flare Gun, huh?” the guard asked.

“Eeyup!” I said happily, but then I lost my smile quickly because I just gave him my real name. “Oh… woops.”

“Now tell me, Mr. Gun. Why did you so happen to shoot magic on the race track while a race was going on? That there is criminal.” The guard asked.

“I know, and I apologize, but I saved the racers from total disaster. I stopped an unfair crash from happening.” I said.

“It’s Nashorse, buckaroo. Crashes happen. It’s all part of the game.” The guard said.

“Did you just call me a half-horse, half-kangaroo?” I asked.

“Are you a terrorist?” the guard asked.

“That’s a stupid question.” I said.

“Answer the question!” the guard yelled close to my face.

“NO! Why would I be a terrorist?” I asked.

“What do you use a ski-mask for?” the guard asked me.

“For skiing?” I asked.

“Ok, so you’re not a terrorist.” The guard said as he leaned away from my face.

“This is ridiculous. One of the racers was cheating! Isn’t that a rule violation as well?” I asked.

“It is, but do you have any information on who so otherwise cheated?” the guard asked.

“I didn’t see who it was, but I have the feeling it was Jimmy Fastson.” I said.

“Jimmy Fastson? He maybe a champion but he’s no cheater.” The guard said as he observed Jimmy on the screen.

“I dunno, brah. There’s something not right about him.” I said.

“Jimmy Fastson is an honest Nashorse racer. He may win a lot, but that’s no reason to call him a cheater.” The guard said.

“Why do you think he wins so much?” I asked.

“Because he’s good?” the guard asked.

“And you think of that to be true?” I asked.

“Of course I do!” the guard said.

“Oh listen to you. Security guards are just so stupid and lazy. You’re just one little level away from a lousy Mall Cop.” I said.

“HEY! We’re nothing like Mall Cops! You take that back!” the guard yelled at me with his nightstick out.

“What you gonna do? Whack me with that balloon?” I asked.

“This isn’t a balloon! It’s a nightstick! It’s a very powerful tool that can beat scumbags like you up!” the guard said.

“Then whack me with it. Go ahead!” I said.

“Ok, you asked for it.” The guard said. He took his nightstick, and was just about to whack me with it. I just sat down and looked at him mischievously. He attempted to whack me on the head, but he stopped before he could hit me. “Ok, you got me, it is a balloon. I got my nightstick privileges taken away because I kept stealing lunches from other guards.”

“So it was YOU that stole my bag of chocolate chip cookies!” the fat security guard that filled up on donuts yelled.

“Oh hush. You could use the weight loss.” The first guard said. Just then we heard a knock on the door. “Come in!” the guard said. It was Jeff Gorspeed.

"J-J-Jeff Gor-gor-gorspeed?!” I shuddered surprisingly.

“Oh snap!” Crystal said surprisingly. “Always Flare gets what he wants, huh?” she then complained.

"So you’re the one with the keen eye, huh?” Jeff asked.

“I’m a big fan of yours! What are you doing here?!” I asked excitedly.

"I owe you one, man! Without your great vision, this race would've been a disaster! I don't know who the one that cheated was, but you saved the race!" Jeff said.

“Of course I did, I’m awesome! Awesome possum!” I said.

“Flatter yourself, kid. What’s your name?” Jeff asked.

"Flare Gun’s the name and having a keen eye is my… umm… what’s that G word again?” I asked.

"Flare Gun, huh? Hmm, well thank you for saving the race. Maybe I’ll call you one day.” Jeff said.

“Here’s my business card. I don’t mean to brag, but I cook a mean pizza. Maybe if… you know… you could use a sponsorship.” I asked as I started to blush as I gave him my business card for my shop.

“I’ll think about it. I’ve been advertising paint for years. I mean paint! What’s so good about paint?!” Jeff asked.

“I know right?!” I asked as we both started to laugh.

“Anyways, Flare. I’ll keep in touch.” Jeff said as he walked out of the security room with my business card.

“Wow! I got to meet my long-loved hero: Jeff Gorspeed! This is amazing! Wait until I tell my friends!” I said excitedly.

“Now hold on a minute, Mr. Gun. You’re not off the hook yet.” The guard said.

“Here’s a Dunkin Donuts gift card.” I said as I showed him the gift card I had with me.

“You’re free to go!” The guard said excitedly as I gave him the card, and he started dancing with glee.

After a while went by, I met with my friends over at the Canterlot Bistro for a late lunch. We were watching some TV while we waited for our food to show up.

“We now return to Kansas visits Bikini Bottom.” The TV announcer said.

On the TV, it showed the band members of Kansas singing to Squidward Tentacles personally, and it goes, “Carry on my Squidward son, there’ll be peace when you are done. Lay your weary head to rest. Don’t you cry no more.”

“Oh pa-lease. I don’t cry over stupid nonsense like accidentally knocking over a wet floor sign.” Squidward said, pointing to a knocked over wet floor sign inside the Krusty Krab, but near the wet floor sign was SpongeBob was crying.

After watching the show, my friends and I were chatting it up, drinking our drinks before our food arrived. "You know I can’t believe Danny Coltlin won the last race. Jeff Gorspeed was in the lead!” I complained.

“It’s a good thing I didn’t choose Jimmy Fastson then. I made the right choice from the start.” Crystal said.

“Yeah, but you still met your favorite racer. Doesn’t that mean something, man?” Blaze asked.

“It means everything, Blaze! I was even able to give him my business card, and maybe he’ll allow me to sponsor one day!” I said excitedly.

“We heard you say that a million times already, Flare.” Psyche said.

“Sorry, I’m just so hyped right now! More hyped than when I found out SpongeBob was in Adventure Time.” I said.

A cutaway the Ice King stealing a princess and taking her back to his lair. “Ahhh! Let go of me!” the princess yelled.

“With pleasure!” the Ice King said as he threw her into his cage. As he slaps the dust off his hands, he turns around and sees me with a gigantic smile. “Uhh, who are you?”

“Holy Wizard of Feelings! It’s SpongeBob!” I yelled excitedly.

“SpongeBob? Who’s SpongeBob?” the Ice King asked.

“You are, silly!” I said.

“Whoa there, buddy, I think you have the wrong guy. I’m the Ice King. No sponges here. Only princesses.” The Ice King said.

“You have to be SpongeBob! This guy already said he wasn’t.” I said as I took the Mayor of Townsville out of my satchel.

“Can you help me open this pickle jar?” the mayor asked.

“I think I may be able to help you.” Slinkman offered.

“SLINKMAN! Where’s my pickle jar?!” Scoutmaster Lumpas yelled from the distance.

“Ooooh, no wonder. These pickles are bread and buttered, and I normally eat half-sour.” The mayor said.

“By the way, I’m not a princess.” The princess said from the cage, as she unmasks herself and turns out to be Rabbit from Winnie the Pooh.

“I am so confused right now.” The Ice King said.

“You wanna see something even more confusing?” I asked the Ice King as I unmasked myself into SpongeBob and laughed his famous laugh. The Ice King then faints on Eduardo from Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends.

“He seems out cold. Get it? ‘Out cold’?” the mayor teased.

“He does seem cold. We better put him by the fire that Spyro made.” Slinkman suggested. I hope you see the joke I made here. The cutaway ends.

“Excuse me? Mr. Gun?” Jeff Gorspeed asked as he tapped on my shoulder. I turned around and I gasped.

“Jeff Gorspeed?! Again?!” I panicked. “Wow, what are the odds?!”

“Good to see ya! I need to talk to you for a minute.” Jeff requested.

“Sure, Jeff! Whatever you want!” I said.

“Who are your friends?” Jeff asked.

“Oh this is Crystal, Engie, Aqua, Blaze, and that’s purple guy over there.” I said. Psyche sighs and rolls his eyes; ooo rhyme!

“Nice to meet you all! Listen, Flare, I have a proposition for ya.” Jeff said.

“Ah hope yer not makin’ him do anythin’ illegal.” Engie said suspiciously towards Jeff.

“No! Why would you think that?” Jeff asked.

“Last time somepony said they had a proposition for me, well, let’s just say ah was lucky that ah can respawn after mah death.” Engie said.

“Ooooook.” Jeff said awkwardly. “Anyways, you see... I don't have a crew chief anymore. He quit during the Baltimare race and I’m looking for a new crew chief. Somepony with a keen eye, and quick reflexes, and I believe you’re the pony that can do it!”

“Jeff, what are you… what are you saying?” I asked.

"Flare Gun, how would you like to be my crew chief?" Jeff asked.

I was shocked, so shocked my eye pupils crew big in excitement, and then I smiled real big and I said really fast, "HOLY-WIZARD-OF-HOPE! HOLY-WIZARD-OF-HOPE! HOLY-WIZARD-OF-HOPE! HOLY-WIZARD-OF-HOPE! HOLY-WIZARD-OF-HOOOPE!”

"Sooooo.... will you do it?" Jeff asked.

I was squeezing, but suddenly I took my serious face on and took out my phone. “I dunno, let me take a look at my schedu- YES!” I yelled.

“You hardly even looked at your schedule.” Crystal pointed out.

“Then it’s done!” Jeff said.

"Wow, Flare! You're gonna be Jeff's crew chief! That sounds exciting!” Aqua said.

“I know, it’s like a… it’s a like dream come true! I feel like I’m at Disneyland!” I said.

"So, pack your things, buddy. We're moving out tomorrow!" Jeff said.

"Pack my things?" I asked.

"We're going out in the open road! We're traveling all around Equestria for racing! And with your help, we'll win the horseshoe cup for sure!" Jeff said.

"But… how about my friends?” I asked.

"Sorry, buddy, but unless they have experience in this field, I’m afraid they cannot come with us.” Jeff said.

“Whaaaaaaaaaat?!” Engie asked shockingly in a high pitched voice.

“Hey, I know this is a bad time right now, but I could use a refill on my lemonade.” Crystal said as she tapped on her glass. “Bone dry.”

“Wow… this is… this is a very tough decision to make.” I said.

“The job is 25,000 bits per race.” Jeff said.

“25,000 BITS?!” I yelled.

“I’ll wait for you tomorrow to make your decision. You’re going big places Flare Gun, very big places.” Jeff said as he walked out of the bistro.

"Wow, Flare! You’re gonna be Jeff Gorspeed’s crew chief! I’m so proud of you man!” Blaze said.

“He’s right, ya are gonna go big places!” Aqua said.

“It’s a dream come true, isn’t it?” Psyche asked.

“Yeah… yeah, it is.” I said as I looked down at the table upsettingly.

“Are you alright, man?” Blaze asked.

“I’m fine.” I said.

“Something’s up. What are you thinking about?” Psyche asked.

“You sure I should really go through with this?” I asked.

“You must, man!” Blaze said.

“Yeah, this is a very big opportunity for ya! Not to mention, big bucks!” Engie said.

“Well, since we’re horses, I’m a little worried about what ‘big bucks’ might mean.” Crystal said.

“It’s completely up to ya, mate. One way or another, ya have our support.” Aqua said.

“But if I go… what will come of you dudes?” I asked.

“We’ll be fine, man! Isn’t it your dream to travel alongside Jeff Gorspeed?” Blaze asked.

“I-D-K.” I said.

“C’mon, Flare! Do it! It’ll really help out your financial problems!” Crystal said.

“Well… since you all really think I should do it… I’m in then!” I said happily.

“It’s settled then! Wow, this is going to be an awesome opportunity for you! Probably a better opportunity than when I was a violinist.” Blaze said. A cutaway shows Blaze with a tuxedo and a violin, walking to a lovely couple inside a restaurant, sitting at a table. Blaze places his cue on the violin, about to play a song, but he leans over towards the stallion and starts playing the violin really loudly and fast, repeatedly saying, “Gimmie money, gimmie money, gimmie money, gimmie money.”, and the lovely couple got freaked out. The cutaway ends.

The next day, back at Ponyville, I was chatting it up with Pinkie while packing my trailer. “Pinkie Pie, I’m trusting you to look after things for me.” I said to her.

“Don’t worry, Flare! I won’t let you down! I’ll look after this pile of junk like it was my own child!” Pinkie said.

“Hey! That’s not a pile of junk! They’re antiques!” I corrected her.

“Oooo, I better not touch them then. Museum as so many unique items and they always tell me not to touch them. I dunno what’s the big deal though. Touching them won’t harm them.” Pinkie said.

“You drew a mustache on the Mona-Lisa.” Rainbow Dash reminded her.

“Well, duh! It stops her face from getting cold! Hellooooo!” Pinkie said. “I swear, Dashie, I really don’t understand you sometimes.”

“Also, here’s the key to my shop. Take good care of my baby while I’m gone.” I requested as I gave Pinkie my key.

“So if the shop is your baby, who’s your wife?” Pinkie asked.

“It was adopted.” I said.

“Ahhh!” Pinkie nodded.

“There ya go, partner. Ah upgraded the security system in yer trailer. You’re goin’ to strange places, so you’ll need those extra precautionary measures.” Engie said.

“Thanks, Engie, but you made sure the security system doesn’t detect me as a threat, right?” I asked

Engie raspberried and said, “Of course not! Why would it?”

“You sure you all wouldn’t wanna come with me?” I asked.

“Sorry, Flare, but we have our own jobs ‘round here we need to look after.” Aqua said. “I hope ya can understand that.”

“No worries, Aqua. I’ll be expecting your visit at the race track soon though.” I said.

“Of course you will, Flare! I mean, it’s not like we’re gonna not be friends anymore because you decided to leave us and move on.” Spike said. Everypony glares at Spike, and Pinkie gasps.

“You’re not gonna do that are you, Flare?!” Pinkie asked frighteningly as she grabbed my shoulders and shook me.

“No.” I said.

“ARE YOU?!” Pinkie yelled as she shook me harder.

“NO! I won’t leave you! I don’t even know how long I’ll be his crew chief though.” I said.

“What do you mean by that?” Psyche asked.

“Who knows if I’ll even do a good job as one.” I said.

“Of course you’ll do a good job! You’ll do a great job!” Crystal said.

“You better do a great job!” Psyche demanded.

“I’m gonna miss you all so much. Even you Blaze. I didn’t know you long, but I thought of you like a brother.” I said as I gave him a hug.

“Bro, it’s ok. You’ll see me at every race. I fly by during the national anthem, remember?” Blaze asked.

“Lawl remember, Flare?” Spike asked.

“HEY! That’s my thing! Don’t steal my thing!” I yelled at Spike. “Remember, it’s my thing? Lawl remember Spike?”

“Actually, it was Master Chief’s thing first.” Psyche corrected me.

“Oh like you even know what I’m talking about.” I rolled my eyes at him.

“I watch it too, you know.” Psyche said.

"Alright, Flare!" Jeff said as he walked towards me. "You ready to go?"

“I dunno, brah.” I said upsettingly.

“C’mon, I don’t have all day. You signed a contract. It’s time to go.” Jeff said as he showed me the contract I signed.

“I hope you read the whole contract carefully.” Psyche said.

“Even the fine print. Trust me, I make contracts too. You signed my Friendship Agreement.” I said. Psyche nodded while making an awkward look. “Just to let you all know, the six of you are my dearest closest friends, and one treasured acquaintance, and I’ll never forget that.” I smiled at them. My friends all smiled at me back, but then they all looked at eachother awkwardly.

“Well anyways, good luck out there, Flare!” Crystal said. “Ooo, rhyme!”

“Stay safe, and keep in touch.” Aqua said.

“I will, don’t worry!” I said. As I turned around, I saw somepony using some sort of crane to pick up my trailer and place it on a semi carriage truck. “What gives?”

“My crew chief doesn’t deserve to carry that smelly old trailer on his back as we travel. All you need to do is relax, and practice your vision.” Jeff said.

“My trailer is NOT junk, despite the fact I got it from a junkyard, and why?” I asked.

“You’re my crew chief now, Flare Gun! You can have whatever you want!” Jeff said.

“Whatever I want, huh?” I asked as I nodded with a mischievous smile. “I want my friends to come with us.”

“Nice try. Now come on, there’s no time to lose.” Jeff said as he hoped inside his trailer. I looked back at my friends before I went.

“Go on, Flare.” Aqua said.

“Live your dream.” Crystal said. I didn’t say a thing; all I did was just walk inside my trailer, and looked out my back window. The semi started to move out. Tears fell out of my eyes as I watched my friends watching the semis depart.

“Alright, get it together, Flare! You’re the man now! This is your dream! Live the Equestrian dream! They wouldn’t want me to miss them! I’m gonna be the best crew chief the world has ever known!” I shouted. I opened the window and stuck my head out and yelled, “You hear me world?! I am gonna be the best crew chief, YOU ALL HAVE EVER KNOOOOOOOW- Ack!” As I was shouting, a fly flew in my mouth and I started to choke. “Fly in my mouth! Fly in my mouth!”

Back with my friends, before they all left to go home, Spike asked, “I wonder which of us are the friends and which one is the acquaintance?”

“I think its best we don’t know.” Aqua said.

A few days went by and I was watching Jeff Gorspeed practice running around the track for his next race. While I just sat and watched, Jeff stopped by next to me to catch his breath.

“Woo! That was a nice run, huh Flare Gun?” Jeff asked.

“Nice rhyme!” I said.

“Thanks! So what are you up to?” Jeff asked.

“Skyping Crystal.” I said.

“Skying who?” Jeff asked.

“Crystal Iceblast. One of my friends.” I said.

“You know, Flare, you’re my crew chief now, don’t you know that?” Jeff asked.

“Uhh, no I didn’t. I just so happen to be here to put eye drops in your eyes.” I said sarcastically.

Jeff started to laugh. “Eye drops! Yeah, you’re a card, Flare.”

“A Visa Debit?” I asked.

“You’re a crack up, Flare! Come! I hired some ponies to give you a nice soothing massage.” Jeff said.

“A massage does sound nice, but you don’t have to do that.” I said.

“I expect the best for my crew chief!” Jeff said as he guided me towards my trailer.

“Alright, alright. I can walk myself you know.” I said.

“When you’re my crew chief, who needs walking?” Jeff asked.

“What’s the catch here, Jeff?” I asked.

“No catch, just relaxation for you until Sunday, ‘cause that’s when you get to work!” Jeff said.

“Alright! You know, I’ve always wanted to go inside your trailer and see what’s inside.” I said as I walked towards his trailer, but Jeff runs in front of the door and blocks it.

“Whoa, buddy. No need to be so hasty now. I enjoy my privacy as much as the next fella. This trailer is off limits.” Jeff said.

“But you said I can have whatever I want.” I said.

“And you will! Look, it’s all messy in there anyway. It won’t fit the both of us inside, soooo, how about you go inside your trailer, have yourself a nice massage from these lovely ladies over here, and just watch a little bit of Jurassic Park while you’re in there.” Jeff suggested. I looked over at my trailer and saw lovely looking mares near my door, one is dressed like Samus Aran and the other is dressed like Cortana from Halo.

“How did you know I’m a nerd?” I asked.

“One researches his crew chiefs before taking them to the field.” Jeff said.

“Wow! I never thought being a crew chief would be this amazing!” I said.

“And this is only the beginning!” Jeff said.

“You know, at first I didn’t know Samus was female.” I said.

“Eeyup. Samus is female.” Jeff said.

“I think I can get used to this!” I said.

I turned on ELO by Mr. Blue Sky on my Ipod, and I relaxed inside my trailer, getting massages from these lovely mares while watching Jurassic Park. While I was at it, I took some pictures of the mares massaging me and sent it to my friends. Some called me lucky, some were jealous, and one of them was shocked because they didn’t know Samus was female. Sunday came, and it was my first race with Jeff Gorspeed. I placed a headset over my head, and through it, I told Jeff everything of what was going on in the track, and letting Jeff know when’s the best time to go to the pits to get refueled and massage his hooves before heading out to the track again. I told the pit crew whatever they need to do to get Jeff up and running again, so I asked Jeff to hire some Italian ponies to become his pit crew, because if they know how to cook, they know how to get a pit stop done.

I had a keen eye for the track. I knew these race tracks by heart, and I knew all the racer’s tricks, so I told Jeff everything he needed to know to win. I did a fantastic job as a crew chief, because I helped him win the race, and two other races after that! I couldn’t help him win every race, but hey, you can’t always win, can you? Throughout the weeks I’ve been Jeff’s crew chief, I’ve been feeling more and more relaxed than ever, and having the time of my life. I didn’t take any pictures to show my friends anymore, and when I went on Skype, I only talked to each of them for like… 3 minutes because Jeff keeps hosting these awesome parties, cider, mares, and tons and tons of video games! More races came and I’m starting to get the hang of this crew chief thing! I could even eat 5 bit foot longs while guiding Jeff and his crew. I even caught Jimmy Faston cheating a few times, and I saved Jeff from crashing. This is certainly the life! I wish it would never end! I certainly am the best crew chief Jeff Gorspeed ever had. He said so, so don’t take my word for it.

Several weeks went by and over at my shop, Pinkie was carrying several plates at once to a table. I did what she’s doing once. Somepony tripped me, and I spilled the food all over a group of ponies on a table, and then I graded cheese all over the pastas that were dripping off their heads, but Pinkie seems more experienced in that than I am, she didn't trip once. Meanwhile, my friends were sitting at a table and Crystal kept looking at her phone while Engie held his hooves on his head with his eyes closed.

“Play… play… play...” Engie said to his Ipad that’s sitting on the table. “Play… play…”

“What are ya doing?” Aqua asked.

“Tryin’ to use a jedi mind-trick to confuse Princess Luna.” Engie said. “Play… play… play…” Engie looked at his pad, and angrily said, “Shoot! She might be wearin’ a tinfoil hat.”

“I miss Flare.” Blaze said.

“Why do you miss him? You see him at every race.” Psyche reminded him.

“Not anymore. I was requested not to perform at anymore Nashorse races.” Blaze said.

“Who requested it?” Aqua asked.

“Spitfire said it was Nashorse Campaign Director. I dunno why they didn’t want me out of all Wonderbolts not to perform.” Blaze said.

“Does your sorrow affect me at any way?” Engie asked.

“I dunno.” Blaze said.

“Then suffer in silence.” Engie said as he continued to use his mind-trick on Luna. “Play! Play! Play! Play! Play!”

“What are you even doing?” Blaze asked.

“Ah’m playin’ Words With Friends with Luna on mah pad, but she hasn’t made a move for three whole hours. She might be up to somethin’.” Engie said.

“Crystal, why do ya keep staring at your phone?” Aqua asked.

“I’m waiting for Flare to respond.” Crystal said.

“Ah know she’s up to somethin’! Ah can feel it!” Engie said.

“Crystal, Flare hasn’t been talking to us for weeks. What makes you think he’ll respond now?” Psyche asked.

“He will respond! He would never forget about us!” Crystal said.

“Crystal’s right, Psyche. He wouldn’t just abandon us like this. He was desperate for friends, and the most desperate ponies would never abandon their friends.” Blaze said.

“Flare’s obviously too busy to worry about us. We should just face the fact that he’s moved on, and so should we.” Psyche said.

“Wow… I never thought he would do this.” Aqua said.

“He didn’t do anything, c’mon guys!” Blaze said.

“He would NEVER abandon us! C’mon, Flare, respond!” Crystal demanded.

“Play! Play! Play! Play!” Engie continued.

“Good idea, Engie.” Crystal placed her hooves on her head and closed her eyes, and did the same thing Engie was doing. “Respond! Respond! Respond! Respond! Respond!”

“Will you both shut up?!” Blaze yelled.

“Did it work, Crystal?” Engie asked.

“Not yet.” Crystal said. “Respond! Respond! Respond! Did you get anything yet, Engie?”

“Just dust and echoes. Halo reference for the win.” Engie said.

“Blaze, I’m worried! He didn’t abandon us… did he?” Crystal asked with tears in her eyes.

“Of course not, Crystal. In fact, let’s prove it! We’re going to Flare’s next race!” Blaze said.

“Why bother? He’s not gonna wanna see us.” Psyche said.

“Besides, what if the tickets to the race are already sold out?” Aqua asked.

“I’m sure there’s a radio host that’s giving away tickets.” Blaze said.

“How would ya know that?” Aqua asked.

“Radio hosts always give away tickets. I once almost won Justin Bieber tickets.” Blaze said.

A cutaway shows Blaze listening to the radio at his house. “Alright, today we’re giving away free Justin Bieber tickets! You may be a winner if you’re caller number 5! Don’t delay! Call now!” the radio host said.

“OH MY GOSH! Justin Bieber tickets!” Blaze said excitedly as he picked up the phone and dialed the number.

“Congratulations! You’re caller number 4!” the radio host said.

“WHAT?! That close?!” Blaze yelled.

“Congratulations! You’re caller number 5! You get to see Justin Bieber!” the radio host said.

“YES! Oh yeah! That boy is mine! Never say never! Woo hoo! Yee hee!” Michael Jackson yelled excitedly on the radio. The cutaway ends.

“You like Justin Bieber?” Psyche asked.

“NO! Of course not! Those tickets were for my niece!” Blaze said.

“Yeah, that’s what they all say.” Psyche said.

“IT’S TRUE, DANG IT!” Blaze yelled.

Meanwhile, back inside my trailer at the race track, it was just two days until the last race of the season. If Jeff wins this race, he wins the whole thing. “Yeah! Woo! Just one more race guys! Then Jeff will win the whole thing!” I said as I kinda foreshadowed that sentence. “I am sure getting paid a lot too! I am really getting rich brahs! Not that I wasn’t already rich, well not rich, more average. I am so proud of Jeff! Yet, I feel like something’s missing. I feel that there’s an empty space somewhere inside of me. I-D-K what it is though. I mean for Wizard of Hope’s sake, I have everything I need! The money, the fame, the mares! I should be happy face. I don’t get it. What am I missing?”

“His Listerine. I haven’t seen him do mouth wash in ages. I’m starting to worry for him.” my fish Rainbow said.

“What am I missing? Fishies, do you know of anything?” I asked them. Yoyo shows me a picture of fish food, then Dorthey slapped Yoyo in the back, then Dorthey showed a picture of a heart. “Paper vaporizes in water, Dorthey.” I said to her.

“Told you he would notice.” Yoyo said.

“Oh pipe down, you didn’t tell me squash!” Dorthey said.

“Doncha mean ‘squat’?” Piddles corrected her.

“I’m a fish, I don’t squat.” Dorthey reminded him.

“I mean I got all this money and fame now, but nopony to share it with, somepony I’d call a….. friend.” I said as I started to feel my lips twitch. “Now who were those six beloved friends of mine and one treasured acquaintance that I used to hang with all the time?” I looked over at a picture of frame on my wall that showed a picture of me, Blaze, Crystal, Engie, Psyche, Aqua, and Spike all gathered and smiling. “Oh… right… them… wow, I… I don’t know why, but I’m starting to get all teary eyed.” Tears fell out of my eyes as I looked at the picture of my friends and acquaintance. “Oh, right, this picture is dusty, no wonder I’m getting teary eyed; allergies.” I said as I sprayed Windex on the picture and wiped it off with a paper towel. “There we go! I’m not longer teary eyed from allergies. I knew something was missing! My sunglasses!” I took a pair of sunglasses from my dresser and placed them over my eyes as I looked at myself through the mirror, smiling and nodding my head. “Looking good, Flare! Looking real good! Time to win this race!” So I marched back outside to prepare Jeff’s pit crew team for the final race of the season.

“He didn’t yell ‘YEEEAAAAAAH’ after he put on those sunglasses.” Darrel pointed out.

“Good. I had it with all the shouting from last night’s party.” Piddles complained.

"YEEEEEEEAAAAH!" Pearl cried out, wearing sunglasses and a hula necklace. "Sorry, couldn't resist!"

When I got outside to prepare Jeff’s crew chief, I had a small chat with one of them because I thought, why not? “So, Jeff fired his entire crew team for some Harlem youngsters, huh?” I asked.

“Ever since Princess Luna came back, Jeff has been taking that advantage.” He said.

“I’m not sure if that makes much sense.” I said.

“Hey, Flare! Long time no see, mate! How ya doin’?” Aqua asked as he, Psyche, Blaze, Engie, Crystal, and Spike showed up to see me.

“Oh sup brahs?” I asked.

“Not much, we decided to come and see ya.” Aqua said.

“Wow, interesting. It would seem the acquaintance was the first one to greet me.” I pointed out.

“Ooooooh, so it’s Aqua that’s the acquaintance!” Spike figured out and nodded slowly. Aqua just stood there emotionless.

“It’s good to see you, Flare! We missed you so much!” Blaze said.

“That’s cool.” I nodded. “You’re Soarin right?”

“Soarin? NO! It’s me, Blaze!” Blaze corrected me.

“BLAZE!” I yelled. “I set it first!”

“Flare, are ya feelin’ alright?” Engie asked.

“Never better, Pyro! Never better!” I said.

“Pyro?” Engie asked.

“Living the crew chieftain life is a bomb! BOOM! I have never felt so happy in my entire life! This is exactly what I was looking for!” I said.

“THIS is exactly what you were looking for?” Psyche asked.

“Yes! I moved out of Mareami to live the good life, away from the haters, and here it is!” I said.

“Flare, you’re forgetting the main reason why you left Mareami in the first place.” Blaze said.

“I just said though, to be a crew chief!” I said. “Now you six should come into my trailer with me. Jeff hired this magician to do some magic tricks for me to test out my keen eye skills by seeing if the magician is the real deal and no funny business.” I said.

“Flare, don’t you find any of this kinda suspicious?” Psyche asked.

“What in ever do you mean, brah?” I asked.

“Do crew chief’s actually get this much paradise? I mean, I know the racer hires the pit crew, but do they normally give them this amount of hospitality?” Psyche asked.

“Bro, let me clarify something to you: Jeff Gorspeed is not like any other racers. He’s kind, he’s honest, he’s generous. He’s the entire Mane Six put together, except for Twilight, he doesn’t do magic. I handle the magic! Praise the Wizards!” I yelled as I shot a laser out of my horn that matched the laser blast spell that I did earlier to save the racers from the banana peels, but with that laser, I accidentally shot a pigeon. “Oops. Can somepony clean that up?”

“FLARE!” Crystal yelled.

“What?” I asked.

“This isn’t like you at all! What has happened to you?!” Crystal shouted in my face as she began to shake me.

“Shake me again, and I’ll call security.” I threatened them. “I don’t like it when ponies get their dirty hooves all over my jacket.” Oh that reminds me, I forgot to mention, I've been wearing a jacket this entire time with Jeff’s number on it, and sponsor.

“Dirty hooves?! I so happened to wash my hooves right before I came here to see you.” Crystal informed me.

“What did you use to dry them?” I asked.

“A blow dryer.” Crystal said.

“You know much germs a blow dryer has? Might as well have a hobo sneeze your hooves dry.” I said. “I got some hoof sanitizer. Want some?” I asked as I took out a hoof sanitizer out of my jacket pocket.

“Sure!” Crystal said as she was reaching out for the sanitizer, but I moved it away from her quickly.

“Not this one! This one is mine! Go talk to Ricky, he might have one.” I said.

“Who’s Ricky?” Spike asked.

“One of Jeff’s Harlem pit crews; look, I am VERY busy right now. I normally don’t let ponies personally come and see me, but since you’re my friends, I given you an exception of five minutes. So if you want to go bother somepony, go bother Jimmy Faston’s pit crew. Maybe throw some tomatoes at them, and maybe Jimmy would think twice before cheating in every race.” I said.

“Sure, but Flare, can ya come here for a second?” Engie asked.

“Why?” I asked.

“Just come here, I wanna show you something cool.” Engie said.

“Ok.” I said as I walked over to him. Engie grabs my jacket, and slaps me in the face real hard. “OW!” I yelled.

“SNAP OUT OF IT, FLARE!” Engie yelled.

“THAT WAS NOT COOL AT ALL! Why did you lie to me, brah?!” I yelled.

“WHAT’S MAH NAME?!” Engie yelled.

“Helmet guy?” I guessed.

“CLOSE ENOUGH!” Engie yelled as he released me.

“Don’t ever do that again!” I yelled.

“It’s for your own good, man.” Blaze said.

“You think violence is the way to solve problems?” I asked.

“I never agreed, that’s for sure.” Aqua said.

“Flare, don’t you remember me? It’s Spike, your first close friend from Ponyville. We play games together, and you keep reminding Twilight to bring me along in her adventures. Recognize me, man!” Spike begged.

“I’m sure you can get her to get you to come along in her adventures yourself, but right now, I have to get ready. It’s almost the final race of the season, and I don’t want any distractions.” I said.

“And are you coming back to Ponyville right after?” Psyche asked.

“Heavens no! We’re gonna be going to Las Haygus after that for the award ceremony! Then after that, it’s party over here, y’all!” I said in a high pitched voice.

“So… you’re never coming back?” Spike asked.

“Do I have a reason to? That place was just slowing me down. Being a pizza chef, making only a few bits per week. It gets tiring after a while.” I said.

“Hundreds of bits per week?! How can you get tired of that?!” Crystal yelled.

“I’m making THOUSANDS of bits per week now! I’m a sensation! I don’t need all that! Everything I could ever want is right here: in the Nashorse series! With my help, Jeff Gorspeed is gonna win the horseshoe cup, and everything will be perfect.” I said.

“The only thing that’s missing is your friends, Flare.” Blaze said.

I chuckled. “Friends, Flare. That sounds pretty funny. Mostly because they both start with F.”

“FLARE! Are you even listening to me?!” Blaze yelled.

“I read you loud and clear, ‘friend’, but I have a lot to do right now, so please leave before I call for security.” I said.

“But… Flare!” Blaze said.

“Forget it, Blaze. He’s no longer a friend to us. This is his dream now, and we cannot get in the way of it.” Spike said.

“That’s a good dragon! Here, have some Smarties, it’ll help you do well in school.” I said as I reached into my pocket and threw a package of Smarties to Spike.

“Cool, free candy!” Spike said excitedly.

“Remember back in Mareami, when you were nopony?” Blaze asked.

“That was all the past, brah. I’m a somepony now!” I said.

“No you aren’t. You were a somepony when you were our friend.” Blaze said. “You were somepony when you ran that pizza shop. You were a somepony when you made a ton of mistakes, and learned from them. You were a somepony when you helped out when everypony was upset. You were a somepony when you accidentally dropped that salt shaker on the floor, and you licked it all clean. You were a somepony when-“

“Alright, I think we get it, Blaze.” Aqua interrupted him.

“What I’m saying is: you used to be a somepony, but now you went back to being a nopony. If you don’t want to come back with us, fine. We don’t want you!” Blaze said angrily.

“Oh boo hoo. I’m crying over here. Can you get lost now? I’m still trying to find out how this magician guessed my card.” I said.

“It’s magic.” The magician said.

“No, no, no. You’re no unicorn. That’s not magic.” I corrected him.

“It is magic.” The magician argued with me.

“Yeah and butterflies used to be caterpillars.” I teased as I laughed sarcastically.

“Butterflies were caterpillars.” The magician corrected me.

“They were? Nah, no they weren’t.” I said.

“They were.” The magician said.

“Really? Wow. Sounds a little OP doesn’t it?” I asked.

“Wow, learn something new every day, huh?” Crystal asked.

“Let’s go, guys!” Blaze said angrily as him and my friends all walked away.

“It’s too bad, Flare. They seemed to be nice guys.” Jeff said.

“Meh, who needs friends when I got fame, fortune, and all the five bit foot longs I can eat?” I asked.

Jeff chuckled. “Yeah, I hear ya, man.”

“So why don’t we party it up in your trailer?” I asked.

“No! Nopony goes inside my trailer!” Jeff yelled.

“Not even you?” I asked.

“Besides me.” Jeff said.

“So everypony except you can go into your trailer?” I asked.

“NO! Nopony is allowed inside except me!” Jeff yelled.

“Jeez, why are you so antsy? You’re normally a calm dude.” I said.

“I’m calm, I’m calm. Don’t worry about me, Flare. I’m all calm.” Jeff said.

“Alright good. Now go back to practicing. The race is going to start very soon.” I said.

“Right, and I gotta get prepared.” Jeff said.

“I’ll see ya at the track then.” I said.

“See ya at the track!” Jeff said as he ran off.

After he left, I gave in a big inhale through my nose, and exhaled out of my mouth, and I said, “Ahh, the sweet smell of the Horseshoe Cup season finale! I can hardly wait! I better get some green jell-o from the snack stand before the race starts. I have no idea why others find green jell-o disgusting. It’s delicious!” Just before I went to get some, I saw a pony-like shadow coming from the window of Jeff’s trailer. “Hey! I thought Jeff said nopony was allowed in there? I better get in there and warn that pony before Jeff comes back.” I walked over to Jeff’s trailer, and I made sure there were no alarms. His trailer was unlocked, so I opened it, and then an alarm started going off in the background, but it wasn’t an alarm really, it was me making an alarm sound effect because I thought I’d want to amuse myself as I snuck inside.

When I got in, I looked around the trailer, and something didn’t feel right. Jeff’s trailer was full of some type of goo; a familiar looking goo in that respect. “Wow, what has Jeff been eating?” I asked myself. “This the strangest looking goo I’ve ever seen in my entire life. Come to think of it, have I seen this goo before?” I took the goo and observed it, felt it, sniffed it, even took a taste of it; it was gross, so I added salt before tasting it again, and it tasted much better. “Yum! I should use this stuff as an ingredient for my pasta dishes.” I said to myself. I took a couple of jars from the shelf, and filled them with the strange goo. I had no idea if it had side-effects though. Wait a minute, why am I gathering this stuff again? I thought I wasn’t going back to Ponyville? Well, I do like to cook as a hobby, so I can make some at home.

After I gathered some of the goo, I heard a strange moaning sound coming from the other room. I had to guess it was the pony shadow I saw before I entered here. I opened one of the doors that led to the bedroom. It was dark in there, and there was more goo in there than the other room. “Wow, Jeff, you gotta clean this place up!”

“Tell me something I don’t know.” A voice said.

“Who’s there?” I asked.

“You gotta help me, man! She took me hostage!” the voice said.

“Who?” I asked. “Wait, why does your voice sound familiar? Why is it so dark in here?” I shot a flare from my horn inside the trailer to light the place, and on the bed, I saw somepony, somepony I’d either never thought to expect, or is the most expecting. It was Jeff Gorspeed, tied onto the bed by the goo. “Jeff Gorspeed?!” I gasped. “I’m sorry, Jeff! I didn’t mean to enter your trailer! I know you told me not to, but I saw somepony inside, and I didn’t know it was you!”

“I did?” Jeff asked.

“You just did before you went to go practice.” I said. “Wait a minute, you went to practice. I didn’t see you go into your trailer and tie yourself up. What the Wizard of Hope is going on here?”

“We don’t have much time to sit around and talk, so I’ll have to make this long story short. That Jeff Gorspeed you were with is an impostor.” Jeff said.

“An impostor?” I asked.

“Yes.” Jeff said.

”Why would somepony take over as you? It’s obviously not ruining your career. Are they in for the money? The fame? Who would want to impose as you, and why?” I asked.

“The impostor is not after me, they’re after somepony called… Flare Gun.” Jeff corrected me.

“Flare Gun, huh? Wow, I do feel sorry for that poor fella.” I said.

“Yeah, well, I’ll need your help in getting me out of here. What’s your name?” Jeff asked.

“I’m your new crew chief: Flare Gun!” I said.

“Wait… you’re Flare Gun?” Jeff asked.

“Yes I am!” I said happily, but my smile went away quickly. “Wait a minute! I’m Flare Gun! The impostor is after me! But… why? What did I do?”

“I’m not sure, they didn’t say why, but we have to get outta here in order to catch them, and figure out why.” Jeff said.

“Or we can just let them win the race for you so you don’t have to.” I suggested.

“Flare Gun, there’s more to racing than just racing.” Jeff said.

“That doesn’t make a hickidy doo da of sense.” I said, and then I started to sing, “Hickidy doo da, hickidy day, my oh my what a phebeful day.”

“Phebeful?” Jeff asked.

“Making up words is fun.” I said.

“Right. So can you get me outta here so we can stop that imposter?” Jeff asked.

“Just a quick question: how do I know if YOU’RE not the imposter?” I asked.

”You don’t. But would you wanna take that risk?” Jeff asked.

“Wow, no imposter ever says anything like that. Alright, lemme ungoo you.” I said as I walked over to Jeff’s hooves so I can release him from his imprisonment, but before I was able to do that, I saw another Jeff standing behind me. “AAAH!” I yelled. “Doncha ever make noise when you enter a room?!”

“Never really thought of that, I just enter.” The imposter Jeff said.

“I hope I don’t end up with a gun, and then you two would stand next to eachother, and the both of you would say that you’re the real Jeff Gorspeed, and shoot the other one.” I said.

“I am the real Jeff Gorspeed, shoot that one!” the imposter Jeff yelled as he pointed to the Jeff who was still tied up on the bed.

“Alright this is ridiculous. Who are you? And what do you want with me?” I asked.

“Well, since the plan was half a success now, I suppose this should be the appropriate time to reveal everything.” The imposter Jeff said. The impostor Jeff started glowing green, with flames surrounding him, and he started to change form. Once the procedure was complete, it was revealed to be Queen Chrysalis of the Changelings.

“Oh, Chrysalis! Good to see you! Maybe you can help us find the impostor Jeff and bring him to justice!” I said excitedly.

“You just gone full stupid, never go full stupid.” Chrysalis said.

“UGH! Don’t ever say that! I was told that many times back in Mareami, please don’t do that!” I complained.

“What’s going on here? Flare, do you know her?” Jeff asked.

“I do. She’s the changeling queen I met at the royal wedding.” I said.

“And you annoyed me half to death over there. You and your friends. But it’s not your friends I’m after.” Chrysalis said.

“What are you after then?” I asked.

“Well before I explain, how about you get yourself comfortable?” Chrysalis asked as she used her magic to attach me onto the wall above Jeff, and she glues me onto the wall with changeling goo.

“Oooooh, now I know why this goo looked so familiar.” I nodded

“Silence! You know why I’m after you?” Chrysalis asked.

“You think I’m attractive and you wanna take me away?” I asked.

“Wha-NO!” Chrysalis blushed and said.

“I figured; you’re in a relationship with Flufflepuff.” I teased.

“AM NOT! We’re just friends.” Chrysalis said embarrassingly.

“Sure, that’s what they all say, and next thing you know, you’d be disgracing your church.” I said.

“Be funny all you want, mortal, because our plan was certainly a success. You drove away your friends, and now, you’re alone.” Chrysalis said.

“What?” I asked.

“Yeah, I bet you’re concerned now, aren’t you?” Chrysalis asked mischievously.

“No, I meant what as in: what do you mean?” I asked.

“Ok let’s start from the top: I portrayed myself as Jeff Gorspeed. I hired you to be my crew chief, and give you everything your heart desires. For every minute you spend in paradise, you forget who your friends are, and that’s what you did. You stopped contacting them, Skyping them, and when they even came to visit you, you drove them off.” Chrysalis explained. “You thought you had whatever you want, and you thought to yourself: who needs friends when you have fame, fortune, and paradise?”

“I… I said that, didn’t I?” I asked.

“You did, and now you’re alone. All your friends left to go home, and will forget all about you, and it’s all your fault.” Chrysalis said as she started laughing evilly.

“How can I let fortune and everything my heart’s desire get the best of me? Being Jeff’s crew chief was never my dream, it was making friends; being part of a group to make me feel whole again, and I drove my only true friends away. How could I be so foolish?” I asked myself.

“Wait, what do you mean by your plan being half-successful?” Jeff asked.

“Making Flare Gun lose his friends was only the first part of our plan. I was hoping he wouldn’t find you, and find out the plan, so I’d still portray as you, and fire him, and ruin him. He’d feel betrayed, and never have the will to make friends again.” Chrysalis explained.

“That’s monstrous!” Jeff yelled.

“But since that is no longer the option, I’ll have to alternate to strip Flare Gun from his fame. I’ll have to ruin your career Jeff Gorspeed.” Chrysalis said.

“WHAT?!” Jeff gasped.

“It’s nothing personal, mortal, but that was the Plan B. I’ll have to race this final race of the season, by cheating, and abusing the other races, and taunting at the audience, and after that: you both will be nothing!” Chrysalis explained, and then she started to laugh again. “Oh, and you also one time spun out P.J. Immadigger. He’s my favorite racer.” She added.

“You won’t get away with this!” Jeff yelled.

“Seriously, Jeff? You couldn’t think of anything more original than that? I hear that phrase way too much.” I complained.

“Now if you excuse me, I have to offend ‘my’ pit crew, big time!” Chrysalis said as she laughed and walked out of the trailer.

“How could I be so blind? I knew becoming your crew chief was a little too easy. How can I not see this coming? I’m such a moron!” I said upsettingly.

“Don’t beat yourself up about it, I wouldn’ve thought of it either.” Jeff said.

“Yes you would, because you’d be the crew chief of yourself. Wouldn’t that make you feel a little suspicious?” I asked.

“Look, my point is: we can fix this. We’ll expose Chrysalis to the world and save our careers.” Jeff said.

“Jeff? Being your crew chief is NOT my career. I am the proud owner of Flare’s Pizza Parlor; I belong in Ponyville, with my friends, so Jeff, we’re gonna save YOUR career.” I corrected him.

“If that’s the way you wanna put it, then fine, but first, we have to find a way outta here.” Jeff said.

“Right, but I’m telling you, all this going on right now is a bigger rip off than the time I won a Lord of the Rings ring.” I said.

A cutaway shows a mail pony walking towards my door with a package, and knocking on it; umm, the door that is, not knocking on the package, cause that’ll be silly. “Sup brah?” I asked as I opened the door.

“Package, sir!” the mail pony said.

“Holy Wizard of Feelings! I can’t believe it’s finally here!” I said excitedly as I signed the mail pony’s signature pad.

“Here you go!” the mail pony said as he gave me my package.

“Oh thank you, thank you, thank you!” I said excitedly.

“Thank you, mister…. Bear Buns!” the mail pony said as he read my signature.

“That’s Flare Gun!” I corrected him and slammed the door on his face, but I reopened the door and added, “Have a nice day.” And then slammed the door again. I started to get excited as I hopped into the living room and placed the package on the floor. “Aww yeah, baby! My package is finally here! This is so sweet!” I activated my hornsaber spell so I can cut the tapes holding the package closed, and I opened it quickly and placed my hoof through all the peanuts inside, and took out a little ring box. I opened it slowly as the object inside glowed onto my face. My eye pupils grew as I laid eyes on it. “Could it be? It is! The official Lord of the Rings ring!” I said as I took it out and lifted it in the air. “It’s mine!” After a few moments, I held the ring close to my chest, and I ran into the bathroom, turned on the sink, and started rinsing off the ring. “We’re gonna clean it up, and make it pretty! My own, my love, my precious!” I said in a hobbit voice. As I was chuckling mischievously while washing the ring, I saw some markings on the ring. “What’s this?” I looked closer to the markings and read it: “Made it China. Hmm… so a cabinet made this ring?” The cutaway ends.

“So Jeff while we figure out a way outta here, tell me, who was your last crew chief before you fired them?” I asked.

“I didn’t fire him, but I guess the impostor did to make way for you. His name was Todd Golddigger.” Jeff said.

“LAWL! Gold-digger? Gold-digger as in picking your nose?” I teased.

“Meh.” Jeff shrugged.

“Anyways, I’m feeling a little parched right now. You want something?” I asked.

“How are you supposed to drink when you’re tied up?” Jeff asked.

“I have my ways.” I said as I used my magic to open the fridge from the kitchen, and took out two cans of soda from the fridge and levitated them towards Jeff and I. “See? There we are!”

“I’d actually prefer 7-Up.” Jeff said. Jeff paused for a second and just thought of something. “Wait a minute, did you just use magic?”

“Of course I did! I obviously can’t use my hooves right now. Herpa-derp.” I teased as my eyes were crossed together.

“So your horn is free?” Jeff asked.

“Yeah.” I said.

“Chrysalis forgot to put goo on your horn, huh?” Jeff asked.

“Nope, I guess she forgot.” I said.

“You do realize we’ve been sitting here for 10 minutes already, wasting our time when we should be stopping her.” Jeff reminded me

“Mock me all you want, Jeff. I’ve enjoyed the time we spent together.” I said.

Meanwhile, the race was about to start, and the the racers were getting into position. “Good afternoon, mares and gentlecolts!” Chris Mares started. “This is Chris Mares, along with Darrell Horsetrip, here for the big finale to this Nashorse racing season!”

“That’s right, Chris!” Darrell said. “And it looks like all the racers are getting warmed up for the big race! The winner of this race will win the Horseshoe Cup!”

“This season has been great, Darrell.” Chris said. “We have Jeff Gorspeed, Pony Stewert, P.J. Immadinger, Jimmy Faston, Clint Hayer, Greg Hoofer, Denny Coltlin, and all your favorite Nashorse series racers coming together for one last race of the season! Who will win the Horseshoe Cup?”

“Good luck out there, Jeff.” Pony Stewert said to Jeff Gorspeed on the track.

“Mind your own business.” Impostor Jeff demanded.

“May the best stallion win.” P.J. Immadinger said to Jeff.

“Oh thank you, P.J.! You too!” Impostor Jeff said happily to him.

“Hey, how come you’re a good sport to Immadinger but not me?” Pony complained.

“He’s the best racer around, shut it.” Impostor Jeff demanded.

Back in the trailer, Jeff and I untied ourselves and ran towards the trailer door, but it was locked. “It’s locked from the outside. We need to find a way to unlock this door.” Jeff said.

“I dunno about unlocking, but my SHOOP DA WHOOP can go through anything!” I said. “Step aside, and let the master do his work, and be sure you get me an iced tea.” I start kicking my legs around, stretching my neck out from side to side, and leaned my head down to charge up my horn. “DOCTOR OCTAGONAPUS! BLAAAAH!” I fired my laser on the trailer door, but all it did was reflect and the laser slammed right into me. I fell to the ground and started twitching.

“Well, almost anything.” Jeff said.

“And now, I hope you all have health insurance for absolute adorableness, because here’s Black Gryph0n and Michelle Creber singing the Equestrian National Anthem.” Darrell said from outside.

“The race is almost starting! Come on, Flare! Get up!” Jeff yelled as he started shaking me. I continued twitching and just continued laying there. “I can’t do this without you, man, you need to get up!” I didn’t say anything since I was stunned by my shoop spell, but at the same time, I was exhausted from just preforming that spell in general. Jeff went to get some iced tea from the fridge, poured it into a container, and then we went back to me, picked up my head and laid it on his hoof, and he placed the container in my mouth so I can drink some of the iced tea so I can regain my energy.

“Mama?” I asked.

“Good, you can talk again. Do you have the energy to walk though?” Jeff asked.

“Legs.exe is not responding. Windows can check for a solution when you go online. If you restart or close the program, you might lose information.” I said. “Would you like to check for a solution and restart the program, close the program, or wait for the program to respond?”

“Wait, the phones! Maybe they’re still working, I can call for help.” Jeff said as he got up from the floor, but since my head was on his hoof, my head slammed onto the ground as he ran to get the phone.

“Ow!” I yelled. “I better not get a concussion for that.”

Jeff grabbed the phone, and tried dialing, but nothing happened. “Phones are dead.”

“I got a cellphone in my pocket.” I said.

“Good! Can you call someone then?” Jeff asked.

“Does it look like I could? I was shot by my own shoop spell! That never happened to me before! I can’t move my body; I’m paralyzed right now.” I said.

“Then give me your phone, and I’ll call somepony.” Jeff suggested.

“I never let ANYONE use my phone.” I said.

“Then how are we supposed to call somepony?” Jeff asked. “Can you use your magic?”

“My magic is locked right now for a few minutes after that shoop spell. It’s gotta recharge.” I said.

“UGGH!” Jeff groaned. “Gimmie your phone.”

“You promise not to go through my photo album?” I asked.

“I promise, so where is it?” Jeff asked as he started going through my pockets.

“My photo album is on my phone.” I said.

“I meant your phone.” Jeff said as he continued going through my pockets.

“Did I say you can go through my pockets? Jeez, why are you my favorite Nashorse racer again?” I asked.

“Got it.” Jeff said as he took my phone and unlocked it. “I’ll call for track security.”

“NO! Call Blaze Goldheart, and then place the phone on my shoulder.” I demanded.

“If you say so.” Jeff said as he went through my phone book to find Blaze. He pressed his name, and then he places the phone on my shoulder.

Luckily for me, my friends were still were still at the track. “Why are we still here again?” Aqua asked.

“I want to see Flare actually do his job; I never seen him do it before. Maybe it stresses him out and that’s why he didn’t want to see us.” Crystal thought.

“He wasn’t stressed out though, he was being a jerk.” Psyche corrected her.

“Play! Play! Play!” Engie said to his pad.

“She still not responding?” Spike asked.

“I don’t understand. Am ah too smart for her?” Engie asked.

“Mind if I make a suggestion? How about you just create a stupid word, and then let her win? Maybe she’ll come back and like you again.” Spike suggested.

“That’s a good idea, Spike! I’ll do a stupid word, and then end it there.” Engie said as he created some simple word for Luna in the Words with Friends app. Just then, Blaze’s cell phone started to ring.

“Who is it?” Aqua asked.

Blaze looked at the phone and saw my name on it. “It’s Flare.” He said.

“Don’t answer it.” Psyche suggested.

“Look he had to call me for some reason.” Blaze said.

“Probably to rub it in our faces.” Engie assumed.

“I’m gonna answer it anyway.” Blaze said as he answered the phone. “Hey brah!”

“BLAZE! Thank Wizard of Hope you answered! I thought weren’t gonna answer after the way I treated you before. I let the fame and paradise get to me, and I forgot all about what my true dream was.”

“It’s ok, Flare. I knew you’d come around.” Blaze said.

“Wait, you’re talking to Flare?” Crystal asked.

“Yeah, Crystal, why?” Blaze asked.

“I see Flare among the pit crew and he’s not talking on the phone.” Crystal said.

“I’m inside Jeff’s trailer with Jeff himself.” I said.

“Wait, what? You’re in the trailer with Jeff? But I see Jeff on the track right now, and you're among the pit crew.” Blaze said.

“Can you put him on speaker phone? I don’t hear a word he’s saying.” Crystal said.

“That Jeff Gorspeed racing is an impostor. It’s a changeling, and I think that other me is also one.” I assumed.

“A CHANGELING?! Ugh! I hate changelings!” Blaze said.

“Wow, you have any idea how racist you sound right now, brah?” I asked.

“Look, where are you? I want you to be around so I can tear that freak’s head off!” Blaze said angrily.

“You’re calling someone a freak, huh? Remind you of your past, Blaze?” Psyche asked.

“Shut it, Psyche.” Blaze demanded. “So Flare, tell me where you are!”

“I’m at Jeff’s trailer!” I said.

“What?” Blaze asked.

“Blaze?” I asked.

“Hello, Flare?” Blaze asked.

“What happened?” Aqua asked.

“The call dropped.” Blaze said.

“What’s going on?” Spike asked.

“We have to find Flare and the real Jeff Gorspeed.” Blaze said.

“Where are they?” Crystal asked.

“I think Flare said they’re in Jeff’s trailer.” Blaze said.

“How can we get there? That middle area is heavily guarded. They won’t let us in now.” Spike pointed out.

Blaze started to think for a few moments, and then he smiled mischievously and said, “I think I might have an idea.”

Over at the race track, Jimmy Fastson was about to set up a trap for the other racers, which he thought were mice it would seem because he laid mouse traps on the track. That changeling that cosplayed as me on the stand may be my double because he too had a keen eye. “Ok, Jeff, you got mouse traps on the track. Stay on guard.” the impostor me informed.

“Got it.” Impostor Jeff said. Chrysalis would seem to have acrobatic classes in her fast because she seemed to evade those mouse traps like a boss!

“Whoa there, Chris! Check out Jeff Gorspeed on the track!” Darrell pointed out.

“I’ll say, Darrell! That racer sure knows pretty amazing moves.” Chris said.

“Jeff, when you get to the open again, be sure you buck them mouse traps right back at the others racers!” impostor me suggested.

“Right on it!” impostor Jeff said as she started bucking the mouse traps at the other racers behind him while continuing to run. Clint Hayer, Greg Hoofer, and a third racer who’s unnamed at this moment was hit by the mouse traps. Clint and the unnamed racer fell on the ground while Greg started running out of control and started spinning out.

“Whoa there! It would seem Clint Hayer, Greg Hoofer, and some anonymous racer got spun out. We’ll have to bring in the caution flag so the tow carriage can retrieve the fallen racers, and bring them to the pits.” Chris said as the flag waver on the track waved the yellow flag, and the caution pony trotted out of the pits and joined with the racers so the remaining racers would slow down.

“Nopony seemed to notice your prank. We’ll have to wait until the restart.” Impostor me said.

“Why don’t I just ignore the yellow flag and continue running?” impostor Jeff asked.

“That would be too easy. To cheat in the race, Jeff would have to make it look like he’s not trying to gain any attention. If he gains attention, it would seem too suspicious.” Impostor me informed.

“Alright, I got just the thing for my next trick.” Impostor Jeff said as she (yeah, I said 'she' since that's Chrysalis) took out a vial from her pocket that said ‘mop water’, and she starts to chuckle.

Meanwhile over at Jeff’s trailer, the two of us were still awaiting for assistance, but around this time, I started to regain my senses again. “Cool! I can move the upper part of my body again!” I said excitedly.

“Well I hope your lower half will start moving soon. It’ll be just a matter of time before your friends arrive.” Jeff said. “You think they’ll be able to get past security?”

“Trust me, there’s no obstacle my friends cannot handle.” I said. “Except anything really high; Aqua’s afraid of heights.”

“So what did you do to Chrysalis to make her want to ruin you like this?” Jeff asked.

“I-D-K. I did annoy her at the royal wedding, but that’s nothing to ruin somepony about. I think something else is up.” I assumed.

“What do you mean?” Jeff asked.

“Chrysalis said OUR plan, so she’s not working alone. Maybe the one she’s working with has a grudge on me.” I assumed.

“Who would hold a grudge on you?” Jeff asked.

“I’m not sure. Lots of ponies have a grudge on me. I’m not really the most popular pony in Equestria.” I said.

Just then, Crystal kicks the door to the trailer down and yells, “FREEZE! I HAVE A CELERY STICK, AND I’M NOT AFRAID TO USE IT!”

“Brahs! You made it!” I said excitedly.

“We’d never leave a friend hangin’.” Aqua said.

“Are you alright, man?” Blaze asked.

“Well, I had a little… accident… a little while ago, and I can’t move my legs.” I said.

“Did you soil yourself?” Engie asked.

“Wha- NO! I was gonna use my shoop spell to break down the door, but it backfired on me and it paralyzed me. The top part of my body is good now, but my bottom half is still paralyzed.” I explained.

“How did you all get passed security anyway?” Jeff asked.

“I have my ways.” Crystal said.

A cutaway shows a track security guard who was guarding the pits, thinking to himself about the riddle Crystal told him. “Hmm, what is a face with no eyes? Umm… A CLOCK!” he snapped his hooves and yelled out. He then looked around, and he realized what just happened. “Hey, I’ve been had!” he complained. The cutaway ends.

“We have to stop the changeling and capture her. I don’t think she’s working alone.” I said.

“Yeah, there’s a changeling that’s imposing as you that’s taking over as crew chief.” Psyche said.

“No I mean, I think there’s actually someone that holds a grudge against me. I didn’t offend Chrysalis so much that she’d wanna ruin me; who is the spider mastermind behind it all?” I thought.

“Ha! Doom reference.” Engie said.

“We have to find a way to stop that changeling from ruining Jeff’s career, but how are we gonna stop her?” I asked.

“I think I might have an idea.” Jeff said.

“Oh? Do tell, Jeff!” Blaze listened.

“For all Chrysalis knows, she’s speaking with one of her subjects at the pits, and she’s cosplaying as Flare right now.” Jeff said.

“Where are ya gettin’ at?” Aqua asked.

“If we can capture that changeling, remove his headset, and Flare takes over as him, then we can trick Chrysalis into saving my career.” Jeff said.

“Then we’ll bring her in, and take her down!” Engie said.

“Doesn’t sound like a bad plan, Jeff. Let’s do it!” Spike said.

“And this is why Jeff is my favorite racer.” I said.

“I’m still into Denny.” Crystal said.

Back on the race track, the race was at a restart as the green flag waved signaling it. “And we have come to restart. Boy, Darrell, I have to say, we’ve been seeing some insane gags during this race.” Chris said.

“That’s right, Chris. It was reported that the cleanup crew found mouse traps on the track. Can you believe it? Mouse traps!” Darrell said.

“It would seem we have a prankster on the track today, folks. Where and when will he strike next?” Chris asked.

“Alright, Jeff, do your stuff!” impostor me said.

“Copy that.” Impostor Jeff said as she took the vial of mop water out of her pocket and threw it onto the track. P.J. Immadinger was the only racer to slip on the mop water in the middle of the tack. “NO! Not P.J. Immadinger! You idiot!” she yelled at impostor me.

“Look, you want this plan to go well or not?” impostor me asked and snorted. Impostor Jeff sighs and continues running.

Meanwhile, the eight of us were sneaking behind the other trailers, and we made eye contact to the changeling imposing as me. “There I am.” I pointed.

“No here you are.” Crystal teased.

“We have to get him while he’s not looking. If he tells her that he’s in trouble, she’d be onto us.” Psyche said.

“How do you not know if that changeling is a her, Psyche?” Spike asked.

“I know what to do. Blaze, come with me, I’ll need ya help for this, mate.” Aqua said.

“Got it!” Blaze said. So Aqua and Blaze crouched over to Jeff’s pit crew stand. Nopony noticed that the two were there. The impostor of me was just sitting there, and the other pit crew members were getting ready for Jeff to approach the pits for a refill of energy. Aqua sneaks behind the impostor of me and tapped on his left shoulder. The impostor of me looked at the direction, but nopony was there, and then Blaze popped out from the right of him, covered his mouth, and brought him down and removed his headset quickly.

“Come on, Flare.” Aqua whispered.

“I can’t! My legs are still paralyzed.” I whispered back.

“I’ll take you over there.” Spike said as he started to carry me over to the pits and take over as crew chief. The other pit crew members still didn’t notice that the crew chief was missing.

“Spike I didn’t know you were so strong.” I said.

“You call this strong? Try carrying Rarity’s luggage for two hours straight.” Spike said. Spike throws me up on the stand, and I land onto the crew chief spot with the headset on my head.

“Is everything alright, boss?” one of the pit crew members asked.

“Everything’s hunky dory!” I said as I saluted him. “Note to self: never say ‘hunky dory’ again.”

“Let go of me!” impostor me yelled.

“Not until you tell us who you and Chrysalis are working for.” Aqua said.

“We ain’t working for no one!” impostor me yelled and snorted.

“Don’t make us torture you, you filthy changeling scum!” Blaze threatened him.

“Whoa, Blaze! Calm down, man! That’s taking it a little too far.” Spike said.

“Sorry. I get a… little carried away sometimes.” Blaze said as he scratched his hoof.

“Flare, nopony’s falling for the mop water. What do I do?” impostor Jeff asked from the headset.

“Cheating won’t ruin Jeff’s career. I have a new plan that’ll finish Jeff’s career once and for all! You’re in the lead right now, so try to win this fairly.” I instructed her.

“Why?” Chrysalis asked.

“Just do it. I’ll explain later. To make this more interesting, we should spill the beans at the end of the race. That’s how we’ll do this.” I said.

“And how do you propose we do that?” Chrysalis asked.

“Just do it, your highness.” I demanded.

“If you say so.” Chrysalis said as she continued.

“Everything seems to be under control, Jeff. Your career will be safe from harm.” Psyche said.

“Thank you, I really appreciate it.” Jeff said.

“Jeff Gorspeed?!” Clint Hayer gasped from behind him.

“Clint? What are you doing back here?” Jeff asked.

“I got into an accident. I thought you were racing? You’re in the lead.” Clint said.

“Look, that Jeff out there is an impostor, a changeling, and this here is one of her subjects.” Jeff said as he pointed to the impostor of me who was being held onto by Blaze.

“Clint, help! These ponies are lying to you! This Jeff is the impostor, and I’m the real Flare!” impostor me lied and snorted.

“Shut it, changeling scum!” Blaze demanded as he yanked on the impostor’s arms.

“Ow! Jeez, you’re strong freak of nature, aren’t you?” the impostor of me asked.

“FREAK OF NATURE?!” Blaze yelled.

“Blaze, calm down. You are not a freak of nature, y’all are a unique piece of Faust’s work.” Engie said.

“Thank you, Engie. I appreciate it.” Blaze smiled.

“Hey where did Clint go?” Psyche asked.

“He was just here a moment ago.” Aqua said.

“Oh no! He’s gonna report this. The race will be over, and all will be in chaos.” Jeff said.

“We have to stop him!” Spike said.

“I’ll go find him.” Blaze said as he flies off to go look for Clint.

“Folks, we have a red flag, we are right now putting the race onto a halt right now.” Chris said.

“That’s right, Chris, it would seem that one of the racers is a changeling. We’ve called in track security to bring Jeff Gorspeed into custody, and locate the real one so we can continue this race.” Darrell said.

“We have to capture Chrysalis, and quickly!” Aqua said.

“You’re right. My only worry is, I hope the track security doesn’t mistake me as the changeling.” Jeff said.

“HEY! JEFF! STOP RIGHT THERE!” one of the security guards yelled.

“It’s too late.” Psyche said. “RUN!” Jeff started getting chased by the security guards throughout the trailer park. He ran from door to door, getting chased by the guards. They kept running from door to door, trailer to trailer. Jeff was being chased by the guards, the guards were being chased by Jeff, Scooby Doo and his gang joined along in running from trailer to trailer, and once the security guards slammed into one another, Jeff knew it was his chance to evade the guards, and capture the other Jeff on the race track. All the racers were approaching the pits, but Jeff pops out of the trailer park and tackles the impostor Jeff on the track.

“Oh no, Jeff!” I started running out of the pits and went to go help Jeff. “Oh hey, I can move my lower half of my body again!” I said excitedly. I jumped in front of Jeff and the impostor, and aimed my horn at them. “Alright, let’s finish this!” Both of the Jeffs got up and stood next to each other, and stared at me. “Oh for Wizard of Hope’s sake! I called this! I knew this was gonna happen! I totally jinxed it! I’m so smart!”

“Flare, I’m the real Jeff! You believe me right?” one of the Jeffs asked me. I just shot my laser blast spell at that Jeff and that Jeff fell down.

“How did you know that was the impostor?” the other Jeff asked.

“I already said I didn’t want to go through with this, and you should know that I didn’t want to. You’re a nice guy, Jeff, and very smart.” I said.

“Thanks, man! You too!” Jeff said.

“No, I’m not. I sold out my friends for fortune and paradise. I’m the biggest idiot on the planet after Lindsey Lohan.” I said.

“We all make mistakes, Flare. You didn’t lose your friends.” Jeff said as he placed his hoof on my shoulder. “They helped us track down the real villain behind this, and you reclaimed their friendship by trusting them, and learning from your mistakes.”

“Thanks, brah. I’m just glad we got through with this.” I said. I then looked over at the impostor Jeff and saw her return back to her changeling form. “Well, well, well! Queen Chrysalis has been defeated once again!”

“Yeah, big woop about it.” Chrysalis said with an attitude.

“Chrysalis, I apologize for annoying you at the wedding, but is that any reason to ruin me?” I asked.

“No it’s not. This wasn’t my plan. I was only in it for the love. He would give me all the love in the world if I helped him do this. In a way, you seem to be a nice guy.” Chrysalis said.

“Who did it, Chrysalis? Who made you this?” I asked.

“He was the one that wanted to ruin you. He knows you live in Ponyville now, and he won’t stop to gain his revenge.” Chrysalis said.

“Who though?” I asked.

“His name is-“ Chrysalis was cut off and got teleported away.

“Chrysalis? CHRYSALIS?!” I yelled.

“What happened?” Blaze asked.

“Chrysalis got teleported away, but how?” I asked.

“Look, it’s the impostor of you.” Jeff pointed out.

“You won’t get away with my plans, Crimson Flare Gun! I will get you! I have returned, and I will have my revenge!” the impostor of me said. Blaze started to charge towards him, but the impostor already teleported away as well, and Blaze slammed right onto the track.

“He got away.” Jeff said.

“That impostor of me was not a changeling. I was right, somepony does have a grudge on me, and wants their revenge, but… what have I ever done to them?” I asked.

“What’s going on? What happened?” Aqua asked as the others caught up to us.

“Chrysalis wasn’t the one that has a grudge on me. Somepony is after me, and Chrysalis was a pawn for their plan.” I said.

“Do you know who’s after you?” Psyche asked.

“I don’t, but I do know that it’s someone who is really desperate to ruin me.” I said.

“Excuse me, Mr. Jeff Gorspeed? The fans would like to know about what has happened, what’s the scoop?” Darrell asked as him and some camera crew came to interview Jeff.

“Well, Darrell, it would seem that somepony was set to ruin my career, but the disaster is over now, and it’s all thanks to my crew chief here: Flare Gun, and his six friends here.” Jeff said.

“Darrell! What a great name! I have a fish named Darrel, but spelled with one L.” I said.

“Nice! I like your style of names! Mr. Chair Dun…” Darrell started.

“That’s Bear Buns- I mean, Flare Gun!” I corrected him.

“The fans would like to know about your experience.” Darrell asked.

“Is Princess Luna watching?” I asked.

“No idea, but we’ll make sure she does once we have this all recorded.” Darrell said.

“Well, throughout my experience being Jeff’s crew chief, I learned a valuable lesson about friendship. You may forget what your true dream is when you’re submitted to a big responsibility that would give you everything your heart desires, but all that means nothing without somepony to share it all with. If my friends won’t be a part of my experiences, then I’m not interested in any of it!” I explained.

“That seems very heartwarming, Mr. Gun. Alright, back to you, Chris!” Darrell said.

“Anyways, Flare Gun, thank you again for everything. If you’re interested, you can still be my crew chief.” Jeff asked.

“Again, why are you my favorite racer? Did you not hear a word I just said? I’m not gonna let fortune and fame come through my head again. No thanks, but I feel I should return to Ponyville, where I belong.” I said.

“Ok, ok, no need to be antsy, I understand completely.” Jeff said. “But if there’s a anything you need at all, just let me know and I’ll see what I can do.”

“I appreciate it, Jeff! Thank you! But actually, there is one thing.” I said. All of the sudden, I started riding on Jeff’s back around the track as the race continued where it left off. “WOOOO HOOO!” I cried. “I’M ON THE TOP OF THE WORLD, OR IN THIS CASE, TOP OF THE JEFF GORSPEED! TOP OF THE MORNING! I JUST REALIZE I’M NOT BRITIIIIIISH!”

Jeff smirks over at Jimmy Fastson who was right next to him. “Any tricks today, Jimmy?” Jeff asked.

“Nope! I’m done with all that. Where’s the honor in that? See you at the finish line!” Jimmy said as he stuck his tongue out at Jeff. The two of them were neck and neck as we were approaching the final lap.

As my friends were all watching from the pits, they all cheered for us, and Engie was checking out if Luna returned on the Words with Friends app, and… she did. “Oh hey, Luna returned again, and she won the game! Congratulations to her! Oh, look, she sent me a PM: Dear Engie, You stink at this game. LOLOLOL. Nopony can beat the princess of the night. I am the word master. Stick to what you do best, and not be that useful in the battlefield.” Engie frowned after he read that.

Jeff and Jimmy were still neck and neck, and they were about to reach the finish, just a few hundred feet away, and who won you may ask? Well… you’ll never know. HA! Trolled.

Author's Note

The remake of the first Hail to the Chief, Baby. As you can see, the Mane Six was replaced with the Noble Six, and there are a few additions to the story as well, a few plot twists. Also, Chrysalis has a better reason for antagonizing Flare and Jeff in this story, and there's a friendship lesson that actually makes sense in here.

Flare Through Time - Part 1

SHROOM FILMS PRESENTS.....

FLARE THROUGH TIME

STARTING:
MegaSean45 as Flare Gun
and
Cathy Weseluck as Spike

A PART OF THE FRIENDSHIP IS EPIC FANFIC.

CREATED BY: MegaSean45

We start off our story at Flare’s Pizza Parlor, where I, Flare Gun, has just finished making a pizza for the Squidward of our town: Cranky Doodle Donkey. “Here you are, Cranks: a whole wheat soy pizza with cut up grains, baked to the perfection, along with a side of carrot cake, hold the cake, and a small amount of water without lemon.” I said as I gave him his whole wheat soy- well, you know what I gave him.

“Thanks, kid.” Cranky said.

“Excuse me? I happen to be 25 years old, with actual horse years, I’m like in my late 70s.” I corrected him.

“Well, I stand corrected then.” Cranky said as he grabbed his order.

“Lemme ask you something before you go. How long did it take for Pinkie to get you to smile?” I asked.

“A whole day.” Cranky said. “I’m sure though that I beat the record of how long Pinkie Pie got someone to smile.”

“That’s not true. It took a whole week for Pinkie to get General Grievous to smile.” I corrected him.

A cutaway shows Pinkie bouncing ON a ball while juggling, and wearing a mustache with a propeller hat. “C’mon, Grievous! You know you want to smile!” she said.

“No.” Grievous said.

“Pleeeeeeeeeeease?” Pinkie begged.

“I told you a million times already! I don’t smile!” Grievous said with an attitude.

Pinkie gets upset and loses her balance on the ball, and whatever she was juggling falls on her head. “C’mon, Grevy! We’ve been at it for a week, and I’m willing to take forever to get you to smile! Whatever it takes!” Pinkie said.

“Look, the only thing that makes me happy, is putting the Jedi Order to extinction!” Grievous said as he put his droid hand to a fist.

Pinkie giggles and says, “I have nooooo idea what that means, but you’re funny, Grievous!”

“Be lucky you’re not a Jedi, or I’d kill you.” Grievous said.

Pinkie giggles and takes one of Grievous’s lightsabers. “Oooooo! What is this?”

“Hey! Don’t touch that!” Grievous yelled, but just as he was to grab the lightsaber away from her, she activates it.

“Ooooo! This is the best glowstick I’ve ever seen!” Pinkie said.

“That is not a glowstick.” Grievous corrected her.

“Does it glow?” Pinkie asked.

“Umm… yes.” Grievous nodded.

“Is it a stick?” Pinkie asked.

”Yes.” Grievous said.

“Then it’s a glowstick! Your argument is invalid.” Pinkie said as she started waving the lightsaber around.

“Be careful! That’s a dangerous weapon I stole after killing a Jedi!” Grievous said.

“Wooo! Listen to that sound when I wave it! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!” Pinkie giggled, but as she was waving Grievous’s lightsaber around, she accidentally injects it inside Obi-Wan Kenobi.

“Well… that definitely needs some stitches.” Obi-Wan said, looking down at his flesh wound, and then he collapsed onto the ground.

“Congratulations, Pinkie Pie. You just made me smile.” Grievous said. The cutaway ends.

“Now if you excuse me, I’m here with my cousin. I’m showing him around town.” Cranky said.

“Why bother? It’s not like I’m gonna be living here.” Eeyore asked in a miserable tone.

“Oh don’t be that way, cousin. It’s not like there’s much going on around town anyway.” Cranky said. After Cranky sits down with his cousin, Spike runs inside and heads over to the register.

“Hello! Welcome to Flare’s Pizza Parlor! Where dining experience may change during eating.” I said.

“How’s it going, Flare? There’s something I have to show you.” Spike said as he reaches inside his satchel to get something.

“I’m doing great, Spike! How about you?” I asked.

“Alright.” Spike said. “But I really have to show you something.”

“How about telling me one thing at a time? You first asked me how’s it going, and then you said that you have something to show me. How about finishing one subject before starting another?” I suggested.

“Sorry. Now check this out!” Spike said as he took a magazine out of his satchel and showed it to me.

“Cool magazine!” I said.

“Thanks! It’s the top 20 stupidest things ponies did this month.” Spike said as he shows me some random ponies in the magazine discussing the stupid stuff they did. “Look, at this one! Number 20: Matty Dream, known for the stupidest prank he pulled on the mayor of Trottingham. He turned all his clothes polka-dotted! Now isn’t that hilarious, or what?”

“I’ve seen better, turn the page.” I commented.

“Number 19: Jeremy Fever, a pony known for his latest achievement: making everypony in his class sick so they don’t have to take Chemistry test!”

“I like his idea, I’ve always hated Chemistry, but I still seen better. Next!” I commented.

“Let’s skip to number 15: Lolo Purs, a stray cat disguising itself as a house cat to get free food.” Spike said.

“Now THAT is awesome!” I commented.

“Glad you like it!” Spike said.

“But it doesn’t belong in this magazine, it belongs to Lolcats.com. Next!” I added.

“You should like this one then. Number 8: Cheese Sandwich. Interrupting a city council meeting by singing a random polka song out of nowhere.” Spike said.

“That has always been a dream of mine!” I commented.

“Glad there’s something worth to you in this magazine.” Spike said.

“But Cheese Sandwich is a celebrity, he doesn’t count, and I can do much better than that!” I added.

“Oh really? You think can beat the best of the best of stupid ponies? Number 1!” Spike said.

“Who’s number 1?” I asked.

“Pinkie Pie!” Spike said mischievously.

“Pinkie Pie’s number 1, huh? Well it should be easier to locate her for competition, since I know where she lives. What was her stupid prank?” I asked.

“Remember the time she visited Manehatten for an occasion?” Spike asked.

“Yeah.” I nodded.

“Well she climbed onto the top of the Empire Stable Building wearing containers full of condiments on her belt, and wearing her Chancellor Puddingcup hat, with actual pudding on it!” I said.

“You sure that’s pudding I see in that picture? Because it looks a lot like chocolate mousse yogurt.” I commented.

“Like I was saying: Pinkie was also wearing popper pants.” Spike added.

“Popper pants?” I asked.

“Yeah, the popcorn you make in your pants.” Spike said. “So Pinkie pressed the button on her pants, and she started to fall from the top of the building.”

“Did she say ‘kids don’t try this at home’?” I asked.

“Yes she did.” Spike said.

“Good. Gotta think of the children before preforming a stupid stunt.” I said.

“So Pinkie started to fall from the highest point in Equestria, by the time she started to fall, the popcorn in her pants started to pop. When Pinkie finally reached the ground, the popcorn broke her fall, and the condiments she had on her belt sprayed EVERYWHERE! Took three days to clean up the mess, but ever since 1998, Pinkie held the title: Equestria’s Stupidest Pony, but in a good way. She was well respected ever since.” Spike said.

“Wow! I am impressed!” I commented.

“And this was probably her best stunt yet, and this was only last month!” Spike said.

“I can still do better than Pinkie though.” I said.

“Are you kidding? Ponies have been trying to gain that title since before I was born!” Spike said.

“Well, this month, somepony new is gonna gain the title. I’m gonna create the world’s stupidest stunt!” I said.

“And what might that be, Crimson?” Spike asked.

“NO!” I yelled at him.

“No what?” Spike asked.

“You know what you said.” I glared at him.

“You don’t like to be called Crimson?” Spike asked.

“NO! Stop calling me that!” I yelled at him.

“Why not? It’s your name, right?” Spike asked.

“All my bullies called me Crimson. Call me Flare, my family and my friends call me that. Or you can call me a slang like dude, bro, brah, homie, homeboy, stal-pal, broham, broski, bro-bro-amino, and big guy.” I explained.

“Big guy?” Spike asked.

“I’m taller than any of the Mane Six, Crystal, Psyche, Aqua, and obviously you.” I said.

“What about Engie and Blaze?” Spike asked.

“Engie is the same size as me, and Blaze is taller.” I explained. “I’m also bigger than most of my family members. My uncle is the biggest.”

“Alright, well, we’re getting off topic right now. If you think you’re better than Pinkie on being the stupidest pony alive, how are you going to prove it?” Spike asked.

“By creating a-“ I stopped myself.

“By creating a what?” Spike asked.

“Shhhh! We’re being watched.” I whispered. Spike looks around and sees everypony just eating their lunches, not looking at us, even though it’s 11:30 AM, why bother eating lunch that early?

“Who’s watching us?” Spike asked.

“The pranksters! We gotta go somewhere a little more private. Follow me.” I whispered as I started to walk.

“Where we going, your office?” Spike asked.

“No, nowhere here. Lyra’s a prankster too. I gotta go somewhere where there’s a less of a chance to find prankers.” I corrected him.

“Your trailer?” Spike asked.

“I don’t trust Rainbow.” I said.

“Your fish?” Spike asked.

“YES my fish! Is there any other Rainbow around here?” I asked with an attitude.

“Rainbow Dash.” Spike said.

“Oh, right. But I don’t trust my fish Rainbow, he just floats there in my tank doing nothing. I don’t trust it. He’s planning something.” I said.

A cutaway shows Rainbow floating there in the fish tank with an empty look on his face. We zoom and very slowly as suspenseful music played in the background. The music started getting louder, louder than the THX movie logo, because we can all agree that THAT’s loud. The background started getting darker as we move closer to Rainbow, but once we get to Rainbow’s face, Pearl shows up and asks him, “Rainbow, what are you doing?”

“I’m sleeping.” Rainbow said.

“That’s how you sleep?” Pearl asked.

“That’s how I sleep too. That’s how all rainbow fish sleep.” Dorthey said.

“What you’re doing is not sleeping. Look at Piddles, now HE’s sleeping.” Pearl pointed to Piddles who’s lying down on the rocks.

“Can you not talk about me please while I’m sleeping?” Piddles complained. The cutaway ends.

“How about we go to the library? There are no pranksters there.” Spike suggested.

“Meh, I don’t trust the look on Owlowiscious’s face.” I said.

“Yeah, I know how that feels.” Spike said.

A cutaway shows Owlowiscious just standing there on his pole, staring in space, suspenseful music plays in the background as we slowly move closer to him. “Owlowiscious, what are you doing?” Spike’s phoenix Peewee asked.

“I’m sleeping, my good fellow.” Owlowiscious said.

“That doesn’t look like sleeping to me. It looks like that if someone was over there, you’d be staring right into their soul!” Peewee said.

“I do that too.” Owlowiscious said as he stares right at Peewee with an emotionless look on his face.

“I wish I could punch you right now.” Peewee commented. The cutaway ends.

“Anyways, I’m taking us to the comedy club on the other side of town.” I said.

“Why are you taking us there? What makes you think it’s private enough?” Spike asked.

“The shows over there suck. I doubt anyone would be there.” I said.

“But if they listen to you, they’re going to gain ideas for their shows.” Spike corrected me.

“I’ll sue them.” I said.

“Not if they release the work to the public first.” Spike said.

“Hmmm.” I thought to myself. Spike did have a good point there. Ponies do like to steal comedy work made by others that worked so hard to make the jokes……. Forget that I said that. “You make a good point there, brah. I suppose we could just discuss it in my lounge, as long as my XBUCKS ain’t on. In fact, all electronics will go off.” I said as I took out my phone and turned it off. “You too, Spike.”

“You and Twilight are the only ones on my contact list. Who’s gonna know?” Spike asked.

“Hackers have their way, my friend.” I said. Spike rolls his eyes and takes out his phone to turn it off. “Why am I turning it off now? We’re not even at your trailer yet.”

“Oh relax, man! It’s not that we’re gonna need it for any- Oh cool, an iguana!" I said as I saw an iguana outside. "I should really take a picture of it, but shucks, I turned my phone off already.”

“I haven’t shut mine off yet.” Spike said.

“No! I wanted to take it with my phone!” I complained.

“It’s really no big deal.” Spike said.

“MY PHONE!” I yelled. So the two of us went back to my trailer, and walked inside the lounge, over to the microwave. “Here we are!”

“So your stupid prank is going to have something to do with this microwave, huh?” Spike asked.

“No, it’s not SOMETHING to do with this microwave, it’s EVERYTHING I’m gonna do with this microwave! The microwave IS the prank!” I corrected him.

“What’s a microwave gonna do?” Spike asked.

“Oh with a microwave you can do so many things! I once seen a video on YouTube that you can put a peep in a 100,000 watt microwave, and it’ll turn into a giant! Probably as big as a Scarab from Halo.” I said.

“You’re not gonna do that are you?” Spike asked.

“Hay yeah I’m gonna do it!” I shouted in excitement.

“Are you crazy?! That sounds dangerous!” Spike said.

“I would be crazy if I was actually crazy enough to do something like that.” I said.

“Wait… what?” Spike asked.

“I was joking, brah, I’m not gonna do that. But here’s something no one has done yet: turning a microwave into a time machine!” I said.

“Really, dude? That sounds pretty ridiculous.” Spike said.

“Bro, if a Delorean can be a time machine, if a phone box can be a time machine, even if a hot tub can be a time machine, then why not make a microwave a time machine?” I asked.

“Well, I suppose you do have a point there.” Spike said.

“Of course I do! I’m smart!” I said.

“So how do you propose we make this time machine?” Spike asked.

“First of all, I’ll need tons of tinfoil.” I started.

“Tinfoil, wow. How did I know you were gonna say that?” Spike asked sarcastically as he walked into the kitchen to get some tinfoil. Throughout the time we’ve been spending together, we were gathering parts to make the time machine. We brought lots and lots of tinfoil, and I asked Spike to get some fruits and veggies to also put in the microwave. Next, we got eggs, boiling water, sponges, plastic, spaghetti sauce, and some fine china, and we were able to fit them all inside the microwave. I know! I couldn’t believe it either!

Oh, and I almost forgot: kids, don’t try this at home. I mean it! This could be very dangerous, and I have no guarantees that it’ll turn into a time machine. Even if I am successful in turning this microwave into a time machine, I strongly doubt the same will happen to your microwave, because the microwave I use is special. So please, don’t do it! No matter what happens here, promise you won’t do what I’m doing right now! If you promise, then you’re welcome to scroll down and continue the story. Yes, you need my permission.

“Alright, we did it! It looks like our time machine is ready!” I said.

“Not quite. You see, I read online that when most of the fictional characters on TV build a time machine, they used plutonium to power up their time machines.” Spike explained.

“Plutonium, huh? Sounds easy enough, except for one thing: WHERE THE HAY ARE WE SUPPOSE TO FIND PLUTONIUM?!” I yelled. Just then, the doorbell rang. “Spike, can you get that?”

“Sure.” Spike said as he walked over to the door to answer it. “Hello?”

“Chinese food delivery.” A Chinese food delivery pony said while carrying a cardboard box full of food.

“Oh thank you!” Spike said as he took the food. “How much?”

“12 bits.” The Chinese delivery pony said.

“I love it when Chinese restaurants have so many portions, yet so little prices!” Spike said as he gave the pony a 10 and a 5, and then the pony took them, and gave Spike 3 bits back. “Thanks!”

“No, no, thank you! We respect the ways of the dragon. Our wishes are always your command.” The Chinese pony bowed to Spike.

“Wow, then I’ll come back to your restaurant later then!” Spike said as he closed the door on the delivery pony, and Spike took the food over to the lounge. “Check it out. Chinese food is here!”

“Cool! Can’t go through time on an empty stomach! Thanks for ordering this.” I said.

“Oh I didn’t order it, I thought you did?” Spike asked.

“Nope.” I said.

“Well… do you find that suspicious at all? Neither one of us ordered Chinese food.” Spike said.

“It’s no suspicion; it’s obvious the neighbors were playing a prank on us.” I said.

“Oh; well, it’s no big deal. Chinese food is cheap anyway, and there’s a lot in here!” Spike said. “I should’ve asked for it for free because this delivery pony really respected me.”

“Well we have been working pretty hard, and I have been feeling a little ravenous.” I said as I took the container of Wonton soup and opened it, but what puzzles me was why the container was glowing. “Brah, why is the wonton soup glowing?” I asked.

“Isn’t that normal for wonton soup?” Spike asked.

“No, that’s egg drop soup you might be thinking of.” I corrected him. I used my magic to open the container, and I looked inside and a case of plutonium inside. “HOLY WIZARD OF STRENGTH!” I yelled.

“Is that… plutonium?” Spike asked.

“Why is there plutonium in the wonton soup container?” I asked.

“I have no idea! I didn’t order this food! Maybe the neighbors ordered plutonium or something!” Spike thought.

“You know, this would make more sense if the plutonium was actually in the egg roll package, because they share the same shape.” I said as I picked up the plutonium with my magic, but then I stopped myself. “Oops. Safety first.” I didn’t want my magic to be infected with radiation sickness, so I placed a rubber horn cover over my horn. I can’t have my stick being infected with any diseases, you know? So I used my magic to place the plutonium inside one of the slots under the microwave. “There! Now the time machine is ready!”

“I can hardly wait! I still have yet to know what time to visit.” Spike said excitedly.

“I’ve been always been wanting to travel to the day interweb trolling was invented!” I said excitedly.

A cutaway shows HappyGoLuckyNews78 commenting on a YouTube video saying, “Dat iz a c00l vid dud I subed!” And another user by the name of Statler said, “Hey, HappyGoLucky? Your name is just as good as your spelling! Go back to school, dummy!” and another comment by the name of Waldorf said, “Why? This comment is fits perfectly on this dumb video! OH HO HO HO HO HO!” and then Staler commented, “OH HO HO HO HO HO HO HO!” and then then the user that made the video deleted Staler and Waldorf’s comments, and then Staler commented, “You like deleting stuff don’t you? Why don’t you delete this video then? OH HO HO HO HO HO!” and then Waldorf commented right after, “OH HO HO HO HO HO HO!” The cutaway ends.

“Well you know where I’ve always to go? The day Twilight and I first moved to Ponyville.” Spike said.

“Why? You wanna stop yourself from coming?” I asked.

“No, I just missed out on seeing Nightmare Moon getting defeated in person. It was a once in a lifetime opportunity to watch, but I slept through the whole thing! If I had to go back in time once, I wanted to witness that for myself.” Spike said.

“Well… since you say you were left out of that event, then I’ll be happy to send us back there!” I said.

“Oh thank you, Flare! Really, this means along.” Spike said thankfully.

“It’s no big deal, but… you were awake by the time you got to Ponyville right?” I asked.

“Yes.” Spike said.

“Well, you’re the only one that needs to lay low. Me, I didn’t move into town yet, so I can do whatever I want!” I said.

“Not anything that can change the future though.” Spike reminded me.

“Well of course not!” I said in an obvious tone. “Now allow me to type in the date we need to go on the microwave, and we shall get it done. But… what date was it?” As I asking Spike about the date, a plastic container from the Chinese food box started rolling near us. We didn’t see it though.

“The date was June 21, 2010.” Spike said.

“You know, it confuses me. Why is the date 2010? What does that number represent?” I asked.

“It’s been 2010 years since Equestria was founded, and the three pony tribes have-“ Spike explained but I cut him off.

“Alright, I get it now. No need to explain the whole thing.” I said.

“Hey, you asked.” Spike reminded me.

“And I regret every second of it.” I said as I typed 1:25 on the microwave since the day Twilight and Spike came into town was 1 year and 25 days ago from today, because this year’s Summer Sun Celebration is in 25 days.

“Are you sure that’s how you’re supposed to punch in those numbers?” Spike asked.

“It’s my microwave, I know what I’m doing, brah.” I said. Just as I pressed the start button to start the microwave, and the microwave starts glowing, and the lights in the house start flickering. The microwave then glows a big beam, and the beam hits Spike and I, and we vanish outta thin-air. Once the procedure ends, the microwave beeps and reads the word ‘END’ on the timer.

Meanwhile inside the void, Spike and I started flying through it; screaming, spinning around, and I even took a break in the middle of the screaming to take out a bottle of water and drink it. Then when I was done with the water, I continued screaming as we flew through the vortex. What I saw in the vortex was a lot of different clocks, and different ponies wearing different types of clothing, and I even saw certain events that happened over the pony years. Everything started to fade black shortly after.

After a while went by, Spike and I were laying down right outside Sugarcube Corner. Spike shortly woke up and rubbed his head. “Oh man! Feels like I’ve been hit by a garbage carriage!”

“Hey! I didn’t run over nothin’!” the garbage pony complained as he picked up a dumpster with his magic and dumped it all in his carriage.

I was still passed out, but Spike was up and he looked around Ponyville. “Well… did it work? I mean… everything does look different.”

“It’s approximately a year in the past, how can it not work?” I asked in an obvious tone as Spike jumped. “Did I startle you?”

“YES you did! When did you wake up?” Spike asked.

“Just a few seconds ago.” I said.

“Don’t you yawn or make noise when you wake up?” Spike asked.

“Nah, I don’t think it’s all necessary, so I skipped doing all that.” I said.

“Ooook. Well, by the looks of things, it’s either the time machine worked, or my trailer vanished in mid-air.” I looked around and said.

“Well, I don’t see any scrotches, but I do see one of the plastic containers from the Chinese delivery.” Spike pointed to an empty container on the ground.

“Oh, it appears one of the containers has been caught in the beam. This is a good advantage!” I said.

“What do you mean?” Spike asked.

“This is the exact spot my trailer was parked. If we leave this container here, it’ll help us remember where we were when we time traveled.” I said.

“But wait, I don’t see the microwave anywhere. How are we supposed to get back?” Spike asked.

“Well, we can try the long way and let time take its course, and then after you and I traveled back, we return to Ponyville and continue our lives.” I suggested.

“Yeeeeaaaaah, no. I don’t want to spend the next year hiding from my past self.” Spike said.

“Well… we can try looking for another microwave, and find all the stuff we used to make this.” I suggested.

“Well, we’ll get to that later. I want to see Nightmare Moon get defeated in person!” Spike said excitedly.

“Now hold on, buddy.” I stopped him. “We don’t want to create any paradoxes, so-“ just then, next to me, I saw a pair of ducks quacking next to me. “I said paradox, not pair of ducks!” I corrected them.

“See, Bill? Told you!” one of the ducks said to another duck.

“You know I don’t understand pony that well.” Bill said to the first duck as they both flew away.

“Hey what’s that in the sky?” Spike asked as he pointed to something flying down towards Ponyville
.
“Is it a bird? Is it a plane?” I asked.

“No, it’s…… Twilight.” Spike said.

“Hey look there’s you too!” I pointed out. “Wait, if you’re here, and I’m here, and that’s a gray dumpster over there, then who is that?”

“That does look like me with her.” Spike looked.

“Twilight’s with a changeling!” I yelled. “TWILIGHT! RUN! YOU’RE-“

“SHHHHH!” Spike shushed me as he covered my mouth. “You forget! We traveled through time! That is past me with her. If they see me then life as we once knew would seize to exist.”

“Mmmm mmmm mmmm.” I mumbled.

“What was that?” Spike asked as he removed his hand from my mouth.

“I said, mmm mmm mmm.” I mumbled again.

“Oh.” Spike said.

“Also how would you know if life would seize to exist? Maybe the Equestria we live in now is an alternate dimension. Ever thought of that, brah?” I asked.

“Look, I don’t want to start anything dumb, alright? So let’s just blend into the background, and make sure we don’t reveal ourselves to the public.” Spike explained.

“We’re standing in the middle of the street right now.” I reminded him.

“Twilight and past me are coming! Quick, hide!” Spike whispered as he grabbed me and took me behind the Sugarcube Corner wall as we watched the carriage fly down to the street.

“She said to check on preparations. I am her student, and I'll do my royal duty, but the fate of Equestria does not rest on me making friends.” Twilight said.

“Hey look at Big Mac. His cutie mark is sparkling!” I pointed out.

“Shhhh!” Spike shushed me.

“Shhhh!” I shushed him back.

Twilight and past Spike jumped out of the carriage and Twilight said to the Pegasus guards, “Thank you sirs.”

“Maybe the ponies in Ponyville have interesting things to talk about.” Spike said as past Pinkie Pie hops over to Twilight. “Come on, Twilight, just try!”

“Ah the first time we met Pinkie Pie.” Present Spike said.

“Um…. Hello?” Twilight greeted herself to Pinkie Pie. Pinkie gasped loudly and ran away. “Well that was interesting alright.” Twilight said sarcastically.

“Ex dee.” I chuckled.

“Yeah it was a pretty awkward moment. Twilight was a lot different than she is now.” Spike said.

“You’re right about one thing, Spike.” I said.

“And what might that be?” Spike asked.

“This is the first time you met Pinkie.” I said.

“What?” Spike asked.

“Well, dude I feel so happy face right now.” I said.

“Why is that?” Spike asked.

“This is the day Princess Luna redeems herself!” I said.

“I know, it’s pretty exciting, isn’t it?” Spike agreed.

“So when will Luna return?” I asked.

“Tonight at the Summersun Celebration.” Spike said.

“No that’s when Nightmare Moon returns, I’m asking when Luna returns.” I corrected him.

“Oh. She returns later that night… or day, it depends really. I don’t know the exact time, I wasn’t there with them.” Spike explained.

“You know, last year’s celebration was in Mareami. I witnessed the celebration with my own eyes once!” I said.

“I see.” Spike nodded.

“No you don’t see it. You can only do that if you see through time.” I corrected him.

“Speaking of which, do you hear that?” Spike asked.

“Hear what?” I asked.

“That noise.” Spike said. I was quiet for a moment and listened, and I heard a familiar looking noi- I mean, I saw a familiar sounding noi- UGH! I HEARD A FAMILIAR SOUNDING NOISE! Did I say it right? Anyways, out of the blue (no pun intended), I saw a blue telephone box of some sort appearing out of nowhere. A pony that looked a lot like Doctor Whooves walked out of the box, and fell down to the ground.

“Ow! Aww that hurt, it gave me a boo-boo. Oh well. That was certainly an interesting flight. Never had flown like that before.” He said.

“Isn’t that Doctor Whooves?” Spike asked.

“It does.” I said. “We should go help him.”

“But what about paradox’s?” Spike asked.

“Yeah, what about us?” one of the ducks from before asked.

“ParaDOX, not pair of DUCKS!” Spike corrected them.

“Bill, you really need to work on your hearing.” One of the ducks said to the other duck and then they flown away.

“The Doctor is a time traveler. I think he should be safe to talk to.” I said.

“For space and time’s sake, I hope you’re right.” Spike said.

“Sup brah?” I asked as I helped the Doctor up onto his hooves.

“Good day, fellow… umm… horse.” The Doctor said.

“Hello, fellow horse! How are you?” I asked.

“Huh? Oh you must be mistaken, my friend. I’m not a horse. I’m a Time Lord.” The Doctor said.

“Oh, this must be when he first came to Equestria.” Spike said.

“I thought when he first came to Equestria he met Derpy?” I asked.

“Everypony’s got a different point of view of things. Besides, the Doctor can be confusing like that.” Spike said.

“Are you… a dinosaur?” the Doctor asked as he observed Spike.

“A dino-what? I’m a dragon.” Spike corrected him.

“Dragons? Ha! Dragons are only myths.” The Doctor said.

“Maybe where you’re from, but we think otherwise.” Spike said.

The Doctor took a good look at his hooves and his body. “This is pretty strange. I don’t remember regenerating into a horse.”

“Technically speaking, you’re a pony, not a horse.” I corrected him.

“Well technically speaking, all ponies are horses, but not all horses are ponies.” The Doctor corrected me.

“Is that like all Jacuzzis are hot tubs, but not all hot tubs are Jacuzzis?” Spike asked.

“Precisely that!” the Doctor said.

“Learn something new every day, huh brah?” I asked.

“Wow, I’m a pony! That is certainly fascinating. Oh what is this?” the Doctor asked as he looked at his cutie mark.

“That’s your flank tattoo! All ponies have one. It marks what you’re best at!” I explained.

“A tattoo that marks what you’re best at… hmm… fascinating.” The Doctor said.

“And technically it’s called a cutie mark.” Spike said.

“Then why did your friend call it a flank tattoo?” the Doctor asked.

“Cause he’s weird like that.” Spike said.

“He sure is, brah! Wait… who’s he?” I asked.

“Well then, I’d certainly like to explore this new universe I’m witnessing. It’s quite impressive. It’s brilliant!” the Doctor said. Just then, up ahead we see another Doctor Whooves along with Derpy up ahead. “Hey, who’s that over there?”

“Don’t look. That’s just part of another fan-series.” I said. “I have no idea if that’s canon or not, nor do I know if this is canon.”

“I think I might have an idea.” The Doctor said as he steps into his TARDIS and disappears.

“Where do you think he went to?” Spike asked.

“You know, I think its best we forget about all that just happened, and just do something else before nightfall comes.” I suggested.

“I couldn’t agree more.” Spike said. After that discussion, Spike’s tummy started to growl. “We really should’ve eaten that Chinese food before we gone.”

“Well it’s too late for that now, isn’t it?” I asked.

“Flare, I don’t think I can do ANYTHING on an empty stomach. I gotta eat something.” Spike said.

“I don’t think it’ll affect the future if we get some food, but if we drop anything on the floor, I hope you’re prepared to return to the future in another ice age.” I said. We started walking over to find a place to eat to reenergize our strength. Meanwhile, the plastic container that we brought along on our trip started rolling away by itself.

“Wait, I don’t think we should walk around town without some sort of disguise.” I said.

“Why?” Spike asked.

“Well, for one thing, you’re with Twilight right now. If ponies see two of you, they’ll get the wrong idea.” I said.

“So I’ll find something to disguise myself. Why do you need to disguise yourself? You don’t live here yet.” Spike asked.

“But I will, and the time I moved here is the time everypony meets me. Ponyville is a small town, and I think at least some ponies will remember me.” I said.

“So let’s both find something to disguise ourselves.” Spike said.

“Right! Now the real question is: what are we gonna use?” I asked as I thought of what we should use as a clever disguise. But our mission was close to compromised when Pinkie started hoping over to us.

“OH NO, Pinkie!” I whispered. “Quick, hide behind me!”

“Hey!” Spike yelled as I grabbed Spike with my magic and hid him behind my back as I stood on my hind legs.

“Party at the library, tonight at 8!” Pinkie said as she gave me an envelope. “Wow, I never seen you before! You new here too?”

“No, I’ve been here all my life. I don’t even exist! I’ll meet you somewhere in the future.” I said.

Pinkie Pie giggled. “You’re so silly! Bye!” she then hopped away.

“That was a close call. I hope this doesn’t affect the future in anyway.” I said.

“Well… can you put me down now?” Spike asked. I released my magic to get let Spike go. “Thanks. So where we gonna find some disguises?”

“Rarity’s?” I asked.

“Negative. Twilight and I meet with her there later on.” Spike said. “We need to find something else. Got any ideas?”

“Hmmm…” I thought to myself. After several minutes went by, Spike and I exited the costume shop wearing chicken outfits.

“Chickens? Are you serious, Flare?” Spike asked.

“Look on the bright side! Scootaloo’s not alone!” I said.

“What makes you think Scootaloo is a chicken?” Spike asked.

“It’s just a joke Apple Bloom made up, and now the fandom won’t shut up about it.” I said. “Hey you know what day it is today, Spike?” I then started to sing; “It’s fry-day, fry-day! Gotta go to KFC on Fry-day! Lawl lawl lawl lawl lawl!” I laughed.

“Yeah, very funny.” Spike said sarcastically. “Look can we get different costumes?”

“Aw, what’s wrong? You too chicken?” I teased. Spike then glared at me. “Fine, we’ll get the Cow outfit. I hope if we get the cow outfit we’d come from California, because that’s where happy cows come from.”

“No, not a cow outfit. Let’s get a stealth costume. Like a dresser, or a cardboard box.” Spike suggested.

“CARDBOARD BOX!” I yelled excitedly. “I’m gonna be Solid Snake!”

“Yeah, sure, why not? Solid Snake.” Spike nodded. After a few more minutes, Spike and I exited the costume shop wearing cardboard boxes. “Why did we get boxes at a costume shop? We could get boxes anywhere!” Spike asked.

“Because they had different choices of a logo.” I said. “I wanted my box to say ‘Flare’s Pizza Parlor’, and have my logo on it.”

“But your shop doesn’t even exist yet!” Spike reminded me.

“So? It’s something to give everypony a heads-up on the new number one pizza shop in Equestria!” I said.

“Alright, anyways, follow me.” Spike instructed me as I followed him under my own cardboard box.

“It’s too bad you wouldn’t let me get the Solid Snake outfit that comes with this.” I complained. Anyways, I followed Spike for a while, and him and I made our way over to Sweet Apple Acres. I didn’t think we were getting food here. I was just following Spike because… I had nothing better to do. “Where we going, brah?” I asked.

“Sweet Apple Acres. I wanna see something.” Spike said.

“I thought you were hungry?” I asked.

“I am. I just… wanna see this.” Spike said as he hid behind a tree.

“You said quite pacificly that you couldn’t do ANYTHING on an empty stomach.” I reminded him.

“I know, but… wait, did you pacificly?” Spike asked.

“Yeah, that’s pretty much how I said pacific. I can’t… say it the right away.” I said.

“You mean specific?” Spike asked.

“Wow, even you can say it.” I complained.

“Look.” Spike pointed over to Twilight and past Spike meeting AppleJack for the first time.

“Super sneaky ninja Solid Snake style! Ssssssssssss!” I whispered. “Hey Spike, you know what’s better than being invisible?” I asked him. “Being invisiblessed! Because we’re so invisible!”

“Shhhhh!” Spike shushed me. “I’m reliving the past.”

AppleJack starts ringing a triangle and yells, “Soups on everypony!”

“Soup! I less than three soup!” I said excitedly. “As long as it’s not Tomato Soup, or cheese soup.”

“Now, why don't ah introduce y'all to the Apple family?” AppleJack offered as she introduced the family, and they gave Twilight some sweet treats that represent their names; “This here's Apple Fritter. Apple Bumpkin. Red Gala. Red Delicious, Golden Delicious, Caramel Apple, Apple Strudel, Apple Tart, Baked Apples, Apple Brioche, Apple Cinnamon Crisp… Big McIntosh, Apple Bloom and Granny Smith. Up'n'attem, Granny Smith, we got guests.”

“It’s the end of the world as we know it!” I sang.

“Why did you sing that?” Spike asked.

“Because of how the way AppleJack said their names, it kinda sounds like it’s part of the song.” I said.

“Okay, well, I can see the food situation is handled, so we'll be on our way.” Twilight said as she was about to step out, but she was stopped by Apple Bloom.

“Aren’t ya gonna stay for brunch?” Apple Bloom asked in a cute little voice and puppy-dog eyes.

“Awwww! You can’t say no to a face like that, sista.” I whispered. “I’d say yes right away and go HNNNNNNG!”

“Sorry, but we have an awful lot to do...” Twilight said.

“Awwwwwwww.” The Apple family moaned.

“Fine.” Twilight said grumpily, and the Apple family cheered.

“Did you see the apple that was in Twilight's mouth before? First it was green when it was shoved in her mouth, but while she was spitting it out, it was red. Like seriously actually, what was that about?” I asked.

“I don’t know, let’s not worry about that right now. Let’s just stop and think for a second. Once we’re done here, we have to go home, right?” Spike asked.

“Yeah.” I nodded.

“And since the microwave didn’t go with us, we’ll need a new one. So why don’t we find everything we need to make a new time machine, so once we see Nightmare Moon’s defeat, we can just leave.” Spike explained.

“Well, I’d like to see what I missed before I moved here to Ponyville, but for the space time continuum, I wouldn’t wanna mess it up. Just being here is the risk of screwing it all up.” I said.

“Right. So we should find the stuff we need. Let’s look in the barn.” Spike suggested.

“Why the barn? What if AppleJack goes inside?” I asked.

“I’ve lived this before. Ain’t nopony’s going inside that barn.” Spike said.

“Listening to you right now, you sound like an apple!” I teased. So the two of us, still under our cardboard boxes, snuck inside the barn to find the items we needed to make a new time machine. We went inside the kitchen, and looked inside the cabinets for the items we needed. Spike found some fruit, and I found some tinfoil. It was all we could find though, so we needed to make a hasty escape, but before we could go, we saw Winona happily standing in front of us. “Oh jeez!” I said.

“Don’t worry, Flare. Winona seeing us won’t affect the future.” Spike said.

“It’s not that.” I said.

“What is it then?” Spike asked.

“You forget, I’m afraid of… d-d-dogs!” I said as I climbed onto the table.

“Flare, you’re being pathetic. Winona’s harmless. You know that!” Spike reminded me.

“Tinfoil, protect me!” I yelled as I threw a sheet of tinfoil at Winona, and Winona started chewing on it. “Good, that caused a distraction. Now just slowly, walk away, and don’t… look at her. No sudden movements.” I said as I tip-hooved over to the front door with Spike.

“Flare this is ridiculous.” Spike said as he turned his head to Winona.

“Don’t look her!” I said again and he turned his head back towards the door, and then eventually, we finally escaped.

A little while later; Spike and I left Sweet Apple Acres and continued lurking through the Ponyville streets with boxes over our heads. Everypony was looking at us funny as they walked passed us.

“Spike, everypony’s looking at us funny.” I said.

“Well, let them. They don’t know who we are, so the future won’t be affected.” Spike said.

“Has anypony ever said anything about there being cardboard boxes sliding around the street at the same day as the Summer Sun Celebration?” I asked.

“Well, no, but I believe everypony will forget about this soon.” Spike said as a couple of ponies took pictures of us.

“You were saying?” I asked.

“I doubt they’ll be talking about it after this.” Spike said.

“Ha! Cardboard boxes sliding around the street!” Meadow Song laughed.

“I’m gonna remember this forever and talk about it with my friends every day non-stop!” Noteworthy said.

“Well then… maybe they won’t-“ Spike was about to say but I stopped him.

“Don’t, dude. You’re just gonna keep jinxing it.” I said. “Anyways, we need to look for some more supplies. Where else can we look?”

“I’m pretty sure we can find more stuff Sugarcube Corner.” Spike suggested.

“I dunno why we keep going to these places and just steal other’s stuff. Why can’t we just buy them?” I asked.

“Did you bring money with you?” Spike asked.

“No, did you?” I asked.

“Nope, and I’m still hungry.” Spike said.

“Well, can we go to the hardware store anyway?” I asked.

“Sorry, bro, most of the stores are closed today, you know, it’s the Summer Sun Celebration, it’s a holiday.” Spike reminded me.

“Oh, that’s too bad. I really like going to hardware stores!” I said.

A cutaway shows Spike and I heading to the hardware store as the song Hardware Store by Weird Al played in the background; the second verse of the song. The sliding doors opened, and Spike just stood there emotionless, and I was excited and hoping in place. I ran inside and looked at all the isles, running around them, and peeked my head through the top. I was looking at the kitchen cabinets, the fridges, the light fixtures, the paint department, the garden shovels, and when Weird Al sang “Gonna get me a flashlight.” I grabbed a flashlight, turned it on, and shined it inside my ear, and the light went through my head and shined through the other ear. I was also looking at the brooms right after, pretending I’m a witch, and then I started running in a circle with two armfuls of pliers, and then I looked at the hacksaws and I was about to grab it, but Spike grabbed my arm and pulled me away from them.

I started smiling and jumping around the store employees right after, and then I started running around the isles with garden hoses miles long! Right after, I looked at the socket wrenches which were all arranged alphabetically, and then I saw a big purple sign on front that said, ‘Every 27th customer will get a ball pein hammer free’, and luckily, I was the 648th customer today so I got one! I kept running around the isles as the chorus to the song came on, and I started painting, looking at lumber and watching it get cut by one of the Canadian employees, and I even fogged up some of the windows in the window isles and wrote on them, and when Weird Al said, “When are they gonna open up that door.” I opened up one of the doors in the door isle, smiled as I peeked through them. Afterwords, I went over to the crowbars and started chasing a customer wearing a Headcrab hat, and then I ran through the isles again and started throwing tools in the air just so a big shinny pink background would appear in the background as tools slowly rained around me, and my eye pupils were huge and sparkles sparkled all around me as I had my hooves in the air and smiled big as the tools rained around me.

The cutaway ends as I was singing Hardware Store with my eyes closed, “Goin’ hard, I’m goin’ to the hard, oh yes, I’m goin’ to the HARDWARE STOOOOOOORE!”

“FLARE!” Spike yelled.

“WHOA! What?!” I got startled as he snapped me out of it.

“Focus! We should go to Sugarcube Corner to find the rest of the stuff.” Spike suggested.

“Yeah, good idea.” I said.

“Rainbow Dash has got to be the most ridiculous pony I’ve ever met.” Twilight said from the distance.

“Uh oh, I hear me coming. Drop!” present Spike demanded.

“I’m not wearing any pants.” I reminded him.

“No, I mean stop walking. Act like a box!” Spike instructed as we both dropped down as Twilight and past Spike walk by.

“I hope we get this stuff done soon. I need to do my research on Nightmare Moon before it’s too late.” Twilight said.

“We’re close to done, Twilight. We just need to see the decorations at town hall, and then we need to check up on music, and then we’re done.” Past Spike said.

“Hey I’m box, and I do box stuff! Store random junk in me and put me in the attic and forget I even exist.” I said to Twilight and past Spike.

“Really, dude?” present Spike asked.

“Ooooook.” Twilight said as she just awkwardly walked by with past Spike.

“What was that about?” present Spike asked when Twilight and past Spike were far enough away.

“I was acting like a box, like you told me to do.” I reminded him.

“You’re lucky I actually remembered a box talking to me before.” Present Spike said. “Wait, did past Spike say something about checking on decorations?”

“Yep, and music!” I said.

“Umm… slight change of plans, Flare.” Present Spike said.

“Yeah I agree; I’d love to check up on the music as well.” I said.

“No I mean the decorations.” Spike corrected me.

“What’s so good about decorations? We’ll see them tonight.” I reminded him.

“I know, but there’s one thing I have to see real quick, and then we’ll head to Sugarcube Corner.” Spike said.

“Ok, but one thing. I wanna get this stuff done as soon as possible so we can witness Nightmare Moon and then head back to our own time.” I said.

So Spike and I headed down to Town Hall to look at decorations, I suppose. When we got to Town Hall, we hid behind one of the columns on the inside as Rarity was decorating the inside of the building. “Why are we here?” I asked Spike.

“Shhh!” he shushed me.

“I really don’t get what’s the big deal. I see Rarity decorate every time I visit her.” I whispered. Just then, Twilight and past Spike came in and took a look around. “What?! Bro, are you mad? There’s past you and Twilight!”

"Decorations. Beautiful..." past Spike said in an impressed voice.

"Yes, the decor is coming along nicely. This oughtta be quick. I'll be at the library in no time. Beautiful indeed. " Twilight said.

"Not the decor. Her!" past Spike said, starting at Rarity.

"So let me get this straight, you were in love with Rarity just by looking at her? You didn’t fall in love with her because of her personality or soul or something?” I asked.

“I was younger then. I’m now in love with her because of her personality AND her looks!” present Spike said.

“You’re not that much younger.” I said.

"Just a moment, please! I'm 'in the zone', as it were. Oh, yes! Sparkle always does the trick, does it not? Why, Rarity, you are a talent." Rarity said to herself.

"So she talks to herself too, huh? I’m like that all the time.” I said.

“I know, I hear you do that sometimes.” Present Spike said.

“Huh? Oh sorry, I was just talking to myself just now.” I said.

"Oh my stars, darling! Whatever happened to your coiffure?!" Rarity asked in shock after looking at Twilight’s hair.

"Oh my stars? When did she have stars?" I asked.

"Oh, you mean my mane? Well, it's a long story. I'm just here to check on the decorations, and then I'll be out of your hair.” Twilight said.

"Out of my hair? What about your hair?!" Rarity asked as she started to push Twilight out of Town Hall and started taking her to her shop, and past Spike followed.

"Wait! Where are going?! Help!" Twilight yelled.

“Yeah I was meaning to ask, why was Twilight’s mane like that? Was that her style before she moved here?” I asked.

“No, Rainbow Dash did that.” Present Spike said.

“Yeah, Rainbow Dash messed up my mane too once.” I said as I took out my phone to show Spike a picture of me with my mane in a black afro style, and Rainbow Dash was flying next to me with her arm around me, smiling mischievously at the camera.

“I can see why your mane is in that afro shape, but why is it black?” Spike asked.

“It was on fire and it was crispy. My hair was as hard as a rock, and I barely stood, my hair was so heavy.” I said.

“And when was this?” Spike asked.

“Last week.” I said.

“How did you grow your hair back so fast?” Spike asked.

“Look, can we just go to Sugarcube Corner to get the supplies we need? I don’t wanna miss Pinkie’s party.” I asked.

“Good idea. I just wanted to be here to see me fall in love with Rarity all over again.” Spike said.

“Sounds cute, but are we done here?” I asked.

“Yeah, I saw what I needed to see.” Spike said.

“Alright good, let’s go.” I said as the two of us went out the door and headed over to Sugarcube Corner.

While we were walking to Sugarcube Corner with the boxes still over our heads, Spike and I had a little conversation before we got there. "Wow. Twilight seems to be more annoyed now than next year." I thought.

"Well she had nopony besides me or her brother to be friends with." Spike said.

"Wow. Same thing with me. I didn't have any real friends back at Mareami, just my family, my fish, my gaming systems, and my teddy bears.” I said.

“And you STILL sleep with teddy bears.” Spike reminded me.

“No I don’t! I only sleep with one: Beary.” I corrected him. "Before, I slept with Beary, Bear, Teddy, Fuzzy, I-Care-Teddy Bear, and Striper... he's a zebra. Not the Zecora type of zebra though."

“Wait a minute, something doesn’t feel right.” Spike said as we walked towards Sugarcube Corner.

“Yeah, I agree. The streets are abandoned. What’s up with that?” I asked.

“Because everypony is at Twilight and I’s welcoming party.” Spike said.

“So why do you look so concerned if you know where everypony in town is?” I asked.

“Because… I don’t see the plastic container anywhere.” Spike said.

“What plastic container?” I asked.

“You remember, the one that followed us through time?” Spike reminded me.

“Still no ding-ding.” I said.

“How can you be so forgetful?” Spike asked.

“Us Guns aren’t the brightest ponies around. We sometimes get short-term memory loss.” I said.

“If it wasn’t for Finding Nemo, you wouldn’t know what that meant.” Spike said as he walked up to the front door of Sugarcube Corner.

“I sooooo would’ve known!” I corrected him.

“No you wouldn’t.” Spike corrected me.

“Yeah, I wouldn’t.” I agreed. "The Cakes really need to lock their doors. Everypony around here trusts each other too much."

"Well welcome to Ponyville, my friend! It wasn't that way in Canterlot though. Everything was too… secure." Spike said as he started to open the door slowly, but I stopped him.

“Wait! This is too easy. Knowing Pinkie Pie…” I stopped and thought for a second. I then kicked the door open, and a bucket full of liquid dropped on the floor and spilled all over the place. “This is a burglar alarm? A bucket of water? Heh! This is too easy!” I then sniffed the air for a second because something smelled funny. “Wait a minute, this isn’t water, this is… GAS?!”

“Uh oh.” Spike said as his stomach started to rumble funny, and he then burped up some fire which caused the area to explode. Spike and I ran inside the kitchen, all burned up, but when we got inside, another bucket of gas fell from the kitchen door and exploded as well. Spike and I just stood there all burned up, and then I coughed up some smoke shaped like an O. “What are you smoking, man?” Spike teased.

“Spike, let’s just look for the stuff we need before I punched you in the stomach.” I said calmly but angrily.

“I have no idea where that burp came from. I haven’t even eaten all day!” Spike said. So we searched the kitchen for the items we need like eggs, veggies, sponges, plastic containers, and some spaghetti sauce.

“Wow, this is new. There’s spaghetti sauce in the fridge.” I said.

“How is that new?” Spike asked.

“Spaghetti sauce in a bakery, how can that be? This place sells cookies, cakes, and donuts, not pasta, parmesans, or pizzas.” I pointed out.

“Well then, traveling through time does give out some interesting discoveries, doesn’t it?” Spike asked.

“Now the only things we need is a microwave and some fine china.” I said.

“There’s a microwave right there on the counter, so let's unplug it and we can use it." Spike said as he started walking over to it.

"No, wait.” I stopped him. "If we take the microwave, it might cause a time para-“

“Why did you stop?” Spike asked as I looked around.

“Parado- oh c’mon!” I complained as the ducks from before showed up again.

“We know what you’re saying. We’re just aggravating you now.” One of the ducks said snarky.

"You’re right. The Cakes may use this microwave again, and if they see it missing, well… I’m not sure what’ll happen, but it doesn’t sound good.” Spike said.

“We need to find a microwave that nopony’s gonna use anymore.” I said.

"So what are we going to do now genius?" Spike asked. I observed the microwave pretty closely, and I saw a microwave box on the floor that looks like it was just opened recently. The microwave’s clock isn’t even set, which gave me an idea.

"This is a new microwave." I said. "Maybe we can find the old one and use that."

"What makes you so sure that the microwave isn't already at the dump?" Spike asked.

“This microwave is BRAND new. I’m thinking this microwave we’re after might be outside in the dumpster.” I assumed. Spike and I then ran outside to find the microwave which was sitting next to the garbage cans. "See? Told ya! Winky face! Who's awesome! Flare is! Zoom be boop!" I taunted him.

"So all that leaves is fine china.” Spike said.

“Right, I’ll get us some tickets to the next flight to China.” I said.

“Ooo ooo, wait! I think I know where to find some fine china!” Spike said excitedly.

“Ooo ooo, wait! Why are you so excited about it?!” I asked excitedly.

“You know, you always ruin my moods when you do that.” Spike said as his excitement suddenly disappeared.

“That’s what you get for hanging with me, brah. I’m supposed to be the most excited one in the group. Except Crystal never seems to listen and becomes more excited than me anyway.” I said.

“Alright, whatever. Anyways, I think I know where to get some fine china without it affecting the future.” Spike said.

“What happened to your excitement? I was enjoying that.” I asked as Spike then looked at me annoyingly and I smiled at him.

"As I was saying, I think we can find some fine china over at the castle Twilight and the others are going to later.” Spike said.

“What makes you think there’s china over there?” I asked.

“It’s an old castle, why wouldn’t there be?” Spike asked.

“By old castle to you mean that senior citizens live there?” I asked.

“Are you trying to be funny? Because it ain’t really working on me right now.” Spike said.

“Are you trying to hate on me? Because love and tolerance is necessary right now.” I said. “Remember love and tolerance, Spike? The code that brings all of us together? You remember?”

"Don't say, 'Lawl remember Spike'." Spike demaned.

"I wasn't. Why does everypony think I'm gonna say that all the time?" I asked.

“So now that we got almost everything for our time machine, how about we have some fun for a bit?” Spike asked as he put the microwave and all the stuff inside a sack and placing it on my back.

“You said you and Twilight are having a party at the library tonight, correct?” I asked.

“Yeah, why?” Spike asked.

“And everypony in town is there, right?” I asked.

“Yeah.” Spike nodded.

“So how about… we get a forklift, go to Sweet Apple Acres, pick up some trees, and go around town to stuff the trees in everypony’s homes? It’ll be hilarious! It wouldn’t be Ponyville anymore; it would be Sweet Ponyville Acres, or Appleville, or maybe even Coothertown!” I suggested.

“Or we can just go to the party.” Spike suggested.

“Noooo! Past you is there!” I reminded him.

“We got the box disguises though.” Spike reminded me.

“You think that’ll be enough?” I asked.

“Trust me, I know we won’t regret it, not like when I regret opening that email Pinkie Pie got me that contained a virus.” Spike said.

A cutaway shows Spike checking his email on his computer. “Oh would you look at that, an email from Pinkie. Instructions on how to get a mare to like you and how to collect unlimited gems, click on this link to learn more? That doesn’t sound suspicious at all!” Spike said excitedly as he clicked on the link inside the email, and once it popped up, his computer screen got infected with the blue screen error. “Darn it, Pinkie!” he complained, but after that, an error message popped up in the middle of the blue screen and it said, “An error occurred whist trying to load the application, ‘bluescreen.exe’”, and then another error popped up saying, “An error occurred whilst trying to load the previous error”, and then Clippy showed up at the bottom right and he said, “Hey, it looks like you’re having an error!” Spike’s jaw dropped; “Oh c’mon! I’m on Windows Vista! Clippy is not even on that!” he complained. And from that day forward, this type of virus is well known as the Pinkie Pie virus. The cutaway ends.

A few minutes later, we showed up at the welcoming party at Twilight’s future home while wearing our box disguises. We started sliding inside as everypony was having a good time. Twilight was nowhere in sight though. "Hello everypony! Nothing to see here! Just a couple of walking boxes! Lion face." I yelled out.

"Real smooth, Flare." Spike said.

"Hi boxes!" Pinkie Pie hopped to us and said. "I don't remember inviting boxes to the party, but who cares! Everypony is invited! Even objects! Please enjoy some punch!"

"Oh no thanks. I don't like violence." I said.

Pinkie Pie giggled. "Not that kind of punch, silly! Take a drink! It's really good!" Pinkie then placed some punch glasses on top of our boxes.

“Thanks, sista!” I said as I grabbed my punch with my magic and let it float inside so I can drink it.

"Don't mention it!" Pinkie squeed as she smiled.

"Okay I won't.” I teased.

"Enjoy the party!" Pinkie said as she hopped away.

Just then, past Spike accidently runs into the box with present Spike in it, but he didn't knock it over, and past Spike didn’t know who was inside. "Hey, watch where you're going!" present Spike complained.

"Oh sorry about that, dude." Past Spike said.

"Don't worry about it, just walk away." Present Spike instructed.

"Oh.... okay, Mister Box." Past Spike said. "You know, you kinda sound familiar."

"Just walk away, bro." present Spike instructed him.

"Wow, rude.” Past Spike commented as he walked away.

"Phew! That was a close." Present Spike said.

"Your box is too close… to me. Move over." I demanded. "Oh hey look! It's Derpy! I can tell because she's cross-eyed, and this is the first time everypony as noticed her like that!"

Many hours went by. Everypony was partying it out while Twilight was laying down in her bedroom. Soon it was 4 AM, one hour until the sun rises.
"...and you know what else he said?" I asked a group of ponies, telling a story about my past. "Wanna buy a couple of pancakes with that?" The group of ponies started to laugh.

"Oh, Box number one, you're so funny!" Golden Harvest commented.

“Box number 1? Who elected you box number 1?” present Spike asked.

“I did, but you can be Box A if you want.” I offered.

"So can you reveal yourself now?" Merry May asked. “We’re soooo interested in seeing you!”

"I told you, sista! If I showed you who I was, it'll completely mess up time!" I said, and then the group of ponies laughed again.

"That joke gets funnier every time you say it!" Merry May said.

“Yeah, joke, sure.” I nodded.

"Tell us that story about you being Jeff Gorspeed's crew chief again!" Cloud Kicker requested.

"Hold on to yourselves, ladies!" I said, trying to calm the ponies down. "I only tell stories once in a summer sun. But I will tell you the story about my fish, Piddles; thinking his reflection is another fish!"

"Hey everypony! The summer sun celebration is about to start! We should get there early if we wanna see it!" AppleJack called out. Everypony started cheering as they started started running to city hall.

"Alright, is the coast clear? Do we still need these boxes?" present Spike asked before Twilight and past Spike walked by.

"I have to still look up information about Nightmare Moon's return!" Twilight said angrily.

"Then why didn't you search it before?" past Spike asked.

"Everypony was being too loud!" Twilight yelled. "I can't think with all that racket! Now, because of Pinkie Pie's party, we're late for the celebration!"

"But the celebration doesn't start for another 58 minutes." Past Spike reminded her.

"Well, we'll see who's the crazy one now, after everypony sees the return of Nightmare Moon!" Twilight said as they both reached the exit of the library and shut the door.

"Can I take off my disguise now? I need to stretch my legs.” Present Spike said as he stood up and threw the box off from over his head, and the punch glass that was on top of the box spilled on the floor. “Flare, why didn’t you tell me there was a punch glass on my box?”

“I thought you knew? I didn’t think you were in the mood for punch and I thought you just left it there?” I assumed.

“Oh that punch was mine? I thought I was being used as a table.” Spike assumed.

“So, you enjoying this so far?” I asked.

“Despite the fact that we have to keep laying low, this is pretty fun.” Spike said.

“Good! As long as we have our time machine with us, and making sure nopony knows who we are, and we see Nightmare Moon face-to-face, nothing will go wrong!” I said.

“I wish you wouldn’t say that, bro. I’m starting to think that there’s something else within all this.” Spike said.

“Well, let’s just head to town hall before all the seats get taken.” I suggested as I walked towards the door.

“There aren’t any seats though.” Spike corrected me as he followed.

“Whatever, we get to see Luna in her former glory!" I said excitedly.

"You do know she's evil, she's not the Luna you know and dear." Spike reminded me.

"Cool story, bro. Why don't you make a novel about it?" I teased.

"Flare I'm serious!" Spike yelled.

"Really? I thought you were Spike? LAWL!" I teased. "Oh no wait, I’m sorry, you’re Box A!”

"Just wipe that grin off your face and listen to me!” Spike demanded.

"I will not wipe this grin off my face. But I will listen to you, brah." I said.

"Look. Nightmare Moon is dangerous." Spike explained. "She will not hesitate to see ponies suffer. She will not hesitate to harm.”

"Look, don't worry, brah! We'll be outta the way! As long as we don't change time, Twilight and her friends will be able to defeat her without any worry. Just relax. Let's head over there and see everypony's favorite princess return!” I suggested.

“Just don’t screw this up.” Spike instructed as we both put back on our box disguises and headed on over to city hall to see the Summer Sun Celebration. It was almost five, and the sun was about to rise.

Meanwhile, over at Carousel Boutique, Rarity’s cat Opalescence was sleeping on her little bed, nice and cozy, but her coziness gets interrupted as Opal hears a strange noise coming from the doorway. Opal observes the room to see if anypony was there, but there wasn’t another soul. As Opal returns to sleep, the noise continues, which awakes Opal again. Opal starts to get fussy and places her pillow over her head because she doesn’t want to be disturbed. On the other side of the room reveals the plastic container that traveled through time with us, rolling across the floor towards the plastic manikin (or in this case ponikins) on the other side of the room, and the container drops right next to one of them. The plastic container starts to glow, and the glow gets transferred to the nearest plastic ponikin and it’s head starts to move.

"Alright we're here!" Spike said as we made it to town hall to witness the Summer Sun Celebration.

"Hey, when Twilight turned on the lights in her house, and everypony yelled 'SURPRISE', did you notice that yellow spot on the floor next to Derpy?" I asked.

"Fillies and gentlecolts, as mayor of Ponyville, it is my great pleasure to announce the beginning of the Summer Sun Celebration!" Mayor Mare said up on the stage. "In just a few moments, our town will witness the magic of the sunrise, and celebrate this, the longest day of the year! And now, it is my great honor to introduce to you the ruler of our land, the very pony who gives us the sun and the moon each and every day, the good, the wise, the bringer of harmony to all of Equestria...."

"Hey look, Pinkie's front legs are missing." I pointed out.

".... Princess Celestia!" the Mayor cried as the curtain opens, but Celestia wasn't there. Everypony gasped in shock. "Remain calm, everypony! There must be a reasonable explanation!"

"Ooo ooo, I love guessing games! Is she hiding?" Pinkie asked as she observed the area.

"She's gone!" Rarity said as everypony gasped again.

"Oooooo she's good!" Pinkie said I said at the same time.

“You two jinxed it!" Spike pointed out as a strange cloud appears on the balcony, and then a few moments, Nightmare Moon appears on the balcony where Celestia is supposed to be. Everypony gasped again, and then Spike faints.

"LAWL LAWL LAWL LAWL!" I laughed. "You fainted after you saw her? You're such a baby, Spike!"

"At least I didn't wet myself like you." Present Spike said.

"What makes you think.... " I looked down. "Oh right. Embarrassed face."

"Oh, my beloved subjects. It's been so long since I've seen your precious, little sun-loving faces." Nightmare Moon said.

“You know what’s weird? I see Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo together, cuddling towards eachother in fright over there, but this was before they met.” Spike pointed out.

Nightmare Moon chuckles and said, "Why, am I not royal enough for you? Don't you know who I am?"

"Ooh, ooh, more guessing games! Um, Hokey Smokes! How about... Queen Meanie! No! Black Snooty, Black Snooty!" Pinkie guessed.

"Does my crown no longer count now that I have been imprisoned for a thousand years? Did you not recall the legend? Did you not see the signs?" Nightmare asked.

"I did.” Twilight yelled out bravery. “And I know who you are. You're the Mare in the Moon – Night Mare Moon!"

"Well well well, somepony who remembers me. Then you also know why I'm here." Nightmare assumed.

"You're here to... to..." Twilight stuttered.

"Remember this day, little ponies, for it was your last. From this moment forth, the night will last forever!" Nightmare cried out as a cloud of blue smoke swirled around Nightmare’s hair and she lets out an evil laugh.

"Who you calling little?! I’m a big!” I corrected her, but of course she didn’t hear me.

“I gotta say; this is more of an event crasher than Phoenix Wright at a wedding.” Spike commented.

A cutaways shows a random wedding for two random ponies nopony has heard of before nor seen, but pretty much the only one that mattered there was Phoenix Wright sitting in the audience. “Do you random bride take random groom to be your awfully wedded husband, to love, respect, cuddle with, and do anything to keep him happy as long as he puts the toilet seat down?” the priest asked.

“I do.” The bride agreed.

“And do you random groom, take random bride to be your awfully wedded wife, to love, respect, cuddle with, and do anything to keep her happy as long as she gives you a sandwich whenever you feel like it?” the priest asked.

“For sure!” the groom agreed.

“You have to say ‘I do’, that’s the rule.” The priest corrected him.

“Fine, I do.” The groom said with an attitude.

“Now if there’s anypony here object to this wedding, speak now, or forever hold your peace.” The priest said.

Phoenix Wright then stood up and was about to yell ‘I object’, but the mare he was with said, “Don’t even think about it, Phoenix.”

“Oh.” Phoenix said depressingly as he sat back down. The cutaway ends.

Meanwhile back at Carousel Boutique, one of the ponikins pulled the pole that kept it standing up off of its stomach and threw it aside. Opal still had her pillow over her head, so she didn’t hear a thing. The plastic ponikin crouched down to the container it traveled in, and opened it, and inside the container was a ball that flashes pink, and makes a sound similar to a telephone ringing. “The time has come to rise once again, my great old friend. It is time we took over this new world, and no one will be able to stop us! The Autons have… returned.” The plastic dummy said.

TO BE CONTINUED....

Author's Note

The replacement to the first part of Flare Through Time. As you may know, the beginning has changed from Flare's trailer to Flare's Pizza Parlor. It originally started as Flare listening to the Trololo song on his computer, and then Flare and Spike start fighting and Flare uses his SHOOP DA WHOOP on his microwave to travel back in time. Despite of the story's stupidity, that type of stupidity ain't that funny, the current one right now is! Also I took out some scenes and replaced them, for example, Spike and Flare were suppose to follow the Mane Six the whole time, but it's no longer the case. Now Flare Through Time has it's own story, continuing onto part 2! :D

Flare Through Time - Part 2

In case you were too lazy to check back at the last chapter for the story in part 1, you’re gonna have a rough time here at part 2. In case you forgot what happens, here’s what happens: back at Chapter 15, when Spike and I wanted to be on the cover for the Most Stupidest Stunts magazine, the two of us made a time machine out of a microwave using tinfoil, fruits, veggies, fine china, eggs, boiling water, spaghetti sauce, plastic, and sponges - the things you SHOULDN’T put in the microwave. With it, we traveled back to the Summer Sun Celebration, and the night of Nightmare Moon’s return, and the first time Twilight and Spike set hoof in Ponyville. We went to this time because Spike wanted to witness the defeat of Nightmare Moon, but without affecting the timeline and causing paradoxes. Unknowningly, a plastic container from the Chinese food we got before we traveled in time followed us, and now it’s in Carosuel Boutique, making her plastic manikins (or ponikins as I call them) come to life. Is this the work of Nightmare Moon, or… is this the work of something even greater? Let’s find out now…

Nightmare Moon lets out an evil laugh while everypony was in fear. "Seize her! Only she knows where the Princess is!" Mayor Mare cried out.

The royal guards start charging towards Nightmare. "Stand back, you fools!" she yelled as she disappears, and then a cloud of blue smoke starts flying away, and Rainbow Dash started to chase her.

"Come back here!" Rainbow yelled.

"This is sooooo awesome!" Spike said excitedly. "I'm here to witness the Summer Sun Celebration, and the return of Nightmare Moon! Somepony pinch me!"

Just then I punched Spike in the back. "OW! Why did you do that?!" Spike asked.

"You said punch me." I said.

"I said pinch me!" Spike corrected me.

"Oh, okay!" I said as I started pinching him.

"Ow! Ow! Stop that!” Spike complained.

“Kay kay.” I said as I stopped. “I’ll tell you something, brah, this is some weird stuff we got ourselves into, almost as weird as Big Comfy Couch.”

A cutaway shows Loonette hoping back to her couch from the clock carpet. “Alright, got back from the clockwork stretch! I no longer feel achy and filled with morning pains anymore, like Charlie horses!” Loonette then looked at the camera and said. “You know what a Charlie Horse is? It’s when you get a very bad pain on your leg if you wake up sleeping on it something. You wanna hear more about pains?”

“Here’s an interesting thought about pains.” Sheldon Cooper started. “You have talking dust bunnies under your bed. Have you ever considered cleaning them up? Because they can make you really sick.”

“Sheldon? What are you doing here?” Loonette asked.

“Every Saturday morning 8 PM, I pour myself a bowl of cereal, sit at this end at this very couch, turn on BBC America and watch Doctor Who.” Sheldon said.

“Sheldon, I’m having my show now.” Loonette reminded Sheldon.

Sheldon was quiet for a second, and then he said; “Every Saturday morning at 8 PM, I pour myself a bowl of cereal, sit at this end-“

“Here’s another painful thought.” Loonette said to the camera. “Having an annoying roommate. That can be very painful, cause you get so mad!”

“Who are you talking to Loonette, you know fairly well your show is cancelled; not to mention you’re a full grown adult with random toys in her couch, and talks to a doll, and sleeps in her clothes, I’m surprised you’re not in a mental institution.” Sheldon explained.

“QUIET! I’m a clown, and I make everyone laugh!” Loonette yelled.

“Yes, people laugh for your stupidity.” Sheldon corrected her.

“Molly, you think we should let Sheldon move out?” Loonette asked her doll. Molly nodded.

“Quit encouraging her, Bob Stutt. You’re an evil mastermind that makes people go crazy. Just look at what you did to the kids that watch Canadian Sesame Street.” Sheldon said to the man behind the couch.

“Quit ruining people’s childhoods, Sheldon.” Bob demanded.

“I’m not ruining people’s childhoods! I’m just stating facts, is all. You’re the ones ruining people’s childhoods by lying to them.” Sheldon corrected him.

“I’m so gonna lose it!” Loonette said. And from that day forward, Sheldon was afraid of clowns, and was the main reason why he moved to Pasadena. The cutaway ends.

"So what do we do now?” I asked.

"I say we should head to the library and follow the girls to Nightmare Moon’s castle.” Spike said.

“Won’t you be there?” I asked.

"I was asleep the whole time.” Spike said. "But this time is different! I'm not tired this-" Just then Spike fell over and went to sleep on my lap. This felt a bit cute at first and I felt that I didn’t want to bother him, but it looked like he was about to droll so I used my water squirter spell to wake him up. “Whoa, whoa! What?!”

“You were about to droll on my leg.” I said.

“I don’t droll!” Spike yelled. “… Much.”

“You’re not sleeping. I’m not doing this without you.” I demanded. “We’re gonna stay up all night, and watch-“ Just then I fell over and fell asleep on Spike’s lap.

After a little while Spike and I caught up with the Mane Six over at the library. Spike just got out of the bedroom tucking in past Spike and she started searching her books for answers. Present Spike and I were hiding under our box disguises on the other side of the room as we watched Twilight spasing out. "I'm getting tired of these stupid box disguises!" I complained.

"Well too bad. We need them, man.” Spike explained. "If we get caught, it can mess up time.”

“I’m willing to take that chance.” I said.

“No you’re not.” Spike corrected me

“Yeah, I’m not.” I agreed.

"Elements, elements, elements... Ugh! How can I stop Night Mare Moon without the Elements of Harmony?!” Twilight freaked out.

"And just what are the Elements of Harmony?" Rainbow Dash asked Twilight in a threatening tone. "And how did you know about Night Mare Moon, huh? Are you a spy?!"

"No, if she were a spy, she’d have more a French accent, she’d be backstabbing snipers, sappin’ sentries, and wearing a hot ski-mask in an open desert without getting sweaty.” I explained.

"Simmer down, Sally." AppleJack stopped Rainbow, holding her tail. "She ain't no spy. But she sure knows what's going on. Don't you, Twilight?" AppleJack asked Twilight as everypony started to look at her.

“That’s the second time I saw AppleJack bite Rainbow’s tail.” I commented.

"I read all about the prediction of Night Mare Moon." Twilight started. "Some mysterious objects called the Elements of Harmony are the only things that can stop her, but I don't know what they are, where to find them, I don't even know what they do!" Just then, I took a remote control out of the box I was in, pressed a button on it, and then the Mane Six started talking and moving around really fast.

“What are you doing?” Spike asked.

“This is boring, I’m fast-forwarding ahead.” I said.

“Won’t that affect the timeline?” Spike asked.

“Relax, they’re still talking normally in their own point of view.” I said.

“What about in other’s points of view?” Spike asked.

“Who else is in here besides us?” I asked.

A cutaway shows some little girls watching My Little Pony on TV, and they looked confused on what’s going on because everything looked like it was fast-forwarding. “Amy, did you sit on the remote again?” one of the girls asked.

“We’re watching live TV, how can I be fast-forwarding that?” Amy asked.

“I’m loving this show, sis! I should brag about it on 4chan, and tell them about that cross-eyed pony that’s barely noticeable in the background.” An adult man said, standing up next to the couch and drinking soda. “Maybe I’ll start a new community about men watching My Little Pony. But what shall be a good name for our group?”

“How about bronies?” Amy suggested.

“No, that’s silly. I’m actually thinking of Mare-Men. That’s an awesome name!” the guy said. The cutaway ends.

"Alright the coast is clear, you can turn off fast-forwarding now." Spike said.

After I pressed play on the remote and we removed our box disguises, I corrected Spike by saying, "But we're not at the beach."

“Why would say that?” Spike asked.

“You said the coast was clear.” I reminded him.

Spike just stared at me emotionless for a few seconds and then he finally said, “So anyways, how about Nightmare Moon?”

“What about her?” I asked.

“Aren’t we gonna see the girls use the Elements of Harmony on her?” Spike asked.

“But Twilight says she doesn’t know where to find them or what they do. We plenty of time!” I said.

“She said she discovers them just as Nightmare Moon gets defeated.” Spike said.

“You know, throughout this whole time trip, it’s all been about you. How about I do something I want for a change?” I asked.

“I don’t even know when Nightmare Moon gets defeated, so I’d rather follow them to the castle before it’s too late.” Spike explained.

“Look at you, Mr. Bigshot! You know what I wanna do first? I wanna suggest opening a Cheesecake Factory in Ponyville, because when I move here, I don’t wanna keep bragging about it.” I said.

“Trust me, Flare. If not Cheesecake Factory, you’ll always have something else to brag about.” Spike said.

“You’re right about that, but at least it wouldn’t be about Cheesecake Factory.” I said.

“What do you think would be next?” Spike asked.

“Probably P.F. Changs.” I said.

“The only expensive Chinese restaurant.” Spike said.

“Free for you probably. Chinese ponies respect you.” I said.

“It’s mostly Equestrian ponies that run the most famous Chinese restaurants.” Spike corrected me.

"It’s ironic is it not?” I asked.

“We’re getting a little off topic right now. The girls are gonna head into the Everfree Forest in a bit to hunt for Nightmare Moon.” Spike said.

“You know, the Everfree Forest wasn’t always the Everfree Forest, it used to be old Canterlot, but then Discord created magic seeds before he was imprisoned, and they didn’t grow until Nightmare Moon’s banishment, and once Celestia knew what was happening, they moved the location to the mountains up ahead.” I explained.

“Hey, Flare? You remember when you said Twilight was full of words and saying things you already knew?” I asked.

“Yeah?” I nodded.

“I think some of it is rubbing off you.” Spike said.

“So you’re saying I’m a bookworm now?” I asked.

“No I was saying you kept stating the obvious. Trust me, if you hung with Twilight as long as I have, you tend to know EVERYTHING about the history of Equestria.” Spike said.

“Is that why you don’t go to school? Because you already know this stuff?” I asked.

“I’m mama’s little genius.” Spike said.

“No wonder the Chinese like you.” I said.

Meanwhile over at Carousel Boutique, Opal was thrown in her cat cage by one of the ponikins that came to life. “There we go! You can’t hurt anyone in there!” the ponikin said to Opal. Opal started hissing and screeching as she started shaking about the cage. It startled the ponikin but it didn’t freak it out. “Now then, it is time to start phrase 2 of my plan, great old friend. Soon we’ll be able to take over this new land, with our army of Autons!” the ponikin said as eight ponikins from Rarity’s shop started walking towards their leader. “Now we have no idea what this town is like, but these four-legged creatures may not show mercy, shoot first, and ask questions after lunch! Because if we eat lunch first, it’ll get our minds re-energized for negotiation. Now hold out!” the leader ordered his minions as they all started marching out of the Boutique.

So once Spike and I were finished wasting our time at the library, we met up with the Mane Six over at Everfree. “Ok, girls, we’re gonna say it together, alright? 1… 2… 3…” Pinkie started.

“The Everfree Forest?!” the Mane Six all cried out at the same time.

“Alright, see? We made it just in time!” I said.

“Are you sure we should go in there?” Spike asked frighteningly. “Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.”

“Oh don’t ridiculous, brah! We’ve been in there once before, and a crazy zebra lives in there, and she survives well. Come to think of it, all the ponies I see go in there always come out, so don’t think it’s THAT dangerous.” I explained.

"Zecora isn’t THAT crazy." Spike said. "She knows alot more than us."

“So you think she’s crazy in general.” I said.

“That’s not what I said.” Spike said

“You said Zecora isn’t THAT crazy, which means you still find her crazy.” I corrected him.

Spike was silent for a moment and thought to himself. “Ok, I find her crazy.” He admitted.

“Look brah, we should be fine, as long as we don't run into any of those ligers again, we should be fine; or Timberwolves, or lions, or tigers, or bears, oh my, and let's definitely hope we don't run into antelopes with night vision goggles! Those guys are annoying!" I said.

A cutaway gag shows two antelopes with night vision goggles in the forest, hiding in tall grass, in the middle of the night, seeing a lion up ahead. "Oh no, look who's back!" the first antelope said annoyed.

"Again?" the second antelope asked.

"It's embarrassing."

"It's embarrassing!"

"We can see you, Carl!" one of the antelopes said to the lion.

"We can totally see you!"

"C'mon, you're better than this! You're the king of the jungle!"

"Have you thought about going vegan, Carl?"

Just then the lion starts walking away, and the antelopes start laughing. Just then, two guitar ponies were up on a stage in another section of the tall grass, and one says; "You know, Ronnie; folks who save hundreds of dollars switching to Geico, sure are happy!"

"And how happy are they, Jimmy?" the other guitar pony asked.

"Happier than an antelope with night vision goggles!" Jimmy said.

"Nice!" Ronnie nodded.

Just then they both start playing their guitars, and a voice in the background says; "Get happy, get Geico! 15 minutes, can save you 15% or more!" The cutaway ends.

"Well I wasn't worried about them before, but now am I." Spike said. Then they see the Mane 6 up ahead, about to enter the forest.

"Especially if there's candy apples in there!" Pinkie said excitedly. "What? Those things are good!" Pinkie then skips inside the forest, and Twilight lets out a sigh and follows them.

"Oh did you see AppleJack while she was walking inside the forest? Her freckles were missing." I pointed out.

"Yeah, and Rainbow Dash's tail was missing too." Spike pointed out. "What's going on here? What's causing that?"

"That's a mystery we can solve another day, bro! But for now, we must catch up with them, without them seeing us." I said.

“I remember during the Meteor Shower, the night Twilight met Owlowiscious, when Rainbow Dash ate an apple, and then Scootaloo said she’d do anything for Rainbow, the apples turns into a core-“ Spike snaps his fingers. “Just like that! Seen that cliché like that a lot during my time in Ponyville.”

“Yeah, cool story bro.” I said sarcastically. Just then, before we were able to step inside Everfree, we heard some screaming back in Ponyville. “You hear that?”

“Do I hear the screaming? No I don’t.” Spike said sarcastically.

“Why wouldn’t you be able to hear that? Are you deef or something?” I asked.

“Deef?” Spike asked.

“Yeah, deef.” I said.

“You mean deaf, right?” Spike corrected me.

“No, because that word sounds too close to ‘death’, I prefer ‘deef’.” I said. “So are you deef? You didn’t hear that scream?”

“I was being sarcastic, Flare!” Spike corrected me.

“Holy Wizard of Strength! I just can’t tell the difference can I?” I asked.

“You should remember this stuff, Flare.” Spike reminded me.

“Lawl I remember, Spike.” I said.

“You have to do that every time?” Spike asked.

“Lawl I don’t do this every time, only the times when you least expect it.” I corrected him. Just then we heard the screaming again. “Is that scream supposed to happen?” I asked.

“I’m not sure. I was asleep during this time.” Spike said.

“We should go check it out.” I suggested.

“But what about Nightmare Moon’s defeat?” Spike asked.

“Yeah, yeah, we’ll get to that. I wanna see this first.” I said as I started running back into town to see what the fuss is about; Spike sighed and followed along. When we ran back to town, something strange was going on here, because plastic window shop dummies started attacking the town. They had little blasters coming out of their hooves and started shooting everywhere, but luckily these dummies have bad aim, and nopony was hit, but the town is facing minor damage.

“Ok, I know Nightmare Moon had a lot of tricks up her sleeve, trust me Twilight told me, but this… I don’t remember this happening!” Spike said.

“Holy Wizard of Hope!” I gasped.

“What type of sorcery did Nightmare Moon do?!” Spike yelled.

“This isn’t Nightmare Moon’s doing, Spike, these are Autons!” I said.

“Autons?” Spike asked.

“Plastic window shop dummies come to life by a Great Old One; sending signals using little flashing balls that ring like a telephone; the first enemy the Third Doctor and the Ninth Doctor faced.” I explained.

“Oh so this is Doctor House, right?” Spike asked.

I just silently glared at him for a few seconds, and then I let out a, “Get out!” So Spike and I hid behind a building and watched the Autons attacking the town. “We have to do something about this. I don’t think this is part of this timeline.” I said.

“I wouldn’t know. I was asleep the whole time.” Spike said.

“We have to defeat the Autons somehow, and by doing that, I believe we need to find a flashing ball that sounds like a telephone ring.” I said.

“And where can we find something like that?” Spike asked.

“I dunno! Where are the window shop dummies coming from?” I asked.

“How should I know? Ponikins can be seen all around town! It’s full of clothing stores!” Spike said.

“We have to find the right clothing store.” I said. “The faster we get this done-“

“The faster we can watch Nightmare Moon’s defeat.” Spike said.

“Actually I was gonna say, ‘the faster we get some churros’, but right, that’s the main reason why we’re here.” I said.

“Churros does sound good though.” Spike said.

“Yes, churros do sound good! We’ll get some right after the Autons and we’ll eat them as we watch Nightmare’s defeat.” I said.

“So meet back here in a few?” Spike asked.

“With the churros!” I added.

“Got it!” Spike nodded. So the two of us split up to find the relay signal that brought these ponikins to life. Firstly, I checked the costume store closest to Twilight’s library, the one where we got the box disguises from. As it turns out the boxes we got from there weren’t for sale, and the manager wanted them back. I have no clue where they are now, probably either at town hall or Twilight’s. Meanwhile, with Spike, of course the first place he checks was Carousel Boutique, and to his luck, he hears a ringing sound coming from upstairs.

Spike walks up to the second floor of Rarity’s shop, and he tip-toes through the dark hallway, but seeing a flashing light coming from Rarity’s room. Spike also hears an evil laughter coming from the room. Spike’s curiosity gets the best of him and he tip-toes to the edge of the door and peeks inside, and sees a ponikin inside with a flashing ball. “My minions have been doing a fantastic job capturing this town, and soon everything will be in place. This land shall be ours, my old friend, and ponykind will fall.” The ponikin said.

“Who the hay is he talking to?” Spike asked.

“Yes, I know, this universe does differ from the human world, but I’ll tell you something: these horses are weak. They have no weapons to defend themselves. Just look at them, running for their lives like the cowards they are! Research shows that they’re ruled by a powerful princess. Where is their princess though? Why isn’t she saving her royal subjects?” the ponikin asked.

“How dare he insult the princess?!” Spike asked himself angrily.

“In time, my friend, in time. The Doctor isn’t even in this universe, so there’s really no need for rush.” The ponikin said.

“The Doctor? Wait… I got it!” Spike ran off to tell me the good / bad news; it really depends on how he sees it.

Meanwhile, over at the Joke Shop, I just exited there after getting a whacky joker hat with jingle bells on it. I couldn’t stop shaking my head around after I got it. I’m not even sure if this affects the timeline. I didn’t even know all the stores are opened right now, it’s the middle of the night: 8 AM! Wait, why is it night time? Probably daylight savings time. Anyways, up ahead, I saw Spike running towards me faster than the speed of squirrel. “Oh hey, brah! What’s the rush?” I asked.

“I… I… I…” Spike stuttered as he attempted to catch his breath after all that running he did.

“Bro, you have to lay off the gems. You’re getting out of shape.” I said.

“Ex… excuse me, Flare, but…. I happen to…. Let you know… I happen to be….” Spike still was managing to catch his breath.

“W-why y-you k-keep st-stutter-i-ing?” I teased.

“Will you just gimmie a second, Flare?!” Spike yelled.

“So you get tired fairly quickly from running, and you can hardly talk, but you have enough energy to yell?” I asked.

After Spike finishes catching his breath, he inhales and was just about to explain our situation, but… “You found the flashing ball and the one responsible for this right?” I assumed.

“You didn’t give me a chance to explain it!” Spike complained.

“Well who’s fault was that? You’re too slow. Lion face.” I teased.

“Well I dunno who the leader is though, and it seems he’s not working alone.” Spike said.

“What does the leader look like?” I asked.

“He’s a ponikin.” Spike said.

“Sounds easy enough; except for one thing.” I said.

“What is that?” Spike asked.

“Actually, it’s two things.” I corrected myself.

“Ok, what are they?” Spike asked.

“Ok, the first thing is, that this is two things.” I started. “Second, umm…. Darn, I just had it! Oh right- THEY’RE ALL PONIKINS! How the hay are we supposed to find out which one is the leader?!”

“The leader is the one with the flashy ball, and he’s a Carousel Boutique.” Spike said.

“Alright, now if I remember correctly, the only way to disable a ponikin is the main source of the invasion. The one controlling the Autons is a Great Old One known as the Nestene Consciousness.” I explained.

“A great old what?” Spike asked.

“Great Old One. It’s an alien species born before the universe existed. They have the power to become anything.” I said.

“So that’s why they become window dummies?” Spike asked.

“They have no shape or form; they’re a spiritual intelligence.” I said.

“So they’re ghosts then.” Spike assumed.

“They’re not ghosts, they’re an alien species with no shape or form, only intelligence.” I corrected him.

“So they’re technically ghosts.” Spike said.

“Well… ok, yeah, I guess you can say they’re ghosts.” I agreed. “But these things can travel through time and space, and now as it would seem, between universal dimensions.”

“So we’re dealing with an alien creature not from this universe?” Spike asked.

“Righty-O, buddy-O!” I said.

“So how do we find this Nestene Consciousness?” Spike asked.

“It’s hidden somewhere. I’m not sure where though. Look for a giant squid creature that looks like it’s generating telepathic energy.” I explained.

“Wait, so this Conscious fellow is a squid?” Spike asked.

“Affirmative.” I nodded.

“Then who was that ponikin talking when I was a Carousel Boutique?” Spike asked.

“Huh. I’m not sure. This is an answer for only the Doctor to explain.” I said.

“Where is he? Didn’t we see him yesterday?” Spike asked.

“Yes, but… I’m not sure where he is. Maybe he’s already taking care of the situation.” I thought.

“So then we shall go see Nightmare Moon?” Spike asked.

“Not so fast, brah. We may already know more than he does.” I said.

“Is that even possible?” Spike asked.

“Oh it’s possible alright. He may not know what the deal is. He may not know there’s more than one thing behind all this. We have to find him, and fast.” I said.

“Hopefully faster than Sonic in Max Speed.” Spike said.

A cutaway shows Sonic the Hedgehog running faster than the speed of sound, collecting rings and such, but there was a pony standing right in front of him with his mouth wide open. Sonic slides his feet across the ground, making a car break sound, trying to stop, but unfortunately he wasn’t fast enough and he lands inside the pony’s mouth, and he swallows him. “My name is Max Speed.” The big mouthed pony said. “And I have Sonic the Hedgehog inside of me.” Max then spits out a ring from his mouth and observes it. “Ooooo a free ring!” he said excitedly as he was about to grab the ring, but when he grabs it, the ring disappears out of thin air, and it makes a dinging sound. “Oh.” He said upsettingly. The cutaway ends.

“Now where can the Doctor be at this time?” Spike asked.

“Well he could be anywhere right now; Everfree, Sweet Apple Acres, the sewers, this is going to be pretty difficult.” I thought.

“What type of environment does an Old One like to hang out in?” Spike asked.

“Well, somewhere well hidden, that’s for sure, like a machine, or a pipeline, mostly anywhere with a satellite.” I explained.

“A satellite?” Spike asked.

“I think that’s what those flashing balls are for. You said you saw a flashing ball at Rarity’s, right?” I asked.

“Yes.” Spike nodded.

“Which means, our Conscious fellow is somewhere around there.” I assumed.

“But that still doesn’t explain the ponikin talking to him.” Spike said.

“Maybe we should visit this ponikin friend of yours.” I said.

“Alright, sounds good. But one question though.” Spike said.

“Yeah?” I asked.

“When did we become friends?” Spike asked. So the two of us returned to Carousel Boutique, well… actually, this was my first time going there at this particular time, Spike’s the only one returning. So once we went there, we peeked through Rarity’s doorway, but the room was dark, and there was nopony in there.

“What are you trying to prove here, brah?” I asked.

“The ponikin was just here five minutes ago.” Spike said.

“Judging by the speed of an average pony, and the length of this town, he could’ve left Ponyville and made it to Froggy Bottom Bog by now.” I said.

“You know what’s the most ironic thing about Forggy Bottom Bog? There’s more toads than frogs.” Spike said.

“Why is that?” I asked.

“Hydras don’t like the way toads taste. Ick!” Spike said as he stuck out his tongue.

“When you stick out your tongue, it looks like a lizard.” I pointed out. Just then, faster than knew it, the door slammed shut behind us, and the entire room was dark. “Hey! Who turned out the lights?”

“The lights weren’t even on.” Spike corrected me.

“What happened?” I asked.

“The door slammed shut. Lemme try to… no good, it’s locked.” Spike said.

“I think our ponikin friend is on to us.” I assumed.

“Why do you keep saying he’s our friend?” Spike asked.

“It’s a figure of speech, brah.” I corrected him.

“Sounds like a weird figure of speech if you ask me.” Spike said.

“For Wizard of Hope’s sake I can’t see a thing! All I can see is your floating eyeballs.” I said.

“Yours too. It’s weird how that works, when it’s so dark, but you only see the other one’s eyes. I have yet to still ask Twilight how that happens.” Spike said. Just then, the darkness eased as we saw a flashing light over at Rarity’s desk, and the sound of a telephone coming from there. Spike and I started walking over to the flashy light, and it was the satellite ball that Spike found before.

“This must be the satellite that signals the Autons.” I said as I grabbed it and observed it, and after a few seconds, I threw it on the ground, and it broke. “Oops. I dropped it.”

“Looks like you did that on purpose.” Spike said.

“Of course I did, Sherlock! Without this, the Autons will become inactive.” I said.

“Or so you think.” A voice said in the darkness.

“Who’s there?” Spike asked.

“Brah, don’t say ‘who’s there’ until they say ‘knock knock’.” I corrected him.

“Who are you?” Spike asked.

“I’m a spiritual intelligence born before the universe existed, and now I shall take over along with my consciousness friend.” The voice said.

“You’re a what?” I asked.

“I’m better known as the Great Intelligence.” The voice said.

“That doesn’t answer my question.” I said.

“How can I make it any simpler?” the Intelligence asked.

“Say you’re a ghost.” I instructed.

“I am NOT a ghost!” the intelligence corrected me.

“You said you’re spiritual, and spiritual means ghost.” I corrected him.

“How dare you mock the name of the Great Intelligence?!” the Intelligence yelled.

“Excuse me, I didn’t say your name ONCE, how can I mock it?” I asked.

“Uh, Flare, now is not the best time for jokes.” Spike said.

“The Doctor jokes all the time, and he always saves the day.” I said.

“You know the Doctor?!” the Intelligence asked.

“Know him? I know a lot about him, from when he was William Hartnell, all the way to Matt Smith!” I said.

“I don’t know who those people are.” The Intelligence said.

“People? Is that an alien way of saying ‘ponies’?” Spike asked.

“Tell me about the Doctor!” the Intelligence demanded.

“He’s a Time Lord.” I said.

“Yeah, I’m gonna need more than that.” The Intelligence said.

“He’s a Time Lord that travels through space and time.” I said.

“More!” the Intelligence demanded.

“He’s a Time Lord that travels through space and time, and he travels in a blue police box.” I explained.

“Ok I had enough of you. YOU, DRAGON! Tell me about the Doctor!” the Intelligence demanded.

“Ok first of all, the name isn’t ‘dragon’, its Spike. This DRAGON has a name, bucko. And second of all, I don’t watch Doctor Who, so I really don’t know what to say about this.” Spike said.

“Watch? You spy on the Doctor?” the Intelligence asked.

“I just told you, I don’t even watch him!” Spike reminded him.

“NOT YOU! The pony!” the Intelligence corrected him.

“This pony’s got a name too, brah. It’s Flare Gun.” I explained.

“Well, then, Flare Gun. If I don’t get an actual answer from you soon, I’ll use your body as a host.” The Intelligence threatened me.

“A host, huh? Sounds possum grade awesome if you ask me! I’ve always wanted to host my own show!” I said.

A cutaway shows me as a host on a late night talk show. The swinging music was playing in the background as the audience was clopping their hooves for me, and the camera zooms in towards me sitting on a desk as the city of Manehatten shined in the night in the background behind me. “Alright, thank you, thank you! Welcome back to Flare’s Way! I am your host Flare Gun, and it is such an honor to be here. Normally I’d be at home playing on my XBUCKS without any clothes on, and eating salt and vinegar Lays!” I said as the audience started laughing. “What is the deal with Lays anyway? When you eat BBQ chips do they really taste BBQie? I mean, I think the only thing they put in there is BBQ flavoring, not really cooking it on a grill. I suppose they just don’t wanna burn themselves over making potato chips that are just gonna kill ya in the future. Anyways, listen to me telling you stupid stuff, and there’s my trusty sidekick dragon over there, because hey, all talk show hosts have a dim-witted sidekick.”

“Oh looks who’s talking! The only reason I’m the sidekick is because it goes to show I’m the funnier guy.” Spike said.

“Oh yeah? What makes you funnier?” I asked.

“You’re funnier looking.” Spike teased as he presses a button in front of him that makes a slide-whistle sound effect, and the audience started laughing. “Yeah listen to them laugh, Flare. They like me and my slide-whistle.” Spike presses the slide-whistle button again.

“See you press a button to use a slide-whistle, but you’re too lazy to do it yourself?” I asked.

“Huh? Oh this button is the fart button; the slide-whistle is just in the way.” Spike teased and the audience laughed even harder.

“Alright, alright, we don’t need to get carried away, brah. Alright, to calm things down, making sure you don’t laugh your spines out; please welcome our first guest to the show: Ollie Williams!” I said as the audience started clapping and Ollie started waving to the audience and walked towards me and we shook hooves and hugged. “Ollie Williams! Good to have you here! How you doing?”

“DOING GOOD!” Ollie yelled.

“Ok thank you very much, Ollie! We were glad to have you on the show. We’ll be right back after this commercial break!” I said to the viewers as the camera started zooming away from me and the audience was applauding (see I was gonna say clopping instead of applauding, but to avoid confusion I said applauding instead). The cutaway ends.

“That’s not what I meant by host.” The Intelligence corrected me. “I meant I’d take control of your body, and-“

“I know what it means, I’m not stupid.” I interrupted him.

“I wasn’t done talking.” The Intelligence said.

“You bore me, brah.” I said.

Spike facepalmed himself and said, “Yeah I’m starting think going back in time was a bad idea.”

“Shh.” I shushed him.

“Wha-?” Spike asked.

“You know, Mr. Intel, you and I are both seeking the same pony.” I said.

“What?” the Intelligence asked.

“The Doctor, yes. We’re both looking for him.” I said.

“You’re looking for too?” the Intelligence asked.

“Yep! Maybe if we work TO-GE-THER…” I winked at Spike, and he just shrugged at me. “We can look for him!”

“No tricks, pony.” The Intelligence demanded.

“Tricks are for kids.” I said.

“Alright, since you’re from here, you maybe in use to me.” The Intelligence said.

“Maybe? I’m ALWAYS useful, brah! Don’t you deny it!” I demanded.

“Ok then, find the Doctor, bring him to me!” the Intelligence instructed me as he opened the door to let us out.

“I promise, when I find the Doctor, I’ll bring him to you!” I swore.

“Good. Now begone!” the Intelligence demanded as Spike and I left the Boutique to go look for him.

“I kinda saw what you did there.” Spike said.

“I dunno how you wouldn’t. You were with me that whole time.” I said.

“No, I mean, you promised the Intelligence you’d bring the Doctor to him, so the Doctor can kick his flank, right?” Spike asked.

“The Intelligence doesn’t have a flank, brah. It’s a ghost.” I reminded him.

“Right, but still, how are you going to find this Doctor? You have no idea where he is.” Spike said.

“Don’t tell me I know and don’t know, because you don’t know anything about what I know and don’t know, you know?” I demanded.

“Right.” Spike agreed.

“Where can we find him?” I asked. As we were thinking, a couple of Autons started gaining on us.

“Look out!” Spike pointed out the Autons.

“Autons! Seems that the Intelligence didn’t tell the Consciousness that we’re working with him.” I assumed.

“Well, Flare, got anything to stop them? Hornsaber? Bubble shield? Laser blast? Even your shoop da whoop?” Spike asked.

“Nope. We’re doomed.” I said.

“Oh c’mon! You’re giving up like that?” Spike asked.

“What can I say? I don’t like destroying objects. Sometimes I find them to be people too.” I said.

“That’s pathetic.” Spike said.

“You’ve heard worse.” I said.

“HELP! HELP!” Spike cried.

“Yep, cry for help, Spike.” I said mischievously.

“Why are you making that face?” Spike asked.

“What face?” I asked with a mischievous looking face that’s somewhat silly.

“That one.” Spike said.

“I do not know what you mean.” I fibbed.

“HELP!” Spike cried again. Just then, out of nowhere, a shadow appears right behind the Autons, and a blue light shines in front of the shadow, and all the Autons heads explode. “Wow, that seemed easy. I didn’t think I had that much of a high-pitched voice.”

“Hello, my old friends!” the shadow said as he walked towards us and it’s revealed to be the Doctor. “It’s good to see you again!”

“Doctor! We’ve been looking for you!” Spike said.

“I knew you’d come!” I said.

“You did?” Spike asked.

“Whenever you’re in trouble with something alien-like, the Doctor always comes to the rescue. Duh!” I explained.

“Flare what are you doing here at this time, and how?” the Doctor asked.

“Wait how did you know we time traveled?” I asked.

A cutaway shows the Doctor walking over to my trailer and knocking on my door at my trailer back at the present time. “Yoo hoo? Flare? I got a crate of pears here. Someone delivered them to me as an April Fools prank and I was hoping you’d want som- Hello? What’s this?” the Doctor finds a note on my door that says, “Gone time travelling to the day Nightmare Moon gets defeated, be back in a few minutes most likely. PS: If this is the Chinese delivery pony I want my money back. I did not get my soup. All I got was uranium.” The Doctor gasps and said, “Oh no! Flare didn’t get his soup? What a rip-off! Wait! He went time travelling! Oh no! You can’t first-time travel without soup! I gotta go warn him!” The cutaway ends.

“So yeah, I’m here to give you two some soup. You shouldn’t first-time travel without it.” The Doctor said, giving Spike and a container of soup

“What kind is it?” Spike asked.

“It’s cheese soup.” The Doctor said.

“Yuck!” Spike and I said at the same time.

“What’s wrong with cheese soup? It’s nice and cheesy! Real good!” the Doctor said.

“Yuck!” Spike and I said again.

“It was either this or Split Pea, and nopony likes Split Pea.” The Doctor said.

“But Doctoooooooooor! You picked the exact opposite of what we waaaaaaant!” I whined.

“Well, that’s rare. My calculations of ponies like Split Pea soup better than Cheese Soup are 731 to 1.” The Doctor said.

“When you talk like that, you sound like a tactical droid from the Clone Wars series.” Spike commented.

“Well, regardless, it seems we’ve gotten ourselves into a tight situation. I don’t remember Autons when I first came to this time.” The Doctor said.

“Well they must’ve went through the time zone with us. We were followed here by the Great Intelligence.” I said.

“The Great Intelligence? No that’s not right. It’s the Nestene Consciousness that controls the Autons.” The Doctor said.

“It would seem that these two Old Ones have teamed up.” Spike said.

“It’s very rare to see two Old Ones in one place, very, very, very, very, very… very-very-very-very-VEEEERRRRYYYY-very-very-very rare.” The Doctor said.

“Well, the Intelligence has a satellite ball over at Carousel Boutique, and we were able to break it, but for some reason the Autons are still active.” I said.

“The Consciousness must’ve have taken control of a bigger satellite, something big, something round, but I’m no fool. I don’t see a Ferris wheel here.” The Doctor said.

“What about the Wheel Shop?” Spike suggested. The Doctor and I looked over up the street and saw a giant wheel on top of the wheel shop which I did not know Ponyville had.

“How long has that been there?” I asked.

“That must be where the Consciousness is.” The Doctor assumed.

“You sure about that?” I asked.

“Oh listen to yourself!” the Doctor commented in a fussy voice and then he started walking over to the wheel shop and Spike and I followed. The Doctor and us walked inside the wheel shop, and saw tons of wheels on sale. There was no sign of anything suspicious yet, but the Doctor seems sure the Consciousness is here. There were just a couple of ponies shopping, a stallion was sitting at the cash register with his hind hooves on the counter and text messaging on his iPhone, which seems pretty lame, because T-Mobile is better, even though not many others agree with me. Also there were two ceiling fans in the shop. Pretty cool, but doesn’t beat my shop. I got four ceiling fans in my shop! Anyways, the Doctor walked over to the pony behind the counter, which shouldn’t be using an iPhone, and then he took a magazine from the shelf in front of the counter and started walking towards the door, but the pony behind the counter didn’t notice. “You should be fired you know.” The Doctor said to the pony.

“Who me?” the cashier asked.

“Yes, you. I was about to walk out of here with this magazine without paying, and you’re sitting there texting on your phone? I could’ve stolen this, and nopony would’ve noticed.” The Doctor said.

“Oh, sorry. Hey, thief, don’t steal!” the cashier somewhat yelled.

“I should report to you to your manager!” the Doctor said.

“Oh please, don’t!” the cashier begged.

“My boy, you leave me no other alternative. I’m marching right in the back room right now, and I’m going to holler at your boss because the employees in this shop are so careless.” The Doctor said as he started walking to the back room.

“Oh I wouldn’t go back there if I were you.” The cashier said.

“Oh yeah like I’m scared of back rooms!” the Doctor said sarcastically.

“I’m serious, dude. Don’t go back there.” The cashier demanded.

“And I am serious too, DUDE. I will go back there.” The Doctor said as he stood in front of the door, and opened it. “AH HA!” the Doctor yelled, but inside the backroom revealed to be a room filled with bubble wrap, and the manager pony was rolling around in it, popping all the bubbles. “What the?”

“HEY! Who told you to come in without knocking!?” the manager yelled the Doctor. “Get outta here!”

“This place is a nuthouse!” the Doctor complained as he closed the door and started walking towards the front door. “This place is DEFINITALY going to go out of business by the end of the month, maybe not even! Wait until Mayor Mare hears about this. C’mon Flare, Spike.”

“Hang on; I wanna get myself some snow wheels.” I said.

“Oh c’mon, Flare, you don’t even have a carriage.” Spike reminded me.

“It’s for my trailer, dum dum.” I corrected him.

“C’mon, Flare. There’s no need to do business with these weirdos.” The Doctor said.

“Hey, it’s a hobby! Give them a break. You’re the one who barged inside the manager’s office.” I reminded him as Spike and I followed the Doctor out of the store.

“Well, it would seem the Consciousness isn’t there. I don’t understand though. The Consciousness sends a satellite to the Autons in order to control them. Where else are we going to find a giant circle?” the Doctor asked.

“There’s a cheese shop over there with a cheese wheel on top.” Spike pointed out.

“Ah, excellent! Excellent! Then that’s the place we shall look.” The Doctor said as the three of us went inside to look around, but after a few moments we walked back out. “Why hasn’t the health inspector checked that place? It’s infested with rats.”

“Oh look, a donut shop.” I pointed over to the shop with a giant round donut on top.

“Then that is our satellite!” the Doctor said as the Doctor and I were about to walk inside, but Spike grabs my tail to stop me.

“Hey! Easy on the yanking!” I complained.

“Wait for it.” Spike instructed me, and then after a few moments, the Doctor walked back out in frustration.

“You know the pony that’s obsessed with tubs of jelly, right?” the Doctor asked us.

“Yeah, the Cutie Mark Crusaders mentioned him in a song before, why?” Spike asked.

“Weeeeeeeell… you don’t wanna know what he’s doing in there with all the jelly-filled donuts.” The Doctor said in a disgusted tone.

“Oh lookie, I see a circle shop.” I pointed to a shop up ahead with just a giant black circle on top.

“Yeah, I bet you 15 bits we’re not going to be finding anything useful in that shop.” The Doctor said as the three of us walked over to the circle shop and walked inside, and just as we walked inside, the three of us get tangled on some giant squid-like tentacles. A giant squid-like creature appears in front of us and rawrs on our faces.

“Ah ha! 15 bits! Pay up, brah!” I demanded from the Doctor.

“We didn’t shake hooves, therefore the deal is not valid.” The Doctor said.

“Yeah, you’d think of any excuse not to pay.” I said mischievously. So the Consciousness started swinging us around with its tentacles, making Spike sick, and giving me a headache. The Doctor’s hooves were tied up with the Consciousness’ tentacle, but he was trying to get into his coat pocket (yeah ponies got pockets on their skins) and attempted to get his trusty sonic screwdriver out, but once he was able to, the screwdriver fell out and landed on the floor. The Consciousness started laughing evilly.

“The Doctor, we could use some he-elp.” Spike reminded him.

“I’m working on it! Calm down!” the Doctor said with an attitude. The Consciousness opened its mouth and dropped the Doctor inside it. The Doctor didn’t do anything to struggle, like he would just let the Consciousness swallow him.

“DOCTOR!” Spike and I yelled. We knew we were gonna be next for the Consciousness to eat.

“I think I’m gonna be sick.” Spike said.

“Wow, this is getting really tense! Almost as tense as the time I volunteered to clean windows for a church.” I said. A cutaway shows me cleaning the windows at a church near my old home. If you haven’t noticed, churches have lots of stain glass windows, huge, which made me really upset. “It’ll be an easy job they said. Just clean the windows they said.” I complained as I was cleaning the big circle stained glass window on top of the alter. The cutaway ends.

As the Doctor gets swung around by the Consciousness’ tentacle, he looks around the room to find a solution to the problem. He sees a couple of speakers hanging on the walls, but he doesn’t have his sonic screwdriver with him. “Flare, I need your help. Use your magic to toss my screwdriver over to me.” The Doctor instructed.

“I’m feeling a little too sick to use my magic right now, thank you very much.” I said.

“Bring me my screwdriver! I can use it on the speakers to stop the Conciousness.” The Doctor explained.

“Why use a stupid screwdriver when I got Shoop da Whoop?” I asked.

“Flare, I don’t think that’s such a good idea.” The Doctor said.

“Nonsense! Time to fire my big-flank laser!” I yelled as I started charging up my horn, and fired my shoop spell on the Consciousness, but the creature was swinging me around so much, I completely missed, but the laser shot the Doctor’s screwdriver and it started flying in the air towards the Doctor, and he catches it with his mouth.

”Ooo ree’er roll yer ears.” The Doctor said.

“What did he say?” Spike asked.

“I think he said, ‘My goodness, don’t get me started on the Dutch’.” I assumed. The Doctor rolled his eyes and just used his screwdriver on the speakers. The speakers start making a very loud noise, so loud our eardrums started booming like Phil Collins was playing them. The loud noise started affecting the Consciousness; it started shaking and rumbling, and it released us from its grip. “Run!” the Doctor yelled as the three of us started running outside, away from the building. Once we ran as far from the building as we could, green goo explodes from the inside, and spreads throughout the surrounding area, which includes us. “Look, if I wanted to be slimmed on, I could’ve went on Nickelodeon.” I complained as I started wiping the goo off my body. Around us, the Autons started collapsing to the ground and stopped attacking; not necessarily in that order.

“Good. The Autons are shutting down, and nopony got hurt.” The Doctor said.

“I tripped over a rock and got an owie though.” Caramel came to us with a soar hoof and said.

“Like I said…. Nopony got hurt.” The Doctor said. “The Consciousness has been defeated.”

“But what about the Great Intelligence?” I asked.

“This land is way too peaceful for his presence. We must capture him, and then… we’ll have some delicious waffles, cause I sure am craving waffles right now.” The Doctor said.

“We still haven’t eaten you know, Flare.” Spike reminded me.

“Yeah I know Flare, he’s a swell guy!” I teased. The three of us ran over as fast as we could to Carousel Boutique to find the Intelligence, but when we got there, we saw his ponikin laying on the ground.

“He abandoned his shell.” The Doctor said.

“Shells in a nutshell.” I said.

“He could take the form of anything plastic by now! Look for anything that any plastic that seems out of the ordinary.” The Doctor instructed us as he started looking around for where the Intelligence may be.

“C’mon, Doc, you think it’s-“ I started, but the Doctor interrupts me.

“NO!” he yells.

“What?” I asked.

“You know what you said.” The Doctor said as he smirked at me.

“Allllllright…. Why would the Intelligence move? He expects us to see a moving object. He could be just blending in to the crowd.” I pointed out.

“Good point, Flare.” The Doctor said. “We should gather up all the plastic in this room, and-“

“BORING!” I yelled.

“Uh, guys. I think we’re looking in the wrong place.” Spike pointed out the window to see the Chinese container that traveled with us before rolling through the streets of Ponyville.

“AFTER THAT CHINESE TAKEOUT CONTAINER!” the Doctor yelled. As we ran outside, we saw ponies all around us cleaning the mess the Autons made, and the plastic container continued rolling down the street.

“Hop on, brah.” I said to Spike as he climbs on my back. As I started chasing the plastic container, I started climbing up market stalls, and jumping on balconies, and zip-lining through clothes lines, like in one of those town chase scenes from action movies. I hopped from a rooftop down on a stack of cardboard boxes, and stood in the middle of the street yelling, “HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, YOU PIECE OF PLASTIC!”

“Uhh, Flare, you were chasing a rat carrying provolone cheese.” Spike pointed out as a rat carrying a chunk of cheese ran pass us.

“Well, that’s pretty ironic. Everypony knows yellow swiss cheese is the more common type of cheese that you see rats carrying.” I said.

The Doctor was gaining up towards the plastic container rolling down the street, but the container was rolling too fast. The Doctor searches around as he runs and sees a cart full of apples that Big Mac is carrying across town. The Doctor takes out his screwdriver and uses it one of Big Mac’s cart wheels, the cart tilts over, and apples started pouring all over the place, surrounding the Chinese container. “Gotcha!” the Doctor said as he grabbed the plastic container, but under the container was Fluttershy’s rabbit Angel. “Wait a minute, you’re not the Intelligence.” Big Mac walks over towards the Doctor and gives him an ugly look.

“I’m terribly sorry, mate. I’m looking for an alienated Chinese takeout container. Have you seen it?” the Doctor asked.

“Nnnope.” Big Mac said angrily as he grabbed the missing wheel from his cart to attempt to put it back on. The Doctor eventually saw the plastic container with the Intelligence rolling inside the Everfree Forest. Spike and I caught up with the Doctor.

“Did you find him?” Spike asked.

“He went inside there.” The Doctor pointed out.

“Oh no! Not the Everfree Forest!” Spike said frighteningly.

“Oh yes, the Everfree Forest!” I said excitedly.

“You’re not scared?” Spike asked.

“Oh yeah I’m scared of going in there, but at the same time excited! We may witness Nightmare Moon getting defeated after all!” I said excitedly.

“Oh yeah, I almost forgot about that!” Spike said.

“C’mon! We gotta catch up with it!” the Doctor said. So we chased the plastic container through the Everfree Forest, down a slippery cliff, passed a sleeping manticore, and through a bunch of trees fairly close together. When we got to a river we saw a sea serpent admiring himself through a mirror. Ironically, the plastic container was on the other side of the river.

“Oh c’mon! How is that possible?” I asked.

“Oh hello there!” the sea serpent said to us.

“Nice mustache.” I said.

“Oh thank you!” the serpent said. “A friend gave it to me!”

“It looks…. Amazing!” Spike said in a romantic tone.

“Judging by your tone, you seem to show affection towards this sea serpent’s mustache doesn’t even match either side.” The Doctor said.

“Well! It looks like someone doesn’t know fashion when he sees one.” The serpent said insultingly.

“Anyways, we’re going after that plastic container on the other side of the river. Can you help us through?” I asked.

“I can’t just help you without you doing something nice for me first.” The serpent said.

“Can’t we just swim through?” Spike asked.

“You think our microwave time machine is gonna survive that water? Besides, we’re still missing fine china.” I reminded him.

“Sir, if you don’t let us through, the fate of Equestria will hang in the balance.” The Doctor said.

“Not with that attitude, honey.” The serpent said.

“Please then?” the Doctor asked.

“Oh you think that’s gonna change anything, sweetheart? If you wanna come through you should do something for me first.” The serpent said.

“Just him, or all of us?” I asked.

“All of you. Show me something… artistic. Something with pizzazz!” the serpent requested.

“If its art you want, its art you’ll get! HIT IT!” I yelled. A couple of top hats and canes were tossed towards Spike and I by an unknown source, and we started to sing and dance, a song that we made up. The type of music in this song is swinging music, in case you were concerned, the type of music not many use anymore. It’s partially dead; it’s sad really.

“We’re ordinary, extra ordinary, individual guys…” Spike and I started. “We got style and determination, that’s the explanation! We are leet and so badflank, and we have you to thaaaaaaank! All you need to do is one thing: please please please remember uuuuuuus! We’re ordinary, extra ordinary, individual guys…”

“If you just play your ca-ards right, you can put up any fi-yi-yight!” Spike sang as he was boxing a kangaroo, but lost obviously.

“You can make the sunshine every day, just like Charlie Daaaaaay!” I sang.

“But all you need to do is one thing: please please please remember uuuuus!” Spike and I both sang.

“Oh I just got your joke, you’re talking about the show Its Always Sunny in Fillydelphia, right?” Spike asked.

“Righty-o, buddy-o!” I said.

“If you remember us, you can achieve great things…” we both continued.

“Like drinking the most pool water on a cruise ship, or even piercing your liiiiiip.” I sang with a piercing lip and drinking pool water.

“Or maybe spend three months in a row, learning how to play the BANJO!” Spike sang as he plays the banjo.

“You can even trrrrrry, land on a mattress from miles hiiiiiiiiigh…!” I sang.

“But the only way you can do that, is if you grab a cane and top haaaaaaat, and sing-“ we both sang. “We’re ordinary, extra ordinary, individual brahs!”

“No two of us are alike at all, so haters, you don’t make sense at aaaaaall.” Spike sang.

“If you listen to really wanna be like me, then listen carefullyyyyyyyy!” I sang. “Cause all you need to do…”

“Don’t be such a poo…” Spike sang.

“Be like Pikachu…” I sang.

“Maybe Winnie the Pooh…” Spike sang.

“It would be nice…” I sang.

“Really cold as ice…” Spike sang.

“Rich as Monopoly…” I sang.

“You can count to three…” Spike sang.

“Ha ha ha ha…” I sang.

“Bla bla bla bla…” Spike sang.

“Another one rides the bus…” I sang.

“Be just like uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuus…” Spike sang.

“Because if there’s one thing you should do, we got one thing to say to yoooooou…” we sang quietly and slowly without any instruments in the background until we got upbeat again in the next part. “AAAAAAAALL YOU NEED TO DOOOOOOOOOOOO, IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS, REMEMBER UUUUUUUUUUUUS- please remember us! Please remember us! Please remember us!” the instruments stopped again. “All you need to do is remember us!”

“LAWL REMEMBER!” I yelled as the song ends there.

"Wonderful! Simply wonderful!" he cried in cheer and clapped his hands.. "That was so entertaining! I mean I couldn’t really get the lyrics a bit, and your voices were a little…. Bland, but that song was simply wonderful! Congratulations, sweethearts! Come on through! But be careful not to slip.” the sea serpent said as he placed his head down at the water so we can use his body as a bridge to get to the other side of the river.

“Thanks, brah! Happy face!” I said as Spike and I hopped on his back and crossed to the other side of the river, but once the Doctor got on, and once we got off, the serpent went back up and the Doctor fell into the water.

“HEY!” the Doctor yelled.

“You didn’t sing once.” The serpent said.

“I don’t sing, I just dance.” The Doctor said.

“You’re gonna have to just swim across, sweetheart. Cheerio!” the serpent said as he swims away. The Doctor swam across the river, and we helped him up to land again.

“Let’s go, the Intelligence has to be over at those ruins over there.” The Doctor pointed to the old castle ruins in front of us, across the rickety bridge.

“Look, there’s Twilight’s friends standing outside the castle! We still have time!” Spike pointed out.

“And there’s the Intelligence! What does he think he’s doing?” the Doctor asked.

“Well, this is when Twilight and the others first discover the Elements of Harmony, which they used to defeat Nightmare Moon.” Spike said.

“The Elements of Harmony, but… they’re not plastic.” Spike said.

“Wait, are we talking about the Intelligence or the Consciousness?” I asked.

“Oh no, the Consciousness is gone, it’s just the Intelligence left.” The Doctor said.

“Well, you go ahead and deal with the Intelligence, Spike and I are gonna witness Nightmare Moon’s defeat, and then we’ll find some fine china, and return home in a jiffy!” I said.

“You know, I may not be able to catch the Intelligence alone.” The Doctor said.

“What do you have to worry about? You’re the Doctor! You can handle anything! Winky face!” I corrected him.

“I normally travel with a companion though. As you can see, I don’t have one right now.” The Doctor said.

“What about Derpy?” Spike asked.

“Nothing lasts forever.” The Doctor said.

“But the main reason why we’re here is to see Nightmare Moon get defeated by the Elements of Harmony!” I complained.

“But the entire fate of Equestria lies in the balance! I’ll need your help in order to catch the Intelligence!” the Doctor said.

“Flare, we don’t have time for this. The ponies are running towards that tower over there. My guess is that we don’t have time to lose in order to witness Nightmare Moon’s defeat!” Spike pointed out.

“Flare… please!” the Doctor begged.

“Flare… please!” Spike begged.

“Both of you stop! I hate choosing! I was never good at it! If I do one thing, I’ll miss out on something else! Why must life have decisions!?” I yelled.

“Flare, do this for your bro Spike!” Spike begged.

“Flare, Equestria’s fate is at risk! Do the right thing!” the Doctor begged.

“SHUT UP! BOTH OF YOU!” I yelled. “I’m thinking!”

“There’s no time to think!” the Doctor said.

“You’re right. There is no time to think, and my decision stands.” I said.

“What’s your decision?” Spike asked.

“I choose both!” I said as I took out my microwave time machine, and started running towards the Intelligence. I opened the microwave, and I used my magic to levitate the microwave towards the Chinese container, and sat it down right on top of it. “Stand back! This is gonna get big! Shoop da whoooooop!” I yelled as I fired my shoop spell on the microwave with the Great Intelligence inside it, and the microwave time machine explodes, destroying the time machine itself as well as the Chinese container inside it.

“DUDE!” Spike yelled.

“Now, we go watch Nightmare Moon get defeated!” I said as I levitated Spike off the ground and onto my back. “FOR GREAT EQUESTRIA!” I yelled as I start running to the tower where the Mane Six are about to use the Elements of Harmony to defeat Nightmare Moon.

"You think you can destroy The Elements of Harmony just like that? Well, you're wrong, because the spirits of the Elements of Harmony are right here!” Twilight started. Spike and I watched the entire thing from the doorway, but it was so dark, nopony could see us, not even the DHX cameras that were in there could see us. Spike and I were very impressed and very entertained for the moment. Princess Luna really looked different then than she does now. Maybe for being in the moon so long her magic drained a bit, causing her mane not to flow like her sister’s.

Once we finished, and the sun was risen, and the Mane Six and the princesses were on their way back to Ponyville, Spike and I met up with the Doctor back at the Elements chamber down below. “Well, Flare Gun, I must say, I am quite impressed with your performance.” The Doctor said.

“Yeah, well, I didn’t want to let my friends OR Equestria down.” I said.

“But it cost us the time machine, so it looks like we’ll have to stay here a little longer until we can find another microwave, as well as the ingredients to get it functioning again.” Spike said.

“But it’s not possible for a microwave to be a time machine with the ingredients you chose. It just creates a chain reaction and explodes.” The Doctor corrected us.

“So… this is all a dream, right? We gone unconscious after the explosion?” I asked.

“Oh no, this is very much real, my friend.” The Doctor said.

“Are you saying that cause it’s true, is that what death is like?” I asked.

The Doctor sighs and said, “Here. For helping me save Equestria, how about I’ll give you two a ride home? My treat!” the Doctor offers.

“Oh that’s right, you’re a time traveler! LAWL! Silly me! I completely forgot about that!” I laughed. The Doctor rolled his eyes, and then we started following him back to Ponyville, where his TARDIS is.

"Alright! Can’t wait to head back home! I'm in the mood for some Diablo 3." Spike said excitedly.

“Yep! This was really an epic adventure, Spike! Almost as leet as when I trolled my math tutor!” I said.

A cutaway shows younger me being tutored by one of the math tutors at my school. “Ok, Flare, if you have 10 chocolate cakes, and someone asks for 2, how many cakes do you have left?” my tutor asked.

“10.” I said.

“Ok, if someone forcibly takes 2 of your cakes, how many would you have left then?” my tutor asked.

“10, plus a dead body.” I said. The cutaway ends.

“But I gotta say, I had a great time here, despite the flaws we made.” I said.

“What WE made?” Spike asked.

“Yeah WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!” I said as I leaned close to Spike’s face.

“Alright you two; head on in! Let’s the make the return to present day Ponyville!” the Doctor said as Spike and I walked inside the TARDIS. The Doctor drops us off back in present day Ponyville, and Spike and I exit his TARDIS.

“Thanks, Doctor! I really appreciate the lift!” I said.

“Oh it was no problem at all. Nice having some temporary companions every now and again. Maybe you two can come by again someday.” The Doctor suggested.

“That sounds awesome!” Spike said.

“Alright! We’ll let you know!” I said.

“Now if you excuse me, it’s tea time!” the Doctor said as he closes his TARDIS door and his TARDIS teleports away.

“Hey, dude, thanks for showing me Nightmare Moon’s defeat.” Spike said.

“No problemo, brah! Can’t wait to turn in our microwave time machine so we can make the top 20 of the most stupidest things!” I said.

“Good luck with that!” Spike said as he walked away.

"Oh hey, Flare!" Merry May said as her, Golden Harvest, and Cloud Kicker walked up to me.

“What’s up?” Cloud Kicker asked.

"You mean, box number one?" I asked.

"No I mean Flare. How do you know about Box number one?" she asked.

“Shall I tell you the time again when I was Jeff Gorspeed’s crew chief?” I asked as I placed the box disguise from the past on my head.

"So you're box number one?" Golden Harvest asked. "I thought there was something familiar about you."

“Yeah I get that a lot, or I don’t. I have no idea sometimes.” I said. “Anyways, let me tell you girls the story on how Spike and I went back in time to see the Summer Sun Celebration, and how we were there to witness the defeat of Nightmare Moon, AND two Great Old Ones, and how I sang to a sea serpent, and how I made a joke about the Big Comfy Couch show!”

“And how you caused a pair of ducks!” one of the ducks from the past said.

“You know, I used to play an old video game all about shooting ducks.” I said to the duck.

“Whoa! That is so uncalled for!” the duck freaked out.

Author's Note

The second part of the new Flare Through Time. It took me a while to finally complete this! Three weeks as a matter of fact! Making these stories isn't easy, and I'm doing it for you all, I didn't have to make this, but I wanted to. Anyways, this chapter changed big time from old version of this chapter! It's not just following the Mane Six anymore; we have the Doctor, the Consciousness, the Autons, and the Great Intelligence from Doctor Who in here, and it's gonna be alot like this in the rest of the Flare Through Time stories in the future. It was this way in Book 2's Flare Through Time. Also the song in here is completely original; besides the songs I've already prepared for Book 3 and the movie book, I'm gonna try to start making my own music in here.

Child's Play

"Ah, Canterlot!" I said as I walked out into the opened and smelled the fresh air. "So fancy, so beautiful, so expensive! It's gonna cost a fortune expanding my shop here. But hey, I still have alot of money from when I was Jeff Gorspeed's crew chief, and let's not forget Rarity and Twilight have a good reputation here, so if anypony asks, I’m friends with Rarity and Twilight. Now all we have to do is pick a location! FOR GREAT EQUESTRIA! PRAISE THE WIZARDS!” I yelled.

"Excuse me young colt, but will you please tone it down?" a Canterlot pony by the name of Jet Set asked.

"Yeah, you're acting like such a child right now." Upper Crust said.

"Oh really? Can a child do this?” I asked as I placed both of my arms over my head. “See how flexible I am with my front arms? If only I was this flexible with my back.”

"Oh dear me.” Upper Crust said excitedly.

“My dear boy, how do your friends picture you?” Jet Set asked.

“I dunno, how do you picture me?” I asked.

“I said ‘your friends’, not us.” Jet Set corrected me.

“Everypony’s my friend, whether they like it or not, I less than three everypony!” I said.

“Well I’ll be. You don’t happen to come from Ponyville, do you?” Jet Set asked.

“I live there.” I said.

“No wonder he seems ‘redneckish’.” Jet Set said.

“Hey! I’ll happen to let you know that I’m nothing close to red neck! I’m a pizza shop owner. I was born and raised in Mareami.” I said.

“Whoa! Even worse!” Upper Crust commented.

“Yeah, I hear ya. I’ll take your word on that, brahs.” I said.

“Umm, did he just call us a woman’s clothing, dear?” Upper Crust asked.

“It so happens that he did.” Jet Set said. “We’ll keep the fact that you are indeed a child.”

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, your opinions are your own. Kay thanks bye!" I said with an attitude as I walked away from them. “Jeez, what was the problem with those two? They seemed more up-tight and wise-cracks than Sheldon Cooper.”

A cutaway shows a bunch of kids in a McDonalds commercial dancing and jumping around while singing ‘Put a Smile On’ with Ronald McDonald. “I don’t see what the big deal is. What are we smiling about?” Sheldon asked.

“Just smiling in general, Sheldon! We’re happy!” one of the kids said.

“You find it happy to be dancing around like maniacs and singing along with a clown that might be perverted?” Sheldon asked.

“Just smile, Sheldon!” one of the kids demanded. Sheldon does smile, but he does a sort of creepy smile that may remind you of joker from Batman.

“We’re here to do a McDonalds commercial, not kill Batman.” One of the kids corrected him. The cutaway ends.

So I continued looking around Canterlot, continuing to look for a spot for my new expansion. "Negetive! Can't find a good spot yet, but I will. Count on it!” I said to myself. "Oh hey look, a statue! Hi statue! Got any good locations I can open my shop?" I asked to a statue of Shining Armor. I started to climb on the statue’s back, and walked up to its ear and looked around. "No, I don't think there would be a good spot. Got any suggestions near the castle?" The statue doesn't say anything, but I automatically assumed to what it’s thinking, and I just went with it. “Yeah, I agree, places more near the castle are waaaaay more expensive. I’m telling you, it’s like eating at the Cheesecake Factory and ordering everything on the menu 10 times in a row! Which reminds me, Ponyville still needs a Cheesecake Factory. I should write them a letter, but first thing’s first.” I started to slide off the statue, and after I did so, I saluted the statue and said, “Thanks for your help! I hope to congratulate you on my grand opening speech once I open this Faust-forsaken shop.”

"Dear me! That pony seems to have gotten crazy." Swan Dive commented.

"I can hear you, sista.” I said.

"Young stallion, do you know where you are right now?” Swan Dive asked.

“I’m in Canterlot, so?” I commented.

“We’re civilized here. We’re not like that pittyful town Ponyville when you can just talk to every piece of stoned artwork that you can find.” Swan Dive said. I started to chuckle. “What is so funny?”

“You said stoned.” I said.

"You seem to act all childish, sir. Are you from Ponyville?" Swan Dive asked.

"I do live there, but I'm actually from Mareami. Down south of here!" I corrected her. "Beautiful beaches, and babes, and neon lights, and restaurants, it's beautiful down there!"

"You Mareami folk seem to act different. How about mature up and stop acting like such a child?” Swan Dive recommended, and then she walked away with her head facing the sky.

"Wow; the way she said 'Mareami' sounded pretty silly. Also, why do these uptight jerks always have their heads laying down on their backs and facing the sky? Do they need to see a chiropractor or something?” I asked.

“No, they just do that so they can avoid looking like me.” The Hunchback of Notre Dame said.

“Why do you take their word on it? They’re jerks.” I asked.

“My master says so. You know, you and I seem to have a lot in common.” The Hunchback said.

“Oh yeah?” I asked.

“Yeah, you talk to stoned statues like I do. Isn’t that right, Victor?” the Hunchback asked one of his gargoyle statues.

“I feel normal with you around.” I said.

A few minutes later, I went to talk with a real estate agent on an available property in the area, and he gave me a tour of the empty building. “And so this finest available property Canterlot has to offer! It’s only 20 yards away from the castle, the guard house is just around the corner so this place has pretty much the lowest crime rate in the entire city.” The agent explained.

“Alright, but there’s a slight problem with your statement of this being the finest Canterlot has available.” I said.

“And what might that be?” the agent asked.

“Well first off all, there’s graffiti on the wall. I can’t even read that. I don’t understand graffiti art. Are they trying to give a message to something? Because out of all the ponies I know, I barely know any that can understand this.” I explained.

“You can always have that painted.” The agent said.

“Uh huh, well that’s one problem, but what about the leaky sink in the kitchen?” I asked.

“Call a plumber.” The agent said.

“It’s squirting green water! I mean… green water! Not blue water, not yellow water, not even brown water! I’m not even sure if I’m supposed to be disgusted at all!” I complained.

“Well, look on the bright side: this place comes with chairs that are bolted on the floor.” The agent pointed out.

“Brah, what was this place before it turned into complete garbage?” I asked.

“By the looks of it, it’s either a barber because of the chairs, a sports bar because of all the TVs, a school because of the chalk board, or a funeral home with all the coffins stacked together like that.” The agent pointed out.

“This place is the ugliest place I’ve ever seen!” I complained. “I’ll take it!”

“Alright then! Let me get some paper work and-“ the agent paused for a second because he felt his phone vibrating. He took it out, and read a text that was sent to him. “Oh. Sorry, Mr. Gun. This place was already sold.”

“By who?” I asked.

“By me.” A cavepony said as he walked inside. “Me buy ugly businesses!”

“Oh hey, you’re Ug, aren’t you, from the We Buy Ugly Houses company?” I asked.

“Red pony correct.” Ug said.

“But I thought you buy ugly houses, not ugly businesses?” I asked.

“Me buys ugly buildings in general, ever since we caveponies got fired from Geico advertisements.” Ug said.

“Oh, right. Geico being so easy a cavepony can do it. I miss those commercials.” I said.

“Geico feel they better than us. They sell out Ug, they sell out googley eyed money stack too.” Ug said as he pointed to the googley eyed money stack standing next to him. “We get replaced by hump day camel.”

“What is that?” the real estate agent asked as he pointed to the money.

“That’s the money you could be saving with Geico.” I said. I then started to sing, “I always feel like, somepony’s watching meeee, and no privacy, who-oa.”

“You act like a child, you know that?” the real estate agent asked me.

And so, I continued looking for a spot to settle in, but since I was bored, I turned on my Ipod and played Crazy by Gnarls Barkley, and I sang it out loud. While I was singing it, I was dancing, and swinging on the street posts, and even singing in front of some of the ponies around town, placing arm around them and staring at them with weird expressions. When I was done singing I stood in front of an abandoned shop and peeked inside. "Oh this place might do!" I said. “It does look like there needs to be some renovations, but there’s nothing I can’t handle in here. Handle, like a door handle. Licking door handles is illegal on other planets.”

"Hey you there?" Lyrica Lilac called out.

"Excuse me, sista, but 'YOU' has a name." I said. "Flare Gun's the game, and pizza's my name! Wait, did I say it right? Anyways, I'm just about to look around this empty shop, and maybe this would be my new spot."

"Well I never!" Royal Ribbon commented. "The way you've been acting around here is nonsense!"

"Who do you think you are?" Caesar asked.

"I’ve always pictured myself as an alien from outer space. Lion face.” I teased. “Anyways, I’m thinking of buying this here building and making it the expansion of my restaurant: Flare’s Pizza Parlor!”

"We don't want your kind here." Lyrica said. "All you've been doing is acting like a child!"

"Wow! There sure are alot of unicorns in Canterlot! Way more than Ponyville! Can any of you do Bubble Shield?" I asked as I activated my horn and preformed my bubble shield spell. "Ta da! I had no idea how I did it though; the first time I preformed this. It just happened."

"Like you were unaware of what madness you put through in this town?" Swan Dive asked.

"Hey I remember you! You were that fancy-smancy mare down near the statue. How’s it going?” I asked.

"My boy, Canterlot is for ponies who can act their age." Swan Dive said. "Because of your singing, and your childish puns, it makes the actual children around here take bad influence. Plus, it’s ruining the atmosphere.”

"Nopony in Canterlot really likes to be touched in the way you touched us." Upper Crust said.

"That didn’t sound right at all. You may say you act like adults, but the way you say stuff makes you sound uptight and rude, more than Sheldon Cooper.” I said.

The second part to the Life of Sheldon cutaway gags takes place inside a rent a car driven by John Candy, along with Sheldon Cooper on the passenger seat whom is sleeping. Some ponies driving on another lane tooted their horn at John and his reckless driving. “Hey!” one of the other drivers yelled. John Candy tooted his horn back at them.

“Hey what’s going on?” Sheldon asked.

“Some joker wants to race.” John said.

“You racing?” Sheldon asked as he chuckled sarcastically. “First of all you were listening to loud music a little while ago while I was sleeping, at the same time smoking and driving, so it’s obvious that you failed your DUI test, I’m not sure how you’re driving. Second, your check engine light is on-“

“You kept saying my check engine light was on throughout the whole time we had this car!” John reminded him.

“Also, I believe we’re about to run into two trucks.” Sheldon pointed out. John looked up front and he and Sheldon started screaming as the car squeezed in between the two trucks with the sides flashing sparks as they rubbed against the metal of the trucks. The two continued screaming, and when Sheldon looked at Candy, he was in the form of one of Sheldon’s mortal enemies: Will Wheaten.

“Mwa ha ha ha! I tricked you into thinking my mema was dead! You’re so gullible Sheldon.” He said. Sheldon started screaming louder, even after the car escaped the gap between the two tracks.

“Sheldon what’s your problem? It’s over now.” John asked.

“I am the master of my own bladder.” Sheldon said. The cutaway ends.

"What is wrong with this pony?" Caesar asked.

"He's from Mareami, so I heard." Jet said.

"Wow, I'm becoming famous around here! Well, since you’re all here, who wants to see my flexible arms?” I asked.

"No! Dear heavens! No!” the ponies said all at the same time.

"Wow, you all jinxed it!” I pointed out.

"Here in Canterlot is not a place for slangs, or acting like a child." Swan Dive said.

"And Canterlot is not a place for Changelings either. But they came anyway.” I reminded them.

"They were attacking us." Upper Crust said.

"Look, if you all want to go hating on somepony. Go hate on Psyche, I believe he’s around here somewhere. He comes to Canterlot every so often.” I said.

"Look, what we're trying to say to you is; if you want to stay here in Canterlot and work, then you have to stop acting like a child. Business advice, my good man.” Jet Set said.

"I pitty the fool!" I yelled. "No... wait... I mean, I pitty the child! All your base are belong to us!"

"Just mature up, or leave." Jet Set said as all the fancy Canterlot ponies walked away from me.

"Hey, they're the inmature ones. They should've just been minding their own businesses." I said. "What makes them so butt-hurt of my personality? Lawl! I said butt-hurt! You know how funny that sounds?"

"Yes I do, sir." A fancy looking white unicorn wearing a tuxedo said.

“What? Are you gonna call me a child too now?” I asked.

“No, of course not! I find your personality simply divine.” The pony said.

“That sounds pretty cool! If only I knew what ‘divine’ meant.” I said. “I hear my friend Rarity say that sometimes, and she never told me what it means.

“Hang on, you’re a friend of Rarity? The pony that owns Carousel Boutique over at Ponyville?” the pony asked.

“My, my, a pony with such powerful friends.” A skinny beautiful white unicorn said while standing next to him.

"The name is Fancypants, and this here is my mate, Fleur Dis Le.” The stallion said as he held his hoof out in front of me. “It is a plessure to meet you, Mr….”

"Nice to be met!” I teased. “The name's Flare Gun, and I’m trying to find a place here to set up the expansion to my business.”

“Ah! Sounds like a big responsibility.” Fancypants said.

“Owning Flare’s Pizza Parlor IS a big responsibility.” I said.

“Flare’s Pizza Parlor, huh?” Fancypants asked.

“You ate there before?” I asked.

“I haven’t, but Princess Luna rumors good things about you and that restaurant.” Fancypants said.

“It was because of Princess Luna that I didn’t lose the will to make friends. I still owe her big time.” I said.

“She is quite an amazing princess, if I do say so myself.” Fancypants said.

“I know! But since these antsy Canterlot ponies were harassing me, I’m not sure if I should expand here. Maybe I should just expand in Cloudsdale.” I thought. “No, wait… how do I open a restaurant in a Pegasus only accessed environment?”

"My dear Flare Gun, these bunch of ponies like Jet Set and Upper Crust, they think they’re better than everypony else, don’t listen to them. Canterlot is more than just those bunch of ponies. Some ponies come from here, and they don’t act like bullies towards outsiders. In fact, there are some ponies here that act no different from you.” Fancypants said.

“So they act like children, huh?” I asked.

“Well, that is one way of looking at it, but my point is, you shouldn’t let them bother you. You should them what you’re made of! Show them you don’t want to get pushed around like this! Show them your style!” Fancypants instructed me.

"You’re right, Fancy-smancy panties-wanties- oh, do you mind if I call you that?” I asked.

“Not at all!” Fancypants said.

“I kinda like that sound of that.” Fleur Dis Le said.

“I’ll show those fancy ponies what it means to feel dat Mareami heat! They want child? I’ll show them child! Thank you for your advice, brah! I promise I’ll make it up to you in any way I can!” I promised.

"You're quite welcome, my friend! But… there is one thing I’d like you to do for me.” Fancypants said.

“Sure! Whatever you want!” I listened.

“Never stop being yourself, Mr. Gun. Never stop being yourself.” Fancypants said.

“Is there any other alternative? That doesn’t sound much of a favor to me. I still owe you one.” I said.

“Well, if you really insist. “ Fancypants said mischievously. Later that night, Fancypants and I started egging and throwing toilet paper at Filthy Rich’s house. “Like that, you Filthy Rich?! Next time you’ll think twice before dumping your trash in my swimming pool!” Fancypants yelled.

“Isn’t it a waste of baby chickens and trees to be messing up somepony’s mansion?” I asked.

“Oh relax, they’re griffon eggs, and these toilet papers are from highway rest stop bathrooms.” Fancypants corrected me as he continued egging and throwing toilet paper at the house. I just dropped everything and snuck away before the police come. I don’t think anyone has ever seen this side of Fancypants before, and it seemed weird, but that advice he gave me sounded like a good idea. I shouldn’t let the Canterlot ponies bother me, I should show them what I’m made of. So I returned to my trailer, and the first thing I did was look through my dresser. Spike came to visit shortly after.

“Hey, Flare! They’re having Double E-X-P week on Star Wars: The Old Republic right now. Care to join?” Spike asked.

“Sorry, brah. I’m right now planning a scheme to show those Canterlot ponies what I’m made of.” I said as I took out one of my blue vests from the dresser, but the vest was shorter than all the other vests that I normally wear.

“Are you giving me one of your foal vests?” Spike asked.

“What? No!” I said.

“Oh, cause I think I’d look pretty good in them. Combined with my trendy sunglasses, and my collection of toothpicks, I think I’d win over Rarity faster than a vampire can win over a human.” Spike said.

“Twilight’s a stupid saga.” I said.

“I wasn’t talking about Twilight. I was talking about Warm Bodies. You know, the movie with Johnny Depp in it? The movie that came from a soap-opera?” Spike asked.

“Oh right. Yeah, even that story was a better love story than Twilight.” I said.

“So anyways, why are you going through your foal clothes?” Spike asked.

"Everypony in Canterlot kept calling me a child, brah.” I said.

"So?" Spike asked.

"Do you think I'm a child, Spike?" I asked.

"Are you kidding, Flare? Everypony in Ponyville thinks you act like a child!" Spike said.

"That's a lie!" I yelled.

"Yeah it was." Spike teased. "But there were some ponies who said that."

"Who?" I asked.

"A couple of ponies." Spike said.

"Who?" I asked.

"Now you're sounding like Owlowiscious." Spike said.

"Who?" I asked again.

"Why do you have to do that?" Spike asked.

"Why?" I asked.

"Yeah, why?" Spike asked again.

"What?" I asked.

"What?" Spike asked.

"When?"

"Where?"

"How?"

"What?"

"We used 'what' already, now we have to use something else." I said.

"What are we doing again?" Spike asked.

"You tell me." I said.

"What are you talking about?" Spike asked.

Just then, I placed green and white striped propeller hat on his head. "Do I look like a child to you?" I asked.

"Yeah, pretty much." Spike said as he observes me. "But what are you gonna do about your size? You're pretty tall."

"I'm big for my age. How about that?" I suggested.

"So now that you're a foal again, what are you gonna do?" Spike asked.

"Well, I do what all foals do! I play and go to school, even though I don’t want to, and I give the teacher pathetic excuses about my pet dragon eating all of my homework.” I said.

"What about your shop?" Spike asked.

"Lyra and Bonnie should be fine without me." I said.

A cutaway shows Lyra and Bonnie going through my office supplies. "Why does Flare get to have fun all the time while we're stuck watching his shop?" Lyra asked.

"Who cares? With him gone, we get to do whatever we want!” Bonnie said. “Look at this! How many cough drops can one pony have?”

“Flare does cough a lot.” Lyra said.

“Yeah, but look at this; there’s also a… an M&M with a bunch of ants on it, there are some mints, an empty bag of Fritos, why is there a fishing lure in here? I didn’t even know Flare fishes. Anyways, what did you find, Lyra?” Bonnie asked.

“I found Spock’s head with no body, there’s Mr. T’s body with no head… oh here it is! Spock’s body with Mr. T’s head!” Lyra said as she takes out the Spock-Mr. T action figure and mimics Mr. T’s voice: “I pity the fool who’s illogical!” they both chuckled. The cutaway ends.

“So, Flare. How do you purpose to go through with this?” Spike asked.

“I’ll have my ways. Foals normally say and think nonsense, and everypony knows I’m the best at making nonsense, so I have the makings of a great foal!” I said.

“I’ll take your word on it.” Spike said. “But maybe being a foal here would be different than the foals back at Mareami.”

I stopped what I was doing and thought of what Spike said. “You know what, Spike? You’re right!”

“Of course I am! I’m a genius. I graduated school at a pretty young age, just like Twilight.” Spike said.

“I know next to nothing about being a Ponyville foal. I think I may need some teachers. Then that’ll show those ponies who doubted me what a child really is!” I said.

“Who’s gonna teach you?” Spike asked.

“I think I know of a few fillies that might be able to fill that spot!” I nodded.

The next morning came. The Cutie Mark Crusaders were hanging out in their tree house, thinking of ways to get their cutie marks. "I've got it!" Scootaloo yelled. "Let's travel around the world! We'll get travel cutie marks!"

"Hmmm..." Sweetie Belle thought. "Nah."

"Can you think of something better?" Scootaloo asked.

"How about we stay out in the sun longer than any other pony?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"You think that'll work?" Scootaloo asked. "All we'll get is sun burn."

"And a cutie mark maybe!” Sweetie Belle said. “Besides, by the looks of your skin, you’re already suntan.”

"I got it!" Apple Bloom yelled. "We should try making a TV show!"

"A TV show?" Scoots asked.

"Yeah!" Apple Bloom said. "If we became famous on TV, we can have our cutie marks by being famous!"

"That sounds like fun! Let's do it!" Sweetie Belle yelled excitedly.

"I don't know, girls." Scootaloo doubted.

"C'mon, Scoots!" Apple Bloom begged. "This isn’t just a chance of getting our cutie marks, this is our chance to shine as well!"

"Yeah, Scootaloo! It'll be fuuuuuuuuun!” Sweetie Belle said.

“Well…” Scootaloo thought to herself, but as she was thinking, the CMCs heard a knock on the door.

Knock, knock, knock; “Apple Bloom?” Knock, knock, knock; “Sweetie Belle?” Knock, knock, knock; “Scootaloo?”

“That doesn’t sound like AppleJack. It’s mostly only AppleJack or Rainbow Dash that knock at this door.” Apple Bloom said.

“Doesn’t sound like another foal either.” Sweetie Belle.

“Trust me, it’s a foal.” I said from the other side of the door.

Sweetie Belle opens the door and is the first to greet me, "Hiya, Flare!"

"Sup sistas?” I asked.

"What brings you here?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Well my dear Sweetie Belle, that... is a long story." I said.

"Come on in, Flare! Let's hear it!" Apple Bloom said.

“Thank you, Apple Bloom!” I said as I walked inside.

“So what do you wanna tell us?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Excuse me, I’m a welcomed guest, are you gonna ask me to take a seat?” I asked.

The CMCs looked at eachother awkwardly. “Sure, Flare, take a seat.”

“Alright thank you! Although I never been here before, I have to choose a spot. Even though it looks like there’s only limited seating available. You really need more furniture.” I commented.

“Don’t worry about the furniture, Flare. What do you need?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“It’s a long story.” I said.

“Let’s hear it.” Apple Bloom requested.

"Everypony in Canterlot thinks I'm a child. The end." I said.

"That wasn't a long story." Scootaloo said.

"It felt long to me.” I said, I then smiled and said, “That’s what she said!” I started laughing.

"What in the hay does that mean?” Apple Bloom asked.

"My dear Apple Bloom. You'll find out some day!" I said as I patted her on the head.

"So why does everypony in Canterlot think you're a child?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Because they think I do childish stuff." I said. "So if I just act like a child, I'll show them what a REAL child can be!"

"So you came to us for advice?” Scootaloo asked.

"You read me like Fluttershy reads her spell books, sista!” I said.

"Twilight reads spell books, not Fluttershy." Sweetie Belle said.

"Well how am I supposed to know? I’m a foal, I don’t know better.” I said.

"So if you're a child again, what are ya gonna do?" Apple Bloom asked.

"Well... what do you girls like to do for fun?" I asked.

"We try different activities and try to get us to earn our cutie mark!” Scootaloo said.

“And today, we’re gonna try to get them by being TV stars!” Sweetie Belle said excitedly.

"That sounds like fun! Sign me up!" I requested.

"But you have your cutie mark already." Sweetie Belle pointed out.

“Yeah so?” I asked.

“To become a Cutie Mark Crusader, you need to be a blank flank.” Apple Bloom said.

“Alrighty then! Sounds simple!” I said. I looked around the room and ironically, I found red point in the corner, so I took a brush, dipped it in the paint jar, and painted it over my computer mouse cutie mark on each side of my waist. "You were saying?" I asked.

"You just put red paint on them." Scootaloo pointed out.

"Your point?" I asked.

"That was my point." Scootaloo said.

"Look it doesn't matter! Let's just go looking for our destinies!" I yelled in excitement.

"Yeah!" the CMCs all yelled as we all hoof bumped eachother, and I ran outside, but unaware I was in a treehouse so I fell to the ground. “I’m alright! This bush broke my fall! Why am I so itchy? Girls, what kind of blush is one three leaves on each branch?”

"Seriously? What has gotten into him?" Scootaloo asked.

“I’m not sure, but ah believe he’s goin’ through a mental breakout. AppleJack told me ‘bout one those. AppleJack went through that once when Big Mac hurt his waist and wasn't able to help her in Applebucking Season. Mental breakdowns ain’t pretty, especially with Flare.” Apple Bloom said.

“So what are we gonna do? We have a full grown stallion hanging out with us, and he’s acting like a foal.” Sweetie Belle asked.

“AppleJack said the breakdowns don’t normally last long. He’ll feel better before it’s time for school. Let’s just keep him happy. It’s not every day a full grown stallion would get to live his younger years.” Apple Bloom said.

“Well… alright, but every time I see that pony, he just gets weirder and weirder.” Scootaloo said.

“And it’s not that way with Pinkie Pie?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“Good point.” Scootaloo said.

“I think I may need some Neosporin!” I yelled out from outside. “Holy Wizard of Feelings! My skin is burning! It’s turning red!”

“You were always red!” Scootaloo corrected me.

“Oh. Hey, c’mon! Let’s find our destinies already!” I yelled out.

“I have the feeling this is gonna be a loooooong day.” Scoots said. “Almost as long as the time I had that elephant roommate.”

A cutaway shows Scootaloo in a towel, and about to take a shower, but when she opens the curton, she sees her elephant friend sticking his head through the wall. Scootaloo screams in freight.

“Aaaaaaaaaah! Why you screaming?” the elephant asked.

“What are you doing?!” Scootaloo yelled.

“Sticking my head through the wall, what are you doing?” the elephant asked.

“About to take a shower? Do you mind?” Scootaloo asked.

“I’m sorry, but this room I’m in is so tight. It was either stick my head through the shower wall, or stick my feet through your room, and I see you have pretty cool stuff in there, so I decided to go with the head in the bathroom wall.” The elephant said.

“I don’t mind you doing this at night, but for now, I need to use the shower.” Scootaloo said.

“I don’t think that’s gonna happen. You see… my head is sticking out at the spot the shower is supposed to be, sooooo… the shower’s pretty much broken right now.” The elephant said.

“You’re kidding me.” Scootaloo said annoyingly.

“Hey if you want, you can use my nose as a shower. One of the pipes is actually inside one of my ears right now, so I’ll pretty much have endless amount of water coming out of my nose.” The elephant said.

“Are you mad? I’m not showering with you staring at me!” Scootaloo yelled.

“Relax, what do you have to hide? You never wear clothes.” The elephant reminded her.

“I just don’t like being stared at when I’m handling business in the bathroom, alright?” Scootaloo asked.

“The Flintstones don’t have a problem with it.” The elephant said.

“I only don’t have a problem with it because there are no showers where I am. I don’t have any other alternative.” Fred Flintstone said as he entered the room.

“Why does he get to be in here?” the elephant complained.

“He doesn’t. Both of you, leave!” Scootaloo demanded. The cutaway ends.

So the crusaders and I started walking around the outside of town, thinking of what to do. “So how about that TV show idea?” Sweetie Belle asked. I chuckled sarcastically. “What’s so funny?”

“It’s funny how three fillies can think of something that expensive.” I said.

“What do you mean?” Scoots asked.

“Well, you’ll need some equipment like cameras, a microphone, editing software, make-up, a crew, it’s gonna cost thousands of bits to require it all.” I explained.

“Well, I’m glad we learned that.” Scootaloo said sarcastically.

“Was that sarcasm?” I asked.

“Of course it was sarcasm! What else could it be?” Scootaloo asked.

“For all I know, you could’ve been hung over when you said that.” I said.

"What you think, Flare? How do you think we should earn our cutie marks?” Apple Bloom asked.

“I have one thing we can do. Follow me.” I said as I started walking towards the Ponyville digsite. The crusaders followed me through the digsite, and they were pretty concerned on where we were going.

“Where are we goin’?” Apple Bloom asked.

"You'll see!" I said.

"Do you even know where you're going?" Scootaloo asked.

"You'll see!" I said.

"That's not a 'you'll see' question, it's a 'yes' or 'no' question." Scootaloo corrected me.

"Here we are!" I said as I pointed to a cave with a sign that says Ponyville Mines.

"The Ponyville Mines?" Apple Bloom asked.

"Spike discovered this place a while ago, and he took me with him here so we can have a little fun!” I said. I then frowned quickly. “That didn’t sound right.”

"What kind of fun?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"All sorts!" I said as I lead the Crusaders down in the mines. "And that didn’t sound right either. Sometimes we come down to hunt for gems, underground products that are perfect to make spices for my pizzas, we prank the Diamond Dogs, and let's not forget the beautiful spring waters they have down here!"

“Is it drinkable?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“Of course it’s drinkable, Sweetie Belle! It’s spring water!” Scootaloo corrected her.

“C’mon, girls! Let’s walk down the shtairs, shtairs, shtairs, and I’ll show you what it truly means to feel like a foal.” I insisted. So the Crusaders and I started walking down the mine stairs and we ended up in a cavern filled with gems and a water fall with a small river.

"Wow!" the Crusaders said at the same time, as they were shocked on the beautiful view of the caverns. Their eyes grew as they saw the gems and the spring waterfall up ahead.

"This place is beautiful, Flare!" Sweetie Belle said. "Rarity would sure love it down here!"

"Yeah, but what does this have to do for earning our cutie marks?" Scootaloo asked.

"Are we minin'?" Apple Bloom asked.

"This is mine! Lawl!" I teased. "No, but seriously these mines haven't been used in ages, so they said. But I don't come down here to mine." I then walked over to a mine cart track with a couple of mine carts in place.

"You come down here to ride the mine carts?" Scootaloo guessed. "That is so awesome!"

“I didn’t say I rode mine carts down here.” I corrected her.

“Oh… I see.” Scootaloo said as her excitement level dropped entirely.

“But I do!” I said excitedly.

“Wow! That is so awesome! I normally don’t say things like this, but you really got me there!” Scootaloo chuckled a bit.

"I don't just ride them. Sometimes I surf these carts! Have you guys heard of Cart Surfing?" Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom shook their heads.

“I have!” Scootaloo said excitedly.

"Well, then let me show you girls a good time!" I offered as I hopped on one of the mien carts, and Scootaloo followed.

"I dunno, Flare." Apple Bloom said. "It doesn't look safe."

"Oh you and your safety, Apple Bloom." Scootaloo teased. "Flare certainly has the right idea! Cart surfing might be a perfect way to get our cutie marks!"

“Or just to have fun in general.” I added.

“Or just to have fun in general!” Scootaloo nodded.

“I just said that.” I reminded her.

"But aren't you afraid to fall off the ledge or get hurt?" Apple Bloom asked.

"Hey, if that were the case I wouldn't be cart surfing now would it?” I asked.

“He’s got a point there, Apple Bloom.” Scootaloo said.

"But these tunnels are just tunnels, nothing to fall into. All you have to do is do a couple of tricks, and watch for the signs so you'll know to turn left or right." I explained.

"It'll be awesome making tricks in these mine carts!" Scootaloo said.

"Tricks? Silly Scootaloo! Tricks are for kids!" I teased.

"Aren't we kids?" Scootaloo asked.

"That's why we're doing this! Mischievious face!" I reminded her.

"Are you sure you want to do this Scoots?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Hey, I've been through worse. This is gonna be fun!" Scootaloo said.

"Now you got it, sista!" I agreed with her as Scootaloo and I high-hoofed.

"Ah what the hay. It does sound fun!" Sweetie Belle said as as she hops on the mine cart with us. "C'mon Apple Bloom!"

"Ah-ah don't think it's safe." Apple Bloom said.

"C'mon! It'll be fun!" Scootaloo said.

“Wish I had a bit every time you said it’ll be fun.” I said.

"AppleJack won't like it." Apple Bloom said.

"Hey, if you get punished, it'll be worth it! You'll be safe." Scootaloo said.

"Please, Apple Bloom?" Sweetie Belle asked. “We don’t want you to feel left out.”

“Hey, listen to you, Sweetie Belle. Talking for all of us. You don’t know what I want.” I corrected her. “But you’re right I do want that.” Apple Bloom just stood there nervously. She then sighs and smiled.

"Okay. LET'S DO THIS!" Apple Bloom yelled. We all cheered for Apple Bloom as she hopped onto the mine cart with us. I then used my horn magic to push the mine cart down the tracks to start up the ride. The mine cart started moving, but slowly, for now.

"Please keep your hooves and legs inside the cart at all times, and please watch your foals. Thank you!" I said in an announcer’s voice.

"Take it away, Flare!" Sweetie Belle said.

"Yeah take it away mon, it's gonna be a bumpy ride!" I said in a Jamaican accent. I then used my magic to increase the speed of the cart. The cart started moving real fast like a rollercoaster, and Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle and I had our hooves up as we were riding down the tracks. Apple Bloom was still a little frightened to put their hooves up, so she was holding on tight to the edges of the cart. After a little while, I saw another mine cart in front of us. I jumped onto the other mine cart and rode it down as the Crusaders watched. “Don’t try this at home, kids.” I said as I started surfing on that mine cart, preforming different tricks, such as spins and flips, and even tilting the cart off the tracks.

“Whoa! Flare Gun’s got some moves!” Scootaloo said impressively.

“That I didn’t know I had, but feeling like a kid again puts out of the best of you it seems!” I said.

“Ya know, you’re right! This is really fun! Gets the adrenaline running! WOOOO!” Apple Bloom yelled excitedly with her hooves in the air. Eventually the mine carts stopped at the end of the track.

“Please collect your belongings as you exit the cart. Have a nice day!” I said in a announcer voice again. The Crusaders and I all hop out of the mine carts and cheered.

"WOOOOO! THAT WAS AWESOME!" Scootaloo yelled.

"OOOH YEAH!" Apple Bloom yelled.

"I FELT SO ALIVE!" Sweetie Belle yelled.

“I FEEL MY STOMACH ACHING SO BAD RIGHT NOW! WOOOOO!” I yelled.

Just then the four of us took out doggy bags and all threw up inside them. As we all threw the bags away in the trash and started laughing. A picture then came out of the slot next to us. I took the picture out of the slot and showed it to the Crusaders.

"Aw man, my eyes are closed!" Scootaloo complained after looking at the picture.

"Wow! We look great!" Sweetie Belle commented on the picture. "We should totally ride it again!"

"Ah wish we could Sweetie Belle. But we have school, rememeber?" Apple Bloom reminded them.

"Forget school! Flare's an awesome child!" Scootaloo cheered.

"Trust me, our sisters would kill us if we weren't in school today." Sweetie Belle said.

"It's true, Sisterless Sam!" Apple Bloom teased Scootaloo as her and Sweetie Belle laughed.

Scootaloo started getting angry. "I never even told you if I had a sister or not."

"Ya never talk about her." Apple Bloom reminded her.

"Hey, hey. No need to argue. Let's just head over to the school! The four of us!" I said.

"Why you coming?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"I'm a kid again, remember? If I'm a kid again I'm supposed to go to school.” I reminded them.

"Well, alright. That sounds pretty fun!" Sweetie Belle said.

"I’m certainly gonna less than three reliving school as much as I loved reliving puberty.” I said.

A cutaway shows me helping Pinkie Pie out in decorating Sugarcube Corner for a party coming up later on. “Hey, Flare? You wanna do something cool?” Pinkie asked.

“I always do things cool, but the more the merrier. What is it?” I asked.

“Put your mouth at the end of this balloon blower.” Pinkie instructed.

“Like this?” I asked as I placed the bottom of the balloon near my mouth.

“Now untie the bottom.” Pinkie instructed.

“With the balloon still in my mouth?” I asked.

“DO IT, FILLY!” Pinkie yelled. So I did what she said, and placed the balloon end in my mouth and untied it. The helium started blowing into my mouth.

“Whoa, Pinkie! That’s some strong stuff!” I said in a high pitched voice. “Holy Wizard of Strength, YOU TURNED ME INTO A GIRL!”

Pinkie started laughing. “You sound like a pretty filly, Flare!”

“WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?!” I yelled in Pinkie’s face.

“Relax, Flare. Results may very.” Pinkie said.

“I DON’T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!” I yelled, but when I said ‘that means’, my voice turned back to normal again.

“See? Told you!” Pinkie said.

“Wow, I relived puberty again.” I said shockingly. “You know, Pinkie. Balloons are a silly type of birthday item. You go to somepony and say, ‘Hello, friend! Here’s a rubber ball filled with my oxygen’. Who would want used oxygen?” The cutaway ends.

As time went by, we all walked to the Ponyville school. All the fillies and colts were playing outside at this time, and it was a few minutes till class. "Going to school sounds wicket sick, and I mean that in a good way!" I said.

"If you say so, Flare. But just to let you know, most of the foals in our class have their cutie marks already, and that’s pretty much of a downhill for us; especially during kickball when we get chosen last.” Apple Bloom explained.

"And let's not forget Diamond Tiara, and Silver Spoon!" Scootaloo added.

"Why do you gals dislike them so much? There's nothing wrong with Crystal Hat or Gray Shovel." I corrected them.

The Crusaders then all laughed at my joke. "Crystal Hat and Gray Shovel. We should totally call them that." Sweetie Belle suggested.

"Hey guys!" Twist greeted us.

"Hey, Twist!" Apple Bloom said happily. Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo gave her an ugly look on their faces, and I was picking his nose.

"What?" Twist asked.

"What, what?" Apple Bloom asked.

"Why do your friends always look at me like that?” Twist asked. Apple Bloom looked over at her friends, and they just smiled big with their teeth showing.

“Ah’m not sure what ya mean, Twist.” Apple Bloom said.

"How ya doin, Flare?" Twist asked me.

"I'm doing great, Twister!" I said. "After those Canterlot folks kept calling me a kid, I'm gonna act like one. See how they like it?”

"Alright, that's cool!" Twist said excitedly.

"Ah’ll see ya in class, Twist!” Apple Bloom said.

"Alright, see you guys there!" Twist said as she trotted away.

"I don't like her." Sweetie Belle said.

"Me neither." Scootaloo agreed.

"Aw c'mon girls, she's friendly. She's mah best friend." Apple Bloom said.

"I thought we were your best friends?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Yeah! What gives, Apple Bloom?" I complained. The Crusaders all looked at me awkwardly. "What?"

"Look, Twist is a cool filly. Ya just gotta get used to her." Apple Bloom said.

“Why do you hang with us all the time now instead of her then?” Scootaloo asked.

“We’re the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and Twist already has her’s.” Apple Bloom explained.

"Well, well, well! Look what we have here! The three blank flanks." Diamond Tiara shows up and teases them.

Her and Silver Spoon started to laugh, and they started hoof bumping and flank bumping themselves and said, “Bump, bump, sugar-rump, lump!”

“Bump, bump- wait, what?” I asked.

"Why are the three of you so dirty? Go cart surfing in the mines or something?” Silver Spoon teased.

“As a matter of fact we did! We went cart surfing with our good friend Flare here!” Scootaloo said.

“Oh, Flare. We didn’t see you there.” Diamond Tiara said as she embarrassingly smiles at me.

“Nice rhyme! So hey, my friends here say you two are giving them a hard time. Ooo rhyme again! And I gotta ask… why?” I asked. “Why do you girls have to keep teasing them?"

"Oh we're just kidding around, right Silver Spoon?" Diamond Tiara lied.

"Absolutely!" Silver Spoon nodded with a squee.

"What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at your pizza shop?” Diamond Tiara asked.

"Well the jerks over at Canterlot kept calling me a child, so I decided to become one.” I explained. "So yeah, you can tease me now too. Don't worry, I know it's all in good fun!"

Diamond and Silver both looked at eachother awkwardly. "Oooookay." Diamond said confusingly. "Umm, ha ha… Flare Gun's a blank flank. He's too old for… school?"

"WHAT?" I yelled angrily. "WHY I OUTTA!" Just then, I pushed Diamond Tiara over, and I grabbed her with my magic and trapped her on a high tree branch.

"But I hate heights!" Diamond Tiara yelled, and then she started crying. "HELP! HELP!"

"You’re right, she’s not a very nice filly.” I said to the Crusaders. I then smirked over at Silver Spoon. “You have anything to say, Gray Shovel?”

"No, no, nothing here. I find what you’re doing inspirational!” Silver Spoon lied as she was scared for her life.

"Wait until my father hear’s about this when he comes back after his lawsuit trial with Fancypants!” Diamond yelled. Just then, all the foals started cheering for me.

"Wow that was amazing, Flare!" Apple Bloom said excitedly. "She's certainly been a pain in our rear ends since day one!"

"You sure showed them!" Scootaloo said.

"Nopony likes a bully you know. I’ve had a bunch of bullies back in Mareami." I said. "Now give me your lunch money!" I demanded from Sweetie Belle.

A few minutes later the bell rang and everypony headed inside the school to get class started. Twist was about to get to her seat, but then I took it right before she sat down. "Hey, that's my seat!" Twist yelled.

“It’s not, it's my spot now! All other seats contain a draft from the windows, and that one has gum under the desk.” I explained. Snips started to whistle embarrassingly.

"Was that really necessary, Flare?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Sorry, here you go Twist, you want your seat back?” I asked as I stood up but the desk was stuck on my waist. “I’ll just sit over there and freeze to death over the drafts and get sick over the gum under the desk.”

“No, no, it’s alright. I’m good here.” Twist said as she sat down on the desk with the gum.

“See? She’s good over there.” I said to Apple Bloom.

“Ah heard what she said, Flare.” Apple Bloom informed me with glare.

"Good morning class!" Cheerilee said as she walked inside the classroom.

"Good morning, Miss Cheerilee!" everypony said.

"I hope you’re all feeling well, because today we’re learning- Oh, hello Flare!" Cheerilee said as she spotted me. "What brings you here today?"

"I have come before you today to learn the basics of young foal education, as you may be aware, I turned in my résumé to attend in your educational activities, because I wish learn to whatever a foal needs to learn.” I explained.

"I'm sorry?” Cheerilee asked.

"I'm in your class now." I said.

"You're in my class now?" Cheerilee asked.

"Affermative!” I said.

"Why?” Cheerilee asked.

"Do you not want me here?” I asked.

"I didn’t say that, I just wanted a reason for you coming back to school?" Cheerilee asked.

"I'm here to show those ponies in Canterlot what it means to be a child, because they kept saying I am one!" I yelled as I slammed onto my desk.

"So let me get this straight, you're here because everypony in Canterlot kept calling you a child?" Cheerilee asked.

"I'm here to show them what it means to be a child!" I said. I turned over to Featherweight, and I placed my hoof on his stomach. "Hey dude, you have something right here." Featherweight looked down, and then I zipped my hoof up to Featherweight's nose. "Mage'a look! Lawl!”

"Ow! That hurt!" Featherweight whined.

"Sorry about that, I'm just trying to be a kid again, and acting inmature is the way to go, or so it says on my research." I said.

"Oh okay! That's fine." Featherweight said.

“No it’s not fine.” Cheerilee said. “Flare, if you want to stay in this class, at least follow the rules. Don’t bully other students, because then I’d have to send you home.”

“No, Miss Cheerilee! Don’t send me home! I’ll be a good boy! I promise!” I begged.

“Well, to all my students on their first days, I always leave them off with a first warning.” She said.

“Thank you, Miss Cheerilee! I really appreciate it.” I said happily.

“This is certainly gonna be a long day.” She said to herself.

And so, Cheerilee started teaching to the class anyway, even with me there. Before I went to see the Cutie Mark Crusaders thing morning, I did some research on how children are supposed to act, and I got a lot of interesting info by watching Hey Arnold, and Beavis and Butt-head. I went and shot a spitball at Dinky Doo without anypony seeing. Dinky looked back at me and glared.

"What?" I whispered.

"Did you throw a spitball at me?" Dinky whispered back.

"No, I did not THROW a spitball at you." I whispered.

"Yes you did I saw you!" Dinky whispered.

"What's going on?" Cheerilee asked.

"Flare threw a spitball at me!" Dinky whined.

"I swear, I did not THROW a spitball at her." I said.

"Yes you did!" Dinky yelled. "You put an icky piece of wrapped up paper in your mouth, put it on a straw and shot at me with it!"

"Yes I did that." I nodded.

"Then why did you keep saying you didn’t?” Cheerilee asked.

"Because I did not THROW a spitball at her, I SHOT a spitball at her. That's different.” I corrected her.

"Ooooooh. I get it, you SHOT a spitball at me, not THREW." Dinky laughed. "Silly me!”

"Any child of Derpy is definitely a silly one!” I said.

“Why does everypony think Derpy’s my mom?” Dinky asked.

“Isn’t that true?” I asked.

“No, Derpy’s my aunt. Golden Harvest is mom, and Written Script is my dad.” Dinky said.

“Since when were Derpy and Golden Harvest related?” I asked.

“Flare, if you don’t mind, I’d like to continue the class, if you please.” Cheerilee asked as she started to get impatient.

More time went by, and everypony was doing a pop quiz. These questions were pretty easy for me, so I finished earlier than everyone else. I started whispering to Berry Pinch cause I was bored.

"Hey, I know your mom Berry Punch." I whispered to her.

"That's nice. I'm trying to work here." Berry Pinch whispered back.

"I'll give you the answer to number five if you have lunch with me." I whispered.

"No, thank you." She whispered back.

"Please?" I asked.

"I already have the answer to number five." She whispered back.

"How do you know if it's correct?" I asked.

"Because I don't interrupt classmates, unlike you." Berry Pinch said.

"So are you gonna have lunch with me?” I asked again. Berry Pinch just stayed silent and ignored me, so I kept trying to get her attention somehow. "Hey Pinchy? Pinchy, pinchy? Pinchy, pinchy, pincheeeeeey!" I attempted to pinch Berry Pinch, but I just remembered I had no fingers. I decided to leave her alone, and go to the next filly, Tornado Bolt. I moved my head over towards Tornado Bolt’s papers, and peeked at her answers.

"Do you mind?" Tornado Bolt asked as she blocked her paper.

"No, not at all!" I said.

"I mean, can you stop peeking at my paper?" Tornado asked.

"Of course I can!" I said as I smiled and squeed.

"Well?" Tornado asked.

"Well what?" I asked.

"Are you gonna go?" Tornado asked.

"Why?" I asked.

"Was I not clear?" Tornado asked.

"How am I supposed to know what color you were before?" I asked.

Tornado Bolt started getting really angry, and she slammed her head on her desk. I just awkwardly backed away. No need for other students to beat themselves up over my nonsense. I then turned over to Apple Bloom, whom was behind me.

"Pssst! Bloom?" I whispered.

"Not now, Flare." Apple Bloom said.

"Pssst! Bloom?" I whispered.

"I said not now." Apple Bloom repeated herself.

"Psssst! Bloom?" I repeated myself.

"Flare, I'm busy right now." Apple Bloom whispered.

"Psssst! Bloom?" I whispered again about 20 seconds later.

"Oh for Celestia's sake! What?" Apple Bloom yelled whisperly as she slammed her pencil on her desk. Wait, can you yell whisperly? I didn’t think it was possible.

"Hi! Lion face." I teased her.

Apple Bloom then gave me a glare. “Really, Flare? Really?”

"Seriously, may I have your answers? I can't guess them, they're too hard." I requested.

"I can't help you. This is a quiz; it's cheating." Apple Bloom said.

"Of course you CAN help me, you just choose not to." I corrected her.

"I'm not allowed to give you the answers." Apple Bloom said.

"Pleeeeeeeeease? I’ll be your best friend! No, wait, we’re already best friends. I’ll be your bestest friend!” I offered.

"Ah like you, Flare, but you’re really starin’ to get on mah nerves.” Apple Bloom said.

"Alright, quizes in please." Cheerilee requested.

"See? Now ya weren't able to finish your test, because of your procrastination." Apple Bloom said.

"What are you talking about?" I asked as I held my quiz sheet in front of Apple Bloom’s face. "I finished. See?"

"But ah thought you said you wanted mah answers because they were too hard?" Apple Bloom thought.

"Hard for you, but not to me!" I corrected her.

"You’re unbelievable, Flare!" Apple Bloom said annoyingly.

"Am I, Apple Bloom? Am I?” I asked.

“Ah’ll see ya at lunch.” Apple Bloom said with an attitude as she went over to Cheerilee to give her her test. Her her, sounds silly when you say the same word twice in a row.

After a little while, it was lunch time. The Crusaders were all outside eating their lunches, and Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon showed up to bully the crusaders, but then I came bursting out with my lunch and walked passed the two. “Excuse me, ladies.” I said as I walked by Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. The two of them got scared and hid behind the tree as I sat down next to the CMCs.

"I didn't know Flare could be so mean. That jerk!" Diamond Tiara said. "We have to do something, Silver Spoon."

"What is there to do?" Silver Spoon asked. "He's a full-grown stallion."

"No he's not. He's a foal." Diamond Tiara corrected her. “I’m not sure what his problem is, but we should lay low until he gets tired of this and leaves.”

"So what do you girls have for lunch?" I asked the Crusaders.

"Flower sandwich again?" Sweetie Belle complained.

"Egg salad?” Apple Bloom complained.

"Spinach salad again!” Scootaloo complained. The crusaders all were grossed out by their lunches, and they all just threw them in the trash.

A mare popped out of the trash bin with the lunches the crusaders threw away, and she asked, “Why throw your food away?”

“We’re not gonna eat it.” The crusaders said at the same time.

“But somepony will!” the mare said.

“Huh?” the crusaders asked.

“You can sell your lunch at lunchbay.com!” the mare said.

“Lunch bay?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Dot com?” Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo asked.

The mare in the trash bin takes out her laptop and observes the website to the crusaders. “Just enter the food you wanna sell, and wait for foals all over the world to bid!” she explained.

“But who would wanna bid on mah egg salad?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Or my flower sandwich?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“Or my spinach salad?” Scootaloo asked.

“Stupid foals! That’s who!” the mare said as she looks at the target audience.

“Oooooooh!” the crusaders all nodded.

“And the foal who bids the most on your nasty food, buys it!” the mare said.

“Wow!” the crusaders said excitedly.

Just then, a week later, a filly over at Manehatten opens up a package she just got in the mail, and she takes out Sweetie Belle’s moldy flower sandwich, and she got excited. “I got a flower sandwich!” the mail pony gave a disgusting look.

Meanwhile, a colt in Fillydelphia also contains a package, and he opens it excitedly. “I purchased spinach AND egg salad!” he said. The mail pony nods at the camera creepily.

“Lunchbay.com! The convenient way to sell your disgusting lunch items!” the TV announcer says in the background.

“And make money!” Apple Bloom added.

“Dot com!” the colt from Fillydelphia said excitedly as he started eating Apple Bloom’s moldy and smelly egg salad. The cutaway ends. Oh wait, did I mention this was a cutaway gag? No? Well, you know now, so let’s return to me sitting at lunch with the CMCs.

"If you don’t like what your mom gives you, why not ask for something else?” I asked them.

“I pack my own lunch.” Scootaloo said.

“What do you have for lunch, Flare?” Sweetie Belle asked.

"One of my customers didn’t finish his eggplant dish, so I brought it home and saved it for lunch today.” I said as I took the eggplant out of my lunch bucket (that’s right, I called it a lunch bucket), and showed it to the CMCs.

“Eww! That’s disgusting!” Scootaloo commented.

“So, Flare, what are your plans after school?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“Ever since a few nights ago, I’ve been listening to the song: Duel of the Fates from Star Wars, and I’ve been trying to guess what the chorus was saying.” I said.

A cutaway shows me listening to Duel of the Fates on my computer, while I sang what I guessed the chorus was singing. Here’s what I heard by singing it out loud: “Corn ooooof, Canadaaaaaaaa; you trrrrrrry… tunaaaaaaa. Totaaaaaaal… cereallllllll… comes from aaaaaaaa… milk coooooow. Totaaaaaal… teacuuuuuup… comes from a- Total, cereal, total, comes from, Cyborg, Jesus, Total, comes from, totaaaaaaaal, Draculaaaaaaaa, TOTAAAAAAAL! Milk cow fuuuuuuuuun!” I tilted my head back and forth as I listened to the instrumental after that. The cutaway ends.

While we were eating, Featherweight walks by taking pictures of everything with along Pipsqueak next to him. "So what are you going to put on the paper this week?" Pipsqueak asked.

"I have no idea Pips." Featherweight said. "But we sure are short on pressers. We need somepony to gather ideas for us."

"This is going to be so fun!" Pipsqueak said excitedly.

"Hey weren't you girls in the press once?" I asked the crusaders.

"We did, but it didn't go out so well." Apple Bloom said.

"I wanna join the press!" I said excitedly

"Don't bother. All there is in the paper is junk anyway." Scootaloo said.

"Not if I can help it!" I said.

"So you're gonna join the press?" Sweetie Belle asked while hanging upside down on the bench we were sitting on.

"Hmm..." I thought to myself for a few minutes. The Foal-Free Press does sound a lot like fun. After lunch was over, I went downstairs and talked to Featherweight.

"So you want to join the press, huh?” Featherweight asked.

"I’ve actually been thinking of becoming a journalist before I decided to open my own pizza business.” I said.

"Alright then.” Featherweight nodded. “How about going out there and getting some-“

"Yes, I'll get some news! I'm really good at that! I’ve got the best ideas there is!" I said as I smiled and squeed.

"That's good. Listen, I have to go to the doctor’s. Can I trust you in making a great news story that won't ruin other pony's lives?" Featherweight asked.

"As the Wizards of Hope, Strength, and Feelings as my witnesses, I promise to make the best news stories ever! And best of all: Featherweight, they’ll be pretty leet! I assure you!" I promised.

"Good! I'll see you tomorrow then!" Featherweight said as he walked out of the school’s basement and shut the doors behind him.

“What kind of lady is Cheerilee of making foals work in a basement? Only sickos do that. It’s too bad this school only has one classroom.” I said. I looked over at the camera that the photographer left behind, and I picked up. "Oh herp-derp how do I use this old thing? This is such an old camera. Even my first cell phone is a better camera than this, and it was Cingular. I bet none of these foals know what Cingular is. Those big shots at AT&T bought it out, just like they bought out Bellsouth, Southwestern Bell, CCPR Services, Pacific Bell, SBC Wireless, and SNET.”

"You have to use that camera. Those are the rules." Snips said.

"Screw the rules, I have future technology!” I yelled.

"Duh... wait. Is there even a rule about that?" Snails asked.

"You’ve been here for a while, Slugs, you should know what the rules are.” I corrected him.

"My name is Snails." Snails corrected me.

"Duuuuuh, my name is Snails, and I like pudding." I teased as I mocked his voice.

"I don't even sound like that." Snails said.

"You need to work on your disguising voice, Flare." Snips advised me.

"Says the colt that sounds like Bling-Bling Boy." I said.

"Who?” Snips asked.

“Bling-Bling Boy. You know, from Johnny Test?” I asked.

"Never heard of it." Snips said.

"Have you been living under a rock for these past years?" I asked.

"No, but Snails has." Snips corrected me.

"No wonder. They should call you Patrick Snails.” I teased and chuckled.

“Patrick Star is dumb. I’m not dumb like him. Right, Snips?” Snails asked his friend.

“You’re pretty much my only friend, so I advised myself not to answer that.” Snips said.

“Gee, thanks, Snips! You’re a true friend!” Snails said happily.

“Wow, wish I had a friend like that. The ponies I hang out with are either a silly blue mare with ACD, a replica from a game, a stunt daredevil with a sensitive personality, an aquatic pony who’s mind that’s stuck in the 17th century, and Psyche.” I said.

So I worked on the paper and published it before I left for home. The next day came, and I started walking back to the school for another day in the life of a foal. "Ah it's great being a foal again! It's time for Day Two! This is gonna be so exciting!” I said excitedly. When I got to the school, I saw everypony reading the Foal-Free Press paper that I released to the public last night.

"What is this?" a filly named Aura asked as she read my paper.

"Something hilarious, that's for sure!" Lickety Split commented.

"Dorthey the rainbow fish gets picked on by Rainbow the other rainbow fish?" Diamond Tiara asked while looking at the newspaper. "Spike the dragon beats Crysis 2? Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon are names that can be changed, which makes you lul? Who wrote all this junk?"

"Who do you think?” Silver Spoon asked sarcastically.

"Flare?" Diamond Tiara asked in a low-tone.

"Flare." Silver Spoon said with a sigh.

"Snips sounds like Bling-Bling Boy?" Snips asked as he too was reading.

"Snails should be called Slugs, because he doesn't have a shell?" Snails asked while reading the newspaper upside down.

"Dude, how do you read upside down?" Snips asked.

"I'm reading this upside down? Looks fine to me. Maybe it's because my eyes are upside down." Snails thought.

And so, I walked up to the Crusaders, whom were sitting on a bench reading the newspaper I made. "Hello, my friends! Enjoying this week's newspaper?" I asked.

"This isn't even news. It's just comedy, telling opinions about ponies, and advertising your shop." Scootaloo said.

"As a matter of fact, you advertised your shop in all the pages." Sweetie Belle added.

"I know. I must keep business in shape, you know? I may be a foal now, but I still have my career to keep in balance.” I said.

"Flare, do ya even know anything about journalism?" Apple Bloom asked.

"Herp-Derp! How can I not know anything about journalism, when the proof is right here?" I asked as I pointed to the newspaper.

“Flare Gun, may I speak with you for a moment?” Cheerilee called out from the front of the school.

“Sure, Cheerilee! I’ll be right there!” I called out. I then turned to the crusaders and said, “Sorry, girls, the teacher needs me. Probably gonna give me something in her prize box after showing her class an entertaining way to see patterns.” I then walked over to Cheerilee to see what she wanted.

“This is starting to get out of hoof. It started off fun, but now this is getting a wee-bit out of control.” Sweetie Belle said.

“Ah thought he would’ve been tired of it by now? AppleJack said that.” Apple Bloom said.

“He’s taking this child thing way too seriously. Those Canterlot ponies really gotten into his head.” Scootaloo said.

“Well, not only is he acting like a child, he’s talking like one, showing off like one, singing like one; you remember in art class yesterday when he sang a polka about patterns?” Apple Bloom asked.

A cutaway shows Cheerilee along with her class, about to teach her next lesson. “Alright, students, I have a pretty fun less for you today!” Cheerilee started as she pulled down a chart from above her chalk board that showed different types of patterns. There were four different pattern pictures in the chart: the first one was a bunch of red and blue windmills, the second one was an infinite boxed vortex type pattern with circles and half-circles inside of it, the third was a pink background with blue trapezoids, and the fourth one was a bunch of stripes and a DNA shaped pattern. “Now what you need to know about patterns is-“ before Cheerilee can continue speaking, the windmill picture started to move and play music that contained a clarinet and an accordion. Cheerilee looked back at the picture with a concerned look on her face, and then she just shrugged and was about to talk about, but the boxed vortex picture also started to move and played the same type of music, but in a different miner. She just shrugged and was about to talk again, but then all the pictures started to move and play the music until a black duck pops out from one of the pictures, and knocks Cheerilee out of the way.

I started walking in front of the class with my accordion and played a polka about patterns, it goes: “From everywhere, I see them there, I stop and stare at patterns; I don’t care I must declare, I got a flair for patterns.” A pop-type sound effect played in the background. “On my hair the close I wear, my savoir faire is patterns…” most of the foals in this class just looked at me, confused on what’s going on, except for Teacher’s Pet / Truffle Shuffle whom was waving her hooves back and forth in the air. Apple Bloom facehoofs herself as she watches. “All I see is patterns, the patterns that repeat!” I danced over to one of the doors in the edge of the room and I said, “Let’s go into the bathroom!”

I popped my head out from the unviewing point of the floor, and I continued singing: “I know we’re in a room where you would not expect much math; usually you’re in here for a shower or a bath.” I slid open the curtons of the shower, showing Spike taking a shower, and wearing a bathing cap on, but he gets embarrassed and covers himself. “But if you gaze upon the floor, and if you’re kinda smart… you’ll see the repetition is like geometric art!” I looked down at the white square tiles and black diamond tiles, and the tiles started changing colors. “WOOOOOOW!” I yelled excitedly. “HAHA! Look.” I pointed to the floor. One of the square tiles flip over and reveal a twisty type of pattern that turns into a butterfly and flies away, and a couple of colorful circles start popping out from the floor; I grabbed the green one and before I knew it, I was flying over striped fields that you’d see in farmland from an airplane.

I inhaled real deep and continued to sing; “From everywhere I see there, I stop and stare at patterns…” a whistle sound effect played in the background. “I don’t care, I must declare, I’ve got a flair for patterns.” And then a slide whistle played in the background, and a puffin shows up and flies in front of me. “On my hair, the clothes I wear, my savoir faire is patterns, all I see is patterns…” just then, the puffin pecks on the green ball I was floating on, and I started to fall as a lends flair pattern showed up in the background. “… The patterns that repeat.” I sang. Right after, a type of pattern that you’d see inside a pattern scope started moving around as I danced in the middle of it and yelled, “HEEEY!”

Right after, I walked up on a stage, wearing a German polka outfit, and Spike was behind me in a tuxedo, drinking from a bottle. “A polkameister like myself never has to be bored, I just grab my ax and play some patterns on my keyboard.” I sang as I played a few A-miner’s from my accordion. “Now’s the time for earplugs if you care about your health…” I started to hold on tight to the ground as Spike plugs in a giant speaker behind me. “So stand back everypony! I’m gonna express myself!” I started to rocking out to my accordion as the speaker blows up behind. “Look at this! PATTERNS! I got blisters on my hooves now! WOO! HEY!” A pony that’s wearing the same outfit as I am starts playing the tuba near me. “Aw, get down!” I said as a polka drummer also showed up and played his drum as a speech bubble shows up above their heads along with a couple of star and spray can type patterns showed up inside the bubble. “Yeah!” Two other polka players showed up with a clarinet and a banjo, and they started to play a little melody in a pattern. “Help me, somepony!” I yelled out as random shapes started popping out from the polka melody player’s speech bubbles over their heads.

Once a red star appeared over the camera, a little circle fades in from the middle with my face in it, and I say, “Still there? Okay!” the circles expands over the entire red background, and I start walking towards a group of ponies dancing, and I continued to sing; “Next time you find yourself at an exciting polka party, you can make some patterns with your hooves and with your body! If you don’t know the steps yet, here’s the gang with all the answers: fillies and gentlecolts, introducing the Flare Gun polka dancers!” I point over to a curtain that opens and reveals a countyside type background with a bunch of hills. I pop out my head from below the camera, and shout out: “Here they are!” Two ponies that look like they’re made of paper shows up and starts swinging around and looks like they’re dancing. The stallion was wearing a blouse, a black vest with shorts, and long socks, while the mare was wearing a blouse, a big pink skirt, and also wore big socks. They started swinging around as random sound effects played in the background as a pattern, and random paperized objects showed up in the background like a cow, fish, a tuba with a boxing glove popping out of it, drums with colorful balls bouncing on them, a rooster that spits out stars, and a hamburger with legs. All the papered objects disappeared in the display, and a Mr. Potatohead pops out from the middle, and it turns around revealing my head.

My head just floats in the middle of an underwater ocean background, and two Mr. Potatoheads float beside me, floating in opposite directions, and they sing along with me; “From everywhere, we see them there, we stop and stare at patterns…” a dentist drill sound effect plays in the background, and a lot more Mr. Potatoheads show up from opposite directions and sing along with me; “We don’t care we must declare, we got a flair for patterns.” As we continue, more and more Mr. Potatoheads appear and sound like more and more voices were joining the song, but they were all really my voice. “On our hair, the clothes we wear, our savoir faire is patterns, all we see is patterns, the patterns that repeat.” All the Mr. Potatoheads gives the audience duck faces as the scenery of the song changes.

I started running forward as the background keeps changing behind me as the words I sang next redirect to the background: “Wallpaper, skyscrapers, funny papers, patterns! Evergreens, nouvelle cuisine, human beings, patterns! Golden rakes, wedding cakes, rattlesnakes, patterns! Golden wheat, little feet, my heart beat…” I start breathing deeply as four different hearts beside my beat at the same time. “I gotta stop.” I said tiredly. Duplicates of me start popping out from each side of the background and yell: “Patterns! Patterns! Patterns! Patterns!” the song reaches its W.A.Y. Moby polka ending as I was able to run to the front of the stage as the curtain drops, and a bell slides in from the right of me, and the Monty Python foot shows up and steps on the bell, causing a big ding which marks the end of the song. That incredibly large cutaway gag ends.

So I walked over to Cheerilee because if you don’t remember, she called for me, so I went to her to see what she wanted. “Flare, what is this about?” she asked.

“What is what about?” I asked.

“Having one day with you was entertaining, but you coming here every day is really disrupting my class.” Cheerilee explained. “Not only are you giving these foals bad influence, you’re wasting my time, their time, and even your own time!”

“So… does this mean I get detention?” I asked.

“No, Flare. It means you’re expelled.” Cheerilee said.

“Expelled?! But I didn’t even do anything to harm this school at any way! I was only trying to be a foal! You of all ponies should understand my position.” I explained.

“Flare, I like you, you’re fun to hang with, but when it’s school time for my students, having you around will only distract them. I hope you don’t take it too personally, Flare.” Cheerilee said.

“No, it’s fine. I had no idea what I was doing would effect the kid’s futures. For their futures, I’m willing not to be in your class anymore.” I said.

“Thank you, Flare. I know you’re trying to express yourself, and even though many would find it ridiculous, I find it to be quite envious. There are times that I wish I were a foal again.” Cheerilee said.

“Then join me, Cheerilee!” I said.

“That’s the spirit, Fla- wait, what?” Cheerilee asked.

“Join me! We’ll be foals together! Let’s show those Canterlot ponies that us Ponyville ponies can really express ourselves better than any other type of pony anywhere in Equestria!” I offered.

“You’re kidding, right?” Cheerilee asked.

“I never kid.” I corrected her. Sweetie Belle then snorts as she chuckles to herself. “What’s so funny, Sweets?”

“You say you never kid, but you’ve acting like one for a while now.” Sweetie Belle teased as she started to laugh.

“B-but, that’s impossible. I was only expressing myself! Cheerilee said so!” I said.

“Flare you’re so silly! You crack me up! You take other pony’s words way too seriously!” Sweetie Belle said.

“Uhh, Sweetie Belle?” Scootaloo asked.

“Just a minute, Scoots. Not to mention… kids don’t even act like that! I mean, yeah, kids make mistakes, but YOU Flare! You’re not acting like a child!” Sweetie Belle said.

“Sweetie Belle, please don’t.” Apple Bloom attempted to stop her from saying what she’s about to say.

“I just gotta say this one thing, Apple Bloom, hang on.” Sweetie Belle smirked at me with a mischievous smile and said, “Flare Gun, you’re not acting like a child; you’re acting like a baby!”

“GASP!” I yelled.

“Ooooo, ah really think ya REALLY shouldn’ve said that, Sweetie Belle.” Apple Bloom said.

“A baby? A BABY?! I’m not only acting like a child, but… A BABY?!” I asked shockingly.

“No, Flare, she doesn’t mean that!” Scootaloo cried.

“Oh… well then… this definitely changes everything.” I said.

“So are you gonna finally mature up and start acting your age?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“I’m a baby! That’s what I am! Wee-big helpless, brainless baby! That is what I am, and she’s right! If she wants baby, I’ll give her baby!” I then ran over to a mare that was pushing her baby around in a carriage, I reached into the carriage and grabbed a diaper and put it on. “See? Now I’m a baby! Babies wear diapers, and I’m wearing one right now!”

“Flare, please don’t tell me you took a diaper off a baby and put it on you.” Scootaloo begged.

“What? No, that’s disgusting! Why would I do that? I took a fresh clean diaper from a bag.” I said. “Now where was I? Oh right!” I jumped up and laid myself on the ground and started yelling, “WAAAAH! WAAAAH! I’m a baby! WAAAAAH! I need a nappy-wappy! I need you to kiss my boo-boos! CHANGE MY DIAPER, SWEETIE BELLE!”

“You’re right, I shouldn’ve said that.” Sweetie Belle said.

"Ah think he's finally lost it." Apple Bloom said.

"Sweets you better hurry it up. I'm starting to get a rash." I said. "BOO HOO! BOO HOO! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Crying face!"

"Mr. Gun, you're behavior is unacceptable, so I have your mom on the phone." Cheerilee said as she gave me the school’s phone so I can talk to her.

"Oh... really?" I placed the phone over my ear and I started talking to my mom. "Hi, mom! How are you?” I asked her. After listening to her for a few moments, I started to get aggravated. “But mom?! Everypony kept calling me a child! Sweetie Belle called me a baby! No, that's not fair!” I whined on the phone as I stomped my hoof on the ground. "Why should I have to apologize? No, please! Don't take away my dessert! But... they started it! Ok, fine... goodbye!" So I hung up the phone, and awkwardly looked around and all the foals. Most of them were pretty concerned, some were afraid. After seeing their faces, I realized that… what am I to gain for this? The Canterlot ponies aren’t even here, so why was I acting like that in the first place?

“What has happened to me?” I asked myself. “I used to be jolly, and funny, and… I maybe weird, but it was ok, because I have friends that like me for me, but… for those who didn’t like me for me, I took their words too seriously. It’s Mareami all over again! Kids… I…. I don’t know what to say. I’m… I’m sorry. I was a bad influence. I… I have no idea what went over me. I gotta go.” I was too embarrassed to show my face around the school house ever again, so I just ran back home and hid. I had no idea what was going on with me. There are so many things wrong with me. I was acting immature for what reason? What was I to gain from it? I removed my child vest, and put on my adult-sized vest, and I took off my propeller hat. I kept the diaper on though, cause it was quite comfortable; plus, at least I don’t have to go up to go to the bathroom.

The next day came and I returned to my shop and returned to my regular duties as a pizza shop manager. I didn’t bother getting out of the open that day because I’m pretty sure their parents would be concerned on what happened that day. I was quite surprised that I had a decent amount of customers though. In the middle of the day, about around 12:30 PM, I heard a knock on my door. I was afraid it was one of the concerned parents. “Nopony’s home! Come back another time!”

“We can hear your voice though.” Scootaloo said from the other side.

“Oh, Scoots! Come on in!” I said. Scootaloo opened the door, and walked inside along with Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Cheerilee.

“Oh… you didn’t mention you were bringing your teacher along.” I said disappointingly.

“Flare, I am quite disappointed in you.” Cheerilee said.

“Well I’m disappointed in me too, but hey, who’s not disappointed at me these days?” I asked.

“I’m disappointed that you left the school yesterday, because the students were… quite upset.” Cheerilee said.

“Upset? Why would they be upset?” I asked.

“See for yourself.” Cheerilee pointed outside.

“What’s outside? Did you get me a new car?” I asked.

“Nope! Even better.” Cheerilee said.

“You got me TWO new cars!” I said excitedly.

“No, I didn’t get you any cars.” Cheerilee said.

“Ooooooh! You got me a van!” I said.

“I didn’t get you any sort of vehicle.” Cheerilee said.

“So you got me a new yacht?” I asked.

“I can’t even afford that, and I think that counts as a vehicle.” Cheerilee said.

“What is it then?” I asked.

“Come look for yourself.” Cheerilee offered. Well, since I couldn’t guess anymore, I decided to get up and walk outside. When I got there, I saw Cheerilee’s entire class standing there, most of them smiling at me, but not all.

“Oooooh! So the kids got me a new car!” I nodded.

“No, silly! We came to say thanks!” Aura said.

“Thanks? For what?” I asked.

“For being such a delightful school guest!” Peachy Pie said.

“I’m confused.” I said.

“School is the most boring activity in the world! With you there, it wasn’t boring anymore!” Pipsqueak said.

“With you around, it made us not look like dorks anymore.” Snips said.

“Yeah, not dorks!” Snails said in a dorky voice.

I just stood there silently at the kids, and then I looked right at Cheerilee and said, “I have the feeling they’re trying to tell me something.”

“Flare, you expressed yourself that day, and like I said, I find it envious. Nopony except Pinkie Pie has the guts to express themselves that way. You are truly an inspiring pony, Flare Gun!” Cheerilee said.

“So you want me back in your class?” I asked.

“Oh heavens, no!” Cheerilee said. “Like I said, you can express yourself, but only when the time is right.”

“Wow... Cheerilee you just blew my mind!” I said.

“I have the effect on ponies.” Cheerilee chuckled.

“Yeah! What you said made no sense to me at all!” I said shockingly. Cheerilee’s smiles fades and she just glares at me. “Anyways, who’s up for some pizza? It’s all on the house!” All the foals all cheered, which was expecting, because hey, free pizza! Lyra, Bonnie, and I made a ton of pizzas, enough for the whole class! I too had some pizza, as I sat with the Cutie Mark Crusaders and ate with them.

“This is good, Flare!” Sweetie Belle said with her mouth full of pizza. “No wonder everypony forgave you quickly. It’s all because of your piz-“ Apple Bloom and Scootaloo both play-punched her in the shoulder, getting her to stop talking. “Ow! Oh… right. Anyways, sorry for calling you a baby, Flare.”

“Meh. It wasn’t your fault I acted like that. I get mental breakdowns a lot. I get it from my mom’s side. We’re Italian.” I said.

“Well… that certainly explains a lot.” Scootaloo teased.

“Hey, just be lucky I’m not Irish, because things would’ve been A LOT worse if I was Irish!” I said.

“Well, ah’m just glad you’re back to your old self again, Flare!” Apple Bloom said.

“Hey who you callin’ old, you wipper snapper?” I asked in an old man’s voice. Just then, I see Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon walking by our table. I just remembered that there was still one loose end to tie up. "Oh Jewel Head, Bronze Knife?" I asked, trying to get their attention.

“Hey, Flare! This pizza is so totally delicious!” Silver Spoon said.

“Thanks! I just wanted to say that I apologize for bullying you two before. Sad face. I didn't really mean it. I would never want to hurt innocent foals like you two." I said.

"Innocent?" Scootaloo asked.

"We still friends?" I asked with a smile on his face and a squee. The two fillies looked at eachother and shrugged.

"Fine." Diamond Tiara said.

"We could never stay mad at you forever. After all, you do sell delicious pizza!” Silver Spoon said.

“I don’t think a child can do that, that’s for sure!” Scootaloo winked at me and said.

"So can it be hugs time now?" I asked the two fillies.

"Umm…” they both looked at eachother in concern.

"C'mon! Where's the less than threes?” I asked with my arms out. Diamond and Silver gave in, and they gave me a hug, but who knew if they meant it?

"There we go!" I said happily. "Don't worry Rock Cap and Golden Fork. It's all gonna be 'kay."

"Maybe you aren't so bad after all." Diamond Tiara said.

"Whatcha talkin about?" I asked them in a voice that sounds like Arnold's from Different Strokes.

“Blah!” Scootaloo said.

“Oh don’t be jealous you three! You come in too!” I offered the CMCs.

“There won’t be any signs on our backs again, will there?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Absolutely not!” I promised. Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle then joined with the hug.

"I less than three these foals.” I said.

"Can we have hugs too?” Snips asked.

"No way! Go hug yourselves!” I rejected.

After the hug, I continued talking with the CMCs. “So, Flare. Anything else you wanna do to let out your inner foal?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“As a matter of fact, I do!” I nodded.

Sometime later, the Crusaders and I went back to cart surfing in the mines, doing lots of tricks and having fun. Miss Cheerilee follows us from behind, and preformed the best tricks, like spinning the cart around, and hanging behind the cart, tilting it, she was insane! It was nice of Cheerilee to give out her inner foal as well.

As I played Duel of the Fates from my Ipod, I continued singing of what I thought the chorus was singing as I preformed tricks on my own mine cart. “Corn ooooooon the cooooooob, corn oooooon the kebaaaaaaab! Total, earlobe, on the, typical, sort of, people, such a, mystical, CORN COOOOOOOOOB!!!”

Author's Note

A remake of the first Child's Play story. What I changed in here was, I added more time in Canterlot, Flare is not AS rude in this chapter, and I changed the ending from Flare apologizing at the school to apologizing at his shop, and since I love making these polkas by Weird Al in here, I decided to move the first polka song to this chapter: Polka Patterns that Weird Al made at Square TV.

Just Mommy and Me

Today was a beautiful day in Ponyville, a beautiful day to stay indoors and play video games! That’s what Engie and I have been doing that morning. “Hey, Engie? You know how they always call these towns FORT Lauderdale and FORT Drum and FORT Peirce?” I asked him.

“Why?” Engie asked.

“They all have the word FORT in them but they got no forts. Also, how about Salt Lake City? They call it Salt Lake City, but there are no salty lakes. Why call a town something it’s not?” I asked.

“You see, Flare, you wonder why nopony was friends with ya back in Mareami.” Engie said.

“I do wonder why, and I still do.” I said. Just then, my door bell rings, and I paused the game.

“Oh so you’re gonna chicken out of the fight then?” Engie asked.

“Engie, I’m not Scootaloo.” I corrected him as I walked over to the door and activated my security eyeball camera outside. It was Blaze.

“Si?” I said in an hispanic woman’s voice.

“Hey Flare, can you let me in?” Blaze asked.

“No, no, Miser Flare no home.” I said in the same voice.

“Oh… well, can you at least give him a message for me?” Blaze asked.

“Nooooooo, nooooooo.” I said as I deactivated my eyeball camera.

“Oh c’mon, man! Quit fooling around and let me in!” Blaze complained.

I opened the door and said, “Holy Wizard of Hope, Blaze! You’re such a drama queen!”

“Drama king.” Blaze corrected me.

“Really? You’re not a mare?” I asked.

“No!” Blaze said.

“Then how do you explain that girly hairdo?” I asked.

“Wha-WHAT?! This happens to be the same type of hairdo my grandfather had, and he was an Equestrian hero!” Blaze corrected me.

“Soooooo, he was a girl?” I asked.

“It-it’s just… shut up, man!” Blaze said angrily.

“Sweet Celestia, Bla-“ Engie said but I interrupted him.

“Sweet Luna.” I corrected him.

“Sweet Luna, Blaze! Why are you bein’ so- wait, what? Why can’t ah say Celestia?” Engie asked.

“Luna needs more attention.” I said.

“Whatever. Why are you bein’ so mad about this?” Engie asked.

“I just don’t like my family being teased like this, Engie. I’ve seen it way too much.” Blaze said.

“Sorry, brah.” I said.

“It’s ok, man.” Blaze said. “Hey, did you know it’s Mother’s Day tomorrow?”

“Oh right! Mommy’s day! My mommy said she was gonna come down to Ponyville later today.” I said.

“Ya still call her mommy?” Engie asked.

“She’s my mommy? Why not call her mommy?” I asked.

“Only babies call their mama’s mommys.” Engie said.

“Oh yeah? What do you call your mommy?” I asked.

“Mama.” Engie said.

“How is that any different?” I asked.

“All the hoodlums call their mama’s mama.” Engie said.

“Is she gonna come down?” I asked.

“She’s already at mah house actually.” Engie said.

“Oh awesome! Can’t wait to meet her! Blaze, is your mom coming down?” I asked.

“Huh?” Blaze asked.

“Your mommy! Is she coming to Ponyville too?” I asked.

“Oh, ummm… she can’t. She’s…. sick.” Blaze said.

“Sick?” I asked.

“Yeah, sick.” Blaze said.

“What type of sickness?” Engie asked.

“The type of sickness that she can’t travel in, and be in public areas.” Blaze said.

“Which iiiiiis…” Engie started.

Blaze was silent for a few seconds, but then he finally let out an answer; “She has diarrhea.”

“Eww! Don’t say that word! Say ‘she has to go number 3’.” Engie suggested.

“Number 3?” Blaze asked.

“Number 1 is pee, number 2 is poop, number 3 is... that word, and number 4 is throw up.” Enige explained.

“Oh I hate that word! I prefer a more polite and less disgusting term for it: vomit.” I suggested.

“Ok, this is starting to gross me out.” Blaze said.

“Yeah me too.” I said.

“Hey, you started it, Blaze.” Engie reminded him.

Blaze sighed. “Whatever. So when is your mom gonna be here, Flare?”

“She’s gonna be here at noon. She wanted to take the early train from Mareami to here. Mareami’s not a close place. I dunno why she didn’t bother flying.” I said. Just then, a pony in a suit comes over and whispers in Engie’s ear.

“Mah lawyer is advisin’ me not to use an airplane joke to avoid offendin’.” Engie said.

“But brah, noon is just in two minutes.” Blaze informed me.

“That clock is an hour behind.” I corrected him while pointing to my clock hanging on the wall.

“I wasn’t looking at the clock; I was looking on my phone.” Blaze corrected me.

“Oh my Luna! Then there’s no time to waste!” I panicked as I ran out of my trailer and went over to the trainstation as fast as I could. My friends from the Noble Six all joined me over there so we can meet with her.

Crystal took a sniff and exhaled, and then she said, “Ah! Don’t you love that trainstation air?”

“No. I once had to wear a breathing mask for three weeks straight after inhaling too much of the train steam when I had to stay inside an engine with the conductor, makin’ sure no fires would start spreading from the furnace.” Aqua said.

“Why would fire spread from a train furnace?” Engie asked.

“Ironically, the whole train was made of wood.” Aqua said.

“Why would a train be made out of wood?” Engie asked.

“The conductor asked for a metal train that can carry large shipments of wood, but the construction workers ended up making a wooden train that can carry large shipments of heavy metal.” Aqua said.

“Trust me, I’ve seen ponies get misunderstood over even the simplest stuff, like that one time I visited a stock market.” Psyche said.

A cutaway shows a bunch of ponies in a stock market having a meeting, one of the stockers said while typing numbers in a calucator: “I've got a stock here that could really excel.”

“It could excel?” one of the stockers asked.

“Excel?” another stocker asked.

“Sell?” another stocker asked.

“Sell!” another stocker yelled.

“SELL! SELL! SELL! SELL! SELL! SELL!” all the stockers yelled.

“Ok this is madness. I should really get going.” One of the stockers asked annoyingly.

“Good-bye.” One of the stockers said.

“Good-bye?” another stocker asked.

“Bye?” another stocker asked.

“Buy?” another stocker asked.

“BUY! BUY! BUY! BUY! BUY! BUY! BUY! BUY!” all the stockers yelled. The cutaway ends.

“Anyways, Flare, how about telling us a bit about your mom?” Crystal suggested.

“Well, her name is Bow Gun, she wears a green vest, she knows great magics like me, like she has the ultimate arrow rain attack, something similar to my Shoop Da Whoop.” I said.

“Wow, I guess these epic magics run in the family, huh?” Crystal asked.

“My mom was the one that actually forced me into learning these new magics so I can defend myself against the bullies in my school.” I said.

“Did she teach you to use Shoop Da Whoop?” Crystal asked.

“No, I actually learned that spell by accident. She actually got me into reading a spell book, but my mom never taught me them personally, but she did teach me to control them.” I explained.

“Is your mom strict?” Aqua asked.

“She has attitude problems at times, but she’s always there for me when I need her, and there isn’t a single pony that can replace her!” I said.

“Hey, Flare!” Fluttershy yelled from the distance as she waved at me.

“Hey, Flutters!” I yelled and waved back.

“Eeyup! Ain’t nopony gonna replace her.” I said.

“It must be nice having a mom that really cares about ya that’s still around.” Aqua said.

“This day must be tough for you, huh Aqua?” I asked.

“Meh, my sister and I were young so it doesn’t really affect us as much as it should.” Aqua said.

“Y-yeah…” Psyche said.

“Are you alright, Psyche?” I asked.

“I-I’m fine.” He stuttered.

“Don’t worry, Psyche. I’m the exact same way. I know how you feel.” Crystal said.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Psyche said.

“Look, here comes the Mareami train now.” Aqua pointed out. The train from Mareami pulls into the station, and the conductor was the first to come out, following are the other passengers that were on it, but I couldn’t find my mom anywhere.

“Any of you see her anywhere?” I asked.

“We don’t even know what she looks like.” Engie corrected me.

“She’s regular brown with dark brown hair, green eyes, green vest, shoes on her hind hooves like me, she’s a unicorn, her mane style is similar to Twilight’s, and she has a dog for a flank tattoo.” I explained.

“Why does she have a dog cutie mark?” Blaze asked.

“I think it’s best if I don’t say.” I said.

“Pokie faaaaaaaaaaace!” my mom yelled at excitement as she ran up to me and gave me a hug.

“Wait, what did she said?” Crystal asked.

“Hey…. Mommy.” I said.

“You still call her mommy?” Crystal asked.

“It’s nice to see you, mom.” I said as she wouldn’t stop hugging me.

“I haven’t seen you in FOREVER! Why did you leave Flare? Why did you leave me with daddy?” she asked.

“Is he still working a lot?” I asked.

She groans. “You don’t know the half of it!”

“I believe I do.” I said.

“So Flare, you’ve been brushing your teeth, right?” she asked.

“Yes.” I said.

“Floss too?” she asked.

“Yes.” I said.

“Paid your bills?”

“Yes.”

“Get at least 8 hours sleep?”

“Yes.”

“Feed the fish every day?”

“Yes.”

“How are the fish anyway? How’s my little Darrel doing?” she asked.

“He’s fine, mom.” I said as I released my mom’s grasp.

My mom looks over at my friends. “Oh, are these your new friends were talking to me about?”

“Yes they are! This is Crystal Iceblast, Aquatic Armor, Red Engineer, Psyche Illution, and Blaze Goldheart!” I introduced them to her.

“Lovely to meet you, Mrs. Gun!” Aqua said.

“Lovely to meet you too, Red Engineer!” she said to him.

“Um, I’m Aqua.” He corrected her.

“Oh, sorry.” She chuckles. “I’m not good with names that well.”

“Neither is your son.” Aqua said. “He once called me Shirley.”

“No I didn’t.” I corrected him.

“You actually did.” Crystal corrected me. “You said: ‘Shirley you know that black beans is the best type of beans’”.

“Mom, that was an awfully long train ride for you, huh?” I asked.

“Please don’t tell me you’re already thinking of lunch.” My mom asked as she facehoofed herself.

“She knows me all too well.” I said to my friends.

“Don’t we all?” Psyche asked.

“Oh hey look, here comes the wooden train carrying all that heavy metal I was tellin’ ya about.” Aqua pointed to a wooden train arriving at the station. One of the train cars opens revealing Linkin Park singing Crawling.

So I took my mom over to my shop to have her try my pizza. I took her and my friends to sit down at the nicest booth in the restaurant. “Wow, Flarey! I really like how this place looks. This is the famous pizza shop I keep hearing about?” my mom asked.

“I hope so! It was told that this is the best pizza shop in all of Equestria.” I said.

“Well, I’ll be the judge of that. Can I please have an iced tea with lemon?” my mom asked.

“Of course, mom! Whatever you want!” I said.

“It’s freshly brewed right?” my mom asked.

“Why wouldn’t it? That fountain-type iced tea is disgusting!” I said.

“And the bottle too!” my mom added.

“LAWL I know right?” I asked.

“LAWL I agree.” My mom said.

“LAWL!” I said.

“LAWL!” my mom said.

“Does that run in the family?” Engie asked.

“Anyways, mom, feel free of getting to know my friends. I’ll get your drinks and your garlic rolls.” I said as I walked over to the kitchen to get the stuff.

“Hey, Crystal?” my mom asked.

“Yeah?” Crystal asked.

“Oh, sorry, I was actually talking to the one with the Wonderbolts outfit.” My mom corrected herself.

“I’m Blaze.” he said.

“Alright, Blaze. Are you the same Blaze my son always talks to on Skype non-stop?” she asked.

“I’m not sure.” Blaze said.

“Well, Flare didn’t have much friends in Mareami, but he did have his online friends. Got a little tired of him talking about this Blaze I keep hearing about non-stop. Makes me think that’s his coltfriend or something.” Mom said.

Blaze was silent for a moment and made an awkward face. “You don’t say?”

“I do say! Well, Flare’s life looks like it’s improved big time! My son is friends with a Wonderbolt!” mom said excitedly.

“I know, it is pretty exciting, isn’t it?” Blaze asked.

“Right. Hey Blaze, did anypony ever tell you that you look like a girl with that mane style?” mom asked.

“Yes, actually, your son mentioned it earlier today.” Blaze said with an annoyed tone.

“Oh yeah, my Flarey is one of stating the obvious.” My mom chuckled and said.

“Hey ol Psyche is also one of stating the obvious.” Crystal pointed out.

“Isn’t that right, Psyche?” mom asked.

“I would suppose so, Mrs. Gun.” Psyche said.

“Oh please, my friends call me Bow.” mom said.

“Alright… Bow.” Psyche said.

“YOU can call me Mrs. Gun.” She suggested.

“Oh… alright.” Psyche said.

“I’m kidding, I don’t have any friends.” Mom said.

“Is that why Flare didn’t have any back in Mareami?” Engie asked.

“Oh no, some of us never seemed to bother.” Mom said. “Flare on the other hoof, he tries too hard. One of the main reasons he didn’t have any friends back in Mareami was he tried too hard. He just seemed so lonesome all the time, and he begs, and such. The only time Flare made friends was when the ponies were using him. Tragic time it was for him.” Mom explained.

“So we heard.” Aqua said.

“The only ones Flarey ever hung with out of regular bases is his sister, his fish, and every night he goes to the beach and talks to the moon. I swear, I should’ve put him in therapy.” Mom said.

“But, Mrs. Gun, if Flare hasn’t talked to the moon every night, he wouldn’t even be here right now.” Aqua said.

“Right, I heard of that story of Princess Luna and the moon, and how she was able to bring the will of friendship inside Flare and have him feel welcomed in Ponyville.” Mom said.

“It sounded like a very cute story if you ask me.” Crystal said.

“Oh yes, very cute.” Mom said.

“Alright, here are your drinks and garlic rolls.” I said as I placed them on the table in front of my mom and friends.

“I gotta say, Flarey. I admire the cooking skills grandma taught you.” Mom said.

“I wouldn’ve gone this far without grandma, or nana for that matter. B-T-W, how is your mom doing anyway?” I asked.

“She’s fine. I asked her if she wanted to come but she said no.” mom said.

“Yeah, nana can be as stubborn as a mule sometimes.” I said. “No offense.”

“None taken.” Mulia Mild said.

“Hey, where’s that other mule?” I asked.

“Oh he had a business trip to go to so I’m taking over as the stereotypical mule.” Mulia said.

“Oh, alright.” I said.

“He’s auditioning for Littlest Pet Shop.” Mulia said.

“Got it.” I nodded.

“I told him he was too big to be a little pet though.” Mulia added.

“Alright I got it, Mulia, thank you.” I said.

“But he said he was the same size as ‘my little ponies’ so we decided to go anyway thinking he’ll get the part.” She added. I was so annoyed by her constant chatter; I looked over at my friends with a ‘can you believe this?’ look on my face. “I mean, he thinks the little ponies and the littlest pets are the same exact thing, but littlest means smaller than little, isn’t it?”

“If I get Lyra to make you a free dessert, will you stop blabbering?” I asked.

“Yes, please.” Mulia said as she turns around and walks off, and as she was, she chuckled to herself and said, “Works every time!”

“Hey, Flare!” Fluttershy said as she walked into my shop along with Rarity.

“Hey, Flutters, Rarity! It’s good that you two are here. I would like you both to meet my mommy: Bow Gun.” I said.

"You still call her mommy?" Rarity asked.

“Oh so you’re two of the Elements of Harmony, right?” mom asked.

“We sure are! I’m generosity, and Fluttershy here is kindness.” Rarity said.

“Nice accent.” Mom said.

“Oh thank you, Mrs. Gun. I really find it devine myself!” Rarity said.

“I was talking about the yellow one.” Mom said.

“Oh, me?” Flutters asked.

“Yes, I love your voice! It’s very gentle, and innocent.” Mom said.

Fluttershy blushed; “Well… thank you!”

“Hey if it makes ya feel any better Rarity, I like your voice.” Aqua said.

“Aqua you’re such a dearie!” Rarity said.

“So what can I do for the two of you?” I asked.

“You had an advertisement on Vanilla Crème Brûlée. I would ever so appreciate it, Flare, if I bought some from you.” Rarity asked.

“Of course, Rarity! Go talk to Bonnie over at the counter; she’ll help you out!” I offered.

“Thank you, dear! My mother is going to adore it!” Rarity said.

“Hey Rartiy, can I ask you something? Is your dad a unicorn?” I asked.

“Of course he is! Why?” Rarity asked.

“Well, he wears that straw hat all the time, you can’t really tell.” I said.

“My parents love to vacation a lot.” Rarity said.

“So does my mom.” I said.

“Hey, B-T-W Flare, are you going with me and daddy on our next cruise on the Allure of the Seas?” mom asked. “I can’t stop watching videos on ponies going aboard, and the Dreamworks parade, especially when the penguins of Madagascar wave their fins around like this.” My mom starts shaking her hooves up and down in opposite directions.

“See what I mean, sista?” I asked.

“Loud and clear.” Rarity said as she walked over to the counter to get her Brûlée.

“How about you, Flutters? You need anything?” I asked.

“Oh, not really. I was just with Rarity, we had our spa get-together today, and since she said she was coming here, I couldn’t resist but to see you!” Flutters said.

“Awww, that’s sweet! A little too sweet, it’s making me uncomfee.” I said.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Flutters said.

“No worries! Hey, mom, you know I was sick once when I was here right?” I asked.

“You mentioned it, yes.” Mom said.

“Well, it was Fluttershy here that took care of me. She sang Soft Dalek to me and everything!” I said.

“She sang Soft Dalek?” mom asked curiously.

“I sure did. It helped Flarey here get back in full health. Nice and strong again!” Fluttershy said as she was leaning close to me.

“See, mommy? She reminds me a lot of you! Whenever I’m sick, whenever I’m sad, or whenever I just need some attention and nopony else is available, or when there’s a honey jar stuck on my nose, Fluttershy is here to save the day!” I said. “Isn’t that right, Flutters?”

“I sure am!” Flutters said.

“Oh, that’s… great, Flare!” mom said as she started to sound a little down.

“That’s right!” I said.

“Are you feeling alright, Mrs. Gun?” Psyche asked.

“I’m alright, Blaze.” Mom said to him.

“I’m Psyche.” He corrected her. “Oh but it’s fine, you just met us. It’s completely normal!”

“No it isn’t.” Crystal said.

“Shhh!” Psyche shushed her.

“What? It isn’t.” Crystal said.

“Shut up!” Psyche whispered angrily at her. My mom was feeling a little bit confused for a bit there the way I was treating Fluttershy like a second mom. After everypony had their pizza, we all returned to the trailer. I was setting up the guest bedroom just for her so she can be comfortable, and my mom was looking at my fish.

“Hey, Darrel! Hey boo-boo! I missed you so much!” mom said to him.

“Wow I am so happy to see her, and yet I forgot who she was!” Darrel said as he excitedly swam around the front of the tank.

“Hey, Yo-dawg! Yo! Yo! YO, Yoyo! Hey, homie!” mom said to Yoyo.

“Hashtag swag, hashtag yolo.” Yoyo said.

“Please don’t say that.” Piddles asked.

“Hey, Pearlie! Hey Dorteey!” my mom said to them.

“Dorteey? Did she just call me Dorteey? There’s an H there, lady!” Dorthey called out.

“Hey at least she remembers me, and I like it when ponies call me Pearlie!” Pearl said.

“Hey, Pearlie!” Dorthey said.

“YOU can call me Pearl.” Pearl insisted.

“Hey, Rainbow! Hey, Peedles!” mom said to them.

“Peedles?! HA! That’s an hilarious nickname!” Rainbow laughed.

“Why me?” Piddles asked as he laid there on the rocks.

“Yo-dawg! Gotta get jiggy with it!” Yoyo said sounding like a rapper.

“You sound like a dork, Yoyo.” Pearl said.

“Yo, shorty, get-a low now! Get-a low, get-a low, get-a low, get-a low- TO THE WINDOOOOOOOOOW!” Yoyo rapped.

“I don’t like rappers that much.” Rainbow said.

“But, Rainboooooow! There’s always candy in wrappers! Wrappers are awesoooooome!” Darrel whined.

“Have you ever even eaten candy?” Rainbow asked.

“No, but I want to.” Darrel said.

“Darrel, you’re a fish; candy is bad for you.” Piddles said.

“Actually, candy is bad for ponies too, in fact poisonous, but they eat them anyway.” Rainbow explained.

“It’s weird that actual horses don’t eat sweet stuff, except for sugarcubes, but these horses do!” Dorthey explained.

“What is up with that?” Rainbow asked.

“Hey mommy, I got the room all ready for you!” I said.

“Thanks, pookie face!” mom said. “Hey, did you wear that Minions shirt I got you yet?” mom asked.

“I… of course I have!” I fibbed.

“Oh yeah? Then why do I see it hanging on your closet, unwrinkled?” mom asked.

“I… ironed it?” I fibbed.

“Don’t lie to me! You don’t know how to iron! You don’t even know how to do laundry!” mom yelled me.

“I do SO know how to do laundry!” I yelled back.

“Don’t yell at me, you jerk!” mom yelled.

“Oh I’m the jerk, huh?! What about the time you yelled at me after I told nana you weren’t using her money to get a patio, you were spending it on a cruise?!” I yelled.

“I didn’t want her mad! I always take the pain from her! All I get is complaining, complaining, complaining!” mom yelled.

“You said I shouldn’t lie!” I yelled.

“I was lying to keep nana from getting mad!” mom yelled.

“Aaaaaaaand these two are at it again.” Piddles said.

“When will it ever end?” Rainbow asked.

“Oh perfect for my next rap, homie!” Yoyo said.

“Oh! Maybe it doesn’t have to be candy wrappers; maybe it could be bubble wrap! Bubble wrap is so much fun!” Darrel said.

“Have you ever even used it?” Rainbow asked.

“No, but I seen Flare use them and he was having so much fun with it!” Darrel said.

“Seeing Flare and his mom blabber on like this is more stupid than the guy on the Call of Duty 3 box art.” Pearl said.

A cutaway shows the box art of Call of Duty 3, with all the soldiers firing at their enemies, and one of the soldiers near the front of the box yells to his friend at the very front: “Hey, moron! You’re facing the wrong way!”

And the guy up front says: “Lol how do I scope?” The cutaway ends.

“Look, all I’m saying is: just use the stuff I give you, alright?” mom asked.

“Alright, mommy, if you say so.” I said.

“Flare!” Spike yelled as he ran inside my trailer with a new game in his hand. “Dude, check this out!”

“Well, young dinosaur, has anypony ever told you to knock before entering somepony’s home?” mom asked.

“Don’t worry, mom; this is my friend Spike. Spike, mom.” I introduced them.

“Nice to make your acquaintance, mom.” Spike said with his claw out, hoping for a shake.

“So you’re the little dinosaur my pookie is friends with?” mom asked.

“Pookie?” Spike asked as he held in a chuckle.

“He’s not… he’s not a dinosaur, mom.” I said.

“Yeah, I am nothing like a dinosaur! Believe me, I took a biology test with one.” Spike said.

A cutaway shows Spike sitting down in a biology lab along with Barney the Dinosaur. Barney started to sing his I Love You song; “I love you, you love me, we’re a happy family, with great a big hug, and a kiss from me to you…”

“I know for certain you’re not my real father. I don’t kiss boys, you perv. Just because we’re the same color doesn’t make us the same species, let alone same blood.” Spike said. The cutaway ends.

“So anyways, brah, what did you want to show me?” I asked.

“I got Dead Island 2.” Spike said, showing me the case. “If you want, we can head to the lounge and play it, you and I.”

“That sounds like fun!” I said excitedly.

“My Luna, NO!” mom said as she takes the game from Spike.

“HEY!” Spike yelled.

“Flare, you should know better than playing these kinds of games with kids.” Mom said.

“I play these games with him all the time, and he has no problem with it. Do you, Spike?” I asked.

“Absolutely not! I’m a dragon! I can handle anything!” Spike said.

“If you can handle anything, then here’s a DVD of the Shining.” Mom said as she gives Spike the movie.

“And you just carry that around with you?” I asked.

“What is the Shining?” Spike asked.

“Watch it yourself and you’ll see what I mean, and don’t stop until you’ve watched the entire thing, including the trailers!” mom demanded.

“Okie dokie!” Spike said as he ran into my lounge to watch the movie.

“I never watched the Shining, what’s it like?” I asked.

“You really don’t wanna know.” Mom said. “Anyways, Flarey, did you want to show me around town?”

“Of course! I just would’ve thought you’d want to settle down first.” I said.

“Hey just play on the computer for the entire time I’m here? Is that all you do when you moved here?” mom asked.

“Mom, I haven’t been on the computer as much as I used to!” I said.

“You say that, but this is my first time here. How can I believe you?” mom asked.

“Would I lie to you?” I asked.

“Yes!” mom said.

“Oh, hush!” I said.

“Don’t tell me to hush!” mom yelled at me.

“Getting that deja-vu feeling again.” Rainbow said.

“Yeah, me too.” Pearl said.

“How about instead of this arguing, I’ll take you on that tour to town, alright?” I suggested.

“Good.” Mom said.

“Are we gonna hold hooves while we walk and squeeze them real tight until we hear a snap?” I asked.

“Of course, pookie face! Of course!” mom said. “You know, grandpa used to do that to me when we walked.”

“I still think grandpa was my past life.” I said as the two of us stepped out of the trailer and began our walk.

“Nice hotel!” Spike said as he watched the Shining. “I could tell something scary is gonna happen though. Like over there behind that door, there’s-“ After that moment, Spike hasn’t said a word the entire week, but this isn’t his story now, is it? So who cares? As I was giving my mom a tour around Ponyville, we stopped by Carousel Boutique, and when we got in, Rarity was already making a dress for her.

“Oh Bow, darling, you look splendid in that outfit!” Rarity said to my mom as she was dressed in an 18th century American outfit.

“I was only asking where the restroom is.” Mom said.

“I know, I know, but just look at that hair! So lovely!” Rarity said.

“You put a wig over it.” Mom said.

“Which is exactly why it looks so divine!” Rarity said.

“Flare why did you take me here again?” mom asked.

“I dunno lawl. You wanted a tour.” I said.

“Flare, don’t be a wiseguy.” Mom said. “You really get that from dad.”

“Is that a good thing?” I asked.

“Now with a little powder…” Rarity placed some white make-up powder all over my mom’s face.

“Ahhhhcooo!” mom sneezed.

“Gesundheit!” Rarity said.

“You could just say ‘bless you’ like everypony else.” I said.

“Flare!” mom yelled.

“I’m sorry, is there something wrong with my type of language?” Rarity asked, feeling a little bit insulted.

“Well, actually…” I said.

“No! No there’s not! Your accent is fine, Rarity.” Mom said.

“Just fine?” Rarity asked.

“It’s great!” mom said. “It’s very inspiring! Right, Flare?”

“It’s awesome. Awesome possum! And I’m not only saying that because my mom is here and she would kill me if I didn’t say that.” I said.

“Oh thank you, dear!” Rarity said happily. “You do know how to make a girl feel better about herself, Mrs. Gun!”

“You’re welcome!” mom said.

“Though I gotta say this, mom: why do you say you’re welcome when somepony says thank you, but when ponies say thank you after they sneeze, you don’t say you’re welcome then?” I asked.

“Done! Just look at yourself, Mrs. Gun!” Rarity said as she used her magic to place a mirror in front of my mom so she can check herself out. “You just look smashing!”

“HULK SMASH!” I yelled as I started punching Rarity’s mirror with some Hulk gloves. “RAWR!”

“GOOD HEAVENS!” Rarity yelled.

“FLARE!” mom yelled.

“What? I’m just having some fun! I saw Sweetie Belle doing it yesterday, and Rarity did freak out then.” I said.

“She’s my little sister, Flare.” Rarity informed me.

“Yeah it’s cute when little fillies do it, not full-grown stallions. You should learn to act your age!” mom suggested to me.

“But moooooooooom!” I whined.

“Go, say you’re sorry to Rarity!” mom demanded.

“You’re sorry to Rarity.” I said.

“The right way!” mom yelled.

“Grrr!” I turned around to look at Rarity, and then I mumbled, “Sorry, Rarit...”

“I’m sorry?” Rarity asked.

“Sorry, Rarity.” I mumbled again.

“Louder, Flare! Speak loud and clear!” mom demanded.

“SORRY, RARITY!” I yelled from the top of my lungs.

“Softer!” mom demanded.

“Well which way you want it?!” I asked.

“It’s quite alright, dear. I accept your apology.” Rarity said.

“You are not getting any computer time tonight.” Mom said to me.

“But I…” I said.

“Nope. Not another word.” Mom said.

I started groaning and I yelled, “SIGH!” as I started walking out the door.

“Don’t say ‘sigh’, just sigh!” mom demanded as I walked out of the Boutique.

“He gets his attitude from his daddy.” Mom said.

“Sorry to hear that.” Rarity said.

“He also has his eyes, but he’s fun, and he gets that from me.” Mom said.

“I can see that.” Rarity nodded with an embarrassing smile.

“Now all that cooking stuff, that comes from grandma.” Mom said.

“Uh huh.” Rarity nodded.

“I’m sorry about him. Is he normally this way?” mom asked.

“K-kind of. I learned to live with it. He’s learning what he needs to know from us.” Rarity said.

“That’s pretty much the main reason why he came here, right?” mom asked.

“Yes, indeed.” Rarity said.

“So can I have this dress gift-wrapped?” mom asked.

“What?! Gift wrap a dress?! That’s mad!” Rarity yelled.

“Yeah, I can see why Flare doesn’t like your attitude that much.” Mom said. Rarity sighs and shakes her head, and then she mumbled to herself, “As if MY mother wasn’t bad enough with pointing out my attitude.”

“Oh honey, no need to get upset. How about taking an aspirin and chill with me?” Rarity’s mom suggested.

“Aspirins are for headaches, mother.” Rarity corrected her.

“They can also be used for attitudes.” Rarity’s mom said.

“And for stomach aches.” My mom added. “Oh wait, I think I’m done here.” So after I finished giving my mom a tour around Ponyville, I left her in my trailer to take a nap, and I went over to the Cider Bar with my friends so I can talk out my problems, but before then, we were all watching some TV from our booth.

“We now return to Everybody Hates Present Day Chris.” The TV announcer said.

“Man, Voldemort, what kind of dark lord are you? You let Harry Potter slip right under your nose!” Chris Rock complains to Lord Voldemort.

“Right under my what?” Voldemort asked.

“You know it’s weird that Voldemort had a nose in the first Harry Potter movie when he was just the back of Professor Quirrell’s head, but in movies 4-7 part 2, he didn’t have a nose when he was in full form. What’s up with that?” Crystal asked.

“He looked creepier in the first movie, and it was PG rated, and in all the other movies he was in, he looks like he’s from a Saturday movie cartoon, and those movies are PG-13. Ah mean really!” Engie said.

“Movies are really weird sometimes. Same goes with video games. They allow blood and gore, but they don’t allow nudity, and it really discusses me.” Psyche said.

“What doesn’t discuss you, Psyche?” Crystal asked.

“Flare, are ya alright?” Aqua asked. “Ya are havin’ your fourth cider right now.”

“Meh, three in a half.” I corrected him.

“Is everything alright, mate?” Aqua asked.

“My mom’s been a pain since she came to town. I keep forgetting how much she complains over the last single detail!” I complained.

“I can see where you get your charms from.” Psyche teased.

“HEEEEY! I don’t complain about everything! Holy Wizard of Strength! Why is there a spec on my cider glass? The fan is on too high, and to top it all off, THIS ISN’T EVEN THE BOOTH WE NORMALLY SIT IN!” I complained.

“Uhh, yeah it is.” Engie corrected me.

“WHY MUST PONIES ALWAYS CORRECT ME?! I’m ALWAYS wrong, and everypony else is ALWAYS right!” I yelled.

“FLARE! For Faust’s sake! Calm down!” Blaze yelled.

“Sigh. Sorry, Blaze. Wasn’t just the bullies that bothered me back at home. My parents weren’t really the best of friends of mine either. Mom always complains and she’s helpless, and my dad works too much, and he never cares. At home, I was only able to rely on my fish, and my sister for company.” I said.

“Yeah, I know what it’s like. Seeing ponies argue always gives me flashbacks to my parents arguing all the time.” Aqua said. “I mean, what’s the use of all this arguing? Neither side is gonna win! Hey, honey, how about putting another log on the fire? But dear, I put the log on the fire last time! You’re the only one that can do it! You’re a unicorn! Honey, I’m tired and beat from all the working! Get off my case! But can you at least do me a favor and get some water from the well? Why bother? We can just get some from the sink! But, dear the well has fresher water!”

“Uhh, Aqua?” Blaze asked.

“What’s the difference?! It all comes from the same place!” Aqua keeps arguing with himself. “Can’t I just relax for a change?! Oh look, ya made Wind Racer cry! It was your fault! No it wasn’t, it just means she’s hungry! No it doesn’t! IT JUST MEANS YOU’RE BEING AN INCONSIDERED JERK!” Aqua started deep breathing, and the five of us were all looking at him awkwardly as he was having a whole argument with himself. Aqua calmed himself down and said, “I-I’m sorry. That doesn’t normally happen.”

“I know, you’re normally one of the calm and quiet ones, what happened?” Psyche asked.

“Just a little flashback. I really don’t want to think about it.” Aqua said as he started gulping down the rest of his cider.

“Anyways back to what I was talking about.” I started. “I’m not sure what to do with my mom.”

“Maybe you two should try a relaxing activity together that you both like.” Blaze suggested.

“You know, mom doesn’t normally yell it at me when other ponies are around. Maybe the five of you should come with me.” I suggested.

“But it’s Mother’s Day. It’s a day for just you and her.” Crystal said.

“I know, Crystal, but I’m not sure what else I can do. I think if I just keep my friends close, it should help. What normally ticks her off is my attitude. Maybe having you five with me can really make a difference.” I explained.

“Ok sure, I have no problem with it. I have no plans tomorrow.” Psyche said.

“Can ah bring my ma with me?” Engie asked.

“Of course, Engie!” I said.

“Good. She may need a little oiling and upgrades though.” Engie said.

“Sounds goo- wait, what?” I asked.

“Don’t worry ‘bout it. It’s not really any of your concern.” Engie said.

“How can it not be? You just said- you know what, N-V-M.” I said.

“That’s what I’ve been tryin’ to say.” Engie said.

“Alright I am REALLY confused right now.” I said. “More confused than Ursula in Little Mermaid when she and Arial made that deal.” A cutaway shows Arial having a meet with Ursula the sea witch about wanting legs.

“Ursula, I want legs.” Arial requested.

“Alright, but no voice.” Ursula said.

“Deal!” Arial said. Just then, Ursula used her witchcraft powers to get rid of Arial’s mermaid fin, and then her entire bottom half turns into black octopus legs. Arial tried to complain, but her voice wasn’t there.

“Oh you look gorgeous, my dear! Remember: three days of getting your prince to love you.” Ursula said. “Now if you excuse me, I have to go to Japan because I have another movie to film; an adult content film to be exact.” The cutaway ends.

Back at my trailer, I was making dinner for my mom as well as my friends. Crystal, Blaze, and Psyche were sitting at the table as my mom was washing the dishes, Aqua was in the bathroom, and Engie was helping my mom in putting the dishes away. “You know, mom, you don’t have to do the dishes. You’re my guest of honor.” I said.

“Flarey, you know I love washing the dishes.” Mom said.

“Why can’t I do it?” I asked.

“Because you’re making dinner.” Mom said.

“But I wanna wash the dishes toooooo!” I whined.

“C’mon, Flare, if this what your mom wants, let her have it.” Blaze said.

“But her letting me do stuff is the way of her saying ‘I love you’.” I said. “Her letting me do stuff and forcibly not letting her is her way of saying ‘I really love you’.”

“So, Engineer, what do you do for a living?” mom asked.

“Ah mostly repair mechanical errors around town like TVs or computers, and ah also build robots. Isn’t that right, mom?” Engie asked his mom who was a robot made out of a newspaper vendor and other random junk.

“Affermative.” Engie’s mom said.

“Is that your real mom?” my mom asked.

“Of course she is! We’re flesh in blood!” Engie said as his eye twitched from inside his goggles.

“How about you Blaze, where’s your mom?” my mom asked.

“She’s uhhh, she’s not really a big fan of traveling.” Blaze excused.

“Wait a minute; ah thought ya said she was sick?” Engie asked.

“Yeah… that too.” Blaze stuttered.

“How about you, Aqua?” mom asked.

“Aqua’s in the restroom.” Psyche said.

“Oh… which one are you again?” mom asked.

Psyche was silent for a moment to give my mom a confusing look. “I’m Psyche.” He repeated himself.

“That’s not really an easy name to remember.” Mom said.

“I know right?!” Crystal yelled as she stood her chair and slammed on the table as she said that.

“Over dramatic a bit, Crystal?” Psyche asked.

“So where’s your mom?” mom asked.

“I’d… rather not talk about it.” Psyche said.

“Oh no, I’m done with you, I’m talking to her now.” Mom pointed to Crystal as mom was drying one of the drinking glasses.

“My mom said she’s running a bit late because she’s dealing with a bit of a crisis in Fillydelphia.” Crystal said.

“What happened?” Blaze asked.

“She’s dealing with a crisis in Fillydelphia.” Crystal repeated herself.

“Yes, I know, but what’s the problem?” Blaze asked.

“She’s dealing… with a crisis… in Filly… delphia.” Crystal repeated herself. Blaze sighs and facehoofs himself.

“Wow, am I the only mom here?” mom asked.

“I’m afraid so.” Blaze said.

“Well how about this? For this Mother’s Day, I’ll be all your moms!” mom suggested.

“Oh you don’t have to do that!” Blaze said.

“Yeah, mom, you don’t have to do that.” I said.

“But it would be great!” mom said.

“Yeah, it certainly would!” Crystal nodded.

“Yeah, even though ah already have a mom with me, dibs on that!” Engie said excitedly.

“Hey, do any of ya know that Spike’s in the lounge, rolling around and mumbling to himself looking paranoid?” Aqua asked as he joined in.

“Aqua! Flare’s mom is volunteering on being all of our moms this Mother’s Day!” Crystal said. “Wait, maybe I should’ve added a little suspense in the beginning. Hey, Aqua? Guess what?!”

“Wow! I really don’t know what to say. I mean, nothing can replace my mom, but if ya’re volunteerin’, I can’t say no to an offer like that.” Aqua said.

“You were supposed to say ‘what’, Aqua.” Crystal said.

“Wait, mom! This is our holiday! You and me together! Why are you volunteering in spending equal time with my friends?” I asked.

“Flarey, don’t be stubborn. Your friends need a mom this holiday, and since I’m the only one here, I volunteer to be all of your mom!” mom said. All my friends started to cheer.

“No, mom! It is you being stubborn right now!” I yelled.

“Flare, c’mon! She’s offering, and we’re accepting. Have you ever wanted to have multiple brothers and sisters?” Crystal asked.

“We’re siblings from other mothers. We don’t-“ while I was talking, I was taking dinner to the table, and I wanted to sit down, but Blaze was on my seat. “You’re in my spot.” I told him, and then Blaze moved to a different seat, and I sat down. “As I was saying, we’re siblings from other mothers. We don’t share the same mother.” I corrected them.

“Flare, look, they need a mom. They all look so sad.” Mom said to me. All my friends gave me the puppy-dog look eyes.

“But mooooom!” I whined.

“No, Flare, I made my choice.” Mom said.

“Flare, don’t be like that. Please, dude? Please share your mom? It’s just for one day.” Blaze begged.

“Ya won’t regret it, partner.” Engie said. I thought it over a bit, but while I was thinking about it, the food I was cooking started to burn, but no one cared since my trailer as an automatic sprinkler system in case of a fire, and only in the place it’s burning, so my gaming systems in the other room should be fine.

“20 bits.” I demanded.

“15.” Engie offered.

“10!” I demanded.

“Deal!” Engie said.

“Yay!” I cheered. So we ate our burnt and soaking wet dinner, and everypony went on home. The next day came, and I was doing laundry with my mom. “I’m glad we’re doing something together; just the two of us.” I said.

“Sure. One thing I miss while on vacation is doing laundry.” Mom said as she started pouring the Downey into the washing machine.

“Careful, you’re putting in too much Downey. You’ll make my vests too soft and it’ll make me sleepy.” I said.

“Well this takes me back, me doing laundry, you criticizing me.” Mom said. Just then, I hear a knock on the door.

“Come in!” I yelled. Just then, Crystal walks inside with a basket full of laundry.

“Hey, mom! Hey, Flare!” Crystal said.

“My name isn’t mom.” I said.

“I was talking to your mom.” Crystal corrected me.

“That’s obscured!” I complained. “My name is always first!”

“But today is Mother’s Day, Flare; in short, your mom is first today!” Crystal said.

“Thank you, Crystal! What’s with the laundry?” mom asked.

“Oh my dryer isn’t working so I thought I could dry my clothes in yours.” Crystal requested.

“Why can’t you just hang them up to dry?” mom asked.

“Because then they won’t have that fresh clean laundry smell.” Crystal explained.

“You gotta admit, that is a fair point.” I said.

“Like when you ask me to wash your blanky?” mom asked.

“I told you, mom! It was a white shirt I liked smelling!” I whispered angrily at her.

“You treated it like a blanky.” Mom said.

“Hey there’s nothing wrong for having a blanky, Flare.” Crystal said. “I’m 24, and I still sleep with a blanky.”

“I’m 25 and I don’t sleep with blankys; I sleep with teddy bears.” I said.

“Wow, that’s just sad.” Crystal said as she started dumping her laundry in my dryer. “Hey, mom, if you don’t mind, I’d-“

“Crystal, I hope you’re not gonna give my mom something that’s gonna make me feel bad because Engie already did that this morning.” I said. A cutaway shows me making scrambled eggs, strawberries cut in half, and maple hay bacon strips for my mom before she wakes up. “Yep! This will show my mom I am the best son ever!” I poured some orange juice in a cup, took the toast out of the toaster, and put some butter on the side, and I placed it all in a tray with a little flower vase on it. I walked to the guest bedroom so I can serve my mom breakfast in bed, but when I got there, Engie was playing his guitar while singing Red Solo Cup, and serving my mom Cheerios and pancakes in bed.

“Bravo! Bravo! Such a lovely sound and taste to wake up to! I’ll tell you, Engie, this is so far the best wake up I’ve ever had!” mom said. I started to angrily grind my teeth to what I just witnessed. The cutaway ends.

“Don’t worry, Flare, I’m not trying to give your mom anything right now.” Crystal said.

“Well, I hope you’re not asking her out anywhere because Psyche already ruined that.” I said.

A cutaway shows me printing out two tickets for a Linkin Park concert playing today. “Yep! Mom’s gonna less than three these! She loves Linkin Park, especially when they arrive into town on a wooden train full of heavy metal!” I said excitedly, but when I got towards the front door, my mom and Psyche barge inside my trailer, laughing, and wearing Linkin Park clothes and merchandise.

“Psyche that was the best concert ever! Thanks for the tickets and back-stage V-I-P passes!” mom said. “How did you get them? I thought they were sold out?”

“When you really care about your mother, even a temporary mother, a thankful child would do anything for her!” Psyche said.

“Oh Psyche, you’re such a sweet-talker!” mom said as she pinched his cheek (his face cheek, by the way).

Psyche walked over to me and whispered, “I printed out these tickets and passes illegally. Please don’t tell her that, alright?” I started to angrily grind my teeth again. The cutaway ends.

“Look, Flare, I was only going to ask her if she can choose a dress for me to wear when I take her out for mini-golf!” Crystal said as she takes out two different dresses to show to my mom, one green one with short sleeves, and one blue one with long sleeves and a longer skirt. “Now I can’t tell which one is prettier. I mean, the green one matches your eyes, but the blue one matches your favorite color. I’m not sure how to impress you more.” Crystal said as I angrily grinded my teeth again.

“Hey, either one is fine by me.” Mom said.

“Oh but, mom, this is YOUR day, you should choose!” Crystal said.

“I don’t care, it’s completely up to you!” mom said.

“How about you stop making me look bad?” I asked her.

“Oh, I’m sorry, Flare. Whatever dress mom doesn’t pick for me, you can have the other one.” Crystal offered.

“I don’t want either of those dresses! I prefer a darker blue dress!” I said angrily.

“Yeah, you’re right. A darker blue will certainly suffice me! Thanks, Flare!” Crystal said.

My face started to glow red, redder than usual, and steam popped out of my ears and I started jumping up and down yelling, “FRIEND, FRIEND, FRIEND!”

“Flare, you’re not gonna melt down again are you?” mom asked.

“Melt down?! I hope Flare is not made of nuclear radiation, because if that were the case, I’m leaving town!” Crystal said.

“I’m going for a walk!” I said angrily as I started marching towards the front door, and my marches were so loud, it sounded like a giant stomping.

“He gets his attitude from his daddy, and he has his eyes.” Mom said.

“Oh stop using dad as an excuse!” I yelled as I slammed the door.

After an awkward silence, my mom said, “Now all that cooking, THAT comes from grandma.”

When I got outside, I saw Aqua sitting in front of my house with a six-pack of grape cider. “Aqua?” I said.

“Oh heeeeeeey, Flare!” Aqua said and hiccuped.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“Oh I’m hanging out with my six family members! Unfortunately, three are dead.” Aqua said as he finished a bottle of cider that his unicorn magic was carrying. “And now four.”

“You’re taking this no mom thing really seriously, huh?” I asked.

“You don’t know the half of it.” Psyche said as he takes one of the cider bottles.

“I pretty much don’t know any of it.” I said.

My mom opens the door and said, “Oh there you are, Flare. Oh, hey Psyche, Aqua!”

“Hey, mommy!” Aqua said as he hiccuped.

“You could tell Aqua is not sober because he always says ‘mother’.” Psyche said.

“Aww, Aqua, is everything alright?” mom asked.

“Of course! Why wouldn’t it be?” Aqua asked happily.

“Are you sure?” mom asked.

“No.” Aqua said as he started crying. “I’m so lonely, I have no family except for my sister!”

“Oh yes, born alone, die alone, it’s a tragic pony emotion, now if you excuse my mom, her and I are going mini-golf together! Right, mom?” I asked.

“Wait a minute! I thought I was taking her mini-golf?” Crystal complained.

“Finders keepers, losers crying. Tongue face.” I teased as I stuck my tongue out at her.

“Flare, you have a friend that’s upset.” Mom said.

“Two friends actually.” Psyche added.

“What do you do when a friend is sad?” mom asked.

“Offer them a hot beverage.” I said.

“And when they’re drunk as a skunk with cider, what do we offer?” mom asked.

“Coffee.” I said.

“And what do we do it with?” mom asked. I gave Aqua a big ugly grin because I wasn’t really in the mood to smiling right now, and then I walked back into my trailer to make the coffee for Aqua and Psyche.

“Thank you… mom.” Psyche said happily.

“I’m not gonna get my mini-golf, am I?” I complained.

“You want some oreos?” Crystal asked.

“Double stuff?” I asked.

“No, regular.” Crystal said.

“Nice. Kick a pony when he’s down.” I complained. After I made the coffee, Blaze and Engie showed up to join my humiliation. It got even more humiliating when she started showing my friends baby pictures of me.

“And that picture here is Flare in the bathtub.” Mom pointed.

“Why are you showing us this? Won’t Flare get embarrassed?” Blaze asked.

“Oh chill-ax, Blaze. What is there to be embarrassed about? Ponies don’t normally wear clothes anyway.” Engie said.

“Yeah that’s funny word ‘chill-ax’.” Crystal chuckled.

“Hey what’s that a picture of?” Psyche asked.

“Oh this is adorable! It was Flare’s first pizza!” mom said.

“That he ate or that he made?” Crystal asked.

“That he ate of course! He’s only like… 2 in this picture.” Psyche said.

“1 ½, actually.” Mom corrected him. “And it was actually the first pizza he made! He was an expert cook at his youth, and unlike other foals, he had a problem with us changing his diaper.”

“Why? Even though I’m afraid to ask.” Aqua asked.

“Oh he kept wanting his privacy. He didn’t know how to do it himself. It was a miracle when he started potty training.” Mom said as she sighed. “Best 10th birthday ever!”

“Alright, I got the coffee ready.” I said as I gave them to Psyche and Aqua.

“It’s decaf, right? I can only drink decaf.” Aqua said.

“And mine has to have decaf.” Psyche said.

“Thanks for telling me before you drank.” I said as I switched the coffees, and then they both drank them. “How are they?”

“Ya had it right before ya switched them; ya gave me non-decaf.” Aqua said.

“Yeah that’s my luck lately.” I said as I switched the coffees again. “That better?”

“Umm… I’m sorry, but Psyche already drank from this.” Aqua said awkwardly.

“Oh I don’t mind.” Psyche said as he started drinking from the same spot Aqua drank out of.

“Ew.” Engie said.

“Hey mom, listen…. I just wanted to apologize for my behavior before. It was unacceptable, and I learned my lesson.” I said.

“Apology accepted.” Mom said.

“Great! So that means you and I can just go to mini-golf alone then!” I said excitedly.

“No, I’m still allowing your friends to come along.” Mom said.

“B-but…. Mooooooom, I apologized……. and it was hard because it was a simple fact that I didn’t do anything wrong.” I explained.

“Flare, your friends need a mom.” My mom said.

“AH DON’T! MINE IS AT HOME, SHOWERIN’!” Engie yelled as his eye twitched again.

“But pookie faaaaace!” I whined.

“You call her pookie face too?” Crystal asked.

“She’s my best friend pookie face, and I’m her pookie face best friend!” I said. “We even have our own songs we made together! Like this: We’re friends foreverrrrrr! Go ahead, mom! Your go!”

“We’re friends foreverrrrr!” my mom sang.

“We’re friends… forever, bum bum bum bum!” I sang.

“Best friends… forever, bum bum bum bum!” she sang.

“See? We have a special bond, a bond that we simply cannot share with other ponies. Nothing personal, but she’s MY mom and nopony can take that away from me!”

“And I agree with you, Flare. But your friends need a substitute mom.” Mom said.

“Mom, quit being stubborn!” I demanded.

“Are they being serious, Blaze?” Crystal asked.

“I guess.” Blaze said.

“Yeah I agree with them, you do look like a mare.” Crystal said, and Blaze sighs.

“Flare, she’s not being stubborn, you are.” Psyche said.

“She’s offerin’ to fill our empty spaces with the love that we couldn’t have in our teenage years at least.” Aqua said.

“Yeah, she’s being very considerate to our well-bein’…. Not that ah need it; ah still got a mom!” Engie said as he twitched his eye again. I started to grind my teeth angrily once again.

“Come on, Flare! Come with us to mini-golf! I promise we’ll be one big happy family, just like what your mom wants! It’s her day!” Blaze said.

“No. I’m gonna just stand right here until she changes her mind.” I pouted.

“Well, you’re gonna be standing there all day then.” Mom said.

“Come on, let’s not force Flare into anything. Let’s go golfing!” Crystal said as the six of them started walking out of my trailer to go play mini-golf.

“Ah call the orange ball!” Engie yelled just before the trailer door shut.

“I’m not the stubborn one, she is! I’m supposed to be the one pleasing my mom this day; not them! This is starting to be an epic fail of a Mother’s Day! Wouldn’t you agree, Spike?” I asked Spike as he was laying on the ground, still in paralyzed in fear. “You know what? This is Mother’s Day, and my mom hasn’t been my Mother since I was still living in Mareami! Since I started living here, Fluttershy has been my mother! You know what? Forget my actual mom! I’m gonna go see my Ponyville mom: Fluttershy! My true mom! The one that always took care of me, and never gave me any problems!”

“Who was there when I was sick? Fluttershy!” I shouted. “Who was there when I was sad? Fluttershy! Who doesn’t judge me of my flaws and never gives me any problems? Fluttershy! Who’s the one that… umm… umm…. who’s the…. Umm…. w-who’s the one… meh, I’ll think about it on the way to her house.” So I walked on over to Fluttershy’s cottage so she can cheer me up, and I can give her the Mother’s Day she deserves. Fluttershy let me into her house and asked me to take a seat.

“Thank you for coming to visit me, Flare. With Twilight, Pinkie, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash busy with their mothers, and AppleJack visiting the cemetery for the day, and as I haven’t spoken to my mom in years since she hates animals, I really appreciate the company.” she said.

“You’re welcome, Flutters. I was really in need of your help, that’s the main reason why I’m here.” I said.

“Well, no matter what, I’ll always be here to help! What seems to be the problem?” Flutters asked.

“My mom.” I said.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Flutters said.

“Why are you apologizing? It’s not your fault.” I said.

“I know, but… I just… feel sorry. I mean, I don’t have to if you don’t want me to.” Flutters said.

“See? That’s why you’re better than my mom! You never give me a hard time!” I said.

“Oh, I’m sorry for asking, but… how is your mom giving you a hard time?” Flutters asked.

“Well, unlike you, she’s doesn’t judge me, she doesn’t give me a hard time, she doesn’t yell over every single thing, and… listen to the last phone message she gave me!” I explained as I took out my phone and put it on speaker so she can hear the last message my mom gave me.

My mom’s voice message said, “Hey, pookie face my friend! I’m looking for you! Hello? Ring ring ring! Ring ring ring! Hello? I’m calling you! Alright, I guess you’re busy right now. I love you so much, just checking! Poke! Call me back, alright please? I love you! Bye bye!”

“CAN’T YOU SEE HOW PUSHY SHE IS?!” I yelled.

“Oh, well… she actually sounds like a very nice mare.” Flutters said.

“She is nice, and I love her with all my less than threes! It’s just…. It’s complicated. It’s not so much of her yelling and attitudes; it’s more of… she pays more attention to my friends than she does to me. That stuff she does doesn’t really bother me that much.” I explained.

“Well…. Why Is she hanging with your friends more?” Flutters asked.

“All their moms are ‘unavailable’ at this time, so she offered to become their mom for today.” I said.

“That sounds sweet.” Flutters said.

“Sweet? SWEET?! Do you even know what they’ve been doing all day?! They’re trying to become better children than me! They’re trying to make me feel bad!” I yelled.

Meanwhile, my mom and my friends were walking past Fluttershy’s house on the way to golf. “Are you sure Flare is here?” my mom asked.

“He’s upset right now, and whenever he’s upset, he goes over to Fluttershy’s house.” Blaze explained.

“That sounds awfully nice of her to take care of him when he’s sad.” Mom said.

“You know, I never get that: ‘Awfully nice’. Does that mean it’s awful, or it’s nice?” Crystal asked.

So my mom walked over to Fluttershy’s door and was just about to ring her doorbell, but she overhears the conversation we're having. “You know, Flutters… sometimes I stop and think, why is she my mom? If she wants to be the mom of my friends… I guess I can’t force that, but… because she did that, I feel betrayed; I feel she just wants to disown me, and leave me abandoned, like leaving me on a church doorstep.” I explained.

“But she didn’t, right?” Flutters asked.

“I know she didn’t, but… you’re there for me, right Flutters?” I asked.

“Of course I am, Flare! I’ll ALWAYS be there for you!” Flutters said.

“Thanks. I mean, if you were my mom, things would be a lot easier for me!” I said as I gave Fluttershy a big hug, and she hugged me back and nuzzled my head. My mom heard everything outside, and she sadly walked out of her yard and back towards my friends.

“So how did it go with Flare?” Blaze asked.

“You know what, Psyche?” mom asked.

“Blaze.” Blaze corrected her.

“Oh what’s the difference? No matter which one of you I talk to, I’m this much closer to losing Flare as a son, and I cannot have that.” Mom said sadly.

“What do ya mean?” Aqua asked.

“I think it’s best I just return to Mareami.” Mom said.

“What? No, don’t go now! Where’s mah second mom when ah need her!” Engie begged as his eye twitched again.

“You don’t have to leave!” Psyche begged.

“I’m sorry, but I do. I think I caused Flare way too much pain since I first came here. I should just go home, and I won’t interfere with his personal life again.” Mom said as she started walking away sadly.

“But…. Bow… please!” Blaze begged. She just walked away, and she didn’t look back. My friends started to feel bad, but they knew what they had to do, so they walked up towards Fluttershy’s door. I was still hugging Flutters inside her cottage, and she seemed to enjoy it more than I thought, and as we were hugging, the door knocked.

“Come in!” Flutters yelled. My friends opened the door and walked inside.

“Flare, we need to talk.” Blaze said.

“What happened? I thought you were all mini-golfing with YOUR mom?” I asked with an attitude.

“You see, that’s the thing, dude.” Blaze said.

“Look, brahs, it’s fine… if you really wanna spend this much time with her, steal her from me, then I won’t get in your way. Fluttershy is taking care of me, and by tomorrow, this will all be over. She’ll be my mom again, and not yours.” I said.

“Yeah, well, maybe she won’t be EITHER of our’s!” Psyche said.

“Psyche, don’t be ridiculous! At least don’t be more ridiculous than you usually are.” I said.

Psyche sighs and said, “You know what, Flare? Because of YOUR stubbornness, your mom is leaving town! YOUR OWN MOM! You know, you’re lucky to have a mom! There are ponies out there that have no moms! In fact, there are ponies out there that don’t have families at all! You gotta stop being selfish! Disowning your mom is the most hateful thing a pony can do! Unlike some of us, we never had a chance to grow up fully with our moms! YOU’RE LUCKY because YOU do! Your mom is still around, and you just turned your back on her!”

“Wait…. So…. I have the feeling you’re trying to tell me something.” I said.

“You’re a humongous JERK!” Psyche said.

“Oh.” I said. “Oh no! I beg to differ! Out of all of us, I was the most friendly! I was only telling my mom not to hang with you because I really care about her! You all were stealing her from me!”

“Flare! We weren’t stealing her from you! Our moms are not around!” Blaze explained.

“Mine is.” Engie said.

“ENGIE, GROW UP! Your mom is a robot! Stop believing in stuff that aren’t true and grow some muscle, man!” Blaze yelled at him. Engie just stood there in silence, and then Blaze turned to me and said, “Your mom is leaving Ponyville in sorrow, and it’s all your fault!” I started to feel upset. I looked down at the ground and thought for a bit.

“Wow… I… didn’t realize it.” I said.

“Flare, just think about all the times your mom has been there for you!” Blaze said.

“Oh…. I know she’s there for me. I know she’d never replace me! I guess…. Maybe I was a bit jealous.” I said.

“A BIT?!” all my friends yelled at the same time.

“A BIT?!” I yelled. “See? I joined along.”

“Flare… I think you should go home… look at the pictures on your wall… and look at your refrigerator.” Fluttershy said.

“Why?” I asked.

“Trust me, Flare.” Fluttershy placed her hoof on my shoulder and nodded. “Do it.” So I did what she said, I headed on home.

“You know, I’ve been going to Flare’s trailer since Faust knows how long, and I never seen Flare use his exercise equipment.” Crystal said.

When I got to my trailer, I walked inside, and Total Eclipse of the Heart by Bonnie Tyler started playing in the background as I looked at pictures of my mom and I. One of the pictures showed me as a foal in my mom’s arms, one showed her taking care of me while I was sick, another one showed me feeding her ice cream, and the next one showed me dumping the whole bucket on her head, and the next one was her putting me in time out after I dumped the whole ice cream bucket on her head, the next one showed her and I wearing costumes for Nightmare Night when I was Jango Fett and she was a baby and I took her binky, and the next one showed her potty training me while I was reading Death Note, and the next one showed both of us making Hamburger Helper together but without using actual meat since we’re ponies, and the last one showed a picture that was taken just a couple of months after I left Mareami and we were hugging. After that I just sadly walked into my kitchen and saw drawings that I made for her, and a note that said: ‘Mommy, will you marry me? – Flarr, age 6.’ (yeah, I didn’t really know how to spell my name then). When I looked at that note, tears started to fall out of my eyes. “Crying face.” I said. “WHAT HAVE I DONE?!” I was wearing a tuxedo and started running out of my trailer and to the trainstation as Bonnie Tyler was singing: “And I need you now tonight!” and on the way to the station, I saw a flower merchant, and I bought some flowers, and I was so close to the trainstation.

“All board for Mareami!” the conductor yelled.

“WAAAAAAAAAAAAAIT!” I yelled, but I was too late. The conductor went inside the train and the train left for Mareami.

“NOOOOOOOO!” I yelled. “MOM! My flesh and blood! My one and only mom! What have I done?! I’m a failure as a son! I should’ve known better than to be so shell fish! I mean… be so selfish!” I felt like I was about to cry, but then I felt a tap on my shoulder, and it was my mom standing behind me.

“I knew you’d feel that way.” She said.

“MOM!” I yelled excitedly as I gave her a big hug. “I am so sorry! I didn’t mean any of what I said before! I guess… with us being apart for so long, I guess I felt that we should spend more time together, but when I saw you with my friends, I just got… SO ANGRY! I felt enraged, and I thought you’d abandon me!”

“Flarey, I would NEVER abandon you! You’re my son, and you always will be! Yes, we do have problems sometimes. I get mad, you meltdown… but I could never replace you! I thought with your friends being alone for Mother’s Day, I wanted to fill in that empty space for them.” Mom explained.

“You really are the best mom in the world!” I smiled.

She smiled as well and said, “I know I am.”

“I thought you said dad was the wiseguy in the family?” I asked.

“Well…. I guess he’s a bad influence on me too.” Mom teased.

“I know you’d never abandon me mom, but dad’s an idiot not to go with you! Why didn’t he come to Ponyville?” I asked.

“You know what, Flare? You’re right about dad. If you should be mad at anypony, you should be mad at him.” Mom said. We both chuckled and we gave eachother a hug again.

“Oh, mom! On the way here, I got you some flowers!” I said.

“Oh how nice! Where are they?” mom asked.

“They’re right here.” I said with my mouth full, and holding my hoof out, but there was nothing there. “Hey where did the flowers go?!”

“You know what, Flare? I’m not gonna complain about your eating disorder this time.” Mom said, and then I burped up a flower petal, but before it could hit the ground, I caught it with my tongue like a frog. Leave no petal uneaten!

Later that night, my mom, my friends, and I all went to the mini-golf course to play some golf together, and while we were at it, I was writing a letter to Princess Luna. It goes: “Dear Princess Luna, Mother’s Day is one of the most important days of the year, because it shows your mom how much you care, and no matter what, she’ll always be there for you. There are ponies out there that don’t have mothers, and you should be lucky that you still have one, that’s what makes you better than those miserable motherless ponies. I’ve learned that you should always be grateful on what your mom gives, because your mom can be the best friend anypony can ever have.”

“You need me to spell check that for you, dude?” Psyche asked.

“Oh no thanks. I’m not gonna be sending this for a while, not until Spike gets out of that paranoia.” I said as I placed the scroll in my vest pocket.

“Hey, Flare, thanks for letting us borrow your mom for the rest of the day. It’s better than thinkin’ ah actually got one. That was unhealthy.” Engie said.

“You all can use my mom whenever you wish. Well… as long as dad doesn’t catch you.” I said. Over on the windmill hole, my mom whacks the ball with the golf club and it rolls over to the windmill, right through it, and it rolls towards the hole, but when it gets to the hole, it just leans on the edge and doesn’t go through.

“Oh my Luna!” mom complained.

“Awww, sorry mom. Better luck next time.” Aqua said.

My mom smirks at Aqua, and then she leans her head towards the ball, and her horn starts to glow, and she yells, “Imma firin mah arrows!” and then a bunch of glowing arrows shoots out of her horn and gets shot everywhere in the course, and the impact makes the ball go inside the horn. “YES! Wooo! That was awesome!” mom yelled.

“YEAH YOU GO MOM!” I yelled.

“If you were gonna use magic, you could’ve used levitation, mom.” Blaze informed her.

“Mom? Why are you calling her mom, son?” a voice from the distance yelled out, and just then, a dragon started flying from the sky and landing over at the golf course.

“MOM?!” Blaze yelled.

“Hello, son.” The dragon said.

“Mom? THIS… is your mom?” Crystal asked.

“I’m a draconian, remember?” Blaze asked. “My mom is a dragon, and my dad is a pony.”

“I thought you said she doesn’t like traveling?” Psyche asked.

“Ah thought ya said she was sick?” Engie asked.

“What’s wrong, Blaze? Too embarrassed to tell your friends about me?” the dragon asked.

“Psyche, Aqua, Engie, Crystal, Flare, Bow, this is my mom Demona.” Blaze said embarrassingly.

“Nice to meet you all.” Demona said.

“Likewise! The second dragon I met on this trip!” my mom said excitedly.

“You know, you can’t spell Demona without demon!” Crystal teased.

“What?” Blaze asked.

“Hey, Demona? Ever noticed your son looks like a mare?” Crystal asked.

Demona chuckled and said, “Yes I do, young pony. He gets that from his grandfather, whom, was a mare.” She teased.

“Sh-shut up, mom.” Blaze said embarrassingly.

“Well, Flare, I’m proud of you! You were able to make things right with your mom!” Fluttershy said.

“Well, I couldn’ve done it without you, Flutters!” I said.

She blushed and said, “Oh… well… maybe… well, anyways, I gotta get my little Angel to bed. He’s so tired, and I promised him I’d read him Peter Cottontail.” She nuzzled Angel as Angel himself was sitting on her back, thumping his foot and smiling over the nuzzling.

“Ooooh, that bunny is there is gonna steal my Ponyville mom, huh?” I asked to myself angrily as I started grinding my teeth once again, and while I was doing so, one of my top teeth chipped. “OW!” I yelled in pain. “Chipped a tooth!”

Author's Note

The remake of the Just Mommy and Me chapter. Originally, this chapter was mostly about Spike, and where his family comes from, as well as all of the Mane Six's moms were there, including Flare's mom: Bow Gun. That's all been scrapped, and unlike most other remakes, this chapter was started over from scratch. The whole story was changed to a story about Flare and his bond with his mom, and the only other moms we see is Rarity's mom and Blaze's mom. This chapter also shares the growing mother-son type relationship between Flare and Fluttershy, although Fluttershy still doesn't know Flare feels that way about her; for all she knows, he has a crush on her.

The Royal Pizza Inspection

One beautiful sunny day (or at least it was partly cloudy out), I went outside and went to my mailbox, taking out a few letters. I then went back inside my trailer and sat down on my office chair near my fish tank. “Oh I hope he has that new recipe for fish flakes.” Yoyo hoped.

“He doesn’t even make the flakes, Yoyo. He just buys them from the store.” Piddles corrected him.

“Oh on the contrary, Piddles. They seem homemade; made with love.” Yoyo said.

“Everything Flare does is made with love, or so he says.” Dorthey said.

“I can feel the love inside me! I can feel it penetrate me!” Darrel said excitedly.

“Do you even listen to yourself, Darrel?” Piddles asked.

"Let's see what we got here.... bill, bill, bill, donate to the children’s hospital, a royal letter. Nothing special." I said as I threw all my letters aside. "You know fishies? At times like these I really want to host a special event. Nothing like New Year’s though. Ponies always overdo it with their fireworks.”

A cutaway shows me playing a game on my XBUCKS, and all my attention was focused upon it. “Alllllright… I gotta be extra careful… I have to concentrate… let’s not fall off this rickety bridge… there’s no ogre playing around on it… almost there, aaaaaaaand…” but before I could get across I hear a booming sound coming from outside which really startles me. “Oh c’mon! It’s December 26th! It’s not New Year’s yet! Quit launching your fireworks!” I yelled out. I went back to play on my game. Luckily, my character never fell off the bridge so I was still good. “Alright, thank Wizard of Feelings I’m still in! Alright, concentrate…”

“Flare, can I borrow some crackers?” Spike asked as he popped up from behind me.

“AAAAAH!” I yelled as he startled me and my character fell in the lava and died. I just sat there with a huge shocking look on my face, with my frown drooping down about a foot to the ground and my eyes were big and my pupils were small.

“So crackers?” Spike asked again. I didn’t say anything. “Flare? Helloooooo?” Spike waved in front of my face. “Are you sleeping?”

“Pantry.” I mumbled angrily.

“Thanks, dude!” Spike said excitedly as he started whistling and he walked out. The cutaway ends.

“I really don’t like getting boring mail, you fishies know that? All I got is three bills, a hospital donation, and a royal letter. I mean what’s so fun about that?” I complained.

“Is he serious?” Dorthey asked.

“I know! Isn’t getting mail fun?” Darrel asked.

“I swear these bills, donation and royal letter are as ridiculous as losing the little rubber thing on your headphones.” I complained.

“Is he not at least a bit concerned about the royal letter?” Pearl asked. “This is big news right here!”

“Look at these headphones, fishies. Look at them!” I yelled as I showed my headphones to my fish. “See? This side has a little rubber thing on it, and this side does not. I can’t even fit the left side on my ear anymore without it!” I placed my headphones on my ears and the left side falls out once I let go. “See?! These things are so easy to lose!”

“When is he going to notice the letter?” Dorthey asked.

“Beats me, but I’m sure he’ll find out eventually.” Rainbow said.

“Oh wait, one of these letters…” I said as I observed them.

“See? Told you.” Rainbow said.

“One of these bills isn’t a bill! It’s an income tax refund! WOO HOO!” I cheered.

“You were saying, Rainbow?” Dorthey asked mischievously to him. Pearl swims up to the top of the tank really fast and squirts water on the royal letter that was sitting on the counter.

“Sheesh, Pearl! You’re pretty jumpy today. You got this royal letter all wet. You should be careful.” I said. Pearl facefinned herself.

“Face it, Pearl. It’s the less important things he worries about, and the more important things he worries about less.” Piddles said.

A cutaway shows a great big Cragadile from the Everfree Forest invading Ponyville. Ponies started screaming and running all over the place as the Cragadile attacked. As for me, I was sitting on a park bench and looking at my phone. “I know this is terrible!” I panicked. “Look at this newsletter I got! It says there’s a Cragadile attacking Ponyville but I don’t see one anywhere! This is such a rip-off of news! What’s the Media runned by, monkeys? The same monkeys that are in charge of Hasbro?!” Just then the cragadile crawled up behind me and roared at me. I just looked at it with a blank impression on my face. “You’re not a cragadile, you’re an amphigator. You have U-shaped snout while cragadiles have a more V-shape.”

The amphigator sighed. “There’s just no fooling you ponies, huh? Well thanks a lot for ruining my hunting spree.” The amphigator complained as he started crawling back into Everfree Forest.

“Yeah you can’t fool me. Amphigators don’t live in Everfree Forest, they live in Hollow Shades.” I corrected him.

“Maaaaaan!” the amphigator complained. The cutaway ends.

“Oh look at this!” I said as I noticed the royal letter on the table.

“It’s about time he noticed.” Rainbow said.

“Senpai noticed you royal letter!” Yoyo said. I moved the royal letter to the side and saw another letter under it. “Health Inspector is coming to my shop tomorrow. I better get prepared.”

“JUST PICK UP THE ROYAL LETTER YOU DUMMY!” Darrel yelled.

“Whoa, Darrel!” Yoyo said with a surprised tone.

“Don’t worry, I didn't call him stupid. Dummy isn't as dumb as stupid, believe me.” Darrel said.

“Oh look at this! It’s a royal letter from… Shining Armor! Wow, how did he know my address?” I asked as I opened the letter. “I prefer it being from Princess Luna, but no prob.” I started reading the letter out loud after I cleared my throat. "Dear Flare Gun, My wife and I were thinking of going out to dinner in Ponyville. I will be greatly appreciated if you can provide Cadance and I with a V.I.P. dinner for two at your best seat in the restaurant. It’s Cadance and mine’s anniversary since we first met, and I want to make sure she has the best dinner you can ever make. I promise I’ll pay royally handsome for it. We’ll be at your shop tonight at 8 PM, Ponyville time. Thanks a bunch for your time. Sincerely, Shining Armor.”

After reading the letter, I stopped and I thought to myself for a second; “I wonder what he meant by paying me royally handsome? Is he… is he cheating on his wife for me?” My fish started shaking their heads at my comment, or facefinned themselves, except for Darrel though.

“How am I not surprised? Flare gets all the ladies, doesn't he?” Darrel asked.

“Shining Armor is a guy.” Piddles corrected him.

“Ooooh…” Darrel said awkwardly.

“Yeah.” Piddles said.

When I got to work, I saw Lyra and Bon Bon getting ready for the day. "Ten hut, soldiers!" I yelled as I stomped one of my hooves on the floor after I walked in.

"Excuse me?" Bonnie asked in a confused tone.

"You dare question your sarge? 50 push ups!" I yelled.

"What's going on, Flare?" Lyra asked.

"I got this here letting from-“ I started but once I picked it up from my vest pocket it fell on the floor. Once I picked it up with my hoof, I said again, “I got this here letter from Shining Armor saying-“ just then the letter falls off my hoof again.

“Is it a Hoops and Yoyo card? I love those cards!” Lyra asked.

“Nope, just a royal letter from Shining- you know what? I’m just gonna leave the letter on the floor.” I complained. “Anyways, Prince Shining Armor gave me this letter because tonight him and Princess Cadance are coming down here to eat at my shop.”

“That’s fantastic, Flare! Your shop is a good ol fashion royalty hang out now.” Bonnie said.

“It sure is, Bonnie! I named one of my cocktails after Luna after she came down here to my shop and said this was the best cocktail she’s ever had, which was why I called it the Luna Special.” I explained.

“So what do you need us to do, bossman?” Bonnie asked.

“Well, I’ll be closing the shop at 6 today and I’ll need EVERYPONY’S help to make sure this royal treat will be the best. I just hope my friends aren't busy.” I said.

“You should ask Twilight and her friends to help.” Lyra suggested.

“Nah, they did too much for me already, I can’t ask them for this, but I will invite them over to eat here and give me some confidence for the royal couple’s arrival.” I said. “Also they can pay extra because with the royal couple here, ponies would do anything to meet them, let alone eat with them.”

“Are you really going to do that, Flare?” Bonnie asked.

“I didn’t know there was another Flare here.” I shrugged.

“No I mean… eh forget it.” Bonnie said.

“Forget what?” I asked.

“Nevermind.” Bonnie said.

“Nevermind what?” I asked.

“Lyra, help.” Bonnie asked with an irritated tone.

“No keep going; I’m loving this!” Lyra said as she chuckled.

"Am I gonna have a part in this?" Derpy asked as she walked in.

“Oh Derpy! When did you come in? Your shift doesn’t start till noon.” I said.

“It’s a holiday.” Derpy said.

“What holiday is it?” Bonnie asked.

“Official muffin day!” Derpy said excitedly as she started throwing muffins all over the place.

“Oh that’s right I forgot!” I chuckled and facehoofed myself.

“So if it’s a holiday, we can have a day off?” Bonnie asked.

“No way, sista! I’m opened on most holidays! Holidays is when ponies take off from work.” I said.

“Exactly!” Bonnie said.

“So they’d be going out to lunch or ask for delivery for parties. Holidays are when this place is the busiest!” I said.

“So if you’re going to get a lot of money for the crowds coming to the shop today, why pay them extra for Shining Armor and Cadance’s visit?” Bonnie asked.

“The more the merrier, right?” I asked.

“He’s got a point there, Bonnie.” Lyra nodded. “That’s why I wear more than one hairnet whenever I’m working in the kitchen. Double the hairnets mean double the chance of hair NOT falling on the food. Same goes for doubling the aprons means less stains on my coat here.”

“I sometimes don’t understand you, Lyra.” Bonnie said.

“Hey, you’re the one that wanted to hang out with me.” Lyra reminded her.

“How about me?” Derpy asked.

“The only time the three of us ever hung out was that one time at the park.” Bonnie reminded her.

A cutaway shows Derpy, Lyra, and Bonnie all sitting on a park bench. Bonnie was laying on her stomach with her head up and her hooves in front of her, and she thought to herself, “Am I the only one that knows how to sit normally?”

The way Lyra was sitting is the way a human sits, on her behind, and Lyra thought to herself, “Am I the only one that knows how to sit normally?”

As for Derpy, she was hanging upside down with a muffin on her behind, and she thought to herself, “Am I the only one that knows how to sit normally? Aren’t ponies supposed to wear a muffin on their behinds?” The cutaway ends.

"Now then, I'll let you gals know what you're gonna be doing later, but for now, let's get the morning rush and afternoon rush outta the way, and then we'll worry about royalty. Kay? Kay thanks bye." I instructed the three as I started walking to my office and Bonnie and Lyra were heading to their posts, but Derpy is still standing in her 'ten-hut' position. "Uhh... Ditzy?" I asked her.

"Sir!" Derpy yelled.

"At ease, private.” I said.

"Okay Sarge!" Derpy said, going back to her 'regular' self. Hours went by and eventually it was 6:14 PM. I waited for the last customers to leave (who was Mr. Waddle).

"Thanks for coming! Tell your friends! Smiley face." I waved to the customer. I then closed the door and turned off the OPEN sign. “Phew! I thought he’d never leave. I’m glad I made sure he left this time because last time he was here, he was locked in for the night.”

“But couldn’t he just unlock the door and leave?” Bonnie asked.

“Yeah you’d LOVE that, wouldn’t you, Bonnie?” I asked with an attitude.

“I only meant that… ugh, nevermind!” Bonnie groaned.

“Alright, TEN HUT SOLDIERS!” I yelled.

“SIR!” Derpy yelled.

“Nah.” Lyra said, just sitting down on one of the booths with her hind-legs on the table.

“Now then, the royal couple is coming to my shop in 106 minutes-“ I started.

“Which is 1 hour and 46 minutes!” Derpy interrupted.

“Exactly!” I said.

“Wow, how did you know that?” Bonnie asked.

“I’m clumsy, I’m not stupid.” Derpy said as she slipped on something on the floor and fell down. “Ow! Who left this letter here?”

“Bonnie, Lyra, Derpy, you want to know why Shining Armor and Princess Cadance want to come to my shop?” I asked.

“Sure, why not?” Lyra shrugged.

“Well I wanna know too. Now let’s get to work in shaping this place up for them!” I yelled.

“YES SIR!” Derpy yelled as she ran to the bathroom.

“Ok so Derpy’s handling the bathroom. Bonnie, you’re on cleanup in the dining room.” I said as I gave her Swiffer.

“What’s this?” Bonnie asked.

“It’s a Swiffer. It works better than a mop; it cleans up more dust and there’s no hastle, unlike a regular mop.” I said. Just then, one of my old mops was staring in through the window while the “Baby Come Back” song was playing in the background.

I went up to the window and said, “Sorry it has to be this way, but we can still be friends.” I said; then I closed the blinds. “As for you, Lyra, I want you to count everything in the kitchen and make sure we have enough food for the royal couple.”

“Again? I just checked this afternoon and the freezer and storage areas are full!” Lyra complained.

“You can never be too careful, sista. Now get counting.” I demanded.

“This would be so much easier if I had fingers.” Lyra complained.

“Yeah, well, you don’t.” I said as Lyra mumbled to herself and walked into the freezer to count the food. I heard the bell over by the front door ding, and I saw Crystal, Engie, Psyche, Blaze, and Aqua walk in.

“I keep telling you, Engie, light gathering power of a telescope is determined by the size of your primary mirror or objective lens. It's difficult to change that without a new telescope or a significant redesign of the existing one.” Psyche explained to him.

“And ah keep tellin’ you, Psyche, that ah can just whack the telescope with mah wrench and it’ll become more powerful in the matter of seconds, just so as long as there’s an ammo refurbish locker nearby.” Engie explained.

“Oh thank Wizard of Hope you made it!” I said in relief.

“Of course we came, Flare. We’re always there to help in a friend’s time in need.” Aqua said.

“Now I know you ripped that off from the internet.” I said.

“Hey Flare, congratulations on being the top picked restaurant for Shining Armor and Princess Cadance to visit in. You must be very proud of yourself.” Blaze said.

“Thanks, brah! I am proud of myself, as well as my employees for their hard work. This wouldn’ve been possible if this place wasn’t the most successful pizza parlor in all of Equestria. I mean look at this place!” I explained.

“I know. This place really is a milestone for your life, isn’t it?” Blaze asked.

“Blaze, I’d be NOTHING without my pizza shop! Flare’s Pizza Parlor is my life. It’s always been a dream of mine to open one up. All thanks to Grandma Carbine Gun’s special recipes for all kinds of different treats; it has inspired me to make up a recipe of my own, and what better recipe to make than one of my favorite foods: pizza?” I explained.

“I understand how you feel, Flare.” Crystal said. “I once really wanted to make my own hayburger restaurant.”

“What stopped ya?” Aqua asked.

“I’ve always made them wrong. I’ve been creating oat burgers instead of hayburgers, so I gave up.” Crystal said.

“What’s the difference?” Aqua asked.

“Aqua, everypony knows that oat burgers are far healthier than hayburgers.” Crystal corrected him.

“Isn’t that a good thing then?” Aqua asked.

“If they’re healthier, that means they won’t taste as good. Everypony knows the healthier foods are the less delicious types of foods.” Crystal said.

“Crystal’s right, that’s why I eat Mounds every day for a snack. Ah could care less about my cholesterol level. If ah die, ah could just respawn, obviously.” Engie said.

“Alright we’re getting off topic here.” I said. “My point is: if my shop were to go out of my business by unforeseen consequences, which is the name of a Half-Life chapter, my life would be ruined.”

“I thought friendship was your life?” Psyche asked.

“Dude, how can I have friendship if I don’t have money to keep them happy?” I asked.

“He’s got you there, Psyche.” Crystal said.

“Anyways, I’m glad you’re all here to help me. This place needs to get in tip-top shape for the royal couple, so everypony get in positions. It’s nelly time!” I said mischievously.

“If it’s goin’ to be nelly time, then ah’ll need mah nelly helmet.” Engie said as he took off his hard-hat, and placed another one on his head that looked exactly like his other one.

“That helmet looks just like the one ya just took off.” Aqua pointed out.

“No it isn’t. This helmet is just a centimeter taller. Make every last distance of measurement count, partner” Engie said as he poked Aqua’s chestplate.

“Alright, Engie, you make sure you get that equipment up on stage up and running. What’s a royal couple dinner without royal couple music?” I asked.

“Which is death metal, right?” Crystal asked.

“No, that’s for a health inspector, Crystal.” I corrected her.

“Yeah, royal couples prefer fancy classical music.” Blaze said.

“That’s only if they’re from Canterlot, Blaze.” Crystal corrected him.

“They ARE from Canterlot.” Blaze corrected her.

“Oh.” Crystal said.

“Crystal, Blaze, I need you two to scrape the gum from under the tables.” I instructed them as I gave them a little chisel.

“How much gum is under these tables, man?” Blaze asked.

“Hmm… good point. You’ll need something bigger.” I said as I gave them big spade.

“And how long has the gum been under these tables?” Blaze asked.

“Good point.” I said as I gave them a jackhammer. “Now get to work you two.”

“Got anything for me, mate?” Aqua asked.

“Aqua, you’re great with water right?” I asked.

“Yes.” Aqua nodded.

“Good. You could help Lyra out in counting the stuff in the storage room.” I instructed him.

“What does that have to do with water?” Aqua asked.

“Counting can be very thirsty work, brah.” I said. “Now all that leaves is you, Psyche. You're good with numbers right?"

"It's what made me an astronomer in the first place." Psyche said pleasingly.

"Can you wash the windows please?” I asked.

“Actually, Flare, I’m better at counting than Aqua is, and he’s better at cleaning stuff. Why don’t we switch places?” Psyche suggested.

“LAWL lawl lawl lawl lawl!” I laughed. “Very funny, Psyche. What are you going to suggest next? Reenact history events? Dip fries in KETCHUP? HA! You crack me up, brah! Now c’mon, get to work!”

“What are you going to do?” Psyche asked.

“I’m going to decorate this place up a bit, just as soon as I check on Golden Harvest and Berry Punch with the welcoming banner.” I said. Once I got outside, I was meeting with Golden Harvest and Berry Punch outside who were making the banner for me. I looked at the banner and it reads, “Welcome Shining Armor and Princess Cadan”.

“What happened to the rest of Cadance’s name?” I asked.

“We couldn’t fit it all in.” Golden Harvest said.

“We can’t have a banner that says ‘welcome Shining Armor and Princess Cadan’! Twilight?!” I yelled.

“Yes, Flare?” Twilight asked as she excitedly ran over to me. “Is my brother and Cadance here yet?”

“Not yet, but I thought you told me these two were the best banner makers in Ponyville?” I asked.

“No… I said I wouldn’t pick these two because they’re NOT the best banner makers in Ponyville. No offense, you two.” Twilight said to them.

“None taken.” A mule said.

“Not you!” Twilight complained. After nearly 100 minutes went by, everypony was finished in getting the shop ready, and I gotta say, the shop looks beautiful!

“What do you think, Flare?” Blaze asked.

“It’s beautiful!” I said.

“I’m glad you like it!” Blaze said.

“I’m really proud of my cousin for that new baby she got.” I said as I was looking at my phone. “She looks so beautiful!” Blaze sighed. The front door to my shop opens and Spike came inside.

“Server Spike, reporting for duty!” Spike said as he saluted to me.

“Oopsy!” Derpy yelled from the bathroom.

“Hurry it up in cleaning my bathroom, Derpy! The royal couple will be here any minute!” I yelled.

“I’m trying, but the toilet plungers are gone and the toilets are overflowing!” Derpy yelled.

“UGH! GROANS!” I yelled. “I really hope the royal couple doesn’t have to use the bathroom any time they’re here. So you know what to do, Spike?”

“Absolutely! I serve the royal couple to their table and give them the menus. No biggie.” Spike said.

“You’ll do fine, brah!” I said.

“Hey Flare, I was always wondering about that apron you’re wearing.” Spike pointed to it.

“Yeah, Shoop Da Cook. What about it?” I asked.

“I don’t really get it.” Spike said.

“Well, you know how I yell ‘Shoop da whoop’ when I use my laser spell?” I asked.

“Yeah.” Spike nodded.

“Well, this apron is like that combined with ‘kiss the cook’.” I said.

“Ew! I’m not kissing no cook.” Spike complained.

“Oh that’s too bad. Rarity’s actually gonna be cooking tonight.” I said.

“SHE IS?! I guess I’m kissing a cook after all.” Spike said in a gentleman-line accent.

“Nah, I’m kidding, she’s not.” I teased.

“Oh you troll.” Spike said irritatingly.

“Now all we’re missing is the crusaders.” I said.

“What do you need the crusaders for?” Blaze asked.

“They offered to be our source of entertainment tonight.” I said.

“Cutie Mark Crusader Royal Couple Entertainers! YAY!” the crusaders yelled as they ran inside.

“Alright, you three came right on the dot!” I said. “Now, Scoots, can you lift your hoof for a second?” Scootaloo looks down and sees a big dot on the floor and she lifts her hoof, and then I removed the dot from the floor.

“We’re so glad you let us be the royal couple’s entertainment tonight, Flare!” Scootaloo said excitedly.

“Yeah, it would be amazing if we got our cutie marks in entertaining the royal couple.” Apple Bloom said.

“I wouldn’t miss you getting your tattoos for the world, even though you’re a little too young for getting them.” I said.

“I can’t wait! I’ve been taking piano classes for a couple of weeks now and I think my time has come to shine!” Sweetie Belle said.

“Are you sure, Sweetie Belle? It would be amazing if you were the singer.” Blaze said.

“Ugh!” Sweetie Belle groaned. “Why must everypony ask me to sing? I keep telling you, I get stage freights when it comes to singing in front of a crowd.”

“There’s most likely only going to be two ponies here watching.” Blaze said.

“Well… but still… I feel more comfortable on the piano.” Sweetie Belle said. “Scootaloo is doing the singing.” Scoots then gives us a big smile with a squee. Blaze and I look at eachother awkwardly.

“How about you, Apple Bloom?” Blaze asked.

“Well… ah’ve never played the saxophone before, but ah think ah’d be really good at it, counting ah’m pretty darn good at blowing bubbles. All ah gotta do is blow on the saxophone and we have music!” Apple Bloom said.

“Oh, my sister has really cool outfits to wear for this event she gave me. Lemme get my trunk.” Sweetie Belle said as she runs out of my shop to get it.

“Awesome! So Spike, is everything going as planned with Twilight and the gals?” I asked.

“Yup! They’re waiting outside to welcome the royal couple.” Spike nodded.

“Then we’re all set! I could check my Facebook statuses real quick.” I said as I took out my phone.

“That won’t be necessary, Flare. Look.” Aqua pointed as the royal carriage landed outside in front of the Mane Six and a large crowd outside.

“Whoa-we! That is some crowd!” I said in a surprised tone. Just then, I heard the Samsung S3 whistle ringtone coming from the shop.

“Sheesh! What is that sound? I hear that sound all the time and I don’t know what it is.” I complained. Outside, once the carriage opened, Shining Armor and Cadance climbed out and waved to everypony. As they were waving, a bright spotlight shines above the couple.

“Whoa! What was that about? Where did the spotlight come from?” I asked.

“I asked Rainbow to make the sky overcast just so one heavenly spotlight would shine above the royal couple, and I have to say, it looks beautiful!” Blaze explained.

“They’re not dead. I wouldn’t be surprised if they were insulted by that right now!” I yelled at him. Outside, Cadance was fixing up Shining Armor’s mane a bit, which got on his nerves.

“Honey, I’m fine.” Shining complained.

“Hold still. Let me finish.” Cadance instructed him.

“You checked my hair eight times in the carriage already.” Shining complained.

“Shining! Cadance!” Twilight yelled excitedly as she gave them a hug.

“Twilie!” Shining cried out in excitement.

Cadance and Twilight started doing their little hoof-shake of some sort, they said, “Sunshine, shineshine, ladybugs awake, clap your hooves and-“

“DO THE HARLEM SHAKE!” Crystal yelled as she appeared outside with a pair of sunglasses on and she started dancing to the Harlem Shake.

“Crystal! Get back inside!” Blaze whispered from the doorway. Crystal smiled at the royal couple and ran back into the shop.

“Well… anyways, how was the honeymoon?” Fluttershy asked.

“Oh I have to know every single detail of the fancy hotel room you stayed in!” Rarity said excitedly.

“Well, gosh… where do we begin?” Shining asked.

“Huh.” Blaze said as he looked outside from the front door.

“What’s going on, Blaze?” I asked.

“The royal couple seems to be having a conversation with the girls.” Blaze said.

“So?” I asked.

“So they’re not coming inside.” Blaze said.

“Yeah, I have that problem with my dad all the time when we’re out shopping. He really likes to start big conversations with ponies and advertise his business.” I said.

“Here, ah can try to get them inside.” Engie said as he opened the door went outside.

“Was there a vase in the room?” Rarity asked.

“Yeah, there were eight of them.” Shining said.

“Wow! That’s a lot of vases!” Rarity said impressively.

“It’s a royal suite, Rarity. What can you expect?” Shining asked as he chuckled.

“By royal suite do you mean like… there’s a telephone in the bathroom?” Pinkie asked.

“Of course, Pinkie. That’s obvious, isn’t it?” Shining asked. Pinkie Pie then faints.

“Prince Shining Armor and Princess Cadance, please let me take your jackets.” Engie offered.

“We-we’re not wearing jackets, Engineer.” Cadance corrected him.

“No threat. Please come in! We have everythin’ ready for y’all.” Engie said.

“Wow, don’t mind if we do. We can talk later, Rarity.” Shining said.

“Oh but of course. Enjoy your meal.” Rarity insisted.

“This one’s in the bag, partner!” Engie said as he held the door opened for the royal couple, but before the couple can come in, the mayor, some photographers, and some journalists get in the way.

“Prince Shining Armor and Princess Cadance. Welcome to Ponyville! We are so glad to have you here.” The mayor said.

“Thank you, mayor! I must say, this is a delightful little town you have here. I have no idea why I haven’t bothered coming here before.” Cadance said.

“Uh, mayor, now’s not the best time for this.” Engie mumbled to her.

“Oh don’t mind me, dear. It’ll only take a second.” The mayor said.

“Will you take this moment in answering a few questions?” The mayor asked.

“I’m ok if she’s ok with it.” Shining said, pointing to his wife with his head.

“Of course. Anything for the citizens of Ponyville.” Cadance said.

“Twilight, how long is this going to take?” Blaze whispered to her.

“This is the mayor talking; it’s going to take at least 15 minutes.” Twilight whispered back.

“We have to do something. Flare’s going to get ferrous if they don’t come inside soon.” Blaze whispered.

“Leave it to me.” Twilight whispered. “Uh, mayor. Is it ok if we save these questions for later? The royal couple can’t really think of the best answers on empty stomachs.”

“Oh, sure Twilight. I’ll be back in an hour. You two enjoy your stay!” the mayor said to the couple.

“Thank you, miss mayor. Very much appreciated.” Cadance said. The royal couple walked inside while being escorted by their guards, and the couple looked around the shop.

“Wow! This place looks beautiful!” Cadance said impressively.

“Yeah, almost as beautiful as that sun shining through the clouds and over us. That felt very romantic.” Shining said.

“Thank you, thank you.” Rainbow bowed to them.

“Great work, Dashie!” Blaze said.

“Yeah it’s fancy alright. Maybe you two can come down to the farm too. Granny Smith makes the best pies for dessert!” AppleJack suggested to the couple.

“That sounds lovely, AppleJack. Thank you!” Cadance said.

“Good evening! Welcome to Flare’s Pizza Parlor! Please allow me to show you to your table.” Spike said.

“Aww you look so cute in that little apron, Spike.” Cadance said.

“Oh I know, is he?” Rarity agreed.

Spike blushed. “Please follow me.” So the royal couple followed Spike to their booth and the two sat down. “Your server will be here momentarily.” Spike said as he placed the menus on the table.

“Thank you!” Shining said as he picked up the menu to take a look at it. “What are you planning on having, dear?”

“I don’t know yet, I just picked up the menu.” Cadance corrected him.

“Oh, right.” Shining chuckled and blushed in embarrassment.

“Where’s Flare?” Blaze asked himself. He flew over to the kitchen and saw me using a fire extinguisher to take out a fire on one of the stoves. “Whoa! Flare what happened?”

“I’m playing fetch with a dog. What do you think I’m doing?” I asked sarcastically.

“There was a fire in here.” Aqua said.

“How did that happen?” Blaze asked.

“I have no idea! I just turned on the stove to make some pastas and the whole thing just lit on fire!” I explained.

“Wow, first your toilets, now your stove. You’re not having a very lucky day, are you, Flare?” Lyra asked.

“No need to rub it in, sista. Looks like we’re not cooking any pastas or soups today. The only available foods now are pizzas, salads, or anything I can bake.” I said.

“Well you better think of something man.” Blaze said.

“Don’t worry, brah. I’ve faced much worse. Bonnie, go ahead and give the royal couple their drinks. I’ll make sure the brick oven is still working.” I instructed her.

“I’m on it.” Bonnie said as she walked out to the dining room to ask the couple their drink order.

“Sigh.” I said upsettingly.

“Everything alright?” Aqua asked.

“I dunno, Aqua. Everything was working earlier today, but now I’ll have to call a plumber for the lavatories, and I’ll need a stove. This is gonna cost me a fortune.” I complained.

“Hey we’re here to help in ya time of need. Doncha worry ‘bout a thing.” Aqua comforted me.

“I just hope the royal couple doesn't crave pastas or soups today.” I said.

“You know something, Flare? Every time I see someone online say Postal 2, I think of them saying Portal 2.” Lyra said looking at her phone.

“Lyra, put that away. We have a LARGE amount of work to do.” I reminded her. I walked outside my kitchen to see the royal couple in person.

“Your highnesses.” I bowed. “Did I say that right?”

“Hi, Flare! Good to see you again!” Cadance said.

“Good to be seen.” I teased.

“Pssst!” Twilight whispered to me and shook her head.

“No, it’s quite alright, Twilight.” Cadance said to her. “I must say, you have a very beautiful little shop here!”

“I’ll say!” Shining agreed.

“I agree, thank you! Except this is a big shop, not a little shop.” I corrected them.

“Oh… my mistake.” Cadance corrected herself.

“What made you two want to come my restaurant out of all others?” I asked.

“Well, after you gave me your business card at the wedding, I looked up your restaurant online and it has great ratings! Not to mention Luna keeps saying how great this place is. You two seem to have a rapport.” Cadance said.

“It was because of Luna that I’m here today.” I said. “Mind if I change the subject for a sec? When do you two think of having kids?” Shining and Cadance just shockingly looked at eachother.

“Um, not a very polite question to ask, Flare.” Twilight whispered to me. “But trust me, Shining here can’t take a simple hint.

A cutaway shows Shining have a conversation with Twilight. “Twilie, I just don’t understand. Cadance has been giving me these weird signs.” Shining said. Shining gets visions of Cadance using her magic to create a picture of toys and blocks and teddy bears, and then Cadance uses her magic to create a picture of a crib, and then right after, Cadance holds up a sign that says ‘kids’. “I dunno why, but I think she wants to be a kid again.” He said.

“No, Shining! It means she WANTS kids.” Twilight said as she smiled at her brother.

Shining smiled along and said, “Wants them to do what?” Twilight facehoofs herself. The cutaway ends.

“So, you two know my friends right?” I asked the couple. “You saw Crystal outside already.”

“Yes, I remember! You’re Engineer, you’re Aqua, you’re Psyche, and… I don’t believe I met the Wonderbolt yet.” Cadance said.

“Oh right! The wedding took place before I met Blaze! This is my friend Blaze Goldheart!” I introduced him.

“Nice to meet you, Cadance!” Blaze said.

“You’re the first Wonderbolt I’ve ever met, Blaze Goldheart.” Cadance said.

“Nice!” Blaze said happily; he then turned to Shining Armor and glared at him. “Shining.”

“Blaze.” Shining said as he glared back at him.

“What was that about?” I asked.

“Us Wonderbolts… have a history with the E-U-P.” Blaze said.

“You Wonderbolts have it soooooo easy. You know how us royal guards have to do to protect Equestria from disaster?” Shining asked rudely to Blaze. “We have much better things to do than wear tights and fly around.

“Why don’t you go cavity search some fillies, you nerd?” Blaze asked rudely.

“Good to see you, Blaze.” Shining said.

“Likewise.” Blaze said.

“I’m REALLY confused right now.” I said.

“Yeah… so am I.” Cadance said.

“I like Shining Armor, we’re cool, but when it comes to different military factions, we despise each other.” Blaze said.

“Um, Flare?” Flutters asked.

“Yeah, Flutters?” I asked.

“Wow, you’re the first pony in a while that actually responded to me when I tried to get somepony’s attention within a group of ponies. I’m touched.” Flutters said as she blushed.

“That’s nice." I said in an uncaring tone. "What is it, Flutters?”

“I think you have a guest coming in through the front door.” Flutters pointed to a blue pegasus pony who walked into my shop. He was wearing a brown coat and big glasses, he had a black smooth mane and he had a really cool mustache, and he had a magnifying glass as a cutie mark.

“Cool mustache!” Pinkie said to the pony.

“Thank you. I do get that affection a lot.” The pony said with a British accent.

“Can I help you with something, brah?” I asked.

“I find your slang to be disturbing.” The pony said.

“Well excuse me!” I yelled.

“Calm down, Flare.” Aqua said.

“Sorry… welcome to Flare’s Pizza Parlor! How may I serve you?” I asked.

“I don’t like your attitude, bud! That’s a negative for your chart.” The pony said as he wrote on a clipboard.

“What’s going on here?” Aqua asked.

“My name is Health Inspector Jones and it is time for my yearly check on the resteraunt.” The pony said as he showed us his badge.

“Health inspector? Oh snap!” I yelled as I ran back to the kitchen.

“Sooooo, health inspector, huh?” Aqua asked.

“Uhh, employees? Minor emergency here.” I said to Lyra and Bonnie.

“What’s wrong, bossman?” Bonnie asked.

“Ok, first of all, I still less than three being called that. Keep it up, Bonnie!” I said pleasingly.

“Thank you!” Bonnie said happily.

“Second, I… forgot to mention… today was also the day a health inspector comes to the shop to inspect the place.” I said.

“That’s not so bad. We just give him some food and we’ll do fine. We serve great food, right?” Lyra asked.

“Lyra, the stove is broken, and the bathroom is all clogged up! Not to mention, we’re in the middle of a fancy dinner with the royal couple!” I reminded them.

“No prob! We’ll get them fixed.” Lyra said.

“I like your enthusiasm, Lyra, but we can’t do this on our own. We need help.” I said.

Meanwhile, in the dining room, the CMCs were entertaining the royal couple and the health inspector from the stage; although, it wasn’t really that entertaining. “So the three of us will fight the fight!” Scootaloo sang. “There is nothing that we fear We'll have to figure out what we'll do next-“

“Music: terrible!” Health Inspector Jones complained.

“What?!” Sweetie Belle teared up in shock.

“HEY! You know how much guts it takes to sing in front of a whole crowd?” Scootaloo yelled at the health inspector.

“Crowd? There’s barely anypony here! You’re lucky to be singing right now instead of a whole crowd.” Health Inspector Jones said rudely to them. The CMCs all gasped in shock.

“Excuse me, sir. One of those fillies that are singing ‘badly’ is mah little sister!” AppleJack said to the health inspector angrily.

“And mine too. How dare you put down poor little Sweetie Belle!?” Rarity yelled at him.

“Why we outta-“ AppleJack yelled, about to buck the health inspector in the face.

“Go ahead, buck me. I’ll close this place on the spot!” the health inspector threatened them.

“Girls…” Twilight said to AppleJack and Rarity, trying to calm them down.

“Engie, I need you to fix my stove and bathroom, and fast!” I instructed Engie.

“Got it!” Engie whispered as he went on it. I didn’t mean he went ON anything, I was just saying he was starting to do it, in case I confused you there.

“Health Inspector Jones, I am so sorry about this. I didn’t think you’d come in such a short time.” I said.

“Well… it was a bad start so far… but it can be redeemed.” The health inspector said.

“Is there ANYTHING I can get you, sir?” I asked, even though I don’t feel comfortable with saying the word ‘sir’. I don’t like talking to ponies like they’re superior to me.

“I’m going to need one of everything on the menu. Cook your best, Mr. Gun.” The health inspector instructed me.

“Of course! Coming right up!” I said as I faked a smile at him. I walked up to the royal couple and said upsettingly, “I really did not expect this to happen. Please forgive the delay with your food.”

“It’s ok, Flare. Just take deep breathes, and calm your mind. You’ll be able to get through this. I know you will.” Cadance instructed me.

“Thanks, Cadance. I really needed that. Twilight, can you and your friends please help me out? I’m between a mountain and a steel place right now.” I said.

“Doncha mean a rock and a hard place?” AppleJack asked.

“Of course not, silly!” Pinkie said. “If Flare was saying he’s between a mountain and a steel place, you can understand that a mountain is a bigger rock and a steel place is the most hardest places of all the hard places!”

“Actually, the obsidian place is the hardest place.” I corrected her.

Pinkie giggled. “Obsidian. That should be a flavor cake!”

“Don’t worry, Flare. We’ll do all we can to help.” Twilight said.

“I really did not want to ask for your help; you did too much for me already, but I’m desperate.” I said sadly.

“Just tell us what you need us to do, Flare, and we’ll do it!” Rainbow flew up and said, but she shouldn've flown up so fast because she hit one of my four ceiling fans. "Ow!" she yelled.

“Twilight, I need your help with fixing the broken stove and the clogged toilets. Engie may be able to fix them, but we’ll need to double our pace in order to get through this. Do you have a spell that can make food get cooked faster without burning it?” I asked.

“Flare, you of all ponies should know that ya can’t rush perfection.” AppleJack said.

“I know, AJ, but… the royal couple is here AND a health inspector! I’m in a lost for ideas.” I said.

“Leave the ideas to me, Flare. I’ve been in much worse situations before.” Twilight said.

A cutaway shows Twilight in her library, grunting, sweating, and panting. “What’s wrong, Twilight?” Spike asked.

“I can’t choose, Spike! I just can’t choose!” Twilight panicked.

“What can’t you choose?” Spike asked.

“I can’t choose which book to read next! Should I read The Greatest of all Days, or should I read the Days That Are The Greatest?! I JUST CAN’T DECIDE!” Twilight yelled.

Spike just stood there with a blank expression on his face. “Seriously?” he asked.” The cutaway ends.

As I check on the health inspector, I saw him looking at the lampshade that hangs over the table he’s sitting at. He just stares at it while scratching the pencil on his mustache and then he taps the lamp with his pencil and the lamp falls right on the table and breaks. The health inspector shakes his head and writes on his clipboard. “GASP!” I whispered.

“It’s ok, Flare. We WILL get through this! Ah promise.” AppleJack said.

“If AppleJack says it, then I know it to be true.” I nodded. “With the wizards on my side, as well as my friends, I can even overpower all the princesses together.” I said.

“Wow; not even I would go that far.” Rainbow said. I rushed back into the kitchen and saw that Engie was nearly finished with the stove.

“Ah’m nearly finished with the stove.” Engie said.

“Yeah, I just said that during my narration, brah.” I corrected him. “Bonnie, get all the pizza stuff ready; Lyra, fill those pots with water. We have to give the health inspector what he wants. For Wizard of Hope’s sake, I will NOT lose this pizza parlor!”

“This must be our greatest challenge yet, huh Bonnie?” Lyra asked.

“Ready when you are.” Bonnie said.

Several minutes went by, and Engie finished fixing the stove so we started cooking. The stove didn’t work as good as it was earlier today, but it was enough to get the job done. "Hey did they ask for tomatoes on their pizza?" Lyra asked as she was about to put the fixings on one of the pizzas.

"It's the ultimate pizza, Lyra. Of course tomatoes would be on it." Bonnie said.

"What about onions?" Lyra asked.

"Yes, onions too." Bonnie said.

"What about olives?" Lyra asked

Bonnie sighed and said, "Yes, Lyra, olives too."

"How about....?" Lyra started but Bonnie interrupts.

"Lyra, they want everything on it!" she informed her. "They want everything that can go on a pizza! It’s the ultimate pizza. Hello?"

"Does that include green peppers?" Lyra asked.

While the pasta was taking a little longer than usual to get finished, Psyche came in with some news. “Flare, the health inspector is getting antsy. He keeps booing at the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and he keeps complaining about his boredom.” he explained.

“What kind of health inspector is this pony?! He’s a very strict one, that’s for sure! This dude is really starting to stress me out. We’re working as quickly as we can here.” I explained.

“I wish we could do something about him, but he keeps threatening to shut you down on the spot if we do anything to overanger him.” Psyche said.

“Sigh. Sad face.” I said. “Can’t the royal couple do something about this?”

“They tried, but it was out of the question. Princess Cadance and Shining Armor may be royalty, but they don’t rule any kingdom at this time; therefore, they have no control over his actions.” Psyche said.

“I can’t catch a break can I? Nothing goes my way anymore!” I yelled.

“You ALWAYS get your way.” Psyche reminded me.

“And let’s keep it that way. We have to distract the health inspector long enough. We’re trying to get the food done as fast as we can.” I said.

“And I know just what to do.” Crystal said.

“Crystal, don’t make me regret this.” I instructed her.

“Flare, relax. I just said I know exactly what to do.” Crystal said.

“No, you said you know JUST what to do, not EXACTLY.” I corrected her.

Crystal walked out my kitchen and walked towards the CMCs and Rarity, who were comforting Sweetie Belle because she was crying over the insults the health inspector gave her. Crystal patted her on the head and winked at her. Crystal walked up on stage and tapped on the microphone. “Hello? Hello? Is this thing on?”

“Idiotic questions…” the health inspector said as he wrote on his notepad.

“Uhh…” Crystal said nervously as she began to sweat. “Anyways, I have a special number for you tonight.”

“OOO OOO! Thirty-seven! Did I get the number?” Pinkie asked excitedly as she started jumping around the restaurant, which made the health inspector spill is drink. “Oospy! Sorry!” Pinkie said embarrassingly to Jones, giving him a big squee. Jones just growled at her and he wrote on his notepad again.

“Uhh… and a 1, and a 2, and a 1-2-3!” Crystal yelled as the instrumental of the song Shipoopi from the classical movie The Music Man started playing in the background. Crystal started moving her body back and forth as she started to sing: “Well, a stallion who’ll kiss on the very first date is usually a pervert, and the stallion who’ll kiss on the second time out, is usually converted. But for a stallion who’ll wait till the third time around – head on the clouds, hooves on the ground – he’s the colt you’ve gladly found, he’s your babooty.” Crystal starts dancing up on stage while everypony in the restaurant watched her. “Babooty, babooty, babooty…”

“The colt impossible to find.” Psyche, Blaze, Aqua, Engie, and Spike all sang.

“Babooty, babooty, babooty…” Crystal sang.

“One that won’t abuse your hind.” The Cutie Mark Crusaders sang.

Crystal started walking around the shop, either walking passed or around the stallions in the shop. “Walk him once just to raise the curtain, then you walk around twice, you don’t know for certain.” Crystal then looks at Blaze and moves around back and forth in front of him. “Once more in neighbor’s garden, you’d know what you get if you don’t get maulin’.”

Crystal hops back up stage and moves her arms up and down as the Noble 4, CMCs, Spike, Lyra, and Bonnie all sang: “Do re me fa so la si do, si la sol fa mi re do.”

Crystal dances and jumps around on stage as she sang the next verse; “Squeeze him once when he is embarrassed, if you get squeezed back that’s when it’s fairest. Once more for a charmly groom, he’ll never get sore when he’s in the bathroom.”

Crystal once again moves her arms up and down as the others sang again: “Do re me fa so la si do, si do.”

Crystal kicks her legs out as she walks through the shop in front of everypony as she sings this next verse; “Now big ol stud’s my close bud as everyone can see, empty jugs for drummin’ that were used for grape jelly.” Engie picks up Crystal with his hooves as he walks on his hind legs to walk across the shop as Crystal continued singing; “Squeeze him once when he is embarrassed, if you get squeezed back that’s when it’s fairest. Once more for a charmly groom, he’ll never get sore when he’s in the bathroom.”

In order, Blaze, Aqua, Psyche, Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, Lyra, and Bonnie were holding up signs of the words they sing in the next verse: “Do re me fa sol la si do, si do.” That last si-do, Lyra moved her sign in front of Bonnie’s and moved it away as they sang ‘do’.

“Babooty, babooty, babooty.” Crystal sang as she danced while moving her front hooves back and forth and her hind hooves were hoping one by one, along with Engie who did the same thing.

“The colt impossible to find.” Psyche, Blaze, Aqua, and Spike all sang.

“Babooty, babooty, babooty…” Crystal sang.

“One that won’t abuse your hind.” The Cutie Mark Crusaders sang as they climbed each other to form the shape of a triangle. Right after, Crystal was marching with a baton on her hooves while the royal couple’s guards were playing their trumpets around her. After that, while the instrumental continues, Crystal starts dancing around, kicking her hooves, and waving around like a propeller in front of the Noble Four, CMCs, Spike, Bonnie, and Lyra.

“Alright, I’m lost. What is this about?” Shining asked.

“This song certainly speaks the truth.” Cadance said.

“I LOVE IT!” Pinkie cried. Crystal starts kicking her hooves around along with Lyra and Bonnie doing the same thing beside her. Engie, Psyche, Aqua, the CMCs, and Spike all start twirling the table napkins around by their ends (uhh, the napkin’s ends), and they continued doing so as Crystal was spinning around at the center of their circle they formed. Right after, everypony in the song held each other’s hooves and pulled them close to each other as they were dancing on their hind hooves. Lyra and Bonnie were dancing close to each other hoof to hoof, followed by Aqua and Psyche doing the same thing to eachother, followed by Blaze and Engie, Spike and Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom and Scootaloo, and Crystal and Pinkie Pie.

“Oh, when did you join the number, Pinkie?” Crystal asked.

“Just now, right before you asked.” Pinkie said.

Right after everypony was done dancing, they all were dancing in a row and sang at the same time; “Babooty, babooty, babooty, the colt that’s impossible to find. Babooty, babooty, babooty, one that won’t abuse your hind.” Everypony all stood on their hind hooves, kicking them side to side while pounding their front hooves towards the ground while singing the last verse: “Ooooone thaaaat won’t abuse your hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiind… BABOOTY!” they all cried while they all held a sign above them that says ‘Babooty’ on it.

“BABOOTY!” Pinkie yelled as she jumped from the center of the crowd with confetti around her.

“Wow! That was… impressive!” Cadance said.

“Yeah, I… really don’t know what to say.” Shining said.

“Neither do us.” AppleJack said.

“Well I do.” Health Inspector Jones said with a grumpy tone. “It was the single most entertaining thing I saw all night.”

“Oh good! I’m glad. It was the first song I ever led.” Crystal said.

“However, regardless of my amusement, it does not affect the health inspection in any way.” Jones said.

“What?! WHY NOT?!” Crystal yelled.

“For starters… don’t spit on my face.” Jones said as he wiped his face with a napkin on the table. “Second, this is a HEALTH inspection, not an ENTERTAINMENT inspection. If this were an ENTERTAINMENT inspection, then I’d give it an A, but this is a HEALTH inspection, and so far it’s pretty poor.”

“DON’T WORRY!” I yelled as I came out of the kitchen, levitating a ton of trays of food with my magic and bringing the royal couple their’s first, and then the health inspector’s second.

“Finally.” Jones complained as he starts eating the food I gave him.

“B-T-W, you violated the Friendship Agreement.” I said to my friends.

“What did we do this time?” Psyche asked with an irriated tone.

“You had a musical number without me. You violated section 6, paragraph 4.” I said.

“Well excuse us for trying to save your restaurant!” Lyra complained.

“I said you violated the Friendship Agreement, I didn’t say you affected your employee records. No, you get a gold star for doing so.” I said.

“Do I get a gold star?” Crystal asked excitedly.

“You don’t work here.” I reminded her.

“May I have an application?” Crystal asked. I take an application out and give it to Crystal to fill out. “Sweet!” Crystal said excitedly as she sat down to fill the application.

“Soooooo where’s our food?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“OH DANG! I forgot you girls were here! You’ve been so quiet and I’ve been working so hard for the royal couple and the health inspector, I forgot to make your food!” I yelled.

“It’s alright, Flare. I don’t mind not having any food.” Flutters said.

“I DO!” Rainbow complained.

“Normally ah’m a patient gal, but when it comes to food, don’t keep me waitin’.” AppleJack said.

“I have candy bars in my pocket if anypony is interested!” Pinkie said.

“Candy before dinner? That’s absurd!” Rarity complained. “Give me one, I’m starving.”

“Wait, wait, wait… Pinkie has pockets?” Rainbow asked.

“I’ll make your food right away, girls!” I said in worry.

“No, Flare, please… you did well. You should take a break.” Flutters suggested. Pinkie, Rainbow, Rarity, and AppleJack started to whine and complain to Fluttershy over their lack of food. “Now, girls, Flare worked really hard.”

“I’ll say! Flare Gun, I must say this food you made is delicious!” Cadance said.

“I agree! This is the best pizza I’ve ever tasted. Its no wonder small corner pizza restaurants are much better than the larger food chains like Pizza Hut or Papa Johns.” Shining said. “Same goes with oriental.”

“This pizza is so delicious, it is to die for!” Cadance said. Right after Cadance says that, Health Inspector Jones starts choking on his food. “Uhh, I didn’t mean that literary.” Cadance said to the health inspector.

“What the Wizard of Feelings?” I said in confusing. AppleJack runs up to the health inspector, grabs him by the back and starts squeezing his stomach until Jones was finally able to spit out the food.

“Whoa nelly!” AppleJack said. “Are you ok, health inspector?”

“NO! THIS FOOD NEARLY KILLED ME!” Jones yelled.

“Ew! Is that a cockroach in that eggplant?” Rarity asked as she looked at the food.

“WHAT?! Impossible! All foods get a pest inspection before giving it to the customer!” I yelled.

“As it turns out, it must be the first.” Aqua said.

“You know, Aqua, that really doesn’t help me.” I complained to him.

“Sorry.” Aqua said.

“You know, Aqua, you have an Australian accent, but you act Canadian.” I pointed out. Health Inspector Jones hops out of his seat and right after he stands on the floor, and the floor collapsed right below him, leaving his torso to hang above the hole (I didn’t mean his torso falls off if that’s what you’re thinking).

Health Inspector Jone’s face turns red and steam pops out from his ears. “Ooooo! That’s the face I make when somepony breaks a Pinkie promise!” Pinkie said.

“CRIMSON FLARE GUN!” Jones yelled. “May I say this was the absolute worse dining experience I’ve ever been in! Not only is this place in bad shape, the food was terrible, and I nearly died from it!”

“You know, health inspectors don’t normally eat the food, they search it.” Psyche corrected him.

“Don’t you tell me how to do my job! This is the last straw! After this experience I’ve been through, you leave me no choice but to force you to shut down this trash heep!” Jones said.

“WHAT?!” I yelled.

“Sir, please, honestly, this wasn’t supposed to happen. Flare takes excellent care of this place.” Bonnie said.

“And us, don’t forget us.” Lyra added.

“And me.” Derpy added as she walked out of the flooded bathroom.

“Well, it sucks to be you right now. From this day forward: Flare’s Pizza Parlor will be considered out of business – FOREVER!” Jones said angrily. Right after, he calmly walked towards the door and said, “Good day.” Right before he exits the shop, he slips and falls on the floor. “AAAH!” he yelled. “WHO LEFT THIS ENVOLEOPE HERE?! If it was my choice, I’d bloody sue ya! Best pizza in Equestria MY FLANK!” he angrily walks out of the shop. I just stood there in the middle of my shop, heart-broken, cold, and lost of hope, but before I could say anything, I smelled smoke from the kitchen.

“Flare, who’s watchin’ the kitchen?” Aqua asked.

“Nothing ever goes my way anymore!” I yelled.

“I’ll handle this.” Rainbow said as she takes a fire extinguisher and flies into my kitchen to take out the fire. I started to tear up and collapse on the floor. Shining Armor and Cadance walked over to me with a whole sack of change. Cadance places her hoof on my shoulder and Shining drops the change beside me.

“Flare, no matter what that nasty health inspector says, this food was among the best I’ve ever tasted.” She said.

“I make my food with love. I just… I just can’t believe the health inspector would hate it. I mean, the only ponies who don’t like my food… have never tasted it.” I said.

“Trust me, if it was up to us, we would make sure you wouldn’t go out of business.” Shining said.

“We are so sorry… for everything.” Cadance said as she pushed the big bag of bits closer towards me.

“No, I can’t accept your money.” I declined.

“Take it… your need of it is far greater than our’s.” Cadance offered.

“Yeah, I mean… we’re rich.” Shining said. Cadance glares at Shining. “Oh, sorry.” He said.

“Take good care, Flare Gun. I’ll talk to my aunts about this… they’ll help you out, I promise.” Cadance said.

“How is insects supposed to help, Flare?” Pinkie asked.

“Thank you for the dinner. We’ll be seeing you.” Cadance said as her, Shining Armor and their guards exit my shop and back to their carriage, while at the same time, getting asked a ridiculous amount of questions by the crowd outside, including the mayor.

“Crying face.” I said as I teared up. “It’s over. My career is over. The only job I officially enjoyed… gone. Poof.”

“Poof.” Pinkie said.

“Flare, I… I would never thought this would happen.” Rarity said.

“Me neither. Ah mean, your business really helped mine when ya kept buyin’ mah apples for your pizzas.” AppleJack said. Rarity glares at her. “Oh… was that wrong of me?”

“You want me to take you home, Flare?” Fluttershy asked.

“No… I want… I want to be alone with my… former shop… right now.” I said. Everypony starts to leave my shop.

“Darn it! Unemployeed before I was able to get a gold star!” Crystal complained. After everypony walks out, Spike was the only one in the building with me, and he tries to comfort me.

“What are you going to do now?” Spike asked.

“I-D-K, man. I mean, I’m glad Princess Cadance and Shining Armor gave me this money to hold me out, but… I don’t think I can survive without my shop. Pizza is my life! I’m the… I’m the pizza pony! Keith called me that once and I… I was very pleased to hear that.” I said.

“C’mon… let’s go back to your place and watch My Name is Earl. That’ll help you feel better.” Spike offered.

“Sure, brah, but… I want to… say goodbye to my shop.” I said.

“You want to say goodbye to a building that has no emotion what-so-ever? Huh, suit yourself.” Spike shrugged as he walks out. I take a look at my shop and it’s a complete mess. I was really confused because I made sure everything was in order over the many months I had this restaurant. I might’ve not done most of the cleaning, but I always made sure everything was in tip-top shape. Sometimes I even got Rarity to inspect the place weekly. In fact, she even inspected the place today. I just don’t understand how this could happen. What have I done to deserve this? I’ve been a great friend… well… great enough. When Spike was talking about My Name is Earl before, it got me thinking of Karma, and is karma punishing me for this? I don’t remember doing anything wrong, except for the time I was a pushing a Kmart shopping cart across town with Spike in it and broke the orange stall at the market, but I didn’t think karma would hit me this bad.

Regardless, I’m done here. My greatest achievement… gone. I packed all the money I could find, some of the leftover foods from the freezer, and the decorations I installed; oh and I took one table and two chairs. I need patio furniture. After I was done with that, I disabled all the security from the shop and returned home… or so I thought I disabled all security. The security cameras were still active.

A few days later; Psyche was taking a stroll through town when he sees Twilight entering my abandoned shop. Psyche follows her inside to check on what’s going on. “Hey, Twilight.”

“Hey, Psyche.” Twilight said. “What are you doing here?”

“I was about to ask you the same question.” Psyche said.

“After the big innocent of a few nights ago, it got me thinking. What if it wasn’t Flare’s fault that everything was falling apart?” Twilight asked.

“I was thinking the same thing. Flare’s not the brightest of all ponies but he knows how to keep things running around here.” Psyche said.

“Right, so I decided to do a little bit of investigating.” Twilight said.

“Well, first off, the bathroom. Derpy says that toilet paper was just stuffed into the toilets, and all the plungers were missing.” Psyche said.

“Exactly! What we don’t know is that who did it?” Twilight asked.

“Looks like we might have a saboteur on our hooves.” Psyche said.

“Now let’s not skip to any conclusions, Psyche. We don’t know for sure. We need to do a little bit of investigating first.” Twilight said. “Will you please help me out, Psyche?”

“Well, I was actually on my way to Flare’s because he hasn’t been out of his trailer in days, but I think it’ll be in huge help if I help you out.” Psyche said. Twilight nodded and they both got to work. Meanwhile, over at my trailer, Engie, Blaze, Aqua, and Crystal were nearing my trailer, unaware that Spike and Fluttershy were outside of it.

“C’mon, Flare! Please come out! You’ve been in there for days and I’m starting to worry!” Fluttershy begged.

“Me too. I really hope you’re not beating my high score on Tetris.” Spike hoped.

“What’s goin’ on ‘ere?” Aqua asked.

“I was here to invite Flare over to play a prank on Cranky Doodle Donkey, but Flare won’t leave his trailer.” Spike said.

“And I’m getting really worried.” Fluttershy said.

“Wish I had a bit every time I heard that.” Spike said.

“Flare must be depressed because he lost his store.” Blaze said.

“UHH, YOU THINK?!” Engie yelled at him.

“Sorry.” Blaze said.

“We have to get inside. We need to talk to him.” Flutters said.

“Wait, Spike, don’t you have security clearance to Flare’s trailer?” Engie asked.

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I’m gonna use it.” Spike said.

“But dude, he needs us!” Blaze said.

“He said he wants to be left alone. Twilight taught me to know better than just to barge in other pony’s homes without permission.” Spike said.

“If Twilight tells you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?” Crystal asked.

“Probably, if it has something to do with an important spell.” Spike said.

“Spike, I really can’t take it! Please let us inside!” Fluttershy begged with tears in her eyes.

“Why are you so worried about him, Fluttershy?” Spike asked.

“JUST DO IT!” she cried.

“Ok, ok, jeez!” Spike said as he placed his claw in the hoof-print, punched in the code, scanned his eye and says the password: “Why is it called chips ahoy when they are cookies and not chips?”

“I dunno.” Crystal said.

“Password accepted.” The security system said as the door unlocked.

“Oh, what’s the password; ‘I dunno’?” Crystal asked.

“Sure, let’s go with that.” Spike said as he opens the door and walks inside. Everypony else follows. It was dark in my trailer and all the lights were off (you don’t say!), my friends were looking around in my trailer for me but they couldn’t find a soul in there, except for my fish of course.

“Wow, it’s been a while since I seen that yellow pegasus here.” Pearl said.

“Flare keeps saying positive things about her. I wouldn’t be surprised if they became a couple by the end of the month.” Rainbow said.

“Are you sure? Because I believe he would have a finer relationship with the pink one.” Dorthey said.

“Really? How about the purple one? They both know great magics.” Yoyo said.

“What? The purple Pegasus?” Darrel asked.

“No the purple unicorn.” Yoyo said.

“Oh because that purple pegasus, she looks pretty.” Darrel said.

“Oh yeah, she does.” Dorthey nodde… nevermind, fish don’t nod.

“I think that mare is a guy.” Piddles said.

“Really? I don’t see it.” Darrel said.

“A lot of Flare’s stallion friends do look a lot like mares, don’t they?” Rainbow asked.

“Flare, where are you?” Blaze called out.

“FLARE?!” Fluttershy called out.

“Ow! Want to speak any louder, Fluttershy?” Aqua complained.

“Found him! Found him! Found him!” Crystal said excitedly as she pointed to me sitting down on my bean bag chair in the lounge.

“FLARE!” Fluttershy yelled as she flew towards me to give me a hug. “Flare you had me worried- uh, Flare? What is that I feel on your face?”

“Whiskers.” I said in a very depressing tone.

“Are ya growin’ a beard?” Engie asked.

“No… there’s a cat on my face.” I said as the cat on my face screeched and ran away.

"AAAAH! CAT! Don't eat us!" Dorthey panicked from the distance.

"Relax, this tank will protect us." Rainbow corrected her.

“Flare, please get up.” Blaze asked.

“Why? What’s the use of it?” I asked.

“Because you still have a life and friends.” Blaze said.

“Sigh… but I feel so empty without my restaurant.” I said.

“Why? You survived without your restaurant before. You spent most of your life without it.” Spike said.

“But the health inspector took my vending license. I can’t cook for anypony anymore.” I said.

“That’s not true. Ya’re a wonderful cook, Flare, and don’t ya forget it.” Aqua said.

“Everything just isn’t the same without ya.” Engie said.

“Everything isn’t the same without my shop either.” I said.

“Flare, we need you!” Blaze said.

“I can’t cook you anything, sorry.” I said.

“No, we need you to get out of your house! This isn’t healthy for you!” Blaze said.

“Neither was eating pizza, but ate them daily and I’m still alive.” I said.

“Ugh! Somepony help.” Blaze asked.

“Dang it, Flare! Snap out of it!” Engie yelled as he was about to slap me.

“Without violence, Engie!” Blaze added as he grabbed Engie’s hoof and stopped it from slapping me.

“If only we had Psyche here.” Crystal said as she shook her head.

Meanwhile, at my abandoned shop, the two purple ponies were still looking at evidence on how my shop has been sabotaged. Twilight was in the kitchen, observing the cracked stove, while Psyche was observing the lamp that fell from the ceiling on the health inspector’s table. “Hmm…” Twilight mumbled to herself. “That shouldn’t be here. Psyche, I found something!”

“I did too!” Psyche yelled as he walked over to the kitchen. “What did you find, Twilight?”

“Was there always a brick here?” Twilight asked.

“Well, actually, I thought it was some sort of random interior decoration Flare installed in here. You know how Flare is.” Psyche said.

“Well I wouldn’t think he’d be as random as to leave a brick in the middle of the floor.” Twilight said.

“What do you mean? How do you think it got there?” Psyche asked. Twilight points up to the ceiling and finds an untied rope. “Of course! Somepony tied a brick up on that rope and somepony was hiding in the ceiling to untie it so it can fall on the stove.”

“Causing it to break.” Twilight added.

“And you interrupted me.” Psyche added.

Twilight chuckles. “Sorry. I can’t help that sometimes.”

“No worries.” Psyche said.

“Now what did you find?” Twilight asked.

“Oh the broken lamp? Well, I observed the debris of the broken glass and there seemed to be some screws missing.” Psyche said.

“So… you’re saying somepony removed most of the screws that kept the lamp in place which caused the lamp to fall and shatter?” Twilight asked.

“I was actually going to say something dirty, but let’s go with your idea.” Psyche teased.

“C’mon, Psyche, let’s be serious. We’re trying to save Flare’s shop.” Twilight reminded him.

“Right, right, sorry.” Psyche chuckled.

“So I see what the problem is here. Only one screw was here on the light, so somepony removed the other three, but that wouldn’ve been enough would it?” Twilight asked.

“No… I believe the last screw had to be loose in order for the lamp to fall randomly like that.” Psyche said.

“Ok so we solved the stove problem, the toilet problem, and the lamp problem so far. How about that hole?” Twilight asked as she pointed to the hole the health inspector fell in.

“Doesn’t look very deep. How about going down to take a look?” Psyche asked.

“Alright. After you.” Twilight said.

“Uhh, no. You first.” Psyche insisted.

“No, I insist that you go first.” Twilight said.

“Ladies first, right?” Psyche asked.

“Actually, it changed. It’s now stallions first to check if everything is ok.” Twilight said.

A cutaway shows Caramel and Sassaflash about to walk inside Sugarcube Corner. Caramel opens the door for his marefriend and says, “After you, Sassy!”

“Oh thank you!” Sassaflash said as she walked inside, but once she gets inside she gets covered in frosting. She glares at Caramel and says, “I find the term ‘ladies first’ to be an insult now.”

“WOOPIE! Look at you Sassy! You look like Flufflepuff!” Pinkie said as she started grabbing frosting off Sassa and Pinkie started to lick her own hoof.

“Ew! Caramel help!” Sassaflash begged.

“Ok.” Caramel said as he too takes frosting off of Sassaflash and started sucking the frosting off his hoof. “Mmm! Strawberries!” Sassaflash sighs. The cutaway ends.

“I see your point. Alright, I’ll go first.” Psyche said as he climbs inside the hole on the ground to check what’s down there. “Wow, it sure is dark in here.”

“See anything?” Twilight asked.

“No, it’s dark in here.” Psyche repeated himself.

“Need any light?” Twilight asked.

“No, I need a grilled cheese sandwich.” Psyche said sarcastically. Twilight rolls her eyes and climbs down into the hole after Psyche, she lights up her horn and she crouches down so there would be enough room for her to crawl on her chest. “Yeah, it’s pretty tight down here, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, and dusty.” Twilight added. “Wait… I think I can see the problem here.”

“What?” Psyche asked.

“See? Look on that side. There’s six beams holding the building in place, but look on this side. There’s only five.” Twilight pointed out.

“What happened to the sixth one, or the second one, or the first one, or the fourth one, whatever?” Psyche asked.

“I think… I think we’re laying on it.” Twilight said.

“What are you saying?” Psyche asked.

“We’re laying on where the missing beam is, which is why the floor got a little unstable and collapsed under the health inspector.” Twilight said.

“Well… I guess we have the mystery almost solved.” Psyche said.

“Yeah, but what still puzzles me is, who left the letter the floor?” Twilight asked.

“Flare through it down there because he was too lazy to throw it away.” Psyche said.

“Psyche you can’t throw away a royal letter.” Twilight corrected him.

Back at my trailer, everypony was still trying to get me off my flank so I can go outside. “DARN IT, FLARE! Get up! Stop laying around already, man!” Blaze yelled.

“What’s the point? I can’t cook anymore.” I said upsettingly.

“Of course you can cook, man!” Blaze said.

“You just, you know, can’t sell it.” Crystal added.

“Crystal!” Blaze yelled at her.

“WHAT?!” Crystal yelled.

“No, its fine Blaze. It’s true. Since we have mostly mares in this town, half of the food I’ve been selling to them they don’t eat; they just post photos of the food on Instagram, saying how much this food is ‘so yesterday’.” I said in a teenage filly accent.

“Well, how about we all go out on the town and do the same thing to other pony’s foods?” Engie suggested.

“How is that supposed to help me? Doing something I don’t like?” I asked.

“Uhh…. Revenge?” Engie asked.

“How the Wizard of Hope is that revenge? It’s other pony’s foods I’d be making fun of, not the fillies themselves.” I corrected him.

“How about teasing their clothing? That really ticks teenage fillies off.” Spike suggested.

“I’d rather stay here in sorrow if you don’t mind.” I said.

“And what are you going to do the whole time you’re here?” Blaze asked.

“Go through my list of things I’d never be able to get over from the 90s.” I started. “Number 1: When my gel pens ran out of ink.”
“Number 2: When Mufasa dies in Lion King.”
“Number 3: When the NSYNC stopped making music.”
“Number 4: The entire second VHS tape of Titanic.”
“Number 5: When somepony else takes the AOL instant message screen name I wanted.”
“Number 6: Regretting that I ever asked for a Furby. It’s like a Goosebumps novel when the toy wakes you up in the middle of the night for attention and just wouldn’t shut up!”
“Number 7: Missing Will Smith all the time.”
“Number 8: How the movie Avatar ripped off Fern Gully.”
“Number 9: The fact that my Beanie Baby collection was totally useless.”
“Number 10: The fact that I couldn’t find the actual recipe for Ed’s Good Burger sauce.”
“Number 11: When my Cassette Tape ran out while recording the radio.”
“Number 12: The dream of being slimmed on Slime Time Live never came true.”
“Number 13: When your friend slammed your favorite Pog.”
“Number 14: When you tried to call your crush and her dad answered the phone.”
“Number 15: Permanent ear damage from calling friends while they were using the Interwebs.”
“Number 16: The fact that my sister’s belly button ring was inspired by her troll collection.”
“Number 17: When Tai went on an ego trip and was suddenly too good for Cher.”
“Number 18: When Patty tricked Doug Funnie into eating liver and onions.”
“Number 19: Not being able to aggressively hang up on anyone anymore because of the little plastic thing that holds the phones in place.”
“Number 20: The fact that Pikachu can’t be my lifelong companion.”
“Number 21: The fact that on Rugrats, Chuckie’s mom is dead.”
“And finally, number 22: When George Feeney left Boy Meets World.”

“Wow, ya… ya sure made a big list there.” Aqua said.

“Only a 90s foal would understand.” I said.

“You were born in the 80s though, I thought?” Spike asked.

“That doesn’t mean I wasn’t a 90s pony.” I said.

“We’re gettin’ a bit off topic here.” Aqua said.

“Flare please come out of here! You’re really making me sad because you’re sad.” Fluttershy said.

“Well, sorry that my sad face is making you sad face, but I cannot help being sad face all the time now. Sad face.” I said.

“Please come out, Flare.” Flutters begged.

“Yeah, Flare! Snap out of it!” Spike said as he climbed in front of me, blocking my view of the TV.

“Spike, move! I’m trying to fight this dragon! Nothing personal, brah.” I complained.

"Get up on your feet, and dance to the beat, because it's time to get your shop nice and neat!" Crystal said.

"Why?" I asked.

"Well, I think it’ll be nice if we asked the health inspector to give ya one more chance.” Aqua said.

I paused my game. "Look, it isn’t easy. I haven't worked in days, and because the health inspector is saying my shop was so bad, I don’t think he’ll give me another chance! Not to mention, this whole situation made me lose confidence in myself, so because of my lack of confidence, I give up, capieche? So please, leave me to this game!” I demanded. Everypony sighed.

Meanwhile, back at my shop. Psyche was looking through my security monitors in my office. “Hmm… interesting.” He said.

“What’s up?” Twilight asked.

“It’s interesting that Flare has an action figure of Spock's body with Mr. T's head on it in his desk drawer.” Psyche said as he chuckled and takes out the action figure from my drawer. "I pity the fool who's illogical!" Psyche said in Mr. T's voice. Twilight just gives Psyche a 'really' look. Psyche takes the hint and tells her seriously, “Also, I found something in the security footage. Luckily, Flare has security cameras all around his shop. I think this will help us find out who sabotaged Flare’s shop.”

“Play it.” Twilight instructed him.

“Ok here’s the security footage of the back door. This was before preparations of decorating Flare’s shop, before Blaze, Crystal, Aqua, Engie, and I came. Look… two hooded ponies are breaking in the back door. It looks like one of them is a pegasus.” Psyche pointed out.

“Two hooded ponies, huh? Who are they though?” Twilight asked.

“I don’t know.” Psyche said. As the two hooded ponies were causing the disasters without anypony looking, one of the hooded ponies had a sparkle inside his or her hood as that pony was hanging the brick on top of the stove in the kitchen.

“Unicorn magic! One of the ponies is a unicorn!” Twilight pointed out.

“I see. Oh wait, look!” Psyche pointed out Lyra coming into the kitchen and spotting the hooded unicorn.

“Oh, sorry sir, we’re closed for now. We’re getting prepared for the royal couple’s arrival. You’ll have to come back tomorrow.” Lyra said.

“How… unfortunate.” The unicorn said as he snorted like a pig and was prepared to walk out, but as he was walking out the front door, another footage showed him using his magic to remove the screws from the light post that fell on the table later that same night, and he also used his magic to take out the support beam underneath the floor, and then he walked out. Eventually, the other pony walked as well.

“Well… I guess that explains that there were two of them that sabotaged the restaurant, but we still don’t know who they are.” Psyche said.

“Wait a minute…” Twilight said as he zoomed the security footage on one of their cutie marks. “That’s a magnifying glass cutie mark!”

“Yeah, so?” Psyche asked.

“Didn’t Health Inspector Jones have a cutie mark JUST LIKE THAT?!” Twilight asked.

“How should I know? I don’t look at other stallion’s flanks.” Psyche said.

“So this could mean that Health Inspector Jones was responsible for this!” Twilight explained.

“What should we do then?” Psyche asked.

“This looks like the job for a princess.” Twilight said mischievously. “Psyche, you go find Health Inspector Jones and question him. I’m going to call a princess.”

“I don’t think looking for the health inspector would be necessary, Twilight.” Psyche said.

“Why’s that?” Twilight asked. Psyche pointed outside and saw Health Inspector Jones picking on his really cool mustache, and there was a wrecking ball next to him. “OH MY GOSH!” Twilight yelled.

Back at my trailer, my friends were still trying to get me to snap out of my depression. “Flare, if you don’t leave this trailer right now, I’m going to give you… the stare!” Flutters threatened me.

“The what now?” I asked as I put a blind fold over my eyes.

“Well there goes two of my best means of order: the stare and cute puppy dog eyes.” Flutters said. “What are we going to do, Blaze? I can’t stand seeing him like this! I’m so worried!”

“I am too, Flutters, but don’t worry, we’ll get him outta here in no time. I got a plan.” Blaze whispered. “So we’re going to go find a dog and-“

“I have an anti-dog security system. Don’t even think about it, Blaze.” I said.

“How did you hear me?” Blaze asked.

“Don’t mess with my Vulcan hearing, brah.” I said and then chuckled that sounded like three dog pants. Just then, Engie’s cell phone starts to ring.

“Howdy?” Engie said as he answered his phone. “Hey, Psyche! Yeah. Yeah, ah’m with Flare. Yeah, his cell phone is turned off. Yep, he hasn’t been paying his phone bills. It was nice of ya to call me before anypony else! Uh huh. Wait… what? No way! He can’t do that!”

“What’s happenin’?” Aqua asked.

“Ah’ll tell ‘em right away! Much obliged! Bye!” Engie said as he hung up. “Hey, Flare, ah’m not sure if ya care, but Psyche says they’re plannin’ on demolishin’ your shop.”

“Wait… WHAT?!” I yelled.

“HA! Ah knew ya cared!” Engie yelled.

“I don’t care, I’m just surprised.” I said while I’m still wearing that blind fold.

“Ok Flare I had it! Get off of your lazy flank and get to your shop before they take it down, RIGHT NOW!” Blaze ordered me.

“You can’t tell me what to do!” I yelled.

“Ooooooooh SO HELP ME, FLARE!” Blaze yelled.

“What do you need help with?” I asked with a calm tone.

“UUUUGGGGHHHH!” Blaze groaned.

“Flare, ya can’t let Jones do this!” Aqua begged.

"I know, but the health inspector said it was a grease trap." I said.

"No he didn't." Aqua corrected me.

"Well it sounded like he said it with that attitude." I said.

“Alright, that’s it. Let’s go.” Engie said as he grabbed me and attempted to carry me out, but I was hanging onto my controller and wouldn't let go.

"NOOOO!" I whined. "NOOOOOOOOO!"

"We're going to yer shop, and that is that!" Engie yelled as he continued to pull me away from my controller but I wouldn't let go.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I whined.

"You're unbelievable!" Engie said angrily. “Crystal, are ya gonna help?”

“No way! I’m having too much fun!” Crystal chuckled as she continued watching.

Spike started to chuckle mischievously and said, "I know of a way that'll get him to move." Just then, Spike started to tickle me.

"LAWL LAWL LAWL! Stop tickling me dum dum! Please stop tickling me, please!" I cried out in laughter. Spike continued to tickle me until I finally let go of my controller and Engie started to carry me out of my trailer. "Holy Wizard of Feelings, I hate you guys! No not really, but PUT ME DOWN!" I demanded.

Everypony walked over to my shop and saw Psyche trying to reason with the demolition ponies. “I assure you that you’re going to be sorry, Health Inspector Jones! This restaurant is the best of the best! Admit that you and somepony else sabotaged this place!”

“I will admit no such thing!” Jones said. “Well, this place WAS the best of the best, but now it’s just a waste of space.”

"Excuse me, but if you didn't know, this shop put smiles on many pony's faces, and I will not stand around while you take away a treasuring piece of Ponyville!” Psyche yelled.

"Move out of the way or I’ll call the cops!” Jones threatened him.

“GOOD! I’ll tell them how much of a crook you are!” Psyche yelled at him.

“Look, somepony has to make up their mind. I have to get to my daughter’s ballet recital.” The demolition pony inside the wrecking ball truck said.

"AH’LL PAY YA DOUBLE IF YA STOP THE PROCESS!” Engie yelled as he ran in front of my shop, standing on his hind hooves and leaning on my front door with his back, but after he says his line, the doors open and he falls down. “Ow!”

“Yeah, the doors were never locked.” Psyche said.

"Are you sure? I'm getting a thousand bits to destroy this building." The demolition pony said.

"AH'LL PAY YA THREE THOUSAND!" Engie yelled.
.
"Three thousand? That's almost your entire savings, Engie. You don’t have to do that for me.” I said while facing Aqua.

“I’m Aqua.” Aqua corrected me. I then removed my blind fold that I never took off before. “AAAH! BRIGHT LIGHT!”

"It's a sacrifice ah’m willin’ to make." Engie said. "If we just had a chance to put this place back in shape, we'll show you that this place SHOULD NOT, I say SHOULD NOT get knocked down!"

"HA! You sound, I say you sound like Foghorn Leghorn, Engie!" Crystal chuckled.

“Engie, you don’t need to do this, and MY GOODNESS! It is so bright outside!” I complained.

“Well, that’s what you get for staying inside for the past week. Trust me; I had to learn that the hard way.” Spike said.

"Ah must.” Engie said as he placed his hoof over his head dramatically. “For there are many ponies that'll become very upset if this was bound to happen.”

And so, my heart grew three sizes that day, and from that day forward, I started having heart failure, but we’ll get to that story later. I ran over to Engie and gave him a hug. "You're the best! I less than three you, Engie!"

"Likewise, partner. Likewise.” Engie said as he hugged me back, but he looked over at my friends and moved his mouth like he was saying ‘No homo’.

“Why no homo? There is one of you, isn’t there? Homo means one.” Crystal corrected him.

"What are you doing? I asked for this place to be wrecked down a half-hour ago!" Jones yelled.

"ANGRY FACE!" I yelled at the health inspector.

"Don't go 'angry face' with me, this place is a disgrace to pony kind and must be knocked down, ASAP!" Jones yelled.

"LISTEN YOU!" Blaze yelled to the Health Inspector's face. "This place is a fine dining restaurant, with a beautiful atmosphere, and delicious food! YOU ON THE OTHER HOOF ARE A DISGRACE TO HEALTH INSPECTORS EVERYWHERE!"

"I respect your opinion, sir, but the law is the law." Jones said. "I can't change my mind. What's done is done. You cannot undo what's already been done. You can't...."

"Alright we get it already.” Spike complained.

"Tear it down; I'll pay you five times the price." Jones said the demolition pony.

"WHAT?!" we all yelled.

"Sorry partner. Ah don't have enough to double that." Engie said.

"It's alright, brah. You tried your best. What's done is done he said. We can't undo it." I said.

The demolition pony started the wrecking ball, and started swinging it, but while the wrecking ball was swinging, Crystal was riding on it and she started singing, “I CAME IN LIKE A WRECKING BALL!”

“GET OFF OF THERE!” the demolition pony ordered her.

“I’ve always wanted to do that!” Crystal said excitedly.

"WAIT!" I yelled.

“What?” the health inspector asked.

"May I have a chance to.... say goodbye." I asked.

"For what? It's just a building! It doesn't have feelings!" Jones corrected me.

"Jones, let him say good-bye." The demolition pony suggested to him.

"Fine, make it quick. I have preparations to make Boorlie’s Bistro the best pizza shop in Equestria.” Jones said.

I started tearing up and I hugged my shop. "Crying face. This is it, huh?" I started sadly. "After three months of hard work and ratings that went to the roof, not literary, but you know what I mean, the time has come for you to fall. I knew you weren't gonna last forever, but I didn't know it would be this soon. Sniff, and to think, I was gonna expand you into Canterlot, but that's not gonna happen now. Now the fresh new shop which made ponies very happy face..... suddenly will go back to when before I moved into this old town."

"Hey this town isn't that old you know.” Spike corrected me. Everypony shushed him.

"And so this is the last day of Flare's Pizza Parlor standing. Nothing will ever replace you." I said. Blaze, Crystal, Engie, Psyche, Aqua, Spike, and the Demolition pony all had tears in their eyes, and then Crystal started crying real loud and her tears came out of her eyes like a waterfall.

"Good-bye." I said as I backed away from my shop and close to my friends. “Do it.” I said to the demolition pony.

"Finally! That was the worse speech I ever heard!" Jones complained.

"Your face is the worse speech I ever heard!" Crystal yelled at him an angry tone.

"That made zero sense." Jones said.

"You make zero sense an hour. OOOOOOH! Owned, fool!” Crystal yelled at him.

“Thank you, Crystal. I needed that.” I said sadly.

"Get this building down so I can go home and watch my soap." Jones instructed the demolition pony.

"I'm sorry." the Demolition pony said sadly to me. He then started the wrecking ball engines.

I hugged my friends tightly. "I can't watch!” I said as I looked away.

"Me neither." Flutters said.

"Well, I can watch." Jones commented. My friends and I all started holding each other real tight. The health inspector had an evil grin on his face, and the Demolition pony sadly swung the wrecking ball, but before the wrecking ball can hit the shop, it was stopped by alicorn magic.

"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!" Princess Luna yelled, alongside Cadance and Twilight.

"Princess Luna?!" Jones said in shock.

"Luna? What are you doing here?" I asked. "Not that I mind, but this is a sad occasion here."

"You shouldn't be sad anymore, Flare Gun." Luna said. "After all the nice stuff you did for me, even when I lost hope on having ponies like me, I owe you one."

"No, I owe YOU one. You have me welcomed in Ponyville, so.... yeah.... you don't me nothin'." I said in a mobster tone.

“THAT HEALTH INSPECTOR IS AN IMPOSTER!" Cadance yelled.

"Ridiculous!” Jones yelled. "I'm Health Inspector Jones." Jones held out a badge.

“Heh, RIDCULOUS!” Crystal yelled while waving a stick around like a wand.

"No you're not!" Luna said. "This is Health Inspector Jones." Another pony in a trench coat came out behind Princess Luna.

"That's him! That's the pony that stole my badge!" the real Jones cried. Two police ponies showed up and hoof cuffed the imposter.

"That's right, this was a set up!" the imposter said. "My real name is actually Boorlie Pomodoro."

"More like Poorlie. L-O-L!" I teased.

"Shut up!" Boorlie yelled. "You have been stealing my business for three whole months!"

"Hey, the customers wanted to come over here. I didn't steal nothin." I said. “No wait… I didn’t steal anything. Yeah, that’s better, cause if I said ‘I didn’t steal nothin’ it would mean that I did steal something.” I corrected myself.

"I work at a pizza parlor in Canterlot. It's called Boorlie's Bistro." Boorlie explained. "I sold pizzas over there for years, but then you showed up in Ponyville. Princesses Celestia and Luna say you have the best pizza in Equestria! Everypony started going to Ponyville to have your pizzas instead of mine. Your business was so good, I started losing business, so I had to think of something. I decided to disguise myself as Health Inspector Jones so I can shut you down. I'm the one who broke your oven, and messed with the toilets in your bathrooms. I also faked that choking when I ate your food. To tell the truth, it was delicious, but I didn't want that to blind my mission!"

"I apologize, brah." I said. "I didn't mean to steal your business. I just wanted to make ponies happy and sell them something really good, but I wasn't trying to steal anypony's business. I know not to sell sweet stuff, that's Sugarcube Corner's job, and for the apple stuff, that's Sweet Apple Acres! I never even heard of your pizza business. If I would've known, I would've just sold pastas."

"Yeah, well..... I'm sure it wasn't all your fault." Boorlie said. "I’m sorry.”

"I accept your apology, my friend. Smiley face." I said with a smile.

"So you gonna let me go?" Boorlie asked.

"It's not up to me. Like you said, the law is the law, you can't change that." I said with a smile.

"YOU DUMB COLT! STEAL MY BUSINESS AND USE MY OWN LINES AGAINST ME! YOU'RE A FOOL, CRIMSON!" Boorlie yelled as he was taken by the police to the police carriage. "WHEN I GET OUT, YOUR BUSINESS IS HISTORY! YOU HEAR ME?! HISTORY!"

"Yes, brah! You're right! My business is history!" I teased as everypony laughed, except for Crystal.

“I… I don’t get it.” Crystal said.

“So what am I supposed to do?” the demolition pony asked.

“Don’t ya have to go to yaur daughter’s ballet recital?” Aqua asked.

“I do, but I want somepony to come with me.” The demolition pony requested.

A cutaway shows Aqua going with the demolition pony to the ballet recital to see his daughter dance. The demolition pony’s daughter walks out, and she looks just like her dad, an orange earth pony with a brown mane and whiskers on her face, but she had a dress on. “Hi daddy!” the daughter said to her dad.

“Hey, sweetheart!” the demolition pony said. You know, both of them share the same voice.

“Are we gonna be here long?” Aqua whispered to the demolition pony.

“I also want to see Bulk Bicep’s sister. It won’t take long.” The demolition pony whispered back to Aqua.

“YEEEAAAAAH!” Bulk Biceps sister yelled, who looks exactly like Bulk Biceps but with a dress and more of a girly mane. The cutaway ends.

The next day came, Flare's Pizza Parlor was reopened, and it had a Grand Re-Opening ribbon on the sign. Everypony in town was eating over there, even Shinning Armor and Cadance gave the place another chance. I walked over to Shining and Cadnace with the ultimate pizza they’ve wanted.

"Ultimate pizza, take two, and action!" I said.

"Thank you, Flare!" Shining said. "This pizza looks delicious!"

"You know how Flare is, big bro." Twilight said with her hoof around me. "Flare's his name, and pizza's his game."

"You got that right, Twiliee." Shining said.

"Aunt Celestia was right! Best pizza in Equestria!" Cadance said.

"Flare we have number seventeen's order ready!" Lyra yelled out.

"I got it!" Derpy said as she put on her magnet gloves and carried the pizza; then when she tripped and fell, she was still holding the pizza because the tray was made of metal and she had magnet gloves on; she smiled afterwords and continued giving the customers their order. The Cutie Mark Crusaders were singing on stage again as well.

"So, Flare Gun, did you learn anything in these past few days?" Luna asked.

"Yes I did, Luna!" I said. "Not everything is what it seems. Don’t ever give up on your dreams, even if somepony tries to sabotage it or even badmouths it; also health inspectors are real jerks!”

“I’ll say!” Crystal said.

“Shouldn’t you be working?” I reminded her.

“Why? I don’t work here.” Crystal said.

“Actually, you signed an application, remember?” I asked.

“Oh… but… that was before you closed.” Crystal said.

“On the contrary, you still made an application for Flare’s Pizza Parlor.” I reminded her.

“I quit.” Crystal said.

“You can’t quit. To leave, you need a 2 week notice.” I reminded her.

“Ok, but after 2 weeks, I’m outta here!” Crystal said as she picked up a tray and started collecting plates.

“She’s gonna regret that. This is the best job ever.” Bonnie said.

“Thank you, Bonnie! Thank you! I’m glad you all like it here! Thanks Twilight and Psyche! We wouldn’ve solved this mystery without you.” I said.

“The plessure is all our’s!” Psyche said.

“We need Equestria’s finest pizza restaurant around.” Twilight said.

“I TOTALLY agree with that! My parties wouldn’t be as good without Flare’s pizzas!” Pinkie said excitedly. “But just to point out, this mystery could’ve been solved without you and Psyche. Princess Luna came with the real Health Inspector Jones!”

“But Pinkie, I was the one that called Luna.” Twilight corrected her.

“Yes, but Cadance already told my sister and I the problem, did you not?” Luna asked.

“Sorry, Twilight. I’ll have to agree with Pinkie Pie on this one.” Cadance shrugged.

“Of course she agrees with me! We’re the same color!” Pinkie said as she squeed.

"AAAAH!" Crystal screamed as she fell on the floor, dropping all the plates she collected. "IS NOPONY GONNA PICK UP THIS ENVELOPE ON THE FLOOR?!"

“But something still puzzles me." I started. "Boorlie was the first pony that sabotaged my shop, but didn't you say there was a second one? Who was he?”

Meanwhile at the Canterlot castle dungeon, Boorlie was in his cell all alone. After a few seconds, a shadow appeared right outside his cell. Boorlie was startled by the shadow. "AAH!" he cried. Then he relieved himself. "Oh, it's only you boss."

"Boorlie, it seemed that you have failed your task." The same voice as the other hooded pony from the security footage said.

"I'm sorry! It was all Princess Luna! She found out about our plan!" Boorlie said.

"I give you a simple task to shut down the pizza parlor, and now you're trapped in a dungeon?!" the voice yelled in an angry tone.

"Please let me out, boss! I promise I'll do better!" Boorlie begged.

"Umm... let me think... NO!" the voice yelled. "I was going to save your business, but your useless attempt has ended this partnership. Have fun in your new home." The boss laughed evilly and as he laughed, he snorted. We get a good glimpse on the boss’s cutie mark, which was a black circle with a red ‘S’ on it.

Author's Note

The remake of the first Royal Pizza Inspection chapter. Not much changed, the story was the same, but now it's the Noble Six who were more supportive in here instead of the Mane Six, also Psyche and Twilight worked together to get to the bottom of the mystery was added.

The Race to Victory

You know the kind of pony that does nothing but silly and ridiculous things that may seem insulting and irritating and wonders why his life sucks? Well… that was me. Every time I tried to be myself, I always had bullies that picked on me and random ponies I met in my life either ignore me or betray me – disharmony. That’s when I realized I needed to learn friendship. So I packed my things and moved to Ponyville and learned friendship from the best of the best. I’m just trying to be a better pony. My name is Flare.

Earlier that day I got a letter saying that it’s time to renew my vending license, so I went over to Twilight’s house so she can help me out. “So you need to renew your vending license, huh?” Twilight asked.

“Didn’t the narrator just say that?” I asked.

“Didn’t you just open your shop a few months ago?” Twilight asked.

“I’ve been vending for years. I had a pizza stand back at Mareami. It was going great until the bullies caught up with me and trashed it.” I said.

“I see. So what do you need me for?” Twilight asked.

“Well, to renew my vending license, I need to pass a series of tests, so-“ I explained but Twilight interrupted me with her excitement.

“TESTS?! Why didn’t you say so?!” Twilight yelled in excitement.

“So. Ok I said so.” I said. Heh, try saying that 10 times fast.

“Yeah, Spike said you’re pretty excited about tests.” I said.

“Yeah, I said she’s pretty excited about tests.” Spike said as he walked by, sweeping the floor.

“And he also said you’re really into helping ponies study.” I said.

“Yeah and I said she’s really into helping ponies study.” Spike said as he swept by again.

“So I was wondering, maybe you can help me study.” I said.

“Are you kidding?!” Twilight yelled.

“Soooo, that’s a yes but you’re making it sound like a no right now with your excitement that sounds like you’re angry?” I asked.

“You just like spoiling the moment, don’t you Flare?” Twilight teased.

“Yeah, he likes spoiling the moment, don’t you Flare?” Spike repeated.

“Spike, quit it.” Twilight instructed him.

“No, let him keep going. I’m liking it.” I said.

“Yeah, let me keep going, he’s liking it.” Spike teased. Twilight glares at him, and I glare at Twilight.

“Why are you glaring at me?” Twilight asked me.

“You glare at Spike a lot, so I’m doing the same thing to you, and see if you like it.” I said as I continued glaring at her.

“I only glare at Spike to show him what he’s saying or doing is wrong.” Twilight said.

“What if your glaring is wrong, huh Twilight?” I asked. Twilight just stood there silently. “Uhhh, Twilight?” I tried to get her attention, but just then, Twilight’s face starts sinking into a vortex in the middle of her face, and the vortex started getting larger and larger.

“Oh, you shouldn’t confuse Twilight, Flare. You just divided by 0.” Spike said. Twilight’s face vortex starts getting larger and larger until all of Twilight’s library gets sucked in, and then Ponyville, and then all of the northeast of Equestria, then all of Equestria, then the whole planet, then all of the galaxy we’re in, then the whole universe gets sucked into Twilight’s face vortex, and before I knew it, I was waking up in the middle of Twilight’s library.

“Flare? Flare, are you alright?” Twilight asked.

“Uh, what? What happened?” I asked as I was rubbing my head.

“You were glaring at me and then you fell asleep.” Twilight said.

“Sorry, Twilight. Every time I glare at somepony for more than 10 seconds, my eyes start to get too squinty and the squintier they get, I get tired and fall asleep.” I said.

“It’s ok. Sooo…” Twilight started to get really excited. “You want me to help you study for your vending licence exam?!”

“I have problems studying on my own. I can’t just read the book. I need somepony to lecture me.” I said.

“Well you came to the right place, Flare! I love helping ponies study for their exams! Exams make me feel so alive!” Twilight said.

“Sorry to disappoint you, Twilight, but you’re not the one taking it. I am.” I said.

“Regardless, I LOVE helping ponies study! Which method to you prefer? High lighting? Flashcards?” Twilight asked.

“Flashcards.” I said.

“Ooooo, my favorite! Excellent choice! I’ll get the best flashcards from my drawer!” Twilight said as she ran over to her desk and she took out a mountain-high size of flashcards.

“Uhh, I-I don’t think I’m gonna need that many cards, Twilight.” I said.

“Right, sorry. I can’t control myself sometimes when it comes to studying! IT’S JUST SO MUCH FUN!” Twilight yelled in excitement as she jumped up and down.

“Are you sure you’re Twilight, because you’re acting a lot like Pinkie Pie.” I said.

“Sorry, Flare, sorry.” Twilight said as she took a deep breath. “I’m calm, I’m calm.”

“Good, so what I need to write on these cards is-“ I said but was interrupted by Twilight’s jumping up and down again. “TWILIGHT!”

“Sorry, sorry!” Twilight said.

“Take a chill pill, Light! You’re more worked up than an Egyptian slaver.” I said.

A cutaway shows me as an Egyptian slave, mining some rocks underground. A slaver comes by real angry and yelled, “YOU’RE NOT WORKING HARD ENOUGH! FASTER! FASTER!” he started whipping.

“OW! OW! OW!” I yelled.

“You scum sicken me! THAT’S MY WIFE YOU STOLE!” the slaver yelled.

“Wait… what?” I asked.

“I mean FASTER!” the slaver yelled as he whipped me again.

“Ooooooh, so that’s what this is about?” I asked.

“SHUT UP!” the slaver yelled.

“Are you ok, brah? What’s troubling you?” I asked.

“Well… I… my wife cheated on me with a slave. I used to be a blacksmith before this, but after I saw my wife with that slave, I started to hate them all!” the slaver explained.

“Look, brah, not all slaves are bad, and you know what? I don’t think all slavers are bad either. You’re a good slaver, my friend.” I said.

“You really think so?” the slaver asked as he started to smile.

“I know so. How about you take off these chains and I can give you a hug?” I suggested. The slaver happily removed my chains and held his arms out.

“There we go! That wasn’t so hard now, was it?” I asked as I gave him a hug, but as I was hugging me, I did the Vulcan… uhh… buck on his shoulder and he passed out. “Quick, slavers! We’re free!”

“But isn’t there a bunch more guards outside?” a slave asked.

“Let me tell you boys a little thing I like to call… feels.” I said. The cutaway ends.

“Alright, Flare.” Twilight said as she gave me some flashcards and helped me write them down. “Our flashcards are finished. Want me to quiz you?”

“No, thank you, Twilight. I have all I need to pass.” I said as I took the flashcards and I was about to walk out.

“So who’s going to quiz you?” Twlight asked.

“He’s gonna cheat.” Spike said as he walked by, sweeping the floor.

“Shhhh!” I shushed him.

“But Flare, you came to me for help. Why are you cheating?” Twilight asked.

“I always cheat on my tests. How else did you think I got through the first two years of college?” I asked.

“But if you get caught, they’re going to take your vending license away!” Twilight said.

“Sista, I’ve been cheating for years. I know how to cheat without getting caught. I’ve never been caught once!” I said.

“That’s because teachers don’t care. They barely teach you, and when you test, all they do is fall asleep on their desks, listening to their iPods or iPhones, maybe text their friends dinner plans and keep texting them until they’re really irritated with all the questions.” Spike said.

“That’s not true, Spike. Flare, there are far better things to taking tests than cheating. I can help show you that even studying can be fun.” Twilight said.

“Good luck with that! I hope you do better than Pinkie showing me that watching paint dry can be fun.” I said.

A cutaway shows me watching paint dry with Pinkie. I just sat there emotionless, and Pinkie sat next to me, smiling and giggling as she watched. “I don’t get it. How is this funny?”

“Shhh! This is my favorite part!” Pinkie said.

“I got better things to do than this. Later, Pinkie.” I said as I walked away.

“Huh?” Pinkie asked as she was still focused on the paint. When I got home, I turned on the TV and turned on one of my favorite shows: the SMPTE color bars.

“Oh cool, the Rainbow Show! Nice! I hope this is the episode where red cheats on yellow! I wonder if my other favorite show is on?” I asked as I changed the channel and saw static. “YAY! Snow!” I cheered. The cutaway ends.

And so, Twilight and I started studying together. Twilight got her chalkboard ready and she stood right in front of me with me while I was sitting on a school desk in the middle of the room. “Now, Flare, are you ready?”

“I still have a question.” I said as I raised my hoof.

“Yes, Flare?” Twilight asked as she pointed at me.

“Did you steal this desk from the schoolhouse or something?” I asked.

“Wha- NO! Cheerilee let me… borrow it.” Twilight said nervously.

“Because I remember sitting on this desk that one time I was acting like a child again and I went to the school, this is the same exact desk!” I said.

“Any other questions, Flare?” Twilight asked.

“Yeah, that teacher’s desk in front of you where you’re sitting at. That looks like Cheerilee’s desk.” I pointed out.

“It’s not Cheerilee’s desk.” Twilight said.

“Are you sure? Cause I can see an apple on that desk too with a note that says, ‘Cheerilee, you’re the best teacher ever. Love, Truffle Shuffle’.” I pointed out.

“Do you have any other questions that don’t involve me ‘stealing’ anything from the schoolhouse?” Twilight asked with an attitude.

“Yeah, why are you using a chalkboard? Everypony knows dry-erase boards are the way of the future.” I suggested.

“Can we get to work now?” Twilight asked.

“Hang on. I need to observe the room for anypony suspicious.” I said as I looked around the room. Twilight started getting a little concerned about that.

“What are you doing?” Twilight asked.

After I took one more look around, I whispered to Twilight, “Every homeroom class I’m in, there’s always a pony shooting spit-balls at me. I want to make sure nopony else is in the room with a straw or loose paper.”

“Flare, I STRONGLY doubt there’ll be a pony wanting to shoot spit balls at you.” Twilight said in an aggravated tone.

“Shhhhh!” I shushed her, and then I whispered, “Don’t let them know I’m onto them.”

“Is that all the questions you have?” Twilight asked.

“Yes, ma’am.” I said as I smiled at her and folded my hooves together on my desk.

“Excellent. Now, the first thing I’ll lecture you about is stock.” Twilight started. “Now, with stock… you need to-“

“OW! MY EYE!” I yelled as I covered my left eye.

“What happened?” Twilight asked.

“SOMEPONY THREW A FAUST-FORSAKEN SPIT-BALL IN MY EYE! OW!” I cried out.

“Who? There’s nopony else here.” Twilight corrected me. Spike quickly hid his straw and started to awkwardly walk away, whistling.

“Let that be a lesson to you Twilight: a spit-ball to the eye is no laughing matter.” I advised her.

“Trust me, I’ll remember that.” Twilight said as she used her magic to heal my eye.

I blinked my left eye a bit and smiled. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome, Flare.” Twilight said as she continued the lecture. She started writing on the board as she continued. “Now, with stocks. The first thing I’ll lecture you on is stock exchanges. Now, a stock exchange is a place to trade stocks. Companies may want to-“ Twilight paused after she heard my desk move.

“Sorry, Twilight. I can’t see the board that well.” I said.

“It’s ok, Flare.” Twilight said as she continued. “Now, companies may want to get their stock listed on a stock exchange. Other stocks may be traded ‘over the counter’, that is, through a dealer. A large company will usually-“ Twilight paused as I moved my desk again.

“Still can’t see well. I’m blind when it comes to far away words.” I said.

Twilight was silent for a moment, and then she continued again; “A large company will usually have its stock listed on many- Flare, why are you sitting on my desk?” Twilight asked as I was sitting right in front of her, right on her desk.

“You mean Cheerilee’s desk?” I corrected her.

Twilight sighs. “Are you sure you can see the board well enough?”

“I think so.” I nodded.

“Good.” Twilight said as she continued. “Market participants include individual retail investors and traders, institutional investors such as mutual funds, banks, insurance companies and hedge funds, and also publicly traded corporations trading in their own shares. Some studies have suggested-“ as Twilight was continuing, I slowly moved my head closer and closer to the board until my face was flat on it. Twilight stopped as she saw me with my face right on the board. “Flare… are you sure that will help your eyesight?”

“Positive! I can see it well enough now, sista.” I said.

“Maybe it’s best if we try a different sort of lecture.” Twilight said.

“Ok.” I said as I moved my head away from the chalk board, and I detached my face from it like it was sticking on it and I was trying to get myself unstuck, and as I was walking away from the board, I spotted one of the desk drawers opened and there’s an active phone inside. “Twilight, are you stealing this content from Wikipedia?!”

“NO!” Twilight yelled as she kicked the desk drawer shut. “I am not plagiarizing! That’s just silly.”

“Are you sure?” I asked. “Because the content you were just talking about in stock markets matched what the stock market page in Wikipedia sai-“ Twilight bleeped me out and started pushing me.

“UHHH, that’s enough, Flare. Let’s… go to our next portion of our studying.” Twilight insisted as the two of us went to sit down on her desk (her actual desk), and she said happily, “Alright, Flare! The time has come for me to show you my favorite type of study method!”

“Cheat?” I asked.

“No… FLASHCARDS!” Twilight said excitedly as she took out flashcards from her desk.

“And I use flashcards to cheat with.” I said.

“Well, you’re not cheating on THIS test!” Twilight said. “On this side of the card, I’m going to put a question, and on this side of the card, I’m going to write the answer. I’m going to ask you a question, and you will give me the answer.”

“How about we do it the Jeopardy way?” I suggested.

“YES! I like your style, Flare! I love Jeopardy!” Twilight said excitedly.

“Good… cause I don’t, but I do like the theme song.” I said as I started humming the Jeopardy theme song.

“Ok, Flare. I made five categories for you: supply, budgets, psychology, cleanliness, and to make things a little more interesting: fictional vending.” Twilight said.

“Alrighty then… umm… let’s see… ummmmm… sigh… ok, I’ll take fictional vending for 200.” I said.

“Ok. Just to let you know, Spike made up the fictional vending category.” Twilight said.

“Good man!” I said.

“Now, I’ll give you the answer, and you have to give me the question.” Twilight explained. “This video game character has vending machines out in the badlands and doesn’t allow refunds or he’ll kill you.”

“Who is Marcus Kincaid?” I asked.

“Very good, Flare! You score 200!” Twilight said excitedly. “Ok, now choose another category.”

“I choose fictional vending for 400.” I said.

“Fictional again? Alright, if you say so.” Twilight said as she read the flashcard. “In Bioshock, this is one type of vending machine that isn’t seen at all in the second game but is seen in the first one.”

“What is the U-Invent?” I asked.

“That’s 400 for you, Flare! Excellent job!” Twilight said. “Ok now choose another category.

“Fictional for 500!” I said.

“Mind if I make a suggestion and use a different category?” Twilight asked.

“Nope! Fictional!” I said excitedly as I used my flank to jump up and down on my seat.

Twilight sighs and said, “Ok then.” After a few minutes, I answered all the fictional vending questions and I won each of those and gained 1500 points. “Alright Flare, that was the last fictional vending question (thank Celestia), now you have to choose another one.”

“I choose fictional!” I said excitedly.

“You can’t do fictional anymore. You answered all of them.” Twlight said.

“Awwww!” I whined. “Alright fine… umm… FICTIONAL!”

“Flare, be serious.” Twilight said with an attitude.

“I don’t think I’m gonna know the other ones.” I said.

“Relax. Start off with a category at 100 points. It’s the easiest.” Twilight said.

“Ugh! SIGH!” I yelled. “Alright, fine. I choose psychology for 100.”

“Good! This one should be easy.” Twilight started as she started reading the card. “The soda machine ran out of ice and a customer is complaining about it.”

“Why would a customer complain about the soda machine? The soda machine is behind the counter. This isn’t a fast-food joint I’m running, it’s an actual restaurant.” I said.

“You should know this one though.” Twilight said.

“Ok, what is - you shouldn’t be behind the counter?” I asked.

“Sorry, Flare, but the question I was looking for is… what is refilling the soda machine with ice?” Twilight said.

“I don’t run a fast food joint, Twilight. How the Wizard of Strength was I supposed to know that question?” I asked.

“Don’t you go to food joints at all and complain that the ice machine ran out of ice?” Twilight asked.

“It’s not my job to refill them though.” I said.

Twilight gives me a funny look. “Ok, let’s try another one.”

“Supplies for 100.” I said.

“This is the amount of time you have to refill your supplies.” Twilight said.

“What is 9 AM?” I asked.

“Nope. The correct question was: what is a week?” Twilight corrected me.

“You weren’t being pacific enough.” I said as I said ‘specific’ wrong.

“Pacific?” Twilight asked.

“Spike asked the same thing once before. I can’t say it the right away.” I explained.

“Ok so you want me to be more specific then. How?” Twilight asked.

“Well… I had the feeling you wanted me to say what time do I normally get my supplies for my shop, and normally at 9 AM is when I refill my shop, every Monday of every week.” I said.

“I was asking how long does for how long you should refill your shop.” Twilight said.

“Well, you said it wrong, so it’s not my fault.” I said.

“Alright, fine, I won’t count it. What’s the next category of your choice?” Twilight asked.

“Break time for 5.” I said as I took out a garlic roll from my satchel and started eating it. Twilight sighs. After a long day of studying, I was finally ready to take my test. I was just about to leave Twilight’s house, but first, I wanted to take a moment to have a conversation with her before I leave.

“Well, Flare, it took some patience-“ Twilight started.

“And some pain to the eye.” I added.

“But you did pretty well on your studying, and I believe you’ll do well on it…. WITHOUT cheating.” Twilight said.

“Aww.” I whined.

“Don’t worry, Flare. I know you’ll be able to do it, I have complete confidence in you.” Twilight smiled at me and said.

“Well this study session has been fun, that’s for sure! Probably almost as fun as Police Appreciation Week!” I said.

A cutaway shows a police officer leaning on his carriage and eating a donut, when just then, a bunch of civilian ponies burst out into the open and started whacking the police officer with nightsticks. “OW! OW! HEY! WHAT GIVES?!” the officer yelled.

“Happy Police Appreciation Day, officer!” a pony said excitedly.

“Police Appreciation Day: the day you treat a police officer how they treat you.” Another pony said.

“Aw thank you!” the officer said happily.

“SHUT UP!” the second pony yelled as they continued to beat him up, and then one of the ponies places a gun next to the officer. “Look out! He’s got a gun!” The cutaway ends.

Just before I was about to leave, there was a knock on the door. Twilight used her magic to open it – it was Blaze and Rainbow Dash Goldheart. “Rainbow Dash!” Twilight said excitedly.

“Blaze!” I said excitedly, and then I said to Twilight, “Ok, now we switch. You say Blaze and I say Rainbow Dash.”

“I’m telling you Rainbow, we have to accept the fact that they just can’t LET you be a Wonderbolt.” Blaze said to her.

“I saved their lives once! They saw my awesome flying, and they expect me to give an initiation?! That’s just stupid!” Rainbow yelled.

“What’s wrong?” Twilight asked.

“Blaze here is a Wonderbolt, so he should let me become a Wonderbolt on the spot!” Rainbow yelled.

“I’m sorry, Rainbow, but to be a Wonderbolt, you need to pass an initiation and an entrance exam.” Blaze said.

“Why exams?! Wonderbolts don’t take tests.” Rainbow yelled.

“It’s not even a writing test though, it’s a flight test! You can’t go into the academy unless you pass the entrance score.” Blaze explained.

“Pfffft!” Rainbow raspberried at Blaze. “I don’t need an entrance exam! The Wonderbolts KNOW I’m the best! YOU know I’m the best! Twilight and Flare here know I’m the best! Go ahead Twilight and Flare; TELL HIM!”

“I really don’t like picking sides.” I said nervously.

“Well… I must agree with Rainbow that she IS indeed the best!” Twilight admitted.

“HA! See, Blaze?! Even Twilight knows it!” Rainbow yelled in Blaze’s face.

“But I agree with Blaze that you must take that entrance exam if you want to be a Wonderbolt.” Twilight added.

“HA! IN YOUR FACE, RAINBOW!” Blaze yelled at her.

“YOU’RE A FREAKSHOW!” Rainbow yelled at him. Blaze gasps.

“Excuse me, everypony… I have something to say.” I started. “Let’s just all agree that us unicorns don’t have to worry about anything Wonderbolt-related. Alright? Kay thanks bye, I’m leaving.” I said as I was about to walk out.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa! What does that supposed to mean?” Blaze asked in an insulted tone.

“Only a pegasus can be a Wonderbolt. Twilight and I on the other hoof are unicorns, soooo; I really have no idea why you’re telling us this. Trying to rub it in our faces because the pegasi get their own flying factions but us unicorns don’t have jack for a military faction in our own races?” I asked.

“Now hold on a minute, Flare, just because the pegasi have their own type of military faction doesn’t mean you can’t join the military in general. Why don’t you sign up to be a royal guard?” Blaze asked.

“I’m not saying I WANT to join the military; I’m just saying… why don’t unicorns have a faction of their own? Come to think of it… why not earth ponies either?!” I complained.

“Or dragons!” Spike complained.

“Noooo, Spike, dragons don’t have military factions, they have colonies. They’re not even part of an empire or a republic. Why isn’t Equestria a republic?” I asked.

“Well, I’m sorry, man, but it would seem that pegasi have certain talents unicorns don’t have, which what made the Wonderbolts possible in the first place.” Blaze said.

“So how about I just become a pegasus?” I asked.

“YOU a pegasus?! HA! Yeah, that’s a laugh, Flare!” Rainbow teased. “I don’t even think TWILIGHT would make a good pegasus!”

“Now hold on a minute, Rainbow, what makes you think we won’t become good pegasi?” Twilight asked with an attitude.

“Uhh, because you’re unicorns. Trust me, Twilight, I wouldn’t be a good unicorn I must admit.” Rainbow said.

“Well, I suppose you’re right, Rainbow.” Twilight agreed.

“I don’t. I could be an AWESOME pegasus!” I said.

“Are you sure about that, man? I’d learn to be a unicorn MUCH faster than you learning how to be a pegasus!” Blaze laughed and said. “I bet I can do one of your ‘shoop da whoops’ in my sleep!”

“Brah, trust me, it really isn’t easy to do a shoop da whoop. You think I can just make one when I want it? No, I need the energy for it and the emotion, which is why I yell ‘IMMA FIRIN MAH LAZOR’ before I actually fire.” I explained. “Doing spells isn’t easy at first, like it’s not easy to flirt with mares.”

A cutaway shows me walking towards Daisy as she was tending her garden. “Oh, hi Flare! How’s it going?” she asked.

I was really nervous; I wanted to ask her out, but the only thing I could think of was saying the word “Banana?”, but just then, a bunch of minions storm out of nowhere yelling “BANANA! BANANA! BANANA! BANANA! BANANA!” trampling all over me as they were searching all over me for that banana that I don’t have. The cutaway ends.

“Well, dude, flying isn’t a walk in the park at first either.” Blaze explained.

“Oh yeah? Well, if you think you’ll learn to be a proicorn much faster than me being a pegapro, why don’t we switch pony races for a day and see!” I suggested.

“Dude, you think anypony is going to know how to do that?” Blaze asked.

“Actually, Princess Celestia gave me a book of advanced spells recently, and switching pony races is one of them, but I can only doing that if two different pony races are standing next to eachother, and to avoid angry fans, Flare, you’ll no longer have your horn, and Blaze, you’ll no longer have your wings.” Twilight explained. The both of us gasped.

“Aww, but I like my horn! It’s nice and pointy! Perfect for poking other pony’s butts.” I whined as I tapped on the tip of my horn.

“And how am I supposed to get home without my wings?!” Blaze complained.

“Don’t worry, we’ll figure something out. Now the both of you hold still. I’m not sure what’s going to happen. I haven’t tested this spell yet.” Twilight said as her horn started glowing.

“Wait, shouldn’t you test it on something else before testing it on us?!” I suggested nervously.

“Too late!” Twilight said as she used her magic on us. Blaze’s wings suddenly detach from his body, as well as my horn with my body, and then my horn pops right into Blaze’s forehead and his wings attempt to get attached to my back, but it couldn’t get in because my vest was in the way, so Rainbow lowers my vest so my wings can go through. The magic fades away and now I am a pegasus and Blaze is a unicorn.

“Whoa! Awesome!” Rainbow said excitedly.

“The deed is done! You both switched pony races and now Flare is a pegasus and Blaze is a unicorn.” Twilight said.

“Wow, nice job stating the obvious, Twilight.” I said sarcastically to her.

“Alright so how are we going to work this out, brah? We going to make a bet or something?” Blaze asked.

“Do we have to? Gambling is wrong.” I said.

“So if we’re not going to make a bet, why else did we switch races?” Blaze asked.

“Because you want to prove to me you’re going to be a better unicorn than I am a Pegasus.” I explained.

“Yeah and I was going to make a bet about it.” Blaze added.

“Oh.” I said.

“What? You don’t want to? We don’t have to.” Blaze asked.

“No, no, I don’t want to spoil this for you. We’ll make a bet.” I said. “I’m opened to anything; except for crimes, I’m not doing crimes, or eat peanut butter, or preform stupid stunts on a carriage like some stupid teenager, or-“

“Alright, I get your point dude.” Blaze said. “Ok so, we’ll make this fair. We’ll try to become at least decent with our new abilities. By the end of the day tomorrow, we’ll test out our skills in a duel.”

“So what are the rules?” I asked.

“No cheating.” Blaze said.

“Crud! This just isn’t my day, is it?!” I complained.

“Yeah so, no steroids, or potions, or machinery, or spells to make you better your new ability. Although, you can ask for advice.” Blaze explained.

“Awesome! I can’t wait to teach Flare everything he needs to know about being an awesome flyer!” Rainbow Dash said as she placed her hoof around me excitedly.

“And I can teach Blaze a bunch of basic spells to help him out.” Twilight offered.

“So it’s settled then! So what happens if we win or lose?” I asked and then I said to myself, “Oh please if I lose, don’t make me read Rainbow Factory again!”

“WHAT?!” Rainbow yelled.

“No, no! Flare, I’ll NEVER ask you to read that story! In fact, I’d forbid it!” Blaze said shockingly.

“I don’t know which story is worse… Rainbow Factory or Cupcakes.” Rainbow said in a weak tone as she limped around on the floor.

“I really don’t like the fandom sometimes.” I said to Blaze.

“Me neither.” Blaze said.

“I try to stay away from Deviantart as much as I can so I wouldn’t see any of those ridiculous fanarts of my friends and I. Ugh! I really don’t want to talk about it!” Twilight explained in a disgusted tone.

“So Blaze, what happens if either of us wins?” I asked.

“The winner gets to have a delicious feast made by the greatest chefs in Ponyville, free of charge!” Blaze said.

“So I guess that means I’m cooking then.” I said excitedly.

“Nope, sorry man, because the loser will have to wear this maid outfit and serve the winner throughout the whole feast!” Blaze explained as he grabbed a maid’s outfit out of his… I dunno, pocket, and showed it to me.

“And do you happen to carry that maid outfit with you wherever you go?” I asked mischievously.

“Wha-NO!” Blaze blushed as he threw the maid outfit aside. “It’s… it’s actually Rainbow’s.”

“No it’s not, you liar!” Rainbow defended herself.

“So we have a deal man?” Blaze asked as he took out his hoof, wanting me to bump it.

I spat on my hoof and gave him a bro-hoof. “Deal!”

“Eww! Why did you do that?” Blaze asked.

“I see AppleJack and Rainbow do it all the time when they bet on something.” I explained. “I know, it’s gross, and I’m starting to think it was a bad idea.”

“Hey it was either that or cut our hooves and make a deal like blood sisters.” Rainbow said.

“Or you can just… you know… hoof each other without… sharing DNA?” I suggested.

“Oh Flare, Flare, Flare.” Rainbow shook her head. “You still have much to learn about friendship.”

“In this case… so do I.” Twilight said.

I’m going to let Blaze narrate the next part:

And so, it was time for Flare and I to start our bet to see who’s better at our opposite pony races. I must admit, I’m a little nervous, but I do have confidence in myself. You know the kind of pony who’s also half-dragon and is called a freakshow from everypony at school and wants to kill them with his beasty hooves? Well that’s me. I mean it, for those who call me a freak, I get so angry and I want to just… gnaw my teeth onto their necks and watch them suffer after calling me a freak! OH YEAH! THEY’RE GOING TO FEEL MY WRATH! Oh… umm… sorry about that. Please don’t call the cops now. Oh, and I’m also a Wonderbolt and married to Rainbow Dash. My name is Blaze.

Ok I’m back to narrating again.

And so I was exiting Twilight’s house with Rainbow Dash so she can train me to fly. As I was walking out, my new wings were dragging on the ground. “Ok, Flare, I’m going to teach you everything you need to know about being a Pegasus!” Rainbow said excitedly.

“I already knew that. Tell me what I don’t know.” I instructed her.

“Alright.” Rainbow said as she flew in the air. “The best thing about being a Pegasus is being able so soar in the air and feel the wind in your face!” she explained as she was zooming from side to side really fast. “You have to feel your inner dare-devil release! You have to KNOW you’re able to fly really well in order to be able to fly really well.”

“Sounds simple enough. It’s just like magic!” I nodded.

“Yeah, only better!” Rainbow said.

“You were never a unicorn, so you have NO idea which one is better.” I corrected her.

“Ok, first thing’s first: how about you stop dragging your new wings on the ground and start flapping them?” Rainbow instructed me. “You see, the key is to knowing how to control your wings. That’s pretty much the only way you can fly.”

“Uh huh, and which door does that key unlock?” I asked.

“The door to feeling alive, Flare.” Rainbow said as she placed her hoof around me and tapped on my stomach with her other hoof. “The door to feeling alive!”

“I already feel alive.” I corrected her. “I’m not dead, am I?”

“Ok, let’s just skip the metaphors and get to the flapping! Come on, Flare, flap those things!” Rainbow instructed me.

“Kay kay.” I said as I just stood there with my wings still being dragged on the ground for several seconds.

“Flare, are you going to move your wings or what?” Rainbow asked.

“Oh yeah, I was meaning to ask… how do I move them?” I asked.

“Like how you move your hooves or maybe how you control your magic.” Rainbow advised.

“Don’t put magic into this, sista! You have NO idea how to use magic! Allow me to demonstrate.” I started.

“How are you going to demonstrate if you don’t have a horn?” Rainbow asked.

“Huh?” I asked curiously as I felt my forehead for my horn but it wasn’t there. “Oh that’s right, Blaze has my horn now. But wait, if these are Blaze’s wings, shouldn’t they be the best already?”

“Oh Flare, Flare, Flare.” Rainbow said as she shook her head. “Having the wings doesn’t make you good; it’s the will and courage of being able to fly. You have to feel it within you!”

“So you want me to eat my wings?” I asked.

“Wha- NO!” Rainbow sighed as she landed right next to me. “Look, flying is not hard. It’s like riding a bike!”

“I haven’t learned how to ride my bike until I was 18.” I corrected her.

“Regardless, even a newborn foal can move their wings! All you have to do is just move them. See?” Rainbow demonstrated by flapping her wings around. “It’s not hard at all!”

“Well it is to me!” I said.

“Here, let me help you.” Rainbow offered as she picked up my wings and started flapping them around for me. “See? It’s not so hard!”

“It’s only not hard because you’re moving them.” I corrected her.

Rainbow sighs and said, “This is really not going to end well, like when Derpy volunteered to assist Trixie in her act.”

A cutaway shows The Great and Powerful Trixie preforming a show in front of a live audience along with Derpy sitting on a chair in front of her. “Witness all and watch the Great and Powerful Trixie at work! Without unicorn magic, I will put this pony right to sleep!”

“Ooooo!” the audience said in excitement.

Trixie faces Derpy and says, “Look into my eyes, little pony… or…. Kinda look into my eyes, and pay close attention to my voice.” Derpy’s eyes start to turn into little vortexes and she became cursed under Trixie’s control. “You are getting very sleepy, little pony, very… very… very… sleepy.” Derpy’s eyes shut and Derpy falls right to sleep on the spot. “And now… once I clop my right hoof on the stage, this pony will awake and imagine everypony on fire!” Trixie said. She clops her right hoof on the floor and Derpy’s eyes awake; she then stands up from the chair, looks at the audience, and she starts laughing like a maniac. The entire audience was concerned over why she was laughing evilly. “Uhhh… da ta?” Trixie said confusingly. The cutaway ends.

Meanwhile, inside the library, Twilight was assisting Blaze on how to use his newly formed unicorn powers. “Alright, Mr. Goldheart.”

“Please… Mr. Goldheart is my father. Call me Mr. Second Lieutenant Blaze Goldheart the Great and Powerful of the Wonderbolts… esquire!” Blaze insisted.

“How about just Blaze?” Twilight asked.

“That works too!” Blaze said excitedly.

“Ok! So, time to learn what means to be a unicorn!” Twilight said excitedly.

“I can’t wait!” Blaze said excitedly.

“Now, Blaze, to learn the basics of unicorn magic, you must fire empty your mind of anything negative from your past. Only positive and friendship will help you control your powers. If you concentrate your thoughts on hate or anything negative, your magic may become chaotic.” Twilight explained.

“You mean like Discord?” Blaze asked.

“Not that kind of chaotic. I mean you can cause severe damage that way. It all depends if you know how to use the magic. To learn the magic, you must control it.” Twilight explained.

“Controlling powers isn’t easy, Twilight. Trust me on that.” Blaze said.

“What do you mean?” Twilight asked.

“Uhh… I’d rather not say at this time.” Blaze said.

“Ok. So, how about we learn a basic spell? Levitation.” Twilight suggested.

“Wingardium leviosa?” Blaze asked.

“Yes, wingardium leviosa.” Twilight repeated.

“Hang on; I don’t have to say the words do I? Because I don’t want Miss Know-It-Alls to be correcting me. No offense, Twilight.” Blaze said.

“None take- HEY!” Twilight yelled.

“Sorry. So how do we levitate?” Blaze asked.

“Well, levitation magic works like hooves. If something is too heavy for you, then you won’t be able to pick up.” Twilight said.

“No problem, Twilight! I am pretty strong!” Blaze said as he flexed for Twilight and he kisses his muscles. Twilight gives him a funny look.

“Umm… actually… levitation has its own strength. Not the strength of your hooves, but the strength of your heart. The magic flows around there.” Twilight explained.

“So the strength of my magic is the strength of my emotions and personality?” Blaze asked.

“Exactly, Blaze! Exactly! You have a wonderful personality, Blaze. You remind me a lot of your wife in a way in that sense.” Twilight said.

“Thanks! I’m not sure if that’s supposed to be a compliment or not, but thanks!” Blaze said.

“No problem! Now, let’s start light. Try to levitate this feather on the floor.” Twilight instructed him.

“Sounds simple enough!” Blaze said. He leaned his head and aimed his horn directly onto the feather. Blaze’s horn started to glow and sparkle a bit. Blaze was struggling a bit though; he began to grunt and wheeze, and not just that, he was grunting and wheezing too! Yes, you can grunt and wheeze twice! Blaze tried all his strength to pick up the feather, but then he saw the feather floating off the ground. “I did it, Twilight! HA! I did it!” Blaze said excitedly, but his excitement went away when he saw the feather moving around funny, and then he found out Spike was carrying a stick and the feather was tied on a string connected to the stick. Spike chuckled as he was waving the stick around which caused the feather to move around.

“SPIKE!” Blaze yelled.

“What? I was trying to help!” Spike said as he was chuckling still.

“Ok Blaze, now let’s see if we can do it WITHOUT Spike’s ‘help’.” Twilight instructed him.

“Ok.” Blaze said as he aimed his horn at the feather again. He huffed and puffed and blew the house down. No, not really. I just wanted to say that. So he grunted and wheezed and he tried all he could to activate his magic, but it wouldn’t even spark. Blaze collapsed on the ground in exhaustion.

“Unicorn magic is a difficult procedure. I wasn’t good at it at first either.” Twilight said.

“I know how the story goes, Twilight.” Blaze complained.

Meanwhile, back with Rainbow Dash and me, Rainbow continued to teach me what I needed to know about flying, and so far, I still haven’t even been able to control them yet. “Flare, it is so simple! How can you not know how to even move them?!” Rainbow complained.

“You think unicorns would know how to use wings quickly?” I asked. “I bet if Twilight grew some wings, she wouldn’t be able to move them right away either.”

“Don’t give up, Flare. You’re just not trying hard enough. Moving your wings is no different from moving your hooves. Just move them!” Rainbow instructed me. I kept attempting to move my wings. I grunted, wheezed, and……… grunted, but eventually I was able to lift my wings up. “HA! You did it, Flare! You did it!”

“Cool! I knew I could do it! I dunno how it’s easy for you; these wings are heavy for me!” I said.

“You’ll get used to it, and soon you’ll be in the air in no time at all!” Rainbow said.

“If I was gonna be up in there in no time, I would’ve been in the air by now.” I corrected her.

“But aren’t you in the air now?” Rainbow asked.

“WHAT?!” I yelled out as I looked down, but how foolish of me, I was still on the ground.

“HA! Mage’a look!” Rainbow teased.

“Yes, I know, I am on the ground. Look!” I pointed to the ground.

“Yes, I see that.” Rainbow looked down and said.

“HA! Mage’a look!” I teased her.

“No, that only works if it’s a lie.” Rainbow corrected me.

“You’re so stubborn, Rainbow. I’m not playing this game with you anymore.” I complained.

“I guess you know how I feel when you joke with me.” Rainbow said.

“Oh c’mon, my jokes are harmless! That’s cruel!” I corrected her. Rainbow just shook her head.

“Let’s just continue. You are improving with your newly formed wings. Let’s keep it up, and you’ll be able to win Blaze’s bet yet. Can’t wait to see him in that maid outfit!” Rainbow laughed and said.

Back with Blaze and Twilight, all Blaze was able to get accomplished was to fuse a spark out of his horn. “I’m glad you’re starting to be able to control your magic, Blaze, but it’s time we put that little magic you have so far to the test.” Twilight said. “I want you to-

“Do a summon charm? Accio?” Blaze interrupted.

“No.” Twilight said. “I want you to-“

“Water making spell? Aguamenti?” Blaze interrupted again.

“No!” Twilight said a little more angrier. “I want you to-“

“Alohomora? Unlock?” Blaze asked.

“You’re a big fan of Harry Potter, aren’t you?” Twilight asked as she shook her head.

“I like many of British entertainment!” Blaze said.

“Anyways, no. I want you to… fix these glasses.” Twilight said as she threw some cracked glasses on the table. “Otherwise known as Oculus Reparo.”

“Seriously, Twilight? This is the best you can offer me?” Blaze complained.

“You’re not yet ready for more complicated spells, Blaze. Like flying (as I know of), magic takes a lot of patience and practice.” Twilight said.

“I know, but… this is ridiculous!” Blaze complained.

“Well, luckily for you, we’re not doing the Ridiculous spell.” Twilight teased.

“I swear, Twilight, I sometimes can’t understand your personality, like sometimes I don’t get if pictures are real or not.” Blaze said. A cutaway shows a picture of Gabe Newell with three fingers up. It’s up to you to find out if that picture is fake or not. The cutaway ends.

“Now fix these glasses, and you’ll be ready for the next level of your training.” Twilight instructed Blaze. He pretty much didn’t have a choice. To win his bet, he must get this done. Blaze aimed his horn towards the glasses and his horn started to spark a bit. Blaze had his doubts and he tried with all his strength to fix these glasses, but he had the confidence to do so, and therefore, he was successful. “You did it, Blaze! You did it!”

“Wow! I didn’t think I would be able to, but I did!” Blaze said excitedly.

“Magic can be easy, Blaze! Anything can be easy if you have the heart for it.” Twilight said.

“I have a really good feeling about this, Twilight! Better get your camera ready because Flare in a maid dress is serving us food tonight!” Blaze said excitedly.

And so we can speed things up a bit, I’ll just tell you what’s going with the training without dialogue. The next part of training Rainbow was teaching me was just to float off the ground, hover a bit, and touch back down. Rainbow was first giving me an example, and then I was about to follow along. I flapped my wings a bit and I started to hover successfully. We both smiled until, that is, until I spun and started hovering upside down, and then I touched back down by landing on my head. I sincerely hope that doesn’t give me a contusion.

Back with Blaze and Twilight, Twilight was giving Blaze an example by showing him how to turn pages of a book using magic. Blaze nodded his head and did the same successfully. Twilight smiled at him in his success, although the book magically ignites itself into flames. After a few moments, Spike bursts in with a fire extinguisher and takes out the fire, but Blaze and Twilight gets blasted in the process and now their faces are now foamy and shaped like mustaches and beards. Spike starts laughing at them and the two just glared at him. Twilight wants him to try again so she brings out another book. Blaze activates his horn and attempts to turn the pages of the book, and he did it successful, and the book did not ignite again, but as they thought it was a complete success, the book started coming to life and started chomping with its book pages and the book starts to chase Blaze and Twilight through the room.

Back with Rainbow and I, Rainbow was flying through a couple of hoops real fast while she carries a horse-shoe on her hoof. I was flying over at the starting line (having a rough time flying though) and she passes the horse-shoe to me so I can fly through the hoops next. I take the hoof and then…… I eat it because it wasn’t a real horse-shoe, it was a chocolate one. Rainbow just glares at me and gives me another horse-shoe, and well…. I ate that too. Rainbow gives herself a facehoof, flies over to the Famous Hoofwear store in town and buys some real horse-shoes from there. She flies back in just a couple of seconds and gives me a real horse-shoe. The chocolate ones were less heavy because they didn’t have me being tilted to the side unlike this horse-shoe. I may be improving on my flying but I’m no pro yet. So I flew over to the hoops and tried to go through them, but I kept getting knocked into them and nearly fell. I eventually made it to the end, even though it took me 1/10th of the time Rainbow took to get to the other side, but it was an improvement. Right after, I ate the real horse-shoe.

Back with Blaze and Twilight, they were getting ready for the next lesson. Twilight was showing Blaze how to use magic to create water out of thin-air. Twilight uses her horn and stirs it towards an empty bowl to create water. Blaze was pretty impressed and he couldn’t wait to give it a try himself. So Blaze inserted his horn into another empty bowl and began to stir. A liquid substance did appear but it was yellow. Blaze and Twilight were a bit confused on what that liquid was, but the answer was later revealed after Blaze sneezes and some of his Draconian fire breath gets into the yellow liquid substance and then it ignites into flames. Huge flames! Spike ran over to the fire and, once again, used a fire extinguisher to take out the fire. The foam also affected Blaze and Twilight but instead of mustaches and beards, it was a clown wig on Blaze’s head and a pipe on Blaze’s mouth. Spike started to laugh again. Just then, the laughter stopped as all three of them were being chased by the live chomping book again.

Back with Rainbow and I, Rainbow was demonstrating that being able to fly, I must keep balance, so Rainbow flies up into the air, spins around, and was able to land safely without being dizzy. When it was my turn, I refused to go because I was busy eating horse-shoes, but I promised I’d do it later.

Back with Twilight and Blaze, they were still being chased by the chomping book. Blaze stops and faces the book and uses his magic on it, thinking it would be stopped, but all he was able to do is help it grow sharp and pointy teeth. The book was more dangerous than ever. After a little while of chasing, Twilight used her magic on the book and trapped it in a cage. Twilight nodded at Blaze and smiled. “Blaze…” she said.

“Flare…” Rainbow said to me.

“I think you’re ready!” they both said at the same time, window to window.

“Hey do I get a window?” I asked as a window me appears right below them.

“What’s this all about?” Blaze asked as his window appears right on top of our’s.

“I dunno, but I hope it doesn’t start up any fires.” Spike said as a window of him appeared in between Blaze and Twilight on the left side.

“RAARGH! RAARGH!” the chomping book growled as a window of it appears between mine and Rainbow’s side. Right afterwords, the Brady Bunch theme song plays as Alice from the TV show appears right at the center of it all.

“Who’s she?” Spike asked as she looked over at Alice’s window. “She better not be my replacement.”

And so, the time has come for the ultimate showdown, of ultimate destiny! Good guys and bad guys and explosions, as far as the eye can see! And only one will survive, I wonder who it would be? This is the ultimate showdown, of ultimate destiny! Love that song! If you haven’t listened to it yet, go do so, but don’t listen to it’s…. parody. Anyways, let us continue. Over at Sweet Apple Acres, the Mane Six, as well as the Noble Six, the CMCs, and the Apple family went over to the fields to watch Blaze and I battle of the races. “Snacks! Get your nice delicious snacks here!” AppleJack cried out as she was giving out some apple treats.

“Yeah, you got any horse-shoes? Flare says they’re pretty good.” Crystal requested.

“Sure, here ya go.” AppleJack said as she gave Crystal some actual horse-shoes to eat.

“I still wonder how she’s were able to do it.” Aqua said.

“Do what, Aqua?” Apple Bloom asked.

“How she’s able to switch pony races that easily.” Aqua said.

“Twilight is an awesome unicorn! I don’t think I’ve ever seen a unicorn so awesome!” Scootaloo said excitedly. Sweetie Belle glares at Scootaloo and clears her throat. “Oh calm down, Sweetie Belle. You don’t even know how to work that thing.” She pointed out as she pokes her horn.

“Don’t worry, Sweetie Belle. Ya’ll learn eventually. It didn’t take me until I was 8 to learn my magic.” Aqua whispered to Sweetie Belle.

“I’m 10.” Sweetie Belle corrected him.

“Oh… well… better late than never, right?” Aqua asked.

“Great! Now my cutie mark is the least of my problems.” Sweetie Belle complained.

“Smooth, Aqua. Real smooth.” Psyche nodded.

“WOO! This is gonna be so much fun!” Pinkie cheered. “I’ve always wanted to see a battle to the DEATH!”

“Wait, what?” Aqua asked.

“Pinkie, this isn’t a battle to the death.” Psyche corrected her.

“I didn’t say this was one. I just said I’ve always wanted to see one.” Pinkie corrected him, laughed, and patted him on the head. “Need to learn to listen sometimes, Psychey!”

“Hey, hey! Don’t mess up my hair!” Psyche yelled.

“Now, Blaze. Are you alright?” Twilight asked.

“Yes, I’m alright, Twilight.” Blaze said.

“You all ready? You all energized?” Twilight asked.

“Yes, Twilight, I’m all ready.” Blaze nodded.

“You have all your magic ready?” Twilight asked.

“Yes.” Blaze nodded.

“You know what spells to use?”

“Yes.”

“You have nothing stressful in your head?”

“Yes.”

“Did you remember to eat breakfast this morning?”

“Yes.”

“Lunch?”

“Yes.”

“Supper?”

“Yes.”

“Did you brush your teeth?”

“Yes.”

“Do you hate Doctor Who?”

“Yes- I MEAN NO!” Blaze yelled.

“Just testing you, Blaze. You have to remain focused.” Twilight said.

“Right.” Blaze agreed.

“Alright Flare, I want you to be awesome!” Rainbow said.

“No.” I said.

“Why not?” Rainbow asked. “Cause you’re already awesome?”

“No cause I’m not awesome.” I said. “I’m awesome POSSUM.”

Rainbow sighs and said, “Alright then, you’re ‘awesome possum’.”

“Isn’t that what I just said?” I asked.

“Just do everything I taught you. You come a long way.” Rainbow said.

“Took a while though.” I said.

“Oh yes… it took… a very long while.” Rainbow said.

“But it was worth it, right?” I asked.

“Let us hope so, dude. Let us hope so.” Rainbow nodded. So, Blaze and I stepped onto the field where the two of us are suppose to have the showdown. The two of us glared at eachother, gave eachother mischievous looks, and showed our toughness to eachother. Blaze spits on the ground, I blew spit bubbles, Blaze uses a grindstone on his horn, I iron my wings, Blaze splits a lemon in two and sticks them into his eyes and screams more in anger than in pain, and then I eat some actual horse-shoes.

I’m gonna let Crystal narrate the next part:

I must say, I never thought I’d see the day this would happen, but it has - other ponies eating real-life horse-shoes. I must say, times are changing. Then again, time always changes. The military added 13:00 to their clocks, as well as 14-23, and even putting a 0 before 1. Equestria isn’t what it used to be, I’ll tell you that. You know the kind of pony that likes to hang out with her friends and watch cartoons and likes to touch things with her tongue? Well, that’s me. I’m also the type of pony that likes to hang out with her friends and watch cartoons. Oh wait, I already said that. I also hold the Ponyville record for staring at the sun. My name is Crystal.

Alright back to me again. When Blaze and I were getting ready for the showdown, AppleJack was hosting the gig. She started, “Howdy, fillies and gentlecolts!”

“Howdy!” Apple Bloom cried out from the distance.

“Welcome to the first annual Opposite Races Showdown and boy this is gonna be a real doozy of a battle, y’all!” AppleJack cried out.

“She’s acting like this type of battle will happen in the future. First annual.” I whispered to Rainbow.

“This town has a lot of annual events. I don’t really get it either, and I’ve been in Ponyville for about 3 years already.” Rainbow whispered.

“Now in this corner we have Blaze Goldheart, formally a Pegasus, and now a unicorn. His mentor: Twilight Sparkle has taught him what he needs to know, and ah wish him the best of luck!” AppleJack said.

“Thank you, AppleJack!” Blaze said.

“And over here we have Flare Gun, formally a unicorn, now a Pegasus. He was trained by the best flyer in Equestria, or so Princess Celestia calls her.” AppleJack said.

“I don’t need the princess to tell me I’m the best, AJ.” Rainbow stuck her tongue out at AJ and said.

“Now then, are we ready to have this showdown?!” AppleJack cried out.

“No. But we’re ready to rumble!” Crystal yelled out from the audience.

“BATTLE TO THE DEATH!” Pinkie cried out and laughed evilly.

“WHO-RAH!” I yelled.

“Bro, remember the rules: neither of us shall be harmed in this showdown.” Blaze reminded me.

“Death doesn’t always necessarily mean ‘harm’.” I corrected him.

“It can cause mental harm to one though.” Blaze corrected me.

“Blaze, sometimes I feel you misunderstand me on purpose, like an internet relationship.” I said.

A cutaway shows an IM between a young stallion and a young mare. The mare said, “Your adorable!” Then the stallion said, “No YOU’RE adorable!” Then the mare puts up a heart sign. The stallion started to complain to himself, “Great! Now she thinks I like her. All I did was point out a typo!” The cutaway ends.

“So, are we ready to start?” AppleJack asked Blaze and I.

“Who’s ‘we’? You sound like you’re including yourself into this.” I pointed out.

“Yeah, I agree.” Blaze said. “You haven’t changed your race yet, AJ.”

AppleJack sighs and said, “Ah mean are you two ready?”

“We sure are!” Blaze said.

“Hey don’t talk for me, Blaze! You don’t know if I’m ready!” I corrected him.

“Ok… are you ready?” Blaze asked.

“Shut up.” I said. Blaze and I then bowed to eachother and we took a few steps back to begin the showdown.

“You start, Flare! Show us whachya got!” Blaze insisted.

“Alright then, let’s start off with a simple summer-salt.” I said.

“Doncha mean summer-saw?” Blaze asked.

“No I mean… yes I mean summer-saw.” I said as I started flapping my wings started floating up and back and before I knew it, I did something I never done before – a backflip! Circus Olay, here I come!

“Great! Even he can fly!” Scootaloo complained.

“Look on the bright side, Scoots! Dodos are no longer extinct!” Sweetie Belle teased as her and Apple Bloom started to chuckle.

“Wait, I… I don’t get it.” Scoots said confusingly.

“Not bad, Flare. Not bad at all.” Blaze nodded his head. “But let’s see what you’d think of this new spell I got!” Blaze’s horn suddenly began to glow and he poofed up something, but… what was it? There was nothing different in sight.

“Uhh, what did you do?” I asked curiously.

“Hey Flare, you look pretty wheezy. Need a hanky?” Blaze asked.

“Not because I’m wheezy.” I said. Blaze opens his mouth and takes out a hanky for me, but after that hanky comes another hanky in a different color, then another hanky in a different, then another, then another, then another, until there was like a hundred hankies coming out of Blaze’s mouth. It was impressive at first, but after like… the 67th hanky, I started to get bored. “Are you nearly done?” I complained.

“Yeah, hole on.” Blaze said with a mouthful of hankies. Hankies just kept coming out of his mouth and it just wouldn’t stop.

“C’mon Blaze, you proved your point. Get on with it!” I complained.

“I’m tying! Hole on!” Blaze yelled. After a few minutes, the hankies finally stopped. “Ok, there!”

“It’s about time. My turn.” I said as I flashed out my wings and flapped them about, and right after, I pull a feather out with my teeth, take out a piece of paper and some ink, dipped the feather into the ink and then I wrote something down on the piece of paper, placed the paper inside a little glass bottle, and then placed it aside. Blaze then suddenly uses his magic to teleport the bottle away. “Oooo, nice way to use your turn, brah!”

“Thanks! What did the paper say?” Blaze asked.

“None of your business.” I said.

“Oh… ok, if you’re gonna be that way. Anyways, your turn.” Blaze said.

“I gotta say, man. Your turn that you just did was MUCH faster than your last turn!” I pointed out.

“Indeed it was.” Blaze agreed. “It’ll be even faster if you don’t hurry up and take your turn, Flare.”

“Blaze, can I talk to you for a moment?” Twilight asked.

“Yeah, you too, Flare.” Rainbow said.

“Right away!” we both said at the same time.

“I said it first!” I yelled. So the both of us went over to our mentors to see what they wanted.

“Blaze, what are you doing?” Twilight asked.

“Flare, what are you doing?” Rainbow asked.

“I’m using my magic to impress the crowd and win the showdown.” Blaze said.

“I’m using my wings to impress the crowd and make them die over my awesomeness.” I said.

“I like your style, Blaze.” Twilight said.

“I REALLY like your style, Flare.” Rainbow said.

“But can you demonstrate your magic a little…. You know…. Better?” Twilight asked. When she asked that, this Word pad actually spell-checked the ‘your’ as a ‘you’re’. For Wizard of Hope’s sake! Why do I rely on anything to correct me?!

“Flare, can you demonstrate your wings a little…. You know….. less bad?” Rainbow asked.

“What am I doing wrong?” Blaze asked.

“You can’t spell ‘demonstrate’ without ‘demon’!” I pointed out.

“You’re using simple magic.” Twilight said.

“You’re using your wings the wrong way.” Rainbow said.

“If you really want to-“ Twilight started.

“-wow the crowd.” Rainbow added.

“You’re gonna have to-“ Twilight started.

“-give it everything you got!” Rainbow added.

“It’s the only way you-“

“-can win this showdown.”

“Also it would seem that-“

“-Twilight is starting off every sentence I’m having with you.”

“And Rainbow seems to-“

“-end everything she’s saying.”

“Right.” Blaze nodded. “Well, I’ll take your advice, Twilight, and-“

“-I’m really in the mood for some nachos right now.” I said as I rubbed my stomach.

“That sounds nothing like-“ Rainbow started.

“-you were talking about, Blaze.” Twilight added.

“Ok this is getting trippy.” Blaze said. “This really needs to-“

“-But then I took an arrow to the knee.” I added.

“FLARE!” Blaze called out to me. “That wasn’t what I was-“

“-my hoof is starting to itch real bad.” I added as I started raised my hoof towards my face and started gnawing on it.

“Just push your limit, Blaze. Alright?” Twilight instructed him.

“You too, Flare.” Rainbow instructed me.

“What? We’re not gonna finish each other’s sentences anymore?” I asked.

“Just… get out there!” Rainbow shoved me and demanded. So Blaze and I walked back to each other and smirked at each other.

“Hi, Blaze.” I said in a mischievous voice.

“Hi.” Blaze said in the same tone.

“I really have no idea what to do.” I said.

“Neither do I.” Blaze said.

“UGH!” Twilight and Rainbow both groaned and facehooved each other.

“Flare, you were you right. It’s not easy being a unicorn. I did a decent amount of-“ Blaze started.

“-practice, but it wasn’t the best. Takes years of practice. So… maybe we’re better off as our own races.” I added.

“I thought us finishing each other’s sentences was over?” Blaze asked.

“I thought so too. It was a habit actually.” I said.

“C’mon, Flare! Show your stuff!” Rainbow called out.

“Rainbow, I… I think they just learned a lesson.” Twilight said.

“What do you mean? Already?” Rainbow asked.

“Yeah.” Twilight said.

“Before the contest?” Rainbow asked.

“Exactly!” Twilight said. “They both learned that-“ but before Twilight could finish, there was a loud roar in the distance.

“Yes! The action!” Rainbow said excitedly. “Can’t learn a lesson without some sort of action, right Twilight?”

“I prefer it the other way around to be honest.” Twilight admitted. Out in the distance, there was a giant shadow with giant tentacles, roaring real loud and approaching us pretty swiffly.

“What is that?!” Aqua cried out.

“Whatever it is… it sure did make this boring fight more interesting.” Crystal said.

I don’t really get Crystal all the time. She really confuses me, but regardless of her weird ways, she does make good points. Ya know the kind of pony that’s far from home and the only family he has is his nosy sister and the only friends you’ll make is a bunch of weirdos? I never say that out loud though. Don’t have the guts for it, I’m afraid. I always wear blue aquatic armor, in fact, the same aquatic blue armor. I do change my underwear though daily, so don’t think I’m that disgustin’. My name is Aqua.

So the humongous monster started getting closer and closer. Most of us were afraid, and the rest were just concerned, but nopony moved from their spots. “What is that?!” Spike cried out.

“Uh, Spike? Are you sure you took care of that chomping book?” Twilight asked.

“You never told to me to do ANYTHING with that chomping book.” Spike corrected her. “But that doesn’t explain what that monster over there is.” Just as we expected (or some of us expected cause I had no idea there was a chomping book in the first place), it was the chomping book, mutated into a giant octopus-godzilla book with huge pointy teeth and a huge slimy tongue that roared and started stomping towards our position.

“Uhh, why is there a mutated book?” Rainbow asked.

“Spell went wrong.” Blaze said.

“Of course you’d be the one to create giant monsters with unicorn magic.” Rainbow complained.

“It wasn’t that way when I made it! What do you think made it that way?!” Blaze yelled.

A cutaway shows the chomping book in Twilight’s library finding a can of spinach in her pantry. As sailor music started playing in the background, the chomping book grabbed the spinach with one of its tentacles, squeezed the can and the spinach flew into the books mouth. The book’s tentacles started growing muscles and they made a ding sound, and then two steam discharges bursted out the sides of the book with the ‘toot, toot’ sound. The cutaway ends.

“That still doesn’t explain where the tentacles came from.” Blaze said.

“It’s Clash of the Titans.” Twilight said.

“Ah.” Blaze nodded. So the monstrous book began to walk closer and closer. Everypony was starting to get afraid, even Granny Smith, who holds her chest and starts to screech and passes out.

“OH NO! Granny’s havin’ a heart attack!” Apple Bloom cried out.

“No ah’m not, ya ding-dong!” Granny Smith woke up and corrected her. “That’s just the way ah scream!”

“Don’t worry, everypony! I’ll protect us from the monster!” Rainbow cried out.

“TO THE DEATH!” Pinkie yelled.

“Step aside, Rainbow! I think it’s up to us to defeat that mutant.” I said.

“Are you sure, man?” Blaze asked me. “We’re barely experienced in our new races.”

“This is our chance to prove ourselves. We don’t have much time. If one of us is to win this bet, how about the one who defeats the book will be champion?” I suggested.

“Come to think of it, that’s not a bad idea!” Blaze agreed.

“I second that!” Twilight agreed.

“Good luck, you two! Win this for both of us, Flare! I still wanna see Blaze in that maid outfit!” Rainbow said mischievously.

“Blaze is gonna wear a maid outfit?!” Crystal yelled out surprisingly.

“Not if I beat this monster I won’t!” Blaze yelled out. Blaze activated his horn and started using his magic on the book, and as for me, I started to fly up and started to fight the monster myself. Everypony was watching Blaze and I in action as we used our newly formed race powers to destroy the book, but you think it’s that simple? No, the only magic Blaze was able to do was grow a daisy on the book’s head. The book did look a little more lovely, and even it was impressed by that, but it didn’t stop it from going berserk around the farm. As for me, I was flying in circles, away from the book, and even crashing into a hay stack.

“Oh it’s no use! Rainbow, it’s up to you and me.” Twilight said as she jinxes it. The book used it’s tentacle to grab Rainbow and Twilight, and trap them on its grip. Twilight and Rainbow started to scream.

“RAINBOW!” Blaze yelled as he continued using his cheap parlor trick magic to stop the mutated book. Blaze summoned a giant black rainbow cloud in hoping he can strike the book, but his magic backfires on him and strikes him back. Oooooooh! So that’s why they call it lightning strikes! I’ve been wondering that. Lightning strikes is a reference to Star Wars! Wow, I never thought of that!

Just then, I suddenly burst out of the hay stack with a needle on my nose and I say to myself, “C’mon, Flare! You can do this! Rainbow is depending on you!” So after I removed the needle from my nose, I flew up to the book real fast in attempt to defeat it. Good news: I flew straight this time, so that’s an improvement! Bad news: I flew right passed the book and into the bell tower on the barn.

“Twilight, I’m sorry! I failed you! I’m no good at being a unicorn!” Blaze yelled out.

“Same here!” I yelled out. “Except I’m talking about me being a Pegasus, and I’m talking to Rainbow, and instead of ‘I failed you’, I just… didn’t pass, and instead of ‘no good’, I ‘ain’t good’. “

“It’s ok, Blaze! You tried your best!” Twilight yelled out as she was still stuck on the book’s tentacle with Rainbow.

“If you’re not meant to be, Flare, you’re not meant to be. It’s ok. We’re all awesome at something, but we don’t need to be awesome at EVERYTHING.” Rainbow explained.

“And don’t let anypony tell you otherwise!” Twilight added.

“Thank you!” Blaze said. “Can you get yourselves out of there?”

“We’re trying!” Rainbow yelled out as she struggled.

“I’ll try to use my magic!” Twilight said as she was about to use her magic to stop the book, but the book uses one its other tentacles to block her horn. “I can’t! It’s blocking my magic!”

“It’s up to us, Blaze!” I yelled out.

“Why? We’re not good at what we are currently!” Blaze asked. “Why can’t our friends help us?”

“Because we’re just here to watch.” Crystal said.

“Don’t ask us why. It’s complicated to explain.” Aqua said.

“We’re not the heroes of this story. Duh!” Pinkie said.

“What are you talkin’ about, Pinks?” AppleJack asked.

“Death, AppleJack. Death.” Pinkie nodded.

“So what do we do then, Blaze?” I asked.

“I… I don’t know. I guess we work together against the book…. I guess? It’s pretty obviously actually.” Blaze explained.

“Yeah, pretty much. Every solution here in Equestria is either working together, or it’s ok to be different, and so far, the friendship lessons I’ve been seeing here keep repeating.” I said.

“Yeah, so… yeah.” Blaze said.

“Charge?” I asked.

“Charge.” Blaze said.

“Ok.” I said. So Blaze started to scream and sprint towards the book with his horn glowing, and I started flying real fast towards the book, hoping for the best. As we were close to the book, something was happening with my wings and Blaze’s horn. Blaze’s horn suddenly disappears, which kinda startles him, and he stops running. My wings suddenly disappear as well, and I began to fall.

“BLAZE! FLARE!” Twilight and Rainbow yelled out.

Rainbow then looked over to Twilight with a glare and she asked, “Are we… are we gonna do that again? Talk at the same time?”

As I regain consciousness and rub my head, I had that familiar feeling as I was rubbing my head. “HEY! The pointy thing on my head is back!”

“So are my wings!” Blaze cried out in excitement.

“Wow, it’s already been 24 hours? Time ‘flies’ when you’re having fun! HA! Get it, Blaze? Time FLIES?” I teased.

“HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA- no.” Blaze laughed sarcastically. The book started to roar as it continued to… wait, the book wasn’t doing anything. It was just holding Twilight and Rainbow and continued to roar, not much else.

Now that Blaze has his wings back, and I have my horn, we were ready to fight the book. Blaze flies up to the book and uses his dragon breath on it, and I activated my hornsaber and used that on the book, as well as my laser blast. We harmed the book, and it lost its grip on Twilight and Rainbow, and they were able to join the fight. To conclude this fight, Twilight used a reverse spell on the book, and the book started shrinking, losing its tentacles and even its sharp teeth, and the book returns to its original form, except now it’s all moistly and wet out of all the saliva it had from roaring and chomping so much. The four of us all walked over to the book and looked down at it.

“Is it over?” Rainbow asked.

“Not quite.” I said as I took out Medusa’s Head and aimed it right at the book to turn it into stone.

“What was that for?” Twilight asked.

“It’s a Clash of the Titians book, and it was a kraken. Obviously, the only one to truly defeat this monster was to use Medusa’s Head.” I said.

“Where did you even get that?” Blaze asked.

“Oh I dunno. It was my personal chest inside my bedroom.” I said as I placed a blind fold on Medusa’s eyes for safe keeping and placed it safely aside.

“Well, it is over now, and we learned a big lesson today, didn’t we, Flare? Neither of us are better at each other’s races, and never place unnecessary bets.” Blaze explained.

“Uh, YOU learned that lesson, Blaze. I didn’t want to bet anything. I only wanted to become a Pegasus for fun.” I corrected him.

“That is true, Blaze.” Rainbow agreed.

“So who won the bet anyway?” Blaze asked.

“I did.” Spike said.

“Spike?” Blaze asked.

“Yes. Allow me to explain.” Spike started as he used his firebreath to cough up a contract. “Blaze and Flare had a bet to see who is better at each other’s races and the answer is: neither. They both were bad at it. You two may not know it, but Twilight and Rainbow also had a deal to see who would be a better teacher to teach them everything they knew, and the answer was: neither, ‘cause look at the results. Not to mention, both of them got hurt during the showdown, and that was against the rules. I was also in the bet. I knew neither of them would be better at each other’s races. You’re only better at what you’re already good at. Not the other way around. So I win this bet. That means you all have to wear maid outfits and serve ME all the greatest foods in Equestria made by the greatest chefs.”

“WHAT?!” Blaze yelled.

“It’s true it would seem.” Twilight said.

“The agreement never lies. Me of all ponies should know that.” I said.

“Jokes on you, Blaze! I wanted to see you in that maid outfit in the first place, so technically, I’m a winner too.” Rainbow said mischievously.

“Does anypony even notice that ah haven’t been sayin’ anythin’ at all?” Engie asked.

“Ah, relax Engie. You’re gonna have your own time to shine next chapter.” Crystal said, comforting him.

The next day, over at the big event in Town Hall with the greatest chefs in Equestria, some different chosen invited townfolk were over there, having a taste of it all, and needful to say, I was cooking, but at the same time I had to go with Blaze, Rainbow, and Twilight, and we were all wearing maid outfits, and we were serving the event. Spike was whistling as he saw us. “Shut it, brah.” I said as I served him a horse-shoe.

“What is that?” Spike asked.

“BON APPETITE, JERKFACE!” I yelled at him.

“Rude.” Spike said.

“Hey, this was all worth it to see you in a dress, Blaze.” Rainbow smirked at him and said. Blaze sighs. Well, there you go! This proves to you that I am a terrible Pegasus. It makes up for my leet magic spells, y’know?

Meanwhile, over at Canterlot, a dark shadow was walking around the castle gardens, sneaking past the guards, hiding behind shrubs and statues. After a little sneaking, the shadow goes over to a statue and looks up at it. “Yes! All part of my next plan!” the dark said and snorted. Just then, a mysterious bottle appears out of nowhere and lands on the shadow’s head. “OW!” he yelled. “What is this? This ain’t no ocean! Why is there a note in a bottle?” The shadow uses his magic to open the bottle and take the note out and reads it, “None of your business.” The note read. “What in the wide world of bacon? You know what? Nevermind, because this won’t stop me from starting up the next phase of my plan!” the shadow places a dark circle with a red S logo on the statue the shadow was observing, and that particular statue he was looking at was stoned Discord.

Spice of Life

Hey, remember when chapter 22 used to be just a chapter Twilight’s family and Pinkie’s family doing Family Feud? Well… that idea was scratched. Not that interesting. So I’ll just use a story I haven’t told you yet. We start off our story at the house that is owned by none other than our very own Red Engineer! He sits down in front of the computer and says depressingly to himself, “Ah can’t see an end… ah have no control… ah can’t escape… ah don’t even have a home anymore.” Engie gets all teary eyed and unplugs his keyboard from his computer. He sighs and says, “Definitely time for a new keyboard.”

Just then there was a knock on the door. Engie walked up to the door to see who it was, and if you thought it was me, you are badly mistaken, because the only knocks I ever do is the Sheldon Cooper knock, or the Shave and a Haircut knock. On the other side was Aqua and Crystal. “Engie, hey!” Crystal said.

“Hey, Crystal, Aqua! What’s up?” Engie asked.

“Well, just seeing if you wanna hang out.” Crystal said.

“Mainly the only times we ever hang out is when Flare is around. It’s a nice change.” Aqua said.

“Y’all are absolutely right!” Engie said. “Ah need to run a few errands today anyway. Maybe you can come.”

“Sounds ok to me.” Aqua said.

“Sounds boring, but then again, I did boring stuff before. One time, I was a hotel maid.” Crystal said.

A cutaway shows Crystal as a hotel maid at a hotel (obviously). The manager explains to her, “Alright, Miss Iceblast, here’s what you need to do. All you need to do is make beds nonstop. Now I know there are a lot of bedrooms here and we’re short of maids, but I want you to keep making beds. 24 hours a day you’ll be making beds. You’ll be so good at making beds in the end, you’ll get to make beds in your sleep!”

“So when do I sleep?” Crystal asked.

“You won’t have time to sleep, Miss Iceblast. Not with all the bed-making you’ll be doing.” The manager said. The cutaway ends.

So Engie, Aqua, and Crystal were all on their way to the store to get Engie’s new keyboard. “Ah, the electronics store!” Aqua said to himself. “A place where I feel the least at home more than anywhere else.”

“You know, it’s a good thing we’re here. It’s almost Psyche’s birthday and I wanna get him something.” Crystal said.

“Ah, excellent idea, Crystal! Maybe there’s somethin’ around ‘ere ah can get for him.” Engie said.

“Way to steal my idea.” Crystal whispered to Aqua. He nodded. Engie starts walking down the isles, looking for something for Psyche for his birthday.

“Ya know they have DVDs over there.” Aqua pointed towards the other end of the store.

“Yes, but they have DVD burners over here.” Engie said as he walked over to the leftist part of the store. Leftist? That’s a word? I mean Microsoft Word isn’t giving me that little red line underneath so… I’ll take it. “Psyche needs a DVD burner.”

“Engie, a gift shouldn’t be something they NEED, it should be something fun. Something they wouldn’t buy for themselves.” Aqua advised him.

“You mean like a pair of socks?” Engie asked.

“YES!” Crystal cried in excitement. “Definitely a pair of socks!”

“Well… something like that.” Aqua said.

“Right… FUN socks! Like freshly knitted socks with little cotton balls on it.” Crystal said.

“Is it the geometry that makes it fun?” Engie asked.

“Look, the point is, one of the ways we show we care about other ponies is putting thought and imagination to the gifts we give them.” Aqua advised.

“Ok, ah get what you’re gettin’ at.” Engie nodded. “So not a DVD burner.”

“Exactly!” Aqua said excitedly.

“It has to be somethin’ fun, somethin’ with imagination.” Engie thought to himself as he looked through the isles. “Somethin’ Psyche wouldn’t get for himself. Like a… ooo a 802.11n wireless router! That is sure fun!” Engie said excitedly as he took a look at the routers.

Aqua sighs. “Aw, it’s ok Aqua.” Crystal said. “Usually what I get on my birthday is those funky socks with the cotton balls on it. It’s not much, but it’s made with love and that’s the important thing!”

“I suppose ya’re right about that, Crystal.” Aqua nodded.

“Ah nice! Routers! Psyche will love a new router.” Engie said.

“Steal my ideas, again.” Crystal whispered to Aqua.

“Ya didn’t say anything though.” Aqua corrected her.

“I was thinking it though.” Crystal said. Engie takes two different routers off the shelf and takes a look at them.

“Hmm.” Engie thought. “What do you two think?” Engie asked Aqua and Crystal as he showed them the boxes.

“Umm… that one.” Aqua pointed to the Netgear one.

“Because of the two additional Ethernet ports?” Engie asked.

Aqua got confused for moment there because he had no idea what that was. “Sure.” He said.

“He doesn’t need them, he’s already got a 640 connect switch.” Engie said.

“Ok, then this one.” Aqua chooses the other router.

“Why?” Engie asked.

“I dunno… the guy on the box looks happy?” Aqua guessed.

“Aqua, if ah’m gonna buy Psyche a gift, ah’m gonna do it right. Ah don’t want him to suffer the same childhood trauma ah went through.” Engie said.

“And what kind of trauma is that?” Crystal asked.

On my twelfth birthday ah really wanted a titanium centrifuge, so, you know, ah could separate radioactive isotopes.” Engie said.

“Of course.” Aqua mumbled.

Instead of a titanium centrifuge, my robotic parents bought me… wow, this is hard.” Engie hesitated as he talked. “They got me… a motorized dirt bike.”

“No way!” Crystal said shockingly.

“Ah know, right?! What kind of 12 year old wants a motorized dirt bike?” Engie asked.

“Uhh, all of them?” Aqua said awkwardly.

“That is so cool, Engie!” Crystal said.

“I consider ya lucky, mate.” Aqua said. “The best gift I ever got for my birthday was bungee jumping in a cave.” A cutaway shows Aqua wearing a sky-diving suit in the middle of the woods, tying a rope on a fragile pole and then he jumps down. “I didn’t tell anypony what I was doing today!” he cried out as it echoes through the cave. The cutaway ends. “From that day forward, I was afraid of heights.”

“So we’re getting that one?” Crystal asked as she pointed to the box with the happy guy on it.

“I suppose.” Engie said. “But we’re still not usin’ your reason why we’re gettin’ it though.”

“Umm, excuse me, sir?” one of the background ponies that goes by the name of Lightning Bolt asks Engie. “Do you know anything about this stuff?”

“No, ah don’t know anythin’ about this stuff.” Engie said. “Ah know EVERYTHIN’ about this stuff, partner.”

“You see, I’m a manager of the Cloudsdale Cloud Factory and I want to hook up my computer in the front entrance with the one in the control center.” Lightning Bolt said.

“Here, buy this one!” Crystal suggested as she showed one of the router boxes to Lightning. “See? Happy guy available!”

“No, no, no, she doesn’t want that.” Engie corrected Crystal. “She wants a point to point peer network with a range extender.” Engie gives Lightning Bolt the box with the equipment she needs in it to her.

“Thank you.” Lightning Bolt nodded and walked off.

“Excuse me.” Another background pony by the name of Royal Riff said as he carries two boxes on his back and he tries to get Engie’s attention. “Which hard drive should I get, Firewall or USB?”

“It depends on what bus ya have.” Engie said.

“Uhh…” Royal Riff said confusingly. “I pull a Chevy Cavalier carriage.”

“Oh dear Luna.” Engie said to himself as he shook his head.

“Engie, I think we have what we need, mate. I think we should go now.” Aqua said.

“Not yet, partner. This poor pony needs me.” Engie said as Raindrops was walking towards Engie with a couple of boxes. “Ah’ll be with ya in a minute, miss.” He said to Raindrops. He then turns to Royal Riff and explained, “Now what kind of computer do ya have? And please don’t say a white one.”

Meanwhile, at my shop, it was pretty slow at this moment, mainly because it’s 4 PM and the only customers that are there right now are the ponies that are eating there for linner, so Lyra, Bon Bon, and I were watching some TV to passed the time. “We now return to a movie starring David Spade.” The TV announcer said.

“Insert random joke here.” David Spade said on the TV.

Suddenly, a tomato gets thrown at him and an audience member yells out, “BOO, you suck! You only had one good movie!”

“I know.” David said sadly.

“I dunno what the audience member is talking about. David Spade is the bomb!” Lyra said. After she says that, she looks at me.

“What?” I asked.

“Aren’t you gonna say something wise like ‘boom’?” Lyra asked.

“I only say ‘boom’ if I press C4 on a vending machine.” I said. Just then, my phone starts to ring. Uhh, my work phone, not cell phone. If it were my cell phone, you would’ve heard the Scanner-Life theme song play on it. “Hello?” I answered the phone.

“Flare, it’s Ditzy.” Derpy said on the other line.

“You mean the name everypony forgot you had?” I asked.

“Uhh… yeah. Listen, I’m at the hospital right now.” Derpy said.

“Your daughter have an asthma attack again?” I asked.

“No, I didn’t, and I told you, I’m not her daughter. I’m her niece.” Dinky Doo corrected me as she stood right in front of me, giving me a glare as she leaned on the counter.

“Ok, I’m relieved it’s not Dinky.” I said.

“I had a bit of an… incident. I’m not gonna be able to come to work this week.” Derpy said.

“No wonder I didn’t get any mail today.” I said.

“I’m not the only mail pony in town. There’s Post Haste, there’s the mailpony with the big round glasses that squint a lot, and there’s a third one too, I forgot his name.” Derpy explained.

“Well, I’m sorry to hear that, what happened?” I asked.

“I just don’t know what went wrong.” Derpy said.

“Ah, I see.” I nodded.

“Yeah, so I thought I’d let you know.” Derpy said.

“Thanks, Ditz! I appreciate the call. I’ll hire an unpaid intern as a temporary replacement.” I said.

“Thank you, Flare! I’ll talk to you later.” Derpy said.

“No prob! Bye!” I said as I hung up.

“Yeah, that’s what I came here to tell you. Aunt Ditzy is in the hospital.” Dinky said.

“No pizza?” I asked.

“Nah, I’m on a diet. Diamond Tiara is teasing about my weight.” Dinky explained with a glare expression on her face.

“Why? You’re not chubby. In fact, the only chubby female pony in town is Mrs. Cake.” I said.

“I know, thanks for the enthusiasm, Flare.” Dinky said with a smile.

“Big words confuse me.” I said.

“Anyways, I was thinking maybe you and your employees can give Aunt Derpy a little get-well soon gift.” Dinky suggested.

“Yeah, I was thinking of that myself.” I said.

“Great minds think alike, huh?” Dinky asked.

“Yeah, my mind is great isn’t it?” I asked. “You know, I think I might have a little something we can give her. She likes muffins, right?”

“Pretty much one of the only non made up things about her, yeah.” Dinky nodded.

“Maybe we’ll give Derpy a really great hospital date! Whatever she wants!” I suggested.

“Sounds like a great idea, Flare! I’m in!” Lyra said excitedly.

“Well if you want to give her a really great day, there’s a few things you’ll need to do first.” Dinky said.

“Awwww! But I already offered to do thiiiiis!” I whined. “Do I have to do morrrrrre?”

“It’s no big deal, Flare.” Dinky said. “Alright, number 1: Aunt Ditzy doesn’t have a favorite brand of muffin, but she does like a lot of them, and it has to be freshly bought from that day, and her favorite place to get muffins is Muffin Top Bakery.”

“Never heard of a bakery like that.” I said.

“I’d be surprised if you did. The bakery is in Cloudsdale.” Dinky said.

“Oh… alright. I suppose I can try my best. What else do you want me to do?” I asked.

“Aunt Ditzy loves to play chess with Geri from Ponyville Retirement Village. You should bring him over to play chess with her.” Dinky suggested.

“Bringing an old pony to a hospital? I don’t think he’ll agree to that.” I said.

“Just don’t tell him.” Dinky advised.

“Is that all?” I asked.

“One more; the third thing is Aunt Ditzy loves to read the magazine comics that Uncle Ring Out gets every day. Ditzy will only accept the comics from that particular day you go to the hospital. Uncle Ring Out too lives in Cloudsdale. Here’s his address.” Dinky writes down his address on a piece of paper and gives it to me.

“Sounds easy enough to do.” I said. “Probably almost as easy as 1, 2, 3! At least they don’t feel uncomfee in the bathroom unlike going number 4.”

“Ok, but listen, visiting hours in the hospital end at noon, so we’ll have to be there at 11:40 latest.” Dinky said.

I looked up to the sky and said in my brave voice, “As the Wizards of Hope, Strength, and Feelings as my witnesses, I vow to say that it’s impossible!” my spirit collapsed during the last two words of that sentence.

“Why is that?” Dinky asked.

“It would mean I have to sleep early tonight. I normally wake up around 10, and I don’t think I’ll be able to do it all in an hour in a half.” I complained.

“Then I guess you’ll have to wake up an hour earlier.” Dinky suggested. “Look, I’m not saying you HAVE TO do this, Flare. It was only a suggestion.”

“No… I will do it.” I said. “I’ll do anything for friendship!”

“Glad to hear it! Thank you so much.” Dinky said pleasingly. “But if she asks… I didn’t suggest ANYTHING.”

“Good. I wanna take the credit anyway.” I said. Dinky chuckles and shakes her head.

“I’ll see you later, Flare.” Dinky said as she walks out.

“Wait, don’t you wanna buy some- oh nevermind, she’s gone.” I complained.

“Well this is going to be fun! I can tell.” Lyra said.

“I agree.” Bonnie nodded.

“Oh, Bonnie, how long have you been there?” I asked.

“I’ve been here this whole time.” She said.

“You’ve been pretty quiet. You didn’t say a single word.” I pointed out.

“So what’s the plan, bossman?” Bonnie asked.

“First of all, nice phrase, second, I’m going to go get the stuff Ditzy needs. How’s about we meet at the hospital at 11:30?” I asked.

“Sounds good to me!” Lyra said.

“Are we gonna get paid?” Bonnie asked.

“Wha- is being paid all you care about, Bonnie?!” I complained.

“No, no, I was just…” Bonnie attempts to defend herself.

“You don’t have to go, you know!” I yelled out.

“Sorry I asked, sorry I asked.” Bonnie said, trying to calm me down.

“Oh B-T-W, I rhymed!” I said excitedly. “Alright, so it’s settled. I’ll first go to Uncle Ring Out’s house to get the comic, and then I’ll go to Muffin Top second because the muffins will stay fresher, and then I’ll go pick up Geri.”

“You sure you’re going to be able to do all this in 2 ½ hours?” Bonnie asked.

“Hey, what can go wro-“ I covered my mouth before I could finish that sentence. “Ooo, don’t wanna jinx it!”

Meanwhile, back at the electronics store, Engie was continuing to assist the customers in choosing what kind of parts to use for their electronics. Now, I know what you might be thinking about Engie helping out the customers and he doesn’t even work there, well I thought of it. Engie was using one of the computers to search up an object from the store.

“Ok we don’t have that in stock.” Engie informed Twinkleshine. “But if you want, I can special order it for you.”

“Um, excuse me, sir?” one of the store employees asked Engie. “You don’t work here.”

“Yeah, well, neither does anyone else. Nopony is helpin’ out any of these ponies.” Engie complained.

“Engie, we need to go now, mate.” Aqua said.

“Why?” Engie asked.

“Well, first off, we’re bored, and second, I asked him to call security.” Crystal informed him.

Engie just stood there with a blank expression on his face. He then turned to Twinkleshine and said, “Good luck.” And then he turned to the employee and said, “Ya know, a six year old can hack this computer.” As Engie was talking to the assistant, Crystal takes Engie’s hoof and pulls him out of the store, and Aqua follows as he gave an embarrassing smile to the assistant and let out a squee. “AND 1-2-3-4 ISN’T A SECURE PASSWORD!” Engie cried out to the customer from the distance.

Later that night, the three of them, along with Psyche, Blaze, and I met up at our usual location: the cider bar, and we talk and drank some cider. Eeyup… talked and drank some cider.

“Wow, mate, I can’t believe you have to do all that in just a limited time.” Aqua said to me.

“I know! I’m not one of waking up at 9 AM, brah.” I said. “I mean if I don’t get my beauty-sleep, I’d look like this.” I showed my friends a photo on my phone of Michael Jackson after his incident.

“Dude, that’s offensive.” Blaze said.

“Relax, he’s dead. He won’t feel a thing.” I said.

“I know, but still.” Blaze added. Engie sighs as he shakes his cider mug around from side to side.

“You ok, Engie?” Psyche asked.

“Meh… ah just found out mah life has no meanin’.” Engie said.

“Wish I had a bit every time I heard that.” Aqua said.

“Why do you think your life has no meaning?” Blaze asked.

“Well ah was at the electronics store today and bought some-“ Engie pauses and looks at Psyche because he doesn’t want to ruin his surprise. “…Stuff, and after ah left, ah just remembered. Ah don’t work, and ah haven’t had a single match or even seen anyone in my team since… well… since before ah met Flare and Crystal!”

“I like the way he says my name.” Crystal said.

“Anyways, ah have a income for fixing stuff for ponies, but ah don’t feel that there’s any reason for it. My life, partners. It’s a sour life.” Engie said as he gulped down all that cider in the mug at once.

“Well, I bet would taste pretty good then. I like sour stuff! Nothing is too sour for Crystal Iceblast over here, huh?” Crystal said excitedly.

“You know, Crystal, that’s not really helping.” Psyche said.

“At least I’m not the one that’s messing things up this time.” I said. “I think my friendship life is going easy for me, but still… waking up early, brahs. Holy Wizard of Strength.” I shook my head.

“Ah hope soon ah’ll be able to find mah meanin’ of life. Holy TF2 announcer.” Engie shook his head and said.

“You know, Engie, if you want, you can work for me. We need a bus boy. The old one took a spill in the Stallion’s Room, plus all he did was spit on the dishes and wipe them.” I offered.

“Nah, thanks partner, but ah’d rather have a job that doesn’t involve me slippin’ in pee-pee.” Engie said.

“Alright, well…” I started as I gulped down the rest of my cider. “I’m gonna head home. I need a head start for tomorrow, plus I need to rent a tuxedo from Rarity for my lawsuit case next week on the bus boy’s spill. I swear ponies would do anything to get in your wallet.”

“You must have a pretty big wallet then.” Crystal said.

“I know I do.” I said as I walked outside; I hoped into my huge wallet, I took out a paddle, and I started rowing myself home. The next day came and it was 9 AM. I was waking up in the middle of the night and it wasn’t easy for me. I wanted to make sure Derpy gets her good day, so I started off by going to Cloudsdale. Irony is, I’m not a Pegasus so I can’t just fly up there, I need to rent a balloon, and Cherry Berry owned the balloon in town. She drives a hard bargain, but I was able to pay it off. It was pretty tough to ride the balloon. I never rode one before so it took a hard time getting used to.

Once I got to Cloudsdale, I parked the balloon on some clouds, and- wow, the balloons can park on the clouds but I’d go right through it? Sounded pretty unfair if you ask me. In my pocket was a case full of pills that would allow non-pegasi to walk on clouds for five hours. It’s called Five Hour Cloudergy. It helped me out when I was at Cloudsdale walking to Ring Out’s apartment complex. Be sure to ask your doctor before trying Five Hour Cloudergy. Side-effects may include heavy weight, blindness, loss of gravity, wanting to ‘move-it move-it’. Trust me, King Julian overdosed on this stuff! That’s pretty much why he’s crazy. He overdoses on pills.

Anyways, when I got to Ring Out’s 6-floor apartment complex, he lived on the very top floor, and I enjoy the exercise so I decided to use the SHTAIRS. Shtairs, shtairs, shtairs! Once I got to Ring Out’s condo, he let me in and I explained to him about the comic book I needed. His apartment was filled with snow-globes. He offered me one as I was explaining my request. “So you see, Mister Ring Out, that’s why I need your today’s comic book. Your daughter needs it. You don’t mind, do you?”

“Not at all, boyo! It’s downstairs in my mailbox though down at the lobby.” Ring Out said.

“Shall we go get it?” I asked.

“If you’re willing to role me down the stairs.” Ring Out said. Oh, right, I forgot to mention, Ring Out is in a wheelchair.

“We can take the elevator.” I suggested.

“I don’t trust elevators. They break, fall, and paralyze ponies.” Ring Out said in a frightened tone.

I chuckled a bit. “That’s crazy, brah! Elevators are perfectly safe. They don’t… umm…” I looked down at his paralyzed legs and stopped talking. “How about you just give me your mailbox key and I’ll go get it?”

“I don’t trust anypony with my key.” Ring Out said. And so, I just pushed Ring Out outside and I started to carefully push him down the shtairs. It wasn’t easy. Even my magic wasn’t that strong………. Yet, but I’m not giving up, for Derpy’s sake and all. Meanwhile, Engie was on his job hunt, and he eventually found something he wanted to do: sell cleaning supplies door to door.

Engie knocked on a door and the pony on the other side opened it. “What?” Bon Bon asked.

Engie read out loud what he needed to say from a piece of paper. “Hello, sir or ma’am, how would you like to end your fight against stubborn stains? Half-circle, be sure to keep eye contact, half-circle.” Bonnie just shook her head.

Back with Ring Out and I, I was still attempting to get Ring Out down the shtairs, and while I was almost half-way down, he said, “I have to poop.”

“What? But we’re almost half-way down the shtairs!” I complained.

“I have to poop!” Ring Out said again but more excited. I just shook my head and dragged him back up the shtairs so he can do his business.

“I really hope I don’t have to wipe you.” I mumbled to myself.

“My legs don’t work but my ears do, buddy.” Ring Out complained.

Back with Engie and Bonnie over at her house, Engie was showing her how the cleaning supplies work, starting off with the windows. “Ya obviously do a good job cleanin’, judgin’ by yer room.” Engie said, commenting on Bonnie’s pig sty of a house. “But the Bright Time cleanin’ system will make yer time easier plus save ya time, time ya would be usin’ to bake casserole, or have tea with yer lady friends.”

“So you think that whole body can clean that whole window?” Bonnie asked.

Engie starts reading the label. “This… one bottle… can clean all… the windows in your house / apartment / trailer / stable.”

“Now this is something I gotta see.” Bonnie nodded.

“Sure thing, partner!” Engie said as he started cleaning the windows in Bonnie’s house. Bonnie just walked over to her couch and sat down. She took a nice mischievous smirk at Engie before turning on TV.

Back with Ring Out and I, we just got back up the stairs after- that’s right I said ‘stairs’ right this time. So we just got back up the shtairs (ah dangit) after we finally picked up the magazine from his mailbox. “Send Derpy my regards.” Ring Out requested. I took out my phone to check on the time and it was 11:58.

“Actually, I don’t think I’ll be able to see her today.” I said. “Visiting hours end at noon. I have to get an earlier start tomorrow, and be sure, when I come back tomorrow for a fresh new magazine, make sure you have all your business done before I go half-way down the shtairs.”

“I’ll see what I can do. I’m not exactly running the show.” Ring Out said. So I went back to my shop and decided to try again the next day.

Back with Engie and Bonnie, Bonnie was polishing her hoof nails and Engie was still cleaning the windows. After he cleans all the windows in her house, he goes over to Bonnie and asks as he takes out his clipboard, “Ma’am, would you like the… deluxe, the half-deluxe, or the mini-deluxe pack?”

“Sorry, honey, but I’m a bit tight on cash right now and my windows already look so great so, I’ll have to pass, but thanks anyway.” Bonnie nodded with a fake smile.

“Oh… umm… ok.” Engie said as he writes on his clipboard. “Thanks anyway.” He picks up his cleaning supplies and leaves Bonnie’s house.

“Congratulations on the new job though, Engie.” Bonnie said. After Engie left, Bonnie chuckled to herself mischievously and continued her hoofnails. Engie decided to quit his new job and find something else after that. I felt bad for him. Neither of us had a good day today, but we’re hoping it would get better by tomorrow. I woke up at 8 AM the next day, which is pretty early for me. I haven’t gotten up at 8 AM since college! I needed to get a head start if I wanted to see Derpy on time, so I hurried over to Ring Out’s house to get a fresh new magazine. I pushed him down the stairs and I pushed him back up after I got the magazine, and a whole hour an a half went by during my trip to Cloudsdale, up and down the stairs and then finding the Muffin Top Bakery down the clouded street, or whatever they have up there.

When I got to Muffin Top bakery, I went inside and rang the bell on the counter. I felt I was in the clear after this, but unfortunately a new obstacle came up. There was such a long line at over here. “Hey buddy, end of the line! Wait your turn like everypony else!” one of the pegasi complained.

“Oh sigh! Is there a fastpass or something?” I complained.

“Get back there, bucko!” the pony yelled at me.

“Whoa! Watch your language, brah! I’ll bring dat Mareami heat down on you!” I yelled at him.

“Nuh uh. There ain’t no fighin’ goin’ on in ‘ere. Not under my watch, fool!” a big fat Pegasus mare yelled out. “Back of the line, unicorn. Wait your turn.”

“Sigh.” I said as I walked to the end of the line and waited my turn. “I swear, I’m gonna explode more than the time I competed in that talent show!”

We flashback to a few weeks ago to show the Ponyville Talent Show, and yes this is a cutaway gag too. “Alright everypony, let’s give a big round of applause to Flare Gun!” the host introduced me in the background. The audience cheered as I walked on stage with a bunch of chickens and I was carrying a six-pack of ciders. I open all six cans and then I drink them all in one gulp. The audience cheered and the judges all gave me 10s. “And we have our winner!” the host cried out.

“No wait! That wasn’t the trick! I was supposed to be juggling these chickens!” I cried out. “Why can’t I have anything?!” The cutaway ends.

Anyways, while I was trying to get those muffins, Engie thought of trying a new partition to help him find what he was looking for, so he’s working as an assistant over at the Ponyville Hospital. “Now, Red Engineer, you ready for our first patient you’re going to be helping me out on?” Doctor Horse asked.

“Ready as ah’ll ever be, which usually means never.” Engie said.

“Excellent! Follow me inside.” The doctor instructed him as they both entered a room with a big hairy pony inside.

“This here is Hairy Harry; they are prepping him for surgery.” The doctor said.

“So what do ya need me to do, doc? Check his blood pressure? Check his heart-beat? Beat a hammer on his knee?” Engie asked.

“No.” the doctor said as he took out a razor. “You need to shave him.”

Engie became silent for a moment and had a grossed out look on his face. “Jeez, if ah wanted to shave ponies, ah could’ve been a barber or a serial killer. So where do I shave, his face? Ah never shaved another pony’s face before. One time, ah saw Foot Loose’s wife do it in that movie where the cool sweat hog can break mirrors with his brains, it looked easy. Uh, the shaving the sweat hog’s face, not the breakin’ mirrors with his brains, they did that with trick cartography.”

“Oh no, you’re not shaving his face, you’re shaving his back.” The doctor corrected him as Hairy Harry turned over to his back and saw all the disgusting hair that this pony had.

“Ah’m out.” Engie said as he threw the razor aside and walked out.

Back at Muffin Tops, I was still waiting in line to buy some muffins. When I finally got to the counter, I said to the Pegasus on the other side, “I’ll take a supreme box please.”

“What’s your number?” the pony behind the counter asked.

“My number is 555-“ I started.

“No, not your phone number. You need to pick a number from the labeler over there.” The pony pointed to the labeler near the front entrance.

“Then I can come back to you, right?” I asked.

“Sir, there are customers have been waiting here for an hour already. You have to wait in line again.” The pony said. I looked back and I saw the line was even longer than ever.

“Forty-five degree angle mouth face.” I said as I shook my head. So I went to the labeler, got the label, and I went back in line. I took out my cell phone and gave Dinky a call.

“Look, I know Ditzy wants muffins, but do they have to be from Muffin Top?” I asked Dinky. “You’re right, Dinky. Ditzy deserves the perfect day. I’ll get right on it. Alright talk to you later! Bye.” After I hung up, I started waiting in line for over an hour, but after a little while, I was finally able to get up to the counter and place my order. “Ok, I got a number.” I said to the pony behind the counter. “Now can I have the supreme box, please?”

“Sure, that’ll be 10 bits.” The pony from behind the counter said. I gave him the money and I picked up the muffins, and I gotta say, they smell delicious! Now that I’m finally done here, I can go pick up Geri from the Ponyville Retirement Village. So I was about to walk out, but for safe keepings I wanted to check the time, and as luck would have it, it was 11:58.

“OH FOR WIZARD OF HOPE’S SAKE!” I cried out in anger. “That’s twice this happened! UGH! GROANS!” I was so angry that I threw the whole box of muffins from afar. The muffins went through the clouds and started falling from Cloudsdale and down towards Earth.

Later that night, I met up with my friends at the Cider Bar and tried to ease the pain I’ve been having these last couple of days. “I don’t understand, brahs! I woke up early today, but time still had the best of me!”

“Calm down, man. You can try again tomorrow.” Blaze said.

“I know, but now I’ll have to get an even earlier start tomorrow. I have to go back to Ring Out’s and get a new magazine, wait in line at Muffin Top’s again, and I still need to go to Geri’s house to pick him up.”

“Ah hear ya, partner. Ah still can’t find mah meanin’ of life.” Engie said.

“How was your job today, Engie?” I asked.

“I had to shave a stallion’s back today!” Engie complained.

“Wow, if you wanted to shave, you could’ve been a barber or a serial killer.” Blaze said.

“That’s what ah said!” Engie yelled.

“Well…” Crystal started as she was nibbling on a muffin. “You might’ve all had a bad day today, but an awesome thing happened to me today! A whole box of muffins fell from the sky and landed next to me on a park bench! These are delicious! I gotta say, Faust is thanking me for something.”

“Well anyways, I hope you all got me something for my birthday this weekend. Pinkie Pie is really going to give me this awesome party Saturday night at the park, under the stars. She really understands me.” Psyche said.

“She understands all of us, mate. She understands all of us.” Aqua nodded his head and said.

“Well, ah did find this job for science tomorrow. Science! That could be meanin’ of life.” Engie said excitedly.

“I think your meaning of life should be sticking to a job for more than one day.” Psyche teased.

“Ah’d yell at you right now, but it’s almost yer birthday so ah’ll letchya off the hook this time.” Engie said to him. “And besides, maybe science will give me a sign, like a glowin’ light. Not like a glowin’ light for an alien abduction, but like a Heaven light.”

“I doubt it, dude.” Blaze said.

“Anyways Engie, what happened to your cleaning business? Bonnie told me you were pretty good. You should help me out with my house.” Crystal requested.

“Well, ah’m hopin’ mah meanin’ of life would have somethin’ to do with…. Uhhh…” Engie read out loud from the newspaper article. “Everchangin’ landscape of cosmetic testin’.”

“Maybe I can give you a few pointers on that, Engie.” Psyche offered.

“Oh here we go. The long talk.” Engie said with an annoyed tone.

“Uhh… you could always say no, Engie.” Psyche suggested.

The next day arrived and I woke up at 7 AM and got ready for my loooooooooong trip ahead. My fish were even a bit surprised. “Wow, Flare’s been getting a head start lately.” Rainbow said.

“I know! It’s like the middle of the night right now!” Dorthey complained.

“I second that. I’m not used to being fed this early.” Piddles said, still laying down on the rocks on the bottom.

Yoyo was swimming around the top, catching all the flakes I sprinkled in. “Me neither and I’m the big eater here.” He said with his mouth full of flakes.

“I swear if he keeps waking up this early, I’m moving back in with back guy with the annoying cat.” Piddles complained.

A cutaway shows a random pony in his house using his computer, but as he was typing, his cat starts stepping on the keyboard, messing up what he’s typing as well as blocking his view. “No kitty!” he complained. When the pony was eating some cereal for breakfast in his kitchen, the cat comes and he starts stepping on his cereal, splattering it all over. “No kitty!” he complained again. Later while the pony was riding in his carriage, the cat was blocking his view by standing on his head and scratching on his face. “No kitty!” his last words were before he fell off a cliff by driving out of control. In the coffin where the pony’s lifeless body was, the cat was still scraping on his face. “No kitty!” the dead pony complained. Even when the pony’s body was buried in the ground and his skin already decayed and all was left was bones, the cat was still alive and scraping on his skull. “No kitty!” the skeleton complained once more. The cutaway ends.

Anyways after I got ready extra early, I went to Ring Out’s house and dragged him up and down the stairs to get the magazine, and right after I went to Muffin Top’s, picked up a number, and waiting in the long line to get the muffins. Took me four hours to do all this, as well as get to the Ponyville Retirement Village to pick up Geri, as much as every other chore I had to do upon this request, getting him wasn’t easy. “So you wanna take Geri to visit the hospital for a chess match with Derpy Hooves?” the pony behind the counter at the lobby asked.

“Well first off, I need a chess board. The hospital doesn’t have any so I’ll have to borrow one until noon.” I said.

“Well, there’s a waiting period because all the seniors here are using the current chessboards.” The receptionist said. I took a quick peek over at the lounge area to see that all the senior citizens were using all the chessboards. Now, I know what you’re thinking. I could’ve just bought a chessboard, but you think it’s that simple? Before I came here, I called Dinky, and she said Geri will only use the chessboards from the retirement place because that’s when Geri knows they’re not germy. He knows what the chessboards look like so he’s no fool, and he can tell if I disguised one, so Dinky said, so I have to wait for the next chessboard to become available. I waiting for over an hour for the next chessboard to become available. I was starting to get a bit impatient, but all the oldsters here, it felt like they weren’t even playing but just were staring at the board. I once saw a senior pick a piece very slowly and I started to get a little excited because we’re finally going somewhere, but the senior placed the piece back down on the exact spot and shook his head.

“SIGH!” I cried out.

“Eh, what was that, sonny?” one of the senior ponies asked as he placed a hearing aid on his ear.

“You know, you can always sign up for a board and which time you want to play it, and no matter what, you’ll get to take it with you.” One of the senior ponies suggested as she pointed to the sign-up sheet.

“Wow, why didn’t I see that?” I asked annoyingly to myself. I went up to the sign-up sheet so I can get a chessboard when I want to, but before I signed, I checked the clock and it was 11:59. “UGH! GROANS, SIGHS, HOLY WIZARDS OF HOPE, STRENGTH, AND FEELINGS! SHTAIRS!” I cried out in anger.

“What was that, dearie?” one of the senior mares asked as she placed a hearing aid on her ear. As disappointed I was with my day, Engie was more disappointed in his new career in science. No, Engie was not a scientist, despite what you may think; he has a masters in engineering, that doesn’t make him a scientist. We don’t call him doctor, but we do have a doctor in our group: Psyche, he has a PHD in astronomy science.

Over at the lab where they hang posters of animals on the wall that reads ‘we do not test on animals’, Engie was in the testing room, attached to a chair, awaiting what he needs to be tested on. “Ready to get started?” a scientist asked.

“Ah guess.” Engie said.

The scientist takes out a tray full of strange powder and then blows it all over Engie’s face. Engie started to feel strange, and everything was so blurry to him. He felt like he was looking in a kaleidoscope. “You can go home now.” The scientist said in an echoy voice, and then everything started to go pitch-black. “Be sure to call us when you get your sight back.”

“Much obliged, doctor.” Engie said as he stood up from his chair, all blind.

“Oh, I’m no doctor.” The ‘scientist’ said. He then turns to the pony behind the safety glass and said as he chuckled, “Hey, Crest, this guy just called me doctor!” As Engie was trying to walk out of the place, he banged onto the safety glass and collapsed on the ground. “Ooo, dear!” the ‘scientist’ said surprisingly.

Later the night, I found Engie wondering around on the street blindly, running into random objects, including the cactus stand, the sea urchin stand, and Fluttershy’s ‘Adopt a Porcupine’ stand. After I helped him remove the thorns from his face, I walked him home. “Ah don’t think ah like the cosmetic world of science, Flare.” Engie said with his arms out, making sure he doesn’t run into anything else. “It’s no fun bein’ blind. Why is Steven Wonder always smilin’. Maybe he can’t see he isn’t smilin’. Am ah smilin’, partner?”

“No, Engie, you’re not smiling. Even though I’d like a smile right now.” I complained as I walked him into his house, but once we got inside, his security system activated.

“Security alert in progress. Access is limited for the time being. We thank you for your patience.” The AI said as the alarm activated and I ended up being trapped in an electrified net. I started making weird noises with my lips as I was being electrocuted by the net.

“Flare?! Flare what’s goin’ on? What’s happenin’?” Engie asked.

“Sec-sec-sec-sec-secur… sys-sys-sys-sys-um ON!” I studdered.

“Oh the electrified net. Oh that’s a nasty one. Here, let me disable the security system for ya.” Engie said as he walked over to his light switches and started turning them on and off.

“Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-HOW DO-DO-DOES THAT HEL-hel-HELP!?” I studdered.

“Relax, ah’m just pressin’ the code to disable the net. Just gimmie a minute.” Engie said as he kept turning on and off the lights by pressing the switches. It took Engie a while to find the actual keypad to disable the system, but I was already fried up. Somehow, what I said didn’t seem as delicious as it sounds. So Engie and I were both sitting on his couch. He was still blind, and I was pretty crispy. I prefer median-rare though.

“Hey, Flare, can ya hand me the wanted ads? Ah want to read it and find somethin’ new to find my purpose.” Engie asked. Was he really being serious when he asked that? Well regardless, I handed him the ads. He grabbed the ads and started to ‘read’ them. As I was standing next to him, Engie yelled like he thought I was in the next room, “Hey, Flare!? Can ya read this for-“

“No I’m not gonna read to you, Engie. I have to get up at the crack of dawn tomorrow. I have my own problems I need to take care.” I said as I walked to the other room to get myself a drink.

“At least ya have your sight.” Engie complained as was still facing the direction I was standing at.

“Engie, the only reason you’re getting a job right now is to be more independent.” I said as Engie looked at my direction after I spoke. “I’m pretty sure later somepony’s gonna have to help you use the lavatory and that ain’t gonna be me.”

“Me neither.” Spike said.

“Flare, why didn’t ya tell me Spike was ‘ere?” Engie asked.

“I didn’t even know.” I said. “Look, Engie, why don’t you just accept the job working for me as a busboy?” I asked.

“But ah don’t wanna be a busboy, partner. Ah wanna have a purpose like you and yer friendships.” Engie said.

“Hey not everypony has a purpose, brah.” I said. “If they can contribute and pull their own weight they are bound to have something soon.”

Engie sighs. “Alright, ah’ll be a busboy.”

“Good!” I yelled out from the far-living room as Engie eventually looked at my direction.

As Engie just sat there and whistling to himself, there was a spot of powder on Engie’s face, and Spike wanted to wipe it off. As he did, Engie stood up from his seat all surprised and yelled, “Who’s there?! Spike was that you?! Don’t be playin’ tricks on me now!”

The next morning came, and I got up at 6 AM, which is still the middle of the night, for real this time, but I was confident that today is the day I give Derpy her good day! So like I’ve been doing, I went to Ring Out’s house and dragged him up and down the stairs getting the magazine, and then I waited through that long line at Muffin Top and got the muffins for Derpy, and then I went to the Ponyville Retirement Village to get the chessboard before anypony else can take them all. It took me a few hours to do all that. The only thing I have to do now is pick up Geri and head to the hospital by noon.

“Alright, Geri, c’mon sir. We have to get to the hospital by noon.” I said to the old pony.

“Okie dokie, sonny-boy.” Geri said.

“Wait! You have to take his drops.” The nurse stopped me and said.

“What?” I asked.

“His eyedrops. You have to put drops in his eyes or else they’ll dry out and the lids will stick to the eyeballs. You don’t wanna see that.” The nurse explained. “His watch has a timer, and it’ll remind you. Oh and by the way, he hates it so… good luck!” the nurse immediately shuts the door in front of me. And so, Geri and I were on our way to the hospital with the donuts and magazine. I really thought today was the last day I’d be doing all this, but… unfortunately, yet another obstacle came up. Geri’s timer went off and he shut it off quickly but I still heard it.

“Does that mean it’s time for your drops?” I asked.

“No!” Geri said frighteningly.
“I think that means it’s time for your drops.” I nodded.

“No it doesn’t!” Geri argued with me. I immediately stood in front of him, stopping him from walking. “AAH! Roadblock!”

“C’mon, Geri, you have to take your drops or else you’ll dry up.” I explained.

“I don’t like ‘em.” Geri said.

“I know, just gimmie your head.” I instructed him as I was about to hold his head and put the drops in his eyes, but he dodges me.

“I don’t wanna!” Geri whined.

“Gimmie your head.” I demanded in a high-pitched voice.

“No!” he yelled.

“You’re gonna make me wrestle you, aren’t you?” I asked.

“Yes.” Geri said.

“Sigh.” I said as I shook my head. “Alrighty then. Let’s do this!” And so I startled wrestling Geri for his own good, and for my own good too, and probably everypony’s own good. Nopony wants to see those eyelids. I was making a scene trying to put the drops in Geri’s eyes but no one did anything to stop me because they know how old ponies are. After so much time for trying to put the drops in his eyes, I was finally able to get it done.

Geri started blinking and said, “Oh… thank you, sonny!”

“No prob.” I said in an annoyed tone. Once I looked at my phone to see the time, OH, BIG SURPRISE! 11:58! All that for nothing! I started to get pretty aggervated, but eventually I took Geri back home, kept the magazine for myself to read later in the lavatory, and I gave the muffins to the schoolhouse as a special treat, and then I went back to my shop. The first thing I did was check up on Engie.

“Hey, Engie! How’s your first day on the job?” I asked.

“It was amazin’, Flare! Yer right! Workin’ here is fun! Ah’m makin’ money, ah love the smell of pizza, ah’m startin’ to think this is mah purpose in life.” Engie said. “Ah mean, ah’m helpin’ ponies. Nopony can eat here if there are plates still on the tables. Ah mean, they can, but it would be kinda gross. Hey, maybe mah purpose is to make things less crowded and less gross.”

“It’s too bad. You did a great job on my windows.” Bonnie said.

“Well, I’m proud of you brah!” I nodded.

“So how was the hospital?” Engie asked.

“Didn’t go. Sad face. Looks like I’ll have to be waking up another hour earlier tomorrow.” I said.

“Hey, if it’s not too bad, maybe ah can take the day off tomorrow and help ya out.” Engie offered.

“Sounds good to me, brah, but we’ll have to wake up EXTRA early tomorrow.” I said.

“How early?” Engie asked.

“I suggest you stay with me for the night.” I suggested. The next day came and it was 5 AM, I’m being serious, it’s still the middle of the night! Engie was sleeping in my guest bedroom and I had to wake him up because there was no alarm clock in there. “Wakie, wakie, hooves off snakie.”

“Wha?” Engie asked as he yawned. “Mah hooves aren’t on- AAAAAAH!” he screamed as there was a live snake in his bed, hissing.

“I left him there just in case you’d be too lazy to wake up.” I said to Engie, and then I gave the snake some money and said, “Thanks, Snakie!”

“No problem, Flare!” the snake said as he sssssssizzled out of my house. The first place Engie and I went to was Ring Out’s place and dragged him up and down the stairs to get the magazine. This seemed easier than I thought because Engie offered to help me carry his wheelchair. When we got to Muffin Top, little did I know that Engie was friends with the manager so we were able to cut the line and bought our muffins right away. When we got to the retirement home, we got that chessboard, and then we picked up Geri and took him to the hospital with us. To help out with eyedrops situation, there was two of us to wrestle Geri down to make sure he takes his eyedrops; one of us to hold him down and one of us to put the drops in. Engie was stronger than me since he’s an earth pony so he held him down.

Once we got to the hospital, I checked the time and it was only 6:30 AM. “It’s only 6:30 AM, Engie! Visiting hours don’t start till 7!” I said as we went up to the counter and gave the security pony behind the desks our IDs so we can get our nametags and be able to see Derpy.

“Why did we have to wake up so early?” Engie asked. “It wasn’t hard.”

“Because the four days I wasn’t able to get these errands done without you, only took me an hour and a half to get done WITH you!” I said.

“Ah’m sorry.” Engie said upsettingly.

“No, dude, it means I need you!” I said.

“It does?” Engie asked as he began to smile.

“Yeah! I shouldn’ve told you to get that job, bro. I think your meaning of life is helping friends out in their time of need. It’s similar to the meaning that I have.” I explained.

“Really?” Engie asked.

“Yeah! I don’t need you as a busboy, brah. Just do what you love and then if any of us needs you we can just call you and you can come to the rescue!” I explained.

“Yeah, yer right, Flare.” Engie nodded. “Ah mean this is far better than pickin’ up wadded up napkins with gross stuff in them.” Just then, a beam of light started shinning from one of the hospital windows and aimed directly onto Engie’s face. Engie started to get surprised. “Oh my announcer, Flare! The light! This is mah purpose! AAAH! Sun in mah eye!” he cried out. “But… it’s all worth it. Thank you, Flare!” Engie and I both smiled at eachother and then shortly after, Geri’s timer started beeping again. Geri started to limp away but we stopped him so we can put the drops in his eyes again.

“Grab his hooves, I’ll pry his eyes open.” I instructed Engie.

“AAAH NO! STOP!” Geri cried.

“C’mon, Geri, you have to take the drops.” I said to him.

“NEVER!” Geri yelled. And so, I called up my employees as well as my friends to meet us at the hospital to see Derpy, and judging by the results, she had a pretty good day. She enjoyed the magazine, she enjoyed the muffins, and she enjoyed playing chess with Geri. It was almost time to go, but Derpy wanted to say one last thing to me.

“Flare, thank you so much for all this. This is one of the kindest things anypony has ever done.” Derpy said happily with tears in her eyes.

“Actually, Ditzy, most of this credit goes to my friend Engie here. If it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’ve been able to do this.” I said.

“Thanks, Engie!” Derpy said.

“No prob, Derpy! Anytime!” Engie said. “Now there’s still one more thing we need to do.”

All of us took put on some birthday hats and took out some blowers and after we blew on the blowers we yelled, “Surprise! Happy birthday, Psyche!”

“My birthday isn’t for another three days.” Psyche said.

“I know, but we’re running out of time for this chapter so… blow out the candles!” I said as I took out a big cake with 22 candles on it.

“I’m 23, guys, not 22.” Psyche corrected us.

“Take it as a compliment, dude. We called you younger.” Crystal said.

“Plus, I am lactose intolerance. I can’t eat this.” Psyche added.

“It’s soy frosting.” Blaze said.

“Plus, did you know my eyes are sensitive to fire?” Psyche asked. Crystal placed a pair of 2009 sunglasses on his eyes.

“It’s 2012.” Psyche corrected us.

“Quit complainin’ and blow out the candles already!” Engie demanded. Psyche thought to himself and then he blew out the candles.

“Yay!” Psyche cheered. “Uh oh, I only got 5 seconds.” Psyche runs out of the room and he comes back with a hammer and some nails and then he hammers the nails on a chair in the room and then he sits on it, holding onto the sides, and then suddenly, everypony in the room, including most of the objects immediately ‘fall’ onto the ceiling. “HA! No gravity!” he said mischievously. “Spoilers: I’m going to the moon next chapter so good practice!”

Author's Note

Yes it is true, this used to be a Family Feud chapter but now I changed it and this is a completely new chapter for the story! Since I didn't give Engie his own chapter in Book 1, I decided to give him one. If watch My Name is Earl, you can tell this chapter is based off an episode on that.

Moon Chips

It was the middle of the night, around 8:00 PM, it was dark. Mister Psyche Illution, one of my best friends, but my least favorite of best friends, was at a Canterlot observatory, talking to Princess Luna.

"Thank you, Princess Luna!" Psyche started. "This place would work perfectly for my studies!"

"Thou welcome, Psyche!" Luna said. "A friend of Flare's is a friend of mine! Feel free to use it as much as you want!"

"Thanks, Princess!" Psyche said. “I really appreciate this. This is more of an opportunity to me than the time I went to that club full of supermodels.”

A cutaway shows Psyche walking into a club for a beautiful pony supermodels. A mare walks up to Psyche and says, “Hey big boy!”

“Hello, beautiful!” Psyche said as he was walking towards her.

“I’m open for you taking a picture with me while I-“ the model said but gets cut off after Psyche walks passed her and towards the Complimentary Breakfast Buffet.

“Oh snap, baby! You’re lookin good!” Psyche said to the buffet. The cutaway ends.

"So do thou need anything, Psyche Illution?” Luan asked.

"Nah, I'm good." Psyche said.

"Good night, loyal subject!" Luna said as she flies out of the observatory.

"Okay! This is great!" Psyche said to himself. "A whole observatory all to myself! I never thought I'd see the day. I have my books, my research, and of course the replica of the solar system for safe keepings.” Psyche takes out his solar system model and places it next to the big telescope with his stuff. “My research is going to make me famous! Now let's see what we can see in the sky. Hmm.... that's weird. Why is the sky red? And I see a big line....." Psyche looks at the other end of the telescope and sees me sitting on the other end. "FLARE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

"Oh hi! Lion face." I said

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP THERE?!" he yelled.

"I was going around Canterlot, finding a location to expand my shop, and then I happened to notice that Princess Luna let you borrow the observatory! Am I right?" I asked.
"Yes. But I'm trying to use this observatory for a reason." Psyche said.

"Enjoying the view of the full moon? LAWL!" I teased.

"Get down." He demanded. I jumped off the telescope and walked over to Psyche. I then went through his sattlebag and took out Spike.

"I bought Spike along too!" I said.

"Hi!" Spike said.

"Why?" Psyche asked.

"Because he wanted to." I said.

"I couldn't breathe in there." Spike said.

"No, I mean why are you here?" Psyche asked.

"I wanted to come visit my old pal Psyche!" I said as I placed my arm around him.

"That’s very nice of you, really.” Psyche said as he removed my hoof from him. “But I need to continue my research.”

"Sorry brah." I said. "So what are you studying?"

"I came here to study the planets." Psyche said, looking through the telescope and taking notes. "I heard they are forming a line for something, for some reason. I'm trying to find out what it is."

"Oh really?" I asked.

"Yes, really." Psyche said.

"What did you find out so far?" I asked.

"So far, nothing. I just got here." Psyche said.

"So did I! And I sure noticed something." I said.

"What?" Psyche asked.

"That you saw a big red full moon earlier! HA!” I chuckled.

"You said that joke already." Psyche said.

“Problem?” I asked.

"Well, the same joke won't be able to be funny twice." Psyche said.

"It can. It's all about timing, brah!" I said.

"Well it's TIME for me to work." Psyche said.

"Go ahead! Nopony's stopping you!" I said as I popped up in front of Psyche.

"That means I have to concentrate." Psyche said.

"Of course!" I said as I got closer to Psyche's face with a creepy smile.

"That means you have to get outta my face." Psyche added.

"But I'm not in your face. I'm close to your face.” I corrected him.

"Look dude, seriously. I have work to do." Psyche said.

"How about taking a break?" I asked.

"I just got here!" Psyche said.

"Your point?" I asked.

"That was my point." Psyche said. "Look, how about you go.... give this scroll to Princess Luna for me?" he reaches inside his satchel to get a scroll out and he gives it to me.

"Sure, but did I need to tell you something first.” I said.

“What is it?” Psyche asked.

“You know how astronomers say that other planets are uninhabitable?” I asked.

“Yeah, why?” Psyche asked.

“Ok, the death total on Mercury: 0. The death total on Venus: 0. The death total on Earth: over a billion. Death total on Mars: 0. Death total on Jupitor-“ I explained.

“Ok I get it.” Psyche interrupted me.

“Even the sun is safer than Earth! Who’s the uninhabitable planet now? Huh?” I asked.

“Just deliever the scroll, please.” Psyche asked.

"Huh? Oh I did that already.” I said.

“Really?” Psyche asked.

“Really really!” I nodded.

“I know; I can’t believe it either.” Spike said.

"How can you be done?” Psyche asked.

"Uhh… is that a rhetorical question?” I asked.

Psyche gave himself a facehoof and said. "Okay. How about this? Go to the....."

"ON IT!" I yelled.

"No, no, listen to me." Psyche stopped me. "I want you to....."

"RIGHT AWAY!" I yelled.

"LISTEN TO ME!" Psyche yelled.

"Kay." I said.

"I.... want you.... to go to the...." Psyche started.

"YES SIR!" I yelled.

Psyche then started to steam. "GO-TO-THE-BACK-ROOM-AND-FIND-ME-A-MAP-OF-NEPTONIA!" he said really fast.

"Neptonia? What's that?" I asked.

"A planet beyond our solar system." Psyche said. "Can you get that for me, buddy?" I didn't say anything. I just stared at him with a blank expression on my face. "You can respond now."

"CAPIEESH!" I yelled, and then I ran into the back room to look for the map.

"Ha!" Psyche said to himself. "That'll keep him busy for a while. That planet doesn't exist." Psyche looks through the telescope again and takes notes on what he sees, but then Spike came up to him.

"Uh, Psyche?" he said.

Psyche sighed, then turned to Spike. "What is it Spike?" he asked.

"I'm hungry." Spike said.

"There are snacks in the fridge over there by the break area." Psyche pointed.

"Thank you!" Spike said as he walks over to the fridge, opens it, and looks through it. "Psyche, do you have any gems?"

"No." Psyche said.

"Well that's what I'm in the mood for." Spike said.

"Well I'm sorry." Psyche said in a grumpy tone.

"Do you have any lava juice?" Spike asked.

"No." Psyche said.

"How about mashed rocks?" Spike asked.

"No." Psyche said.

"Unmashed rocks?"

"No."

"Prehistoric bones?"

"No."

"Mine ore?"

"No!" Psyche said a little louder.

"Ice cubes?"

"Actually, yes. There are ice cubes in the ice tray in the freezer." Psyche said as Spike walks back to the fridge and opens the freezer and sees the tray of ice cubes. He eats them all in one bite. You know ice cubes are bad for your teeth? I mean, I’m not sure if that rule applies for a dragon but it sure does on a pony…. And a human being like you. Unless you’re a dog on the internet.

"Got any more?" Spike asked.

"No, you ate them all." Psyche said.

"What else do you have that's cold and hard?" Spike asked.

"HA!” I laughed from the back room.

"There are chocolate bars in the fridge. You can have ONE. Don't eat them all." Psyche instructed him, but Spike was already eating all the chocolate bars.

"I'm sorry, what?" Spike asked with his mouth full. Psyche gave out a loud groan and slammed his head on his desk, but he continued with his studies.

"Wow!" Psyche said to himself. "The moon looks great tonight! The universe is fantastic! You know, I wish there was some way for me to go up to the moon, just once, just try it."

“Hey Psyche?” I asked.

"What is it now?" Psyche asked.

"I found Neptonia!" I said as I held up a book and a map.

"What? But.... that's not a real....” Psyche decided not to say it because he just can’t win with me. That’s my super power, you know? I’m really good at winning arguments! “Thank you, Flare."
"No problemo brah!" I said with a smile. "Anything else you need help with?"

"How about keepin it quiet so I can work?" Psyche asked.

"Alright! I know I could've done it earlier if you asked! Winky face." I teased him. Psyche huffed out a loud sigh. "Hey you said something about going to the moon right?"

"Yeah I wish I could go to the moon." Psyche said. "Too bad I don’t have a rocket.”

“Can’t you just ask Celestia to take you? It’s not much to ask for. She did it before on her sister.” I suggested.

“WITH the Elements of Harmony though.” Spike added.

"Yeah whatever." I said.

"You think she knows a spell for that?” Spike asked.

“Besides, what makes you think she’ll do it?” Psyche asked.

"How about me? I know magic! Teleporting powers go!" I yelled out as I tried to activate my horn, but it wouldn't even spark. "Oh that's right, I don't know that spell. Maybe I'll go talk to Twilight."

"No don't bother. I don't think even her magic is strong enough to travel to the moon, dude." Psyche informed me.

"So if you want to travel to the moon so much, why not BUILD a rocket or something?" I asked.

"Flare, I don’t think- Wait a minute." Psyche thought to himself for a moment. It’s too bad I don’t know what he’s thinking about, otherwise I’d type it down. "That's actually not a bad idea, oh but wait, do we have the necessary parts for it?”

"Took you that long to figure it out?" I asked.

“Doesn’t Mareami have a Lunar Space Center? Why not I just go to Mareami?” Psyche asked.

I was actually quite surprised when he said that. “NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!”

“Why not?” Psyche asked.

“You… you forgot 6 more ‘why nots’ because I said ‘no’ 7 times.” I pointed out.

“Why don’t we go to Mareami then?” Psyche asked.

“Not ready to return home yet!” I said with a frightening tone.

“Who said you were going?” Psyche asked.

“Trust me, I believe it’s a bad idea for you to go there too, not at this time.” I said.

“Ok fine, whatever. We’ll try to build one, but how can we do that?” Psyche asked.

“Leave that to me… to call Engie for assistance, and then leave it to him!” I said.

“If you say so, man.” Psyche said.

“Oh boy, this is going to be more fun than seeing Crystal hosting a cooking show!” I said excitedly.

A cutaway shows Cooking Time with Crystal, with our host: Crystal Iceblast! The audience cheers for her as she stands behind a counter on the kitchen stage. “Hello, and welcome to Cooking Time with Crystal! My name is Crystal Iceblast, and today I’m going to show you how to make any type of food taste good. Right here, we have bowl full of steamed broccoli, every child’s worst enemy, but I have a way to make this broccoli taste good. Everypony say ‘how Crystal’!”

“How Crystal?!” the audience cried out as Crystal places her hoof on her ear, listening to the crowd.

“It’s simple! All you have to do is go into your spice cabinet.” Crystal started as she walked towards the spice cabinet and opened it. “Open it up, take out the salt shaker, walk back to the broccoli, and just add some salt inside.” Crystal did so. “After you’re finished shaking some salt in, you have to do one other thing; everypony say, ‘what other thing’!”

“What other thing?!” the audience cried out as Crystal places her hoof on her ear, listening to the crowd.

“I’m so very glad you asked! The answer is quite simple – MORE SALT!” Crystal said as she keeps shaking the salt on the broccoli. “And more salt, and more salt, AND MORE SALT!” Crystal yelled in a maniac tone. “Just keep shaking until you’re satisfied! I guarantee, it’ll taste delicious! Just don’t shake until a lethal dose! Anyways, that was Cooking Time with Crystal! Everypony have a great night!” the audience started cheering.

The logo pops up on Crystal’s face and the TV announcer said, “That was Cooking Time with Crystal!”

“Hey, get this logo out of my face! I can’t breathe!” Crystal yelled and started choking. She kept choking until she fainted and collapsed on the ground with the logo falling behind her. The cutaway ends.

So I called up the members of the Noble Six and we waited for them to show up. It took a couple of hours because they were all still in Ponyville. Hey did you know that Ponyville’s original name was going to be Fillydelphia but they scratched it and it became only a mentionable town? It’s true! Look it up! I’d give you the link, but I’m too lazy to, so look it up yourself. When Engie, Crystal, Blaze, and Aqua finally showed up, we discussed the plan with them, and luckily for us, Engie already had some blueprints made.

"So what do you want us to do partner?" Engie asked.

"BUIIIIIIIIILD UHHHH ROOOOOOCK-IIIIIIIIT!" I yelled.

“YEAH-YUH!” Engie yelled back.

"What's the rocket for?" Crystal asked.

"We're going to the moon! Psyche and I!" I said as I placed my hoof around him.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Who said 'we' were going?" Psyche asked as he removed my hoof from behind him.

"I did." I said.

"Thanks, but no thanks." Psyche said. "I'd rather go on this trip on my own."

"But dude, I thought we were gonna be moon buddies?" I asked.

"Sorry, but you'll just get in the way." Psyche said.

“Wow, rude. You didn’t even say ‘no offense’ to Crystal.” I pointed out.

“Yeah, rude!” Crystal agreed.

“She wasn’t even talking.” Psyche said.

“It’s not just me right? Would you allow them to come along too?” I asked.

“No I wouldn’t.” Psyche admitted.

“It’s fine.” Aqua said. “I’m afraid of heights and I have a peanut allergy anyway.”

“Here, Aqua, have a Snickers.” Engie offered.

“Why?” Aqua asked.

“Ya get a little negative when you’re hungry.” Engie said as he gave Aqua the Snickers. “Better?”

“Noph.” Aqua said with a swollen up face.

"Kay, I see that you don’t want us to come over." I said to Psyche. "Then I guess you'll have no trouble building this entire ship by yourself, do you?"

"What, you're not gonna help me?" Psyche asked.

"You said, we’ll just get in the way. So, we’ll just go." I said.

Psyche gave himself a facehoof. "Okay, okay" he said. "You can join me in my moon trip."

"Happy face!" I cried out. "Alright, we’re gonna go to the moon! I just hope we don’t get lost on it. You know, just in case, I’m gonna bring Wooden Toaster and Living Tombstone with us. Anyways, you guys in?" I asked the others.

"No thanks, dude." Engie said. “Ah’m gonna be spendin’ the day tomorrow with mah mom.” A cutaway shows Engie sitting on a couch and watching cartoons with his robotic mom. “Wanna get somethin’ to eat?” he asked.

“I do not have a digestive system, nor do I have the logical urges to eat. It will melt my circuits and I will probably die.” Engie’s mom said.

“Wanna go swimmin’?” Engie asked.

“Electronics such as myself will not survive in water, especially if it’s chlorine. 8 out of 10 of electronics get destroyed by water every year and I will not go through that risk… honey-bunch.” Engie’s mom said.

“Wanna go see a movie?” Engie asked.

“Electronics do not have urges nor the emotion of entertainment, and they request electronics to be shut off during the movie anyway, and by the way, we are watching a movie right now. It saves us 80% of money towards electricity than buying an overpriced ticket along with overpriced popcorn.” Engie’s mom explained.

“Can we just sit here?” Engie asked.

“That is not logically possible, counting that I do not have legs, I have wheels, I cannot sit down.” Engie’s mom said.

“Then what do ya wanna do?” Engie asked.

“I have three choices in my system that can be possible. According to my research, number 1: mothers like to show the child’s friends embarrassing baby pictures of him / her. Number 2: They take their children to the mall for a long boring shopping day of buying clothes and houseware, and sometimes finding other moms at the mall and have a 3 hour conversation with them, and finally, number 3: they try to find a satisfying enough future spouce with a lot of money to support the in-law after retirement and is the same race as them.” Engie’s mom explained.

“Mom, why did ah build you?” Engie asked.

“Technically speaking since I am your mother, I… along with my husband, how you say… built you.” Engie’s mom said. The cutaway ends.

So the six of us started building the rocket piece by piece, and I gotta say…. This is super boring and super hard. Engineer started ogg by building a Dispenser that's full of parts. Psyche was putting parts in place while Blaze welds the parts in place with his fire breath, since he’s draconian and all. Aqua and Crystal were testing out the thrusters that go on the bottom. Aqua tells Crystal to go test the thrusters. So Crystal turns on the thrusters, but unaware that Aqua was still behind the thrusters and got hit by the flames, and he turned all black and crispy as he burnt up. Aqua glares at Crystal, and Crystal was wee bit embarrassed. I was using my magic to give Blaze and Psyche some pieces, but I wanted to be goofy and place a part over Blaze's head, so I released the piece from my grasp and it landed on Blaze's head, which bumped his head. Blaze got mad, bursted into flames and started chasing me around. Psyche gave himself a facehoof but at the same time he was entertained. Crystal, Psyche, and Aqua placed the thrusters under the rocket.

Engie and Crystal gave eachother mischievous looks, and started spraying logos and stuff all over the rocket. Psyche got angry and banged his head on the rocket after they did so. I offered Psyche a glass of lemonade because he seemed like he needed to cool off. Psyche smiled and drank it, but then he spit it out. I started laughing, and pointed to Blaze who was making a BBQ on a grill, and there was yellow grease that matches the ‘lemonade’ I gave him. There was a different way I wanted to provide this prank, but it seemed a little gross and too overkill so I decided to not go with it. See? See? I’m improving, aren’t I? Eventually, it was dawn of the day and WE were all standing outside looking at the freshly build rocket.

"She's a beauty all right! And she's mah beauty!" Engie said.

"Nope it's Psyche's beauty." Aqua said. "Well done Psyche! Ya did good! Ya did real good!"

"Hey I'm just glad you guys helped. Thanks." Psyche said. "So who wants to go to the moon with me? I know Aquatic and Engineer's out. Crystal?"

"Yeah I just remembered, my coltfriend wanted me to run some errands while I was in Canterlot. Sorry dude." Crystal said.

"Blaze?" Psyche asked.

"As much as I'd love to go, I can't." Blaze said. "The Wonderbolts are performing at the ground opening ceremony of the new stadium in Baltimare, and Spitfire really wants me to practice for it."

"So it's just you and me, buddy ol pal! Smiley face." I said as I placed my hoof around his neck again.

"Hurrah." Psyche said sarcastically.

"So who's gonna be ground control?" I asked.

"I guess we have time to do it." Blaze said. "Crystal? Engie?"

"Yeah, I'm down." Aqua said.

"Me too." Crystal said.

Engineer's helmet started floating a foot over his head. "Nope." he said as his neck stretched out to reach the helmet.

“How is that physically possible?” Aqua asked. And so, Psyche and I went to the closet of the observatory and found a couple of space suits. Psyche easily was able to fit in his, since he’s so short and skinny, but since I’m a big guy, it was difficult for me.

"This suit is too tight." I complained. "I want larger size."

"Too bad, it's all we got, buddy.” Psyche said.

"It's a good thing there's enough food in the fish feeder to keep the fish healthy for at least a week." I said. "How long were we gonna be on this trip again?"

“I don’t know; as long as it takes.” Psyche said.

“Do we have enough intergalactic laxatives with us?” I asked.

“Enough what now?” Psyche asked.

“Donovan sings a song about astronauts needing to use the lavatory inside their-“ I started but Psyche interrupted me.

“Ok, I really don’t wanna know about what Donovan says, alright?” Psyche asked with a disgusted tone. “The only thing I wanna know is… I dunno, let’s get on the rocket already.”

“What kind of thing you wanna know is that?” I asked. “Oh wait, before we get on the ship. We should hold onto our helmets on our arms and walk very slowly outside before we go on the rocket as heroic music appears in the background.”

“Uhh…” Psyche thought.

“It’ll be cool!” I added.

“Well… I do like cool stuff. Alright, let’s do it.” Psyche said.

“No time, the rocket is already preparin’ for launch. Head inside, heros!” Engie instructed us.

As Psyche and I started walking over to the rocket, I asked him, “How is flying up into space makes us heroes? Are we fighting alien life or something?”

“To be honest, that’s pretty much the only astronomy question I don’t know about. I think it has something to do with surviving the atmosphere.” Psyche said.

“Survive… wait survive? You mean there’s a risk?!” I cried out.

“Oh yes.” Psyche nodded. “The engines could fail while in the sky and then we’d be freefalling and fall to our death’s, but that’s not all, the rocket could blow up. Who knows what’ll happen?”

“Uhh… ok I’m scared now. I wanna get off.” I said.

“Sorry buddy, you’re already sitting down.” Psyche pointed out.

I looked down and I saw myself already strapped into the chair inside the rocket. “OH FOR WIZARD OF HOPE’S SAKE!” I yelled.

Psyche sighs and then talks through his radio. “Ground control, this is Psyche. We’re ready for take off.” he said.

“And we’re ready for nachos! Lion face.” I teased.

“Roger that Rocket 1, you are clear for take off.” Blaze said at ground control.

“Rocket 1? It’s the only rocket here.” Crystal pointed out.

“T-Minis 10, 9, 8….” Blaze started the countdown.

“45, 67, 99, 82….” Crystal teased, trying to confuse him.

“5, 66, 98…. STOP IT CRYSTAL!” Blaze yelled at her.

“HA SNAP!” Crystal laughed.

"3... 2... 1.... LIFT OFF!" Blaze said as the rocket engines activates and the rocket starts launching into the air.

"We have lift off!" Aqua cried out in excitement.

"Wait. Weren't they suppose to be prepared before being launched in a rocket into space?" Engie asked.

"How's that?" Aqua asked.

"Like getting used to non-gravity, and being trained for space.” Engie pointed out.

"I guess they couldn't wait." Aqua said.

“Seems awfully dangerous though.” Engie said.

“Now, now Aqua, they’ll be fine. At least Flare had his practice with no gravity.” Crystal said.

A cutaway shows the previous chapter of this book when Psyche made his birthday wish. “Uh oh, I only got 5 seconds!” Psyche runs out of the room and he comes back with a hammer and some nails and then he hammers the nails on a chair in the room and then he sits on it, holding onto the sides, and then suddenly, everypony in the room, including most of the objects immediately ‘fall’ onto the ceiling. “HA! No gravity!” he said mischievously. The cutaway ends.

Inside the rocket, Psyche and I were screaming while we were pushed into space. Our manes were blowing behind our heads, and our lips and eyelids were tingling back. Several times, Psyche kept using his inhaler because he kept having asthma attacks while we were being launched into outer space. "Why did you talk me into doing this?!" I yelled with a shaky voice.

"I didn't, you got yourself into this!” Psyche yelled with a shaky voice.

"No you!" I yelled.

"No you!" Psyche yelled.

"No you!" I yelled.

"No you!" Psyche yelled. We kept saying 'no you' to eachother until the rocket left the Earth's atmosphere, and then we started floating, but our seat belts were still holding us down.

"No you infinity!" I yelled.

"No you infinity plus one, HA!" Psyche yelled.

"Lawl, that is so lame! Plus one? That all you can do?" I asked. "Pathetic! No you, infinity plus infinity! You can't beat that!"

"Technically, there's nothing beyond infinity." Psyche corrected me.

"Except 'beyond'.” I said.

"That doesn't make sense." Psyche said.

"Neither does your face." I said. "And quit floating on your chair, it's getting creepy."

"I'll stop, if you stop." Psyche said.

"I'm not floating!" I corrected him, but then I looked down and saw my bum was not on my seat. "I stand corrected. I don't know how it's happening. You're the pegasus here."

"You're the unicorn here." Psyche pointed out as he starts taking his seatbelt off. "As far as I'm concerned, maybe you're using your magic."

"I'm not using my magic right now. If I were, my horn would glow." I corrected him. "And don't take off your seat belt, you'll get hurt. Or worse… you’ll get a ticket!”

"I'll be fine. There isn't much gravity here anyway." Psyche corrected me.

"Luna did say something about not much gravy in space when she used to be stuck in the moon." I said. "Sounds awful! What will we do without gravy?"

"It's not gravy you twit, it's gravity." Psyche corrected me as he unbuckles his seat belt, and starts flying. "Wow! I guess I don't need wings to fly while we're in space." I started inhaling real deep and Psyche started to get a bit aggervated on what I was gonna do next. "DON'T DO IT, FLARE!"

I then yelled out, "SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!" Psyche covers his ears as I yell that. "I've always wanted to say that! Happy face!"

"I've always not wanted to hear you say that." Psyche said. “Now c’mon, Flare, unbuckle and join the fun!”

“I don’t want us to get pulled over by the space cops for this.” I said.

“Flare, there’s no such thing as space cops.” Psyche corrected me.

“If you unbuckle in space, they’re gonna pull us over and give us a ticket.” I said.

“No they won’t.” Psyche said.

“You don’t know that; this is your first time in space. Not even I know, but I don’t want to take that risk.” I said.

“Flare, it’s ok. If there’s ever a ‘space cop’ around, I’ll buy you lunch all next week.” Psyche offered.

“Hey seriously? Like seriously actually? All next week?” I asked.

“I guarantee it. Now unbuckle.” Psyche demanded.

“For the lunch, ok!” I said as I buckled my seat belt and started flying. "Wow! It's as if I'm an alicorn now! Except I don't have wings. I'm a flying unicorn! Pretty leet, huh?"

"Mmhmm." Psyche nodded in agreement.

Just then my stomach starts growling. "Wow, that normally doesn’t happen." I said. “Normally I fill up my belly before it’s able to do that. Good thing I bought a bag of potato chips." I then took out a bag of potato chips and opened them.

"WAIT! Don't open them!" Psyche cried, but it was too late. The potato chips started floating in the air.

"Whoa! Epic!" I cried out. "Check it out dude! The chips are flying!”

"No, really?" Psyche asked sarcastically.

“It looks so beautiful, man! I never thought I’d see chips fly. I’m putting this on my Instagram.” I said as I took out my phone from my pocket and took a picture of the flying chips. “Hey Psyche, come take a selfie with me.” I grabbed Psyche and leaned him towards me as I was aiming the phone camera right towards our faces with my magic and I did a duck face and took a picture of us. Psyche didn’t smile for the camera, he was mostly surprised on how I grabbed him like that. “Awesome possum!” But just then my phone started flying out of my hoof. “Whoa! My phone is flying! I should take a picture of that too.” I went through my pocket and got my spare camera and took a picture of it, but then my spare camera started to fly. “Wow, I should take a picture of that too, if only I had anything else to take a picture with!”

“Flare, these chips flying around is going to be a little too dangerous for the rocket. We need to clean them up!” Psyche said.

"No problemo brah! I can eat these chips without using my hooves, or magic!" I said, and then I started flying around and eating them while the Blue Danube Waltz was playing in the background. Each chip I ate was once every musical note. As I was eating them, I was also doing a bunch of spins and twists and awesome tricks I wasn’t able to do with gravity in the way.

"This is ridiculous!" Psyche complained with a facehoof. "If a chip gets jammed on something, it'll be your fault!"

"Don't worry buddy!" I said. "We'll be a-okay! I'll have the place cleaned up in no time!"

"You think you'll get every crum?" Psyche asked.

"Don't act so crummy, Psyche." I teased.

"Why did I bring you along?" Psyche asked.

"Because I'm awesome possum!" I said. "And we're the Noble Six! The Noble Six sticks together!"

"We left over half the group back on the planet." Psyche pointed out.

"I said the Noble Six sticks together, I didn't say we'd be all together." I corrected him.

"That doesn't make a hick of sense!" Psyche said.

"Nopony is hiccupping here, brah." I corrected him. "Now quit being a bore and help me eat these chips."

"A bore?" Psyche asked as he floated around not eating any chips.

"Yeah a bore." I said I was still floating around eating chips. "You're boring me with your chit-chat."

"You're starting to get on my nerves." Psyche said.

"Well I have no idea where your nerds are, but I'm pretty much not on anything except the air." I said.

"What?" Psyche asked.

"Hey, I'm getting full from these chips." I said as I continued to eat them. "Are you gonna help me eat them, or what?"

"No." Psyche said.

"Why not?" I asked.

"Because I'm not hungry." Psyche said.

"Remember when you said if the chips get jammed on something?" I asked. "Well it'll be partially your fault too, because you didn't help me out."

Psyche gave out a sigh. "You maybe getting on my nerves, but you make good points." he said.

"Again. Where are these nerds you are talking about?" I asked.

"NERVES, not NERDS!" Psyche corrected me.

"What you talking about? Speak Equestrian dude." I instructed him.

A few hours later, we finally arrived at the moon. "Alright! Check it out Psyche!" I pointed. "We made it to the moon without Celestia banishing us here!"

"Yeah, that's nice." Psyche said. "Just put your helmet on so we can go outside."

"Why do we need these stupid suits for anyway?" I asked.

"Princess Luna says the air is not breathable out there." Psyche said. "We need oxygen in order to survive."

"Oh, so that's what this green cylinder thingy is for?" I asked.

"You catch on pretty quick dude." Psyche said as we both put on our helmets, but while Psyche was about to open the hatch, a remaining potato chip got inside a vent. Psyche opens the hatch and he glides outside, and I follows. "This is one small step to ponykind!" Psyche said.

"Or this is one large jump to the Noble Six." I said as I was carrying a flagpole with a giant 6 on it and pictures of each of Engie’s, Crystal’s, Aqua’s, Blaze’s, Psyche’s, and mine’s faces on it.

"What is that?" Psyche asked as he pointed to the flagpole.

"Oh this? This is the flagpole I'm gonna place somewhere." I said.

"What kind of flag is that? What does the six mean?" Psyche asked.

"It represents the Noble Six, dum dum.” I reminded him.

"C'mon, follow me." Psyche instructed me. "We're gonna explore."

"Lead the way!" I said. And so we both explored the Earth’s floating rock; Psyche was walking around exploring and carrying a couple of tools with him, and I was jumping around, spinning and having fun with the low gravity. "Weeeeeee!" I cried out in excitement. "Look how high I'm jumping! It's like wearing spring shoes!"

"Uh huh." Psyche said, not really listening to me.

"Hey Psyche, what are you planning to do up here?" I asked.

"Studying." Psyche said.

"Studying what?" I asked as I was still having fun with the low gravity.

"The moon. What else?" Psyche asked.

"How about we study Uranus?" I asked.

"What is that suppose to mean?" Psyche asked.

"You know, the planet?" I reminded him.

"That's nice." Psyche said with an uncaring tone.

"Oh this looks like a good spot to set the flag!" I pointed down to the ground. Just then, I raised the flag up in the air, and I started screaming like a berserker, and then I placed the flagpole in place. "YES! I dub thee the Noble Six, into a full moon!" I yelled as I shook my flank around. Psyche sighed. "Hey, I'm gonna go ahead. You're going to darn slow!"

"Go ahead. Have fun." Psyche said as started to feel relieved.

“Oh I will have fun, don’t worry.” I nodded. “And when I do… oh yeah…”

“Huh?” Psyche asked.

“You ask too many questions.” I said as I started hoping away, having fun on the moon, but I stopped as soon as I found Super Mario on my flagpole, sliding the flag down. “HEY! Get away from there!” I cried out. Super Mario climbed off the flagpole and walked inside a little castle that I didn’t know was there at first, and then fireworks blew on top of the castle. “Where did that castle come from? You’re trespassing on Noble Six property! You must be hammered! C’mon, bro!” as soon as Mario exited that castle, I started throwing hammers at him along with a duplicate of me doing the same thing.

Psyche sighs and said, “I love that guy, but he’s weirder than a prank friendship letter to Princess Celestia.

A cutaway shows Princess Celestia singing an Evanescence song happily in her shower while she uses her scrub brush as a microphone, but you see there’s something wrong with that. You can’t sing an Evanescence song happily, that’s just impossible. Anyways, while she was singing in her shower, she receives a letter that appears out of Spike’s fire breath. “Oh, what do we have here?” Celestia asked as she opens the letter. “Dear princess celestia, it needs to be 20% cooler- Oh this must be from Rainbow Dash. It needs to be 20% cooler y'all... umm... if you don't mind. Your faithful student, Rarity. Wait, what? It’s from all of them? Hmm…” Celestia starts thinking to herself and imagines a giant blob combining all of the Mane Six together into one freak of nature. “Eww.” She said to herself. “Not something to think about in the shower.” The cutaway ends.

An hour went by, and Psyche wanted to stop and rest for a little bit. He placed his portable telescope down, sat down on a moon rock, and looked through the telescope. As he was looking, he heard whispers in the backgound. "Psyche...." an echo whispered.

"Huh? Who's there?" Psyche called out, looking around and feeling concerned. He shrugged and looked through the telescope again.

"Psyche...." the echo whispered again.

"Flare? Is that you?" Psyche called out. "This isn't funny." Psyche looked around again. A shadow ran by behind him, but it wasn't a pony. "Flare? Stop it! If this is a prank, I'm so gonna kill you!" A sound started rolling towards him, and it was my air helmet. "FLARE?!" A big blue glowing shadow started walking towards Psyche. Psyche screamed and started to run. He ran all the way to the ship. He started pulling the hatch, but it was shut. Luckily, I was there just in time and opened the hatch from the other side, and then Psyche screamed.

"Sup brah? Being chased by space cops?” I asked.

"DUDE! There's something out there!" Psyche yelled.

“A space cop?” I asked.

“NO! An alien!” Psyche yelled. “This is scary yet… fascinating.”

“How can it be fascinating?” I asked.

“The proof of alien life existing out here.” Psyche said.

“Wow, and I thought I was the crazy one.” I chuckled and said.

"Wait, I saw your air helmet out there." Psyche pointed out.

"Uh, I'm wearing my air helmet." I pointed to my head revealing my air helmet.

"So that means there must be somepony else up here with us." Psyche thought "And the alien has him or her!"

"I guess this just turned from a study project, to a rescue huh?" I asked.

"Yeah sure, whatever you say." Psyche said. "But listen, I don't think we can do this alone."

"Look, as long as I have my magic handy, we should be fine!" I said.

"And how you suppose to use your magic with an air helmet on?" Psyche asked.

"I can do magic, watch!" with my helmet on, I used my psychokinesis spell to lift Psyche up.

"Alright..... alright I think you made your point." Psyche said as he was still getting lifted in the air. "Please put me down!?”

"Sure thing!" I said as I released Psyche from my grasp and then Psyche slowly started falling back on the moon. "Oh I forgot about the low-gravity. Oh well."

"What's that suppose to mean?" Psyche asked.

"I'm hungry, let's have dinner." I said.

“What? The potato chips weren’t enough?” Psyche asked.

“Potato chips were more of an… appetizer.” I said.

“An appetizer? Really?” Psyche asked.

“Really, really.” I nodded.

“I really don’t get appetizers sometimes. They spoil the main course and the dessert.” Psyche said.

“How about we just don’t have dessert then?” I asked.

“NO! A meal without dessert is like a telescope without lends!” Psyche yelled.

“I dunno much about telescopes so I wouldn’t know.” I said.

So after a little while, Psyche and I got more comfortable and took off our space suits, and Psyche walked over to the freezer and took out a couple of TV dinners. "TV dinners?" I asked.

"Yeah." Psyche said.

"I'm kinda in the mood for spaghetti." I said.

"Too bad. We left the planet's orbit and now we have to eat food that won't float away." Psyche said.

"This stinks." I said.

"No kidding." Psyche agreed. "But it's the way space works."

"SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!" I cried.

"I told you not to do that!" Psyche yelled.

"I told you to stop whining like a little foal, and start cooking the food." I demanded.

"You didn't tell me that." Psyche corrected me.

"I did now, so hop to it! No pun intended." I instructed him. Psyche takes the two dinners and puts them in the microwave and when they were done, he places them on the table. "What is this?"

"Spaghetti, like you wanted." Psyche said.

"Uh huh, sure. Thanks brah." I said as I began to eat my dinner, and Psyche did as well. "This spaghetti tastes funny, and not ‘lawl lawl’ funny, more like BLAH funny."

"What's wrong now?" Psyche asked with an attitude.

"I usually like to eat fresh spaghetti. I mean, don't get me wrong, this is okay, but I kinda like fresh pasta better. TV dinners… they’re not really real dinners. I said.

"Sorry, no fresh pasta in space." Psyche said.

"SPAAAAAAAAAAAACE!“ I cried.

"Do you have to say that every time I say space?" Psyche asked, and after a moment of silence, he realized he made a mistake there. "NO WAIT-"

"SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-!" I cried out again but it was shortened because I needed to cough. “You know, Psyche. It was nice of you to invite me to go with you to reach for the shtars! Shtars, shtars, shtars!” Psyche gave himself a facehoof and finished up his meal. Eventually we were both finished with our food.

"Alright Flare, I'm going back outside." Psyche said.

"Don't let the hatch hit you on the way out.” I teased.

Psyche grunted. "What are you gonna do?" he asked.

"I'm gonna stay put." I said.

"Alright." Psyche nodded as he puts on his helmet and his space suit, not necessarily in that order; he then opens the hatch and hops back outside and closes the hatch behind him. Psyche glided through the open moon space carrying some stuff with him. He hoped for a few minutes and eventually he found a nice relaxing spot to settle down and research. "This looks like a good spot." he said to himself as he set everything down in that spot. I dunno why he’s talking to himself, he’s crazy……… I narrate, that’s different. So, Psyche was looking through the telescope and began to take some notes on what he can find.

"Mmhmm. Interesting. The Big Dipper.” Through the telescope shows the Big Dipper. “Oh and next to it is the Big Double Dipper!” Right next to the Big Dipper is a giant pony double-dipping chips in a giant bowl of guacamole. Psyche turned the telescope to see what else he can find. “Ah, the rings of Saturn!”

Through the telescope was Saturn and her rings surrounding her when suddenly, an asteroid hit Saturn. “Excuse me? Uh huh!” Saturn complained in a fat lady’s voice. “Oh no you didn’t just hit me, fool! Mm-mm!” Saturn starts taking off her rings surrounding her. “Someone’s gonna teach you a lesson, ya jackflank!”

“Oh and lookie here.” Psyche said as he turned the telescope. “It’s Pluto!”

“Woof woof.” Pluto barked.

“I’d look at the Milky Way, but I’m lactose intolerance.” Psyche said. Bum, bum, pssssh!

As Psyche was observing the skies and researching, the strange echo sounded off the open moon desert again. "Psyche...."

"Oh not this again." he said with a facehoof. "I'm not afraid of you! So you can just leave me be!" he yelled out.

"Psyche...." echo said again. "You're trespassing..... leave at once....."

"No. You leave at once. I'm trying to study our galaxy here." Psyche demanded.

"Trepasser...." the echo whispered through the air. ”Trespasser......"

"Princess Luna wouldn't mind us here. We're friends of hers." Psyche said.

"Noooo.... Princess Luna no say so." The echo whispered, and just in case you were wondering, the echo was actually talking like that; that wasn’t a grammar error. Well, technically it was, but… oh be quiet and continue reading! Oh wait… that’s… what you’re doing. My apologies, please continue. "You.... will.... PERISH!" the echo whispered, and then suddenly, the glowing blue shadow from before started walking slowly towards Psyche again. Psyche started screaming and he knocked over his telescope and started running away. As he was running, Psyche tripped over a rock and started slowly moving falling towards the ground and bounces around on the moon with his body until he finally lands on his back, moving his legs around helplessly like a turtle on his or her back. The shadow was moving closer and closer to him.

"Please! I'm sorry to intrude! My telescope is broken now anyway, so there's pretty much nothing more I can do here!" Psyche pleated in fear. "Please! Let me live!" Psyche started crying in mercy.

"LAWL!" the echo said. "You should've seen the look on your face brah!"

"What the?" Psyche said in concern. The shadow appears out of the darkness and it was revealed to be a dark floating cloak with a speaker on it.

"HA! Look at you, Psyche! You were crying and everything! EX DEE! EX DEE!" I laughed through the speaker.

Psyche started getting real angry, and blew steam out of his ears and nose. "FLARE!" he yelled. “WHERE ARE YOU?!” He stood up and slowly walked towards the ship.

“Why would you ask me that if you already know?” I asked from the floating alien disguise. Psyche turns to the alien disguise and gives it a big buck, but unforchuntely for him, he wasn’t able to damage it, and all the damage he could do was his own left-hind hoof. “Wow, you’re weak.” I said. Psyche picks a moon rock and begins walking towards the ship with it. “Psyche, what are you doing with that moon rock? Psyche? Psyche, what are you doing? Psyche? Psyche Illution, are you paying any attention to me?!” Psyche didn’t say anything to me. All he was doing was angrily walking towards the ship to confront me. When he got inside he saw me sitting on one of the chairs.

"THIS IS THE LAST STRAW! YOU REALLY DONE IT NOW!” Psyche yelled at me.

“What? What are you talking about, dude?” I asked.

“YOU SCARED THE LIVING FEATHERS OUT OF ME! YOU EVEN BROKE MY TELESCOPE AND MADE ME SPILL WATER MY JOURNAL! YOU RUINED EVERYTHING!" Psyche yelled.

“I-D-K what you’re talking about, brah. I was just sitting here this whole time, listening to some Arrow-Smith.” I said.

“Really? You were listening to rock?! You playing innocent with me, Flare?!” Psyche yelled.

“I wasn’t listening to rock. I was listening to Arrow-Smith.” I corrected him.

“Aerosmith is a rock band, dude.” Psyche corrected me.

“I wasn’t talking about the band ‘Aerosmith’, I was talking about Arrow-Smith. Listen…” I offered my headphones to Psyche and he took them and placed one of them in his ear, and just as I said, it was Arrow-Smith. It was the sound of a guy smithing up some arrows.

“Well, I stand corrected there. BUT YOU RUINED THIS ENTIRE TRIP FOR ME!” Psyche yelled as he threw my headphones on the ground.

“Excuse me, careful with those headphones!” I complained.

“FLARE!” Psyche yelled.

“Ok, sad face, I am sorry, brah. I was only having some fun is all. For a moon trip, this is a pretty boring one, may I say.” I admitted.

"SORRY AND SAD FACE DOESN'T CUT IT! YOU RUINED MY RESEARCH!" Psyche yelled at me. "BUCKLE UP! We’re going home!”

"But we can still have fun up here while it lasts." I suggested.

"STRAP IN!” Psyche ordered me.

I started to feel bad. I wasn’t trying to ruin Psyche’s research trip. For any reason it was his fault for letting me go with him. I wanted to try to cheer him up. “Would you care for a Jelly Baby?” I offered.

“Wha- NO!” Psyche yelled.

“That’s too bad. Anypony who’s anypony wouldn’t decline a Jelly Belly.” I said.

“OH GIMMIE!” Psyche yelled as he took the Jelly Babies out of my hoof and started eating them.

“Heh, you know, you didn’t expect the alien to be me at first. After all, I was on the ship when the alien invaded. It was pretty funny, wasn’t it?” I chuckled.

"NO IT WASN'T!" Psyche yelled.

"You mad bro?" I asked. Psyche grunted real loud as he tried to start up the engines.

“I’ll tell you what, if you don't talk to me, maybe I'll forgive you when we get home." Psyche said. I figured that’s for the best. I know I joke but making friends mad is against protocols for me; besides, I wanted to go back to listening to Arrow-Smith anyway. Psyche was about to set course to home, but the engines started to smoke. "NO NO NO!" he cried. I wanted to ask him what was wrong, but I did what he said in not talking. Psyche unbuckled, put back his helmet on and got out of the rocket and looked at the engines. He thought for a second, and then he went back inside and looked inside the engine vents. "WHAT IS THIS?!" he yelled. Psyche grabs something of the vents and shows it to me. It was a potato chip. "LOOK! A potato chip!" I didn't say anything. "I wonder where this came from?" Psyche asked sarcastically. "HEY! Are you listening to me?"

"You told me not to talk to you!” I yelled.

"YOU SEE WHAT YOU DID?!" Psyche yelled. "BECAUSE OF YOUR POTATO CHIPS, THE ENGINES ARE FRIED! NOW WE'RE TRAPPED ON THE MOON!"

"Have you tried fixing it brah? Duh!” I asked.

"SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP!" Psyche yelled. "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! IF YOU HAVEN'T EATEN THOSE POTATO CHIPS, WE WOULD BE GOING HOME RIGHT NOW! THE ENGINES ARE BUSTED! I DON'T HAVE THE TOOLS!"

"Well it's your fault you didn't bring the tools." I corrected him. "Serious face."
The top of Psyche's head opened like a hatch and an explosion came out, then it closed. Psyche was steaming, his face was turning red, and he was really angry.
"Hey your brain just exploded. I’m guessing I drew some sort of line there.” I assumed.

“NOOO, REALLY?!” Psyche yelled sarcastically.

"Look, I apologize.” I said. “But maybe if we work together-"
"I DON'T WANT YOUR HELP ANYMORE! I DON'T NEED YOU!" Psyche yelled. "ALL YOU DO IS MAKE EVERYTHING WORSE! YOU ARE THE SECOND MOST USELESS PONY I HAVE EVER MET! AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU, OR ANYPONY ELSE CAN DO THAT CAN CHANGE THAT! I HATE YOU!”

“Excuse me, strongly dislike. Hate’s too strong.” I corrected him. “And who’s the first useless pony?”

“Crystal. Who else?” Psyche asked.

"LOOK, IF YOU WEREN'T SO BORING, MAYBE YOU'D STILL BE STUDYING, AND I WOULDN'VE PRANKED YOU!" I yelled.

"OH, LIKE YOU WOULDN'T PRANK ME ANYWAY!" Psyche yelled sarcastically.

"Hey maybe if you just cried about it, maybe it'll all feel better." I suggested. "C'mon Psyche, hold my hoof. Let's cry together. WAAAAAAAH!"

"I thought you were better than that? Clearly I was mistaken." Psyche said. "I'm gonna try to radio home for help. Don't talk to me, and don't get near me. Once we get home, I don't want to see you anymore.”

“That’s your anger talking.” I said.

“Perhaps. But it’s how I feel. So, please… get lost.” Psyche instructed me. I started to tear up. Just as I thought I wouldn’t mess things up anymore. Sigh. Oh well, if that’s what he wants, it’s what he’ll get. I put on my space suit, opened the hatch, and left the rocket, leaving Psyche alone in there. You know, I always pictured Psyche to be a little more joyful than that, and I pictured Blaze to be the critic. Oh well. That is that. I’m sadly moon-walking away from the rocket. Really, I was moon-walking, like Michael Jackson, but I wasn’t in the mood to go ‘woo-hoo’ or ‘yee-hee’, but as I was leaving, I took a spare bag of potato chips with me and opened it up, and the chips started floating in the air again. “SIGH!” I yelled out in anger. “Nothing is ever my way anymore!”

Meanwhile back at the observatory, while Spike was still trying to look for some files, Princess Luna suddenly walks into the observatory. "Psyche? Are thou here?" Luna asked. Luna looked around the observatory and couldn't find anyone around. She looked all over, but still couldn't find anyone. She eventually went into the storage room, and found Spike looking at files. "Spike?"

"Huh? Oh hey Princess Luna." Spike said as he was still looking.

"What are you doing?" Luna asked.

"Looking for a file for Psyche." Spike said. “You know, it’s pretty funny that how our names sound similar.”

"Uh huh." Luna nodded. "Do you know where he is?"

"Hang on second, Princess. Found it!" Spike cried out in excitement as he takes a file out of one of the cabinets. His excitement died down as he looks over at Luna. "I'm sorry, what?"

"Do you know where Psyche is?" Luna asked.

"Oh, him and Flare went to the moon." Spike said.

"What?!" Luna gasped in shock. "How?"

"They build a rocket." Spike said.

"Oh yeah, those new space shuttles." Luna understood. "Sorry, I’m still getting used to things after I was allowed back in Equestria.”

“No sweat.” Spike said.

“I’m still trying to get used to how things work around here. Do you know anything about this phrase I keep hearing – Yolo, I think is called. Know what that means?” Luna asked.

“Some rapper made it up, and now some morons are walking through the streets with their pants down their waists and saying it non-stop. It’s so annoying.” Spike said.

“I figured. I said it a couple of times and ponies just looked at me funny. At first I thought it was because they’re not used to me back yet, but now I see the true reason.” Luna said.

“Yeah.” Spike nodded.

“Maybe I can go check up on them." Luna said.

“Don’t worry, princess. I’m sure those ponies would forgive you.” Spike said.

“I meant Flare and Psyche.” Luna corrected him.

“Oh… alright. I’m not sure how. There was only one shuttle.” Luna said.

“I have my ways.” Luna said.

"While you're at it, can you ask Psyche if he still wants this file?" Spike asked.

“What’s that file about?” Luna asked.

“It’s a file about a star system… the Big Double Dipper, I think.” Spike reads the file.

“Ugh! The ruiner of parties. Some star systems are selfish, thou know?” Luna complained.

A few hours went by, and I was just was kicking a rock around as I was walking around the moon. "That stupid Psyche!" I complained. "He thinks he's so smart. He thinks he's better than everypony else! I wish he wasn't so stubborn, you know? I was only trying to have fun. I didn't mean to make him break his equipment. It should teach him to be prepared for situations like this. He didn't have to bring me with him. Sigh. So much for reaching for the shtars.” I sadly keeps walking, but as I was walking, I tripped and fell in a crater. "Ouch! You know? They should put a 'watch out' sign, or 'crater' sign, or 'wet floor' sign, or something. I just walk into a crater and fall. I'm trapped on the moon with Psyche, I might as well die here." I complained as I laid inside the crater.

As I was laying there, I curiously looked up ahead and saw a light inside a cave. "I guess I'm already dead." I assumed. "I don't feel dead. But then again, I don't feel anything when I'm dead. Do I?" I finally stood up and started walking towards the light on the other side of the tunnel. I didn’t really know what it was, and I didn’t know what to expect. The cave started to get dark, so dark that the only thing visible is my eyes. How is that possible, I have no idea. Even though it was dark, the light on the other side of the tunnel provided a helpful light source. Once I finally reached the light, I found out that it was actually a door with a crystal light, with a big L on the door. "What in the Wizard of Feelings is this?" I asked myself as I opened the door. Inside was a big room that looks like a Living Room with a kitchen. The whole room was blue and had crystals lighting the room around the walls; the couches had stars on it, in fact, most of the furniture had something outer space related on it, or at least that color. "What is this place?" I asked myself. I looked on the wall and I saw pictures of Princess Luna as well as Celestia and many other ponies and creatures I have no idea who they are.

After observing the pictures, it hit me. “OW!” I yelled as a rock hit me on the head from the ceiling, but then I had a theory of where I was. "AH HA! This must be where Princess Luna stayed in when she was banished in the moon.” I had the feeling it was it at least. I have discovered something that hasn’t been found by pony kind in like… forever. Does that make sense? Well, regardless, I had another theory. “Maybe we won't be stuck up here in the moon forever. Maybe Princess Luna will come here and she'll take us home! Like that! I can’t wait to tell Psyche the good new-“ my excitement stopped and I started to get angry again. "But who cares what Psyche thinks? He can rot here in space for all I care."

I looked around Luna's place some more from her bedroom, to bathroom, to a room full of unique magic. This magic seemed too much for my big but weak horn to handle. His time has not come yet. I found a trash bin over at the wall and I looked inside. “Wow.” I said. “There’s so many pictures of Princess Celestia and a big X over her. Wow so many hateful Celestia stuff in here. This must be when she was still Nightmare Moon. Hello, what’s this?” there was something else in the trash bin. I took it out and observed it. “This looks like story of some sort. Nightmarecord, what?” Before I continue, I’m just gonna say that was a Discord and Nightmare Moon shipping fanfic. Nightmare Moon had a strange imagination, that’s for sure. This is what inspired me to make my own story, which is what you’re reading now! Once I went back to the Living room, I became short of breath. "Wow...... is anypony else having a hard time breathing, or is it just me? Oh wait, yeah it is just me. I’m the only one here." I said to myself. I looked at my oxygen tank meter and it was on E. "I guess E means… end of the line." I said. "If I don't make it...... tell.... my fishies...... I.... less then three....." I then collapsed on the floor. I knew for sure I wasn’t gonna make it. I really didn’t think this is how I’d end – trapped on the moon with Psyche and die of suffocation. Before I passed out, I saw a shadow walking towards me. I didn’t know who it was, but it was no reason not to trust them. Do I have a choice after all?

After I doused off, I started dreaming about strange creatures on floating eyeballs spinning around in a circle around me as I was playing with a sock puppet with a happy face on my hoof and I started to sing, “It’s a cruel, cruel world, and all you little boys and girls, and some mean, nasty people, want to have you for their supper! But if you follow me, you can all be FREE, FREE- you can all be free as a bird on a big TV, if you DREAM, if you DREAM, if you DREAM, MY DREAM!” Just then, I figured out that I was standing on some spinning colorful plates and some more of those creatures that seemed to be speaking backwards were spinning around me on some little Saturns and blue 3D blocks. “It’s a cruel, cruel world full of little boys and girls and the selfish mean nasty people, nasty nasty nasty NASTY! But there’s a way you can make your day, you can laugh, you can smile, you can come and stay a while! You can dream my dream, you can have it all with me; you can dream my dream! You can dream my dream! You can…… dream….. my….. dream.” My dream started to shatter like glass right before I finally gained consciousness.

I finally awakened back inside the ship along with Princess Luna standing over me. "Are you okay, Flare Gun?" Luna asked.

"Oh hey, Luna." I said as I was just coming to my senses. I rubbed my head and grunted. "What happened?"

"I was just checking on things and Psyche said you and him were stranded here." Luna said. "Found you in my old home."

"Your house was pretty leet, Luna, but I’m not into shipping fanfics.” I said.

“Oh… you saw that, huh?” Luna asked.

"So when you were banished up here, that's where you stayed?" I asked.

"Pretty much." Luna nodded. "Your oxygen tank was empty. It was a good thing you were found in the nick of time.”

"Oh. Well..... thanks for saving me Luna. I owe you one." I said.

"You don't owe me anything. It was actually Psyche that rescued you." Luna said.

"Psyche? No." I said in denial. "He wouldn't."

"Actually I would." Psyche said as he walked into the room wearing a sweater and drinking some hot cocoa.

"I thought you never wanted to see me again?" I asked.

"I didn’t at first.” Psyche said. "But I didn't mean it. It's not your fault. I know you didn't know that chips could actually destroy the engines."

"I know. Sorry I ruined your project. Coming with you on this trip was a big mistake. Little did I know it was a research trip and not a vacay.” I said.

"It's cool man. I actually had fun." Psyche said. "An hour after you left, I got worried. I was thinking about how much I hurt your feelings, so I followed your foot prints and potato chip crums on your boot, and found you at Luna's place. You were lying on the ground, unconscious. I was really upset, thinking I lost you, but I couldn’t give up, so I gave you half of my oxygen, and I bought you back to the ship. You were pretty heavy to carry, counting all those chips you ate.”

“Thanks for calling me fat, brah.” I said sarcastically.

“Princess Luna came as I was taking you back to the ship, and she helped me out.” Psyche explained.

“Wow… Psyche… you risked your life to save me. I… you ponies never seize to amaze me!” I said as I sat up where I was laying. “Oh… if there was only some way to repay you for ruining your project.”

“You already have, Flare.” Psyche said. “Discovering Luna’s secret cavern was really one huge step to ponykind. We found the lost caverns. This research I got from the caves will make me famous.”

“Oh… so you researched the cave before you took me back to the ship?” I asked.

“Yeah… I really didn’t think that one out.” Psyche admitted. “But still, if you haven’t runned out like that, I wouldn’ve found those caverns. You really helped my research in a big way, Flare. Thanks!”

“Oh… well then. I guess things worked out after all, huh?” I asked.

“I guess so.” Psyche nodded. “Now would you care for a Jelly Baby?”

“Bro, anypony who’s anypony wouldn’t decline a Jelly Baby!” I said as I took some Jelly Babies out of Psyche’s hoof and ate them.

“I… was only offering one.” Psyche said. Princess Luna started to chuckle.

"Oh.... so we're still in space?" I asked.

"Yeah, why?" Psyche asked.

"Good! I wanted to do one thing real quick!" I said as I jumped up quickly, took a camera, and then went back outside. I placed the camera in front of me, turned on the automatic and then I went in front of the camera, holding my hooves up in the air as I stood right in front of a view of Earth. The camera flashed automatically and the picture came out, showing me holding the Earth. "Kay kay, I'm done. Let's go." I took the camera, jumped back into the rocket, and strapped myself in.

"You ready Flare?" Psyche asked.

"Ready as spaghetti!" I said. "Luna?"

"Yep!" Luna nodded. So Psyche started the rocket and started flying it towards home. The gravity started to pull us in, and we were coming in pretty hot. I like it hot, hot, hot!

“Hey Psyche, when we return, let’s say you discovered the cave.” I offered.

“Oh… well, thank you!” Psyche said.

“I didn’t finish.” I said. “Let’s say you discovered the cave. Now-“

“Ok, thanks, Flare!” Psyche nodded.

“I didn’t finish!” I yelled.

“A little taste of your own medicine, huh Flare?” Psyche teased.

“Oh shut up, that don’t bother me!” I lied.

“Oh Flare.” Psyche shook his head and chuckled. Luna chuckled along.

“Also delete those photos of my full-moon off your phone.” I ordered Psyche.

Author's Note

The remake of the original Moon Chips chapter. Nothing much changed except for a few minor things like the random gags and a wee-bit change of story. I kinda liked the chapter how it was.

Vinyl Scratch FM

Over at the Ponyville Radio Station, Vinyl Scratch was DJing her radio show. She was just finishing up a story she was announcing on the radio. "...and then I said, ‘if you want the mustard, then you'd have to ketchup’!" she said and laughed. "Anyways everypony, this is DJ PON-3, A-K-A Vinyl Scratch coming to you live from Scratch FM! We're free to take some calls! We have... Cloud Dasher. You're on live, Cloud Dasher!"

"Thanks Vinyl!" Cloud Dasher said from the intercom.

"Do you have a question for us dude?" Vinyl asked.

"Yes, I have a question." Cloud Dasher said.

"Speak up." Vinyl said.

"What color are your eyes?" Cloud Dasher asked.

"One DJ does not reveal all her secrets at once.” Vinyl said.

"Okay, but that doesn't answer my question." Cloud Dasher said.

"You had your chance to see them at the Royal wedding. Thanks for calling, colt." Vinyl said as she ended the call. "Next, we have Ditzy Do from Ponyvile. What's up Ditzy?"

"Hi Vinyl! I have a question for you." Derpy said on the intercom.

"Go on ahead, I'm all ears." Vinyl said.

"I have corn that's full of ears too!" Derpy said.

"That's…. nice." Vinyl said in an awkward tone; she then clears her throat and continues; "What's your question dudet?"

"I just put my food in the microwave, but it's not heating up." Derpy said. "I thought after you put your food in the microwave, it’s supposed to heat up?"

"Uhh... did you try pressing the numbers on the microwave then pressing start?" Vinyl asked.

"Oh really?" Derpy asked when suddenly, Vinyl hears beeping sounds on the intercom. "Oh thanks, Vinyl! You're a genius! That's what Dinky wanted me to do, but you know how foals are, right?"

"Uh, yeah." Vinyl said in an awkward tone. "Thanks for calling, you have a great day! Next we have-"

"Vinyl, wake up." A familiar voice on the intercom said.

"Excuse me?" Vinyl asked as she rubbed a pencil eraser inside of her ear.

"Wake up, Vinyl." The voice said again. After a few moments, Vinyl was asleep in her bed, and her roommate Octavia was waking her up. "Wake up, Vinyl." she said. "You have community service to do today." Vinyl yawned as she started to regain her senses.

"Oh hey Octavia!" Vinyl said as she yawned. "What's going on sister?"

"Vinyl, dear, I hope you didn't forget the community service you have to do." Octavia reminded her.

"Community service?" Vinyl asked confusingly.

"Remember when you were playing that loud music at the fishing competition?" Octavia reminded her.

“They said ‘drop the bass’, in those words!” Vinyl reminded her.

"Or the time you drank to much apple cider at the town hall meeting?” Octy reminded her.

“Wasn’t it a cider-drinking audition?” Vinyl asked.

“No, that was that evening. It was afternoon.” Octy corrected her.

“I really don’t see the difference between times. Every time is bass dropping time!” Vinyl said.

“And let's not forget the time you ruined my last concert!" she said with an attitude.

“To save the boredom. Nopony in the audience was dancing to your music, so they were obviously bored.” Vinyl said.

"Vinyl, do you know why we live together?" Octy asked.

"Because nopony can resist the dubstep jam from DJ Pon3?" Vinyl asked as she started nodding her head.

"No, because we're both broke, and we only have enough money for two ponies to help eachother out on bills." Octy said. "Now do yourself a favor dear, and head to the Ponyville Park to pay the debt you owe to society."

"Aw just gimmie 5 minutes, Octy!" Vinyl whinned.

"Look if you don't do this, you might pay a fine, or get arrested or something. I need you and we're broke." Octy repeated herself. “We’re like Two Broke Girls. Except without the dirty jokes.”

“Well, opposites really attract, like when Pinkie Pie and Rarity were abandoned in the desert after AppleJack wouldn’t come back to Ponyville after the rodeo.” Vinyl said.

A cutaway shows a past MLP episode, The Last Roundup. Pinkie kept bragging to Rarity about the cherry-changas and chimicherries as her and Rarity were riding a railroad hoofcar back to Ponyville. “Oh when we get back, you’re gonna get it, Rainbow Dash!” Rarity threatened her.

“Oh and make her eat dirt!” the Dirty Bubble suggested to Rarity as he floated beside her. Rarity just looked at the Dirty Bubble curiously. “In addition to the ‘gonna get it’ thing.” Rarity started to smile mischievous.

One episode later, cider was knocked out of Rainbow’s hoof and onto the ground. Rainbow started to get furious and started drinking the cider right off the dirty ground. “Thank you very much for your suggestion, Mr. Bubble.” Rarity thanked the Dirty Bubble and gave him a ruby.

“Oh please, Mr. Bubble is my irriating pink cousin.” The Dirty Bubble complained.

“Its bath time, kiddies!” Mr. Bubble said. “I make getting clean almost as fun as getting dirty!”

“Oh I like him!” Rarity said.

“I don’t; he’s the complete opposite of me.” The Dirty Bubble said. The cutaway ends.

"Now get your plot to the park!" Octy demanded.

"Fine, Miss Bossy McBossypants." Vinyl said as she climbed out of bed. "Did you at least pack lunch for me?"

"Certainly." Octy said as she held out Vinyl’s bagged lunch for her.

"Thanks. It better not be egg salad again." Vinyl hoped.

“Just to be happy what you got. If you don’t like it, sell it on Lunchbay.com or something.” Octy suggested. Vinyl takes her lunch angrily and walks out the door. I gotta say, Vinyl is a bit more fussy than I would’ve thought. She’s normally a laid-back type of pony. I guess mornings don’t agree with her. I’m the same way. So, Vinyl Scratch walks over to the park and starts up her community service hours. She picks up trash with a pointy stick and places them in the trash bag over her shoulder. She has been cleaning the park for a few hours, but she had her MP3 player with her to keep her occupied, but it wasn’t much; she thought she could be in better places than here. When she stops and rests on a bench, a police pony comes up to her and gets her back up on her hooves. No time to rest when it comes to criminal punishments.

As Vinyl reached her sixth hour, the police pony came up to her said, "Alright Vinyl, lunch break."

"Finally!" Vinyl cried out. She walks over to a park bench, sits down, and takes out her lunch out of the brown bag. She observes her sandwich and makes a disappointed face. "Oh great, egg salad again! I keep telling Octavia that I don't like egg salad, dude!"

"Have you even tried it yet?" I asked as I was sitting next to her. "We can trade. I've already had grilled cheese yesterday, but it was all I had, and I'm kinda in the mood for some egg salad. Want to trade?"

"Sure." Vinyl said as she gave me my sandwich.

"AH HA! Fooled you! Now I got two sandwiches!” I teased her as I ate them both and then burped. “Pardon me. Lawl!”

“Yeah, gee thanks.” Vinyl said sarcastically.

“Instead, I’ll give you a coupon for a free pizza at my shop. It’s better than a boring ol sandwich!” I offered.

"Yeah, gee thanks!” Vinyl said excitedly.

“Was that sarcasm?” I asked.

“No, the other one was.” Vinyl said.

“Hm, weird. The other one sounded nothing like sarcasm.” I thought.

"What are you doing here anyway?" Vinyl asked.

"I'm cleaning the park like you!” I said.

"Community service?" Vinyl asked.

"No, I'm volunteering." I said. "This park was sure a mess. I came here with Rarity and Fluttershy during our lunch breaks. They said it was a friendship lesson. I think Aqua’s around too. What about you?"

"Uhh... me too! I'm also volunteering!" Vinyl lied.

"Lawl yeah. What a coincidence." I said. "So how's the DJ business going along?"

"It's going great! All these awesome parties, and stuff! Its wicket sick dude!" Vinyl said.

"How about Octy? How's she doing?" I asked.

"Oh she's doing fine living in my house." Vinyl said. "After she was all alone in the streets, I couldn't refuse helping a friend out."

“You know, months ago you said you didn’t even know her. You know the time Bonnie and Lyra had that argument.” I said.

“Meh, after I kept hearing about her, I was like, what the hay? Might as well meet her since everypony thinks we know eachother.” Vinyl said.

"Happy face." I smiled. "That is so nice of you Vinyl! But by the looks of Octy, it looked she was rich. Boy, was I unright.”

"Heh, yeah." Vinyl chuckled. "Yo Flare, have you ever had a dream?"

"I've had many dreams sista." I said. "One of my dreams was moving to Ponyville and make new friends, and my wish came true!"

"Anything else?" Vinyl asked.

"I've always wanted to win the lotto!" I said excitedly.

"Don't we all wish that?" Vinyl asked and chuckled.

“Sometimes I wish to go back to my childhood and see all the cool things I miss today that probably nobody remembers until I remind them now.” I started up my list and it goes like this:
“Number 1: Orange tapes. So many orange tapes! Especially from the Rugrats movies.
Number 2: Keeping everything that’s important to me inside of one little box. With more detail: a Spacemaker box.
Number 3: Playing Windows 98 Solitaire. Remember that palm tree cover or the hand carrying the three cards and the one other card slips out of the sleeve?
Number 4: The Let’s Go Fishing game.
Number 5: Staring at the glow in the dark stars as you go to bed.
Number 6: That pain after you step on one of Barbie’s combs.
Number 7: The importance of parachute day. Everypony gathers around the rainbow parachute and starts shaking it up and down.
Number 8: A show that makes grocery shopping look more fun: Super Market Sweep.
Number 9: Learning what art is all about: Kid Pix.
Number 10: Finding your way around town: those town rugs that you see in every Kindergarden or First Grade classroom.
Number 11: The little gold books on your shelf.
Number 12: The coolest bedroom you’ve ever seen: Hey Arnold’s bedroom
Number 13: The longest cheese structure you’ve ever seen from The Goofy Movie: the Leaning Tower of Cheeza.
Number 14: Trying to play one of these recorders but failed.
Number 15: Reading (and touching) the Rainbow Fish book.
Number 16: Destroying your tongue on an Altoids Mango Sour.
Number 17: Walking into a classroom and seeing the Holy Grail of science education: Bill Nye the Science Guy.
Number 18: Still tearing up after Littlefoot’s mom passes away in the first Land Before Time movie.
Number 19: Building those cool little cardboard planes.
Number 20: The best day of the year: the Book Fair!
Number 21: The dynamic duo: Frog and Toad and after reading them now, they don’t seem to make as much sense to you as it did when you were little.
Number 22: Throwing those little rubber ticklish tentacle balls around your room.
Number 23: The Recess gang.
Number 24: Entering the busy world of Mr. Scarry.
Number 25: Proposing with those round wooden ring boxes with the ladybugs inside.
Number 26: Your pal Bob Baker keeping you company when you were home sick.
Number 27: The cereal jackpot: Lion King spoons.
Number 28: The perfect summer treat: Minute Maid Juice Bars!
Number 29: Knowing this rhyme by heart: Chicka Chicka Boom Boom.
Number 30: Brownies from another universe: the ones with the M&Ms in it.
And finally, number 31: chatting with a robot on SmartChild Instant Messenger.”

“Wow, that’s a… that’s a pretty big list you have there.” Vinyl said surprisingly. “I remember half those things.”

"Lawl yeah." I chuckled. "I also want to know what's the color of your eyes?"

"A famous DJ never reveals all her secrets at once.” Vinyl said.

"Oh c'mon, you're not that famous." I corrected her. "You're a local DJ, not an international DJ. Lawl, lawl, lawl, lawl, lawl!”

"Stop laughing at me!" Vinyl yelled.

"I'm not laughing at you, I'm lawling at you. There's a difference to that sista." I said.

Vinyl let out a sigh and put her hooves on her cheeks. "You're right dude. I'm just a plain ol DJ that not many ponies know."

"Don't worry, I'm sure we can think of something to make you a little more famous." I said.

“I mean not even many ponies in town know who I am!” Vinyl complained.

A cutaway shows Derpy going over Vinyl and sits next to her on a bench (much like her and me doing right now). “Hey, Vinyl!” Derpy said.

“Oh yo, Ditzy! What up?” Vinyl asked.

“Vinyl, you’ll never guess who was in town yesterday! DJ PON-3!” Derpy cried out in excitement.

“But Derpy, I’m DJ PON-3.” Vinyl corrected her.

“What?” Derpy asked curiously. “But DJ PON-3 has that awesome party attitude, wicket hair, and totally cool sungla-“ just then Vinyl puts on her trendy purple sunglasses, because she didn’t have them on before, and then Derpy recognized her just like that. “DJ PON-3! Oh it is so cool to see you again! But you’ll need to help me. My friend Vinyl Scratch is missing. Have you seen her?” Vinyl then takes off her sunglasses. “Oh Vinyl! There you are! You just missed DJ PON-3! Stay here, alright? I want you to meet her when she comes back.” Then Vinyl puts on her sunglasses again. “DJ PON-3!” The cutaway ends.

I began thinking for a second, thinking of ways to make DJ PON-3 a little more famous, but then it hit me. Actually, no it didn’t, I was able to dodge the baseball that was about to hit me. I’m not going to fall for that again! "I think I might know of a way to make you a national DJ.” I said.

"National?" Vinyl asked.

"Not as good as international, but better than local." I said. "What if you were a radio station DJ? Entertaining the thousands of ponies around Equestria that listen to the radio?"

"Oh I've been dreaming of being a radio DJ my whole life!” Vinyl said happily.

"Soooo, why didn't you do it?" I asked.

"Oh I dunno." Vinyl said, and after a few moments she realizes, "Oh yeah that's right, I can't afford a radio station."

"What? Are there even any radio stations in this part of Equestria?" I asked.

"YES!" Vinyl yelled. "Wait... no. All the other radio stations are too far from here. I tried the radio station in Manehatten once, but it wasn't hiring. Pretty bogus, don’cha think?"

"I don't believe it." I shook my head and said.

"That I wasn't hired?” Vinyl asked.

"No. You're really from Manehatten?" I asked.

"I didn't say that." Vinyl corrected me. Vinyl and I just looked at eachother awkwardly for a few seconds.

"So how are we going to get you on the radio?" I asked.

"I guess we'll just have to make a radio station." Vinyl said.

"Or buy one! There's an abandoned radio station somewhere near the San Palomino Desert." I advised her.

"All the way out there?" Vinyl asked.

"Oh just at the border of it connecting the desert with the greenlands of Equestria." I said. "I passed through it while I was on my way to Ponyville from Mareami, and since it's abandoned, it shouldn't cost too much. Now how much you got?"

Vinyl takes out some bits out of her pocket and started counting them. "10... 20... 30... 40 bits." Vinyl said.

"You don't carry a purse?" I asked.

"Only fillies carry purses." Vinyl said.

"But you're a.... nevermind. We're gonna need more than that." I said.

"How much do you have?" Vinyl asked.

"No more investments!" I yelled. "I'm saving for expanding my shop into Canterlot. How about going through bank account or something? Or ask Octavia?"

Vinyl stayed silent for a sec, and then she looked down with her hoof on her chin and began to think. A few hours went by and Vinyl returned home to Octavia. Vinyl was waiting for dinner to be served. Wow, we just had lunch and now she’s having dinner already.

"Hurry it up, Octy. I'm starving!" Vinyl yelled.

"Okay, okay! Dinner's ready. In the name of Celestia, you are so impatient!" Octy complained while putting soup and salad on the table.

"What in the living record is this?” Vinyl asked.

"A garden salad with minestrone soup." Octy said.

"Again? We always have this!" Vinyl complained. "It's so boring, sister. Why can't we have something good?"

"It's the fanciest I can afford. You know I’m allergic to anything not fancy.” Octy reminded her.

"Oh c'mon you have like 120 bits!" Vinyl complained. "Let's go to the Ponyville Bistro!"

"The Ponyville Bistro? Dear please." Octy said."We must save all the money we can get. Otherwise we'll just have to move on the streets, and I don't want to do that. Do you?"

"No of course not. Relax dude!" Vinyl said.

"Good. Now if you please enjoy your meal?" Octy suggested. A few minutes went by, Octavia was enjoying her meal, but Vinyl obviously wasn't. She was just stirring up her soup, making it look more like vomit than it did before.

"Octy? We've been friends for a long, long time, am I right?” Vinyl asked.

"Yes, I assume so. Only because ponies kept saying we knew each other at first.” Octy said.

"Like, remember you gave me that half of your sandwich?" Vinyl asked. "You sure taught me the true meaning of friendship that day, sister!”

"Right.” Octy agreed, but at the same time not caring.

"And I've done alot for you too, haven't I?" Vinyl asked.

"Keeping us in good shape in giving us food and shelter, yeah I guess so." Octy agreed. Vinyl then stands up and heads over to Octavia and she places her hoof around Octy.

"And since we're such good friends, and friends help eachother out, how about you loan me some money so I can afford my own radio station, what do you say?" Vinyl asked with puppy dog eyes.

"Uhh... no." Octy said.

"HA HA, good one Octy!" Vinyl laughed. "Seriously, may I have some money?"

“Nope.” Octy said.

"Can you at least think about it?” Vinyl asked.

“I did think about it. Didn’t you hear me say ‘uhhh’ before I said no?” Octy asked.

“But still, why not?!” Vinyl asked angrily.

"Because my dear DJ friend, we need this money to stay in shape." Octy said.

“No, we exercise to stay in shape.” Vinyl corrected her.

“I mean, we need the money to make a living.” Octy said.

"But if you invest, then we'll be rich!" Vinyl said excitedly. “Think about it, Octy! The fanciest food whenever you desire!”

"As much as I love to help you out, I can't." Octy said. "I'm sorry Vinyl, but I'm in control of my own money. Thank you very much."

"But, I..." Vinyl stuttered.

"Nope. I made my decision." Octy said.

"But Octyyyyyyyy!” Vinyl whined.

"I promise when you earn enough money to buy a radio station, you can do that. I'm not in control of your funding." Octy said. "But it's my money, and I don't want to invest on something I won't be a part of."

"You can be a part of it if you want." Vinyl offered.

"Sorry, not interested." Octy said.

"Octyyyyyyy!” Vinyl whined again.

“Listen to you, you sound like one of the Llamas with hats.” Octy pointed out.

“Octyyyyyyyyyyyy!” Vinyl whined again, again.

"This conversation is over." Octy said as got up from her chair, took her dishes, and walked to the kitchen to put them in the sink. Vinyl just stood there, thinking about her next move.

Later that night, Octavia just finished brushing her teeth, and now she's off to bed. She fluffs her pillow, turns off the light, lies down, and falls asleep instantly, which is something I rarely do, but I’m not the main character of this chapter. Vinyl opens the door very slowly and quietly, even though it did squeak a bit. As Vinyl tip-toes inside Octavia's room, she spots her pocket book hanging on a hook on the closet door. Vinyl then tip-hooves over to the pocket book, but as she does so, Octavia rolls around her bed which startles Vinyl. She lets out a gasp, and then she suddenly covers her mouth to make sure she doesn’t wake her up with her carbon dioxide. The bright side to that, Octavia was still sound asleep and Vinyl gave at least one living plant a gift. Vinyl then takes Octavia's pocket book and then tip-hooves out the door. Vinyl runs to her room giggling, and when she gets there, she jumps on her bed with Octy’s purse.

“HA HA! I got it!” Vinyl said excitedly, but quietly enough. “I know this is wrong, super-wrong, but I promise I’ll pay her back once I earn all that money from radio fame! Maybe I should invite Prince to my show and have him provide a Harry Potter story for my show. It’ll be known as: Harry Potter and the Half Blood Artist Formerly Known as Prince!” So Vinyl opens up Octy’s pocket book and goes through it, and after a while she couldn't find any money in there. Vinyl growled.
"Now I have to go back in there!" Vinyl complained. Vinyl gets back up and sneaks back to Octavia's room, and tip-hooves inside. As she tip-hooved inside, it kept making a xylophone-like sound. She looked down and saw the huge xylophone she was stepping on and then she used her magic to move it aside. First off, she needed to erase evidence so she places Octavia's purse back where she found it. Vinyl then looks through Octavia's dressers quietly and quickly. She looks on her night stand, under the bed, and even her medicine cabinet. Just as Vinyl was about to give up, she found her money inside a box near her closet. Vinyl smiles as she sneaks over to the closet and she was about to take the box with Octy’s money inside, but she suddenly stopped.

“Wait… this is too easy.” Vinyl whispered to herself. She then takes out a can of laser spray ionization and sprays it around the box, thinking lasers would appear, but none appeared. “Hmm.” Vinyl moaned to herself. She then takes the box of money and sneaks out of Octy’s bedroom with it. Meanwhile, in Octy’s room, the ionization spray blows over towards Octy’s jewelry box and some pressure sensors appear around it, but Vinyl doesn’t notice since she was already out of the room. When Vinyl got out of the room and went back to her own bedroom, she opens the box and finds a mother lode of bits inside. "Jackpot!" Vinyl whispered excitedly.

Morning came, and Vinyl left the house a little earlier than usual. Vinyl runs over to my shop to let me know of the ‘good’ news. I was just about to open the store when she showed up. "Flare! I have some money!"

"Hello, Vinyl! How are you?” I asked.

“Flare! I got the money. I can finally buy that radio station!” Vinyl said excitedly.

“Wow, you’re really no fun to talk to, y’know that?” I asked.

“Sorry. Just really psyched about this!” Vinyl said excitedly.

“What about Psyche?” I asked.

"The radio station, remember?" Vinyl asked.

"Lawl I remember, Vinyl." I nodded. "But still, I can’t get a simple hello? All I have is good news? It’s no fun talking to somepony if they can’t even give you a simple hello.”

"That doesn't matter dude. I have enough money to buy that radio station near the San Palomino Desert” Vinyl said.

"Mmmmhm." I nodded. "Do you even know how much the station costed?" I said ‘costed’ on purpose. I know that’s not the right way of saying it.

"Well... uhh... no." Vinyl admitted.

"Exactly.” I nodded. "We didn't get a price yet. Vinyl you're so silly you silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly…” I inhaled. “Silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly Pooh bear.”

"Alright, alright I get it." Vinyl said. "So let's go buy that station!"

"What do you need me fer?" I asked.

"I need you fer... I mean... oh great now you got me saying it!" Vinyl complained.

"Yeah I’m good at that, aren’t I?” I asked with a mischievous smile.

"I’ll need you and your friends’ help in setting up the station." Vinyl said.

"The Noble Six shall rise!" I yelled out. "Mischievious face!"

“Uh huh. So you and your friends going to help?” Vinyl asked.

“Huh? Oh, right, the helping. Alright, sure, why not?” I accepted.

“Can you show a little more emotion?” Vinyl asked.

“YAY! This is more exciting than a dog when his master is home!” I said sort of excitedly.

A cutaway shows a pony driving his carriage up to his driveway, and the dog that’s inside the house runs up to the front window and starts jumping up and down. “Yay! Master’s home!” the dog cried out in excitement.

“You’re late, slave.” The cat said. The cutaway ends.

“Is that really the best you got?” Vinyl asked.

“I just got up not too long ago! I’m still tired! I don’t normally go to work this early.” I complained.

Vinyl and me, along with Engie, Crystal, and Psyche went to the abandoned radio station in the desert and we all pitched in and bought it. We went inside the station to take a look around, but everything was dirty and broken. "Ugh, yuck! This place could use some cleaning!" Psyche complained.

"Oh Psyche, you don't need to worry too much! This place looks just fine!" Crystal said, but then a spider landed next to her. "AAAH SPIDER!" she cried as she jumped on Engie’s arms. Crystal was shaking, but then she noticed she was on Engie’s arms, and she gave him an embarrassing smile. Engie just drops her on the ground. “OW! Rude!” she yelled.

"Why are we here again?" Psyche asked.

"You can't expect me to clean this place up myself! DOY!" I said in an obvious tone. "Engineer's great with maintenance, so he can get everything working again in no time. You too Psyche! Crystal can help me clean this place up."

"Nuh uh! There’s no way I’m getting near those spider webs!" Crystal complained.

"Relax, Crystal!" Engie said as he placed his hoof on her shoulder. "It's the spiders you should be afraid of, not the webs. Besides, you're bigger than the spiders."

"And you'd be doing the smaller bugs a favor." Psyche added.

"What am I gonna do?" Vinyl asked.

"You're gonna be doing the bestest, funnest, partiest, part!" I said as I placed y arm around Vinyl. "You're gonna be making the scripts, and planning. You have to know what to you'll be talking about or what kind of music you'll play while being live on the radio!"

"But the question remains, what genre of music are you gonna be playing? Rap, dubstep, jazz, country, you name it!" Psyche explained.

“Polka.” I added.

"I dunno. I have not yet decided yet." Vinyl said.

"You said 'yet' twice." Engie pointed out.

"You ready? Let's do this!" I yelled.

And so, Engie and Psyche started working on the equipment, Crystal was dusting the place up, and Vinyl was on a type writer trying to figure out what to do, and I went over to Vinyl to see what was going on with her work. “Sup sista?” I asked.

"Everything's goin great dude!" Vinyl said excitedly. "The genre of music that I wanna do is dubstep and house."

"Vinyl Scratch is in the house!" I said.

"Yep!" Vinyl said.

“I prefer classic rock or polka though.” I said.

“Sorry, man.” Vinyl said. Crystal then went over to Vinyl and used the duster on her face. Vinyl spit out the dust that was in her mouth. "What was that for?"

"I thought you had a spider on your nose.” Crystal said.

"What's with you and spiders?" Vinyl asked.

"Trust me, you'll thank me for this." Crystal said.

Meanwhile, Psyche and Engie were trying to get some mainframe working. Psyche was making sure the controls work, and Engie was getting it working through the power supply underneath it. "Is it working now?" Engie asked.

"No, not yet. Are there any unattached wires in there?" Psyche asked.

"Yeah I see one." Engie said.

Psyche looked through the instruction manual and said, "Oh I see, you must put the green wire and brown wires together.”

"Whatever ya say." Engie said as he began to do so.

Psyche looked at the manual again while leaning on the controls and then he said, "Oh, wait Engie, no!" Psyche got struck by the electric in the system afterwords. He started screaming as he was being electrocuted. He let go of the controls and the static stopped.

"Ah'm sorry, can ya repeat that Psyche?" Engie asked.

"Nevermind." Psyche said as he was all burnt up and coughing up smoke.

Meanwhile, Crystal was peeking her head inside a room and saw a spider just hanging there. Crystal takes out a notebook and writes the following down: "I am about to experience combat with a spider, I may not return, but I know for a fact that I will achieve this, and everypony will remember the name - Crystal Iceblast." Crystal takes the duster out and tip-hooves over to the spider web. When the spider turns around, Crystal hides, but when the spider's not looking, Crystal continues tip-hooving to it. When Crystal was really close to the spider web to clean it up, the spider turns around.

“WHAT?! What do you want?” the spider yelled at her. "Why would you want to destroy my home I worked so hard to build? Go on! SHOO!"

Crystal looked down in a sad tone. "Okay." she said as she then walked away.

Meanwhile, I was putting the finishing touches in the DJ room. I even placed a mini Princess Luna bobble head on the desk. "And there we go! Perfect!" he said. "The room is all ready to go! Happy face! Better go check on Vinyl." I walked over to the other room and found Vinyl on the type writer still. "Hey, Vinyl! Found a leet name for this station yet?"

"Oh that part I did first!" Vinyl said. "Scratch FM! Like it?"

"Sounds leet, but I also figured you were gonna name it that so I’m not really THAT impressed.” I said.

“Huh.” Vinyl said.

“Also Scratch FM is taken.” I said.

“Really, where?” Vinyl asked.

“Lincolnshire, UK.” I said.

“How about Vinyl Scratch FM?” Vinyl asked.

“Searching.” I said as I took out my phone to search up the name. My phone then vibrated. “Oh look, Keith Pwni poked you!” I then tapped on my phone to poke him back on Facebook. “You poked Keith! Ok, now searching up the name ‘Vinyl Scratch FM’. Ok first off, I see a few pictures of you, and even one with Octavia.”

“I still don’t get how everypony figured we knew each other before a few months ago.” Vinyl said.

“Oooo there’s a cosplay of you!” I said as I showed her my phone so she can see her cosplay.

“Wow, I look beautiful.” Vinyl said.

“Ok now I found something that says Vinyl Scratch [Turntable.fm], Vinyl Scratch FM Blackmill MP3 download? What are these things? You know what? I think you’re safe, Vinyl.” I said.

“Ok then. Vinyl Scratch FM it is!” Vinyl cried out in excitement.

Meanwhile, Psyche was on the upper areas of the radio antenna, trying to get it operational, while Engie was getting it ready from the power box on the bottom. "Aaaaaaaaand finished!" Engie said. "The radio station should be operational!" Engie then takes out a walk talkie and starts speaking through it. "Is the station working, Crystal?"

"Sure is!" Crystal said from the other side.

"Hot dog!" Engie said excitedly. "Ooooo, dibs on hot dogs for lunch! C'mon, Psyche!" Just then, Engie accidently knocks into the ladder and Psyche starts to lose his balance. The ladder leans away from the antenna and it starts standing on its two feet on the ground. Psyche was feeling pretty nervous, but was relieved that he didn't fall. While Psyche started climbing down, one of his feathers landed on the ladder and it started falling down with Psyche not even half way down. Psyche crashed hard on the ground, with stars floating on top of his head.

"Did ya'll forget to fly?" Engie asked him as he walked away. Psyche growled.

Vinyl and I went to the front of the station along with the other three, and I was putting up the sign with my magic and Vinyl was saying where she wanted as I was moving it for her.

"Alright a little to the right." Vinyl instructed me. "Now, a little to the left. Up a little bit. Upper. Upper."

"There's no such word as upper." Psyche said.

"Upper, Flare. Upper." Vinyl instructed me.

"Why do I even bother?" Psyche asked to himself.

"Downer. Downer. Righter. Lefter. Lefter. Lefter. Righter. A little more lefter. Just a teenie bit righter. Now alot righter! A little lefter, and.... PERFECT! Right there!" Vinyl instructed me.

"Well Vinyl, how does it look?" I asked.
"Mwah!” she kissed. “Perfection!" We all looked at the new Vinyl Scratch FM sign on the building and the once was dusty and old abandoned building turned into a fully operational radio station.

After hours of work, the radio station was finally finished. Vinyl was just putting the finishing touches. “There we go!" Vinyl said. "The station is done. All thanks to the Noble….. Four, since Aqua and Blaze didn’t bother coming.”

"No problemo, sista! It’s what we do!” I said.

“All we do is fool around all the time, point out of the obvious, and argue a lot though.” Engie said.

“We do other things too, Engie!” I corrected him.

"Ready to take this station up for a spin, Vinyl?" Crystal asked.

"You know it, Cris!” Vinyl said.

Crystal started shaking her head. “No, please…. no.”

"Alright, first let's advertise! Then we'll get on the air. First thing tomorrow!" Psyche said. “Dismissed.”

“Who made you in charge?” Engie complained.

After a while, Vinyl returns home to Octavia. Vinyl started tip-hoofing up to her room; all the lights are out. While she was sneaking inside, the lights suddenly turn on, and Octavia was waiting on the Living Room chair.

"Out late again, Vinyl?" Octy asked as she took a sip from her tea.

"No, no!" Vinyl lied. "I was, um...." Vinyl uses her magic to pick flowers from outside and give it to Octy. "Picking you some flowers! Yeah!"

Octavia went up to Vinyl and knocks the flowers away. "Hey, why did you do that for?!” Vinyl yelled.

"You were out partying late again, weren't you?" Octy asked.

"Uhh.... yeah. Yeah I was partying late. Sorry, Octy." Vinyl lied.

"Vinyl you can't keep coming back late. I need help with chores around the house." Octy said.

"Well I'll have you know that I have important stuff to do. That's why I come back late." Vinyl said.

"Partying is not as important as keeping this house clean." Octy said.

"Aw c'mon! This place is fine!" Vinyl said.

“That’s because I cleaned it all up myself.” Octy said.

“See? You don’t need me!” Vinyl said. “You can take care of everything yourself, right?”

"Oh really?" Octy gives Vinyl a glare. "The bathrooms are dirty, there are clothes everywhere, the lawn needs to be mowed, we need to clean the attic, we need to get some food for the fridge, and-“

Vinyl gave Octavia a confusing look, and all Vinyl heard from her was, "Bla bla bla bla bla bla bla."

"Do you understand?" Octy asked.

"Huh?” Vinyl asked as she shook her head really fast, trying to snap out of her ‘staring-in-space’ situation. “Sure, Octy. Sure. Whatever you say."

"Good. Now please get some sleep. I need help with chores in the morning." Octy instructed her. Vinyl felt relieved because Octavia still doesn’t know that she took money from her. So Vinyl went off to bed for the night. Soon it was 5:00 in the morning. Vinyl got up bright and early and starting sneaking out of the house while Octavia was still sleeping. Vinyl went over to her new radio station over near the desert. Spike and I were there waiting for her.

"There you are Vinyl! We were waiting for you!" I said.

"You guys waited for me?" Vinyl asked.

"I was thinking you might've needed some help with your first day." I said.

"In return for some gems." Spike said. I then punched Spike's shoulder so he’d shut up about that. "Ow! Violent much?"

“She doesn’t need to know.” I whispered to him. I then said out loud to Vinyl, “He’s doing it for some extra money.”

“How is that different from what I said?” Spike asked.

"So you ready?" I asked.

"I was born ready!" Vinyl yelled.

“No you weren’t. You didn’t even know what DJing was when you were born.” I corrected her.

“Don’t underestimate me, bro.” Vinyl said.

So the three of us walked inside the station and got into our posts. Vinyl sat at her desk and put on a head set over her head. Spike and I went into the control room to get everything online.

"You ready Vinyl?" I asked.

"Did I not say I was born ready?" Vinyl reminded me.

"Did I not say you didn’t even know what DJing even meant when you were born?” I asked.

“Did I not say don’t underestimate me?” Vinyl asked.

“Did I not say…. oh wait, that’s where the conversation ended.” I said.

Spike started counting down, "Coming live in…. 5... 4... 3... 2..." Just then the 'AIR' sign lit up, and I turned on a music track in the background.

"Goooooood morning, Vietnam…. and Equestria!" Vinyl yelled. "Welcome to Vinyl Scratch FM, coming to you live from the abandoned radio station near the border to the Equestrian desert! I am your host Vinyl Scratch, but you can call me DJ PON-3, and man do we have alot of cool music for you to listen to dudes! Not to mention lots of stories!" And so it seemed Vinyl had post-mature caterpillars in her tummy, but she so far she was doing an amazing job with her new radio career!

A few hours went by and Vinyl was just finishing up a song. "And that was Friendly Advise by the Elements of Music!" Vinyl said as she ended the song. "You know? Being a radio DJ has been great so far! If it weren't for the Noble Six, I wouldn't be here!"

"Aww yeah Spike! Did you hear that?" I asked him from the control room.

"Looks like your clan is gonna be famous, dude!" Spike said.

“It’s not a clan, it’s a mafia.” I corrected him. “See we have dem Italian accents and big baseball bats.”

"That's right the Noble Six, the newest clan in the kingdom!" Vinyl said. "Next to the Mane Six. They are a backup friendship group. While the Mane Six does the 'Elements of.... something' work, and the Noble Six backs them up! Well, they haven't done anything yet. But they will! Also this broadcast, brought to you by Porker's BBQ!"

"No! She was suppose to say Flare's Pizza Parlor!" I complained as I knocked on the window and held up a sign that says 'Flare's Pizza Parlor'.

"Huh? Oh and that's right, and Flare's Pizza Parlor, located in Ponyville, near the park." Vinyl said. "Alright, time to take some callers! We have Braeburn from Appleloosa! Braeburn, you're on the air!"

"Ah am? Yee haw!" Braeburn cried out in excitement. "Ah never been heard on the radio befer!"

"Alright, settle down!" Vinyl said. "So what's up?"

"Ah have a warehouse overfilled with apples right about now. So come down to mah orchard over at Appleloosa!" Braeburn advertised. "We have a sales on apple pies, apple fritters, apple crisp-“

"Alright, thanks for callin!" Vinyl interrupted as she cuts him out. "We now have Water Gun from the Crystal Mountains. Hello Water!"

"Sup sista?” Water asked from the intercom.

"Is that Water?" I asked as I ran out of the control room, grabbed Vinyl’s headset and placed it on my head. "Gimmie that! Hey sis!"

"Hey bro! You work at Scratch FM?" Water asked.

"Hay yeah!" I said excitedly.

"Cool!" Water said.

"How's that world trip going on?" I asked.

"It's going good! How is life in Ponyville?" Water asked.

"There's no place like home, sis." I said. "But I less then three it here!”

"Well, I am happy face for you, bro. I plan on coming down to see you when I’m done with my world trip!" Water said.

"Excellent! I'll talk to you later!" I said.

“Also, call mom, she worries.” Water said.

“I’ll be sure not to. Bye, Water!” I said.

"Bye!" Water said as she hung up.

"Here ya go!" I said as I gave the headset back to Vinyl.

"Uh huh." Vinyl said in an awkward tone. "Well our next song goes out to an actor that really inspired me. Robin Williams. The robin comedian that is currently making his next movie out in Applewood right now. This is for you: Rockin’ Robin!”

Meanwhile in Ponyville, Merry May was heading back home from the market after running a couple of errands when suddenly, her bags tears up from the bottom and all her groceries fall on the ground, but this story isn’t about her, sorry, Merry May. Another time. Merry May groans at me (the narrator) as I said that. We move onto Octavia who was taking a stroll around town. She starts talking to herself. "Ah, what a beautiful day!" she said. "Seems pretty weird around here without Vinyl around though. She's been away too much. Oh well, better head to jug practice. Yes, I do play more than one instrument. I sometimes play in a band with my cousin Fiddlesticks."

“Howdy, cousin!” a pony that looks exactly like Octavia, except her coat is yellow and mane is blue and she wears overalls, a bandana and a hat appears and said.

“Hello, Fiddlesticks.” Octy said to her.

“I appeared in the Luna Eclipsed episode.” Fiddlesticks said.

“That’s nice.” Octy said, not knowing a word she said. After looking around randomly for a few moments, Octavia sees a poster with Vinyl Scratch on it hanging on the wall. "Huh? Is that Vinyl? That.... that is! Vinyl Scratch FM? Since when did she own a radio station?" Octavia thought to herself for a second, and then she gasped. "Oh no!" Octavia runs back into her house faster than a snail on a rocket (yeah, I have a weird way putting things), she runs to her room, and looks for her wallet. "My wallet! It's gone!" Octy cried. "You are so dead, Vinyl!" Octavia then quickly puts on a yellow jumpsuit, takes out a katana, and then the Kill Bill theme starts playing in the background as Octavia stands on her hind legs behind a yellow background with the words ‘The 4th film by Octavia Melody - Kill Vinyl – Volume 1 – Written and Directed by Octavia Melody and Crimson Flare Gun’ on it. Yeah, that’s right, I’m taking credit in making this! This is my story!

Back at the radio station, Vinyl just finished another song. "And that was Fork Colt by Soundorchard." Vinyl said. "Time to continue taking phone calls. We have Ditzy Do from Ponyville. What's up Derpy?"

"Hey Vinyl! I just put food in my microwave, but it's not heating up." Derpy said. This joke happened already so let’s meet up with Spike and I in the control room. "Hey Flare, don't you find this a little weird?" Spike asked.

"It's a radio station and I’m in it. Of course it’s weird!” I said.

"No, I mean there is something a little off here. How did Vinyl get the money for this station in the first place?" Spike asked.

"She said Octavia gave it to her." I said.

"She did?" Spike asked.

"Yeah." I said.

"I dunno guys, that doesn't sound like Octavia." Psyche said.

"Of course we don't sound like Octavia, dum dum!" I said.

"That's not what I said." Psyche corrected me. "You think Octavia would just give Vinyl the money to buy a radio station? They're broke!"

"Oh, and you sound like you hang with Octavia and Vinyl. Don't worry Psyche, what's done is done. I believe Vinyl. I don't think she'd steal from Octavia." I said.

"Hey Flare can you get me a coffee?" Psyche asked.

I stared at Psyche in silence, but I eventually said, "You do it."

"I can't. I have to make sure the signal stays strong." Psyche said.

“Ah’ll do it.” Engie offered.

“Engie, shush! Psyche and I are talking!” I instructed him.

“Yeah, seriously Engie. Interrupt much?” Psyche agreed.

"Anyways Psyche, you can always come back to the signal after you get your coffee.” I informed him.

Psyche glared at me. "Fine, I'll do it." he said as he started to get up and walk out.

"NO I'LL DO IT!" I yelled as I ran passed Psyche, also knocking into him. Psyche spins around as I run by and then rocks around with his eyes rolling around, and then he collapsed on the floor.

“Ah think he’s havin’ a hangover.” Engie said about Psyche.

Back at Vinyl's room, Vinyl was just finishing talking to Derpy. "I hope your problem gets solved soon, sister! Thanks for calling!" Vinyl said as she hangs up. "Alright next caller..... uhh....." Vinyl froze as she saw Octavia's name on the caller ID. "Octavia from Ponyville."

"VINYL HOW COULD YOU?!" Octavia cried on the other line.

"I do not know what you're talking about." Vinyl said.

"Don't play innocent with me! You stole my money!" Octavia yelled. "You used my money to buy that abandoned radio station, and now we're going to go broke because of you!"

"Look, I'm doing us both a favor!" Vinyl yelled. "This radio station is gonna make us rich! You just wait and see!"

"Vinyl..... there is a reason why we live together. You know why? Because we both needed the money, and I trusted you!" Octy explained. "But now that trust is long gone."

"Octy, don't get so ahead of yourself. I'll pay you back, I promise!" Vinyl promised.

“Oooo loan sharking.” Spike commented.

"No, Vinyl. No." Octy declined. "I can't accept your money. I can't accept living with you anymore, and you know what? I had a real good deal on the Royal Canterlot orchestra. I was eventually going to give you the money for the radio station ,but now it seems that you care more about DJing more than your own friends."

"No, Octy! That's not true!" Vinyl cried.

"Goodbye Vinyl." Octy said.

"No, wait!" Vinyl cried, but Octavia already hung up. Vinyl needed to stop and think for a moment. "Uhh... yeah, that was a prank caller. We'll be right back after this commercial break." And suddenly, we went off-live.

I was standing near the door with a shocking look on my face. "Vinyl.... you.... lied to me."

"Look Flare, I'm sorry! I didn't know she was gonna know!" Vinyl yelled.

"Octy didn't let you have the money, you stole it!" I yelled at her.

“That’s what I was trying to tell you!” Spike reminded me.

“Oh shush, you never told me jack!” I said to him.

“What about Jack?” Engie asked.

"I can't believe this! I supported you, I helped you set up, and I even sacrificed time from my shop just to help you out! And all this time I was working for a liar?!" I yelled.

"No Flare, you don't understand!" Vinyl yelled.

"Oh I understand completely. You care more about DJing than your own friends! Angry panda face!" I said with an angry look on my face and my mouth kinda looked like a smile because the ends of my lips were up, but I wasn’t. It was more or less like… a scrunch.

“Oh Flare, ya look so cute in that look!” Engie said.

“Thanks, Engie. I’ll give you a blush later, but right now I need to tell Vinyl this.” I said. “Now where was I? Oh yes, you lied, Vinyl, and I don't even think you actually volunteered to clean the park, I think you just had community service because you were forced to, and B-T-W, maybe your name isn't really Vinyl Scratch!"

"I swear, that's my name!” Vinyl yelled. "But yes it's true! It's all true! So, you gonna quit?"

"I was actually just gonna paint your face while you're asleep, but that sounds like a better idea." I agreed. "Send me my last paycheck in the mail. Oh, unless you're gonna steal that too. Tongue face." I then stuck my tongue out at Vinyl and walked out of the station. Spike, Engie, and Psyche heard what happened, and followed me out.

“Now ah don’t have a good reason for shocking Psyche or knocking over his ladder.” Engie said.

“You NEVER had a good reason to shock me or knock over my ladder!” Psyche corrected him.

Vinyl sadly looked down, feeling bad with the whole situation. “What have I done?” she asked herself.

“You stole money from your roommate and lied about it. Isn’t that obvious?” Engie reminded her.

“Oh WOULD YOU GET OUT OF HERE?!” Vinyl yelled.

Later that night, Vinyl went home from the station. Vinyl opened the door and went inside. "Octy? Octy you home?" Vinyl yelled out. Octavia didn't respond. Vinyl kept calling for her and looked from room to room and couldn't find her anywhere, but when she got to her bedroom, her stuff was gone. There was a note on the bed, and Vinyl read it. "Dear Vinyl, Our time together I thought was the best. You were really a good friend. But now I realize that you're a thief and a liar. Thank you for showing me your true colors before I trusted you even more. I'm moved out, and I ain't coming back. I hope you're happy. Goodbye. Octavia." A tear fell out of Vinyl's eye. "What have I done?" she said sadly. "I lost a trust of my best friend, just for my own pleasure! I gotta get Octy back! But how?"

Suddenly, Vinyl started knocking on my trailer door. My eyeball camera activated near the door and stared directly towards Vinyl. "Unless you're here to challenge me to a race on Mario Kart. I don't wanna hear it." I said.

"Flare I need your help dude." Vinyl said.

"I'm sorry, Flare's not home right now. Please leave a message after the beep. BEEEEEP!" I said.

"Flare please, I need to get Octy back!" Vinyl begged. “And since you know my problem, you’re my best bet in getting her back!”

"You got yourself into this. You get yourself out." I said.

"Actually you, Spike, Engie, Psyche, and Crystal helped me." Vinyl corrected me.

"No, we helped you set up your station. You got yourself into this lie." I corrected her. "If you know what's best for yourself and Octy, then you'd know exactly what to do."

"What should I do then?" Vinyl asked.

"How should I know?" I asked. "If you need transportation, I'll do that. That's all I'm giving you. Take some time to think. Also I'm still opened for that Mario Kart thing!"

"No thanks dude. I know just what to do now!" Vinyl said excitedly.

"Oh yeah? What's that?" I asked.

"I need..... PIZZA!" Vinyl yelled.

"OH YEAH! I like your style, sista! Let's go get some pizza!" I said excitedly. Vinyl and I walked over to Flare's Pizza shop and ordered a pizza. After she ate the pizza, she gasped.

"What's wrong? Hot sauce got your tongue? I told you, nopony except a certain amount of ponies can handle that much Mareami Heat pizza." I said.

"No, it's not that." Vinyl said, but then she started turning bright red. "But now that you mention it." Vinyl's ears started steaming, and then she drank all of her cider, and my cider right after.

"Hey I was still drinking that!" I complained.

Vinyl started breathing hard. "Flare?" she said. "I know what I must do."

"Order another pizza?" I asked.

"YES!" Vinyl cried out. "But later; there's something else I must do first."

"What's that?" I asked.

"What kind of transportation did you have in mind?" Vinyl asked.

Vinyl and I then walked outside. "DJ PON-3, I'm about to show you what nopony else has seen before!" I said as I took out some keys and pressed the disarm alarm button. It started to get really windy, and suddenly, a helicopter appears out of the other side of town and started automatically flying towards us. It landed a yard from us. Vinyl was pretty surprised, as she did not expect that. "What is that?" Vinyl asked.

"This is my Wafflecopter!" I said.

“Why Wafflecopter?” Vinyl asked.

“Somepony already took the name Roflcopter. The one that goes ‘SWAH SWAH SWAH SWAH SWAH’, but I have something even better than that! Lemme show you show the necessaries.” I offered as I showed her every detail of my Wafflecopter. “Waffle stick propellers, hay bacon skids, pancake steering wheel, frozen solid low-fat butter hatch, and what’s the fuel of this contraption you may ask?” I opened up the fuel hatch and showed Vinyl the liquid that was inside. “Maple syrup!”

“How the hay did you make maple syrup as fuel?” Vinyl asked.

“Magic.” I said as I snorted twice.

“Well at least it’s cheaper than actual fuel.” Vinyl said.

“The world would truly be a better place if we used alternate fuel sources, like this maple syrup here. With this Wafflecopter here, I’m saving the planet.” I explained.

"Nice!" Vinyl said impressively. "Where did you get it?"

“Remember that episode of Family Feud where one of the questions was ‘something you wouldn’t wanna find in a home’ and one of the guys said ‘naked grandma’?” I asked.

“Yeah, I watched that episode.” Vinyl said.

“Yeah, I liked that episode. Now let’s get moving.” I instructed us.

“But that doesn’t answer my… oh nevermind.” Vinyl shook her head and said.

Meanwhile in Canterlot, Octavia was getting ready for the show to start. She was in her dressing room, putting on her makeup.

"Octavia, 3 minutes." one of the stage crew said.

"Alright, I'll be there in a sec." Octy said. She takes out a picture of Vinyl from her pouch and stares at it for a few seconds, she then sighs and throws it in the trash, and sadly trots out onto the stage with her bass, and how you say that word in this context is ‘base’, if you didn’t know that. Meanwhile outside, I was landing my Wafflecopter in front of the theater. Vinyl and I jumped out and ran to the ticket stand, but when they got there, the ticket pony put up a sign that said 'Sold out'.

"No! You can't be sold out yet!" Vinyl yelled.

"Sorry, I am." The ticket pony said.

"But I need to go inside! My friend needs me!" Vinyl begged.

"Sorry, you'll have to wait until after the show." the ticket pony said.

Vinyl turned to me and asked, "What are we gonna do now?"

“I’ll provide a musical number to get him to let us inside.” I said as I took out my top hat and cane, and then swinging music started playing in the background as I started dancing. “Lemme tell you story of-“

“Sorry, but we have an anti-musical number bribe policy here.” The ticket pony said.

“Well… that’s pretty rare.” I said. “Almost anypony would accept a musical number bribe.”

“What are we gonna do now, Flare?” Vinyl asked.

“Vinyl, why do you keep asking me to do everything? You’re the one that messed up this time, not me. I’m in the clear.” I corrected her.

“I know, and I feel so guilty about it! But please, Flare, you’re a friendship expert aren’t you?” Vinyl asked.

No, I’m not a friendship expert. Not yet that is. I’m still learning everything I need to know, but since Vinyl seemed pretty desperate, I couldn’t just say no. "We've all seen Alvin and the Chipmunks, right? We go through the VIP!" I suggested.

"The V-I-P?" Vinyl asked.

"We know how it's spelled, dum dum." I informed her.

"How we gonna get in there? We don't have a backstage pass." Vinyl said. Just then, I suddenly take out a backstage pass from his vest pocket.

"Have I ever told you that Flare Gun is the most leet pony around?” I asked.

"Hay yeah, Flare!" Vinyl cried out in excitement. "C'mon let's go!"

"Praise the Wizards! No, really. Why aren’t you praising them?” I asked. So we both ran to the back of the building. Inside the theater, the announcer was starting the show.

"Mares and gentlecolts, please put your hooves together for the Royal Canterlot orchestra!" the announcer…… announces. The curtain goes up and the orchestra starts playing. Octavia just started playing her bass with her eyes closed. While she was playing, a tear falls out of her eye and lands on the ground. A janitor comes by shortly after to clean up the tear drop stain.

“It’s touchin’ music, man.” The janitor said.

Back outside, Vinyl and I went up to the bouncer in the back. "V-I-Ps only.” He said.

"Yeah, thank you, Captain Obvious. I keep saying I know how to say the word ‘vip’, which is what I am.” I said as I showed him my pass.

"That's hip! Go on in buddy!" the bouncer said to me, moving out of the way for me to come through. “Thanks, but next time, give ponies a chance before showing their passes. Some of us don’t like to be reminded.”

“Just doing my job, man.” The bouncer said.

So I walked in and Vinyl follows, but the bouncer blocks Vinyl's way. "May I see your V-I-P pass, miss?" The bouncer then looked at me and said, “I gave her a chance.”

“You did well, Bouncy.” I said.

"Oh I'm with him." Vinyl said.

"Everypony needs a V-I-P pass to go inside." The bouncer said.

"She's with me brah." I said.

"Sorry buddy, but only those with passes can go inside. That's the rule." The bouncer explained.

"Well that's all I got. G-G lawl!" I said as I trotted inside.

"Wait, Flare! Don't leave me!" Vinyl cried out.

"Move along, ma'am." The bouncer instructed her. Vinyl sadly started trotting away, but suddenly, the bouncer gets knocked out. I then came out with a broken bottle.

"You're the best, Flare!” Vinyl said.

“I’m the only Flare.” I corrected her.

“Thanks for knocking out that bouncer for me!” Vinyl said.

“Oh that wasn’t intentional.” I said.

"Let's go get Octy back!" Vinyl said. Vinyl and I ran inside the theater. Back in the theater, Octavia was playing her solo, but it sounded real sad.

Some of the Canterlot audience members were feeling pretty emotionful with the music (shut up, ‘emotionful’ should be a word). One of the audience members was tearing up and said, “Her music touches me ever-so. I fear that my tears might stain my petticoat.”

Another audience member blows his or her nose on a handkerchief he or she took out of his or her pocket, and then he or she said, “I say; it would seem I have spoiled my handkerchief. This was only meant to tap on my lip a couple of times and to be kept mostly cleaned.”

Vinyl and Flare ran backstage and saw Octavia playing her sad music. "Oh… look, Flare. Her music sounds really sad.” Vinyl pointed out.

“You see what was wrong what you said? You said ‘LOOK, her MUSIC sounds really sad’. Sheesh, and they say I don’t make sense.” I complained.

"Flare don't you see? Octy misses me!" Vinyl said.

“All I see is ponies playing their instruments, and I see a familiar looking janitor cleaning up Octavia’s tears. Who is he?” I asked.

“I’m Scruffy, the janitor.” The janitor said.

“Right, I figured I knew you from somewhere.” I said.

“I’m going out there!” Vinyl said as she started marching onto the stage so she can talk to Octavia.

I then took out my video camera and started recording. "Bring on the subscribers! Mischievious face!" I said.

Vinyl marches up to Octavia and gives her a hug while she’s playing. “VINYL?!” she cried out.

“Octy, I’m sorry!” Vinyl said.

“Vinyl, I’m… kinda in the middle of something right now.” Octy mumbled.

“Yeah, hi audience members. This will only take a second.” Vinyl said to the audience. She then turned back to Octavia and said, “I want you back! I was wrong to treat you like I did!”

“Uh, excuse me? You’re interrupting the show.” The manager said to Vinyl.

“Too bad, I’m trying to talk to my friend.” Vinyl said to him.

"That is out of the question." The manager said. Just then, Vinyl takes out a few bits and gives them to the manager. "You have five minutes." He said.

"What are you doing here?" Octy asked angrily.

"I came to see you." Vinyl said.

"I was doing fine without you! I was playing this relaxing music for the people and they seemed to be emotionly attracted to it.” Octy said.

“Actually, you were playing something sad and we just followed you along.” Parish Nandermane, the harp player corrected her.

Octavia sighed and asked Vinyl, "What do you want?"

"I just came to apologize, and..... I was wrong to steal your money for my own pleasure. I should've waited like you said." Vinyl said. "After I heard your call at the station, I felt broken hearted. DJing just didn't feel the same without you. I didn't think I'd go on without my special friend there by my side."

“Awwww.” Beauty Bass, the tuba player said in an EMOTIONFUL tone.

“We’re not a couple, alright?” Octy corrected her.

“Oh that’s too bad. I didn’t want Frederick here and me to be the only married couple here.” Parish said.

“Parish! Don’t embarrass me!” Frederick, the pianist blushed and said.

"Well.... I'm touched, Vinyl. I really am.” Octy admitted. "But you made a big mistake, a trust that's long gone, and..... I don't think I could bear to see your face."

Vinyl sighed and takes off her glasses. "They're purple, see? Is everypony happy now?! They're purple!" she shouted. "But when I wear my contact lends, they're red. You all happy now?! All of your theories are correct!”

“I always thought they were blue.” Concerto, the violin player said.

"That's not what I meant." Octy said. "Look, I wish I could forgive you, but I can't. Not with this radio station by your side."

"That's why I sold it before we got here." Vinyl said.

"You sold your radio station?" Octy asked in shock.

"Whatever, fine. If that's the way you wanna be, then so be it!" Vinyl said angrily, as she then sadly walked backstage, passed me.

“I can do this with my arms.” I said as I placed my front arms over my head, neck, and shoulders. “Us Guns have very flexible arms. Ok I’m going now.”

“Y’know, Octavia. You’re pretty popular. Nopony ever seems to pay attention to the rest of your band.” Concerto said to her.

“I’m not even sure why.” Octy said.

So I followed Vinyl out, also I said bye to Scruffy before I went too. "Holy Wizard of Feelings. That was sure something. So...."

"It was all not worth it. I messed up big time. I lost a friend, and now I'm gonna go broke." Vinyl said sadly.

"Hey Vinyl if it makes you feel any better, I don’t think ponies would think you and Octy are a couple anymore.” I said.

“How is that supposed to make me feel better?” Vinyl asked.

“I’m pretty sure the question answers itself.” I said.

"Don't bother with me." Vinyl said. "I'll just....." Vinyl walks out the back door, leaving me behind. “Don’t give up, Vinyl! You still have a chance to make things right! Never give up!” I yelled out, but she ignored me and she eventually she was gone. A few minutes later, I went to get some water from the fountain back inside. Octavia walked out of her dressing room and saw me.

"Hey Flare." Octy said.

"Oh Octy, I didn’t even think you met me before.” I said.

“I went to your shop once.” Octy reminded me.

“Once.” I said.

“What?” Octy asked.

“You went to my shop once. I’m not that good at remembering faces that only visit my shop once.” I said.

"Ok then. What are you doing here?" Octy asked.

"I was with Vinyl. I helped her get to you." I said.

"Oh, that's how she got in?" Octy asked.

"No, she got in through the door. That’s how she came in.” I teased

“Quite.” Octy nodded in agreement.

"You kay?" I asked. “I mean that was a joke and you didn’t even lawl. Cause you know me, I spread the lawlz.” I said.

"Oh I dunno Flare." she said. "Vinyl has been my best friend for months, and roommate. It's just hard to believe she'd do this."

"Sista, she learned her lesson." I reminded her.

"But still...." she said.

"But still nothing! She sold her dream just to make you happy, and forgive her!" I explained. "Yeah she was wrong to steal her money, but she was aware of her actions, and just wants you back. Sometimes ponies must make mistakes so they can learn from them, and that's what I'm gonna write to Princess Luna later, or you can do it, whichever."

"You know what, Flare? You're right!" Octy said.

"If I wasn’t right, we’d both be wrong.” I said.

"VINYL!" Octy cried out as she ran outside through the back door. "VINYL?! WHERE ARE YOU?!" I walked outside with her.

"You actually think she'll respond to you right away?" I pointed out. "Hey where did my Wafflecopter go?!”

“Your what?” Octy asked.

“My helicopter with certain breakfast items on it. I left it parked right here!” I explained. “Vinyl is such a thief! Why did I help her out in the first place?!"

Octavia and I both went on the train back to Ponyville. On the way I was explaining to Octavia how it’s not a good idea to have two unicorns use a Chinese finger trap. I once used one with Aqua, and trust me, it wasn’t a good idea. So we both walked over to Vinyl and Octavia's house. I was still pretty angry after what Vinyl did to me. "Angry face! I'll show her what happens when you steal Flare Gun's stuff!" I went up and knocked on the door real loud. "Vinyl, open up!” Vinyl didn’t respond to the door.

"Uh... Flare?" Octy asked.

"Fine be that way! IMMA FIRIN MAH LAZOR!" I yelled as I was charging up my horn.

"FLARE WAIT!" Octy cried out as she stopped me from performing the Shoop spell.

“WHAT?!” I yelled.

"You know, I have the key to open the door." she reminded me as she walked up to the door and was about to unlock it.

“Did you unlock the door yet?” I asked as I was hyperly jumping up and down impatiently.

“I’m still looking for the key.” Octy said as she searched all the keys on her keychain for the door.

“How long does it take for you to find one key?!” I asked angrily.

“I have 16 keys.” Octy said as she finally found the key she was looking for and was about to unlock the door.

“C’mon, Octy! Hurry!” I yelled.

“I’m not gonna hurry if you’re gonna keep jumping up and down like that.” Octy complained. I then stopped jumping like she asked, but I was still shaking.

“Close enough.” Octy said as she unlocks the door.

Right after I burst inside and start yelling, “Where are you chopper stealer?!” I called out. Right after, Octy and I suddenly heard something drop from upstairs.

“Bedroom.” Octy said as she started running up there to comfort her friend. I, of course, followed; even though I’d rather be the one to lead.

"Hey guys, what's happening?" Vinyl asked as she laid on her bed with a bunch of bottles of apple cider on the floor.

“Oh boy.” I said awkwardly.

"Vinyl! What happened to you?" Octy asked.

"I'LL TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENED!" Vinyl yelled at her face. "You embarrassed me in front of a crowd of ponies, and at my radio station, and you wouldn't even accept my apology!" she explained as tears fell out of Vinyl's eyes. "I never wanted this."

Octavia places her hoof on Vinyl's shoulder. "Vinyl? I do accept your apology. I was upset, and I know you just wanted to live your dream and just try to help out." Octy explained. "I do trust you, and you're my best friend." Tears fell out of Octavia's eyes as she was about to say this next reference. "And.... I know… somewhere deep down in my heart..... I still love you!" Vinyl started crying out loud, rubbing her hoof on her own chin as she did so.

"Shhh, it's okay. It's okay. I'm here now." Octavia said, hugging Vinyl.

"Umm, can I… can I have some of that?” I chuckled awkwardly and asked.

"I don't want a radio station anymore.” Vinyl said.

"And I don't want to be in the Royal Canterlot orchestra anymore." Octy said.

Vinyl let go of Octavia and stopped crying. "So.... you gonna stay?" she asked.

"I'm staying." Octy said with a smile.

"Can we go out to eat?" Vinyl asked.

"Let's not get carried away now." Octy said. “Also, Vinyl?”

“Yeah?” Vinyl asked.

“Did you know you’re weeping in MY room?” Octy asked.

“Oh… really?” Vinyl asked as she looked around the room and saw who’s room she was really in. “Huh, so I am. I guess that’s why an alarm went off when I fell on your jewelry box.”

“Yeah well, uhh…. Well, uhhh….” I cleared my throat. “I guess I’ll just…. Be on my way then.”

“Oh Flare, I want to thank you personally.” Vinyl said.

“For what?” I asked.

“For helping me see the truth and feel at peace with my best friend and roommate.” Vinyl said.

“Huh? Oh, I didn’t do that, Vinyl. You did! You saw your mistake and you were the one that went out on stage in the middle of a show just to apologize and bring peace with her. I was just your transportation and ticket inside, but I think you would’ve done all that without me.” I explained.

"Well you helped regardless." Vinyl said. "We are in your debt.”

"So Flare, you said something about writing a message to Luna?" Octy asked.

"You do it." I said.

"For what purpose?" Vinyl asked.

"If you write 10 letters to Princess Luna, she treats you to dinner. I already wrote 19 friendship letters to her! One more I get another free dinner!" I said.

"Octy, I'll never steal from you again, dudet!” Vinyl promised.

"And I'll never be so strict again." Octy said.

“Now there’s only one more thing we need to settle first, Vinyl. Where’s my Wafflecopter?” I asked.

"I dunno, isn't it where you left it?" Vinyl asked.

"You didn’t take it? I mean it’s one of the coolest flying machines ever!” I said.

"No, why? I can't fly that thing. You have the keys anyway." Vinyl corrected me.

"Wait, if you don't have my Wafflecopter, then who does?" I asked just as the doorbell rings. I walked downstairs and I received a note from a police officer.

"You Flare Gun? Your helicopter was in a tow-way zone." The officer said as he gave me a ticket.

“How did you know I was here?” I asked.

“Next time don’t tell random janitors where you’re gonna be.” The officer said.

Author's Note

The remake of the original Vinyl Scratch FM chapter. Story remains the same, but spell-checked and change of jokes and narration. This one didn't take me long to make, and what's ironic was, the first time I made this chapter it took me weeks to complete it! It's pretty funny how things work, huh?

Calm Before the Storm

Blaze Goldheart, Spike, Crystal Iceblast, and I were at my trailer hanging out. Just to let you know now, Psyche and Engie were unable to make this chapter so we’re not gonna see them, sorry. Psyche’s discovery from the Moon Chips chapter was a success so he’s at some University party in Canterlot and Engie’s with him. Those two were at college longer then any of us. Psyche has a PH.D and Engie has a Master’s, but not the rest of us, so we stayed behind. It was pouring rain outside so the four of us were inside most of the time. Spike and I were playing Golden Eye 007 on the Nintendo.

"I don't get this game dude." Spike said.

"Why not?” I asked.

"Well first of all, what kind of FPS game doesn't have a jump function?" Spike asked.

"Doom, Wolfenstein, Golden Eye, I can go on." I said.

"And it's really hard to turn. What kind of joystick is on this controller?" Spike asked.

"Heh, joystick.” I chuckled.

"How is that funny?" Spike asked.

"Nothing, nothing." I said as Spike continued his game. As he continued, I started to chuckle a bit more over the same joke.

"Okay seriously, what's so funny?!” Spike asked angrily.

"Nothing!" I yelled.

"Tell me!" Spike yelled back.

"When you say 'tell me' it sounds like you're saying 'tummy'!" I pointed out.

Blaze walks over to Spike and whispers in his ear; "Don't worry about it Spike. You know how Flare is. Besides, you don't wanna know what that means." he whispered.

“Oh, I know what it means! I know what it means!” Crystal cried out with her hoof up. “It means, down-“ Before Crystal could finish, Aquatic Armor busted through my front door, all soaking wet and dripping (shut up, I said it’s raining), and he carrying a bag paper bag inside. "Hey, Aqua! What happened to you?" she asked.

"It was raining outside. What do ya think?" said Aqua sarcastically.

"I can see that." Crystal said.

"I like the rain though." Aqua said.

"Yeah, and he doesn’t even bother wiping his hooves. He leaves mud prints on my carpet." I complained. "I just had it cleaned this morning."

"Why you such a big fan of water, Aqua?” Blaze asked.

“Yeah, Aqua. Why you such a big fan of my sister?” I asked.

“What?” Blaze asked.

“My sister’s name is Water.” I said.

"Water is part of my magic." Aqua said. "Besides, it feels pretty nice, and water is also what makes me stronger. I can control water."

"You can control water?" Spike asked. "So was it you that summoned those rain clouds?"

"No that was the pegasus ponies." Aqua corrected him. "I said I control water. Not clouds."

"But there's water in the clouds, right?” Spike asked.

"That’s not how it works though.” Aqua said as he placed the big paper bag on the table in the kitchen. “I got the oriental food ya wanted though.”

“Oh goodie! I’m starving!” Crystal said excitedly.

“Did you ask for my orange hayroll’s broccoli to be diced, not shredded?” I asked.

“Yes.” Aqua said as he takes out my food from the bag.

“Even though the menu says shredded?” I asked.

“Yes.” Aqua said.

“Fried rice, not white?” I asked.

“Yes.” Aqua said.

“Did you stop by the market place and get the good mustard?” I asked.

“Yes.” Aqua said as he takes out my mustard.

“Did you get the bottled soy sauce from the market?” I asked.

“Yes.” Aqua said as he takes out my soy sauce.

“Good.” I said. I then suddenly turn over to Blaze and said, “See how it’s done, Blaze?”

“I have nothing to say to you about this.” Blaze said.

“Just to let you know, you wouldn’ve gotten that strike if you just got the broccoli diced. Aqua knows how to listen!” I said.

“Whatever, man.” Blaze shook his head and said as we all sat down to have our food.

Aqua starts to yawn. “Tired?” Crystal asked.

“Really, Crystal? The first question you ask him is ‘tired’? That question speaks for itself.” I corrected her.

“I’m really not in the mood for this, mates.” Aqua said.

“Then what mates are you into?” I asked.

“Flare, please?” Aqua asked.

“Don’t worry Aqua, you know how Flare is.” Blaze said.

"Don't worry about it Aqua. You know how Flare is." I copied him. "You know what Flare is? Somepony that helped create the Noble Six. You know what else Flare is? The owner of the best pizza shop in Equestria. Don't believe me? Ask anypony! So Blaze, how about you shut your mouth before you say something you might regret later. Kay? Kay thanks bye."

"Flare, I'm just trying to defend you." Blaze said.

"Yeah well all I hear from your mouth is 'Flare this, Flare that, I'm married to Rainbow Dash.' Are you really married to Rainbow Dash? Or you just saying that to become popular?" I asked.

"Guys quit arguin’ already! It doesn't really matter." Aqua said.

"How can I carry two M4s?" Spike complained as he was still playing GoldenEye. "This game is so unrealistic!"

"Sorry Aqua, but you know how Blaze is." I teased.

"Hey if you don't want me to help defend you, that's fine by me." Blaze said.

“So Aqua, I’m doing this…. Thing. You wanna help me out in doing this….. thing?” Crystal asked.

"Sorry Crystal. I have too much stuff to do." Aqua said. "I just came by for a lunch break.”

"You're leaving? But you just got here!" Crystal complained.

"Yeah I know. But... there are things I must do.” Aqua said.

“Yeah and I have things I must do too, but I’ll need some assistance from a fellow water-like pony in order to do it.” Crystal said.

I'll catch ya all later." Aqua said as he walks outside back into the rain.

“Well it’s a good thing he went out before I gave him his strike. He got the wrong mustard.” I pointed out.

"Wow. That's just a terrible way to die." Spike complained while still playing the game. "Blood falls from the screen, and it shows a third person view of the player getting killed."

“Yeah most games do that.” I said.

“Hmm…” Blaze thought.

“What’s wrong Blaze?” Crystal asked.

“Aqua. He just came in, barely ate and then he went back out into the rain.” Blaze said.

“I know, we were all there, dude.” Crystal reminded him.

“Not that, Crystal. I mean, I just feel that there’s something bothering Aqua, like when a teacher is bothered when a student interrupts a class.” Blaze said.

A cutaway shows a teacher teaching a class. “Ok, class. Let’s get down to business!” the teacher said.

“TO DEFEAT…. THE HUNS!” one of the students popped out and sang. The cutaway ends.

The next day came. It was still raining really hard outside and it was really windy. I was working at my pizza parlor along with Bon Bon and Lyra. Lyra and I were watching TV. “We now return to Cat Racing.” The TV announcer said. On the TV showed a bunch of cats over at the staring line, and a pony referee yelled out with his horn up in the air, “On your mark…. get set…. GO!” the referee cried out as he shoots the air. All the cats just laid there in the starting line, either licking their paws or just staring in space. Suddenly, one of the cats walks out of the starting line and lies down in the middle of the track. “I can see why there are not many cat races around.” The referee said.

So I went over to Bonnie and cleared my throat and smiled at her. "Sooo, lovely day isn't it, Bonnie?" I asked.

"Yeah, I guess." Bonnie shrugged as she just stood there, reading a book, looking like she doesn't care.

"Got any plans after work today?" I asked.

"Nope." Bonnie said. My smile turns into a disturbed look. I knew there was no hope in getting her attention so I just turned and walked to my office, but before I could go inside, Aqua turns up in my shop and limps towards the counter, still dripping wet from the rain.

"Hey Aqua! What's happing brah?" I asked.

"Sorry mate. I can't talk right now. I have important stuff to do." Aqua said as he heads over to the counter and lays his head on it. "I'll take one eggplant and cabbage pizza to go please.” He said.

"Coming right up!" Lyra said as she heads into the kitchen to cook him up what he wants.

"So what's going on, brah? What you so busy doing?" I asked him.

"Stuff." Aqua said.

"Ooookay, what kind of stuff?" I asked.

"Just..... stuff." Aqua said.

“Lots and lots of stuff?” I asked.

“Yeah.” Aqua said.

"You're not gonna really tell me?" I asked.

"Sorry Flare, this really isn't a good time. I'm really hungry, and I need to get back to work." Aqua said.

"You could've called, and we would've delivered, and by ‘we’, I mean Derpy.” I said.

“Sure. Let the clumsy Pegasus do it.” Lyra complained.

“Would you rather do it?” I asked her.

“I’m just saying, dude.” Lyra said.

“Uh huh, keep your mouth shut, Lyra. If you don’t wanna deliver, don’t complain.” I advised her.

“So yeah, why didn’t you call for delivery, Aqua?” I asked him.

"Oh, uhh... I wouldn't want to waste ya’re time." Aqua excused. "So I just came here to get a quick bite to eat to go.”

“If you say so, dude, but I hope you’ll be back in time for Happy Wheels.” I said.

A cutaway shows me playing the game Happy Wheels (I’m the person I’m playing as, like me physically in the game), and I was playing a ball throw game. It was a one-chance ball throw game. I only had one ball and all the slots except for one had the word ‘death’ on it. The one slot that didn’t have that word in it had the word ‘win’. I whispered to myself, “One chance ball throw. One ball….. one will…… one mind.” I then threw the ball as hard as I can but which slot did I get? None. There was a small gap between where I am the first ‘death’ slot, and the ball landed on that. “AAH! Didn’t even get to die! I have failed.” I complained in a karate student’s voice. The cutaway ends.

“I dunno, mate. I’m pretty busy right now.” Aqua said.

"Oh, alright, no worries.” I said as Lyra came out with the pizza.

“Here you go, Aquaman!” Lyra said as he gave him the pizza. “Now if you need a HAND with anything. Let me know.”

“Oh what you just said there, Lyra.” I started.

“What? Is another pony going to complain about that ‘hand’ thing?” Lyra asked.

“No. You called him Aquaman. I haven’t called him that in a while.” I pointed out. “Hey Aquaman!”

“Hey.” Aqua said. “Anyways, thank you for the pizza. I’ll see ya ‘round.” Aqua then exits the shop after he pays me.

“Wow, he’s really in a hurry. He forgot to pay tax.” I said.

“Oh now you care about that?” Bonnie asked. “All the time you complain about how much taxes are unnecessary. Now you’re complaining that you’re not getting any?”

“I live by the rules, Bonnie. I live by the rules.” I said. “I recently renewed my vending license so there are a couple of things that remind me about vending that I forgot about. For example: did you know in Neighppon there’s a vending machine that sells mare’s underwear?”

“That’s just not right.” Lyra shook her head and said.

“I know! Everypony knows that ponies don’t wear underwear. Vending machines like that are just ridiculous!” I said.

“Learn something new every day I guess.” Bonnie said as she continued reading her book.

“Also, you know what’s puzzling me a bit?” I asked.

“What?” Lyra asked.

“I can’t seem to figure out where this last piece goes on this jigsaw puzzle of the Taco Bell logo I’m making.” I said as I pointed to the jigsaw puzzle on the table.

“Wow.” Lyra said as she observed the puzzle. “Yeah, you got me on that one.”

“Also you know what’s concerning me?” I asked. “Aqua.”

“What about him?” Lyra asked.

“He wears that same armor every day! He never takes it off! Not that I see him anyway. Doesn’t it get a little disgusting to wear the same thing all the time?” I asked.

“I one time wore a foam finger for an entire week. Sweetie Drops here stole it from me though and hid.” Lyra complained.

“I told you already!” Bonnie yelled. “You kept complaining about your hoof being itchy and the foam finger had ticks on it. Also I told you not to call me by my canon name! My name is NOT Sweetie Drops!”

“It’s not Bonnie either, but we always call you that.” Lyra pointed out.

“I like that name though!” Bonnie said.

“I like that name too. In fact, I’m the first pony I know that calls you that.” I pointed out.

“No, you’re not the first.” Bonnie said.

“Sigh.” I complained. “I wanted to be one of those YouTube commenters that yells ‘FIRST’ in each new video.”

Later that night, it was raining even harder outside and it became windier. Cows were flying by, along with tree branches, mail boxes, signs, and Derpy. Blaze, Crystal, Spike, and I were playing Blackjack over at Twilight's house.

"Ha! 21! In your faces!" Spike cried out as he took all the bits that were in the middle of the table.

“Nope, go fish.” Crystal said.

“We’re not even playing that.” Spike reminded her. “We’re playing 21.”

“21?!” I cried out. “I thought we were playing Blackjack?! I never agreed to this!” Just then there was a knock at the door.

"Spike can get that?! I'm in the shower!" Twilight yelled from the other room.

"Oooooh so you do have a bathroom here.” I nodded. “How come I never seen it before? Also how come I don’t see a door around that leads to it?” Spike jumps out of his seat and opens the door. It was Aqua, all soaking wet still.

"Hey Aqua!" Spike said.

"Aqua, we gotta stop meeting like this." Blaze said.

“Yeah, there’s a particular device you probably never heard of called an umbrella. I think you should think about getting one so you wouldn’t get so wet in the rain.” Crystal said.

"Sorry I'm late, mates." Aqua said as he was breathing heavily. "Really had to get this problem- " Aqua passes out on the floor before he could finish the sentence.

"Seriously, what's going on with him?" Crystal asked.

"He's been working hard ever since the rain started." Blaze said. "He needs rest."

"Hey what do you say we draw on his face?" Spike suggested as he chuckled.

"No! He needs comfort.” Blaze said as I used my magic to place Aqua on Twilight’s couch.

“I didn’t know Twilight had a couch either.” I said.

“I don’t even know why we’re playing in Twilight’s house.” Crystal said.

"C'mon guys, we gotta finish our game." Blaze said as the three of us returned to the table, but Spike goes up to Aqua, p;aces shaving cream on his hoof, and then tickles his nose with a feather. Aqua then places his hoof on his face, rubbing shaving cream all over it. Spike started to giggle. "Spike, c’mon!” Blaze instructed him.

A couple of hours went by, and the group was just about to finish our card game. Aqua got up and yawned. He then asks, "What time is it?"

Blaze takes out his cell phone to look at the time. "It's... 10 to 9." he said.

"Holy cow!" Aqua cried.

"Hmm. The last time I saw a holy cow, it was shot 6 times." Crystal teased.

"I gotta go. Sorry to sleep through the game." Aqua said. "But I really have to get back to work."

"Dude, just stop and tell us what you're doing!" Blaze demanded.

"Look, I can't." Aqua said. "It's too much to talk about."

"Please?" Blaze asked.

"No.” Aqua said.

"Well, at least take some time to hang with us. Come to my trailer tomorrow. We’ll watch a movie or something.” I requested. “It’s nice watching zombie movies in the rain. I mean, I don’t really mean watching the movie IN the rain, I meant…. Umm…. I forgot where I was going with this.”

“I-I get what ya’re sayin’, Flare, and sure. I’ll try.” Aqua said.

“Great! We’ll have fun!” I nodded.

“I’m sure we will.” Aqua nodded. "Cya later.” He then walks out of Twilight's house and back into the rain.

"Alright seriously, we gotta know what's going on with Aqua. He keeps showing up either sleeping or in a hurry." Blaze said.

"Look, I don't think it's our business. If he doesn't want to tell us, he doesn't have to." I said.

“It seems a little suspicious though, doncha think?” Spike asked.

“Yeah, probably as suspicious as seeing a thief with a water gun.” Blaze said.

A cutaway shows Blaze walking down an alley when suddenly, a thief with a ski-mask and a water gun shows up, aims his gun at Blaze and yells, “Hooves up!”

“AAAH! I’ll do what you want! Just don’t get my suit all wet!” Blaze yelled frighteningly with his hooves in the air.

The thief then rubs deodorant on Blaze’s armpits and said, “Take a shower, you grease bucket.” And then he walks away.

“I never use the Wonderbolt base’s showers.” Blaze said. “You never know who used the soap before you, and you definitely never know when somepony’s gonna whip- AAAAH!” he cried as he was whipped by Wave Chill’s towel. The cutaway ends.

The next day at my trailer, Aqua joined us for movie night. He was in the lavatory though so the four of us were watching the trailers in the beginning before we started watching World War Z. “So is Aqua gonna show up in a bit?” Spike asked.

“He’s in the lavatory. I’m glad he took some time to watch World War Z with us. It’s great seeing zombie movies while it’s raining outside.” I said.

“Actually dude, these aren’t zombies.” Crystal said.

“What? Yeah they are, Crystal!” Blaze corrected her.

“No they’re not. Zombies are corpses coming back from the dead to eat brains. These guys in the movie are just sick people. They’re no different than ponies with Hay Fever.” Crystal corrected him.

“I guess you got a point there.” Blaze agreed.

“It’s a fact. That’s why the older zombie movies are better.” Crystal said.

“Psssst, Flare.” Aqua whispered from the hallway.

“If you brahs excuse me, Aqua is subtly signaling that he’d like to talk to me in private.” I said as I got up from the couch to see what he wants. Aqua just rolls his eyes as I meet him in my bedroom.

“I really like that pony’s hair.” My fish Pearl commented on Aqua’s hair.

“I like his armor.” Dorthey said.

“I like his tongue!” Darrel said.

“He doesn’t even have his tongue out, Darrel.” Pearl corrected him.

“You don’t have to see it to know it.” Darrel said.

“Is there a problem?” I asked Aqua.

“Yeah, I actually can’t watch this movie with ya tonight, mate. I’m sorry, but I gotta go out.” Aqua said.

“Alright, good-bye.” I said as I was about to walk out.

“No, wait!” Aqua stopped me. “If anypony asks you where I went, you don’t know.”

“Where are you going?” I asked.

“Umm… yeah, I can’t tell ya that.” Aqua said.

“Who would ask me?” I asked.

“I…. can’t tell ya that either.” Aqua said.

“So let me get this straight; you bought me in here to inform me that you can’t tell me where you’re going and you can’t tell me who might ask?” I asked.

“Umm…… yeah I really didn’t think this through.” Aqua admitted as he was about to walk out.

“Aqua, wait a minute.” I stopped him.

“What?” Aqua asked.

“If somepony does ask me where you went, what do I say?” I asked.

“Just…. Tell them I went to the mayor’s office.” Aqua said.

“Are you going to the mayor’s office?” I asked.

“No.” Aqua said.

“Then how do I say it convincingly?” I asked.

“Just say ‘Aqua went to the office’.” Aqua said.

“Ok.” I said as I started to stutter and speak in an exaggerated tone, “Aqua went to… th-the office!” I said as I waved my hoof from front to side.

Aqua was confused for a moment. “Wh-what is- no, not like that! Just ‘Aqua went to the office’.” He said calmly.

“You know this would’ve been a lot easier if you just told me you were going to the office.” I advised him.

“I’m going to the office.” He lied.

“See why don’t I believe you?” I asked him suspiciously.

Aqua says nothing and then just heads over to the door. “I’m sorry, I’m not gonna make it to this movie. I’ll see ya tomorrow.” Aqua said to the others before he walks out.

“Kay.” Crystal said.

“Alright, whatever.” Blaze said.

“Meh.” Spike said.

I then walk into lounge with my friends and then I ask them nervously, “Does anypony want to know where he’s going?”

“Uhh, sure. Where’s he going?” Blaze asked.

I then said exaggeratedly as I moved my hoof from front to side, “Aqua is going to…. th-the office!”

“No, no he’s not.” Crystal said.

“Yes he is. He told me to tell you that.” I said.

“No, it’s an excuse!” Blaze said.

“What’s his problem? Why does he keep ditching us? Does he not like us anymore or something?” Crystal complained.

“Maybe he’s hording something and he doesn’t want to share.” Spike assumed.

“Or maybe he’s just obsessed with the rain because he’s an aquatic weirdo.” I assumed.

“Any of our theories are possible, but we need to get to the bottom of what he’s up to.” Blaze said.

“If he’s hording something juicy and shinny, I swear.” Spike said.

“Wow, Spike. Do you ever think of something that’s NOT gems?” Crystal asked.

“I wasn’t even talking about gems!” Spike corrected her.

“Then what were you talking about?” Crystal asked.

Spike was silent for a moment, but then he came out with the truth. “Gems. But seriously, Aqua’s not the kind of pony that would horde something all to himself.”

“Well, we don’t know for sure if he’s hording something. I was thinking…. Nah.” Blaze stopped himself.

“What?” I asked.

“No, it’s stupid and wrong. Forget about it.” Blaze said.

“C’mon, tell us, Blaze!” Crystal begged.

“Well….. I was actually thinking we’d….. you know…. Spy on him.” Blaze said.

"Spy on him? Isn't that a little.... sneaky?” Spike asked.

"Oh it's sneaky alright!" Crystal said mischievously. "Very sneaky!"

"See? Spike's got the right idea!" Crystal said.

“No, no I was wrong to mention that.” Blaze said.

“No, Blaze, you’re absolutely right! We should totally spy on him!” I said excitedly. “Wow, I said ‘totally’ and ‘spy’ together. I miss that show.”

"I dunno about this guys." Blaze said.

"Well I dunno about yous guys, but I'm gonna find out what Aqua's doing. I'm gonna follow him." I said as I placed my hoof to the center of us, and I said ‘yous’ on purpose.

"Yeah me too!" Spike said as he placed his hand on my hoof. "Crystal, you in?" he asked.

"Alright. I have nothing better to do." Crystal said as she placed her hoof on Spike's hand. "Blaze?"

Blaze was silent for a second. "I dunno guys. It just doesn't seem right." he said.

"Admit it, Blaze. You're a pussycat!" I teased him.

"Hey shut up!" Blaze yelled.

"Just admit it. You can't do anything fun. Tongue face." I teased him as I stuck my tongue out.

"Of course I can be fun!" Blaze yelled.

"Then prove it!" I said mischievously.

"Alright, I will!" Blaze yelled as he placed his hoof on top of Crystal's. "Let's do this!"

"For the great Noble Six!" I yelled as he all threw our hooves / claw into the air.

"For great Noble Six!" Blaze, Crystal, and Spike cried out.

"No Spike, you're not part of the Noble Six." I reminded him.

"Wow, and you’re the one that complains that I’m left out of everything.” Spike complained.

The next day came and the four of us went over to Aqua’s house to see if we can find any clues over what he’s been up to lately, but without him knowing of course. While it was pouring rain outside, we were all wearing raincoats, and some of us even brought umbrellas, and then we went over towards Aqua’s house and we went over to Aqua’s door so we can knock. “Go ahead, Flare.” Blaze offered.

“What?” I asked.

“You knock.” Blaze said.

“Nah.” I declined.

“Why not? You always complain when one of us knocks on a door and you keep saying you want to do it. So go ahead.” Blaze said.

“This week is an exception. Go ahead.” I said.

“Oh, umm… ok.” Blaze said as he knocked on the door, but right after he knocks ponified Walter White shows up and punches Blaze in the face real hard and he falls to the ground. “AAAAAH!” he yelled.

“I’m the one who knocks!” Walter advises him.

“Yeah, he’s vacationing in Ponyville for the week. You don’t want to knock on any doors while he’s here.” I advised him.

Just then a brown Pegasus pony with purple hair in the style similar to Psyche’s except her hair is all purple with one side being lighter than the other. “Can I help you?” she asked.

“Uhh, yes. We’re looking for Aqua. You his… marefriend or something?” Blaze asked.

“No, I’m his sister Wind Racer.” She corrected him.

“Oh that’s right, Aqua said he has a sister.” I remembered. “Lawl I remember!”

“You must be some of Aqua’s friends. Please come in!” Wind Racer offered as she stood aside.

“Oh thank you!” Blaze said.

“She’s too nice, I don’t trust her.” Crystal whispered to him.

“Why are you saying you don’t trust her?” I asked out loud.

“No, Flare, shhh!” Crystal shushed me.

“What does she have to hide? Didn’t we say we didn’t trust Aqua at first because he was too nice and very suspicious but he turned out to be the kindest pony we’ve ever known?” I asked.

“Flare, do you ever shut up? I was whispering. Why couldn’t you whisper that?” Crystal complained.

“Oh that was my whispering voice. THIS IS MY NORMAL VOICE!” I shouted.

“So what brings you four here today?” Wind Racer asked.

“Well first off, thanks for offering a beverage.” I complained. “Second, is Aqua home?”

“No he’s not.” Wind Racer said.

“Mind if we ask where he is?” Blaze asked.

“He’s resting right now. He and I have been having a rough week so far, but we’ll survive.” Wind Racer said.

“What have you two been up to lately?” Crystal asked.

“What do you mean?” Wind Racer asked.

“Aqua’s been ditching us for quite some time and we want to know why.” Spike said. Wind Racer was silent for a moment and thought to herself.

“Well?” Crystal asked.

“Don’t say ‘well’. Can’t you see she’s nervous?” Blaze asked.

“No I’m fine. Thank you.” Wind Racer corrected him.

“You know, she doesn’t have that accent Aqua has.” Spike pointed out.

“Yeah. During the time Aqua and I abandoned our home I was still very young. I kinda adapted the way ponies talk around here.” Wind Racer said. “I barely knew my parents personally, but ironically, I remember everything.” Wind Racer then visions some screaming and flames in our mind.

“Is she ok?” Crystal asked.

“She might be having a vision.” Blaze said.

Wind Racer then smiled and looked at us and said, “Anyways, want some beverages?”

“Finally!” I complained. “Iced tea, please, and make sure it’s freshly brewed.”

“Lemonade, yellow.” Spike said.

“Yeah I too will take the lemonade.” Crystal said.

“Wait a minute, wait a minute.” Blaze stopped us. “We’re getting a bit off-topic right now. What’s been happening to you and Aqua lately?”

“Sorry, but that information is classified right now.” Wind Racer said.

“And why is that?” Blaze asked.

Wind Racer was silent for another moment, but she eventually said, “Goodness would you look at the time. I think you four should get going. I have…. chores to do.”

“Chores? While it’s raining? Are you mental?” I asked.

“Inside chores.” Wind Racer corrected me.

“Inside chores? While it’s raining? Are you mental?” I asked.

“C’mon Flare, we don’t need to put up with this. Let’s get going.” Crystal said.

“Wait what?” Blaze asked.

“Trust me on this.” Crystal whispered. She then said out loud, “We’ll be back another time. Sorry to waste your time, Wind Racer. Hope to see you again soon!”

“Likewise. Have a good well.” Wind Racer said as the four of us walked out back into the rain.

“How was that supposed to help us, Crystal?” Blaze asked.

“We’re gonna follow Wind Racer without her knowing and then we’ll find Aqua and what he’s been doing lately.” Crystal explained.

“Right, our original plan.” Spike nodded. “Not just walking inside and asking useless questions that don’t take us anywhere.”

“But Spike, don’t you see? We learned something.” I said.

“What did we learn that’s worth writing to Princess Luna about?” Spike asked.

“We learned that Aqua has a younger sister that’s different in so many ways than her brother. She’s a pegasus, they don’t share accents, and it feels like they’re not related at all. Who would’ve guessed?” I explained.

“So all we have to do is wait for Wind Racer to leave the house and we follow her to Aqua.” Blaze explained.

“In this rain?” Spike asked.

“Here, allow me.” I said as I activated my bubble shield spell. “My bubble shield can also keep us dry from the rain.”

“Nice!” Blaze nodded.

“I can only use it for so long so let’s hope it wouldn’t take too long for Wind Racer to leave.” I said.

So Wind Racer was just about to leave her house. It was still pouring rain outside. The four of us waited until she went a yard away from her house and we began to follow her. “Remember, we need to stay two carriage lengths away from her so she won’t expect us.” Blaze whispered.

“Carriage-length isn’t even a real type of measurement.” I whisperly corrected him. Hmm… yeah that works, ‘whisperly corrected’.

"Alright, so we know what to do right?" Blaze asked.

"I-D-K. You tell me." I said.

"We're gonna follow Wind Racer without her spotting us, and we see what he's up to, right?" Blaze explained.

"I was actually thinking of just capturing him and force him to tell us what he's been doing, but I like you're idea better!" Crystal said.

So I deactivated my bubble shield and we began to follow Wind Racer to wherever she’s going and making sure she doesn’t spot us. “Wow, she looks pretty worried.” Spike said as she observes Wind Racer’s face from a yard away.

“How can you see that far?” Crystal asked. “Do dragons have REALLY good eyesight?”

“No, it’s my contact lenses.” Spike said.

“You’re blind?” Crystal asked.

“No, this is just one of Twilight’s experiments.” Spike said.

“Am I ever right?” Crystal asked.

“You haven’t been so far.” Spike said.

After a little while of following Wind Racer in the rain I began the next conversation, “I am so tired of this rain, brahs. Why can’t we have a wet T-shirt contest or something?” I complained.

“Hey, what do you guys think? What if Aqua was actually the cause of the rain?” Spike asked.

“No that’s crazy, brah!” I said.

“Is it, Flare? Is it? Ever since the rain started, Aqua’s been ditching us.” Spike said.

“Aqua may control water but he doesn’t control clouds; that’s the job for the pegasi. Aqua can’t move clouds.” Blaze explained.

“Hang on, isn’t Wind Racer a pegasus?” Crystal asked.

“Wait a minute…. she is!” Blaze said.

“Now the only question remains is: do she got the booty?” I asked. Over across the street, I spotted my friend Adventure Blade, otherwise known as Keith Pwni (yes, the one who pokes me all the time on Facebook), and I wanted to go yell hi. “Look its Keith! KEEEEE-“ but then Blaze bucks me in the back of my head and interrupts me. “OW!”

“Shush, man!” Blaze instructed me.

“I was only saying hi to my good friend Adventure Blade.” I said.

“You can say hi to him later. For now, we need to remain focused.” Blaze said.

“What’s his name anyway? Adventure Blade or Keith?” Spike asked.

“Adventure Blade is his name, but he likes the name Keith. Somepony made it up and he’s been stuck with that name ever since. His Facebook name is Keith Pwni. Him and I are in the middle of a poke war.” I explained.

After some time goes by, Wind Racer finally meets up with Aqua over at the Ponyville lake. “Here we are. The Ponyville lake. We need to split up.” Blaze said.

“Sounds like that’s going to hurt.” Crystal said.

“Crystal, you and me will go up to this tree and spy on Aqua and Wind Racer from above. Flare, you and Spike hide behind this bush.” Blaze instructed us.

“Ew, but it’s all muddy ‘n stuff.” I complained.

“Just do it, man.” Blaze said.

“Sigh…. fine.” I complained as I hid behind the bush with Spike, and Crystal and Blaze fly up to the tree and hide there.

“You sure a tree is a safe place to be in during a storm?” Crystal asked.

“It’s not thundering or lightning, it’s only raining.” Blaze corrected her.

“OW!” Crystal yelled as she rubbed her nose. “It’s hailing though!”

”Good, ya’re here, sis.” Aqua said to Wind Racer. “Ya weren’t followed were ya?”

“No I wasn’t, YA. Are YA ready for work?” Wind Racer teased. Aqua then glares at her. “I’m only teasing, bro! Got enough water in the air?”

“Yeah.” Aqua said as he continued using his magic to levitate the water from the lake up to the sky.

“Good. Then I’ll send off these clouds.” Wind Racer said as she flew up into the sky to move the rain clouds and pushes them towards Everfree Forest.

“Hey Spike, look at this!” I said to him as I took out my phone and showed him a photo. “It’s a picture of Keith!”

“Cool!” Spike said. “How did you two meet anyway?”

“He used to be depressed a lot so I helped him on his hooves. He also pretended to be an alicorn once, but everypony thought he was OPing. He’s a really cool guy once you get to know him.” I explained.

“Caught in the act, Aqua! So he is causing the rain!” Crystal pointed out.

“Yes he is, but why?” Blaze asked.

“He’s obsessed with water! What can you expect from a pony like him?” Crystal said. “Is he trying to flood Ponyville or something?”

“I don’t know, but we have to figure it out. Flare, Spike? What’s your theory?” Blaze asked us.

“Huh? Oh sorry, Blaze. Flare is showing me a picture of Keith in his last year’s Nightmare Night costume. Looks like a batpony.” Spike said.

“Ok, in a moment, when I give the signal… we ambush him, and force him to tell us everything!” Blaze said.

"Got it!" Crystal said. “Why would Aqua do such a thing though? I knew there was something wrong about him since we first met him at the Unicorn Games.”

“Yeah, this really is a shocking discovery." Blaze nodded. Just then, lightning struck Blaze’s side of the tree, and then Blaze started screaming and he fell off the tree. Aqua got startled by Blaze's scream, and the water from the lake that Aqua was carrying was dropped back down. Aqua's magic stopped, and he turned around and saw Blaze electrocuted, and twitching on the ground.

"BLAZE?!" Aqua cried.

"FOR GREAT JUSTICE! PRAISE THE WIZARDS!” I yelled as Spike, Crystal, and I ran up to Aqua and knock out.

After a while went by, Aqua regains his consciousness right next to the Ponyville Lake as we were tying him up. “Careful not to tie him too tight, Flare. We don’t want him to become numb around the hooves.” Crystal reminded me.

“If AppleJack were here, she’d be able to tie him up 9 minutes ago.” Spike said.

“I’m not good at tying stuff alright? I don’t even tie my hind shoes. I just slip them on.” I said.

“Ugh! What’s… what’s happening?” Aqua asked.

“Uh oh, Aqua’s awake.” I said as I knocked him unconscious again. Several minutes went by and Aqua regains consciousness, but in a totally different area now. He’s tied up to a chair in a dark room with the only light is shinning above him.

"Ugh. What happened?" he said to himself. "Where am I? I have work to do!" Aqua tried moving around, struggling to get free, but he was too tied up to break free. "Why am I tied up?"

"I dunno, you tell us." said a pony shaped shadow in front of him.

"Oh hey Crystal.” Aqua said.

“What do you mean? I’m not Crystal. Even though that does sound like a sexy name for a pony.” The shadow said.

"I can hear ya’re voice.” Aqua said.

"This is ridiculous." another shadow pony said to the left of him.

"Hey Blaze.” Aqua said.

“He knows us too well. Of course he can understand our voices!” Blaze said.

“Told you we should’ve gotten one of those little megaphones that makes us sound like aliens.” I complained.

“What’s goin’ on ‘ere? Why ya tie me up?” Aqua asked.

"We want you to tell us why you're trying to flood out Ponyville?" I asked.

"I am not floodin’ out Ponyville!" Aqua said. "Where did ya get this info from?"

"You're using the Ponyville Lake to put extra water up in the clouds, and you're using the rain to flood out Ponyville because.... I dunno why, but we're on to you Aquatic Armor!" I shouted in his face.

“Why do ya have me tied up in ya’re bedroom in the dark, Flare?” Aqua asked.

“How do you know this is my bedroom?” I asked.

“I can hear ya’re fish tank.” Aqua said.

“Oooo he’s good.” My fish Rainbow said. “He sure knows how to remember stuff well.”

“Yeah, I know how that feels, Dorthey.” Yoyo said.

“I’m Rainbow.” Rainbow reminded her.

“Really? You two share similar attitudes.” Yoyo said.

“We’re the same type of fish, Yoyo. Of course we do.” Dorthey said.

“Ok that one was Dorthey.” Yoyo said.

“I like this darkness.” Piddles said. “I don’t see my evil twin anymore.”

"Mate, please tell me why ya tied me up. I got things to do.” Aqua said.

“Aqua, you always ditch us. We had to follow you and know why because you won’t tell us. You and your sister were hiding something, so we followed you, and we saw you’re flooding Ponyville.” I said.

“But I am NOT floodin’ Ponyville!” Aqua said.

“Then what else are you and Wind Racer doing with those clouds?” I asked.

"Will you guys stop yelling? I'm trying to take a nap!" Spike complained. “Darkness and rain are my favorite times to take a nap, don’t ruin this for me.”

“Aqua, what are you doing with those clouds?!” Blaze yelled.

“Why do I even bother?” Spike complained.

“You know, you didn’t have to come.” Crystal reminded him.

“I am not floodin’ Ponyville. The rain is for the Everfree Forest. There’s a wildfire spreading through there and it’s my job to put it out. I tried to put it out with my magic but the fire was already too strong. So I thought the only way I could take it out, was if I could put extra rain inside clouds and make sure the tropical-like weather would take it out. The only reason why it’s raining in Ponyville is because I made so much rain, Wind Racer can’t keep up with it all.” Aqua explained.

“So why couldn’t you ask us for help?” Blaze asked.

“I wanted to, but Wind Racer keeps saying she wants to do it all herself. I couldn’t bear to let her down, so I decided not to ask any of you.” Aqua said.

“I’m not a pegasus, why didn’t you ask me?” I asked.

“Ya can’t keep a secret, mate. I wasn’t born yesterday.” Aqua said.

“Need some of that rain, Flare? Cause you just got BURNED!” Crystal teased.

“Plus ya all seemed busy doin’ all this fun stuff like playing games and eating. I didn’t want to take precious time off ya’re hooves to help me.” Aqua said.

“Aqua, we’ll ALWAYS be there to help you. That’s our primary objective as the Noble Six…. or Noble Four cause Engie and Psyche isn’t here, but if you EVER need us, we’ll come to the rescue. Not only that, but what is Wind Racer trying to prove by doing this all herself? Does she want to burn down a forest and flood out a town just to prove she can handle herself?” I explained.

“Wow… I… I guess ya’re right, Flare.” Aqua agreed.

“I hope I don’t get sued because I stole that sentence from Rarity on one of the friendship lessons she taught me.” I admitted.

“So, how about ya let me outta here? We’ll finish the job together!” Aqua said. So we all agreed and began to untie Aqua.

“A friendship lesson for working together, huh? I think the Mane Six already proved that point multiple times already, so I dunno why that was our moral in here.” I said.

“No, I think the moral was don’t be afraid to ask for help.” Blaze said.

“I think AppleJack already showed that lesson already.” I said. “How about the moral is, don’t try to do things yourself because- oh wait, that’s the same thing.”

“How about the moral is, it’s ok to repeat morals because you don’t have any better ideas?” Crystal suggested.

I lifted my eyebrow and nodded. “Ok, I can live with that.”

“Me too.” Blaze agreed. After we untied Aqua, we all ran outside to take care of the job. It was still raining, yes, but it’s also pretty… foggy.

“Fog? Why is it so foggy out?” Crystal asked. Some of the ponies around town were coughing as they walked by.

“This isn’t fog….. it’s smog!” Aqua said. “The fire is coming closer to town! We must hurry!” The four of us (oh yeah, Spike stayed behind unfortunately) went back over to Ponyville Lake to finish the job.

"What's taking so long, Aqua?" Wind Racer complained.

"I'm doing all I can! Hold on!" Aqua yelled.

"Aqua the fire is getting closer!" Wind Racer yelled.

"No kidding!" Aqua yelled. Aqua tried all he could to get the water up to the sky, but he started to get dizzy, and tired. His magic failed, and the water fell back into the lake.

"Aqua!" Wind Racer yelled.

“Aqua, get back up! I’ll help you!” I offered.

“Do ya know how to levitate water?” Aqua asked.

“I know how to squirt water out of my horn. I’m not sure if there’s anything different to that.” I said.

“Close enough. Help me levitate this water up to the clouds.” Aqua instructed me as the two of us levitated the water together and lifted it all up into the clouds. I got distracted a bit because I tooted. I started to chuckle, but Aqua didn’t want me to get distracted, so he snapped me out of it and I continued to lift the water.

"Just sit back and let the pros handle this." Crystal said as she and Blaze flew up into the air and began to help Wind Racer spread the rain clouds throughout Everfree Forest to take out the wildfire. Everything was going on smoothly, in fact, we’re doing 3x as fast than Aqua and Wind Racer doing this procedure themselves. After a couple of hours, it was over, and all the rain stopped, and the sun was shining again.

“Well, are we done? The fire's out?" Crystal asked.

“Wow, Crystal, you sound so impatient and egger to stop.” I complained. “Also, yes, I believe we’re done.”

"That wasn't so hard at all! Thanks mates!" Aqua said. “Wouldn’ve done it without ya!”

“It was fun! It was like a little contest to see who can take out the most fires!” Wind Racer said excitedly.

“Ah bisskey!” Blaze yelled excitedly.

“What?” Crystal asked.

“I need a new catchphrase.” Blaze said.

“What does that mean anyway?” Crystal asked.

“I dunno. It’s something Markiplier says.” Blaze said. Just then, while Blaze, Crystal, Aqua, Wind Racer, and I were walking back to town, the ponies in town were cheering for us, and Mayor Mare was coming towards us with a couple of her employees.

“Well this is a bit overwhelming.” Crystal said.

"Aquatic Armor. Thank you for taking out the fire and saving our town!" Mayor Mare said. "Thanks to your bravery and hard work, Ponyville is safe from any wild blazing fires that attempt to disturb our peace."

"Well I couldn't do it without my friends Flare Gun, Crystal Iceblast, and Blaze Goldheart, or my sister Wind Racer." Aqua said.

"All in a day's work!" Wind Racer said.

"It was no problem at all!" Blaze said.

"What's with the giant key, mayor? You giving Aqua the key to your heart? You asking Aqua on a date?” I teased.

"Heavens, no! I mean... no offense." The mayor said while blushing. "This is the key to the city! I hereby give the key to the city, to Aquatic Armor, Flare Gun, Blaze Goldheart, Crystal Iceblast, and Wind Racer." Everypony started cheering.

“Oh snap!” Crystal said surprisingly.

“Yeah, soooo…. make sure you lock up before you leave.” The mayor instructed us.

"The key to the city, huh?" I nodded. “Nice! If only there was a door to the city.”

"Flare, Blaze, Crystal? Thank you so much for your help! All this time I was doing this alone with Wind, but it got done faster with your help! I guess I should've asked for it sooner." Aqua said.

"Yeah you should've." I nodded.

“Wow dude, really?” Blaze glares at me.

“But still, what started the fire in the first place?” Spike asked.

"Look, it's all a thing in the past now." Blaze said. "We saved the town, and it's all it matters!"

“I’m sure there after this, there is going to be a scene where we see the source of the fire and it turns out to be a major role in something in the future, but for now, I have a letter to write to the princess.” I said as I returned to my trailer to write down a letter to Princess Luna. It reads:

"Dear Princess Luna, The Everglade Forest... wait, I messed up." I said as I crumbled the paper and threw it away. I took out another paper and started over. "Dear Princess Luna, The Everfree Woods was on fire, and it was my friend Aquatic Armor that was in charge of taking it out. Aqua and I learned something these past few days. Aqua learned that you should always ask for help if you need it. If you think your friends can't handle it, at least let them try. I know it’s a moral you get a lot, but still. And what me, Crystal, and Blaze learned was.... GAH! I forgot Spike!" I then crumbled up that paper and threw it away. I started over. "And what me, Crystal, Blaze, and Spike learned was, you should mind your own business if they don't want to tell you what they're up to. Spying is not cool, neither is ponynapping. Another thing I learned was, this key to the city is worthless. It doesn't open any doors! Sad face. Why did the Mayor give me a useless reward? Next election, I'm not voting for her. Your faithful subject, Flare Gun." So I was proof-reading my letter to make sure there weren’t any mistakes. I then glared at the letter and crumbled it up. "Nah, not good enough hoof writing. Time to start over."

Ok, as I promised, we show what started the fire, and who would’ve guessed? It’s that same exact pony with the ‘S’ logo and we still don’t know what he really looks like. “You guards are useless! This is the last time I trust you to carry any heavy weapons.” The mysterious pony said.

“But sir, this thing isn’t even supposed to have weapons. It’s a kidnapper machine.” A Canterlot Royal Guard said.

“One can never be too sure of what circumstances we might find for when we kidnap them. Our mutual friend needs to have a little something in return if he’s going to help me take down Crimson. There must be no mistakes.” The mysterious pony explained. “Now, be careful with that weapon, ok? We don’t want to start anymore fires and compromise the mission. Everything needs to be perfect.”

“Yes, sir!” the royal guards cried out as they continue to push a giant metal weapon of some sort through the forest.

Author's Note

The remake of the first Calm Before the Storm chapter. The story hasn't changed that much, but originally Derpy and Doctor Whooves started the fire, but it was stupid so I decided to change the cause of the fire to.... well something. You'll find out soon! ;) Also added some more humor, and I made sure Wind Racer's name was correct. Not Wind CHASER, like that mistake I made last time I made this chapter.

On a Role

We start off our story at my pizza shop. The Noble Six were all there to help me out because Lyra and Bonnie were taking the day off and Crystal was in the lavatory, so it was just the five of us. Like every day between shifts, it was quiet, so we were watching TV. “And now, our featured presentation, we have a movie made by THX sound system!” the TV announcer said. Just then, the THX movie logo starts playing in the TV, and we all started to scream and hold our ears.

“AAAAAH! OH THAT IS SO LOUD!” Aqua cried.

“I’VE NEVER HEARD ANYTHING SO LOUD!” Psyche yelled.

“I WORKED ON STEREOS BEFORE AND I NEVER HEARD ANY OF THEM THIS LOUD!” Engie cried.

“AAAAH! SAYS ANOTHER SENTENCE WITH THE WORD LOUD IN IT!” I yelled.

As we were all yelling and panting while holding our ears, Crystal walks out of the lavatory with some news, “Hey guys, I was looking at Rarity’s Facebook and…” she stops as soon as she notices what the five of us are doing. “Are you guys ok?”

“WHAT?! I CAN’T HEAR HER! I THINK I GONE DEAF!” Blaze yelled.

“Crystal, thank Wizard of Feelings you missed this!” I said as I started to catch my breath.

“Oh snap, I missed something? I hate missing out!” Crystal complained.

“Trust me, Crystal. Ya were LUCKY to miss this!” Aqua said.

“Ooooooook. Anyways, I was looking at Rarity’s Facebook, and she just posted that she needs stallion models to help her out. She’s making some new tuxedos.” Crystal said.

“That sounds really exciting, Crystal! Almost as exciting as the time I got laser eye surgery.” Psyche said.

A cutaway shows Psyche walking through his old town of Trottingham. A random pony shows up and asks him, “Hey, Psyche! Why aren’t you wearing your glasses?”

“I got laser eye surgery.” Psyche said.

“Oooo, does it hurt?” the pony asked.

Just then, Psyche uses laser vision to burn the pony to a crisp, but the pony didn’t scream or anything. He just stood there emotionless. “You tell me.” Psyche said.

“Meh, I felt worse.” The burnt pony said. The cutaway ends.

“So Rarity needs stallions to help out, huh? That’s new.” Blaze said.

“Well you’re lucky you have me to check in on all the news around Ponyville. It’s my duty!” Crystal said. “Also, I shouldn’t say the word ‘duty’ after exiting the bathroom.”

“Any other news to share with us, Crystal?” Aqua asked.

“Yeah, I found this cool new app on Google Play; it says that your phone might not have enough love so this app will allow you to kiss anything in your phone.” Crystal explained.

“Oh I have that app!” I said. “Every day, I think some of the apps I don’t play feel a little lonely, so I use this app to kiss them. I like kissing apps! Hey Blaze, kiss my apps!”

“No, I don’t think I want to.” Blaze said.

“C’mon, Blaze! My apps ain’t gonna kiss themselves!” I said as I leaned my phone over to Blaze’s face.

“No!” Blaze yelled.

“Kiss them, brah!” I demanded as I rubbed my phone in his face.

“No! Stop!” Blaze yelled.

“Lemme rub my apps all over your face!” I yelled at him.

“Flare, STOP!” Blaze yelled.

“Just kiss them and I will!” I demanded.

“FINE!” Blaze yelled as he kisses my phone.

“HA! Apps kisser. Tongue face.” I teased as I stuck my tongue out at him.

Just then, my shop’s front door opens, and a couple of heavily dressed mares come inside and stand beside the door, and then another tacky dressed pony walks inside and says, “I… Photo Finish… have arrived!”

“Anna Wingtour?” Engie asked.

“My name is Photo Finish.” She said as she walks up to my counter, posing and moving her arms around like some fashionesta or something. “I am among the top 5 of all fashion photographers in all of Equestria.”

“Nice accent. You Scottish or something?” Psyche asked.

“One fashion agent such as myself does reveal all her secrets at once, but this is not about me, this is about my clients, and I’d like to see them shine among the depths of Equestria! From Manehatten to Las Pegasus, from Mareami to Baltimare, I have seen…. Da magiks!” Photo Finish explained.

“Well this is the magical land of Equestria after all.” Aqua said.

“Indeed it is my blue armored friend and I must say… I do admire your style of fashion. Where did you get this?” Photo asked as she observed Aqua’s armor.

“It’s my family heirloom. My parents gave it to me.” Aqua said.

“Ah, I see. Ooo, look at you, my dear.” Photo starts observing Blaze. “I swear I seen that outfit before, it is so stylish!”

“It’s a Wonderbolt outfit. I’m a Wonderbolt.” Blaze said.

“I see, I see. I must say, all of you look very stylish, but atlas, I am an agent only for the mare models.” Photo Finish said.

“Perhaps maybe I can be of service?” Crystal asked.

“Hmm…” Photo observes Crystal. “Maybe, but Photo Finish is not yet sure, but then again, Photo Finish does not think well on an empty stomach. YOU!” she points at me.

“Sup sista? Welcome to Flare’s Pizza Parlor! Where the best supermodels around here are usually edible.” I said.

“He means food.” Psyche said.

“Yeah, I didn’t ask for you to explain it, Psyche.” I complained to him.

“Hmm… all that I see here are beyond Photo Finish’s diet, and yet, she craves for a spinach and tomato pizza.” Photo Finish thought to herself. “She will take an asparagus and baked oat pizza.”

“Coming right up! Would you like some garlic rolls with that?” I asked.

“Photo Finish’s breath must stay in clean condition for any of the clients she finds in her path.” Photo Finish said. “Yes, she will take a half-dozen rolls. TO GO!”

“Here you are!” I said as I place the pizza and rolls on the counter. “This was already made because somepony had the wrong order. That’ll be 9-“ suddenly Photo Finish places a sack of bits on the counter and takes the pizza. “Thank you for your time. Now… WE GO!” Photo Finish and her employees trot out of the shop while upbeat music plays in the background.

“Umm… she forgot her receipt.” I said.

So after a little while went by, we took on Rarity’s offer and went over to her boutique so we can be her models. Rarity was currently putting an outfit on Aqua. They were struggling.

"Hold still, dear!" Rarity instructed him.

"I can't wear this, it's too tight!" Aqua complained.

"Oh it'll fit you, darling." Rarity said as she tried to put on one of the button's on Aqua's shirt. "Just..... give it....." Rarity places the last button on the shirt and stitches it on, and then Aqua's outfit was finished. "There we are! Oh you look adorable, Aquatic!" Aqua was wearing a fancy blouse with a black with white stripped vest, and some brown dancing shoes.

"He looks like a dweeb.” Engie said.

"Oh heavens Engineer! He doesn’t look like a dweeb. He look smashing!" Rarity said.

“This thing is smashin’ my lungs.” Aqua said.

“Engie, you wouldn’t know good fashion if it bit you in the leg.” Psyche said.

“Well come to think of it, ah might- OW!” Engie cried out. He looked down and he saw me biting his leg. “Flare why are ya bitin’ me?!”

“Do you know good fashion yet?” I asked.

"Flare, that was a figure of speech.” Psyche corrected me.

"Why are you making these fancy tuxedos for us anyway?" Blaze asked.

"For the Grand Galloping Gala of course!" Rarity cried out in excitement.

"The Grand Gall- Rarity, we don't even know if we're going! We don't even have any tickets yet." Blaze corrected her.

"Not to worry, Blaze! The tickets might come in the last second." Rarity said. “If these tuxedos won't be used for the gala, they'd be useful for some other event."

"Hiya boys! What do you think?" Crystal asked as she comes out of the dressing room wearing an icy blue with some dark blue and white dress. Everypony stares over at Crystal. Psyche's wings go up really fast and one of Aqua's buttons popped out of his blouse.

"Wow Crystal! Ya look amazin'!" Engie said.

Crystal giggled. "Thanks Engie.” She said.

"Crystal if a modeling agent came right in, you'd get accepted right away!" Blaze said.

"Look at you Crystal dear! You look so fabulous!" Rarity said.
"Aw c'mon guys!" Crystal said as she blushed. "You're all too kind."

"Oh wait, one more thing." I said as I took out a fake mustache and places it on Crystal’s lip. “Perfect! Crystal looks beautiful!”

"Oh, she's perfect now!" Psyche teased as everypony laughed.

“Yeah Crystal, you look like you have the same mustache as Bulk Bicep’s mom!” Spike laughed.

"Very funny.” Crystal said sarcastically.

"Yep, I can see it now! The Noble Six shining at the Grand Galloping Gala. Everypony praising on my fabulous work!" Rarity said in excitment. "And they said I couldn't do stallions too. Goodness, look at the six of you!"

"Yeah our tuxes look great!" Blaze said.

"I even get a top hat included!" Psyche said.
"And look at mine! Mine's so fancy I have..... a bow tie, instead of a tongue tie! Leet!" I said.

"Now all you need are some gems!" Rarity said.

"Oh thank you Rarity. But no need!" Psyche said.

"Oh, but I must! That collar and those sleeves seem naked without a type priceless jewel to hide the shame." Rarity said. "Don't you all worry! I'll be right back!" Rarity runs to the back room to get some jewels.

“Couldn’t you just get it?” Engie asked Spike.

“HA! You don’t know me.” Spike said.

"Nothing seems to be too perfect for Rarity, huh?" Aqua asked.

"Yeah Rare seems rare. Lawl!” I teased. “But seriously, these outfits look great on us!”

“Yeah we sure do! We definitely look better than Miley Cyrus after she left Hannah Montana.” Blaze said.

“Everypony looks better than Miley Cyrus after she left Hannah Montana.” I corrected him. “It’s BEFORE she left Hannah Montana that we cannot beat.”

“Gosh, where did those days go?” Engie shook her head and asked. “This is why children shouldn’t be stars. They grow up, they lose it all.”

“Yeah, just look at Amanda Bynes!” Blaze said. “I LOVED Amanda Bynes! But now… I dunno, I haven’t seen her newer work so I can’t say.”

“But regardless, I bet if a modeling agent went through that door right now, I'm sure we'll all be accepted! It'd be like a dream, brah!" I said.

Just then, out of coincidence, one of Photo Finish's assistants came bursting through the door. "Excuse me? I'm looking for....." the assistant immediately stops talking and gasps and stares at the us. "You six! Come with me! Time to be fabulous!"

"Uhh... what just happened?" Engie asked.

"What a coincidence! I was talking about modeling agents and there's one right now! May the Wizards be praised!" I yelled.

“Wow, that escalated quickly.” Blaze said. “But still, I believe it’ll be fun. It’s like teasing a teacher.”

A cutaway gag that’s similar to a passed cutaway gag shows a teacher teaching a younger Blaze Goldheart a math problem. “Look, Blaze, it’s quite simple. If I have five bottles of cider on one hoof, and six bottles on another hoof, what would I have?” the teacher asked.

“A drinking problem?” Blaze asked.

“NO, 11! THE ANSWER IS 11!” the teacher yelled out in anger.

“That’s still a lot. You should take counseling.” Blaze advised him. The cutaway ends.

So the Noble Six and Spike followed the assistant outside, and Rarity comes back downstairs with some gems. "Darlings, I have the gems for you!" she said. She gasped because nopony was in the room. Rarity felt a bit insulted. "Well I never! How rude of them to leave without telling Rarity! Oh Opal, do they even like those outfits I made for them?" she asked her cat Opal. Opal just stretched, and scratched the pillow she was on. "Some ponies just don't understand work of art that comes from the dress, huh? Well.... stallions don't wear dresses, but I mean.... you know what I mean!”

So, the seven of us followed the assistant to the place where Photo Finish is. I guess judging from the MLP app, she’s in a tent. "Just wait here, she'll be with you in a second." the assistant advises us and goes inside the tent.

"Kay, a second's up.” I teased.

"Do you have to act smart all the time, Flare?" Blaze asked.

"I wasn't acting smart, I was just kidding around. If I acted smart I'd say what equals pie and MC square or something." I corrected him.

“PIE?! Where?! Oh snap, I really crave some right now!” Crystal yelled.

"I can't believe we're going to be models!" Psyche said excitedly. “I could really use a Jelly Belly right now!”

“Wow, Psyche, you’re really into those Jelly Babies now, aren’t you?” I asked.

“Ever since you gave me those samples back in space, they’re no obsessive, you know?!” Psyche asked excitedly.

"Ah can't wait either. What were the odds of us becoming models?" Engie asked. He takes off his helmet revealing his bald spot, and then he said, "And ah didn't even have to grow any hair.”

"Perhaps I might be a model of something that involves a fan blowing on my face. That'd be awesome!" Blaze said.

"I hope I'll be one of those astronaut models!" Psyche said. "I might even be on the cover of Lunar Space magazine!"

"As if! I was already on the cover of Equestria Food Corner magazine!" I said as I showed my friends the magazine with me and my pizza on it.

"That picture ain't half bad, mate!” Aqua said.

"Ah want mah snapshots of me to be buildin robots, or machines, or somethin." Engie said.

"I want my snapshots to be me doing poses on the clouds, or the snow. That would be my dream modeling job!" Crystal said.

“I’m only here because the assistant asked us all to come.” Spike said. “Plus, it wouldn’t be so bad to see you all reach your fame! I’m proud of you!”

“What about you, Spike?” I asked.

“Meh, I don’t want to be a model. I’d rather be a stunt-dragon. That’s how I’m going to reach fame.” Spike said.

Just then, Photo Finish comes out of the tent and takes a look at us. “Oh yes! My stallion models have arrived!”

“Stallion models?” Aqua asked.

“Yes! I have seen my contract. It would seem that stallion models are indeed allowed. Equestria cannot wait to see what stallions I have in stock for them!”

“And mare.” Crystal added.

“Maybe.” Photo Finish said. “All of you, in! You must show me what fashion you have! Show me…. da magiks!”

“Wanna see my bubble shield spell, or maybe my laser blast spell?” I offered. “Pew, pew, pew!” I shouted as I shot a couple of laser blasts into the air. No, not Shoop Da Whoop. Laser Blast and Shoop Da Whoop are two different spells. Laser Blast is like a blaster, and Shoop Da Whoop…. well, you know what that is.

“I think she means… I’m not gonna say it.” Blaze was about to correct me, but stopped himself.

“YOU ALL, inside! Wait for my assistant to call your name, and I will be your judge.” Photo Finish instructed us.

“You don’t even know our names.” Psyche corrected us.

“But of course!” Photo Finish smacked her head and takes out a clipboard. “Sign, names, here.”

“Is she a cavepony or something when she talks like that?” Crystal asked. So the seven of us were sitting in the waiting room, and the six of us were waiting for our turn. Can you guess the one who’s not waiting?

Anyways, the assistant pony comes out with a clipboard. "Blaze Goldheart?"

"Looks I'm first! Step outta my way, Noble Six. I'll show you how it's done!" Blaze said.

"Actually, you’re gonna be in the other room. We won't see ya." Engie corrected him.

Blaze walks inside the room and Photo Finish is behind the camera. "Ah, you must be Blaze Goldheart! Just the stallion I've been looking for!" she said ash she walked towards him.

"Okay." Blaze said.

Photo Finish walks around Blaze, observing his body and outfit. "Now tell me, Mr. Goldheart. What do you do for a living?"

"I work for the Wonderbolts." Blaze said.

"The Wonderbolt, huh?" Photo Finish said to him, looking at his tail. "They make great magazine covers and posters! Trust me, I build da magic with them already."

"Okay." Blaze said.

"Tell me about your childhood, Mr. Goldheart." she said whiling measuring his body.

"I'd rather not." Blaze said.

"Oh, but you must! I'm quite interested and I am sure the ponies of Equestria will want to as well!” Photo Finish said.

"I know, but my childhood is something I'd rather not think about." Blaze said.

"I see." Photo Finish said as she observing inside Blaze’s mouth. "You're perfect! I can see a big future for you, Miser Goldheart!"

"Thank you!" Blaze said.

"NEXT!" Photo Finish cried out.

Blaze jumps out back into the waiting room and cheers. "I got the job!" he cried in excitement. The Noble Six cheered for him, and gave him high hooves.

"Way to go, Blaze!" Psyche said excitedly.

“Yeah, but you weren’t there for that long. Then again, it didn’t take long for Fluttershy to get noticed by Photo Finish.” Spike said.

"Thanks! You're up next, Psyche!" Blaze said. Psyche walks in and sees Photo Finish. Photo Finish walks to him and checks him out.

"Welcome, Miser Psyche!" Photo Finish said as she observes him. "I already see a bright future for you! Purple, and that mane, and that tail! Ooo, those stars! It's perfect!"

"Alright, cool!" Psyche said. "This was much easier than I expected! Much easier than expecting a surprise from my mom.”

A cutaway shows Psyche’s mom walk towards Psyche as a colt and she was carrying a T-shirt that says ‘Mama’s Favorite’. “Hey, mama! What’s that?” Psyche asked.

“It’s a T-Shirt for my special little pony!” Psyche’s mom said.

“Oh boy! Thanks mom!” Psyche said excitedly.

“Thanks for what?” Psyche’s mom asked while wearing the T-shirt. The cutaway ends.

"Modeling is such an easy job, Miser Psyche!" Photo Finish said. "All you need to do is pose and look your best! Then you'll be hearing many ponies saying the name 'Psyche Illution'!"

“I’m actually already kinda famous because of that article I wrote of the secrets of the moon.” Psyche said.

“Well you’ll be famous by a lot more ponies because posing has nothing to do with boring science.” Photo Finish said.

“Excuse me?!” Psyche asked feeling insulted.

“I said, you’re in.” Photo Finish said.

"Oh. Sounds awesome!" Psyche cried out excitedly. He jumped back out where we were and he started jumping around and cheering. "I got the job! I got the job!"

"Seriously? Dang, this is too easy!" Engie said.

"You're next, Engie!" Psyche said. Engie walks inside and poses for Photo Finish.

“Ah’m ready for mah close-up, Miss Finish!” Engie said.

Photo Finish walks up to him and checks him out. "Yes! A southwestern pony! I like it!" she said.

"Ah also like to build sentries, dispensers, and teleporters for mah team. Except for Scout. He’s annoyin’." Engie said.

"Oh you do now?" Photo Finish asked.

"Eeyup!" Engie said.

"You'll be buildin not just machines, but das magics, Miser Engie!" Photo Finish said.

"Ah, well ah'm not a unicorn." Engie said.

"Not das magics!" Photo Finish corrected him as she shows him some magazine covers. "Das magics! The art of fashion, and modeling!"

“Soooo… did ah get the part?” Engie asked. After a couple of minutes, he walked back out, looking pretty upset.

"You didn't get the part?" Blaze asked.

"Oh ah got the part." Engie nodded. "But now ah'm gonna be missin’ many matches with mah team 'cause of this job."

"Not a problem! All ya're doing is getting alot of money for just posing, and do what the agent says. It should be pretty quick. Ya'll be with your team in no time!" Aqua said.

"Ah, that reminds me. Go on in Aqua!" Engie instructed him. Aqua walks inside and Photo Finish checks him out.

"Yes! YES! YES! YEEEES!" Photo Finish yells.
"Are ya okay?" Aqua asked.

"Now this is what I call das magics!" Photo Finish said as she observed him. "Blue really suits you, Miser Armor!"

"Thanks! I know many cool water tricks!" Aqua said.

"And that accent you have! Brilliant!" Photo Fish cried out. Oh woops, typo. Stupid auto-correct. Photo Finish cried out.

"What does my accent have to do with it?" Aqua asked.

"A true modeler always has a fantastico voice!" Photo Finish said. “Plus, it is not just the accent with the voice. It is also the accent of how you look.”

“I see what ya mean.” Aqua nodded.

“Please, don’t them about me, Aqua, eh?” Aqua’s armor begged Aqua in a Canadian accent.

“Don’t worry ‘bout it.” Aqua whispered. So Aqua walks back out to his friends. "This is too easy! We'll all no doubt get the part!" he said to us. "Photo Finish is such an easy pony to impress!"

"Yeah, yeah, BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA SHTAIRS! Can I go in now?" I asked rudely.

"Go ahead, Flare." Aqua said. So I jumped inside in front of Photo Finish and posed for her.

"Greetings Photo Finish! Flare Gun's the name, and game is my posing!” I said. “No wait, I said it backwards. Can I start over?”

"Ah, Miser Gun! Just the unicorn I wanted to see!" Photo Finish said as she checksme out. "Ah yes! That mane is fabulous! Those eyes are so beautiful, and it all goes well with your fantastic red fur!"

“That’s how I was born. I was born this way.” I said. “Wait a minute! Do I know you from somewhere?”

"You must see me on TV, or on magazines. Or, are you just going to call me Pony Gaga?" Photo Finish asked.

"Yeah…. Pony Gaga.” I admitted.

"No, she's a singer. Singing is not das magics. It's all the looks, Miser Gun! The emotion, the outfits, the fame!" Photo Finish explained.

"I still think you look like Pony Gaga." I said. "I bet you'd look great in a meat dress!"

"MEAT DRESS?!" Photo Finish yelled in anger, but then she calmed down and took a deep breath. "Hm.... perhaps. You got job! YOU, bring me the last one." So as I was feeling a little bit confused over that cavepony-like voice she was talking in, I went back outside to greet my friends.

"I swear, Photo Finish looks really familiar to me.” I said.

"Who? Pony Gaga?" Psyche asked.

"Well, yes her, but she kinda looks like somepony I hang with. You have any idea, Blaze?" I asked.

"Not a clue what you're talking about, brah.” Blaze said.

“Didgya get the job?” Engie asked.

"Yes I got the job, but that’s not important. Who is Photo Finish? Who is she really?” I asked. “Oh, and all that leaves is you, Crystal! You'll no doubt get it, but good luck anyway!"

Crystal blushed. "Umm.... I'm a little nervous. I dunno."

"C'mon Crystal, get in there and show Pony Gaga what you’re made of.” Psyche instructed her.

"Well.... I'm.... a little shy." Crystal said.

"C'mon Crystal! Ya can do it!” Aqua said.

“In any way you can’t do it, can I have your hot tub?” I asked.

“She’s not gonna die, man.” Blaze corrected me.

“I just want her hot tub.” I said.

“C’mon Crystal!” Spike begged.

The six of us started chanting. "CRYSTAL! CRYSTAL! CRYSTAL! CRYSTAL! CRYSTAL! CRYSTAL! CRYSTAL!"

"Alright, alright, I'll do it!" she nodded. “But Flare’s still not getting my hot tub.”

“Wow, first I couldn’t cheat on my test, and now I can’t even have a hot tub. Nothing goes my way anymore!” I complained. So all of Crystal’s friends all cheered for her. She walked inside to Photo Finish. "Hello, Ms. Finish."

"Hm? You Miss Crystal Iceblast?" Photo asked.

"The one and only!" Crystal said.

"Well, let's check you out." Photo Finish said as she begins to observe Crystal. "Hmm..." she mumbled. She looked at her body for a minute, and afterwards, she then made her decision. "Nah. Not what I'm looking for."

Crystal squeed. "That's great, I've always wanted- wait what?" she asked as her excitement died down.

"Sorry, not a picture perfect pony. That’s a song I sing.” Photo Finish said.

"Wait, did I get the part?" Crystal asked.

"YOU… GO!" Photo Finish demanded. Crystal gasped, and ran to her.

"NO! I need this part! I've been dreaming of being a model! All my friends are going!" she begged while her hooves were on Photo Finish’s dress.

"Ew! Dirty hooves on my dress! SECURITY!" Photo Finish cried out. Her assistant grabbed Crystal and through her back into the waiting room. Crystal was in shock.

"Soooo, did you get it?" Aqua asked. Crystal didn't say anything.

“Brahs, don’t be so obvious. It’s obviously yes. She’s so excited, she’s speechless!” I said.

"Crystal?" Engie asked. "Crystal, y'all alright? What happend?" Crystal still didn't say anything.

"I don't think she got the part." Blaze said.

"You think?" Psyche asked sarcastically.

“Was that sarcasm?” I asked.

“Will you EVER notice the difference, Flare?” Psyche asked.

“I don’t think so. I don’t really get sarcasm all the time, like I don’t get that Hub Network is showing the movie Space Balls and rating it as a ‘family’ movie.” I pointed out.

A cutaway gag shows Nostalga Critic looking at his camera and saying, “Y’know, FOR KIDS!” The cutaway ends.

“I don’t believe she didn’t accept me.” Crystal said as she wallowed on the floor.

“I don’t believe it either. You’re much prettier then any of us.” I said. “Except for Psyche’s he’s prettier.

“Oh, thank you, Flare!” Psyche nodded.

“Only another mare can be prettier than a mare.” I said.

“I knew there was a twist to that compliment.” Psyche said. “I just knew it.”

"I'm gonna go talk to her. The Noble Six stay together till the end, and I kinda just started with this story.” I said. So I walked inside the room Photo Finish was in, and I went to go talk to her.

"Ah you're back!" Photo Finish said excitedly. "Want me to observe your beautiful looks again?"

"Gaga, did you-“ I was about to say but she interrupts.

"Name’s is not Pony Gaga, its Photo Finish. We’re nothing alike.” Photo Finish said.

"Whatever. Why did you not accept Crystal?" I asked.

"Crystal?" Photo Finish asked.

"Yeah, Crystal Iceblast." I said.

"Who?" Photo Finish asked.

"The….. holy Wizard of Strength, how do I put this without identifying her by color?” I got a little nervous because I didn’t know what to say next. “Umm… the… the only… no, that would be sexist saying the ‘female’ one. Umm… umm… the last one that came in… no, if I say that Crystal might feel a little insulted because she doesn’t like being last. Umm… dang, how do I put it? Ok I’ll just say it. The blue one that came in here!”

“Aquatic Armor?” Photo Finish asked.

“No the light blue one.” I corrected her. “I really don’t feel comfee with this conversation right now.”

"Ah, that one! No, she’s not model material." Photo Finish said.

"But sista, this offends us big time!" I said. "We're the Noble Six, and we stick together.”

"Ah, you're right!" Photo Finish agreed.

"Of course I'm right, I'm awesome! Awesome possum!" I said. “I’m so awesome that… I don’t even have to use the word ‘awesome’. I can use the word ‘aweveryone’. Instead of some, it’s everyone. Where was I? Oh yeah. I’m glad you understand that the Noble Six has to stay together to be a whole.”

"There shouldn't be a 'six' in the name. You should be called the Noble Five. Yes, it sounds fascinating, wouldn't you agree? Then there can only be five of you.” Photo Finish suggested.

"I appreciate the suggestion, but I'm not going to join this modeling business of yours if Crystal isn't joining us.” I said.

"But I'm going to make you a star! Isn't that what everypony's dream is?" Photo Finish asked. "Not to mention the wealth!"

"Well, now that you mention it, I do need some money to expand my shop." I thought to myself.

"And we shall advertise it too!" Photo Finish said.

"You're gonna advertise my shop?" I asked.

"No extra charge! All we need is your and your friends’ wonderful looks!" Photo Finish said as she squints her hooves above and below her eyes like a camera looking at me.

“Oh no, I’m not falling for that! That’s not going to be the friendship lesson this time! I will not abandon a friend for fame. Trust me; I learned that already by being Jeff Gorspeed’s crew chief. Fool me once, I’m the fool. Fool me twice…. I’m still the fool. Now fool me ten times, I’d pity myself. Not even Mr. T. can pity me.” I said.

“Alright, Miser Gun, you drive a hard-bargain. If it gets you and your friends to sign your contracts, I’ll give your friend a job.” Photo Finish said as she gave me a contract.

“Thank you, Miss Finish! I really appreciate it.” I said thankfully.

“The pleasure is all mine, my new shinning star.” Photo Finish said with a smile.

A few minutes later, I walked back into the waiting room. Crystal smiled as she saw me walk out. "Did you get her to accept me?" Crystal asked.

"Yes! I successfully gave you the chance to work with us, Crystal!” I said excitedly. “Photo Finish has the perfect job for you!"

"AWESOME!" Crystal cried out in excitement and she started dancing. "Oh yeah, I'm gonna be a model! I'm gonna be a model! I'm gonna be a model! Do-do-do ma-model! YES!"

"Oh, you're not gonna be a model." I corrected her. Crystal stopped dancing and jumping, and she just floated there in mid-jump with a concerned look on her face.

"Huh?" she asked.

"You're now going to be one of Photo Finish's assistants." I said.

"But I wanted to be a model." Crystal complained.

"Well, you're working for a modeling agent, that's pretty good, isn't it?" I asked.

Crystal looked down, very upsettingly. “But I wanted to be a model.”

“Crystal, Flare did all he could. You’re lucky to get this job.” Blaze said, trying to comfort her.

“Yeah, don’t be so stubborn.” Engie demanded.

“Now I even know THAT was uncalled for, Engie.” Spike said.

“Look Crystal, Photo Finish needs us, but she doesn’t see the spark in you, but she still cares about what we think. The Noble Six will always stick together, no matter what. This was the best I could do. I apologize.” I said.

“You know what, Flare? You don’t need to apologize.” Crystal said as she smiled. “You’re right. The Noble Six do stick together. You five could’ve just went off without me but nope, you fought for our friendship, and to me, that sounds like a good enough reason to just be an assistant.”

"That's the spirit, partner!" Engie said excitedly

"Time to be models!” Aqua said excitedly but still quietly. "So where is it gonna be?"

"She said we'll be at the park tomorrow at 9 in the morning.” I said.

“We’re gonna be famous, partners!” Engie said excitedly. “Ah can see it now! Ah can see the magic of fame rise!”

“Yeah… fame… right.” Crystal said as she faked a smile.

So after a while, Crystal, Engie, Aqua, Psyche, Spike, and I went on home. Blaze went with me though cause he was feeling a little lonesome at home. Blaze was lying on my bed and I was staring at my fish as I talked to Blaze. "Glad you come over, brah. Why do you feel so lonesome at home anyway?” I asked.

"Rainbow went on a trip." Blaze said.

“No I didn’t, I’m right here you liar.” Rainbow, my fish, corrected him.

“I don’t think he meant you.” Piddles corrected him. He then looked at his reflection and started to complain. “Oh look, my identical twin is back. I TOLD YOU TO GET LOST!” he starts to chase his reflection.

“Oh Piddles.” Rainbow shook his head and said.

"Thanks for letting me stay with you for the weekend, man. I really need it.” Blaze said.

"No problemo, brah! You're like my bestest buddy!" I admited. "Shhh, don't tell Psyche. I think he'll be jealous.”

Blaze chuckled. "Yeah, I suppose."

"Can't wait to become a model! I never really thought of being one until today." I said.

"Yeah, me neither." Blaze said.

"Wasn't talking to you, Blaze. I was talking to my fish. They seem pretty interested." I corrected him.

"Not really.” Yoyo admitted.

"I actually am!" Darrel said excitedly. “I never thought of a male model before. Sounds really interesting to think about!”

“Wow, Darrel. Wow.” Yoyo shook his head and said.

"But still, dude. You think we'll be good models?" Blaze asked.

"Of course we will!" I said excitedly as I turned around and looked at him. "Photo Finish seems to think so! But, seriously, she seems very familiar to me. How come you don't recognize her?"

"I just don't." Blaze said.

"Well you don't have good eyes, don't you?" I asked.

"My eye sight is fine, man.” Blaze said.

"You say that, but next thing you'll know you'll be crashing into a tree like Tarzan.” I said.

“That’s George of the Jungle, dude.” Blaze corrected me.

“George of the Jungle is a Tarzan rip-off.” I said.

"Don't worry, Flare. I haven't crashed in months!" Blaze said.

"You say that now, but next thing you'll know, you'll be crashing into a tree like George of the Jungle." I said. “See? I said it right.”

"You said it already though.” Blaze said.

"You say that now, but you next thing you know, you'll be crashing into a tree like George of the Jungle." I said again.

"Alright, sure, whatever man." Blaze said.

"You say that now, but next thing you'll know-" I said.

"Okay shut up." Blaze interrupted me.

"Tell me more of about you being a model!" Darrel cried out.

"He can't hear you, Darrel. Remember?" Rainbow reminded him.

“Oh I soooooo envy him!” Pearl said.

Dorthey snorts and smiles and said, “Like you even have a chance of being a model, Pearl.”

“I didn’t say I did, Dorthey. I just said I evny him. You REALLY don’t have to be such a jerk about it.” Pearl complained as she swam off towards her castle, but she gets knocked over by Piddles. “OW! Piddles?!”

“Sorry! I found my favorite rock, but I see my identical twin has one too. I have to hide this before he finds out where it is.” Piddles explained as he swam off.

The next day came, all of us, except Crystal, walked over to the park. We looked our best while they were there. “Wow, Engie! I like those overalls!” I said as I looked at Engie’s overalls that look exactly like his old ones.

“Much obliged!” Engie said. “These are mah special occasion overalls. Unlike mah other overalls, these are clean and mint condition.”

“Well I don’t think my breath is in mint condition. Anypony have a Tic-Tac?” Aqua asked.

“Yeah, I have some, Aqua.” Psyche offered.

“Are those white Tic-Tacs?” Aqua asked.

“Yeah.” Psyche said.

“Um… ok then.” Aqua said as he takes some.

“Is there a problem?” Psyche asked.

“No, not a problem.” Aqua said.

“Are you sure? You seem to not be happy with these Tic-Tacs.” Blaze said.

“Well, it’s just… ya know… winter green is the best type of Tic-Tac, and it’s the only one I ever eat.” Aqua said.

“Sorry, Aqua. I’ll get some next time.” Psyche said.

“Why? When he can have some THIS time.” I said as I offered Aqua some wintergreen Tic-Tacs.

“Oh that is MUCH BETTER.” Aqua said as he takes some. “Thanks, mate!”

“Flare, you have to be full of yourself, huh?” Psyche asked me.

“Well… I can’t be full of somepony else now can I?” I reminded him. “Ponies keep saying, ‘be yourself’.”

“Can’t argue with…. that.” Engie said as he sighs.

“So where’s Photo Finish? Isn’t she supposed to be here by now?” Aqua asked.

“Ah know. She said 9, and it’s already…. 9:02!” Engie said.

“Yeah, she’s not coming.” I said.

“Now, now, let’s not lose our patience.” Blaze said.

“We’re not doctors, brah.” I corrected him. “Except for Psyche.”

“Yeah, PH.D in Astronomy, and yet none of you call me ‘doctor’.” Psyche complained.

“Ah have a Masters degree in engineerin’, obviously.” Engie said.

“I ALMOST have a Masters in Alchemy, and afterwards, a PH.D. I’ll soon be a doctor as well.” Aqua said.

“Bachelors degree over here, y’all… in cooking.” I said.

“I never went to college. I’m an athlete.” Blaze said.

“Wow, Blaze, you’re hanging with a bunch of NERDS!” Psyche teased.

“That’s fine by me.” Blaze said. So we’ve been waiting in the park for a half-hour and Photo Finish wasn’t around.

"Flare, we’ve been waitin’ ‘ere for a half-hour. Where is she?” Aqua asled/

"She said 9.” I said.

"Are we too early. Are you sure you got the timing correct?" Psyche asked.

"It said 9 PM! That's…. oh dang!" I yelled. Blaze sighed and gave himself a facehoof.

"Keep an eye on the time, brah!” Blaze yelled.

“Ah, my superstars are here!” Photo Finish said excitedly.

“No, wait, it did say AM. My bad.” I said.

"Oh there they are!” Engie said. Photo Finish and her crew went over to us to set everything up. Photo Finish was being carried by two stallions and they set the thing they were carrying her on down. Photo Finish cleared her throat and looked over at Crystal.

"Oh sorry." Crystal said as she ducked down in front of the thing that held Photo Finish. She stepped down her back and stepped on the ground. “Ooo!” Crystal truggled.

"Wait, you're her step stool, Crystal?" Blaze asked.

"Not just that; I've also been cleaning her trailer." Crystal said. “This is a dream come true, Blaze! I’m working for a modeling agent!”

"No more talking." Photo Finish said to Crystal. She looked over at the Noble Five and said, "Welcome to your first day of snapshots! You all look divine! Let's make das magics!"

"Do ya have to say it like that?" Engie asked.

“Ok, I have five different sets for you. YOU!” Photo Finish points to Aqua. “Here!” she then points to a medieval type of display and props. “YOU!” she points to Psyche. “Here!” she points to a stary outer space type of display and props. “YOU!” she points to Blaze. “Here!” she then points to the sky that shows some of her pegasi assistants creating a sky type display. “YOU!” she points at Engie. “Here!” she then points to a display of electronics. “YOU!” she then points at me.

“Hey, you’s got a name!” I corrected her. “Oh listen to me, I sound Italian!”

“HERE!” Photo Finish points to a kitchen type of display.

“Wow! Fancy kitchen!” I commented the kitchen display. “It’s so fancy that it has a hook that holds the cooking utensils!”

“Well snap.” Crystal said.

“Well I’ll be. It’s like bein’ in an Elder Scrolls game but in real life.” Aqua said. “Except without the very difficult enemies at the beginnin’ of Morrowind, makin’ it improbable to get through the rest of the game.”

Psyche whistles as he sees his display. “Wow, it’s like one of those space documentary covers where there’s a stary background and a comet going through it, and the pony in the cover, which is me, posing like this.” Psyche starts facing northeast up into the sky with an emotionless look on his face. “I love those covers.”

“Mah cover could be better. If ah was a mare, that would be a different story. Ah’m not laying on these on mah stomach, nekkid, with mah hind legs in the air.” Engie complained.

“HA! I love the way you said ‘naked’.” I laughed.

“Not to worry, Miser Engineer. You’re a supermodel, not a… I am forbidden to say the word.” Photo Finish said.

"Seriously, Photo Finish looks really familiar.” I said.

“Now, we must create! SHOOT!” Photo Finish cried out.

“AAAH! Don’t kill me!” I cried out.

The whole day, Photo Finish has been taking pictures of us. She took pictures of Blaze first with heroic poses in the sky for sports magazines, Psyche has those space photos he wanted with himself looking into a computer animated stary sky for space magazines, Engie poses while at the same time looking like he’s building machinery for electronic magazines (and I don’t mean the magazines are electronic), Aqua poses for different medieval circumstances like a dragon and a princess and a king and a joust for fantasy magazines, and as for yours truly, all he has to do is show off his different dishes with him just smiling at camera….. now all we need to know is, what did I do, and furthermore, who is yours truly? The five of us were having the time of our lives with these shoots. Photo Finish was sitting down the whole time watching the show while Crystal was filing her hooves.

"Wonderful!" Photo Finish cried. "Wonderful! I can see it now! Everypony will be talking about the Noble Five from year’s on out!"

Crystal gasped. "The Noble...... Five?" she asked sadly.

“Who said you can talk?” Photo Finish asked Crystal.

“Six, Photo Finish. Noble Six.” Blaze corrected her.

“Sure, whatever. We done here! My assistance will give you call when I need you, until then, WE GO!” Photo Finish cried out as she and all of her employees as well as everything they brought with them, including our change of clothes run off.

“Just as ah thought…. we all end up nekkid in the end.” Engie complained.

“HA!” I laughed. “I’ll never get tired of your accent, Engie!” So after the five- err, four of us find our clothes, we all went out to get some oriental food for lunch, so we all head over to this oriental restaurant close to Sugarcube Corner. Crystal wasn’t able to join us since she’s assisting Photo Finish, so the five of us went ourselves. After looking at the menu, I came to a conclusion, “I’m sorry, we cannot do this without Crystal.”

“We can’t do what without Crystal?” Aqua asked.

“We can’t eat here without her.” I said.

“Bro, I understand you’re upset because Crystal isn’t able to join us, but that doesn’t mean we can’t live our lives without her.” Blaze said.

“That’s not what I mean, brah.” I corrected him. “We can’t eat here without her.”

“Why not?” Blaze asked.

“Let me walk through it; our stand here is the steamed dumpling appetizer, orange hayrolls for me, shrimp with lobster sauce for Engie, oats with baby corn for Psyche, a veggie lo-main for Aqua, tree-ribs for you since you don’t like oriental food, and finally, a large watercress soup for Crystal.” I explained. “See the problem there?”

“I see A problem.” Blaze said as he looked me.

“Our entire order is predicated on six dumplings and six entrées divided by six ponies.” I said.

“So we’ll just order five entrées.” Psyche suggested.

“Fine, what do you want to eliminate and who gets the extra dumpling?” I asked.

“We could cut it into fives.” Aqua suggested.

“No, then it’s no longer a dumpling.” Engie said. “Once ya cut it open, it’s a very small open-faced sandwich.”

“Exactly, Engie gets the idea.” I said.

“Heya fellas.” Our waiter said. “Oh, where’s that obnoxious blue pegasus that’s always in your group?”

“You mean Rainbow Dash? Blaze said she’s out of town.” I said as Blaze gives me a glare.

“Crystal is busy.” Psyche said. “Hey can we get an order of dumplings but with five instead of six?”

“No substitutions.” The waiter said.

“It’s not a substitution, it’s a reduction.” Psyche corrected him.

“Ok; no reductions.” The waiter said.

“Fine, bring us five separate orders of dumplin’s.” Engie requested.

“That works.” Aqua said.

“No, if we fill up on dumplings we’ll need to eliminate another entrée.” I said.

“No eliminations.” The waiter said.

“If we have extra, we’ll just take the leftovers home.” Blaze said.

“And divide it how? I’m telling you, we can’t do this without Crystal.” I said.

“Crystal is busy with Photo Finish. If you needed a sixth, you could’ve invited Spike.” Blaze suggested.

“Have you seen Spike eat Oriental food? He uses a fork and he double-dips the egg rolls.” I said.

“We don’t order egg rolls.” Blaze corrected me.

“Exactly, but we’d have to if he was here.” I said.

“Excuse me, but there are many ponies starving in the slums of Trottingham and there’s a Trottingite starving right here.” Psyche complained.

“You are all nice stallions.” The waiter said. “Tell you what I’ll do. I’ll bring the six dumplings and then when I’m walking to the table, maybe I get bumped, one of the dumplings fall on the floor. Nopony has to know.”

“I’ll know.” I said. “Also, aren’t you the same pony that delivered the oriental food to my trailer that had plutonium in it?”

“If you weren’t friends with a dragon I’d hit you on the head real hard with my tray.” The waiter threatened me.

“Was that a threat? Do I need to call the police?” I asked.

“Do I need to call the police for trespassing on this property?” the waiter asked. Just as the waiter walks away, Engie’s phone starts ringing. He doesn’t bother answering it though.

“Aren’t you going to answer that, Engie?” Psyche asked.

“No. We’re havin’ dinner. It’s rude to talk on the phone durin’ dinner.” Engie said as his phone stops ringing and then Psyche’s phone started.

“Yeah well, I do.” Psyche said as he answers his phone. “Dr. Psyche Illution, number 1 astronomer in Equestria, how can I help you?”

“Yeah the title ‘doctor’ doesn’t really suit his name.” Engie whispered.

“You’re telling me that, Engie.” Psyche whispered back to him, and then he said to those who were calling, “No this is not the Noble Five, this is the Noble Six. Yes. Uh huh. Ok. Wow. That’s a… pretty big deal. That’s going to take a lot out of our time. And how much is that? Wow… you’re paying us that much, huh? You must be desperate. Yeah, I know that’s our contract. Alright. I’ll tell them. Thank you for the heads-up. Bye.” He hangs up.

“Who was that?” Engie asked.

“It turns out our dry-cleaning is going to take a while to get done. Engie has a nasty grease stain on his overalls.” Psyche said as his phone starts ringing again. “Hello? No this is not the Noble Five, it’s the Noble Six.” He pretty much said the same exact thing as his last phone conversation so I’ll just skip it. So he hangs up. “Photo Finish wants us to go with her on a modeling tour. She sent our photos in and so many companies are asking for more.”

“We look that good, huh? I never woulda’ thought of it.” Aqua said.

“Why not? You’re super-handsome, Aqua; and yes, I am flirting with you.” I said.

“As long as Crystal is comin’ along, ah don’t see any point in refusin’.” Engie said.

“Right! So I guess I’m willing to take some time off to become a model and spend some time with the busy Crystal Iceblast. What do you all think?” Blaze asked.

“I’m in!” Psyche said.

“Dibs!” Engie said.

“We haven’t even eaten yet though.” I said.

“So what’s keeping you, Flare?” Psyche asked.

“I’m waiting for Bonnie or Lyra to take our- oooooooh, right.” I just realized Bonnie and Lyra were vacationing. “Who’s gonna watch my store while I’m gone?”

A cutaway shows a customer walking into my shop. Pinkie Pie bursts out and yells out, “Hi! Welcome to Flare’s Pizza Parlor, where every day is a pizza party! Including on Sunday mornings where everypony is at church and everypony has to stay quiet, which is super-dooper boring!”

“Ok then. Table for one please.” The customer requested. As soon as the customer gets seated, he / she looks at his / her menu to see what he / she wants (I haven’t figured out who this pony should be, alright?). When the customer lowers his / her menu, he / she sees Gummy on the table staring at him / her. “Oh hey, you must be my waiter. I’ll take the lasagna and some pink lemonade, please.” The customer looks at menu again and said, “Oh, and does the lasagna come with- wait, what?” the customer was shocked to see that Gummy already brought the customer the food. “Wow, now that’s what I call fast service.”

“That’s my Gummy! He deserves a raise!” Pinkie said as she gives Gummy a pillow to sit on. “There you go! Now I raised you a few inches higher. Enjoy!” The cutaway ends.

So after we ate, we went over to see Photo Finish at her tent. She was packing up things in her trailer so we can hit the road. “Ah, my star pupils! You have arrived!”

“Hey guys!” Crystal said.

“Nopony said you can talk, now PACK!” Photo Finish demanded. Crystal sighs and continues to pack for Photo Finish.

“Thank ya for this wonderful opportunity, Photo Finish.” Aqua said.

“The pleasure is all mine Misser Armor.” Photo Finish said.

“So are we gonna do?” Engie asked.

“Well we’re starting off with some shoots in Canterlot, followed by Baltimare, Fillydelphia, Manehatten, and Las Pegasus.” Photo Finish said.

“So no Mareami then?” I asked.

“Not yet, but we will.” Photo Finish said.

“I am in NO hurry.” I said.

“What’s wrong, Flare? Afraid of your old bullies?” Psyche teased.

“Hey did you know Baltimare has the nearest Walmart from here?” I asked him.

“Now then, I hope you all tied up some lose ends here.” Photo Finish said.

“Spitfire said this is an awesome opportunity for me. I mean all the Wonderbolts do is show off, so frankly, I’m just doing my job.” Blaze said.

“Who’s Frankly?” Engie asked. “Oh, and also ah have nothin’ planned anytime soon, so ah’m free.”

“Pinkie Pie is looking over my shop until Lyra and Bonnie come back.” I said.

“Ah, getting lowlives to look after your lowlife job, huh Misser Gun? Like your style.” Photo Finish smiled and said.

“Hey they are NOT lowlives! They’re proud hardworking workers.” I said. “Wait was that right?”

“They’re lowlives in my book.” Photo Finish said.

“Excuse me, if you’re going to call my friends ‘lowlives’, maybe I won’t do this modelling thing. I won’t work with somepony who puts down my friends, unless that particular friend is Psyche.” I said.

“Am I the Meg Griffin in the group or something?” Psyche asked.

“I apologize, Misser Gun, but you signed a contract.”

“Yeah I know how contracts are. I create them each time I make a new friend.” Photo Finish said.

“Let my lawyers explain.” Photo Finish said as she clops her hooves together and her lawyers show up with my contract.

“You are to work with Photo Finish until the expiration date. If you violate the contract, you will get sued for everything you have.” One of Photo Finish’s lawyers explained.

“Uh huh, uh huh…. I see. Alright, I get it.” I nodded as I read the contract.

“I’m glad you understand.” The lawyer said.

“Let me show you a little thing that Rainbow Dash taught me.” I said as I just place the contract into a shredder with nothing but a grin on my face.

“You know the best thing about us lawyers, is that we make lots and lots of copies.” Photo Finish’s lawyer said with a folder full of our contracts.

“Isn’t that a waste of trees?” I asked.

“Not if it keeps you on board.” Photo Finish’s lawyer said. I must admit, that lawyer is good. I got nothing, so Photo Finish got away with putting down my friends. I may not like it, but it’s in the agreement. Can’t argue with the agreement.

“I brought work with me so I can work on my free time.” Psyche said with a stack full of research papers.

Photo Finish clops her hooves together and said, “Crystal?”

“What?” Crystal asked.

“Oh… that’s right, you’re new. YOU, destroy his research papers.” Photo Finish demanded.

“What?” Crystal asked.

“What’s wrong with the research papers?” Psyche asked.

“Research papers, take time away from modelling, will not accept. MISS ICEBLAST! Destroy these papers.” Photo Finish demanded. Crystal just sneaks inside Photo Finish’s trailer so it would look like she was packing her things because we knew she didn’t want to do it.

“It would be much easier if I can just leave them.” Psyche said.

“YOU!” Photo Finish points to one of her assistants. “Destroy these papers!” Her assistant grabs the stack of papers from Psyche’s hooves and dumps them in a well.

“That’s littering.” Engie said.

“Wow… I can’t believe she just did that.” Psyche complained.

“I was wrong, she can’t pick on you either. It’s only funny if we do it. Other ponies doing it is an insult to me.” I said.

“I’m glad you feel that way, Flare. I’m touched.” Psyche said sarcastically.

“Good thing I learned something about Photo Finish’s lawyers.” I whispered to Psyche as I take out another stack of Psyche’s research papers from my satchel.

“Wow, thank you, Flare.” Psyche said happily. Just then, Photo Finish’s assistant takes the copies of the research papers and throws them in the well too.

“AW C’MON!” I yelled. “I do something nice and this is the thanks I get?!”

“Don’t worry, Flare. You tried.” Psyche said.

“I dunno why we’re just sittin’ here arugin’, when we could be taking snapshots right about now.” Engie said.

“Yeah, dudes. Are we gonna be models or what?” Blaze asked.

“Yeah, you’re right, Blaze. Photo Finish may be a jerk to us, but we’re still gonna be famous and that’s the bottom line. Doesn’t matter what her opinions are.” I said.

“Umm, I’m right here still.” Photo Finish said.

“And the contract says ‘all of her opinions are facts’, so whatever she says goes.” Photo Finish’s lawyer points out.

“That’s what my friend Keith usually does.” I said.

“Now come, we have things to do at places.” Photo Finish said.

And so, we all began to travel around Equestria to become famous models. The snapshots kept on coming. Engineer, Blaze, Psyche, Aqua and I were on posters, magazine covers, commercials, and even on stallion fashion shows. This story is brought to you in part by, Parasprite lemon-lime soda. It will destroy your thirst! Sorry, it was my contract to advertise in my story. As for Crystal, she was just doing Photo Finish's chores and being her delivery mare, and such. Crystal wasn't enjoying it. If you want to know more in detail of what types of modeling we did, allow me to explain. First off we Aqua, who was on a science magazine article known as ‘The Secrets of the Mirror Pool, and How It’s Not Safe to Drink’, and he made another article on a fashion magazine article known as ‘Are Armors In Trend This Season?’ and it showed many different ponies wearing replicas of Aqua’s armor; next there was a news article with the name ‘Aqua sues Macy’s for selling illegal replicas of Aqua’s armor’, since, you know, it’s a family heirloom of his. Next, Aqua was on different types of posters, mostly representing Aqua and his armor, that’s how it became so famous. Aqua was also on a commercial about Swiffer Metal Scrubbers and how it can polish armor better than the leading brand metal scrubber, and he was on another commercial alongside Engie in a D&D type world, where Engie uses his different machinery against Aqua’s army of Aquatic Armored knights, Aquatic Armored tanks, Aquatic Armored armor, and who can forget the ‘So long, mate!’ which is a type of tsunami that has nothing to do with armor what-so-ever, but it is quite aquatic. Nopony bothers using that attack because of its lack of aquatic armor.

Now we go to Engie. The types of magazines articles he is featured in includes a Best Buy magazine offering sales on freshly built level 3 dispensers, and there was a same exact ad for Circuit City, except it was selling level 3 teleporters. Yes, Circuit City still exists in Equestria, and so does Kids ‘R Us. Still no Blockbuster though, sorry. Engie was also on a poster of a new movie coming out soon known as Botzilla and a random pony in the poster yells out, “RUN! IT’S BOTZILLA!” And of course, I already told you the commercial Engie was on with Aqua. Engie was also on another commercial advertising electric toothbrushes made by a company Minuette buys her supplies from. Engie was also on Hottest Stallions magazine, on the cover, laying on his stomach on one of his dispensers with his legs in the air.

“Y’know, for kids!” Nostalgia Critic said.

Which brings us to Blaze. The most snapshots he has is Wonderbolt posters him posing and flying and there was even one with him upside down. Blaze also advertises Powerade, saying he would never be that fast and ferrous without it. Powerade made me a big fat liar! He could so pull those moves without it! Powerade can just help him boost is all. How dare they? Also Blaze was on a magazine cover with an article titled ‘This Wonderbolt is Married to an Element of Harmony? Yeah, right.’ I guess they don’t believe him with that sarcastic ‘yeah, right’. I’m getting better at my sarcasm, aren’t I?

Alrighy then, next we have Psyche. Psyche got himself a science magazine article on ‘The History of the Big Double-Dipper’, you remember, the one from chapter 23? The next article Psyche has is an article on some modeling magazine with the title ‘Psyche – she is so adorable’. Now I have to agree, Psyche is very cute for a stallion. The next article is a news article saying ‘Psyche sues some modeling magazine for calling him a she’. As a matter of fact, Psyche was the one in our group that has the most magazine articles. There was so much of him that I don’t even remember all his other 13 articles, so I’m going to skip to me.

Now most of my magazine articles were cooking articles obviously, but that’s not all, I got a couple of posters of me doing my magic tricks. The poster I have with me using my laser blast spell is in Engie’s Botzilla poster, and the spell with me using my hornsaber is a Star Trek one. Me fighting Patrick Stewart. I know, wrong Star series, but blame them, not me; and finally there was one with me doing my bubble shield spell in some suntanning article saying that bubble shields make your skin red, but what they don’t realize is that I was born red. I mean, my mom used to lay out in the sun all the time before I was born, so as I was inside her, that’s when my skin turned red, so yeah, I was red when I was born. Alright, I think I mentioned enough articles for the time being.

A couple of weeks went by and the five of us were super-stars. Back at our hotel room in Las Pegasus, Psyche was talking on his phone non-stop, Engineer kept stuffing his face in the snack bar, Aqua's been posting all his pictures on his blog, and Blaze and I were playing a wrestling game on the Wii. Photo Finish comes inside our room, along with Crystal, who looks very tired out and upset, and she says to us, "Noble Five, we're all getting very rich by the minute! You dears are all super-stars!”

"I'm proud of you guys!" Crystal said excitedly to us.

"Who cares what you think?" Photo Finish said rudely to Crystal. "Now go clean Photo Finish’s toilet! Eating those burritos for breakfast wasn't a good idea." Crystal groaned, and trotted away.

"This is pretty cool, Photo Finish. We're stars now." Aqua said. "We got everything we need… I suppose. I guess we made a good choice joining your modeling agency.”

“You… don’t sound very excited.” Engie pointed out.

“I’m not the excitin’ type.” Aqua said.

"Yes, Miser Armor, but.... there are changes that need to be made." Photo Finish said.

"What kind of changes?" Engie asked.

"Your looks." Photo Finish asked.

"Yeah, don't we look hot?" I asked while posing. "POSE! POSE! POSE! Yabba dabba doo! Also, B-T-W, the way I said the word ‘hot’, I spell it like H-A-W-T. That’s how dat Mareami hawtness should spell.”

"Your looks, they're old. Time for a change." Photo Finish said.

"But we look fine the way we are." Blaze said.

"This isn't me, okay? It's your fans, they're getting tired of the old mane styles, and outfits." Photo Finish said.

"But we keep changing our outfits for every snapshot we take." Psyche informed her. "I kinda liked being the model for J-C-Bits magazine. I really looked good in that tux!"

"You did, and I agree!" Photo Finish said. "But it's time for a new look!" Photo Finish clopped her hooves and her assistants came in. "Give these ponies some pizzazz!" And so they did.

“You know, you can’t say pizzazz without ‘pizza’.” I pointed out.

“Hey nothing to worry about. Maybe these new looks will do us good.” Aqua said.

“I wasn’t worried.” I said. “If you were listening, I said-“

“I heard what ya said.” Aqua interrupts.

“You didn’t let me finish.” I said.

“Oh, careful with the shirt. Ah had it dry cleanin’ a little while ago.” Engie said to the assistants that were making him over.

Photo Finish's assistants changed our mane styles, outfits, and even tails. The six of us (even Crystal) was concerned about the way we look. “Oh snap!” Crystal said shockingly.

"Um.... why do I have a poufy mane?" Blaze asked while looking in the mirror. Blaze's mane became poufy, and he was wearing blue short-shorts and a white tank-top. Psyche was wearing a green sweater, blue jeans, and a pony-tail mane with a pink bow. Aqua was wearing a green dress, and his mane was longer. Engineer had a red shirt, sunglasses, and big poofy black basket-ball type hair. As for me, I had a punk-style mane, and I was wearing a punk rock star outfit.
"Uhh.... how did ah grow a mane?" Engie asked.

"GAH! Green!" Psyche yelled. "Green really isn't my color! Literary!"

"Why am I wearing a dress?" Aqua asked. "This is so embarrassing!"

“Not as embarrassing as this!” Blaze yelled.

"Look, I like rock-n-roll as much as the next fella, but a punk mane, punk bracelets, and black t-shirt with a skull really ain't really Flare's thang." I said.

"You look fabulous!" Photo Finish said.

"No we don't! We look terrible!" Aqua yelled.

"Get this sweater off me before I melt down!" Psyche demanded.

"You're all in a contract. You must wear what I tell you to wear, when I tell you to wear." Photo Finish said. “I will not lose my best clients again because of stubbornness. Not like Fluttershy!”

“Mama Fluttershy was a model too? She never told me that!” I complained.

“That’s not important.” Photo Finish said.

"What's gonna happen if we don't listen?" Engie asked.

"Then you'll be sued for everything you have." Photo Finish said. "I'll be in my dressing room if you need me. I GO!” She walks out with her assistants.

"Mates, I'm so embarrassed right now.” Aqua said.

"Hey, it's not here where you should be embarrassed. We're alone in here. It's out there in front of all those ponies we should be afraid of." Blaze said.

"Partners, ah'm really startin to think that being famous got into our heads." Engie said.

"Yeah I agree." Blaze said.

"Aw c'mon brahs, we got everything we want!" I said. "A chocolate fountain, video games, fancy hotel rooms, even those cute little towel animals in the hotel rooms! We've been traveling all around Equestria, and making loads of money just by posing. It's such an easy job, and I got a call from Pinkie. She said customers have been poring in since Photo Finish started advertising my business! Happy face! Praise the Wizards of Hope, Strength, and Feelings, brahs!"

"Yeah, you got a point there." Blaze said. "I'm sure Dashie is proud of me right now, but I haven't seen her since her trip. She has been calling me though, but only while Photo Finish isn’t around.”

"Well.... we already signed a contract. We got no choice." Psyche said. "So let's go out there and show our stuff!"

"Ew, no!" I complained.

"No! Not that stuff! Show who the best models in Equestria are!" Psyche said.

"That's better." I said. "And speaking of Dashie. I think I know why Photo Finish looks so familiar; Photo Finish is actually Rainbow Dash."

"No she's not." Blaze said.

"Uh, yeah she is." I corrected him "She has the same color as her, Blaze, and that mane is obviously gray hair-dye. It's Rainbow Dash!"

"That doesn't make any sense, Flare." Aqua said.

"Ah agree." Engie said. "She's obviously Twilight Sparkle. Ah saw her cutie mark, and it was the same as what Twilight has."

"She's not Twilight, and she's not Rainbow Dash. She's just Photo Finish." Psyche said.

"Yeah, she's just Photo Finish, but she's also just Twilight." Engie said.

"She doesn't even have a horn!" Psyche yelled. "And she doesn't have wings either."

"You don't know that.” I explained. "She always keeps that outfit on. We don't know if she's an earth pony, or a pegasus. It's Rainbow Dash!"

Crystal opens the door, and peeks inside. "Uh guys? Can I talk to you?" she asked.

“DON’T LOOK AT US!” I yelled.

“I already seen you.” Crystal corrected me. “And may I say you all look worse than all the Doctor Who characters without eyebrows.

A cutaway shows a picture of all the Doctor Who characters without eyebrows. “Matt Smith and Catherine Tate look the same.” I said in the background. The cutaway ends.

“Come in, Crystal! It’s always nice seeing a friendly face.” Blaze said.

"Guys, I can't take this anymore." she said. "All I'm doing is being Photo Finish's slave! I've been cleaning her toilets, filing her hooves, organizing her dresses, cleaning them, and doing all the dirty work! I think I'm gonna quit."

“I’m doing fine, Crystal. How are you?” Blaze asked sarcastically.

"What? No you can't quit, Crystal.” Aqua said.

"Try me!" Crystal yelled.

"But the Noble Six stay together, right?" Aqua asked.

“I don’t really care.” Crystal said.

“Alright, I got nothin’.” Aqua said.

“You're not going anywhere, Crystal. We need ya!” Engie said.

'I'm not going anywhere..... but home." Crystal said.

"I thought you'd be happy face that you're working with a modeling agent?" I asked.

"Well I'm not." Crystal said. "I'm sorry guys. I just can't take this. You guys are happy, but I'm not." Photo Finish bursts in through the door during our conversation.

"YOU!" she yelled at Crystal. "I told you to not bother my clients!"

"Oh she wasn't bothering us." Engie said.

"You simply can't do anything right. YOU, FIRED!" Photo Finish yelled at Crystal.

Crystal started to tear up and yell, "You can't fire me! BECAUSE I QUIT!"

“No, I can fire you because I just did.” Photo Finish said.

“Yeah she’s got a point there.” Engie said.

“Ok, Engie, that really isn’t helping.” Psyche said.

Crystal turned to her friends and said, "I hope you're happy as models, because I can't even do that! I'm destined to be alone! GOOD-BYE FOREVER YOU STUBBORN GREEDY......" but before Crystal can finish, she runs away crying.

"Crystal wait!" I cried out. “You forgot to try out these stuffed shrooms! They’re good!”

“This isn’t right. We have to go after her.” Aqua said.

"If you go after her, you'll break the contract, and you'll go broke.” Photo Finish said. "Just let her go. You have better things to do. Be on stage in five minutes." She walks away.

"Let her go? Not even that song will help out in this situation! That song always makes me cry.” I said.

"I agree." Blaze said.

"What are we gonna do?" Aqua asked.

"We have no choice. We just have to go on, and..... hope for the best." Psyche said.

"Even in the embarrassing outfits?" Engie asked.

"Even in the embarrassing outfits." Psyche nodded.

Crystal walks through the Los Pegasus streets alone with tears on her eyes. She looks at all the posters and advertisements around the town that her friends are featured in. She walks through Applewood getting very angry and sad that her friends are all famous models, but not her. She walks to the Airport, and flies back home to Ponyville and she didn’t look back.

After a couple hours went by, the Noble Five went back to our hotel room with red faces. "That was so embarrassing!" Aqua said.

"Ah'll never leave home again!” Engie said.

"I can't believe she made us do that!" Psyche said.

"I did agree on being a model, but..... not like this!" Blaze yelled. Blaze lays down on the floor, tearing up, holding his legs, and rocking back and forth, and he starts sucking his hoof like a baby.

“This just drew the line for me!” I said. “I need some cheering up. Let’s all watch a movie with THX.” I turned on the TV, and right after, I started screaming and holding my ears.

"Okay, that's it! I'm quitting!" Psyche yelled. "I can't take this!"

"But wait!" Blaze stopped him. "If we quit, she's gonna sue us for all we got!"

"It's a risk I'm going to have to take!" Psyche said. "I'd rather leave with the dignity I have left!"

"Ah don't want to lose all ah got though." Engie said. "We haveta think of something."

"Where's that contract?" Aqua asked.

"Right here." Blaze said as he gave him the contract. Aqua takes the contract and rips it up.

"There we go, problem solved!" Aqua said.

Photo Finish bursts in through the door and said, "Lawyers, copies, didchya forget?" she asked us as she trots out.

“Oh right, I forgot about that.” Aqua said.

"Dang it! Now what?" Engie yelled.

“I dunno! What are we gonna do! Are we going to stay and lose our dignities or are we going to leave and go broke? Kind of a hard choice to make if you ask me.” Blaze said.

“Oh if only Crystal were still here.” Engie shook his head and said.

“Crystal is so lucky. I’m glad she was declined of being a model. She doesn’t have to go through this.” Aqua said.

“Well I dunno if that’ll work.” I said as I read my contract.

“What? What won’t work?” Aqua asked.

“Well I was going to- nah, it’s stupid. I’m too clever to be stupid.” I said.

“C’mon, Flare, tell us!” Engie demanded.

“I don’t think I should-“

“TELL US!” Engie yelled in my face.

“ALRIGHT! Calm the hay down, brah!” I yelled at him. “I was actually thinking that…. Well….”

“Yes?” Blaze asked.

“I was actually thinking that…. what if we’re in no use to her anymore?” I asked.

“What do ya mean?” Aqua asked.

“I mean, the only reason we’re famous is because…. we’re doing the poses they want us to do. So, if we… you know… tried to not play the rules, like… I’m not saying break them, but show them that… we’re not modeling material.” I explained.

“C’mon Flare, make sense.” Blaze demanded.

“What if we were disgusting?” I asked.

“Beg yer pardon?” Engie asked.

“Like, we all look ‘hawt’ right now, but what if we weren’t? What if we looked like slobs? Photo Finish would have no choice but to fire us.” I explained. “She can’t sue us for firing us. She’d only sue us if we quit.” My friends all nod in agreement. “Yeah, I was afraid you’d all agree; that plan was stupid.”

“No, Flare, actually… that’s probably one of the smartest things you’ve ever suggested.” Blaze said.

“Oh what do you know what smart is?” I asked him.

“I graduated high school.” Blaze said.

“Yeah who didn’t? You’re the only one that didn’t go to college.” I said and then snorted.

“Crystal didn’t say she went to college.” Blaze pointed out.

“She doesn’t count. She never said.” I corrected him. Blaze sighs.

"Well, this is going to be risky, but it might work.” Psyche said.

“Of course it’ll work. All stories end well. I mean there might be a plot twist, but it’s pretty obvious that it’s going to end our way.” I said.

“FLARE! Don’t spoil it!” Engie yelled.

“What? It’s obvious!” I said.

Back in Ponyville, Rarity was decorating a dress with gems on it over at her Boutique that night. "Oh how delightful!" she said. "And yet, nopony to share it with."

"What about me? I'm here!" Spike said.

"When did you get here?" Rarity asked.

"I've been here for 20 minutes." Spike said. “I needed some peace of mind after that little incident with Bulk Biceps.”

A cutaway shows Bulk Biceps tying Spike up to a chair in the dark and shinning a light on his head. “Now, let’s get down to business.” Bulk Biceps said as he takes a deep breath. “WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT MY MOMMA A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO, PUNK?!” The cutaway ends.

"Besides, you asked me to come over since Twilight was too busy with spells, Pinkie’s at Flare’s shop, Rainbow Dash is on vacation, Fluttershy's tending to sick animals, and AppleJack is taking care of a sick Apple Bloom.” Spike explained.

"Oh Spike, I just don't understand." Rarity complains.

“Here we go.” Spike complains as well.

"Nopony seems to have time for my outfits anymore. Oh if only there would be somepony who'd come through that door right now, begging for me to make them look their best!" Rarity said. Crystal then bursts through the door, crying. "Crystal, darling!" Crystal runs towards Rarity and hugs her. "Oh, dear. What's the matter?" she asked.

"I.... I....." Crystal stuttered, and continued crying.

Rarity hugged Crystal back and said, "It’s okay, it's okay. Your dear friend Rarity is here. Here, I'll make you a hot cup of tea." Just then, Crystal lays down on Rarity's bed with a box of tissues. She was starting to calm down. Rarity comes back upstairs with a cup of tea for her.

"Thank you, Rarity." Crystal said as she takes the tea and drinks it.

"Not a problem, darling." Rarity said. She sits down next to her and puts her arm around her. "Now tell me. What seems to be the matter? What brings you to my shop today?”

“Mainly because this story wanted me to.” Crystal said.

“C’mon, be serious.” Rarity requested.

"Well.... I dunno. I don't feel like talking about it." Crystal said.

"C'mon, darling. Please tell me! Maybe I could help. I mean, you came to me out of all other ponies for assistance. That has to mean something.” Rarity said.

“Or she came to me.” Spike assumed.

“No, I’m definitely here for Rarity.” Crystal said.

“Obviously.” Spike complains.

Crystal sniffled and blew her nose, and then she explained, "A modeling agent was in town. My friends and I auditioned for it.”

"That's wonderful dear!" Rarity said excitedly.

"Wonderful for them!" Crystal yelled angrily. "I was the only one not accepted!"

"NO! That's just awful!" Rarity said in shock.

"Yeah, and they seemed happy about their new lives.” Crystal added.

"Oh please!" Rarity said. "Don't worry about them. I can dress you up to be the perfect model! Then you can join!"

"Can you do that?" Crystal asked.

"Of course, darling!" Rarity said. "Even the ugliest ponies will become dashing after I'm through with them!"

"Is that supposed to be an insult?” Crystal asked.

“NO! I don’t mean you! It was a figure of speech, Crystal.” Rarity corrected her.

"You think Photo Finish would like me after you decorate me?" Crystal asked.

"Wait, Photo Finish is the modeling agent?" Rarity asked in shock and then she growls. "OH IT IS ON!"

"You okay, Rarity?" Crystal asked.

"Photo Finish! I'll show her! I'll make you the best-looking pony in all of Equestria, no charge!" Rarity cried out in anger.

"Thank you, Rarity!" Crystal said excitedly.

"Don't thank me yet. Thank me when Photo Finish goes down!" Rarity said. Just then, the bell downstairs starts dinging.

“YEAH!” a voice from down below yelled.

“Oh crud!” Spike said as he quickly crouches under Rarity’s bed and hdies.

“What’s wrong, Spikey-poo?” Rarity asked.

“Tell him I’m not here.” Spike whispers to her.

The next day came, and back at the set, Photo Finish was awaiting for our arrival, but of course, she has something to complain about. “UGH! What is taking my stars so long? We have things to do at this place! I swear, if these ponies quit on me, I’m going to be more ferrous than my first break-up.”

A cutaway shows Sealed Scroll on his computer, trying to think of a break-up letter for Photo Finish. His friend Neon Lights shows up and asks him, “What’s the matter, bro?”

“UGH! This break-up letter to Photo Finish is so hard to write. I just keep thinking about how miserable she’ll be!” Sealed Scroll complained.

“Hmmmm….” Neon Lights thought. “What if you try using comic sans? It’s the funniest font in the whole world!”

Sealed Scroll started to laugh. “Yes, that’s perfect! She’ll be laughing too hard to cry!”

“Break-up letter? More like crack-up letter!” Neon Lights laughed along. The cutaway ends.

“Here we are.” I said in a blob-like voice.

“Ah, my stars are he- OH MY…” Photo Finish cried out as she sees us all looking like fat and ugly slobs with big hairy uni-brows. YES! Each of us had more than one hairy uni-brow; one on top of the other.

“UGH! Who are you?! Where are Photo Finish’s models?!” she freaked out.

“We are her models!” Blaze said excitedly.

“Ew… umm… actually…. Yes! This is perfect!” Photo Finish said excitedly. “I can see it now. A completely new type of fashion! The Fat Ugly Slobbish Models!”

“Ah take offense to that.” Engie said.

“Now then, Miser… Illusion. You’re the less ugly one in the bunch. YOU, first!” Photo Finish instructed him.

“Ok then.” Psyche said as he walks over to the display of a potato farm.

“Now then.” Photo Finish started. “We’re shooting an advertisement for- AAAAH!” she screamed as water spilled all over her. “MISER ARMOR!”

“Ya said ‘shoot’, didn’t ya?” Aqua asked. “So I did.”

“MY GOWN!” Photo Finish yelled.

“Sorry ‘bout that… I guess, maybe, I dunno.” Aqua shrugged.

"Not a problem." she said. "I'm not the one taking the picture. It's you." Photo Finish turned to her assistants and yelled, "BLOW DRYER!” her assistants show up with an industrial-sized hair-dryer to dry her all up. After they finish and her hair gets all poufy, she instructed Psyche, “Now, Miser Psyche give me your best pose!”

Psyche stood on his front hooves and starts balancing. "Like this?" he asked.

"No, not like that." Photo Finish said.

Psyche then stood on his back hooves and pointed to the camera with both hooves. "Like this?" he asked.

"NO! This is a potato chip commercial. Now give me a good pose without the bag of chips first." Photo Finish explained. "Now give me a good pose!" Psyche did a bunch of different poses, but none was what Photo Finish was looking for.
"NO, NO, NO!" she cried out.

"Hey, the contract says as long as we do it; it doesn't say when we have to do it." I explained. "It's no fun not teasing you."

"But if you want, you can release us from our contract, and we don't have to have the fun you don't want us to do anymore." Blaze said.

"No! I need you!" Photo Finish yelled. She sighed. “Ok just give him the potato chips. Maybe that’ll help.” But the potato chips never came. “Hello? POTATO CHIPS! NOW!”

She looked over and she saw Blaze gobbling all the potato chips in the bag. Blaze’s crunching slows down when he sees Photo Finish looking at him. After he swallows the remaining chips in his mouth, he said, “Umm… were you going to eat that?”

Photo Finish begins to growl, but she doesn’t explode; instead, she takes a deep breath "Fine. Miser Engineer?"

"Erecting a dispenser." Engie said while building a dispenser.

"What is that?" Photo Finish asked.

"Ah need a dispenser while getting taking a picture." Engie said.

"You didn't need it before." Photo Finish pointed out.

"Yeah, but ah need it now." Engie said. "The doctor said so. As long as the doctor says so, the contract can't effect this. The contract says, as long as it's doctor's permission, I can have it."

Photo Finish sighed once again but it didn’t look like she could hold it in any longer. "Miser Gun?" she called out my name, but all I did was jump in with my accordion and started singing a slow rhythm type song.

“OOOOOOH! This is a story of a pony named Photo Finish. She looks a lot like squash and spinach, also she is a disguise... of Rainboooooow Daaaaaaash.” I sang.

“What?” Photo Finish asked.

I just continued to sing, “OOOOOOOOOOH! Dashie through the snow, in a one-pony sonic rainboom, for the skies we go, faster than a jetpack raccoon… Rainbow Dash, Rainbow Dash, Rainbow Dashing away. Oh what fun it is to be friends with Rainbow Dash today, HEY!” And then I preformed a shave and a haircut conclusion to that song.

Photo Finish just had an expressionless look on her face, and then she said, “Well, now that you’re done singing, I’d like you to-“

“I’d be the toast of the breakfast plate too-and-throw, I’m the type of phoney, every phoney, every phoney would know. I’d be the one to invent the XBUCKS but none would know, I’m the type of phoney, every phoney, every phoney would knooooooo-whoa-whoa-whooooooooooooa!” I sang. And just to let you know, this song I just sang is an actual song I made on my YouTube. I’ll post the link in the author notes (if this is FIMFiction); if this is another website I’m posting this story on, I’ll figure out a different place.

“UGH!” Photo Finish groaned. “Will any of you do… SOMETHING?!”

“Yeah, yeah give us a few minutes. I found more bags of potato chips.” Blaze said with another bag of clips as he gives them a nibble. “Oh this one is Sour Cream and Onion! I bet it’ll give me bad breath!”

“Oh can I have some?” Psyche asked.

“Aren’t you lactose intolerant?” Blaze asked.

“I don’t care! They taste good!” Psyche said with a crazy grin as he takes a hoof-full of Sour Cream and Onion chips and eats them, and then he burps in Photo Finish’s face.

“I… Photo Finish have believed to make another terrible mistake.” Photo Finish said. “I believe this shoot has come to an end.” Just then, Aqua squirts her with his water spells again.

“Quit saying ‘shoot’. Ya’re givin’ me the wrong idea.” Aqua teased.

“Buildin’ a sentry.” Engie said as he builds himself a sentry gun. Just then, the gun aims towards Photo Finish and shoots her with chocolate syrup.

“I never thought being a model would be so much fun!” Blaze said excitedly.

“Ah know! This is amazin’! We get to do whatever our heart desires as long as we get the job done and never quit. It says so in the contract.” Engie said. “Ah mean, it would be a shame if we all got FIRED or somethin’.”

“I have made my decision.” Photo Finish said.

Meanwhile, Crystal and Rarity arrive back at Los Pegasus. They take a limo to the building where Photo Finish and we are. Rarity gets out first. "Oh Crystal darling? We're here!" Rarity said to her. Crystal steps out of the limo wearing a very beautiful sparkly sapphire dress with a long skirt, a diamond-buckle belt, and lots of peacock feathers on her back. She was also wearing purple sparkly lip-stick and dark blue high-liner, and her mane-style extended and changed to make it look longer and wavier. Many of the ponies on the streets were staring at her in shock.

"Rarity, ponies are starting to look at me weirdly. I don’t like it.” Crystal whispered to her. She then takes out her wallet and gives it to Spike. “Here, hold this.”

“But Crystal, they’re only staring at you because you look so adorable! My work of art coming to life.” Rarity said.

“Everypony really thinks I look good?” Crystal asked.

“Of course they do! They’d probably want to kidnap you. I for one would fine that to be a compliment.” Rarity said as she pushes her mane out and begins walking.

“I don’t get her sometimes.” Crystal said.

“Neither do I.” Spike said.

“Hey, by the way, why did you come?” Crystal asked.

“Can’t deal with Bulk Biceps right now.” Spike said.

“Oh my, I do love Los Pegasus. It is such a divine town.” Rarity said as she looked around. “My cousin Elusive lives here. He’s the manager of the best night club in town: The Jam. He’s a very charming fellow, but over-sensitive. He just lost another coltfriend recently.”

“Sorry to hear that.” Crystal said. “So where are we going anyway?”

“We are going to crash Photo Finish’s shoot with your friends.” Rarity said.

“And how do you purpose we do that?” Crystal asked.

“By showing off your divine looks. That’ll show her!” Rarity said. So the three of them walked over to the building Photo Finish is in, but before they were able to do so, Photo Finish herself kicks the door right open and stomps right out.

“Photo Finish?” Crystal asked.

“If you’re looking for your job back, you’re wasting your time.” Photo Finish said.

“Photo Finish wait!” I yelled out. “You only saw Aqua’s spells, but you didn’t see my awesome possum spells yet. This is my laser blast.” I said as I fired a blast out of my horn and it shot off a piece of her hair.

“It would seem that the others beat us to the crashing party, huh?” Spike asked.

“I cannot take them anymore! Their contracts have been relieved.” Photo Finish said.

“You mean you fired them?” Crystal asked.

“No… I quit!” Photo Finish said. “Every time I meet a new model, they always seem to make things miserable for me, but you know what? I, Photo Finish, will not be taking it anymore. My modelling photographer career is over.”

“Oh… that’s too bad, Photo Finish.” Rarity said.

“Hmm…” Photo Finish observes Crystal. “Perhaps I misjudged you, Miss Iceblast. You indeed look like a type of pony that has da magics.”

“So… you’re giving me another chance? You want me to become your model now?” Crystal asked.

“Indeed I am.” Photo Finish said.

“Snap no! You had your chance!” Crystal complained to her.

“Hmm… well then… I believe it is time to change my career a bit. Perhaps instead of finding the right models, I’ll just allow the models to come to me. Yes, that is indeed a stupendous choice for a new career! They will come to me.” Photo Finish said.

“Ok then. I’m glad you found a new leaf.” Crystal nodded.

“Thank you, Miss Iceblast. You and your friends have really opened my eyes to that. I must not become desperate in finding the next line of supermodels. The right ones will come, and if not, I try again until they do come. Now then… I GO!” Photo Finish yelled out as she runs off with her assistants.

“Well then, that was certainly unexpecting.” Spike said.

“It was too bad, I was really enjoying messing with her that I almost didn’t want to be relieved from my contract.” I said.

“I’m normally not the ‘messing around’ type, but I must admit, it was pretty fun.” Aqua nodded.

“Oh hey, Rarity, Crystal, Spike. What’s up?” I asked.

“I am quite impressed. I never seen Photo Finish meltdown like that.” Rarity said.

“But what happened? I thought you all wanted to have the time of your lives?” Crystal asked.

“We did, but Photo Finish kept telling us to change our looks into something the opposite of us, and it was just too much to handle.” I explained.

“Yeah, we wanted to leave with our dignities in-tact, but we didn’t want to lose everything we own by violating the contract, so we needed to find a loophole.” Blaze added.

“Ok, if nopony is going to ask, maybe I can. Why are the five of you so fat and ugly right now?” Spike asked.

“Oh these? Oh they’re just inflatable fat suits.” I said as the five of us unzipped our ‘fat’ and took it all off. “We dressed like fat slobs in order for Photo Finish to fire us. Oh, and these uni-brows are fake too.” I suddenly rip off all my uni-brows, but then Engie started screaming.

“It turns out one of those uni-brows were real.” Engie said.

“Well that’s a relief.” Rarity nodded.

“Hey, why are ya dressed like that though, Crystal?” Engie asked.

“Oh this? Rarity dressed me up. She wanted us to crash this photo shoot, but it looked like you all had it under control.” Crystal said.

“It’s too bad. I really wanted Crystal’s new dress to make a big impression, but I suppose it was a waste.” Rarity said.

“Um, excuse me?” a pony walks out of the building called out. “Yeah hi, I’m the producer of this potato chip company and may I say, Miss, you look astonishing this fine evening.” The pony observes Crystal.

“I have a coltfriend already, and I don’t have a wallet with me.” Crystal said.

“Oh no, please pardon me.” The producer said. “But I just think that is a fabulous new look you have there. I want to ask you if you want to model for my next advertisement.”

“Me? You want me to model for you?” Crystal asked.

“I mean if you don’t, that is ok by me. I mean the last group that was here kind of… wrecked it.” The producer explained.

“Oh, he doesn’t even recognize us without our fat suits.” I whispered to Psyche.

“Also Rarity seems to forget that we ditched her a couple of weeks ago to go with Photo Finish.” Psyche whispered back.

“No I didn’t.” Rarity whispered.

“So what do you say? I’ll pay you a lot of money for this.” The producer offered.

“Well… I did say no to Photo Finish.” Crystal nodded. “But then again, I can’t judge somepony I never met, so as long as I don’t scrub your toilets or file your hooves, I’ll be fine with it.”

“Oh don’t worry about my toilet, I would never another pony to do something like that, although my hooves do need to get filed.” The producer said as he observes his hooves.

“Here, just use this.” I said to Crystal as I brought out a filing cabinet from inside the building. “Don’t worry, this is the type of filing cabinet I am NOT allergic to, so if you need help, I can help.” And so, Crystal accepted the job and she got a few shoots of her with a bag of potato chips, or more like a bag of air, because all potato chip companies seem to sell more air then clips, well, all companies except for Pringles, and also, our lesson has been learned. Don’t underestimate agents, they have ways to tricking you. Always read the fine-print, and if you’re not satisfied, just walk away, they’re the ones missing out on the opportunity to have you with them. The other moral of this story was, as said by Photo Finish, your clients will come to you eventually, don’t beg or they will not come, or they may rip you off with an unfair deal; show ‘em who’s boss! I know those morals didn’t seem too obvious, but they’re there. They are most definitely there. Now to wrap up this chapter, I have one last scene for you.

The next morning, back at home. Blaze was just about to head out the door to start a new day and return back to his old career. "Alright honey, I'm off! I'll see you tonight!"

"Bye, Blaze!" Rainbow Dash said. Blaze flies out the door and into the sky, with Rainbow Dash watching him. She looked around suspiciously, and then closed the door and all the blinds. She goes to her dressing room, combs her mane, and dyes it gray, same for her tail. Then she replaces her cutie mark with a cutie mark that looks similar to Twilight's, and then she put on a funky dress and glasses to make her look like Photo Finish. "Now to make das magics! Time to do that thing at the place!" Rainbow Dash said, dressed like Photo Finish.

In conclusion to this chapter, I have one final thing to mention:

Crystal’s credit card bill went off the charts. She reads her receipt and she mostly saw rubies, sapphires, emeralds, and even a bean-bag chair listed on it. What could it mean?

Author's Note

The replacement to the "Roll Models of Five" chapter. I changed the name because.... what does Roll Models of Five even mean? So I just said "On a Role". The story didn't change but alot of content did. I made it a bit longer, I took out "Picture Perfect Pony" song since that's a song made by the fandom and it didn't feel right using it, so I took it out, and also Crystal has a better ending. Also, the way the Noble Five was annoying Photo Finish in the end has changed because they seemed to be more annoying than funny and a little too OOC, so I made sure they were a little more IC while they tried to make Photo Finish fire them.

Also here's the link of the song that I mentioned in the story. It's a parody of Becoming Popular: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xxU9iXGH6kc

From Birthdays to Pageants

Look out, brahs! This is a Cutie Mark Crusader chapter over here! Just giving you a heads-up! Now we start off our story at Flare’s Pizza Parlor, and no we’re not starting off with watching TV because it’s not 3:00; it’s actually 1:20, so it’s quite crowded at this time, but over my busyness, Crystal had no trouble bothering me.

“And so I met this chick over at the library, she kept shushing me after I was speaking too loud. How rude was that?” Crystal complained to me.

“Uh huh.” I said as I was not really listening, just continuing cooking.

“She threatened to kick me out. I swear some ponies don’t know the meaning of ‘freedom of speech’.” Crystal said.

“If you say so.” I said.

“That wasn’t all though. There was nopony else in that library, so I didn’t know why the librarian was shushing me. She kept saying she needed to study some magic that Princess Celestia gave her.” Crystal said.

“Ok.” I said.

“So after I ruined her concentration for the last time, she used her magic to levitate me out of the library, sooo… yeah, rude.” Crystal said. Just then, the Cutie Mark Crusaders suddenly burst through the front door, carrying a bunch of fliers of some sort.

“Come to Scootaloo’s birthday party! Sugarcube Corner, tomorrow!” Apple Bloom said as she gave some invitations to some of the customers in my shop.

“Come to Scootaloo’s birthday party! We have cookies.” Sweetie Belle said as she did the same thing.

Also, Darth Vader was in the shop too carrying fliers, but once he overheard Sweetie Belle’s bragging about cookies. He got upset. “Way to steal our motto.” He complained as he threw his fliers in the trash and angrily walked out.

“Flare, Crystal!” Scootaloo said excitedly as she gave us some fliers. “Would you come to my birthday party tomorrow at Sugarcube Corner?”

“Scootaloo, you know I’m busy on Thursdays.” Crystal reminded her.

“No I don’t. What do you do?” Scoots asked.

“I sit at home all day and do nothing.” Crystal said.

“Well luckily, tomorrow is Friday, so you won’t have to worry about that.” Scoots said.

“Oh… so then I shouldn’t even be here.” Crystal said.

“Wow, you have a birthday party tomorrow, huh, Scoots?” I asked.

“It’s going to be so awesome! There’s going to be games, and food, and Rainbow Dash is even going to be there and perform a sonic rainboom for me!” Scoots explained.

“Wow! There’s going to be food?! Count me in, Scoots!” I said excitedly.

“Yeah me too! The last birthday party I went to was Psyche’s.” Crystal said.

A cutaway shows Pinkie and Crystal rolling a birthday cake out for Psyche. “Happy birthday, Psyche!” Pinkie said.

“Wow, Pinkie! Did you make this yourself?” Psyche asked as he observes the giant strawberry cake.

“Nope. Crystal helped me out!” Pinkie said.

“You’re going to be very surprised about what’s inside.” Crystal said.

“Shhh.” Pinkie shushed her.

“Awesome!” Psyche said.

Just then, a big fat slob of a pony pops out of the cake and grumpily says, “Happy birthday.” Everypony except Pinkie and Crystal was surprised but a little bit confused too. The slob looks over at the cake and says, “Oh hey, a cake.” He takes the cake and runs off.

“Say what now?” Psyche asked.

“SURPRISE!” Pinkie and Crystal yelled out. The cutaway ends.

“So what do you want for your birthday anyway?” I asked Scoots.

“Oh anything is fine, as long as it’s not socks.” Scoots said.

“But socks are so comfee.” I said as I show Scoots my thigh-high light blue socks.

“Give me something AWESOME! Something that everypony would say ‘awesome’ when they take a good look at it!” Scoots requested.

“Oh I know just what to get you!” Crystal said.

“Don’t ruin the surprise, Crystal! Show me tomorrow!” Scoots said.

“Got it!” Crystal agreed.

“Is there anything pacific that you want?” I asked….. no I am not explaining the ‘pacific’ thing again. I already explained it twice. Go back and read the story again.

“Well… I dunno. Anything awesome is fine. I don’t really care.” Scoots said.

“How would I know if you’d fine it awesome or not? What if I gave you a package of staples? Some ponies would find that awesome, but not all, but still some. Would you find it awesome?” I asked.

“Just give me something cool.” Scoots said.

“That still doesn’t answer my question.” I said.

Scoots sighs. “Ok, I’m thinking of something awesome, something flying, and something that defies gravity.”

“I’m guessing you want a pet that can fly.” Crystal assumed.

“Perhaps.” Scoots said. “But maybe it’s something that I’m in complete control of. I’m thinking of something fast, something…”

“Ferrous.” I said.

“Yeah, but that wasn’t really the word I was going to say next.” Scoots said.

“I know, but right after you said the word ‘fast’, I immediately thought of the word ‘ferrous’.” I said.

“I think you get the idea. Party starts at noon tomorrow at Sugarcube Corner. It would be really cool to see you both there.” Scoots said.

“I won’t let you down, Scoots. I’ll find you that possum grade awesome present you want, you’ll see!” I said.

“I can hardly wait!” Scoots said excitedly as she jumps up and hovers a bit for a few seconds and then touches back down. “See you tomorrow!” she runs off with her friends.

“So what are you going to get her, Flare?” Crystal asked.

“I-D-K.” I said. “I haven’t really thought of it yet. I’ve been so busy around here that I forgot tomorrow was Scootaloo’s birthday. I have to find her that awesome present she wants.”

“Well good luck with that! I already know what to get her. I’ll see you Scootaloo’s party.” Crystal said as she runs off.

“See ya, Crystal!” I said. “Hey, Bonnie, Lyra? Can you two do me a favor?”

“We have the shop covered, don’t worry.” Lyra said.

“You’re so smart, sista! I’ll be back just as soon as I find Scootaloo that birthday present she wants.” I said as I run off.

“To be honest, I sometimes like when he’s not here.” Bonnie admitted. “We get to do whatever we want when there are no customers.”

“Nah, we still need to follow the rules.” Lyra said.

“Who’s going to stop us?” Bonnie asked.

“This may be a test. Maybe he leaves all the time just to spy on us and see if we’re doing our jobs.” Lyra whispered to her.

“I doubt it.” Bonnie said.

“Why else do you think he leaves without locking his office?” Lyra asked.

“Because… he forgets?” Bonnie asked.

“YES BONNIE, YOU ARE RIGHT! WE SHOULD GET BACK TO WORK BECAUSE WE LOVE OUR JOBS SO MUCH!” Lyra yelled out. Bonnie sighs as they both return to work.

So I went outside to find Scootaloo a new gift, but what kind of gift would Scootaloo want? A video game? Nah, she’s not the gaming type. I read chapter 3 many times already, so I know. Does she want a new piece of awesome clothing? Nah, I’m afraid she’d look better than I, and I can’t have that. Just then, it hit me- WHOA! Dang, me the narrator says that, so why are objects just getting thrown at me in the story?! I’m not even talking out loud, I’m narrating this! Anyways, I saw a competition up ahead. Somepony looked like they were giving away a new scooter, and what more obvious gift to give Scootaloo than a brand new scooter?

“Step right up, everypony! Step right up!” the dealer cried out. “In just a few minutes, we’re going to be starting the contest to see who can place their hoof on this scooter the longest so they can take it home! Entry fee is only 5 bits! Come here while spots last, because ponies are already finding their spots!” I knew what I had to do. I have to win Scootaloo that scooter. That would be the perfect birthday present for her! It was already crowded over there, but I was able to squeeze myself in, and as it turns out, I wasn’t alone.

“Blaze? You wanna win this scooter too?” I asked him.

“It’s my birthday present to Scootaloo.” Blaze said.

“Say what now? No, no, no, this is MY birthday present to Scootaloo.” I corrected him.

“Then it appears we have reached an impasse.” Blaze said as he smirks at me.

“I believe so.” I said as I smirk back.

“Whoever leaves their hoof on here the longest we get to take it home.” Blaze said.

“Yeah, I got healthy hooves. I’ll be able to do this.” I said.

“I doubt it, man. I’m stronger than you.” Blaze said.

“What does strength have to do with this?” I asked.

“It has everythin’ to do with this.” Engie said.

“Engie? You want to give Scootaloo this scooter as well?” I asked.

“What? This old thing? Naw, she deserves better!” Engie said. “Ah was thinkin’ of upgradin’ it after ah win it. Make it a better model and upgrade it with thrusters and safety features. Things that will make this the best scooter Scootaloo has ever had.”

“Well we’ll see about that, Engie.” Blaze said mischievously to him.

“We will see.” Spike said.

“Spike? You too?” I asked.

“Yes, me too! I am going to win this scooter.” Spike said.

“For Scootaloo?” I asked.

“No, I already got Scootaloo something. I got her two tickets to a Wonderbolts show. I was thinking of bringing Rainbow Dash, but then I thought, I’m going nowhere with Rarity.” Spike said.

“So why are you getting this scooter?” Blaze asked.

“Since you three want it so much, I was going to win it and keep it for myself.” Spike said.

“That sounds stubborn.” Engie said.

“She has a fully-functional scooter already, so I want one too.” Spike said. “I mean, this here is the SX-300. It’s one of the fastest, most acrobatic and most stable scooters in Equestria.”

“Scoots would really want something like this.” I said.

“Alright everypony! Welcome to the SX-300 Hot Pocket scooter competition!” the dealer announced as his shirt pockets ignited, and then he spits on his shirt to take out the fire. “Who wants to win a scooter?!” Everypony in the crowd cheered. “Alright everypony! Hooves on the scooter! Whoever can hold it the longest will get to take it home! If you release your hoof, you are out! Let the holding begin!”

And so everypony placed their hooves (and Spike has right claw) on the scooter and the contest began. “DEELEEGH! ALRIGHT YOU KIDDIES! Let’s do this!” Blaze yelled in a deep voice.

“Don’t worry, brahs, we can win this! We can work together and win.” I said.

“Yeah, you’re right, Flare.” Spike nodded.

“Let’s shake on it.” I offered as I stuck out my other hoof, wanting a hoof shake from Spike, and Spike shakes my hoof with his right claw.

The buzzard goes off and the announcer yelled, “Sorry, dragon! You’re out!”

“What? No! I was just shaking his hoof!” Spike complained.

“Sorry, buddy. You are out!” the announcer said.

“Yeah, buddy, you are out!” Caramel said rudely to Spike as he clopped his hooves together. “Out you are, HA HA!”

The buzzard goes off again and the announcer yelled out to Caramel, “You are out!”

“Dang it!” Caramel whispered to himself as he walked away.

“So it’s just us, huh? Who wants to hear me sing some of the music of today?” Engie asked. Just then, Comet Tail and Amethyst Star release their hooves from the scooter and walk away as the buzzard sounds twice. “Ha ha! Works every time!” Engie said mischievously. Time went by, and after a couple of hours, there were no outs, until now that is. All there was left was me, Engie, Blaze, Cherry Berry, Medley, and Coco Crusoe.

“Pee-you! I haven’t had a shower in a week! I think I smell like a dumpster now!” Blaze said as a joke, but nopony left. “Wow you all are sick. You’re all very, very sick. I mean smell me! I smell like sewer water! Do you know what sewer water smells like? Have you ever been in a dirty bathroom? Well it’s a lot like that only 10x stinkier. Even stinkier than gas station bathrooms! Pee-you! Have you ever thought that’s possible? Try eating a gas station burrito off the gas station bathroom floor! How about eat a burrito in a gas station toilet!?” Cherry felt like she needed to barf so she ran off and the buzzard sounded. Blaze chuckled to himself.

“That is so disgusting, partner!” Engie complained.

“If you don’t like hearing it, let go of the scooter.” Blaze suggested.

“Wow, this really reminds me of the time Crystal, Spike, and I fought over one of Flare’s garlic rolls.” Engie said.

“That’s when I discovered Fluttershy wanted to be my mommy. I should really see her later. She’s so kind!” I said.

“Oh look over there!” Engie pointed. “There’s Fluttershy over there!”

“REALLY?!” I looked over but she wasn’t there.

“Ha ha! Mage’a look.” Engie teased.

“You’re a jerk, Engie. Also, you’re out.” I said.

“Wait, no ah’m-“ Engie looked down and he saw his hoof pointing to where I thought Fluttershy was but I guess karma saves the day. The buzzard sounds. “Aw c’mon!”

“Karma saves the day I guess.” I laughed.

“Ya actually believe in karma?” Engie asked.

“Yeah I believe in karma! I believe that karma is going to take care of things over at Mareami. It’s karma that brought me here in the first place, and it’s karma that’s going to give Scootaloo this amazing present and therefore, making me closer to being friends with everypony in town, just like Pinkie.” I explained.

“If you say so, man.” Blaze said.

“Yes I say so, ‘cause I’m smart!” I said. Time went by, hours and hours and hours, and hours turned into days, weeks, months, years, decades, centuries, and even 42 infinities went by, but then Coco and Medley got tired and decided to return home. “So it’s up to us, Blaze Goldheart! You ready?”

“Uhhh… I’ve been ready since the announcer said ‘go’.” Blaze reminded me.

“Yeah, sure, I find that to be pretty suspicious.” I said as I smirked at Blaze.

“What’s so suspicious about that?” Blaze asked.

“I dunno. I mean, you’re a draconian after all. Can it get freakier than that?” I asked.

“Hey! You know I hate it when ponies call me a freak!” Blaze yelled.

“Oh what you gonna do? Own me?” I asked as I say the word ‘own’ in a crazy accent. “If you let go of this scooter, you’re out, and I win.”

“Once this is over, you’re dead either way.” Blaze said.

“Yep, and you go to jail. Simple as that!” I said with a smile.

“Ugh!” Blaze groaned. Just then, I take out my phone with my hoof that’s not on the scooter and I send a picture to Blaze. Blaze’s phone starts vibrating.

“Hey Blaze, I sent you a funny.” I said.

“Really?” Blaze asked as he takes out his phone and reads it, and then the buzzard sounds. “GAAH!”

“And we have our winner!” the announcer said as he pointed to me.

“YES!” I cried out as I lifted my hooves in the air, but then my right hoof goes down. “I lost all feeling to this arm.”

“Not so fast!” Scootaloo said as she too was touching the scooter.

“Wait…. What?! How long have you been there?!” I yelled.

“Since the start of the competition.” Scoots said.

“How can we not see you?!” Blaze yelled.

“I’m small, and you two were looking at each other most of the time.” Scoots said. “Plus I know how to be quiet.”

“This was gonna be my birthday present for you!” I complained.

“Mine too!” Blaze yelled.

“It’s ok, guys. I really appreciate it.” Scoots said as she smiled at us.

“Oh… good.” Blaze said in relief.

“But now you two have to find me a new present!” Scoots said as she hops onto the scooter with her helmet on. “Because this my birthday to myself! Better luck next time!” Scootaloo then drives off with the scooter, leaving Blaze and I just standing there, shocked.

“Ok I DID NOT see that coming.” I said.

“Neither did I, bro. Neither did I.” Blaze said.

“Now I have to find a new present for Scootaloo! I sacrificed a lot of time for this!” I complained.

“I had to cancel my dentist appointment for this!” Blaze complained.

“Why are you complaining? Isn’t that good?” I asked.

“Oh… right, yeah it is.” Blaze said as he takes out his phone. “What is this picture you sent me anyway?”

“Oh it’s a picture of Keith’s butt.” I chuckled.

“Why do you have a picture of Keith’s butt on your phone?” Blaze asked.

“Hey, I don’t ask you how to live your life!” I yelled at him. Blaze sighs.

So I returned to my trailer, presentless, and still wondering what to get Scootaloo for her birthday. I went over to talk to my fish. Maybe they were able to help me. “Oh the crazy red guy who feeds us is here.” Yoyo said.

“Hey! Don’t be so rude, Yoyo!” Dorthey complained.

“Sorry. Oh yay! The crazy red guy that feeds us is here!” Yoyo said excitedly.

“Smooooooooth.” Dorthey said sarcastically.

“Hey fishies.” I said as I sat down on my office chair and rolled over to them.

“Hey pony!” Darrel said excitedly as he waved with his little fin. “Oh look at me! I’m doing what Dorthey does all the time!”

“What do you mean?” Piddles asked.

“My right fin is a little smaller than the average fin. It looks like I’m waving. Flare always thinks that.” Dorthey said.

“Makes you look like Nemo.” Rainbow teased.

“I dunno what to do, brahs. I mean, I found an awesome birthday present for Scootaloo, and I don’t even get to give her it.” I complained.

“Yeah, I know how that feels.” Pearl said.

“ONE TIME!” Rainbow yelled.

“One time what?” Yoyo asked.

“Oh c’mon, we all live in the same tank! How can you not know?” Rainbow reminded him.

“I mean, I wanna give Scootaloo the best birthday present ever, but I’m glad she’s happy with the present she got for herself. Myself never gives me anything for my birthday!” I complained.

“Oh well it stinks to be you. You deserve the present! How can you be so stubborn to you?” Darrel asked.

“Really, Darrel?” Rainbow asked.

“Yes. Really, Rainbow.” Darrel said. “HA! Really, Rainbow. That’s a silly combination.”

“C’mon, fishes, help a fella out! What can I give to Scoots for her birthday? I mean, I have no idea what I should give her!” I complained.

“I know what you can give me for my birthday. Get me a restraining order for that jerk over there!” Piddles points to his reflection. “STOP! JUST STOP REPEATING WHAT I DO- STOP IT! Is that fish a mime or something? Some strange magic? He’s so annoying!”

“Complaining about it won’t really help, Piddles.” Yoyo said.

“What are you pointing at Piddles?” I asked him.

“This jerk! Get him away!” Piddles yelled. I didn’t understand what he said, since he’s… you know… a fish. We don’t share the same vocal chords, so I assumed the direction he’s pointing is to my accordion that was hanging against the wall.

“Yes! YES! Piddles you are a genius!” I said excitedly.

“What did I do?” Piddles asked.

“I’ll play Scootaloo a song on my trusty accordion here!” I said as I pressed on some of the accordion keyboards to play a short melody. “Yes, this is perfect! I think I know just the song to sing her!”

“I don’t like the sound of that.” Rainbow said. “I’m more worried for Flare than a kid not tall enough to do something.”

A cutaway shows a kid walking up to sign that says, “You must be at least this tall to hit your head on this sign.”

“Awwww… I wish I was big.” The child complained. The cutaway ends.

Noon came the next day, so I went over to Sugarcube Corner to Scootaloo’s birthday party. Almost everypony I knew in Ponyville was there. I saw Fluttershy over there, and she looked like she was full of regret. “I’m sorry… I’m so sorry.” Fluttershy said sadly.

“Don’t worry, Fluttershy. I won’t tell.” Pinkie said as she comforted her.

“Wait, what are you two talking about?” I asked.

“Oh we’re just reenacting some comic full of feels.” Pinkie said.

“Is it the one where Fluttershy is actually Scoota-“ I asked but Fluttershy covered my mouth before I could finish.

“Shhhhh.” Fluttershy shushed me.

“Hey guys! What’s going on?” Scootaloo asked us.

“Oh… n-not much. I… I have to go do something.” Fluttershy said as she walked away.

“Check out this awesome present Aqua gave me!” Scootaloo said as she shows me a blue jacket of some sort. “This jacket feels so nice! It feels like I’m floating in the water or something, or flying in the rain.”

“HA! Flyin’ in the rain! Good one!” Engie laughed.

“Wow, Engie, even I wouldn’t be that harsh.” I said.

“I’m glad ya like it. Made it myself.” Aqua said to Scootaloo.

“It’s so awesome, Aqua. Thank you!” Scootaloo said as she gave Aqua a hug. Aqua felt a little bit awkward.

“Yeah… ya’re welcome, Scootaloo. Glad ya like it… umm… yeah.” Aqua said as Scoots continued to hug him. “Alright, I… I’m glad ya’re happy. Isn’t… isn’t there other presents ya want to open?”

“Right, right. Sorry.” Scootaloo said as she released Aqua from her grasp. I learned from that moment that Aqua’s not the hugging type, but for that matter, I first thought Scootaloo wasn’t the hugging type. “Where’s Rainbow Dash? I thought she would’ve been here by now.”

“I’m sure she’ll show up soon, but in the meantime, how about opening up my present?” Crystal suggested.

“Oh cool! This looks like such a big box! I bet whatever is inside is awesome!” Scoots said as she started opening up the box.

“You better believe it!” Crystal winked at her.

Right after Scootaloo opens the box, the box tilts over and Rainbow Dash drops out of it, gasping for breath. “Rainbow Dash?!” Scootaloo cried out in excitement.

“Surprise! Here’s that awesome gift you wanted!” Crystal said. “I know how much you love Rainbow Dash, so I decided to make her as your birthday present from me!”

“I couldn’t breathe in there! You never put in airholes in it!” Rainbow complained.

“Crystal, I…. this is the best gift I’ve ever had!” Rainbow cried out in excitement as she hugged Rainbow real tight.

“No, can’t breathe again!” Rainbow gasped out. Right after Scootaloo releases Rainbow, Rainbow passes out.

“Wow, I’m strong!” Scootaloo said. “I hope Rainbow Dash has enough energy for that sonic rainboom later!”

“Oh dear. I hope Rainbow Dash gets better soon.” Rarity said. “Just seeing her lie on the floor like that, it doesn’t suit the room.”

“Oh hey what’s that you’re carrying?” Scootaloo asked Rarity as she observes a gnome figurine she is carrying.

“Oh, this old thing? Oh this is my figurine that I won at the Foal and Filly Pageant 12 years ago. My mother and I competed in these pageants for many years, and… well… this is the only one we won.

“Is it because Granny Smith and ah beat ya all those years after that?” AppleJack asked as she smirked at Rarity.

“Hind-hoof archery! Who could beat that?!” Rarity yelled.

“It takes a true Apple to know how to use these babies.” AppleJack said as she bucked the air. “Of course neither of us were able to compete anymore after we turned 18.”

“Alas, it’s true. Only a filly and a mare can compete in this pageant, but then again, that pageant was… silly… I am lucky to have this figurine.” Rarity said.

“Yeah and we’re lucky to have 9!” AppleJack teased Rarity.

“So Scoots, are you ready for my birthday present for you?” I asked.

“Well since I tricked you out of the scooter, I didn’t think you’d be able to get me one on time.” Scoots said.

“Well I’d like to thank my albino catfish, Piddles, for helping me out with this idea.” I said as I took out my accordion.

“Oh you’re giving me an accordion? I… ok… I’ve been taught worse instruments… banjo for one.” Scoots said.

“Oh no, this is my accordion. I have a song to sing to you.” I said.

“Oh yeah? What are you going to sing?” Scootaloo asked.

“Allow to me to demonstrate.” I said as I started dancing around and playing my accordion and began to sing, “Happy birthday! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday! Happy birthday to you! Well, it’s time to celebrate your birthday, it happens every year – we’ll eat a lot of broccoli and drink a lota root beer! You should be good and happy that there’s something you can eat – a million ponies every day are starving in the street!”

“What?!” Scootaloo cried out.

“Your daddy’s in the gutter with the wretched and the poor. Your mama’s in the kitchen with a can of Cycle Four. There’s garbage in the water, there’s poison in the sky, I guess it won’t be long till we’re all gonna die! Happy birthday! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday! Happy birthday to you!”

“Bro, this is song is completely unnecessary.” Blaze said as I was singing my chorus.

“Where did you get this garbage anyway?” Psyche asked.

“Was that supposed to be a pun?” Blaze asked him.

“Well, what’s the matter little friend, you think this party is the pits?” I sang to a concerned Scootaloo. “Enjoy it while you can, we’ll soon be blow to bits!” an explosion sounds in the background. “The monkeys in the royal guard are gonna cook our goose – their hooves’ on the button, all they need is an excuse! It doesn’t take a military genius to see – we’ll all be fat and exhausted after World Party 3! There’s nowhere you can run to, nowhere you can hide – when they cook the big one, well all eat fried!” I stopped singing for a moment and then asked the kids at the party, “Come on boys and girls, sing along, ok?”

And so they did, despite my bad influence, “Happy birthday! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday! Happy birthday to you… WOW!” I then played an accordion solo as I started screaming and making disastrous sound effects with my mouth, and most of the kids, Pinkie, Engie, and Crystal started dancing, but everypony else felt a bit disturbed.

“How are they enjoying this?!” Psyche yelled.

“The world has become pretty weird these days, mate.” Aqua nodded. “Eeyup. The world has become pretty weird these days.

“Well there’s a punk in the alley and he’s lookin’ for a fight.” I continued. “There’s a hobo on the corner stealing everything in sight! There’s a mother in the ghetto with another mouth to feed – seems that everywhere you look today there are misery and greed! I guess you know the planet is gonna burn up like the sun, but that’s no reason why we shouldn’t have a little fun! So if you think it’s crazy, if there’s more than you can take – just blow out the candles and have a piece of cake- HEY!”

Everypony in the room decided to join along because as it turns out, I was just speaking a moral. “Happy birthday! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday! Happy birthday to you- WOW! Happy birthday! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday! Happy birthday to you!” Then everypony shouted “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” as Crystal was beating on the counter to create a little rhythm.

“AND A PINCH TO GROW AN INCH!” I shouted as I tripped on Scootaloo’s new scooter which made it activate and zoom across the room (oh little to me, I sound like Dr. Seuss). The scooter then was about to crash right into Rarity, but luckily Blaze shows up and pushes her out of the way before the scooter lands perfectly safe and unharmed.

“Wow that scooter really is accurate! Awesome!” Scootaloo said excitedly.

“Oh… snap.” Crystal said.

“I apologize deeply for that! Why was that scooter right in the middle of the floor like that?” I asked.

“It was leaned towards the wall, bro!” Blaze corrected me.

“Oh dear!” Rarity freaked out.

“It’s ok, Rarity. You’re alright. No need to thank me.” Blaze said.

“My gnome figurine! It’s… it’s ruined! Shattered into a million pieces!” Rarity started tearing up as she walked over to her shattered figurine.

“Rarity, I apologize deeply! I somewhat have the feeling that was my fault.” I said.

“Uhh, you think?” Psyche asked sarcastically.

“Psyche, shut up. Being a jerk won’t help.” I advised him.

“Ah’m sure AppleJack will give ya her’s, Rarity. Ah mean, she has 9. She won’t miss one.” Apple Bloom offered.

“Yeah ah agree.” AppleJack nodded.

“I don’t want YOUR figurines, AppleJack! I won this one fair and square, and now it’s ruined!” Rarity cried.

“Sheesh, Rarity. You’re such a drama queen! It’s only a figurine!” Sweetie Belle said.

“NO! You have no idea what it’s like to be so attached to something you earned and worked so hard for!” Rarity cried as she picked up the pieces of her shattered figurine with her magic and ran off.

“Well that was a little overdramatic.” Sweetie Belle said.

“Hey ah tried.” Apple Bloom said.

“Just as I thought this party was awesome, somepony had to cry and run off.” Scootaloo complained. Well, once again, I screwed things up, but at least not completely. At least I wasn’t the one that made Rainbow Dash suffocate in a box. I knew something had to be done. Once the party was over, I went over to the cider bar with the Noble Six.

“So I was doing some research on-“ Psyche started, but then Aqua interrupts.

“Pardon me, Psyche, but Engie, is that brown sugar on that table?” Aqua asked as he points to the booth next to us.

Engie looks and he said, “Yes it is, but ya know, here’s a thought; while white sugar comes in a number of different granulated sizes, white sugar is the most common of all sugars. When ya heat white sugar, it browns to almost a toffee-color and it has a similar flavor.” He explained.

“Umm, yeah, I was asking about the brown sugar.” Aqua corrected him.

“Yes ah was just about to get to that.” Engie continued. “Now brown sugar normally comes in different colors from light to dark brown. Brown sugar was originally white sugar before all the molasses was taken out. Often though, brown sugar is white sugar where the molasses has been added into the mix. If the sugar is darker, then it has more molasses on it.”

Aqua looks at Engie awkwardly and said, “No it’s ok, I can get it myself.” he gets up to get the sugar, but on the way he said to Engie, “By the way, I studied biology. I know how sugar works.”

“Anyways, as I was saying, I was doing a little research on Rarity’s prized figurine that broke…” Psyche continued by interrupted.

“Oh stop pointing hooves! I didn’t mean it!” I complained.

“I… I wasn’t blaming anypony.” Psyche said. “I was just saying-“

“I don’t wanna hear this anymore. It was an accident!” I complained.

“Ok whatever.” Psyche said. “Anyways, the figurine that Rarity had with her in the party, I was looking over the company that sponsors the Foal ‘n Filly Pageant, and it turns out, it’s sponsored by a small garden shop, goes by the name of Daisy, Rose, ‘n Lily Valley.”

“I knew it wasn’t a coincidence that we see those three together all the time.” Crystal said.

“Anyways, I went over to their shop today and I asked to speak to their manager, which, at the same time was their cashier and head gardener.” Psyche said.

“And which of three is that?” Blaze asked.

“I spoke with Daisy, but it turns out, all three of them owned the place, and they were all ‘head-gardener’, and manager and all that.” Psyche explained. “So I asked Daisy if we could buy one to replace the one Rarity lost, but she said it wasn’t for sale. In order to get one, a mare and a filly have to enter the next pageant that starts in two days.”

“That’s a good idea, brah! I should disguise myself as a filly, and you and I can go there and compete!” I said.

“What about me? Do I get a disguise?” Psyche asked.

“You already look like a mare so it doesn’t matter. Actually so does Blaze. You two should compete.” I suggested.

Blaze and Psyche looked at eachother, and then Blaze said, “Neither of us look like fillies though.”

“How about Rarity can go get the figurine herself?” Aqua suggested.

“She’s too old, no offense to her.” Engie said.

“No, I mean, her and Sweetie Belle can enter the pageant and win one, and I’m going to help them win!” I said.

“Good call, partner! Countin’ it was yer fault after all, so it’s only fair.” Engie said.

I gave him a glare. “Yeah… thanks. Engie sometimes you’re a jerk, like when ponies abuse your offerings.”

A cutaway shows a pony wearing a hat walking down the street towards a pony wearing a shoe on his head. “Hey buddy, why do you have a shoe on your head?” the hat pony asked.

“Because I can’t find my hat.” The shoe pony said.

“Well, it’s a good thing I have two!” the hat pony said as he takes off his hat, revealing the same exact hat underneath it. Just then, the shoe pony takes both hats and places it on his hooves.

“Thank you, sir!” the shoe pony said. The cutaway ends.

So I went over to the Cutie Mark Crusader treehouse so I can speak with them. You know… I said this was a Cutie Mark Crusader chapter, but only Scootaloo had a lot of dialogue, and my friends had more appearances than them, so I’m not sure why I called it a CMC chapter. Over at treehouse, before I went inside, the CMCs were playing with some of Scootaloo’s presents.

“I really like this jacket Aqua gave you, Scootaloo!” Sweetie Belle said as she rubs her jacket on her face.

“You like it a little too much. You used it more than I.” Scootaloo said as she snatches the jacket from her.

Just then, I started doing the Sheldon Cooper knock on the treehouse door. Knock, knock, knock; “Apple Bloom?” Knock, knock, knock; “Sweetie Belle?” Knock, knock, knock….. “Ummm… did I say Apple Bloom already?”

“Come in, Flare!” Apple Bloom called out, and so I came inside and took a seat.

“Thanks, girls! Good to see you!” I said.

“What brings ya here?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Well first off, let me ask, have you ever seen Bambi or Lion King?” I asked.

“I have.” Sweetie Belle raised her hoof and said.

“Ok I just wanted to make sure Apple Bloom didn’t.” I said.

“Why not?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Tragedy. I don’t wanna mention it. Anyways, mainly I’m here to talk to Sweetie Belle.” I said.

“What’s on your mind, Flare?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“A tumor, but that’s not part of this conversation.” I said. “Now in Scootaloo’s birthday party, I accidently started up Scootaloo’s new scooter and by doing so, broke Rarity’s prized figurine.”

“UGH! Did she set you up to this?!” Sweetie Belle complained.

“NO! This is all me. I feel bad that I caused Rarity’s gnome to shatter and I want to make it up to her.” I said.

“Why?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“Because it’s the right thing to do, plus it’s a gnome. IT’S A GNOME, SWEETIE BELLE! Gnomes are the coolest type of fairytale midgets!” I yelled.

“Fairytale little people.” Apple Bloom corrected me.

“Oh c’mon, Apple Bloom. There are no midgets here to get offended!” Scootaloo reminded her.

“Actually, I’m not really Apple Bloom.” Apple Bloom said in a high-pitched male voice. “I’m only covering for her on her bathroom break. I’m not really a filly either. I’m a little pony. So you just offended me, ma’am.”

Just then, the real Apple Bloom comes in. “Thanks for coverin’ for me, Charles.” Apple Bloom said to her duplicate.

“Yeah next time, read my contract carefully. I do NOT like it when ponies say… THAT WORD… in front of me.” Charles complained as he grumpily walked out.

“If he were one of the seven dwarves, he’d be Grumpy. LAWL!” I teased. Just then, an empty cider bottle gets thrown at me. “OW!”

“I HEARD THAT YOU DONKEY!” Charles yelled out in anger.

“I’LL SUE YOU FOR ASSAULT!” I yelled out at him. I then turned back to the crusaders and smiled, “So anyways, I want to help Rarity in getting her a new figurine by competing in this year’s Foal ‘n Filly pageant.”

“So why did you come to us?” Scootaloo asked.

“He wants me to compete with Rarity.” Sweetie Belle said.

“Wow… that’s pretty psychic of you, Sweets.” I nodded.

“I am not going to compete in a stupid pageant just so Rarity can have a new figurine all to herself!” Sweetie Belle yelled.

“I know it’s tough, but it’s the only one she ever won and AppleJack has… nine! Rarity is going to really feel jealous of her.” I said.

“No kidding! Every day I keep hearing Rarity complain about that stupid toy!” Sweetie Belle complained. She then mocks Rarity’s voice and said, “Oh, woe is me! Flare Gun ruined my figurine, my only figurine! Why not AppleJack’s! Why did I have to bring the figurine to Scootaloo’s party after I took it for polishing? This world is so cruel! Maybe I should just lay on my bed and die! Oh woo-hoo-hoooooo!”

“Wow… just… wow.” I said. “I mean I seen Rarity complain a lot, but I never see her get so overdramatic she’d threaten to kill herself.”

“Yeah Rarity’s pretty stubborn.” Sweetie Belle said.

“I know how it feels to have a stubborn sister.” I nodded. “One day, back at Mareami, my sister Water was playing dollhouse. I wanted to play along too. I mean don’t all sisters want their brothers to play with them? So Water agreed, since we were both lonely and had no friends, we mostly had each other. But Water wanted to be in charge of everything. She says she wants to be all the family members except the dog. DOG! Dog out all of her dolls! I mean, I don’t even like dogs! She wouldn’t even let me be the pet parakeet! I wanted to mock her so bad because of it!”

“Parrots mock, not parakeets.” Apple Bloom corrected me.

“Oh it doesn’t matter! It’s all imaginary. Maybe I could’ve been that that Scottish talking dog if I wanted to and I’d spend my night time hours as a dog who runs a protection racket for the 24-hour pharmacies.” I explained. “But no, it’s all Water’s imagination!”

“Wow.” Sweetie Belle said. “Is she your older sister or younger sister?”

“Older. It’s pretty sad since I’m smarter than her. She can’t always take care of herself. She needs me. I dunno why she decided to go out and tour all of Equestria all by herself.” I said.

“Wow… that’s… pretty sad.” Sweetie Belle said.

“I mean she does call me often. Not as often as my mom though, but still. I’m so worried about her. Back then she was the closest thing I had to a friend. Sigh… what am I gonna do?” I asked sadly.

“You know what, Flare? You persuaded me enough. I’ll do the pageant with Rarity and help her win that stupid figurine.” Sweetie Belle said.

“Oh… I wasn’t even trying to persuade you.” I said.

“TOO LATE! WE’RE GOING TO HELP RARITY! NOW LET’S GO!” Sweetie Belle yelled as she starts pushing me out, and she shuts the door behind her and we both started heading over to see Rarity.

“Hey Apple Bloom, aren’t you and AppleJack going to enter the contest too?” Scootaloo asked.

“Eeyup.” Apple Bloom said.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Scootaloo asked.

“Didn’t give me a chance to. They both rushed out.” Apple Bloom said.

“Boy, are they in for a big surprise.” Scootaloo said.

Over at Carousel Boutique, Rarity was making a dress, but at the same time grieving over the lost of her figure. Yeah, that’s right, she became fat. Ha, kidding! You think I’d pull the .MOV virus on her? As if! So Sweetie Belle and I came inside the boutique and surprised Rarity. “Whoa, Flare, Sweetie Belle! You surprised me!” Rarity said.

“Go on Flare, ask her!” Sweetie Belle demanded.

“Ok. Rarity, why are you making a black cloak?” I asked.

“What? I always make black cloaks when I’m depressed.” Rarity said.

“Why?” I asked.

“It’s a habit.” Rarity said.

“C’mon Flare, ask her the real question!” Sweetie Belle instructed me.

“You think she’s going to know how the world was created? How the universe was created? Those are theories that are never going to be answered!” I pointed out.

“Oh for the love of- Flare wants us to enter the next Foal ‘n Filly Pageant.” Sweetie Belle said.

“Oh right, I forgot about that.” I said.

“Well… that’s… I never thought you’d be interested Sweetie Belle.” Rarity said.

“Really?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“You always complain how pageants are ‘boring’ and ‘unnecessary’” Rarity said.

“No I said getting pregnant is boring and unnecessary. Why not adopt a child? Save the fuss.” Sweetie Belle corrected her.

“So you don’t mind competing for the pageant?” Rarity asked.

“No way, sis! I totally want to compete in the pageant!” Sweetie Belle said.

“Well… I guess we should sign up for it.” Rarity said.

“I guess we should.” Sweetie Belle agreed.

“But we’ll need practice.” Rarity said.

“A lot of practice.” Sweetie Belle added.

“Too right. Let’s go.” Rarity said as her and her sister walk out of her shop to go sign up for the pageant. I must say, that went a little easier than I expected. I have the feeling Rarity is going to win that figurine again yet. One way or another, my work here was done so I left for home for the night.

The next day came and I was on my way to work, when… well… I was stopped by Rarity. “Flare, darling! Good morning!”

“Morning, sista!” I said.

“I could never get used to your silly slangs, but I do think you are a dear friend.” Rarity said.

“Kind of an awkward way to start a conversation. What’s the catch here, Rare?” I asked.

“Well… Sweetie Belle and I… we were… we were hoping you were not too busy.” Rarity said. So Rarity invited me to her house and she made me some tea. We, along with Sweetie Belle, sat down in her lounge so they can speak with me.

“Hmm! This tea tastes good Rarity. Counting with your British accent, I wouldn’t be surprised.” I said.

“French accent actually.” Rarity corrected me.

“Didn’t I say that? I dunno, they all sound alike to me. I mean we have the fancy voices, the dorky voices, the angry voices, the other angry voices, the angry and drunk voices, the super crazy hoof sticking out type voices, the other fancy voices that sound south of the border, and the rest sound Russian.” I explained.

“Uh huh.” Rarity nodded not knowing a word I said. “Anyways we have a little… proposition for you.”

“I’m listening.” I said as I took another sip of the tea.

“As you can see, we just found out a little while ago that AppleJack is competing in the contest with Apple Bloom, and if they compete using the type of talents they have, we don’t stand a chance.” Rarity explained. “The Apples and their hind-hoof archery talents, it’s not easy to beat.”

“So where you getting at?” I asked.

“Rarity and I were doing some research to see if we can find another talent that can beat their archery.” Sweetie Belle said.

“You know what’s funny, Sweetie Belle? When I was your age, I didn’t know what the words ‘research’ and ‘archery’ meant.” I said.

“You were a pretty special kid, huh?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“Yeah kinda, but it’s all a thing in the past. At least I was nice, but the only downside was I was never interested in Pokemon. I kinda regretted that.” I said.

“So as we were researching some talents, I found a little something that our family has been good at for many generations.” Rarity said.

“I bet it’s something fashion related.” I assumed.

“Nope, but I must admit that was my first guess.” Sweetie Belle said. As it turned out, Rarity’s ancestors were good at…. Umm…. dang I’m a little nervous….. knife throwing. Rarity’s family was really good at it. I knew Rarity had really good eye-sight and aim, which is what made her a great tailor. I’d be pretty excited to see that if I wasn’t the one being the guinea pig. Rarity chained my hooves on each side of the wheel, and Sweetie Belle took out some knives.

“Kay kay, mind if I ask… why am I the guinea pig?” I asked.

“You’re pretty tall, dear. It’ll be perfect for our act.” Rarity said.

“Are you sure you want to do this? There are risks.” I said.

“What kind of risks?” Rarity asked.

“Well… not much… nothing lethal… except for maybe stab wounds on my legs or shoulders, maybe you’d get me in the eyes and I’d be blind, get me in the mouth and I’ll have a real bad time at the dentist, get me in the chest area, I’m very sensitive around the belly button area. Not to mention… I COULD DIE!” I explained.

“Flare, none of you may know it, but actually, I’ve been throwing objects without missing all my life. It’s what my mother and I did when we used to compete in the pageant. Until AppleJack’s archery got in the way and bested us.” Rarity explained.

“But you said AppleJack and Apple Bloom are competing in this pageant. Why do the same thing again when you have a great chance of being beaten again?” I asked.

“Have you seen Apple Bloom’s apple bucking?” Sweetie Belle snorted and chuckled. “She has no chance!”

I wouldn’t be so sure of that, because a cutaway shows me at Sweet Apple Acres, tied up to a target and AppleJack was about to shoot in my direction with a bow and arrow, using her hind-hooves. “Watch ‘n learn, Apple Bloom!” she said as she shoots the arrow at my direction but the arrow hits right underneath my arm.

“AAAH NO!” I cried out. I was never so scared in my life.

“Wow! This is amazin’, AppleJack!” Apple Bloom said excitedly.

“Sure has, younglin’! Been a special family talent for generations to come!” Granny Smith said. “And now for more generations to come!”

“Exactly! So why don’t you give it a shot, Apple Bloom?” AppleJack asked.

“Do I have a say in this?” I asked in a frightened tone.

“Ah’m sorry, sugarcube. Did ya say something? FIRE!” AppleJack yelled as Apple Bloom shot the arrow right at me but the arrow lands right between my legs.

“HOLY WIZARD OF FEELINGS! I ALMOST PEED!” I cried out.

“Ah feel bad for that arrow then.” Granny Smith teased and chuckled.

“YOU APPLES ARE SO HARSH! IF I HAD PANTS RIGHT NOW, I’D POOP IN THEM!” I yelled. The cutaway ends, although I wish that cutaway didn’t end because right now, Rarity is starting to throw knives at me.

“Hold still, dear.” Rarity instructed me.

“I think I need to use the lavatory first.” I said in a frightened tone. But I was too late; she already started throwing the knives at me. “AAH FLIPPY!” I yelled as she threw one knife at me. “VOLLEYBALLS!” I cried as another knife gets thrown at me. “NOT THE FACE!” I yelled during the third knife throw. “How about you don’t?” I asked calmly during the fourth throw. I must say, I’m pretty impressed, even though she cut the knives pretty close to my skin (no pun intended), and she even threw a knife right through my hair! “FUDGE!” I cried out.

“Sorry to scare you, dear.” Rarity said.

“Hey I’m the one who broke your figurine; I must help you get it back. It’s my friendship duty.” I said.

“And I am very proud of your improvement, Flare. By the looks of things now, you probably can be friends with pretty much anypony you want!” Rarity said as she threw another knife near my ear.

“AAAH! It wouldn’t hurt to tell me when you’re throwing them!” I suggested.

“Aww but that would ruin the fun.” Rarity said as she used her magic to remove all the knives from the wheel with her magic and set them aside. “Ok, Sweetie! You’re turn!”

“Umm…” Sweetie Belle thought.

“Something wrong, dear?” Rarity asked.

“I don’t know about this. I mean, I don’t have as good of eye sight as you. What makes you think I’ll be able to do this?” Sweetie Belle asked.

Every generation of our family was born with the gift, Sweetie Belle! You just have to feel it within you!” Rarity explained. “Here, how about this? I’ll give you some plastic knives to start off with.” Rarity uses her magic to give Sweetie Belle some fake knives. I wasn’t really afraid of these knives, since they can’t really hurt me, so I had a moment of peace. “But…” Rarity added as she turned my wheel upside down and now I was hanging upside down.

“Can’t catch a break can I?” I complained.

“Ready, Sweetie?” Rarity asked.

“No.” Sweetie Belle said.

“GO!” Rarity yelled. So Sweetie Belle started throwing the fake knives at me, but she was doing a poor job at it, because she was either not throwing hard enough, or she keeps hitting me. “C’mon Sweetie, you can do better that! You were born with the gift too! C’mon, Sweetie! PUSH IT!”

“Maybe she’s not born with the gift. Maybe it’ll be best to try something new.” I suggested.

“Perhaps he’s right.” Sweetie Belle agreed.

“Oh no he isn’t.” Rarity said as she used her magic to give Sweetie Belle the real knives. “Now… real knives, real pony, try not to miss.”

“I DON’T WANNA DO THIS ANYMORE!” I yelled. “I know I said I’d die for my friends, but this is ridiculous!”

“Don’t worry about him, dear. Just throw the knives at the target, and you’ll do fine! We’ll win the pageant for sure!” Rarity explained. Sweetie Belle just stood there nervously because I knew she didn’t want to hurt me, or maybe she was just too afraid to be like her sister and not really worry about how my life is at stake right now. “Why are you just sitting there looking at him?” Rarity asked her.

“It’s because I’m handsome, also I’m in danger, and I really don’t wanna pee right now, counting I’m upside down!” I said nervously.

“Go on, Sweetie Belle! Do it! I need that figurine!” Rarity demanded. “Go on, Sweetie Belle! Do it! GO! DO IT! DO IT NOW!” Sweetie Belle started to really stressed out of her sisters demands, so her anger got the best of her and she started throwing the knives at me, but fortunately for me, she missed me every time.

“GAAAAH!” I yelled during her throwing. “KA-BADDA! NUUUUUU! NOT IN THE NARDS!”

“Oh my goodness, Sweetie Belle!” Rarity said shockingly. “You ARE born with the gift!” Rarity started hugging her sister.

“I guess I am.” Sweetie Belle said.

“Yeah I don’t wanna ruin this touching moment, but I’m feeling really dizzy right now, all the blood is going into my head, and I am so glad I am the master of my own bladder!” I said. So they released me and I left. I actually ran out of there as fast as I could, and I went straight home. Didn’t even bother going into work that day since I was so scared! To make things worse though, they asked me to help them out tomorrow at the pageant… BUT WAIT… THERE’S MORE! Apple Bloom and AppleJack needed my help as well for their part in the pageant! I couldn’t just say no because Apple Bloom begged me to help. She says she’s really comfortable throwing arrows at me, she doesn’t really trust anypony else for that, and well… I’m not immune to puppy dog eyes on little ponies. Plus AppleJack said she’d pay me a lot of money for this, and I need that expansion of my shop paid off. Tomorrow’s gonna be a rough day for me.

Tomorrow finally came, and I was on my way to the pageant. I didn’t want to be there alone so my friends from the Noble Six, as well as Fluttershy came to support me, but at the same time support Rarity and AppleJack too, but seeing Fluttershy there in the audience made me feel a lot better. Now I never been to a beauty pageant before, and I gotta say, they put on quite a show! I even got to see a minor town celebrity!

“Fillies and gentlecolts! Welcome to the 46th annual Foal ‘n Filly Beauty Pageant!” the announcer announced. “Here’s your MC for this afternoon, you know him as a student who wants to get with a teacher, please stomp your hooves for WoodenToaster!” the announcer turned out to be her in the shadows and she started singing one of his best known songs: Beyond her Garden! I got to see her sing from back stage as I was getting ready for my parts in the show.

“Howdy Flare! Ya ready?” AppleJack asked me.

“Huh? Oh sure… yeah… that.” I stuttered.

“Flare, darling! You ready for our part?” Rarity asked.

“Wait you’re helpin’ her out?” AppleJack asked.

“’Her’ has a name.” Rarity reminded her.

“Whatever, it doesn’t matter. Ah just hope you’re ready.” AppleJack said.

“Also, I got you this jumpsuit to wear.” Rarity said as she gives me a purple and yellow-striped jumpsuit. “Yeah, purple’s not really my color. I’m not Psyche.”

“Doesn’t really matter, dear. I just don’t want to see your precious vest get all ruined.” Rarity said as she pinches my vest.

“HEY! No touchy the vest!” I instructed her.

After Rarity and AppleJack went back to their dressing room to get ready, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle saw the worried look on your face. “Flare, are ya alright?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Of course I am. Just… have post-mature caterpillars in my tummy.” I said.

“You really don’t want to do this, do you?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“To be honest… no I don’t, but I owe Rarity her figurine, and that’s what I’m going to do.” I said.

“No, Flare, you don’t.” Sweetie Belle said. “It’s very kind of you to risk your life to pay a debt, but if you really don’t feel like doing this, you don’t have to.”

“Yeah. Ah still don’t understand why ya offered to help us though.” Apple Bloom said. “Also… to be honest, ah don’t care for winnin’. Ah don’t care about beauty pageants. AppleJack’s only here to show off her stunts and advertise Sweet Apple Acres. Neither of us care ‘bout the way we look.”

“I do! I’d totally do this beauty pageant, but not when my friends are terrified for their lives.” Sweetie Belle said. She then faced me with a sad look and said, “Flare, go home. You paid enough debt for Rarity. We’ll take it from here.”

“Are you sure? I mean, without me, what are you going to do for your stunts?” I asked.

“We’ll find a way, but ah don’t want ya to feel terrified.” Apple Bloom said.

“You’re a good friend, Flare. Just remember that.” Sweetie Belle said. I’m not sure if she was actually saying that or just persuading me to go on, but one way or another, I really didn’t want to go on, but both Rarity and AppleJack promised me a lot of money. I’ll need that money for my expansion. I’m not really sure what I should do.

“I have to do this.” I said.

“No you don’t. You don’t want to, we know you don’t.” Sweetie Belle said.

“Please don’t do this, Flare.” Apple Bloom begged.

“But what about your stunts?” I asked. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle looked at each other and nodded.

“It seems Sweetie Belle and ah have come to an agreement.” Apple Bloom said. The two of them went off to see their sisters. I wasn’t sure what they were going to do, but I sure did enjoy the pageant and what talents they had in stock. Golden Harvest and Dinky showed off their cooking skills to everypony, Berry Pinch and Berry Punch showed off their skills on a unicycle, and even Trixie was in it with her niece doing magic tricks.

“And now, please put your hooves together for Rarity and Sweetie Belle in…. wait a minute.” WoodenToaster stopped. “I am terribly sorry folks, as it turns out Sweetie Belle and Rarity will not be participating in this pageant any longer, and neither is AppleJack and Apple Bloom, so it seems it is time for the judges to pick their favorites. Now hurry it up and let’s get this done, I don’t want the bears to find me.”

“Wait what? Rarity and AppleJack aren’t going to participate?” I asked.

“It’s true.” AppleJack said.

“Flare we’re sorry for making you become our target practice. I was just so desperate for the figurine; I didn’t bother seeing how afraid you were.” Rarity said.

“I wasn’t afraid.” I lied. “Fine, my narrator is such a tattle tale. I was afraid.”

“We know; that’s why we wanted to cancel it.” Rarity said.

“But what about the contest? What about your figurine?” I asked Rarity. “I did this so you can win a figurine. I broke it. I owe you one.”

“AppleJack will give me one of hers, not to worry.” Rarity said as she sticks out her hoof, wanting me to shake it. Same goes for AppleJack.

“We’ll be sure to tell Twilight about yer efforts.” AppleJack said. I must say, I expected there to be a bit more in this pageant, but it seems my friends and I all learned a lesson. I owe Princess Luna a letter about what I discovered.

“And the winner of this year’s Foal ‘n Filly pageant goes to…” WoodenToaster started as she read the flier the judges gave her. “Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo for their sonic rainboom!”

“Awesome!” Scootaloo and Rainbow Dash both cried out in excitement as they went up on stage to claim their figurine.

“I know I pretty much did most of the work, but it sure means a lot that you have my back, squirt!” Rainbow said to Scoots.

“It was amazing!” Scoots said in excitement.

“By the way, WoodenToaster, love your music! Except for the Rainbow Factory one. I never liked that story.” Rainbow Dash said to her.

“Well, gotta dash!” Scoots said as she jumps on her new scooter and rides out of the building, and right after, some bears came inside.

“WOODENTOASTER!” one of the bears yelled.

“Oh… crud.” WoodenToaster said in freight.

“YOU LAUGHED AT US, AND YOU WILL PAY!” the bear yelled out in anger.

“Let this be a lesson to you, folks. NEVER laugh at bears.” WoodenToaster said to the audience. Well, I hope you all liked this chapter! It was multiple stories in one. Special thanks to WoodenToaster for guest starring on my story! Her music is good! Go check her out on her YouTube channel! Also, AppleJack and Rarity gave me my payment for helping them out; not as much as they promised since I didn’t go through with the stunts, but enough. I didn’t have enough for my expansion yet, but I did have enough money to get those implants for my trailer that I promised in the first chapter! You’re welcome.

Author's Note

The new chapter 27, a replacement to the second Family Feud chapter. I needed to give a little more attention to Rarity, AppleJack, and the CMCs so I made this chapter about them. It was originally going to start off with Scootaloo and then to Sweetie Belle and Rarity at the end, but then I decided to bring in AppleJack and Apple Bloom. It's kind of a couple of stories in one. Plus this story guest starred WoodenToaster! Here's a link to her YouTube page: https://www.youtube.com/user/WoodenToaster

The So-Soest Night Ever

I hope you watched the Best Night Ever episode before reading this, wha… of course you did! It’s one of the oldest episodes ever! Anyways, this chapter takes place one year after that. The Mane Six are returning to the Grand Galloping Gala, and along them, bringing some guests with them. Can you guess who these guests are?

So the Mane Six were at Rarity's shop, getting dressed and putting on make-up for this year's Grand Galloping Gala. Rarity was running around her shop, looking for her earrings. "Where are they? Where are they?!" Rarity yelled in panic. She was looking for them all over. She messed up her room, throwing clothes everywhere, and even putting some on her cat Opal. AppleJack started trotting to Rarity's room.

"Howdy, Rarity! Have you seen...." AppleJack stopped as she saw what Rarity was doing. "Uh, what are ya doin Rarity?"

"I'm looking for my earrings!" she cried out. "I can't find them anywhere! Oh I am completely hopeless without my earrings! I feel so ugly!" Rarity fainted back on her bed, and started crying.

"Uhhh.... y’all can just use different earrings." AppleJack suggested in an awkward tone.

Rarity gasped and jumped in front of AppleJack. "Can you think of a type of gem besides sapphire that matches this dress?" Rarity shouted in excitement. "You think ruby would go well with...." Rarity started to excitedly look in the mirror, and put on her ruby earrings. Rarity smiled and said, "Fabulous! Thank you my dear AppleJack!"

"Uhh.... no problem?" AppleJack said awkwardly

Rarity started walking with AppleJack downstairs. "Come AppleJack. We must finish getting dressed for the Grand Galloping Gala tonight." she said.

"This is gonna be so awesome!" Rainbow Dash cried out in excitement.

"I agree! The Grand Galloping Gala is the most funnest party ever!" Pinkie cried out in excitement.

"Of course it’s going to be a disaster again though, like Celestia said." Fluttershy said.

"Don't talk like that Fluttershy! As long as we have fun, it’ll be excellent!" Pinkie said. "Hey Twilight, how we gonna get there this year?"

"I'm turning a pumpkin into a carriage of course, Pinkie." Twilight said. "It's pretty much going to be the same as last year, except we're sticking together, like what Spike said!"

"Yeah, hanging with the Wonderbolts was too much for me in a party like that. Besides, Blaze was helping me out in getting into the academy, so I can always hang with them there." Rainbow said.

"And those animals got me into a mental breakdown. I felt a little bit… not-myself." Flutters said.

"Sales weren't too darn-good last year. This is supposed to be a fun event, not workin’. Apple Bloom says ah have to relax once in a while, and that’s what ah’m gonna do.” AppleJack said.

"And don't get me started on Bluebood. Seeing him just ruined prince charmings for me. It’s like every single Disney movie lied to me.” Rarity said.

"What are you guys talking about? Last year was fun! It was the most fun I had in like.... EVER!" Pinkie yelled.

"Of course you'd like a party like that Pinkie." Rainbow said with a chuckle.

"You should totally invite Blaze!” Pinkie said.

"Oh, well… he wasn't invited." Rainbow said sadly.

"Oh Spikey-Wikeeeeeeey?" Rarity called out in a cute voice. "I have this perfect little tux for you that'll make you look like an angel!"

"Oh, Spike's not here yet." Twilight said.

"Where is he?" Rainbow asked.

"He had a few stuff to do back at the library. He'll be here soon." Twilight said.

Meanwhile with Spike back at the library, sitting around and playing video games while eating a whole bag of potato chips while doing so. “Who?” Owlowiscious hooted.

“I’m not falling for that again. I just learned that ‘who’ is all you say. What school did you go to anyway? Did they not teach you proper English?” Spike asked.

“Who?” Owlowiscious hooted.

“Don’t lie to me, Owlowiscious.” Spike said.

“Who?” Owlowiscious hooted.

“Pipe down over there, you stupid owl! I want to finish this level as soon as possible. We’re going to the gala soon.” Spike said as he continued playing.

Owlowiscious shakes his head. “I keep telling him he needs to get ready.” Owlowiscious said to himself. “But noooooo, he never seems to listen. He doesn’t even know that I went a University for my education!” Just then Spike burps up a scroll while he was in the middle of a game.

“No, no, NO!” Spike cried out as his player dies in the game. “Nooooooo! Darn it, Celestia! I was in the middle of a game!” Just then, Spike burps up a second scroll. “What are these scrolls for anyway?” Spike reads the first one, but not out loud, and his eyes start to grow. “Well I’ll be. The Noble Six really need to see this. Now, how about this other scroll?” Spike picks up the second scroll and reads that one out loud, “Dear Spike, Stop playing so much video games and get a life. It’s bad enough I have to get Luna off the console every night. Get ready for the gala and let’s get going. See you there! Princess Celestia. She’s a trippy one.”

Now meanwhile, over at my trailer, Engie and Blaze were versing eachother on my XBUCKS, Crystal and Psyche were both laying down on my bed sleeping, although Crystal was cuddling to Psyche, unaware of that; and Aqua and I were staring at my fish.

"How long have they been staring at us?" Pearl asked.

"2 and a half hours." Piddles said.

“Wow, just like the TV show. Except it’s hours, not men. Hey did you hear the show is airing it’s last season?” Yoyo asked.

“Thank goodness for that. Started really going downhill after Ashton Kutcher. Never replace main characters. That’s the moral here.” Piddles said.

"Aqua I'm bored." I said to him.

"Mate, ya won't get any argument from me. I mean, I like your fish, but is there anything better we can do?" Aqua asked.

"Blaze and Engie are using the XBUCKS, and Crystal and Psyche are...." I stopped and saw Crystal and Psyche cuddling while they're asleep in my bed. "Holy Wizard of- shhhh!"

"What happened?" Aqua asked as he sees Psyche and Crystal. “Oh. Ok.”

“I should totally take a pic of that!” I said as I took out my phone.

“Ya sure that’s a good idea, mate?” Aqua asked.

“I’m sorry what?” I asked as I just took the picture of them. “Sorry, Aqua, couldn’t hear you. You have to speak louder next time.”

“Ya heard me perfectly fine.” Aqua said.

“Sue me.” I said.

"NO!" Blaze yelled.

"HA HA!" Engie laughed.

"No way, dude! You totally cheated!" Blaze yelled.

"Ah won fair and square, partner." Engie said. "They don't call me Engineer fer nothin, ya know."

"Best 5 outta 8?" Blaze asked.

"Like the Jamanji numbers? Yer on!" Engie yelled. Just as the two of them continued playing, Spike opened the front door and rushed right in.

"FLARE! BLAZE! CRYSTAL!" he cried out. Psyche and Crystal woke up screaming, but still cuddling. Then they looked eachother and screamed again, and then finally letting go of eachother.

"Lawl, lawl, lawl!” I laughed.

"Dude! Tell me you didn't take a picture of us!" Psyche said in an angry tone.

"Kay, we didn't take a picture of you." I said as I chuckled.

“Aqua, did he take a picture of us?” Psyche asked. Aqua looked at me and I shook my head.

“How should I know if he did?” Aqua asked Psyche.

“Are you serious, Aqua?” Psyche asked.

“Look, if ya want your answer so badly, just take any poor excuse Flare gives ya.” Aqua said. I then looked Aqua with a concerned look on my face.

"I have a coltfriend you know, Psyche." Crystal said to him.

"Don't look at me.” Psyche said as him and Crystal jump out of my bed.

"What's up, Spike?" I asked.

"Take a look for yourself." Spike said as he gave me a scroll. Blaze and Engie walked in to listen.

"What's the good word?" Engie asked.

"Spike got a letter from somepony, and I think it’s for us.” Aqua said. “Go ahead, Flare; read it.”

“Ok then.” I began to read it. “Dear Spike, Stop playing so much video games and get a life. It’s bad-“

I get cut off as Spike takes the scroll and said embarrassingly, “Sorry, wrong one. Here’s the one for you.” He gives me another scroll.

I started reading the actual scroll. "Dear Noble Six, You have been chosen to save Equestria from the evil lobster that is plotting to destroy the kingdom, and we need your help to save us all! Especially from Flare, and his epicness! L-O-L!"

"Does it really say that, Flare?" Blaze asked.

"Of course it doesn't! He's making this up!" Psyche said.

"Flare? Is it true?" Blaze asked.

"Blaze, you must really crazy if you think you’ll get an honest answer from me in this circumstance.” I said.

"Read for real, Flare." Aqua instructed me.

"Sigh, fine." I sighed as I started reading what was truly on the scroll. "Dear Blaze Goldheart, Crystal Iceblast, Aquatic Armor, Red Engineer, Psyche Illusion, and Flare Gun….. Holy Wizard of Strength, why did they put my name last?"

"Just continue." Psyche instructed me.

"NYEH!” I stuck my tongue out at Psyche, and then I continued reading, "As you all can see, you all just won the lotto for 10 million...." Psyche grabs the scroll from me as soon as I began to joke again. “HEY! I was reading that!”

Psyche started reading the scroll out loud, "Dear Blaze Goldheart, Crystal Ice...."

"Can we skip to the message? We got that part done." Crystal said.

Psyche sighed and shook his head, and then he started reading again, "Princess Celestia cordinally invites you to this year’s Grand Galloping Gala, tonight at 6:30 PM.”

“She spelled ‘cordially’ wrong.” Engie points out.

“Hush, Engie! I’m reading!” Psyche complained to him, and then he continues, “Now to make things a little more interesting, I am giving away a large amount of bits to a pony couple who is the fairest, cutest, and always think about their date. I am recommending that the five of you take the Mane Six to the gala as dates for this special contest. See you at Canterlot! Sincerely, Princess Celestia.”

"Wow, we're invited to this year's Gala?" Aqua asked. “That is pretty interestin’.”

"The Grand Galloping Gala has some of the best contests!" Crystal said. "Whether its food eating contest, an arts and crafts contest, or something, I can totally win some awesome prizes, and win the championship title! I can take my coltfriend Black Thunder with me for the cutest couple contest. Thundy and I are so cute together.” Crystal shows us a picture of her and her coltfriend Black Thunder, whose eyes are closed in the picture. Black Thunder is a white pegasus with a yellow and black stripe mane, similar to Psyche’s, and he had a black thunder cloud as a flank tattoo.

"Ah can show off some of mah wicket machines, 'cause this year they're having a science fair.” Engie said.

"The Gala also has a magic talent contest. I wouldn’t personally mind winnin’ or not, but I think this might be a good way for me to show the ponies in the gala my magic talents. It’ll help me advance forward in my studies and I’ll be able to get my master’s degree.” Aqua explained.

"The Wonderbolts preform at the Gala every year.” Blaze said. "I should show the world some of my cool new moves, that mostly involves a glass of water. It’ll help my rank evolve.”

"I researched alot about space. I can research more, 'cause they have the best observatory at the castle. I also made myself a speech about my research. Many scientists are going to be there. This will really advance my career.” Psyche said.

"And I'm gonna spread the word of the Noble Six, spread the lulz, and have a nice long conversation with Luna!" I said. "It’s not very often that I get to see Luna. I really want to spend some time with her, but at the same time, spend some time with my date too for the couples contest.” I said.

"Why are we taking out the Mane Six though?” Aqua asked. “It doesn’t really seem right to date ponies that would make other’s judge us.”

“Relax, Aqua. Besides my relationship with Rainbow, I think this will only be a one time thing.” Blaze said. "I'm already bringing Rainbow Dash, obviously.”

"Dibs on AppleJack ah guess. Since we're both southwestern, and ah think AppleJack might learn a thing or two about mah technology." Engie said.

"Yeah, I'm taking Pinkie with me. She’ll really be entertaining.” Psyche said.

"Rarity! Called it!" Spike yelled.

"So all that leaves is Fluttershy and Twilight." Aqua said. "What do ya think Flare?"

"No." I said.

"I guess I'll take Twilight, since Fluttershy and ya are pretty close.” Aqua said.

"What do you mean no, man?" Blaze asked.

"I'm not going to the gala until I know Princess Luna is going! Capieesh?" I asked.

"Dude, this gala is a big deal!" Blaze said. "It's only once a year!"

"Yeah, but it's always Celestia this, Celestia that! I WANT LUNA!" I whined.

“What makes you think she won’t be there?” Engie asked.

“Luna was NEVER at the Grand Galloping Gala! Even after the year she came back, she didn’t go. Well I won’t stand by and see the one pony that helped me fit in around here get left out!” I swore. “I’m not going if she’s not going.

"But Flare!" Crystal begged.

"That is final!" I said. "Spike take a note!" Spike takes out a paper and a quill. "Dear Princess Celestia, Thank you for your offer, but I'm not going to the gala until I know that your sister Luna is going! I have nothing against you; it's just that Twilight said that Luna wasn't at last year's gala. It got me a tad bit angry face, and I really want your sister to be there. Capieesh? Kay thanks bye. Your faithful subject that runs the pizza parlor, Flare the Gun!" Spike rolls up the paper and breathes fire on it, so it gets sent to the princess.

"Do ya really think it's a big deal?" Aqua asked.

"YES IT'S A FLIPPIN BIG DEAL!" I yelled.

"Probably not as much of a big deal as a thief breaking into your home.” Crystal said.

A cutaway shows a thief breaking into Crystal’s house and stealing all her stuff. Crystal goes downstairs and turns on the light and sees the thief. “Hey.” She said.

“Uhh… hey.” The thief said.

“Whatcha doin’?” Crystal asked.

“Stealing your stuff. What are you doing?” the thief asked.

“Coming down here for a glass of warm milk to help me sleep.” Crystal said.

“Here.” The thief gives Crystal a glass of warm milk.

“Yeah, so could you keep it down, please?” Crystal asked. The thief doesn’t say anything and just continues to stuff Crystal’s stuff in his sack. “Not even a goodnight?” she complained. The cutaway ends; ooo, and just in time too, because Spike burps up a response from the princess.

"That sure was quick." Aqua said.

"Dear Flare Gun." Spike started reading the letter. "Of course I'll be inviting Luna to the Gala! Ever since you started saying positive stuff about her, she started getting more popular. She thanks you gratefully, and she'd be really upset if you didn't come. I hope the Pizza Parlor is doing well! Tell your fish I said hi! Your faithful princess, Celestia."

"How does she know I have fish? I never told her!” I complained.

“Are we not worth mentioning then?” Piddles asked from inside the fish tank.

“Of course we are! We’re a great influence on Flare’s life!” Darrel said.

"So are you happy that Luna is going?” Blaze asked me.

“Well, I’m not unhappy.” I said. “Although since Celestia went through all the trouble, it wouldn’t hurt.”

"It's settled then!" Crystal said. "TO RARITY'S!" Just then the Noble Six logo pops up from a spinning vortex as a superhero change scene music plays, although the scene doesn’t change; we’re still inside my trailer.

“Huh. We’re supposed to be there by now.” Crystal said.

“Why are we going to Rarity’s?” Psyche asked.

“Didn’t she say she made us outfits for the gala before we decided to go with Photo Finish and become models?” Crystal asked.

“Yeah listen to yourself, Crystal. Ya act like you were a part of it.” Engie laughed. “Oh ho ho, that’s rich!” Just then, the superhero change scene song and effect pops up but when the Noble Six logo fades away in the middle just as we appear in Carousel Boutique, Crystal takes the logo and whacks Engie with it.

“You sicken me, Engie.” Crystal said to him.

The Mane Six weren’t downstairs though where we are now, they’re upstairs, and they didn’t even know we were down there. The Mane Six were up there getting dressed in their original gala outfits. "Still fits like a charm!" Rainbow said.

"You think Flare would think I'm pretty?" Fluttershy asked.

"Of course he will darling!" Rarity said.

"What are my chances with him?" Fluttershy asked.

"Your odds are really good! He'll totally fall fer ya, Fluttershy!" AppleJack said.

Twilight sighs and grumbles. "Where's Spike?" she said to himself. Just then, Spike runs inside along with the Noble Six behind him.

"Here I am, Twilight! Sorry I'm late. We have great news!" Spike said excitedly.

"What's the news?" Twilight asked.

“I whacked Engie right after we changed scenes!” Crystal said excitedly.

"Also, we're going to to the gala!" Blaze said excitedly.

"Really?" Pinkie asked in excitement. "That's great! This is gonna be so fun! Just think about it! Maybe we might be able to wreck everything again!”

"You look great today Pinkie!" I said.

"Thanks Flare! I look great too! Oh wait… I just repeated what you said.” Pinkie giggled and said.

"Wh-what about me?" Fluttershy asked shyly.

“You want to repeat what I said? By all means! Do so!” I offered.

“I mean… umm… do you… do you think I’m pretty?” Flutters asked.

"Of course, Flutters! You're the prettiest in this room!" I said. Fluttershy started to blush and giggle.

“I like it when she giggles. Isn’t she the best second mom I ever had?” I whispered to Psyche.

"So Rarity, you still have those tuxedos for us back when Photo Finish made us models?" Blaze asked.

"Of course dear!" Rarity said. "Let's get you seven dressed up for the gala! I got the perfect tux for Spikey-Wikey!"

"Perfect? Nah, I wouldn't say that!” Spike blushed and said. “I bet you’d look beautiful in a tux too.”

“Silly Spike, I don’t wear tuxedos!” Rarity corrected him.

“It wouldn’t hurt to try.” Pinkie said.

“Ah, Pinkie has the right idea! Don’t knock it till you tried it! Ah remember when ah looked great when ah was a biker chick!” Engie said.

A cutaway shows Engie in a pink undershirt and blue short-shorts, and long wavy golden hair as it breezed through the highway as he rode behind a biker on a motorcycle. “Thanks to you, mah hair stays like this when we stop.” He said to the biker. The cutaway ends.

"The note also said we need dates for the gala." Aqua said. "Ya six would probably be the answer to our problems!"

"Well shoot Engie!" AppleJack said as she walked towards him with a cute look. "If y’all needed a date, ya should've asked."

"Is she ok?” Engie asked.

“She had a couple of drinks of cider before she came here. She says it helps her not think about business.” Rainbow said.
“Um, Rarity, will… umm… will you… be my date for the gala?” Spike asked shyly.

“Oh… umm…” Rarity thought to herself. It would be weird to see her take a kid to the gala, so Rarity need to think of something so she wouldn’t hurt the little guy’s feelings. “Well if you allow me to decorate you up a bit, I’ll be happy to go with you!”

“Alright! Sounds good! Maybe you should dress me up as Goku. I’d make a sweet Goku.” Spike suggested.

“Perhaps, dear. Perhaps.” Rarity said as she takes him to her dressing room.

“Can’t I just dress myself?” Spike asked.

“Don’t worry, dear. I won’t look.” Rarity said.

“No I don’t mind that, I just don’t want you dressing me, because sometimes you can pull too tight.” Spike said.

"Oh, Flare, Psyche! I should totally take either of you! You'd all make great choices!" Pinkie cried out in excitement. "Flare's super-dooper fun! Psyche is super-dooper nice! It's either one of you two!"

"I'll be taking Mama Fluttershy, Pinks. But thank you for your offer!" I said.

"YIPPIE!" Pinkie cried out in happiness. "It's okay Flare! Psyche and I are gonna have so much fun!"

Psyche chuckled and said, "Heh, yeah. Of course!"

"Y-you're gonna take..... me?" Fluttershy asked, blushing.

"Of course! You're my very special friend and Ponyville mom!" I said. Fluttershy's whole face turned read, and steam came out of her ears, but not in anger, in happyness. Then she fainted. “Oh sorry, did I make you angry? So angry that you passed out? I’ll just say Ponyville mom and leave it at that.”

"Who you taking Blaze?" Rainbow Dash asked with a cute look.

"I dunno." Blaze said as he shrugged. "Who do you think?"

"Yeah come here, big boy!" Rainbow Dash said as she pulled her husband towards her.

“No seriously, I have no idea.” He said.

Twilight trots over to Aqua with a cute look and she asked him, "Looks like you're the only available one, huh Aquatic Armor?"

Aqua started sweating, and his face turned red. "Uhh.... yeah. I guess so."

“Sorry am I bothering you?” Twilight asked.

“A little.” Aqua said.

“I never was on a date before. I’m only doing what my book tells me. It says I need to act cute. So what? Do I give you an anime face or something? Because I’m not 100% exactly sure how this works.” Twilight explained.

“Me neither. I was never on a date either. I think I need to give ya some flowers.” Aqua said.

“Right, that is true, but the question still remains… what kind of flowers?” Twilight asked.

“I really have no idea.” Aqua said.

“I think I’ll need to do a little more research. Do you have a heart box with chocolates inside?” Twilight asked.

“Well, I would give ya some chocolates, but I’m not sure what kind of chocolates you like; furthermore, I have no idea if ya’re allergic to nuts like I am.” Aqua said.

“Right.” Twilight agreed. “I think first dates are supposed to be-“

“We’re wasting valuable time right now and story space, so we should get going.” I said. So when we got outside after we (the Noble Six) dressed up in our outfits, we went ouside so we can catch a ride to the gala.

"So where's our ride?" Blaze asked.

"Noble Six, I'd like to show you an amazing spell that can turn a pumpkin into a carriage." Twilight said.

"RIP-OFF!" I shouted. "Cinderella did that already." Twilight's horn starts glowing, and then a random pumpkin turns into a carriage. "And of course, a couple of pony folk are going to help us get there." she said.

"How we all gonna fit in that?" Aqua asked.

"Oh, I'm sorry. There's only room for the six of us, and Spike will be up front." Twilight said. "We seriously did not know you guys were going until the last minute."

"It's okay, Twilight." Blaze said.

“So you want me to make you guys one as well?” Twilight asked.

“No thanks, we have a better solution.” Engie said as he walks up to an intercom. He presses a button on the intercom and says to it, “Hey, Scooter? This is Engie.”

“ENGIE, BOY!” Scooter cried out from the intercom. “What up?! Wanna Catch-a-Ride?!”

“Ya know it! We’re on our way to the Grand Gallopin’ Gala and we need a ride.” Engie said.

“Of course, man! Of course! Just pick something from our selections!” Scooter said from the intercom.

“Hey, guys!” Crystal said as she brought her coltfriend Black Thunder with her, and they were both all dressed up for the gala.

“You must be Black Thunder!” Blaze said.

“Yo, how’s it going?” Thunder asked.

“Wow, Blaze recognized you! He must be psychic.” Pinkie said to Thunder.

“Thundy here is a skateboarder! He likes to live life to the fullest! Isn’t that right, Thundy?” Crystal asked as she leaned on Thunder’s shoulder.

“You know it!” Thunder said. Just then, a random vehicle pops out of nowhere and lands right on top of Thunder. “OW! SKA-BOOSKY!”

“THUNDY!” Crystal panicked.

“I’m ok, girl. I’m ok.” Thunder said as he bumps his on the side mirror as he gets back up on his hooves.

“Sorry ‘bout that, partner. Ya know how Catch-a-Rides are.” Engie said.

“I don’t even know that is!” Thunder said as he rubbed his head. The carriage that appeared out of nowhere was a carriage the size of a limo and it was red with hot rod flames on it.

“Now that’s a cool carriage! I wanna ride it!” Rainbow said excitedly.

“Noble Six only.” Crystal said as she sticks out your tongue.

“You have no say in that, Crystal. You nearly suffocated me once.” Rainbow complained.

“Oh get over it!” Crystal said.

“So we ready to go?” Blaze asked. “Do we know how to get to the gala?”

“Just follow us. We need know the way.” Twilight said.

“So who’s gonna pull our carriage?” Aqua asked. Just then, we all went inside our carriages and began riding to the gala. Who was pulling our carriage? Thundy was! Mainly because Crystal wanted him to.

“What did I do in the past life to deserve this?” Thundy complained.

“You’re doing great, baby! Thanks for volunteering to pull our carriage!” Crystal said as she blew him a kiss from inside the carriage.

“Anything for you, babe!” Thundy smiled and said. Once Crystal put her head back in, he shook his head and sighed; “Oh the things I do for love.” He complained.

From inside the carriage, the six of us began to talk, until of course we ran out of things to talk about, and then the obvious happened. “Are we there yet?” I asked.

"Oh dear Celestia!" Blaze complained.

“LUNA!” I corrected him. “Also that didn’t answer my question.”

"Don't start with this, partner.” Engie complained.

"Nopony even answered my question yet!” I complained.

"Yes Flare, we're here. The Gala's just right next door to Ponyville!” Psyche said sarcastically.

"Really? Leet!" I said excitedly.

"He was being sarcastic.” Blaze reminded me.

"That didn’t even sound like sarcasm, so don’t gimmie that garbage, brah!” I complained.

"How 'bout some music?" Engie asked as he takes out his guitar and begins singing a familiar song, "All my ex's live in Pexas! And Pexas is a place...."

"I think we covered that already, dude. You got any other songs?" Blaze asked.

"Ah don't know much songs." Engie said. "But ah think ah know one ah've been saving for a rainy day."

"It's not even raining outside." Crystal said.

“Amen to that.” Thunder said from outside.

"Love you, Thundy!” Crystal called out.

"So how about that song, Engie?” Aqua asked.

Engie clears his throat and begins playing his guitar again. He started to sing, “Oh there was one time a story when this pony, got his village burned down and all his folks died. This is the story about Aquatic Armor.”

"Stop, please.” Aqua asked.

"Ya didn’t even hear the whole thing.” Engie reminded him.

“I don’t want to.” Aqua said.

"So what you guys gonna do at the Gala?" Blaze asked.

I started to explain my list first, "Eat, and dance with Fluttershy, and talk to Luna, and eat...." I went on. ".... and go to the bathroom, and dance with Fluttershy, and drink punch, and talk to Luna, and drink some punch, and go to the bathroom, and dance with Fluttershy, and eat, and go outside to watch the night sky, and eat, and eat, and eat, and eat, and talk to Luna, and drink some punch, and dance with Fluttershy, and talk to Luna, and drink some tea...."

"I THOUGHT IT WAS PUNCH?!" Crystal yelled.

"Oh right, lawl!" I remembered. "Drink some punch, and dance with Fluttershy, and go outside to watch the night sky, and talk to Luna, and dance with Flutter-"

"ALRIGHT WE GET IT!" Psyche yelled.

"You mad bro?" I asked him.

"Dude, just stop, please!" Psyche begged.

"That's your problem, you never do anything fun." I pointed out.

"HEY! I am too fun!" Psyche yelled. He started to get really angry.

"YOU BORE US ALL!!" Crystal yelled as Psyche started crying. Crystal was holding her phone up to Psyche's mouth while he was crying and she began laughing.

"I just recorded his crying! I'm gonna make it my ringtone!" Crystal said. "Flare, call me!" I took out my phone and I called Crystal. Crystal's ringtone makes the sound of Psyche crying, and then Crystal and I started laughing.

"Crystal, that wasn’t cool.” Blaze pointed out.

"Oh you're all the same! Don't pretend you don't think it's funny, Blaze!" Crystal said as she chuckled. Blaze first glared at her, but then he started to chuckle too.

"Alright, it was a little funny. But just a little." Blaze admitted. He tried to hold back his laughter, but he started laughing louder. "Okay, it was really funny! Happy now?"

"Well, I’m not unhappy.” I said.

“Wasn’t talking to you, Flare.” Blaze reminded me.

"This gala is gonna be fun! Ah could tell y’all that!" Engie said. “Probably more fun than the hokey pokey! Ah was so addicted to that song; that is… until ah turned myself around.”

“That’s what it’s all about!” Crystal said.

“Well we have a couple of hours to spare until we get to the gala. Who wants a jelly baby?” Psyche asked as he takes out a sack of jelly babies from his pocket.

A couple of hours went by and night fell. Our carriages arrives at the gala, music starts playing in the background, and all the ponies are arriving at the scene. The Noble Six pop out of their carriage, and stand on the red carpet to the Gala.

"I can't believe it's finally done!" I said excitedly. "With all the work we put through, the winds in the atmosphere will be sure to make this....." I take out a kite. "The Best Kite Ever! Now watch as we awkwardly sing a parody of the gala song in our best voices, which are probably not that great. AT THE GALA!”

"At the gala." The choir sang.

"At the gala, at the contests. I'll be sure to beat them all. Whether it's pie eating, or art crafting, I'll be constipated at the Gala!" Crystal sang.

"At the Gala." The choir sang.

"All the losers, all the Facebook whiners! They all will take their fall! No one will care about your po-osts, about your failure at the Galaaaaaaaa!" Crystal sang.

"All their dreams will become nightmares right here at the Grand Gala, at the Gala!" the choir sang.

"At the Gala...." Engie sang.

"Need dispenser." The choir sang.

"...Ah will build them..." Engie sang.

"Sappin sentry." sang the Choir.

“…for all except with Scout!" Engie sang.

"Pew pew pew!" the choir sang.

"For the fair..." Engie sang.

"The Science Fair."

"...For best bots..."

"First place!" the choir sang.

"...And play mah guitar a'loud for the snotty high-class ponieeeeeees!" Engie sang.

"All our lives will end at the hooves from mysterious figures. But the Noble Six will rise, and spread the lulz right at the Gala! Wait, what were talking about?" the choir sang.

"At the gala, my masters. Will meet Aquatic Armor! I’ll take an advancement - at my studies, it will all happen at the gala!" Aqua sang.

"At the Gala." The choir sang.

"I will show them, my intellect, and how interesting they will be! Your drinks will go down the wrong pipe, tonight at the Gala-!" he sang as he choked a bit after singing while sipping some punch.

"This is what we've waited for, to have the best fight ever! Who will win the boxing games that are not featured at the gala!" the choir sang.

The Wonderbolts fly right across the sky. Blaze smiles at them as they fly by. "Been dreaming, but I been waiting - to fly with a glass of a water. To show power of phoenix and dragon, take a drink and begin braggin’. The Wonderbolts will entertain thousands, I'll shower you with almonds. I hope you won’t have an allergic reaction, or you'll be sick at the Galaaaaa!" Blaze sang as he spreads almonds everywhere as he flies by, and Aqua started to get sick.

"You better get your doggie bags ready, if you're allergic after. When you vomit you'll make a mess, and make a scene at the Grand Gala! At the gala!" the choir sang.

"I am here at the Grand Gala, for it has the best space supplies! The moon will look bigger, than Flare's big red behind!" Psyche sang.

"Oh that’s harsh.” I said.

"For I am gonna give my speech, all the ponies will agree. That space will be interesting, I'll be listened at the Galaaaaa!" Psyche sang.

"All the boring speeches from Psyche Illusion will happen at the Gala!" the choir sang.

"Oh shut up!" Psyche yelled.

Princess Luna glides through the sky will sparkles behind her. “OW! Sparkle in my eye!” she yelled out as she rubbed her eye.

"At the Gala..." I sang.

"At the Gala." The choir sang.

"....All these ponies...." I sang.

"All these ponies." The choir sang.

"...Are starting to annoy me." I sang.

"'Cause we're mimicking." The choir sang.

"I'm gonna say puns and spread the lulz, and talk about Halo 3." I sang.

"L-O-L." the choir sang.

"I'm also gonna eat big like Spike, and I really have to peeeeeee!" I sang as I danced around and ran passed the choir, trying to find a lavatory.

"The mares will wear the best tights eveeeeeer! Into the bathroom we must go, we gotta go, and we stubbed our toe. Into the Gala, let's go in and have the best food fight ever. Into the Gala, the Noble Six will be known, and have great ringtones on our phones!" the choir sang.

"Into the Gala, spread some tears." Crystal sang.

"Into the Gala, capture point." Engie sang.

"Into the Gala, master’s degree.” Aqua sang.

"Into the Gala, do insane stunts." Blaze sang.

"To win!" Crystal yelled

"To build!" Engie yelled.

"To advance!" Aqua yelled.

"To amaze!" Blaze yelled.

"To share!" Psyche yelled.

"Tu-tu!” I yelled out as I was wearing a ballerina tu-tu. “I found this on the bathroom floor and I’m trying to find lost and found.”

"Into the Gala, into the Gala! And we'll have a wasted night ever! At the Gala!" everypony sang.

“And of course Spike was left out of the song again.” I complained.

“It’s ok.” Spike said as he was wearing a classic American type outfit with a big poufy wig and an outfit that looks like an outfit George Washington wears. “It seemed a little too Disney-ee for me. I’ll have my chance to shine soon. Come to think of it, a lot of things that happened in last year’s gala was pretty Disney-ee. I mean, Rarity losing her slipper, Fluttershy singing to the animals, the columns getting knocked down by Rainbow Dash is from Hercu-“

“Who are you?” I asked.

“It’s me, Spike.” He said.

“What in the Wizard of Hope’s name are you wearing? Is this the 1700s or something?” I asked.

“Rarity gave it to me to wear. She said it’s the only way I can be at the gala with her.” Spike said.

“By making you look like a senior citizen?” I asked.

“To be honest, I think that’s point.” Spike said.

Just then, Princess Celestia opened the front doors to the castle to let all the guests inside and start the gala. "Greetings, my little ponies!" she announced. "Welcome to the Grand Galloping Gala! I hope you all enjoy yourselves! Now there are surveys inside. Fill out the surveys and you’ll get a free T-shirt, or a free blouse if you’re from Canterlot or Manehatten.” So everypony starts going inside the castle to enjoy themselves at this fancy party. The princess was welcoming everypony, and it when it was our turn to get welcomed, I needed to have a little talk with our princess. “Noble Six! Welcome to the gala!”

"Yeah, that’s nice. Where’s Luna?” I asked as I looked around.

“She’s inside, just as I promised.” Celestia said with a smile.

“Thank you, your highness.” I bowed and let myself inside.

“Wow that was rude.” Blaze said.

“It’s ok, Blaze. He just wants Luna to be noticed. Completely understandable.” Celestia said.

"Thank ya, ya’re highness!" Aqua bowed.

"This will be fun!" Crystal said excitedly.

"Is there a schedule fer what's goin on inside?" Engie asked.

"Yes, Engineer. You'll find it when you get inside near the fountain.” Celestia said.

“Which fountain? There are two fountains in here.” Crystal asked as she drank from the chocolate fountain.

"So what made you think of making this a 'bring a date' type of gala?" Thunder asked.

"You'll find out soon, Black Thunder. Now I must greet the other guests now!" Celestia said. “You ponies have a great time, and if you need anything I’ll be- oh… they’re gone.” Yeah none of us were with Celestia so we already went inside. Celestia looked over to see if there were anymore guests to greet but they were all gone as well. “And all the guests are gone. Well then…”

"Howdy, boys!" AppleJack said to us.

“Ready to par-tay?” Pinkie asked.

“Par-tay isn’t a real word. Ya should really think ‘bout goin’ back to school.” Engie advised her.

“Well it looks like we’re done here. C’mon, Thundy! We should sign up for these contests before the lines get too long.” Crystal suggested.

“As you wish, babe!” Thunder said as the two of them went to find a sign-up sheet.

“Anyways Blaze, I was thinking of you and I can hang out.” Rainbow suggested. “We can glide around the castle, maybe… we can find somewhere private at the maze and share our personal secrets?” Rainbow leans close to Blaze with a seductive look on her eyes.

“That sounds awesome! Can I bring a glass of water with me though? I need to practice.” Blaze said.

“Practice drinking while flying? That sounds awesome, Blaze! I should totally try that out!” Rainbow said excitedly as she and Blaze fly off.

“So Engie what do ya wanna do? Ah was never AT the actual gala personally.” AppleJack asked him.

“Me neither, but ah’m mostly here for the science fair.” Engie said.

“Ah that sounds really interesting!” Twilight agreed. “After the incident of last year’s gala, Princess Celestia has really improved it by adding some interesting events and competitions. It’s no longer just a ball, it’s a festival!” Twilight said.

“I love balls!” Pinkie said excitedly. “Especially ones that roll and knock into pins!”

“If you didn’t add that second sentence, what ya would’ve said wouldn’t sound right.” Engie points out.

“So Pinkie, since it’s professional for us to have dates in this party, I chose you!” Psyche said.

Pinkie gasped in amazement and said, “Psyche that is so sweet! We’re gonna have so much fun! I mean… unless you think we’re not going to have fun, in that case- it’ll still be fun!”

Psyche chuckles and said, “Alright, take it easy, girl. Anyways I’m going to do a little research in a bit, but I think it’ll be fair to you if we have some fun first.”

“Isn’t research fun?” Pinkie asked.

“Of course research is fun!” Psyche said. “That is, until there are no more questions to be asked, in that case, I’d feel like a failure.”

“So let’s go to ballroom!” Pinkie suggested.

“Ballroom it is!” Psyche nodded as he gets grabbed by Pinkie and she hops to the ballroom. “Whoa there! Careful with the tuxedo! I brought jelly babies with me!”

“Wow, you eat babies? That sounds so wrong.” Pinkie said as the two went out of sight.

“So ya wanna head over to your science fair, baby?” AppleJack asked Engie.

“Sure, AJ! I- wait a minute…” Engie was a little suspecious about that AppleJack in front of him.

“Sorry it took me so long, sugarcube.” Another AppleJack said from behind Engie with a couple of glasses of cider. “Ah needed a little bit of cider in me to help me not think about business and just have fun. So ya ready for your science fair?”

“Wha-?” Engie asked as he looked at the AppleJack behind him and then he turns back, and the first AppleJack that was with him vanished. “Sure, AJ! But we better be careful. It would seem an arch-nemesis of mine has returned to finish the job.”

“Who?” AppleJack asked.

“Just… keep walkin’.” Engie whispered as him and AppleJack walk away.

“So Rarity, you ready to take it up a notch? Ready for us to waltz?” Spike asked as he moved his eyebrows up and down as he looked at Rarity, and he sticks out his elbow hoping for Rarity to take it (not REALLY take his elbow, this isn’t that type of fanfic).

"Oh Spike, my dear. Your tie's not on straight!" Rarity said while fixing his tie with her magic.

"No, Rarity. I'm fine." he said.

"Oh dear, maybe I should've used blue instead of red." Rarity thought.

"No Rarity, really, it's all cool! Let's just head inside." Spike said.

"Sure thing, Spikey-Boo, buuuut… umm…. I think I… punch! I need punch.” Rarity said. “Would you be a dear and go get me some?” she fluttered her eyes at him.

“Of course! You’re my date for tonight, so I must live to serve!” Spike bowed as he reverses himself so he get to the punch, but while he was at it, he knocks into a colum with a vase. Rarity fixes it for him, and then Spike runs off to get Rarity her punch.

Rarity trots off as well as she says to us, “Ta ta!”

“So Aqua, care to put our dating research to the test?” Twilight asked.

“Absolutely! I think the correct way of startin’ is to say… ‘ladies first’, so what do ya wanna do?” Aqua asked.

“If you insist, I really want see some Starswirl the Bearded displays.” Twilight suggested.

“Then there we will go. Lead the way!” Aqua said as the two of them walked off. So all there was left was Fluttershy and me. Fluttershy was a little too nervous to speak, so I started off.

“So Flutters, have you ever heard the expression – it takes two to tangle?” I asked.

“Umm… I-I… umm…” Fluttershy stuttered.

“Cause we still need another pony to fill our number 2. Know of a pony like that?” I asked.

“I… umm… I think… umm…” she stuttered again.

“It just doesn’t sound right though. How about just us? We go over to the ballroom, and we’ll go dance. You and me!” I said as I held my hoof out.

“I… umm… ok, Flare. If th-that’s what you want.” She blushed and took my hoof.

“Awesome! Get ready for the time of your life, Mama Fluttershy!” I said.

“Oh… my…” she said nervously as the two of us went over to the ballroom so we can tango.

So we start off our… umm… me and Flutters, Crystal and Thundy, Blaze and- seven different parts of the story with Crystal and Thundy. The two of them were heading over to the competition sign-up place so they can sign-up for the… you know… competitions. "Hey Thundy, look!" Crystal pointed to a sign-up list in the corner of the main hall.

"What is it?" Thunder asked.

“It’s a clipboard, genius.” Crystal reminded him.

Thunder picks up the clipboard and looks through it. "Check this out! They're having a nine-course meal eating contest!" he said.

"Awesome!" she said.

"You should totally sign up!" Thunder said.

"You really think I can do it?" Crystal asked.

"I know you can do it, babe! Just sign up, and I'm sure the reward will be most rewarding!" Thunder said and laughed. Crystal laughed along.

“I don’t get it. Why are we laughing?” she asked.

“Doesn’t matter. Are you going to do it?” Thunder asked. “I mean you did sing in the awkward parody, didn’t you, yo?”

"Alright, I'll do it!" she said as she signs her name on the clipboard. "But I didn't want to sign up right away. I wanted to go dance first."

"Too late for that. Look, it's starting in two minutes! We better head over there!" Thunder said.

"Oh, alright." Crystal said. “But first, I think I need to wash my hooves.”

“Why bother? You’re going to be touching the floor anyway with them.” Thunder reminded her.

“Good point. Let’s get going.” Crystal said.

“Ska-boosky!” Thunder cried out. The two of them walk inside the dining hall in the castle where the nine-course eating contest is supposed to take place in.

Meanwhile with Flutters and I, we already walked into the ballroom where we’re going to dance. "Oh look, it's Octavia! HI OCTY!" I yelled and waved. Octavia saw me while she was playing her cello, waved back, and continued playing. "And over there is some snobby Canterlot ponies, drinking while tilting their heads back and their eyes closed, and probably laughing at jokes that are not funny. Oh and there's Derpy knocking Lyrica Lilac’s wig-off! Wow, the biggest plot-twist in Rarity’s last episode."

"So Flare, you… umm… mind we dance?” Fluttershy asked.

"Oh go ahead, I won’t stop you.” I insisted.

“I… umm… umm…” Fluttershy couldn’t just say it. She didn’t want to mess this up for me. I still had no idea Fluttershy had a crush on me, but you know I’m going to find out soon, since I’m mentioning it right now in this narration.

“Mama Flutters, are you alright?” I asked.

“I’m… f-fine.” Flutters stuttered.

“Well if you want me to dance with you, I’d be happy to.” I said.

“Really?” Fluttershy asked as she started to get a little excited. “Sure! Just as soon as I search the floor and make sure there are no cardboard mats in the way.”

“Oh… umm… ok.” Flutters said. As I was just about to search the floor for those cardboard mats, I see Princess Luna walking inside the ballroom. I got really excited to see her.

“Holy Wizard of Feelings! There she is!” I pointed.

“Who?” Flutters asked as she turned around.

“It’s Luna! The pony I’ve been wanting to see all night! I’m going to go hang out with her and forget anything important or romantic that I was supposed to do.” I said as I was walking over to Luna to see her.

“Oh, but, F-Flare, I-I… eep!” she squeaked.

"Hey Luna!" I said to her.

"Greetings Flare Gun!" Luna said happily. "I am so thrilled that you made it tonight! How might you be?”

"I dunno what that means, so I’m just going to say how I’m doing tonight. Feeling great! How about you?" I asked.

"Same here! Haven't been the the Gala in years!" Luna said.

"I never have been to the Gala at all, but now I am, and so far it's going awesome possum! And now that you're here, that makes it a lot more better!” I said excitedly.

Luna chuckles. "Thank you, Flare. We never got the chance to just hang out and talk. So how's your business?" she asked. Fluttershy just watched us in depression. She really wanted to woo me, not that I knew, so she had to think of something.

Meanwhile, Blaze and Rainbow Dash were trotting through the castle hallways. Blaze was telling Rainbow about his trip to the Gala. "And then right after, Aqua looked like he was about to jump out of the carriage right after Engie was playing that song of him again right after Aqua aggregated Engie by saying it doesn’t make much sense that anything liquid isn’t a real science." Blaze said as he laughed.

“I don’t get it. How is that funny?” Rainbow asked.

“Eh, it’ll probably just be funny to you if you were there.” Blaze said.

"Wow! Your trip was even crazier than mine.” Rainbow said. “Rarity kept complaining about Pinkie and blowing bubbles from the gum she had. Rarity just used her magic to throw Pinkie’s gum out the window so she wouldn’t get her dress all sticky.”

“I’d say I’m surprised, but then I’d have a big nose.” Blaze teased. Rainbow chuckles after he says that.

"And then Twilight kept telling us a lecture on how bubbles are made in gum. Yeah, like I care. I just like to see it happen!” Rainbow said. “Just like I would like to see the real reason Elsa didn’t want to go out and play with Anna.

A cutaway shows a young Elsa from the movie Frozen watching TV in her room since she can’t really do anything else. She was watching The Snowmen episode from Doctor Who. Elsa was really freaked out by those monstrous snowmen. Just then, Anna knocks on her door which startles Elsa, “Do you wanna build a snowman?” Anna asked from outside.

“GO AWAY, ANNA!” Elsa said in fear as she held her legs and started shaking. The cutaway ends.

Just then, while Rainbow and Blaze were walking, they find Spitfire walking up to them and she said, “Rainbow Dash, Blaze! I had the feeling you two would be here.”

“Hey Spitfire!” Rainbow and Blaze said at the same time. They both look at each other in confusion.

“Oooook. Anyways, Blaze, you should go put on your tight-suit and get yourself ready. We have a show coming on in 15 minutes.” Spitfire said.

“Awesome!” Rainbow said excitedly.” Isn’t this great, Blaze? We’re going to be flying with the Wonderbolts and do some interesting stunts!”

“Oh, sorry, Rainbow Dash. Believe me, I’d love for you to fly with us, but only average ranking Wonderbolts can perform at the gala.” Spitfire said.

“But aren’t I going to be a Wonderbolt soon anyway? What about my entrance exam?” Rainbow asked.

“The results didn’t come in yet. There are so many other ponies that are signing up for the Wonderbolts and you were 36th in line. I’m sorry, Rainbow Dash, but believe me, it would be awesome having you fly with us once again.” Spitfire said.

“Sorry, Rainbow.” Blaze said.

“No, really, it’s ok. We can always soar together have to show. I’ll be watching from the booths.” Rainbow said.

“Awesome! Hey, if it makes you feel any better, you can watch from the V.I.P. booth.” Spitfire offered.

“Exactly, Rainbow! You get to have the best seat in the house as you watch us perform!” Blaze said.

“I can hardly wait!” Rainbow faked a smile and said. After Blaze and Spitfire walk off, Rainbow sadly says to herself, “I’d rather be flying with you.”

Meanwhile, Rarity was just sitting at her table all alone, just watching as Prince Blueblood was chatting with some of the mares at the buffet. “What a stubborn fool. He doesn’t deserve Rarity’s loveliness. Hmph!”

“I got your punch, Rarity!” Spike said as he gives her some punch.

“Fabulous, Spike! You’re such a gentlecolt.” Rarity said.

“Thank you, Rarity! It was no trouble at all! All I had to do was pass a bunch of old mares that kept asking to dance with me.” Spike said.

“Oh that insignificant prince! Why is he part of a royal bloodline? I have the feeling he was adopted.” Rarity complained.

“Who?” Spike asked.

“Prince Blueblood. Such a fool, not to mention he doesn’t even look that charming when you think about it. He ruined prince charmings for me!” Rarity complained.

“Shrek ruined prince charmings for me, and so did Frozen.” Spike said. “Made me question some of these earlier Disney movies.”

“If there was only a way to get back at him for stressing me out in the past.” Rarity thought.

“How about making him jealous?” Spike asked.

“Hmm… Spikey-Wikey you are such a genius!” Rarity smiled and said.

Spike blushed and said, “Well… I’d give Twilight some of the credit for letting me live with her. You get to learn a thing or two. I’m pretty much smarter than the average dragon.”

“I’ll find somepony in the crowd who is much more handsome than Blueblood, and I will make him jealous!” Rarity said mischievously.

“That’s the spirit, Rari- wait, somepony in the crowd?” Spike asked.

“I better make sure my head-dress is on straight.” Rarity said as she straightens her hair. Spike sighs.

In the main hall, Pinkie was saying hello to everypony and saying how much she loves the Gala, along with Psyche by her side. "Hello, I'm Pinkie Pie!" she said. "Aren't you excited about the Gala! I am! I am! Hi, I'm Pinkie Pie! I hope you're enjoying the night as much as I am! Hey, you like cupcakes?"

"Hey Pinkie?" Psyche asked to get her attention.

"Yes, Psyche?" Pinkie asked.

"You know, I don't have to be here while you say hello to everypony. How about I go do a couple of stuff, and I'll catch up with you later?" Psyche suggested.

Pinkie gasped. "NO! You're my date! That means you have to stay with me the whole time!" she said.

"No it doesn't. I just want to study space for a few minutes. I have a speech you see.” Psyche said.

"STUDY?! We're here to have fun!" Pinkie cried. "You can't study at the Gala!"

"Well, I do have to prepare for a slideshow, and speech." Psyche said.

"Speech smeech! Stay with me! C'mon!" Pinkie begged.

"Alright, Pinkie fine. But later, I'm doing my speech. Okay?" Psyche asked.

"Okkie dokey lokey!" Pinkie said as she continued introducing herself to the random ponies in the ballroom. "Hi I'm Pinkie Pie, and this is my second year at the Gala! You know?" Psyche sighed, and gave himself a facehoof.

In the convention room, Engie was polishing his Sentry that he made fresh. "Ah! A clean Sentry, is a happeh sentry." he said. Although his sentry explodes right in front of him. "What in tarnation?"

AppleJack was holding a remote control of some sort. "Oops. Sorry Engie." she said.

"You pressed mah sentry detonator button?" Engie asked in shock.

"Ah'm sorry, sugarcube. Ah didn't know." AppleJack said. “Maybe ah should go get another shot of cider.”

"Oh, it was accident, don't worry 'bout it, AJ." Engie forgave her. "Ah can get 'nother one build before the judgin."

"Alright, partner!" AppleJack said as she takes a look at one of Engie’s other devices. "Hey, what's this?"

"That's mah dispenser." Engie said. "It can restore your...." AppleJack pressed the detonator button again and his dispenser gets destroyed.

"Woops! Mah bad!" AppleJack said feeling embarrassed.

"AJ!" Engie yelled.

"Look, ah'm not used to this fancy-smancy technology!" she said. "Y’all can whip up 'nother one right?"

"As long as ya don't press anymore buttons, and slow down on the cider, it’s makin’ ya all… loopy.” Engie said.

"Aw-righty, Engie!" AppleJack said as she hiccupped. Engie shook his head and started gathering the pieces of his destroyed machines.

Meanwhile with Aqua and Twilight, they exited the Star Swirl the Bearded wing of the castle and began walking back to the main hall. “Aqua, you may not know it, but I find Star Swirl the Bearded to be the most fascinating pony in pony history. He’s the one who inspired me to study magic in the first place.” Twilight said.

“Uh huh.” Aqua agreed.

“What do you think of Star Swirl the Bearded?” Twilight asked.

“Oh I’m not really into pony history.” Aqua admitted.

“What? Why not?” Twilight asked.

“Well, first off, it’s history, no use looking into the past, right? Second, I find Star Swirl the Bearded to be a little bit… pushy.” Aqua explained.

“Well excuse me, Aqua! Care to explain why?” Twilight asked in an insulted tone.

“Well to start off, even though he is a good unicorn, he doesn’t seem to be too friendly with other pony folk.” Aqua said.

“He was too friendly! He was an ally to the princesses and all of Equestria!” Twilight corrected him.

“He seemed to be a jerk towards them though.” Aqua said.

“That’s only because he’s always busy with his magic and is in no time to make friends.” Twilight explained.

“Like ya were?” Aqua asked.

“Exactl- wait.... UGH!” Twilight groaned.

“It’s only my opinion, mate. I apologize.” Aqua said.

Twilight sighs and said, “Its ok, Aqua. Research says that first dates are not supposed to be the best. We’re supposed to get to know each other first.”

“I supposed ya’re correct there.” Aqua agreed.

“Come, how about we go see the princess?” Twilight asked.

“Which one; even though the answer is fairly obvious?” Aqua asked.

“Celestia of course!” Twilight said.

“Alright, but not too long, ok please? The director of the university I’m in is at the gala, and I want to impress him if I am goin’ to get my master’s degree.” Aqua said.

“Of course, Aqua! It won’t take too long.” Twilight said as she starts walking.

“That’s what all mares say.” Aqua mumbled to himself as he follows Twilight. “Wait, did I actually say that out loud?”

Mewanwhile, in the dining hall, Crystal gets set up with her first round at the nine-course meal eating contest. "You ready babe?" Crystal asked. Thunder inhaled and was about to shout out, but instead he choked. “Don’t get sick on me already, dude, we have a ton of food to scoff down!”

"Alright!" Thunder yelled. “Let’s do this!”

“Oh wait, hang on, somepony wants to take a picture of us.” Crystal points to a photographer in front of them. Crystal places her hoof around her coltfriend and they both smile for the camera. The photographer takes the picture, and the picture shows Crystal with her hoof around Thunder, both smiling, and Thunder had his eyes closed.

“Darn it, my eyes were closed again! It’s been happening since I was a foal!” Thunder complained. So, the first round was a salad eating contest. “Wow, this seems simpler than I thought.”

“Would you like some pepper on that, sir?” a waiter asked with a crank of black pepper.

“Yes, please.” Thunder nodded.

“Tell me when to stop.” The waiter said as he started cranking the pepper into Thunder’s salad. The waiter continued cranking the pepper because Thunder still hasn’t said stop yet.

“I think that’s enough pepper, Thundy.” Crystal suggested.

“Not now, Crystal. I’m concentrating.” Thunder said as he smirked at his salad. Crystal sighs.

Meanwhile, back at the ballroom Fluttershy was sitting alone on a table, sipping on some ciders. "Hm... I wonder why Flare is taking a long time talking to Luna?" she asked herself as she looks over and sees us talking.

“Madam Fluttershy, why seems to have you in the blues tonight?” Fancypants asked as he sat down next to her.

“Oh, hi Fancypants.” Fluttershy sighs. “It’s just Flare.”

“I know a couple of Flares, my dear. Can you be more specific?” Fancypants asked.

“Flare Gun.” Fluttershy points to me whispering in Luna’s ear and Luna started to giggle.

“Ah yes, the odd one. I met him the day before I was sued by Filthy Rich. Like he needed more money.” Fancypants complained.

“I don’t know what to do. I mean, I know Flare and Princess Luna have a history, but I thought him and I had something special going on?” Fluttershy asked.

“Have you told him the truth?” Fancypants asked.

“No, I haven’t.” Flutters said. “I mean… I thought it was obvious? He always comes to see me, he’s very kind to me, and he calls me Mama Fluttershy all the time. I don’t know. I thought it was love?”

“Why don’t you just tell him?” Fancypants suggested.

“Oh, I… I would but… umm…” Flutters thought.

“You’re shy, aren’t you?” Fancypants asked.

“Well… m-maybe a bit.” Fluttershy studdered.

“I thought it was obvious?” Spike asked as he walked by a tray of horderves for Rarity.

“Well perhaps what you need is a little push.” Fancypants suggested.

“I am not taking drugs.” Flutters said.

“No, it’s not really a drug, it’s more of a…” Fancypants said as he puts a bottle of cider on the table.

“I don’t drink.” Flutters said.

“Everypony drinks, my dear. Whether it’s water, lemonade, iced tea, diet soda… cider is no different.” Fancypants said.

“I dunno. I don’t normally drink cider unless I’m at a party- ok, fill me.” Flutters said as she pushes her shot glass over to Fancypants.

Meanwhile, while Rarity was flirting with some of the party guests, Spike arrives with the horderves from the last scene. “Here you are, Rarity! Horderves! Ready to tango now?” Spike asked.

"Umm, who might this gentlecolt be, Miss Rarity?” one of the stallions asked.

“Who? This old chap? Oh he’s just my personal assistant. He got us both some horderves while we chat.” Rarity explained.

“I see.” the stallion said.

“Rarity are we going to dance or what? All I’ve been doing is giving you food and drinks.” Spike complained.

Rarity starts laughing. “Oh, ol James over here. He knows how to joke around. I find him quite amusing!”

“James?” Spike asked.

“Hmm… I don’t fancy these horderves. Could your assistant fetch me some oat balls?” the stallion asked.

“Fetch? What am I, a dog?!” Spike complained as he foreshadowed his future.

Rarity clops her hooves together and said, “Go on, James. Fetch my friend here some of those oat balls he wants.”

“Ok first off, James is not a name of a butler, it’s a limo driver; second, why are you calling me James, and why are you calling me your assistant?” Spike asked.

“James, please, I am in no mood for your stories. Now please, get my friend some oat balls!” Rarity demanded.

“Oh I’ll give him some oat balls!” Spike mumbled to himself as he marches away to get them.

“Please excuse my assistant. Things aren’t perfect for him since his son joined the royal guard. I do pity the poor little guy.” Rarity said. Prince Blueblood starts walking by and Rarity started giggling, “Oh you are so funny, Tom! I find you to be quite divine!”

“Uhh… my name is Shooting Star.” He corrected her.

Meanwhile with Rainbow and Blaze, those two were... actually, they weren’t together. Rainbow was just sitting in the VIP booth, waiting for the Wonderbolts show to start. “Isn’t this going to be awesome?” Crescent Moon asked Rainbow.

“Oh, sure… way awesome.” Rainbow said sarcastically.

“Hey can you do me a favor? I need to use the restroom. Can you save my spot, please?” Crescent Moon asked.

“Sure… why not? I’m doing anything else useful tonight.” Rainbow complained.

“Thank you!” Crescent said happily as he walked out to use the restroom, but just then Bulk Biceps shows up and sits down in Crescent’s seat.

“Uhh… Bulk?” Rainbow asked.

“RAINBOW DASH! GOOD TO SEE YOU!” Bulk yelled.

“Yeah, likewise!” Rainbow said. “Umm… Crescent Moon was sitting there, and-“

“OH, THAT’S TOO BAD! SORRY HE HAD TO LEAVE!” Bulk yelled. “DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT! HE’LL PROBABLY SEE THIS ON TV ANYWAY! YEAH!”

“Fillies and gentlecolts! Please welcome our beloved athletes from Cloudsdale… the Wonderbolts!” the announcer said as Blaze and the Wonderbolts started dashing out into the open and started to perform in front of everypony. As the Wonderbolts begin performing, Blaze waves to Rainbow Dash, and she waves back but she fakes a smile while doing so.

“I thought we were supposed to be flying together?” Rainbow asked sadly. “This is worse than a scientist trying to insult someone.”

A cutaway shows a scientist saying “I’d like to introduce a new number: a nullion. It derives from a latin word ‘nullus’ meaning ‘none’. For example: 1 nullion is equal to 0,000,000. That means one nullion isn’t just nothing, it’s a whole lot of nothing. In conclusion: that is how much I care for my son’s acting career.” The cutaway ends.

Meanwhile, Engie was just about finished to build his new sentry. AppleJack was looking at his teleporter. “Hey Engie, what’s this?” AppleJack asked.

“Something ya shouldn’t touch.” Engie said. AppleJack then stepped in the entrance teleporter and disappeared. She then reappeared on the exit teleporter at the other side of the room.

“Whoa nelly! That was amazin!” AppleJack said in excitement. AppleJack kept running to the entrance teleporter, and kept reappearing on the exit teleporter non-stop for at least 8 times. It started to annoy Engie and a couple of the other ponies around the room.

“AJ!” Engineer cried out. “Please, stop! Ah need to focus to get this sentry finished!” AppleJack didn’t listen and kept on using the teleporter. “How many ciders did she have?!”

“Ah dunno, about… this many.” AppleJack said with her hoof out.

“That means one.” Engie said.

“Yes, a whole…” AppleJack started to chuckle. “A WHOLE BARREL!”

“Ah don’t get it. How is that funny?” Engie asked.

“Ah just love sayin’ barrel. Ba-ba-barrel! Ba-ba-barrel!” AppleJack continued laughing.

“Maybe ah should’ve taken Pinkie with me instead of AppleJack.” Engie said.

Meanwhile, Pinkie was partying hard in the main hall with Psyche non-stop, but Psyche was getting tired out. “Pinkie? I’m getting a little partied-out. Mind if I prepare for my speech?” he asked.

“NO!” Pinkie cried. “We must continue partying!”

“I’m sorry Pinkie, I’m just tired, and my speech starts in an hour.” Psyche said.

“Psyche I thought you were fun?” Pinkie whined.

“I am fun! You are too!” Psyche said. “But I need a break.”

“NO BREAK!” Pinkie cried. “C’mon, let’s dance!”

“I really don’t feel like.....” Pinkie interrupts Psyche as she pulls him onto the dance floor and Pinkie started tangoing with Psyche. She puts a rose on her mouth, and spun Psyche around.

“I’d throw up right now if I wasn’t so skinny.” Psyche said as his eyes rolled around his sockets.

“Good gracious, you are skinny! We need to get some food in you pronto!” Pinkie said.

“No, Pinkie, I’m not that hungry, but would you care for a jelly-“ Psyche takes out his sack of jelly babies out of his pocket but he drops them just as soon as Pinkie starts pulling him to the buffet.

Meanwhile, Twilight and Aqua were walking around the hallway when suddenly, Twilight spots Celestia. “Princess Celestia!” Twilight called out.

“Well if it isn’t my faithful student, Twilight Sparkle?” Celestia said while hugging Twilight. “Oh, and Aquatic Armor! You both enjoying the party?”

“It’s no problem at all, your highness!” Aqua bowed and said.

“So Aqua, I do not believe we are that much acquainted. Tell me, what do you do for a living?” Celestia asked.

“Well I’m currently in college tryin’ to get my master’s degree, but financial wise, I mainly just make sure the weather pegasi don’t flood out the town by adding too much rain.” Aqua said.

“Has there been any accidents lately?” Celestia asked.

“Not really. It’s been 2 months since the last weather accident. We have a sign that says so.” Aqua said.

“Interesting. Maybe you can tell me a bit about this accident.” Celestia suggested.

“Sure.” Aqua said.

“Well, during the accident I had my magic on-“ Twilight interrupted.

“Oh please pardon me, Twilight, but I’m talking to Aqua right now. I’ll get to you in a second.” Celestia said. “So tell me a bit about your accident.”

“Well, it really wasn’t my accident. I was just trying to solve it.” Aqua said.

“Mhm.” Celestia nodded. “Go on.”

“So when I was about to get my armor polished, I went over to cider bar to meet up with my friends over there-“ Aqua started and Twilight sighs.

“Can I talk to her please?” Twilight asked.

“Of course ya can, but lemme finish my story first. I mean research says we’re both supposed to have fun during the date, right?” Aqua asked.

“Of course, Aqua…. Of course.” Twilight said in an upsetting tone.

Back at the eating contest, the first round still hasn’t even started yet because the waiter kept cranking pepper for Thunder’s salad. “Hey, Thundy? How about a little salad with your pepper?” Crystal suggested.

“Hang on, hang on… we’re nearly there.” Thunder said.

“It’s nothing but a big pile of ash at this point! Why do you want with that much pepper? Allergies?!” Crystal yelled.

“Crystal, calm the H down!” Thunder instructed him.

“No… YOU CALM THE H DOWN!” Crystal yelled. “I want to start the contest!”

“Just give me a few minutes. I promise you won’t regret this.” Thunder said. Crystal starts to groan.

Meanwhile back at the Wonderbolt arena, Blaze continued flying around the castle doing his tricks for the crowd, including Rainbow Dash. It took a while but he was finally finished with his show and he meets up with his wife over at the stands. “Woo! Did you see me, Rainbow? Did you see me and how well I did with just a glass of water?!” Blaze asked excitedly.

“Sure… it was… amazing.” Rainbow said sarcastically.

“Are you ok?” Blaze asked.

“Fine, fine… I’m just glad the show is over so we can fly together.” Rainbow said.

“Oh… actually, Rainbow. I’m very tired from the show. It took a lot out of me more effectively than I thought.” Blaze said.

“Really?” Rainbow asked.

“Yes, really. What you don’t believe me?” Blaze asked.

“Oh well… where do I begin? Well, first you promise me that you’re going to fly with me, but you end up flying with your team! You care more about the Wonderbolts than you do with your wife?!” Rainbow complained.

“Hey, this is a one shot deal, Rainbow. The gala only comes once a year and my team is dependent of me.” Blaze said.

“Uh huh.” Rainbow nodded.

“Look I’m sorry, what do you want me to do to make it up to you?” Blaze asked.

“Fly with me!” Rainbow demanded.

“I can’t, I’m tired!” Blaze yelled.

“But you have enough energy to yell?” Rainbow asked.

“Oh c’mon, that’s not fair!” Blaze complained.

“I’ll fly by myself, you jerk.” Rainbow said angrily as she flew away.

“Wait! Rainbow! Come back!” Blaze begged.

“Hey buddy, good job on the show.” Crescent Moon said.

“Thanks.” Blaze said upsettingly.

“Mares huh? Can’t rely them for anything. Ask them to save your spot and a roid raged maniac comes in and steals it and she does nothing about it.” Crescent complained.

“WHO YOU CALLING ROID RAGED, PUNK?!” Bulk Biceps yelled at Crescent.

As Rarity continued strolling around the castle with some stallions she met, she was telling them unfunny stereotype jokes and becoming more popular at the gala for every word she’s been saying. Seriously, if Rarity’s going to tease stereotypes, at least do it right. “Here you go, Rarity. Oatballs for your friend.” Spike said in an annoyed tone.

“Oh Silver Lining here doesn’t like oatballs, he likes chocolate-covered strawberries.” Rarity said.

“So you’re telling me I need to go back to the buffet to give your flirt-buddy his chocolate covered strawberries?” Spike asked angrily.

“Oh no, that is not what I’m asking for my charming assistant.” Rarity said as she fluttered her eyes at him.

“Yeah, that doesn’t really work on me unless we’re alone.” Spike said.

“I want you to go to the buffet to… how about… three of everything?” Rarity asked.

“Just nothing with lemon in it. It can’t even touch the same plate as other foods.” One of the stallions with Rarity said.

“I love lemon!” one of the other stallions said.

“Ok, then how about two trays?” Rarity asked.

Spike started to lose his temper. “No!”

“I beg your pardon?!” Rarity asked in an insulted tone.

“I will not be your butler just so you can win over these ponies so you can make Prince Blueblood jealous, which in fact, I doubt you’ll even do!” Spike yelled.

“What are you saying, James?” Rarity started to chuckle embarrassingly. “I’m not winning over these ponies to make Prince Blueblood jealous!”

“MY NAME IS NOT JAMES!” Spike yelled as he threw the tray of horderves he was carrying on the floor. “I’m Spike, and I’m supposed to be your date for the gala! You said so yourself! But instead, you make look like an old man and pretend I’m butler!”

“James, if you give these ponies what they want without question, I’ll give you a nice big fire ruby when we get home.” Rarity offered.

“You mean the one that I gave you that you never wear?” Spike asked.

“James, please!” Rarity begged.

“I’m starting not to feel comfortable with this.” One of the stallions said.

“Me neither.” Another stallion said. “C’mon, lads. Let us walk away from this scene and go eat some food that’s very small and very expensive.” So the high-class ponies walk away.

“Spike, what gives?” Rarity complained.

“What gives? Wha-what gives?! That is your response?!” Spike complained. “You know, Rarity, you’re beautiful, the most beautiful pony in all of Equestria, and that’ll never change, but sometimes I feel that you’re only using me!”

“I would never use you, Spike! I wouldn’ve gotten this far without you!” Rarity said.

“Well next time, how about giving me a chance of doing something I want instead of me doing everything for you? You accepted my date here only to use me as a butler. Well, do it yourself because I’m out of here!” Spike explained as he walked away.

“Spikey wait! You left this mess of horderves on the floor! It messes up the whole room!” Rarity complained.

Meanwhile with Engie and AppleJack, Engie just finished all his robots. “There! After an hour of buildin, ah’m finally finished!” he said. He then looked at the time on his cell phone. “And only a half-hour left to spare!” Engie suddenly gasped right after. “Wait... spies sappin mah teleporter. And mah dispenser! And mah sentry!” EMP devices were planted on all of Engie’s electronics, and then as Engineer was trying to deactivate them, all his machines blew up. “NOOOOOOO!” he cried out.

“Hey Engie? What do these little devices do?” AppleJack asked Engie while holding a sapper. Engie gasped, and got real angry. So angry, steam was coming out of his ears, and his eyes were on fire, but a random pony in the crowd took a fire extinguisher and blasted it on Engie, cooling him off. Engie sighs and then shakes all the extinguisher foam off him. “Did ah do wrong?”

“Do ya do wrong? DID YA DO WRONG?! Words don’t even describe how wrong ya did!” Engie yelled. “In fact, ah’m not even gonna bother explainin’ it because it’s so wrong! It’s so wrong that even sayin’ the word wrong makes it so wrong!”

“Ah… ah don’t follow.” AppleJack said confusingly.

“Ah’m just gonna walk away now and cool off.” Engie said.

“But didn’t ya want my help?” AppleJack asked.

“Ah had everythin’ under control until you came along! How ‘bout ya make yourself useful and not be useful? Ah hope it’s somethin’ you’ll be able to do.” Engie suggested.

“Not really. If ah’m not useful, ah’m not who ah am. Ah have to be useful. Wait… how many times did ah say that?” AppleJack asked.

“Go get sobered up, AJ.” Engie suggested as he walked away.

Meanwhile with Psyche and Pinkie, Psyche was really getting tired out. He was dancing real slowly and it looked like he was about to pass out, as Pinkie was hoping around and still energetic. “C’mon Psyche! You can do better than that!” Pinkie said, shaking Psyche around.

“PINKIE! I’M TIRED! PINKIE! STAHP!” he cried.

“We’ll stop when we’re dead!” Pinkie yelled. “You should drink coffee more often you silly goose!”

“I can’t take this, Pinkie! I love you and you’re fun, but I’m tired and I have work to do! In fact, I think I’m too tired to work anyway! Thanks for making me tired and risking my research! Thanks a whole lot Pinkie!” Psyche ranted at her and he walked away.

“B-but, Psyche…. I…” Pinkie stuttered sadly until he sees cake frosting on Psyche’s cheeks. “Oooo, yummy yummy!” Pinkie starts sneaking up to Psyche’s cheeks while he walks away and…. I’ll just stop there.

Meanwhile back with Twilight and Aqua, Aqua kept chatting it up with Princess Celestia and every time Twilight tries to talk, she gets cut off. “Hey Twilight?” the princess asked.

Twilight started to get excited because Celestia was finally talking to her. “Yes, princess?”

“You think you can get the three of us some refreshments? All this talking is making me parched.” Celestia said.

Twilight started to get pretty angry, but she didn’t want to show her anger in front of her mentor, so mumbled to Aqua, “Aqua, may I talk to you for a moment in private?” Twlight then clears her throat and bows to the princess. “Your majesty, if it’s ok with you?”

“Of course, Twilight! I’m in need of some fresh air anyway. So I’ll be at the garden if you need me.” Celestia said as she starts to walk off, and then she mumbled to herself, “Hopefully Fluttershy’s not scaring the animals again.”

“Aqua what gives?” Twilight asked.

“Did I do somethin’ wrong? I’m remembering the research as much as I can.” Aqua said.

“I rarely come to Canterlot, so I’m barely able to see my teacher anymore. I wanted to talk to her, and you’re just…. How do I put this? You’re pigging her to yourself.” Twilight complained.

“I’m sorry, what?” Aqua asked.

“I come to the gala to spend some time with the princess, and you go on blabbering your mouth to her pretending I’m not here, and I don’t think that’s what the research says.” Twilight said.

“Well ya’re right ‘bout that, Twilight, but I didn’t want to be rude to the princess, but what was wrong about ya’re statement is that neither of us is supposed to talk to other ponies for that long. Chapter 11 says that the dates must be together at all times givin’ their attention most of the time to one another.” Aqua explained.

“Perhaps it was a mistake relying on you to be my test subject for this research.” Twilight said.

“This was research? I thought ya wanted to go on a date? This is a date.” Aqua said.

“Yeah, but I’d like to spend most of my gala time on the princess.” Twilight said.

“Alright, it appears we’ve reached an impasse here because I want to impress my professors.” Aqua said.

“But why can’t we do things by the book? The mare is always right, right?” Twilight asked.

“No, the date is always right it said.” Aqua corrected her. “Ya can’t order me around, ya’re not my mothe- forget I said that. I’m goin’ to go see my professors.”

“Then go do that. This date is over and we both can do what we want.” Twilight said.

“Fair enough to me. See ya ‘round, Twilight.” Aqua said as he walked away.

Twilight then stopped and thought to herself. “Did I do the right thing? Am I remembering the research correctly that if a date is bad, just walk away? Oh who am I kidding? I was never interested in dating anyway!”

Back with Fluttershy and I, or more like Luna and I, I was continuing to chat with her. I was just finishing up with a joke. “… And then so I said, insert punch-line here.” I said as I chuckled.

“I start laughing like a snob.” Luna said.

“And now I say something touching.” I said. “Luna, this night chatting with you was really fun. I really enjoy us hanging.”

“I feel the same way, Flare. I feel equal to the ponies and when I’m treated like everypony else. My sister and I may be rulers of Equestria, but what we really want is to blend in.” Luna explained.

“That’s why I don’t bow to you and your sister. I respect you both, but I’d rather treat you both like you’re not superior to me.” I said.

“That’s pretty nice of you…. I guess.” Luna said. “I mean my sister keeps saying how much you want me to go out more and be more noticed.”

“Of course!” I said.

“But my sister feels that you don’t like her.” Luna said.

“Well your sister is wrong. So… who’s your sister again?” I asked.

“Crimson Flare Gun!” Fluttershy yelled at me as she started talking like she’s dizzy. “I have something to say to you mister! You and I are on a date, and we should be spending more time together!”

“Wow, I didn’t know that vase she’s talking to has the same name as me.” I said.

“Fluttershy… you are facing the wrong way.” Luna said to her.

“Aww… I wanted to see how long it would take for her to figure it out.” I whined. Fluttershy turned around and walked closer to me with a derp look on her face.

“You and I are a date so why don’t we go dance together or something?” Flutters complained.

“Are you drunk?” I asked her.

“No! I drank cider! It has no alcoholic substance of any kind! Although it does make me feel a little loopy.” Fluttershy said.

“I think you two might need to talk alone. I’ll be out in the garden if you need me.” Luna said as she walked out. She then mumbled to herself, “Hopefully AppleJack won’t be out there pulling weeds, dirtying the garden up.”

“Mama Flutters, what’s your problem? Why are you loopy over cider? It shouldn’t make you loopy. Also I was talking to Luna. That was pretty rude of you, sista.” I said.

“Me… rude? I’m rude?! You’ve been rude to me this entire night!” Flutters yelled.

“How is that possible? I barely spoke to you all night!” I reminded her.

“We’re on a date, you and me! Flare Gun and Fluttershy out on a romantic date to the Grand Galloping Gala, and he goes out and flirts with Princess Luna. What is wrong with you?!” Flutters yelled at me.

“Mama Fluttershy, I really have no idea what you’re talking about!” I complained.

“And that’s another thing – why do you always call me Mama Fluttershy? I mean, don’t lovers do that to each other? I hear songs with stallions calling their mates ‘pretty mama’ all the time, so that means you have a thing for me!” Flutters explained.

“What?” I asked.

“Does this mean anything to you, Flare?” Flutters asked as she pulled me towards her and gave me a big smooch. I was really, really confused right now and quite uncomfee.

“Interesting.” I nodded. “What’s that supposed to mean though?”

“You’re in love with me, Flare, I know it, and it made me feel the same way to you, but I was too shy to say anything! I thought you shy too. You always come to my house and ask me to comfort you, and saying that I’m the kindest pony you’ve ever met. If that’s not love, I dunno what is!” Flutters explained.

“Ok first off, you’re the Element of Kindness, so of course you’re the kindest pony I’ve ever met, that’s the point. Second, I call you Mama Fluttershy because you’re like a second mom to me. You took care of me when I was sick and sad, and you always comfort me when I need it, and when I need somepony to compliment my poor job at telling a dirty joke at work, you go on and laugh anyway!” I explained.

“So… you never had a crush on me in the first place?” Flutters asked as she started to get all teary eyed.

“You catch on pretty fast.” I said rudely.

“All this time, you thought of me as…. YOUR MOTHER?!” Flutters yelled.

“I’m a mama’s boy, I admit it. I miss her so much and you remind me of her. I have no family in Ponyville other than my friends who I consider my family. Except for Aqua, he’s too quiet and serious.” I explained. Just then, Fluttershy started to chuckle a bit, and after chuckling a bit, she started to chuckle a little harder. “Yeah… lawl… I guess that’s pretty funny.” I started laughing along.

“All this time I thought you had a crush on me, and all this time I was just a second mom to you!” Fluttershy started laughing even harder.

“Lawl, I know! That is so hilarious!” I laughed.

“NO IT IS NOT!” Fluttershy stopped laughing and yelled at me. “I thought we had something?” Fluttershy started to cry and run off.

“Mama Fluttershy? Mama Fluttershy! Come back! I feel stressed now and I need comfort!” I yelled out. “Please come back, Flutters. This isn’t hanging out.”

“This isn’t having fun with my wife.” Blaze said sadly.

“This isn’t a date.” Spike said sadly.

“This isn’t helpin’.” Engie said sadly.

“This isn’t research.” Psyche said sadly.

“This isn’t winning a competition.” Crystal said sadly.

“This isn’t impressin’.” Aqua said sadly.

“This is one of the worst nights I’ve ever had.” the Noble Six and Spike all said at the same time at their own locations.

“Actually.... I think I’ve had worse.” Crystal said.

“I need to cool off!” the Noble Six and Spike all said together, but in different locations.

“Stop jinxing it, brahs! It’s freaky!” I complained. How did I hear them? I have no idea.

A few minutes went by, and I decided to end my night early. I wanted something to ease the pain after I made Fluttershy cry. That wasn’t what I wanted. I went over to a local donut shop and walked inside. Inside, I saw the rest of my gang sitting at a booth nearby. I walked up to them and said upsettingly, “Sup brahs?”

“Hey.” They all said.

“Great night turned bad?” I asked.

“Yep.” They all said.

“Your dates have been a problem?” I asked.

“Yep.” They all said.

“Easing the pain with stuffing your faces in donuts that don’t really help your depression but just help you get diabetes faster?” I asked.

“Yep.” They all said.

“What was your reasons?” I asked.

“Thundy wouldn’t stop putting pepper on his salad. So we never got a chance to start even one round of one competition.” Crystal explained.

“AppleJack kept breakin’ my electronics before the judges got a chance to see them. So… eeyup.” Engie said as he gulped down sound coffee.

“Twilight really wanted to make this date how it is on the book, but it appears we’ve read two different versions of it.” Aqua explained.

“Rainbow is jealous because she wanted to fly with the Wonderbolts too, but she couldn’t, since she’s not a Wonderbolt.” Blaze explained.

“Rarity treated me more like a butler than a date. I was pretty much only there for her own purpose.” Spike explained. “Hey Joe, ‘nother round over here!”

Donut Joe sighs, “Every year, this same dragon.”

“I heard that!” Spike yelled.

“Pinkie was non-stop partying.” Psyche said. “I wouldn’t mind if she kept partying, but did she have to keep me with her? I was tired out, and now I don’t have time to rehearse for my speech. Looks like my research might be all for naught.”

“What ‘bout you, Flare? What happened with Fluttershy?” Engie asked.

“You know, when I first met Fluttershy, I was like, ‘Hey, this is the kindest pony I’ve ever met. She’s like a second mom to me.’ But now I realized she had a crush on me all this time, and she thought I felt the same way. I mean I like Fluttershy, don’t get me wrong. It’s just… I’m not even ready for a relationship right now. I had a bad relationship in the past and I don’t want to feel responsible for breaking the heart of the kindest pony I’ve ever met, as well as other mares in between.” I explained.

“Well… that’s a pretty pathetic excuse. Ah’ve heard much worse than that.” Engie said.

“Engie, shush!” Blaze shushed him.

“Well.... I was just trying to make Pinkie happy by staying with her.” Psyche admitted. “She just tired me out. Now she must be upset because I abandoned her. Probably ruined her fun.”

“AJ was was concerned. She’s not used to mah fancy technology.” Engie said. “Ah’m sure she didn’t mean to destroy mah machines.”

“Maybe Rarity was only trying to save my feelings. She doesn’t want to be my date at the gala because she thinks I’m too good for her. Well phooey! Rarity deserves a charming dragon like myself! She deserves the best of the best!” Spike said.

“I supposed there are other methods of me gettin’ my master’s degree. The gala isn’t about science and research. It’s about havin’ fun and spendin’ time with those ya care about.” Aqua said.

“Yeah, that was pretty much the friendship moral of last year’s gala.” Spike said.

"Maybe I should’ve said no to the Wonderbolts. I should’ve been there for my wife from the start. It was supposed to be a ‘her and me’ night, and nothing should’ve went in my way.” Blaze said.

"I love Thundy, but…. He’s a foolish fool.” Crystal said. “But… he’s my foolish fool……. But he’s still a foolish fool.”

Psyche started crying. "Oh, Psyche. Don't take it too hard." I comforted him. "You're crying, now I'm gonna cry...."

"I'm not crying." Psyche corrected me.

“Sorry, it’s just my phone again.” Crystal said. “Thundy won’t stop calling me.”

“I actually wanted to surprise you. I know how much you like surprises, Crystal.” Thunder said as he stood up from the booth behind us.

“THUNDY?! Whoa! Yes I like surprises, but you scared the living H outta me!” Crystal complained.

“Well, your foolish fool has a little present for you.” Thunder said as he showed Crystal a first place ribbon.

“Wait… a ribbon for the eating contest? B-but… how?” Crystal asked.

“I put in so much pepper in the salad, everypony started choking! I was the only pony left standing so I won.” Thundy said.

“You made all those ponies choke?!” Crystal panicked.

“Relax, I gave them all water as soon as they passed out and they all turned out fine.” Thunder said.

“That’s not ok, Thundy. But… good job for winning for us.” Crystal said as she kissed him.

“Yuck! Am I going to be doing that to Rarity in the future?” Spike complained.

“But I’m not alone.” Thunder said as he pointed to the booth and the rest of the Mane Six were there.

“Surprise!” Pinkie yelled out.

“Oh… umm… girls? We have something to say to you all.” Psyche said.

“As of we. We heard everything, and we forgive you.” Twilight said. “But at the same time, we’re sorry. Sorry for being jealous for you talking to the princess so much. I’m not sure what went over me.”

“Don’t worry, Twilight. I didn’t really get a chance to talk to my mentors either.” Aqua admitted. “And if it makes ya feel any better, I’m goin’ to get my master’s degree either way.”

“Sorry ah kept makin’ you lose your concentration, Engie. Just tryin’ to help.” AppleJack said.

“Also are ya sorry for destroyin’ mah machines?” Engie asked.

“That wasn’t me. That was stallion right here with the… ski mask. What’s his name again?” AppleJack asked as she had with her an all tied up Blue Spy.

“Oh dear, I made quite a mess.” The spy said.

“Well ah’ll be.” Engie nodded. “Looks ya were helpin’ after all. Ah figured that Blue Spy was with us as soon as you saw that duplicate of me.”

“I didn’t mean to get jealous, Blaze. I mean, you’re a Wonderbolt, and I’m not. You have no idea how terrible that sounds.” Rainbow said.

“You’ll be a Wonderbolt soon, Dashie. I promise you that.” Blaze smiled and nodded.

"Psyche, at first I was, GRRRRRR, angry when you walked out.” Pinkie said. "But then I was, WAAAAH, sad after you left. Your research is important, and I should never forget that.”

“Hey, partying is important do, Pinkie. Partying is important too.” Psyche nodded. “I mean, isn’t this supposed to be the best kite ever?

"Night, dude. Not kite." Blaze corrected him.

Psyche gave himself a facehoof and sighed. "Nice job, Flare! You got me confused after we sang that song." he said.

"No problemo, brah! Tongue face.” I teased him.

“Oh and, umm… Flare?” Flutters tried to get my attention.

“Flutters, I hope you can understand that I don’t want to be in a relationship right now. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love you, but you’re like that motherly figure and-“ I explained but Flutters places her hoof on my mouth and just smiled at me.

“I understand completely, son Flare.” She said. I smiled back and I gave her a big hug.

"We're sorry for leavin y’all.” Engie said.

"Don't worry guys. It's cool. Princess Celestia said last year that the gala is supposed to be disaster, and we sure gave each other a good push!” Rainbow said.

"Y’all can forgive us right?" AppleJack asked.

"Of course! What are sixes for?" I asked. “We taught you some friendship lessons, and you taught us. Wow, that’s like…. Eight of us! Has there ever been eight different ponies that all learned a friendship lesson all at once?”

“No, that’s actually pretty new.” Twilight said.

"I believe you all learned a good meaning of friendship tonight." Celestia said, with Luna beside her.

"We sure did, Princess Celestia!" Twilight said. "What we learned tonight is....."

"Luna, we learned that dating is hard, but sometimes...." I said cutting Twilight off, but then she cuts me off.

"Hey, I was going to tell Celestia about our friendship lesson." Twilight said.

"I know, and I'm telling Luna our friendship lesson." I said.

"I write to letters to Princess Celestia every week about friendship." Twilight said.

"And I write letters to Princess Luna every week about friendship, and other random stuff." I said.

"Alright, you can go first if you want." Twilight offered.

"No, after you please?" I offered.

"Okay.” Twilight nodded. “Princess Celestia, what we learned is...."

"NO! I wanna go first actually!” I yelled out.

"Fine, go first." Twilight sighs and said.

"Nah, I changed my mind, you go." I said.

"Make your mind!" Twilight yelled. "As I was saying, what we learned tonight about friendship is, that you can't....."

"WAIT! Keith Pwni poked me!” I said as I took out my phone and pressed the button to poke him back. “You poked Keith! Ok, go ahead, Twlight.”

Twilight groaned. "Princess Celestia...." Twilight quickly turned towards me, then back to Celestia. "What we learned tonight is....." Twilight quickly turned to me again.

"What?" I asked in concern. “I’m done, go ahead!”

Twilight then turned back to Celestia. "Princess Celestia, what we learned tonight is that you can't rely on your own personal feelings to make this the best night ever. If you ever bring somepony with you on a date, make sure you keep them just as happy as you, and not to be so selfish and just do the stuff you want. You both have to be happy, no matter what.”

"Very interesting, Twilight Sparkle!" Celestia said.

"Go ahead, Flare." Twilight said.

"Oh already? I actually didn't think of what to say. You didn't give me enough time." I said.

"If you didn’t interrupt me those times, maybe you would’ve figured it out by now.” Twilight advised me.

"No problemo, I got something else! Less funny though. I was actually gonna make a joke in it, but whatever." I shrugged. "Princess Luna, what we learned tonight is that… umm… actually what Twilight said.”

"A wonderful lesson, Flare Gun!" Luna said. "And thanks for thinking of me tonight. It means alot!"

“Well then, now that we’re all together tonight. How about we all have some donuts? On me!” Spike offered. We all cheered, just until Spike adds, “Flare’s paying though.”

“Oh c’mon, dude! I nearly have enough money for my new shop here in Canterlot!” I complained.

“Hey, no matter what, we all do this together!” Fluttershy said. “The Mane Six and the Noble Six are a great team!”

“A great team than…” I started.

“Than…” Flutters repeated, not knowing what I’m doing.

“Than… c’mon, keep going, say something else.” I instructed her.

“I… I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Flutters said.

“I never seen you do a cutaway gag once… at least not that I remember. I want you to do one.” I requested.

“Oh… umm… I’m sorry, I don’t have one.” Flutters said.

“Here I never did one yet. Can I do one?” Thunder asked.

“Alright! Go ahead Thundy! Tell us one!” Crystal said in excitement.

“Ok but one question.” Thunder started. “What’s a cutaway gag?”

Blaze then sighed. “Ok, how about we just do a group picture and then we do a random gag once everything fades black right after?” he suggested.

“I’ll do it. Everypony squeeze together and say ‘strawberry donuts forever’!” Donut Joe instructed us as he carried a camera.

“Well, for sure, this night has became…” I started.

“THE SO-SOEST NIGHT EVER!” everypony cried out as we all grouped together so Donut Joe can take a picture of us. So we all grouped in on the picture, and of course, Black Thunder had his eyes closed in it, and then the screen fades black. Just then Psyche begins to cry.

“Is that ya’re phone again, Crystal?” Aqua asked.

“No I’m really crying this time.” Psyche said.

“Oh, because this is an adorable moment?” Aqua asked.

“No because the next two chapters are the finale!” Psyche said.

Author's Note

The remake of the older So-Soest Night Ever chapter. What changed in this chapter was that I made Mane Six and Aqua a little more IC, not completely IC, but enough, probably. Also I shortened the ending.

Sweet and Sour Flare - Part 1

The skies were gray over Ponyville. Smoke came out from a couple of houses, and all the ponies in town were going mad. Screaming, throwing objects around, breaking windows. Sugarcube Corner was all boarded up, and the ponies outside were trying to get inside. The Cakes were inside with their babies. Mrs. Cakes was holding the Cake babies while they cried on her.

"Why won't they go away?" Mrs. Cake freaked out.

"The whole towns gone mad! There is no more food!" Mr. Cake said.

"Why couldn't we just leave while we had the chance?" Mrs. Cakes asked with tears on her eyes.

Mr. Cakes gave his wife a hug and he said, "Honey, if this is it, I wanted to let you know that I always...... thought having foals was a terrible idea. Why did we have to have kids?" The Cake babies stopped crying and looked at him angrily, and then they threw their diapers on his face.

Outside, some of the ponies were rioting at town hall. Mayor Mare was in front of city hall, all dirty and dusty and had a messed up mane like everyone else in town. She started to speak. "Please, Ponyville! We must not panic!" she cried. "The shortage of food is nothing to riot about. Let's just make do for what we have!"

"The Cakes at Sugarcube Corner won't let us in!" Cloudchaser cried out.

"Taco Shack has been burned to the ground!" Flitter cried out.

"All the trees in Sweet Apple Acres have died!" Skyblaze cried out.

"There are no more muffins!" Derpy cried out.

"We're all gonna starve at this rate!" Lucky Clover cried out. Just then everypony starts arguing with each other.

The mayor was getting really nervous. "Everypony, please calm down!" she cried. "We must rely on hope. It's not going to help us if we go mad!"

"Wait!" Sea Swirl cried out. "I think the Mayor is hogging all the food in city hall!" All of Ponyville gasped and started ranted at the mayor.

"I am not hogging anything in city hall!" the mayor yelled.

"GET THE MAYOR!" Merry May yelled.

The Mayor was very scared as everypony was starting to angrily attack her, but then the mayor spotted something in the distance. "WAIT, everypony! Look!" The mayor pointed to a limo carriage drive towards city hall. Red Engineer and Aquatic Armor were pulling the carriage. Crystal Iceblast was driving it. She hopped off the carriage limo and opened the door. Blaze Goldheart and Psyche Illusion both walked out of the limo. They were wearing black suits and sunglasses, like they were secret agents.

"Step aside everypony. We know of somepony who can help." Blaze said.

"Please put your hooves together for the leetest, most awesome possum pony in town. Crimson Flare Gun!" Psyche pointed to the limo. He and Blaze moved out of the way, and then I stepped out of the limo, wearing sunglasses. I lowered my sunglasses slightly to reveal my eyes and I start looking at everypony with a mischievous look. Everypony looked at me as I started walking slowly towards the crowd. The crowd all moved out of my way as I walked over to the mayor. The mayor looked at me nervously. I stared at her, and then took off his sunglasses. I turned towards the crowd and smiled.

"L-O-L!" I said. "Sup brahs? This is certainly an emergency situation here. Ex dee, but I have to ask you all a question. Are you all ready for my question because I'm only gonna say this once. Maybe twice if you ask me nicely." I then stomped my hoof on the ground, and then Crystal gave me a bottle of water and I drank it. The crowd just stared at me in concern. I opened my mouth and I was just about to say something, and the crowd paid attention, but all I did was just take out a piece of gum from my vest pocket and place it in my mouth. I started chewing, and I chewed, and then I blew a bubble. Somepony then threw a crumbled piece of paper at me.

"GET ON WITH IT!" the pony complained.

"DON'T RUSH ME!" I yelled. "Kay kay. You all ready for my question? Because I'm only gonna say this...."

"I BELIEVE WE WENT THROUGH THIS! JUST SAY WHAT YOU NEED TO SAY!" the pony yelled.

"My question is....." I was silent for a second, then I smiled. "Smiley face. WHHHHOOOOOO'S HUNGRY?!" The pony folk all cheered for me. Cherry Berry was about to run to me and grab me, but Psyche came in, blocked her way, and tazed her.

"Don't worry, sir. Nopony will touch you while we're around." Psyche said.

“Shut up, Psyche.” I said as I glared at him.

“Very good, sir.” Psyche nodded.

"Excellent work, brah! You deserve a cookie!" I gave Psyche a nice big delicious chocolate chip cookie as a tip.

"Thank you, sir." Psyche said. "I'm also as boring as usual.

"You sure are, my friend! You sure are.” I nodded. I then faced the crowd and yelled, "EVERYPONY FOLLOW ME! TO FLARE'S PIZZA PARLOR!" The ponies all cheered for me and they all began to follow me to my shop. In case anypony was to lay physical contact on me, Blaze and Psyche taze them. Eventually, we all arrived just outside my shop. "Brahs and sistas, you're about to witness what makes my pizza, the best in Equestria!" I turned towards the door, I took out my key, I wiped my key on my vest making sure it was clean enough for the door, I then place the key into the slot, turned it, and took it out. It was the wrong key so I had to start over. I took out another key, wiped it, inserted into the slot and took it out. Wrong key again. I took out yet another key, wiped it on my vest and stopped. “Hang on these are Blaze’s keys. Here you go, man.” I said as I gave them back to him.

“Wait, you’re the one that took my keys?!” Blaze yelled. “I couldn’t leave the house for a whole day because of it!” So I took my actual keys, and I inserted them into the slot. The door unlocks, and everypony begins to gasp. I opened the door, went inside, and everypony began to follow me, until Psyche and Blaze blocked the door.

"Nopony is allowed to see Flare cook." Blaze said.

"Awww." the pony crowd whined.

"But who wants to see how to build a sentry?" Engie asked as he bursts out in front of the crowd with his wrench, and toolbox. “Ok first off, before ya build a sentry, ya need to make sure you’re an engineer class. If you’re the wrong class, you’re goin’ to have a terrible time. Especially if you were a useless class like the soldier.”

Once I walked inside, I called out for my employees - Bon Bon, Lyra, and Derpy. "TEN HUT!" I yelled as two of my employees went into position and saluted. Derpy fell over but she went back up and saluted.

“Wait, wasn’t I just outside?” Derpy asked.

"Soldiers, Ponyville has gone hungry." I started while pasing back and forth. "And it's our duty to give them what they want. With a small price of course. But anyways, it's time to fill in the biggest orders our pizza shop has ever made! As long as the ponies have money in their pockets, I will not stop, I will not rest, I will not play a single second on Skyrim until all those ponies are 100% satisfied! Bon Bon, register!"

“Unless they recently got into a divorce, because then they’d have a really terrible time.” Lyra said.

“BON BON, REGISTER!” I demanded.

"YES, BOSSMAN!” Bonnie yelled as she does a backflip over the counter and then she bucks the register, opening it up and making sure all the money was in there. She then salutes to me again.

"LYRA, COOKING!" I yelled.

"YOU GOT IT!" Lyra yelled as she back flips into the kitchen, rolls around, uses her wicket spy moves to take out all of the ingredients, chop them up with her hooves and they all align nicely on the counter. “I have no idea if that was kung-fu or karate.”

“It was Tae Kwan Do.” Bonnie said.

“I dunno the difference. They all look the same.” Lyra said. “Hey which of those classes allows kicking downstairs?”

"DERPY, ENTERTAINMENT!" I yelled.

"YES, SIR!" Derpy yelled as she does nothing but tilt over and land on her face.

"Excellent work!" I said. “Now, I must take my position!” I then walk into my office, open up the cabinet, and I take a good look at my apron and chef hat. I put them on, grabbed my pizza spatula, and then I start spinning it around and doing tricks with it like it was spear that warriors use in practice. "LET'S DO THIS THANG!" I yelled mischievously. I then take out my walkie talkie and said, "Psyche? Blaze? Let them in! It's time to make pizzas, and chew bubblegum! Also the gum that’s in my mouth has lost its flavor. I’ll need another one.”

"Roger that." Blaze said as he and Psyche move aside and then the pony crowd runs inside and lines up at the register.

“What do I need to do to get some food in my system? Anything!” the pony in the front of the line beggingly asked.

“You just have to answer one question….” Bonnie said as the screen squeezes and smirks to Bonnie’s eyes like in an action movie. “May I take your order?”

Lyra peeks out into the dining room from the kitchen, and she said, "Flare, it's a full house out there!"

"No, it's a full restaurant, get your facts straight, sista!” I reminded her. “Now help me out over here. It’s nelly time!”

“Also didn’t Blaze say you didn't want to be watched cooking, that’s why you wouldn’t let anypony in? Now you allowed everypony in and you haven’t started yet.” Lyra pointed out.

“It’s called savoring the moment, Lyra. It’s also called a common error. Every show has one.” I said. “Now c’mon, Lyra. I need a hand!”

“I wouldn’t even give you one even if I had one.” Lyra teased as she continued working.

So Lyra and I continued cooking in the kitchen, making sure everything's perfect. The ponies outside were waiting. Their tummies were twitching and their eyes were growling…… wait a minute I think I said that backwards. Anyways, Lyra and I were cutting veggies, stirring in pots, sprinkling cheese, spicing it up with some spices, giving it a taste every now and again and using the same spoons we put our mouths in back into the pot without even washing it, and after a few minutes….

"Now for the finishing touches." I said as I take out a pair of tweezers, open up a container and then I carefully put the tweezers inside, and I take out some mushrooms. "Shrooms. Now, we must carefully....." I slowly and carefully moved the mushrooms from the container and careful began to place them on the pizza. Sweat began to pour down my face.

“Careful, Flare. Careful, Flare! Flare, careful!” Lyra started to freak out. “Careful, Flare! Careful, Flare! CAREFUL FLAAAAAAAARE!”

“I CAN’T DO IT WITH YOU YELLING!” I yelled at her. “Also I already did it.”

“Oh… now then. Let’s give the people what they want!” Lyra said.

Just then, I kicked my kitchen door opened. Everypony gasped. I just stood there, glaring at everypony. I then used my unicorn magic to take all the dishes from out of the kitchen. "Order up! Happy face!” I said with a smile. All the dishes Lyra and I made went to all the tables. Everypony cheered and started gobbling up their food.

“WOO! Do the flop!” Derpy yelled out, still lying face first on the floor but she waved her hooves in the air.

So I watched everypony eat. Once they were all finished, everypony burped all at once, and then everything went silent. "So what did you all think?" I asked. Nopony said anything, but then a few seconds later, everypony cheered. They all went up to me to pick me up and cheer. “Please refrain from picking me up. All your hooves are dirty from eating.” I then shook my head. “Ah who am I kidding? At least now I know I’m not that fat.”

"THREE CHEERS FOR THE BEST PIZZA CHEF EVER!" everypony cried. "HIP-HIP! HORRAY! HIP-HIP, HORRAY! HIP-HIP, GOOD MORNING PONYVILLE!"

“What did you brahs say?” I asked.

"GOOD MORNING, PONYVILLE! IT'S TIME TO WAKE UP!" Vinyl Scratch cried out, while standing near the front door.

"Vinyl? What are you talking about?" I asked.

"It's time to get outta bed, everypony because the sun is shining, and we're ready to start a new day!" Vinyl cried out in excitement. Looks like all this time it was all a dream because that moment, I was waking up on my bed and Vinyl was talking through my clock radio. "Time to grab those bits, and I hope you're hungry because my good friend Flare Gun is having a big pizza sale at his pizza parlor in Ponyville. So get on up, and witness the best pizza in Equestria!"

“Aww, I don’t wanna go to Flare’s Pizza Parlor!” I whined. “Five more minutes!”

“This pony is not known for being late.” Vinyl said on the radio.

“Yeah well tell him that.” I said as I closed my eyes.

“FLARE GET YOUR FLANK OUTTA BED!” Vinyl yelled which scared the living… wait why is there something living in side of me? Anyways, I woke up and turned off the radio.

“Ok I’m up! I can’t believe I paid her to yell at me through the radio! Well at least things worked out with her and she has her radio station back, now… why did I need that wake-up call again?” I asked myself. “Now what was it? Oh nevermind, I’m not fooling anyone. Might as well drop the act and be excited.” So I smiled and I jumped out of bed excitedly. “YIPPIE! I feel so happy face right now! It is such a beautiful day outside! Time to make pizzas, and spread the lulz! Because today isn't going to be any ordinary day, I'll tell ya that much, brah!" I then jumped in front of my fish tank and yelled, "HI FISHIES!"

"WHOA!" Rainbow yelled as he bumps his head on the tank flitter. "OW! Does he have to do that?"

"I like it when he does that!" Darrel said excitedly.

"Morning, Darrel, Pearl, Rainbow, Dorthey, Yoyo, and… the fish that chases his reflection! Guess what? I had that dream again, I had the dream that I had to best pizza shop in all of Equestria!” I said. “Oh wait, that’s no dream because it’s true! It’s a simple fact, and anypony’s opinions on that otherwise doesn’t matter! Wow, I sound like a religious guy.”

"Aww man, I’ve always wanted to try some of Flare’s pizza, but then it would free me from this jail and I’d destroy the whole island.” Yoyo said.

"I think that’s Lego Island, Yoyo.” Pearl reminded him.

“What island?” Yoyo asked.

"RAINBOW! RAINBOW!" Darrel yelled out excitedly as he started pushing Rainbow from below him.

"What?" Rainbow sighed and asked.

"GET UP, GET UP! He's about to feed us!" Darrel said excitedly.

"I know, Darrel. I know. I'm already up, so stop-STOP PUSHING ME!" Rainbow yelled. "Dorthey? Help!" Dorthey begins to chase Darrel away from Rainbow.

"Whoa, Dorthey!" Darrel said in an insulted tone as he was swimming away. "Jeez, if you wanted me to move, you could've just asked."

"The great Rainbow needs his space." Dorthey said.

"The 'great' Rainbow? HA! Now that's a laugh." Piddles said excitedly.

"Well he is the leader of the tank, Piddles." Dorthey said. "So how about you go chase your reflection again?"

"It's not a reflection for the last time! It's another fish that's mimicking my every move!" Piddles corrected her. Piddles starts looking at the glass and he sees his reflection again and starts chasing it. "HEY! This is my tank! This tank ain't big enough for the two of us!"

"Alright fishies, time for breakfast!" I said as I sprinkled some of the fish food in the tank.

"FOOD!" Dorthey and Yoyo yelled out in excitement. Dorthey swims up to the top and catches the food, but splashes me in the process.

“EY! Dorthey!” I chuckled. "You know something, brahs? My life here compared to my life in Mareami has been very interesting!” I went over to the lavatory and turned on the shower and stepped inside, but I didn’t continue talking until I stepped in. "I mean, back when I was living in Mareami, I had no friends, except for you guys and the Mare in the Moon and my sister. I've gone to the beach all the time at night to talk to the Mare. Tell her my secrets, some video game walkthroughts, or just to chat.”

“Like the time he talked to her from the bedroom about those weird ‘are you a pony’ captchas every time he registers for a new account on a website.” Yoyo said.

A cutaway shows one of those ‘are you a human’ captchas. You know the ones I’m talking about? You copy a blurry text making sure you’re not a bot? Well this one I’m thinking of says ‘Lord Emomache’. A pony in a tuxedo and a hat, a mustache, and he looked emo looked at the captcha and said, “Oh my dear fellow, is life worth living? I couldn’t possibly care less if the world gets destroyed tomorrow because we’re all just a weak species, my good chap.” The pony then takes out a knife, puts a lemon on his arm, cuts the lemon, and squeezes the lemon in his tea and the scars on his arm, and then he begins to scream in pain and drink his tea. The cutaway ends.

“But other than that, my life was terrible!" I continued as I turned off the shower and dried off. I stepped out, wrapped a towel around my waist (for no apparent reason), then I turned on the blow dryer and began drying my mane. "But after I moved to Ponyville, my life was fine and dandy! I met Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Rarity, AppleJack, Blaze Goldheart, Psyche Illusion, Engineer, Crystal Iceblast, Aquatic Armor....." I continued saying the names of all my friends as I was putting on his blue vest and black sneakers while brushing my teeth, and even when I was eating my breakfast. “Bon Bon, Lyra, Merry May, Celestia, Luna, Big Mac, Cheerilee, Granny Smith, Zecora, the Cakes, Derpy, Keeif, Syebaze, Fitfire…” Yeah you can see that when I said those last three names was when I was brushing my teeth.

"How much longer is he gonna say the names of his friends for the 19th time?" Pearl complained.

"Until the last breath escapes from his happy, jibberish mouth.” Dorthey said.

"And the best part is, I have a great job, a great home, a great life, nothing can ruin my time here! Nothing!" I said. "I even got the Noble Six to keep my company, and let's not forget about how friendly all the pony folk are here, compared to the ones in Mareami. And let's not forget all the singing. I got pretty used to the life around here. I mean, at first I used to wonder what friendship could be..... buuuuuuut…”

“If he says ‘arrow to the knee’ I’m gonna throw a rock at him.” Yoyo said with a rock on his fin.

“But then I really felt like I needed to pee!” I said as I started tingling.

“Close enough.” Yoyo said as he threw the rock at me anyway but missed. “D’OH, I MISSED!”

"Oh, good heavens, would you look at the time!" I said as I looked at my watch that had no numbers on it, but instead had something else – one hour has ‘ripping off classic rock songs’ and the other hour just covered the rest of the clock saying ‘everything else’. Just then, the beginning of Peace of Mine by the group Boston started playing in the background. "Well fishies, I wish I could stay and hang out with those little things that mean everything to me, but I have to get to work!" I put on my satchel and ran to the door and opened it. "And fishies, anything possible, as long as you have a Peace of Mind!" I then walked outside and closed the door behind me.

"Peace of mind? What did he mean about that?" Pearl asked.

"He's about to sing a song on the way to work, duh!" Rainbow said.

"I like to sing!" Darrel said excitedly.

"Don't you start with it." Dorthey complained.

"Well I hope he doesn't come home too late to feed us." Yoyo said.

"HEY, GET BACK HERE! I'M NOT THROUGH WITH YOU YET!" Piddles yelled at his reflection while chasing it.

So I started skipping across town and started singing. "Now if you're feelin kinda low 'bout the dues you've been paying. Future's coming much too sloooow." I then jumped in front of a few ponies in front of a market stall. "And if you wanna run but somehow you just keep on stayin'. Can't decide on which way to goooo-whoa! YEAH YEAH YEAH!" While I said the ‘yeah’ part, my facial expression looked pretty similar to Patrick Star’s ‘leedle-leedle-lee’. "I understand about indecision." While I said 'indecision' the ponies from the market stall sang with him, then started 'Ooooooo'ing while I continued. "But I don't care if I get behind. Ponies livin in competition. All I want is to have my peace of mind." I tapped my forehead with my front right hoof when I said 'mind', but then I started to freak out, "AAAH DIRT ON MY FOREHEAD!” But I didn’t let it bother me too much as I continued the rip-off song, “YEEEAAAH!" I grabbed an apple from a stall with my tail, and ate it. "Whoa, whoa, whoa!" I then spit the apple out into the garbage because I don’t like apples by themselves that much. Besides, I think it was going to choke me if I continued hoping around and singing with it my mouth.

I continued to trot across town with some ponies following me during the song, which made feel a little uncomfortable. Why are they following me? I had to lose them, so I spotted a ladder and started climbing it to the roof. "Now you're climbin to the top of the company ladder, hope it doesn't take too lo-ong." I sang. The ponies following me started climbing the ladder behind me. I gave them an evil look and kicked the ladder down, and it started falling. "Can'tcha you see there'll come a day when it won't matter." I continued as I jumped off the roof and saw them hurt on the ground, and then I gave them some free garlic rolls. "Come a day when you'll be goooone, oooooon." I then trotted away and appeared in the middle of town square with a spotlight over me, along with the pony chorus surrounding me. "I understand about indecision, but I don't care if I get behind. Ponies livin in competition." I sang as pegasi were pushing dark clouds over the sky, leaving the sunlight as a spotlight on me. "All I want is to have my peace of miiiiiii-ind.” I sang while placing one of my hooves around Big Mac, whom was next to me.

"Eeeyup." Big Mac nodded.

I then started running, dancing, and jumping on objects and stalls across towns, because…. That’s what musicals are like. It’s so weird, yet it feels so right. "Take a look ahead!" I sang while I was on top of a stall with my hoof over my eyes. "Take a look ahead! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!" I sang while swinging on a light post. "Ooo!" I cried out like Michael Jackson.

While the instrumental part of the music came on, I felt that I needed to put a stop to this. “Stop following me!” I demanded from everypony who was following me and were my background singers. “It’s creepy and I don’t have any money for you! Go rob Blaze! He’s rich!” So they stopped following me. While the instrumental was continuing, I continued about my business, but when I saw Cheerliee trying to fill a water can with water using her hose, the hose didn't work. Cheerlie was sad, but the Mane Six and the Noble Six taught me too much for me to just walk away, so I went over to her water can and used my water squirter spell to fill the water can right up. Cheerilee smiled at me and waved as I trotted off. As the instrumental continued, I suddenly heard a 'meow' on the tree in front of me, it was Opal, Rarity's cat stuck on the tree. I aimed my horn at Opal, and then I shot a blast from my horn, and Opal started falling. I then caught Opal with my front hooves as I stood on my hind-hooves with my eyes closed, and then I set her down and patted her on the head. As I trotted away, Opal's fur got all spiked up from my laser blast. As I continued trotting to work, I saw Snips and Snails smiling at me, carrying a target.

“Mr. Flare Gun, do the thing!” Snails requested.

“Yeah! Do the giant laser thing!” Snips said.

I normally wouldn’t in case of emergencies, but we’re in an alley and it’s not like I’m going to use it anytime soon. "IMMA FIRIN MAH LAZOR!" I yelled as my horn started to glow, but the hornsaber activated. I shook my head real fast and deactivated it. My horn glowed again, but instead I shot a flare at the target. Snips and Snails just looked at each other, then back at me, like in one of those Old Spice commericals. I then shook my head fast again, but that kinda made me dizzy, but for those little nerdy colts, I had to do this. My horn faced the target, my horn started glowing again, and I was grunting and sweating while trying to get my SHOOP DA WHOOP spell working. Wow, this is a long instrumental. Anyways, I eventually fired my laser on the target, and the target got completely destroyed, and Snips and Snails had black ash all over them from the blast. Then they cheered. “Now that’s what I’m talking about! Praise the Wizards!” I yelled out in excitement. I eventually started back flipping all the way to my shop, which was pretty close by. Lyra was holding the door opened for me. Now I was backflipping all the way to my kitchen. I flipped passed Bonnie who was carrying my apron and hat. I grabbed them as I continued backflipping over to the kitchen where Lyra was holding the door for me. “I switched places.” Lyra said as he smirked at…. you. When I got to the kitchen, I took off the string that was on my back, causing me to blackflip all the way here. What? You think I can actually do those blackflips? I can’t even do a summer-saw!

Just then I continued singing as I was putting a pizza in the oven. "Now everypony's got advice they just keep on givin." I then spun my pizza spatula and then leaned it close to my face, and sang close to it like a microphone. "Doesn't mean too much to me."

Just then, a bunch of ponies popped out of my kitchen at random places including the oven, window, back door, fridge, and even the vent thing on top of the oven, and they all sang, "Lots of ponies out to make-believe they're livin'. Can't decide who they should be. WHOA-OH-OH-OOOOH!"

“HEY! Get out of my kitchen!” I demanded. I then suddenly walked out of the kitchen carrying dishes of food for everypony with my unicorn magic, and placed them on the tables as I continued singing and they were the chorus. "I understand about indecision., but I don't care if I get behind. Ponies livin' in competition. All I want is to have my peace of mind." While I said 'peace of mind', I was holding a pizza shaped like a brain with a sign that said 'pizza mind'. As the customers were eating their food, and I was dancing, spinning, and jumping around I continued. "Take a look ahead!" I sang while pointing to Rose’s head. "Take a look ahead!" I sang while pointing a picture of Princess Luna's head. "Look a-heeeeaaaaaaaaaad!" I sang while holding a plastic pony head as the screen was zooming away from me and my shop as everypony was ‘ooo-ooo’ing.

Just then we quickly zoom back into my shop as Engie was playing an electric guitar and Crystal was on the drums, and I was dancing (in a silly way) on stage. While the ending instrumental of the song was playing, a shockwave of some sort swoops by my shop, but we don’t notice it. At Rarity's shop, Rarity was making a dress. While she was getting more of her thread, the shockwave swoops by her shop and she disappears. Sweetie Belle was actually walking downstairs for some particular reason, but she witnessed Rarity disappeared. She started to freak out. At Sweet Apple Arces, AppleJack just bucked some apples down from a tree and they fell on buckets, and then she kicked another tree, but just as that happened, AppleJack disappears. Apple Bloom saw it happen, so she started running. Over at Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie Pie was putting frosting on a cake, and when Pinkie was about to go get a cherry to put on top of it, she herself disappeared. “Hey where did my identical twin cousin go?” Pinkie asked as she walked back into the kitchen with a cake cutter. Just then, the shockwave reverses back to Sugarcube Corner, drops off the duplicate of Pinkie back into the kitchen, and then takes the real Pinkie and swoops off.

Over at Fluttershy’s cottage, Fluttershy was brushing Angel's hair. Also, do you realize the ending instrumental to Peace of Mind is still going on? It’s going to continue until all of the Mane Six disapp- ooh! No, too early! Spoilers! Anyways, as Angel’s hair was being brushed, his brush landed on top of his head. Angel started rubbing his head and wondering why Fluttershy dropped the brush on his head, but when he looked back, she was gone. Angel's eye twitched and then he fainted. Rainbow Dash and her husband Blaze were flying in the sky really fast, because Blaze owed her a flight after what happened at the gala, but while Blaze had his eyes closed, Rainbow disappeared. Blaze's eyes opened and he didn't see her there. He was really confused, until he saw the shockwave, and he heard Rainbow yell out his name as she was disappearing. At Twilight’s house, she was writing a note and reading a book and doing magic all at the same time (wow and they call me OP). As she was doing that, Spike came in to check on her and she disappeared right in front of him. Spike gasped and dropped all the books he was carrying, which landed on one of his feet and it really hurt him. He started hoping on one foot and rushed out of the library to get some help. The song faded from there (finally).

Alright, this is where the real story begins! Meanwhile over at my shop, I was cleaning up one of the tables. “Ah, nothing like cleaning tables to get the ol arms nice ‘n strong, ey Bonnie?” I asked her.

“Flare, you have no idea what it means to clean a table. Come to think of it, this is the very first time you’ve cleaned a table in months!” Bonnie explained.

“Thanks for the friendly conversation, Bonnie.” I said sarcastically to her.

“Hello, Flare!” Cheerilee said as her and Big Mac walk over to me.

"Hey Cheery! Hey Big M!" I said. “Hey, Big M? Mind if I ask you a question that’ll give me an obvious answer?”

“Eeyup!” Big Mac said.

“Alright thanks! So did you two enjoy your pizza?” I asked.

"Yes we did, thank you! We just wanted thank you for the pizza. It was so good!" Cheerilee said.

"Eeeyup!" Big Mac agreed.

I was shocked. "Surprise face! You thought it was 'good'? I am disappointed."

Cheerilee chuckled a bit. “Ok it was great.”

“It was great?!” I gasped again. “I’m disappointed!”

“Flare just take the compliment.” Cheerilee complained.

“Oh I did! I was just telling you my opinion of it.” I said. “C’mon say it was the best pizza you’ve ever had!”

“No I will not say it because you said so.” Cheerilee said.

”Oh… alright.” I said upsettingly.

“I’ll say it because I mean it! That was the best pizza I’ve ever had!” Cheerilee said excitedly.

“Wow, I did not expect that!” I said excitedly. “I mean, you expect someone they don’t like it, they love it, but what you did… that was original! What a twist!”

“Eeyup!” Big Mac agreed.

"FLARE!" Spike yelled as he busted through the door, and jumped on my face.

"Sup brah?" I asked while he was hanging on my face.

"Twi-Twi-Twi-Twi-Twi-Twi...." Spike went on.

"Alright Spike calm down." I advised him as I gave Spike a gem. "EEEEEEE!" Spike cried in glee. He took the gem and sucked on it.

"A happy dragon, is a stubborn dragon. Lawl!” I teased.

"Ah, now where was I?" Spike asked calmly. "Oh yeah, that's right!" Then Spike started freaking out again. "After Twilight asked me to get some new books from town hall I went home and then Twilight just vanished out of thin air!”

"Are you sure it’s not one of her spells?” Cheerilee asked.

“This didn’t look like any spell I’ve ever seen. I saw a shockwave swoop the library and Twilight vanished! Can you believe it?”

“Maybe your eyes are playing tricks on- wait hold that thought. KEEEEEEEEEEEEEITH!” I waved to my friend Adventure Blade as he walked by.

“Flaaaaaaaaaaaaaare!” he said as he waved at walked by.

“Anyways, Spike, maybe your eyes are playing tricks on you.” I thought.

“No my eyes do not play tricks on me, Flare. I mean except for that one time I thought Ann Colter was hot.” Spike said.

“Just to clarify, Ann Colter is not Ann Coulter. Ponified her is not her, so she shouldn’t get insulted.” Engie said while looking at you, the readers.

"Anyways, Flare, I don’t think you really understand. I SAW Twilight disappear!” Spike said.

"That's nice, brah. Oh, and break time's over. The bathroom needs to be cleaned." I said as I gave him a mop.

“Oh, I didn’t know I still worked here.” Spike said.

"FLARE!" Blaze yelled, bursting into the shop, and jumping on my face.

"You guys really like my face, don't you?" I asked as he got off my face.

"Sorry 'bout that, dude." he said. "I was just flying with Rainbow Dash, and then she just disappeared."

"You too?" Spike asked.

"What do you mean 'you too'?" Blaze asked.

"After I went home to see Twilight, she disappeared!" Spike said.

"No way!" Blaze said in shock.

"Yes way!" Spike said.

Fluttershy's bunny Angel screeched as he busted inside and jumped on my face. "Why is everypony jumping on my face?" I complained.

"Every-'bunny'." Engie corrected me.

"You think that’s funny, Engie? What if I get rabies because Angel is clawing through my face? You’re gonna feel bad…. You jerk.” I said as I used my magic to levitate Angel off my face. "I'm assuming Fluttershy disappeared, right?" Angel nodded. "Of course. How come I'm not surprised? Brahs, I don't know what's your problem, but I don't think they'd just disappear for no reason. Your eyes must be playing tricks on you."

"But I saw a shockwave and Twilight disappeared!” Spike said.

“Really? I saw a shockwave take Rainbow Dash! Well, not really, I had my eyes closed, but I saw the shockwave after Rainbow disappeared.” Blaze said.

Just then, right outside my shop, the shockwave rolls by again, and I heard screaming from inside, and their voices matched the Mane Six. “HOLY WIZARD OF FEELINGS! YOU’RE RIGHT!”

“SEE?! I TOLD YOU! THE ELEMENTS OF HARMONY HAVE BEEN CAPTURED! WE’RE ALL DOOMED! WE’RE ALL DOOOOOOOOMED!” Spike started to spaz out and run around and circles and started making goat noises and donkey noises.

“Is that really what I sound like?” Cranky asked as he sat down on one of the booths, eating his pizza. “Wow no wonder ponies always tease them.”

“I think it’s mules you’re thinking of.” A mule said as he sat across from him. The same exact mule that ponies keep saying ‘no offense’ to. I really wanted to help Spike out, so I ran over to the wall where there was case that said ‘In case of pizza emergency, break glass’. So I broke the glass and I took the pizza and ran over to Spike.

“Eat this.” I instructed him.

“I CAN’T EAT! I’M FREAKING OUT!” Spike yelled as he sucked on the gem I gave him.

“Kay kay then. BLAZE HOLD HIM DOWN!” I yelled as Blaze tackles Spike and holds him down.

“GET OFF ME! I have to run in order to freak out!” Spike yelled. “I’m telling you, this is NOT a good sign! The Elements of Harmony disappeared and-“ before he could finish, I stuffed the pizza in his mouth and he started chewing it. He began to calm down a bit and he swallowed. Blaze released him, hoping he is calm.

“Thanks, Flare.” Spike took a deep breath and said.

“No problemo, brah!” I said.

“How didgya do that?” Engie asked.

“My pizza’s secret recipe has the ability to calm anything down. If a pony is not themselves, eat one of my pizzas and you return to normal!” I said.

“It’s true. It works like a Snickers, but its better tasting and if you have nut allergy, you won’t swell up.” Scootaloo said.

“She’s right.” I said. Just then, Psyche, Crystal, and Aqua had inside my shop.

“What’s goin’ go here?” Aqua asked.

“Yeah we heard screaming after we saw a shockwave. What is going on here?” Psyche asked.

“Also, wasn’t I here playing the drums before? Why did I just walk into the door with Aqua and Psyche?” Crystal asked.

"The Mane Six are…. They’re missing!” Blaze said.

"Whoa.” Aqua said surprisingly. “That doesn’t sound good.”

“That doesn’t sound- IS THAT ALL YOU GOT?!” Crystal yelled at Aqua.

“What?” Aqua asked.

“Why are you so calm?!” Crystal yelled.

“Is it necessary to panic?” Aqua asked.

“No it is not. Don’t worry, Aqua. You’re fine.” Blaze said.

“Ah can’t believe this. Why would the Mane Six disappear?” Engie asked.

“They hold the Elements of Harmony. If they’re gone, that means somethin’ big is about to happen.” Aqua said.

"Like what if a giant kraken attacks?” Crystal asked.

“What makes you think the Elements can stop a kraken?” Psyche asked.

“I dunno, but if I do die from a kraken, it would be an awesome death, because the last words I would hear would be ‘RELEASE THE KRAKEN’!” Crystal said.

“I think we should go report this to the princesses.” Aqua said.

“What makes you think they’ll be in any help?” Crystal asked. “They have the power to protect us, and yet they sit on their lazy bums all day and let the Mane Six do all the work.”

“Ok first off: rude, second: they may have information. If they can’t help us, I guess we will.” Aqua said.

“Of course! We’re the Noble Six! We’re the backups to the Mane Six! Time to put our titles to the test!” I said.

“SCOOTALOO! We’ve been looking everywhere for you!” Apple Bloom said as her and Sweetie Belle ran over to Scootaloo.

“Lemme guess. Sister’s gone missing?” Scoots asked.

“Rats, how did you know?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“Magic.” Scoots said.

“No, Scoots, you should say it like the way Mr. Bean does it. Magic.” I said as I snorted twice.

“So mah sister’s gone missin’ and ah guess we have to find out why.” Apple Bloom said.

“Yeah, my sister too!” Sweetie Belle said.

“And mine!” Scoots said.

“You don’t have a sister.” Apple Bloom corrected her.

“Rainbow Dash is my sister.” Scoots said.

“No she’s not.” Apple Bloom corrected her.

“We’re sisters at heart!” Scoots said.

“No you’re not. You’re not even close to related.” Apple Bloom said.

“How would you know that?!” Scoots asked angrily.

“Girls, stop arguing! All of sisters are missing and we have to do something!” Sweetie Belle said.

“And we’re going to report it to the princesses. Maybe y’all can tag along!” Engie offered.

“The princesses?!” the CMCs all gasped in amazement.

“We never get to see them!” Sweetie Belle said.

“Well, this is your chance to, girls!” Blaze said. “You witnessed a disappearance, and that’s the best time to meet up with the princesses!”

“Or the police, we can try them.” Engie said.

“Nope. These are the Mane Six we’re talking about. Only the princesses might be able to help.” Blaze said.

“Then it’s high-time we went to Canterlot then.” Psyche said.

"Kay kay. TO THE FLAREMOBILE!" I yelled as I jumped onto a taxi. "TO CANTERLOT!" The Taxi pony started pulling the carriage really fast with me inside and we both started riding over to Canterlot.

"HELLO?! YOU FORGOT US!" Psyche yelled.

"We'll just take the train." Aqua said.

"Aw but Flare already took the carriage to there.” Sweetie Belle whined.

“Uhh, the trainstation is right down there.” Aqua pointed down the street.

“C’MON, BRAHS! THE TRAIN IS HERE!” I called out from the station. “ALSO YOU MIGHT WANNA BRING SOME GAS MASKS! WE’RE TAKING THAT EXTRA STEAMY TRAIN!”

“Pollution. What can ya do?” Aqua asked.

“OH NEVERMIND! IT’S NOT THAT KIND OF STEAM! DON’T BRING A GAS MASK, BRING A KEYBOARD AND A MOUSE!” I yelled. “WAIT, IS THAT COMPANION CUBE ON THE TRAIN?!”

Meanwhile, at Canterlot castle. Princess Celestia was pacing back and forth in fright, thinking of what to do next. Just then, the Noble Six, Spike, and the Cutie Mark Crusaders all burst inside the castle and run up to the throne room. “Your highness! We have dire news!” Blaze yelled.

“Also sorry we didn’t knock. SOME OF US didn’t want to wait!” Crystal said as she glared at Blaze.

“Thank you, thank all of you for coming, and I know. The six ponies who held the Elements of Harmony has disappeared.” Celestia said.

“Wow she’s good.” Engie said. “She really knows how to get things done fast…….. that’s what she said!”

"I’m glad you’re here, Noble Six.” Celestia admitted. “I think it’s about time the Mane Six’s backups

"Wait! Hold on!" I said.

"What's wrong?" Aqua asked.

"Is something wrong, Flare Gun?" Celestia asked. I just stood there, glaring at Celestia and tapping one of my front hooves. “Oh… LUNA! VISITORS!”

"Thank you, your highness." I said.

“Wow she really is good! She read Flare’s mind!” Engie said.

“Actually it’s kinda obvious, Engie.” Psyche corrected him.

"Yes, sister?" Luna asked as she walked into the room. She saw the others. "Oh Greetings, Noble Six, young fillies! It's a good thing you're here!" she said.

"Hi Luna!" I said as I waved at her.

“This is so awesome! Maybe we should get our cutie marks in reporting things to the princess!” Sweetie Belle whispered.

"Your majesties.” Aqua started. “It was an average day in Ponyville. I was just cleanin’ up Ponyville lake, when suddenly-“

“BORING!” Crystal yelled. “You talk to slow, Aqua. Let me handle this.” Crystal cleared her throat and said to the princesses, “I was-“

“Wow, and you say Aqua’s too slow.” Engie interrupted.

“You didn’t even give me a chance!” Crystal complained.

“Look, there was a shockwave in Ponyville, and before we knew it, the Mane Six disappeared.” Blaze said.

“I know.” Celestia said.

“Wow, she knew! We didn’t even have to come here!” Engie complained. “Paid 9 whole bits for that train ticket!”

“Oh no, Engineer. You all coming here is perfect.” Celestia said. “With the Mane Six gone, you’re the only ones that can rescue them now.”

“Us?” Psyche asked.

“No she means, the crusaders.” Engie said sarcastically.

“US?!” the CMCs all gasped.

“Ah was bein’ sarcastic.” Engie said.

“Oh don’t do that, Engie! I can’t tell the difference!” I complained.

"I was afraid of this day.” Celestia said. “My humble student, Twilight Sparkle, and her friends got ponynapped from an unknown source. It scares me very."

"Sure scared the life outta Spike here.” I teased.

"I saw Twilight disappear right in front of me!" Spike said. “You’d freak out too!”

"Yeah, I saw the same thing happen to Rainbow Dash.” Blaze said.

Celestia sighed. "It's troubling to see those who hold the Elements of Harmony get ponynapped." she said. "I don't know where else to turn, but I don't seem to have much of a choice. Noble Six, we need you."

"AWWWW YEAH!" I yelled in excitement as I jumped up in the air. I just hung frozen in that pose I did in the air. The other's just looked at me.

"Are you quite finished?" Psyche asked.

"Just 5 more seconds." I said. After 5 seconds, I went back down. "There we go! Lion face."

"How did you do that?" Crystal asked.

"Logic don't matter 'round here, Crystal." Engie said.

"It's great that we finally got our first major quest.” Aqua said. "What do we have to do, your highness?"

“The shockwave you saw isn’t any ordinary shockwave. It doesn’t come from any magic. It’s technology.” Celestia said. Just then, Celestia uses her magic to create a holographic image of some sort of cannon. “This device, made by an unknown source, creates immersive shockwaves that can capture a particular type of magic. This cannon was created to capture a representative to an element of friendship. In short, the shockwave can only effect those who hold the Elements of Harmony, and everypony else would just get an ear ache.”

“I was wondering why my ears were popping.” Spike said as stuck one of his fingers in one of his ears.

“We have located the source of the cannon, however. It is located at a place called Chaos Mountains.” Luna said.

"Chaos Mountains, huh?" Blaze asked.

"Ah've had a match over there one time." Engie said.

"Chaos Mountains is a mysterious mountain, located at the peak of the Everfree Forest." Celestia said. "It used to be a citadel for our chaos lord, Discord. Until it was shortly abandoned after Luna and I used the elements on him.”

"But it's not abandoned anymore it would seem." Aqua said.

"We also have.... other news." Celestia said. Just then, Princess Cadance bursts right into the throne room and ran to Celestia, crying.

"Princess Cadance! What's wrong?" Celestia asked.

"MY HUSBAND'S GONE!" Cadance cried.

"WHAT?!" Celestia and Luna gasped at the same time.

"You mean Shining Armor?" Sweeite Belle asked.

"No, she means the Ice King. Who do you think?" Scootaloo asked sarcastically.

"Well excuse me for wondering." Sweetie Belle said.

"My Shining Armor has disappeared!" Cadance cried as she started taking deep breaths.

"There there, Cadance." Aqua said as she patted her on the back.

"That's not all. Half of our royal guards have gone missing too." Luna said.

"Yeah, mine too." Cadance said.

"What's with all the missin ponies?" Engie asked.

"This plot really means business!" Blaze said.

"Don't worry, Celestia and Luna. We shall bring dem back, and save the day!" Engie said.

"Thank you, Red Engineer." Celestia said.

“This right ‘ere is trippier than a pony with a cup.” Apple Bloom said.

A cutaway shows a pony holding a cup and asking another pony, “Excuse me, sir? Can you something to fill my cup?”

“Sure!” the other pony said as he takes a bit out of his pocket and inserts the bit inside the cup.

“God bless yee, sir.” The pony with the cup said.

“No problem! I love helping the homeless!” the giver pony said.

“Oh, I’m not homeless.” The pony with the cup said. “I’m just really thirsty.” The pony with the cup then drinks the coin out of his cup. “Ahhh, refreshing.” The cutaway ends.

"Please follow me.” Luna instructed us. “I have some supplies and some other stuff to give you for your trip.” Everypony followed Luna to the Royal Guard barracks. It was nearly empty in there. "Many of our guards have also disappeared. Not all of them though, and without our captain, it doesn't seem the guards know exactly what to do." She said.

"What could whoever who this weapon want with the Mane Six, Shining Armor, and half of the royal guards from Equestria?” Psyche asked.

"I too am also missing some guards." Luna said.

"Yeah, it doesn't seem to surprise us." Engie said.

"Whoa, this is so cool!" Apple Bloom said, while looking around the guard barracks. "Maybe ah should be a royal guard."

"Like you have the guts." Scootaloo teased.

"Yeah good point." Apple Bloom agreed. "Wait, WHAT?!"

"I wanna try some armor on." Sweetie Belle said as she goes through a trunk and puts on a guard helmet. "How do I look?"

"Like Sweetie Belle with a guard helmet on." Apple Bloom teased and chuckled. Scootaloo picks up a mace and swirls it around.

"Wow! This thing's so cool!" Scootaloo said.

"Careful with that thing, Scoots!" Sweetie Belle advised her.

"What's gonna happen?" Scootaloo asked not caring. She swings the mace on a Royal Guard statue and then it falls on another statue, and it falls on another statue, and keeps going on like dominos. "Oops." she said.

"Y’all are so busted!" Apple Bloom said mischievously.

Luna opened the doors to the supply room and turned on the lights. The supply room was full of food, maps, and books. "Wow! This is so cool!" Crystal said. “I mean, it would be cool if we were going camping, but we’re not. So this place seems uncool at this moment.”

"Ah might be able to build a transformer outta all these supplies!" Engie said.

"Take whatever food you might need for your journey." Luna said. "The map to Chaos Mountains is right here." Luna used her magic to give Psyche the map.

"This doesn't seem to be a dangerous route." Psyche said as he observed the map. "We'll get through this, no problem!"

"Woops, that's the old map. Hang on." Luna said as she used her magic to take back the map Psyche had and gave him a new map. "This is the present map."

Psyche was in shock. "Yeah.... that's a pretty dangerous route." he said.

Engie and Crystal were gathering lots of boxes of food. "This will be enough to feed us for weeks!"

"But it's only a six hour hike." Psyche said as he looked at the map.

"So? The more food we have the better!" Engie said.

"Just put a couple of cans in your satchels." Psyche advised him.

Engie sighed. "Fine."

"Always ruining the fun for us, Psyche." Crystal complained.

"Thank you, Princess Luna. We promise we won't fail you.” Aqua promised.

"Isn't this great brahs? We're going on our first major adventure! We're gonna be heroes! PRAISE THE WIZARDS!" I yelled.

"Wait, Flare Gun. I have something that might interest you." Luna said.

"Is it a winning lotto ticket?" I asked.

"Uhh… no. I wouldn’t even give you one even if I had one.” Luna said.

"Barnacles! Tarter sauce!” I ranted.

"I have a couple of new spells for you. Just in case." Luna said as took out some magic books.

"That works too! Kay, what do you have in stock for me?" I asked.

“Well, you can only cast video game-like spells, and I think I found some in these old books that may match that descrtiption.” Luna opens the book and shows it to me. "The Rail-spell. You can fire a force-pushing beam."

"Similar to my laser blast spell?” I asked.

"Yeah, except it has more strength, and it burns less. Think of it as a railgun but without it blowing you to gibs." Luna said.

“Ah didn’t know you were into video games too, Luna?” Engie said.

“I did play Words with Friends with you in the past, did I not?” Luna asked.

“Ok, umm…” I read the spell book. “From future and space, there is no doubt. You’re about to find a forceful way out. A big blast of rail is exactly you need, without it harming too much of other folk’s well-being.” As I was saying the spell, my horn began to glow. “Whoa! Engie, hold still.”

"No, yer not gonna fire at me with that spell!" Engie freaked out. "DON'T YA'LL DARE DO IT!" I then released the rail-blast spell from my horn, and I blasted the can of beans out of Engie’s hoof. "Oh. Why didn't ya tell me ya were firin’ the can of beans?"

"You didn't ask.” I teased.

"Good point. Good aim too." Engie said.

"Yeah, that was a great spell, mate. Pretty effective." Aqua said.

"Thanks, Aqua!" I said. "And thank you Luna! I less then three the Rail-blast Spell!"

“You deserve a jelly-baby for that, Flare!” Psyche said as offered me a jelly-baby.

“Yay! Jelly-baby!” I said excitedly as I was about to levitate the jelly-baby out of his hoof and into my mouth, but instead, I accidently triggered my rail-blast again and knocked the baby out of his hoof.

“You only get one.” Psyche said.

“Hey I’m not afraid of eating off the floor!” I said as I looked over at the jelly-baby and was about to levitate it off the ground, but I used the rail-blast again to push it farther. “As much as I less than three this spell, it seems a little too effective.”

"Well, if you love that spell, you'll fall for this next spell!" Luna said as she turns the pages of the spell book with her magic.

As Luna was turning the pages, Crystal was a bit curious, so she places her hoof on the book, but she quickly takes out and yelled, “OW! PAPERCUT!” she begins sucking her hoof.

“Oh c’mon! I just retired sucking my claw not too long ago!” Spike complained. “Don’t be such a show-off, Crystal!”

“Here it is!” Luna said as she levitates the book over to me. My eye pupils grow wide as I read it. “Surprised face! NO WAY! Holy Wizard of Feelings! Is my eyes playing tricks on me or something?!”

“I know mine aren’t.” Spike said.

"That's right, Flare Gun!" Luna nodded. "The Armor Lock spell!"

"NO WAY! I've always wanted to know that spell!" I cried out in excitement. “I’ve been searching for it for a very long time, but I was unsuccessful… until now! This is a dream come true! I must be in Disneyland!”

"Armor lock, huh? Like from Halo." Blaze said.

"Go on, Flare! Give that spell a try.” Aqua said.

"You have to duck down though and you won't be able to move, but you'll be completely invulnerable for a short-amount of time." Luna said. “But not too long. I know how much you don’t want to be OP.”

“FORGET OP! This is awesome!” I yelled in excitement. “From a game of great ratings, you will indeed mock, so just shut your mouth, and begin to armor lock!” I read the spell as I crouched down and my armor lock activates.

“Whoa!” Engie said shockingly. “Should’ve called dibs on bein’ a unicorn!”

“Oh snap!” Crystal said shockingly.

“Let’s test it out. Hold still, Flare!” Blaze advised me as he used his draconian firebreath on me.

"Didn't even feel the heat!" I said as my armor lock wears off. “That was amazing! I’m sorry, Shoop Da Whoop, but this is the best spell I’ve ever had!

"Wait, you breathe fire?” Crystal asked Blaze.

"I told you guys, I'm a draconian! I’m half-dragon, which means firebreath!” Blaze said.

"NO WAY!" Crystal cried out in excitement.

"Yes way!" Blaze said.

"That is so cool!" Spike said.

"You know what else is cool?” I asked as I activated my armor lock spell. “I HAVE ARMOR LOCK NOW! WOOOOO HOOOO! I sounded like Pitbull when I said that.”

"Okay, we've been through that, Flare." Psyche said.

"But this is so cool, Psyche!" I said as my spell wears off. "I've always wanted this spell! Try to touch me? Oh, nope!" I activated the spell again. "Because I have armor lock!" I deactivated the spell again. "You gonna fire that rocket at me? It ain't gonna harm me!" I activated the spell yet again. "'Cause I have armor lock, baby!" I deactivated his spell again. Some of my friends shook their heads, and some were facehoofing, and some were giggling. "You gonna try to punch me in the face, or kick me in the plot? Nope! Can't has. Know why?" I activated his spell again. "Because I have learned armor lock!"

"Okay, Flare. We get it!" Psyche said excitedly.

"Wait, I got one more!" I said as I deactivated the spell. "Hey why you trying to push me? I dare you to push me again, brah!" Just then, Engie pushes me and I fall over before I was able to use the spell. “Dang it, Engie! You didn’t let me finish!”

"Red Engineer, Crystal Iceblast, Blaze Goldheart, Psyche Illusion, Aquatic Armor, and Crimson Flare Gun...." Luna started.

"Why am I always last?" I complained.

"The fate of Equestria rests on your hooves!" Luna said.

"The fate of Equestria? I didn't know losing the Mane Six was this much of a big deal!" Aqua said.

"If those who hold the Elements of Harmony are captured, then any powerful being can attack Equestria! You must find them and bring them back. I dub thee good luck to you all!" Luna said.

"This seems trippy." Spike said.

"I'm sure you'll all be fine." Luna said. "Good luck!"

"Alright guys! Let's go!" Blaze said as he holds his hoof out. "With courage...."

"With dignity...." Psyche said, holding his hoof on top of Blaze's.

"With kicking plot...." Crystal said, holding her hoof on top of Psyche's.

"With hope..." Aqua said, holding his hoof on top of Crystal's.

"With our heavy hearts...." Engie said, holding his hoof on top of Aqua's.

"And spreading the lulz...." I said, holding his hoof on top of Engie's.

"We'll be.... UNSTOPPABLE!" Blaze yelled out.

"UNSTOPPABLE!" they all cried out, and holding their hooves in the air.

“OW! Why did ah have to put my hoof in the air that fast?!” Engie yelled as he held his arm in pain. “Ahhhh!”

“Heh, wimp.” Crystal chuckled.

Just then, we all ran back to the to the guard barrack and about to head out, but we saw that the room a mess. We all then looked over at the crusaders who were standing there with guard armor on. The three crusaders let out an embarrassing smile, and a squee.

"If we had the time to deal with this, and if we cared, then the three of you would be in big trouble." Psyche said.

"She did it!" the three cried out, pointing to eachother.

The Noble Six then all ran out of the castle, with Spike on my back, Apple Bloom on Psyche's back, Scootaloo on Blaze's back, and Sweetie Belle on Crystal's back. Princesses Celestia and Cadance watched us run off from the castle towers. Luna then joined them.

"Good luck, Noble Six." Celestia said.

"Stay safe, and bring my husband back unharmed!" Cadance said. “Also, if they can, make sure he has his wedding ring on still. I’d hate to see him lose it.”

“You don’t even wear yours.” Celestia reminded her.

A couple of hours later, back in Ponyville, I was in his trailer with my fish. "Alright guys. I left the auto feeder for you. You guys should be fine while I'm gone."

"Not unless Yoyo eats all the food." Piddles teased.

"Oh, ha ha. Very funny, Piddles." Yoyo said sarcastically.

"I dunno how long I'll be gone for. I wish to stay with you guys, but my friends and I have a job to do." I said as I put on my satchel. "Remember when I said today wasn't gonna be any ordinary day? Lawl remember fishies?"

"He's gotta stop doing that." Rainbow commented.

"I was correct. This day wasn't gonna be any ordinary day." I said. "Because it's time for the Noble Six to officially rise to what they were made for! We're going to Chaos Mountains and rescue the Mane Six, Shining Armor, and.... those other guards that aren't worth mentioning.” I opened my door. "I'll leave the trailer secured. I less then three you guys so much, and don't worry! I'll be back, I promise!" I then turned on my security in my trailer, closed his door, and locked it.

"Goodbye Flare." all the fish said at the same time.

"Well the coast is clear!" Dorthey said excitedly. "For at least two days, we'll have the whole trailer to ourselves!"

"But we can't leave the tank, remember?" Pearl reminded her.

"Lawl remember Dorthey?" Darrel teased.

"Oh no! Don't you start doing it!" Dorthey demanded.

When I got outside, I walked over towards Bon Bon and Lyra who were waiting for me outside. "Good luck on your quest, Flare!" Lyra said as she gave me a hug.

"Be very careful!" Bonnie said as she also gave me a hug.

"I'll be fine. Just take care of the shop while we're gone." I said. “Also, this isn’t a quest, it’s a mission. There’s a complete difference to that.”

"So which one of us is in charge?" Bonnie asked.

"It's obviously gonna be me!" Lyra said.

"I can't choose between you two, so you're both in charge, kay? Kay." I said. "But just do what you always do. Stay on task, and stay away from my safe!"

"Don't worry, Flare! It'll be like you never left.” Bonnie said.

"Except that you did." Lyra said.

Meanwhile, Psyche was putting his satchel on, and Derpy put a couple of muffins in it for him. "A little something for the trip, Psyche." She said.

"Thank you, Derpy. You're a great friend! Watch my house; make sure nopony steals my supplies, and make sure you don't break them." Psyche requested.

Derpy gives Psyche a big hug. "Don't worry, Psyche. You can count on me!" she said. “Except on doing anything wrong because then I won’t know.”

"I don't know how long I'll be gone for. So I don't think I'll make it to this week's Nashorse race." Blaze said to Spitfire.

"Don't sweat it, Blaze." Spitfire said while tapping his shoulder. "I was gonna play a prank on you in that race, but eh... luckily you had this quest to do."

Blaze play punched her shoulder. "Shut up!" he said to her playfully. Spitfire play punched him back, then Blaze play punched her again, then Spitfire punched him, but hard. "OW!" he yelled.

"Oh, woops. Sorry, Blaze. Just make sure you get Rainbow Dash back. I can’t have her go missing forever without being an official Wonderbolt.” Spitfire said.

"I think you broke my shoulder! OW!" Blaze whined.

"Oh don’t be such a baby, Blaze.” Spitfire teased.

Just then Blaze smiled at her. "Just kidding!" he said.

"Oh, Blaze!" she said, punching him in the shoulder again.

"OW! That one actually hurt!" Blaze yelled.

Just then, the crusaders were all walking towards the Noble Six, carrying satchels. "Apple Bloom!" she said saluting.

"Sweetie Belle." she said, saluting.

"And Scootaloo!" she said, saluting.

"Reporting for duty, Noble Six!" they said at the same time.

"What's going on?" Aqua asked.

"We're coming with you guys, right?" Apple Bloom asked.

"Oh.... uhh.... sorry girls. This trip is too dangerous for little fillies like you." I said. “Not that I’m being ageist or anything.”

"WHAT?!" they all said at the same time.

"That's not fair! Spike's going!" Sweetie Belle complained.

"Spike's a dragon, he can take care of himself." Engie said..

"But we can help kick plot! We've been practicing! You'll see!" Scootaloo begged.

"Look, did your parents say you could?" Blaze asked.

"Rarity's captured, and my parents are on vacation. There's nopony around to watch over me." Sweetie Belle said as she smiled.

"Big Mac and Granny Smith said it was ok as long as it’s ok with you.” Apple Bloom said.

"Look, this job is too dangerous for you. The princesses hired us to do this." Aqua said.

“Hired…. as if we’re going to get paid for it.” Crystal rolled her eyes said.

"But... but...." the Crusaders stuttered.

"No buts. Now the three of you, stay here where's it safe." Blaze ordered them.

"We'll give ya'll some souvenirs! How 'bout that?" Engie suggested.

"No, forget it." said Apple Bloom angrily.

"And just as we thought you guys were cool." said Scootaloo angrily. The three of them then walked away angrily.

"They don't look too happy." Crystal said.

"Well this job is not a job for three young fillies that are still trying to earn their cutie marks to attend in this mission. They'll just slow us down, and they might whine, or mess up anyway." Psyche said. “We’re probably going to be carrying them 3 ¾ of the way anyway!”

"And Spike doesn't?" Crystal asked.

"Hey I don't whine! I'm old enough, and strong enough to take care of myself!" Spike whined.

"C'mon partners! Time's a-wastin!" Engie said.

"Alright! Let's go Noble Six! To Chaos Mountain!" I yelled as the six of us started running towards the Everfree Forest, but after a while we got tired. We all stopped to catch our breath. “Wow. This is hard work!” I said as we were just 4 yards away from where we started.

“C’mon, let’s not be wimps!” Blaze said. “We have to rescue the Mane Six as fast as we can, before chaos breaks lose in Equestria!”

“We can always just walk.” Aqua suggested.

“Ok.” Blaze agreed as we all began to walk.

So as the seven of us began walking to the forest, the crusaders followed us without us knowing. "C'mon, let's go!" Scootaloo said.

"Wait, in there?" Apple Bloom asked as she pointed to the forest.

"Where else?" Scootaloo asked. "There's nothing to do here without Rainbow Dash around.”

"But Flare said we hafta stay here, where's it safe." Apple Bloom said.

"They all said that. We're old enough to take care of ourselves! Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and AppleJack are up in that mountain, and they need our help!" Scootaloo said.

"But we'll be in trouble, and what if we get hurt?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Look, this is also a chance to get our cutie marks, and prove to the Noble Six that we can take care of ourselves!" Scootaloo said. "Now you girls with me, or not?"

"You got it, Scootaloo!" Apple Bloom said excitedly. "For our cutie marks, and proving that the Cutie Mark Crusaders are the best there is!"

"You girls sure about this?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"If you want, you can stay, all alone.... with Twist." Scootaloo said while she and Apple Bloom start walking into the forest. Sweetie Belle turns around and sees Twist waving at her.

"Girls, wait up!" Sweetie Belle yelled while running into the forest along with them.

So the Noble Six are walking through the Everfree Forest. Crystal was telling a classical joke to us. “So a human walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, ‘why the short face’?”

“HA! I get it!” Blaze laughed.

“I know! Old but gold right?” Crystal asked.

“Yep!” Blaze agreed.

“You know what else is old but gold?” I asked.

“Oh jeez.” Psyche facehooved himself.

“ARMOR LOCK!” I cried out as I used my armor lock spell again. "Oh yeah, I'm unstoppable. You know why? Because I have armor lock!" I said while I kept turning on and off my spell. "Go ahead liger, you wanna attack!? I dare you to attack a leet pony that has armor lock! Oh look out, a butterfly! Better not touch me because I'm activating armor lock! Armor lock! Armor lock! Armor lock! Armor lock! Armor lock! Armor lock! Armor lock!"

"ALRIGHT, WE GET IT! WE KNOW YOU HAVE ARMOR LOCK! JUST SHUT UP!" Psyche yelled.

"You jealous bro?" I asked.

"Not really." Psyche said.

"Ah think Crystal is though." Engie said.

"AM NOT!" Crystal yelled with tears on her eyes. "I'm not jealous. Not at all. It's just....."

"Yeah she's jealous." Engie said with a chuckle.

"SHUT IT, ENGIE!" Crystal yelled at him. Engie just kept laughing.

Spike goes through Blaze's satchel, taking out some of his cans and throws them aside while saying, "No, no, no, no, no, no, no..... Wait, what's this?" Spike finds a sapphire, and takes it out. "Oh yeah, that's what I'm talking about! I should hang with you more often Blaze. It seems you eat gems too!"

"Of course I do, Spike." Blaze said. "I am part dragon after all, so I must...." Blaze had a concerned look on his face shortly after. "HEY! Quit going through my satchel!"

"But I'm hungry." Spike whined.

"Yeah me too." Aqua said. “I’m pretty much as hungry as Spike after-“

“Oh don’t you dare do a false cutaway gag on me while I’m here!” Spike demanded.

Aqua uses his unicorn magic to take out a bag of chips. Aqua licks his lips, and opens the bag. Just as he was about to eat his chips, his chips started floating out of the bag and into my mouth. Yep, that’s right! I used my magic to steal Aqua's chips. Aqua looked in his bag in shock. "Hey, where did my chips go?"

"Yummy! Even though I prefer salt and viniger." I said.

"Flare did you steal my chips?" Aqua asked.

"No, I borrowed them. You'll have them back next time I go to the bathroom. LAWL!” I teased.

"Eeck! Forget I asked." Aqua said disgustedly.

"No way! You had chips?" Spike asked Aqua.

"Yeah, but they were mine." Aqua said.

"I have some Pringles if you want some Spike." I offered.

"I don't trust riding on you. I think you're gonna do armor lock while I'm on your back." Spike said.

"I promise not to activate armor lock while you're on my back." I promised.

"Alright, you pinkie promise?" Spike asked.

"Cross my heart, hope to fly. Stick a cupcake in my eye." I said while putting a garlic roll on his eye.

"That's a garlic roll, partner. Not a cupcake." Engie corrected me.

"I figured. This is really starting to burn my eye.” I said.

"Alright, here I come, dude." Spike said. Just as Spike jumped on my back. I activated armor lock.

"ARMOR LOCK!" I yelled as Spike bounced off my back and he fell down.

"DUDE! You pinkie promised!" Spike complained.

"You weren't on my back yet. Herp-derp!" I corrected him. "I activated armor lock before you came on my back, dum dum.”

Spike got up, and bounced on Psyche's back. "I sometimes wonder what's in that head of yours, Flare." Spike commented.

"You and me both, dude.” Psyche said.

"Wait guys. Stop." Aqua said as we all stopped at a cliff edge, with a broken bridge.

"Great! That's just great!" Blaze complained.

"What are you complaining about? You, Crystal, and Psyche have wings." Aqua pointed out.

"But what about Engineer, you, and Flare?" Blaze asked.

"Why do you keep putting me last?" I complained.

"Can't you guys carry us?" Aqua asked.

"I'm not that strong, Aqua." Psyche said.

"Me neither." Crystal said.

"And I can only carry one pony. I can't carry all three of you." Blaze informed us.

"Why couldn't we get transportation from Princess Celestia?" Crystal complained.

"Or Luna, don't forget Luna." I said.

"Because we just rushed out of the castle, thinking we can handle any obstacle in our path, why didn't we think about this sooner?" Psyche complained.

"Well, we gotta think of something." Blaze said.

“Can we find a way around?” Aqua asked.

Psyche takes out the map and observes it. “Sure, if you want to add 4 more hours of our walk. This cliff goes on for miles.”

“We have no time for that. We have to find a way across.” Blaze said. “I swear this is going to be more difficult than making a Godzilla movie.”

A cutaway shows a Japanese producer talking to the mayor of Tokyo. “Ok, so we need to borrow Tokyo again for this Godzilla sequel.” A Japanese producer said to the mayor of Tokyo. “We need to summon a monster in this city, make it destroy everything, and put the citizen’s lives at risk for other’s entertainment.”

“Ok, but be sure you rebuild the whole city when you’re done.” The mayor said. “We have a giant octopus coming into town next. Also you know any school girls that might be interested in acting in it?”

“Sorry, already called dibs on this first.” Goku showed up and said. “Frieza and I need a fighting ground. We’re about to have an epic fight that lasts forever but the canyon is filled with snakes.”

“Sorry, Tokyo, schedule list full, but we’ll do something about those snakes.” The mayor said.

“Ok good. I want Frieza’s death at my hands! Not from snake venom!” Goku said.

“What is the moral of your story?” the Godzilla director asked.

“We live in Japan, buddy. Morals don’t apply here. Only epic fights, giant monsters, and sexy school girls. Nothing else matters.” Goku said. The cutaway ends.

“So how are we goin’ to pass this trench at enough time?” Aqua asked.

“How about we all form bridge of some sort? Blaze will hold one end, Engie will hold the other, and the rest of you will form a bridge and let me cross.” Crystal suggested.

“Ok genius, how are the rest of us going to follow?” Spike asked as he glared at her.

“I guess I didn’t really think it through for the rest of you.” Crystal said.

"Wait, I just got an idea!" I said excitedly.

"I don't like your ideas that much, Flare. No offense, dude." Psyche said.

“Hey unless, you have a better solution, Psyche, we should let the pony speak.” Blaze said. “Go ahead, man!”

"I think I have a type of transportation that’ll come over to us in record time, and we’ll get to Chaos Mountains even faster!” I said.

"So far, none of us had any ideas yet." Engie said.

"But first.... a song!" I said.

"A song?" Blaze asked.

"NO! This isn't an event. I'm not singing." Psyche said.

"But this is an important mission, and if you want that transportation, you're going to have to sing." I said.

"Forget it!" Psyche said angrily.

"Then we'll just sit here until one of you figures out a better idea." I said. Everypony was silent for few seconds. "Anypony got an idea yet?"

"Nope, ah got nothin." Engie said.

"Yeah, I can't think of anything." Aqua said.

"I know it’s weird, but it’s part of being an Equestrian. Everyone sings.” Spike said. “Except me most of the time.”

"We’re not getting any closer to our objective, dude.” Blaze said.

"Fine. One song and that's it. I'm singing anymore after." Psyche said.

"Don't worry, I'm not expecting you to sing anymore after this..... today." I said.

"For a while." Psyche said.

"Fine." I agreed. “Spike?” Spike starts playing the beginning part of 'Come Sail Away' on the piano.

"Where did ya get the piano, mate?” Aqua asked.

"I dunno, just found it here." Spike said as he continued playing.

"Here, I'll start." I said as I cleared my throat and started singing. "I'm sailing away."

"Actually we're just standin here." Engie said.

"Set an open course for the Virgin Sea." I Flare.

“Oh, he’s ripping off another song.” Crystal said.

"Cause I've got to be free.” I sang.

“Can’t he be more original?” Crystal complained.

“Free to face the life, that's ahead of me.” I sang.

“It’s hard to make a good song, Crystal.” Aqua said.

“On board, I'm the captain. So climb aboard." I sang.

"Why do you get to be captain?" Crystal complained.

"We'll search for tomorrow, on every shore - and I'll try, oh Wizard of Hope, I'll try! To caaaaarry on!"

"Wow, singing can really make a pony happy." Aqua said.

"But when Flare sings, it just sounds wrong." Blaze said.

"Go, Engie! Your turn!" I said.

"Oh." Engie said as he cleared his throat and begins as he holds his hoof over his forehead and looks around. "Ahhhhh look to the sea."

"Reflections in the waves, spark my memory." Crystal sang.

"Some happy, some sad." Blaze sang in a weird voice.

“Wow and you say my singing is wrong.” I complained.

Aqua put his hooves around Blaze and Crystal and sang, "I think of childhood friends, and the dreams we had."

I then punched Psyche's shoulder and said, "C'mon, Psyche!"

Psyche sighed and he began to sing, "We live happily together….."

"Like you mean it." I said.

"So the story goes…." Psyche sang a little better.

"You can do better!" I said excitedly.

"But somehow we missed out…." He continued as he began to smile.

"Almost there, brah!" I said.

"On the pot of gold." He sang.

“Finish it off, Spike!” I yelled.

"But we'll try, best that we can...” Spike sang. “To caaaaarry on!" The music in the background started to get more upbeat.

"YEAH! That felt good!" Psyche cried out. “I hate this song but it feels good!”

"See? I told you that singing can make a pony happy.” Aqua said.

"I knew you had it in you, Psyche!” I said.

"Heh, thanks." Psyche said. "I guess I do."

"A gathering of angels, appeared above my head." I sang.

“Hopefully not Weeping Angels.” Blaze said.

"They to me this song of hope, and this is what they said, they said..."

"Come sail away, come sail away, come and sail away with me!" we all sang.

"Brahs." I said.

"Come sail away, come sail away, come and sail away with me!" we all sang as we shook our bodies back and forth. "Come sail away, come sail away, come and sail away with me!"

"OR DIE!" I said angrily.

"Come sail away, come sail away, come and sail away with meeeeee!" we all sang as the trees started to get windy as the instrumental of the song was on. A helicopter with a bunch of breakfast items decorated on it appeared as it flew automatically down to the forest grounds and landed near us.

"We sang a song for this thing?" Psyche complained.

"What is that thing?" Engie asked.

"This here, my friends, is my Wafflecopter.” I said.

"What does it do?" Aqua asked.

"It can fly up to six ponies to any location! It can fly up to 120,000 feet, and fly up to 140 M-P-H." I said.

"Oh really? Anything else?" Crystal asked.

“It runs on maple syrup, and the steering wheel is a pancake.” I explained. “Also it comes with free maple tree sausage! Mmm mmm!” I took a sausage link out of the chopper and ate it. “Yummy! Oak wood!”

"Uh huh." Crystal nodded. "So who's driving?"

"Obviously me! This is my copter and my breakfast!” I said.

"Ah don't think ya have the experience, partner. Let me drive." Engie said.

"I don't think you have the experience either." I said.

"Look, I'm a member of the Wonderbolts. I should drive." Blaze said.

"I’m a scientist. I can do it. Not that being a scientist means anything with driving something.” Psyche said.

"You stallions are no match for the brains of us mares." Crystal said.

"That doesn't make any sense, Crystal." Aqua corrected her.

“Lemme drive. I have thumbs.” Spike said. So we all got inside the helicopter, fighting for the driver's seat. Well, not all of us. Aqua didn’t. While they were pushing and shoving eachother around, the impact of our fighting causes the helicopter to slide off the cliff.

“Uhh, mates? Mates?” Aqua tried to get our attention, but we didn’t listen. “MATES!”

Aqua wasn’t quick enough and the helicopter started to slide off the cliff. We realized what they were doing so we stopped, and just in time too. Crystal was about to bite Blaze’s leg. The Wafflecopter started falling into the trench as the music went to the part where it sounds like something is falling. As the music in the background started to get upbeat again, the Wafflecopter flew out of the trench and started to fly away.

"Now THAT was close.” Aqua said.

"This thing is pretty cool, Flare!" Crystal said as she nibbled on a piece of sausage.

"Yeah, I'd wanna get one of these things myself, maybe!" Blaze said.

"Well it's smooth sailin from here on out!" Engie said. “No pun intended. Also, Crystal, that’s not a tree sausage you’re eating, that’s a battery.”

“No problem; as long as it’s not a C.” Crystal said.

"I thought that they were angels, but to my surprise…” I sang. “We climbed aboard their starship, we headin' for the skies, singing...."

"Come sail away, come sail away, come and sail away with me!" we all sang.

"We have sausage!” I said.

"Come sail away, come sail away, come and sail away with me!" we continued singing. "Come sail away, come sail away, come and sail away with me! Come sail away, come sail away, come and sail away with me...." we continued singing as we were flying on top of the Everfree Forest and were on our way to Chaos Mountain which was in viewing distance. Meanwhile back at the trench, the Cutie Mark Crusaders caught up with us…. That is, if I didn’t have my chopper with me, and now they’re WAAAAAAY behind.

"Oh great! Now what?" Apple Bloom complained as she spotted my Wafflecopter flying in the sky.

"When did Flare get a contraption like that?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Well we lost 'em. We're doomed." Apple Bloom said.

"Told you this was a bad idea." Sweetie Belle blamed Apple Bloom.

"No you didn't!" Apple Bloom corrected her.

"Yes I did." Sweetie Belle argued with her.

"No you didn't!" Apple Bloom said.

"Will you two stop arguing, and hop on?" Scootaloo asked them while hanging on a glider.

"Scoots, where did ya get that glider?" Apple Bloom asked.

"I just found it, no need to go into details. Stop judging me!” Scoots yelled at them. “Anyways, we can use this to catch up to Flare and the others."

"Well, I rest my case then. Sorry I yelled at you, Apple Bloom." Sweetie Belle said to her.

"I’m not. If you two didn’t argue, I wouldn’ve found this.” Scoots admitted. “I just found this while closing my eyes and holding my ears, and then I banged into a tree- and if you say a Fluttershy tree joke, I’m going to push you two off the cliff.”

"We- we weren’t going to.” Apple Bloom corrected her.

“We weren’t?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“C’mon, girls. We have yet to prove ourselves.” Scoots said. “Now hang on tight, cause this is going to be a bumpy and very unsafe ride. So unsafe that we have to say the words ‘kids, don’t try this at home’ before doing so.”

“Why? We’re kids.” Apple Bloom reminded her.

"Weeeeeee!" they all cried out in amazement as they ran off the cliff and started gliding into the air. Scootaloo’s pre-mature wings helped them gain some altitude.

“Wow, and ah never thought Scootaloo would finally be able to fly.” Apple Bloom teased.

“Can you survive a 10 foot drop, Apple Bloom?” Scootaloo asked her sarcastically.

Back with the Noble Six and Spike, we were flying the Wafflecopter to Chaos Mountain. We were so close.

"There it is!" Aqua said while pointing to it. "Chaos Mountain! Looks scarier in person."

"Holy Wizard of Strength, guys. We made it this far." I said impressively.

"Hey I just realized, why didn't we use this before we left Ponyville?" Aqua asked.

"Didn't cross my mind. I thought of only using it if it was important." I said.

“Seems reasonable enough.” Crystal said.

“No it isn’t!” Blaze complained. “We could’ve used this to get here a lot sooner!”

"Oh for Wizard of Hope's sake!" I yelled.

"What's wrong, man?" Blaze asked.

"I think we're out of gas." I said.

"But we were only in the air for 20 minutes!" Blaze said.

"Yeah, I guess I remember why we didn't use it while we were still in Ponyville. Luckily for us, maple syrup is cheaper.” I said. Just then, the Wafflecopter’s motors began to shut down, and we just floated there like we were in a cartoon or something.

Just as soon as Crystal said “Oh snap!” we started falling out of the sky. The Noble Six and Spike were all screaming as we were falling. “Hey not to interrupt this death threatening moment,” Crystal started. “But can the next Styx song we sing be Renegade?” Just as soon as Crystal asked that, I pulled up the steering wheel, hoping for the chopper to gain altitude before we make the crash landing. To our luck, the chopper lands on its hay bacon skids. Most of us bounced as we crash landed and the helicopter started sliding on the dusty ground until it finally slows down and stops.

We all started to catch our breath. "Is everypony okay?" Aqua asked.

"Yeah we're fine." Psyche said.

"I am so glad my Wafflecopter is unharmed.” I said.

“Your Wafflecopter?!” Spike yelled angrily. “You’re worried about your Wafflecopter more than us?!”

“Oh hush, you’re replicable.” I said as I opened the frozen low-fat butter hatch and hopped out of the chopper. Everypony else followed.

“Luckily I packed some extra syrup.” I said as I used my magic to remove the syrup from the storage area, opened the gas hatch, and started filling it up.

“Ya should keep that thing filled up, mate. I’m really afraid of heights, and that crash landing really made flying a lot harder for me.” Aqua said.

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, brah.” I reminded him.

“I don’t think we need that helicopter anymore, man.” Blaze said.

“I know, but this is our getaway.” I said.

“Why don’t we need it anymore, Blaze?” Crystal asked.

“Look." Blaze said as he pointed to the scary looking mountain just 10 yards away from us. The mountain had lots of spikes and a dark cloud swirling around it, while lightning kept striking the top.

"Hey that reminds me of the Citadel from Half-Life: Episode One! Remember when the Citadel had that scary looking cloud swirling around it?" Engie asked.

"Except this time we're getting inside.... not avoiding it." Spike said.

"This is it, partners. Be careful." Engie said.

"I got a bad feeling about this." Spike said.

"This isn't Star Wars, Spike." Engie reminded him. And so, the Noble Six all walked towards the mountain. We saw a cave somewhere at the bottom.

"That must be the entrance to the mountain." Aqua pointed.

"Why would they put it all the way down here?" Blaze asked.

"Hey it saves us the climbin’ at least.” Aqua said. “C'mon let's go in." From the cave, we heard a roar coming from inside. Spike jumped on my back and was shivering in fear.

"Don't be scared, buddy. Just stay on my back. Bros for life right?" I asked with my hoof in front of Spike, hoping for a hoof bump.

"Bros for life." Spike said as he gave me a brohoof. The Noble Six all walked inside the mountain. I was firing flares from my horn to light up the dark cave. The Noble Six all looked around, staying on the alert.

"Stay alert, guys. We don't know about this place. This place was used by the god of chaos, Discord. So there could be some traps." Psyche said.

"Traps? Oh that makes me feel a lot better." Crystal said sarcastically.

“I’m tellin’ ya, this place is scarier than a Motel Six.” Aqua said.

A cutaway shows a family of ponies checking into a Motel Six room. As you can see, like all motels, it’s filthy. A hotel employee showed them inside. “Ok here’s your room.” The employee said to the family. “Ok so the mattresses on the beds aren’t really recommended for the ponies with back problems, so I recommend a rock pillow on your back. Now if you wanna take a shower, we only have cold water and sometimes the water stops, but only if you wash your face that happens; also, there’s a toilet plunger in the bathroom because the toilet backs up a lot. Now if you’re hungry, you can always step on a cockroach and eat that. They say cockroaches are full of vitamins. Don’t use the ceiling fan because it’ll fall once you turn it on.”

The employee turns on the fan switch and the fan falls in the middle of the room. “See? Now you don’t have to worry about that, so no health risks. Also the plastic cups, don’t throw them away, we ‘recycle’ them. Also you may need ear plugs because a lot of gangs like to hang out here with their mares, and they’re pretty crazy, I don’t want to get into details. The pool is opened 24 hours but instead of a bathing suit, you’ll need to wear a hazardous suit. The snow channel is on every channel in the TV, so there’s your entertainment, and if you need us, don’t call us because the phones don’t work, just walk to the lobby. We hope you enjoy your stay at the Motel Six!”

“Thank you!” the stallion said. “See honey? Honesty! That’s what I like at a resort. These people never lie. Not like those fancy hotel people.” The cutaway ends.

A half-hour went by and we just kept on walking; we even climbed a bit, swam through cave waters, and even avoided bats. "How long have we been walking for?" Spike asked.

"Half-hour." Aqua said.

"I am so bored!" Spike complained.

"Well at least you're not scared anymore." Engie said. Just then, we walked inside a corridor that had lit torches on the wall.

"This room is lit. Which means we must be getting close." Aqua said.

"What did you think it meant, doy!" Crystal teased.

“C’mon, we have no time to kid around! We need to find the Mane Six!” Psyche said.

“Took those words right outta my mouth, Psyche.” Aqua said. As we walked through the corridor, we activated a trap. Darts fired out of the walls and launched towards the Noble Six.

"DUCK!" Engie yelled.

We all ducked. Nopony was hit, except for Aqua. A trap door then opened and he fell down, but nopony noticed he was gone at first.

"Those weren't ducks, those were farts…. I MEAN DARTS!” Crystal yelled then laughed. “I can’t even tell a simple joke without saying another joke after that!”

"Ah know, it was a figure of speech." Engie said as we all stood up.

"Hey where did Aqua go?" Blaze asked.

"I dunno; he was right here." Crystal said.

"You think he was hit by a dart?" Psyche asked.

"I'M GETTING THE HAY OUTTA HERE!" a voice that sounded like Aqua cried out from the distance.

"DON'T GO, Aqua! Come back!" Crystal called out as she flew towards the exit. “Don’t be afraid! It was only a fart joke!” As Crystal flew out, the cave collapsed, blocking the exit. A bunch of ash covered the room and everypony started choking. The ash cleared and Crystal was missing.

"Crystal? Crystal where did you go?" Psyche called out.

"OH NO!" Engie cried out. "She wasn't hit by the rocks.... was she?"

"Forget this! Forget you guys!" Crystal said from the other side. "I'm just gonna abandon you here now. Leave you for dead. Flare Gun is not the type of pony you should be hanging with! It’s become of him you ended up here!”

"CRYSTAL?! Crystal what are you talking about?" Blaze asked.

"Yeah, those who hang out with Flare Gun are idiots! Later, losers!" Aqua said from the other side.

"GAH! I can't believe this!" Psyche yelled out in anger. "They've abandoned us! They've betrayed us!"

“No… they betrayed…. No. They didn’t. This is all a sham. Crystal is too slightly lower the average intelligence to betray us and Aqua’s too nice. That didn’t sound like them at all.” I said.

"I-I don't believe this." Psyche said. "But who cares? Who needs them? The five of us are not gonna give up, right?"

"Right.” Blaze agreed.

"Let's get moving then, shall we?" Spike asked. Everypony except me started walking on. I just stood there, questioning myself.

“Flare, are you alright?” Spike asked.

“Don’t hang out with Flare Gun? It’s because of him you’re here?” I asked myself.

“Don’t let that bother you, bro. Like you said, it’s all a sham.” Spike said as he tried to comfort me. “Crystal and Aqua will catch up with us, and you’ll see it’s all trickery from this mountain. Discord made it, remember?”

“Y-yeah. Lawl I do remember.” I said but still concerned. So we walked through the cave and entered a room that had many Discord statues around them.

"Talking about trippy." Spike said.

"Yeah this room sure could use some cleanin’.” Engie said.

"Where's the Mane Six? We've been looking around for 45 minutes already!" Psyche complained.

"This mountain is big. They could be anywhere, dude." Blaze said.

"You got point there, Blaze." Psyche said. He then accidently stepped on a trap, and then all the Discord statues activated and fired a laser that traps them where they're standing.

"And you say I'm the dumb one." I said to Psyche.

"I never said you were dumb." Psyche corrected me.

"Well this is just fine and dandy. What now?" Engie asked.

Psyche looked around the room and saw an opening on the high ceiling. "I see an opening over there. Maybe I could find the controls for these lasers." he said.

"How would you know if there is gonna be any controls?" Spike asked.

"Trust me. These lasers are made out of some sort of technology, which means there should be a control switch or panel somewhere." Psyche explained. "I'll be right back." Psyche flies up into the opening and crawls through.

"I hope he doesn't abandon us either." Engie said.

"What are the odds of that happin twice?" Blaze asked.

"Trust me, Psyche's our buddy! He's very loyal. He won't leave us, I'm sure of it!” I said.

Psyche crawls through the tight space, following the wire that connects to the statues. He then sneezes. "It's so dusty in here! Like an air vent. AAAH! Spider web!" Then a noise howls through the tight space. "Uhh, who's there? Hello?" There was no answer. Psyche kept crawling, following the wire. A dark shadow flashed behind him. Psyche was startled by it, so he turned around, but there was nothing there. He turned back, and saw the flash lunge at him. Psyche's eye pupils shrunk.

Back at the room where Blaze, Engie, Flare, and Spike were, they kept waiting for Psyche to shut off the lasers. "What's taking him so long?" Spike asked.

"Probably met into trouble. Don't worry, he won't abandon us. We're the Noble Six for crying out loud! We never abandon! Mischievous face." I yelled out.

"Yeah, try saying that to Crystal and Aqua." Blaze said.

“Guys, get out while you can!” Psyche called out from the crawl space. “Crimson Flare Gun is a mad pony! Take those Friendship Agreements and stuff it! Save yourselves before Flare Gun destroys you all!”

"You were saying, Flare?" Engie asked.

“HEY! Friendship Agreement, Section 4, Paragraph 6 says you cannot mess with the Friendship Agreement!” I called out.

“I thought that section was we can’t sing a musical number without you?” Spike asked.

“No that’s Section 6, Paragraph 4.” I corrected him.

“GO! ABANDON FLARE! BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE!” Psyche called out.

“Do you believe us now, Flare?” Blaze asked.

“NO! I don’t! I refuse to believe it! Psyche would never betray us! NEITHER WOULD AQUA OR CRYSTAL!” I called out as my anger triggers my rail-blast spell which knocks over some of the Discord statues and all the lasers deactivate.

"Nice one, partner." Engie nodded.

"Why didn't you do that before?" Spike asked.

"And waste my magic on perfectly crafted statues? As if. We had no other choice." I said.

“So… four of us left.” Engie said. “Crystal, Psyche, and Aqua are gone.”

"Yeah this is starting to get unreal." Blaze said.

"Like Unreal Tournament?" Spike asked.

“I swear by the Wizard of Hope, they won’t betray us! We’ll find them, as well as the Mane Six, and then we get out of this creepy place and go out for tacos.” I said.

“I like that idea. Let’s roll!” Spike said.

So we walked out of the room and went through a cave with a cliffside. At the bottom of the cliff was full of water and there was even a water fall. "Ah, don't ya'll love the sound of water falls?" Engie asked.

"Don't go chasing them!” Spike teased and chuckled. So we all walked along the cliff edge to the other side. We were afraid they would fall.

"Just don't look down." Blaze instructed us.

"What are you worried about? Ya are a pegasus." Engie said. I then suddenly stepped on the cliff edge and rocks were falling.

"Careful, buddy!" Blaze said.

"Yeah thanks for the warning, brah." I said sarcastically.

"I know, I'm just trying to help out." Blaze said.

"Well you can help out by not being so obvious." I instructed him. While Blaze and Flare were talking to eachother the wall opened, and Engie fell, leaving his wrench behind.

"How you holding up, Engie?" Blaze asked, but there was no answer. Blaze looked back. "Uh, Engie? Where did you go?"

"What happened? Where's Engie?" I asked.

"FLARE IS A SPY! RUN, BLAZE! RUN, SPIKE! GET OUT!” Engie called out.

“Actually…. I’m not surprised. Engie looks like the betraying type of pony.” I said.

“I dunno, man. He’s not the type of pony to leave his wrench behind.” Blaze said as he pointed to the wrench leaning against the cliff edge. I picked up the wrench and placed it in my vest pocket.

“This isn’t quite right. Why would they all betray us at once?” Spike asked.

“Brah, they’re not betraying all of us. They’re betraying just me.” I said. “JEEZ! I wouldn’t mind so much if it wasn’t JUST ME getting betrayed! Why can’t all of us get betrayed instead of me being the only one?! I really don’t like being the only one!”

“I know how you feel, dude.” Spike nodded.

"Alright, from now on, we're sticking together. Nopony, or no dragon, is getting separated from the group. We're all sticking together like glue." Blaze said.

"Ok but not glue sticks. They don’t really work. They always get dirty and unusable.” I said.

"I'm staying by your side, guys. You're like family to me and I'll do all I can to keep you both safe." Blaze said as he his hoof around me.

"Thanks, Blaze!" I smiled and said. "Now don't let go of me and Spike; you stay on my back. Let's go. If we keep physical contact with eachother (wow that doesn’t right), we’ll be safe." I said. So we all walked out of the water fall cave and went into another cave with checker board floors.

"Wait, guys. I sense a trap." Blaze said.

"Yeah I think I see it too. If we step on one of those tiles, a trap activates." I pointed out.

“Well, either that or a MOTHERLODE of gems appear! That would be amazing!” Spike said in excitement as stars appeared on his eye pupils.

"Don't worry, I can just fly us over-“ Blaze said as he got interrupted by spears that popped out from the ceiling. "I guess we have no choice, but to walk."

"BLAZE! Your hoof isn't around me! Come back!" I yelled.

"Oh sorry! I’m right here, man. Blaze said as he put his hoof around me again and we started walking on the checkerboard tiles. So far, no trap activated.

"You hanging in there, Spike?" I asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Spike said.

"Blaze, you still with me right?" I asked.

"I am right here, Flare, and I'll never let go. Wherever I go, you go with me." Blaze said. "I'm not leaving you two alone."

"Nopony in Mareami ever cared about me this much, brah. Thank you. Thank all of you, and the Noble Six.” I started to get teary eyed a bit. “If you all weren’t here by my side, I don’t think I would’ve survived this, even with my armor lock.”

"You're one of the only ponies that accepts me for who I am. I know I'm part dragon, and you didn't even run away." Blaze said.

"Of course not! Bros for life, right?" I asked.

"Bros for life." Blaze said. Just then, a fly buzzed by and it landed on a tile, and then the room started to get all smoky.

"Surprise face!" I yelled.. "NO BLAZE! YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE! You still there, buddy?!"

"I'm still here!" Spike said.

"Not you! Blaze!" I said. “I still feel your hoof! You still there, buddy?!” I did feel something around my back but I couldn’t hear his voice.

"Blaze?!" I called out as the smoke started to clear. "BLAZE?!” I looked behind me, and the only thing around my back was giant sack shaped like a pony-hoof, but there wasn’t a pony hoof inside, it was just filled with straw. “HOLY WIZARD OF FEELINGS!”

"Okay, now I'm really scared." Spike said as he started to grab my neck real tight.

"Hey, hey! You're starting to choke me!" I choked.

"Oh, sorry." Spike said as he released his grip from my neck.

"Alright, where was I?" I asked myself. "Oh right. NOOOO, BLAZE!"

"He didn't abandon us too, did he?" Spike asked.

"NO! Blaze is a loyal friend! Out of all of them, Blaze would never abandon whoever's loyal to him! Nopony!" I yelled. "Him and the others were obviously captured.

"Flare, I just wanted to let you know..... that I..... I accidently wrote over your 100% completion saved game in G-T-A 4." Spike admitted.

"It's okay, dude." I said. "Wait, WHAT?! I worked forever on that! Very angry panda face!"

"Look, I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you!" Spike begged. “Whoa, angry panda face! That’s big.”

"Sigh. Don't worry, brah. I don't have time to blame you for anything. Our friends are in trouble, and it's up to us to save them now." I said.

“I’m scared, Flare.” Spike said.

“I am too. I’ve never been so scared in my life, and I played Five Nights at Freddy’s.” I admitted.

“But we cannot stop. We have to keep going. Whatever’s going to get thrown at us, we’ll take anything.” Spike said.

“I’m not gonna stand and wait around. I’m just going to run, and I’m going to have my horn ready. I’ll use my Shoop Da Whoop, Laser Blast, Bubble Shield, or anything that’ll stop trouble! We will win this!” I yelled.

"Then stop talking, and onward!" Spike yelled as he kicks my behind. "CHARGE!"

"Dude, I'm a pony, not a horse." I reminded him.

"What's the difference?" Spike asked.

"Good point." I nodded. "FOR THE WIZARDS OF HOPE, STRENGTH, AND FEELINGS, AND FOR GREAT EQUESTRIA AND SHTAIRS!" I yelled out as I charged through the caves. I ran through the caves for 5 minutes, non-stop, avoiding all the traps I could find along the way. Nothing was gonna stop me! I have a mission to do! Now normally I get tired after all this running, but I’m so frustrated and scared that I forgot how to be tired! I didn’t even know that was a thing! After a while, I ran into a cave full of gems.

"NO WAY! FLARE, STOP!” Spike yelled.

I stopped, but I dunno why though. My hooves screeched like a car break as I stopped. “No! We cannot stop! Not until we find our friends!”

“But, it's.... so beautiful!” Spike’s mouth started to water. “So delicious! So.... I have to try one!" Spike reaches for a gem on a cave spike, but then I slapped his hand out of the way. "OW! Slappy much?"

"NO! We're not touching anything." I demanded. “I’m gonna start running again in a second, and you better stick to me!”

"Who made you the boss of me?" Spike asked angrily.

"I'm not being the boss, I'm just telling you, you shouldn't touch anything. It can trigger a trap. Now we're just gonna walk through this room, and we're not gonna touch anything, capiche?" I asked. Spike nodded. "Alright, let's go." I walked through the cave. Spike tried his hardest not to touch anything, but the gems started talking to him.

"Spike.... Spike..... eat us Spike. We're shiny, and delicious." A gem said.

"Our main purpose is to be eaten by you, Spike." another gem said.

"Leave this pony behind, and just dig in." another, another gem said.

"He's obviously holding you back. Just eat us. It's what you want!" another, another, another gem said.

"Spike, you still with me?" I asked. "Spike?" Spike shook his head real fast.

"Yeah, don't worry, Flare. I'm touching anything." Spike said with his arms crossed and eyes closed.

"Just keep holding it in. We're almost out!" I said.

"Eat us. Eat us. Eat us. Eat us." all the gems kept saying.

"Well, it wouldn't hurt just to have one." Spike said as he grabbed a gem from the ceiling and ate it. “Mmm mmm!”

“SPIKE!?” I called out. “BRAH! WHAT DID I JUST SAY?!”

“Cool your jets, man! I just had one, and nothing happened!” Spike said.

“I told you not to touch anything! You could’ve been captured too, and I would be all alone!” I yelled.

“Well excuse me, but I’ve been alone in the library many times, being left out of many things that you thought was unfair, and I was completely ok with it. You on the other hand always complain about being left out, and not to mention, you left me out of a lot of things too.” Spike explained.

“Oh yeah? Name one.” I instructed him

“Being a model.” Spike said.

“Name five more.” I instructed him.

“Going out to dinner, going out to lunch, going out for breakfast, going out for dessert, and going out for 3:00 pizza.” Spike said.

“Name 10 more.” I instructed him.

“Playing games, watching TV at the shop, visiting ponies, going out for cider, going cart surfing, Mother’s Day, going to the movies, board game night, Dungeons and Dragons.” Spike said.

“Ok so I left you out of a few things, so what?” I asked.

“So what? When we first met, you vowed to help me be a part of a group, but so far you’re doing the same thing as the Mane Six! You’re leaving me out! You’re no better than them!” Spike complained as his eyes had vortexes on them.

“Bro, you’ve been brainwashed. I know what vortex eyes are. You don’t know what you’re saying! Snap out of it!” I instructed him.

“No.” Spike said as he hopped off my back.

“Spike, get back on my back!” I demanded.

“No.” Spike said.

“Spike, please! Get on my back!” I begged.

“Nope.” Spike said.

“What do you want? Free gems? I’ll give you all the gems you want.” I offered.

“Are you stupid? We’re in a room full of gems! I’ll just stay here. You go on ahead.” Spike said as he hoped on a pile of gems and laid down.

“Spike, I am really scared and really confused. I’m sure you are too.” I said.

“No I’m not. I’m actually happy here. The only thing that’s missing is you gone.” Spike said. I was really shocked. I knew the gem he ate brainwashed him, but something deep down inside me was telling me otherwise.

“SPIKE, PLEASE! I’LL DO ANYTHING! I’LL BE YOUR SLAVE!” I begged in the same way I begged when I was a kid to make friends. I started gaining flashbacks of me saying that exact phrase, ‘I’ll do anything, I’ll be your slave’. No! I will not let me past haunt me. I must gain control. “Fine, brah. Fine. Stay here, and I’ll be back for-“ but he was gone before I could finish that sentence. I started to get REALLY scared. I was all alone. Aqua’s gone, Crystal’s gone, Psyche’s gone, Engie’s gone, Blaze’s gone, Spike’s gone, I’m all alone in this strange place now. I knew something was out to get me, but I don’t know what. The only thing left I had to do was wait and see. I had to continue walking. If I could find the Mane Six, they could find a solution to get my friends back and get out of here before this place gets the better of me, but after 15 minutes, it did. I began to talk to myself.

"Stay with us, Flare! You're talking nonsense! But, Flare they abandoned me! No, don't talk like that, they were captured and we.... or I must find them!" I just began arguing with myself. "But it's so obvious they think you annoying. That is not true! Yes it is! No it isn't! Yes it isn't! No it isn't, infinity! LAWL! Got you! Oh real mature, brah. Hey, how about we stop arguing and we look for the others? Either way goes. We either find them, or we get captured. If we-or I get captured then I might catch up with them! Happy face! I am such a genius! Okay, but first we need to trigger a trap." i started touching everything and stomping on the ground. I was running through the cave corridors, touching all the walls, and stepping everywhere and laughing like crazy, but there were no traps. "C'mon, there's gotta be a trap around here somewhere!" I freaked out. "WHY CAN'T YOU CAPTURE ME TOO?!" I yelled. “Oh man, I’m so screwed! I’m more screwed than a be-boop-ba-koo-kee-ba-booooo!”

A cutaway shows…. I dunno what the cutaway gag shows. It was just a bunch of random things like a blender, a chainsaw, a pickaxe, a Tonka truck, and even a Bubba toy. “Look at you, going crazy.” Sheldon Cooper said as he chuckled. “Bazinga! I am your father! I’m Batman! Shhhhh!” The very strange cutaway ends.

“AAAAAH!” I screamed. “I AM SO CONFUSED!” I then collapsed to the ground and laid there with my eyes and arms twitching. “This can’t be happening to me! This really can’t be happening! Oh for Wizard of Hope’s sake, I’m going crazy! It’s the mountain! No… no! I will not let the mountain control my mind! AAAAH! MANE SIX! NOBLE SIX! SPIKE! WHERE ARE YOU?!”

“Right here, son Flare.” Fluttershy said.

“MAMA FLUTTERSHY?!” I called out. “WHERE ARE YOU?!”

“Right here, sugarcube.” AppleJack said.

“Oh… Mane Six! Thank goodness! Oh sweet Luna! I can’t take this anymore! You girls know what’s going on, sistas?” I asked.

“We’re not your sistas.” Rarity said.

“I know, it was a slang. You know that.” I reminded her.

“We never liked your slangs, Flare. We now know the true error of our ways.” Rainbow Dash said.

“I’m friends with everypony, Flare. Everypony…. Except you.” Pinkie said. “You’re the only one in the whole world I hate.”

“Pinks, lawl, stop fooling around!” I chuckled.

“Oh listen to you, you sound stupid.” Pinkie said.

“Says the pony that likes to talk the combination of Spanish and Penguin. Spanish penguin!” I said.

“That is true, but I will not agree. You’re right, but I’m gonna say you’re wrong. YOU ARE WRONG!” Pinkie yelled.

“Why did you come to Ponyville, Flare? Everything was going along just fine until you showed up.” Twilight said.

“The nerve of some ponies. Crimson Flare Gun leaves his family and hometown for his own purposes. Sound pretty mighty stubborn if you ask me.” AppleJack said.

“Friendship is magic, Flare, but somepony as idiotic as yourself will never know of it.” Twilight said.

“Friendship is magic? Oh I thought friendship was epic? I mean…. You know….” I thought.

“Pathetic. So pathetic.” Rainbow said.

“You’re annoying, Flare Gun. So very annoying.” Fluttershy said.

“B-but…” I stuttered.

“I’m not your mother, Flare.” Fluttershy said.

“I…I didn’t call you Mama Fluttershy.” I corrected her.

“Oh… I… I thought you were going to.” Fluttershy corrected herself.

"Kay, congratulations, this is the most awkward conversation I ever had, and the most confusing." I said.

"Nopony really cares about you." Rarity said.

“I’m really getting offended now, girls!” I said. “WE’RE FRIENDS! SAY YOU’RE FRIENDS WITH ME! RIGHT NOW!”

"Friends with you? HA! That's not even funny." Pinkie said. "You never were funny. We were never really friends with you! We just did that, because we felt sorry for you."

"Well.... at least you felt sorry for me." I nodded.

"Not anymore." Rainbow said. "We found out that you're a type of pony that reminds some ponies aren’t meant to have friends. Your spells are stupid. Especially the SHOOP DA WHOOP. What kind of spell is that? You're obviously a mary-sue."

"I AM NOT A MARY-SUE!" I yelled.

"Yes you are. Nopony should be that powerful." Rarity said.

"I'm not even that powerful!" I yelled.

"Just keep your spells to yerself, loser." AppleJack said.

"Oh, and not to mention your pizza. Worst stuff ever! Bleh!" Pinkie said.

"Worst? You less then three my pizza! Everypony did!" I said.

"Nopony really liked your pizza. It was in the drinks actually. After they took their first bite, they just drunk down the taste. They ate at your shop so you wouldn't be upset. The Princesses too. You're a terrible cook!" Twilight said.

"And your fish.... why do ya'll care about fish? It's so lame!" AppleJack said. "They're just fish!"

"They're not just fish! They're my family!" I yelled.

"Pathetic." Fluttershy said.

"Face it, Flare Gun. You have no friends. Never had, never will." Twilight said. "And stop saying 'less then three', and 'brah'. I mean, you're calling everypony a mare's clothing! It's stupid!"

“Twilight, that's not like you!” I really started freaking out now. I started losing even more will than I ever had before.

"It is Flare." Twilight said. "You've shamed us all, and don't worry about your Noble Six. I'm sure it's died out by now."

"Alright, shut up. You're lying!" I yelled as tears started to fall out of my eyes.

"Don't believe me? Here's proof." Twilight said as she uses her magic to show me surveillance of the Noble Six running away.

"Phew! Good thing we left Flare in there to die." Psyche said in relief.

"Yeah, it wasn't easy. I can't believe we had to stick to that pony for these past months, and these past adventures!" Aqua said.

"He would totally be a failure if he joined mah matches and such." Engie said.

"Yeah, he wasn't much help either, and the Noble Six? Lamest name ever; and all of Flare's jokes are actually stolen! So he's not really funny. Being original is funny, he's not being original." Crystal said. “Ok maybe he’s original sometimes.”

"Wow, and I can't believe I said all that stuff about him about thinking he's family! The closest of family he'd ever be with me, is his big stupid plot!" Blaze said.

"Well, at least he likes my plot." I said.

"Oh, I take that back. I hate that plot. I prefer even hobo's plot, from Trottingham!" Blaze corrected himself.

"Yeah, well. Let's talk more about this when we get home. Goodbye forever, Crimson Flare Gun." Psyche said as they ran away.

"See? Nopony cares about you." Twilight said.

I started punching my head. "I'M DREAMING! THIS IS A NIGHTMARE! IT'S NOT REAL!" I yelled. “OW! But this pain does!”

"Stop fooling around, Flare. You should disappear off the face of the Earth…. if you want to make it up to us." Twilight said as the Mane Six all began to angrily walk away.

"Flutters... please!” I begged. Fluttershy just whacks me in the face with her tail and walked out.

“That was the longest I’ve ever had to go through, and I’ve seen a bunch of interweb rants, but still…. I cannot believe this. It must be true. Everypony has betrayed me.” I started to really tear up. “Crying face. A-a-and… if….. a-and if…. A-and if…. A-and if…. Hold on.” I opened up my head and it revealed a record player.

All the stuttering was caused by the record scratching so I take it out, clean it on my vest and place it back in, and then I close my head and continued weeping and saying, “And if the Mane Six say it..... and if the Noble Six abandoned me..... it must be true. I am never meant to have friends." The song 'How could this happen to me', by Simple Plan plays in the background as tears fall out of my eyes. Afterwords, I turned off my Ipod and the song stopped playing. “This song doesn’t really help my situation. It just makes me feel worse.” I then started to sob. I sobbed very loud and I even made a puddle where I’m laying down. Just then, a dark shadow appears behind me.

"There there, Flare Gun. No need to suffer anymore." A voice said.

"Just go away. Leave me alone! Crying face. Boo hoo! Sob. Weep." I said as I continued to cry.

"But you and I have a future." The voice said. "We shall avenge the stress and suffering they put you through. You moved to Ponyville to get away from it all, and it followed you, and they say they're suppose to support friendship. It's time to teach the Mane Six a lesson."

I sniffed and turned towards the shadow. "W-who are you?" I asked.

The shadow revealed himself. "I am Discord, God of Chaos." he said.

"Heh… Discord, Dat Cord." I teased as I attempted to cheer myself up. “Oh.... and I heard about you. I'm a fan of your work. God of Chaos? More like God of Humor! Lawl…” I was still weeping a bit.

"Indeed." Discord said.

"Why are you all blurry, and..... how come my hoof can go right through you?" I asked as I was trying to touch him but my hoof just went right through him.

"Oh believe me, even if I wasn’t a hologram, your hoof would still go through me.” Discord said as he chuckled a bit. "You see that statue over there?" Discord points to a statue of him. "That's actually me. Somepony already tried to break me free, but failed. All they could do is put a little hologram device on me and now only my spirit broke free."

"So, you're like a ghost right?" I asked.

"Are you scared?" Discord asked as he changes his form to look like a ghost. "My powers can change my form, but my powers can only work fully if my body was free. Your old doctor friend said that you might be the one to help me!"

"How?" I asked.

"You must release your anger. Your true powers will be awoken once you released it." Discord said. "Once you become powerful, you can use your SHOOP DA WHOOP spell to break me free! By the way, I love Lazor Collection. Especially number 4! It’s all scribbly and wavy.” Discord changes his form to look like a bunch of tangled lines. “But you cannot free me now. The doctor says you must take your time to let your anger flow around you.”

"Who the hay is the Doctor?" I asked.

"That information is classified at this time. Please leave a message after the beep. BEEEEEP!" Discord said as he changes his form to look like an answering machine.

"Hey, I said that joke a couple of times.” I pointed out.

"Join me, Flare Gun, and together we can rule Equestria, as father and son!" Discord said.

“Thanks for your offer Dis- wait, what?” I asked.

“Sorry, I just really wanted to say that.” Discord said.

"Thanks for your offer Discord.... and Dat Cord.” I chuckled a bit.

Discord laughs along. "I like your sense of humor! Sense of humor is what I really like as a chaotic apprentice.” Discord said.

"Well, I appreciate your offer.” I nodded. “But I can't. I mean, even though nopony cares about me anymore, that doesn't mean I have to go against them. I’ll be no better than them. I will not stand to their level! I apologize Discord and Dat Cord. HA! Kay it's getting old. But I must do what's right."

"I see." Discord said. "Well, if that's how you wanna be. Then I respect your decision."

"Thanks, brah!" I said.

"GUARDS!" Discord yelled. Just then, a couple of Royal Guards busted into the room, and held me down.

“HEY! Ask me nicely to lay down next time instead of holding me!” I complained. “Wait… you’re the missing royal guards!”

"Yes, as you can see, I brainwashed them to work for me. Since you can't join me yourself. Then we shall force you!" Discord said as a royal guard appears with some sort of stamp. “The doctor made this little device that can turn a pony into my control!"

"Ew, why do these royal guards have scars on their eyes?" I asked as I saw all the royal guards have strange red ‘S’es on their left eyes.

"I'll show you. Let's get this party started, or die trying.” Discord said as he started laughing evilly. A royal guard takes a stamp with a backwards ‘S’ on it.

“NOT THE FACE!” I yelled as the guard stamps the red ‘S’ right onto my left eye. "OUCH! That really hurt!"

"Release him." Discord ordered the guards. The royal guards released me, and one of them gives me a mirror. I looked in the mirror and gasped.

“Surprised?” Discord asked.

“AM I?! My mane is all messed up!” I complained. “Oh and look at my vest! It’s all dusty! Dang!”

“Oh don’t worry. After we’re done brainwashing you, we can give you a change of clothes and you can brush your mane after.” Discord said as he was brushing his long wavy blonde hair. “You know with this hair, I’d make a good biker chick.”

"So in order to brainwash me, you have to put a scar on my eye?" I asked. "I may look evil now, but I don't feel evil."

"Oh, it'll kick in." Discord said.

Just then, I kicked a Royal Guard in the shin. “OW!” the guard yelled.

"A kick like that?” I teased. “Lawl lawl lawl lawl lawl la- wait…. what? I'm starting to feel something. I guess this is the part I fall on the ground, hold my face, and scream, right?"

"Actually it is." Discord nodded.

"Good, just wondering." I said. "Kay, I'll do it, in 3.... 2..... WAIT! I need to go the bathroom."

"Can't you go the bathroom until after your transformation?" Discord asked.

"Sigh. Fine." I complained. After a few moments, I then fall on the ground, holding my face and started screaming. "AAAAAH! This really hurts! What's happing to me?! Also I’m faking this yelling! I feel more angry than pain! I'm starting to feel.... AAAH!”

“You’re starting to feel ‘aaaah’? I have no idea what that means. Care to explain?” Discord teased.

“FOR WIZARD OF HOPE’S SAKE, WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME?!” I yelled.

"Yes, your anger is growing! Your fear, your hate! It's time for you to be my loyal apprentice, and you will torture the Mane Six, so the Elements of Harmony will be no more! Then you'll be powerful enough to free me from my prison, and together, we will rule Equestria as father and son!" Discord yelled as he then laughed evilly. “Sorry, I can’t help it! I love saying that!”

My eyes were closed. I then stopped screaming, and I let go of my face. Then I opened my eyes, and my eyes turned yellow and red. I then made an evil glare and breathed heavily. “Evil lawl lawl lawl.” I said.

TO BE CONTINUED.....

Author's Note

The remake of the Book 1 finale. Yeah, it's pretty much the same from here on out, except for a few minor things.

Sweet and Sour Flare - Part 2

Last we left off, the Mane Six have been captured by a shockwave created by some weapon made of technology, not magic. Princesses Celestia and Luna sent us, the Noble Six (Crimson Flare Gun, Red Engineer, Crystal Iceblast, Blaze Goldheart, Psyche Illusion, and Aquatic Armor), along with Spike the dragon to go rescue them. We're at Chaos Mountain, Discord's citadel, until he's been 'stoned'. Heh! Stoned Discord! We journeyed through and over the Everfree Forest and went inside the mountains, but we ran into some complications along the way, and by complications, I mean I’m the only one left. NO! They’re not dead, but they did abandon me and left me for dead, or did they? This mountain was created by Discord, did I not say that? But being alone for so long made be loco, amigo. I found the Mane Six, but they talked smack about me. They ranted at me, and put me down, which broke one of my internal organs. Discord has returned, but not fully, as a hologram. He's still in his statue, but some 'doctor' put a hologram device on the statue so Discord's spirit can be free from the statue, but he can't use his powers. Discord brainwashes me, and here's where we left off. I hope you enjoy the final chapter of Book 1! Here we go!

"Hello? HELLO?! WHOEVER'S IN CHARGE HERE, LET US OUT!" Rainbow Dash yelled from inside of a prison cell along with her friends. Rainbow Dash tried pulling the bars, kicking them, and knocking into them, but they didn't even budge.

"Forget it, Rainbow. We're trapped in here like pigs in a pen." AppleJack said. Pinkie Pie chuckled as she thought about a pig inside of a pen. No, not that pen, a writing pen.

"How could this happen? I was flying with Blaze and next thing I knew, I woke up here!" Rainbow said. "This is so not cool!"

"Oh my hair! Whoever captured us ruined my hair!" Rarity whined.

"Oh can you forget about yer hair for one second, Rarity? We're trapped in some sort of prison!" AppleJack said.

"No, you think?" Rarity said sarcastically. "But this place is so filthy!"

"What if we did something bad?" Pinkie asked. "What if making a cake is against the law now? What if…. Oh no, did they I find my hidden collection of cook books?! I’M INNOCENT I TELL YOU! Well… maybe not completely, but-“

"Wait, how is makin’ cake against the law? What mag’a think that?” AppleJack asked.

"Yeah, I was making a cake with my identical twin cousin. Something knocked him out, he was gone, he was shot back out and then I was captured, and then we woke up in this prison, and now I really have a craving for tacos because I think heard an echo through the corridors about after we’re rescued, they go for tacos.” Pinkie explained.

“So if your cousin is a ‘he’, how is he your duplicate? He’d look exactly like you.” Twilight asked.

“He’s a femcolt.” Pinkie said.

"Twilight, try it break us free with your magic, maybe that’ll help.” AppleJack suggested.

Twilight tries to break the bars with her magic, but her horn doesn't even spark, and there's a metal ring on her horn as well, preventing any magic to work. "I can't! My magic isn't working!" Twilight said.

"Must be that metal ring on your horn that's not making it work. Rarity's got one too." Rainbow said. Rainbow Dash tries to open her wings, but couldn't. "And it looks like my wings have been super glued to my body. So I can't fly."

“Wait I have a ring on my horn?!” Rarity asked shockingly. “How does it look? Does it match?”

"I-I-I'm scared." Fluttershy said shivering in the corner. "I... don't like this place."

Rarity walks over to her and pats her back. "Don't be scared, darling, as long as we're all here together, we'll figure something out." She said.

"W-what do you think they want with us?" Flutters asked.

"Maybe they want a party!" Pinkie cried in excitement.

"Ah don't think they want a party, Pinkie. Ah think there's a plot goin on." AppleJack said.

"What kind of prison is this anyway? Did the princesses capture us?" Rainbow asked.

"No, the Princesses would never do such a thing!” Twilight said excitedly. "And this isn't the castle dungeon."

"How would you know? Have you been there?" Rainbow asked.

"Yes, but not as a prisoner." Twilight said.

Pinkie started to giggle. “Twilight you should’ve seen the look on your face when Rainbow asked if the princesses captured you!” Twilight glares at her.

"Why would you go into an awful place like this, and not get arrested? It doesn't make sense." Rarity asked.

"What do you think the plot is?" Flutters asked.

"Your behind, duh! What do you think a plot is?" Pinkie teased and laughed and snorted.

"I meant, what could they be planning? If we're captured, then.... then...." Fluttershy said but she covered her eyes before she could finish.

"If we're all captured, that means some plague is gonna happen to Equestria, and only the Elements of Harmony can defeat them." Twilight said. "Without the Elements of Harmony to stop them, they can be unstoppable!"

"Could it be Discord?" Pinkie asked. "I hope so. It would start raining chocolate again!"

"I dunno. If it was Discord, then there would be chaos. This place seems kinda damp." Rainbow said.

"Don't get me started on the looks of this place, Rainbow Dash." Rarity complained.

"Could it be Nightmare Moon?" Flutters asked.

"We already stopped Nightmare Moon, and ah don't think Luna would ever be goin to cross that path again." AppleJack said.

"Queen Chrysalis? I think it's Chrysalis." Rainbow said.

"Yeah, maybe. It should explain the darkness, and the dungeon-like prison." Twilight thought.

"But wait, Changelings usually have that awful gross sticky stuff, and I don't think I see that around. Phew! Thank Celestia, for that." Rarity said in relief.

“Or this could be a Motel Six!” Pinkie thought.

A cutaway shows the same family from the last Motel Six cutaway gag sleeping in their beds in that dirty hotel. “Daddy?” the daughter asked.

“Yes, honey?” the dad asked.

“That sweater in closet is scaring me.” the daughter said frightened.

“It’s not a sweater honey, it’s just a monster in there.” The dad said.

“Oh… ok then.” The daughter said as she fell back asleep.

“Dear, stop drooling on me.” the mom asked her husband.

“That’s just the ceiling, honey.” The dad said.

“Dad? I have to ask; where do babies come from?” the son asked.

“This motel, son. This motel.” The dad said. The cutaway ends.

"What is going on? Who’s in charge here?!” Twilight called out.

"I think that would be me.” Discord said as his hologram emerges from the shadows.

“DISCORD!” they all cried out in shock.

“No! It’s Discord’s ghost!” AppleJack said.

“Hello, my friends! It has been a while hasn't it?" Discord said, walking to their cell.

"Ooo, ooo! Make it chocolate rain! Make it chocolate rain!" Pinkie yelled out in excitement as she started hopping.

Discord chuckled. "I wish I could, Pinkie Pie, but my powers have been trapped, along with my body." he said.

"Your body?" Rainbow asked. "But you're right there."

"50% correct.” Discord said as his body splits in two and then back together. “My spirit is here. I am still trapped in my stone prison, but thanks to a special friend of mine, he put a hologram device on my statue. So technically, I'm a hologram, or as AppleJack said, GHOOOOOOOOST!”

“Ah did not say it like that.” AppleJack corrected him.

"Oh that's good." Twilight said in relief.

"No that's bad! Very, very bad." Discord said. "I can't wonder around like this, but luckily, I was told that a certain power can help break me free, but first we need to get rid of you for good, so nothing will stop me.”

“Get rid of you for good? You sound like my parents after they asked me to get a job.” Rainbow said.

A cutaway shows Rainbow Dash looking at the newspaper ads, looking for a job like her parents asked you to. “Find a job yet, Dashie?” her dad asked.

“No. I swear all these jobs are racist against ponies that don’t have skills.” Rainbow said.

“You have skills. You can fly and do tricks.” Her dad reminded her.
“I meant skills that require thinking.” Rainbow corrected him. The cutaway ends.

"So once my new apprentice breaks me free, together we will rule Equestria and create chaos for all, but first, he needs to release his hate. GUARDS! Bring in my apprentice!" The Royal Guards walk inside, along with Shining Armor. They all had yellow and red eyes, with a scar near one of their eyes that's shaped like an 'S'.

"SHINING ARMOR?!" Twilight cried out.

"Hello, Twiley." Shining said with an evil smile.

"What has he done to you?" Twilight asked in tears.

"Discord has made me general of his new army, and I am honored to work along side him." Shining said.

"So you're his new apprentice?" Twilight asked.

"As much as would love to be, I'm not, sadly, but there is a certain pony you might know that is." Shining said.

"Shining Armor, Celestia's guards, Luna's guards, and Cadance's guards are all a part of my new army to take over Equestria. I can't do it all myself." Discord said.

"Who's the apprentice? Can he do chocolate rain like you?" Pinkie asked.

"No, but he does have the power to break me free, and maybe he might sing Chocolate Rain if you’re interested." Discord said. "Come, my loyal apprentice!" The Mane Six look towards the door and they see a black suited pony with a remote necklace around his neck, and a black gas mask on his face and breathing heavily inside it. Discord's apprentice walked to Discord and bowed to him.

"Greetings, my brah." Discord's apprentice said. "What is it that you need?" Then the apprentice looks at the Mane Six. "YOU!" he yelled. "YOU TRAIDERS! TRAIDERS OF FRIENDSHIP! Looks like you've finally been ended up in a cage. Trapped like pigs in a pen."

"Yeah, ah said that already." AppleJack said.

“I still can’t get that mental image out of my head.” Pinkie said.

"You all sicken me." Discord's apprentice said.

"He doesn't seem so friendly." Rainbow said.

"W-who is that?" Flutters asked.

"Mane Six, meet my new apprentice. Dark Flare!" Discord introduced him. The Mane Six gasped.

"FLARE?!" they all cried.

"Discord... Discord, no, no." I said as I took off my black gas mask and revealed my face. My eyes were yellow and red and there was a scar on my face shaped like an 'S'. "We've been over this, it's 'Darth' Flare, not 'Dark' Flare."

"How am I suppose to know the difference? They sound so similar!" Discord complained.

"F-Flare? S-son Flare? No!" Fluttershy started sobbing on Rarity's shoulder.

"Careful with the hair, dear." Rarity advised her.

"Flare, what did he do to you?!" Rainbow Dash asked angrily.

"You've asked me the same question already, and you're gonna get the same answer." Shining said.

"Yeah, what he said." I said.

"Well, I'd love to stay, but I have some planning to do. Dark Flare?" Discord asked.

"'DARTH' Flare, brah. Say it right!" I demanded. “You have to obey the Master-Apprentice Agreement!”

“Oh boy.” Rainbow facehooved herself.

"Whatever. Please look after the Mane Six while I plan our next phrase of action." Discord instructed me.

"Me? Stay with them? The ones who betrayed me?!” I complained. “You know why things never work out for you, Discord? Because you always have the wrong ideas, like a hungry horse.”

A cutaway shows a bunch of starving ponies stranded on an island. “I’m so hungry, I could eat a horse.” One of the ponies said. The other two ponies slowly started looking at him in concerned. “What?” he asked. The cutaway ends.

“No thank you. I do not want to hang with them. Shining can handle that." I suggested.

"But if you stay, your anger will grow, and your hate, then you'll become all powerful, and be able to break me free!" Discord recommended.

"That makes sense to me. I dunno why I agree, but I just do. Something in my head is telling me that.” I said.

"Good boy. You all play nice now." Discord said as he vanishes.

"Flare what are you talking about?" Twilight asked. “What trickery did Discord pull on y ou?”

"YOU KNOW DARN WELL OF WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!" I yelled at them angrily.

"We don't, we swear! What's gotten you like this, dear?" Rarity asked.

"I don't want to relive the moment again, but.... Discord said I had to boost my anger. Kay then. Listen good because I'm going to say this once!" I started. "You listenining? DISCORD DIDN'T LET ME GO TO THE BATHROOM AFTER MY TRANSFORMATION! Now I have to go real bad! Thanks alot!"

"That's why you're grouchy?" AppleJack asked.

"Yeah that, but mostly YOU!" I yelled and pointed at her.

“ME?!” AppleJack asked shockingly.

"Not just you, AppleJack. Fluttershy, Pinkie, Rainbow, Rarity, and Twilight too!" I said. “Not to mention Spike, Blaze, Psyche, Engie, Crystal, and Aqua! All traitors to friendship!”

"We didn't do anything to offend you! We would never!" Flutters said.

"Oh, but you did Flutters. You showed me your true colors before this friendship could go any farther." I said. "You betrayed the good friendship name! You call yourselves the Elements of Harmony when you can't even accept a true friendship is ponies that actually need them most! I was very depressed when I lived in Mareami. I had a great life in Ponyville, and YOU threw it away!"

"Flare, Discord's messing with your mind. We would never put you down! You're a great friend, Flare! We taught you a lot, it’s what you wanted!” Twilight said.

"Enough of your lies, sista. You all knew what you said to me back in that cave; said that I deserve to disappear off the face of the Earth! Saying my pizza and my cooking is terrible! Saying it's pathetic to love your fish like family! Well guess what, sista? My fish mean everything to me." I explained.

"But I love your fish, Flare! I come and see them all the time. I think of them as friends!" Fluttershy said.

"And your pizza? Sugarcube, y’all make the best darn-good pizza in the whole kingdom! Why would we put down a work of art like that?" AppleJack asked.

"I adore your pizza, darling! I'd get my hooves dirty anytime for your fine cuisine!" Rarity lied. “But I do find your narrator slightly irritating, Flare.”

"Yeah, yeah, you're just saying that." I pouted.

"Why are you doing this to us, Flare?" Flutters asked.

"The tables have turned. It's time for you to feel that pain you all gave me! First you, then the Noble Six, then the entire kingdom! I'm gonna get the respect I deserve! Even if it means I have to hurt somepony to get it!" Flare swore. "EVIL LAWL LAWL LAWL LAWL LAWL!” The Mane Six all got a little frightened. “You know, you’re right, I gotta stop with the ‘lawls’. I’m getting tired of it too.” I’ll slow down when Book 2 starts.

Meanwhile, outside the mountain, the Cutie Mark Crusaders just landed their glider and were walking around the wasteland. "This place looks scary!" Sweetie Belle said.

"Oh and ah thought Scootaloo was supposed to be the tree?" Apple Bloom teased.

"Apple Bloom, you gotta stop with tha- wait what?” Scoots asked.

“Oh woops, ah got it all mixed up. Sorry.” Apple Bloom said. “Ah thought Scootaloo was supposed to be the marshmallow!”

“Are you ok, Apple Bloom?” Scoots asked.

“Yeah, ah forgot what they call you.” Apple Bloom said.

“You’re right, they call me a tree. I’m the tree.” Scoots lied as Apple Bloom was supposed to call her a chicken, but instead called her a tree.

“Oh yeah, that’s right! You’re the chicken!” Apple Bloom remembered.

“This narrator is really getting on my nerves.” Scoots complai- “Oh shush!”

"Well we've made it to Chaos Mountain, but no sign of Flare and the others." Sweetie Belle said.

"That mountain sure looks kinda creepy." Apple Bloom said.

"Looks pretty cool to me!" Scoots said. "Let's go in!"

"You sure that's a good idea, Scoots?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"No, I don't. You got any better ideas?" Scootaloo asked.

"No." Sweetie Belle said.

"Then the only way we're going to catch up with them, is inside." Scootaloo said.

"Wait! Somepony's comin!" Apple Bloom pointed out. The Crusaders all hid behind some rocks. Crystal and Aqua walked to the middle of the wasteland, ahead of the Crusaders, not knowing they're there.

"It's Crystal Iceblast and Aquatic Armor. They were with Flare!" Sweetie Belle whispered.

"Wait, they're doing something." Scootaloo whispered. Crystal and Aqua pressed a button on their watches, and they changed into Royal Guards.

"No, it's the missin’ Royal Guards!" Apple Bloom whispered.

"The boss said the plan was a success. Flare Gun has been brainwashed and is now his loyal apprentice." One of the guards said.

"What are they talking about?" Scootaloo asked.

"Yep! These changing devices that the doctor made work like a charm!" the other guard said. "Changing into the Noble Six, thinking Flare's friends have been betrayed him was a genius plan! Now all of them are captured!”

"What?!" Scootaloo cried.

"Shhhh!" Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom shushed while putting their hooves on Scootaloo's mouth. Then they release their hooves quickly and wiped them on their fur. "Eww!" they both cried.

"Hoof licker." Sweetie Belle complained.

"Now that the Mane Six has been captured and Discord's key to freedom is there, we just have to wait until Flare gets angry enough to be powerful enough to set him free!" the first guard said.

"Nothing can stop him now! It was nice talking about our plan out loud out here where nopony can hear us.” The second guard said. “Now let's celebrate! Where do you and the guy's wanna go for dinner?" both of the guards began to walk.

"I was actually in the mood for some BQQ lately." The first guard said.

"Girls, Flare and the others have been captured!" Apple Bloom said.

"You think?" Scootaloo asked sarcastically.

"This is not good." Sweetie Belle said.

"You think?" Scootaloo asked sarcastically.

"We have to go find help!" Apple Bloom said.

"You thin...." Scootaloo was about to say again but got interrupted.

"Shut up!" they both said to Scootaloo.

“Then stop stating the obvious.” Scootaloo advised them.

"If Discord's returning, and Twilight, Rarity, and the others who hold the Elements of Harmony were captured, Equestria will be doomed!" Sweetie Belle said.

"We have to go back to the castle." Apple Bloom said.

"How? Our glider broke." Scootaloo said. "We'll never get there fast enough!"

"Hey, what's that?" Sweetie Belle asked while pointing to my Wafflecopter that was still parked in the middle of the wasteland.

"It's Flare's flyin’ machine." Apple Bloom said. The three of them ran over to the Wafflecopter and looked at it.

"Wafflecopter, huh? Well, it’s better than Roflcopter at least, and instead of text, this thing is made of food.” Scootaloo said.

"I wonder if this still works." Sweetie Belle wondered as she kept pressing random buttons. She started the wind-shield wipers, the automatic coffee maker, and automatic sausage server. “Oh hey, tree sausage! Yummy!”

"Move over." Apple Bloom demanded, pushing Sweetie Belle over and turning the key. The propellers on top of the copter started spinning.

"Buckle up, girls! Time for the Cutie Mark Crusaders to save the day!" Scootaloo said.

"Maybe we'll even get our cutie marks!" Apple Bloom said excitedly.

"I hope you know how to fly this thing, Apple Bloom." Sweetie Belle hoped. The chopper started flying in the air, but it was spinning and tilting.

"Ah hope so too." Apple Bloom said. They were successful in flying the copter out of the wastelands, and they started flying back to Canterlot.

Back at the cave at a certain room, Blaze was waking up from his slumber. “Ugh! What happened? Where are we?”

“Is that seriously the first question you ask?” Crystal asked. “My first question is why do I crave tacos?”

“Maybe it’s cause we were talkin’ ‘bout it a little while ago.” Engie said.

“Crystal?! Engie?!” Blaze called out.

“Yeah, hi. Where are the tacos?” Crystal asked.

“Is Aqua and Psyche here?” Blaze asked.

“Right here, mate.” Aqua said.

“I can’t reach my jelly-babies. My arms are stuck.” Psyche said. All of the Noble Six were in this room, strapped on to metal beds of some sort with braces on each hoof.

“Where are we? Where’s Flare?!” Blaze asked as he tried to release himself from the braces.

“No good, partner, these braces are sealed on tight. Even the strongest ponies may not be able to break them.” Engie said.

“Aqua, can use your magic?” Blaze asked.

“Tried it, but there’s an anti-magic ring on my horn.” Aqua said.

“I’ll use my phoenix powers to get outta here.” Blaze said.

“WHOA, WHOA, WHOOOOA!” Crystal said in shock. “You’re a draconian AND you have phoenix powers?!”

“Yeah. When I was a foal, a phoenix used its magic on me. The phoenix said it was sent by Princess Celestia. I’m not just a draconian, I’m the last of the draconians, and I have phoenix powers that don’t seem to work because I’m trying to activate them but it’s no good.” Blaze explained.

“Looks like we’re stuck here until we can find a way outta here.” Psyche said.

“Oh that won’t be necessary.” The Discord hologram appears in the room and said.

“DISCORD! What sort of trickery is this!?” Blaze yelled.

“To be honest, I have no idea who you five are.” Discord said.

“Oh where are our manners?” Engie chuckled. “Ah’m Red Engineer, this is Crystal Iceblast, Blaze Goldheart, Psyche Illusion, and Aquatic Armor. We came here with our friends Flare Gun and Spike but they don’t seem to be here.”

“Oh… you mean this cute little guy right here?” Discord asked as a monitor activated, showing Spike back at the gem cave, devouring all the gems.

“What are you doing to him, Discord?” Blaze asked. “You better not hurt him!”

“My, my, Mr. Armor, I wouldn’t dream of it.” Discord said in a sensitive voice.

“I’m Blaze.” Blaze corrected him.

“Oh to-may-to, to-ma-to.” Discord said as holographic tomatoes appeared on his paws.

“I call it ‘to-ma-to’.” Crystal said.

“What are you planning, Discord? What is happening here?” Psyche asked.

“Well, a little birdie told me,” Discord started as a holographic bird appeared on his paw. “that you are the Noble Six, correct?”

“He’s smart.” Crystal said.

“Of course I am, Crystal. I have a PH.D in having a PH.D.” Discord said as he showed Crystal a PH.D for having a PH.D.

“Wow, and I thought Psyche was the only one with a PH.D?” Crystal asked.

“Ah’m next though.” Engie said.

“What are ya plannin’ to do, Discord? Where’s Flare?” Aqua asked.

“Oooooh he’s around. He could be over here…” Discord teleports to one side of the room. “He could be over here…” he teleports to the other side of the room. “He can even me here on the ceiling.” He teleports to the ceiling while bouncing a holographic basketball on it, and then he throws it to Engie.

“AAAH!” Engie yelled as the ball gets thrown at him, but it just goes right through him since it’s just a hologram. “DON’T DO THAT!”

“Sorry about that, Engie. I know you were expecting a solid ball, but once I’m free again, I’ll fulfill your promise.” Discord said. “Now let us get down to business. GUARDS!” The brainwashed royal guards appeared in the room.

“Oh hey look, the missing guards.” Aqua noticed.

“My friends here are going to perform a little surprise experiment on you.” Discord said.

“What kind of experiment?” Aqua asked.

“Oh but that’ll ruin the surprise, and I don’t like ruining surprises.” Discord said.

“I don’t like this one bit, like the Mane Six didn’t like the .MOV series.” Psyche said.

A cutaway shows the Mane Six watching the .MOV series on the computer. “What? B-but… ah can’t eat that many apples.” AppleJack commented.

“T-that doesn’t look like the kind of parties I make.” Pinkie commented.

“Oh my, but… I don’t even own a shed.” Fluttershy commented.

“Uhh… what’s a ‘swag’?” Rainbow asked.

“That magic spell doesn’t look familiar to me. Also, why do I sound so I high-pitched?” Twilight asked.

“What’s that I’m consuming? Is that even edible?” Spike asked.

“Please… that doesn’t sound like me at all.” Discord commented. The cutaway ends.

“You won’t win, Discord! You will be beaten like you always have!” Blaze yelled.

“Well that’s better than you saying ‘you’ll never get away with this’, I hate that phrase, it’s overused.” Crystal said.

“I agree.” Discord said.

“Same.” Aqua said.

“Now then… let the experimentation…. BEGIN!” Discord said. The royal guards start walking over to the Noble Six with needles.

“AAAAH NEEDLES! I HATE NEEDLES!” Engie yelled. “AH AM SO GLAD MEDIC REPLACED NEEDLES WITH A MEDIGUN! AH DON’T THINK I CAN… can… take…. dibs....” Engie was injected with the needle and began to fall asleep.

“Don’t fall asleep, Engie. Ya can fight it. Ya can… ya can…” Aqua started to fall asleep as well after he was injected.

“NOT THE ARM! NOT THE ARM!” Crystal yelled as the guard was about to inject the needle in her arm, but the guard stops. “Thank you.” She said in relief until the guard injects the needle on her neck. “Ow! At least you follow…. Follow… directions…. Oh snap.” She falls asleep. Psyche and Blaze were also injected with the needles but they didn’t fall asleep yet.

“Fight it, Psyche! Fight it!” Blaze yelled.

“I don’t think I can hold it in much longer, Blaze!” Psyche yelled.

“That’s because you’re a weakling.” Blaze said.

“Oh how nice of you, Blaze.” Psyche said sarcastically. “You know, I’m just gonna let the medication put me to sleep so I don’t have to hear your insults. Good night.” He falls asleep.

“Fight it, Blaze! Fight it!” Blaze said to himself as he began to sweat.

“Don’t bother, Blaze. It’s in no use. The medication will affect you either way.” Discord said.

“Must…. Resist…. Use…. Phoenix powers…. Aaah…. No….” Blaze started to get drousy and close his eyes but he keeps trying to open them again but they keep going tighter and tighter. “Flare…. I… we would never…. Betray you…..” everything fades black.

“Ehh, except for me.” Engie said.

“Oh, inject him again.” Discord instructed the guards.

“Dang it.” Engie complained. “Ow! Poke me.”

Back at the prison, I was sitting on the table, eating some garlic rolls. Shining Armor and the Royal Guards were standing against the wall, and of course the Mane Six was still in prison. “I got a garlic roll! I got a garlic roll!” I said. “Wait a minute.” I put my hoof in the garlic roll bag and took out another one. “I got two garlic rolls! I got two garlic rolls!”

"We have nothing, I’m starving!” Rainbow complained.

“Well, it’s eating time anyway.” I said as Shining Armor walks over to the Mane Six and gives them a tray full of food.

“Take the food.” He demanded.

“Oh cool! Corn!” Pinkie said excitedly.

“Corn? You’re giving us corn?” Rainbow complained.

“It’s better than letting you starve, right?” I asked.

“He’s got a point there.” AppleJack said.

“What made him think of serving us corn?” Rainbow complained.

“I was listening to the band Korn as I was guarding so… hey… corn.” Shining said.

“Anyways can you six insult me more so I can be more powerful?” I asked.

“I thought you didn’t want to be OP?” Twilight asked.

“I thought so too, until I figured out, nopony’s gonna think me any different.” I said.

“Isn’t that what I’ve telling you before?” Twilight asked.

“Everyone’s gonna thing I’m OP even if I’m not powerful. I bet even if I used my armor lock, I’ll be gaining insults about that. OH that reminds me, check this out!” I activated my armor lock. “Luna gave me armor lock!”

“I don’t know what that is.” Twilight said.

“What do you and Spike talk about?” I asked as I deactivated the spell. “Now gimmie some insults so I can hate you some more! Evil lawl lawl lawl!”

"Flare, this has gone far enough!" Twilight said. "Discord brainwashed you, and my brother! He's just usin’ you so he can break free! We're your friends, Flare. We trust you, and you trust us. We've been there for you ever since you moved to Ponyville! We've supported you, and you've supported us! Just think it....."

"WORDS WORDS WORDS! Hi I'm Twilight Sparkle, I say alot of WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS! I'm just trying to say alot of words to Darth Flare so I can get free, and just abandon him in this terrible place again. WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS FLIPPIN’ WORDS!" I yelled.

"Wow, that was rude." Twilight said.

"Flare, we promise we won't ever abandon you! It’s against our nature!” Rainbow said. “I’m the Element of Loyalty. It would be against my element to abandon you.”

“Same goes for Engie, Psyche, Blaze, Crystal, and Aqua.” AppleJack said.

“Don’t mention those tators! Those tator tots! They’re no better than you!” I said. “Crystal Iceblast, one of the funniest ponies I know. We fought an X-Wing when Lord Thorn was in town, and that’s the day we met. Same goes with Engie. Very generous he is. They both taught me that merchants are usually phoneys and that you shouldn’t fight for something stupid.”

“Internet in a nutshell.” One of the royal guards said.

“Aquatic Armor – he showed me that there are more things to competitions than winning. I sacrificed my winnings to save Lyra from that Trixie-bot. The kindness in his heart is what made me want to hang out with him in the first place.” I explained. “Psyche Illusion – I made him at the royal wedding. Very honest, yet very caring, even though he never met us, and we’ve always treated him as the punching bag of the group, but that didn’t stop him. He kept hanging with us. Which goes to loyalty, Blaze Goldheart – Rainbow Dash asked me to look for him.”

“No I didn’t. You went to look for him yourself.” Rainbow corrected me.

“Shh, we have to show kindness to Flare, he might help us out of here.” Twilight whispered.

“I HEARD THAT!” I yelled. “Only kind to me so I can-“ Just then my phone begins to vibrate and I take it out to check. “STOP POKING ME! SO ANNOYING!” I yelled at my phone as I pressed the ‘poke back’ button. “Yeah! Let’s see how you like it, Keith!” I put my phone away and continued, “You girls only kind to me so I can let you out?! You know, that doesn’t even surprise me anymore. Here, have some of my garlic rolls.” I offered.

“No thank you. I don’t want to get my breath all stinky.” Rarity said. Just then I walk over to Rarity and stuff the garlic roll in her mouth.

“Yeah you like that? YOU LIKE THAT?! I MAKE THIS STUFF! I SERVE IT EVERY DAY!” I yelled.

“Flare, quit bein’ such a jerk!” AppleJack yelled. I stuffed another garlic roll in her mouth and she started pouting.

“Heh, this is fun. I should stuff garlic rolls in pony’s mouths more often.” I chuckled.

“Ooo ooo can I have some? Can I have some?” Pinkie asked excitedly.

“Oh sorry, that’s all I can spare, but if you want you can have Rarity’s garlic roll.” I suggested.

“I already swallowed it, dear.” Rarity said.

“I WANT THAT GARLIC ROLL!” Pinkie yelled as she tackles Rarity. “GIMMIE!”

“Wow, now you are fighting with each other. I’m actually quite enjoying this.” I chuckled. “I don’t like the enjoyment, I need to be angry. Discord and dat cord said so.”

“HA! Discord, dat cord. Why didn’t I think of that?” Pinkie laughed and snorted.

“Why do you snort a lot, Pinkie?” Rarity asked in a disgusted tone.

“I knew somepony that snorted a lot. He was among the first that betrayed me.” I said. “But… that’s a story we’ll get to another time.”

“Flare, I know there’s some good in you. You don’t hate us. I know you don’t.” Twilight said.

“Who said anything about me hating you?” I asked.

“Oh that’s fantastic!” Pinkie said in excitement.

“I despise you.” I said mischievously

Pinkie froze while she was jumping in the air. She just floated there, smiling, then her smile turned into a frown, then her mane deflated. “You.... despise us?” Pinkie asked sadly.

“Shining, I think Pinkie Pie’s gone missing because I see her twin sister, Pinkamenia Diane Pie in here now.” I teased.

“Ha ha, very funny, Darth.” Shining said and laughed. The guards joined along.

“See? Even Shining and the guards think I’m funny!” I said.. Then the Mane Six all laughed, but I knew they were faking it.

“That was a great joke, Flare!” AppleJack said.

“Yeah, so funny, my sides are hurting!” Rarity said.

“SHUT UP!” I yelled and slammed on the table. The Mane Six all froze. “You’re just faking it; I know that for a fact! You can’t fool me! I know when ponies are lying to me!”

“What happened to the Flare I used to know?” Pinkie asked as she started to sob softly. Rarity patted her on the back.

“There there, dear. Somewhere inside that evil lord is that Flare we know and love. He could’ve attacked us with something. He never did that.” Rarity said.

I then threw a garlic roll at Rarity and it landed in her mouth. “Bullseye!” I said.

“I STILL DON’T GET ONE?!” Pinkie freaked out as she started to sob with tears running out of her eyes like a waterfall.

“GAH! My hair! Pinkie!” Rarity whined.

“Sugarcube that was harsh.” AppleJack said.

“Flare this is not funny. You’re being very rude to us.” Twilight said.

“Shut up! You deserve a garlic roll too!” I yelled as I inserted my hoof in the garlic roll bag, but it was empty. “Oh how unfortunate. All out of garlic rolls. Sigh. Let’s see what else in my satchel I have to throw at you meanies.” I started going through my satchel to look for more.

“But.... I’m not a meanie.” Fluttershy said.

“We know, Fluttershy. We know.” Rainbow said as she patted her on the back.

“Flare, this is your second mom talking. Please release us from this prison, and we’ll go take out that meanie Discord together. Your curse will be broken and we WILL get out of here. Just let us go! NOW!” Fluttershy demanded.

“If you’re planning on using your stare on me, I’m not even looking at you right now, so it won’t work.” I said.

Fluttershy was silent for a moment. “Rats.” She whispered.

“EEK!” Rarity screeched.

“Ooooooh… I’m so scared.” Deflated Pinkie said sarcastically.

“Pinkie, you couldn’ve picked a better time to deflate your mane?” Rainbow asked.

“Shut up.” Pinkie said angrily. “Flare is a stupid meanie-mean head!”

“There we go! There’s the hate Darth Flare was looking for! My super Shoop Da Whoop will be ready in no time!” I said excitedly.

“Your name is not Darth Flare, its Flare Gun.” Twilight corrected me.

“Call me by my first name. I hate that.” I said. “That’ll really get me going! Oh look what I found in my satchel!” I took out a container of Pringles. “Ah, pringles! Leet! This should be perfect to throw at you!”

“You gonna be taking out some chips and throwing them at us?” AppleJack asked.

“Negative.” I said as I threw the entire Pringles can at Twilight, and it hits her nose.

“OW!” she yelled and rubbed her nose.

“If you want ketchup to go with those chips, some should come out of Twilight’s nose any second now.” I said mischievously. Twilight growled at me. “You mad, sis?”

“What do you want from us, Flare? What do you want in your life? Do you want this?” Rarity asked.

“You wanna know what I want? I’ll tell you want I want!” I said.

“If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends.” Rainbow sang.

”SHUSH! I’m gonna sing, not you!” I corrected her.

“I NEVER had my own solo yet!” Rainbow complained.

“Neither did ah.” AppleJack said.

“Guards, let’s show them what we want!” I said mischievously.

“Yes, Lord Flare.” Shining said.

“That’s Lord Darth Flare.” I corrected him as the Royal Guards started playing their drums, and played ‘I Wanna Rule The World’ by 10cc. The guards and Shining Armor marched in front of the Mane Six’s cell, and started singing.

“I wanna be a boss, I wanna be a big boss, I wanna boss the world around, I wanna be the biggest boss, that ever bossed the around!” Shining and the guards sang. “I wanna do it right, I wanna do it right away, I wanna do it right now, I wanna do it right away, I wanna do it now!” The guards stood in place, saluting to me as I dances by, carrying a top hat and cane.

“Don’t wanna be a dancer, in a Bolshoi Ballet. Don’t want to work for Daddy. In Daddy’s shop, ok I get confused, soooooo confused.” I sang, rolling my eyes around. The Mane Six all looked at each other conceringly as I moved my body up and down. “I get a pain, I get pain up here in the Shirley Temples.”

“Whatcha gonna do? How you gonna do it? Whatcha gonna do? How you gonna do it?” the Mane Six sang.

“Little by little.” I sang.

“Ooh ooh.” Shining and the guards sang.

“Little by little.” I sang.

“Bit by bit.” Shining and the guards sang.

The floor below the Mane Six opened, and then they all started falling down and landed in some city streets. There were three screens on buildings, one to the right of the Mane Six, one to the left, and one in front. I appeared on one screen at a time as I sang the next part.

“Shhh! Not too loud, don’t tell everypony, don’t give away the game!” I sang. Just then I appeared on all the screens and sings. “Oooh, oooh!” Then the screen in front of them sang, “I ain’t quite ready to reveal my campaign.” Just then, me and the Mane Six appeared at an eat-in theater. The Mane Six were sitting in the audience, while I was singing the next part of the song on stage, with some guards using the instruments. “This is not the time. Our hero’s alive, and well in a cave. I’m keeping them on ice, in the suspended animation, till the very right occasion comes along.” Then a building started rising off the stage floor, and grew 60 flights and a flag with a black circle and a red ‘S’ appeared on top as the royal guards and shining sang the next part.

“To our rally come along, come along, to our rally, come along, to our rally, come along. To our rally come along, come along, to our rally, come along, to our rally, come along.” they sang. I then walked up to a stand in front of the tall building and I was about to speak. The Mane Six and a larger group of ponies were in the crowd.

“A BRAVE NEW WORLD WILL RISE FROM THE ASHES!” I yelled up at the stand. “And there upon a rock titanic, I’ll cast a giant shadow, on the face of the deep - and never again will they dare to call me: A freckled, spotty, specky, four eyed, weedy, little, CREEEEEEEEEEP!” I cried out. While I said that, Twilight, Fluttershy, Rarity, and AppleJack were scared. Rainbow Dash just glared at me, and Pinkie was eating popcorn as she watched. Next thing we knew, the Mane Six and I were at a torture chamber. Twilight was about to get hit by a laser underneath, Rainbow Dash was tied over a shark tank, Fluttershy was under a large spinning blade, AppleJack was surrounded by pears, and a bag of dirt was near Rarity. “No tremblin and quakin’ in the gym.” I sang. “No more ‘come on fellas, let’s get him’.”

“Whatcha gonna do? How you gonna do it? Whatcha gonna do? How you gonna do it?” the Mane Six sang.

“Little by little.” I sang.

“Ooh, ooh.” Shining and the guards sang.

“Little by little.” I sang.

“Bit by bit.” Shining and the guards sang.

”Little by little." I sang.

“Ooh, ooh.” Shining and the guards sang.

“Little by little.” I sang.

“Bit by bit. Bit by bit. Bit.... by..... bit.” Shining and the guards sang.

I then dressed as a little girl and started dancing like a little girl and sang like a little girl in front of a schoolhouse. “Everypony’s going to be free, but they’ll have to agree to be free. They’ll have to agree to be less free than me, ‘cos I rule the world you see.” I sang in a high-pitched voice that sounds a lot like Bowser Jr.’s voice from Scanner-Life. “So wait for the army of kiddy-winkies, and terrible tiny tots, in armored school buses,” armored school buses appeared. “firin poison pea-shooters, and sinking their milk teeth into your thighs..... delapsus resurgam! When I fall, I shall rise!” The guards started singing again as the Mane Six started to get a little paranoid.

“I wanna be a boss, I wanna be a big boss, I wanna boss the world around, I wanna be the biggest boss that ever bossed the world around!” Shining and guards kept singing 7 times, until Rainbow Dash interrupted them.

“Alright, we get it!” she yelled. The Mane Six reappeared in their prison cell, along with me, Shining, and the guards just ouside it.

“For Wizard of Hope’s sake, Dash. Do you have to spoil the moment?” I complained.

“What kind of song was that?” AppleJack asked.

“An underrated song.” I said. “Wasn’t it possum grade awesome?”

“No.” Pinkie said angrily with a deflated mane still.

“Well who asked you all anyway?” I complained.

“I had enough of all this.” Rainbow complained. “This is getting really out of hand, like ridiculous puns.”

A cutaway shows a telephone helping an empty paper towel tube fix its amnesia. “I phone, you tube.” The phone said to the tube.

Next shows a house talking a jar of honey. “Hi Honey! I’m home!” the house said to the honey jar.

And finally we show a chocolate bar and a carton of milk shaking hands. “Chocolate milk shake.” They said. The cutaway ends.

Alright I think that’s enough of the Mane Six and Darth me arguing, let’s change the scene a bit before the big event. No I’m not saying ‘mane’ event; ‘mane’ is another ridiculous pun that should’ve been on that last cutaway gag. Now then, meanwhile at Canterlot castle, the three princesses were just sitting there doing nothing. “Sooo… what do you girls want to do?” Celestia asked.

“What do we do all the time?” Luna asked.

“You two want to go swimming or play shuffleboard?” Cadance asked.

“I don’t swim.” Luna said.

“And I can’t shuffleboard. Every time somepony sees me with a long stick they keep saying ‘oh look its Princess Molestia, keep the children away’! It sickens me.” Celestia complained.

“And you think you have it bad?” Cadance asked. “When I first revealed myself to the world I kept getting complaints – ‘why is there another princess? I thought there was only 2’?”

“I never have these problems.” Luna said.

“That’s because everypony loves you Luna.” Cadance complained.

“And don’t you deny it.” Luna said as she smirked at Cadance.

Yeah, that’s pretty much how the princesses talk to eachother when nopony is around. They only sound wise and kind when other ponies are around. When they’re by themselves, they sound like any ordinary mares. Anyways, as they were having their conversation, the crusaders all start screaming as they crash my Wafflecopter into the throne room from one of the windows. They continued screaming even right after they crash landed, until Sweetie Belle opened her eyes and saw the princesses looking awkwardly at them, she stops screaming and then punches the other crusaders on the side.

“OW!” they yelled.

“Sweetie Belle?! What was that- oh.” Scoots said as she too saw the princesses.

“Why hello there, Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo! Pleasure of you to drop in!” Celestia said.

”Seriously? Three little fillies crash into the throne room and all you do is say a ridiculous pun?” Luna asked her sister.

“Is that how ya always take to Celestia, Luna?” Apple Bloom asked.

“No.” Luna lied.

“Aren’t you all a little young to be driving one of those flying machines?” Cadance asked. “Come to think of it, what is that? Is that… a bunch of breakfast foods combined to look like a helicopter?”

“Princess Celestia!” Apple Bloom cried out. “Princess Luna! We need your help!”

“You went with the Noble Six without their permission, didn’t you?” Celestia asked.

“NO!” Scootaloo yelled.

“Yes we did.” Sweetie Belle corrected her.

“Sweetie Belle?” Scootaloo whined at her.

“We can’t lie to the princesses.” Sweetie Belle said.

“”What seems to be the problem young ones?” Luna asked.

“We were following Flare and the others and we were just outside Chaos Mountain, but before we were able to go inside, we saw Crystal Iceblast and Aquatic Armor, but it wasn’t them!” Sweetie Belle explained.

“It was brainwashed Royal Guards! Your missing Royal Guards were captured and brainwashed!” Scootaloo explained.

“And they said they brainwashed Flare, captured the Noble Six, and we think they’re in trouble!” Apple Bloom said.

“Oh my; this is troubling.” Celestia said.

“I agree, but it appears Discord isn’t free yet, since there’s no chaos.” Luna said.

“What about my Shining Armor?” Cadance asked.

“If the royal guards are there, and they’re brainwashed, that must mean Shining Armor must be there and brainwashed too!” Sweetie Belel said.

“Oh… dear….” Cadance took some deep breathes.

“There there, Princess Cadance.” Luna said while comforting her. “Cutie Mark Crusaders, you’ve done the right thing. It appears Flare Gun and the Noble Six was wrong about you.”

“What did he say about us?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“I agree. Without you three to warn us what happened, we would never know, and Discord might be free without us knowing.” Celestia said.

“What are we going to do, sister?” Luna asked.

“We’re going on a rescue mission, but not just us.... we’re going to need some help from a few friends of theirs!” Celestia said mischievously.

“I don’t like that look on her face.” Apple Bloom whispered.

“I don’t molest.” Celestia said with an annoyed tone.

Meanwhile back with and the Mane Six and I, I was bored so I showed them my new armor lock ability. “Armor lock, armor lock, armor lock, armor lock, FLIPPIN’ armor lock! HAHA!” I yelled.

“Alright we get it, Flare! Stop!” deflated Pinkie demanded.

“Yeah, even though Pinkie’s depressed right now, ah kinda agree with her.” AppleJack said.

“Kinda? KINDA?!” Pinkie yelled.

“Flare?” Twilight asked.

”DARTH Flare!” I corrected her.

“WHATEVER!” Twilight yelled. “Do you even know where the Noble Six or Spike are?”

“Don’t know, don’t care. They could be eaten by one of those piranha plants at Everfree not that I care.” I said.

“You do care, Flare. You do care.” Twilight said.

“If you want, you can test me.” I said.

“Ok… umm… remember when you rescued us from the piranha plant from Everfree? We were hugely grateful that you came back for us, just like we came back for you.” Twilight said.

“Only because Luna said so.” I added.

“No because Luna persuaded us.” Twilight corrected me.

“I don’t see a difference between persuasion and just plain telling you.” I said.

“Yeah I don’t either.” Rainbow said.

“Not helping.” Twilight mumbled angrily to Rainbow.

“How about the time I took care of you when you were sick? You called me Mama Fluttershy from there on out…. It…. It really meant a lot to me.” Fluttershy said as she whimpered a bit. Fluttershy then began to sing Soft Dalek to me, “Soft Dalek, Warm Dalek, little ball of hate…”

“Soft Dalek is for when you’re sick.” I corrected her. “I’m not sick.”

“Do you have a song for when you’re stressed?” Fluttershy asked.

“NO! I don’t have a stressed song, I’m not a child!” I corrected her.

“Speaking of child. How about that time ya were a child for a short time?” AppleJack asked.

“Those mean Canterlot ponies, and those mean school kids thinking I’m crazy. I’M NOT CRAZY! DO I LOOK CRAZY TO YOU?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” I spazed out.

Nopony said a word after that, except for Fluttershy, “No you’re not crazy.”

“Of course I’m not! Everypony else is though.” I said.

“You expressed yourself…. Weirdly though…. But still ya learned from it and that’s good!” AppleJack said.

“So what I learned was I can get away with making an idiot of myself and everypony would just forgive me just like that?” I asked.

“Well, ah wouldn’t say that, but…. Dang….” AppleJack mumbled angrily.

“Keep going, I’m getting madder each moment I’m hearing this.” I said.

“Remember when you helped AppleJack and I with the sisters pageant?” Rarity asked.

“That you didn’t do.” I reminded her.

“We were only thinking of your safety, darling.” Rarity reminded me.

“Yeah, ah mean, you were scared out of your mind, and ya still did it! If that’s not friendship, ah dunno what is.” AppleJack said.

“You’re right, you don’t know friendship.” I agreed. “Next!”

“What about you forgiving Pinkie after you let her borrow your Ipod and she dropped it in the sewers?” Twilight asked.

“I should’ve kept it there!” Pinkie said angrily. “Let it get eaten by the sewer gators…. No offense to Gummy.”

“You still can’t change me. Are you girls finished yet?” I asked.

“You know, this isn’t the Flare we know and love. We know Discord’s tricks and I know you don’t mean what you’re saying!” Rainbow said.

“You idiots are starting to get on my last nerve! Very angry face!” I said as my horn began to glow. “I’m gonna have to settle with you all, right here, right now!” The Mane Six all held eachother tight, except for Pinkie.

“Ok, let him end us, I don’t care.” Pinkie said sarcastically. My anger was really getting my powers stronger, but without Discord’s curse on me, this is not the way I would want it to go. Before I was able to do anything, Discord’s hologram comes back.

“Dark Flare.” Discord said.

I grunted, pouted and deactivated my horn. “Why can’t you say my name right? DARTH! Not Dark!” I reminded him.

“The time has come, my apprentice. Time to bring an end to the Elements of Harmony once and for all.” Discord said.

“You’re gonna regreat this, Discord! You messed with the wrong ponies!” Rainbow Dash yelled.

“Whoa nelly, calm down, sugarcube.” AppleJack tried to calm her down.

“Anyways, everything is ready. The big show starts in an hour, so I’ll need you and the guards to take these lovely ladies over the arena.” Discord said.

“Ah the arena! Time to see some real entertainment!” I nodded.

“Like I care what we’re gonna be seeing. I doubt I’ll find it entertaining.” Pinkie grumply said.

“Uhh… Pinkie…. I think WE’RE the entertainment.” Twilight said frightenedly.

“Alright guards, let’s get these ladies to their places and they’ll meet their fates.” I said.

“Of course, my lord, right away.” Shining said as he opened the cage doors and the guards began to escort the Mane Six to the arena.

“I got a bad feeling about this.” Rarity said.

“This isn’t Star Wars, Rarity.” Rainbow corrected her.

“All these references are making it look like this is Star Wars.” Twilight said. “I mean, DARTH Flare, the arena from Attack of the Clones….. I have the feeling this is going to end with an Episode Four-like ending.”

“That is, if we make it outta here alive.” AppleJack said.

An hour went by. We took the Mane Six to the Mountain battle arena which looked a lot like the arena from Attack of the Clones. All around the arena were mostly geonosians, all cheering after we hang the Mane Six on columns. There was even a geonosian selling food, and T-Shirts and hats of the Mane Six with X’s on them, and there were even a couple of fat geonosians with letters written on their stomachs, in order: ‘DO-WN-WITH-THE-ELEM-ENTS-BINKS’. “Wrong execution, Jeremy.” One of the geonosians said to the geonosian with the ‘BINKS’ on his stomach. The audience was like a football crowd. Eventually, they all did the wave.

“See? Told you this was going to be like the Attack of the Clones arena.” Twilight said.

“Well.... this is the end of us. The end of the fabulous Rarity, and her good looks, and fashion.” Rarity said upsettingly. “But please…. Make sure I look good.”

“Ah never thought it would end this way.” AppleJack said. “Ah always thought ah’d die applebuckin’. Die from exhaustion. Then ah would truly be in heaven.”

“I always thought I’d die drowning in chocolate milk, but nope….” Pinkie said depressingly. “And worse thing is…. I go out with a friend as an enemy. Woo hoo.”

“Don’t give up, girls. We can still get outta this! There is hope for us, and even Flare yet!” Rainbow said.

“Rainbow Dash is right. Somepony is bound to rescue us.” Twilight said as she looked up at mind-controlled Shining Armor, then teared up. “Why? Shining, get back to your senses. You’re my B-B-B-F-F! You can fight it!”

“Just face it girls. We’re doomed.” AppleJack said.

“Rainbow…. I-I-I’m scared!” Fluttershy squeaked.

“Don’t be scared, Fluttershy, we’ll be fine. I know it!” Rainbow said. “We’ll be..... fine. Yeah. Blaze won’t let me down.”

“Where are the rest of the Noble Six and Spike? Flare said they abandoned him, but… I don’t think it would be that simple. Something’s up with them.” Twilight assumed.

“For our sake, ah hope it was all a trick to get help.” AppleJack said.

“Or worse…. What if they got captured?!” Flutters asked as she started to freak out. “I don’t think I can take this!”

Discord appears on the balcony along with me and two representatives of the Trade Federation and Poggle the Lesser. Poggle started talking, but neither Discord nor I knew a word he was saying. “What did he say?” I asked.

“It sounds like he’s choking on something.” Discord said.

“See? I told him we shouldn’ve gone out for bufflo wings.” Nute Gunray of the Trade Federation complained.

“Why are you two here?” I asked.

“I actually summoned them to make things a little more like Star Wars.” Discord said.

“I was never in the Clone Wars series, but I really wanted to.” Rune Haako of the Trade Federation said.

“Yeah that’s nice, good-bye.” Discord said as he snapped his fingers and the two Trade Federation guys vanished. “They weren’t necessary.”

“I thought your magic didn’t work?” I asked him.

“They were holograms too. I can make holograms of anything, but they’re not that effective.” Discord said.

“Well it will soon, brah. I don’t even know what we’re doing here.” I said.

“Well, the boss said we should kill the Mane Six, but then I thought, that’s too harsh. I’m no murderer. I spread chaos, I don’t physically harm. That’s against my nature.” Discord explained.

“So what are we doing?” I asked.

“The weapon that was used to capture the Mane Six has been modified to suck the magic of friendship right out of them, completely! No princess letter can fix that. They will remain the opposite of themselves for life.” Discord explained.

“Good. Without the Elements of Harmony, they cannot stop you.” I said.

“Precisely!” Discord said. So a royal guard brings in a microphone and places it near Discord. “Uhh,,, a little higher, if you please?” The guard expands the microphone up to Discord’s height, which is… pretty tall; so tall not even the microphone will get up to his level, so Discord just shrinks before he speaks through it. He clears his throat and said, “Fillies and gentlecolts! Welcome to the Chaos Arena!” Discord said as the audience started cheering. “Now we’re going to have a great show tonight because we’re gonna give the Mane Six the mental pain they gave to my loyal apprentice and by extension me.”

“I thought you were the apprentice?” I asked him.

“Now our contract says we can’t give any physical pain, injuries, or death, so we’re just gonna hurt their feelings until they’ll beg for us to end their suffering, which will be at the hands off my client’s new weapon.” Discord said. “Fellow geonosians, I give you….” A couple of royal guards push out a giant weapon that is covered in a blanket. The guards remove the blanket revealing a huge weapon with plasma cells on it and a giant S logo on the side. “THE MATTER RAY! Which is a pretty stupid name he made up.” The audience cheered.

“What in blue blazes is that?!” AppleJack yelled.

“I’m not sure.” Twilight said.

“Wow, that’s a first.” Rainbow said sarcastically.

“My dear girls…” Discord teleported to them and said. “This device is what captured you in the first place, and now is being used to suck the magic of friendship right out of you!”

“That’s not possible!” Twilight yelled.

“We seen him do it already once.” Rainbow reminded her.

“Ok, Rainbow, you’re not really helping.” Twilight complained.

“Oh but Twilight, it IS possible! I mean, the magic of friendship is the most powerful magic in all of Equestria, I admit that.” Discord said. “But can your magic of friendship withstand… technology?” he asked as he dresses up as Ben Franklin with a kite and then he gets struck by holographic lightning.

“I… don’t know.” Twilight admitted.

“Well, lucky you, you’re about to find out. Just sit back and enjoy the show and you’ll soon find out how it will work.” Discord said as he teleported back to the stand. “Now let’s meet our stars! Our first star is a unicorn pony that’s great and powerful, knows great magic tricks, but got put down and kicked out of many towns after her poor performances. Time for her to regain her dignity! Please welcome, the Great and Powerful Trixie!” Trixie appears in the middle of the stadium, blowing kisses at the audience, waving, and smile at them, and firing fireworks made of liquid up in the air.

“She’s not a robot is she?” I asked.

“No she’s not.” Discord said.

“Ok good. Wouldn’t feel right having a twist like that again.” I said.

“Our next star is a griffin, not Peter Griffin, not Griffindore, but a mean scary machine! Put your hooves together for Gilda!” Gilda jumps out in the middle of the stadium, posing for the audience, and gives out loud roars.

“Gilda? I knew she was a bully, but not like this!” Rainbow panicked.

“Next we have a buffalo from the Equestrian desert. He’s a leader of a group of buffalos, and almost destroyed a town because they grew apple trees on their trails! Please give it up for the Chief Thunderhooves!” Discord said as Thunderhooves charges out, and knocks a pile of crates and the crates break, and T-Shirts start flying out into the crowd.

“Ah shoot. Ah thought we were friends with him now? This is gonna be a problem.” AppleJack said.

“Next is a dragon that loves to pick on smaller dragons, and steal phoenix eggs. He’s red, he breathes fire, and he’s Grable!” Discord said. Garble flies out into the arena, breathing fire out, juggling some gems, and then throwing them in his mouth.

“Wow. All that we had a conflict with in the passed seems to be in this arena, and they’re going to be hurting our feelings, real bad.” Rarity said.

“Our next lucky visitor was a former Ponyville hero, until her secret identity was revealed, but now a mysterious pony has taken her place, and is going to insult the happiness right outta them! Put your hooves in the air for the Mysterious Mare Do Well!” Discord said. Mare Do Well swings outside, and poses for everypony.

“What? The Mysterious Mare Do Well? But.... how?” Rainbow asked.

“We were the Mysterious Mare Do Well!” Twilight said. “H-how is that possible?”

“And finally we have another dragon, but not any ordinary dragon, this dragon has history with them. He’s not a little guy, that’s for sure. Because of the special gems we’ve given him in the caves, his inner greed has been released once again! Please welcome, Spike the Dragon!” Discord said.

“SPIKE?!” the Mane Six said at the same time. They all heard a roar coming from the sky. A huge dragon was climbing the stadium walls, and then he crashed down into the arena. Spike has grown to an adult dragon. He gave out a big roar, and breathed smoke on the Mane Six.

“Spikey-Wikey? What have they done to you?” Rarity asked in worry.

“Did you bring your ruby with you, Rarity? That’s what stopped him before.” Flutters asked.

“Nope, I left it home. We’re goners.” Rarity said.

“Wait… Spike is one of my traitors! Why is he in this?!” I complained.

“A dragon would do anything for greed. Give him what he wants and you two will be ‘bros for life’ once again.” Discord explained.

“How did you do it?” I asked.

“Those gems in the cave you left him in weren’t any ordinary gems. They helped his full body grow 10 sizes this day, and his heart 3 sizes smaller.” Discord said.

“Then in that case… HEY SPIKE, I GOT A WHOLE MINE FULL OF SPECIAL TREATS FOR YOU IF YOU DO WHAT WE SAY AND BE MY BRO FOR LIFE! CAPIECHE?!” Spike nodded as he roared at the Mane Six again.

“Now, let the insulting begin!” Discord said. So Trixie, Gilda, Thunderhooves, Grable, Mare Do Well, and Spike all glared at the Mane Six and began to throw insults at them.

“Hey Twilight, I burned all your books!” Trixie said. “All your books mean nothing. Princess Celestia is a terrible teacher.”

“AAAH! No! That’s not true!” Twilight cried.

“Hey Pinkie, your parties stink. Your cupcakes are terrible! You have no friends!” Gilda said.

“I know… you don’t have to remind me, jerk.” Pinkie said grumpily.

“Hey, Rainbow Dash? The Wonderbolts will never let you join them. The Sonic Rainboom is a weak trick. Blaze wants to break up with you for me white friend.” Garble said.

“BLAZE WOULD NEVER!” Rainbow yelled. “WAIT TILL I GET MY HOOVES ON YOU!”

“Hey AppleJack? Pears are best fruit ever-no, oranges are. You make the worst cider ever, and the Film Flam brothers should’ve taken over your farm. Also I officially destroyed Applelossa a couple of weeks ago.” Thunderhooves said.

“NO WONDER AH HAVEN’T HEARD FROM THEM IN AGES!” AppleJack yelled.

“Hey Fluttershy? You’re the worst animal taker ever. I bet they’d look good on my dining room table!” Mare Do Well said.

“WHAT?!” Fluttershy cried.

“Yes, they’ll gain lots of weight by eating all that food I serve for them on my dining room table! They’ll get fat, and all dirty!” Mare Do Well said.

“YOU MONSTER!” Fluttershy cried. “I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW YOU TALKED!”

“Hey Rarity? What’s purple and white, and full of dirt?” Spike asked.

“Don’t you dare!” Rarity yelled.

“ME!” Spike said as he covers himself in mud and melted marshmallow.

“AAAH! SPIKE DON’T GET YOURSELF DIRTY! I can’t stand to bear looking at another individual that looks like garbage!” Rarity whined. “Also the melted marshmallow thing seems a little racist.”

Discord began to laugh. “This is so fun! Hey Darth, how about passing me some popcorn?” I passed Discord the popcorn, but the popcorn bag just falls through his hand since he’s a hologram. “Oh, right.”

“MAKE THIS STOP!” Flutters yelled.

“Can’t… ignore it… any… longer! Losing… confidence….” AppleJack grunted and sweated.

“C’mon Flare, snap out of it!” Twilight yelled.

“No, Twilight, this is just you and me and saying how much history books make great camp fires.” Trixie said.

“NOT THE HISTORY BOOKS!” Twilight yelled.

From the balcony, behind Discord, a pony started walking towards him and I. It was Big Mac, and he just places an apple right in front of my face.

“Eeeyup.” he said. Discord turned around.

“Who are you? Get off the stand!” Discord demanded.

“Nnnnope.” Big Mac said.

“AppleJack, look!” Fluttershy pointed.

AppleJack gasped, “BIG MCINTOSH?!”

“Eeeyup!” Big Mac said mischievously. The Wonderbolts fly in the sky, and they start dropping bags of apples down at the arena. Trixie, Gilda, and the other antagonists all jump out of the way and take cover.

“The Wonderbolts!” Rainbow cried out in excitement. Some geonosians in the arena uncloaked themselves and they are revealed to be ponies from Ponyville. Bon Bon, Lyra, Derpy, Vinyl, Octavia, the Cakes, Zecora, the Doctor, Cheerilee, Black Thunder, Wind Racer, Keith, etc. The Wonderbolts fly down at the Mane Six, and unchained them. They also remove Twilight and Rartiy's metal rings from their horns so they can use their magic again. They also unstrap Rainbow Dash's and Fluttershy's wings so they can fly again.

“What in the world?!” Discord yelled.

“Excellent, excellent!” I said mischievously sounding like Mr. Burns.

“You know it really sounds better when I say that. I’m more of a Mr. Burns than you.” Discord said. “Anyways, what’s so excellent?”

“Just throwing the insults at the Mane Six? Where’s the fun in that? It is time to beat them in competition! We will fight them! It is time for an epic battle! Hatred is Epic!” I yelled.

“Hmm.... Interesting.” Discord said nodded. Pinkie sits there near the column, but then Spitfire goes down, and shoves a pizza in her mouth.

“Here, this should help, kid.” Spitfire said. Pinkie eats the pizza, and then she smiles and her mane goes back to normal. She jumps around in joy.

“IS THAT ONE OF MY PIZZAS?!” I yelled. “OH these ponies are SO dead!”

“I’m back to my old self again!” Pinkie cried out in excitement.

“An orange filly said some of Flare Gun’s pizzas would return a pony back to their original state. It looks like its true.” Spitfire said.

“It is true. I did say that.” I nodded. “TRIXIE, GRIFFIN, MARE DO WELL, BUFFILO WINGS, JERKY SPIKE, SPIKE, AFTER THE MANE SIX AND MAKE SURE YOU AVOID ALL PIZZAS!” I demanded.

“Yes, Darth Flare!” they all said as they all glared at the Mane Six. All the geonosians in the arena and all the royal guards were fighting the Ponyville reinforcements, so the Mane Six were left fighting past foes.

“Looks like it’s time to get this party started! HIT IT, VINYL!” Pinkie yelled. Vinyl Scratch, activates her DJ system and plays Barracuda by Heart.

“Oh yeah, baby! This is gonna get good!” Vinyl said.

“The Great and Powerful Trixie does not fight.” Trixie said.

“Well, we have no choice at this point! Let do this!” Gilda yelled. The Mane Six and the antagonists all charged at each other, but Twilight turned to me and started singing.

“So this ain’t the end, I saw you again! Today, had to turn my heart away.” Twilight sang to me.

“You smiled like the sun, kisses for every....!” Pinkie sang while hopping around and throwing chocolate kisses around.

“....One. And tales, it never fails.” Fluttershy sang as she whimpered and

“You lying so low in the weeds, bet you gonna ambush me.” Rarity sang as she looked at herself in a mirror until Gilda grabs it and breaks it.

“You had me down down down down on my knees....” Rainbow sang as she started kicking Gilda’s face with her knees.

“Now wouldn’t ya, Barracuda?” AppleJack sang. “Wow…. that was random.”

“I love singing about fish!” Pinkie said excitedly. “Like I love singing about having hydrophobia. That’s why I always drink soda instead of water.”

“Back over time, when we were all trying....” Trixie sang as she squirted Rarity and Fluttershy with some water squirted spell she was using.

“.... for free. Me up with porpoise and me.” Discord sang. “Ah ha! I got a chance to have dialogue!”

“No right no wrong your spelling a song!” Gilda sang as she bopped Rarity’s and AppleJack’s heads together.

“A naaaaame whisper game!” Garble sang as he used his firebreath on Rarity and Pinkie.

“And if the real thing don’t do the trick, you better make up something quick.” Thunderhooves sang as he headbutted Rarity and Twilight.

“You gonna burn burn burn burn burn out to the wick. Ooooooo....” Mare Do Well sang.

“Barracuda.” Spike sang.

“WHY IS EVERYPONY BEATING ON ME?!” Rarity complained as she brushed her hair and then threw it at Garble’s face.

“OW!” Garble yelled.

“Sell me sell you the porpoise said, dive down deep to save my head, you....” the Mane Six sang as they were fighting the antagonists.

“I think you got the blues too.” Twilight sang.

“All that night and all the next swam without looking back. Made for the western pools.” The antagonists sang as they were fighting the Mane Six.

“Silly silly fools.” Spike sang.

“The Mane Six is winning the battle! Barf Flare, do something!” Discord demanded.

“DARTH Flare!” I corrected him.

“ATTACK!” Discord demanded.

“My anger is strong now, I feel…” I jumped off the balcony but I fell on my stomach as the music cut off. I held my stomach and started grunting in pain much like Peter Griffin has when he hurt his knee. “Pfffft! AHHHHH! Pffffft! AHHHHHH! Pfffffft! AHHHHH!”

“Are you alright?” Thunderhooves asked.

“Gimmie a sec, gimmie a sec.” I said as I hurt my stomach in pain. “I am SO GLAD I didn’t eat anything big! Ugggh! Ok… ok… I’m good, let us continue.” The music started up again and I decided to test out my newly formed anger. I ran to the middle of the arena and started using my second-favorite spell. “IMMA FIRIN MAH SHOOP DA WHOO-WO-WO-WO-WO-WO-WOOP!” I yelled as I charged my horn and fired my laser at a column. The column started tipping over.

“BRAISE FOR IMPACT!” Spitfire yelled as everypony charged out of the way of the column as it fell down and the arena got all dusty.

“Well I’ll be damned. It’s working.” Discord nodded.

I walked towards the Mane Six as they were laying down on the ground as the dust cleared off. “And if the real thing don’t do the trick. No, you better make up something quick.” I sang. “You gonna burn burn burn burn burn out to the the wick! Aaaah barra-barracuda! Yeah!”

After a few more moments of everypony fighting, Twilight was fighting Trixie. Trixie kept squirting a ton of water on her. “Sweet Celestia, Trixie! What’s with you and water?” she complained.

“The Great and Poweful Trixie loves water. Just as much as the Great and Powerful Trixie loves the all mighty Discord!” Trixie said. “Oh, and I must say. Your spells and books and Celestia are stupid.” She laughs.

“Alright that’s it! I HAD IT WITH YOUR INSULTS!” Twilight yelled. Twilight fired a punch spell on Trixie and Trixie got knocked into the wall. “HA! Like that?!”

“Wow, Twilight, you’re bad!” Rainbow said shockingly. “I like it. I like dark Twilight.”

“I don’t know what’s happening to me. This mountain isn’t just getting the best of Flare, it might be getting the best of all of us.” Twilight said.

“Wait, Twilight, look.” Rainbow pointed to Trixie, who was lying on the ground and her body started to get all staticy.

“What in Celestia’s name is…” Twilight walks over to knocked-out Trixie and sees some sort of device on her wrist. Trixie’s form begins to change and it turns into the shape and form of Aquatic Armor. “Wait a minute… AQUATIC ARMOR?!”

“Whoa… trippy!” Rainbow commented.

“This device… what is this?” Twilight asked as she observes the device on his wrist. “Wait… this might be the reason why Aqua changed his form. Oh shoot…” Twilight turns Aqua’s passed out body around and sees the same red ‘S’ scar on his left eye. “He’s brainwashed too!”

“You’re dead, squirt!” Gilda taunted Pinkie.

“Oh, but I don’t think you and I were very well acquainted with my party cannon yet, Gilda!” Pinkie said as she takes out her party cannon and blasted it on Gilda. Gilda knocks into a column and passes out. “Yippie! I win! I NEVER leave home without my party cannon! Even captured!” Gilda’s form gets all staticy and her form changes into Psyche. “What the? PSYCHE?!” Twilight runs over to Psyche and sees the same changing device on his wrist as well as another ‘S’ scar on his eye.

Pinkie gasped. “GILDA IS A CHANGELING! Or maybe she was Psyche the whole time! The nerve!”

“This isn’t Gilda, and Psyche didn’t mean this.” Twilight explained. “Wait a minute… GIRLS, STOP FIGHTING THEM!”

“A little busy right now, Twilight.” AppleJack said as she was riding on Thunderhooves’ back. “Get along little buffalo!” AppleJack kept riding on Thunderhooves’ back and he starts going out of control and hits his head on the wall which knocks him out. Twilight uses her magic to destroy the device on Thunderhooves’ wrist, and his form turns into the shape of Engie.

“ENGIE?! What sort of trickery is this?!” AppleJack yelled.

“These aren’t our past foes! They’re the Noble Six!” Twilight yelled.

“Yes, and they’re better than ever! We’ll be friends forever… under Discord’s control!” I said.

“Blaze, is that you?” Rainbow asked Garble as he was about to pounce on her.

“Your husband is a freak. Why would you devote your life to a loser like him?” Garble asked.

“Because I love him! I always will! You’re him, so snap out of it!” Rainbow demanded.

“Why would I be that freakshow?” Garble asked. “My name is Garble even though my name is never mentioned, so how does everypony know who I am?”

“Yeah Chrysalis has that same problem.” Rainbow said. “But no! It’s you! You’re Blaze Goldheart! You’re a Wonderbolt! You’re a draconian with phoenix powers! Remember me, Blaze. Remember me…” she begged.

“I… I…” Garble startled. “R-R-Rainbow…. I’m…. I’m…..” But before Garble can come to his nonexisting instincts, AppleJack bucks Garble, knocking him out, and Twilight uses her magic to take out the changing device on Garble’s waist.

“Oh c’mon, I was about to get to him!” Rainbow complained.

“I think him is a her, Rainbow.” AppleJack pointed. Just then Garble changes his form to change into the shape of Crystal Iceblast.

“H-h-h-HOW?!” Rainbow yelled. “She was breathing fire! Only Blaze can do that!”

Just then, Mare Do Well was thrown right into the wall and her changing device fails and turns into the shape of Blaze. Fluttershy felt a little nervous. “Umm… did I do that? I’m sorry.”

“Did you just beat Mare Do Well up, Fluttershy?” Rarity asked.

“No. I just whimpered here on the ground right as she was about to tackle me. She seemed to miss.” Fluttershy explained.

“Why would the Noble Six do this? Did Discord have something to do with this as well?” AppleJack asked.

“Discord is all chaotic magic, not technology. Not to mention Discord is just a hologram, which must mean… somepony else must be responsible for all this, but who?” Twilight asked.

“You are certainly smart, Twilight Sparkle.” Discord said. “But you haven’t won yet.”

“We’re free, Discord, and once we find your stoned body…” Twilight started.

“HA! Stoned!” Pinkie laughed as she forgets that I just made that joke in the beginning of this chapter.

“We’re going to disable that hologram projector and put an end to all this!” Twilight said.

“Not if my apprentice has anything to say about this.” Discord said mischievously.

“Evil lawl lawl lawl!” I said as I aimed the matter cannon right at the Mane Six.

“Flare… don’t do it.” Twilight warned me.

“I’m actually trying to right now, but I have NO idea how to control this thing.” I said.

“Press the big red button.” Discord instructed me.

“Really? Because big red buttons always lead to something bad.” I said.

“JUST PRESS IT!” Discord demanded. I had to obey my master, so I pressed the big red button and I fired the cannon right at the Mane Six. A shockwave gets shot out of the cannon, but even though the Mane Six were affected by the blast, it was more like just a force push to them.

“Ah ha! Well done, Darth Flare! I had complete confidence in you!” Discord said.

“Ugh!” Twilight rubbed her head and regained her senses. “Are you girls ok?”

“Ah feel….. ah…. Don’t feel any different.” AppleJack said.

“Yeah me neither.” Rarity said.

“I feel differenter than different!” Pinkie said.

“Say what now? Darth, didn’t you just fire the cannon at them to suck the friendship right out of them?” Discord asked.

“Ooooooh, you weren’t really being pacific on which mode you wanted- SHUT UP I CAN’T SAY PACIFIC RIGHT WAY!” I yelled.

“So you just used the same shockwave we used to capture them on them again, huh?” Discord asked.

“Pretty much, yeah.” I nodded.

“We can’t stay here.” Rainbow whispered. “We have to disable Discord’s hologram and find a way to cure the Noble Six and the guards.”

“Let’s look around the mountain and see what we can find.” Twilight advised them.

“Right, let’s get moving!” Rainbow said as the Mane Six began to escape the arena where the Ponyville reinforcements were beating the mind-controlled guards and geonosians. Just as the Mane Six exit the arena, the arena cage door closes with Twilight still on the other side.

“TWILIGHT?!” the Mane Six cried.

Twilight attempted to use her magic to get the gate opened, but it wouldn’t budge. AppleJack did the same by bucking the cage, but still nothing. “I can’t get this opened!” Twilight yelled.

“Neither can us.” Fluttershy said.

“Yep, neither can us.” Rainbow agreed.

“Neither can us? Really? Ah did all the work. Y’all just stood there helplessly.” AppleJack reminded them.

“Heeeeey ladies!” I said. Twilight turned around and saw me and adult Spike who was standing behind me. “What’s the rush? The show’s not over yet!”

Twilight turned back to her friends and said, “Go on without me. I’ll take care of him.”

“Be careful darling!” Rarity said.

“We’ll take care of Discord.” AppleJack said.

“Also pleeeeeease don’t harm Flare that much, Twilight!” Fluttershy begged. “He did not mean any of this. Please don’t hate him!”

“It’s ok, Fluttershy. I will do what I need to do. I will help Flare be cured of this curse, you’ll see.” Twilight said.

“Maybe I should stay and help you.” Fluttershy thought.

“No, Fluttershy, you have to help stop Discord. I promise… I pinkie promise that Flare will be safe.” Twilight swore as she places her hoof on her eye.

“C’mon, Flutters, you can trust Twilight to take care of him.” AppleJack said to her. Fluttershy was a little nervous, but she went with it. The Mane Five all ran off to find stoned Discord. No I’m not making that joke again, we already said it twice. Third time’s the grave. Twilight turned over to me and poses in her attack position.

“You should’ve never betrayed me, Twilight. We would’ve been home by now, safe and sound. But you decided to put me down! Surrender, and turn yourself over to Discord, and we will be friends once again. Equestria will be better, sista!” I promised.

“Flare, Discord tricked you. We would never put you down like that!” Twilight said.

“But you did. I saw it with my own eyes, heard it with my own ears, smelled it with my own nose, tasted it with my own mouth, and even touched it with my own… umm… join us, Twilight!” I demanded.

“No.” Twilight said.

“But Light, don’t you understand? Discord has already won. There’s no stopping him. He wants to make Equestria a better place.” I said.

“Yeah, for himself!” Twilight said.

“For everypony! We will spread the lulz like it’s meant to spreaded! Spread the lulz like butter! Please, Twilight, join us, and we will be friends again, I assure you!” I promised.

“Never!” Twilight yelled as Spike roared.

“Never say never.” I said. “You still have a chance to change your mind, not like when Derpy didn’t have the chance to change her joke.”

A cutaway shows Derpy talking to Pinkie Pie. “Hey, Pinkie. Knock, knock!” she said.

Pinkie chuckled and said, “Who’s there?”

“Hey, guess what?” Derpy asked.

“What?” Pinkie asked.

“To get to the other side!” Derpy said and laughed. Pinkie didn’t laugh though.

“That is a very old joke, Derpy.” Pinkie said. The cutaway ends.

Kay, sista, if you’re gonna be that way. SPIKE ATTACK!” I yelled. Spike roared and Twilight’s horn begins to glow, but Twilight cannot harm her number one assistant.

“I…..I cannot fight you two! Spike is my number one assistant, and you’re my friendship student, Flare! I will not stand to your level. You two are brainwashed, and I will not let my emotions get the best of me. Even if rumors and gossip go around and if even if they are true, what makes you think I can think differently of my friends? I know what is true. Discord has brainwashed you, and I don’t blame you, Flare!”

“How many times are you going to say the word ‘you’?” I asked.

“No matter what curse Discord’s put on you, and no matter how many of those insults you gave me, you are always a dear friend of us, Flare Gun, and there is nothing that disharmony can do to stop that!” Twilight explained.

“But Twilight don’t you…. AAAH!” I yelled. My eyes began to switch between blue to red. Twilight knew for sure she was close to snapping me out of the curse.

“That’s right, Flare… this isn’t you. You’re a nice pony. Fight, Flare! Fight!” Twilight persuaded me. The inner me was really trying to fight. I really didn’t want to be a jerk. I lost the will to make once, and I will not let it happen again! Even though I was no problem to Twilight at this time, Spike was still. Spike roared and began breathing fire at Twilight’s direction. Twilight dodges out of the way, but as she dodges she trips. Spike was about to finish Twilight off, but suddenly, Spike gets hit in the head with an anvil and he passes out. Up in the sky were the Cutie Mark Crusaders riding my Wafflecopter.

“Bullseye!” Sweetie Belle yelled.

“Why does Flare keep an anvil in here anyway?” Scootaloo asked.

“HEY! That’s my Wafflecopter!” I yelled. “YOU STOLE MY WAFFLECOPTR!”

“Look out below!” Sweetie Belle said while dropping a slice of pizza in Spike’s mouth.

“HEY! THOSE ARE MY PIZZAS! YOU BETTER HAVE PAID FOR THAT!” I yelled. Spike started to smile and then he started shrinking back to his regular self.

“Hmm hmm! That was so good! I’m back to normal! Woo hoo!” Spike cried out in excitement.

“NOOOO! That wasn’t supposed to happen! Stop using my own pizzas to defeat us!” I demanded. “We can’t lose! Discord wins!”

“No, Flare. Discord lost. You won. You were in our side all along!” Twilight said.

“THE POWER OF THE WIZARDS OF HOPE, STRENGTH, AND FEELINGS COMPELS YOU!” I yelled as I activated my hornsaber.

“Flare, I don’t want to fight you.” Twilight said.

“IT’S DARTH FLARE! DAAAAAARRRRTH!” I corrected her.

“Fine, you wanna do this retro? Fine, let’s do this retro.” Twilight said. “I never done this before. I hope it works.” Twilight starts grunting, and her horn starts glowing.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“Facing you with your own magic!” Twilight said. As Twilight was trying hard to copy my spell, her horn lit and she activates her own hornsaber.

“I see you have constructed a new hornsaber.” I nodded. “Mine’s bigger than yours though, lawl! And you never even trained. This is gonna be easy-cheesy!”

“Twilight? Flare? What’s going on?” Spike asked.

“Spike, go on. Save yourself.” Twilight demanded.

“But Twlight!” Spike whined.

“I’ll catch up with you later. Just go! NOW!” Twilight demanded.

“Be careful! You too Flare!” Spike said as he runs off, but then he gets stopped by the Noble Six.

“Where are you going little dragon?” Crystal asked.

“The Great and Powerful Trixie will never let ya through!” Aqua yelled.

“Uhh... you guys alright? Why do you have ugly looking scars on your faces?” Spike asked. Psyche roared in Spike’s face like Gilda. “Stay down there if you know what’s good for you, twerp!”

“Okay, this is awkward.” Spike said as he then started to run pass them.

“Hey, he’s getting away! The great Mare Do Well will never let him get away!” Blaze yelled. They all started chasing him.

“Let’s do this thang, sister! C’mon! C’mon!” I started jumping from my left legs to my right legs, preparing to fight Twilight. “Let’s do this! C’mon! Ooo, ooo, ooo, you scared Twilight? You scared? Scared to face me? C’mon bring it on! C’mon, my legs are getting tired, let’s do this!” Just then Twilight started charing at me and we started having a hornsaber battle. Meanwhile, inside the mountain, the Mane Six were running across through the corridors, trying to find Discord’s statue.

“You girls find anything yet?” AppleJack asked.

“Not yet, dear.” Rarity said. “Seriously, this place needs to get cleaned up.”

“AAAAAH!” Spike yelled as he ran across the halls and jumps up on Rainbow Dash’s face.

“Spike, please get off my face.” Rainbow mumbled.

“Guys, the Noble Six! They’ve gone loco!” Spike freaked out.

“That’s ridiculous. They’ve changed back to their regular selves!” AppleJack thought.

“No you don’t understand. They’re minds are still programed to what Discord made them!” Spike explained.

“Don’t be silly, Spike! The Noble Six are our friends! They would never hurt us!” Pinkie said.

Psyche lunged at Pinkie and put her in a head-lock. “Got you now, shrimp!” he said.

“Psyche? What are you doing? Is this a wrestling game we’re doing?” Pinkie asked.

“Psyche? Who’s Psyche? I’m Gilda, remember? Idiot!” Psyche reminded her.

“Seriously, what’s going on here?” Flutters asked just as Blaze jumps on top of her.

“For great justice!” Blaze yelled.

“None of you can outmatch the power of the Great and Powerful Trixie!” Aqua yelled as he soaks Rarity.

“AAAH! Why is everypony attacking me the most?!” Rarity complained.

“Y’alkl will think twice before putting apples in mah path! Applelossa is done for, AppleJack!” Engie said.

“I never put apples anywhere near your path, Engie.” AppleJack corrected him.

“No, but yer cousin did. After you’re done, he’s next! My buffalo stampede will destroy your town and there’s nothing ya can do to stop us!” Engie said.

“Oh… so ya didn’t attack Applelossa yet. Phew.” AppleJack said in relief. “Ya really scared me there for a sec, sugarcube.”

Rainbow Dash started walking backwards, but then Crystal popped up behind her. “How’s it going, squirt?” Crystal asked mischievously.

“Crystal, I… why am I stuck with Crystal? I wanna help Blaze snap out of it!” Rainbow complained.

“She’s talking jibberish. For justice and peace in Equestria, they shall all be burnt to the stake!” Blaze yelled.

“Oh c’mon! Mare Do Well wasn’t even that harsh.” AppleJack complained.

“Enough talk! Let us finish this!” Psyche yelled.

“Trixie does not agree more.” Aqua said as the Noble Five began to attack the Mane Five.

Meanwhile, back with Twilight and I were still having our hornsaber duel. So far, both of us were doing well. We both jumped backwards and both began strafing to our right, preparing for our next move. “Princess Celestia has taught you well.” I said. “If you went with Luna, maybe you would’ve been better, like I.”

“Flare, one princess isn’t better than the other. All I know is… friendship overpowers all threats.” Twilight said.

“I can feel it. I can feel your anger, sista! How does it feel?” I asked. “You should join me. And together, with our combined powers, we can free Discord, and rule Equestria! Together! We’ll forget about our little disagreement before, and you can make up for what you’ve done to me, if you join us!”

“I’LL NEVER JOIN YOU!” Twilight yelled.

“Well I always said ‘I’ll never play Amnesia’, but after a little while ago, I can’t stop playing!” I said.

“That’s different.” Twilight said.

“Yeah, that’s different, that’s different. Why do you have to think you’re smarter than everypony, Twilight?” I complained.

“I read ‘How to be a smart-flank, for eggheads’ a little while ago.” Twilight said.

“Is that supposed to be a rip-off of a ‘for dummies’ book?” I asked.

“For what?” Twilight asked.

“For dummies.” I said.

“I… I don’t follow.” Twilight said confusingly.

“No matter, let us finish this!” I said as the two of us continued hornsaber dueling.

Meanwhile back in the cave corridors, the Noble Five still surrounded the Mane Five. “Stop struggling, you little twerp!” Psyche demanded as he still has Pinkie in a head-lock.

“Psyche, snap out of it! You’re not meanie griffin!” Pinkie yelled. “Griffins are bad! Griffins are jerks! Griffins are bullies!”

A cutaway shows a griffin reading my story. “Wow… this story is very racist.” He complained. The cutaway ends.

“Careful with my hair, darling!” Rarity begged.

“Nopony tells the Great and Powerful Trixie what to do!” Aqua yelled.

“I miss the kind Aqua that doesn’t yell and spit on me all the time.” Rarity complained as she wipes her face.

“There’s gotta be something we can do to snap them outta this spell.” AppleJack said.

“Shut it, Apple! Yer an apple!” Engie yelled.

“Ya think callin me an apple is insulting?” AppleJack asked.

“Ah’ll smash ya like an apple!” Engie yelled. “Oh dang, ah’m hungry for some apple pie. Maybe a pizza pie better yet.”

“Wait a minute.” Spike began to think. He remembers back when he was spazing out when the Mane Six got captured, I gave him one of my emergency pizzas to help him calm down, this lead to Spike getting an idea. Spike reaches inside one of the Noble Six’s bags that were hanging in the corner and took out a pizza. “This will definitely help!”

“What’s that for?” Rainbow asked.

“Flare said if somepony is not themselves, feed them a pizza and they’ll feel like their old selves again. That’s what the crusaders gave me to shrink me back to my original self.” Spike explained.

“So what are ya waitin’ for then?! Feed the Noble Six that pizza!” AppleJack demanded.

“Huh?” Spike asked as he was about to eat the pizza. “Oh… feed them the pizza. I guess that can work too.” Spike rips up little pieces of the pizza and stuffs each little part in the Noble Five’s mouths. The Noble Five began to grunt and wheeze as they held their heads and their ‘S’ scars began to disappear. “Yep! Order up!” Spike said mischievously.

Crystal burped and said, “Oh snap…”

“What happened?” Engie asked. “Why ah do ah have a spicy taste in mah mouth?”

“And why do I feel like I have to pass gas multiple times?” Psyche asked as he held his stomach. “Did I just eat dairy?!”

“PSYCHE, YOU’RE BACK!” Pinkie yelled in excitement as she tacklehugged him.

“What happened?” Aqua asked. “Where are we?”

“Did Discord’s experiment fail or something?” Blaze asked.

“BLAZE! THANK GOODNESS!” Rainbow cried out in excitement and hugged him, but she realizes she’s being a little too over enthusiastic so she clears her throat and said calmly, “Good to have you back, Blaze.”

“What happened? Why does my eye hurt so much?” Engie asked.

“And why does my throat hurt from yellin’ so much?” Aqua asked.

“My friends that is a pretty long story.” Pinkie said as she put her arm around Aqua, which made Aqua a little feel uncomfortable. “We will explain it all to you as the scene changes so we don’t explain the obvious to those who already know and bore them to death.”

Back with Twilight and I, we were still dueling, but very violently. “FLARE! STOP THIS! STOP IT NOW!” Twilight yelled.

“I’ll stop if you surrender!” I said.

“Will you stop with this, Flare?! YOU’RE BEING ANNOYING!” Twilight yelled.

“I KNEW YOU THOUGHT OF ME LIKE THAT!” I yelled.

“No... wait, Flare! I didn’t mean it!” Twilight begged.

My hornsaber glew very bright and very powerful. Just then, I swung it on Twilight’s horn and her horn gets cut in half. "WHOA! That was epic! I didn't know my hornsaber could do that! Leet!"

“NOO! My horn!” Twilight yelled.

“Evil lawl lawl lawl! Now what were you saying about winning and losing? Oh yeah, I win, and you…… didn’t win! AH HA!” I yelled. Twilight backs away from Flare slowly and I started walking slowly towards her. “You can’t beat me, Twilight. I’m Flare Gun! The awesomeist of all possums! The leetest of the leet! The best of the best! Now feel dat Mareami heat! All I wanted was friends, Twilight. Friends. You and your friends really hurt me bad, same with the Noble Six. Your betrayal will never be forgiven, unless you joined me, and we will free Discord!”

“I’LL NEVER JOIN YOU!” Twilight yelled.

“Discord never told you what happened to your friend Flare.” I said.

“He killed him! He killed my friend Flare, and replaced him with an evil version of him!” Twilight yelled.

“No, Twilight...... I.... AM YOUR FRIEND!” I said mischievously.

“NOOOOOOOOO!” Twilight yelled, but then she stopped and smiled. “Wait, really?”

“No, wait. That didn’t come out right.” I said to myself. “Now where was I? Ah yes. Join me, and together we’ll rule Equestria as friends! Evil ah ha!”

Twilight just stood there against the wall, she looked down, and then she said to herself, “Nope… no abyss.”

Meanwhile, the Mane Five and the Noble Five run back to the prison area. Waiting for them was Discord and Shining Armor. “FREEZE DISCORD!” Rainbow yelled.

“Is that supposed to be a pun about my stoned statue form?” Discord asked. “Seriously, that’s insulting. I feel so offended.” Discord spawns a box of tissues in his paw and blows his nose and wipes his tears. “How can you be so cruel?”

“Drop the act, Discord! Where’s your statue?” AppleJack asked.

“But this is my home. Can’t I feel comfortable in my own home? I swear, you ponies are very rude houseguests, much like a wasp.

A cutaway shows a bumblebee and a wasp talking. “Hi, I’m a bee.” The bee said.

“And I’m a wasp.” The wasp said. “And we’re to tell you the difference between our species so you wouldn’t get confused.

“Now I pollinate flowers, make honey, improve the environment, and I only sting when our territory is invaded, and after I sting I die.” The bee said.

“And me… well I’m just a jerk and I sting you whenever I feel like it.” The wasp said. “So I wouldn’t be a welcomed house guest.”

“Neither would I, but then again, I wouldn’t come in unless you have a flower in your house.” The bee said.

“Also I’m a jerk and I’ll sting you whenever I feel like it.” The wasp said again.

“It’s too bad mosquito couldn’t come to this meet.” The bee said to the wasp.

“Yeah, too bad he’s in therapy to get over his light addiction.” The wasp said. The cutaway ends.

“Now then, you’re not going anywhere near me! Once my apprentice comes, he’ll set me free, and there’s nothing you can do to stop me!” Discord said. “Shining Armor, finish them!”

“With pleasure!” Shining said. “GUARDS!” Just then, the guards pick up Discord’s statue and throws it in an escape pod.

“Do we have anymore of those pizzas?” Crystal asked.

“No, we used them all up.” Blaze said.

“Game over, man! Game over!” Rarity cried out. “Wow…. never thought I’d say that.”

“Guys, if evil Flare taught me something.... IT’S THIS!” Pinkie yelled as she takes out a garlic roll and throws it at Shining Armor’s mouth. “BULLS EYE!” she cried.

“Mmm! Delicious!” Shining said. “But still, you’re too late! Don’t worry, Lord Discord, you’ll be safe!”

“Ha ha! We shall meet again Mane Six AND Noble Six. If Darth Flare is still under my control, there’s nothing you can do! I win!” Discord laughed as he changes his form to look like the Joker from Batman. Shining closes the escape pod and the escape pod gets launched out of the mountain, and Discord launches out of sight, as well as his hologram that disappears since his statue is out of range.

“Well… all’s well that ends well.” Shining said. “Good job, Mane and Noble Six!”

“Good job? Wow, we lost and then Shining said great job! Sounds pretty amazing!” Pinkie said excitedly.

“Wait… Shining? You’re not brainwashed at all, are you?” Psyche asked.

“You catch on pretty quick, Psyche.” Shining said as he wipes the ‘S’ scar from his eye, as well as the other guards.

“But wait… weren’t you all cursed under Discord’s spell?” Rarity asked.

“We were, but during your fight with the Noble Six in the guise of your enemies, some of your friends from Ponyville cured us by feeding us Flare’s pizzas. Then we had a plan to make Discord THINK we’re still under his control, and trick him into going into an escape pod, and now he’s gone.” Shining explained.

“So where did ya sent him to?” Aqua asked.

“Back into the Canterlot gardens where he belongs, and this time, we’re going to make sure he’s under close guard.” Shining said. “Also we’ll be sure to dismantle the hologram projector.”

“FLARE!” Fluttershy yelled. “We need to make sure he’s ok!”

“I’ll get on that. You all get into another escape pod and get outta here!” Shining instructed them.

“I have to make sure my friend goes back to normal and make sure he doesn’t think of anything funny.” Blaze said.

“I assure you, Blaze, that Flare will be kept safe. For now, get into the escape pod; GO!” Shining demanded. So the Noble Five, the Mane Five, and Spike all went inside one of the escape pods. Engie hopped onto the driver’s seat and pressed random buttons.

“So ya know how to control this thing, mate?” Aqua asked.

“Not really. Ah’m just pressin’ random buttons in levers until somethin’ happens.” Engie said. “Oh here we go! Buckle up!”

“You can’t say ‘buckle’ without ‘le’!” Crystal said.

“Or ‘buck’.” Psyche added.

“Oooo clever! I never thought of that!” Crystal nodded. Just then Engie launches the escape pod out of the mountain and they all begin flying back towards Everfree Forest.

Meanwhile with Twilight and I at the arena, all the geonosians were gone, and the Ponyville folk all fled the area. Twilight was leaning towards the wall, defenseless. “It is your destiny, sista! Join us or feel the wrath of my hornsaber!” I yelled.

“I’ll never join Discord. Flare, you maybe a big jerk on the outside, but on the inside is that sweet, funny, old Flare Gun that I’ve used to know.” Twilight said in a weak voice. “And there’s nothing anypony can do to take that away from you. You are what you are, and I respect your personality. No matter what you say, no matter what Discord does. You’re still my friend.”

“That’s very sweet, Twilight. I’m touched. I’ll never forget that. Smiley face.” I said with a smile. Twilight smiled along. “But I’m still gonna beat you with this thing, evil laughs!” Flare started beating Twilight with his hornsaber, but like a baseball bat, or a nightstick.

“OW! OW! I don’t care! OW! OW! You’re still my-OW-friend!” Twilight explained.

“HA HA! Now I’m gonna laugh evilly with my mouth opened wide.” I said as I began to laugh evilly, and just as we all expected, the Cutie Mark Crusaders dropped a pizza out of the sky and it landed in my mouth.

“Order up!” Sweetie Belle said mischievously

I stopped beating Twilight and ate it. “Hmm. That’s my pizza! It’s so good! Best pizza in Equestrria, brah! But wait... I’m starting to feel.... something. Oh wait… this is the smart where I hold my head and grunt as I return back to normal. Am I right?” I asked Twilight.

“I think so.” Twilight nodded.

“I figured.” I said as I covered my head with my hooves, and I started grunting and yelling. I fall on the ground and started rolling around and holding my face until my scar disappeared and my eyes returned back to normal. I just laid there, breathing for a few moments, but just then, I regained my senses and said, “Uhhh... Twilight?”

“Yeah?” Twilight asked.

“Why do I have the Barracuda song stuck in my head?” I asked.

“FLARE! YOU’RE BACK!” Twilight cried out in excitement as she gave me a hug.

“I know..... and sad thing is..... I remember everything.” I said.

Just then, Shining Armor and the guards ran over to us. “Twilie! Are you ok?”

“Shining, thank goodness! You’re back to normal!” Twilight said in relief as she hugged him. “Where are the rest of our friends?”

“Escape pod, as well as the rest of the Ponyville folk, and Discord has been defeated once again. We’re the only ones left on the mountain.” Shining explained.

“Good. How we going to get outta here?” Twilight asked.

“HEY CRUSADERS! DOWN HERE!” I yelled

“We’re comin, Flare!” Apple Bloom said as she lowers the Wafflecopter down to us. Shining Armor, his guards, and Twilight all hoped inside. Twilight was a little curious to why I haven’t yet.

“Flare, get in!” Twilight demanded.

“No, there’s still something I have to do here! Go on without me!” I demanded.

“WHAT!? Flare we are NOT leaving you!” Twilight yelled.

“I’ll be fine, I promise. I mean like Cortana from Halo says, ‘don’t make a girl a promise, if you know you can’t keep it’, and I NEVER break promises!” I said.

“I don’t play Halo, but… I can’t let you do this! I won’t have you sacrifice yourself! GET IN!” Twilight demanded.

“I won’t sacrifice myself. I’m too precious to die. Look at me, look how handsome I am, look how awesome I am. I’m the main character of this story… I cannot die!” I said.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, but… I won’t have you risk it!” Twilight yelled.

“Go ahead, Twilight. Let’s keep arguing. We’ll never get outta here, and there’s a risk to whoever’s in charge of this to return and set this plan in motion again. I have to destroy the mountain, but if you want to keep arguing, I guess that’s up to you.” I said in an uncaring tone.

“UGH! I’m bored! Let’s just go!” Scootaloo complained.

“Don’t worry, Twilie, he said he’ll be fine.” Shining said with his arm around his sister.

“NO!” Twilight yelled. “I can’t let him do this! I’m getting out!”

“Ok, but can you survive a 600 foot drop?” Scootaloo asked as the Wafflecopter was already flying and out of the mountain.

“Wow that was fast.” Twilight said surprisingly.

Back at the mountain, it was up to me now, time to redeem myself! I have to destroy the mountain! I ran over to the matter weapon and began to mess with it’s controls. To be completely honest, I was a little scared thinking I would sacrifice myself, but I can’t lie to Twilight. I hate it when I’m lied to, and I cannot do the same thing back, but I had to do this. “HEY CHAOS MOUNTAINS?!” I shouted, but it didn’t respond since it was a mountain. “TIME TO FEEL DAT MAREAMI HEAT! PRAISE THE WIZARDS! SHTAIRS! LAWL LAWL LAWL LAWL LAWL!” I pressed the button of the cannon and it fires and the impact blows up the whole mountain. A giant explosion filled the whole area and smoke filled the sky. Chaos Mountain was done for, as well as the matter weapon that captured the Mane Six in the first place was also destroyed, but my fate… well………. that remains to be seen.

Meanwhile at Everfree Forest where all the escape pods landed, the Wafflecopter also lands there and Twilight, Shining, the crusaders and the guards hop out.

“We did it! We made it!” Crystal cried out in excitement. “And I’m hungry for tacos. So are we gonna go out for tacos?”

“Ah’m in!” Engie said.

“Me too!” Pinkie said excitedly.

“Twilight! Crusaders! You made it!” Blaze said excitedly.

“But…. where’s Flare?” Fluttershy asked. Twilight was pretty worried. None of them said anything.

"Jeez Twilight, what happened to your horn?" Crystal asked.

“Wait... Flare’s not with ya?” Engie asked.

“NO! You didn’t leave him there in the mountain because there was no way of curing him and you didn’t forgive him for saying all those mean things to you so you just let him stay there, did you?! YOU MURDERERS!” Spike yelled.

“HE ASKED US TO GO, ALRIGHT?!” Twilight yelled angrily.

“Oh… sorry.” Spike said upsettingly.

“We returned him back to his original state, but he stayed to destroy the mountain, but he promised that he’d come back, and now I’m awaiting his promise.” Twilight said.

"Flare, is the most awesome friend a pony can ask for. He maybe rough around the edges, but he’s still pretty badflank.” Blaze said.

“He’s probably even more awesome than you, Blaze.” Rainbow said.

“Maybe you too, Rainbow.” Blaze nodded.

“Whoa, let’s not go that far.” Rainbow stopped him.

Aqua sniffled. "It's almost like I can hear his screaming right now." Aqua nodded. Just then a scream gets heard in the background. "Wait, I do hear some screaming.”

"LOOK OUT!" Crystal yelled as fireball was falling from the sky. All the ponies jumped out of the way, and the fireball landed in between them. The dust cleared, and it turned out to me, covered in a plasma effect.

"GHOST OF FLARE, AAAAAH!” Pinkie freaked out.

"Is that his Armor Lock spell?" Engie asked.

"Looks like it. Looks like his Armor Lock actually saved his life." Blaze said.

"Well Flare, I take back all I said about Armor Lock being an annoying spell. I do apologize." Psyche said. I turned off my Armor Lock spell, stood up, and didn't say a word.

"Great to have ya back, sugarcube!” AppleJack said. I didn’t respond, in fact, I just ran away.

“Nice work, AppleJack. You scared him off.” Crystal said sarcastically to her.

“Did the explosion make him crazy or somethin’?” Engie asked.

"Wait! Flare where you going?" Rainbow called out. The Mane Six, the Noble Five, and Spike all followed me.

“What’s goin’ on?” Apple Bloom asked.

“I think it’s best we return home, and let them handle this. Let’s tell the princesses that the mission was a success.” Shining said.

“Eeyup.” Big Mac agreed as him and everypony else walked off back home. Meanwhile, everypony that followed me found me by a lake. I was just sitting there, looking at the cake and… I MEAN LAKE, sorry! Do you ever get that problem with if a word sounds similar to another you say that by accident? Let me know in the comments below. Anyways I was sitting there by the lake, not saying a word, and just staring down at it.

"Flare? Are you okay, buddy?" Spike asked. I didn't say anything.

"Flare, you're a hero!” Rarity said. “You should be very proud of yourself.”

"Sniff. I'm no hero." I said. "All this time I was brainwashed by Discord. Then I.... insulted you all, threatened to end you, and..... and even...... threw garlic rolls at you."

"Flare, it's okay." Rainbow Dash said as she placed her hoof on my shoulder. "You didn't mean it. You were tricked."

"I..... I'm sorry.” I said as I held my hooves on my eyes. The Mane Six, and the Noble Six comforted me.

"There there, sugarcube. It's alright. We accept your apology." AppleJack said.

"Darling, you risked your life to save ours, and if that's not true friendship, I don't know what is." Rarity said.

"We'll never forget it, Flare." Twilight said.

"You are the funnest, funniest, sweetiest pony we know! We can never dis you!" Pinkie said. “That in unless you feed my broccoli, in that case, you’re dead to me.” Everypony glared at her.

"Sniff. You mean that?" I asked.

"Of course they do.” Aqua said.

“Ahem, he was talking to them.” Crystal reminded him.

“So you all didn’t betray me?” I asked the Noble Six.

"Bro, I was standing there by your side the whole time. I promised I wouldn’t leave you. How can I betray you after all that?” Blaze asked.

“The Noble Six sticks together, no matter what.” Aqua said.

“If I had all the gems in the world to trade for your friendship…. I wouldn’t trade it, but still I’d trade in a quarter of my stash at least.” Spike admitted.

“No matter what happens, Flare, we’re always a team, no matter what.” Psyche said.

“You said, ‘no matter what’ twice.” Crystal pointed out.

“Wait a minute… how do I know you all forgive me? How do I know this just isn’t a scam to help me feel better? I’m not stupid.” I asked.

“Flare… son Flare.” Fluttershy placed her hoof on my shoulder.

“Mama Fluttershy….” I said.

“Flare…. Having you back is better than a guy at work deciding that he wants to work.” Fluttershy said.

A cutaway shows a guy sitting at his desk at his job. “Well… I’m officially bored at work. Might as well work.” The guy said. The cutaway ends.

I was shocked. “Flutters, you…. You….. you did a…. cutaway gag!” I said shockingly.

“For you, Flare. I did a cutaway gag for you, and trust me it wasn’t easy.” Flutters admitted.

“Yeah I helped her out.” Pinkie said with a smile and squee.

“It doesn’t matter. It proves it. You do forgive me, and…. Wow…. this is…. Mane Six you never seize to amaze me!” I said.

“Here you go, Flare.” Twilight said as she gave me a rolled my scroll of some sort.

“What’s this? Shouldn’t you give this to Spike?” I asked.

“No it’s yours, Flare! It’s your diploma! You passed! We’ve taught you so much about friendship that we have nothing left to teach you, well personally.” Twilight explained. “I mean… we ourselves still have a lot to learn about friendship, and you do too, but now, you’re officially an expert on it, and I am proud of you!”

“So you just carried this with you the whole time?” I asked.

“Actually it’s just a rolled up empty scroll, I’ll give you a proper diploma when we get home.” Twilight said.

"Well… it appears everything is going to be A-ok.” I nodded. “But something still puzzles me.”

“Princess Celestia will fix my horn, don’t worry.” Twilight said.

“No, it’s not that.” I said. “It’s-“

“Yeah I’m still wondering the same thing. Why are you still wearing that Darth Flare outfit?” Crystal asked.

“Oh shush, this thing looks good on me! I’m gonna wear it for Nightmare Night!” I said. “Anyways, what puzzles me is… Discord kept saying something about a doctor.”

"Doctor Who?" Engie asked.

"No, not Doctor Who, but some sort of Doctor. Discord wasn't working alone. This doctor must have been the one that planned this, and that S logo I keep seeing looks so familar to me." I said. “I saw that same logo on the robotic Trixie the time she went into town, and Boorlie Pomodoro, he too had one, and not to mention Chrysalis back at the Nashorse race.” I said.

“Yeah I heard about this doctor as well.” Twilight nodded.

“Then I guess this all proves it. Somepony is out to get me! Somepony doesn’t want me to be happy, but who would want that?” I asked myself.

"Well, that's a mystery we'll have to solve another day, Flare. Whoever this doctor is, he must be out of reach by now." Twilight said.

“In that case, I must be ready for his next move. I must find out who this doctor is someday, and I know for a fact he’s not stopping now. He will be back. He will have a plan, and with the help of my friends, we’ll foil them all, but for now… we must rest.”

“Nope, for now we must go to an award ceremony!” Spike said with a scroll on his hand. “I just got a letter from the princess!”

“Celestia I assume?” I asked.

“No, it’s from Luna! You are to be rewarded for your actions.” Spike said.

“Well, since we’ve been referencing Star Wars throughout the entire day I guess it won’t hurt doing one more.” I said.

Meanwhile, at the castle throne room the Guards blow on their horns (playing the Throne Room song from Star Wars: Episode 4). A crowd of ponies were in the room, including the Mane Six, the Princesses (Celestia, Luna, and Cadance), the CMCs, Big Mac, Cheeerilee, Granny Smith, the Cakes, Lyra, Bon Bon, Derpy, Octavia, Vinyl Scratch, the Doctor, Keith, the Wonderbolts, even the Nashorse racers, and all the ponies from past chapters of this story. The doors to the throne room open. The Noble Six and Spike all walk towards the Princesses. Everypony smiles at them. The Noble Six walked up to the princesses and bowed to them. Celestia gives them all medals, but before she could give me my metal I cleared my throat and gave her a face. Then Celestia rolls her eyes and gives the metal to Luna, and Luna puts the medal on him. The Noble Six turn around, and in the background I find C-3PO and nod at him, and then I see R2-D2 shaking around making beeping notices in excitement. Everypony started cheering, then Spike roared, similar to Chewbacca's roar.

"Why didn't I get a metal?" Spike asked himself.

“I wonder the same thing.” Chewbacca whispers at him.

"Thanks to the bravery of these ponies, Equestria has been saved from any plots, and thanks to them, the Elements of Harmony are safe." Celestia said.

"If the Mane Six ever get themselves into trouble, the Noble Six will be the ones to be their backup!" Luna said. "Red Engineer with his heavy heart, Crystal Iceblast with her will to kick plot, Aquatic Armor with his hope, Psyche Illusion with his smarts, Blaze Goldheart with his loyality, and Flare Gun.... for spreading the lulz." Everypony cheered again.

"Ah can't believe this is happin to us!" Engie said excitedly.

"You better believe it, Engie!" Crystal nodded.

"We are heroes.” Aqua nodded.

"I never thought being a part of this clan would give me this much popularity." Psyche said.

"And if Equestria ever needs us, we'll be there!" Blaze said.

"Greetings, my little ponies! I've returned for my revenge!" a voice said.

"Who are you? Reveal yourself!" Luna shouted.

"It is I! Discord!" the voice yelled as a giant Discord head came out from beside the door. "And I am here to eat your faces! OM NOM NOM NOM!" Everypony started screaming and running around.

“Oh snap!” Crystal cried out.

Just then, I walked inside the room carrying a big stick with the Discord head on the other side. "You ponies are so gullible! THINK FAST!" I started throwing garlic rolls and they landed in the mouths of Psyche, Spike, Twilight, Rainbow Dash, and Blaze. "Told you I was gonna throw garlic rolls at ponies more often! Remember? Lawl remember everypony? Feel dat Mareami heat, brahs! HA HA!”

“Oh Flare.” Twilight shook her head and chuckled as her fresh newly grown horn sparkles.

“Well, Flare Gun, what are you going to do now?” Luna asked.

“Well first I have to respond to Keith’s last poke.” I said with my phone out.

“And then what?” Luna asked.

“Hmm…” I thought to myself. The next day came, it was just an ordinary day at my pizza shop. I was watching TV with Lyra and Bonnie.

“And now our feature presentation: Friendship is Epic - the old story!” the TV announcer said.

“Nope.” I said as I turned off the TV.

THE END! Thank you, readers! Thank you so much for reading Friendship is Epic – Book 1: My Big Flare! It really means a lot that you made it this far. I really hope you liked it, because this remake wasn’t easy. I had to put Book 3 on hiatus because of this, I hope to get a little enthusiasm and credit. Anyways, this story isn’t over yet! This was just the first season out six! This story was just getting to know the characters! It’s gonna get more interesting in the future! You’re gonna meet my sister Water Gun, we’re gonna have new characters, new stories, new foes, new lulz, polka, new locations including Mareami, and we’ll get to see who this mysterious doctor is! Thank you once again for reading, brahs! See you next time on Friendship is Epic – Book 2: Dat Mareami Heat!

Author's Note

The final chapter to the remake! I hope you enjoyed it! I don't care if you liked it or not, it's fine, but the comments, can you put some enthusiasm along with the negative things you have to say? Positive and negative, I want both. But thanks again! It means so much that you at least had time to read this far! :D

Friendship is Epic - Part 1

Sup brahs? Some of you may know me, and some of you may not know me. My name is Crimson Flare Gun, and I have a brand new story for you, my friend! A little story about my life, but not just any story about my life, a story of how my life changed forever. How did my life change forever you may ask? You think it’s because of my new implants? Yeah, I got myself new implants for my home. I think one of them is an Arrowhead Vine. Anyways, enough on these silly plants. Here’s a story about drama, less then threes, cutaway gags, pizza, pony error, robots, pigs, polka, and most importantly: implants. This is the story of Flare Gun. Let’s begin with Book 1!

Once upon a time, in the magical land of Equestria, there were two regal sisters that ruled together, and one of them decided to be a complete jerk and rule by herself, so she banished her sister to the moon, and is now taking all the glory. What kind of sister does that to her own sister? How would mom feel? Luna’s telling mom on you, Celestia. Ok, enough of that story, in fact, enough with the books in general. It seems a little too….. Disney, and Dreamworks. Anyways, I’m gonna skip the 20th Century Fox and Paramount Pictures themes, and just go straight to the ‘Shroom Films presents, a My Little Pony fanfic.

We start off our story from the entrance of Everfree Forest. A beam of light glowed, and a vortex opened. Out of the vortex came Princess Luna and another pony whom we don’t know who he is yet, but I believe it is pretty obvious.

"Woo! That was a fun ride, Luna! Is there anywhere I can find the snapshot of my face?" The pony with Luna asked.

"It wasn't a theme park ride, Flare Gun, it was a spell." Luna said.

"I know, but it wouldn't hurt to have a picture." Flare said and shrugged. "Oh well. Thanks for everything Luna!"

"Don't just thank me, thank Braeburn of Appleloosa. He notified me." She said.

"Oh... well then. I guess I do have some trusted friends after all. You can't imagine how happy I am now." The pony said excitedly.

"You'll do great, Flare! Ponyville will be your new home now. You will make lots of new friends, build your new business here, and you'll even..... spread your dolls!" Luna said.

"Yes! Wait, spread your dolls?" The pony asked.

"Don't you say that all the time? Spread your dolls?" She asked.

"It's spread the LULZ, not spread your dolls. I don't own dolls." The pony said.

"You sleep with teddy bears every night." She said.

"They're not dolls, they're action figures!" The pony yelled.

Luna giggled and said, "Of course, how silly of me! So I'll go get the ponies in town ready for you, and then head on in tomorrow morning."

“What if they don’t like me though? Nopony ever does.” The pony said.

“Give them a chance. I've seen what you’ve been through, and it may be tough at first, but I promise you that they can solve all your problems.” Luna promised.

“Well, I trust you, sista. Although, I trusted many. I put my trust in a pig, and look where I ended up. That piece of bacon will pay for this!” The pony said angrily.

“Revenge is not the best solution. Whatever happened in your past will stay back there. This is your chance to begin anew.” Luna said.

“You’re right. If you’re right I’m left, and if I’m left, and then I’ll be right after two lefts, or two rights, whichever goes best.” The pony said and then he yelled, “Praise the Wizards!”

SHROOM FILMS PRESENTS….

A MY LITTLE PONY FANFIC…..

CREATED BY MEGASEAN45……

FRIENDSHIP IS EPIC

STARING MEGASEAN45 AS FLARE GUN

BRONY WITH THE BOWTIE AS BLAZE GOLDHEART AND RED ENGINEER

ANNOMINOUS AS CRYSTAL ICEBLAST

TROY AS PSYCHE ILLUTION

THE 94TH NICKACHU AS AQUATIC ARMOR

MANE SIX, SPIKE, AND THE PRINCESSES AS THEMSELVES

BROUGHT TO YOU BY SHROOM FILMS!
(Happy face)

The next morning came, and Rainbow Dash, who was sleeping on a cloud,was talking in her sleep. “Hmm.” She moaned. “Yes, Spitfire, I’d love to be your sidekick. Want me to keep an eye on these cadets? Sure, I’d love to. Oh yummy, one of them has cheesecake.”

“RAINBOW DASH!” Pinkie yelled as she used her balloons to hover over to the cloud Rainbow was sleeping on.

“AAAAAAH!” Rainbow screamed. “Darn it, Pinkie! Stop doing that!”

“What’s wrong, Dashie? Were you scared?” Pinkie asked mischievously.

“No! You’re just annoy me when you do that; like a colt begging for attention from his mom after she had a hard day at work.” Rainbow said.

Our first cutaway gag of the series shows a mother pony lying in bed, and her son walks over to her and says, “Merry. Merry. Merry. Merry. Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom. Mommy. Mommy. Mama. Mama. Mama. Ma. Ma. Ma. Ma. Mum. Mum. Mum. Mum. Mummy. Mummy. Mama. Mama.”

“WHAT?!” the mom screamed from the top of her lungs (not literary, because that’s impossible).

“Inserts overused gag here.” The son teased and ran away giggling. The cutaway ends.

“So what do you want, Pinkie?” Rainbow asked with an attitude.

“You promised we’d go to the market together thooooooooough.” Pinkie whined.

”Yeah, I said we’d go at 3:00, and it’s….. 11 in the morning.” Rainbow said, checking the time by looking over at the clock tower across town.

“Okie dokie loki!” Pinkie said. “I’ll be back at 3:00!”

“Alright, good.” Rainbow said as she fell back asleep. Pinkie then used the balloons to hover over to the clock tower, and moves the little hand towards the 3, and then she flies back over to Rainbow and yells, “RAINBOW!”

“AAAAH!” Rainbow yelled. “Pinkie! I told you not to bother me until 3!”

“It is 3; see?” Pinkie pointed over to the clock.

“Really? I felt like I was asleep for not even a minute.” Rainbow said confusingly.

“Relax, Dashie. Ponies always feel that way every morning.” Pinkie said.

A cutaway shows a pony sleeping in his bed, and his clock radio goes off at 7. The pony wakes up, presses the snooze button, and goes back to sleep. Just then, the clock radio uses it’s antenna to change the time to 7:06, and it goes off again. “Aww c’mon!” the pony whined as he pressed the snooze button again and goes back to sleep. The clock radio, yet again, uses it’s antenna to change the time to 7:12, and it goes off again. The pony growls.

“Keep going, dude. I can do this all day.” The clock said.

“Uggh! Fine!” the pony groans as he gets out of bed to get ready for work.

The clock radio chuckles and says, “Works every time! Heh, time, nice pun!” The cutaway ends.

So Pinkie was hoping along the market place along side Rainbow who was flying low. “So what do we need to get Pinks?” Rainbow asked.

“I heard there’s this new frosting product in town, goes by the name of Betty Crocker.” Pinkie said.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa! Betty Crocker? I dunno if we can trust that last name.” Rainbow said.

“No, we’re not related in any way possible.” Mr. Crocker from Fairly Odd Parents in pony form said beside them, he then took out a butterfly net and yelled, “FAIRIES!” and ran off.

“Get Pillsbury frosting, sista, it tastes a lot better.” A red pony with a brown mane, blue eyes, a blue vet- I mean, vest; with two really dark grey shoes suggested.

“You’re right, Pillsbury does taste better, doesn’t it?” Pinkie asked.

“Yay! I was right!” the pony cheered. “It’s not too often ponies agree with me, except for the time I bought lunch for the school hoofball team and their gals, until I found out they’re only using me for my money.”

“School hoofball team, huh?” Rainbow asked. “You’re not from around here, are you?”

"What was your first clue?" the pony asked. “Anypony else around here have a mane style like mine? Nuh uh! I don’t think so!”

Pinkie giggled. “This pony is funny!” Pinkie then gasped and said, “Holy cow!”

“What?” A cow dressed like an angel asked.

“There’s a new pony in town and I didn’t know?!” Pinkie asked surprisingly.

“Well you do now, Pinks. What’s your name?” Rainbow asked.

"My name is Pinkie Pie, silly! You know that!" Pinkie corrected Rainbow.

"I was talking about this pony." Rainbow corrected her.

I started to sing, “What’s your name…. little girl? What’s your name?”

“We asked you first.” Pinkie smirked.

“Kay kay. My name is Flare Gun.” The pony said. Ok, to make things clear, this pony is me, so I’ll just say ‘I said’, instead of ‘the pony’ or ‘Flare’ said, since this is MY story, and I make this rules ‘round here, brah!

“Flare Gun, huh? Good to meet you. I’m Rainbow Dash!” Rainbow said.

“So I heard.” I said.

“You heard of us?” Rainbow asked.

“Have I heard of you? You and your friends were all over the news at the time of Nightmare Moon! I must say, you all did an awesome possum job rescuing Luna from that evil mastermind that’s taken control of her. Smiley face.” I said and smiled.

“Well, I must say, we did look awesome that day, huh?” Rainbow posed.

“That night was super duper fun! I got pretty necklace that night!” Pinkie said excitedly.

“You may say that took place at night, but after Nightmare Moon blocked the sun, I think that was daytime.” I corrected them.

“Well, whatever. So you heard of us before, huh?” Rainbow asked standing pretty close to me. “Has anypony said I’m the greatest flyer in all of Equestria?”

“No, but I heard you’re the greatest in getting into pony’s personal space. LAWL!” I teased.

“Lawl?” Rainbow asked.

“Lawl, L-O-L, laugh-out-loud, have you ever heard of it?” I asked.

“Yes, I do, but…. I never heard ponies actually say them before.” Rainbow chuckled nervously and said.

“LAWL!” Pinkie yelled in Rainbow’s ear.

“Now we’re getting it! Luna was right; I think I’m liking this so far! This is much more better than where I’m from, believe me on that, sista.” I said.

“More better? That’s not correct English.” The angel cow corrected me.

“Your gag is over now, you can leave.” I said to the cow.

“Mookay, mookay, sheesh.” The cow said feeling insulted and walking away.

“You know, I have a pet fish named Rainbow.” I said to Rainbow Dash.

“Cool! So where are you from anyway?” Rainbow asked.

“Mareami.” I said.

“Wow, that’s pretty far.” Rainbow said.

“Says the ‘greatest flyer in all of Equestria’.” I chuckled and said.

“Hey! I was told by Princess Celestia herself that I’m the greatest!” Rainbow said with an attitude.

“I’d like to see you prove it.” I said mischievously.

“Ok, you asked for it.” She said. So Rainbow flew up into the air, did a couple of tricks and spins, messed with the clouds, and came back with a rainbow above her head. "How do you like that?”

But I wasn't paying much attention, I was on his phone talking to my mom. "Yeah, mom, I'm here now. Yeah. Yeah. Ok, ok, ok, I gotta go... I gotta.... I gotta go.... yes.... yes.... yes mom, I love you too. Thank you. I'm fine. Thank you. Alright, chow. Ok.... I'm busy now. I just made some new friends. Ok... THANK YOU, MOM! I love you too. Bye bye." I hung up and turned to Rainbow. "Moms, sheesh!" I chuckled, rolling my eyes. "They never stop talking. I had to let her know I made it here safely. Anyways, I'm sorry, can you do those tricks again?"

Rainbow's jaw dropped. "You are kidding me."

"I am not kidding you." he said with a serious look. “Serious face. See? I said serious face, now you know I’m being super serious right now. Like seriously actually.”

Rainbow rolled her eyes. "Fine." she said. So she flew up into the air to do those tricks again, and once she was done, she flew back. "Did you watch that time?"

"Oh no, I'm sorry, I got a text message from Boston Market, saying they're having a free cookie sale, I had to check it out. I guess I left Mareami at the wrong time." I said as I placed my phone back in my vest pocket. "I apologize deeply, can you do it just.... ONE MORE TIME!"

"UGGGGH!" Rainbow groaned. "Fine! One more time! You better be a fun pony when you finally settle in."

"I said I'm sorry. Look, if you don't wanna do it, then don't, I won't force ya." I said.

"No, no, I'll do it. Just watch this time." Rainbow said.

"I promise I'll watch this time." I said. So Rainbow did the same tricks again, and then came back down, feeling really tired. "How.... you like.... that? Did you watch?"

"Yes I watched, I just didn't find it interesting. Sorry." I said.

"WHAT?! Ha-how did you not find it interesting?" Rainbow asked.

"I seen those tricks before. I see the Wonderbolts perform at every Nashorse race." I said.

"Wait, you know the Wonderbolts?" Rainbow asked.

"Of course! I met Spitfire in person. It's pretty ironic that she doesn't actually spit fire. I got an autograph of her if you want to see it later." the pony said.

"Ok, sure! Sounds awesome!" Rainbow said, nodding.

“Hey, where did that pink inflated mane pony go?” I asked.

Rainbow looked around. “I have no idea.”

“She just bought some of our Pillbury frosting and ran off.” The frosting merchant said.

“Kay. Hey, I heard you have some TV dinners; can I have some?” I asked the merchant.

“Sure.” The merchant said giving me a box.

I took the box and said excitedly, “Oh cool, I got a chicken TV dinner!”

“I dunno why you’d want a crummy ol TV dinner.” Rainbow said. “The food inside doesn’t ever look as good as it looks on the box.”

“I know, but I wanna have it anyway!” I said as I opened the box, then a giant TV popped out and fell on me. “Well this is a complete rip-off.” I said as I was squished under the TV. “There’s no chicken here!”

“Yes there is.” The merchant said as she turned on the TV, revealing Foghorn Leghorn.

“Hey what, I say, what is up with those cakes, man! I can’t, I say, I can’t eat cake! Cake is made out of my children!” Foghorn Leghorn said from the TV, and I laughed from under the TV.

“Howdy, Rainbow!” AppleJack said as she walked over and greeted Rainbow.

“Oh, hey AppleJack! What’s going on?” Rainbow asked.

“Nothin’ much, just needing some frosting for that Apple Fruit Cake that Granny Smith is makin’.” AppleJack said. “Hey, nice TV!”

“Thanks! A pony is under there.” Rainbow said.

“What in tarnation do ya mean?” AppleJack asked. Just then, I used one of my spells to rip a hole from the TV and I walked out and dusted myself off.

“Well that was certainly entertaining, and Entertainment Tonight wasn’t even on” I said.

“Didn’t that hurt?” Rainbow asked.

“It did, very much, almost as bad as Kermit the Frog sharing a bed with Miss Piggy.” I said.

A cutaway shows Miss Piggy laying in bed, snoring really loud. Her alarm clock goes off, and she yawned and snorted. “Ah, what a glorious day! Kermmy, can I have a pop tart in bed?!” she yelled out. “Kermmy?!” There was no response. Miss Piggy sighed, “That bullfrog better not have gotten to work early!” Miss Piggy removes her covers and climbs out of bed, revealing Kermit the Frog, all squished in between the sheets.

Kermit gasps for breath and says, “I hate it when that pig rolls over to my side.” The cutaway ends.

“So if that hurt, why didn’t ya scream in pain?” AppleJack asked.

“I have sooooo much on my mind, so much that pain is actually a walk in the park for me.” I said.

“Hey what kind of spell is that?” AppleJack asked, pointing to a glowing stick on my horn that’s actually the spell I’m still casting, but forgot to turn off. “Ah never seen Twilight use a spell like that.”

“Oh that? That’s just my hornsaber spell. My mom forced me to read a book on defensive magic spells, and I hate reading, but the results were quite great. I learned very difficult spells; took me a long time to master them.” I explained.

“Is that deadly?” Rainbow asked about to touch it.

“Don’t touch it!” I yelled. Rainbow moved her hoof back quickly. “Nah, I’m kidding, this spell is actually mostly effective on anything wood, plastic, or anywhere below that. For ponies: It’s more like a baseball bat.” I said.

“Interestin’, what’s yer name, sugarcube?” AppleJack asked.

“Sugarcube is a type of sugar that’s molted into a cube, and sugar is sweet, so you’re calling me sweet, I’m assuming.” I explained.

“Uhh, yeah.” AppleJack said.

“LAWL! I made you confused!” I teased.

“Umm…. Heh, alright.” AppleJack chuckled. “Hey, since yer new ‘round here, how about ah’ll give ya a little taste of some of Granny Smith’s best dishes?”

“Why that sounds lovely! Glass or plastic dishes?” I asked.

“What?” AppleJack asked.

“Aren’t you feeding me dishes?” I asked.

“Oh, not those dishes, silly! Ah got apple pies, apple tarts, apple fritters, apple cobblers, ah sorts of sweet apple stuff!” AppleJack explained.

“I take that you’re offering me apple products?” I asked.

“Uhh, what was yer first clue?” AppleJack asked sarcasticly.

“You said you got apple pies, apple tarts, apple fritters, apple cobblers, and all sorts of apple stuff, and I never heard of a food product called ‘all sorts of apple stuff’, but if it sounds delicious, I’ll take it.” I explained.

“Uhh…. Alrighty then.” AppleJack said and smiled confusingly. “Oh, and mah name is AppleJack by the way.”

“Oooooh, like the cereal right?” I asked.

“Wow, y’all have no idea how many times ah heard that joke.” AppleJack said annoyingly.

“Well, you’d expect that a lot from somepony named after cereal. LAWL!” I teased.

“Look, I’ll leave you two to your little chat. I have to go check on a rain cloud that mysteriously appeared over Spike.” Rainbow said.

“YOU PLACED IT HERE!” Spike yelled with a rain cloud over him.

“Yeah, yeah, if that’s your opinion.” Rainbow teased.

“Oh cool, a dinosaur!” I said excitedly, running towards Spike.

“A what?” Spike asked.

“You are obviously a dinosaur, are you not?” I asked.

“No, no, no, you must’ve gotten me mistaken. I’m Spike, and I’m a dragon.” Spike corrected me.

“I thought dragons were myths?” I asked.

“Who told you that?” Spike asked.

“The Equestria Inquirer.” I said, holding up a magazine showing a dragon with a pony wearing a bride outfit.

“I married a myth?” Spike asked, reading the magazine.

“Yeah, and the Fake Science Monthly.” I showed him another magazine.

“Dragons and humans are not real?” Spike read the other magazine.

“Yeah, and I got so many other magazines, I can go on.” I said.

“Nah, I’m good, thanks.” Spike said. “And Rainbow, will you please be so kind as to GETTING THIS RAINCLOUD AWAY FROM ME?!”

“Oh…. Yeah, sorry, Spike.” Rainbow chuckled nervously and pushed it away. “Ok, well, it looks like I have to get back to work now.”

“Work? But the clouds are already cleared.” AppleJack said.

“Yeah, I have to get back on working for a spectacular show for a kid’s birthday party this afternoon, so I’ll catch you all later!” Rainbow said and flew off.

“So, cereal? Care to take me to your place so I can try your pie?” I asked.

“That…. Didn’t sound right.” Spike said.

“HA! Nice one, brah! I think you and I are gonna get along just fine!” I said to Spike.

“If you say so, dude.” Spike shrugged. “As long as you’re sharing that pie, AppleJack.”

“If ya want some.” AppleJack said.

“Alright, and off we go to Apple Cereal….. Cinnamon…. Jamaica!” I yelled. AppleJack rolled her eyes and Spike and I followed her over to Sweet Apple Acres.

AppleJack placed us on a picnic table in her orchard and said, “Alright, y’all make yourselves cozy while ah go get the pie from the kitchen.” So she walked off and did so. I was alone with Spike.

“So, Spike, how did a dragon like yourself end up with a group of ponies?” I asked.

“Actually, I was adopted by a unicorn by the name of Twilight Sparkle. Over at Celestia’s school, Twilight used her magic to hatch me, and then after Twilight became Celestia’s personal student, and I was Twilight’s assistant ever since.” Spike explained.

“And you’re just an assistant?” I asked.

“I’m also Twilight’s friend, of course.” Spike said.

“Ah, so you’re not treated like just a servant, right?” I asked.

“Of course not; I mean, Twilight does make me do all the chores, and all her deliveries….. and I help her find books.” Spike explained.

“Do you carry her stuff during all of your adventures?” I asked.

“No, that’s Rarity you’re talking about.” Spike said as he started to doze off. “The most beautiful mare in all of Equestria.”

“So she’s the mayor of Ponyville?” I asked.

“Yeah…” Spike said, still dozing off, but when he came to his senses, he shook his head really fast and said, “Wait, what?”

“You said she’s the most beautiful mayor in all of Equestria. Is she the mayor of Ponyville?” I asked.

“No, Mayor Mare is the mayor of Ponyville.” Spike corrected me. “By ‘mare’, I meant ‘lady’, know what I’m saying?”

“Of course I do, I was just making a joke.” I said as I laughed in a way a dog pants.

“Wow, creepy laugh.” Spike said.

“Thanks, brah! You have a creepy smile.” I said.

“No I don’t.” Spike said, smiling creepy.

“LAWL, whatever you say, brah. Whatever you say.” I said. “So about those adventures with Twilight.”

“I go on plenty.” Spike said.

“On enough?” I asked.

“Well, she didn’t take me to Cloudsdale with her to see Rainbow Dash compete in the Best Young Flyer competition.” Spike started. “And I wasn’t invited to Gummy’s birthday party; and I wasn’t invited to save AppleJack when she said she wasn’t coming back to Ponyville; come to think of it, I wasn’t even invited to Canterlot for Twilight’s birthday.”

“Wow, what kind of friend is Twilight?” I asked angrily.

“Now, now, Twilight is awesome friend.” Spike said.

“Is she, brah? Is she?” I asked.

“I guess I haven’t really thought of it like that.” Spike said.

“Exactly! You know what? You should go over to Twilight’s right now, and tell her who’s boss! What kind of friend is she for not inviting you to even her birthday party?” I suggested.

“You’re right, Flare! Thanks for your help! I didn’t know I could be so blind! See you around, man.” Spike said as he angrily marched away.

“Let’s hang sometime!” I yelled out.

“Alright, you two, here’s that pie ah wanted to give ya.” AppleJack said, coming back with some pie, and her brother.

“Thanks, cereal! Looks delicious!” I said.

“Where did Spike go?” AppleJack asked.

“He needed some time with his ‘friend’ Twilight.” I said.

“Oh…. Alrighty then.” AppleJack said, offering me a slice of pie.

“Hey, who’s your friend?” I asked, pointing to Big McIntosh.

“Oh this is Big McIntosh, my brother!” AppleJack said.

”Eeeyup!” Big Mac said.

“He’s red like me.” I said.

“Well then…. What do ya know?” AppleJack said, looking at us both.

“So, Big Ma- umm…. Brah, how long have you known AppleJack for?” I asked.

“Uhh, his whole life.” AppleJack said.

“Hey, big mouth, let your brother speak.” I said.

“Big mouth?” AppleJack asked curiously.

“I’m just saying, let your brother talk, you don’t need to answer his questions for him.” I said.

“Big Mac’s not much of a talker.” AppleJack said as Big Mac nodded.

“Big Mac’s his nickname, huh? Does he come with a side of fries?” I teased.

“Wow, ya really had to make that joke, huh?” AppleJack asked annoyingly.

“What? That an old joke?” I asked.

“Big time.” AppleJack said.

“Sorry, cowmare, I’m still trying to get how things work around here.” I said. Just then, out of nowhere, AppleJack’s dog Winona pops up out of nowhere and barks happily at me. I screamed and jumped out of my seat and held onto a tree bark.

“Uhh, y’all alright, sugarcube?” AppleJack asked.

“I don’t like dogs, they scare me.” I said.

“Winona’s just sayin’ hi, she don’t bite.” AppleJack said.

“I’m sorry, I don’t trust dogs.” I said. I started spraying water out of my horn, and soaked Winona until she ran away. I jumped back down and sat back on the picnic bench. “SORRY!” I yelled at Winona. Winona shook herself up until she was dried, but ended up as a big fur ball. “I’m really sorry about that, AJ. I’m really not a big fan of dogs, and I really didn’t want it to come to that.”

“Umm… maybe ah should take ya over to mah friend Rarity’s.” AppleJack suggested.

“What? But I thought we were bonding well?” I asked.

“Ah know, we are, it’s just…. Umm… ah have to get back to…. Work.” AppleJack said.

“Well, you are the Element of Loyality after all, so I guess I’ll believe you.” I said.

“Ah’m the Element of Honesty.” AppleJack corrected me.

“Meh, Element of Honesty, Loyalty, Rhinos, it’s all the same to me. Friendship is friendship, and that’s how I picture it.” I said.

AppleJack faked a smile and said, “Ah’ll take ya over to Rarity’s. She’ll love your trends!” AppleJack said as she took my pie.

“HEY!” I whined. “You didn’t give me a chance to eat the dish yet!”

“Look, ah’ll give ya more later, but for now, let me take ya to Rarity’s.” AppleJack suggested, taking my hoof, and attempted to get me to hurry it up and follow her.

“Oh, umm, kay kay. G-2-G, Big Mac served with a delicious coke! Nice meeting ya!” I waved at him. Big Mac facehoofed himself as AppleJack was taking me over to Carousel Boutique, but before we left, Big Mac saw apples getting munched on in the trees.

“Umm, AJ?” Big Mac called out.

“What?” AppleJack asked. Big Mac pointed to the trees, and there were a swarm of parasprites eating the apples. “Oh no, parasprites!”

“What? Like the soda?” I asked.

“That’s Sprite!” AppleJack corrected me.

“No, that’s a Pair-of-Sprites. LAWL!” I teased.

“Flare, yer not helpin’ right now.” AppleJack said annoyingly.

“Sigh.” I said, and I actually said the word ‘sigh’. “Look you’re obviously aren’t going to get them away using pitchforks or shotguns.”

“We don’t have any shotguns.” AppleJack said.

“Well, ol Flare Gun’s got a flare gun. Watch and learn, sista! Watch and learn.” I said as I started shooting flares out of my horn and towards the parasprites.

“Flare, ya keep missin’ them!” AppleJack yelled.

“I’m not trying to aim for them.” I corrected her. The parasprites looked at all the flares being shot from my horn, and the parasprites started following them up into the sky, and off the apple orchard. “Now the parasprites are paragonners! LAWL LAWL LAWL LAWL LAWL LAWL!” I yelled.

“Umm…. Thanks?” AppleJack said confusingly.

“No problemo, sista! That’s what friends are for.” I said.

“Riiiight.” AppleJack said.

“So you still busy, or can we hang out some more and have some more of your delicious pie?” I asked.

“Spike’s right, that doesn’t sound right.” AppleJack whispered to Big Mac.

'Eeyup!" Big Mac whispered back.

So AppleJack and I went over to Carousel Boutique, and Rarity was using her magic to place some of her gems on a new dress she was making. She hears her door ringing and she walks over to her front desk to greet us. She says, “Hello, and welcome to Carousel Boutique! How may I he-“

AppleJack cuts Rarity off and says, “Hey, Rarity! Ah’m just leavin’ ya with ol Flare Gun here; he’s new in town, and wants somepony to hang with, so ah’m leavin’ him with with you.”

Rarity smiles and says, “Oh that seems divine, but I am pretty bus-“

“Flare can help ya out. Flare this is Rarity; Rarity, Flare, we’re all acquainted, alright.” AppleJack said quickly.

“Wait, what is your name?” I asked AppleJack.

“Its Cereal, now ah gotta go, bye!” AppleJack said as she ran off.

“She’s very nice.” I said to Rarity.

“Well, some ponies do have standards. It was awfully rude of her to leave you with me like that.” Rarity said.

“It’s fine; I know when a pony is in a hurry to get back to work. She didn’t want me to be in the way, and I understand completely, like the time I was working with that group project.” I said.

A cutaway shows a bunch of ponies working on a group project on making a life-size Optimus Prime. “This is it, boys! This life-size Optimus Prime is going to have us win the Science Fair for sure!” one of the ponies said.

“Cool! When can I help?” I asked.

“Just keep sitting there in the corner doing nothing.” The pony said.

“But I promise I won’t break it.” I said.

“Yeah, say that to all of our past science fair projects.” The pony said pointing to all the broken electronics, like an R2-D2, a blender with a microwave, and a robot of Mr. Krabs. The cutaway ends.

“Now then, since AppleJack decided to abandon you here-“ Rarity started.

“Oh she didn’t abandon me, she said she was busy.” I said.

“I like your enthusiasm, darling. Well, regardless, I really like those threads you got on.” Rarity said, checking out my clothes.

“Hey, my eyes are up here.” I said, as I was pointing to my face.

“Well, since you’re here in my shop, feel free to look around.” Rarity offered.

“Thanks, sista! I really like these dresses. They’re more modern and classical.” I said.

“That’s how I normally like to make my dresses, dear.” Rarity said as she used a sewing machine on a dress she’s making for another client.

“What’s that dress for?” I asked, pointing to the one she’s making.

“This dress is for a very important client.” Rarity said.

“Aren’t all clients supposed to be important?” I asked.

“Well, yes, but a client that’s putting these dresses on display.” Rarity said.

“Display for what?” I asked. “This dress looks like you got from a dumpster.

Rarity was shocked. “This is a fine piece of cloth, darling! This dress is going to be the finest of the century!”

“Finest of the century for a dog show maybe.” I teased.

“What?!” Rarity gasped.

“Ok, mind I ask first, where is this dress going?” I asked.

“It’s going to a fashion show in the Mareami Convention Center, why?” Rarity asked.

“Ok, there we go! I’m a pro on the Mareami stuff, that’s where I’m from, and I know what the Mareami ponies like. Allow me to suggest little alligators on the dress, because Mareami is fairly close to the Gatorglades Swamps, and lots of alligators live there; or for the astronomy types: stars, or moons, or rockets. Since the Lunar Space Center is located east of Mareami, over at Cape Canvill, one of the districts of Mareami, that’s where the shuttles are in for launching to space; or better yet, some suns, or palm trees, or flowers for those beach dudes and dudettes, ones that like surfin’ in the EQA.” I explained.

Rarity was silent for a minute, and then she said, “Wow, that’s a…. that’s a lot.”

“I have a whole list of types of ponies in Mareami, I can go on.” I said.

“No, no, that’s quite alright, dear.” Rarity said, returning to work.

“So are you gonna take my idea?” I asked.

“I’ll put it into my plan.” Rarity said.

“You say that, but are you actually going to think about it?” I asked.

“Yes, dear, I am.” Rarity said, starting to get annoyed.

“Because a lot of ponies say they do, but they don’t actually. That’s where the liars come in.” I said.

“Flare, I’m very, very busy right now.” Rarity said.

“So why don’t you take me to somepony that will have time for me?” I asked.

“Ugh!” Rarity groaned. “Ok, here’s the address for my friend Fluttershy’s house. Maybe she’ll help you.” She said, giving me a little piece of paper showing Fluttershy’s address.

“Fluttershy! The Element of Generosity.” I said.

“She’s kindness, I’m generosity.” Rarity corrected me.

“Oh…. Because you seem like Element of Laughter to me.” I said.

“Uh huh.” Rarity said in a annoyed tone.

“Kay kay, I’m going to go see the kind ol Fluttershy, the one who cut off her tail extensions for a cockatrice’s beard.” I said. Rarity stopped what she was doing and gave me a confused look. “No need to give me that look, sista, it was all over the news, that’s how I know, and that’s why I’m here. Well, I’m gonna go see Flutters now. Thanks for everything, Rare! I really appreciate it.”

“Your welcome, dear! Come back anytime!” Rarity said with a fake smile on her face, and once I ran off, she grunted and said, “Thought he’d never leave.”

So I walked on over to Fluttershy’s cottage, and she was outside feeding the birds. "There you go little friends!" she said to them. Her bunny Angel glares over at Fluttershy, wanting something to eat. "Oh, okay Angel. You want the usual?" Angel shows Fluttershy a picture of carrot cake inside a food book. "Oh, um, I'm sorry Angel, but I don't have the ingredients." Fluttershy smiles embarrassed at Angel making a squee sound, and then Angel flops back on the floor looking like he's dead. "Oh no, Angel! Don't do that! You know that scares me." Angel got back up and showed the picture of the carrot cake again. "Oh, okay, fine."

“Every time you call my name, I heat up like a burnin' flame”. I sang as I got close to Fluttershy’s house. Fluttershy looks over and sees me walking towards her front yard.

“Looks I’m getting myself a new visitor.” Fluttershy smiled and said.

“Abra-abra-cadabra, I want to reach out and grab ya! Abra-abra cadabra. Abracadabra.” I sang as I violently grabbed the air when I said ‘grab ya’, and when I said ‘Abracadabra’, I shot a flare in the air with my horn.

Fluttershy got a little frightened by my entrance, so she ran into her cottage, shut the door and locked it, and closed all her blinds, but one of her blinds got crooked, and she struggled to close them. You know, those up and down blinds, you know how they are. That’s why in my old house I had one of those blinds that opens side to side, not up and down so it can get stuck or crooked. Anyways, I walked on over to her front door and knocked on it the same way Sheldon Cooper from Big Bang Theroy does it. Knock, knock, knock; “Flutters?” Knock, knock, knock; “Flutters?” Knock, knock, knock; “Flutters?”

“Eep!” Flutters ‘eeped’ as she peeked through the blinds.

“My name is Flare Gun, I’m new here, and I was told by your friend Rarity that I should come and see you.” I said, but nopony answered. “I’m in need of some new friends, and you were recommended.” Fluttershy was still shivering in fright inside of her cottage. “I know you’re home, I saw you. You’re an animal lover, huh? I like animals too, except dogs, that’s why I was scared of AppleJack’s dog. Look you don’t have to come out, we can talk with the door between us. With your name ‘Fluttershy’, I’m pretty sure the ‘shy’ in there means you like to go to the bathroom a lot. LAWL!” I teased. Fluttershy still didn't respond, but I continued talking. “So have you played any video games? Something like Borderlands? I really love the Claptraps in there; they like to dance a lot, pelvet thrust, and- oh listen to me, I’m talking to a door. Well, door, it was nice talking to you, but…. It looks like your owner Fluttershy seems to be busy right now. At least I could’ve had a beep so I can leave a voice message.”

I think I made my point, so I walked out of Fluttershy’s property and said to myself, “Sad face, I wanted to make a new friend. Oh well, I got so much to do anyway. It’s about time I go build my business. If I’m going to be living here, I have to make sure I can afford it.”

After some time went by, I returned to my trailer after a day of making friends. The trailer is currently located in front of Golden Oak Library, because I thought that spot was a pretty shady spot, as long as no birds from the tree go doo-doo all over it. My trailer has a high-security system on it. Once I walked to it, I punched in the code to unlock the door, scanned my hoof, scanned my eye, and then said the password; “Praise the Wizards of Hope, Strength, and Feelings.” I said as I beat my chest with my hoof twice, and kissed my hoof, and blew it into the air. The door unlocks, I open it, and I walk inside.

Meanwhile, Rarity, AppleJack, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash walk on over to Twilight’s house for a visit. Rainbow Dash takes a look at my trailer, but she doesn't know it’s mine. “Hey, nice set of wheels there!” She said.

“Twilight must be workin’ on a new experiment.” AppleJack assumed.

“Looks like a pretty lovely trailer. Looks a little bland right now though. Could use a make-over.” Rarity said. The four of them walked over to Twilight’s door and knocked on it.

“Spike, can you get that?!” Twilight yelled from the inside.

“Why? Too lazy to do it yourself, and you let your slave do it?” Spike asked angrily.

“Spike, what has gotten into you?!” Twilight asked. The ponies outside her house can hear all that’s going on, and they just look at eachother in confusion.

“You haven’t invited me to your birthday party!” Spike yelled.

“You said you had other plans!” Twilight corrected him.

“You didn’t say you were going to Canterlot for your birthday!” Spike yelled as he opened the door. He smiled at the others and said, “Hey, ladies!”

“Wh-what was that all about?” Fluttershy asked.

“Were you two fighting? Who was winning?” Rainbow asked excitedly.

“We weren’t fighting; it was just a little disagreement. Plus, Pinkie is putting up decorations to host a party for the new pony.” Spike said, pointing to Pinkie who was setting up decorations inside, and putting up a banner that says, ‘Welcome to Ponyville’.

“I still haven’t gotten a chance to welcome the new pony with a song. Maybe I’ll do it during this party!” Pinkie said excitedly.

“Yeah, well, that’s what we need to talk to Twilight about.” AppleJack said.

“What about him? He’s super duper fun, and super duper funny!” Pinkie said.

“He isn’t that funny.” Rainbow said.

“Where’s Twilight?” AppleJack asked.

“Right here, AppleJack. What’s up?” Twilight asked.

“We need to talk to ya about the new pony.” AppleJack said.

“What about him?” Twilight asked.

AppleJack thought of what to say. “Well…. About him, ya see, he’s just a wee-bit-“

“He’s completely annoying!” Rainbow said, cutting off AppleJack.

“Now, Rainbow Dash, we got specific instructions from Princess Luna to make sure this new pony feels welcomed in Ponyville. She said it’s in the absolute importance that he feels like he fits in.” Twilight explained.

“Well, if you don’t mind me saying, he seems a little….. violent.” Fluttershy said.

“Violent?” Twilight asked.

“Yeah, he sprayed water all over Winona!” AppleJack said.

“Did he say why?” Twilight asked.

“He said he’s afraid of dogs. Ah could’ve just told Winona to go back inside the barn, but he just soaked her!” AppleJack explained.

“Not to mention, he kept talking and talking and talking when I was in the middle of work.” Rarity complained.

“He also told me that you’re not treating me like a friend, more like a servant.” Spike said.

“Spike, you know that’s not true.” Twilight said.

“He doesn’t seem like a very nice pony. I dunno why Luna wanted us to welcome him here.” Rainbow said.

“Oh, I didn’t mind when he was talking to me through the door. He just looked a little violent, so that’s why I hid.” Fluttershy said.

“I didn’t see anything wrong with him. He just made me LAWL!” Pinkie said as she hopped in place.

“Don’t say that, Pinkie.” AppleJack suggested.

“That Pinkie!” Pinkie teased.

“Great, now Pinkie’s acting like Flare.” Rainbow complained and facehoofed.

“Ok, girls, maybe we’re giving him the wrong impression. Maybe if we got to know him a little more, he may seem like a nice pony to hang with. Luna asked us to make him feel welcomed, and that’s what we’re going to do.” Twilight said.

“I dunno, Twilight.” Fluttershy said frightened.

“Just give him a chance.” Twilight asked.

“Well…. Alright. Maybe he was just at the wrong place at the wrong time.” AppleJack suggested.

“I don’t like this idea.” Rainbow said.

“Well, too bad. We wouldn’t be who we are if we didn’t help a pony feel welcomed around here.” Twilight said.

“Twilight’s right; if Princess Luna says a pony needs to feel welcomed, then this pony may be an important pony.” Rarity thought.

“If he’s an important pony, I bet he’d have gems!” Spike said excitedly.

“But what about the party?” Pinkie asked.

“We’ll get back to the party later, Pinkie. For now, we have a pony to welcome.” AppleJack said. So the Mane Six walked outside, but then Fluttershy stopped right in front of them, and they all crashed into eachother.

“Wait a second.” Fluttershy said. “We don’t even know where he lives.” Just then, a bunch of robots stormed out of my trailer, wearing construction outfits.

I followed the robots out of the trailer and yelled, “Alright, brahs, get to work on the new business! I didn’t spend 4 years of culinary class in the University of Mareami for no reason. Time to start a new era!”

“Hi! You must be Flare Gun.” Twilight said.

“I could be, maybe I’m not. It actually depends on who’s talking.” I said.

“My name is Twilight Sparkle.” Twilight said.

“Oh…. It’s you.” I said in an upsetting tone.

“Umm, you alright?” Twilight asked.

“I dunno, sista. For somepony who abuses a baby dragon, you got a lot of nerve in saying if I’m alright.” I said.

“Look, you probably got a misunderstanding. I do not abuse Spike. He’s a good friend, and there are times where we get the wrong impressions, but I’m telling you, Spike is one of my best friends, and there’s nothing that’ll keep me away from him.” Twilight said.

“Yeah, like I heard that before.” I said sarcastically, rolling my eyes. “You dunno who you can trust these days. We’ve all seen Julius Caesar.”

A cutaway shows Brutus (in pony form) watching as Julius Caesar waves to the Roman crowd as Cassius (also in pony form) walks over to him and says, “You should kill him.”

“I shouldn’t. He’s my best friend.” Brutus said.

“You want him to be better than you? You want him to take over as king?” Cassius asked.

“No.” Brutus said.

“Then the only way to do that is for us to team up, and out of our own stubbornness, we kill Julius Caesar just so he isn’t better than us.” Cassius said.

“Ok, I’d stab my friend in the back just so he wouldn’t be superior.” Brutus said.

Down below, just before Caesar walks inside the senate, a mysterious hooded pony walks over to him and says, “Beware the Ides of March.”

“I’m sorry; I didn’t hear what you said. Can you repeat that, even though I could care less what it means?” Julius asked.

“Beware the Ides of March.” The hooded pony said.

Just then a couple of eyeballs marched over to Julius Caesar and said, “Boooo, I’m the Eyes of March! Beware! Beeeeewaaaaaaaare!”

“No, you idiot; I said the IDES of March, not the EYES of March!” the hooded pony corrected the eyeballs.

“Ooooooh, the Ides of March! What does that mean?” the eyeballs asked.

“It means March 15th.” The hooded pony said.

“Oh. Ok, I’ll come back at March 15th. Beware of me, Julius Caesar!” The eyeballs yelled in Julius’s face and ran off.

“Somepony should kill me already.” Julius said as he facehoofed himself. The cutaway ends.

“So where are you going, Flare?” Pinkie asked.

“I’m going to help my robots construct my new business!” I said.

“Cool! What business is that?” Rainbow asked.

“It’s a surprise!” I said.

“Ooooo, I like surprises!” Pinkie said excitedly.

“But if you want, you can help me out.” I suggested.

“That sounds like a good idea.” Fluttershy said.

“Yeah, I’m down on that.” Rainbow said.

“As long as I don’t get my mane dirty.” Rarity said.

“You have any gems?” Spike asked.

“Actually, brah, I do. If you help me, and do the same amount of work as everypony else, without anypony else being superior than you, then I’ll give them to you.” I offered.

“Aww sweet!” Spike said excitedly. “You're my new bro!”

“Happy face! That’s all I’ve ever really wanted!” I said excitedly. “Well, I’ve always wanted it from a pony, but a dinosaur is the next best thing.”

“Dragon.” Spike corrected me.

“Whatever. Just to let you know, out of this entire construction process, I’m the boss. Boss boss boss boss boss boss boss!” I demanded.

“Sounds good to me!” Twilight said.

“Uhh, ah’d think twice about sayin’ that.” AppleJack whispered to Twilight.

“Relax, AppleJack. I know exactly what to do.” Twilight whispered back.

“Oh, and since we’re all friends, I have a little something for each of you.” I said.

“Ooo, ooo! Is it a present?” Pinkie asked.

“Well, something like that.” I said as I reached inside my satchel.

“What is it then?” Fluttershy asked. I gave each of them pieces of paper, and pens.

“What in tarnation is this?” AppleJack asked.

“It’s called the Friendship Agreement. I just made this not too long ago. Since it’s hard for me to trust ponies these days, I’m going to make sure my friends remain friends.” I explained.

“Of course we’d remain friends silly! We’re the Elements of Harmony! We’d stay together no matter what!” Pinkie said.

“He means us with him, Pinkie.” Twilight corrected her.

“Exactly! Now that we’re going to be such good friends, all of us, and I: Flare Gun, will finally have the peace he deserves!” I said.

“If you say so.” Rainbow said, signing the contract.

“Great! From here on out, you are not leaving my sight.” I said.

“I already regret signing this.” Rainbow said to herself.

“Now, the first thing we all should do, as friends, we’re going to construct my new business together! Isn’t that fun?” I asked.

“Yippie.” The Mane Six all said sarcastically, except for Pinkie.

“That sounds like fun!” Pinkie said excitedly. “Wait, am I allowed to use power tools?”

“Of course!” I said.

“Yay!” Pinkie jumped up in excitement. “Nopony ever lets me use power tools!” So the eight of us went over to the property near the park where I bought out the property already, and the robots were just constructing the shop, and in good time too.

“Wow, these robots seem fascinating! Are you a scientist too?” Twilight asked.

“No, but my treacherous ex-friend is one. That trailer I live in used to be his, but he abandoned it, so I was able to take it. He left some stuff behind, so I got these robots. He’s a robot builder, and a really good one too I must admit.” I said.

“Fascinating.” Twilight said.

“So if you got these robot thingamajigs to build your shop, what do ya need us for?” AppleJack asked.

“Well, when they’re done, I’ll need your help decorating the inside. The construction drones cannot decorate, only build.” I explained.

Rarity smiled and said, “Well, if you’re in need of some decoration, decoration is my middle name!”

“We still don’t even know your last name.” Rainbow mentioned to Rarity.

“Now the first thing we should do is-“ I started, but I got cut off by one of the robots.

“Done.” One of the robots said.

“Already?” I asked. I turned around and the building where my business is taking place in has been completed. Still no sign, still empty inside, but it’s already done. “Wow! Porky, my man, I may strongly dislike you with all my heart, but you never cease to amaze me!”

“Who’s Porky? Is he a pig?” Pinkie asked.

“Oh big time.” I said.

“Oh wow, I was right! I was actually joking!” Pinkie said excitedly as she snorted like a pig.

“Oooook, so what do you need us to do, Flare?” Twilight asked.

“Here, I drew a picture of what I want the inside to look like.” I took out a rolled up piece of paper out of my satchel and placed it down.

“Is that it?” Rarity asked, pointing to the rolled up paper. I unrolled the paper, and it was a HUGE drawing of what I wanted the inside to look like.

“And this is only one side to one room.” I said, showing them the drawing. “I want each of you to memorize all these drawings, and make them look exactly like this; except don’t make it look all crayony.”

“Ok, darling, I can do this no problem; only one thing.” Rarity started.

“What’s that?” I asked.

“Where did you learn to draw?” Rarity asked.

“That’s not the point. THIS is the point.” I said as I pointed to Fluttershy. Fluttershy got startled and hid behind Rainbow Dash in the air. “So we ready to get this party started?!” I yelled out.

“YEAH!” Pinkie yelled, jumping in the air in excitement. Everypony else just looked at eachother confusingly.

“Party over here, y’all!” I said in a girly voice. So we all got started in decorating the inside of the shop. AppleJack and Rainbow Dash were carrying the tables inside, and Pinkie was bringing in the chairs, but she was carrying all of them at once, all stacked in a row. “Wow, Pinkie!” I said shockingly. “I must say, I’m impressed with your stacking skills. Reminds me back when I was working at that Italian restaurant back at home.”

A cutaway shows me with a whole bunch of plates using my hooves, and even some with my magic. I was humming to myself, and even tilted the food over certain ponies, trying to avoid a mess. “Hey, moron; use a tray next time, that’s way too many plates.” One of the other waiters said to me.

“Ahhh, the new waiter Rex; so cute in your inexperience. Watch…. And learn…. My friend.” I said to him. He just nodded with a creepy smile on his face, and he tripped me over and I fell on the table in front of me, and there was pasta and stuff all over the ponies in that table. “Oh holy Wizard of Hope; let me clean those glasses for you.” I said to one of the ponies in the table as I wiped down the spaghetti sauce from his glasses. “I clean, I clean. Bye bye, gooey sauce.” Since that wasn’t really working out, I started grading cheese on all over the pastas on the ponies’. “How about some cheese? Yeah, nice cheese! Yes you like it! Yes you like it! Oh, yes you like it, the cheese!” Just then the boss came over and glared at me. “Papa.” I said as I dropped the cheese on the table, and the eggplant that was on top of one of the pony’s heads slid off his head and fell onto the floor. The cutaway ends.

“Hey, Flare? I got these paintings from my storage room in my Boutique, and I have nowhere else to put them; I was thinking, maybe you can hang them up.” Rarity suggested.

“Paintings; good call, Rare! Let us see those paintings.” I asked.

“Alright, dear, I certainly hope its perfection.” Rarity said.

“Well, one thing’s for sure: you can’t rush it.” I said as I looked at the paintings.

“So darling, what do you think?” Rarity asked.

“I think with my brain.” I said.

“That’s ‘how’ you think, not ‘what’ you think.” Twilight corrected me.

“With my brain; forget logic.” I said.

“Oh I REALLY like Flare!” Pinkie said.

“It’s a good thing somepony does. It’s not everyday somepony gets liked.” I said.

“You kidding? Ponies get liked here ALL the time!” Pinkie said.

“Hey, any fool can like a simple Facebook page.” I said.

A cutaway shows me looking at my Facebook group page, and I was looking at the group of profiles that liked my page and I was like; “Holy Wizard of Strength, is that Tara Strong?! She liked my page!” I yelled excitedly and fangirl screamed. “Look, Beary! Tara Strong liked my page!” I showed to my teddy bear. “Look, fish! Tara Strong liked my page!” I showed to my fish.

“Who?” one of the fish asked.

“Look, bedroom! Tara Strong liked my page!” I showed to my bedroom. “Look, monster in my closet! Tara Strong liked my page!” I showed to the monster in my closet.

“Cool! My cousin lives in her closet.” The monster said. The cutaway ends.

“So how do you like the paintings, dear?” Rarity asked.

“The paintings are good, Rare.” I said.

“Oh good! Where are we going to hang them up?” Rarity asked.

“I didn’t say we were gonna hang them up. They’re good, but they’re not great. I want this restaurant to be the best it can be.” I said.

“Oooo, we got a hint! This place is going to be a restaurant!” Pinkie said excitedly.

“But…. I looked real hard for these paintings.” Rarity whined.

“Oh boo hoo. You forget, I’m the boss. Boss, boss, boss, boss, boss, boss, boss, boss.” I said.

Rarity groaned and whispered to herself, “I’ll show you a boss!”

“Yeah, me. I got good hearing, you know.” I teased. “LAWL! Now get back to work!”

“Hey, Flare, ah got some of these picnic benches from Sweet Apple Acres for yer booths. Ya are gonna have booths, right?” AppleJack suggested.

“Picnic benches, really?” I facehoofed myself. “AppleJack, AppleJack, AppleJack, here’s the thing: this isn’t going to be some redneck B-B-Q shack, this is going to be a very nice resturaunt. Maybe, fancy, but I wouldn’t jump to conclusions. So get that old rotten piece of wood out of my shop! If I say I need wood, I’ll let you know.” Pinkie started giggling. “Who said you can stop?!” I yelled at Pinkie. “I’m the boss, remember? Boss, boss, boss!”

“What you said was funny!” Pinkie said.

“What? If I need wood I’ll let you know?” I asked. Pinkie started laughing harder. “Will you stop that laughing, Pinks? Why do you have to make it so hard?” Pinkie laughed even harder. “Why did I get myself surrounded by these ponies?”

“What was that?” AppleJack asked, glaring at me.

“Oh, nothing, nothing. Forget what I said. It… it just slipped.” I smiled embarrassingly and let out a little squee. Just then, I heard an explosion coming from the kitchen. I ran in there and saw Spike. “WHAT HAPPENED HERE?!”

“Peas! Made them the ol’ fashion way.” Spike said, pointing to a can of peas on the stove, and still in the can.

“Spike, you have to take them out of the- HOLY WIZARD OF FEELINGS, WHAT IS THAT?!” I yelled, pointing to…. I dunno what it is, on the counter.

“That’s the appetizer.” Spike said.

“Dude, you don’t even know what kind of restaurant I’m opening up.” I said.

“Well, considering there’s a lot of jars of pizza sauce on the counter, there’s a bunch of Italian portraits laying there against the wall, and there’s an unfinished sign that says ‘Flare’s Pizza Parlor’, so I suppose the answer to that question is quite obvious.” Spike explained.

“Ooo, ooo! It’s a Chinese restaurant!” Pinkie yelled from the window connecting the kitchen to the dining room.

“Oh I wish it was a Chinese restaurant, but only Chinese ponies can work at them, believe me, I tried.” I said. “Now, Spike, throw those peas away, and…. Whatever that thing is, and get back to decorating the dining room!”

“Who made you the boss?” Spike asked.

“I did. Boss, boss, boss, boss, boss; and it says on our friendship agreement that if you’re helping in any place I own, I have to make the rules.” I said.

“I know; unlike the others, I read contracts, and I would’ve thought this would’ve been an exception.” Spike assumed.

“Yeah, well, you’re wrong, so go help the others.” I ordered him.

Spike groaned and said, “Fine.” And he walked back into the dining room to help the others. I followed him out.

“Umm, Flare?” Fluttershy tapped my shoulder, trying to get my attention.

“Ugh, WHAT?!” I yelled.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bother you.” Fluttershy said frighteningly, and backed away slowly.

“No, Flutters, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that. Please come back. I have cookies.” I said, but she just hid under a table, cowarding in fear.

“Alright, I think I went overboard with that one.” I thought.

“Uhh, you think?” Rainbow Dash asked sarcastically.

“Who said you could leave your post? Get back doing what you’re doing!” I demanded.

Rainbow flew over to Twilight and whispered, “Can we leave now? This pony is really starting to get on my nerves.”

“Ah agree. He called mah furniture ‘too redneck’.” AppleJack said. “Me and mah family ain’t no rednecks; we’re Southwestern! That’s different.”

“He called all my paintings ‘not stylish enough’, and this one has rubies on it.” Rarity said, showing a painting to her friends, but it did not have rubies on it.

“Rubies? What rubies?” AppleJack asked.

Rarity looked at the picture and gasped. “Where did the rubies go?!” Spike embarrassedly hid in the kitchen.

“He also told me not to jump around and sing while I work. How else am I suppose to make the work fun?” Pinkie asked angrily.

“He also…. Y-yelled at me.” Fluttershy said, sounding like she’s about to cry.

“Ok, that’s it, I had enough. I don’t know about you Twilight, but we’re leaving.” Rainbow said as they all walked (Pinkie hopped) towards the door.

“Wait, girls, don’t go. Princess Luna said we need to make this pony feel welcomed.” Twilight reminded them.

“Well, I don’t know how she would want us to welcome a pony as pathetic as him.” Rainbow said.

“Excuse me? Excuse me?!” I said angrily as I walked towards the group.

“You heard us. We’re really getting tired of being the nice ponies towards those who don’t deserve it!” AppleJack said angrily at me.

“I deserve niceness as much as every other pony!” I yelled. “Except for rappers; rappers are annoying.”

“Well, my dear, you might as well be a rapper.” Rarity said.

“Girls, girls, please!” Twilight said to her friends.

“LAWL! Wow, listen to you Twilight, you sound like Edna Garrett. Girls, girls, girls!” I teased as I mimicked Edna’s voice.

“Flare, please calm down.” Twilight requested.

“I don’t need to calm down! I’m the boss! Boss, boss, boss, boss, BOSS, BOSS, BOSS, B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-BOOOOOOOSS!” I yelled.

“Alright, I really didn’t think it would come to this, but you leave me no other option. I’m sorry, Flare, but you’re on your own.” Twilight said.

“Of course I own this place. LAWL!” I teased.

“See, that’s the thing. You’re never going to make any friends if you’re going to continue saying words like ‘LAWL’, or being just a wee-bit…. Umm…. Irritating.” Twilight explained.

“A wee-bit?! I've never seen anypony so irritating in my life!” Rainbow yelled.

“Yes you have!” I said to Rainbow in a mischievous voice.

“Ok, yes I have, but you’re on the Top 5 list!” Rainbow said.

“So what are you trying to say?” I asked.

“We’re saying that… if you really want to feel welcomed around here, or want anypony’s help, show a little respect.” Twilight said.

“Respect, huh? R-E-S-P-E-C-T; something that means nothing to me?” I asked.

“Respect should mean something to you!” Twilight said.

“It did, a long time ago, but nopony seems to ever respect me!” I said.

“I can really see why.” Spike said.

“Spike? C’mon, you’re my bro, you can’t just go against me like this! We have a friendship agreement!” I said.

Rainbow takes all the friendship agreements, and throws all of them in the shredder. “Oops; I dropped it.” She said sarcastically.

“Uhh, friendship agreement, section 1, paragraph 8, the Friendship Agreement cannot be destroyed unless you truly don’t want to be friends with me anymore!” I explained.

“Well, ya heard correctly, Flare.” AppleJack said.

“You meanie!” Pinkie stuck her tongue out at me. I stuck my tongue out back.

“C’mon, girls, let’s go.” Twilight said as they all turned around and walked out of the shop.

“Alright, fine! Go, leave! See if I care! You’re all tators; tator-tots; just like the rest of them! I don’t need any friends! I’m better than all of you!” I yelled. They were all gone, all seven of them. I was all alone in my unfinished pizza shop. I stopped for a second, and then I began to realize, what kind of pony have I become? All those fools back at Mareami got the best of me. I turned into them, and now I put my entire grudge on the six ponies (and one dragon) that were my only hope of ever making friends. So, it has come to this.

TO BE CONTINUED…..

Author's Note

This is it! This is the complete remake of Chapter 1 of Friendship is Epic - Book 1. I didn't want to change Flare completely, because that's taking away his chapter, and I will not do that, but the Mane Six react differently towards him now, so the story makes a bit more sense. There are only a few lines in this remake that were from the original chapter 1, like Rainbow Dash's tricks, and Angel wanting the carrot cake. The first line in this chapter with Flare and Luna were from the Flare's Backstory chapter in Book 2, so we know that Luna is actually helping him out. This chapter doesn't tell much, this is just Flare trying to blend in, but next chapter will have more in it! Enjoy the remake, I really worked hard on it. I did it for you, so give me a good reputation.

Lord of the Wings

Two days have gone by since I helped out the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Over at my house, I was vacuuming the carpet in my bedroom. I was also listening to the Red Hot Chili Peppers on my Ipod while I was cleaning. I was dancing like a maniac and using the vacuum as a guitar. Three of my fish (Rainbow, Dorthey, and Darrel) were looking at me like I was crazy. I eventually saw them look at me like that.

"What?" I asked the fish with a concerned look on his face. "You think I'm crazy or something? Serious face."

The fish looked at eachother and nodded their heads yes. My yoyo loach and albino catfish (Yoyo and Piddles) were holding out knives and forks, hinting that they're hungry, even though I don't remember putting miniature knives and forks into the fish tank. My white molly, Pearl, swam to me holding her nose and pointed to Yoyo. Yoyo shook his head no and pointed to Piddles.

"Don't worry guys; I'll feed you and clean the tank later. I'm just vacuuming the floor right now." I said, but just then, the doorbell rang, so I walked over to the door and opened it, and guess who it was? The only one that ever comes and sees me really: Spike.

"Sup brah?" I asked, holding out my hoof.

"Wuss up?" Spike asked giving me a bro-hoof.

"I was just doing my Sunday chores. I was just vacuuming, and then I need to clean out the fish tank. Pearl says Yoyo is stinky, but Yoyo says Piddles is stinky, and Darrel, Rainbow and Dorthey think I'm crazy after dancing around with the vacuum cleaner." I explained as I gave an embarrassing smile and squeed.

Spike gave me a confused look. "Ooooooookay." he said. "So did you hear the news?"

"The news that Pinkie Pie is hosting a party for Rainbow Dash's turtle? Yeah, I know; I was going to head over there as soon as I was done here." I said.

"No, not that, and technically Tank's a tortoise." Spike corrected me.

"Yeah, I know, I heard enough of that from Flutters." I said.

Just then, Spike takes out a flyer and shows it to me, and then he said; "Lord Thorn is coming to town!"

“Wait a second, Lord Thorn? The great movie prop collector?” I asked.

“You got it! He’s coming to Ponyville later today to sell his collection!” Spike said excitedly.

“Oh yeah. Isn’t it amazing that you buy random props from random movies, and then you randomly sell them to random ponies in random towns?” I asked.

“I guess so. We should take a look at our savings, and maybe we can afford one of the movie props, but my suggestion: only the best movie prop in the world we should own.” Spike suggested.

“I hope he’s selling one ‘forgetting devices’ from the movie: Stallions in Black. I’ll need one of those!” I said.

A cutaway shows me delivering a pizza to Rainbowshine at her house. I rang the doorbell and Rainbowshine opens it. “Here you are, Rainbowshine: a large haystack pine pizza with the works, garlic rolls on the side, and a large 2-liter Parasprite.”

“Since when did I order a pizza? I already had lunch at your shop today.” Rainbowshine corrected me. Just then, I took out the Neuralyzer from Stallions (Men) in Black, and flashed it on Rainbowshine’s face.

“Here you are, Rainbowshine: a large haystack pine pizza with the works, garlic rolls on the side, and a large 2-liter Parasprite.” I repeated.

“Really? I thought I ordered a Dr. Hooves with it?” Rainbowshine asked.

“You ordered a Parasprite.” I corrected her.

“That doesn’t seem right.” Rainbowshine said. “I thought I always order a Doc-“

“YOU ORDERED A PARASPRITE!” I yelled.

“Ok, now it seems I don’t even remember ordering a pizza at all today! In fact, I probably already eaten at your shop.” Rainbowshine said as she burps. “I tasted pizza in that burp.” I used the Neuralyzer on her again.

"Here you are, Rainbowshine: a large haystack pine pizza with the works, garlic rolls on the side, and a large 2-liter Dr. Hooves.” I said.

“Cool, but why does that bottle say Parasprite?” Rainbowshine asked.

“Look, I really D-K, I don’t even remember why I’m here.” I said.

“Aren’t you delievering a pizza to me?” Rainbowshine asked.

“Oh yeah, what do you know? Why do I have a ‘forgetting device’ from Stallions in Black? I don’t even remember getting it.” I said. “Oh dang it, I forgot to put on the sunglasses! I can’t remember a thing!” The cutaway ends.

"Alright! Let me finish my chores and I'll meet you at the place where the sale is taking place. Oh I rhymed!" I said excitedly. "I like rhyming. Rhyming is fun!"

“Don’t take too long.” Spike said.

“Don’t take too short.” I said.

“What?” Spike asked.

“Aren’t you a midget dragon?” I asked.

“A what?” Spike asked.

“A midget dragon. Little dragons, like little ponies.” I explained.

“No, I’m a baby dragon, or actually a school-aged dragon.” Spike said.

“So why don’t you go to school?” I asked.

“Twilight teaches me.” Spike said. “Besides, I’m not that social around other fillies.”

“So I’ve been hanging out with a kid?” I asked.

“Yeah, pretty much.” Spike nodded.

“I suppose that would explain why the ponies around town look at me funny when I hold your claw.” I said.

“I need somepony to hold my claw when I cross the street. I don’t want to accidentally trip over and take awhile getting up when there’s a carriage coming right at me.” Spike explained.

“There are hardly any carriages in this town. Everywhere is walking distance.” I said. “Besides, who needs carriages? Carriages involve walking anyway. I don’t even know why we have them.”

Later, Spike and I went over to Town Square where a bunch of geeky ponies gather around to meet with Lord Thorn. I looked around, and saw all the geeky ponies and I asked Spike, “Since when did Ponyville have so many geeky ponies?”

“We don’t normally. These nerds must be so desperate for these supplies, they’re traveling all over Equestria for them.” Spike said.

“Wow. LAWL, sad.” I chuckled.

“Are we nerdy?” Spike asked.

“We’re not following this dude around; we’re just getting what we can get now, and then we’ll buy other supplies if he decides to come back.” I said.

“Ah’m hopin’ he has the golf club Christopher McDonald used in Happy Gilmore, as well as Julie Bowen’s wig.” A pony next to me said. The pony next to me was orange, and was dressed a lot like the red engineer from Team Fortress 2.

“Hey, brah, nice TF2 cosplay!” I complimented his outfit.

“Cosplay? What cosplay?” the engineer asked.

“That one; the one you’re wearing.” I said.

“Ah wear this outfit all the time.” The engineer said.

“Oh, alright. I like your style, brah!” I said.

“Thanks, partner! Like yours too!” the engineer said.

“What’s with the engineer cosplay?” Spike asked.

“He said it isn’t a cosplay.” I said to him.

“Seems rather odd, but who cares?” Spike asked. Just then, the trailer in the middle of town that belonged to Lord Thorn opens, and as house music was playing in the background, and fog came out of the door, the shadow behind the fog begun to step out of the trailer, and it was revealed to be the one and only: Lord Thorn! Lord Thorn was pretty catchy with his outfit. He was a lime green pony, and wears a white and blue stripe jumpsuit, and a freaky orange spiked mane.

“Yo, Ponyville! Lord Thorn here with all the cool junk from the most popular movies of all time!” Lord Thorn yelled out, and all the nerds (and some other ponies) in the background cheered.

“WE LOVE YOU, LORD THORN!” a hipster mare yelled out.

“And I love you, random pony!” Lord Thorn said to her, and the mare faints in excitement.

“Isn’t he awesome?” I asked.

“No doubt about it, dude!” Spike said.

“My friends, I've been all around Equestria, completing my collection of movie props, and selling them to ponies on the streets! How does he do it, one may ask? I turn off lights when I exit the room, and I only shower for 5 to 8 minutes.” Lord Thorn explained.

“Whoa! He’s good.” Spike said.

“How do I get these deals you may ask? If the producers aren’t using these props anymore, why bother just keeping them and letting them rot or throw them away?” Lord Thorn asked. The geeks all nod in agreement. “So that is why I am here, my friends! This is why I am selling you this stuff, for memories, and for you to make your own collection, with a minimum wage of 20 bits.”

“How many bits do you have, Spike?” I asked.

“78 bits, that’s enough to buy everything at Gamestop, right?” Spike asked.

“Kids these days; they don’t seem to know the value of money.” I said.

“Now the first item I’m bidding is the Hawaiian Punch water fountain from the Mr. Deeds movie.” Lord Thorn said, showing all geeks the water fountain.

“200 bits!” a blue pony next to us that looked a bit like Rainbow Dash but with a blue and white mane, and green eyes, and a snowflake cutie mark yelled.

“This particular water fountain though was from an actual high school, and high schools always contain dirty water fountains.” Lord Thorn said.

“150 bits!” the blue pony yelled.

“Even though many high school ponies place their mouths on the fountains, that’s how they became dirty in the first place, which causes common diseases.” Lord Thorn said.

“200 bits!” the blue pony yelled.

“200 bits! Going once, going twice…. SOLD for the blue mare in the crowd, even though it’s not often I see nerdy mares in the crowds.” Lord Thorn said.

“Yes!” the pony whispered to herself in excitement.

“Nice wager, sista.” I said to the blue mare.

“Yes, ah am much impressed, partner.” The engineer pony said.

“Thanks! I do have that impression a lot.” The blue pony said. “Almost as much as the time I owned a Firebird.”

A cutaway shows that blue pony leaning on a Pontiac Firebird car; as two stallions walk by, one says, “Whoa, cool Firebird, baby!”

“Thanks! It caught it myself.” The blue pony said.

“How did you catch it?” one of the stallions asked.

“With my pokeball!” the blue pony said, showing her pokeball.

“You can fit a car into that little ball?” one of the stallions asked.

“What? Ooooooh! The car’s not mine.” The blue pony chuckled and said.

“Then what did you catch?” one of the stallions asked.

“My firebird!” the blue pony said, pointing to a Moltres Pokemon flying by. “These things are rare to come by. I found it when I was swimming in a river back and forth for no apparent reason.” The cutaway ends.

“Ok, now I bet you’d really like this: The Nerdvana Annihilation from The Time Machine.” Lord Thorn said, bidding his next object.

“500 BITS!” I yelled.

“Whoa, dude! How did you get that kind of money?” Spike asked.

“I own a famous shop now. I get 500 bits per day! I’m only taking a day’s savings.” I explained.

“Going once, going twice…. SOLD for 500 bits!” Lord Thorn yelled.

“Praise the Wizards!” I yelled. “Now I can finally go back in time and stop myself from picking up that bit on the ground when I was a baby!”

A cutaway shows me as a baby, crawling around on the floor, and I find a bit on the floor, but just before I pick it up, future me kicks the bit out baby me’s sight and yells, “Don’t pick it up!”

”Why not?” baby me asked.

“The bit was on tails. If you pick that up, it’ll give you bad luck for the rest of your life!” I explained.

“Oh no! Not bwad wuck!” baby me yelled, but then a stinky scent started to spread around the room, and baby me held his nose. “Pwee you, what’s wat smell?”

“Sorry, that was me.” adult me said. “I have to wear a diaper because time travel really gets your bowels moving.” The cutaway ends.

After many hours went by, many bids were made, and it was time for Lord Thorn to place his final bid. “My friends, I got one more thing to bid, and I’m telling you, this one will be a keeper.”

“Aren’t they all?” I asked.

“I have with me today: Luke Skywalker’s X-Wing that he used in all three movies he appeared in.” Lord Thorn said, showing everypony the X-Wing ship.

“Didn’t Luke Skywalker appear in four movies?” a pony called out.

“Like I was saying: this here is the very same ship that Luke Skywalker used to destroy the Death Star, and travel to Dagobah. It’s a very rare to find a ship as awesome as this one!” Lord Thorn explained.

The engineer whispered and said, “Ah could use somethin’ like that. Ah can use it as air travel.”

“It’s only a display, brah, it doesn’t actually fly.” I corrected him.

“It doesn’t?” the blue pony asked. “Then how do you explain it actually flying in space?”

“That was only a stop animation set; a smaller version of the X-Wing. This X-Wing is the one that Luke just used to get in and out of in between trips.” I explained.

“Regardless, ah could modify it to actually fly. Ah call dibs!” The engineer said.

“Dude, why do you think you’re the actual engineer?” I asked.

“Ah’m not sure if ah know what yer sayin’.” The engineer said.

“Let’s begin the bid with-“ Lord Thorn started but got interrupted.

“1,000 BITS!” the blue pony yelled.

“You want the X-Wing too?” I asked.

“Hay yeah! I’m a huge Star Wars geek!” the blue pony said.

“1,000 going once….. 1,000 going twice….” Lord Thorn said.

“DIBS ON 2,000 BITS!” the engineer yelled.

“Oh snap!” the blue pony said surprisingly.

“No, I need this!” I said.

“Is it actually worth that much money?” Spike asked.

“Of course it is! 5,000!” I yelled.

“5,000; we got 5,000 here! Anypony have anything higher?” Lord Thorn asked.

“10,000!” the blue pony yelled.

“Whoa! That sure is a lot. Wanna drop out?” Spike asked.

“Flare Gun never drops out! Angry face! 50,000!” I yelled.

“Ok, now you’re being ridiculous.” Spike said.

“I maybe irritating, but I’m not ridiculous.” I said. “I guess I have no choice.”

“100,000 BITS!” the engineer, blue pony, and I all yelled at the same time.

“SOLD!” Lord Thorn yelled.

“What? Which one of us got it?” I asked.

“First come, first serve, my friends. Whoever pays for it first at the end of the auction will get it.” Lord Thorn said.

“I gotta win that X-Wing!” I swore to myself.

“Do you even have 100,000?” Spike asked.

“Of course I do! I just…. Need to get myself a small bank loan, and I’ll be able to get it.” I said.

“Bank loan, really?” Spike asked.

“What other choice do I have?” I asked.

“I dunno…. Maybe you can just NOT GET IT!” Spike yelled.

“Don’t tell me how I use me money! I can buy this whole town if I wanted to!” I yelled.

“I… don’t think that’s possible.” Spike said.

“I live to do the impossible, Spike! I live to do the impossible!” I said in Spike’s face. After the bidding was over, I ran over to Lord Thorn in his trailer that was bigger on the inside like mine. I looked around and I was quite impressed with the scenery. The trailer's layout was like mine, but it's decorated differently; there were posters of different movies on the wall. Where my lounge is supposed to be, in here is the theater room; there was even a library full of DVDs, Blu-Rays ,and even VHSs. Saw a popcorn machine, a soda machine, an Icee Machine, a freezer full of ice cream, it's a movie pony's dream! The room I saw that was most interesting in the room was the plastic machine he had in the props room.

"I see you like my house." Lord Thorn said to me.

“It’s amazing!” Spike said as he took a lot of pictures of the trailer with his camera.

"I have a trailer just like it, but decorated differently." I said. "My layout of rooms is also different; like your storage room of movie props is my exercise room."

"You lift? You don't look buff to me." Lord Thorn observed me and said.

"I don't, but that exercise equipment is a nice show-off to the ladies. Twilight was quite impressed when she saw them." I said.

"I like your style, man.” Lord Thorn nodded.

“Same to you, brah. Where did you get that plastic machine in your props room?” I asked.

“There was a movie that prop was in.” he said.

“Which one?” I asked.

“One you probably haven’t heard of. So what are you in here for?" Lord Thorn asked.

"Well, first off, here's my check for 100,500 bits; one for the time machine, and one for the X-Wing." I said, writing Lord Thorn a check. "Most of that money belongs to my parents though, don't tell them."

"I'm sorry, my friend." Lord Thorn said, giving me back the check.

"WHAT?! Please don't tell me you sold the time machine! Please don't!" I begged.

"Oh don't worry, I still have the time machine, it's yours!" Lord Thorn said. "But I already sold the X-Wing."

"Dang! One of them already took it! Which one?" I asked.

"How am I supposed to know? I never remember my customer's faces." Lord Thorn said.

"Grrrr!" I growled. "It was either that engineer or that blue pegasus pony that looks like a recolor to Rainbow Dash!"

"You know, Flare, normally ponies don't like it when you mention the color of their skin." Spike informed me.

"We gotta get that X-Wing, brah! I can reenact my favorite Star Wars scenes using that! I can't miss out on an oppuntity like this; like the time I got a gift from a family member in Manehatten which was a life-size cut-up of Spock." I said.

A cutaway shows me walking home with groceries, but just as I got home, I saw the life-size cut-up of Spock. As I gasped, I dropped my groceries, and gave the Spock a big hug. "HOLY WIZARD OF FEELINGS! A life-size cut-up of Spock! Now I shall live long and propsper!" I said excitedly as I tried to split my fingers apart, but just when I remembered that I didn't have fingers, I walked the Spock inside and excitedly said; "This is exciting! We're going to save the whales, and take a look at Officer Uhura's asssssssssssssssssstronomy set, and-" but as I observed the Spock cut-up, I got upset. "Oh; it's the Spock from the new movie, nevermind." I wrote down an address on my sticky pad and placed it on Spock's forehead. "This is going to Edward Cullen's house where it belongs." The cutaway ends.

"C'mon, Spike, let's go get that X-Wing!" I said as I started walking out the door.

"Wait, Flare; the time machine!" Spike reminded me.

"Oh, right." I walked over to the Nerdvana Annihilation, rubbed my hooves together, stretched out, crouched down (not bended over because that's not good for backs), and I tried very hard to pick it up, but guess what? The whole device was so dang heavy! Probably weighed over 5,000 pounds; I dunno how much really, but if I had to estimate, I'd say 5,000.

"Dude, your magic." Spike reminded me.

"Oh... right." I just remembered I'm a unicorn and I can use magic, so I tried to levitate the device, and it worked better than picking it up with my hooves, but it was even heavy for my magic; I was only able to lift up a corner of it. Eventually I got tired out. I went to catch my breath for a sec, and then I walked outside. I came back shortly after when I rammed into the trailer with a forklift. I drove it over to the time machine, lowered the lifter, placed it under the time machine, and lifted it up slowly.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Spike panicked. "Drop it, drop it. Looks like you were about to tip it over."

"Right, thanks." I said as I lowered the lifter because he was right, it was about to tip. I drove closer to the time machine until both of the handles were under the device. I lifted the time machine slowly, and it did not tip. "Got it, let's go!" I drove the forklift in reverse out of the trailer, creating a bigger hole in the wall from the time machine, and I drove off to drop the time machine off at my trailer, but of course I didn't want to damage my trailer, so I just left it outside.

After all that was over, I went with Spike to get a bite to eat over at the Ponyville Cafe. "Man, I can't believe that the engineer cosplay or the blue pony took my ship!" I complained.

"Or both." Spike added.

"If both of them bought it, I'm REALLY upset. They get to share it, and I don't. That stinks, man! It really stinks! I hate being left out!" I complained.

"Well, look at it this way: look at all the money you saved." Spike said.

"Oh hush, I can always get more. I'm getting 25,000 bits per week at my shop." I said.

"Your shop is that good, huh?" Spike asked.

"Yes, but what am I gonna do?" I asked.

"If you really want that ship, why don't you find those ponies and buy it from them?" Spike suggested.

"It may cost more than 100,000 bits to get it back, but it's a chance I'll have to take. I never seen those ponies before I moved here. They could either be vacationing, or they're new to Ponyville. One way or another, I should find where they're staying, and fast!" I said as I stood up from my seat.

"Alright, who ordered the hot hay wings, and who ordered the sapphire prime rib?" the waitress asked.

"....After dinner." I added as I sat back down. "Sapphire prime rib over here, y'all!"

"I didn't think sold sapphire prime rib here. Wanna trade meals?" Spike asked.

After dinner, Spike and I walked over to Town Hall to take a look at the town archives to see if we can find the ponies we're after. "You think we can find who we're looking for in here?" I asked.

"I've been helping Mayor Mare out around here for ages." Spike said.

"Yeah, but that doesn't really answer my question." I said.

"Yes, we may be able to find who we're looking for here." Spike said.

"Good, so start looking." I demanded.

"Why can't you help me?" Spike asked.

"I'm allergic to brown filing cabinets; that's why I have a green one in my office at the shop." I said.

"Alright, fine." Spike opened one of the filing cabinets to find who we're looking for.

"Try E." I suggested.

"Why E?" Spike asked.

"E for Engineer." I said.

"What makes you think that's his actual name?" Spike asked.

"He says he's really the engineer." I said.

"He's crazy then." Spike said.

"Who isn't crazy these days?" I asked.

"Good point." Spike said as he looked under the E filing cabinet. After he looked through all the files in that cabinet, he couldn't find who we're looking for, so he tried all the other filing cabinets. He made a mess on the floor full of folders. "C'mon, c'mon! Where is it?" he complained.

"Hey, Spike, look at this." I said as I looked at a folder in the 'new ponies' section. "This dude wears his outfit wherever he goes it would seem, and his name is actually Red Engineer."

Spike facepalmed himself and said, "That's right, the new ponies section! How could I forget?"

"Well.... we found who we're looking for. So go ahead and clean up the files from the floor while I read ol Engineer's folder." I suggested. Spike looked around and saw all the files he threw on the floor, and he groaned.

"Red Engineer, male, age 26, 2322 Trotty St. Ponyville, Equestria." I read the file. "I have the feeling he has the X-Wing. He keeps saying how much he wants to turn it into an actual ship."

"So you're telling me that Red Engineer is his real name?" Spike asked.

"I suppose so. If he's exactly like the engineer from TF2, then he must be a genius in anything machinery. He can be capable of getting that X-Wing working just by hitting it with a wrench." I explained.

"Then let's head over there." Spike suggested.

"No, no, no, first pick up the files and place them back in the cabinets. We don't want the mayor seeing this mess." I said.

"Fine, but can you help me out?" Spike asked.

"Brown filing cabinets." I reminded him. After the files went back inside their cabinets, we took Engineer's file, and followed the streets and houses until we found his address at the southwest of town.

“Alright this is it!” I said, looking at the address in the folder, and then looking at a tree. “That’s the tree my favorite squirrel is in. I offered it a paper clip necklace, and it kept coming back to my trailer ever since.” The squirrel popped out of the tree, and showed off its necklace to me. I chuckled and said, “Squirrels look so cute in paper clip necklaces. Alright, that must be Engineer’s house right there.” I pointed to a house with a bunch of mechanical devices all around it.

“You sure that’s his house?” Spike asked.

“Uhh, have you played TF2? Of course that’s his house. If there’s no dispenser, and there’s a scout knocking on the door asking for one, you can tell it’s his house.” I said.

The Scout from TF2 is knocking on Engineer’s door, keeps asking for a dispenser here. The engineer slams the door on the scout’s face, and he passes out.

“Ouch!” Spike said, witnessing the slam. “Will he be ok?”

“Of course; Scout will just respawn at the spawn point not so far away.”

“These scouts are really startin’ to annoy me.” Engineer said.

“Hey, you Red Engineer, right?” I asked as I walked towards him.

“Who’s talkin’?” he asked.

“Flare Gun’s the name, spreading the lulz is my game.” I said.

“You that red pony from the bidding, right?” Engineer asked.

“Sure am!” I said.

“Alright then.” Engineer said as he took a drink from a bottle of root beer, wiped his mouth with his arm, pumped his shotgun, and then aimed it towards me. “WHERE’S MAH X-WING?!”

“WHAT?!” I yelled.

“Whoa, crazy ol coot!” Spike yelled.

“WHERE’S MAH X-WING, YA VARMIT?! AH CALLED DIBS!” Enginner yelled.

“I DON’T KNOW! I THOUGHT YOU HAD IT?!” I yelled.

“Likely story, partner, but ah don’t believe ya.” Engineer glared at me.

“WHY DO YOU THINK I’M HERE?! I’M HERE FOR THE X-WING! DON’T SHOOT!” I yelled.

“Prepare to die.” Engineer said as he pumped the shotgun, and water squirted out. He took a picture, laughed and said, “Ya should’ve seen the look on your face!”

“WHAT?!” I yelled.

Spike laughed along. “He’s right; you should see that expression on your face.”

“Angry face.” I said angrily.

“So ya here for the X-Wing, huh?” Engineer asked.

“Yeah, didn’t you buy it?” I asked.

“Sorry, partner, ah tried, but that blue pony beat me to it.” Engineer said.

“Oh, I could’ve sworn it was you. I know how much you really wanted it.” I said.

“So if it wasn’t you, it was the blue pony.” Engineer said.

“You know who she is?” I asked.

“I think I have her file with me.” Spike said, giving me the folder for the blue pony.

“Nice save, brah!” I said as I opened the file and read it.

“Crystal Iceblast, age 24, 1234 Avenue Blv.” I said, reading the file.

“Crystal Iceblast must be the one with the X-Wing.” Spike said.

“You’re probably right, brah. I dunno what she’d want with an X-Wing, but we’re gonna give her a piece of our minds!” I said.

“Ah think that would give us brain damage.” Engineer pointed out. So we followed the address until we finally made it to Crystal Iceblast’s house which wasn’t too far away from Engineer’s. When we got to her front yard, I discussed the plan with Engie and Spike.

“Alright, this is it.” I started. “You all remember the plan, right? First, I ring the doorbell. What to do next, Spike?”

“I’ll try to find a way to get behind her while she isn’t looking, and I'll tackle her back.” Spike said.

“Too right; Engie?” I asked.

“I’ll find any ways of persuading her to tell us where the X-Wing is; and if she doesn’t, I’ll chew on her face, and spit it to the crocodiles!” Engie yelled. “Then I’ll rip her wallet out of her purse, and I’ll take all the money out, and give it to a random hobo in Trottingham! Then I’ll-“

“Alright, brah, alright; let’s not get carried away.” I said.

Engie clears his throat and says, “Right, right, sorry.”

“Alright, let’s do this.” I nodded and the three of us walked over to Crystal’s door, and just as Spike was just about to ring the doorbell, I slapped his claw away and reminded him, “HEY! I ring the doorbell!”

“Alright, alright, jeez!” Spike complained. So I did ring the doorbell.

“Who the living hay is it?” a voice asked from the other side.

“We’re here for your X-Wing! Open it!” Engie demanded and slammed on the door.

“No, dude! Don’t tell them that!” I informed him.

Crystal opened the door and sighed in relief, “Thank Faust you’re here! This is a complete nightmare! I’m glad you've come and helped me so quickly!”

“Beg yer pardon?” Engie asked.

“What are you talking about, sista?” I asked.

“I’ve never been so ripped off in my entire life!” Crystal yelled.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“The X-Wing I bought doesn’t fly! Why would the bidder give me a ship that doesn’t even work?” Crystal asked.

“It’s not supposed to move, it’s a movie prop.” I corrected her.

“Not for long. If ah make a few modifications, it can move.” Engie said.

“Oh, so you can assist me then.” Crystal suggested.

“Sure, but y’all would have to share the rights of the flyer over to me.” Engie said.

“And you’re gonna leave me out? I want the flyer just as much as you both do, and I strongly dislike being left out!” I yelled.

“Why? Ya already have a time machine.” Engie reminded me.

“I can pay quite handsomely for the ship, Crystal. I’ll give you 125,000 bits for the ship.” I offered.

“Not so fast, ah’ll give ya 150,000 bits for it!” Engie offered.

“I’ll give you 150,000 bits, Crystal, if you let me have the ship, and I’ll give you, Engie, 1 bit go away.” I offered.

“Nuh uh, that ship is mine!” Engie yelled.

“It belongs to neither of you; it’s mine!” Crystal corrected us. The three of us started to argue about the flyer, and Spike just backed away, trying to stay out of the argument. As the argument just got worse and worse, we were beginning to snap.

“Alright, that’s it, ah’m takin’ what’s rightfully mine.” Engie said.

“No you’re not!” Crystal corrected him.

“Try me!” Engie yelled as he ran inside the house, and into the backyard where the X-Wing is. Crystal chased him through the house, and she bit his tail, and tried to pull him away from the ship. Engie pushes Crystal away from him, tries to climb inside the cockpit (heh, cockpit), and whack the inside with his wrench, although Crystal keeps trying to pull, push and shove Engie out of the cockpit, but Engie’s a pretty big guy.

Out of the bloom, I mean, out of the blue, I arrive on the scene with the same forklift I used before; I crashed through Crystal’s fence, and tried to use the forklift to carry the whole X-Wing out of the backyard and bring it to my trailer. Engie and Crystal knew how affective the forklift was against the ship, so they both jumped off the X-Wing, climbed onto the forklift, and tried pushing me off. The forklift was moving out of control, and as we were fooling around, the forklift crashes into part of the X-Wing and damages it.

“Now look what you’ve done!” Crystal yelled.

“What I’ve done?! Ah was doin’ just fine until you stole that ship from me!” Engie yelled.

“I bought that ship, carnival and shape!” Crystal yelled.

“Oooooh you think you’re so clever, thinkin’ y’all can steal other pony’s dreams by takin’ what is rightfully theirs!” Engie yelled.

As the two were arguing, I wanted to join the argument too because I’m not a big fan of being left out, but before I was able to do so, I saw a writing under the ship. “Wait! Quiet, for a second.”

“What is it, Flare? Can’t ya see we’re arugin’?” Engie asked.

“This ship is mine!” Crystal yelled.

“I don’t think you want the ship.” I said.

“What do you mean?” Crystal asked.

“This ship was made in China.” I said. “Look!” I show them the label under the ship that says ‘Made in China’.

“Made in China? Oh snap! MADE IN CHINA?!” Crystal freaked out.

“Ah can’t make a motorized aerial vehicle outta this piece of junk! This isn’t a replica of the X-Wing of Star Wars; this is a toy life-sized replica made in a place where Dining Room cabinets come from!” Engie yelled.

“So I WAS ripped off, BIGGER TIME!” Crystal yelled.

“That Lord Thorn is a big liar! He’s selling fakes!” I yelled.

“You know what, Engineer? You can have the ship if you really want to; just take it.” Crystal offered.

“Ah don’t want it anymore. Flare you take it.” Engie offered.

“I don’t want it. Here you go, Spike.” I offered.

“Mind if I make a suggestion?” Spike asked. “I think we should take this stuff to Lord Thorn and ask for a full refund.”

“Yeah, that’s a good idea.” Engie nodded.

“Totally! This isn’t even worth 100,017 bits.” Crystal said.

“Where did the other 17 bits come from?” Engie asked.

“Plus tax.” Crystal said.

“Well, it’s about time Lord Thorn pays you back every bit he owes you. We’re going to give him a piece of our minds!” I yelled.

“But ah told ya, that’ll give us brain damage.” Engie reminded us. So now, Engie, Crystal, and I went over to the trailer of Lord Thorn. He was just about to pack up and move on, but luckily, we arrived just in time.

“HEY! You there!” Engie shouted.

“Yo, can I help you?” Lord Thorn asked.

“Yeah, I’d like a refund for this X-Wing.” Crystal demanded as Spike drove in with the forklift carrying the X-Wing.

“Sorry; absolutely no refunds; that is part of my policy, and no acceptations.” Lord Thorn said.

“Your policy says nothing of the movie props being FAKE!” Crystal said.

“Not my fault. You offered to buy the X-Wing.” Lord Thorn said. “And you, sir, bought the time machine.”

“That I did, but knowing that you said it would be fake is out of the question, brah.” I said.

“Look, the props are your responsibility now. You bought them, so it’s all you now. That is all I have to say, now be out of your way.” Lord Thorn said.

“Oooo you rhymed!” I mentioned.

“Well…. It’s done then.” Crystal said sadly. “All 100,017 bits wasted on a phony Oscar Myer bologna fake space ship.”

“That was the last time ah ever put mah faith in merchants like him. He’s a big phony, and deserves to be sued!” Engie yelled.

“Sue me? HA! I showed you the policy, so none of this is my concern.” Lord Thorn said.

That word that Engineer said, ‘sue’, is just the word I needed to hear! I knew what needed to be done. “Mischievous face.” I said. “Now, Lord Thorn, I wouldn’t be so hasty if I were you.”

“What do you mean?” Lord Thorn asked.

“You say you bought actual movie props, and you sell them for a lot of money, correct?” I asked.

“Whatcha talkin’ about, dawg?” Lord Thorn asked.

“I’m talking about copyrighted infringement.” I said.

Lord Thorn started to get nervous. “I... I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I believe you do, bro. I believe you do. You see, there are copyrighted laws about selling unique items to random ponies. The labels on the movie props say ‘made in China’, but you can’t fool me, Thorn. Equestria has no China.” I explained.

“Yeah, so?” Thorn asked.

“So if they weren’t made in China, where were they made?” Crystal asked.

“Lord Thorn’s trailer has the exact shape and size as mine. How does he store all those props in one room?” I asked.

“His trailer’s bigger on the inside, what’s yer point, partner?” Engie asked.

“Ooooh, he doesn’t store all those props in one room does he? Where did those props come from? C’mon, Flare; think, think!” I said to myself. “OOOOOH, AWESOME! You used the plastic machine I saw in there, didn’t you?”

“That is just a prop.” Lord Thorn said.

“That you keep plugged into the wall? There was no movie with a plastic machine. I’ve seen many movies, my friend.” I started walking close to Thorn, and he started to get really nervous. “I’ve been so lonely back in my hometown, so how else do you think I spend my personal time while I was growing up? Playing video games, and watching movies and TV shows! I know your secret, Thorn; you say they’re real props, but you actually just made them yourself!”

“So what I did? You have no way of proving it!” Thorn yelled.

“You’re right, I don’t, but I don’t need to.” I said.

“What are you talking about?” Thorn asked.

“You should place a sign in front of your trailer saying ‘no baby dragons taking pictures allowed’.” I explained.

“He’s right; I took pictures of every detail in that trailer.” Spike said.

“You’re done for, Thorn. If it were anypony else, they’d report you to the movie developers, and each of them would sue you for everything you got!” I said.

“What do you want from me?!” Thorn yelled.

“If you REALLY want to sell movie props, then buy them from the developers themselves; otherwise, you can’t resort to selling something else. Tricking others like that is wrong, and there will be others that’ll find out your dirty little secrets.” I said.

“You’re a clever one, Flare Gun. Very, very clever.” Lord Thorn said.

“I know; I do have that affection on other ponies, don’t I?” I said in a teasing voice.

“Now how about that refund?” Crystal asked.

“Forget it! You buy it, you keep it.” Lord Thorn said.

“Give Crystal her money back, or…. would you rather say bye-bye to your vending career? Your choice.” I explained.

“Ugh! Very well, then.” Thorn said.

“As well as everypony else in town.” I added.

“Fine.” Thorn said.

“And you also have to go to my pizza shop and order something.” I added.

“Whatever.” Thorn shrugged.

“Oh, and you also have to say 10x fast while spinning plates on your nose: ‘Tee-tee tiki has to go pee-pee’.” I added.

”What?” Lord Thorn asked.

“And you also have to-“

“Alright, partner, let’s not overdo it.” Engie cut me off and said.

“Right.” I nodded.

“I’m outta here. Thank you for ruining my career, jerk.” Lord Thorn said as he took his trailer and walked away right after the four of us walked out.

“Wait… I… ruined his career?” I asked. “OH NO, WHAT HAVE I DONE?! I’M SOR-“

“Don’t worry ‘bout it, Flare.” Engie said.

“NO! I RUINED SOMEPONY’S CAREER! I’M A JERK!” I freaked out. “AAAAAAAAH! I’M FRANKING OUT!”

”Wait a second, what’s ‘franking out’?” Crystal asked.

“Noooooow you say you're lonely, you cry the whole night through. So you can cry me a river, cry me a river ‘cause I cried a river for you.” I sang.

“You did a good thing, Flare. His career was making poor nerds even poorer.” Spike said.

“No, we did it, together.” I said.

“Wow, that was the first time I’ve ever worked with anypony in my entire life.” Crystal said.

“What do you mean, Crystal?” I asked.

“I didn’t have any friends growing up. I was lonely at the adoption agency.” Crystal said.

“Wait, so not only do you not have any friends, you were… and orphan?” I asked.

“I dunno what being an orphan has anything to do with it, but regardless, I don't know my biological parents.” Crystal said.

“Wow… sad face; I’m so sorry, sista.” I said.

“Ya think that’s bad? Ah was raised in the engineer academy.” Engie said.

“Wow, and I thought my life was bad!” I said upsettingly.

“What’s your side of the story?” Crystal asked.

“I was bullied, picked on, and betrayed when I was younger. I even almost lost my friendship with those who weld the Elephants of Alarmory.” I said.

“The Elephants of Alarmory?!” Crystal asked. “Wow, dude, that’s deep!”

“That’s what she said!” Spike teased.

“Yeah I just said it." Crystal said.

“You know, we should hang out some time, Crystal and Engineer. I think we’d get along great. We can help eachother out with our problems.” I suggested.

“Sounds like fun!” Crystal agreed.

“All mah friends are idiotic team mates anyway. Ah wouldn’t mind bein’ friends with average everyday ponies.” Engie said.

“Then it’s settled, we’re friends!” I said.

“YAY!” Crystal cheered and started to sing. “I got frie-ends! I got frie-ends!”

“Partners ‘n crime, brothers ‘n arms, peas ‘n a pop, somethin’ else with an ‘n’ in it.” Engie said.

“Alright, but there’s still one more thing we need to get settled.” I said.

“And what might that be?” Crystal asked.

“Spike, if you please?” I asked as Spike hooves over contracts at Engie and Crystal.

“What’s this?” Engie asked.

“Waivers for your surgery.” I said.

“WHAT?!” Crystal yelled.

“Surgery for what?” Engie asked.

I started laughing. “LAWL, LAWL, LAWL, J-K; it’s the Friendship Agreement.”

“Friendship Agreement, huh?” Engie asked. “For what?”

“Just so our friendships are fair, nopony betrays one another, and making sure that we borrow money, we won’t be loan sharks about it.” I said.

I feel that there’s a big future for me and these two ponies. I made myself some new friends, and I feel I can actually trust them! Then again, I had that same feeling with some of my ex-friends back at home, but they seem pretty promising. We’ll see what the future holds for us. Afterwords, I decided to write a letter to Luna.

“Dear Princess Luna, After some time in Ponyville, I finally made some actual friends. Yes, the Mane Six and Spike are friends too, but the Mane Six are mostly just teaching me, and I finally passed one of the tasks that Twilight gave me. I also learned today that even if you think that a certain someone is a foe, they can actually be your closest friends in the near-future. I also learned not to trust bidders, stay away from them. Your loyal subject and friend, Flare Gun.”

After writing the friendship letter to Princess Luna, I decided to play with my new time machine. I don’t care if it was fake, it was still pretty cool to have it. After playing around with it for a while, I suddenly regained consciousness while sitting in my time machine in the middle of a forest. The forest was very dark and creepy as I looked around. I looked at my time dial and it said, ‘Apl 28 802,701’.

“It worked!” I said shockingly. “It really worked! They said I was mad, but it worked!” Just then, a bunch of white fury beasts with blue faces and glowing yellow eyes started walking towards me with hungry looks on their faces. I started to freak out; “Oh no, not morlocks! Not flesh-eating morlocks! AAAAAAAAH!” I started screaming as the morlocks started ripping out my flesh and gobbled me up at the spot. Just then, out of the flash, I woke up inside the time machine that was inside my trailer; it was all a dream.

“Flare, you okay?” Spike asked.

“We have to get rid of the time machine.” I said.

“It is a little big for the living room, isn’t it?” Spike asked.

“Uhh, yeah, that’s the problem; it’s too big.” I agreed.

“Well good, I got some guys to help us move it. Come in, fellas!” Spike yelled out to the repo folks outside, and they opened the door, walked inside, but the repo folks were morlocks with repo clothes on with the words ‘starving morlocks’ on the back of their outfits.

“Oh no, morlocks!” I said frightenedly. “Eat him! Eat him!” I pointed to Spike and started screaming again as they got closer to me. Just then, I woke up on my bed from another dream, and I then I yelled, “SPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKE!”

Author's Note

If you read the old Book 1, this chapter used to be The Unicorn Games chapter. I changed it because the old Unicorn Games seemed to be a bit stupid with Twilight and Rarity bragging to Spike to take their side, so I replaced the chapter, and now we're meeting Crystal Iceblast and Red Engineer for the very first time. The Unicorn Games chapter will be moved to another chapter, so instead of just Spike training Flare, Engie and Crystal will join.

In Twilight's Hooves

One morning, around 11 AM, my friends and I returned at my trailer after a long day of paint-ball. Our camouflage armor was half-covered in blue paint, but mine was covered in orange paint. “If nopony’s gonna say it, I will. We really suck at paintball.” Aqua said.

“That was absolutely humiliating.” Psyche said.

“Oh, come on, guys! Some battles you win, and some battles you lose.” Blaze said, attempting to cheer us up.

“Yes, but you don’t have to lose to Featherweight’s Cutesinera.” Psyche said.

A cutaway shows a flashback that happened earlier that morning of Psyche, Blaze, Engie, Aqua, and I playing paintball, but during this time, the five of us were falling back to the shed. Once we got back, we closed the door shut tight, and tried to catch our breath. “That was close.” Aqua said.

Engie then inhaled deeply and said, “Luna! Ah love the smell of paintballs in the mornin’!”

“Yeah, still funny, Engie.” Psyche said.

“There’s no way we can get to the ridge! Featherweight’s Cutesinera has us completely cut off!” Blaze said.

“But what about the creek bed?” Aqua asked.

“The Apple family has control of that.” Psyche said.

“Get outta there and face us like stallions, you cowardly varmints!” Granny Smith yelled from outside.

“Well, that’s it then. We’re doomed.” Engie said.

“I think the time has come to acknowledge that we are paying the price for SOME OF US failing to attend my Noble Six Paintball Strategy Meet, as well as the costume meeting for Pinkie’s Cosplay Party.” I pointed out as I glared at Blaze.

“I told you; I accidentally swallowed a bunch of bees after buying some of that infested honey.” Blaze reminded me.

“And I told YOOOOU… I wanted to see a doctor’s note!” I reminded him.

“Ah got an idea! How about we hide behind the dumpsters, and we ambush ponies when they need to pee?” Engie suggested.

“No go. The dumpsters are deep in Cake Territory.” Psyche said.

“Any of you dears want some cupcakes?” Mrs. Cake asked as she walked inside our shed and offered us some.

“Oh boy, ah’m starvin’!” Engie said excitedly.

Just then, I jumped in between Engie and Mrs. Cake and aimed my paintball gun right at Mrs. Cake. “Just walk away, Cake, and nopony’s uniform gets hurt.” I threatened her.

“Oh… umm… alright.” Mrs. Cake said awkwardly as she walked away.

“Why did you do that?” Engie asked.

“Accepting food from the enemy? You of all ponies should know at least the simplest things from the battlefield.” I said.

“Flare, this is just a game.” Blaze said.

“Just a game?! Monopoly is just a game; Checkers is just a game; Life is just a game, and not just the board game, life itself. No, this is WAR, gentlecolts! This is a war to keep our uniforms clean!” I explained. “Now I say what we need to do is plan a tactical retreat. Now, did any of you play Call of Duty 2 and play that second D-Day level about mostly falling back?” I asked.

“No.” Blaze said.

“Well, that’s not important. Now, Engie, Psyche, Aqua, and I will run away, Blaze you cover us.” I instructed them.

“Hang on, why don’t I run with you?” Blaze asked.

“Because you chose bees over victory,” I said as Blaze spat out a bee from his mouth. The cutaway ends.

“But you didn’t obey my strategies, and you all ended up being slaughtered.” I said.

“Hey it was worth it when Blaze shot you.” Psyche said.

I looked at my armor and saw all the orange paint on me. “Well even if you all weren’t slaughtered, you would be court marshaled.” I said.

“What’s up, daddy-o’s?” Crystal asked as she barged inside my trailer.

“Implying that we’re all dads and cheerios, we’re doing just fine.” I nodded.

“Why do you take everything so literally?” Psyche asked me.

“Yeah Crystal, why?” I asked her

“I don’t even know! I can’t control it!” Crystal cried out.

“Well, I dunno about yaguys, but I’m just gonna sit here and watch some TV, and wait for my turn to use the shower.” Aqua said as he sat on the couch.

“Aqua’s in my spo-ot.” I sang.

“Are ya gonna use it?” Aqua asked.

“Not at the moment, no. I’m going to use the shower first.” I said.

“Then why don’t I sit here?” Aqua asked.

“Why don’t you sit there?” I repeated.

“Here we go.” Blaze said as he rolled his eyes.

“That is my spot. In an ever-changing world, it is a single point of consistency. If my life were expressed as a function on a miles on a carriage, that spot at the moment I first sat on it would be zero-zero-zero-zero.” I explained.

“I bet you don’t even know consistency means.” Psyche said.

“I do so know what it means!” I corrected him.

“Oh yeah? What does it mean?” Psyche asked mischievously.

“Oh shut up!” I said angrily as I walked into my bathroom so I can take a shower, and Psyche started to chuckle to himself.

“Ah dunno why he’s takin’ a shower first. He always takes the longest showers.” Engie said.

“Meh, it’s his house. Let him waste all his money on the water.” Aqua said.

“Oh right, I almost forgot.” I said as I walked out of my bathroom, and stuck a tube on Aqua’s horn. “You’re still in my spot.” I reminded him, and then Aqua slides over to the next part of the couch just to shut me up… well, Aqua wouldn’t say to shut me up, that’s more of Psyche’s or Blaze’s words.

“Alright, I moved. Happy now, Flare?” Aqua asked.

“I’m not unhappy.” I said as I walked back inside the bathroom to take a shower.

“Why doesn’t he just use his own magic?” Aqua asked.

“I wouldn’t ask him if I were you, Aqua.” Psyche said. “It would just create more problems than it would solve.”

“Boy, I sure do love Flare, but he’s one serious wackadoodle.” Crystal said.

“Serious is one of the things I wouldn’t call him.” Psyche said.

“Flare’s a pain, but he’s loyal, and kind, and he needs us.” Blaze said. "If we weren't around, trust me, we'd be the ones to take the pain."

"By that do you mean he'll slaughter us?" Engie asked.

"No, I mean, he's gonna be upset the rest of his life and we'd feel guilty. He's like Fillex on the Odd Couple." Blaze said.

"Trust me, Blaze. I don't think ANY of us will survive without eachother." Aqua said. "It's us against the world, right?"

"Right." Blaze said. "Without you five, well.... there is no Blaze Goldheart."

"Don't lie. You will still have Dashie." Engie pointed out.

"Right." Blaze agreed.

“Oh cool is this one of those paintball guns you use?” Crystal asked as she picks up Blaze’s paintball gun.

“Yeah! You should come and play with us sometime!” Blaze said.

“Oh no thanks. Normally when I wanna shoot things, it’s mainly because I want them to leave my coltfriend alone. Ol Thundy can’t take care of himself.” Crystal said as she accidently pulls the trigger of the paintball gun and orange paint stains cover a part of my spot on the couch. Crystal gasps after she does that.

“Oh ho ho! This is so rich!” Engie chuckled. “This is much funnier than the time ah gave mah twin nephews those clothes.” A cutaway shows Engie dressing a couple of identical foals with matching outfits. One of the outfits on one of the twins said CTRL+C, and the other twin’s outfit said CTRL+V. Engie chuckles after he dresses them. “Oh this is gonna be a classic!”

“Excuse me?! Who are you?! What are you doing to mah babies!” a mare yelled at Engie as she entered the room.

“Oh that’s right, ah don’t have nephews.” Engie remembered. The cutaway ends.

Meanwhile at the Golden Oak Library, Spike was playing Devil May Cry 4 on my spare XBUCKS that he didn’t have permission to take, where his player was fighting Echidna the She-Viper. "WHOA MY CELESTIA!" he yelled. "That thing just came outta nowhere! Scared the butterflies outta me! FAUST! Wow, riding this thing sure is fun! That's right, punch it. Wouldn't do you any good anyway, bro. WHOA! He just hit the tree. George of the Jungle anypony? Wow, he's good. Try some what on for size?” While Spike was playing, Twilight teleported over to the kitchen with a blanket around her, and a red nose. Spike didn’t pay attention to her, so Twilight goes through her cabinet to find a mug, and she fills it with water. Twilight then uses her magic to make the water boil, and then she levitates a tea-bag over to the cup to make tea. When Twilight turns around, she gets startled by Spike’s presents as he was standing right in front of her. “Twilight, how many times do I have to say it?” he asked.

“Oh, Spike! I… I thought you were… playing your game?” Twilight asked embarrassingly.

“I needed to get some water. Look, Twilight, you don’t have to get the tea yourself. You’re sick as a dog, and you need bed rest.” Spike said.

“Well, technically speaking, dogs don’t normally get sick as much as us ponies do. Their immune systems are more….” Twilight explained trying to change the subject, but Spike just glares at her. “Look, I didn’t want to bother you. You were busy on your game, and I thought you did enough for me today.”

“Twilight, its okay. You need bed rest. Now let me boil up that tea that for you.” Spike insisted.

“Oh, it’s okay, Spike.” Twilight said as she sniffled. “I already boiled it to the right temperature.” But while Twilight was talking, Spike blows some of his fire breath right on the tea mug, and the water inside the mug completely vaporized. “Spike, I just said-!” she said angrily, but then she notices the scroll laying on the floor. “Oh. It’s a letter from the princess.”

Spike opens up the scroll and begins to read it. The scroll says: “You are about to receive a message from Princess Celestia.” Just then, Spike burps up another scroll.

“Oh! It’s a letter from the princess.” Twilight said again.

Spike opens up the other scroll and begins to read it: “Dearest Twilight Sparkle,
As you know, you’ve been my personal student for many years, but even though you haven’t been in my school’s regular classes, I’d love it if you would join the other students in my school for a reunion.”

“A reunion?” Twilight asked.

“This will be an excellent chance for you to get to know the other students you haven’t been able to social with much.” Spike continued reading.

“Oh trust me there’s a reason for that.” Twilight sniffled and said.

“But if you do not think it would work out, the main reason I want you to come is for you to listen to me as I give out secrets of my most secretive spells; ones unknown to all of ponykind.” Spike continued.

“What?! Princess Celestia has secret spells, the most secretive spells unknown to all of ponykind, and I’m too sick to go!?” Twilight yelled angrily. “Wait, maybe I’ll have some time. The medicine Zecora gave me is supposed to take effect in two days. When will the reunion start?”

“Tomorrow.” Spike read.

“Oh… well that’s a big bummer alright.” Twilight said upsettingly.

“I’m sorry, Twilight, that you won’t be able to go.” Spike said.

“Ooooh…” Twilight sniffed and pats Spike’s head. “It’s alright, Spike. It’s not like those spells were important anyway… Princess Celestia’s secret spells… spells that are so secretive that it is unknown to all of ponykind, and she’ll only be sharing them that one night- GAAAAAAAAAH!” Twilight huffed.

“Twilight, calm down!” Spike instructed her.

“Calm down? Calm down?! This is not a good time to calm down, Spike! This is the princess’s most secretive spells! She doesn’t just tell any pony at any moment of any day! Do you realize what this means, Spike?!” Twilight freaked out.

“For you screaming on my face, you’re getting saliva on me, and you’re going to make me sick to?” Spike teased.

“Spike! This is serious! I’ll never have another chance for this again! I have to go to that reunion!” Twilight said.

“But what about your illness?” Spike asked.

Twilight starts groaning. “Can’t this cure go any faster?!”

“Twilight…” Spike said trying to calm her down.

“You’re right, Spike, you’re right. I’m overreacting a bit. I’ll need to think of a plan. Now can I go to that reunion without getting other ponies sick?” Twilight asked herself.

“You can try making a clone of yourself.” Spike suggested.

“Even if that were possible, if I gave the clone some of my DNA in my current state, she’ll be born sick.” Twilight said.

“If you didn’t think making clones was possible, how did you know it would be born sick?” Spike asked.

“It’s common sense!” Twilight said and sniffled.

“How can it be common sense if it doesn’t exist?” Spike asked.

“Spike, this is no time for jokes! I have to think of a way to get to the reunion but without being there, but how is that possible?” Twilight asked.

“Why don’t you just get another unicorn to impersonate as you, and they’ll have little gadgets on them, like a camera and a mic, so it’ll be like you’re actually there, like a simulation for example.” Spike suggested.

“Wait, what?” Twilight asked.

“Yeah, that was another joke. Sorry, Twilight.” Spike said.

“No, wait… that’s actually genius! Oh, but where am I going to get these gadgets, and who will impersonate as me, and who can make them look like me? Who knows a lot of interesting magic; something the average unicorn doesn’t have?” Twilight asked.

“Rarity?” Spike suggested.

“She was actually my first choice, and somehow, I knew she was going to be your first choice.” Twilight said as she smirked at him.

“Actually my first choice was going to be Pokey Pierce, but then I remembered Rarity’s a unicorn.” Spike said.

“How can you not know?” Twilight asked.

“I spend more time looking at her hair, and her eyes.” Spike said as he looks like he’s about to doze off.

“So you look at her hair, but you don’t notice she’s a unico- nevermind. Anyways, Rarity says she’s busy with an important client tomorrow night.” Twilight said.

“All clients are important to her. Just ask Sweetie Belle.” Spike said.

Anypony else in mind?” Twilight asked.

“Lyra?” Spike suggested.

“Oh no, if this is going to be a reunion, you’re going to have to go, and you and Lyra just… don’t get along that well.” Twilight said.

“Oh c’mon! It was just a harmless joke!” Spike yelled. A cutaway shows Spike holding out his hand in front of Lyra saying, “Hey, gimmie five.”

“Oh shut up! I hate it when you tease me like that.” Lyra complained as she glares at Spike and smacks his hand away with her hoof. The cutaway ends.

“Well the only other unicorns I can think of that may be interested is Aqua or Flare.” Spike said.

“Then I guess one of them will have to do. I’ll give them a call.” Twilight said.

“I already have a feeling that this may not go as well as you predict.” Spike said.

“I know Aqua’s not really a talkative type with ponies he doesn’t know and he tends to be shy, and I know Flare may mess things up by acting too much of himself than to me, but I am desperate to learn Princess Celestia’s secret spells, and if this is the only way, then I have no other alternative.” Twilight said.

“Well I’m still opened to Rarity going.” Spike said.

Back at my trailer, I was still in the shower, but my friends were worried because Crystal sprayed paintball on my spot. I’m guessing because I’m narrating the story, it’s obvious I’ll find out sooner or later, but let’s see how soon it’ll take. “You think he’ll notice?” Crystal asked.

“If Flare’s the amazin’ cook he claims to be, he should pay attention to detail, especially somethin’ like this.” Aqua said.

“Oh what are we gonna do? Flare’s going to be out of the shower soon; we need to think of something.” Crystal said.

“Well one thing’s for sure, you are screeeeeeewed!” Engie teased.

“Why do we have to tell him I did it?” Crystal asked.

“We’re not gonna tell him we did it.” Engie said.

“Yeah, I’m right now in 2 strikes; 3 strikes and you’re out.” Blaze said.

“What were you’re two strikes?” Engie asked.

“Well this was when I got Chinese food.” Blaze said.

A cutaway shows Blaze walking into my kitchen with a big bag of Chinese food for all of us, after my friends got what they wanted, I asked Blaze, “Did you ask for my orange hayroll’s broccoli to be diced, not shredded?” I asked.

“Yes.” Blaze said.

“Even though the menu says shredded?” I asked.

“Yes.” Blaze said as he took out my order from the bag.

“Fried rice, not white?” I asked.

“Yes.” Blaze said as he took out my rice.

“Did you go to the market place and get the good mustard?” I asked.

“Yes.” Blaze said as he took out the mustard from the bag.

“Did you get the bottled soy sauce from the market?” I asked.

”Yes.” Blaze said as he took out the soy sauce from the bag.

“Thank you.” I said.

“You’re welcome.” Blaze said.

“What took you so long?” I asked.

“Just sit down and eat!” Blaze demanded.

“Alright.” I said as I was about to sit down on the table, but as I was walking, I checked my food, and then I showed it to Blaze and glared at him.

“Ok, it’s shredded! What do you want me to do?!” Blaze yelled.

“I want you to check the order before you accept it.” I said.

“Sorry. It’s not like I’m gonna eat any of this garbage, I hate Chinese food!” Blaze said. I started to glare at him. The cutaway ends.

“And what was the second strike?” Aqua asked.

“That was both strikes.” Blaze said. “The only reason I got the Chinese food was because I was the fastest to getting the food to Flare’s hot… also I like the fortune cookies.”

“I don’t know how this is supposed to help me. Flare’s going to be super mad at me.” Crystal said.

“Oh let him be mad at you, he never holds a grudge for more than a couple of days.” Psyche said. “That’s one of the only reasons why I hang with him.”

“Alright I got an idea! What if we just told Flare somepony broke in?” Crystal suggested.

“Just to shoot the couch with a paintball gun?” Blaze asked.

“Let’s say it was Pinkie Pie.” Crystal said.

“We could tell him the couch should stay away from your coltfriend.” Engie teased and chuckled.

“Or we can just flip it over.” Blaze suggested.

“Ah! Good idea, Blaze!” Crystal said as she quickly turned the couch cushion over. “There! Good as new!”

“Umm, butt print; there needs to be a butt print.” Psyche pointed out.

Crystal then sat on the couch and started wiggling her flank on it, and then standing back up again. “There! Butt print.”

“It’s too small and perfect.” Engie said.

“Aww, Engie, you’re such a flatterer.” Crystal blushed and said.

“Ah live to please.” Engie with a smile.

“Don’t get any funny ideas, mister! I’m taken!” Crystal smirked at him and said close to his face.

“That makes two ponies in our group with a relationship.” I said as I walked in, wearing a robe and a towel on my head.

“FLARE! Hi!” Crystal said surprisingly.

“Hi, Crystal!” I said.

“Wow was your shower?” Crystal asked.

“It was alright. I was definitely NOT thinking about Rainbow Dash in there.” I said.

“Wait, what?” Blaze asked.

“I was definitely NOT, I said NOT, thinking about Rainbow Dash in there.” I repeated.

“Oh, ok, good. I would’ve killed you if you did.” Blaze said in relief.

“Yeah, Blaze is such a good friend for doing somethin’ like that. You know what the best thing about friends is, Flare?” Engie asked.

“They don’t talk incessantly for no particular reason?” I asked.

“No, no, friends FORGIVE the little things.” Engie said.

“Well anyways, it’s my turn to use the shower.” Crystal said as she was trying to walk out on us.

“Don’t you dare, missy.” Engie said.

“Hello, pad!” I said as I took my electronic pad from the table and turned it on. “Hello, Sims Freeplay app! Time to send the actors to the studio!” I sat down on my spot on the couch and checked on everything in the Sims app, but as I was doing so, I was wiggling around on the cushion, tossing and turning, and moving my legs around, and I felt that something wasn’t right. “Something’s wrong.” I said.

“Umm… what do you mean, brah?” Blaze asked suspiciously.

“I’m not sure…” I said as I wiggled my behind on the cushion again. “It doesn’t feel right!”

“What are you talking about, man?” Blaze asked. I stood up from my spot, turned the cushion around, and I saw the paintball stain on it. I gasped and looked at my friends in shock. My friends were a bit surprised, except for Aqua and Psyche who didn’t really care. “Oh that! Crystal did it.” Blaze said.

“I’m sorry, Flare!” Crystal said.

“Sorry? You’re sorry?!” I asked in anger. “Spilling a drink on the floor is sorry. Getting a math problem wrong is sorry. Purposely drop a pizza on the floor so the customer who didn’t donate in my good-will jar to get sick is sorry. THIS, this is a catastrophe!”

“Look, Flare, it was an accident. Crystal would never do somethin’ like this.” Aqua said.

“Well, that isn’t the case now is it?” Engie asked.

“Ya’re not helpin’, Engie.” Aqua said.

“I know it was an accident, and I know Crystal is sorry, and for that I won’t give her any strikes on her chart.” I said.

“Oh good.” Crystal said in relief.

“But she’s gonna help me clean this up!” I yelled. “I mean… this is my spot!”

“I know, you love this spot.” Psyche said.

“No… I love my mom. The feelings I have for my spot are… much greater.” I said.

“Flare, I promise, we’ll take this to the dry cleaners, I’ll pay for the cleaning bill, and your spot will be good as new.” Crystal promised.

“A dry cleaner? I know the dry cleaner in town. You know what the sign said on his desk? He’s not a full-time dry cleaner. He also makes keys.” I said.

“What’s your point?” Psyche asked.

“My point is we’ll need somepony with more experience to handle this job. My spot doesn’t deserve somepony as disgraceful as a dry cleaning key smith.” I said.

“Well, I’m sure Zecora might have something that may come in handly.” Aqua suggested. Everypony looked at Aqua funny because he said 'handy' wrong. "Oh pipe down! I have an accent. Get off my case!"

“Have you seen the sign on Zecora's desk? She’s not a full-time potion maker. She also makes poetry.” I said.

“That’s just how she talks, Flare.” Blaze reminded me.

“To practice for her poetry.” I added. “We’re going to need to visit somepony that will guarantee my spot to be… no pun intended… SPOTLESS!” Just then, my friends and I went over to Twilight’s house and I started knocking on her door. Knock, knock, knock; “Twilight?” Knock, knock, knock; “Twilight?” Knock, knock, knock; “Twilight?”

“Ya actually think Twilight will have a spell to fix ya’re spot?” Aqua asked.

“I have never seen a unicorn with more spells than Twilight. She will definitely have what I need.” I said.

“Yeah, like the time she helped me stop cloaked monsters from invading my house.” Blaze said.

A cutaway shows Twilight over at Rainbow Dash and Blaze’s house, using a spell to get some dementors away from there. “EXPECTO PATRONUM!” Twilight yelled as she used her patroness spell to keep the dementors away. For those who are curious, Twilight’s patroness is an owl.

“Thanks, Twilight! I have no idea why they keep coming here.” Blaze said.

“It’s quite alright, Blaze. For those who have horrible pasts like you and the Noble Six, I can understand why they want you.” Twilight said.

“Right.” Blaze nodded.

“Well, I must be getting back to the library now. See ya!” Twilight said as she used her balloon to leave his house and back home. Blaze then looks around suspiciously and walks inside his house.

“Alright, Sirius, they’re gone.” Blaze said to Sirus Black, who was taking shelter in his house after he’s escaped from Azkaban. He was just passing through Equestria on the way to Hogwarts. The cutaway ends.

Just then, Spike opened Twilight’s front door and noticed it was us. “Oh, hey guys! What’s going-“

But before Spike could finish talking, Twilight teleported to where Spike was, which the impact of the teleportation pushed him away. “Flare! Aqua! Thank Celestia, you’re here!” she said in relief.

“Ok, I’ll thank her later.” I said.

“What is this about, Twlight?” Aqua asked.

“I need your help.” Twilight said as she sneezed.

“Are you sick?” Psyche asked.

“No, I’m studying. What do you think I’m doing?!” Twilight asked sarcastically.

“Sorry, I was just asking.” Psyche said.

“No, I’m sorry, Psyche.” Twilight said sadly. “I’ve gotten a terrible flu, and I don’t think I can go on this condition.

“Go where?” Crystal asked.

“I don’t know. My school reunion that’s starting tomorrow night.” Twilight said sadly.

“So do you know, or do you not know?” I asked.

“Why?” Aqua asked.

“Because Princess Celestia is going to reveal her most secretive of spells to her former students, and I really can’t miss that!” Twilight said.

“Aren’t you still her student?” Blaze asked.

“Yes, but I mean former students that used to be taught personally at her school. I mean, I wasn’t even part of her school in general; I was just her personal student. I never gotten along well with the other students.” Twilight said.

“Wow, really?” I asked.

“Yeah. Most of the students got jealous because I’m the princesses’ personal student and they’re not.” Twilight said as she sneezes.

“Bless you.” I said.

“Thanks.” She responded. “That’s pretty much the main reason why I stuck to the books. I never gotten along well with them.”

“I know how you feel, sista.” I said as I placed my hoof on her shoulder, and then right after, I placed hoof sanitizer on my hooves as fast as I could, and then Twilight uses her magic to teleport to her bed.

“Well you’re obviously in the mood for laziness. Just look at you, teleporting from place to place all the time. You can always walk, save the magic for later.” Crystal suggested.

“I’ve been thinking of that myself, actually.” Spike said.

“What’s so special about your high school reunion anyway?” I asked. “So what you can’t go?”

“So what?” Twilight asked in a grumpy tone, and then she teleports in front of my face. “SO WHAT?! Flare, do you understand how much of a big deal this is?!”

“N-Negetive.” I said in a nervous tone.

Twilight started to get upset again, and looked down. “I’m sorry, Flare.” She said.

“Don’t be sorry. I like it when you’re mad. It makes me feel superior to you the friendship game. Mwah ha ha ha.” I said mischievously.

Twilight glares at me and then sneezes again. “Faust bless you.” Aqua said as he gave Twilight her box of tissues.

“Thank you, Aqua.” Twilight said as she blew her nose on one of the tissues.

“But it’s just.... I learned from Celestia so much, and.... you know.... she usually teaches some of her bigger, more secret magics. Ones that a normal unicorn can’t do. Ones that can save millions of lives.” Twilight said.

“Are you gonna say you’re welcome to her, Aqua?” I asked him.

“No, why?” Aqua asked.

“She said thank you. Why doesn’t anypony say you’re welcome after somepony sneezes and says thank you? I mean really!” I complained.

“So ya want Flare or me take your place? Ya want us to impersonate ya for the reunion?” Aqua asked.

“It’s up to you really. I can find other unicorns that may help me out.” Twilight said.

“Or other alicorns.” Crystal said.

“What other alicorns?” Psyche asked.

“Alicorn OCs.” Crystal said.

“Good luck trying to find one, Crystal. They normally disappear right after appearing in Equestria, unless they’re renegades.” Psyche explained.

A cutaway shows an alicorn OC with stripes, bat-wings, and bite marks on their ears appearing through a portal of some sort, and then Princess Celestia shows up in front of the OC and said mischievously, “Hello! Welcome to Equestria! The punishment for impersonating royalty is death.” The cutaway ends.

“Princess Celestia would never say that!” Twilight said shockingly.

“It’s a cutaway gag; anythin’ that happens in it normally never happened.” Engie whispered in Twilight’s ear.

“The six of you are an odd bunch, but there’s nothing wrong that.” Twilight said.

“Anyways, as I was sayin’… I don’t think I’ll be able to impersonate ya, Twilight.” Aqua said.

“Oh? Why is that?” Twilight asked.

“I just don’t feel comfortable with this situation. I don’t want to be a pony I’m not.” Aqua said.

“That’s fine, Aqua. Flare, how about you?” Twilight asked.

“Oh no thanks, Twilight. I got some plans tonight.” I said.

“What plans?” Twilight asked.

“Plans on NOT going to reunions. Sounds boring.” I said.

“It’s ok, I understand.” Twilight said.

“Now wait just a minute.” Spike stopped us. “Flare, you have to go for Twilight. It’s a friendship lesson.”

“What?” Twilight asked. “No it’s no-“

“Shhh.” Spike shushed her. “Flare, this is a BIG friendship lesson Twilight is giving you. She’s asking you for a huge favor, and it wouldn’t be nice to say no to something like that to a face like this.” Spike pointed to Twilight’s sick face with an awkward look.

“I guess not.” I said.

“Besides, this is your chance to be Twilight! You’d be in her hooves! You’d learn new magic spells, there’s a lot of free food there, and don’t get me started on the mares.” Spike explained as he elbowed me with a mischievous look on his face.

“Did you say… free food!?” I asked excitedly.

“I sure did!” Spike winked at me.

“Ok! I’ll do it!” I accepted.

“Of course you’ll do it. Everypony was expectin’ that.” Engie said.

“Are you sure, Flare?” Twilight asked as she teleported behind me.

“WHOA!” I yelled. “I… GET… STARTLED… EASILY!”

“I’m… sorry… Flare.” Twilight said. “Anyways, I hope you understand that if you’re going to be me, you can’t be yourself.”

“Don’t ask me to not be myself! That kind of attitude drove me out of Mareami!” I complained.

“I’m not asking you to not be yourself when you’re you, but you’re going to be me, which means you have to act like me, talk like me, look like me. None of this ‘Lawl remember’ nonsense.” Twilight said.

“I don’t say that ALL the time.” I corrected her.

“You say it a lot though.” Blaze reminded me.

“Whoa, Twilight. You think it’s actually a good idea to have a pony like Flare to take over as you for the reunion?” Psyche asked.

“That’s why she’s asking me in general; not somepony LIKE me.” I reminded him. "I'm sure you of all ponies should know there's barely a pony in Equestria like me."

“I appreciate your concern, Psyche, but no other unicorn would volunteer. I know Flare is a questionable pony, but… I trust him.” Twilight said as she smiled at me. I just froze for a minute there emotionless, not knowing what to say.

“C’mon, really?” Psyche asked.

“Yes, really. He’s a good student of mine. I taught him friendship well. He’s helping me in my time of need when nopony else will.” Twilight said.

“Are you sure that’s not your sickness talking?” Psyche asked.

“I am 100% sure.” Twilight said.

“Now, Psyche, if Twilight has complete confidence in Flare getting this job done, then I’ll trust him in this too.” Blaze said.

“Twilight said she trusts me.” I said in shock. “This is probably a dream though.” I then took out a glass of warm water and placed my hoof in it. “No, I don’t feel anything out of the ordinary. Maybe I should try this.” I then poured all of the warm water on my face and then started yelling, “OH LUNA, IT BURNS! It’s like squirting lemon juice on a cut! Maybe I’m actually dead and this heaven.” I suddenly took out two defibrillators, charged them up, and placed them on my chest. “CLEAR!” I yelled as I electrocuted myself with them and then passed out on the floor.

“Ok, he’s unconscious.” Twilight said. “Engie, I’ll need your help in making a voice changer if you don’t have one already, and a headset with a microphone and a mini-camera on it.”

“Ah don’t need to make any of those, ah got them!” Engie said. “Ah got a nice headset with even a volume control on it, and it doesn’t come with that annoying little button that you accidentally push to shut off the microphone and you don’t even notice.”

“Excellent! How about the voice changer?” Twilight asked.

“Well, the voice changer is actually a pill. Flare will need to swallow it.” Engie said as he walked out of Twilight’s house to get the voice changing pills and devices.

“Then get those. The rest of you, take Flare to Rarity’s for a full makeover.” Twilight instructed the rest of my friends.

“Why did ya ‘ok’ when Flare was unconscious?” Aqua asked.

“Because… I didn’t want him to know, I want to keep a careful watch on him while he’s me.” Twilight said.

“I thought ya said ya trusted him?” Aqua asked.

“I do… but… you can’t be too sure.” Twilight said. “Plus, Spike’s going with him.”

“I am?” Spike asked.

“Of course! This is Celestia’s school we’re talking about. Of course the assistant will have to go.” Twilight said.

“But you’re sick.” Spike said.

“Flare’s friends here will take care of me; is that alright with you guys?” Twilight asked.

“It’s no trouble at all, Twlight!” Crystal said.

“Yeah, don’t worry about it. We might as well keep watch over things with Flare with you.” Blaze said.

“I’M A ZOMBIE!” I yelled as I woke up in a flash. “I’m back from the dead, and I seen heaven! The only thing that was really missing in my heaven was the buffet with the really big shrimps.”

“Ponies don’t eat meat, remember?” Blaze reminded me.

“Seafood isn’t meat.” I corrected him.

“Yeah, that’s true.” Psyche nodded.

“Anyways, Flare, we’re taking you to Rarity’s for a full makeover!” Crystal said.

“Oh cool! You think Rarity can dress me like KISS? It’ll be a good excuse for me to practice putting my tongue on my nose in public without anypony being disgusted.” I said.

“No, we’re dressing you like Twilight!” Blaze said.

“Why?” I asked.

“Don’t you remember? You’re taking over as her to her school reunion, so Twilight can witness Princess Celestia revealing her secret spells.” Blaze explained.

“How? How is me being there going to help Twilight learn new spells? I’m probably going to forget them after five minutes.” I said.

“Engie’s heading back to his house to get the necessary electronics. What you see, Twilight will see!” Blaze explained.

“Is she…. Is she gonna see me go to the bathroom?” I asked awkwardly.

“We’ll be sure to turn off the monitor then.” Twilight said awkwardly as well.

“Alright, I’ll do it, and I’ll come home with a bunch of containers filled with the leftover hors d'oeuvres.” I said. “Eeeyup! Hors d'oeuvres!”

A few minutes later, we went over to see Rarity to get my disguise ready. Rarity was first observing me and measuring me. Blaze, Aqua, and Psyche were also there. “So ya think ya can do it?” Aqua asked.

“Of course, darling!” Rarity said. “Even though I usually make clothing and dresses, I never decorated a pony to look like another pony before. I can see it now: A work of art! Flare Gun as a replica of Twilight Sparkle. You’ll look gorgeous darling!”

“Who will look gorgeous, me or Aqua?” I asked.

“Why, you of course.” Rarity said.

“Oh… sorry, buddy.” I said to him.

“What are ya sorry for?” Aqua asked.

“Nuh-uh-uh… don’t even bother asking.” Psyche whispered.

“Now, dear, I need you to take off your vest and shoes.” Rarity asked.

“What?” I asked. “Are you asking me to strip?!”

“Brah, ponies don’t normally wear clothes.” Blaze reminded me.

“In this group they do! I wear a vest and shoes; you wear a Wonderbolts suit wherever you go; Engie wears overalls, a helmet, goggles, and a red shirt; and Aqua wears blue armor.” I reminded him.

“It’s necessary for this procedure to work, dear. Now if you please?” Rarity asked.

”Hmph… fine. But everypony look away.” I instructed them.

“Dude, I really don’t think it makes much of a difference.” Blaze said.

“I SAID LOOK AWAY!” I demanded. Rarity, Blaze, Psyche, and Aqua all turned around away from me. I took off my shoes and my vest, and I folded my vest and placed it neatly on the table.

“Can we look now?” Aqua asked.

“No! I’m still folding my vest!” I said as I finished folding my vest, and then I walk over to the bathroom and grabbed a towel and then placed it around my waist. “Ok, you can look now.” All four of them looked back towards me, and Blaze facehoofed himself. “Wow, you four turned around pretty quickly, even though I expect that from you Rarity.” Blaze grabs the towel I was wearing and throws it aside. “HEY! I’m exposed!” I yelled as I covered myself.

“You may get started with the procedure, Rarity.” Blaze said calmly.

“Umm… ok then.” Rarity said with an awkward smile. Rarity walks over to me, lays me down, and places braces on my arms and legs.

“Is this really necessary?” I asked.

“Quite.” Rarity said. “Nothing to worry about, dear. It’s a quick procedure and it won’t hurt a bit.”

“For Wizard of Hope’s sake, I hope you’re right.” I said.

“Now hold still, darling.” Rarity said as she pulls over a giant machine towards me with a lot of needles and sharp objects. “I never actually used this before.”

“Oh.” I said. A few minutes later, Rarity was finished with the disguise and it was a success. The four of us walked back over to Twilight’s house to check up on her. When we got there, Spike and Crystal were taking care of the sick Twilight, and Engie was installing the monitor on her wall.

“Oh good, you’re back!” Twilight said excitedly.

“Twilight Sparkle, we give you… the new temporary Twilight Sparkle!” Blaze introduced me to her in a new look. I look exactly like Twilight, coat, mane, everything, but my eyes were still the same.

“Wow! Rarity really outdid herself this time! You look just like me, Flare! Except for the eyes though.” Twilight observed me.

“Yeah, she couldn’t do anything to the eyes, and the procedure was much easier, counting I already have a mare’s face.” I said.

“But the eyes, what shall we do about them?” Psyche asked.

“Meh. Just say it was a magic spell accident. I doubt any pony would notice.” Crystal suggested.

“Ok, now that you’re going to be me, you’re going to have to take some time to get used to be my personality.” Twilight instructed.

“Oh that’ll be a snap! Spike and I have been doing it behind your back for weeks!” I said. Spike awkwardly backs away, and Twilight glares at us.

“Ok, Flare, let’s see what you got.” She asked.

“Look at me, I’m Twilight Sparkle! I love reading and magic because friendship is magic!” I said, impersonating her.

“Say, that’s not half bad!” Twilight said surprisingly.

“Oh gosh, I think I left the quill ink opened at home! If my home isn’t organized, I don’t know what to do!” I said.

“Yep! That’s me alright!” Twilight said.

“Spike, take a letter! Dear Princess Celestia, Today I learned that you shouldn’t judge your friends by the amount of hats they wear. They are what they are, and that’s the important thing! Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle.” I said.

“Nice work, Flare!” Twilight said impressively as Spike blew a scroll to the princess.

“Oh wait, that wasn’t supposed to be an actual letter?” Spike asked.

“It’s okay, Pinkie Pie. No need to be sad. So what if this rock won’t be your friend? You have so many good friends in your life! Like Flare Gun for example. He’s the best!” I said, still impersonating Twilight.

“Alright, Flare. You got it. I think that’s enough for now.” Twilight insisted.

”No, wait! I got one more!” I said. “Hi, I’m Twilight Sparkle! I say a lot of words that ponies just don’t understand! Just look at my CDO! It’s OCD but in alphabetical order! JUST HOW IT SHOULD BE!” Every pony except Twilight laughed at once.

“That’ll do, Flare.” Twilight said with an irritated tone. The next day came; Spike, Blaze, Crystal, Psyche, Engie, Aqua, and I all went to the trainstation, and the others were wishing Spike and I off.

“Well, looks like it’s time to do your part, Flare. Are you sure you got this under control?” Psyche asked.

“I’m surely sure sure, but who’s Shirley?” I asked.

“Here ya go, Flare. This headset will help you keep in communicate with us while you’re at the reunion.” Engie explained. “This microphone will allow you to speak with us, and on your headset here is a tiny build-in camera. It may be tiny but it comes in HD, so Twilight and us will be able to keep track of everythin’ you do.”

“Well I can’t steal anything it looks like.” I said.

“Oh, ah almost forgot… here.” Engie said as he gave me a little tablet.

“Oh no thinks, Engie. I don’t need pills.” I said.

“Ya look like Twilight, but ya don’t sound like her. This little pill is a voice changer. You’ll sound exactly like her for the whole day.” Engie said.

“Why would I need to sound exactly like her? If I just talk a lot about stuff other ponies don’t understand, they’ll know I’m Twilight.” I said.

“Yes, but we can’t be too sure.” Engie said.

“Alright, but can I have something to drink while I take this? I don’t swallow stuff well without something liquid to pour it down.” I said.

“Here, open wide and put the pill in your mouth.” Aqua instructed me.

“Alright then. Goodbye sweet voice; you may not be the best of all voices but you’re sure better than Justin Bieber.” I said as I placed the pill in my mouth. “Ok no’ ‘ut?” I asked with my mouth wide open.

“This may seem a little awkward.” Aqua said as he uses his water magic to squirt water in my mouth to help me swallow the pill.

“Meh, I’ve seen more awkward. It’s like drinking from a fountain in the park.” Crystal said. After I swallowed the pill, I felt a strange feeling from inside my throat.

“Go ahead, say somethin’.” Engie instructed me.

“Engie’s stupid…” I said as my voice changed a bit to sound like Twilight’s. “Engie’s stupid… Engie’s stupid… Engie’s…. stupid.” After that time I said that, my voice completely sounds like Twilight.

“How do you feel, Flare?” Psyche asked.

“Flare? I’m Twilight.” I teased.

“Right… how do you feel… Twilight?” Psyche asked again.

“With my hooves.” I said as I placed my hoof on Psyche’s face and he just glared at me.

“Flare, you’re Twilight now. Leave the jokes to a minimum.” Blaze instructed me.

“Alright. Well… this pill is kicking in… it’s gonna take some time to get used to.” I said.

“Wow. It’s like I’m seeing double.” Spike said as he looked at me and Twilight at the same time.

“Twilight? Shouldn’t you be at home resting?” Psyche asked.

“I know. I just wanted to wish Flare the best of luck.” Twilight said.

“Flare’s not here. I’m Twilight.” I corrected her.

“Don’t mess this up for me, Flare. I’ll be watching and listening to everything you do.” Twilight said.

“Not to worry about it, Twilight! This should be as easy as the time I talked back to a pony who wants to ban video games.” I said.

A cutaway shows a fat pony in front of me saying, “You know, they should ban video games. They make ponies violent.”

“Yeah… perhaps you’re right, brah.” I agreed. “Maybe they should ban Hungry, Hungry Hippos too because it looks like you play that a lot.” I teased the fat pony and he glared at me. I started to laugh. The cutaway ends.

“Good luck, Flare. Make me proud.” Twilight said.

“Don’t worry about it, me. I’ll have it all under control. You’ll see!” I said.

“Uh huh.” Spike nodded sarcastically. So Spike and I walked on the train and started our journey to Canterlot. When we got there, we walked over to Canterlot castle and walked onto the gardens.

“Ah, Canterlot! Isn’t this a great place? It’s so clean around here you can eat off the street!” I said.

“Wow, really?” Spike asked excitedly as he saw a scope off ice cream smashed onto the street with a bunch of ants on it, and Spike licks it up and swallows it. “Mmmm! Mint chocolate chip!”

“So which way to Canterlot School for Gifted Unicorns?” I asked.

“Over there, the building with the giant hole in the roof that nopony seemed to bother to fix after Twilight’s incident.” Spike pointed.

“Oh, I see it. That was the one when she turned you into a giant, right?” I asked.

“You know, how I grew up then and how I grew up with my greed makes me look different. I’m still wondering what I would look like if I grow up naturally.” Spike said.

“Excuse me?” a pony asked me. “Are you Twilight Sparkle?”

“Well that actually depends.” I said. "There is a slight possibility for my name being Twilight. But considering the fact you are a stranger to me, and do not exactly know what my name clearly is, but upon knowing about-“

"Yeah you're Twilight.” The pony interrupted. “I’m here to tell you that Princess Celestia is looking for you.”

“I expect her to be looking for me. I’m her faithful student!” I said.

“Excellent! The reunion is taking place in the castle ball room, right over there.” The pony pointed.

“Thanks! I really appreciate it! But then again, if I didn’t appreciate it, it wouldn’t be nice, right?” I asked.

“I… guess not. Anyways, you have a wonderful evening, and enjoy the reunion!” the pony said as he walked away.

"Don't mess this up, dude." Spike said to me.

"Don't worry about me, brah. I’m doing fine.” I said.

“Shhh!” Spike shushed me. “Remember: you’re not Flare anymore. You’re Twilight now. She’s relying on you.”

“Yeah, tell me something I don’t know.” I said as I walked over to the castle ballroom entrance and there was a unicorn guard standing in front of the entrance with a checklist.

“Ok, Flare, there’s a guard over there with a checklist. Act like Twilight, alright?” Spike instructed me.

“I read you loud and clear, Spike!” I said as I saluted him.

“No, you don’t salute. I do the saluting.” Spike instructed me.

“Got it!” I said as I walked over to the guard. “Hello, fellow guard! I’m Princess Celestia’s faithful student! She taught me everything I needed to know about magic, friendship, and most importantly: sneaking around the castle looking for a time travel spell and nopony was suspicious of me!” Spike facepalmed himself.

“Name please?” the guard asked.

“Twilight Sparkle, and I like to say a lot of words that other ponies don’t think they make sense. I’d say ‘bla bla bla’ and you wouldn’t even know the difference between that and my explanations.” I said.

Spike sighed and said, “Eeyup, Twilight is doomed.”

“Alright, Ms. Sparkle, you can come in. Enjoy the reunion.” The bouncer guard said as he let me through.

“Thanks! Have a great night!” I said as I walked in and Spike was about to follow me, but the bouncer stopped him.

“Hold on there, sir. Name?” the guard asked.

“I’m with her.” Spike said as he pointed to me.

“Name please?” the guard asked again.

Spike groaned and said, “Spike.”

“Spike… Spike… umm…” the guard checked his list. “Nope. Not on the list.”

“Twilight, help!” Spike yelled.

“Do you know this dragon, ma’am?” the bouncer asked me.

I looked over at the bouncer and then to Spike who had a worried look on his face. “Never seen him before in my life.” I said.

“TWILIGHT?!” Spike yelled.

“Move along, buddy.” The guard instructed Spike. He started to angrily walk away and mumble to himself, but as he was mumbling and walking passed a vent on the wall; I popped out of the vent, grabbed Spike, and used the air duck to get us both back into the ball room.

“What was that?!” Spike yelled at me.

“Shhh. Since I couldn’t have the bouncer let you in, I decided to smuggle you in without the guard knowing.” I whispered to Spike and let out a squee.

“You could’ve just told the bouncer I was with you!” Spike whispered back angrily.

“Hmm… I never really thought of that.” I admitted.

“Well if you need me, I’ll be at the all you can eat buffet.” Spike said with an attitude as he walked away.

“Hello, Flare? Do you read me, over?” Twilight asked from my ear piece.

“Twilight?! Where are you? I thought you were at home? What are you doing here?” I asked.

"I’m not. I'm on the ear piece I gave you, remember?" Twilight asked.

“How can you be ON the ear piece? Unless... did you shrink yourself, sista?” I asked.

"Yeah, that's another thing. Don't say ‘sista’, or any of that… leet-speak you use." Twilight instructed me.

"Sad face. Why?" I asked.

"Same thing goes to saying facial expressions." Twilight reminded me. "And because I don't say those things. If anypony finds out you're not me, they'll have you arrested."

"Well we don't want that now, do we?" I asked.

"Of course not." Twilight said.

"So, where are your friends?" I asked. "Maybe I can give them messages for you."

"Oh... Flare, actually.... I don't have any friends in that school." Twilight said.

"Oh that's nonsense! You represent an element of friendship. Of course you have friends! Silly little Pooh bear!" I said playfully.

"It was different for me back then." Twilight said. "Before I moved to Ponyville, I never knew what friendship was, nor was I interested. Spike, Shining Armor, Cadance, and Celestia were pretty much all I liked to socialize with. Everypony who tried to socialize with me, I turned down. Mainly because in my past, most of the unicorns in that school were-“

"BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA! WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS!" I interrupted. "You bore me, Twilight. Just skip to the point."

Twilight sighed. "My point is, I don't think anypony's going to want to socialize with you, and if they do, they'll probably make fun of you."

"You're the poet tonight, mare!" I teased. "Besides, I can redeem youself."

"Flare, listen to me. You can't act like yourself. You're me now, and you must act like me. Got it?" Twilight asked.

"Okie dokey smoky!" I said.

"Seriously, Flare." Twilight said.

"Yes, Twilight Sparkle, I hear you loud and clean." I said.

"And please talk right." Twilight instructed me.

"Loud and clear! Happy face now?" I asked as I started to get an attitude.

Twilight gave a loud sigh, and started to calm down. "Flare, if you mess this up, they might arrest you. You're not Crimson Flare Gun tonight, you're Twilight Sparkle."

"Then why are you still calling me Flare?" I teased.

"Oh, hello Twilight Sparkle." A white unicorn mare with a red mane and a crescent moon and stars for a cutie mark.

"Good evening... umm…." I started to get nervous because I don't know her.

"Her name is Moondancer." Twilight said.

"Moondancer! That's right! Your name is Moondancer!” I said excitedly.

“Umm… yeah it is.” Moondancer said awkwardly.

“How are you this find evening, Moondancer?” I asked.

"Fine. You seem to be socializing more than you used to." Moondancer said.

"Well, I do represent the Element of Magic." I said. "At first I didn't know what friendship was, but then it all changed when the fire nation attacked!"

"Flare!” Twilight yelled from my ear piece.

"Ooooookay." Moondancer said awkwardly. “Well… I hope to see you around, Twilight.” She walks away quickly.

"Bye, Moonie!" I yelled excitedly. I then said to Twilight in a moderate tone, "She's friendly."

"Yeah I know, but you're acting weird." Twilight said.

"You can't change who I am, Light.” I said.

"I know, but you wanted to do this favor for me. So please, act normal." Twilight instructed me.

"There is no such thing as acting normal." I said.

"Fine. Act mature. No jokes, no talking about food much.... actually, just repeat all I say." Twilight instructed me.

"All I say." I said.

"I didn't mean now." Twilight said.

"I didn't mean now." I repeated.

"Whatever. Let's just get this over with." Twilight said.

"Whatever. Let's just get this over with." I repeated. I then walked over to a group of unicorns named Comet Tail, Cipher Splash, and Diamond Mint.

“Oh hey, Twilight! Long time no see!” Diamond Mint said.

“Hello, Diamond Mint! How are you?” Twilight asked.

“Hello, Diamond Mint! How are you?” I repeated.

“Swell! How about you?” Diamond Mint asked.

“Fine.” Twilight said.

“Fine.” I repeated.

“Good! I didn’t expect you to be here, counting you were Princess Celestia’s personal student; not really a student to the other teachers around here.” Diamond Mint said.

“Well, it’s nice getting with my old peers; especially when- AHH CHOO!” Twilight sneezes. “Especially when we don’t meet with eachother often. I’d like to hear more about you.”

“Well, it’s nice getting with my old peers, especially when- ahh choo; especially when we don’t meet with eachother often. I’d like to hear more about you.” I repeated.

“Oh gosh, where do I begin?” Diamond Mint asked excitedly. “Well, it all started when I was a filly. I’ve always wanted to own a greenhouse. I just love planting! So when I asked my parents…” that’s pretty much all I heard because afterwards, Twilight started talking on my ear piece.

"Engie, I wanted two scoops of sugar, not one." Twilight said as Engie was giving her some hot tea.

"Engie, I wanted two scoops of sugar, not one." I repeated.

“I’m sorry?” Diamond Mint asked.

“Nothing. Please continue.” Twilight said to me. “No, not now, Aqua.” She said to Aqua as he was giving her some hot soup.

"Nothing. Please continue. No, not now, Aqua.” I repeated.

“Are you ok, Twilight?” Diamond Mint asked.

“I’m fine. We should totally chat another time, but Princess Celestia is looking for me.” Twilight said as she had a growling tone when she said ‘Princess Celestia is looking for me’.

“I’m fine. We should totally chat another time, but Princess Celestia is looking for me.” I repeated, using the same growl at the same part of the sentence.

“Oh… ok. See you around, Twilight!” Diamond Mint said as she walked off.

“Ok, Flare, from this point forward: no more repeating what I say.” Twilight said.

“Aww, but that was fuuuuuuun!” I whined.

“You starting to think this was a bad idea having Flare do this?” Psyche asked.

“I HEARD THAT, PSYCHE!” I yelled.

“I know Flare hasn’t been that cooperative, but I’m not giving up on him.” Twilight said.

“What am I doing wrong?” I asked. “When you asked me to repeat everything you said, I was listening to you! Every word, and you know how hard it was to say the word ‘fine’? I almost never use that word! I always use ‘great’, not FINE!”

“You’re doing… ok, Flare. Maybe it’s best you just don’t talk to anypony. What I normally do is sit around and read. How about finding a good book and try to stay out of the way?” Twilight suggested.

“Oh I can stay out of the way easily! My great uncle Luger Gun was real good at that!” I said.

A cutaway shows World Party II. A party tank rides by along with a bunch of Equestrian troops about to engage in battle. My great uncle Luger Gun (who looks exactly like me but with an old military outfit) was riding on the back of the tank, holding onto the engine. “The guys said I should stay outta the way because I’m terrible at throwing frosting grenades; for example…” Luger takes out a frosting grenades and throws it inside the tank, and the tank gets overflowed with frosting. “See how wrong they are? I’m an expert!”

“You idiot!” one of the soldiers yelled.

“No… you idiot! I just destroyed our tank with just a grenade. I told you I knew how to throw them.” Luger corrected them.

“Why must you use strawberry frosting?! That only works on griffons and we’re fighting the cockatrices!” the pony that was driving the tank popped out and yelled.

“I was drawing during the briefing.” Luger said sadly. The cutaway ends.

Just as I was about to walk away, Princess Celesita stopped me. “Twilight Sparkle! My faithful student! I am so glad you’re here!”

“Glad to be here, your highness! Where’s Luna?” I asked.

“Flare!” Twilight yelled from the ear piece.

“Luna’s at the Cloudsdale Banquet at this time, but I’ll let you know you said hello.” Celestia insisted.

“I didn’t actually say hello, but alright. She should really be here.” I said.

“Flare! Be more respectful to the princess! I never mention Luna when I talk with her. I only talk about her, and my studies if she asks.” Twilight said.

“You want to ask me about my studies?” I asked the princess.

“I can tell you are doing a wonderful job with your studies back in Ponyville, and I am very proud of you.” Celestia said.

“That’s not what I was saying.” I said.

“Ugh! I’m starting to have second thoughts of this.” Twilight facehoofed herself.

“It’s about time.” Psyche said.

“No, it’s not! C’mon, Twilight. Here, let me have a word with him.” Blaze begged.

“Be my guest. I have the feeling Flare’s going to blow it anyway.” Twilight said.

“Flare? Can you hear me? It’s Blaze.” Blaze said on the mic.

“Oh, hey Blaze!” I said excitedly.

“Blaze?” Celestia asked.

“No, shhh.” Blaze shushed me. “I need you to listen to me very carefully. Princess Celestia is Twilight’s teacher. Twilight always acts like a bootlicker to the princess.

“HEY!” Twilight yelled.

“Trust me on this.” Blaze said to Twilight.

“Princess Celestia, your highness! I am in your full service. I am proud to be your student and I would do anything in return. Anything you need me to do, your highness?” I bowed to her and asked.

“Hey, look, I can see a bit on the floor.” Crystal pointed to monitor where my necklace camera was pointing to the floor as I bowed. “Flare, pick up the bit!” she yelled.

“No wait, it’s on tails, Crystal.” Engie pointed out.

“Oh… nevermind, Flare! It’s on tails!” Crystal yelled.

“All I want is to you have to a wonderful time, Twilight. Please, go and socialize with the other ponies. Tell them about your time in Ponyville. I believe they’d really be interested.” Celestia said.

“Of course, mighty one! Of course!” I bowed as she walked passed me.

“I’ll leave you to it.” She said.

“I don’t call her mighty one.” Twilight said.

“Oh c’mon, Twilight! That was good!” I complained.

“Well… that’s better than what I’ve been seeing, that’s for sure.” Twilight said.

“Well… well… well… Twilight Sparkle. The dork that somehow became Celestia’s personal student.” A yellow unicorn that had a mane style similar to Lyra’s said to me. I ignored her though because I didn’t know she was talking to me. “Umm… hello? Twilight Sparkle? I’m talking to you!”

“That’s you, Flare.” Twilight said on my headphones.

“Oh, right! I’m Twilight!” I said as I turned around and saw the pony picking on me. “Hello… umm…”

“You don’t remember me, do you? Hmm, guess all that geeky studying is making you forget what it’s like to be in the real world.” The pony said.

“That or video games.” I mumbled to myself.

“What did you just say?!” the pony yelled at me.

“It’s not polite to yell, you know, and you still didn’t tell me your name.” I pointed out.

“It’s Lemony Gem. I can’t believe you’d forget all about me. I’m like… the richest most popular filly in the entire school.” Lemony said as she chuckled.

“Richest isn’t a word.” I corrected her.

“What? Yes it is.” Lemony corrected me.

“It is.” Twilight said.

“But you told me goodest wasn’t a word either.” I said to Twilight.

“I did not.” Lemony said.

“Stop talking to me, Flare. You’ll give us away.” Twilight instructed me.

“I always cost money. I don’t just GIVE myself away!” I said.

“What’s wrong with you, Sparkle?” Lemony asked.

“What’s wrong with you?” I asked Lemony.

“Hmm, you’re a strange one Sparkle, but then again, you always were. It’s no wonder you never had any friends.” Lemony teased.

I started to get angry with her. “Excuse me, but Twilight Sparkle is one of the most kindest ponies ever! She has the best of friends right in Ponyville!” I yelled at her.

“Oooo Ponyville. The redneck country of Equestria.” Lemony teased.

“Whatever you say. Just stay outta Twilight Sparkle’s way, bud!” I yelled at her.

“Oooo, attitude. I bet the rednecks taught you that.” Lemony teased. I started to get super angry with her.

I activated my hornsaber spell and said angrily, “Nopony likes a bully!”

“Are you threatening me, Sparkle?” Lemony asked.

“No, threatening would mean I’m giving you a warning or I’ll kick your flank. This time, I’m actually going to kick your flank right now! Don’t talk about my friends that way!” I yelled at her.

“Flare! Stand down!” Twilight yelled on my ear piece. I was about to whack Lemony with my hornsaber, but I eventually calmed down and deactivated the spell. “Get outta my sight!” I demanded.

“You’re going to pay for this, Sparkle! You’re going to pay for it BIG TIME!” Lemony threatened me.

“Oh I would LOVE to see you try. You know, I find you very insulting, just like when I found the movie The Naked Gun insulting.” I said.

A cutaway shows me with another pony. The other pony asked me, “Hey Flare Gun! Wanna watch The Naked Gun movie with me?”

“I WAS YOUNG AND I NEEDED THE MONEY!” I yelled. The cutaway ends.

“Flare you have to be careful. I never threaten ponies like that.” Twilight said on my ear piece.

“Then how do you threaten ponies?” I asked.

“I threaten them with pop quizzes.” Twilight said.

“Look, I’m sorry, Twilight, but that pony was insulting you and the Apple family!” I said angrily.

“And I appreciate that you care for us so much that you’d stand up for this, really I do, but you need to calm down. Look, it shouldn’t be too long until Princess Celestia shows off her secret spells. How about you head over to the buffet and get something to eat?” Twilight suggested.

“You know, out of all the time I was here, I didn’t get anything to eat or drink. I really am turning into you. I normally go to the buffet first during these parties.” I said.

“No, you’re not changing. I normally do that too.” Twilight admitted.

“Really?! You eat a lot?!” I laughed. “That’s so unlike you!”

“Shh! Calm down, Flare. Just head to the buffet and get something, but quietly. I don’t want to risk us being exposed.” Twilight said.

“I already feel exposed without my vest.” I said as I walked over to the buffet to get some food. “Oh cool a buffet! Oh… if only I had my wallet with me.”

“Uh, dude, it’s free.” Spike reminded me.

“All you can eat?” I asked.

“You got it!” Spike said.

“WOOO!” I cheered as I started eating up all the food and slobbery it all around like a pig. The other ponies at the buffet were looking at me funny.

“Relax, she does this all the time. The most smartest of ponies have the biggest appetites. That includes dragons too.” Spike said to the other ponies as he jumped onto the buffet and joined me into gobbling the buffet with nothing but our bare hooves / claws.

“Oh, by the way, Spike. I’m a dudet, not a dude.” I corrected him as I stuck my head out from the buffet and revealing all the leftover slobber on my face. The camera necklace was leaning on the counter so Twilight couldn’t see a thing from where she is, but she could hear what’s going on. Twilight just sat on her bed speechless and shocked.

“Come to think of it, I’m starting to agree with Psyche on Flare going to the reunion.” Blaze said.

“Yeah. Now Flare is ruining everything for you.” Psyche said.

“We shouldn’ve let him go.” Blaze said.

“No, this was my fault. I let him go. I should’ve known he wouldn't be capable of a task like this. I was just so desperate for SOMEPONY to go, I didn’t really think it over. Everypony’s going to see right through Flare, he’s going to jail, and it’s all my fault.” Twilight said sadly as she sneezed again.

“Gesundheit.” Blaze said.

“My, my, Twilight, you seem to have a big appetite this evening.” Celestia said to me.

“Oh no! Flare, get outta there!” Twilight instructed me.

“Ooo, you rhymed, Twilight!” Crystal pointed out.

“Do you always have to point that out, Crystal?” Blaze asked.

“Flare does it.” Crystal reminded him.

“I am rather impressed with your abilities; it reminds me myself when I was younger.” Celestia said.

“It does?” I asked with my mouth full.

“It does. Let out the inner beast, Twilight.” Celestia said as she walked away.

“Wow… she… likes it.” Twilight said shockingly.

“I’m not sure what the big deal is. It’s just eating.” I said.

“Wow, Twilight Sparkle. I could see how much you changed since you moved out of Canterlot. It is quite divine.” Lemon Hearts said.

“I’ll say. You even made the princess impressed.” Twinkleshine said.

“You have any spells to show us that the princess has taught you over the years?” Lyra asked.

“Lyra, what are you doing here? You don’t go to this school.” I asked.

“I do so! You know that!” Lyra corrected me.

“But don’t you live in Ponyville and work at my- errr… Flare’s Pizza Parlor?” I asked.

“Oh, that’s just my twin sister Lyra.” Lyra said.

“Aren’t you Lyra?” I asked.

“I am.” Lyra said.

“So… how is… I mean… since when did you have a twin sister?” I asked.

“Since always. I have 14 of them scattered all around Equestria! I even have an earth pony sister that lives in Applelossa.” Lyra said.

“Wow… so that’s why I saw Lyra wave at me before I moved to Ponyville, and then I saw Lyra in Ponyville at my welcoming party Pinkie gave me.” Twilight thought.

“I remember watching my twin sister, Amethyst Star, play at the Sisterhooves Social in Ponyville a few months back.” Amethyst Star said.

“Heya, sis!” another Amethyst Star said as she walked over to her duplicate.

“Oh hey! Good to see you! How’s your sister Dinky?” one of the Amethyst Stars asked.

“She’s good, she’s good.” The other Amethyst said.

“This is trippy.” I said.

“I agree with ya completely.” Aqua said from my earpiece.

“So Twilight, how about telling us a bit about your lessons with Princess Celestia?” Minuette asked.

“Of course, Minuette! Of course! I’d love to tell you all about my lessons with Princess Celestia!” I said.

“Are you sure, Flare? It’s a lot to talk about.” Twilight asked.

“I think I can handle it.” I said.

“Ok, repeat after me.” Twilight said.

“I don’t need any repeating, I could do this myself.” I offered.

“But… you don’t know anything about my lessons with Princess Celestia. How are you going to tell them?” Twilight asked and sniffed.

“Relax. I got this.” I said.

“Of course you got this, Twilight! You’re like a… super amazing unicorn. Only the best of the best can be a personal student of the princess. Her last student was really missing out after she left.” Minuette said.

“Ok so there I was… on the planet Pandora…” I started.

“Wait… what?” Spike asked.

“I was on the bus with three other ponies, and they had the same objective that I have: looking for the Pandora vault. It is contained with a bunch of extreme riches! So when Marcus dropped us off at Fyrestone, I met a robot named Claptrap, and-“ I continued.

“Flare, I think you should stop now.” Twilight instructed me.

“I met the Claptrap, and after he was shot by bandits-“

“Flare, that didn’t happen! Stop telling them lies about my life!” Twilight demanded.

“So afterwards, I met with Doctor Zed and-“ I continued.

“He’s not gonna stop is he?” Blaze asked.

“Nnnope. I’m telling you, Blaze, Flare’s going to be in bigger trouble right now than Pinkie did when she had Spiderman over.” Twilight said.

A cutaway shows Pinkie Pie in Sugarcube Corner’s kitchen along with Spiderman, about to cook something for him. “Hey, Spidey. I made you some rice!” Pinkie said excitedly.

“Oh goody! What flavor?” Spiderman asked.

“This!” Pinkie said as she shows Spiderman Uncle Ben’s Boil ‘n Bag rice.

“Why would you do that? That’s cruel.” Spiderman asked sadly. The cutaway ends.

“And that’s the story on how I found the vault!” I said a half-hour later.

“That’s a… pretty long story, Twilight. Interesting though.” Twinkleshine said.

“Wanna hear the sequel?” I asked.

“Nah, that’s fine.” Twinkleshine said.

“NO!” Twilight yelled from my ear piece.

“Ow! Did you have to yell in my ear?!” I yelled to Twilight.

“Sorry. Was that too loud?” Twinkleshine asked.

“No, not you, Twinkleshine.” I said.

“Fillies and gentlecolts, observe the secrets of fine magic by our school’s director, principle, and one of the teachers: Princess Celestia.” The pony up on stage announced.

“Flare! That’s us!” Twilight said.

“No, that’s you. Unless that magic has anything computer or video game related, I’m not going to be able to use them.” I said.

“I know, but this what we’re here for. I have to see this! After that, you can come home and go back to being Flare.” Twilight explained.

“Well, it would be nice becoming Flare again, Twilight, but I kinda like being you.” I said.

“Oh… well, thank you.” Twilight said.

“I think I’d like to stay here a little longer after the observation.” I said.

“Wait, what?” Twilight asked.

“It’s true. Twilight became a big shot here. The other unicorns love me, and by me, I mean you.” I said.

“But that’s just it. Aren’t you feeling a little disappointed because the other ponies are praising me and not you? I thought you liked the attention?” I asked.

“I do, but they don’t need to know it’s me. Plus, if I give them promises, only you have to fulfill them.” I added.

“You didn’t give anypony promises, did you?” Twilight asked.

“Unless you were away from your TV and the microphone and all that stuff Engie installed, you should know already.” I said.

“Well… I was only away for a minute to use the restroom when you were telling that… vault story.” Twilight said.

“Ooooooh, so I guess you didn’t hear me saying yes out of all the invitations I got.” I said.

“Wait… what?” Twilight asked.

“Well, Moondancer was upset because you didn’t come to her party before you left for Ponyville so she made another one just for you, and I scheduled you an appointment for Minuette’s dentist office, oh, and Lemony Gem was so angry that you badmouthed her, and by you, I mean me…” I explained. Twilight started to get nervous of all the promises I kept. “… So she wants me to meet her on stage later for a magical duel.”

“FLARE?! You were only supposed to go into the reunion, hang out for a bit, watch the princess’s magic performance, and leave. I didn’t ask you to say yes to invitations!” Twilight yelled.

“Twilight, I did it for you! I wanted to help you become more popular around here. You didn’t socialize much when you were a filly, and I don’t want you ending up like me!” I explained.

“I appreciate it, Flare, but… just…” Twilight didn’t know what to say without hurting my feelings, so she just went with, “Just go watch the performance. We’ll talk about this later.”

“Roger that.” I said as I walked over to the crowd so Twilight and I can see Princess Celestia’s secret magic spells that she is revealing to all her former students at the school.

“My faithful students. It is so wonderful to see you all again. You all are now studying your magic degrees throughout all of Equestria, and I have to say, I miss all of you so much seeing you all face to face.” Celestia said. “I hope all of you are enjoying the reunion because I have a real good treat for you tonight, something you cannot get anywhere else… unless somepony is recording all this and putting it on YouTube.” Celestia looks at one of the students in the crowd, pointing her cell phone at the princess, recording what she’s saying. The pony chuckles embarrassingly and puts her phone away. “It’s no joke, my students. All that you are about to witness is top secret. Nopony must know.” The guards in the ball room shut all the doors and cover all the windows for the princess’s presentation.

“This is it!” Twilight said excitedly as she sniffled.

“Ooo lookie there!” I said as I turned away from Celestia and looked over at a statue at the other end of the room. “That statue over there looks a lot like the princess in storybook format.”

“Flare! Look back at Celestia! I’m missing out.” Twilight yelled.

“Right, sorry.” I said as I looked back at her.

“Now, without further ado, I’d like to present one of my secret spells. Watch closely because I’m only going to do this once.” Celestia said as her horn started glowing.

“Oh hold on.” I said as I took out my phone because I felt it vibrating. I looked down at my phone and saw my friend Keith poke me on Facebook. “Keith Pwni poked you.” I said as I tapped on my phone, poking him back. “You poked Keith!”

“Flare! Focus!” Twilight yelled.

“Oh right, right! Sorry!” I said as I looked back at Celestia and saw the crowd cheering.

“That was a fantastic spell! Wouldn’t you agree, Twilight?” Minuette asked.

“A what now?” I asked.

“Now you’re all going to adore this next spell I have. Watch and learn!” Celestia said as her horn started glowing again.

“Oh wait… shoes might be untied.” I said as I looked town at my hooves. “Oh right… no shoes.”

“FLARE!” Twilight yelled.

“Right, focusing!” I said as I looked back at Celestia, but noticed she did her spell already. Everypony was cheering.

“Flare, keep looking at Celestia. I’m missing her presentation!” Twilight complained.

“Sorry! I get distracted easily.” I said.

“How can you be distracted with something as amazing as this?” Twilight asked.

“How do you know if it’s all amazing? You didn’t see it. As far as we’re all concerned, they could’ve stunk.” I reminded her.

“These spells are amazing!” Moondancer said excitedly.

“And for my final spell. I must say, this one is going to be my best one yet. Watch carefully!” Celestia said as her horn began to glow yet again.

“Don’t look away, Flare.” Twilight demanded.

“Don’t worry, I promise I won’t this time.” I promised. I kept my eyes firmly aimed at the princess as she was about to preform her spell.

“Wait for it… she’s about to do it.” Twilight said.

“You’re pretty psyched about this, aren’t ya, Twilight?” Engie asked.

“Did somepony say my name?” Psyche asked. So Princess Celestia was just moments away from preforming that spell, but unfortunately, my necklace camera falls off.

“NO!” Twilight yelled.

“Woops. The string broke. You needed to give a firmer string, Engie.” I said as I looked down and picked up the camera and aimed it back at Celestia again, but to our luck, Celestia was already done, and everypony cheered.

“WHAT?! NO!” Twilight yelled.

“AH KNOW, RIGHT?! Ah should’ve used a rubber band instead of dental floss for the necklace.” Engie said.

“Now I’ll never know Celestia’s secret spells!” Twilight whined and sneezed.

“Oh lookie! Keith poked me again!” I said as I took out my phone to check my Facebook. Twilight slammed her head on her side table and groaned.

“It’s alright, Twilight. Maybe its best ya don’t know. Some things are secret for a reason.” Aqua said.

“Aqua’s right, Twilight. Maybe you not knowing is for the best. I mean you are Celestia’s personal student, and maybe she’d give them to you in person if you’re lucky.” Blaze said.

“If you’re lucky? IF YOU’RE LUCKY?! Is that the best you can come up with, Blaze?!” Crystal yelled as she shook him.

“You know, that’s not really helping her, Crystal.” Blaze said.

“Flare, abort mission. Please come home now.” Twilight instructed me.

“What?” I asked.

“I missed what I needed to see… but… its ok, Flare. You don’t have to be me anymore. Come on home and go back to being, Flare.” Twilight instructed. I started to feel really bad. I messed up Twilight’s chance for witnessing Celestia’s secret spells.

“UGH!” I groaned. “Why does it always have to be me that screws everything up? It can’t be somepony else?! As if I had enough screwing up back in Mareami!”

“Flare, it’s alright, just come home.” Twilight said.

“No! I’m not yet finished here!” I said.

“Flare, what are you doing?” Twilight asked. I didn’t say anything, I just kept walking and started walking over to Princess Celestia. “Flare, stop! Everypony makes mistakes! Don’t make it worse!” I still did not stop.

“Blaze, Psyche, Engie, one of you… do something!” Twilight yelled.

“Flare, stop! You did all you could! Return home right now!” Blaze yelled in the microphone. “Flare, do you hear me!? I said, return home now!” I just ignored him and shut off my headphones so I couldn’t hear them.

“No! He shut off his headphones!” Engie said as he observed the equipment and saw a message say that the headphones shut off.

“Flare’s making a big mistake right now!” Psyche said.

“No… I think he’s trying to make things right. This is probably for the best.” Aqua said.

“For the wha- for the best!? Aqua have you lost your mind?!” Blaze yelled.

“Trust me, Blaze. I think he knows what he’s doin’.” Aqua said.

“For all of ours sake, Aqua, I hope you’re right.” Twilight said as they all watched the screen, hoping for the best. I walked over towards the stage about to have a chat with the princess, but I was stopped by Lemony Gem.

“Where do you think you’re going, Sparkle?” Lemony asked.

“To talk to the princess. If you wanna chat, just give me a few minutes or so.” I said.

“Oh no, you’re not going anywhere.” Lemony said as she used a magical force field to block my path.

“What in Equestria is Lemony Gem doing?” Twilight asked.

“Who me?” I asked.

“Yes, you!” Lemony said.

“Couldn’t be.” I said.

“Then who- wait… UGH! You… me… stage… now.” Lemony demanded.

“Why?” I asked.

“We’re going to have a magical duel.” She said.

“Oh that’s right, you said that.” I nodded.

“Everypony make way! I have challenged Twilight Sparkle to a magic duel!” Lemony Gem yelled out, and everypony cheered.

“A magic duel, huh? Good idea. Let’s see what my teachings have brought to you.” Celestia said. “Nothing lethal though.”

“None of my magics are lethal, your highness. You know that.” Lemony Gem said to her in an innocent tone. Lemony looked down at me and said, “C’mon, Sparkle! Come up and duel me… or are you too chicken?” Lemony teased.

“You see what’s wrong with what you said? You called me a chicken, which is a figure of speech of calling me scared. If you actually think about it for a second, chickens aren’t really scared. They’re actually quite brave.” I explained.

“A chicken attacked me once after I tried getting its feather.” Spike said.

“Exactly! See what’s wrong with your insult, Lemon?” I asked.

“Fine. Are you too scared to face me?” Lemony teased.

“I am never scared of anything!” I said.

“You’re afraid of AppleJack’s dog!” Spike reminded me.

“You’re not helping.” I mumbled to him.

“What’s wrong, Twilight? Can’t handle the best unicorn in all of Equestria, hmm?” Lemony asked.

"Okay now you sound like Trixie." Spike said.

“Lemony, please move aside. I have to speak with the princess.” I said.

“You want to speak with the princess? You’ll have to go through me first!” Lemony said.

“You’re not a ghost, I can’t go through you.” I said.

“C’mon, Twilight. Don’t let her push you around like this! You can do it!” Spike said.

“Alright… fine. Let’s duel. Where’s my Yu-Gi-Oh cards?” I asked.

“Oh you won’t be needing them.” Lemony said.

“I can’t dual without my Yu-Gi-Oh cards.” I said.

“You don’t need them because we’re doing a magic duel!” Lemony said.

“I don’t feel like it.” I said. “How about an eating contest?”

“Nah, I’m no pig.” Lemony said.

“Pigs.” I mumbled to myself. "A pig ruined my life."

“How about a game of chess?” Lemony asked.

“Chess is for nerds…” I said, but I immediately corrected myself as soon as I remembered who I was. “Oh… right. Nevermind.”

“How about a rap battle?” Lemony suggested.

“I strongly dislike rap.” I said.

“Oh c’mon! Make up your mind!” Lemony complained.

“Since I’m Twilight, I say we have a study contest to see who knows better and such.” I suggested.

"That's right. All you ever do is study, study, study." Lemony complained. "You never have time for friends, because you don't have any."

"Yo, that is not true!" I yelled.

"Oh look at Twilight with her 'yo yo yo' business now! Yeah, you're really cool now aren't you?" Lemony asked sarcastically.

"Well I don't mean to brag but...." I bragged.

"You're not cool. You're far from cool. You'll never be cool." Lemony said.

“I’m not cool because I’m already hot.” I said with a wink.

“Ooooooo.” The other unicorns said shockingly.

“You’re trying my patience, aren’t you Twilight?” Lemony asked.

“Ok fine, I’ll do a rap battle with you if it gets you to stop complaining because I really need to talk to the princess.” I said.

“Fine. DJ, give us a beat.” Lemony said to Vinyl Scratch who was on the DJ stand.

“What’s Vinyl doing here? Is she a gifted unicorn too?” I asked.

Just then the DJ turned on an upbeat instrumental rap song. I just leaned on a speaker and watched Lemony start rapping. "Flare, do you even know how to rap?” Spike whispered.

"I'm from Mareami, brah. Of course I do.” I whispered.

"Good luck." Spike said in a nervous tone.

Lemony starts rapping. "To be completely honest, I just do not understand, all those beats and rhymes and rythms, but if you lend me a hand. Then I guess we could be rapping, 'cause that is what rap friends are for! But if you'd rather be rap rivals, then I'll show you to the door. Though competition's beneficial, and we'd set some wicked trends, in the sense of making progress, I would rather make some friends." Everypony started cheering for Lemony after she was done.

"Oh! A rap about friendship! That could be a winner!" Celestia said.

"Yeah you probably ripped that off from somewhere. Lemme show you how it’s done

"Go ahead. Like you know how to rap." Lemony teased.

I started to rap. "Friendship is awesome as a awesome possum and if you think it's a game you're pretty lame! Don't let me catch you or I'll throw a fit and hit your lip with your Wii Fit board till you rage quit! Don't spend a penny or any of your zenny but your friends or the Grand Slam at Denny's! This is Equestria fool! Friendship is Magic, and sometimes tragic, and look you, you're an all talk fanatic!" Everypony started cheering for me. Lemony was in shock by my wicket rhyming skills which by the way I too ripped off from somewhere, but they don’t know that. Wink, wink.

"I don't believe you Twilight! When you went to this school you were a boring, no-friend, Miss study-alot." Lemony said.

"And now I'm a fun, lotsa friend, Miss big-shot!" I said.

Lemony started to smile a bit and said, “You’re alright, Sparkle.” She then nodded at me and walked away.

“Wow, Twilight. That was amazing!” Twinkleshine said as I walked off stage.

"You really changed since you moved to Ponyville have you?" Moondancer asked.

"You can say that." I said. “Now if you excuse me. I have to talk to the princess.” Spike and I walked through the crowd and to the corridors where I last saw the princess.

“In here, my faithful student.” Celestia said from one of the double doors in the hallway.

“I don’t think we should trust her.” I whispered to Spike.

“C’mon.” Spike said as we both went inside the room the princess wanted us to go in. After we went inside, the princess used her magic to close the door.

“AAAH!” I yelled.

“Calm down, Twilight! It’s only the door.” Spike said.

“No need for that anymore, Spike. Enjoy the reunion Flare Gun?” Celestia asked with a smile.

“Well… at least I don’t have to use big words anymore.” I said.

“You haven’t used big words all night.” Spike corrected me.

“Allow me to fix that voice for you.” Celestia offered as she used her magic to disable the voice-changing pill from my body.

“Shtairs... shtairs.... shtairs.... lawl remember, shtairs.” I said as I was fixing up my voice to make me sound like my original self again, even though I still look like Twilight.

“Flare, I must say… I am quite impressed. Even though you barely acted like Twilight, at least the other ponies didn’t see the difference. You probably made Twilight the most popular unicorn in the reunion.” Celestia said.

“All according to plan, your highness! Where’s Luna?” I asked.

“Still away.” Celestia said.

“Oh.” I said. “So wait, you’re not gonna arrest me for impersonating Twilight?”

“No, of course not, but I must say that the secret magics I showed you were my most secret spells. I’m sure you understand that I can’t just show that particular magic to just anypony.” Celestia said.

“Relax, princess. I didn’t see a thing, but unfortunately, neither did Twilight.” I said.

“May I speak with her?” Celestia asked.

“I’ll put you on speaker.” I said as I pressed a button on the necklace camera which made Twilight’s voice come through. “Go ahead, Light. You’re on speaker.”

“HI PRINCESS!” Crystal yelled.

"Hello, Crystal Iceblast!" Celestia said.

“No, Twilight, not Crystal.” I corrected Crystal.

“Princess Celestia, I am so sorry for not coming to the reunion. I was feeling REALLY under the weather and was in no shape to go, but I really wanted to see your secret spells so… I sent Flare instead.” Twilight said upsettingly.

“That’s me.” I said.

“I mean, Flare was the only one who volunteered to go. I knew he wouldn’t act exactly like me, but…” Twilight paused for a moment and thought. “I guess I can’t force ponies to act like something they’re not. I can’t change Flare, no matter how hard I try, and I shouldn’t. Only he can change himself.”

“Why would I change me though? I have an awesome personality and the ladies love it!” I said.

“So explain why you don’t have a marefriend yet.” Spike teased.

“A very important lesson, Twilight. I am once again proud of you, as always.” Celestia said.

“Thank you, Princess Celestia.” Twilight said and sneezed.

“Bless you.” Celestia said.

“You know, princess. Every time to talk to ponies, no matter who they are or what they do, you never seem to be annoyed by them.” I said.

“Oh trust me, Flare, I do get annoyed sometimes. You wouldn’t really like me in the mornings.” Celestia said.

A cutaway shows Princess Celestia with a messy mane. She climbed out of bed and walked out of her room as she was wearing a pink robe, and she was levitating a cup of coffee, and she looked outside and saw it was still night time. “Luna… it’s still night.” She said.

“Hear me my subjects! Starting tonight, the night… will last…” Luna started with her Royal Canterlot Voice.

“Luna, please.” Celestia said with an annoyed tone.

“Slightly longer than usual!” Luna said.

“Luna, it’s 8 AM, please just lower the moon.” Celestia instructed her.

“Have thou never heard of Daylight Savings Time, sister?” Luna asked. The cutaway ends.

"Twilight, just to be honest. Those magic spells you didn't see on stage, well.... they weren't really my MOST secret spells." Celestia said.

"They weren't?" Twilight asked.

"Nope. But if you want. I'll come by your house tomorrow and show you my true secret spells." Celestia offered.

"I don't trust that tone." I said suspiciously.

“Anyways, I believe you all had a long day. How about I ask my guards to take you back home?” Celestia offered.

“Sure, if you want.” I shrugged. So the three of us walked out of the room, into the corridors and we went outside. When we got outside, some of the unicorns from the reunion saw us coming out and they excitedly came to us.

“Twilight! The rap battle was amazing! The way you took out Lemony Gem like that. You really changed since you moved out of Ponyville.” Twinkleshine said.

“Your twin sister(s) in Ponyville doesn’t seem to think so.” I said.

“Twilight, what’s wrong with your voice?” Minuette asked. I forgot that my voice turned back to normal, so I surprisingly covered my mouth.

“Twilight seemed to have a pretty rough day, she kind of lost her voice.” Celestia said as she winked at me. “We’re going to take her home.”

“Oh, ok. See you around, Twilight. Hope we see you again very soon.” Moondancer said. I nodded. “Also, Spike, I got the gift you gave me before you moved to Ponyville.” Moondancer took a teddy bear out of her satchel and the bear had a giant hole on its stomach.

“Sorry, Moondancer. I got hit by a door and my tail went through the present.” Moondancer said.

“Why are you sorry? I love it! It goes great with my ripped stuffed animal collection!” Moondancer said as she levitated a cart towards her with a bunch of torn stuffed animals on it. Spike, the princess and I all just looked at eachother awkwardly before Celestia sent us back to Ponyville.

When we got back to Ponyville, everypony was outside waiting for Spike and I to return. Once the royal Pegasus guards dropped us off, Twilight and the Noble Five were out to greet us. “Flare! You’re back, finally!” Engie said excitedly.

“And Spike.” Spike added.

“Flare, I don’t know how you did it. You risked the mission multiple times, and you barely acted like me, and yet you were able to pull it off. How?” Twilight asked.

“Can’t mess with the Flare Gun, Twilight. He works in mysterious ways, like the Pink Panther. The actual Pink Panther, not the dim-witted British guy.” I said.

“You did alright, man.” Blaze said. “Also while you were on your way back, Twilight’s all better!”

“Yeah I got a medication from Zecora that helped me get better instantly!” Twilight said.

“That’s good! Now that you’re able to go about being you, I could go back to being Flare! I feel like half a Flare without my vest.” I said.

“Of course, Flare! Thank you! Also… here’s your cushion, clean as a whistle!” Twilight said as she levitated my spot over to me.

“I said it once and I’ll say it again: whistles aren’t that clean, not if somepony’s mouth was on it.” I said.

Twilight chuckled and said, “Oh Flare!”

The next day came, and my friends and I all went to play another round of Paintball, but this time, Crystal joined us. The six of us were inside our safehouse, planning our strategies. “Ok, first of all, Crystal, thank you for coming.” Blaze started.

“Thanks for letting me join!” Crystal said.

“Crystal is an amazing shot. I think we have a real chance to win this week!” Blaze said.

“So what’s the plan?” Aqua asked.

“Ok. Now, we all run out. Flare and I will cut to the left behind these trees. Psyche, Aqua, and Engie will flank to the right behind the rocks. Then we’ll have a great view as Crystal runs out and kills everypony else on sight!” Blaze explained.

“Oh sure, make the girl do all the work.” Crystal complained.

“Alright, but just one thing before we start.” I said.

“What’s that?” Blaze asked. I took out my paintball gun and shot Crystal many times on her chest plate armor.

“WHAT THE HAY?!” Crystal yelled.

“That was for my cushion.” I said angrily.

“Flare, Crystal was our only hope!” Blaze complained.

“I’m sorry, Blaze, but revenge is a dish best served with lulz!” I said mischievously. “It’s so good to be me again!”

“Forget that.” Crystal said as she shot me back multiple times.

“Hey! She can’t shoot me, she’s dead!” I complained.

“He’s right, you can’t.” Blaze said as she shoots me.

“Well, if we’re going to descent into anarchy…” I said as I shoot Blaze.

“Alright, well, see y’all later.” Engie said as him, Psyche, and Aqua walk towards the door.

“Where are you going?” Blaze asked.

“Surrender then Denny’s.” Psyche said as they all went outside with their hooves up.

Author's Note

The remake of In Twilight's Hooves. I added a little more in here, like the Noble Six's part of the story, a little secondary story with Flare's couch (which is obviously a rip-off :) ), and Spike goes with Flare. Also, it was originally Diamond Mint that was the antagonist in here, but she looked too sweet of a pony, so I did Lemony Gem instead.

Yeah, this chapter was made before Amending Fences, so having Moondancer in here seems kinda weird. I'll plan something in Book 4 to explain that.