Obama's Favorite Birthday Party

by ThePoopBandit

Rating: mature
Tags: Princess Celestia, DJ P0N-3, Human, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Mayor Mare, Other, Sex, Random
Length: 1120

Obama and friends discover Equestia.

Obama attends a birthday party and accidentally winds up in Equestria where he uses politics to become even more of a success.
"I found this garbage on our computer last night. What the hell is wrong with you?" - My wife

Published 2015-10-10 03:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-10-10 03:30:02 UTC

CHAPTER 1

Obama’s Favorite Birthday Party

Donald Trump, Sara Palin, and Obama were always the best of friends. There was usually excitement that formed around the weekend for their parties. One Weekend however was quite unforgettable. It all started with one of the frequent calls from Palin that often talked about the moose or group of minorities that she killed while hunting. This time it was an invitation to her birthday party.

The threesome grouped at the white house for chatting, cake, Jack Daniels, and LARPing to pass the time. The party had been going strong for a few hours and the idea was hatched to get something to eat from a local restaurant. Just across the street their favorite waffle house awaited. They engorged themselves on breakfast with waffles and whiskey, but after an hour the trio found themselves getting very full. Obama had rumbling in his stomach and excused himself politely.

He walked unsteadily into the waffle house bathroom from the whiskey’s intoxicating effect. Mismatched tiles littered the floor, and doing a shoot in one of the main stalls was Obama’s old high school buddy, Ron Jeremy. Obama gave salutations, found himself an empty stall, and was shocked at what he saw when he was about to sit down. The toilet seemed to be an open portal of some sort that showed an ornate, white and architecturally unique city.

Obama was about to pass out from being so intoxicated so he decided to sit on it anyway. This was quite the mistake as he suddenly passed out and fell into the bowl. He awoke a few minutes later but not inside the bathroom. The president found himself in the gutter of a grey brick street. There was filth all over the orange jumpsuit that he had gone out in for the night from the dirty stone bricks, and he was lying on his side woozy from the alcohol. Groggily, he sat up and looked at the world around him. It was much different than his homeland of Kenya.

In front of him was a large night club with the absence of a bouncer at the front. A percussive bass was coming from inside, and a multicolored neon sign that read “GAY EQUESTRIA” had a few letters that almost flickered to the beat. Drunk, Obama unknowingly walked through the front door to see several horse-like creatures gasp or go wide eyed at him. He looked around and tried to make sense of everything.

In the right a trendy looking ,black colored bar with various glasses and drinks was serving the creatures, and three quarters of the room was a dance floor with a DJ in the center back. Most shocking to him was the fifty vibrantly shaded ponies? These creatures that were doing their weird alien dance moves of flailing their hooves all stopped when they noticed the human standing in front of them.

Obama felt his stomach give from the shock, and the bowl movement he tried to squeeze out earlier found its way through him. Excrement went all over the floor and piled up behind him. Suddenly, from what Obama guessed to be, a noble figure moved closer to him and appeared to be enjoying the smell. She had long flowing hair that matched her dusk blue coat. The irregularly tall pony had a medieval sounding vernacular that reminded Obama of how it would be to talk to a queen in the middle ages.

“Is this a form of entertainment for my subjects?” she quizzically stated while unenthusiastically correcting herself to sound normal. “Aren’t thou supposed to be enthused over my reaction of this ape creature wandering into thy location of recreation only to defecate on the precious lesbian dance floor,” the regal pony said to everyone, “A type of practical joke I presume.” The ponies in the room confusingly shook their heads no. “In that case let the feast begin!” shouted the royal nightly pony.

All of the ponies including the DJ charged to the banquet of scat. The commander in chief was knocked down by the stampede of lesbians going after the poop as if they were a horde of zombies that were about to feed on the last survivor . Fortunately he was helped up from the ground by the white and blue DJ pony he saw in the room earlier. They locked eyes for the first time and deeply kissed each other.
“I want to go all the way tonight!” she said lovingly. For the next hour the two made angry love while the princess of the night watched as the lesbian horde continued to ravish the mosh pit of shit. The rest of the night was a poop covered orgy of every sexual position imagined. They did scissors, doggie, and even cheese grater style. Obama finally passed out from exhaustion, and woke up to find himself back in the bathroom with Ron.

After finding himself back on Earth Obama’s immediate thought was to take every chance he could get to go back to that waffle house. It always made his weekend to revisit the toilet portal and see his favorite princess and DJ, but as time went on their relations grew stronger. This allowed for Trump and Palin to be invited. Their politics and leader roles made them famous in a short amount of time.
After the trio showed how Human involvement in Equestria was very important Luna and Celestia allowed an Earth embassy to be built in Canterlot.

More embassies were built including one in Ponyville. This particular embassy was overseen by Mayor Mare, and she became an even more notable leader for doing so. A new potential candidate for higher office threatened many pony officials in the government though. Unfortunately, the higher officials of Mayor Mare’s opposing party ordered an attack during the night by a group of secret Muslims led by the greatest secret Muslim of all, Obama.

Equestrian and Earth ambassadors were killed in the attack by the Muslims, but this was all according to plan for the opposing party as propaganda, hearings, and wastes of tax payer money were used on ways to make Mayor Mare into a nefarious mare who carelessly let the attack happen. Needless to say, she was not elected again, but being that this was a victory for the Equestrian party that orchestrated the attack with Obama’s help, Obama was able to rejoice with the success as well. The crooked party gave him a substantial amount of bits which he shared with his old birthday party group. All the Bits left Obama, Palin, and Trump to live on in Equestria as ballers with Dre Beats, Air Jordans, and obscene swag.

The End