Only fools run in unprepared
It was the night before Halloween, and all through the house, many creatures were stirring. None of them was a mouse. The Jack-e-Chanterns were displayed on the porch with great pride; each made by the two creatures who lived just inside. Twilight Sparkle and Spike, lay content and asleep, worrying not about bed bugs or if they might creep. As both little live-ins lay, they were safe to just dream. Not a thing could go wrong, or so it would seem. Xylophones lay on cushions, for the monsters to play, various treats were left arranged in a particular way. But there was one thing the foolish Dragon had forgotten about: the calcium tablets for when the skellingtons come out. And if there's one thing they learned from "Convenient Name" Luke, it's that there's nothing as scary as a skellington spook.
Spike awoke from his most recent horrifying nightmare, leaping out of his bed with the poise of a glorious bald eagle, unfortunately the eagle was dreadfully frightened and inside a church, so he just crashed headfirst into a window and collapsed on the floor in a depressing purple and green heap of twisted limbs.
Good thing Spike has thick scales, amirite? That little bastard just hopped right back up and gathered in his surroundings like the trooper he is. He's so handsome and muscular, not to mention well-endowed. On top of that he's got perfectly kissable lips and a cool, fast car.
Spike noted that it was dark outside, which meant that he didn't have much time, if he had any at all. He rushed to Twilight's bathroom and scoured through the medicine cabinets that lined the wall adjacent to the mirror. At last he'd found what he was looking for: Skel-a-way Brand Calcium Tablets. He pulled out two tablets and rushed down the stairs, immediately stopping at the xylophone in the living room. The mallets were out of place, which meant that they had been played, but with any luck the skellingtons weren't hungry yet.
Spike decided to venture into the kitchen and grab some warm milk to help him sleep, but as he was grabbing the carton he saw something in his peripheral vision that spooked him to his very core.
The digital oven clock read 3:00am. Spike's heart literally jumped out of his chest, did backflips, and jumped back in before he bolted out of the kitchen, in through the living room, up the stairs and back to his shared bedroom. In a panic, he slammed the door and locked it behind him before moving over to the still sleeping Twilight.
"Twilight, I made a huge mistake," he cried as he shook her, "I need you to fix it in approximately twenty-to-fourty minutes." But as Spike frantically shook the closest thing this unloved orphan would ever have to a mom, he noticed something that spooked him yet again. Twilight's skin was much more nonexistent than it had been the night prior, now she felt like nothing...but...bones!
Spike lurched backwards as the shimmering mass of skeletal parts that was in Twilight's bed writhed its way to a standing position. The pony-shaped skellington turned its head to Spike, focusing its eye sockets on his own, except that Spike still has eyes cuz he's not a skellington.
"Spiiiike," came Twilight's voice from the skellington, "you've killed me Spike." Needless to say, Spike was super spooked.
"No, it wasn't me Twilight," cried Spike with tears in his eyes, "it was the skellingtons!"
"The skellingtons would've happily devoured those calcium tablets if you had been a good assistant and remembered to leave them out.," hissed Twilight Skellington as she crawled closer to Spike, "you murder me, and then lie to my face. My heart is breaking...well it would except that I don't have one YOHOHOHOHOHO!"
Spike groaned and rolled his eyes, he hated skellingtons with every fiber of his being, but he believed there was a special place in hell for the ones that acted like Brooke from One Piece at random intervals. Still, he knew that Twilight would soon be upon him, and he had to escape. So, even though the bedroom door was much closer, he sprinted to the window he'd previously cracked with his stupid face, and dove through, falling two stories amidst several shards of broken glass.
When he landed, Spike noted that his two legs were much more broken than they had been yesterday, and there were quite a few more shards of glass jutting out from his chest than he was used to.
He shrugged off this mild inconvenience and decided to find help, being careful to avoid the skellingtons that littered the street. He decided that Pinkie would probably have the largest amount of ~~lazy exposition~~ knowledge on the subject, because she was Pinkie Pie, and if that's a good enough explanation for the actual show then it's good enough for you scumbags.
Unfortunately for Spike and his broken legs, just as he was about to climb through the window of Sugarcube Corner to avoid a door skellington, he stepped on a Lego, and cried out in agony. Immediately he was surrounded by skellingtons, with Twilight at the head of the pack.
"Please, please don't turn me into a skellington," pleaded the baby dragon.
The skellingtons looked at each other and laughed maniacally.
"Oh Spike," said Twilight maliciously, "it's too late for that, you've been spooked three times. There's already a skellington inside of you."
Spike wanted to deny it, but just as he was about to do exactly that, he noticed that his skin was peeling away, no, it was being clawed away, by a skellington that was trying it's best the rip its way out. Spike screamed as his scales were torn away to reveal stark white bones, in the shape of a mighty marrow-filled pair of hands. Then a head burst out of his chest and Spike realized in horror that this was no ordinary skellington; it was a Jack Skellington!
"What's this? What's this? There's horses everywhere, what's this, I just rhymed where with where. What's this?" It sang as it sprung forth from Spike's body, showering everything in dragon guts, he then traversed the town singing like an idiot. "I can't believe my eyes it's all so spooky wake up Jack it isn't fair! I need it, I want it, oh I want it for my own! I need to know, make me aware, what is this place I've found! Ponyville, hmmm..."
Then the sun came up and they all died because skellingtons can only exist at night.
The end.
Author's Note
I had a lot to drink last night. Then this happened.
