How I, a Military Brony Became a Pony in Equestria

Steven trotted briskly alongside Applejack as they made their way out of the Everfree Forest. Applejack was suspicious about the strange new pony that seemed to appear out of nowhere in the Everfree. “So uh sugar cube, what were you doing in that there forest” she inquired with a cute southern drawl.

Steven couldn’t believe that he was in the presence of an actual member of the mane 6 and that he was an actual pony, a pegasus no less. It was like someone had made his dreams come true, maybe there really was a God?

Steven decided to answer Applejack as the silence was becoming most impolite. “Oh uh nothing, I was just uh” he paused to try and think of an excuse as to why any sane pony would traverse such a dangerous forest when he decided to deflect her question back at her. “Well what are you doing in it?” probably not making a high impression of himself but still affording some time to think.

Applejack, now being put on the defensive replied “Oh…uh look Ponyville” she pointed out as they moved from the forest onto a crude, dirt track. Applejack raised an eyebrow, clearly having noticed how evasive Steven had been but clearly not wanting to explain her own being in the Everfree when Steven had mysteriously appeared.

“Well anyhoo don’t know if you’re just passing through but can I take your name stranger?” she asked him, taking him off his guard as he stared at the town, mouth slightly agape. “Oh well it’s…” he paused as he realised that the name Steven might seem a little off in Equestria; so after some witty, quick thinking he decided to indulge his imagination. “My name is Siege Fire” Steven said with vigour as he sweat under the gaze of the element of honesty.

Applejack decided to cease questioning the strange pony for now, but still kept her suspicious ions high as they crossed the bridge and entered Ponyville.

Suddenly Steven felt a tremendous pain in his chest, he doubled over and gripped onto the side of the bridge. “Whoa there Sugar cube, are you alright?” Applejack asked. The pain was shocking and seemed to target his nerves, almost like some form of electricity. It subsided as quickly as it had arrived and he started to be able to think clearly again taking Applejack’s worried face with a smile. “I’m fine, thanks Applejack” he grunted, rubbing his chest fur.

As he stared at the ground he noticed something particularly queer however, and saw with much confusion, a small pebble bouncing completely of it’s own accord. “Earthquake? Surely not” he thought as the ground shook with tremendous force.

That was when out of nowhere, Steven was blindsided by a pink, slightly pudgy pony with a mane the texture of cotton candy and a coat that of a dark strawberry ice cream. He was assaulted knocked playfully to the ground with an “oof”, elicited from himself as Pinkie Pie, the party pony extraordinaire of Ponyville started to barrage him with an endless stream of questions that Steven could not possibly understand as Applejack looked onwards, biting her lip.

“Hiwhoareyouareyouknewofcoursesillyi’veneverseenyoubeforebutifi’veneverseenyoubeforethatmustmeanyouveneverbeentoPonyvillewhichmeansyoudon’tknowanyponywhichmeansyouhavenofriendswhichmeansyoumustbesupersadandmustcryathisficisinjestdearsirslotandyoumustbethinkingaboutgoingtoastrangeislandyeahgoingandlivingbyyourselfanddyingaloneandunloveandohtheHORROR!” Pinkie blurted almost incoherently as Applejack raced to pull the crazy mare off the frightened stallion.

“Gosh darn it Pinkie, we’ve told you not to greet new visitors like that, you scared the hay out of him” Applejack scolded. “Sorry AJ” she giggled as she bounced out of her grasp, “I just love meeting new friends!”

Steven stared from his position on the ground as the two ponies looked down at him. “It’s ok, Applejack. Pinkie was only meaning well It’s nice to meet you Pinkie” he said as Applejack hoisted him up with a powerful hoof and a roll of her eyes.

Pinkie was suddenly right up in Steven’s face as she demanded “HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME!?” to which Steven gulped with his eyes flitting from side to side as he tried to think of an answer. “Well uh… Applejack just said your name so I just uh… yeah” he finished weakly, knowing that it was true but still very off as Pinkie let him go and stroked her muzzle thoughtfully.

“Hmmm you are… TOTALLY RIGHT! Silly me, oh well I guess that’s that then, you should come by Sugarcube Corner sometime and we’ll have a cupcake eating competition. SEE YA LATER!”

Applejack turned to Steven as Pinkie bounded off in her odd gait that probably kept her weight from ballooning to that of a whale. “So then sugar cube; now I’ve seen you to ponyville, I’ll be getting back to Sweet Apple acres, stick around for the Celebration tomorrow why don’t ya? Just don’t go causing any trouble” she warned and with a tip of her hat, the cowpony left her endearing physical physique making Steven blush.

“Barely an hour into Equestria and I already cannot help but dress down every mare” he thought, knowing that as a human his luck with the ladies had been… not of the standards he would have gunned for let’s say. It got better when he joined the army and he had many hook ups and such whilst on leave with friends but long term relationships had never been something that came into question.

Steven was left alone, in a strange, yet familiar town he would only have dreamed about living in. Ponyville was pretty much an accurate depiction as it was in the show, even down to the random background ponies and recolours. Lyra, Bon Bon, Dr Whooves, Derpy, Button Ma… well everypony could get the idea now.

“WAIT!!!” Steven thought, he turned back and stared at the grey mare he had counted among the others with the off kilter eyes. He rushed up to his second favourite pony, with excitement, Rainbow Dash obviously being his first because she was naturally totally awesome and radical and at least 20% cooler than every other pony in the show.

“Hi there “ he said nervously as Derpy stepped back in surprise and smiled with a kind smile. “Why hi there I’m Ditzy Doo, are you new to town?” she said and Steven stepped back as tears formed in his eyes… No it couldn’t be, this was Derpy so why the… He was lost for words, not believing the cards that fate had dealt him. “DAMN YOU HASBRO!” he screamed in his mind as he smiled politely and cursed Larson forever to damnation.

“I’m… I’m new to town yes and well.. sorry you just reminded me of somepony I know and… I need to go now, goodbye” Steven said sadly as he backed away with his shoulders slumped, trying not to look back. Derpy… I mean Ditzy looked away at him as he went, a little confused by the whole matter but totally innocent to the injustice that had been caused without her knowledge.

Derpy blinked after Steven departed and scratched her blonde mane with a free hoof. “I wonder if he knows my cousin Derpy?” she wondered to herself as she shrugged and flapped her wings, flying into the sky delightfully awkwardly.

Steven held the frown that had developed as he pondered his thoughts. He was confused as to why he was alive and not dead, he should have died in the forest when Harry and his goons had hung him so unfairly. He thought he would be more depressed by the fact that they had literally hung him until he was dead without any consciousness and that he would never see his family or friends again.

He did not mind, he was only confused. Was this all a dream? Maybe he was simply in a coma and had been cut down from the noose, maybe he was dead and this was his second chance of life, maybe this was heaven and the fates had interpreted his one true desire? Either way it was a lot to think about so he thought with distaste about his killers.

“I can’t believe that my supposed comrades… my brothers in arms would do such a thing to me” he grit his teeth as he decided on where he should go next. “I know what I should do, I should go to the library, I’m sure Twilight will know what to do and she’s like my 2nd favourite pony… now since this particular version of Equestria doesn’t have a Der…”, Steven stopped grinning as he began to head in the direction of the library, the frown returned.

“This is gonna be so totally awesome” he said out loud as all the other ponies gave him an awkward look. He was so embarrassed, he hid his face as he galloped toward the library in haste. There it stood in all of its glory, it evoked a feeling not unlike meeting a celebrity in public, although that might have sounded strange to ponies around town. He took a deep breath to prepare himself and smiled as he knocked at the wooden door. He waited patiently for a response, but there was no such luck.

“No one home” he sighed. “Maybe I can at least have a look around”.

He called out Twilight and Spike’s names as he went sheepishly inside. The library was completely as he’d imagined it, filled to the brim with every kind and colour of book under Celestia’s golden sun. There were big books, small books, medium sized books, magazines and even pamphlets!

Twilight and Spike were nowhere to bee found however, in fact the library had a pretty stale smell in it as if nopony had ever been living here. It only smelt of dusty old books and magazines that all libraries smelt of.

He looked around everywhere and couldn’t help but grin like a complete idiot. This was so totally awesome, everything was exactly as it was in the show, the only difference was that there was no Twilight and the purple thing that plodded next to her and always screwed everything up.

He went back outside and asked some questions to a few passing ponies, one of them being Bon Bon, whom when asked about Twilight said she had no recollection of such a pony ever existing in Ponyville.

He was a little confused by the lack of Twilight but after sitting down at a nearby park bench he began to wonder if he’d arrived before the first season and suddenly thought back to AJ’s words about a Celebration. That was probably why there was a lack of Twilight and her faithful dragon Spike the dragon dragon the most dragon dragon in all the dragons.

“No, Twilight home, guess I will have to wait” he said aloud as he pondered with a hoof to his muzzle and heard a strange flapping above. Surprised and mystified by the amazing beauty of the sight above him his jaw dropped when he looked up.

It was none other than Rainbow Dash his 2nd favourite pony but by far the sexiest pony alive by far. “Oh my Gosh, Oh My Gosh” he said in succession as she looked quizzically at him as if he were some kind of fruit-loop or something.

He stared at her with the intensity of a ravenous hawk eyeing a juicy meal, she was simply… simply amazing, breathtaking, astounding, what with her luscious rainbow mane that seemed to flow better than Niagara Falls on a Tuesday, no style to it just simply a messy casual cut that constituated 120% pure cool. Her soft, velvety cyan coat that simply enhanced her slender flank with her rainbow lightning bolt cutie mark that showed her curvy features that were supported by her beautiful soft wings, which flapped so strong yet softly in the air above him.

“Why are you staring at me?” Rainbow asked, her voice rasping in a tomboyish tone. Steven blinked as she landed in front of him and began looking him up and down, studying him as if he were some kind of enigma. “Ain’t seen you around here before, where are you from?” she asked as she poked his chest with a hoof.

Steven was so excited that he was before none other than the Dash, the coolest pony in the MLP verse and almost collapsed at the scene. “I-I uh… I’m Siege Fire” he stuttered out as he stepped back and shook his head to clear of some very, interesting thoughts he’d had been having.

“You’re Rainbow Dash, you’re… you’re the Weather Captain here in Ponyville and oh my gosh” he almost choked as her quizzical look turned to one of smugness and her ego came before her curiosity.

“Oh so you have heard of my famed flying huh? It’s okay, so many ponies have reacted far worse to me than you, so you moving to Ponyville, then? You some city pony looking to catch the Princess tomorrow? Ah never mind doesn’t matter, I’ll see you around I have some clouds to clear to the east.”

Rainbow Dash gave a jovial salute, something Steven returned with much elation as she lifted into the air and in a flash of Rainbow, she was gone, zooming away from Ponyville faster than anypony could see. Steven sat back down on the bench and tried to overcome the feeling in his chest, she was the most beautiful mare he’d ever seen… though he had only ever seen like 10 mares physically in person so maybe that was an overstatement.

Looking around, he realised that ponies were setting up stands and posters ready for the Summer Sun Celebration, which thanks to a handy nearby sign confirmed to him that it was tomorrow.

“Twilight must be coming to check on everything tomorrow! Oh My Gosh that means that Nightmare Moon is going to be there and the mane 6 are going to form and WOW” he thought as he wiped some sweat from his brow and giddily tried not to squee.

He could figure out my predicament tomorrow, for now he guessed that spending some time in Ponyville wold be ace and, since Twilight wasn’t using the library tonight he had somewhere to stay. He was sure that nobody would mind him stealing borrowing board for the night and smiled as he stood up.

He trotted away from the library, intent on exploring this new land and all it’s wonders.