Chapter 1 Because Why Not!
Diamond and Discord
Written by ILIKEBOOKS
Today was another beautiful day in Ponyville but unfortunately beautiful or not Discord found himself bored. He dragged his body across the dirt roads, not even bothering to to lift his head to see where he was going. He sighed and continued moving across the dirt like that of a leaf blown against the ground.
Now one would wonder why a creature such as him would waste his time being bored, afterall he had power that could rival that of Princess Celestia. Surely he could go to unknown lands and make an adventure where he could fight against pirates in the search of island made completely out of candy! Or maybe he could go to a desert draped in a heavy robe in search of a sacred idol while fighting against misguided locals and eventually take over the land in the name of Democracy! Where he would then pillage the land for it's natural resources, wearing shades and smoking a cigar while yelling 'Questria! Fudge yeah! But alas here he was in the middle of a town called Ponyville dragging his sorry behind through the dirt.
"Without Fluttershy here I don't know what to do with myself." He said. "You know what I mean? One day you're having a jolly old time then next thing you know your face is in the dirt and you're crawling like a slug."
(Who are you taking to?)
"You tell me," he said to me.
(what?)
On the other side of things
"I'm soo bored! You know what I mean Silver?" The pink filly glanced to her right where an empty chair was. "Oh yeah, softball practice." She laid her head on the table and groaned. "I wonder what the CMC are doing? I really need to do something" She looked up at the bright blue sky. She frowned. "Stop looking so happy!" She yelled which grabbed the attention of ponies who were enjoying some ice cream. The sound of a baby crying filled the air.
"Why I never!" Said a mare as she grabbed her foal and began to pat its back.
"Why don't you stop being a such Debbie-downer!" A lanky colt said.
"Oh shut it Snails"
"You first." Snails stuck his tongue out."
"I'm trying to be nice here! Stop messing with me!" Diamond Tiara retorted
"Well look! The beast shows her true colors once again! Just because you're bored doesn't mean you have to ruin our ice cream and besides Snips backing me up! Right Snips?" Snails turned to his stocky companion.
"Dude, I can't argue with Diamond besides she is super hot!" Snips said.
Diamond stuck her tongue out and gagged. "Ew!, as if!" she hopped off her chair and backed away.
"Yeah, you better run you...uh attractive filly!" Snips said. Snails knocked the back of his head.
"You're supposed to insult her, not compliment her!"
"How can I insult all that!"
I can still hear you!" Diamond said from a distance.
"Yeah you can baby!"
"AAHHHHHHH" Diamond screamed.
"Real smooth Snips." Snails said sarcastically.
"Oh shut it!"
"Why do I attract the weird ones?" Diamond asked herself as she walked. She sighed. "I need to make more friends. Without Silver Spoon here I just feel incomplete."
"I hear ya sister" a voice said.
Diamond glanced up and saw a creature that she had only heard of, he had mismatched limbs, yellow eyes, and a sharp snaggletooth. "Ahh!" She screamed as she fell to the floor and crawled in a ball. "Please Celestia let me live! I promise I'll be even nicer than I am right now!" She let tears roll down her cheeks.
"Ahaha!," Discord laughed. Diamond sniffled.
"Why are you laughing?" Diamond asked as she wiped her eyes.
"It's hilarious how ridiculously cute you are!" He squeezed his cheeks together. "With your little diamond tiara and your pink coat!"
Diamond looked up and met Discord's gaze. "You have pretty good taste, well for a monster." Discord grabbed her hoof and kissed it an act which made Diamond's cheeks turn red.
"My name is Discord, the spirit of disharmony and chaos." He said as he pointed at his name tag which wasn't there before. Diamond blinked for second before she nodded.
"Oh, you're the Discord?"
"The one and only, nice to know my reputation proceeds me."
"Actually I know you because of the whole 'try to turn Ponyville into the chaos capital of the world' incident."
"Oh, ponies remember that?" Discord asked.
"It happened less than a year ago."
"Less than a year ago!?" Discord asked out loud. "I could of sworn that it's been nearly five years since then." Discord shrugged his shoulders. "Huh, enough about time, what's your name?"
My name is Diamond Tiara," she pointed at the diamond tiara on her head.
"Wow, that makes sense." He glanced over to her cutiemark. "A diamond tiara cutie mark, yep this is definitely interesting. So who is this Silver Spoon? Is she a friend of yours?"
"Yes, well she's my best friend." Diamond said quietly.
"Oh, she's not around is she? I know how that feels." he said as he floated above the ground. "My only friend is this beautiful mare name Fluttershy, but she's out of town."
"You must be bored then." She said..
"Oh bored out of my mind. Even with my astonishing power, I can't think of anything to do."
"You could come with me to the crusaders treehouse." Diamond suggested.
"That sounds fantastic! Wait just a moment!" He snapped his finger and in a flash where he once was stood a small brown colt with a black mane.
"How do I look?" He asked in a new voice.
"How did you do that!?" Diamond asked.
"Magic!" The colt said. He glanced upwards and closed his eyes. A small unicorn horn grew out of his forehead. "There we go! You shall call me Bob!" The colt exclaimed.
"Bob?"
"Yes Bob! Such an attractive and masculine name."
"Yeah, right" Diamond rolled her eyes.
"Okay let's go!" The colt jumped in the air and froze.
"Are you going to come down?"
"Just wait for the chapter to be over!"
Author's Note
Hello you beautiful people. This is more of an experiment than an full on serious story. There will be little to no romance in this story (unless you want me to ship Tiaracord... Which I could) I'm not exactly sure when and if this story will get a second chapter. Well you and I will just have to see what happens.
