Celestia Eats a Jelly Donut

by a human

Rating: teen
Tags: Other, Sex, Princess Celestia, Dark, Alternate Universe, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1974

Celestia enjoys a donut. It gets pretty intense.

Celestia orders a jelly donut from Pony Joe.

Then, she eats it.

Actually, we don't even see her eat the whole donut.

We just see her eat like, a couple bites.

NOT A COMEDY

Takes place in the Obamaverse (see my user page), but should make sense as a one-shot. Just accept that Celestia's nuts in this universe, okay?

Published 2015-10-14 00:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-10-14 00:30:01 UTC

Puncture

Celestia stretched, and splayed herself across the royal bed. She had taken off her royal regalia. Despite not covering much, it made her seem much more naked than usual.

…although, in that pose, she probably could have made a tracksuit look "more naked."

Many ponies—and humans, surprisingly—admired that form, and wanted it for themselves. She reveled in that attention. Even after thousands and thousands of years, she had never grown bored of looking into the face of someone that could look only at her. She would go out of her way to give those people special favors.

Favors like making their deaths slightly less painful.

She smiled, and laid her head back. Her rainbow hair and tail spread and gathered all over the sheets, almost as if they were some sort of liquid. Even when they were pressed against a solid object, and not floating in the air at all, they still never stopped moving, never stopped flowing. The colors, the so many colors, shades of colors that you were sure were not supposed to exist in this world, slowly moved through her hair, not obeying the laws of physics outside, not obeying the laws of perspective and reason and order. Those colors would, like her heart, continue to move for all eternity, slowly, but with a force mortals could hardly even comprehend, let alone attain.

Her immortality wasn't perfect. It had its inconveniences. But they were nothing compared to the prospect of eternal life. She, and she alone, was the highest order being in this world. She was not God. She did not create this world. But she had done even better. She had taken whatever gods there were, whatever beliefs anyone used to have, and replaced them all with herself. She, originally a mortal, had stolen the title of God. And that, to her, was much more impressive.

There was a knock at the door, and Celestia lifted her ears. It was a subtle knock, but, as an alicorn, Celestia's hearing was like that of an owl's, but better. She could hear more than just a knock—she could hear the stallion on the other end breathe, breathe in ragged breaths, and tremble slightly. And she could faintly smell the scent of sweat dripping down his brow, and another, delicious scent…

Ideally, for an immortal, patience was a key virtue. When one had time to kill for all eternity, after all, one must learn to spread out the activities in between as much as possible.

But for now, she could not resist inviting in the stallion and his beautiful scent in as soon as she could.

"Come in," she purred, and slowly, gently pulled the door open with magic. She couldn't see it—there was a foyer one had to get through to reach her bedroom. But still, even from such a distance, and with no feedback whatsoever, she was able to gracefully and gently open the door.

The stallion appeared to recoil a bit in response to this, and after taking a breath, he quickly entered the room. Even from those steps, Celestia could smell him, sense him so much better than before. It really was incredible with a difference proximity made. Nevermind the sight—just the smell of scared pony next to her was enough to satiate Celestia for days.

She could hear him hesitate, trying to figure out where she was. She said nothing. He probably thought she would kill him if he took too long, or something. Of course, that was ridiculous. From her highest level staff, she expected nothing less of perfection; from the ordinary staff, she expected at least an attempt of professionalism; but from the general populace? She expected nothing. She viewed them as nothing but pets. She was not bothered by their blunders at all—in fact, she was quite amused by them. It was incredible just what her presence could do to otherwise calm, collected ponies. Even the strongest of the strong were scared of her. She was like standing next to all of the world's great predators rolled into one creature. And those foolish enough to not be intimidated by her—she never became angry at them, either. On the contrary, she very much enjoyed breaking them.

The stallion stepped into the bedroom, and upon seeing Celestia laid out on the bed, sharply retreated a step, blushing.

Celestia smiled at this as well.

One of her latest experiments was making almost the entire population gay. Celestia, like many beings her age, had long ago passed the Straightness Event Horizon, and had enjoyed the company of both mares and stallions. But she was beginning to tire of heterosexuality. Her first, and most passionate loves were female, and she was beginning to realize that whatever physical attraction to men she had could not make up for those lifetimes of longing. She wanted to return to her roots… so she restructured society around them.

With her mind control magic already woven across the country, and her near complete control over her population's genetics, it was easy. Of course, it wasn't perfect—straight ponies still appeared randomly. But this was to be expected, and she found it amusing for them to be put under the same kind of stress people like her were so long ago. Surprisingly, reproduction wasn't even that much of a problem. Having decided to forgo STDs this time around, casual sex became quite acceptable—acceptable enough that it wasn't hard at all to get people to occasionally sleep with a member of the opposite sex for the greater good of society.

And still, despite likely being as gay as 90% of the rest of the signs out there, her figure was still enough to make him visibly aroused.

She smiled.

Still got it.

The stallion cleared his throat. "H-Hello, your highness," he stammered. "It's me, Pony Joe, a—"

"Celestia."

"…what?"

"Call me Celestia."

Pony Joe paused, wondering whether he should comply or not. "Er. Yes. Celestia. I have… it." He raised up the package. He paused again, as if he was unsure why he was saying this next part. "I have… the donut. The… jelly donut."

Celestia's fur bristled. "Yes," she said, craning her neck towards the bag. "Yes, I can see that. I can smell it. I can feel it." She closed her eyes and sniffed in strongly, and expression of altogether too much bliss spreading across her face. Eyes still closed, she said simply, "Open it."

Somehow, for Pony Joe, this perverse sight was far more disturbing than the torture scene he imagined. He set the paper bag down and unclasped the top, revealing a long, thick, glistening, meticulously prepared… jelly donut.

He had spent hours on that thing, thinking it the donut that would decide his fate.

Celestia knew.

And she knew, better than anyone, that food made under the supposed threat of death was the best food of all. An actual threat of death made things too sloppy and hurried. No threat of death made things too lackadaisical. But an imagined threat?

That was when people put just the right amount of their soul into their confections.

Celestia, savoring the moment, gently grasped the donut with her magic, and lifted it up into the air, hardly moving a muscle. Her control was impeccable, even for a frivolous task such as this. Pony Joe had many unicorn customers at his donut shop, so he knew how finicky levitation magic was. Often, his customers would exert too much pressure, and squeeze the donut a bit, or exert not enough, and let some parts flake off. That was normal—he was used to it. He wasn't used to this. Celestia, of course, did not let any of that happen—and it didn't even seem like it was any trouble for her. She was able to flawlessly levitate the fragile donut without the slightest effort.

Ironically, it was this display of finesse that gave Pony Joe a deeper appreciation of her powers than her ability to lift the sun every day.

Finally, after what seemed like—and probably was—minutes, the donut hovered next to Celestia's mouth. She smiled again, licked her lips, and opened her mouth slightly. Celestia, in the spur of the moment decision, decided to undo the slight illusion spell she had on her mouth all the time. Pony Joe's confusion would make the perfect topping for this meal.

She concentrated slightly, and then, her normal—by pony standards—teeth disappeared, only to be replaced by a set that would not look out of place in a wild wolf's mouth. It was easy to imagine her tearing off chunks of meat with those teeth—and this would not be far off the mark at all.

Tony Joe blinked, looking at the spot where her mouth was, wondering why she had suddenly developed fangs, and instinctively tried to cover his neck.

Celestia saw this, and chuckled slightly. She never started eating at the neck first. That caused death far too quickly. Everyone always made that mistake, and left the delicious parts she was actually after delightfully unguarded.

Those…

Delicious…

Soft…

Tender…

Pieces of flesh…

Celestia forcefully took a bite of the end of the donut.

The resistance of the skin of the donut stimulated the sensitive nerves of her teeth, and the coagulated jelly massaged her eager tongue.

In that moment, Celestia lost some concentration, and some jelly dripped onto the sheets.

It really was like blood, wasn't it?

Of course, blood doesn't usually behave like that. But Celestia could make it behave like that, if she wanted.

She could make…

Her subjects…

Taste…

However she wanted…

But even with that power… the texture and flavor of this specific type of donut… a jelly donut…

…was a remarkable replacement for the act of eating living flesh.

It could not ease her physical hunger the same way… but mentally? It encompassed and exaggerated all her favorite flavors of a carnivorous diet. It was an extreme exaggeration, one that most people would hardly even begin to understand, but for her, it embodied her favorite parts of hunting the same way a model with an absurdly exaggerated figure might embody someone's favorite parts of sex…

This brought to mind some other uses for the donut. Gripping it tightly, she reached back. Then, trembling…

She stopped herself.

Already, she could see the look on Donut Joe's face. The levels of pleasure she had shown eating the few bites of the donut had left him speechless. She could see the thoughts running through his head.

She knew… that even watching her eat was too much for some mortals.

If she made him watch any more, he would break. There were some people she was willing to break, but not him. She could not stand to have him break.

Because then he would not be able to continue baking.

She could re-break him into resuming his work, of course. But it would not be the same. She knew that. She had done so before, and toying with a ponies's sanity like that always left them a little more soulless than they began. And with food… the result was unacceptable.

"You may leave," Celestia said, still staring at the donut. "Your service… has been greatly appreciated."

Pony Joe quickly bowed. "T-Thank you very much your highness!" he stammered. Then, after making sure nothing bad was going to happen, he walked out as quickly as he could while remaining polite.

Celestia liked him. He knew his place, but still had enough free will to make things interesting.

That was the only reason her mind control magic on the country was so weak. Not due to lack of power. She easily had enough power to turn the entire world into her mindless slaves if she wanted. And she had tried that.

But hated it.

Why?

It was far, far too boring.