Thanks, Mother

by Titanium Dragon

Rating: everyone
Tags: Drama, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spoiled Rich, Diamond Tiara
Length: 1477

Diamond Tiara and Spoiled Rich discuss Diamond Tiara's plan to befriend the Cutie Mark Crusaders.

Diamond Tiara isn't stupid enough to do something like speak back to her mother without a plan. So when her mother calls her upstairs when she gets home after befriending the Cutie Mark Crusaders, there's only one thing she can say:

"Thanks, Mother."

After all, without her, she never could have made those stupid blank flanks want to be her friend.

Published 2015-10-11 12:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-10-11 12:10:02 UTC

I couldn't have done it without you

“Well, that went better than expected,” Diamond Tiara said, nodding to her butler as he pushed the door open for her. What was his name again? Jeeves? She shrugged, patting the knock-kneed pony on the shoulder as she stepped inside. “Good work.”

“Anything for you, m’lady,” the butler said, his knees quivering.

“Diamond Tiara!” came a sharp voice from the top of the stairs.

Diamond Tiara flinched. “Hello, Mother.”

“We need to have words, young lady.”

“Yes, Mother,” Diamond Tiara said, her ears falling back against her mane as she slowly followed the scowling mare upstairs into her father’s study.

“Sit.” Spoiled Rich gestured towards one of the large, cushioned chairs in the room as she stepped back towards the door, pushing it closed and locking the latch with her teeth. “So. Do you have anything to say for yourself?”

Diamond Tiara bit her lip, her eyes welling with tears before she lifted a hoof to her face, quickly brushing it across her eyes. Instantly, her expression changed, a smile curling her lips. “Thank you, Mother. I couldn’t have done it without you.”

Spoiled Rich’s scowl turned into a smirk, her eyes brightening as she stepped forward to pat her daughter’s mane. “You’re quite welcome, my little Diamond.”

“I thought I told you to stop calling me that,” Diamond Tiara huffed.

“Oh, come now. You’ll always be a little Diamond to me.” She grinned. “So, I take it you were successful then?”

“Hah! They bought it. Hook, line, and sinker.”

“That’s my girl. I knew you’d grow up to be a perfect little actress.”

“Oh, please. I could have told them my cutie mark was fake and they probably would have believed me.” Diamond Tiara rolled her eyes. “Seriously, a pony who doesn’t know what her cutie mark means? I spent an entire year running things around here. The paper, class president last year… Don’t they even remember how I got my cutie mark?”

“Probably not. Most ponies don’t see beyond their bit pouches.” Spoiled Rich waved a hoof airily.

“I don’t think they even get an allowance. They’re always mooching off of ponies.”

“Yes, well, such is the value of social connections.” Spoiled Rich shook her head. “After I found out that Princess Sparkle was giving those lessons away for free, I knew it was important to get in good with those blank flanks.”

“They aren’t blank flanks anymore, Mother.”

“Really?” Spoiled Rich arched an eyebrow.

“Oh, yes. After they helped me ‘find my destiny’,” Diamond Tiara’s hooves bent to form the quotes in mid-air, “they decided their destiny was to help other ponies find their cutie marks.”

“Really.” Spoiled Rich sat back on her haunches.

“And they all got shields.”

Spoiled Rich’s eyes widened slightly. “Oh, my. That’s quite the prestigious mark.”

“I know.” Diamond Tiara brushed back her mane. “Not that I’m surprised. Like I figured, there had to be some reason Princess Twilight was giving those blank flanks all those exclusive, special lessons.”

“Hmph. Well, then, all the better your plan worked. It’s too bad you had to break things off with that Spoon girl.”

“Oh, please,” Diamond Tiara flipped her hoof. “Silver Spoon is just a follower, latching onto more important ponies and doing whatever they say. It’s not like she matters.”

Spoiled Rich clicked her tongue, sliding her hoof under her daughter’s chin to look her in the eye. “Now, Diamond. What did I tell you about throwing ponies away?”

Diamond Tiara sighed. “Don’t ever throw anypony away, because you can always use them again next time.”

“Precisely.” Spoiled Rich frowned. “Besides, you wouldn’t believe how insistent those Canterlot bluebloods are on recycling. So much drama over a bit of crumpled plastic.” She removed her hoof from her daughter’s chin. “You’re going to have to apologize.”

“Ugh. Can’t I just wait for her to come crawling back to me? It’s not like she has any friends anyway.”

“Diamond…”

“Fine. I’ll come up with some way to apologize while letting her know I’m still on top.”

“That’s my girl.” Spoiled Rich patted her daughter on the head. “Besides. It would be good for you to have a friend with at least some culture. After all, as a rich pony—”

“You must always think of your standing,” Diamond Tiara recited.

“Yes. Even if the Spoons are beneath us, they still have some manners.”

Diamond Tiara leaned forward. “Speaking of ponies with manners, did you know that Sweetie Belle’s sister is making dresses for the princesses?”

“Of course; I heard the last time we were in Canterlot. Her new line is all the rage. They’ll throw the wretched things out in two months when the next line comes along, but they’ll remember.” Spoiled Rich’s eyes gleamed. “I do keep track of these things.”

“O-of course, Mother.”

“But you could do to learn a thing or two from her.”

“Yeah. Too bad I’ll have to put up with Sweetie Belle.”

“Well, rich ponies have to put up with all kinds of pretenders. Just think of it as practice.”

“Oh, don’t worry.” Diamond Tiara flicked her hoof. “I’ll have her eating out of my hoof by the end of the week.”

Spoiled Rich regarded her daughter for a moment before smiling and wrapping the filly up in a hug. “Oh, my little Diamond. I’m so proud of you. Your first step up on your own.”

Diamond Tiara blushed. “Well, you did help. They all think I really hate you now.”

Spoiled Rich laughed haughtily. “A small price to pay. It was all I could do to keep myself from smiling until my back was turned on those fillies. Of course, I’ll forgive you; it is not as if I could hold a grudge against my own daughter. And, hm… maybe I can even leverage it myself. I’m sure Rarity would be happy to give me a discount on an apology dress, just for you.”

“I don’t really need any more dresses, Mother.”

“Of course you do. What would the Canterlot ponies think if you showed up in last season’s dress?”

“Ugh.” Diamond Tiara pulled back out of the hug and tossed her mane. “It would be so much easier if I could just wear suits like dad.”

“Yes, well, stallion fashion is rather… slow moving.”

“More like frozen. They’ve been wearing suits and ties for fifty years.” Diamond Tiara hopped down off her seat, landing on the lusciously carpeted floor. “Well, when I make the rules, I’ll wear a suit.”

Spoiled Rich sighed. “You do take after your father in some ways,” she said as she ambled towards the door.

Diamond Tiara stopped mid-step. “So what should we tell dad? We should at least get our stories straight.”

Her mother shrugged. “I don’t think there’s any particular need to go into the details. Simply that you have made friends with those three fillies. He doesn’t really understand more subtle things. He really is too honest for his own good.”

“I don’t get how he’s so successful when he’s so nice to ponies.”

“Well, Diamond, sometimes you need the carrot, and sometimes you need the stick. He’s fortunate that he has me to carry the stick for him and use it as needed.” Spoiled Rich jabbed a hoof at her daughter’s chest. “But you have no such fortune. You’ll have to be the carrot and the stick.” She sighed again. “It would be much easier if you could marry well, as I did.”

“Please,” Diamond Tiara said as she reached up to flick the latch with her hoof, “I don’t need some stallion to run things for me. I mean, sure, ruling the student council through Pipsqueak will be fun, but when I’m grown up, I’ll be the one whose name is on the business, thank you very much.” She paused with her hoof on the door. “You know, those dumb ponies actually gave me an idea.”

“Oh?” Spoiled Rich arched an eyebrow at her daughter.

“Yeah. You remember those dumb cutie mark consulting services they have in Canterlot? Well, the Crusaders think they have some real talent there. Maybe that’s why everypony else got their cutie marks before they did.” She smiled nastily. “I’m sure there’s lots of rich ponies who are worried their colts and fillies aren’t going to get the right cutie marks who would love to get personal advice from Princess Twilight’s personal students. I’ll have to talk to dad about taking out an ad in the right paper.”

“Very ambitious,” Spoiled Rich said, stepping forward to ruffle her daughter’s mane. “But are you sure those little fillies will help you?”

Diamond Tiara laughed as she pushed open the door. “Of course they’ll help me. We’re friends now, right?”

Author's Note

Thanks to Not_a_hat and Foehn for their offers of late-night editing help!