Chapters You look Beautiful Against the Horizon
//------------------------------// // Apples at Sunset// //------------------------------//
Apples.
You love everything about them: the smell, the taste, even the texture. It was no wonder you'd found a job at Sweet Apple Acres shortly after arriving in Equestria. Twilight offered you a job at the library, Pinkie talked to you about being a cook, Fluttershy always needed help with animals, but the moment Applejack approached you about working the farm, you said yes.
In fact, as you remember, you didn't even give AJ the chance to finish her offer.
It wasn't just the apples that brought you out here, though. It was the open air, the feeling of a hard day's work, the freedom of open fields and orchards that stretched to the horizon... and something else, too.
You wipe the sweat from your brow and let out a heavy breath. Speaking of a hard day's work, the sun was just setting. You liked to come outside, just before dusk, climb the big ol' hill just south of the barn, and watch the sun set; it was a ritual you'd started the day you came to Equestria, those many months ago.
Back on Earth, you never took the time to appreciate these things, but you'd resolved to change yourself for the better, and this was your way of starting. Every now and then you would snag a mug of cider and sip on it as you watched the sun slowly dip behind the horizon, the border between endless blue and rolling green. To you, it was more calming, more important than any beach.
So you found yourself on that hill again, and again the sun was setting. You have to shield your eyes and look away from the sun, it was so bright. Was Celestia in a good mood, perhaps? You turn from the sun and your wandering gaze catches something new: a familiar brown stetson.
You squint to get a better view and confirm your suspicions. That's definitely Applejack down there. Odd, she's often working well through sunset. You've found yourself struggling to get her to call it a day more than once. Real stubborn, that mare, but you liked that about her; at times, to the point of admiration. She had the willingness to back her convictions with absolute confidence, to always stand for what she thought was good and right.
Course, to be as stubborn as AJ, one would need a constant voice of reason to act as a compass of perspective. You put a hand to your chin in contemplation. Had that become you in the recent months? You shake your head at the thought. No, you're still a human in a land of ponies and as much as you like it here, you don't belong, not really.
You weren't born here.
But what was Applejack doing? Curiosity gets the better of you, and you walk towards her. You're not trying to be stealthy, but the noise of the tall grass rustling in the wind muffles your footsteps. As you approach her, you hear something from her... is she talking to herself? You listen closer—no, that's not it. Sobs?
She's crying?
You're within earshot now. "AJ?"
She spins around to face you, shock shining in her emerald eyes. You definitely surprised her. You're not sure from this distance, but you think you can make out tears glinting in the light of the fading sun.
"S-sugarcube? W-watcha doin' out here? Ain't it about suppertime?" You start to walk toward her, but she stops you with a cry. "Wait!"
"What is it, AJ? Are you alright?"
She's rubbing her eyes, doing her best to get the tears out of her eyes. "I dunno what you're talkin' bout, hun, I'm peachy."
"You look like you've been crying."
Her chest puffs out at those words. "C'mon, how long you known me? Crying? Over what, a sunset? That rightly don't make sense."
But, in true AJ form, she hasn't outright denied your claim. Honest to the grave, that one. "You want to talk about it?"
"You jus' seein' things. Let's go inside." She starts walking toward the farmhouse, avoiding your eyes. Just as she's passing you, you put a hand on her withers. She pauses and looks in your general direction, but still not at you. Her eyes, though... they're red.
“AJ, back inside is your family. The most important ponies in your life, as far as I can tell."
She mumbles something, but you can't make it out.
"Ponies that both rely on and support you. Whatever it is you were doing out here, you've been holding onto it yourself."
Her gaze finally meets your own.
"Something is bugging you that you can't tell them about. But I'm not family. Heck, I'm not even a pony. So why don't you, just tonight, just between us, let a little bit of it out? Maybe I can show you the way, but we'll never know unless I get the chance."
You hold her stare with an iron grip and your hand never leaves her withers. Her eyes are wavering, watering up, then she looks away and starts sobbing again.
"Consarnit, you're not s'pposed ta see me like this."
You squat next to her and start rubbing her back. In response, she turns around jumps at you, embracing you in a hug. You wrap your arms around her and hold tight while she cries into your shoulder; you can feel your shirt dampen with her tears, which only makes you to hold her tighter. You brush a hand through her mane, desperate to break the hold of whatever has her.
The stalwart, the steady, the proud Applejack, consumed by darkness, and all she has right now is you.
"I gotta be strong for her. All the time. Every day. But... it's hard sometimes, y'know? And what if it ain't enough? She's got Big Mac, but he's ain't one for words. He'll always protect her body, but who can help with the rest? I can't always be there, not at school, where the other fillies set on her like wolves. She came home crying today.” She rolls her head over to touch your cheek. "Ya think she still looks up to me? A sis that can't even save her when she needs it?"
Her words are tearing at your heart, so much so you almost feel like crying, too. But you know this mare. "AJ, look at me. Look at me."
She releases you and looks into your eyes, leaving her hooves on your shoulders.
"I know you, and I know you would do anything for Apple Bloom. You do everything in your power to be the best sister, the best protector you can be. And there is no doubt in my mind she knows this, too."
AJ nods, wiping a hoof across her face. The tears have stopped. "Oh, what would she say if she saw me now?"
You smile and reply, "Your face is dirty."
She throws her head back and chuckles. "I think you're right on that account, partner."
The two of you embrace briefly one last time. "Here, let me get that." You take your shirt and wipe the tears from her face. "Wouldn't want Apple Bloom thinking you've forgotten your manners."
Applejack playfully smacks you with a forehoof and heads toward the farmhouse. You follow close behind. Just before you two reach the light of the porch, she pauses. You stop right behind her, curious.
"You know, sugarcube...I think I now know which direction is North." She flashes you a smile and you grin in return. While she walks inside, you linger a moment, looking west. You catch the sun just as it disappears from view, then head inside yourself.
The next day came quickly. You had been exhausted from the previous day's work and hit the hay as soon as dinner was over. Applejack tried to tell you something both at the dinner table and in the hall before you went to sleep, but when it came time for her to talk, all she could do was stand there with her mouth open.
You shrugged it off, it was probably just a thank you; a silly thing as far as you were concerned. There was no need for thanks, you were only doing what any decent person would do. You were just glad you could be there for her.
In the morning, AJ told you that the two of you would be working the north field, bucking down the Golden Delicious. Well, you didn't actually buck, you hit trees with a bat-like tool. Amazingly, the apples would rain down if you knew just the right position and angle at which to hit the tree.
You bet AJ had gotten you to work with her in order to say thanks. Somepony else might try to talk her out of it, but you knew better than to try, so you accepted the job silently and headed out with her. The journey wasn't too long; you made small talk along the way.
For whatever reason, she walked right next to you, almost touching your hip. She grazed your legs with her tail a few times. Your hands accidentally brushed up against her flank as well. You'd get out a "sorry" when it happened, but AJ just laughed it off.
You're not so sure they were accidents.
Eventually, you both make it out to the Golden Delicious trees and get to work. You started "bucking" along with AJ, but she had you moving the bushels of apples onto carts before long. It was a typical day. At least, for a little while.
The first thing you noticed was how deliberately she moved: slowly, almost... seductively. Her hips swung back and forth more frankly than usual. You brushed it off, you're sure you were just seeing things, but it didn't stop.
You found yourself spending more and more time just staring at her. For the first time, you were noticing her sturdy, defined body. Corded muscles all along her legs, neck, and even flank; a flank that had been put through every applebucking season since AJ started working the farm. It was fair to say Applejack was well-equipped.
She caught you gaping. "See somethin', hun?"
You shook your head, breaking out of your trance. "Sorry, just got lost in the view."
"You talkin' bout the orchard?"
"Yes. Definitely the orchard. Sure ass—I mean, IS something."
A sly grin crawls upon her face. "Alrightly, then." She returns to her bucking.
You catch yourself stealing glances at her working, watching her rear ripple with the force of each fuck—er, buck. Pull it together, boy, there’s still plenty of work to do. You let out a deep sigh and get back to the bushels.
This is how things continue for a while. You catch glimpses of AJ doing what she does best, and what's she's doing best right now is getting you aroused as hell. What is it with her today? These thoughts haven't so much as poked around your head until today, and now you can't get rid of them for the life of you.
You decide to focus on your work in an attempt to clear your mind, and soon you're moving bushels like a machine. Bend over, grab, stand up, move to cart. Bend over, grab, stand up, move to cart. Bend over, grab, st—
Your face collides with something soft and furry. You stumble, dropping the bushel and apples spill over the ground. You wipe your eyes and look up at what you bumped in to.
It's AJ. More specifically, her ass.
"Woah, sorry, there. Sometimes even I have trouble controlling that thing."
Her words say one thing, but her face says another. She winks at you.
Okay, you are definitely not imagining things now. She is coming on to you. You're having a hard time comprehending the situation. If this was back on Earth, you'd have jumped her bones long ago... but this—this was different. And before you acted you need to figure out whether it was good different, or bad different.
"Heh, don't worry about it, AJ. I'll get these cleaned up."
She walks back you while you're still sitting on the ground. Her tail brushes against you as she drags it all the way from your foot to your shoulder. It stops for just a moment on your junk.
"Don't work too hard."Her voice is racy and as thick as honey.
You gape at her ass as it swings back and forth, then you gulp. Your member had made up its mind, but you had not. So you get up and collect the apples, returning to your work.
At least, you tried.
But the more time passed, the harder it became to ignore Applejack. She never outright said anything, but these little 'incidents' kept occurring. Every time you looked up, her flank was facing you. She kept bumping into you, making sure to graze across your sensitive areas. That tail of hers was crafty, too. You were surprised at how well she could control it.
It came time for lunch, and you two were getting ready to head back with the harvested apples and for a break. Just before you got to the carts, though, AJ blocked your path. You started breathing heavily, but not from exhaustion. She very slowly sauntered up to you with half-lidded eyes.
"Maybe humans are a touch slower than I thought. I'm done beatin' round the bush, hot stuff."
She rears up on her back legs and knocks you down with her forehooves. The moment you hit the ground, she positions herself over your body. Her hair tie falls out, allowing her mane to cascade around you. The stetson drops to the ground.
"I wanna fuck."
You are now hyperventilating and your dick is hard as a rock, but you still can't make up your mind. This is all happening so fast. You can't deny the attraction is there, though. You and AJ may tussle at times, but it's often a result of stubbornness for one of you refusing help from the other—and you loved that about her. Not to mention she's hardworking, honest to a fault, a great sister to both Apple Bloom and Big Mac... and that flank! Goddamn.
You think you just made up your mind. However, you weren't exactly, uh, experienced in the whole pony-human relations thing.
"Well, that sounds pretty swell, AJ. Yeah, wonderful." Smooth, tiger.
"Sugarcube, you got five seconds to say, 'No'. If you dun say anything, then things are gonna get real dirty 'round here, and I ain’t talking about the kind of dirty your face is right now." She leans in so her mouth is right next to your ear. "I reckon, we's about to make rabbits jealous."
The way she spoke wasn't just sexy, it was downright wanton.
"One."
She's looking into your eyes, now.
"Two."
God, her eyes are so beautiful.
“Three."
Like emeralds stolen straight from Rarity's collection.
"Four."
Or a ripe granny smith apple.
"Five."
A lewd smile appears on her face. For a second, the two of you just stare at each other, panting.
The next instant, you both attack.
Your hands go straight to her flank and squeeze. Her mouth crashes into yours. The kiss was primal, one of pure lust, and your tongues fight like gladiators. Applejack sits down, landing her ass right on your junk. You're lost to your hunger, just as AJ is lost to hers.
She starts rubbing her plot into your crotch and you respond by flexing your fingers, grasping that wide, magnificent rear tighter. Then you hands start wandering, exploring the expanse. Even though you're kissing her, feeling her up, rubbing into her, it's not enough. Your bodies beg for more.
You flip her over, holding the feral kiss. Her tail then wraps itself around one of your legs. She moves her hooves to get a good grip then rolls the two of you again, putting you back on the bottom. Her hooves start darting under your shirt, desperate to get it off. You move to help her, but she knocks your hands away.
You're momentarily confused and she breaks the kiss. "You put those things right back where they were, partner. I know how to undress a stallion." She turns around so her ass is over you, and you realize what she's about to do a moment before she does it.
Her gorgeous flank lands right. on. your. face. You can't believe how massive it is—you even have a hard time breathing through it.
"I don't feel no hands, yet!"
You immediately grab and squeeze again. She responds by rubbing it against you. Her motions almost set you off right there. Hooves start digging under your shirt and the buttons simply pop off; AJ didn't have the patience to undo them. You feel a hot breath on your crotch as she leans over to undo your trousers with her mouth. This increases the pressure of her ass on your face—heck, you can't even breathe now. You could lift it off of you, but screw that.
Her tongue brushes up against your cock as she works to get your pants off. A chill travels up your spine and pretty quickly, your member is exposed. AJ was really skilled with that mouth of hers. You're getting light-headed from lack of air, but you just dig your fingers further into that thick, heavenly butt of hers.
With a gasp, you find out exactly how skilled she is.
In one fell swoop, she takes your entire length into her mouth. She starts bobbing up and down right away, anxious to get you going. Her tongue laps back and forth along your shaft. This elicits a grunt from you, muffled by her ass.
She stops the glorious work of her tongue. "Dangit, Twig-legs, get lickin!" she says, shifting her rear so her flower is lying on your mouth.
You readily oblige. As you work, she returns to swallowing your member. Her mouth feels so incredible, you almost pass out. It's not a refined technique, but greedy and eager. You start shifting your hands over her rear, trying to get more traction and push her ass harder into your face, giving you a better angle on her marehood. You roll over on your side, giving you more freedom. Your tongue is darting in and out Applejack, exploring as deep as you can, intent on giving her the kind of pleasure she's giving you.
Her tail wraps around your head and pulls it closer. A moan escapes her throat, reverberating on your cock as she's blowing you. You keep working that spot, and Applejack rewards you with a shudder. She is determined to keep up and intensifies her own actions. Her legs curl around your head and drag your face even further into her pussy.
The things her tongue is doing are amazing—you can't help but start thrusting into her mouth. However, she stops sucking as soon as you do this. You're about to ask why when you hear a shrill moan.
Her eyes are closed and she's gaping. She squeals your name as her entire body seizes. Juices flow over your mouth and chin, signalling her release. You smile internally as Applejack releases your head and turns to face you.
With her hair covering half her face, and the eyes of a lust-crazed goddess, she looks both radiant and intimidating. She gets off of you and lowers her head, striking the ground with a hoof like she's about to charge.
You scramble to your feet and hunker down just as she breaks into a gallop and leaps at you. Her forelegs hook around your shoulders and her momentum knocks you back a few steps, but you're able to keep your balance and you're now holding her up, her belly just inches from your own. Smirking, she dives in for another kiss and your mouths join once again.
Distracted by the kiss, you don't notice when her back legs circle your hips. She tightens her leg muscles, pulling your waist toward her, slamming your dick into her marehood.
You gasp in surprise, and she starts working her hips while you're still convulsing in pleasure from the initial contact. You make a mental note to never underestimate AJ's ability in the sack, then return her thrusting with your own. Your knees start to tremble; the sensations are too much for you to screw and hold her at the same time.
You stumble over to a cart and throw her down on the back, never letting your member escape her heat. She keeps her back legs hooked around your hips to allow her something to pull against, but her forelegs are now limp, bouncing back and forth with your rhythm. You're both panting like dogs, not saying a word, though you're grunting with effort. You slam into her over and over while her hips move in perfect synergy.
The pleasure is getting to you, forcing you to clench your teeth. You lean over AJ, smacking your hands onto the cart on either side of her head. Sweat is dripping off of your face onto hers, but neither one of you care. You're running out of energy to keep it up, but you're ready
From the look on Applejack's face, she is, too.
You speed up and AJ matches pace. With a roar, you rear your head back and bite down on Applejack's shoulder. She moans in reply. Your world explodes in pure rapture; your vision goes white. In that moment you both cum, finally achieving the release you'd sought.
You collapse onto AJ, still shooting spurts of jizz into her... but you forgot something, something you just learned:
Never underestimate Applejack.
"That ain't gonna be enough to please this farmpony, human!" She bucks you off.
Your sore body hits the ground, knocking the air from your lungs. Your eyes widen as AJ leaps back onto you, lunacy dancing in that gaze of hers. She looks angrily at your fading erection, trying to think of a way to speed your recovery. It's not long, however, before her eyes light up with inspiration
"You an ass man, right, hun?"
You're too wiped-out to respond, so she takes the initiative and sits on your chest.
"Where you want it? On your chest? Your hands? Your face? Or...” She starts scooting south. "Down here?"
Applejack is rubbing her flank all over your junk. At first, there are no results, but she keeps at it, sensually moving her rear in circles. You think you drooled a little. Before long, AJ's skillful motions have resurrected your arousal. Even at full mast, though, Applejack continues her grinding a while. When she's satisfied, she leans in and starts sucking on your neck. You close your eyes and lift your chin, exposing as much of yourself as you can.
AJ takes full advantage of it. You feel her grasp your hardness in a hoof as she raises her ass high.
"Ya might wanna be gentle, cause I sure as sugar won't be.” She sinks her butt right onto your shaft.
It's tight beyond belief, prompting you to grunt in surprise and pleasure. She starts slowly to keep from hurting herself but doesn't waste any time getting into a rhythm, never stopping the licks and sucking on your neck.
You lay one hand on her flank and use the other to pull her close. You want to participate, but she's just so damn good at this, you can't think straight. It's all you can do to hold on and not ejaculate right away.
You realize if you let things go on like this, AJ's going to end up disappointed again. Mustering your resolve, you roll over and take control of the pace. Applejack is shocked only for a moment, then passion returns to her eyes. She grabs your shoulders as you plunge into her. You bend over and start giving her neck the same attention she gave yours, eliciting a moan out of her.
It's not enough for you, though. You need to get her off again, so you snake a hand downward.
"Ooohhh, you sure know how to please a mare."
You grin and insert two fingers. She can't help but let out a moan that turns into a squeak; she’s both beautiful and adorable. You being exploring her depths, searching for that vital, sensitive spot, maintaining your movement into her ass as well.
Now she's the helpless one, unable to participate due to your attentions. This drives you further into her and your fingers seek more urgently. Before long, you feel AJ tense up against you. Her snatch practically seizes your hand and holds it in place.
That's what you were looking for; you exploit it, causing Applejack to release herself once again, crying in ecstasy. You withdraw and wobble backward, trying to recover before you blow. AJ should be down for a little while after that.
At least, that's what you thought for all of two seconds.
The next moment she was up and charging at you, yelling "Yeee-haw!"
Her shoulder slams into your upper leg and you flip over her head, landing on her back. She keeps running until she's about to run into a tree, then hits the brakes. Hard.
You slide off of her back and up against the tree. Shaking your head, you blunder to your feet, preparing yourself for another attack. Applejack has turned away from you and dug her forehooves into the ground.
"Ay-Jaaayy!"
She bucks with considerable force, but she wasn't aiming for you. Her legs hit the tree on either side of your waist and, by golly, the mare has aimed her pussy perfectly to sit right in front of your member. The shock of the buck reverberates through the tree and your body. You're dizzy for a moment and when your vision clears, your can see her dripping marehood waiting for you.
"Damnit, Twig-legs, don't stare at the thing, stick it in!"
You're tired, but you're a man. You love the feeling of a hard day's work. And this is some hard work—literally. You shove your manhood into her and grab her rear, holding her steady.
Then fuck her relentlessly. Over and over. You don't know how long it lasted.
Felt like hours, though you don't see how you could last that long. Applejack and you switched positions once, twice, a hundred times. She was on top of you, then you on top of her. The fucking went on and on.
You weren't human and pony anymore, just two animals driven by lust, attraction, and need.
You body gave up before your spirit. You collapse, your energy finally giving out. Applejack's warm body is by your side as you lose consciousness in the shade of an apple tree.
You open your eyes and the first thing you see are emeralds, brilliant and verdant.
"How was yur rest, hot stuff?” She's smiling at you, a bedroom smile, a smile of relief. Of peace.
You sigh and let the wind graze over your exposed skin. You suppose you should be worried about Big Mac or Apple Bloom finding you naked with AJ like this, but for some reason, you're not. The sun is actually dipping toward a rest of its own; you must have been out for a while.
"It was wonderful, AJ."
She runs a hoof down your chest, tracing the muscles you'd developed while working for her—no, with her.
"I guess we didn't get much done today, huh?" you ask.
"I reckon Big Mac was counting on it."
You look at her, raising an eyebrow. "What do you mean by that?".
She shakes her head. "I've learned many things about my brother. One is that he's quiet. The other: he's ain't dumb. He knew." Dropping her stetson over her eyes, she sighs. "He knew."
Your hand curls around Applejack, resting on her stomach. Absentmindedly, you start rubbing. You can feel her breaths, even and calm. Closing your eyes, you can hear the air escaping her lips, the most beautiful sound.
You turn to her. "Say, AJ, what were you doing outside last night? I usually see you either still working or eating by then."
She's blushing, but maintains eye contact. "I—I've been going out every now and then to... remember while the sun sets. See, when I lost my parents, they were buried at dusk. That's what I always recall about that day. The humid air, the fading light, the long shadows, it's a part of me, now. And I made a promise to myself under that falling star." Her eyes are watering up.
"AJ, you don't have to say anything you don't want to."
She shakes her head vehemently. "No, hun. I gotta say this."
You nod and brush her blonde mane from her eyes.
"I promised... I promised I'd change. That I'd be better. A better sister, a better farmer, a better friend. That I'd never let those I loved down, never give up the morals they'd put in me."
"I said somethin' I don't think ya caught last night. When you said my family were the most important ponies in my life..." the words washed over you in that sweet voice of hers: a banjo on a summer night, a meadowlark in a field of wheat, "I said, 'So are you'."
The two of you held each other like you'd never let go, like you'd never be separated again. You dared the world to try. Over AJ's shoulder, you could see the sun start to dip below the horizon.
"Which way is North, do you think?" you ask.
There was only a short pause before her answer. "Whichever way points to you."
The two of your sat there, embracing, facing North and watching the sun say farewell for another day.
Maybe you weren't born here. Maybe you weren't a pony. Maybe you'd never fit in. But maybe, just maybe...
...you'd belong.
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You Drink the Sunbeams Like They Were Raindrops
Earth.
You look down at the dirt falling between your fingers as waves of memories crash over you. It was curious how the ponies called it ‘earth’ here, too. Looking up, you close your eyes and focus on the breeze; a gentle wind like nature itself was grazing your skin with the lightest touch. There were so many things you missed about home. The crowded, sprawling cities, any information you wanted within only a couple clicks, and, most of all, the friends you had left behind.
Did you really leave them behind?
It wasn’t your choice that led you to Equestria, but they had to move on, regardless. They were strong, though. They didn’t need you. Truth be told, you were the one who needed them, especially after your last relationship.
You cringe and release the rest of the dirt from your hand, letting the soft breeze carry it away, then smack your hands together to clear the dust. It’s a waste of time to be regretting the things you no longer have. Besides, life is good here.
For now, at least.
AJ is waiting for you back in the orchard. Best not be slacking when there’s work to be done. You get to your feet and wipe the dirt off your rear.
Just before you turn around, though, you see a pony on the path into town. He’s not moving, just staring at you. Another tourist, wanting to gawk at the strange alien. You had gotten used to the stares, though most ponies around here knew you now. This one is new. You can’t make out much about him except his coat: a dark color, unnaturally deep. The pony and you share a gaze for several seconds, then he starts walking toward town. An urge to follow him rises up within you, but it’s probably nothing, and you need to be getting back.
You turn around, sticking your hands in your pockets, and make your way to the trees you and Applejack had been bucking. The sun bears down on you, making you blink and clear the sweat from your eyes. There were so many things about Equestria that were familiar and so many other things that didn’t make sense. Back home, nature was just... nature. You never felt anxious or strange when immersed in the wilderness but here—here it seemed there was something more to it. Something oppressive, yet gentle. Curious, yet predictable.
Maybe it was just your mind playing tricks on you. This was definitely an apple orchard, ponies were definitely ponies, although these ones only came up to your belly. You could pick one up, too, if you had both hands free. Well, AJ, perhaps. Not her brother. Which, speaking of, he’s standing right where you left AJ and she’s nowhere in sight.
He greets you with a nod and goes back to bucking. You nod back and pick up your bucking bat.
“So, where’s Applejack?”
”Relieved her for a spell. Should be back before long.”
Fair enough. She was known for working herself to death. You’re still a little leery, though. There was plenty of work to be done elsewhere; Big Mac always had his hooves full. You remain silent, however, and get to work. The crack of the bat connecting with the apple trees and the weight of the swing melts your troubled thoughts away. This is work. Nothing more, nothing less.
Simple, yet satisfying.
Big Mac and you work in silence for a while. You lose track of time but your concentration is broken when he coughs.
You turn to him. “What’s up, Big Mac?”
”Couldn’t help but notice that haul you and my sis brought in yesterday was a mite smaller than usual.”
Gig’s up, bud. AJ was right about her brother’s perception. “Ah, yeah, Applejack and I were pretty wiped out, so we called it early.”
”Called it early in the middle of the orchard? Didn’t want to relax back in the house?”
“We were resting in the shade of a tree.”
He nods. ”Makes sense. You two still up for workin’ a full day, right? Exhaustion won’t be getting in the way that often, will it?”
“Can’t speak for your sister, but I know I’m good.”
”Oh, you can’t now?”
Damn, he is sharp.
You run a hand through your hair and sigh. “Are you trying to make a point, Big Mac?”
”I ain’t so sharp as to be makin’ some kinda point. Just concerned it all. Don’t want my sister to have troubles workin’ cause of something she’s too stubborn to tell me about.”
He leans forward on his forelegs and unleashes a mighty buck on the tree behind him. A terrible crack echoes throughout the orchard, one loud enough to hurt your ears. The entire tree reverberates with the force of the kick, dropping every last apple it had been holding. As Big Mac’s hooves come off the tree, you can see literal craters where his hooves had hit.
”Huh, guess I forget my own strength sometimes. Good thing trees can’t feel anything.” He’s looking directly at you the entire time.
You swallow. “Yeah, they can take a bit of a beating, can’t they?”
”Well, well, look who’s back.”
You turn to where Big Mac is looking and see Applejack approaching. She looks much more rested than when you had left her.
”Howdy, Twig-legs, big brother! You two wouldn’t happen to know what that sound was, would you?”
You point a thumb over your shoulder to Big Mac and AJ rolls her eyes.
”Trees are for buckin’, not abusin’, Mac. I’m good and fresh, so you can get back to whatever you were workin’ on before.”
He just nods and walks off, waving a short farewell to you and AJ. His eyes linger on you a bit longer than necessary, then he’s gone.
You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding.
Applejack watches her brother leave, and as soon as he’s no longer visible, she leaps up on you chest. Wrapping her legs around your hips and neck, she dives in for a kiss. Your lips crash together and your tongues intertwine. You bring a hand to the back of her head, relishing the contact of her mouth. The kiss continues for several seconds before you break away.
Smiling, you say, “How was the break?”
”Heh, Granny was able to rope me into something, but it wasn’t half as hard as the work out here. I would have preferred to spend the time out here with you, but Macintosh insisted.”
“I bet he did.”
Applejack releases her grip on you and you let her down gently.
”Enough of that lovey-dovey stuff, though. You ready to get some real work done?”
Grabbing one of your biceps, you flex it liberally. “Hell yeah.”
She rolls her eyes at you. ”Now I think I liked it better inside with Granny.”
You throw your head back and laugh; Applejack cracks a smirk as well before returning to the task at hand. Shifting your grip on the bat, you do the same.
Comfortable silence. Those are the only words you could use to describe the lack of talk between AJ and you. There were grunts, cracks, and the sounds of heavy breathing, but no words. Every now and then, you’d glimpse over and catch her eye. The two of you would share a look and speak with something more powerful than words then return to work.
The rest of the day passed like this: bucking, sweating, and smiling. It was pretty late in the afternoon when AJ called over to you.
”Hey, handsome! We’ve got a good haul for today. I’m gonna get these wagons back to the house, you head back and see if Granny or Big Mac need anything.”
“You sure you got the wagon on your own?”
It’s a pretty big payload, one a bit larger than you usually saw her lugging around.
She just guffaws and waves you off. ”I’m gonna pretend I didn’t hear ya say that. Now get.”
You nod and start on your way back to the house, but AJ stops you by calling your name before you get too far.
”Head to the barn once you’re done. I’ll be waiting.” She emphasizes the last word with a wink, and you take off.
You wanted to get back to that barn as soon as possible.
It hasn’t been but a couple minutes when you hear your name again—this time, from above. Eyes going to the sky, you spot the pony responsible: Rainbow Dash. She zips by you in an incredibly low dive, kicking up wind and dust. You shield your eyes with an arm.
When everything settles, you see Rainbow not ten feet away, strutting towards you.
You smile at her. “Always got to make an entrance, don’t you?”
”Of course! Being this cool doesn’t come naturally, I need to work on it. And I gotta say, your face looks a lot better without the hoofmarks on it.”
With a laugh, you offer Rainbow your palm and she smacks it with a forehoof.
“Are you never going to let me live that down? That was months ago!”
”Psssh. You shoulda seen your face! I know I pack a mean buck, but you went down so hard!”
Eager to change the subject, you wave your hand in dismissal. “Alright, alright. What brings you down here?”
”I wanted to hang out with you and Applejack. Haven’t seen you two in, like, forever!”
You offer a weak smile. “Applejack and I are pretty beat, Rainbow. We’re just now finishing up work for today.”
”I knew you’d say that. So how about this: tomorrow afternoon, meet me at the lake outside of town. We’ll chill there! I’ve been wanting to race you in a swim and tomorrow’s a great chance.” She leaps into the air and starts hovering, hitting you in the shoulder and chanting, “Eh? Eh? Eh?”
“You? Beat me in a swim race? Not happening.”
She hovers over and sticks her face into yours. ”Scared of a little challenge? You know I can beat you anytime, anywhere.”
With a smug grin, you brush some dirt off your shoulder. “I’m not scared of losing, I’m just scared of what’s going to happen to your reputation when I lap you.”
She jerks back, staring at you like you’d just insulted her mother. ”Oh, it is so on, now! Tomorrow, noon, you and me! And bring Applejack!” Saluting, she races off, once again blowing dust into your face.
You shake your head at her display. Fiercely competitive, Rainbow Dash had become one of your first friends in Equestria right behind Applejack... initial disagreements aside. You worked yourself hard, but Rainbow was something else. She never stopped reaching, never let her ambition dwindle and wore confidence like an armor, albeit sometimes a bit flashy about it. You liked hanging around somepony like that. Some of those traits bled off onto you, gave you strength.
She loved butting heads with you in just about every sport. A test not just of skill or talent, but determination. You two used each other to push yourselves. As you make your way to the farmhouse, you realize exactly how much you had missed her. It’s true; you and AJ had been working awfully hard the last couple weeks. You’re both due a rest.
Once you get back to the house, Granny has some kitchen work for you to do. You help her with a smile on your face, but there's a stirring in your loins, urging you to get to the barn. She has you working for a good fifteen minutes, though it feels like an hour.
The moment you finish working, you jog out of the house, not wanting to betray your excitement but not restrained enough to walk. When you make it outside you see the wagon Applejack had been hauling, sitting unattended next to the barn. She’s definitely in there by now.
You approach the barn doors then give your surroundings a quick glance for onlookers. It’s clear, so you dart inside, closing the doors behind you. The smell of hay hits you like a truck; the barn air is stuffy from the heat and humidity. In the corner, shifting hay bales around, is Applejack.
She finishes moving one and stops to look at you, grinning. “Howdy. What brings you here?”
“Just wanted to see if you needed help with anything.” You stroll over to her.
”’Help’, eh?” She brushes her tail up against the inside of one of your legs. ”I kin think of a couple’a things for you to help with. How ‘bout you start unravelling these here bales and spread the hay around?”
You tap her flank. “Sure thing, partner.”
The two of you start removing the rope fastenings on a hay bale. As you work, you catch AJ eyeing your hands. She’s almost panting.
”I sure could use some hands like that. Would make work a lot easier.”
“Just work?”
”Well...” Her tail wraps around one of your legs, right next to your crotch. ”Maybe a few other things.”
You find yourself breathing hard as well. It’s becoming harder to get the fastening off the hay bale; your fingers are less precise than a moment ago. You catch the smell of AJ’s musk wafting over. Her scent brings you to full mast.
Through the distraction, though, you’re able to get your fastening off. AJ is still struggling with hers. Kneeling down next to her, you run a hand through her dirty mane.
“Perhaps my hands could help out here?”
She stops working and turns to you. ”I bet they could.”
You place a hand over the hoof still on the fastening and start fumbling with it. Your eyes, however, are still locked on Applejack, and hers on you. AJ keeps trying to remove the fastening, but your hand is more interested in her hoof. You start rubbing it, massaging every line and indent. She can no longer maintain her grip on the rope and instead allows your hand to explore further.
Your faces have been moving closer the entire time. Her breath is hot on your skin, and her eyes twitch with each of your exhales. You can make out the detail on her face now: the brilliant emerald irises, pupils growing in size, specks of dirt on her cheeks.
She breathes out, ”I think, hun, your hands ain’t doin’ much help.”
“What a shame...”
Your noses are practically touching now.
”Yeah.”
You both inhale, brimming with anticipation and wonder. Time freezes for a moment.
Then you dive in.
The kiss is powerful and filled with the sweetness of apples. You’re a little surprised at how restrained it is. Completely unlike yesterday, but it’s wonderful all the same. Your hands wander; one moves through Applejack’s mane, the other crawls along her belly.
Her coat is soft, though speckled with clumps of dirt and damp with sweat. AJ snakes a hoof under your shirt, both eager to remove it and to feel your chest. She mumbles into the kiss and removes her mouth.
”You humans and yer damn clothes.”
You smile and help her remove your shirt. As soon as it’s off, she walks over you, knocking you onto your back. She lays down on top of you, moving in for another kiss and grinding her nethers against your crotch. You knock her hat off to feel her mane, exploring it with both hands.
The kiss becomes even more desperate. Your tongues itch for more contact, more intimacy. One of your hands makes its way to the base of AJ’s mane on her neck. You start to scratch and massage it; AJ rewards you with a meek moan.
Your erection is begging for freedom from the prison of your pants and AJ’s movements down south are making you impossibly stiff. Her juices have soaked your jeans as well. She’s rearing for more.
You flip over and shift your weight to your knees, allowing you to lift your crotch and unzip your pants, never removing AJ’s mouth from your own. With some skillful scooting and tugging, you’re able to get your pants off. Your member happily stands like a flagpole the moment it’s free.
AJ glances down at it. ”Glad to see...*huff*... you’re just as ch-chipper ‘bout this as I am.”
You grin in return and start raining kisses down on her. Starting at her cheek, you slowly make your way down her neck, then her stomach, stopping right above her heat.
She squints at you. ”Hey.” Her tail wraps itself around your shaft and squeezes. ”Don’t be teasin’. I need somethin’ in me. Now.”
You grab her flanks and start caressing her folds with your tongue. At the same time, she starts using her tail to stroke you. You thought that it would have been painful without some kind of lube, but her tail is as smooth as silk.
AJ’s marehood is radiating heat like an oven, and she’s panting before you’ve even touched it. You’re about to dive into her snatch when you get an idea.
An evil grin appears on your face and you look to Applejack. “Beg for it.”
Her stroking immediately stops and she raises an eyebrow at you. ”Pardon?”
“I want to hear the mighty Applejack beg to be pleasured.”
Her tail withdraws and she gapes at you. ”You can’t be serious.”
“Dead serious.”
She smacks your head with a forehoof. ”You gone loopy since I last saw you? That ain’t happenin’. Now get to it.”
She attempts to push your head toward her nethers, but you don’t let her. You maintain your look of depravity—if anything, your grin widens.
“That didn’t sound like begging.”
”Cause it wasn’t. Stop kiddin’ around! I need this!”
With a shrug, you get to your feet and collect your pants and shirt. As aroused as you were, you wanted to see Applejack ask for it more. Besides, you were worn out. There’s no way you’d have been able to last a full session.
”Oh, no, you are not leavin’ me like this!”
She stumbles onto her legs and tries to tackle you, but her movements are sloppy and you easily dodge. When her lunge fails, she collapses again, panting. You calmly pull your pants back up and put on your shirt.
“You made your choice. See you at dinner.”
She’s able to sit up, looking at your with desperation in her eyes. ”I’m so hot, sugarcube. This isn’t funny any more!”
“Later!”
Waving back to her, you leave the barn. A whimper escapes her just as you close the door behind you.
As soon as the door closes, you turn around and put your ear up against it. Closing your eyes, you listen close for a hint of what AJ might be doing.
”Consarn it!” You hear the sound of a hoof striking the ground. ”Stupid human.”
Covering your mouth, you suppress a laugh. You then walk over to the left side of the barn, making your way toward the alternate entrance. Checking the door, you find it unlocked. Very carefully, you open the door and shut it behind you, not letting Applejack in on your presence.
You quietly remove your clothes as well, then tiptoe into the main area of the barn, where you left AJ. The hay is fairly silent as you step over it, though rough against your bare feet. By this point, the scent of AJ’s heat has completely overwhelmed the hay smell. You duck behind some feeding troughs, then peek over them and catch sight of AJ.
She’s still sitting down, moaning. Her front isn’t visible from where you’re hiding, but it looks like she’s trying to finish herself off with a hoof. You imagine it isn’t nearly as good as a hand could do, though.
Maintaining your stealth, you gradually make your way over to her. Typically, you’re not one for sneaking, but she’s lost to the world around her. You could probably play hopscotch behind her and she’d never notice. Once you’re in position, you wait. That mane is bouncing up and down, begging to be scratched and massaged, but you hold yourself back.
Her movements start quickening; her moans rise in pitch. It’s time.
Reaching over her shoulder, you grab the hoof she was masturbating with and pull it away. At the same time, you sit down directly behind her, crossing your legs in front of her and on top of her back legs, pinning her in place. She reacts instantly, spinning her head around to look at her ambusher. Her eyes reflect shock at first, then confusion.
”W-what’re you doin’ back here? Why’d you stop me?” Her voice is shaking.
“Shhh. I’ll take care of you.”
”You’re jus’ gonna tease me again!”
She takes her free hoof and starts rubbing herself again, desperate to climax. You don’t let her. With your other hand, you remove her hoof and she struggles against your grip.
”I need this! Please!”
“You’re going to beg now?”
”Yes! Please!” She pauses to pant. ”Let me cum! I-I can’t take it anymore!”
“Well, since you asked so nicely...”
You release the hoof in your right hand and lay it over her marehood. At first, all you do is cover it, feeling the heat coming off of it and letting her wetness coat your palm. Then you plunge into it with three fingers, curling them around like you’re beckoning someone over. With your thumb, you caress her winking clit.
Her muscles visibly tense up as her pleasure begins to build again. Short whimpers escape her mouth. She closes her eyes and leans her head back into your chest. You release her other hoof and it falls limp to her side; your workings have her helpless.
Applejack’s chest is rising and falling faster and faster. Your fingers shift between a massage of her upper walls and a slow rubbing when she responds with more intensity. With your thumb, you trace circles around her clit and occasionally pinch it gently.
AJ’s snatch is starting to tighten up on your fingers. She waves one of her free forehooves at the air and strikes the ground with the other. You start moving your fingers quicker and more vigorously—Applejack responds by thrusting into your hand.
”I can’t—I can’t...”
She throws her head up and screams to the sky. The yell rips through the barn, reverberating through your ears and carrying a the tone of a primal need. The walls of her sex have your fingers in a deathgrip as her cum flows over your hand. You continue to work her marehood, riding her through the orgasm. Every inch of her is tensed and flexed, revealing lines of corded muscles. Once her energy is expended, her entire body goes slack, hooves falling to her sides.
”Hun, that was incredible. I jus’—”
At first, she hadn’t realized you haven’t stopped thrusting your fingers into her. When the afterglow fades, however, she becomes very aware of it.
”Oh, Celestia, you’re still goin’?”
Her eyes go wide and she braces herself against you. You reply by kissing and nibbling at her neck.
She wraps a hoof around your neck, holding you close. Her eyes have closed again, she’s tensing in anticipation. Your fingers are now absolutely drenched in her juices, sliding around inside of her like butter. A mighty gasp comes from Applejack as she releases herself once again.
Her marehood is grasping your hand so tight you can hardly feel your fingers, but it’s worth it to hear her squeal in pleasure.
”Landsakes, you’re good with those fingers.”
You ignore her, continuing your work.
”Sugarcube, I don’t know if I can handle another!”
Her words say one thing, but she’s still thrusting into your hand and making no move to hinder you. You’re starting to sweat heavily now, though. Your hand is starting to ache and your arm is threatening to quit on you—so you work with purpose and ferocity.
You lay your other hand across her belly, rubbing her closer and closer to her flower. She grabs that hand with both hooves and presses it tighter onto her stomach. Something comes out of her mouth; an attempt at speaking, but she can’t say anything coherent. All you hear from her are moans now.
Your arm is protesting every stroke, but you need to drive Applejack to the edge. Both of you are heaving, straining for air. Before long, her marehood is squeezing you again and just as you think she’s about to cum, you remove your hand.
She reaches out with her hooves, trying to grab your arm and bring it back into her heat, but you put it behind your back where she can’t get to it.
”Not again! You can’t do this!” she squeals.
“I’m not.”
You pick her up by her sides and lay her down on her back. Now that she’s changed positions, you can get a good look at her face. Her eyes are stuck open, gaping at you. Sweat is dripping down all over and her tongue is lolling out of her mouth. You allow yourself a brief smile at your work, but you’re not done yet. Not wanting to let AJ down from her high, you take only a quick break to stretch your hands and arms.
You grasp her flanks, kneading and massaging them with care. With a quick look into Applejack’s eyes, you dive into her snatch again: this time with your tongue. The moment it touches her flower, she instinctively wraps her rear legs around your head, pulling you in further. You don’t complain.
Her sweet sex invites your tongue in. You plumb as far as you can, then curl your tongue upward and retract it. Every time you repeat this motion, Applejack tenses. You also brush your front teeth against her clit, causing a wave of movement from her lower body. She’s repeating something, though you can’t make out what it is; her speech is slurred.
It doesn’t take long for your ministrations to bring AJ to the edge again. Just as she climaxes, she wraps her tail around your head and squeezes. Even as her cum flows from her heat once again, you don’t slow down. You continue to massage her flank and thighs with your hands and thrust your tongue in and out with purpose. She doesn’t comment on your actions; she simply presses your face further into her folds. Her forehooves push against the back of your head as well.
Not content with just repeating the same motions, you angle your head in an effort to stimulate different areas. You also remove a hand from her flank and hook a finger inside her marehood, just below your tongue and alternate thrusts. When your finger is fully inside of her, you retract your tongue, and when your tongue is deep, you trace the outside of her folds with the finger.
As time passes, Applejack clutches your head harder and harder with all four hooves and tail. Before you let her orgasm, however, you swap hands, now grasping her thigh with the one that had been in her flower, and moving the opposite hand down south. AJ has other plans for that hand, though.
She grabs it with her forehooves and moves it to her mouth where she starts sucking on it. You can feel her tongue lazily lapping up her wetness and exploring the grooves and shape of your fingers. While her pleasure builds, her mouth starts to clamp down harder. She curls her lips in to avoid biting you. A vibration runs through your hand as she moans into it.
Her marehood is starting to tighten further, so you make the most of the time you have by increasing your pace and diving as deep as your finger and tongue will allow. But you don’t thrust mindlessly: you keep stimulating her most sensitive spots. With a yell, Applejack strains herself one last time. You can hear the wanton pleasure build to bursting and ride her voice into the air. Her legs squeeze your head so tightly you can’t even breathe. The fourth climax roars through her body like a tsunami crashing against the shore, sending every fiber of her being to a peak.
Then she goes completely limp. Her back legs drop to the ground and her tails releases your head. The mouth that had been nearly biting on your hand now just lays sprawled open. You get back up on your knees and see her chest heaving up and down. There’s a small puddle of her juices darkening the barn floor.
Her hat lays forgotten to the side. You get up and grab it, then put it back where it belongs and kiss Applejack on her freckles. “You okay, AJ?”
She manages to roll her head to the side and looks at you through glazed eyes. ”Twig-legs, I ain’t ever been this ‘okay’ in my life.”
“Good, cause I don’t have the energy to do that again.”
You both giggle at that. After a quick stretch, you go back to collect your clothes and put your pants on. You use your shirt to wipe yourself off... don’t want Big Mac catching you with AJ all over your face and hands.
As you pass Applejack, still panting and lying in the puddle of her cum, you wave. “See you at dinner.”
She acknowledges your statement by lifting a foreleg then letting it fall back to the ground.
Dinner comes around before long. You help Granny in the kitchen along with Apple Bloom. As everyone sits down at the table, you notice Applejack having a hard time walking over to her seat, almost like she hasn’t learned how to use her legs correctly.
You smile inwardly at that.
Supper is a filling feast. Granny discusses this year’s harvest with Applejack and Big Mac. Apple Bloom talks about school and cutie marks. While you and AJ were rolling in the hay, Apple Bloom was flying kites with her friends. You wonder what one would do with that as their special talent. Seems kind of monotonous to you, but Apple Bloom didn’t find her calling there.
Applejack, you notice, is a little apprehensive about talking to her little sister. You have an inkling as to why. You’ll have to talk to her about that later. Right now, though, you mention Rainbow’s visit and offer. AJ is enthusiastic about it and agrees to go right away.
As dinner winds down, you realize how at home you feel here. Everyone treats you like part of the family... except Applejack, of course. They don’t expect anything special out of you because you’re human; you have to contribute like everypony else. At the same time, you also get a seat at the table. While the seat technically is a little larger than the others. it doesn’t feel any different.
You pick up your dishes and bring them over to Granny, who is cleaning them. The rest of the family have since left the dinner table for other things. Smiling, you decide that accepting that offer from Applejack was the best decision you’d ever made.
The mistakes you left on Earth seem like actions of someone else, now.
”Hey, sonny.”
You look over to Granny. “Yes?”
”If you’re gonna fuck my granddaughter in the barn, at least be quiet about it.”
You blush brighter than the sun.
Well, how about that.
Your Eyes Swallow Everything They Touch
A knocking rings through your ears. Your eyes stay shut.
“C’mon, Fluttershy, this is important!”
Again, knocking. Your back protests the position you’re in, but you have no strength to adjust yourself.
There is a creak, followed shortly by a gasp.
“Somethings wrong with this fella. I didn’t know what kinda animal it was, so I brought it over. I figured you’d know more ‘bout it. It hasn’t moved since Rainbow beat the tar outta it.”
“Hey!” A second voice joins the conversation. “I thought it was coming after you, AJ!”
“Maybe you oughta think before acting next time, Dash!”
A third voice, more timid than the others, speaks up. “Um, could you two, maybe, not here..?”
“Sorry, Fluttershy.”
“Yeah, sorry.”
There’s a couple pokes at your side. You hear the fluttering of wings a feel a breath moving up and down you body. Someone—or something—is inspecting you.
“Is it... wearing clothes?” the timid one asks.
The thick country-scented voice, apparently ‘AJ’, answers her. “I don’t get it either. You think it’s, well, civilized?”
“That would make sense.”
Something soft and gentle touches your belly. It tickles, but you don’t laugh. Instead, your stomach replies with a growl.
The presence on your belly withdraws. “Oh, my.”
“What is it?”
“I think... I think it’s hungry.”
“Hey!”
You raise your head with a start. Looking over to the source of the voice, you see Applejack staring at you, half annoyed and half concerned.
“It’s almost noon! You comin’ to the lake with me, right?”
“Yeah, yeah. Just dozed off.” You shake your head to clear the drowsiness. This wasn’t like you, but there’s no need to give AJ a scare. Standing up, you flash her a smile. “Let’s get going.”
The two of you walk to the door and you hold it open. AJ tips her hat to you as she steps outside and you follow shortly after. The light of the noonday sun bears down on you, reminding you of one of the reasons why you liked swimming so much. Most of the humidity has cleared and the air is filled with the smell of the orchard. You pull in a deep breath of fresh air, feeling it caress your tongue with the sweet scent of apples and earth. The last of your lethargy leaves you, though you still feel the sting of Equestria’s eccentricity. A great excuse for a swim.
Applejack and you have been walking for a short while, but you notice she hasn’t said anything while you’ve been reveling in the scenery. Perhaps she is doing the same, or maybe she has other things on her mind. Her attention is locked on your path, a razor gaze in her eyes. You’ve seen it before, though her eyes were a bit redder last time...
“Hey.”
“Don’ wanna hear it.” She never shifts her attention to you.
Her reply surprises you. “Know what I’m going to say already?”
“Yeah, I do. And I know why you want to talk to me about it, but I’d rather not discuss it now. Today’s supposed to be relaxing, ain’t it? So let it be relaxing, save the talkin’ for tomorrow.”
“You forget, fair Applejack, I know you as well. You’ll just find ways to put this off until you’ve constructed some well thought-out response that has no sincerity behind it about why you’ve been avoiding talking with Apple Bloom as much as you normally do.”
She huffs. “Jus’ cause I don’t talk with her as much don’t mean I still ain’t lookin’ out for her.”
You put a hand on her shoulder and stop her. “Hey! Do you even realize what you just said?”
Her eyes narrow at you. “Yeah, I just said I still love my sis’, and avoiding her a little to keep my act together ain’t a bad thing!”
“You know, for being the Element of Honesty, you sure know how to twist the truth around.”
She leans inward and heaves a threatening breath. “What are you implyin’?”
Poking her chest with a finger, you reply, “You didn’t say, ‘I’m avoiding her for her sake.’ You said, ‘Just because I’m not a good sister doesn’t mean I’m a bad one.’ That does not sound like the Applejack I know.”
“I’m tryin’, okay!” She turns away and starts pacing. “Whaddya want me to do, tell Apple Bloom her sister is havin’ a crisis and start bawling in front of her? She’d lose all respect for me!”
Sitting down, you follow AJ’s pacing with your eyes. “I want you to talk with her. That’s all.”
“We talk plenty.”
“Not about the right things.”
Her pacing stops and she glares at you. She’s stomps a hoof in confrontation. “Well what in Equestria are ‘the right things’? Are there rules on conversations, now?”
“You’ve created some great image of yourself that you feel like you have to project to Apple Bloom; a strong, nearly invincible paragon of everything a pony could be, somepony that can protect her from anything and everything, somepony that never falters, even for a moment. That’s. Not. You.” You jab your finger at her, emphasizing each word.
AJ shirks back, wincing at your words. “You think I’m weak? That I can’t protect her?”
You shake your head vehemently. “No! That’s not it at all! I’m saying you can’t be perfect. Nopony is! But you’re trying so hard to be perfect for her that when you see your flaws you can’t handle it. As much as we all try, we will make mistakes. Lord knows I have.” AJ’s eyes follow you as you get up and walk over to her. With a tender gaze and a hand on her head, you continue. “Don’t be what you think her sister should be, just be her sister.”
Her eyes drop to the ground and her tail follows shortly after. “Apple Bloom deserves better than what I am. She deserves what I could be.”
You hook a finger under her chin and lift it back up so she’s looking into your eyes. “And with that statement, you’ve proven you’re exactly what she needs.”
She frees her chin from your grasp and once again looks away. “I just—I dunno.”
Smiling, you turn in the direction Applejack is now looking. “One week after you met me, you said something. It was a few days after I had moved in with Twilight. We were at the same lake we’re heading to right now. You remember what you said?”
“I-I’m not sure. Nothin’ in particular.”
“Well, I sure remember. It really stuck out to me. It’s one of the reasons why I came to work for you in the first place. I was having a hard time adjusting to this place and starting to accept I might not make it back home.”
“You were talkin’ ‘bout your friends back on Earth, weren’t cha?”
“About how much I missed them. About how I abandoned them.”
Applejack raises her head. “Yeah, I think I remember now.”
“‘You can’t put all that weight on your shoulders—’”
“‘—because they want to carry it, too.’”
You turn to AJ and she meets your gaze out of the corner of her eye. “Mmm-hmm. So, are you willing to put that weight aside? To accept you can’t do everything?”
Her hoof plays with the dirt a bit before she answers. “I still don’t wanna, but I think... I think I can try.”
You pull her over, embracing her tightly. “We all gotta carry that weight. Just don’t forget it’s not yours alone.”
She nods and you release her, ruffling her hat. With a growl, she ducks out from under your hand. “Stop that.”
Perhaps you’d have taken her seriously if you didn’t see a little grin flash across her face. You reach over, once again going for her hat, and again she dodges.
“I’m serious, now!” That grin has grown.
“Then why are you smiling?” Seeing her get defensive, you can’t help but smirk.
“Cause you’re tryin’ to mess with my head!” Lunging, you take another swipe at her head, but she deftly avoids you. “Literally!”
With a laugh, you start chasing her and she takes off toward the lake, shouting obscenities back at you.
The grin never fades.
You and Applejack have been lounging around at the lake for a few minutes when noon brings Rainbow Dash and Twilight to the outskirts of the lake. Rainbow looks pretty pumped; she’s got her headband on and is throwing punches at the air in front of her. Twilight seems to be trying to talk her down, or at least explain something. Doesn’t look like Twilight’s having much luck.
The two make their way over to you and AJ and you all exchange greetings. Rainbow doesn’t say anything to you, she simply offers her hoof and you grasp it and give it a firm shake. Her grip returns your iron shake in kind. Confidence is oozing out of her; her chest is puffed up, her gaze as sharp as any knife blade.
After the greeting, she hovers over to the side of the lake and starts stretching. Her motions reveal lines of corded muscles, a broad, study back, and flexible legs—legs she plans on using to leave you in the dust.
“Huh, that’s odd,” says Applejack. “I expected her to say somethin’.”
“Oh, I heard something. Respect.” You give your arms a good stretch before taking off your shirt. Shaking off your tension, you turn to Twilight. “So, what brings you down here? Rainbow drag you into this little competition?”
Twilight blinked. “Well, kinda. I’m the impartial judge. Rainbow said she wanted somepony else to watch her beat you, ‘cause AJ will just play it down,’ she said.”
Applejack was stuck between being offended and getting angry. You just laughed and headed down to the lakeside next to Rainbow, leaving Applejack and Twilight to watch you from the shade of a tree.
Your shorts come off, and you start stretching alongside your opponent. Rainbow does her best to ignore you, getting more immersed in her own limbering routine. She was very good at the mental game, you gave her that... but so were you.
“So, do ponies have any special swim strokes besides the ‘flail and hope I go somewhere’?”
Nothing.
“You should know, this isn’t the first time I’ve been around water. Years of swim practice. I even competed on my school’s swim team.”
Unfazed.
You lean in, the breath of your words now grazing Rainbow’s coat. “I heard pegasus wings have some very sensitive spots.”
She jerks away and glares at you, but that glare very quickly turns into a gape as she tears her eyes from you.
Raising an eyebrow at her, you mentally question her reaction. Is she... intimidated by your body? You look down at yourself, uncovered except for your underwear. Working at the farm had been kind to you; your arms were practically bulging, your abs were well-defined and your legs—well, you no longer think Applejack’s nickname ‘Twig-legs’ applies.
“It’s okay to feel threatened by my physique, Dash. I know I would be.”
*pomf*
Rainbow’s wings stiffen with a sound not unlike a pillow striking the ground. Noticing her display, Rainbow quickly grabs her wings and attempts to force them back down, but the feathery appendages refuse to comply. You saw sweat starting to drip down her face, but what’s more interesting to you is the red tint in her cheeks. When she notices your inspecting of her, she immediately leaps toward the lake, entering it with a splash and spraying you with the cool water. Good thing you’d already taken most of your clothes off.
After dithering for several seconds underwater, she breaks the surface with a gasp, shaking the excess water from her mane. Whatever drove her to dive in was gone, replaced with an all-too-familiar confident smile.
“Gonna take more than that to get to this mare, buddy.”
“Heh, like I need to. My skills will speak for themselves when you find yourself with a great view of my feet.” You reach down and whisk off your underwear.
Now, back when you’d first come to Equestria, lack of clothes had been a serious concern. What you had on you was roughed up by your wandering through the wilderness before stumbling upon Ponyville, and later destroyed by Fluttershy’s animals after she’d disrobed you. It was an accident, of course, and she’d apologized for it a hundred times over, but it still left you naked. You ran around everywhere with a face redder than hot coals, but necessity demanded you lose your sense of modesty in a world where such a thing hardly existed—or die trying.
On your first trip through town naked, you thought you just might.
So losing your drawers in front of three mares, one of which you were having sex with, didn’t phase you in the slightest.
“Tally ho!” You cry as you leap into the air, curling up into a cannonball.
The water shatters underneath you, greeting you with a chilly wall of wet. The roar of the impact fills your ears for only a moment before you’re deafened, completely submerged in the azure sea. Once you get your bearings, you break out of your cannonball posture and swim toward the surface, piercing through it head-first. You shake your head much like Rainbow did, smiling at her when your vision clears. She returns your smile with a smirk, pulling one of her forelegs back.
“Got something on your face!” she hollers as she throws a swift wave of water at you. You turn away, closing your eyes as the water hits you.
Wrong battle to pick, Dash. Swinging your arms wide as if you’re going to give a hug, you hurl a torrent of water at the small cyan pony, who barely dodges it by dipping underwater. When she comes back up, there’s a pouty frown on her face.
“You and your armspread.”
You throw your head back and laugh. “You started it.”
She rolls her eyes and start swimming around you on her back. “So, we gonna do this or what?”
“You bet. Where is the finish line?”
Rainbow leaps out of the water for a moment, hovering above the surface while searching for a suitable starting line. When she’s unable to find something, she yells over to Twilight, “Hey, egghead!”
Twilight perks up, turning an ear to Rainbow.
“Can you magic up some kind of finish line?”
With a nod, Twilight’s horn starts to glow, creating a wall of purple light near the far edge of the lake. You estimate it’s about a hundred and fifty meters away. Yelling a thanks to Twilight, Rainbow ducks back into the water then turns to you.
“Twilight’s gonna give the signal. Ready to be put in your place?”
You playfully nudge your opponent. “Ain’t gonna happen, filly.”
Both of you take your positions and Rainbow nods to Twilight. You take the moment to regulate your breathing, keeping your heart from bursting from your chest. The race hadn’t even started; no reason to burn yourself out just yet. Your focus hones in on Twilight, waiting for the signal. Rainbow was fast, but you could beat her, you knew you could. Ponies weren’t made for swimming. This was your moment. Maybe she could run faster and longer, maybe she could fly, but you had her today. Just have to—
A brilliant spark erupts from Twilight’s horn and you instantly break into a freestyle stroke. Every muscle strains and flexes in time enough for only a single thought. You hear a roar of displaced water next to you, but you’re too focused on your own technique to pay attention to Rainbow’s. This isn’t your first swim; your movements are smooth and deliberate. Your head never leaves the water completely, your arms and legs move in exact patterns, pushing against the water with each repetition. There’s not an inch of you that doesn’t burn with purpose and tension.
Each time you turn your head for air, you check for Rainbow. And each time, she’s still there, right by your side. Not behind, but not leading you, either. You scrunch your face and dig deeper into your well of stamina, surging forward. The world soars by you even faster; there’s no time to pay attention to your competitor any more. Only two things exist: you, and the ominous purple glow ahead.
Out in the middle of the lake, however, you can’t tell how far it is.
You steam forward, demanding more and more from your body, taking every ounce of speed it can offer and then some. Your breathing is labored now, but you can feel the purple light coming closer. It was not acceptable to quit now. Your body screams in protest; you were never a distance swimmer. All you had to rely on now was your perseverance and will.
And your will was to win.
With one last explosion of vigor, you burn through the last of your reserves and surge forward, breaking through the purple barrier. As soon as you’re through, you raise your head and turn around, looking for Rainbow—finding her a half body length behind you. Rainbow lifts her head just as you did, but when she sees nothing behind her, she slowly turns around.
Dread was painted clear on her face. In the distance you can hear Twilight and Applejack cheering, declaring the winner to be you. As recognition washes over Rainbow, the dread turns anger—but only for the tiniest of seconds. If you weren’t looking straight at her face, you never would have seen it. The anger gives way to a more stoic visage adorned with a tiny smile, one beaming of pride. Rainbow offers you a hoof and you take it.
The gesture reminds you a lot of the one she offered only a few minutes ago when she first came to the lake. It speaks to your friendship, telling both you that nothing had changed. You never worried they would.
Through your heavy breaths, you say, “Good race, Rainbow. I wasn’t expecting you to keep up, given that ponies aren’t the best swimmers.”
She nods. “I actually had to practice for this. Learned how to use my wings while swimming.”
Ah, that explains it.
“You up for another? There’s no way I can leave this on a loss.”
You start to laugh, but your laughter is drowned out by coughs. Rainbow puts a hoof on your shoulder, concerned, but you wave her off. “I don’t have anywhere near your stamina. That wore me out. I think I’ll partake in the shade AJ and Twilight are sitting in.”
She shrugs. “Suit yourself. I think I’ll see if AJ wants a swim.” With a salute, she hops out of the water, intending to fly over to your friends. Before she takes off, however, you stop her.
“Hey.”
Her head turns to face you. “Yeah?”
“How do you do that? Just shrug it off?”
“What, losing?”
You nod. “Yeah.”
She looks up and away from you, considering the question. “Practice.”
You can’t help but tread water, speechless, as she flies off. For the first time, Rainbow Dash has actually admitted to losing. Granted, everyone knows she isn’t perfect, but she never speaks of her lesser moments. You feel... flattered. You don’t even know if she talked with Applejack about it.
After getting out of the lake and drying off, you throw your clothes back on and head to the shade to sit beside Twilight. AJ and Rainbow had passed you heading the opposite way (“Last pony in’s a skeethin’ varmit!”) so it was just you and the bookworm. Which, speaking of, she actually has a book with her right now. You greet her with a wave; she returns the greeting with a smile of her own, then returns to her reading. Perhaps you had preferred a conversation, but you’re still exhausted from the swim so you revel in the silence, instead.
You lift an arm in front of you, closing your eyes and feeling the summer air run over your wet skin, drying off the last of the lake water. Goosebumps rush up and down your arm, giving you shivers that compel you to squirm where you sit. For a while, you watch AJ and Rainbow play in the lake, splashing each other and swimming back and forth. You imagine Rainbow was trying to get AJ to race her too. It made you a little envious, seeing your friend and your special somepony interact so naturally. They had a wealth of history you could only imagine. There was something between two people—well, ponies—with that kind of past; something unique, something irreplaceable.
And here you were, the human without a home. The only one of your kind.
You were thankful for Twilight’s presence, even if she chose not to speak. It held the strange aura of this land’s wilderness away.
She changed her mind about her silence, though.
“You know, I’m a bit surprised Applejack was so open to a relationship with you.”
If you had had something in your mouth, you would have done a spit-take. Instead, you just spin to Twilight and gape.
She takes your expression as a request to explain her comment. “Well, she is a very traditional pony. Her entire family is. I didn’t expect her to be so welcoming to somepony that isn’t, well, a pony.”
You bring up your hands as if offering something. “How did you even know about us?”
Her ears shoot up and her eyes fly wide open. “Oh, no, was I not supposed to know? I’m so sorry!”
With a wave, you dismiss her concern. “No, Twilight, it’s fine. I’m just surprised you know. Not many ponies do. Well, not many ponies did.”
“Heh, Rainbow told me about it on the way over.”
You smack your face. “Rainbow? Am I that transparent? We talked for all of one minute yesterday.”
Twilight turned away and blushed. “Well, she never said who she heard it from or if she figured it out herself.”
Shrugging, you lean back up against the tree. “No use crying over spilt milk, I guess. So... what was your reaction?”
“To the news?”
“Yeah.”
“Um...” She sets the book aside and starts fumbling with her hooves. “I didn’t really know what to think, at first. My mind kinda went blank. I mean, I know you’re a great pony—er, person—and I suppose I trust Applejack, but I guess I just didn’t expect it. Though, now that I think about it,” her blush returns, “it would be a good chance to study human relationship culture first-hoof.”
You can’t help but chuckle at Twilight’s reaction. Definite misalignment of priorities between you two. “Welp, here’s hoping I can provide you with study materials for a long time to come.”
“Oh, you’re that serious already? I guess I’ve missed on a lot.”
“You could say that.”
For the rest of the afternoon, Twilight and you share small talk beneath the shelter of the lone lakeside tree. Broaching the subject of your relationship seemed to break down whatever barrier kept her silent before, for now she couldn’t seem to talk fast enough. At first, it was all questions about the relationship, but she backed off soon enough. You couldn’t tell whether it was because she ran out of things to ask, or she didn’t want the conversation to turn into an interrogation.
Rainbow and Applejack trot up to the two of you, dripping with water and smiles. AJ ran up to you and gave your a sopping wet hug. You embraced her back, but when she released you, you shook your arms dry and looked with disdain at your now drenched clothing.
The two troublemakers burst out laughing.
“I told you the look would be priceless!” said Rainbow through her laughter.
“Oh, yeah. Totally worth it!” her accomplice confirmed.
You couldn’t help but be a little caught up with their mood. Their merriment was truly infectious. You played your part, though. “Oh, ha ha. Hilarious. Can we go back now so I can get into some dry clothes?”
Applejack approaches you, still giggling a bit. “Alright, I admit I’m plum tuckered. We best be callin’ it a day.” She sends a smirk back to Rainbow. “Don’t think I could spend another moment with this mare.”
“Oh, c’mon, I won fair and square!”
“Uh-huh. Sure. Next thing you’re gonna tell me you can bring the dead back to life an’ make ‘em dance a little jig.”
Twilight butts in. “Well, technically, it has happened before...”
Rainbow and Applejack look at Twilight, then at each other, then shake their heads and sigh.
Pouting, Twilight says, “What? It’s true!”
Applejack waves to Rainbow and Twilight, then turns around and starts walking back to the orchard. You mimic her actions and follow, listening to Twilight’s protests as the two of you head out on your journey back home
“So, the cat’s outta the bag.”
Applejack turns to you. “Huh?”
The fading sun bounces off of her drying coat with a fine sheen. The deep emerald seas of her eyes and the white spots outlining her cheeks look back at you. There’s an element of worry in that face, but it’s drowned out in curiosity. You’re just close enough to the orchard that you can sample the scent of apples in the breeze. A dust cloud rides the wind in front of you, curling in a wisp before dissipating.
The walk has given you a good chance to stretch your legs, though they’re still a bit sore. Goodness knows how Applejack was able to keep up with Rainbow through most of the afternoon.
“Rainbow knew about us and even told Twilight. Who knows how many ponies she’s told by now.”
The news hits her like a pillow. “Well how about that. S’ppose that makes breakin’ the news easier.” She turns back to the path.
“Huh. I kind of expected you to take it a little differently.”
“Wha’s that s’pposed to mean?”
You reply with a shrug. “You’re dating some alien from another world. I know I still get stares when I go into town. Aren’t you worried about how you’ll be treated?”
Your response is met with a snort. “Pfft. Apples are strong, lil’ human. Gonna take more than some funny looks to get one down.”
“And your family?”
“Now that one...” She puts a hoof to her chin briefly. “Granny might be a touch upset, Big Mac’ll probably try to buck your face in, and Apple Bloom would likely get real excited and tease us about it till’ she’s blue in the face.”
You can’t help but crack a smile at her response. She had no idea how right she was about the first two. “Well, Granny did have something to say about it.”
“She did?” Applejack raises an eyebrow at you. “How’d she know?”
“Something about ‘don’t fuck a screamer in the barn.’”
Your lover’s face matched the shade of a red delicious. “Heh. She heard that, did she?”
“Her and half the town.”
“You know,” said AJ, waving a hoof at you, “why don’t we change the subject? Let’s talk about you for a change. Like where’d you learn to please a mare? Or, whatever you call female where you come from.”
A knot curls up in your throat. You tug at the collar of your still-damp shirt in an effort to clear the knot. “Eh, just a little bit of experience. The place I’m called is from Earth, and we call females ‘women’.”
“Experience, huh?” Applejack nudges you with her flank. “Go on.”
“Really, it’s not any sort of story.” Sweat begins to drip from your forehead and you can feel heat rising within you. “I had a girlfriend before I came here.” You gulp. “Can we, uh, change the subject?”
“Woah, there, son.” Applejack steps in front of you and stops. “You know plenty ‘bout me, but you’ve been holed up like a turtle scared to death of leaving its shell. I think it’s time to share a bit.” Her glare told you that, in no uncertain terms, you’d bean spilling the beans.
Something you had absolutely no interest in doing.
“Look, I had a girlfriend back on Earth. We had sex and I really don’t want to talk about it any more.”
“What was her name? Couldn’t hurt to tell me her name.” Applejack’s tone had backed off, if only a touch.
With a defeated sigh, you relent the information. “Alice. Her name was Alice.”
You look deep into Applejack’s eyes, thinking back to the times you fought so hard to bury. It was ten years ago, it was yesterday, it would be tomorrow. It’s always and everywhere.
“She was a city girl, unlike you. One year older than myself, same height but with a punch that could knock you out cold if she wanted. Unrelenting. Absolutely unrelenting. Her eyes were like still water; a pure blue that you could drown in if you stared too long. Her hair was blonde as wheat and strong as steel. When she walked, you might think she was strutting, defying the world for whatever it did to her, but I never saw it that way. I thought it was unbridled confidence with just a touch of vitriol.
“She hated the city, though she could never get away from it. We spent so many days in the wilderness: hiking, camping, fishing... anything, really. She revelled in competition, but never sought it out. That always threw me for a loop. If you asked her what her favorite sport was on a Wednesday, she’d change her answer on Thursday. Her greatest ambition, she always told me, was to live. Simple, yet so difficult. It’s such a pity...”
Without realizing it, you had curled your hands into fists. Your fingernails dug into your palms so tightly you may have drawn blood. Applejack’s eyes fought to keep yours, but the sunset won out. There was still something you owed it.
“What am I talking about her so much for? You probably don’t care. She’s ancient history now, in a world you’ve never known. No, I think that she’s best left there. Sorry for going on about it.” Sidestepping Applejack, you forge down the path, picking up your pace. AJ protests, but it’s hard to hear over the sound of your own thoughts.
You expected to hear the gait of a gallop storming behind you, but the sound didn’t come. The path was dipped in solitude with only a human to keep it company. And so your trek is yours alone... until you come across another pony walking the opposite direction into town. To your surprise, he was familiar. The dark coat stuck out in your memory.
It was the stallion you’d seen yesterday morning.
When your eyes met, you were first greeted with surprise, then curiosity. The last thing you wanted right now.
“Oh-ho! You’re the new guy, are you not? Yes, I do think your body gives you away. What is it you’re called again?”
You grumble your name, and attempt to walk past him, but he jumps in your way.
“Just one moment, a single question, if you please.”
No, I do not please. It would be easier to let him ask, though. “Fine.”
“Do you actually feel like you’re here? No out-of-body experiences, oddities with the world around you?”
You face twists into a mixture of confusion and disgust. “I’m fine. Just fine, nothing weird. Can I go now?”
His visages scrunches up into a half-frown. “You sure?”
“That’s two questions.” You blow past him, almost knocking him over.
From his tone, he doesn’t seem to care. “Pleasure to meet you!” he shouts at your back as you storm off.
The pleasure is all yours.
The world is dark, the sun has set, and the brilliant moon is in view.
You stick your hands in your robe pockets as you gaze listfully at the heavens. Thoughts run in and out of your head like light through glass. The sky seeks to swallow your doubts and you’d like to let it... but something holds you back, holds you within yourself. These pains were necessary. Your past is part of you, and you like who you are. You never want to let that go.
Nopony had ever said whether ponies talk to the princesses for comfort. You wondered if Luna was listening right now, or if she was simply sitting upon the throne, attending throes of nobles and petty requests. At least, that’s how you pictured politics here. You didn’t really know how things went.
It felt wondrous to see the sky lit up and full. Such a sight was impossible in the city where you used to live, but when you went into the wilderness with Alice, you’d see the infinite sea of white speckles in all its beauty.
Your head sunk at the thought, but you didn’t cry. There were no more tears for her. They’d dried up long ago—her memories wandered a desert now.
A knock rings throughout your bedroom.
Turning to the door, you sigh. This was coming, you knew that much, but that didn’t mean you had been looking forward to it. Removing your hands from the wall, you shuffle over to the door and crack it open.
It’s Applejack. Her visage is tender, like she’s worried she could wound you with a stare.
“Can I come in?”
You say nothing, only nodding and opening the door just wide enough for her to enter. She walks all the way to your bed and turns to you as you close the door behind her.
“I just want you to know—”
You cut her off. “Don’t you dare apologize for my behaviour.”
A shallow snort escapes her mouth and her eyes narrow. “I pressed you on somethin’ you clearly didn’t want pressed! I shoulda known better.”
“And how was I any different?” You step over to AJ, leaning over her. “This morning, I did the same thing to you about Apple Bloom. I did it because I wanted to help, and when you offered the same help to me I threw it in your face.”
She straightens her stance, bringing her nose within inches of your own. “We ain’t the same pony. I didn’t respect your barriers.”
You knew that tone; you’d heard it a hundred times before. “Your intentions were pure. Don’t think you can win this by digging in like you always do. I messed up.”
Her glare thins to a sliver; you can hardly see the green in her eyes. Scrunching her mouth into a tiny frown, one you would have called cute under any other circumstance, she plops her rear on the floor. “Why don’t we see about that?”
Your frustration expels in a heavy breath. You reach down, trying to get Applejack to budge, but with little luck. “This isn’t fair, AJ!”
“Few things are, hun. Now are you gonna accept my apology or not?”
With a scoff, you tear away from her and start pacing the room. She was right, of course she was right. But did you really have to give in just because she was being stubborn about it?
Stupid question.
“Fine. I accept your pointless apology.”
She stands back up and gives you a nod you could almost call haughty. “I’m glad you could see sense.”
“Yeah, yeah.” You walk over to your bed and lie down. “I’m tired. Close the door behind you when you leave.”
Instead of hearing the sound of hooves on wood and the creak of your bedroom door, your bed is disrupted by the sudden addition of a new weight. Applejack walks to the head of the bed and lies down next to you, resting her head on your shoulder. You can feel her stetson scrape up against the hairs on your exposed neck.
“I feel like sleeping here tonight.”
The bed was big enough for the two of you; it had been made to fit you and then some. However, you were not expecting AJ to want to sleep with you so soon, and who knows what would happen if Big Mac walked in to find his sister in your bed.
“I’m not so sure about that, AJ.”
“Well, I am. You just waded through a tartarus of memories ‘cause I asked you too, and now you ain’t feelin’ so chipper. That means I’m stayin’. No reason for you to be alone tonight.” She dips her head and offers a dare with a look. “Unless you think you can remove me?”
The two of you share a gaze for a moment before you concede. You pluck her hat from her head, kiss her mane, then pat the hat back on. “Thanks.”
“Thanks? Don’t thank me, Twig-Legs. I’m expecting some mind-blowing ruttin’ tomorra for this.” She turns away and drops the stetson over her eyes, smiling like a mouse that just got away with stealing cheese.
Her smile puts one on your own mouth and you lie down, scooting up next to Applejack. Releasing all of your tension on a drawn-out exhale, you close your eyes and prepare to lose yourself to the embrace of sleep.
But there’s another knock on the door.
Applejack and you exchange glances. You just shrug and get up, walking over to the door. Whoever it is, you probably don’t want them knowing AJ is sleeping here just yet. You grasp the doorknob with a sweaty palm and open the door just enough to fit your head through.
The late-night visitor is Apple Bloom.
“Heya! I saw you looked kinda down earlier, so I made this for you!” The filly reaches behind her and presents you with a crude drawing, littered with excessive amounts of glue and glitter. It looks like three different ponies, you suspect the Cutie Mark Crusaders, holding up a stick figure version of yourself. Your doppelganger is sporting an exaggerated frown. “I hope I didn’t wake you up.”
You feel your heart turn to mush as you adore the atrocious art. “No, no, I was awake.” Lowering the paper, you give Apple Bloom a smile straight from your soul. “Thank you. It’s wonderful.”
She’s absolutely beaming. “Sis says you should always try to cheer ponies up when they’re feeling down.”
“Oh, really?” You raise your voice a touch. “Does she say anything else about helping sad ponies?”
“You should always be very understanding, ‘cause while their problems might not seem big to you, they are big to them.” Pride gushes from her words.
“Well, your sister sounds very smart. You’re lucky to have her.”
“Oh, I know! She’s the best sister in all of Equestria! Even Sweetie Belle’s jealous of her.”
“Best in all of Equestria, huh? Wouldn’t change a thing about her?”
Apple Bloom eyes you suspiciously. “Change? But then she wouldn’t be the best.”
“And why is that?”
“‘Cause she wouldn’t be her.”
A weak sniffle echoes throughout the room and leaks into the hallway. Apple Bloom’s ears perk up.
“What was that?”
You dismiss her concern with a smile. “That’s just a leaky faucet. I can fix it.”
“You shoulda told Big Mac your faucet was leakin’! He woulda fixed it right up!”
Patting Apple Bloom on the head, you retreat back into your room with the drawing. “I’ll do that next time. Good night, Apple Bloom.”
“Good night!” You watch her bounce down the hallway to her room and close the door, then turn to the leaky faucet. She’s dripping from two different places, making a mess of her pillow. The leaks are inflamed and puffy, attended to by an orange hoof. You walk over to the bed and lie down next to your faucet, wrapping your arm around her and holding her close.
She squeaks out a simple protest. “That wasn’t fair.”
“Few things are, hun.”
Your Confidence Would Shatter a Monsoon
The ocean stretches out before you. You’re standing on railroad tracks suspended well above the water on a concrete bridge held up by arches and pillars. The air is thick with salt to the point it stings your eyes. Water crashes against the pillars beneath you, but the splashes do not reach you.
It’s green.
The roaring, relentless ocean is absolutely green. You’ve never seen the ocean, not like this one. You crouch down, grasping the rough edge of the concrete in your hands. Trying hard not to blink, you gaze diligently at the emerald waves as they break and build. You don’t know why they’re so fascinating. It doesn’t even occur to you to ask how this was built, or why. Such things don’t seem important.
A train is coming.
A harrowing whistle shatters the air, holding long and true. It’s a brutal note to hear.
A train that will take you far away.
You get to your feet, looking down the tracks. They stretch forever as far as you can see, but there is no steam, no iron beast bearing down on you.
You know where you hope this train will take you, but you’re not sure.
The whistle rings out again, closer this time. Despite your searchings, however, you still see nothing. Your heart begins to race.
But it doesn’t matter. Do you know why?
You pick a direction and start running. Maybe it’s away from the whistle; you can’t know for sure. You think it is. Running into the harsh, salty air makes you blink. But you can’t let it slow you. The noise of the concrete scraping the soles of your shoes grows louder, more urgent as your pace quickens. There’s still no train in sight.
I don’t know why! How could I?
It’s not a whistle any more, it’s a screech: an unearthly, guttural scream. You turn around; the train is close, impossibly close. It’s tearing down the tracks, gaining on you. You’re running as fast as your legs will take you, but it’s still not enough. It was never going to be enough. You let loose a scream of your own, hoping to match the train’s, but it’s only drowned out. There’s no room to dodge the train and stay on the bridge.
It’s going to hit you. It’s right there.
You leap.
The ocean rushes up to meet you—but does so in silence.
For that’s all your world ever was.
You open your eyes. Waking is sudden, but completely undramatic. There’s no sitting up abruptly, no sweat pouring down your skin, no panting as if you’d just come up for air. All you do is stare at the ceiling, wondering if it might come crashing down or hold for another day. Light spills in through the nearby window, falling across your lap. Your eyes follow the sunbeams until they hit an orange leg lying on your chest, slowly shifting with the breathing of its owner. You adjust yourself to look at Applejack, who’s still asleep, lost in the world of her dreams.
Your action brings an unconscious mumble from Applejack as she wraps her forelegs further around you and squeezes, almost as if she knows it’s morning and time for you to leave. You run a hand idly through her mane, letting the smooth hair brush up against your skin. Her mane is uncharacteristically exposed; no hat to hide it and no tie to keep it bundled up. You’re thankful she decided to stay the night, even if you had protested it at first. She knew what was good for you better than yourself—though that hardly came as a surprise.
This wasn’t the first time you’d been your own enemy.
You consider waking her, but decide against it. Right now, you’d like some time alone to let the thoughts stirred up from last night free. A walk would do you wonders.
Quietly, you slip out of Applejack’s grasp, careful not to disturb her or the covers. She mumbles to herself again once you rise from the bed, but soon returns to her slumber. You sneak over to the dresser, pull out a set of clothes and proceed to dress yourself silently. A small voice arises in the back of your head, telling you the secrecy was pointless—dangerous, even. Didn’t you just admit Applejack knew what was best?
You dismiss the thought and finish your morning routine without a word. AJ usually woke quite early; you were lucky enough that she had decided to sleep in today. Finally ready to head out, you look back at your mare one last time, hesitating a moment before walking out the door.
She’d be fine.
Kicking at the dirt, you set on down the path toward town, hands stuffed in your pockets. You’d spent so much time with Applejack over the past few days, the loneliness of this walk had caught you off-guard. This was necessary, though. She couldn’t be asked to carry all of your problems. They were irrelevant, born from a world she’d never see or know except through you. You look up, gazing at a mountain not far off. As you recalled, Applejack and her friends had once ascended it in order to save Ponyville from the smog of a dragon’s snore. A grin flashed across your face. Snores weren’t exactly what you’d consider dangerous, but this world was strange enough to believe it.
And there it is again. That odd feeling you got from nature here, like things didn’t quite line up, like the scenery wasn’t raw and pure like back on Earth. It threw your walk off-balance just the slightest bit, but nothing more. Maybe it was some weird pollen, or magic pollution, or perhaps you were developing allergies to something. Whatever it was, there was little to do about it at the moment, and truth be told, you didn’t care enough.
Looking at the mountain again, you remember rock climbing with Alice. The feeling of rugged rock on your hand, dusted up with chalk as you pushed yourself higher and the thrill of conquest, standing at the top of a wall that had seemed so intimidating before. She was just a good a climber as you, and twice as ambitious. You often found yourself being the voice of reason, talking her down from climbing impossible inclines, or taking on mountains neither of you were trained for. If she were with you right now, she’d probably have already challenged you to a race to the top of the mountain in the distance.
With a grimace, you kick the dirt much harder, but your foot slips and you find yourself nearly falling over. After a few unstable steps and some drastic waves of your arms, you rebalance and resign yourself to continue the walk, the frown still stubbornly attached to your face.
“Hey, dude!”
You turn your head to the familiar voice as Rainbow Dash zips in, blazing just inches above your head. The dust she kicks up makes you cover your eyes as you do your best to hide your frown. No reason for Rainbow to concern herself with your fervent nostalgia. When you hear her hooves clop on approach, you uncover your eyes and give her your best smirk.
“What’s Equestria’s fastest flier up to?” You extend a hand.
She returns your smirk in kind and slaps your hand with a forehoof. “You mean, besides being awesome? Oh, I just thought I’d head down to the market today. Got some things to pick up. You?”
“Out for a walk.”
“Uh-huh.” You think you see one of her eyebrows twitch before she takes up pace next to you. “Where’s the marefriend, ya big stud?” she asks, prodding your rib.
You find yourself gritting your teeth through the reply. “Still asleep. Guess she picked today to sleep in, happens only about once in a blue moon.”
“I don’t know how she can live like that! I mean, there are a hundred great places in Ponyville alone to sleep. I hardly have enough nap time to enjoy them all.”
Putting a hand to you mouth, you stifle a laugh. “You talk like you never nap, but I swear, if you’re not with me, doing your job, or reading in the library with Twilight, you’re napping. You say you don’t know how AJ wakes up early, but I don’t know how you always sleep so late.”
“Napping’s the best. You’ll come around to it. You just need to learn how to nap properly.”
“Now you sound like Rarity. ‘How to nap properly’,” you say, doing a poor impersonation of the fashionista while crooking your wrist.
“Hey!” Rainbow bumps into you, sending you off course. As you regain your balance, you’re finally able to crack a real smile for the first time today. “Teach you to mess with this.”
“Whatever.” You roll your eyes and stick your hands back in your pockets, your eyes drifting to the same sky Rainbow makes her living in. A few clouds wander by, but it’s a clear day for the most part and the sun is moving into its early afternoon position. Closing your eyes, you smile and let the wind roll over you, taking in the peace of the moment. This influx of clarity gives rise to an unexpected thought.
“Dude?” Rainbow breaks you from your musings.
“Ah, sorry. Mind wandered a bit.”
She shakes her head. “I don’t think I’ll ever get that about you. How do you just drift out of the moment like that?”
“That never happens to you?”
“Nah, can’t lose your concentration in the air, especially when you spend your time doing tricks as cool as the ones I do. Why would I want to space out like that? I could be spending the time doing something more interesting. ‘Sides, you look silly when you do it.” She ends her statement with an antagonizing grin and you respond by ruffling her mane. “Aww, c’mon, dude, cut it out!”
“Pfft. Like you spend time keeping your mane straight.”
“Maybe I do, maybe I don’t. Awesome is as awesome does.” You watch her quickly pat her mane back down, her cheeks flushed from what you assume is embarrassment.
“Hey, Rainbow...”
“C’mon, bud, I told you you could call me Dash.”
“Alright, then, Dash.” You pause to take a deep breath before asking, “What’s it like to dream?”
“Oh, don’t tell me this is another one of your super deep questions. You spend way too much time thinking about that stuff. I need to take you out more.”
You give her a playful jab. “Really, though. What is it like to have such a clear view of your goal?”
“You mean, like, wanting to join the Wonderbolts?”
She’s definitely trying to avoid the question. Rolling your eyes, you reply, “No, I mean like how you’ve always wanted to be an underwater basket weaver.”
“Hey! Cut the sarcasm, smart guy! I was just making sure.” Tapping a hoof to her chin, Dash starts absentmindedly hovering next to you. “Well, I dunno. It makes my days a lot simpler. Practice, read when I’m tired or sick of practice, then nap. Work at my job when I have to. Things seem straightforward, and I’ve got no lack of motivation, ‘cause I know, one day, I’ll be a Wonderbolt. You don’t spend all that time working for something and never get anything in return. World doesn’t work like that.” Screwing up her face, she adds one last thought, “At least, I don’t think it does. If it doesn’t, well, screw the world. I’m gonna be a Wonderbolt anyways.”
“You seem pretty confident about it.” Your voice is level and cool, though tinged with apprehension. Dash picks up on it.
“Heck yeah! I’m the only pegasus to do the Sonic Rainboom, period! I think I’ve earned a little bit of confidence.”
You give a half-hearted shrug. “Fair enough.”
Rainbow eyes you cautiously, as if trying to read you beneath the stoic visage and less-than-enthusiastic shrug. Keeping your eyes locked on the path ahead, you do your best to give nothing away—though her inspection is starting to put a dent in the good mood you’d been building up. To be fair, however, you’d stirred the conversation up with that question, ‘What’s it like to dream?’ You can’t help yourself; one of the reasons you love hanging out with Rainbow so much is her unwavering certainty. ‘Screw the world, I’m gonna be a Wonderbolt anyways.’ How does she think like that? Has her life been so sheltered to think all her dreams would come to fruition?
“Alright, you got one, so now I get one,” she says.
“Huh? One what?”
“One question. You like your profound questions, so I think I wanna try one of my own.”
“I dunno, I wouldn’t really call that question ‘profound’. And I kind of prefer smalltalk to philo—”
“Dude, that’s total bull, and you know it. Now stop trying to weasel out of it!”
With a huff, you sink your shoulders and slouch. “Okay, okay. Fair’s fair. You get a question.”
Rainbow did a spin mid-air and pumped a forehoof. “Yes! You ready for this?”
No, you thought, but instead say, “Just ask it already.”
“Do you regret not doing anything back where you came from? Seeing as you’re stuck here and everything.”
Internally, you cringe, but do your best to keep your face level as you close your eyes and raise your head to the sky. Sure, you regret plenty. Regret never saying goodbye, never making a name for yourself, never climbing Everest or running a marathon. The list went on. Those were all other peoples’ dreams, though. Conquests you borrowed. Nothing you decided to do to show yourself and the world that you could do it. Nothing, except...
“I wanted to see Fljótavík*.”
“Flo-ta-what now?”
“Fljótavík. It’s a... cape in Iceland, a country in the world I’m from.”
Rainbow raises an eyebrow at you. “And why did you want to see it? Is it a real popular place or something?”
“No.” You lower your head a bit and look to Rainbow. She probably won’t understand, but you did agree to answer. “Someone sang a song about it.”
Rainbow gapes and narrows her eyes in response, painting bewilderment plain on her face. Just as you figured. “The second I think I’ve got you figured out just a little... I mean, a song? That doesn’t even... what was it like? Lots of heavy guitar?” She stretches her forehooves out and starts air-guitaring, shaking her head back and forth. “That’s some—”
“No, no, not at all like that.” You wave your hands, interrupting Dash’s solo performance. “It was slow, but paced with a restrained urgency. There was guitar, but not like you’re thinking. More mellow than heavy. I think the best way to describe it would be hauntingly beautiful.”
Dash simply stares at you a moment before replying, “You know how girly that sounds, right? I thought I was supposed to be the mare here.”
Typical Dash. “A healthy appreciation of music doesn’t make me a damn mare, Dash. You wanted to know the answer, well, you got it.” Your voice comes out a bit rougher than you intend.
“Woah, woah, I didn’t mean to trample on your pride, there, bud. You like that kinda, music? I’m down with that. I just didn’t expect it from you. You’re always trying to build yourself up as some strong, unflappable statue of a stallion, but here you’re telling me you got a sensitive side.” A grin creeps up on her face as she nudges your shoulder. “You’re just a big softie. That’s cool with me, I like softies.” She leans in and whispers into your ear, “Just don’t tell Rarity or AJ. I’ll never hear the end of it.”
You feel a familiar elation build up within you, the same that you’d felt threaten earlier in the conversation. It bubbles up onto your face, though you want to hide it, doing your best to hold the smile back. Dash is pretty crude sometimes, and perhaps a touch more blunt than necessary—but you love that. You steel your gaze, pushing the happiness off of your face and letting it out elsewhere.
Dash gives a yelp as you snatch her out of the sky and pull her into a great bearhug, squeezing the rest of her yelp out of her lungs.
“Oh, geez, you stupid oaf, you’re messing up my coat and my mane now! And watch the w—ugh!” You cut her off with another squeeze. She talks like she wants nothing to do with it, but she never struggles. In fact, her forelegs find their way around your neck as she indulged in a small hug of her own.
The thought of hugging Dash any other time seemed ridiculous. She isn’t the sensitive, understanding one; she’s the competitor, the athlete, the ambitious one. To any of her friends, the scene would send them to laughter or to question their sanity. Here, though, on this lonely road, amongst a war of your thoughts on the battleground of your mind, it makes sense. Truly, it’s the only thing that makes sense.
You can feel her body heat emanating from beneath her coat as well as calming, even breaths against your chest. With a smile, you realize she likes it just as much as you.
After a few more moments, you release her and she settles back into a pace alongside you.
“So help me Celestia, if you ever dare tell anyone about that...” She let the threat hang in the air.
“Hey, same to you, Dash.”
Turning to her back, Dash begins to fumble with her wings, which have become stiff and unresponsive. “Stupid things!”
“Why are they doing that, anyways?” you ask, reaching out to touch them yourself.
Dash’s face flushes red and she freezes, staring at you. “Y-you don’t know? Nopony ever told you?”
You roll your eyes. “No, I’m not exactly an expert in pegasus physiology.” You’re about to grasp a wing to help push it back down when she smacks your hand away.
“Don’t worry about it, I’ll be fine! And hey, look! We’re back in town! Better get down to the market!”
Dash points forward, and sure enough, Ponyville is just ahead. You open your mouth to repeat your question, but Dash has already taken off and you’re forced to run to keep up with her. By the time the two of you make it into market, you’re too worn out to care about the question or even ask it through your panting.
The two of you make your way through the market, Dash working rather quickly as she always does, zooming from one stall to the next. The place isn’t too busy at this hour, though there is still plenty of commotion between the hawkers and customers. Dash adds her own degree of activity as well. You’d be surprised if she doesn’t forget something, given the urgency with which she’s moving. Watching her shop, you wonder what might have caused her to speed up so, though you’re not so sure you’d get a straight answer. Besides, Dash is prone to sudden gear shifts like this. It’s just the way she lives: napping one moment and racing the next.
After she finishes up, she flies up to you one last time. “That’s all I need. Wanna walk back out toward my house with me? I could use somepony to help carry all this stuff.” She emphasizes the latter statement with a smirk.
“Ah, I think I’ll hang out here for a while. Gotta sit down before heading back out. Thanks for keeping me company, though.” You start to turn away, but pause and look back to Rainbow. “I mean it. It... helped.”
“Anytime, man, anytime. You know I got your back!” She holds a hoof out and you smack it, then wave at her as she flies off.
You spend the next hour or so wandering around town, walking down roads both familiar and unfamiliar. It’s a bit hard to get lost here, though. There town is pretty small. You pass by both the library tree and Sugarcube Corner, letting your thoughts wander briefly to the encounters you've had with the ponies who reside in each building. Pinkie is ever the ball of energy and relentless enthusiasm, somepony you both love and hate being around. Her attitude wears on you at times, and it doesn’t help she reminds you just the tiniest bit of Alice.
Twilight is nearly the opposite. As long as you never get her worked up, she’s as rational and level-headed as anypony else. A head smarter, too. You can’t help but think back to what she said yesterday.
‘She is a very traditional pony. Her entire family is. I didn’t expect her to be so welcoming to somepony that isn’t, well, a pony.’
To tell the truth, you haven’t seen any evidence of that, but it’s possible you’ve been blinded by your attraction to Applejack. Maybe it‘s time for you to look at things a bit more objectively. You can also go find Twilight and inquire further. She’s one of Applejack’s good friends, it’s likely she knows more.
With a sigh, you pinch your nose and shake your head. You’ve done far too much thinking today. Some rest and time away from yourself would help, but since the latter is impossible, you instead settle for taking a seat on a nearby bench. As you collapse into the seat, you let out a deep breath of content and focuse on the first thing you see in front of you. To your surprise, you’re facing the same mountain you’d seen earlier today.
It seems like a quite a coincidence.
“Dragon Mountain, they’re calling it now.”
You turn around, coming face to face with a familiar pony, the same one you’d run into on the trail yesterday. His dark coat drinks in the early afternoon sunlight and his teal blue eyes reflect an odd sort of knowing back at you. You greet him with a nod and a polite smile before shifting your attention back to the mountain.
“It’s a bit too simple and straightforward, if you ask me. I prefer more esoteric meanings, symbolism and the such.” He walks over and takes a seat next to you. “You know what they called it before the dragon incident?”
“No, I’m afraid not.”
“Horn of the Valley. Or, ‘Yevantatsuun’, in Old Equestrian. I liked it better.”
“Huh.” It’s somewhat interesting, you suppose, though you aren’t really the one to put time into researching that sort of thing. “Dragon Mountain seems easier to remember.”
“So it is. And that’s probably what the history books will remember, too. Such a pity.” His gaze sinks, downtrodden at thought.
“And why would an earth pony like you put so much stock into knowledge of history? Are you a historian? Is that your special talent?” You crook your neck to get a good look at his cutie mark, but the way he was sitting and the position of his legs block it from view.
“A historian? I suppose I am, in a way. I don’t have any books on the mountain, though I indulge from time to time. The library here, for instance, is surprisingly well-stocked and the librarian is quite dedicated to her craft. I recommend you try reading up when you can.”
“I’m more worried about other things at the moment. Like right now, what I’m thinking is how I might be able to climb that mountain, and whether or not my special somepony would like to do it with me.”
“That one’s pretty easy to climb. There’s a path all the way up to the top, actually.”
“Yeah, but that defeats the purpose. I’m not interested in a path, I want some vertical cliff faces hanging hundreds of feet up. That’s rock climbing. You take the path, you call it a hike.”
“Do you often take the hard way?” His question hooks with a tone of curiosity at the end.
“I suppose I do, more often than not.” You almost laugh at your answer. Here you are, talking with a complete stranger, yet you had no qualms sharing with him. Maybe whatever makes you feel uneasy around nature here makes you comfortable with ponies—or maybe it’s just this pony in particular. In either case, there’s no real harm indulging him at least a little bit.
“I love having that element of unpredictability, choosing the thing you think you ought not to just because it might be more interesting that way. Much like how magic works,” he says.
“Eh?” You sit up and finally take your gaze from the mountain. “What’s magic got to do with anything?”
“Magic has two sides. One is much like physics: you expect reaction B when you present action A. It’s very predictable and, as such, well-documented. This is what your studious unicorns like Twilight excel in. With time, study, and determination, any unicorn can master this aspect of magic. I call it ‘substance’.
“But there is more to it. A side that so few students of the field see; a trait with no limits, no rules, no libraries of information on. Every unicorn taps into this, most without realizing it. It’s impossible not to.
“You see, magic is a direct defiance of the order of the physical world. Without magic, there is only physics, only calculated action, only formulated function. When you throw a rock into the air, it will come back down every time. But what happens when you levitate it with magic? Where does that force come from? Where does it go when the rock is released? When a unicorn transforms a grape into, say, an orange, where does the energy for the change come from? Sure, research can tell you what the force on the rock is, and how matter shifts in a transformation, but there are cracks, tiny spaces in these explanations that almost nopony sees.
You cross your arms, incredulous. “And why would an earth pony like you be so interested in magic? As a matter of fact, how can you claim to know more about it than most unicorns?” You poke at his forehead. “You hiding a horn there or something?”
“Not at the moment, I don’t think.” He looks up and pats at his forehead with a hoof. “Nope, definitely not.” He lets out a grunt as he hops off the bench. “But I’ve bored you long enough with my ramblings. Places to be and such.”
“Is your dream to have a horn?”
Throwing his head back, the stallion gives a deep belly laugh. “My dreams are lost upon the world. But who knows? In Equestria, I’ve found quite literally anything is possible. You may learn the same before long. Farewell!” With a wave, he trots off down the street, concerning himself with whatever strange ponies like himself concern themselves with. Curiosity nibbles at you, but not enough to eat into your time by following after him.
You lean forward, putting your weight on your elbows as they dig into your legs. It just occurs to you that you never got that pony’s name or made note of his cutie mark. Even sitting next to you and sharing his thoughts on history and magic, he somehow managed to remain an enigma. You shrug to yourself—it doesn’t matter either way. He was somewhat interesting, but nothing more than another stranger. One willing to talk to the strange human, which makes him okay in your books, but still just a pony.
As you continue to gaze into the distance at the mountain—Yevantatsuun, was it?—a bizarre urge comes over you. Lifting up your hand, you motion to grasp the tip of the mountain and hold it. A want, a need to seize it grew from your loins like hunger. Your ambition begins to run wild as you stand up and start walking briskly toward the mountain. It must be miles away, an hour or so if you jogged, but you had to get there.
You start to run, though you don’t know why. Your vision shakes with each stride, but the mountain remains clear and stable. Maybe ponies are watching you, maybe not. You don’t care. Breath straining, your pace takes you outside of town, near the path you took in. It has been a while since you last ran like this, ran with purpose, with destination. Most of your runs are aimless, just for exercise. Now, though, everything seems so absolute, so defined, you chastise yourself for not doing this sooner.
“Heya!” Someone shouts your name.
You continue to run, unhindered. Grass, trees and earth rush by you, almost a blur. With each step, that mountaintop moves closer an indistinguishable amount. You have to get there, though.
“Where you off to in such a hurry, sugarcube?”
The mountain is the world, the world is the mountain. Your body is your stride, your breath, your speed.
“I’m talkin’ to you!”
An orange blur slams into your vision, bring your dazed sprint to an abrupt halt. You’re able to stop yourself just inches from Applejack, who you notice has a very annoyed look on her face. Somehow, though, you feel you’re not responsible for it.
“What exactly are you doin’?”
“Uhh...” You scratch the back of your neck and look back and forth between Applejack and the mountain. “I’m... not sure.”
Following your eyes, Applejack looks behind herself and takes note of what you were looking at. “You heading somewhere?”
“I think I was.”
Her visage turns from annoyed to frustrated. “What’s that s’pposed ta mean? Were you or weren’t you?”
“I just—” You start fumbling with your hands, sweat forming in your palms. “I had to get there, Applejack. I don’t know why. I needed to make to the top of that mountain, own that peak. Never, in all my time in Equestria, have I felt something so powerful. Like I’d finally have a purpose if I made it.” Solemnly, you turn your gaze to Applejack. “Have you ever felt that way?”
She shakes her head slowly in response. “No, I can honestly say I haven’t.”
“Heh, well, you never do say anything dishonestly.”
Applejack is not amused by your attempt at a joke. “You’re worrying me, hun. I’ve never seen you spaced out like that, like your sanity’d left the world and sailed off somewhere else. Now you say you were overwhelmed by some strange feeling? Maybe a doctor oughta take a look at you.”
“I don’t need a doctor.”
“Well—” Applejack sighs and shakes her head. “Alright, if you say you don’t need a doctor, I trust ya. Still worried, though.”
“I gave you good reason to be.” Letting out a breath, you put a hand on your hip and point toward the mountain with the other. “Ever tried rock climbing before?”
“I’ve seen some goats do some pretty impressive things on a vertical rock face, but I can’t say I’ve ever given it a shot myself.” She lifted a hoof, holding it out to you. “These ain’t exactly made for it.”
You nod. “Of course,” you reply, but a grin slinks onto your face. “Wanna try it?”
She looks back between you and the mountain, wearing a frown. “Now I’m all for being daring and ambitious, but there’s a difference between daring and stupid. Tryin’ to climb a mountain with nothin’ but hooves is stupid.”
“You wouldn’t just have hooves, AJ. We’d use all the proper rock climbing equipment: ropes, carabiners, and the such. If you do it right, there’s almost no risk.”
“I guess...” Her voice trails off, still considering the prospect. You understand her hesitation, but hope her adventurous side wins out over her cautious side. Sometimes she just put too much thought into something, or played things more strictly than necessary.
Safe to say, it bugs you.
“C’mon, I’ve done this plenty of times. I’ll make sure everything goes smoothly.”
She taps her chin a few times, then raises an eyebrow at you. “You haven’t been talkin’ with Rainbow Dash lately, have you? This sound like somethin’ she’d do.”
“R-Rainbow Dash? I guess I’ve been talking to her. In fact, she walked me into town.”
The statement brings a coy smirk to Applejack’s face. “Is that it? You’s was just takin’ an innocent walk into town with her?”
Narrowing your eyes, you lean in toward her. “Yeah... I’m not sure where you’re trying to go with this...” Did she know about the hug? Was she watching? Rainbow would kill you if AJ found out!
“Her wings happen to stiffen at any point?”
“Yeah? What’s that have to do with any—” Your face goes blank as realization draws over you.
“Heh, looks like you jus’ figured that out yerself. You know, ‘round here, we call ‘em ‘wingboners’.”
She can’t be serious.
“Looks like Rainbow’s got a thing for ya, Twig-legs.”
“I swear we didn’t do anything!”
Applejack seemed taken aback by your desperate defense. “She’s a pretty mare, and one of my best friends. Great catch all around. Why wouldn’t I want you doin’ anything?”
“It was just a wa—wait what?”
“What’s wrong with havin’ a go at Rainbow Dash? I sure wouldn’t mind.”
You blink, speechless, and stare at Applejack, searching for some hint of sarcasm or deception in her gaze, but find nothing. She can not have just said what you thought she said. In fact, you decide it would be a perfectly reasonable reaction to freak out.
So you do.
You Face the Darkness With Fortitude
“And I thought I was a big eater,” says the blue one; ‘Rainbow’ if you recalled correctly.
You spare a moment to sneer at her before returning to your meal. The pony the others called ‘Fluttershy’ had laid out a proverbial cornucopia of dishes, unsure of what exactly you eat. Some of it is inedible for you, but the lettuce, carrots, peanuts and fruits hit the spot as you shovel them down. Every now and then you pause for a drink, only to attack the food more fiercely afterwards.
Poor Fluttershy has slowly retreated further and further away from you, likely intimidated by your impressive appetite.
“So, uh, whaddya s’ppose we oughta do with it?” asks the one you know as ‘AJ’, one eye on Fluttershy, one on you, wary of what you might do after your meal.
“Mmph auughh mmmphh,” you mumble, trying to tell them you are right there, though the food impairs your ability to communicate for now. The ponies take it as some sort of animal grunt and ignore you.
“Well, if it behaves, I can p-probably find it a spot w-with the other animals,” meeps Fluttershy.
If I behave? you think to yourself. I’m a perfectly polite and upstanding gentleman. You try to tell your new friends, but again, your mouth is too full.
“You sure? You don’t seem too excited about that,” says Rainbow.
“I’m, um, just a little nervous. I’m sure he’ll get along fine with my animal friends.”
AJ has been eyeing you closely, watching your reactions to the conversation. Puffing her chest out, she approaches you and pokes your side. Curious, you look down at her, swallowing your last mouthful of food.
“I think it can understand us,” she says.
“Oh, c’mon!” says Rainbow, hovering over to you and poking your head. “It’s probably just some creature that wandered out of the Everfree.”
“Okay, then where did he get clothes that just so happen to fit him?”
“I dunno, luck? Why did it run straight into my buck, if it’s so smart? Besides, it’s wearing clothes that are falling apart—you saw the condition they were in.”
The two are looking at each other, absorbed in their conversation, not watching you at all. Resting your head on your hand, you point at Rainbow and nod. “Interesting theory there, but your orange friend is right.”
You never knew jaws could drop that far.
You might enjoy this.
The afternoon sun hits your eyes, forcing you to shield them with a hand. You lean back, trying to figure out how to explain this to her.
“It’s just, where I come from, relationships are almost always one man, one woman. Or, in a pony’s case, stallion and mare. That’s how I’ve always pictured it.”
Applejack frowned, crossing her forehooves from her stop underneath the tree. It’s shortly after your little freak out over Applejack’s proposition. You’re trying to explain your side of things, but it’s somewhat difficult. This isn’t the first time your cultures have clashed.
You adjust yourself, lining your back up against the tree, again settling into a comfortable position. Your heart is still beating quickly from your tantrum. To be honest, you have a history of handling unexpected situations poorly. Most people sit down, think first and analyze things like adults. You just snap.
“I dunno really how comfortable I am with the idea of a one-mare relationship. There’s such a shortage of stallions out there, it’d just be selfish of me to keep you to myself. Not to mention, unfair to Rainbow.”
“First of all, if you say it like that, it sounds like males are just some commodity. I’ve never had the intention of wooing any other mare, and I’m perfectly happy just sticking with you. Second, I can just explain the situation to Rainbow before she gets any expectations. I’m sure she’ll understand.”
Applejack’s voice deepens to a growl. “You know I didn’t mean it like that. And this isn’t somethin’ Rainbow Dash should have to ‘understand’. All you gotta do is give her a chance. The mare’s probably already got her hopes up. You realize what kinda wreckin’ you’d bring down on her if you said it couldn’t work out jus’ cause you weren’ used to courtin’ more than one mare at once? Don’t she deserve more than that?”
You pinch the bridge of your nose. “I’m not saying—” Leaning your head back, you let out a sigh. Why couldn’t she just understand? Asking out Rainbow while you’re dating Applejack... that isn’t something you can just try!
Evening out your breath, you decide to look at things more objectively. You consider time commitments, location (Rainbow does live in the sky), hobbies and other things in common... but the thoughts feel so shallow without emotion. As your brain churns, you keep coming to the same conclusion: this is more than you can handle.
Bringing your hands up to your face, you shake your head. This isn’t a decision you can make now. It’s too important. You get to your feet and stand a moment.
“I... I need to think about this. I’m going for a walk.”
Applejack stands as well. “You want company?”
“No. I gotta figure this out on my own. That’s the only way I’ll really know how I feel.”
“Alright. Just try to come home before too long. Sun’s setting and dinnertime is coming around.”
You nod and start off, but Applejack says one last thing to your back.
“Come home okay, will ya? And I don’t just mean with no broken bones.”
You wave over your shoulder. I’ll do my best, you think, but keep the words to yourself.
Odd that you find yourself staring at the sunset, the very same thing that’d started your relationship with Applejack in the first place. This time, however, you aren’t at Sweet Apple Acres. Instead, you find yourself walking down a different road heading out of town. You don’t really know where it leads, but such things matter little to you at the moment.
The summer air is heavy on your breath, sweet with pollen. The road crunches beneath your feet, alien appendages themselves in this world of ponies. You bring up your hand, inspecting it like you’re seeing it for the first time. The wrinkles and creases are deep; callouses from long days of work blemish your fingers. It doesn’t belong in this world either, much like the rest of you.
But here you are.
Letting your hand drop back to your side, it occurs to you that you’ll never see another human hand again that isn’t yours. The realization sort of sneaks up on you, bringing up fresh pangs of regret. This is something you’d normally talk with AJ about, but she isn’t here right now. All you have left of Earth are memories, now, but even those will fade away with time. Time seems to get the best of everything.
Your thoughts wander back to the matter at hand: the mountain that’d been hoisted onto your back, the weight you’d have to deal with until you made a choice. Could you really date Applejack and Rainbow at the same time? Just the thought of it makes you squirm, even though you can’t nail down the reason why. They’re both upstanding ponies, tough, yet sensitive where it counts, dependable, yet not perfect—exactly what you like in a person. But, for some reason, you can’t let go of the silly idea that a relationship is only meant for two people—or ponies, whatever the case.
Why is that so important to you?
Scratching your neck, you shake your head, running up against the same wall you’d been stuck at since your talk with Applejack. The sun had now since faded, and you watch as the moon takes its place, glowing it’s own mysterious hue of gentle blue. It’s a bit different from what you were used to on Earth, but you think you enjoy it better. A cool wind brushes against your skin, but you ignore it.
You curse to yourself, angered at your own inability to focus on something so important. Until you can answer that question, honestly and completely, you wouldn’t be able to answer Applejack. Another wind, stronger and more sudden than the first, hits your back. Curious, you glance behind yourself, discovering with a bit of shock that your walk is no longer in solitude.
“Princess Luna!” you exclaim, bowing to the night keeper as she approaches. Her gait is structured and proper, but not haughty. She wears a gaze of passivity tinged with concern, eyes reflecting her moonlight.
“Hark, subject. I welcome you to another night.”
“If I may ask, what brings you here?”
She gestures forward, prompting you to continue your walk and takes up pace beside you. “You may. I come because the heart of a certain subject of mine has been yelling at the moon for two nights, now. Yesterday you wondered if I could hear your thoughts while you cast them to the sky and today I heard them especially deep and resounding. Well, here is your answer.” She pauses, considering her next words. “You are troubled.”
“You make house calls now?” you say, smirking at your own quip.
“Pray tell, what is a ‘house call’?”
You shake your head and sigh. “Nothing important. I tried to make a sarcastic joke, but I should’ve realized you don’t have phones around here.”
“No, I am afraid I have not heard of a ‘phone’ before.”
“Well, it’s this device that allows you to—”
“I am, however, quite capable of detecting when someone is avoiding a certain subject.”
Your mouth clamps shut. While this isn’t the first time you’d spoken with Princess Luna, it is the first time you’d witnessed exactly how curt she could be. “You don’t beat around the bush, do you?”
“I would like to think that, after thousands of years guiding my subjects, I know how to comfort those in need. Avoiding the subject of difficulty will lead to no form of relief. If you wish not to speak at this moment, we can walk in silence. But do not think to yourself I will allow the conversation to wind in such intricate paths as to portend some semblance of aid.”
You reply with a nod, and the two of you continue the walk without words for the moment. Luna’s arrival, while sudden, had at least given you something else to think about. It always seems easier to work through things when your brain is on autopilot. Sledgehammers aren’t as effective as a push.
“What do you think you would do if you were in my position? In general, at least. You’re all alone, and while your morals and ethics line up mostly with those of the beings you’re with, it’s not quite the same. And those things, while they seem minor at first, are actually a massive gorge when you look closely.”
“I believe I would stand by my principles,” says Luna, pausing a moment to breathe in the night air. “But that is not blind allegiance to my old world or a stubborn rooting in my way of thinking. Indeed, I have been proven wrong many times in my long life, some of those occurrences more recent than others. Principles, however, can always be traced back to their root. That is the commonality between our societies; we both share things like respect for another pony—or human, in your case—a desire to avoid suffering, a longing to find friendship, belonging, and love. I stand by my principles because I know where they come from, and I know they will lead me in the direction I wish to live.”
“I sounds so simple...” you mumble, voice trailing off into thought. Once again, the weight of your past is clouding your mind, though this time you think you prefer it this way. What sort of future could you build if you neglected where you came from? You run a hand through your hair and huff. This would be so simple if ponies just saw relationships the same way you did.
“You must ask yourself the correct questions, subject. No one can ask them for you.”
So where did this desire to be with Applejack and Applejack only come from? Was it a question of respect? Of privacy? You frown. Of selfishness? Relationships between two people are special because... because why? You never asked yourself that question before. Never had a reason to and now that you’re thinking about it, you wonder if that’s because that’s because monogamy was more widely accepted on Earth or because it’s something you believe in.
Partners are supposed to understand each other better than anyone else. They share a deep connection that could never be copied or faked... but why couldn’t you just have it with two ponies? It wouldn’t be the same for each, but it would still be unique and just as powerful.
“I don’t think I could give my entirety to two different ponies. One would know things about me the other would not. I may refrain from being open with one because I might think the other would understand me better.”
“There are many ‘maybe’s in there. Is that truly what is stopping you? Taking a chance? And what is to say that situation is not acceptable to your partners? They could very well want exactly that. Do not misunderstand me, I am not arguing one way or another. This is your decision alone. I only wish to elucidate all avenues of thought.”
She speaks no lies, but you remain unsure. Maybe you are thinking with your head too much and not your heart. A relationship is made of emotions as well as logic.
And what do your emotions say?
“I’m afraid.”
Luna nods. “It is reasonable, nay, expected to fear the unknown, to hesitate when faced with such a choice. It speaks volumes that you’ve given yourself a chance to consider it before deciding. Your fear should give you confidence—but do not allow it to cripple you.” Her tone shifts from reassuring to cautious. “Do your feelings perhaps have basis in the past?”
You chuckle to yourself. “Which feelings don’t?”
“I do not wish to pressure you, but if you feel talking about it may help, I—”
“I left her, Luna.”
Her mouth snaps shut and surprise flashes across her eyes for only a second. She doesn’t reprimand you for interrupting, though.
“She was so confident. So ambitious.” You bring your hands to your face, wiping them across your cheeks before letting them drop back to your sides. “Everything I thought I wanted, just so much of it that I couldn’t hold onto myself. I left her. I wasn’t torn away by my voyage here, she didn’t break up with me or even die in some accident.” You held Luna’s gaze with your own, sharp as a knife. “That’s what I’m afraid of. That when the time comes, I won’t be able to handle things working out. I’m addicted to my own misery, to discontent. I’m terrified of the idea that both Rainbow and Applejack will be able to love me, and I’ll be able to return it. No one person is supposed to be that lucky and even if someone is, it certainly shouldn’t be me.”
Luna suddenly stops walking. You take a moment to react and stop yourself, then turn around and look at her.
She looks perplexed and almost... hurt. “Is that what you truly believe? That you don’t deserve it?”
You shrug. “I’ve done nothing to earn it. I’m an average person who’s made too many mistakes. Maybe things’ll work out with Applejack, but only because she’s a good pony. There’s nothing remarkable about me... and I’m alright with that.”
“All of my subjects deserve happiness. And not because they’re heroes or princesses or ponies of stature, but because every last one of my subjects are good. I believe that beyond a shadow of a doubt.”
“I don’t deserve happiness simply for refraining from being a terrible person. That should be expected.”
“I would agree. That does not make it easy, however. It takes effort. You have, at the very least, earned the right be a little selfish. The world asks so much of you. Do you not deserve something for yourself?”
Bringing a hand over your eyes, you sigh and shake your head. “I think we’ve come across a fundamental difference of opinion here.”
Luna steps forward, leaning in toward your face. “And have you learned something from it?”
‘No,’ you’re about to say, but you stop yourself. Isn’t this what you have been searching for? The chasm that separates you from the ponies? Luna had laid it bare for you—do you have the wisdom to take what you need from it?
“I... think so.”
“It pleases me to hear it.”
She turns her head, now looking past you. Something had caught her eyes. Curious, you look over your shoulder and your stare lands on a stunning landscape, one that captivates you with a glance. Not too far off is a familiar peak, cutting through the horizon and standing out from the background. Towering above it is a glowing moon. Its position appears to place it just atop the peak, like a ball precariously balanced on a pen. The wind buffets your face, but you squint to keep your eyes open, feeling like if you closed them you’d lose the scene forever.
“Yevantatsuun.”
Luna shifted her gaze to you, clearly impressed. “You’re familiar with its title, then?”
“Yes, someone told me about it earlier. Said it means, ‘Horn of the Valley’.”
“I suppose if that is one translation. It is not the one I intended, however.”
You gape at her. “You named it?”
“Indeed. ‘Yevan’ means ‘depression’ or ‘dip’. ‘Suun’ is ‘peak’ or ‘highest point’, so when applied to landscape, they’re naturally translated to ‘valley’ and ‘mountain’. This land was originally settled by unicorns, however, so ‘horn’ was adopted instead of ‘mountain’. ‘Tat’, the conjunction, means not only ‘of’, as in ownership, but also ‘in the midst’. Therefore, the original intended title of the mountain was, ‘High point in the midst of a depression’. I much prefer that one.”
“Yeah, I think I do, too.”
The two of you watch as the moon rises, ever so slowly lifting from the mountaintop. It feels much easier to think like this, like the river of your thoughts had just been freed from a dam. No small thanks to Luna as well.
“Now we will hug.”
Your jaw drops to the ground. “W-what?”
“I enjoy hugs and find them most therapeutic.” She pauses, raising an eyebrow at you. “Unless you do not like hugs?”
“N-no, hugs are great, I just... I’m not used to hugging a princess. Seems, eh, out-of-place.”
“Well, your princess is requesting one.” She turns to face you, standing up straight. You rub your hands, sweaty from nerves, together before bringing them out a bit. Hugging another person is simple enough; you both put out your arms and hold each other. Without arms, though, ponies just kinda... stand there.
“Well?”
You squat down, sinking your head to her eye level, then stiffly bring your arms around her neck. Her coat is warm against the chilly wind of the night. Unconsciously, you draw your hand down her neck onto her back, running your fingers through her coat, finding it soft and smooth like silk. When she hooks a hoof around your side and pulls you in further, you can’t help but jump a bit. Her sentiment is not unappreciated, however.
Dipping into the silence, you almost find yourself getting comfortable. Relaxed. Something you’d had precious little of. You close your eyes and lean into her neck, listening to her pulse.
A moment later the two of you break away. As you get back to your feet, you let out a sigh, smiling on the inside. Although the princess is being courteous and informal, it still doesn’t feel appropriate to show your feelings so frankly around her.
“That was an excellent embrace. I commend your ability to hug.”
You give her a half-smile. “Thanks. You’re not so bad yourself.”
“Yes,” she says, looking back to Canterlot. “I have duties and important things I must return to—and I believe you do as well, now. I enjoyed our talk. If you ever have need of one again, look to the moon and wonder. It would please me to converse, rather than let you wallow in doubt.”
You nod. “Thanks, Princess. You’ve shown me a lot. I owe you.”
Bending her legs in preparation for takeoff, she shoots one last look your way. “I will consider us even if you go speak with your mare. Farewell, subject.”
With that, she’s gone.
You wrap your arms around her, pulling her close, breathing in the smell of her coat. She stands there awkwardly.
“So, uh—”
“Just enjoy the damn hug.”
Letting out a giggle, she smiles and puts her forelegs around you, sighing in contentment as she rests her head on your shoulder. The two of you hold each other for a while, never saying anything, not even making a sound, just listening to each other breathe.
“You made up your mind, then?”
“Yeah.”
“And what’s it gonna be?”
You frown, knowing she wouldn’t like the answer. There is no way for you to say anything else, though. You break the hug, crouch down and look Applejack straight in the eyes.
“You’re the only mare I could ever see myself with. I like Rainbow, but I could never accept the both of you at the same time.”
She frowns. “That ain’t the answer I was hopin’ ta hear.”
“It’s the only answer I have.”
Pausing, she looks behind herself into the house, then turns back to you. “This ain’t the best place to be discussin’ this. Come on inside.”
She leads to you past the living room, upstairs into her room and takes a quick look down the hallway before closing her bedroom door behind her.
“Now why don’t you explain yourself?” she says, walking over to the bed and sitting up against it.
“As I said, Applejack, the idea that a relationship is just one man and one woman comes from my world, and it’s extremely important to me.”
“Uh huh, yeah, I got that. What I missed was there part where you’re fine and dandy with throwin’ Rainbow out to the timberwolves ‘cause the idea of givin’ her a chance made you a mite uncomfortable.” Her voice carried flat and blunt.
You frown at the accusation. Earlier, you wouldn’t have been so sure, but after your talk with Luna, you think you have a response. “It’s not about that, Applejack, and I’d appreciate a chance to explain myself before you go to town on me.”
She waves off your rebuttable. “I know, I know, I ain’t bein’ fair to you. You just struck a sore spot here.”
“Thanks,” you say with a nod before continuing. “As I was saying, this isn’t about Rainbow. I really like her, and if things were different I could see myself loving her, too. But if I were to date—hell, if I were to even try to date—both of you at the same time, it would ruin me. It’s not a question of comfort, it’s one of integrity. What we have is special because it’s only ours. When I have something I want to talk about, it’s not that you’re the only one to go to, it’s that you’re the only one I want to go to. With two partners, you both only know a part of me; the part I want to show you. I shouldn’t have that kind of choice, not just because it wouldn’t be fair to either of you, but because relationships shouldn’t have that kind of option. They should be hard, they should have dilemmas, and the only way to solve those dilemmas should be through communication with your partner. Your only partner.”
Applejack crosses her arms, considering your argument. Her eyes dart across the floor and occasionally back to you, mind ticking away. Sweat forms on your neck as you wait for the reply.
“I still don’t like it.”
Huffing, you pull your hair back. “‘Don’t like it’? What don’t you like about it?”
“It sounds like an excuse. I know you hold your ideals from the human world important, and I respect ya for that, really. But, I guess what I don’t understand is why you’re so inflexible about it. Ain’t there some kinda compromise to be found? I’d love it if you were able to find comfort in Rainbow for somethin’ you weren’t able to talk about with me. I even bet that Rainbow would feel the same way. Isn’t that what a relationship is about at its core? Makin’ your partner happy?”
You find yourself pacing around the room, trying to find the right way to state your feelings. Applejack isn’t getting it. “Making your partner happy is a large part of it, but it should be done honestly and openly. You can’t ignore everything else for some single-minded notion of happiness. Yeah, you can strive for it, but you also can’t avoid every pitfall along the way. The bad times can strengthen a relationship just as well as the good.”
She slams a hoof on the floor. “What is it with you an’ bein’ sad or troubled? All I hear outta you is doom and gloom about the future. What’s wrong with tryin’ everything you can to avoid it? What’s wrong with hopin’ you’ll never have to be heartbroken and dejected?”
“Because it’s fake!” you yell, your volume getting away from you.
Applejack gets to her feet, eyes ablaze. “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize relationships needed your approval to be real.”
“It’s not my approval, it’s just how to the world works, okay? You think I want things to work like this? You think I wouldn’t love our relationship to be sunshine and rainbows all the time?” Shaking your head, you throw a dismissing wave at her. “Ponies just ignore the harsh side of things. Doesn’t mean it isn’t there.”
“Oh we’re ignorant, now? And when did you become the expert on what makes a relationship, huh? Last I heard, you screwed the pooch on your first one.”
She realizes her mistake moment the words are out, gasping and covering her mouth with her hooves.
You turn on her, fury and conflict dancing in your gaze. You let out a few loud, slow breaths through your nose, trying to burn through her with your eyes.
“I-I’m sorry... I shouldn’ta said that.”
“Yeah,” you say, voice dripping with venom, “you ‘shouldn’ta’.”
It takes every ounce of your willpower to keep from either storming out or screaming at her face. In fact, the conflict of deciding which to do is likely the only reason you haven’t already started. She has no idea, none at all what Alice had put you through. AJ hadn’t even lived in the same world. How could she possibly understand how hard it was?
A stray thought surfaces for a moment: she might. If you tell her.
You stomp and spin around, clicking your tongue. “Tch.” Twisting your glare into a sneer, you walk away from Applejack, unable to look at that vulnerable face of hers anymore.
“Alright.” She walks up to you and touches a hoof on the back of your leg. “I think I can accept this, but I’d like to ask something in return. Tell Rainbow Dash everything, and do it to her face.”
You cross your arms. Not even going to address the elephant in the room? Maybe it’s better that way. “What exactly is, ‘everything’?”
“Everything. Your feelings for her, the fact we had a discussion about it, and that you rejected the idea.” Her voice comes out soft and understanding, but you can hear a tinge of frustration as she mentions that last item.
You rejected the idea? You open your mouth to protest, but keep quiet. She’s right, you know, you think to yourself. You hate how you can’t let your rage free when she’s in the right. Shaking your head, you wave her off. “Alright.”
“Good. Cause I’m plum tuckered an’ I don’t think we should stick around for even another minute in this room together.” Staring straight through you, she points to the door.
“Feeling is mutual.” You pause. “I hope you understand why I’m doing this.”
“I do. That don’t mean I still ain’t angry as a bull. Now get,” she says, jabbing her hoof toward the door.
Nodding, you walk out, though your stride is lethargic. With one hand on the doorframe, you pause, opening your mouth as if to say something more, but Applejack beats you to it.
“Look, hun, I get what you’re sayin’ and I understand why you’re bein’ a stubborn ol’ mule about it. That still won’t change what my heart’s tellin’ me about this. I feel like its wrong all over. So unless I get some time to mull this over, I’m gonna explode.” She walks over to the door, throws it open, and points to the hallway. “We’re done talkin’ now.”
Holding your head up high, you shrug and walk out. The door immediately slams behind you.
Tomorrow. You have to confront Rainbow tomorrow. If you don't distance yourself and Applejack from this situation as soon as possible... who knows what will happen.
You’d never seen the moon glare with such ferocity.
Typically, you imagine the glow as soft, comforting even. A guide home, beacon for the straying traveller. Someone like you. Tonight, however, it’s angry. You think you know why.
A full day has passed since your talks with Luna and Applejack, and in such a short time, everything has spiraled out of control.
The path is silent but for the occasional breeze rushing across the grass and sending waves through your short hair. There are no words to be spoken, not any more. The ones that linger lay heavily on the air, pressing down on you like a lead blanket. It was a mistake, of course, but when had you ever discovered your mistakes before you made them? When did you ever stop yourself when you needed to?
Your breathing turns even and deep as you attempt to bring yourself back down, to ground yourself before your mind ran off with your thoughts again. Turning from the moon, you direct your gaze down the road where she’d walked off to. Probably heading back home; that’s where she went where she needed support, where you went for it as well.
You doubt you’d find it there any more, though.
With a frown, you turn around and start ambling down the street, wresting with thoughts of where to go next. You could try to undo what you’d done, sure, but how would the end result be any different if you didn’t figure yourself out? So for now, you need to move forward. Find somewhere—or someone—that could get you where you need to go.
Wherever that place is.
Pebbles scatter across the path, knocked loose by your somber gait. Twilight took you in when you’d first arrived, maybe she would be a good pony to go to. There’s probably still a spare bed in her house, and she likely knows you enough by now to realize when you need space. Spike would probably appreciate the extra company, too. Could Twilight help you with this, though? Really help you? You’d like to think so, but there’s a part of you that’s telling you you’ve hidden too much of your past from her. She wouldn’t have the necessary context to help.
There is one other pony you can go to. Somepony you know well, somepony who understands you well enough to be that help. You twist you face, conflicted by the thought. Maybe she is the source of your troubles, but it would be unfair to blame her. It’s not her fault, truly. You’re the one who screwed everything up. The point is conceded with a sigh.
You need to have a talk with Rainbow Dash.
Your Gallop Holds a Dreadful Poise
You feel it should be raining.
The night air is chilly and unwelcoming, buffeting your exposed body in the open field. Now that you think about it, you don’t come this way very often. Rainbow is often the one to find you when she wants to hang out. Her house has always been a little out of the way, but that doesn’t stop you tonight. Your purpose is too important.
Just before you call out to her, you hesitate.
“Rainbow Dash!”
You give her a few moments. It would take time for her to respond to the call from all the way up there. Nothing happens, though. Your heart sinks, thinking perhaps you had burned this bridge as well.
“Rainbow Dash! Hey! Down here!”
This time your voice is louder, more urgent. You wait a few seconds, and then hear your name shouted back at you as a question.
“Yeah!”
Silence precedes a flurry of wind and wings, Rainbow landing just a few feet in front of you.
“Hey,” she says, much more bashfully than anything else you’ve heard out of her mouth. Her tone relieves you; she doesn’t seem to hate you. Yet.
“Hey.”
Scratching the back of her head, she yawns and looks up at you. “How you doing?”
“Look, I know we kinda just saw each other, but I have to admit something. Something I meant to tell you earlier.”
She perks up visibly at your comment. “W-what’s up?” Her efforts to retain her usual swagger are somewhat foiled by her stutter.
“I haven’t been entirely honest with you. I, uh...”
“Yeah?”
How did this become so hard all of a sudden? You know exactly how you feel about Rainbow—that’s not the trouble here. It’s a bit odd to admit to yourself, but you’re actually having trouble admitting your feelings to a girl. Although, with both Alice and Applejack the other party had been the one to take the initiative. You suppose this development shouldn’t be unexpected.
Doesn’t stop it from feeling weird, though.
“C’mon, Stalky, don’t leave me hangin’.”
Taking a deep breath, you say, “I like you. More than a friend.”
When you first arrived in Equestria, the very first thing you noticed about ponies were their eyes. Huge things, taking up what seemed like half of their face, adorable and captivating at the same time. Much bigger than they had any business being.
Rainbow’s had somehow grown larger than that.
“Y-you’re serious? Really?”
You can’t help but crack a small smile at her response. “Really.”
Once again, you’re amazed by Rainbow’s speed as she wraps her hooves around you in a bear hug, squealing to herself. Surprised by her voracity, you stumble back a few steps before regaining your footing and hug her back. The longer the hug goes on, however, the more squeamish you become. It’s only a few seconds before you pull Rainbow off and set her on the ground.
You can tell she wanted more, but now that she’s detached, she fakes a cough and looks away. “Oh, yeah that’s pretty cool. I like you too, you know.”
You sigh. “Yeah, I know.”
She shifts uncomfortably in place a moment before asking, “So, you, uh, wanna come inside?”
Intrigued, you look up to her house, then back down to Rainbow. “And how am I going to get up there?”
Blowing the mane out of her eyes, she lets out a guffaw. “Wait here a sec.” Wind blasts from her launch point as she flies back into her house, leaving your sight for a short time before coming back with the same sort of grandeur. She holds a vial of purple liquid out to you. “Drink this. It’s a prepared spell Twilight made so yo—er, anypony could come up to my house without falling through it. Should last a day.”
You take the vial from her and inspect it before gulping it down. “That’s one problem down... but I still don’t know how to fly.”
Rainbow puffs out her chest. “Good thing I do!” Again, she takes off in a flourish of speed.
“Oh, man, you’re not seriously—” Your eyes follow her as she loops around, gaining momentum and coming at you rapidly. “You are.” An audible swallow accompanies your panic. While you trust Rainbow, you also realize she isn’t the most cautious of ponies. You take a deep breath, close your eyes, and gasp as hoofs hook around your sides, just below your armpits, and whisk you away. Wind buffets your body as you rise at an alarming rate, forcing you to squint to see where you’re going.
Once the initial shock wears off, though, you actually find the experience fairly enjoyable. Unfortunate that it lasts such a short time. Rainbow deposits you on her front steps and you stumble a bit, unfamiliar with walking on cloud, not to mention your heart racing from the brief yet intense ride.
“That was cool,” you manage to say.
Rainbow slaps you on the back, hovering by you and opening the front door. “Of course it was! You’re hangin’ with the Dash now!”
Cloud houses are awesome.
The furniture is somehow sturdy, yet fluffy and soft to the touch. When you accidentally leaned on the walls coming in, you were sure you’d fall through, only to find them just as supportive as any wall of wood or brick. And when you faceplanted on the floor from overreacting to your initial fear of falling through the wall, you discovered the pain was much worse on your ego than your face.
The couch is wonderfully plush and cozy, too. Everything about Rainbow’s house, while new and alien to you, helps you feel a bit more at ease. In fact, you almost forget about the news you know you eventually have to deliver.
Almost.
Rainbow plops down on the couch next to you, putting her hind legs up on an ottoman before turning to face you. Her glee pierces you as well as any spear could.
You wish you had the ability to be subtle, to build things up in such a way you could let Rainbow down easy, but that had always been beyond you. Turning from Rainbow, you consider keeping the news to yourself. You could try having a relationship with her, leave the past in the past, move forward without batting an eye.
Chuckling to yourself, you shake your head. There’s no way in hell you would let yourself do that. Not in a million years.
Your thoughts turn inexorably back to four hours before this moment. Four hours ago, when everything was fine.
“Can’t say this is the way I’d’ve done it, but I s’ppose I’ve never really understood humans.”
You smile down at Applejack and ruffle her mane, making her jerk back and hold her hat down while frowning at you.
“You’re still in the dog house, bud. Don’t be gettin’ all touchy-feely on me.”
Sighing, you put your hand on your hips. “Alright, alright. We meeting here still?”
“Yeah. Once you’re done takin’ Rainbow to dinner, come back here. I’ll probably be waitin’ under that tree over there,” says Applejack, pointing. You make note of the tree and nod.
“Wish me luck.” Looking down, you adjust your tie and try giving Applejack a smile. She remains serious.
“Hun, this ain’t got nothin’ to do with ‘luck’ and you know it.”
You wish she knew how to lighten up a little in situations such as this. All you want is some encouragement, not forgiveness or even generosity. How do you tell her that without pissing her off further, though? No, you decide it’s something best left for later.
You start off, waving over your shoulder. “See ya, AJ.”
“I’ll be here,” she says, waving back.
The walk to the restaurant you picked out isn’t too far, but it is exhausting. Your feet feel like lead weights that get heavier with each step. You’d tried to act confident around AJ, but the truth is, you don’t even know if you have the conviction to go through with it. No matter what you do, there’s no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’. Just murkiness and clouds.
Rainbow’s already waiting for you, a few minutes early by your watch, but what else did you expect? She probably thinks this whole thing will turn out the opposite of what you have planned. What kind of monster invites a mare out to a fancy dinner just to tell her she’s got no chance?
Ah, yes. You.
Greeting her with the best smile you can, the two of you bump fist to hoof before heading inside. Rainbow makes a comment about the place; it’s much fancier than what she usually eats, and typically doesn’t care for it. A familiar pang rises up within you at the words, but you simply take a deep breath and offer a lukewarm agreement.
The air seems stuffy.
“Hello? Anypony in there?” Rainbow pokes at your head and you come out of your reverie, blinking.
“Sorry about that. Just... thinking.”
“Heh, better be careful about that. Might hurt yourself,” says Rainbow, smirking.
“Yeah, yeah.” You give her a playful shove for her attitude.
If only you could just relax and chat with her, have a good evening, maybe play a game over drinks or go out on a walk, then you’d be okay for the night. Don’t you deserve at least some comfort? Sighing, you lean back into the couch. It’s hard to think in this miasma. Maybe tonight, you should let your heart say the words instead of your head.
“Okay, now that you’re hangin’ with the Dash, I’m going to lay down all the benefits you get to enjoy.” Dash stand up on her hind legs, gesturing with her forelegs. “First, ponies get to see you chilling with me, so that alone will make you twice as famous as you are now. Second, you are now privy to the greatest aerial displaying in all of Equestria and, if you’re lucky, I might take you for a spin every once in a while. Third, I’m the master of local weather, which means whatever you want, you get. Lastly,” she leans in toward you, batting her eyelashes, “I’m a spectacular kisser.”
Raising an eyebrow, you cross your arms at her, saying nothing, just holding the stare.
“Too much, huh,” she says, breaking the stare.
“Even for you. Though you had me going till the last part.”
“Hey!” She punches you in the shoulder. “I’ll have you know I really am a good kisser!”
You almost let yourself laugh, but cut it off into a cough. It was so easy to make a joke there, even though you knew you should’ve. Before this goes any further, you have to stop it. Rainbow deserves the truth without you shoving what could be in her face.
Shifting yourself so you face Rainbow, you begrudgingly start your confession. “Look, Rainbow, I’ve gotta—”
“Hold that thought! I just realized we don’t have drinks!” She rushes off to the kitchen, leaving you, mouth hanging open and bewildered on the couch. “What do you want?”
“Just, just water is fine.”
“Aww, c’mon! Have some punch at least.”
You lean back into the cloud couch, shaking your head. “Alright. Punch, then.”
The sound of clinking glasses comes from the kitchen, filling your ears with an odd background noise to the rushing thoughts in your head. You curse your weakness, your inability to do what needed to be done. You can hear the voices ringing in the back of your mind, the logical part of your brain telling you things would only get worse with time, that it’s not worth it to wait, that everything will be so much better if you forge on. But that part of your head has always been there, hasn’t it? And it’s so much easier to know the path to take than to walk it.
Leaning forward, you rest your chin on your hand, thinking, staring blankly to the kitchen, listening to the sounds of dishware and humming.
If only she knew how much harder she was making this.
“They charge how much for a lavender salad?” says Rainbow, jerking her head back in surprise.
“C’mon, Rainbow, it’s a fancy place. Of course they’re going to charge extra. It comes with the package.”
She rolls her eyes and says, “Whatever,” before looking back to her menu.
Things actually started off a bit better than you thought they would. Though, honestly, anything other than a cataclysm would be ‘better than you thought’. All you can picture right now is Rainbow crying as you tell her what you came here to say, shooting back a look of disgust as she storms out the door. Well, she might not cry, actually. She may sock you in the face instead. It would be nothing less than you deserve. Hell, a good one-two may even make you feel a little better.
You decide to talk instead of letting your morbid thoughts eat you. “I’m thinking about the ranch salad and a side of fruit. How about you?”
“Right now I’m thinking about how much it’s going to cost for me to use my napkin.”
“Rainbow...”
She gives you a cheeky smile. “Couldn’t resist. But I’m still thinking about my meal. As much as they may charge, they have some pretty delicious-sounding stuff here.” She sets the menu down and looks at you. “Have you even had some of the nuts and oats they serve at an air show? Man, that slop is so unhealthy but I can’t help myself, especially the Wonderbolts’ shows. Sometimes I think that’s the reason I really want to be one.”
You laugh, but it comes out forced. Luckily, Rainbow is still busying herself with her menu, either not noticing or not caring about your sincerity. This isn’t how dates should go, you think. Could this even be called a date? It’s just the two of you, and there’s the pretense of a relationship... at least on one side of the table. Seeing as you’re “dumping” Rainbow at the end of all of this, you’d technically have to be dating her in the first place, so...
You shake your head, hiding briefly behind your menu. Dating has never been simple, though you don’t think you’d have it any other way. This is just one of the low points.
“Hey, Stalky.”
You lower the menu and look at Rainbow, curious.
“There a specific reason you took me out to this restaurant or somethin’?”
Drat. So much for stalling. It occurs to you Rainbow just gave you a fantastic prompt to get this conversation done and over with, but...
“No specific reason,” you say, faking the best smile you could. “Just wanted to take you out for a meal. Nothing wrong with that, right?”
“Yeah. Nothing wrong with that.”
Her tone does not agree with her words in the slightest.
Rainbow buzzes back into the room, drinks in hoof. She sets one down on the endtable next to you while taking a sip from her own. You ignore your drink, instead facing Rainbow and opening your mouth to continue your confession.
She never gives you the chance.
“So it may be a little late for an airshow, but I figure we can head down to the lake and catch a good view of some of the owls night hunting there. You should totally see the lake at night, too, if you haven’t already. The way the moon hits it, you can see the fish really clearly through the water and maybe pick out the ones the owls are about to grab.” Her words come out rushed, like she didn’t have the time to tell you everything interesting about the lake. The moment she finishes, she looks up to you expectantly.
All you offer is a weak half-smile. “Rainbow, it’s—”
“One sec!” She snatches her glass and starts chugging. Lumps of liquid travel down her throat as she gulps rather loudly. Rolling your eyes, you shift in your seat and wait for her to finish. It feels like much more than a few seconds, but she’s done soon enough. “Oh! I forgot to mention you can see the Cloudsdale night crew charge up storm clouds from the lake as well, and there’s a storm due tomorrow so we’ll definitely catch a show!”
You make a quick mental check to see that eventually, but right now is not the time.
“There’s something important—”
“And let’s not forget about the full moon tonight! Prime lighting! Luna probably even planned—”
“Rainbow!” you yell, grabbing her hoof. She jerks back, locking her eyes to yours. “I came here not just to say I want to be with you, but that I can’t. It just... with everything that’s happened with Applejack, and the dinner, I should have told you there, and we—”
“D-don’t you think I know that?” she says to the ground, her voice deflating like an opened balloon. “You try to make yourself up like some mysterious, unsolvable puzzle, but you’re really easy to read. As soon as I saw your face when you sat down, I knew where this conversation was going... and I knew why. I just didn’t want to hear it. I wanted to have my delusion, if only for a little while. Weren’t you at least a little suspicious when I didn’t ask if AJ was okay with it?”
You blink, eyes wide in shock, and try to choke out a reply. Nothing comes to mind.
“Say something!” Her eyes plead with you, teetering between anger and sorrow.
“Look, Rainbow, I know you’re supposed to be the Loyal one, but it’s okay to want to wish for something like that, even if you know you can’t have it.” Laying a hand on her hoof, you meet her gaze with yours, trying to calm her down, let her know your regret and that you don’t hold her wishes against her.
Sneering, she snatches her hoof away from your touch. “Flapping idiot! I’m not mad at myself! Loyalty... you think you know what it means to be the Element of Loyalty? It means you do what’s best for your friends, even when it hurts. It means you look out for them, no matter how much they might not care for themselves. It means you dig down, as deep as you can, and... and...” She fidgets for a moment, trying to come up with the words. “Gah! I’m no good at these kind of things. Loyalty is just, it’s just being a friend, even if everything else is screaming at you not to be.” Her head sinks. “Even if everything inside is screaming at you not to be.”
“Rainbow, I’m sorry—”
“No!” she barks, hopping off the couch. “It’s not me you need to apologize to! I knew this could happen, and I’ve accepted that we can’t, well, that we can’t be together. I’ll live with it. But I think there’s another pony who can’t. Who shouldn’t have to.”
All you can do is gape and set your jaw, searching for the words that would explain everything. Rainbow’s stare pierces you, pleading silently, attempting to pull your heart from the cage of cold steel you’d locked it in.
You look away from her, fearing she may succeed. “It’s not that simple anymore, Rainbow.”
The blow comes from nowhere, jerking your head to the side as Rainbow follows through. You put a hand to your mouth and it comes away bloody. Silence holds the room for a moment as you look between your hand and Rainbow in disbelief.
“Yes it is that simple, idiot! And you know what makes it so freakin’ stupid? The grand irony of it all? It’s not about pride! If you were any other stallion in existence, the only thing keeping you here would be the fact you’re too darn uppity to go back and apologize! But noooo,” yells Rainbow, hovering her face into yours, ignoring the blood coming from the corner of your mouth, “you have yourself pegged as some kind of martyr who’s gonna save Applejack from yourself before she actually starts caring about you. Well news flash, bud, it’s too late for that!”
Grunting, you shove Rainbow back, the confusion on your face turned to anger. “I never would have given her the attention she deserved. There’s too much behind me, dragging me down. It’s better this way.”
“And where in Equestria did you get the idea you never deserved her?” Rainbow zooms right back up to your, prodding your chest with a hoof. “What the heck could you have done to not deserve her? Everything I know about you, everything, says differently. Your actions are say you’re a good person, but your head is determined to pull you down ‘till you’re nothing!”
“I tried as hard as I could to keep it going, Rainbow!” you scream, standing up. “It didn’t work out!”
Rainbow is clearly unimpressed. “Remember what you asked me after that race?” She waves her hooves in air quotes. “‘How do you do that? Just shrug it off?’ That’s you preparing for failure before anything’s even begun. I said, ‘practice’, but you know what the truth is? Every loss destroys me. Breaks me into a hundred little pieces that I have to fly around and collect just to have together so they can be cast apart again. Only in my ambition am I vulnerable, and only in my ambition am I invincible. I don’t ‘shrug it off’, it just looks that way. But I’m able to go again and again and again because the world still doesn’t recognize my name, and because I know, in the end, the only one that can really stop me is myself.
“You? You’re a born loser with that attitude. You go at life with half-attempts and mediocre effort so that when loss does find you, it doesn’t hurt. The closer you get to success, the more you fear it until eventually you’re sabotaging yourself, just like you did with Applejack. You deserve her and she deserves you, you know that. You just can’t handle the fact you might be happy for once.”
There it is, laid bare. You’d protest, but the more Rainbow had said, the more you realized she was right. Laying back into the couch, you let out a long, heavy breath, thinking on her words, searching for your own answer. The two of you sit in silence but for the beating of your heart and the panting coming from Rainbow.
“L-look, I know I got kind of carried away. Sorry for yelling. Not sorry for the words, though. You’re still an idiot.”
And why should she be sorry? you ask yourself, thoughts suddenly falling back with razor-sharp focus to your conversation last night with Luna.
“You must ask yourself the correct questions, subject. No one can ask them for you.”
As burning ignites within your chest, a purpose, strong as the one you felt on that bench yesterday. You stand up without a word.
“Hey! Where are you going?”
You pause a moment, looking between Rainbow and the doors. “North.”
As much as you love dramatic exits, your bravado was cut short when you realized there was no way off the cloud without Rainbow’s help. She was more than happy, of course. Said she would have insisted on coming with you anyways.
Which brings you to where you stand now, outside the Apples’ house, one hand raised, about to knock on the door. Rainbow’s a little behind you, to your right. You can hear her nervous panting; it sounds exactly like how you feel. You’d hesitated enough tonight. With as much boldness as you can muster, you knock on the door. Three succinct, powerful knocks.
Big Mac is the one to answer the door, opening it with a creak. The moment he lays eyes on you, you can tell he’s less than pleased to see you. In fact, as he spins around and lifts his hind legs into the air, you realize he’s not content attacking with only bitter looks.
The buck blasts you clear of the doorway and a solid four feet back, landing you on your back hard, knocking the wind out of you. In a second, he’s on top of you, snorting fury into your face. If Rainbow hadn’t been there, you don’t know how long you’d have lasted.
“Big Mac! He’s here to help, not gloat, you haybrain!” She struggles to push him off, but he’s content with glaring daggers into your face from inches away.
“I warned you, stranger. I thought you got the message. If you ain’t smart enough to learn the first time, though, I’ll gladly give you another lesson!” He lifts up a hoof to smash your face in, but Rainbow grabs it and holds him back. Even using her entire body, you can tell she’s having trouble.
“Dang it, Big Mac, you’re not helping!”
He directs his anger to her for a moment. “Why you protectin’ this vermin? He made my sis’ cry in front ‘ta Apple Bloom! How’s she s’pposed to deal with that at her age?”
Rainbow’s grip weakens and both your faces lit up with shock.
“She... cried?” you ask.
Big Mac turns back to you, shaking his hoof free of the still-bewildered Rainbow. “O’ course she did, you dirt-kicking, worthless little—”
“Whatcha doin’, big brother?”
His faces drains of anger, flashing horror before he turns to give Apple Bloom the most neutral smile he can muster. “I was jus’—”
“We were messing around,” you say, sharing a glance with Big Mac before turning back to Apple Bloom. “Nothing more.”
She frowns, downtrodden for a moment before bouncing over to you, getting a good look at your face. It occurs to you you never cleaned up after Rainbow hit you, and now you’ve probably got dirt all over yourself as well. You offer Apple Bloom a shrug and a smile. “How are you doing?”
“I’m not the one with dirt in my face. Granny’d get mad at me for walkin’ around like that.” She turns to her brother, frowning. “Why’d you go and have to do that? Now he’s gotta clean up.”
Big Mac glances to his sister, keeping one eye trained on you the entire time. “Jus’ in good fun.”
“Well, get off him, we gotta get him inside and clean that dirt off.”
“I’m not sure—”
“If ya don’t, I’ll have to get Granny to get you two ta stop playin’ around.”
The irony of such a young filly bossing around the towering stallion that is Big Mac around isn’t lost on you. If the situation weren’t so dire, you’d be laughing. With a groan, he steps off of you, though not losing sight of you for a second. Rainbow helps you up and you brush yourself off before turning to Apple Bloom.
“Why don’t we go inside, then?”
She flashes you a grin, bounding inside. Just before you can follow after her, Big Mac gives you a not-so-friendly nudge, almost knocking you back down. The two of you share a glare before crossing the threshold.
The Apple house is warm and inviting as it always is, albeit soured by the angry red stallion sharing the kitchen with you, Rainbow and Apple Bloom. The rustic aura is complemented by the creak of the wood floor as you walk. You shrug Big Mac’s presence off, trying to keep you thoughts focused on the task at hand: finding Applejack. To the best of your knowledge, she’s in her room.
Crying.
You shake your head, trying to get the image out. Only one other time had you seen her cry: not even a week ago, facing the sunset on that grassy hill. Tears did not become Applejack. They spoiled a face made for smiling, eyes made for looking forward, cheeks made to brush a hand against. A mare that strong should never cry.
Reluctantly, you move over to the sink and start the water without a word, unsure what to say or even who to say it to. Your hands move sluggishly to the water, carrying something heavier than the droplets you now splash on your face.
“Hey, um, maybe...?” It’s Rainbow.
“Yeah.” Shaking your hands free of the water, you wipe them and your face before turning around. You look Big Mac right in the eyes, taking on the full brunt of his grimace. “Where’s AJ?”
“She went—” Apple Bloom starts, but Big Mac holds up a hoof to silence her. You figured it’d be like this.
“Why should I tell you?”
Pouting, Apple Bloom began to bounce up and down next to her brother. “Why don’t you tell him, big bro? He’s a really nice stallion!”
“He ain’t no stallion.”
His words are ice, settling upon the scene like hail. Never, during your entire time with the Apples, had anypony brought up your species as a negative.
“What I am doesn’t matter. I love Applejack.”
You only manage to anger him further. “Maybe you shoulda figured that out before you sent her here as you did.”
A small squeak comes from Apple Bloom. If she hadn’t realized how AJ got in her state, she sure did now.
Closing your eyes, you tilt your head downward. “I made a mistake, Big Mac. Everyone does, though my mistake was much worse than most, and yet lies unforgiven.”
“Darn right it is.”
“I need a chance to make it right.”
“I think you had your chance.”
“There are such things as second chances.”
“Maybe where you come from.”
“I can help her, Big Mac.”
“You’ve helped quite enough, Twig.”
With each exchange, you voices become louder and more irritated, grating on the peace of the Apple house like a sandpaper. You pinch the bridge of your nose in an effort to calm down.
“Believe me when I say this is the most important thing I could do in my entire life. I love her, Big Mac. Let me tell her that one more time. Let me stop her crying, I want to help, please.”
You can feel your lips quivering as the words leave them.The last word comes out as more than a plead; a grovel, more like, an appeal to the part of him that knows mercy.
He says nothing at first, only glaring at you, followed by a snort. He opens his mouth to give a reply, but is cut off.
“She ran off to the mountain, colt. Probably made it all the way there and then some by now.”
You recognize the old, craggy, yet sage voice of Granny Smith right away, eyes darting to where she stands behind Big Mac. The rest of the room reacts in much the same way.
“The mountain? Yevantatsuun?”
“Eh?” She leans an ear toward you. “You know it’s name? Yeah, she ran off to Dragon Mountain. Hardly let ol’ Big Mac and myself get off a word before she booked it.”
With the most humble smile capable, you clasp your hands together in front of you. “Thank you. Thank you thank you thank you. You won’t regret this.”
“‘Course I won’t. Macintosh here don’t know how love glints the eyes, but I see it well enough in yours.”
It’s Apple Bloom’s turn to speak up. “How does it look?” She’s glancing back and forth between Granny and you, trying to find what Big Mac could not.
Granny mumbles to herself a moment, taking a step forward before answering. “Like ya got a rock stuck in your horseshoe, Little Bloom.”
You smile one last time at Granny, then look to Rainbow. The two of you share a razor-sharp stare, nodding once before you head for the door, Rainbow right in front of you. A few steps before the door, you nod to Big Mac, letting him know all he needs to know in that gesture before you and Rainbow disappear into the night.
Granny, Apple Bloom and Big Mac all step out to the front porch, squinting at the sky in order to make out the fading form of Rainbow flying you North. Big Mac whinnies and shifts restlessly.
“I still don’t see it.”
The ground below you is a blur, whizzing by as Rainbow flies the two of you toward the mountain. The familiar feeling of flight is exhilarating, but you can’t lose yourself in it; too much else lies in your thoughts. Rainbow carries you as far as she can before exhausting herself, which ends up being almost all the way to your destination. Before you land, you think you can make out a spot of orange on the path upward—it’s hard to tell in the shadow of the mountain.
Your flight stops somewhat abruptly, forcing you to roll as your feet hit the ground. Dash slumps over beside you, panting like a dog. Concerned, you get up to check on her, but she shakes her head and waves you off.
“Something... more important... than me,” she manages to get out through her breaths.
You nod, giving her a pat on the back in appreciation before taking off up the mountain path. AJ’s close, you know it.
After several minutes of running you still haven’t seen Applejack, and you’re a decent way up the mountain but also tiring quickly. Making a mental note never to question her endurance, you set off after a short breather, this time pacing yourself a bit better. You regulate your breathing, taking in the scent of the night and letting the twilight’s cool, clear air cut through you. With each step your eyes sharpen, attention fixed on the path before you, though your mind is elsewhere.
To tell the truth, you haven’t even thought of what to say when you see her. ‘I’m sorry?’ ‘Take me back?’ Something like that might work with her, but she deserved something more... honest. From the heart. You smirk to yourself, picking up the pace. It’s a good thing you know exactly what you came here for.
So deep in your thoughts you are that you miss a small sign to the side of the road. No one could really blame you for it; it’s a small sign, made for ponies, off practically hidden in the bushes. It had been placed on the path after the last time a certain group of ponies had scaled the mountain in an effort to avoid the same incident that had befallen them.
The lonely sign is left in the dust. Its message, “Avalanche area,” is kept to itself for now.
You’re forced to slow down just a bit when you come upon the next portion of the path as rocks, boulders, and hills of dirt make the earth difficult to get by. Luckily, however, you don’t need to get far. Not far ahead is the orange coat and brown stetson you know so well. A wave of euphoria washes over you, almost taking your balance. Steadying yourself, you can’t help but grin.
“Applejack!”
Two things happen at once.
The first is Applejack’s reaction; turning around, eyes wide and bloodshot, locking her vision on you. That wonderful shade of green lifts your spirits higher than ever.
The second is a deep, terrible rumbling. Had you seen the sign earlier, you’d have known exactly what is happening, but as you stand, you’re nothing more than confused. The following seconds make your situation abundantly clear. Rocks, some as small as your thumb and others triple your size, start rolling down the cliff face above you.
Glancing between Applejack and the avalanche, you start to run toward her but she shakes her head and waves you back, galloping your direction. There’s no time to think, only react. Your brain and chest are on fire, the former overwhelmed by the situation and the latter worn from your journey here. You spin around and sprint back the way you came, keeping your feet despite the litter of rocks and dirt. When you feel you’re clear, you turn around, locking your gaze on Applejack, whispering to yourself, “C’mon, c’mon, c’mon.”
She can’t get hurt. Not when you’re so close. Not when you’ve finally found your destination. Not when everything is so clear.
Her body betrays her urgency, legs pumping like a machine as she gallops, eyes focused with determination at her goal. They flicker upward at the raining boulders, allowing her to duck in and out of them. And she’s fast. So fast.
Just not fast enough.
One takes her full in the side, colliding with a sickening crunch of bones and pain and a grunt from Applejack. Its momentum sends her body flying clear of the mountain’s edge.
Your heart seizes, your chest tightens and your mouth widens in a silent scream, horror stealing the air from your lungs.
No!
‘AJ’ regains her composure first, leaning up against a wall with a smirk.
“You were jus’ waitin’ to do that, weren’t you?”
You grin, taking another bite from your apple. “You’re pretty quick. Maybe I was.”
“You know, you coulda just said, ‘Howdy’ when you first saw us and avoided this whole mess.”
You were in no condition for civil conversation back then, but you weren’t about to admit that to her. “Probably. This way was much more fun, though.”
“You can talk?!” comes a shout from Rainbow.
All you offer her is a raised eyebrow, slightly amused albeit confused by her slowness. AJ does the berating for you.
“O’ course he can, you dunce!” She gives her friend a light smack upside the head. “An’ I thought you were s’pposed to be the fast one! Go get Fluttershy back here, let her know.”
“Yeah, yeah,” grumbles Rainbow, slinking off to get Fluttershy.
You turn back to AJ. “So I take it you’ve never seen anything like me before.”
“Sure haven’t.” She walks up closer to you, eyes wandering over your body as she inspects you. “Wha’chu called?”
“My species? I dunno, maybe I should keep that to myself. You ponies seem an awful aggressive type.” You tap the bruise Rainbow’s buck left for emphasis.
“That’s just Rainbow. An’ we fed you, didn’t we?” She grins. “‘Sides, I’d hate to have to add another one just to get you to talk.”
“I suppose you did give me some decent grub.” At this point, she’s moved close enough for you to feel her breath on your skin. The distance makes you a little uncomfortable, but you do your best to keep relaxed. “I’m a human.”
She’s too busy examining you to reply right away. It almost feels like her eyes are groping you.
“You eye up every male you meet like this?”
The jab takes a second to register, and in that time you thought you’d made some social blunder. However, AJ throws her head back and laughs, allowing you to let out a sigh of relief and chuckle along with her.
“I like you.” She holds out a hoof. You hesitate a moment before taking it. “Name’s Applejack.”
You give her yours, finding her hoofshake just as strong as she appeared.
“I think we’re gonna get along just fine.”
I Only Go Outside When It's Raining
“Mind if I take this seat, sir?”
The speaker is that strange middle-aged pony, the one that’s been almost following you around the past few days talking about history and magic. His black mane and dark eyes pierce your own as he looks down at you.
“Not at all.” There’s plenty of room to sit, as the room had been empty outside of you and a familiar stetson on the pew nearby. You were actually curious as to how he got in here without you hearing him. Must have been lost in thought.
That had been happening a lot to you, recently.
“How long has it been, then?” he asks.
“Two weeks, six hours, eight minutes.” You’d take the memory of that fall with you to the grave.
The stranger nods and looks forward with you. You consider asking him what brought him here, but preferred the silence. Besides, you already had a pretty good guess.
“What is it about boxes, I wonder? We seem so interested in putting so much inside of boxes: plain, boring, unimaginative things they are.” He turns to you. “I’ve always thought the raw form of things are more interesting. And if we are going to insist on putting everything in some container, why not a cylinder? Or sphere? Or anything else besides a mundane old box?”
You close your eyes and pinch the bridge of your nose. Not the time for a philosopher, I think.
“Ah, of course. You’re probably not interested in such things. Especially not now.” He bows his head in apology.
Now you’re wondering why he’s got the urge to strike up a conversation. This room reverberates the sounds within it—a prison of noise. There are no shutters or drapes on the two windows, but the sun had set long ago. Twenty by twenty square feet of solitude, and it had been perfectly sufferable all day in silence. Why come in here and disturb things?
You sigh, though it comes out a bit louder than you anticipated. No excuse to get short with him, he’s probably not comfortable here, either. You suspect conversation was one of his coping mechanisms. How ironic that yours is keeping quiet.
“Been here long?”
That question chokes a scoff out of you. Been here long. Who is this guy? You cross your arms on the pew in front of you and bury your head in them. Almost a year, now. A year since...
“Catch, AJ!” An apple buzzes towards the orange pony, ‘AJ’, you assume, and she snatches it out of the air.
“Consarnit, Rainbow, I’m trying to harvest, here! This ain’t the time for lolly-gaggin and horseshoes!”
Apples. Oh, god, you are so hungry. Your shuffle becomes more urgent as you make your way towards the talking animals. You won’t let your body collapse this close to your goal.
“And I’m helping! Here’s another!”
A second apple flies out of the tree, zipping in AJ’s direction. She kicks it into a nearby bushel. “No, ya ain’t! An’ why don’t you have weather duty?”
The head of another pony, this one cyan, pops out of a nearby apple tree. “Oh, c’mon, my boss only gives me the work of one ordinary pegasus. Work I’m able to finish in a couple of hours. Besides, it’s—” her voice cuts off when she spots you. You’re beyond caring. You see food, now. It’s all that matters. Your eyes widen as you approach the bushel AJ had been filling.
“What the heck is that?”
AJ spins to face you. “Sweet Celestia, I ain’t never seen a creature like that!”
The memory of apples fills your mind: the sweet juiciness, the resistance it gives as you bite into it, the feeling of red delicious dripping down your chin. You need it, now more than ever. You urge your feet onward, faster.
“It’s coming after you, AJ!” Rainbow leaps out of the tree and lands between you and your apples, then strikes the ground with a forehoof. “Bring it on!”
AJ leers at you cautiously. “I’m not so sure, Rainbow. It doesn’t look very, er, healthy. I think somethin’s wrong with it.”
Closer, closer...
“It’s just playing with us. I bet it’ll try to eat us once we let our guard down.” The glare Rainbow is giving you could melt a steel beam. Your cognitive functions are long gone, though. You need those apples.
“Eat us? Ya really think so? I mean, it looks like it’d have a hard time fittin’ a full-grown pony in that belly.” AJ is wandering out from behind Rainbow.
Almost there...
“Not happenin’, bud!” Rainbow spins around leans forward on her forelegs.
“Rainbow, no!”
Pain. You’re on the ground, but you can’t really comprehend why. The world is spinning around you. Panting, you look around, trying to figure out what happened. And where were those apples? Something blocks the noonday sun from your eyes. It’s just a silhouette at first, but after a few seconds you can make out a color: green. Two rings, unabashedly jade in hue.
They were beautiful.
“Long enough,” you reply.
He lets out a deep chuckle. “I know the feeling. You see the sun rise and set, over and over, and you think one day it’s just got to stop; you’ve seen it so many times you don’t even know what it’s supposed to mean any more, or even if it’s supposed to mean anything at all.” Turning away, he drops his head again. “Ah, sorry. Not the time.”
The room feels colder. You rub your bare arms to warm up, swearing it wasn’t this chilly outside. You shake your head; it must just be your mind playing with you, but you put the stetson on for comfort anyways. Your brain is protesting all the work you’d put it through in the last couple weeks, but it’s the only way you could keep the pain at bay.
There is a hurricane raging inside of you, tearing up memories and thoughts and throwing them about like snowballs as they smash against the corners of your mind. At the eye of the storm, both creating and calming it, is that radiant, orange-coated mare. You curl one of your hands into a first and strike the pew it rests on. What the fuck was all of this good for, if all you’re going to be doing in the end is sitting in an empty room feeling sorry for yourself? Is there really no recompense? No purpose?
“It has to do with ripples.”
You glare over at the stallion next to you, but his gaze is forward, ignoring you.
“A drop of water in a still pond creates ripples that shock the entire surface, if only for a few moments. It’s an effect that cannot be refused or disregarded; something unique and magnificent. That’s what’s in a life, friend. Ripples.” He pauses and closes his eyes. “Only, the world is an ocean, and it’s raining.”
“And what the hell do you know about ripples, old stallion? We making ripples just sitting here? Seems pretty stupid to me. I’d prefer to define my life by what it is, not by what some philosopher calls it while sitting up in a tower, alone with his books.” You clench your teeth in an effort to keep yourself from talking further. If this kept up, you know you would lose your temper.
You take several deep breaths. Wouldn’t do to get riled up like this. She wouldn’t want that. You straighten your back and lean against the back of the pew, letting out one more lungful of air. Concentrating, you try to force a smile. No such luck.
What you need right now is a good drink. Maybe a lager or some well-aged scotch would help.
What you get is more yapping.
“You two must have quite a history.”
That was a perfect way to sour your mood further. He didn’t have the decency to straight-out ask the question, so he instead implied it.
The memories come anyway.
Your lungs are about to burst and your legs object to every movement, but you have to keep sprinting.
“I don’t think I’m any good at this ‘herding’ thing, AJ!”
Applejack isn’t far behind you, but safely to the side of the raging horde. There’s a rope looped around her neck. “You ain’t kiddin’!” You catch a touch of mockery in her reply. You’d smirk if your attention wasn’t required elsewhere.
“Hold on!” says AJ, grabbing the lasso. She starts to swing it above her head; you can see the razor-sharp concentration in her face. There’s no doubt in your mind she’ll get you out of this.
With a grunt, AJ launches the loop into the air. You can hear it whistle. Her aim is true, and the lasso grabs the lead cow. You give a quick whoop and continue on your path while Applejack directs the herd away. As soon as you’re clear, you put your hands on your knees and bend over, panting like a dog. You may be in shape, but outrunning a stampede of cows is exhausting no matter what world you’re in. Just the idea of rampaging cows was strange. Once your breathing becomes relatively normal, you head back toward the barn. AJ’s waiting for you there, leaning up against the barn doors.
She wears a grin as big as that hat of hers. “What’d ya do without me?”
You roll your eyes, but she’s earned gloating rights. “Probably be flattened into cow patties.”
“I don’t think I’’ve ever seen somepony lose control of a herd so quickly.” Her eyes go skyward. “Though Apple Bloom came close.”
“You let Apple Bloom try shepherding?”
“Nah, she got herself into that mess.” AJ walks up to you and jabs your side with a hoof. “But yous s’pposed to be a responsible a-dult.” She’s on the verge of giggling at her own quip.
You let your demeanor turn serious for a moment. “Applejack.” Her gaze turns inquisitive as you lay a hand on her back. “Thanks. I mean it.”
She turns away, blushing. “Aw, you don’t haveta mention a silly ol’ thing like that.” Her eyes dart back at you. “But I ‘preciate the sentiment.”
You rub her back a little before removing your hand. “Bout time for lunch, I’d say.” Wiping the sweat from your brow, you start toward the farmhouse. AJ seems... hesitant, though. Like there are unspoken words trapped inside of her. You just shrug to yourself and decide to give her a moment to herself.
She’s a pretty cool pony, you say to yourself.
You find yourself crying. You touch your face, wiping a tear away and holding your hand out to stare at it. Over two weeks since the accident, and you hadn’t cried once. Yet, these are definitely tears. You brush the rest of them off of your face, trying to make sense of it.
But things don’t make sense. Not here, not today.
“You’re looking at those tears like you’ve never seen anything like them before.”
You shake your head. “Just... wasn’t expecting them.”
“Already done your crying, then?”
“No. Never started.”
Your compatriot smiles and nods. “Nows a good a time as any. Never really know when you’ll run out of it.”
He’s starting to talk strange again. “Time, or tears?”
“Both.”
Wasn’t that the truth. She certainly wasn’t expecting it when it happened to her. You shiver and rub your hands against your arms in an effort to warm them up. It’s late; you shouldn’t still be here. Something holds you back, though.
“Dark outside.”
Well, isn’t he just a regular Einstein. “Yes, it is.”
“You planning on heading home anytime soon?”
You squint at him. What business of his was that? “I’ll leave when I need to.”
“Travel is Dangerous. Especially by yourself, once the Sun has set and the night has taken over.”
“I already know where I’m headed. I’ll be fine.”
“Just as you are now?” He keeps his face calm, almost serene. Like he has a wealth of knowledge behind those eyes. It only manages to frustrate you further, so you turn away to avoid snapping at him.
You had always considered yourself a strong person. Not just in body, but in mind as well. A font of endurance and stability. That’s what drew you to her in the first place. The two of you were similar in a thousand ways... and yet so radically different. You’d been raised by your mother in the suburbs; gone to decent schools, even spent a couple years in community college. Your mom had died when you were still fairly young, though, and the state took care of you for a while. The mare, on the other hand, always had a home full of family to learn from, to look up to. Never gone to school past the pony equivalent of high school, but she was still sharp as a tack. She had a practical kind of smarts, one you truly respected.
You can’t remember how many days you two spent out in the fields, working dawn to dusk, laughing, chatting, learning. That pain is starting to come back. You bury your face in your hands. The tears have passed, but their shadows still linger. It is an unrestricted darkness, looming over your psyche, threatening to drive you to hysteria and insanity.
And she isn’t there to drive it back.
You look to the large wooden box at the front of the room, polished to a clean shine, half-open with flowers scattered about. You know what kept you here.
It’s guilt.
The moon is full tonight. You and Applejack walk side-by-side down the road, not far from Sweet Apple Acres now. The sound of her hoofsteps fills your ears, drowned out only by the sweet nectar of her voice.
“Ain’t never expected you to take a pony out for a fancy dinner like that. I’ll be honest, I didn’t know what to expect when you came back. From the looks of it, though, things came out alright.”
You scratch the back of your head. She was right, but only half-right. You squint at the sky. Damn, the moon is bright.
AJ notices your silence. “I ain’t made-a flowers, sugarcube. Speak your mind.”
You’re facing the dirt, face red as a beet. The words are there, but you just can’t lend them your voice. They are corrupt, filthy things. Don’t deserve to be said.
But hadn’t Applejack earned your honesty? Out of anypony, isn’t she worthy of the truth? You clench your fists to the point of pain. You can even feel your fingernails dig into your palms.
“I, I can’t do this, AJ.”
Just like that, it’s out there. The scared little boy from Earth can’t keep his damn insecurities to himself. Can’t open his mind just a crack and let somepony—no, someONE else in. She is just as alive, just as intelligent and thinking as you are.
“It’s Alice, ain’t it.”
You cede the answer with your silence. Both your and AJ’s walking pace have slowed considerably.
“Well, I can’t rightly change anythin’ about that. I tried, but to be honest, I wouldn’t want to any more. I’ve always respected your commitment to the past. You’re alone in a world you feel like you don’t belong in, stickin’ out like the moon in a sky of stars, but you never lost who ya were.” She pauses and stops in her tracks. “And if ya ain’t one to see yourself with me, then I oughta respect that, too.”
There’s no way you deserve a woman like her. She has twice the respect for you that you have for yourself.
“I’m... sorry, Applejack. I wanted this to work out.” You words tumble out of your mouth like pebbles rolling down a hill.
She starts trotting back home, leaving you with one last thought. “I reckon, at one point, you really did.”
You fall to the ground, dropping your head into your hands, again defeated by your greatest fear, your worst enemy:
Yourself.
The room was a terrible shelter from your memories. It only trapped you in them, drowned you in them.
“I wonder if the story ends here, then?”
You scowl at the pony. The entire night you’d fought to keep control, stay polite, but he was on a mission to piss you off.
He met your gaze with that frustrating composure of his. “Why do you think she’s in there?”
You burst from your seat and slam a fist down onto the pew. “Why is she here? Because I killed her, that’s why! She’s dead, and I’ve made myself alone again! We screw ourselves up until there’s nothing left of the person we were! That’s how the world FUCKING works! You give and you give and you give until you’ve got nothing left, and when you think it couldn’t ask for more, it does, but when you’ve nothing to give besides your life, it starts taking from those around you!” You’re yelling right into his face, almost spitting at him.
The stallion never flinches, though. “That’s how Earth works, sir. This is Equestria.”
You throw your arms in the air. “Oh, so we have the goddamn magic of friendship to make everyone feel better and every day ends with a smile because we’re all just so happy!” Leaning in to the point where your noses are touching, you lower your voice to a hoarse growl. “Death doesn’t care where you die. Just that you fucking die.”
His eyes narrow, finally showing some emotion. “And what makes you think that? What makes you so sure you know how Equestria works? You, who came here not even a year ago. You don’t even know my name. How would you know what I do and do not care about?”
With a scoff, you turn and walk away from him, putting your hands to your hips. You hate dealing with know-it-alls like him. So sure of their opinions, so wrapped up in how things are supposed to work that they forget to see for themselves.
You walked over to the coffin in your rage and lay a hand on it in an effort to calm yourself. That night, under the full moon, you made the worst mistake of your life. You threw her away, and now you’d never get the chance to take her back. She is lost to you, to the world, forever. You rub your eyes and blink. No more time for that.
That dark-coated pony sits in the same spot, staring at you. Almost like he is waiting for something. “Why are you even here?” you ask.
“I’m here to make a decision. To see if you’re still blind, or maybe, for just a moment, you’ve learned how to see.”
You start pacing around the front of the room. “See? See what? That the most wonderful mare I’ve ever known is dead? That I’m helpless and despicable? Well, that’s real clear without some genius like you coming along and showing it to me.”
He has to be a sadist, some sick degenerate who draws joy only from the pain in others.
“But what if you could have her back? What did you really lose with her?”
That does it. You stomp up to him and grab the scruff of his mane, lifting him up to shout in his face. “Don’t you dare joke about this! It’s not some game that you’re the master of, it’s my life. My heart! You want to know what I lost? I, I lost—” Your voice falters as you wrack your brain. There were so many things lost when she left, but what did you lose, what was so important to you that you were here for the third day in a row, alone, prisoner to your own thoughts?
You drop the stallion and point him to the door. “You’ve done enough for one night. Get out.”
He gives you a short bow. “I don’t expect we’ll see each other again for a good long while. My suggestion is that you make the most of the time you have.” You turn around, listening to his ambling as he makes his way to the door. It opens with a creak. “The world isn’t fair, sir, but sometimes... sometimes it’s alright.” You hear another creak, and a click as the door shuts.
A sigh immediately leaves your mouth. That pony had scrambled your thoughts into a million pieces and it was all you could do to keep your head together. That question lingers, though. Stronger than anything else.
What did you really lose with her?
At first, it sounded condescending, like he was implying you’d lost nothing at all. The longer you think on it, however, the more it sounds like he was asking you what the most important thing was that you lost. For the life of you, you can’t answer. She was the Element of Honesty, but that isn’t it. You don’t lie to ponies and they don’t lie to you. She was dependable and genuine, but that isn’t it either; you’d learned those things growing up.
Your gaze lands on her old hat, the one Big Mac made you swear you’d take if she didn’t make it back. You always felt it should have stayed in her family, not with some human who had cast her aside, but he was vehement about it. He had the same kind of stubbornness as her sister. Must run in the family. Slowly, you reach down to pick the stetson up. It’s rough and rugged, just like its previous owner. The thing doesn’t sit right on your head, either. In no way is this yours, but here it is anyways.
Approaching the coffin, you allow your hopes to rise just a little. What if that dark-coated stallion was right? What if you could have her back? This world has magic, does it not? Your footsteps slow as you get close. You straighten your back and crane your neck, looking perilously at the empty coffin. Almost with a mind of its own, your hand reaches out, and just barely grazes the inner lining, hoping for anything.
But the world remains still.
You close your eyes and smile—a shallow smile, one meant only for the one who wears it—and lay the hat once again on your head. The patter of rain comes from the ceiling and the windows. That’s alright with you, because you only go outside when its raining. You know the way home.
Spinning on your heel, you make your way around the room, blowing out the candles lighting the area. This place is disgusting, horrendous, filthy to your eyes and venomous to your mind. The foulness is marred only by the idea of a serene sleeping mare in that box. You know what Applejack was trying to tell you when she left you alone on that road. Now you need to leave. You approach the coffin and lay your hand on it one last time, then pull out a key to lock the place up.
“Ya’d be an idiot to think death’d keep me away, sugarcube.”
The key falls to the floor, clinking against the ground. You dare to turn around. Your head moves slowly, so slowly, impossibly slow, a hundred years worth of thoughts racing through your mind in that one moment, contemplating that perhaps the one thing that could absolutely never happen just did.
It’s just a silhouette at first, but after a few seconds you can make out a color: green. Two rings, unabashedly jade in hue.
They were beautiful.
Epilogue: We Sit Beneath the Sky
“It was an absolute wreck! I mean, I’ve seen tornadoes go bad before, but this was the worst! Even Spitfire couldn’t get her jaw up off the ground!”
You imagine your face is quite similar to Spitfire’s, staring blankly at Rainbow as she tells her tale. Applejack is looking at you with a grin behind her cider mug, obviously enjoying your reaction.
“Did anyone get hurt?” you ask.
“Nah,” says Rainbow, slamming her cider on the table between the three of you. “Just some bruises.”
“I’d say somepony took a lil’ more than a bruise to her pride.”
You can’t help but grin at the comment. Smarmy Applejack.
“Hey! We got the water there eventually!”
“So you did.” Applejack concedes the point, but not without a condescending tone that gets a scowl from Rainbow. You have to hand it to her, AJ knows better than anypony else how to push Rainbow’s buttons.
“If you two’d excuse me, I gotta relieve myself. Be right back,” AJ says before trotting off back to her house at the bottom of the hill on which you were now relaxing.
Turning to Rainbow, you set down your own mug after a long draw. “So, how’d you get the water there, if what you were doing wasn’t working?”
“It was Fluttershy. She came out of nowhere, declared we’d get it done, and we did. I knew she’d come through for me.” Rainbow shakes her hoof at you. “Everypony always underestimates her, but I quit doing that a long time ago. Eventually she shows you up enough times to get it through your head she’s worth counting on.”
“Huh.” Crossing your arms, you look up at the sky a moment, suddenly remembering the feeling of soaring through the air as Rainbow carried you to the mountain those weeks ago. That reminds you of something you still have left to do. “Hey, Rainbow.”
She looks up from her cider. “Hmm?”
“I never thanked you for helping me out back then. I means a lot to me, really.”
Rainbow rolls her eyes. “Uuuughh, I thought we were just gonna be cool about it, and then you go and bring it up like a mare! Now we’re supposed to do some mushy, ‘Thank you,’ ‘No, thank you,’ ‘No, thank you,’ stuff and that’s totally not me.” She leans over and jabs you in the shoulder. “You should know by now you don’t have to thank me for that kinda stuff. You’re my friend. It comes with the package.”
“And you’re sure you’re okay with that? The ‘friend’ part? I know I didn’t exactly make it easy...”
“You dunce!” Hovering up to you, she smacks you upside the head.
“Ow!”
“I just got done saying you don’t need to mention that kind of stuff!”
“This is different, though!”
“Man, you’re my friend. That’s what matters here. The details are pointless.” She looks away a moment, checking the area for onlookers before swooping in for a hug. The abruptness of her action almost knocks you off your stool, but you quickly hug back, smiling to yourself. You have only a few precious seconds before she breaks away. “Though I wouldn’t mind a hug every now and then.” With a cute frown, she lays a hoof on your chest. “Not a word. To anypony. Ever.”
You hold up a hand as if taking an oath. “I promise.”
“I interruptin’ somethin’?”
Both you and Rainbow jerk your heads to Applejack’s voice. Rainbow yanks her hoof away and drains her cider mug. “I, uh, gotta go. Weather stuff. Catch you two later!”
Before you can even mutter a word of protest, she’s gone, leaving a brash wind in her wake. Shaking your head, you sigh, then turn to the sound of AJ’s hoofsteps.
She’s smiling with her eyes again.
“The way she flew off, one’d think she was doin’ somethin’ untoward.”
“Nah, she was just being Rainbow. You know how it goes.”
“Sounds ‘bout right,” she replies before nuzzling against your side. “Let’s go for a walk.”
Again, you find yourself wandering the vast orchard, taking in the fading sunlight and the mellow breeze, watching the fields of apple trees sway and rustle in their own little symphony. Taking a deep breath, you let your hand wander to Applejack’s head, running through her mane and nudging her hat off center. She doesn’t protest, only pushes her head further into your hand. Now feels like a very good time for the day to end, you think.
So the two of you walk together for a while, never speaking, only enjoying the what’s around you. AJ occasionally rubs up against your leg, and your hand finds a cozy home in her mane. It’s enough.
Eventually you come across a tree and Applejack gestures to it with a nod. You sit up against it, AJ sprawled out across your legs, her breaths pushing her belly against you. Removing her hat, you place it atop your own head where it sits nicely, in the meantime allowing a hand to idly massage her scalp. Applejack hums in contentment.
“You look silly with my hat on.”
“Never could pull off the cowboy look, I guess.”
“I don’t mind you lookin’ a bit silly. Reminds you how to laugh at yourself.”
“Mm hm.” Your mind is off elsewhere, a certain question burning up within you that you’d been dying to ask ever since Applejack came back from the fall. It never really seemed appropriate, but now is as good a time as any.
“Where were you those two weeks?”
Her immediate answer is only silence, though she raises her head up off your lap. With a moment of consideration, she replies, “Y’know, it’s funny... everypony’s told me I was gone for two whole weeks, but dangit if it didn’t feel like nothin’ more than an hour. But in that hour, I kinda hovered between sleep and consciousness, and my thoughts were, well...” Again she hesitates, and this time you can tell she’s frowning. “I’d rather not talk about it right now. Just know that after that hour, I showed up on the road just outside of town.”
“Did you come straight to me?”
“Sorta. I’m ashamed to say I had my doubts.” She turns to face you, a glint of worry in her eyes. “I knew I’d fallen, but somehow there I was in the middle of the road, not really knowin’ exactly how I got there. And last I’d seen ya, you didn’ want nothing to do with me.” Looking down, her words turn to mumbles. “I wasn’t too happy with you, and more than a lil’ angry at myself for lettin’ you go so easy. I didn’t know what to think ‘till Rainbow came across me.”
A shiver runs down your spine. You were not expecting that. “What did she say?”
Now AJ allows herself a smile, turning her head away and laying it back down on your lap. “Nothin’ important. Just where you were... and maybe a couple other things.”
You go back to stroking AJ’s mane, internally thanking Rainbow once again. You’d racked up quite a debt to that spunky little blue pegasus, but imagine you’ll never get to pay it off.
The wind shakes a branch directly overhead, catching your attention and you turn from the setting sun. You watch it, wondering why it seems so significant to you when you realize that not once since Applejack came back have you felt out-of-place with nature. That foreign uneasiness you always used to feel outside had totally and completely left you.
You lay your head back onto the tree and sigh. “I’d always wondered what it felt like to belong. I guess now I have my answer.”
“Oh?” says Applejack, ears perking up. “And what does it feel like?”
Your Silence Deafens the World
For two weeks you searched. Twilight, all of her friends, the townponies, and even the princesses volunteered what time they could. You hardly get any rest, even collapsing during one of the searches from wearing yourself out so completely.
“Nopony could have survived that fall,” they say. “Not even Applejack.”
Fourteen days and nights you scour the river, top to bottom, upstream and downstream.
All you ever find is her hat.
She is declared deceased the first day of the eleventh month, in the eighteen-hundred and thirty-second year of The Royal Sisters.
