Crazy Capering Cupcake Ceremony

by RainbowDangerDash97

Rating: everyone
Tags: Princess Celestia, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Main 6, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Random
Length: 4116

Princess Celestia is holding a Cake-Eating competition in Canterlot, and Fluttershy wants to join.

Princess Celestia is holding a Cake-Eating competition in Canterlot. The winner wins a title, and a necklace labelling "the Element of Awesomeness." Also, 200 bits. "Awesomeness". It sounds a lot of Rainbow Dash to me, but will the pegasus win and earn the money she needs for a new "Fly-Faster" turbo accelerator? Or will Fluttershy win and earn the money she needs for a home for her new baby squirrels? Or the CMC for Cheerilee's birthday gift?

Published 2012-06-01 16:14:03 UTC
Last updated 2012-06-01 16:14:03 UTC

Chapter 1

"Hey, Fluttershy! Have you heard of the Crazy Capering Cupcake Ceremony competition in Canterlot this week?" Pinkie Pie asks, bouncing towards her yellow pegasus friend, with her never-getting-old smile on her face. She has a basket in her mouth, and she bumps it down upon a little table to her left.

Fluttershy shies back, shakes her head, and asks, "Oh no....I'm sure nopony else has, either. Oh my....um....what is it about, Pinkie Pie?"

Pinkie Pie giggles, and shouts, "Oh, something about eating the most cakes! The competitors have rounds, and whoever survives the sugar coma wins! It's going to be easy, so I didn't want to join. I'll win hooves down! Maybe something...I don't eat so often will work better, don't you think? Winner gets 200 bits, a new "Element of Awesomeness" and respect around Canterlot! Do YOU want to join, Fluttershy?

Fluttershy seems to be deep in thought. She would rather not, considering she can only eat no more than a single cupcake at SugarCube Corner, while her friends are wolfing down and taste-testing all sorts of new pastries and baked goodies. The blood rushes to her cheeks, and they become as pink as her only-just-brushed mane. She whispers, "Oh my...um...I...I...I need the money for a new house for my poor squirrels. I...I...Pinkie Pie, you..you wouldn't mind if I join, will you?"

A surge of emotion rushes up Pinkie's spine, as she cries out loud, "You do? Okie dokie lokie!!!!" She giggles once more, and replies, "Of course not, you silly filly! I'm right behind you, Fluttershy! Besides, it's about time you win in a competition after all...Oops, no offense! Let's get you training!"

Fluttershy's eyes shoot up, as she asks, her voice all soft and worried, "Training? Oh my...I swear I can't do anymore push-ups then I've already done this week!" She squeaks, as she reveals her broken wing, which came from Rainbow Dash forcing her to "toughen" up. She winces, as Pinkie Pie shakes her head.

"Oh no..." Pinkie Pie says. Her voice lowers into a dangerous soft voice, with the Pinkamena Diane Pie effect stinging her tone. Her eyes are narrowed, and her mouth straightens into a thin serious yet cheeky smirk. "We're eating the house down TONIGHT..."

"Oh my...um...Rainbow Dash?" Fluttershy asks, the following afternoon. "How do...um...How do somepony like me improve their appetite?" She approaches the cloud which Rainbow Dash is lying on, as she always does on lazy afternoons such as this one. Fluttershy repeats her question, a little (but not much) louder this time.

"Aw, man!" Rainbow Dash shouts. Her eyes are misty, and there are bitter tears in her eyes like nettles. She swallows the pill they call pride, and she turns to Fluttershy, asking, bitterly, "Hey, Fluttershy. What's up..." There is no concern, enthusiasm or emotion in her voice, which is usually not as life-less.

Fluttershy is concerned at once, and she asks, worry and anxiety showing in her trembling eyes, "Oh my! Nothing bad has happened to you..um..Rainbow Dash? Are you - oh my! Are you okay?"

Rainbow Dash rolls her eyes, and snaps, "Something bad? THIS IS WORSE THAN BAD!!! I was THIS close to getting that turbo accelerator! I know it's sorta cheatin' and all, but it's supposed to help me fly FASTER. Ugh...go away, Fluttershy...I only have two bits left..."

"Two bits?" Fluttershy asks. She figures that Rainbow Dash must REALLY want that accelerator, to be that desperate and all. She bits her lower lip, and says, "You...um...you can have my ten bits, Rainbow Dash." She unties her saddlebags, and gently takes ten golden coins of little value, and places them on the cloud Rainbow is lying on. She is saving up for a house for her squirrels, but it seems that her friend needs it more than she does.

Rainbow Dash can't help but smile a little at her friend's kindness. "Aw....thanks a bunch, Fluttershy," she says, giving the coins back to her friend. "But...it's still not enough. I need at LEAST 200 bits for it! I know, expensive. But I was saving these 200 bits up since when I was a filly! And now...it's lost. And...somepony else is gonna buy it."

Fluttershy asks, concern showing in the expression on her face once more, "Oh my, you lost it? The 200 bits --"

Rainbow Dash sighs, miserably, and replies, "Nuh-uh. Somepony stole it."

Fluttershy is horrified, and she asks, "Oh my! S-Somepony stole! But...nopony steals in Ponyville! Who - who could've done such a thing?" She is on the verge of tears, and her hooves are shaking in fear.

"I didn't EXACTLY see them steal it...But I left in Twilight's hooves!" Rainbow Dash shouts, angrily. "And when I came back, it was GONE!!! Not anywhere to be frickin' seen in the egghead's library!" She turns to Fluttershy, flares dancing in the middle of her eyes. "You know what, Fluttershy? I bet it was TWILIGHT who stole it! I KNEW it!!!!"

Fluttershy bites onto her friend's tail, and she mutters, "Oh no, please, Rainbow Dash. I...." She has a brief pause to think about what she is about to say. The Cake-Eating Competition in Canterlot. She doesn't want to disappoint Pinkie Pie, but she hates seeing Rainbow sad, and she doesn't want Twilight hurt. She closes her eyes, and whispers, "You can join the competition in Canterlot..."

Rainbow Dash's eyes light up, and she asks, "What competition?"

"A Cake-Eating Competion," Fluttershy replies, not feeling too happy with herself. "P-Pinkie Pie told me about it. You see, the winner gets...um...200 bits, and the "Element of Awesomeness". Oh my, I was going to join, but if you really want to, Dash, I'll ---"

She is interrupted by an Ursa Major hug from Rainbow Dash. "Aaalright!" she shouts. "Thanks, Fluttershy! You know what? I don't see why we can't both join...It's gonna be awesome!" She calms down, lets go of Fluttershy, and asks, "Uh...Fluttershy? What were you gonna ask me before?"

"Oh, um...Rainbow Dash? Can you help me improve my appetite?" Fluttershy asks.

Rainbow Dash nods, and replies, "Yeah, you know, you have to exercise! Fly, run, anything. It REALLY improved MY appetite!" She waves a hoof at Fluttershy, and bolts off, crying out, "Later, Fluttershy! Canterlot, here I come!"

Fluttershy takes a deep breath, and lets it out slowly. Exercise? More push-ups? No, thanks. The smile returns to her face, and she approaches Rarity's Boutique. Maybe the unicorn has some tips on appetite, though more likely than not.

"Rarity?" Fluttershy asks, as she watches Rarity dash around the room, crying out, "Where, oh where is my ribbon! Oh my stars..why does it always happen to me? Of all the worst possible things, this is. THE. WORST. POSSIBLE. THING!!!"

Fluttershy finds the perfect time to say something, and she asks, softly, "Oh my...um...Rarity, do you have any tips on improving your appetite?"

Rarity stops, and she turns to Fluttershy, giggling, "Oh, darling, I didn't see you." Her eyes open wide, and she gasps, "Oh, darling! You didn't know? You have to force yourself to eat - even if you are sick! I'm afraid it's rather rather rude, but you can't not eat anything and be a skinny beanstalk who can't fit in a dress, right, darling? Unattractive!"

Fluttershy nods, and pretends that the imformation was helpful. Forcing herself to do things is always the thing she is afraid of doing. After all, can't there be an easier way to work around things? "Thank you, Rarity. It's for the --"

"Crazy Capering Cupcake Ceremony competition in Canterlot? Everypony knows about that one...What? Oh, darling, don't even suggest such a thing! Why, a lady must not partake in such crude uncouth events," Rarity answers, before Fluttershy gets to finish her sentence. "Now, if you please, Rarity is...busy." She giggles nervously, and shooes Fluttershy out, trying her hardest not to seem rude. Once Fluttershy is outside, she tip-hooves to the fridge.

She looks around suspiciously to see if nopony is looking. When she confirms this, she grabs the cakes out of the fridge, and gobbles them down like a savage. "Buuuuurrppp."

"It's no use!" Fluttershy tells Pinkie Pie, that evening. "Nopony knows anything about improving one's appetite. Maybe...um...Pinkie Pie? I don't think this is working."

Pinkie Pie giggles, and she says, "Oh, silly filly! You don't have to improve your appetite! Just go, and show 'em all you've got! Don't worry --" She picks up a foam finger out of nowhere, and waves it around. "I'll be your number one cheerleader!"

Fluttershy sighs, and she says, confidently, "I won't let you down, Pinkie Pie."

"Now go out there, girl!" Pinkie Pie shouts, pushing her friend forward. Fluttershy whimpers, and she trots slowly down the path. "Other way, Fluttershy!" Pinkie Pie cries out. "Let's go PARTAY!!!"

<<<<

""

"Our contestants are....Rainbow Dash," Celestia announces. The pegasus comes out, smudges of war-paintish on her cheeks, adding to her dangerous look. Her eyes are narrowed, and she drags her hoof back, in a fighting stance. "I heard Twilight Sparkle gave me the 200 bits for the prize coming from a certain pegasus," Celestia says. "Though, she didn't tell me the name."

"What?" Rainbow Dash asks, floating in the air with her wings flapping slowly behind her. She is powered by a new surge of emotion, and she shouts, "Come on! It's on!"

Celestia continues on her announcing, "Rarity!"

Everypony stares at her in confusion, shock and wonder. RARITY?! This competition?! The unicorn giggles nervously, and says, "What? I need bits for a new diamond-engraved ribbon!"

"Sweetie Belle!"

This time, Rarity is the one to stare. "Sweetie Belle? What are you doing here, darling?" She is interrupted, by excited cheers from the Cutie Mark Crusaders.

"Come on, now, Sweetie Belle! Ah'm sure Cheerilee will love our birthday gift for her! She's always said she wanted new repairs for the school," Apple Bloom says to her unicorn friend.

"Why do I have to do it?" Sweetie Belle asks, staring nervously at the gigantic chocolate-iced cake in front of her. She shoots a nervous glance at her friends, who won't take "no" for an answer. "Uh...hey?"

"AppleJack!"

"Howdy, y'all! Apple-flavoured, and Ah'm sure as hay gonna win!" AppleJack calls out, "Yer know, just think that the Apple family can do with 200 bits. Ah still can't believe yer accepting contestants playin' fer a "turbo accelerator."" At this point, she glares at Rainbow Dash, who glares back, challengingly.

Celestia puts on a Trollestia face, and she shouts, "Fillies and colts, I present to you.....AppleJackRarityRainbowDashFluttershyDerpyVinylScratchSpitfireLyraSweetieBelleLunaFausticorn. But, please, forget the last one. Now, start! Bon Bon, you won't mind bringing the cakes, will you? Same to you, Mrs. Cake and Mr. Cake. Oh, thank you, Pinkie Pie. That cake such looks delicious."

Bon Bon places a large chocolate-iced cake in front of each contestant. Rarity stares at it in disgust, and Rainbow Dash and AppleJack stare at it daringly. "Three....two...one..." Twilight Sparkle announces, being the assistant of Celestia. "GO!!! The winner of this round eats the whole cake in...." She presents a watch, and stares into it. "2 minutes! Come on, everypony! Oh my, aren't you going to choke, AppleJack?"

Rarity has only bit into her cake, but she stood up, and waved a hoof in the air. "Oh, this is outrageous! For the sake of my reputation, I want to quit! Nopony here should see Rarity wolf down a cake like a disgusting ruffian such as Rainbow Dash or AppleJack." She shoots the two ponies a disgusted glance. She is about to protest once more, but is silenced by an interrupting shout from Twilight Sparkle. "Come on, girls! Clock. Is. Ticking!"

Rarity gives a frustrated scream, and turns to look at all the other contestants. AppleJack; half-way done...Rainbow Dash; three-quarters done....Luna; nearly done....Sweetie Belle; a tiny crumb left....Derpy; not much left....Vinyl; quite a lot left...Lyra; done....Spitfire; remarkable speed, but still four-fifth done.....Fluttershy; Nearly the whole cake left....and herself; the whole cake minus a small ladylike bite. And there is only 1 minute and 30 seconds left. She sighs, and goes into "Hyper Rarity" mode, and eats the cake as everypony else does.

Fluttershy is sweating nervously, as she hears the crowd's cheers fill her ears. "Fluttershy, Fluttershy, Fluttershy has no appetite." She hears the words in her head, contrary to the lovely things the crowd ponies are saying. "No!" she screams. She falls flat onto the cake, and gobbles it like her bear-pal does at dinner time.

It isn't a matter of time left...untill...."Okay, fillies and gentlecolts! Time's up. Now, how many of you have finished eating your cake?" Twilight Sparkle is sent by Celestia to inspect the plates, and she is rather impressed by the results. "Oh, I'm sorry, Derpy. You're...you're eliminated. Look, you've still got a crumb left on your plate," the lavender unicorn sighs, with a sad tone in her voice.

The wall-eyed pegasus puts on puppy eyes, and she asks, "No money? No money to feed my little muffin?" She is on the verge of tears, but before she leaves the competition, she turns around and asks, "Can...Can I at least bring back the crumb for my little muffin?"

Twilight Sparkle's eyes get a little teary and emotional. She turns back to Princess Celestia, and the Princess nods her head. The lavender unicorn smiles, and she mutters, "You can bring back this bag of muffins we were reserving for --"

She is interrupted by Derpy, as the pegasus squeals, "Woohoo! Thank you, everypony!" There is a wide smile on Derpy's face as she flies back home, not even sad that she didn't win. "Thank you so much, Princess Ce -- Cu...Celestia!" She flies home to her "muffin", beaming with joy.

Twilight sighs with content, and says, "Anypony else going home?" She examines each plate for any crumb, but there isn't a single crumb left on each of the competitors' plates. "Poor Derpy. I thought she had it in her."

Fluttershy is feeling more confident than ever, as the next round comes up. A smaller but wider Christmas log cake is placed in front of each contestant. "You can do it, Fluttershy!" Pinkie Pie encourages. Fluttershy winks at her, but her confidence is lost as she stares at the cake. It has way more icing than the previous cake, so much it could make somepony sick.

Bon Bon cheers the name of her possible lover, "Go, Lyra. I hope you win." Lyra smirks, and she waits for the signal. Everypony holds their breath. "Three.....tttwoooo......oooonnne.....GO!"

This one is easier, as everypony is getting used to the competition rules. Rainbow Dash looks around to see if anypony is watching her, and she sweeps a few crumbs onto the floor, kicking them away with her hooves. AppleJack, Rarity and Spitfire are munching down the cake, trying their hardest to keep up with what seems the "new champ named Rainbow Dash." Vinyl is somehow eating to the beat, the tune in her head drowning the crowd's encouraging cheers. Octavia is anxiously cheering her friend on. After all, 200 bits is more than enough to buy a new set of turnables for their band.

Meanwhile Fluttershy is stuffing her cheeks with bits of delicious creamy cake, though she feels like throwing up. She remembers Rarity's words concerning "forcing somepony to eat something they don't want", and her method of improving herself in terms of food. In her eyes, she is fore-casting a sick feeling of too much sweet flavoury goodness going down her throat. Her face turns awfully green, and then white, as she hears the words, "Five...four....three....two....ONE.."

She gulps down her food, almost choking herself dreadfully. "Oh my! I'm going to be sick! I'm going to be sick!" she squeaks, but it is hardly audible under the crowds of million ponies watching and shouting things. She turns to Pinkie Pie, who is clapping her hooves. "Auntie Pinkie Pie's proud of you, Fluttershy!"

Twilight Sparkle doesn't believe her eyes, as she sees that everypony's plate is spotless. "Princess Celestia, what do we do? They're passing extremely well," she says, turning to her teacher. Rainbow Dash unsuspiciously whistles an innocent tune, as she dusts some crumbs off her shoulder with a hoof.

"Next!" Twilight Sparkle cries out. "GO!!!"

Each pony digs into the new cake set before them. It has sugary vanilla icing, and somehow, is so addicting --

Luna's eyes shoot open. "THIS CAKE IS DELICIOUS!!!!!!" she screams. Her cake and plate are blown off the table, and are lying on the floor. She covers her mouth with her hoof, and says, "Oops. I forgot to turn my swag off. And my Royal Canterlot Voice. Big sister, I command you to bring me another cake."

Twilight Sparkle sighs, and says, "I'm sorry, Luna. You are distracting the other contestants. Come on, Spike. Will you tick her name off the list?" The baby dragon does as he is told, even though he is trying his hardest to stifle his laughter. "You should never speak with the Thu'um at the dinner table, Lunaborn."

The Princess storms off, but not without an argument. "I shall get back at you, big sister! And you too, Twilight Sparkle! As I, Princess Luna, does not give in to whelps so easily." She goes back into her Royal Canterlot Thu'um Voice, and she shouts, "YOU GOT THAT, TWILIGHT SPARKLE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!"

The alicorn leaves, and everypony goes back to their eating, on command of the Princess herself. "Five....four....three.....two.....ONE!" Twilight Sparkle cries out loud. "STOP!!!!"

Rainbow Dash sweeps a few crumbs under the table once more, before Twilight catches her under her stern steely eye. She gasps, and shouts, into the microphone, "Rainbow Dash! You can't do that! That's cheating!"

Rainbow's eyes shoot open. "Uh....oops?" she asks. She blushes a little, and she says, "Heh, my bad! I...uh...seemed to...oops...I, you know...." There is a crowd gasp, and Rainbow looks at each of their shocked yet furious faces. The pegasus shouts, "Oh come on, guys! What's the awesome in a game with no extra fun? Huh, I should've thought TWICE before I joined this stupid thing!"

Twilight sighs, and declares, "These are not even exciting anymore. Princess Celestia herself has appointed me to tell you...these are the finals. Under order by the incredible Princess Celestia, I bring you..." She turns to Bon Bon and asks, "You would help Mr. and Mrs. Cake escort the cakes to our contestants, will you?" The two ponies nod, and Twilight shouts, into the microphone, "The MMMMMMMysterious Marvel of the Mrs. and Mr. Cakes!"

Fluttershy winces, as soon as the gigantic cake lands in front of her face. The crowd's cheers seem to be getting to her, as she glances upon the flavoury monster. She feels the tears streaming down her face, as she bites onto the cake. Everypony else almost passes out with frustration.

Sweetie Belle sees the enormous cake in front of her, and almost barfs - barfing being against the rules. Her face turns green, and she lets out an unladylike belch, unintentionally, even though most of the competitors have already done the same a few rounds ago.

"Come on, now, fattie," Apple Bloom says, shoving the cake into her friend's mouth. "Ah already told Cheerilee we're spendin' our money on her. How in tarnation do yer think we're gettin' money if yer don't perservere?"

Sweetie Belle gulps down the cake, before shouting, "Okay! F- For Cheerilee!" Apple Bloom and Scootaloo show-off their Cutie Mark Crusader capes, and tie one over Sweetie Belle's shoulders, even though it can hardly fit on the pot-bellied filly. Rarity glares at Sweetie Belle, and shouts, "Darling, how could you? Don't you know that the money I'm earning is for my career? For the most important pony in Canterlot? Why, this was a personal request by Princess Cadence, herself! Don't you know how important this is, darling?"

Sweetie Belle glares at her sister, and says, "New repairs for our school is important too, Rarity! Stop being selfish, and help us get Cheerilee the bestest birthday present anypony could hope for!"

"Do you really think you can eat all this, Sweetie?" Rarity asks, shooting a saucy glance Sweetie's way. Sweetie Belle nods, and narrows her eyes. "I'm betting you my journal I'm gonna make it!"

Rarity narrows her eyes, and her face becomes a typical Rarity rape face. "Oh. IT. IS. ON!!!"

Everypony starts munching down mouthfuls of cake, sick of the creamy sugary pink-frosted icing that decorates the cake. Spitfire then vomits all over her plate, and shouts, "It's over! I can't do it! Come on, man, I'm a Wonderbolt! Not a Gulpercolt!" Her eyes droop low, and she falls into a sugar coma. Soarin' and the other Wonderbolts shout rude words, and they shout in anger, "Blast it! We knew we should've admitted YOU, Soarin'..."

Celes - I mean, Trollestia enjoys the commotion she is creating, and she chuckles to herself lightly. "Lyra's off finding humans again, and Vinyl's already passed out with diabetes all over her turnables, so they're eliminated. Derpy for not finishing her cake, Luna for invalid actions against the rules, Rainbow Dash for cheating, and Spitfire for vomitting." she announces, into her own megaphone.

Fluttershy feels the sweat dropping from her cheeks. "I must do this for Pinkie Pie," she tells herself. She has not much of a resistance to sugar, but she has an extraodinary ability to eat and not get fat - something she gets from sharing the same voice actor as the world champion of cake-eating competitions...Pinkie Pie.

"Three...TWO.....ONE...." Twilight says.

"Ah gotta do this!" AppleJack tells herself, while Rarity tells herself the same thing. Sweetie Belle sweats nervously, and Apple Bloom and Scootaloo help stuff the cake down their friend's (who was already the size of a balloon by now) mouth.

Fluttershy bites her lower lip. Tears are in her eyes, and she looks at the very last piece of cake she has in her hoof. "You can do it, Fluttershy!" Pinkie Pie shouts.

Fluttershy swallows down the last bit of cake in her throat, and throws a brand new piece of cake into her mouth. Twilight Sparkle's eyes are very serious, as she announces, "STOP!!!"

"Not now!" Rarity cries out. "Darling, give me a few more --"

Celestia chuckles to herself. "Pinkie Pie, world champion of all cake-eating competitions...." she says. "Please, give the prizes!"

Pinkie Pie is grinning from ear to ear, and she winks at her pegasus friend. Fluttershy sniffs, and whimpers, as she slowly moves towards the stage. Pinkie Pie giggles, and she passed Fluttershy 100 golden coins - and one section of the "Element of Awesomeness". "It seems like we have a tie, between two ponies!" Pinkie Pie announces.

The other bits and the other half of the element is given to......Sweetie Belle! Her class-mates beam at her, and shout, "We're proud of you, Sweetie Belle!" Scootaloo shouts, "Yeah, that was totally awesome!"

Sweetie Belle blushes, and she hands her bits to her friends for safe-keeping.

Rainbow Dash's face is all red from fury. "Twilight! You still owe me that 200 bucks you stole and gave to Princess Trollestia!" The crowd gasp at the strangled words. "Not that name! Surely she does not insult the Princess!"

Celestia's eyes narrow, and she shouts, "To the ---" She is interrupted by Pinkie Pie, who says, "Okie dokie lokie! Take your prizes home and have a...PAAAARRTAAYY!!!!" She sneezes, and confetti comes out of her snout. She whips a party cannon from behind her back, and aims it at Celestia, cheekily. Everypony laughs, gets up, and dances the night through.

But I gotta go to bed. I think we should keep that for another story, huh? HUH? Great idea?

<<<<

"Hey, Fluttershy!" Pinkie Pie cries out, when she visits her friend the week after. "I'm sorry you didn't win at that hot-dog competition last week. I didn't either! I didn't want to, anyway! It would spoil the fun for everypony else! But it was all great fun! You were amazing, Fluttershy! I heard Cheerilee's really proud of Sweetie Belle now! I would be too!"

Fluttershy smiles warmly, and says, "Oh, that's fine, Pinkie Pie. Oh, thank you, Pinkie. Anything for my one of my best friends. Oh my..um...Pinkie Pie? Have you heard of the Happy Hay Hottie Hot-Dog Hot-Spot in Hoofington this week? Oh my...I'm sure they're still accepting more participants..."

"They are?" Pinkie Pie asks, her eyes widening, and tiny stars form in the center of each eye. There is an awkward silence for a good two seconds, before the pink earth pony bounces up into the sky, exclaiming at the top of her voice, "SHIT JUST GOT REAL!!!!"