Spike the Babysitter

by Radiated Darth

Rating: teen
Tags: Human, Main 6, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Spike, Comedy, Scootaloo
Length: 21803

Being fired from his job, Spike decides to take up babysitting to help cover the rent at the library, as well as feed and clothe himself.

Spike is fired from his job, thinking of what job to take up next he notices a family dilemma trying to get their child babysat, Spike sees an opportunity and agrees to watch their child until they get back. Thus starts his little business in watching kids.

Cover art picture from Majoh on DeviantArt.

Published 2015-10-12 04:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-11-08 22:27:06 UTC

Twilight's New Big Brother

“What do you mean I’m fired?!” Spike demanded as his manager threw him out.

“Oh I don’t know, maybe napping on the job for the third day in a row and not doing your actual job!” the manager replied, arms at his hips.

The teenage boy got up and dusted himself off, “Not my fault that this store doesn’t get any customers,” the manager flashed him an angry glare. “What? Did I piss my boss off, oh wait, that’s right, you aren’t my boss anymore! So now I can give you one of these in front of you instead of giving it to the back of your head.” Spike replied as he flipped the manager off.

“Get off store property o-or I’ll call the police!” the manager croaked, trying to sound threatening.

“Whatever, any job is better than this!” Spike groaned as he turned to walk home. ‘This is bad though,’ Spike began to think, ‘No job means no house, and I’m not about to go back to living with my family. Okay think… what’re your strengths? You’re young, relatively useful when you want to be, and… entirely useless. Better off doing petty things like being a store clerk, that damn lulling music and lack of customers would make anyone extremely tired.’ Spike turned another corner, stopping to notice a little family dilemma.

“Are you sure you can’t make it tonight?” the man asked almost pleadingly over the phone, “I’ll double your payment just please, my wife and I have a very important date tonight.”

A little girl tugging at her mother’s sleeve, “Mommy you said you’d take me to the library today, all we’ve done is dumb shopping.”

“Oh, hey I live there. Believe me there’s nothing there but dusty old books.” Spike said as he approached the three, scratching his back.

“You do now do you?” The mother turned to him, she was surprisingly well dressed, guess that very important date was sooner than Spike expected, “Wait, that gives me an idea, how good are you with kids?”

“I can feed one and keep them moderately entertained I guess.” Spike replied, unsure how to answer.

“Do you have anything planned for tonight?” she asked impatiently.

“Well no, what’re you getting at?”

“Honey,” the woman said, trying to get her husband's attention, “This guy can watch her,” she muttered pointing at the green haired teenager.

“Erh… okay then nevermind Ms. Derpy, you have a good day too.” He snapped his phone shut and quickly approached the boy, “Listen, I know this seems so sudden. But please, we have a very important date tonight and no one is willing to watch our daughter. Will you please?”

“How much?” Spike asked, crossing his arms.

“Erm… how does fifty dollars sound?” the man asked with a nervous smile

“Is that the normal amount that you pay her baby sitters?”

“Y-yea.”

“Then how about double that? Since that was what you were offering a second ago over the phone.”

“Grr… fine. A hundred, but we won’t be back until about eight, is that alright?”

Spike checked his watch, reading 3:47. Babysitting for a hundred dollars for just four hours? Spike smiled brightly looking back to the well dressed couple, “You have yourself a deal, mister…?”

“Light, Night Light, this is my wife Twilight Velvet. Thank you so much for doing this on short notice, but we really must be going now.”

“Bye sweetie,” Velvet replied, kneeling down and kissing the child’s forehead, and hurrying away with her husband.

The child quickly turned her attention to Spike, “So YOU live in a library? That’s so neat!”

“It’s not only a library, it’s also a tree, all hollowed out, pretty cool huh?” Spike answered with a grin.

“I seen that tree place before, I had no idea THAT was the library! Come on let’s go!” she exclaimed grabbing his hand and yanking him in the direction of the library.

“Woaaaah, it’s bigger in here than it looks outside. And all these books.” the little purple haired girl said to herself, shocked by the numerous shelves that towered over her, each rack filled with knowledge.

“Good luck finding an actual book in there, it’s all history books and dictionaries.” Spike said changing out of his work uniform, guess he won’t be needing it anymore.

“That one looks nice,” she whispered, her eyes locked onto a golden rimmed book on the 6th shelf, “Now let’s see,” she said, as she rolled a ladder over to climb to the shelves higher up than her.

“Just be careful up there kid. I told you parents I’d watch over you and I do-” cut off by a gasp escaping Twilight as she fell off the 7th step of the ladder. Spike dove in just barely catching her, his stomach hitting the ground hard. “I don’t want anything bad to happen.” Spike groaned in pain. “If you want a book just tell me, don’t climb up there again."

With the trouble maker finally finding a book she was pleased with, Spike sprawled out on the couch. ‘Right, just make sure she doesn’t die and you’ll get paid, easy as that.’ his eyes wandered over to the little girl, stupefied actually. He knew kids to be the most annoying troublesome loud mouthed little demons, but this girl was almost adult like, forgiven the incident earlier, she was quiet and not so energetic while reading. ‘This’ll be easier than I thought’ “So kid, what’s your name?”

“Twilight,” she answered, not moving her attention off the book.

“Okay Twilight, how old are you?”

“Seven. Oh, do you wanna come to my birthday party?” she asked, turning her head to him with a bright smile, “It’s a week from today.”

“Erm, no thanks kid.” Spike answered, whipping out his phone.

“Too bad, my mom says we’re going to have it at a library, and this is the one I want.”

“What! Well… She’s gonna have to rent it out, so that may actually be nice, more money for me.”

“Why do you care so much about money mister?” she asked, closing the book and turning to him.

“It’s what puts food in my stomach and the library going. So if you love books as much as you say, you better hope I love money.”

The little girl giggled, “I wish I had a brother like you. My other one’s a jerk, always wanting to play army with when he knows I’m just trying to read.”

“A sister couldn’t hurt, growing up in a house with four other boys and no sister I’d kinda like that.”

“Then it’s settled, you are now my brother,” she said extended her hand for a handshake.

“Uh, kid, that’s not how this wor-”

“Shush,” she said, pushing her finger against his lip, “Girls are smarter than boys, I know what I’m talking about.”

There’s that annoying kid side he wasn’t hoping for. 'Best to just roll with it, may as well have a little fun.’ Spike stood up off the couch and knelt down to her level, taking her hand in his, “I decree that Twilight…”

“Sparkle,” she added.

“Yes, Twilight Sparkle, I decree you my little sister. May our bloods be bound to the same parents, and our bonds never broken, for together we are the perfect example of a good brother and sister! Was that good enough?”

“Best brother ever.” she whispered to herself in awe as wrapped her arms around Spike's neck, hugging him tightly. It would’ve been a nice scene, if the girl’s stomach hadn’t have cut in letting out a huge grumble.

“Well I guess that’s the sign for lunch. Uh… what do you want?”

“PB&J!” she quickly exclaimed

“I don’t have jelly…”

“Spahgetti-O’s!”

“I don’t have that either.”

“Turds!” she shouted, giggling.

“Kid please list an actual food item that you think any person would have.”

“Uh… Pizza!”

“I… actually think I have an oven-bake mini pizza in the freezer. Alright ‘little sis’, stay here.” Spike paced himself to the kitchen, getting the pizza on the pan and putting it in the oven, screw preheating, this girl was hungry. When he walked back to the lobby he was not so surprised to see she had taken off somewhere. Just then he heard a rustle coming from his bedroom, he ran upstairs seeing his room’s door was cracked open, he opened it up to see Twilight holding a rather inappropriate magazine from his not so hidden hidden-stash box.

“These are very interesting picture books, but where are the words?” Twilight asked, turning the magazine sideways to reveal a poster picture in the magazine.

Spike quickly grabbed it from her hands, “First of all, erase all of what you just saw from your memory, secondly, I thought I said stay down stairs!”

“But big brother has such neat stuff in his room. Like this thingy!” she exclaimed, holding up his pellet gun aiming right at him, “Look at me I’m a cop!” she pulled the trigger, a pellet hitting Spike right in his eye, causing him to yelp out in pain. “Bad boys bad boys, what’cha gonna do?” she giggled, dancing around.

Spike snatched the gun away, “Downstairs, now.” he demanded, rubbing his eye with his free hand. Twilight made a pouty face, but reluctantly marched back downstairs. Spike put the magazine back in the box, putting it back under his bed, “Never knew why I bothered hiding it, even a kid can find it.” He went back downstairs to notice Twilight back to her quiet reading self, thank god. ‘If I didn’t know any better I’d say she’s bipolar. Glued to the book and innocent one moment, shooting me in the eye the next.’ Spike took his position back onto the couch, “Tell me kid, who normally watches you?”

“Ms. Derpy, she’s really nice, we have muffins for lunch every time she watches me, she always has every flavor, I love the banana nut ones.”

“I think I’ve seen her before. Blonde hair, lazy eye, kinda… derpy. She’s in the Cake’s place all the time early in the morning, probably buying all the muffins and muffin mix, no idea what her affiliation with muffins are.”

“Oh you go to the Cake’s bakery too?” Twilight asked.

“Yea, when I used to work at a mini mart I always went there to get a few donuts or something for my friends at work,” Spike replied, stretching out on the couch.

“What happened to your job?”

“I got fired ‘cause I was sleeping on the job, most everyone did but I was the worst with being sneaky at it, that and I think the manager just had it out for me. Funny thing actually, that was just today, even funnier is that it was 5 minutes before I ran into your parents.”

“Wow, being an adult sounds kinda tough.” Twilight sighed.

“Nah, you just find one thing you're good at and someone will find potential in that, anything is bound to make money, like those magazines that I never want you to see ever again.”

The girl took her attention off the book, sniffing, darting her eyes around the house, “What’s that smell?” Spike smelled it too, smoke... the pizza!

“Aw shit!” Spike screamed, leaping up and running into the kitchen. He opened the stove and grabbed to pan, immediately dropping it with a not so masculine yelp, Twilight popping her head around the corner to stare at the teenage boy feverishly licking and blowing on his hands.

“There’s a thingy called oven mitts, you should really get some.” Twilight mentioned.

“Well, I hope you like floor pizza, if not you can eat my hands, they’re cooked to a crisp.” Spike groaned.

“That was the best pizza I ever had,” Twilight moaned, patting her belly.

“Uh huh, either that’s the overstatement of the year, or dropping it on the floor is the secret ingredient for the world's best pizza.” Spike replied as he stood up from the kitchen table, “So what do you wanna do now kid?”

“Sleep” Twilight groaned as she laid her head down on the table.

“You can sleep in a padded bed with cushiony pillows and comfy insulated blankets, or just sleep on cold wood sitting up letting your back do all the support. Your choice,” Spike chuckled.

Twilight lazily raised her hands to him, “Big brother, carry me to your bed.”

“How do I know you aren’t gonna get into that cardboard box again?” Spike asked folding his arms into each other.

“Please big brother?”

“Fine, but you gotta tell your parents how good of a job I did babysitting you.”

“You already have though.” she mumbled.

“Flattery will get you nowhere… But it’s appreciated.” Spike replied with a smile. With that he hoisted the purple haired girl up, her head resting on his shoulder. “Aren’t you a little old to be carried?” he asked making his way upstairs.

“You're never too old for anything.” she muttered into his shoulder.

“Now the kid is teaching me life lessons,” he opened his bedroom door and sprawled the little girl onto his bed, draping the blankets over her, “Your parents should be here in about an hour and a half from now.”

“Can you read me a bedtime story?”

“I expected you to ask me that, look kid it’s a nap, it’s not like you're sleeping 'till mor-” his sentence was cut short, looking at her make the puppy dog eyes at him. “You kids and your stares always getting you what you want, alright what do you want me to read.”

“The thin papery books under the bed.” she giggled lazily.

“Okay so I’m not gonna read anything then,” Spike groaned beginning to walk out of the room.

“Noooo, read me the book downstairs still on the table. It was really good.” Spike sighed, he quickly walked downstairs and reappeared with the book in his hands. “Read the page with the bookmark on it, start on the beginning of the right side page.”

Spike cleared his throat, “ Okay, ‘William fought hard to diminish the demons from his mind. An inward struggle battle against the pressing madness and his own sanity.’ Uh… are you sure you should be reading this?” Spike asked uncertain looking back to Twilight, but her eyes were already shut. ‘Damn she must really be exhausted.’ Spike shut the book quietly and placed it gently on his night stand. He turned the light off and crept out of the room. Walking back downstairs, finally with some alone time, straight to the Tv to play some Far Cry 4. Turning on the Playstation he plops down onto his sofa, right beside Twilight. “What the… didn’t I just put you to bed? And how’d you get down here so fast?!”

“I couldn’t sleep, and I could’ve got down here faster if you weren’t a slowpoke.” Twilight yawned with a blanket wrapped around her body.

“You couldn’t sleep - you JUST shut your eyes for a minute... Whatever, just do whatever, you still got an hour and a half before your parents get here.” Spike said grabbing his controller. They both sat together, Spike playing and Twilight watching, her eyelids getting heavier, yawning more and more often. “Kid if you’re tired just go to bed.”

“No… I shink I’m fine…” she groaned.

“If you think so,” Spike mumbled. Turning his attention back to the game, “I swear the animals are never where they point them out on the map, always thirty some miles away.” he felt a nudge, turning back to Twilight he noticed she was leaned over, her head propping against his shoulder, her eyes closed with a soft snore. ‘Aside from the pain and annoyance this kid’s caused me today, I really enjoyed babysitting her… Look at you Spike, having feelings for kids and shit.’ He turned back to the game and kept playing.

There was a knocking at the door, Spike checked his phone, the time reading 8:22. He carefully stood up, laying Twilight’s head down onto the sofa, she hadn’t moved an inch ever since she came downstairs to watch him play. Spike opened the door to notice the lovely couple from earlier. “Kid’s asleep, be quiet.” Spike whispered.

“I wouldn’t be so sure,” Night Light laughed.

“What’re you…” Spike quickly looked down to his side, Twilight standing right beside him, “You are more quiet than the air itself little sis.”

“Maybe you're hearing just sucks big bro,” she giggled.

“I’m confused,” Velvet replied.

“Long story, anyway might we discuss terms of payment Mr. Light?”

“Yes, Here is your one hundred, well worth it." he replied handing Spike his payment. "We had a splendid time. How about you honey?” Night Light asked, turning his attention to Twilight.

“I got to read books, and eat pizza, and watch Spike play video games.” Twilight replied joyus.

“Sounds like fun sweet heart. Do you like Spike here better than Derpy watching you?”

Spike looked down to her, genuinely curious on her answer, without hesitation she answered, “Definitely.”

“Well then Spike, if you’re up for it I’d say we found ourselves a new babysitter, good to you?”

Twilight did the same as Spike, looking to him to see his answer, “Definitely.” he replied.

Author's Note

Little switch on the age, I thought it was an interesting choice of a story to have the Mane 6 be younger and Spike be older, same concept with a couple of others that I have planned for future stories. Hope you guys liked it, I really enjoyed writing it :twilightsmile:.

Fluttershy's New Friend

Spike grabbed another flyer from under his arm and nailed it onto the post. “Alright, that makes 20 flyers hung up. Who knew people pays good money to watch brats for a couple of hours?” In fact that’s exactly what he put on the flyers! ‘Busy? Need to run an errand? Wanna get freaky but your kid’s in the house? Drop your brat off at the local library in Town, giant tree you can’t miss it. 12 dollars an hour, tips are encouraged as well. Responsible teenager willing to watch kids while getting your needs in order.’ His phone number at the bottom of the page. Perhaps a bit to money grabby, he didn’t care though, it’s always best to be direct and honest with what you want from people, right? “I gotta remember to buy kid type food, Spaghetti-O’s,and unhealthy shit, kid’s love unhealthy foods.” Spike said to himself, wandering down to the mini-mart, the very same one he was fired at.

Spike entered the store, the familiar smell brought him back to a simpler time where he’d sleep on the toilet paper stack in the Staff room and eat almost expired chocolate, the manager sweeping away until he met Spike’s stare.“H-hold it! You’re not gonna try anything funny are you?” the manager of the store asked, aiming the brook stick at him.

“I don’t know, depends on if you’re gonna throw me out again. Relax man I’m just getting food.” Spike replied.

“Hey Spike, ‘sup man? Bummer you got fired, you were the only worker who was cool here,” the tall purple haired girl moped, twirling her short hair behind the counter.

“Nice to see you too Scoots. I wish I knew your secret to getting away with napping on the job.”

“Come a little closer and I’ll tell ya,” she chuckled. Spike indulged her, leaning over the counter, cocking his head at her as she put her lips mere centimeters away, she took a slow breath and quickly licked his ear.

Spike pulled back immediately letting out a groan, “You’re such a cock tease.”

“It ain’t no secret anyway, it’s luck and instincts, you hear feet shuffling then you perk up and look busy.” She answered with a grin, grabbing one of the magazines off the magazine rack.

“Those are for customers,” the manager barked.

“Then I’ll buy it point-dexter. Calm your respectable tits, anyway, whatcha want Spike?”

“Spaghetti-O’s, junk food, stuff that kids like,” Spike replied.

“Ain’t the weirdest thing I’ve seen bought, far from it. Some old dude once bought six banana’s, pack of Trojans, and some Vaseline.” she whispered, chuckling like mad.

“Don’t wanna know, I’m just gonna get my shit.” Spike gagged as he walked away from the counter. Returning in a matter of minutes, Scootaloo began scanning the items.

“So, you got a new job yet?”

“Like anyone would hire me. No I’m uh…” Spike was hesitant to answer.

“What? c’mon tell me, I wanna know man, anything’s gotta be better than this place!”

“... Babysitting.” Spike mumbled

“Whasat?” Scootaloo leaning closer.

“Babysitting!”

“Pbbt, hahaha! Are you kidding me? I did that when I was like 13, you’re 18 dude, why are you babysitting? Fucking loser.” she replied, laughing wildly.

“Well how about this, you make 9 dollars an hour here to stock, clean, and bag items. I’m getting 12 dollars an hour just to make sure some kids don’t die. Just the other night I got 100 bucks for watching some kid. Who's the ‘fucking loser’ now?”

“Damn, okay, fully take it back, who was the kid?” she asked, leaning on the counter

“I think Twilight was her name, she think’s we’re brother and sister now, and she shot me in the eye with a pellet gun right after getting into my porn stash. Good night overall.”

“Wow, you sound awful at this, remind me never to let you watch my kid if I ever have one.” she replied, placing the last bag of chips in the in the bag. “Okay, you’re gonna have to pay up… sixty seven dollars!” Spike could only give her the shit stare with that sorta joke she pulled, “Alright it’s fifteen dollars and forty five cents is your final total sir. Remember to tip your cashier and tell the manager of the good service we gave today.” she said sarcastically.

Spike handed her 20 bucks, “Keep the change darlin’, and it’d be best if I didn't tell the manager how ‘good’ you are at your job. See ya Scoots.” He picked up the bags and made his way back to the Library.

“You two would make a disgustingly pleasant couple, why not go out?” The manager said trying to strike up a conversation.

“Ewh, gross. He’s just a friend, just a very funny, cute… W-who dubbed you cupid anyway?” she answered, trying to hide her embarrassment.

Spike drew closer to the Library, making out a little girl in a sweater sitting on the bench beside the library, holding a raggedy stuffed bunny. Probably a good time for some self promotion, “Hey kid, tell your parents if they ever need a babysitter to call me,” Spike said, handing her a flyer from his back pocket.

“That’s uh… why I’m here.” the pink haired girl muttered, staring at the ground.

“Oh… They just dropped you off?”

“They told me to wait until you get back.” Spike looked to the door of the library, the paper of the ‘Open’ side flipped to, ‘Be Back in 5’. “Oh they told me to give you this, they were in a hurry,” she reached into her pant pocket and handed Spike a folded paper. Spike took the paper from her, the paper reading, ‘Dear Librarian, sorry the note, had our daughter be more talkative we could just relay through her. However her being a very reclusive girl, We’ll be the ones to tell you. We had a matter to deal with and had to leave little Fluttershy here, we will take no longer than 7 pm, until then please keep a close eye on her.’

“Okay then Fluttershy, what do you wanna do?” Spike asked, putting his hands in his coat pocket.

“I dunno…”

“Want to watch cartoons or something?”

“Okay.” she replied.

Spike unlocked the Library door and held it open for the little girl, “Ladies first,” he said humbly with a slight bow. She giggled, but quickly went straight face again, hopping off the bench and walking into the library, Spike following shortly behind. He marched to the kitchen and quickly set the bags down and then walking back in the lobby. “So it’s about a quarter past one, we got a while before your parents get here. So… just cartoons?”

“Uh huh,” she answered curled up on the couch.

“O… kay. My name is Spike by the way, just ask me if you need something,” Spike replied as he sat down, handing her the remote, her sweaty little hand touching his as she took it. ‘Jeez, kid must be nervous. At least today will be easy, it’s not like she’s gonna get into my porn or shoot at me.’ She stopped on an Animal Planet special on Meerkats, making her smile brightly with an adorable little squeal. “You like animals huh?”

“Yea, my mommy and daddy own a Vet place where I get to take care of some of the animals. I hope to live on an animal farm one day.” she replied, looking at her stuffed bunny. “I didn’t know this place was a library though, it sure is big.”

“Heheh, and your parents said you weren’t talkative. Yea, it’s mainly just a storage place for books dealing with history, mainly of Equestria but there’s some other books about random crap.”

“Do you live here mister?”

“Yea, there’s a bedroom upstairs and even a guest bedroom down here. The Library itself covers it’s own rent since the Town’s taxes pay for it, but I still need to do a part time job to feed and clothe myself. I find it kinda ironic though, I live in the library yet I’m the dumbest person I know.” She giggled a bit, just what he was fishing for, “What was the emergency that your parents had to leave you for?”

“I think one of my mommy's best friends had a party or something, they didn’t tell me but I heard them talking about it.” she said hugging her bunny.

“What’s your rabbit’s name?”

“Angel, my daddy won him at that claw machine thingy at some arcade on my birthday.”

“Aww that’s nice,”

“No one showed up to the party, other than a few of my cousins and my parents,” she said with a sigh, looking down at the floor.

“It can be hard making friends, but it can also be easy.” Spike stated, Fluttershy fixated her head in his direction curiously, “ Just don’t be so reclusive and try to find people with similar interests, easier said than done of course, but if you don’t put yourself out there no one’s gonna notice you. Kinda the same thing with those flyers, had I not put them out there you wouldn’t be sitting here now.”

“I guess that makes sense.”

“Getting shot down sucks, but it’s a risk ya gotta take if you want something. Just like a risk I’m going to take now, do you wanna be friends, Fluttershy?”

She stared at him in awe, blushing brightly, “R-really?” He nodded, “Yes!” she quickly replied, hugging Spike.

“Heheh, alright new friend, can I trust you to be alone for just a sec? There’s some stuff I gotta take care of.”

“Yep,” she replied with a smile, turning back to the Tv. Spike stood up and made his way to the kitchen, opening the cupboards and putting the groceries away. ‘Glad I got shopping done today, didn’t expect to watch another kid today, especially one so cute. I just hope she doesn’t get into anything like Twilight.’

As Spike grabbed the last can, he heard a huge cry, “NOOOOOO!”

He dropped the can, running into the Lobby, “Wh-what’s wrong kid!?”

She was teary eyed, clutching her bunny to her chest, “Th-that snake just killed a b-baby meerkat.” Spike , baffled, turned his attention to the Tv. A large python wrapped around a dead little meerkat, consuming it, Fluttershy’s watery eyes glued to the Tv, unable to take them off.

“Okay, okay. We’ll uh, change the channel.” Spike quickly snatched the remote off the couch, turning to the next channel over.

“Welcome back to ‘Slaughterhouse Pigs’! Where we teach you how to gut, dress, and prepare you own pigs!” Causing Fluttershy to cry even harder

“Not helping!” Spike flipped to the next one.

“This week's episode of ‘1000 Ways to Die’. An owner of a Junkyard finds himself caught in his car compactor.”

“What the hell is with all these sick programs?!” Spike exclaimed, flipping channels again,

“We now return you to ‘Happy Time fun Dance”

“Thank god…”

“... OF HELL’!”

“Dammit!” Spike uttered, frustrated, he gave up and turned the Tv off. “Sorry kid I…” he looked at the shivering little pink haired girl, her face buried in her knees, bawling her eyes out. “Hey, hey it’s okay…” Spike said reaching out to her, dropping the remote as it hit his foot. “GAH!... Little fucker,” he exclaimed, Making Fluttershy laugh a little. “... Ya like that? Me getting hurt?” Spike grabbed a book from the coffee table and dropped it on his other foot, exaggerating the pain as he hopped around groaning, turning her sobbing hiccups into giggles. He began slapping himself in the face, punching himself in the gut. anything to make this little girl feel better. After just 3 minutes, his face stinging and his stomach bruised, she had stopped crying. Spike flopped down beside her, “Feel better? Cause I sure don’t.”

She laughed, and kissed his cheek, “Thanks for making me feel better mister.”

Spike blushed as he rubbed the back of his head, “Don’t mention it kid, besides I was the one who made you feel bad anyway. So, what do you wanna do now? I don’t trust the Tv enough to turn it back on.”

“Spin the bottle?”

“That requires more than 2 people, and I’d rather not kiss an 8 year old.”

“Nooo not kissing you big dummy, truth or dare.”

“Still that goes best with groups. What’s a game two people can play?... Hmm. Twenty Questions!”

“What’s that?”

“One person comes up with a person, place, thing, or animal, and the other person has to guess what the word is by asking simple question, like if it’s big or if it’s small. Wanna try?”

“Okay! I’m thinking of something.” she replied excited.

“Does it start with a ‘R’?”

“Is it a cat?”

“Yea!”

“Okay, eleventh animal in a row that you’ve done” Spike groveled.

“Let’s go again!”

“NO!... I mean uh, no let’s just have lunch and stop playing this, please. I don’t know how you stayed entertained playing it for two hours.” he griped.

“What do you have to eat here?” she asked

“Well I have Spaghetti-O’s, stuff to make PBJ, Chips, Vegetable soup?” she shook her head, dropping all his food ideas, “Alright, what do you want then?”

“Apple slices and peanut butter.” Spike facepalmed, ‘The ONE thing I expect a kid to never eat, and she’s asking for fruit.’ “Fruits are unethical. chips are where it’s at!” Spike declared jokingly.

“Oh, then nevermind. My parent’s don’t like me eating greasy or fatty foods, besides we ate before we got here.”

“You’re awful skinny, are you and your family vegetarians?”

“No we just don’t eat a lot of grease or fats. This one time though I had a low-fat cookie, it tasted amazing,” she said with stars in her eyes. Spike walked to the kitchen, bringing back a bag of chips, “S-spike I really shouldn’t.”

“They’re not for you, they’re for me.” Spike had a dark little plan, tempting her with the chips, acting like they tasted like damn nougat eclairs with golden shavings. He opened the bag, smelling deeply the contents of the bag and exhaling with a satisfied sigh, reaching inside and pulling out a generous sized chip, placing it on his tongue and slowly biting down it, emitting a long satisfying crunch. Moaning and humming as he chewed down on it, bringing another to his lips, pushing it into his mouth slowly. Fluttershy watching all the while, mouth hung open, watching Spike engorge himself on chip after chip, looking like he really enjoyed it. Spike glanced over at her, looking fascinated at his chip consumption, he reached in the bag again, ‘accidently’ letting one hit the sofa. Fluttershy brought her shaky palm to it, bringing it up to her mouth, Spike watching from the corner of his eye as she just nibbled at it. Her eyes shot open as the flavors hit her taste buds, realizing the true flavor of the greasy food she’d been robbed of for her entire life. She quickly shoved the rest of the chip in her mouth, darting her eyes at Spike he put the bag right beside each other, turning the Tv on and changing the channel to something they’d both enjoy. She dug into the bag, grabbing a handful and shoving them into her mouth. “So kid, how do you like them ‘apples’?” Spike chuckled.

“Fatty and delicious,” she retorted, her cheeks puffing out from the mass amounts of chip mush.

Spike stopped on Channel 179, “Aw man, Diamond Dog Detective, I thought they took this off the air. I used to love this show when I was your age.”

‘♫ Who's the dog who’s got the plan, Diamond Dog! Who’s the dog who’s man's best friend, Diamond Dog! Solving cases and saving the day, he’s our hero - he’s here to stay. He can’t be beat, he can’t be swayed, it’s Diamond Dog! ♫’

“Ehh it’s a little corny, but it’s still entertaining.” Spike replied. Fluttershy was paying no attention though, all her attention was on the chips. “You go kid, make up for lost time.”

‘You did it again Diamond Dog, you saved the orphanage!’ Reporter Rabbit exclaimed.

‘Who’da thunk it was Professor Platypus trying to steal the orphanage’s charity money?’ Diamond Dog replied, handcuffing the Professor to the cop car.

‘Curse you Diamond Dog. Curse you!’ Professor Platypus wailed.

“Man, I didn’t think they’d have a marathon of the damn show. what time is it anyway?” Spike mumbled as he looked up to the clock, 6:26. “Time flies when you’re having fun, huh kid?” Fluttershy was KO’d, her head hung back, her hand in the chip bag, snoring a bit too loud for a girl her age.

A knock was heard on the library door, making Fluttershy’s head shoot up, “Oh no, they’re gonna find out I was eating junk food.”

Spike rolled the chip bag up and hid it beside the couch, “No they won’t just don’t mention it and you’ll be fine,” the two stood up and made their way to the door, “And hey, put in a good word for me and I can babysit again so you can eat more junk food.”

“You got it best friend,” she replied, giving Spike a quick hug. Spike opened the door, Greeted by two indistinctive people who he assumed was Fluttershy's guardians, with no describable qualities between each other.

“Hey sweetheart, have fun?” the man asked.

Fluttershy nodded, “Mr. Spike and I had a lot of fun, can he watch me more often?”

“We’ll see honey, sorry about the note sir, we were in a hurry to get to the party. I tried contacting you through your phone but none of the calls went through. In terms of payment I believe we were gone about 6 or so hours, so here is your payment.” The man said as he handed Spike a wad of cash.

Spike counted it up,“Twenty, Forty, Sixty, Seventy, Eighty, Ninety, Ninety two? Sir I think you got this wrong.”

“The flyer said that tips were encouraged, and I’m feeling generous right now. In fact, I was even thinking of having some angel food cake tonight for dessert, how does that sound Fluttershy?”

“Yes yes yes! Best night ever!” she exclaimed.

“Well, looks like you got her to come out of her shell a bit huh? Thanks again Mr. Spike, Can I count on contacting you if we need a sitter again.?”

“Always. See ya Fluttershy,” Spike replied, waving goodbye to the happy family. He shut the door behind him and walked into the lobby, another episode of Diamond Dog Detective starting, he plopped down into the couch, grabbing the bag from earlier, all the while singing along to the theme song as it started up.

Author's Note

Spike opened the door, Greeted by two indistinctive people who he assumed was Fluttershy's guardians, with no describable qualities between each other. Just in case the writers decide to introduce Fluttershy's parents into the future, this way I won't look like an ass... even though I kinda do now.

Thinking of doing either Rarity or Rainbow Dash next. Also thinking of having them leave to do stuff outdoors or other places, instead of staying cooped up in the Library the entire story.

Rainbow Dash's New Idol

Rarity's New Boyfriend

Spike was busy doing nothing, something he loved most to do, sitting on the couch half naked watching ‘Diamond Dog Detective’. Twilight and her dad were the only people to come in today, Mr. Light was in a rush so they didn’t stay long, still it was nice to chat with the little twerp. Just as the episode ended there was a knock on the door, Spike made his way to the door, struggling to get his pants on, he opened the door, a mustached man in a floral polo shirt and a neatly dressed little girl. “Lemme guess, this is the cutie I’m gonna be watching today.” Spike chimed, trying to act friendly.

“Yea, me and the misses have some ‘matters’ to discuss, and this little lady shouldn’t be there for it..” the man said with a chuckle, “The name’s Hondo Flanks, and this little one is Rarity.”

Spike look to Rarity, noticing her staring at him in awe, quickly snapping out of it she curtseyed to him, “P-please to make your acquaintance.”

Spike smiled, “Tone it down kid, I ain’t nothing special. So Mr. Flanks, do you know when you’ll be done with your ‘matters’?”

“Erm, well it’s our anniversary night, so I was thinking… until tomorrow?” he asked unsure.

Spike’s eyes grew big, “Uh uh, nothing against you or your daughter but I can’t do until tomorrow, that’s asking wayyyy to much.”

“Can’t or won’t?” Hondo asked pulling out a fat stack of cash, “I’ll be around by 9 am tomorrow, so it being around 3 pm now to when I get here, I believe your total is two-hundred-sixteen dollars. And I’ll throw in eighty-four since this is a special request from you.”

“Okay, now you made it too good to turn down, nice doing buisness with you Mr. Flanks.” Spike replied happily as he took the money, shortly after shaking his hand. “C’mon in kid.” Spike said as he opened the door a bit more, Rarity nervously walked inside.

“You two have fun now. I know I will!” Hondo laughed as he walked away. Spike closed the door as he turned to Rarity.

“I uh… I like your dress.” Spike complemented, trying to appear polite. It was a nice dress though, dark shade of purple , coming all the way down to her ankles with a fancy little flowers in a repeating pattern along the bottom, matching well with her bag.

“Thanks,” she replied as she rubbed her arm, blushing..

“So, just do whatever you want, watch Tv, play games, I think I got a coloring book around here. Bedroom is off limits and so is the rest of the upstairs aside from bathroom.” Spike said, assuming position back on the couch. He looked back to the girl, noticing she was still standing there, “Sorry if I came off intimidating or something. you alright?”

“You called me cute… earlier.”

“Uh… sorry?” he replied, unsure what to say.

“No it was sweet, I’m just embarrassed about it is all. I th-think that you’re… um… Cute too.” she said, brushing her shoe along the ground in a concave manner.

“Now I know how you feel, I don’t know how to respond either.” Spike said with a chuckle. “Don’t think much about it, I was just being polite.

“You don’t really think I’m cute then?” she quivered.

“No I mean I do but I… Yea I think you are but… Yes you’re cute.” he muttered, giving up. He tried changing the subject, “Do you know any girl at your school named Twilight or Fluttershy?”

“I know the Fluttershy girl, she doesn’t talk to anyone, or I haven’t seen her talk to anyone. I heard that Twilight got pulled out to be put in a private school.” she answered, walking over to the couch, sitting down next to Spike.

“... They have private school for second graders?” asked ask puzzled, making Rarity giggle. “She was in here earlier, getting books and talking with me?”

“You know her?”

“Yea I watched her while her parents were going out for the night.”

“Do you… think she’s cute too?”

“I guess so, why ask?”

“Do you have a crush on her?” she said, scooting closer to Spike.

“What? Of course not, she’s eight… or seven, I forget.” he replied flipping channels.

“So you don’t like eight year olds?” she asked with a pouty face?

“Um, duh. I ain’t no pedophile, why do you care anyway?”

“You called me cute so that means you must like me!” she exclaimed, red faced.

“That makes zero sense. And if that’s the case then fine, you aren’t cute!” he replied aggravatedly. He shouldn’t have said that, the girl brow receded from mad to sad in an instant, her lips quivering, she burst into tears and ran upstairs to Spike’s bedroom. He chased after her, a bit too late behind her as the door slammed in his face, knocking him flat on his ass. Spike stood up, opening the door, the girl shaking under his blankets as she sobbed to herself.Spike rubbed the back of his head as he approached her, “Shucks kid I didn’t mean it. You are cute, in fact you’re uh… you’re even cuter than Twilight.” Her sobbing not stopping, Spike felt genuinely awful, both for her and for his wallet. If she told her dad she cried while she was here, bye bye three hundred dollars. “Look kid I’ll… I’ll be your boyfriend.” Of course he was lying, but it wouldn’t be long until she saw what a slob he really was didn’t care about him anymore… he hoped.

Her quivering stopped almost immediately, a whimper escaping as she asked,” R-really?”

“Sure kid, sure. Let’s be boyfriend-girlfriend, whadda ya say?” he said, pulling the blanket off her.

She hopped up on him, hugging his neck tightly and kissing his cheek over and over, “Yes yes yes!”

Spike dreadfully put on a smile, “Alright kid alright.” he moped, peeling the love stricken kid off of him. ‘Great, I’m a pedophile now, only in anime and hentai am I lolicon, not real life!’ “So ‘new girlfriend’, what do you want to do?”

“Uh… let’s go to the park!” she answered.

“Can we not?”

“If you don’t I’ll cry again.” she replied dully.

“Let’s go to the park!” Spike exclaimed enthusiastically. He grabbed his hoodie from beside his bed, and proceeded to the park with his new ‘girlfriend’.

The two strolled through the park together, it was surprisingly cold out since earlier so Spike had to surrender his coat to her as he suffered shivering in silence.

“Ahem,” she coughed, Spike looking down at her, “If we’re gonna walk together we should hold hands,” she said with a smile as he held her hand out to his, the hoodie’s sleeve pulled back to allow her tiny hand to escape. Spike reached out and held her hands, like a mini heater they were so warm to his icy fingers. “Not like that,” she nagged. She reconfigurated her fingers, pushing hers into the space between his fingers, like you would when you twiddle your thumbs. “You gotta do it like lovers hold hands.”

“How do you know what that is?!” he screamed, appalled.

“You don’t think I don’t know what my parents are doing back at home?” she replied. “I may not be smart but I know what sex is.”

Spike honestly did not know how to reply, he just kept his mouth shut as the purple haired little girl hummed to herself as they walked down the paved park trail together, hoping no one else was out to see them.

“So boyfriend, what do you do for a living?”

“We’re doing it right now, the library covers it’s own costs. I still gotta do something to cover me though.” Spike groaned.

“Wow that’s… pathetic.” she muttered, rolling her eyes.

“That’s no way to talk to your boyfriend.” he replied.

“Touche,” she giggled.

“Spike!” a distant voice called out. Spike turned his head to notice Scootaloo jogging at them.

‘THIS IS THE LAST FUCKING PERSON I WANT TO SEE RIGHT NOW!’ Spike screamed internally. “H-hey Scoots!” he replied as she drew closer, trying to play it cool. Rarity pressing down hard on Spike’s hand.

“What’re you doing out here? And what’s with the kid?” she asked, jogging in place.

“I’m uh… babysitting right now.”

“Pbblt, loser. Hey, are you gonna be busy this Saturday?”

Rarity gripping his hand as hard she could, “Owh... Uh yea I shouldn’t be doing anything unless another kid needs sitting.”

“Sweet I’ll be over then with a twelve pack, catch ya later pedo.” she replied as she continued her jog.

Spike let out a sigh, watching her run off into the distance. “Kid why’d you give my hand the death grip for?”

“I don’t like her,” she muttered, pressing closer to Spike.

“Whatever, she’s just a friend, kid.”

“I’m your girlfriend, not some kid!”

“Alright damn, sorry. Me and her are just friends. I used to work with her before I started babysitting.” he replied as they continued their walk. People they passed along the way giving Spike dirty glances, ‘Is it so wrong to hold hands with a kid?! How do they even know what’s going on?’

She gasped in joy as she saw a ice cream vendor, “Make it up to me by buying me ice cream.” Spike sighed, reaching into his pocket, subtracting two dollars from his three hundred dollar wad as they approached the vendor.

“What do you want kid?” he moped

“Strawberry!”

“Alrighty.” they approached the vendor, looking a lot like… Spike’s previous boss!

They locked eyes, he sighed heavily, “Great, first Scootaloo comes by and calls me a faggot, and now you show up.”

“What’re you even doing here?” Spike asked.

“When I’m not working the store I’m doing this to get some money on the side. You want something or not? I’m very busy.” Spike glanced around the Park, an old woman feeding some doves and a man walking his dog was all that was in sight.

“Riiiiiiight, anyway. strawberry scoop for the kid.” she elbowed his side, “My uh… girlfriend.”

“We don’t serve pedophile’s at this stand, you’re even more grosser than I thought of you before.” he replied, folding his arms into one another.

Spike pocketed the money and gave him a dirty look, “Fine, go dirty up some other park with your shitty ass ice cream.” He marched away, letting go of Rarity’s hand.

“H-hey wait up!” Spike kept walking, not slowing down in the slightest. “Spike, my ice cream.” she whined.

“Fuck the ice cream.” he shouted as he kept walking.

“Slow down, please!” she begged. He reluctantly did, just a bit for her to catch up, “What’s wrong?”

“The fact that he called me one, Scootaloo earlier called me one even if it was jokingly, and the people giving us weird stares.”

“Wait, called you ‘one’ what?”

“A pedo!” he shouted. Getting the attention of even more people around him at this quiet park. He facepalmed himself, so embarrassed and frustrated, tears started accumulating at his eyes. It then started raining, scattered drips falling here and there. “Great, I’m cold, I’m embarrassed, I’m tired, and I’m wet now! I just want this day to end, but it can’t, cause I need the money to stay alive.” he sniffled. Gasping a little feeling her tiny arms wrap around him, hugging him.

“I’m sorry, let’s go back to the library.” she mumbled into his shirt.

“S-shit kid, I don’t w-want you feeling bad.” he stammered, trying not to cry. ‘Why am I even crying? I’ve been called way worse! Fuck emotions…’

“It’s kinda hard not to feel bad with you crying, c’mon let’s go,” she replied, turning him around,

“I’m not crying, I’m just sweating really hard out of my eyes.”

They both entered the library soaking wet, Spike shutting the door behind him as Rarity took off his jacket.

“Sorry… I didn’t mean to yell at you earlier kid, I mean girlfrie-”

“Sush” she said, stopping him as she handed him back her coat. “I know we weren’t boyfriend-girlfriend, our age groups are too far apart, I was kinda only teasing you playfully about it, until it ended up hurting your feelings. I should be apologizing. Still you are kinda… cute. ” she whispered the last bit, trying to hide it.

Spike rubbed the back of his neck as he took the hood, “I still can’t get over I almost cried over something as dumb as that, age of a teenager with the emotional strength of a whiny five year old. It was just all the embarrassment and the stress and just…” he sneezed. “I swear if I got a cold from that walk…”

“I-I tried to give you back your jacket earlier!” she stuttered.

“Heheh, I actually kinda like being sick anyway, gives you an excuse to sleep more. But I’m just teasing you though, I ain’t sick. My teasing ain’t as malicious as yours.”

“Sorry, it started out true though. I do kinda like you.” she said, avoiding eye contact.

“Listen kiddo, maybe one day. But right now we’re about ten years apart from each other.”

She stuck out her hand, “Future boyfriend promise?”

“... What?” he asked.

“From what I see we’re still a couple, so you have to promise me to try and be my boyfriend again when I’m eighteen.”

“Like you’d even be interested at that point, and what if I’m already married or in a relationship?”

“Then the deal will be off, if you are however single at the time that I am once I’m eighteen or older, you must date me.”

“Now you’re just adding more to this equation.”

“Just shake my hand,” she said dully.

“Alright,” he replied, shaking her tiny little hand, “In the meantime, I want to end this relationship.”

“Oh no, was it something I said, am I getting too fat?” she said playfully.

“Nah girl, you too young and too cute for a turd like me.” he said sarcastically, making her giggle.

The two then ate a dinner of mini pizza and hawaiian punch in wine glasses, play games, color, the usual shits to keep kids entertained. “Can we please stop playing salon? I don’t like this game.” Spike moped

“Shush, keep brushing Thomas, I want to tell you more about how dreamy Chad is,” she replied, still in character.

He sighed, “Yes Mrs. Richington.” just then huge clap of thunder was heard, shutting their power off. Rarity yelped and clutched to Spike’s arm. “Something wrong Madam Richington?” he asked laughing.

“O-okay, we’re done playing Barbershop now.” she whimpered.

“Calm down kid, it’s just noise. It can’t do nothing… other than shut out out power, well it is kinda late so we should get to bed.”

“Aww, come on, it may turn back on here a sec,” she pouted.

“One… Okay that’s a second. It’s not back on, so let’s get you to bed. Guest bedroom is over there,” he pointed to the door beside the Tv.

“Spike.”

“Yes?”

“I can’t see where you’re pointing,” she said.

“Good point,” he said hoisting her up, “Then I’ll have to carry you there milady.”

“Thank you oh brave kni-” another clap of thunder, causing her to shriek again.

“My name isn’t AHHH, milady. But you may call me that if ye wish.” he laughed as he carried her over to the door. He reached for his phone once he got the door open, flashing a light into the bedroom, much cleaner than Spikes. “Okay kid, you need anything just holler.” he said as he shut the door.

He plopped down into his own bed, ‘Rocky start to the day, my opinion of that girl morphed like three times. Shy, dickish ‘girlfriend’, and then playful'. His thoughts were quickly gone as another strike of thunder coarsed the skies. He could hear Rarity shriek again from downstairs. ‘Punishment from the sneaky shit ya did today', he thought to himself. His eyelids grew gradually heavy, until he was asleep.

Awoken by a loud BOOM, Spike sprung to life, nearly falling out of bed. He checked the time, 2:37 am. He hopped up and proceeded downstairs to get a drink, he didn’t know just how thirsty he was. He was pleased to see the power came back on, quickly drinking his glass and shutting all the lights off. About the first step back upstairs he heard a door open, he stopped and looked at the guest bedroom, a very groggy half dead purple haired girl slowly stumbling out. “Can’t… sleep.” was all she said as she approached Spike.

Spike knew where this was going, he slowly hoisted her up into his arms and continued back upstairs. She opened the door for him as he walked in, placing her gently on the opposite side of the bed, he flopped down next to her, and turning in her direction. She then huddled closely against him, wrapping her arms lazily around him. Her breaths turning into little snores, as Spike began to fall asleep.

Spike awoke with the absence of a little girl clung to him, he quickly turned around to notice she wasn’t there. He checked his phone to see it was 8:47 am. He sloppily stood up and changed into some jeans he hadn't washed in over 2 months. Walking down the stairs, surprised to hear bacon sizzling, he quickly turned the corner to see Rarity preparing breakfast. “I didn’t even know I had bacon. Last time I checked that freezer all there was was half an eaten fudgie pop and what I’m hoping was a rotten banana” he moped as he made his way to the kitchen. “By the way thanks for making breakfast kid, I appreciate it.”

“Think of it as a sorry for the park thing, and this as a thanks for letting me sleep with you last night,” she said as she kissed his cheek, quickly hugging him. She rushed back over to put the bacon onto a plate beside 2 slices of toast and quickly brought it to him.

“Your dad should be here in a little while.” he said with a stretch, “You not gonna eat?”

“I ate two hours ago, you’re just lazy. I had time to go to the store to actually buy the bacon you’re eating right now, and the toast, and the butter. You have nothing in this house.”

“That’s what I was talking about yesterday with the babysitting thing, I have to do it to survive.” he said with stuffed cheeks.

“Keep your mouth shut when you got it full. Table manners!” she exclaimed. Just then there was a knocking, Rarity opened the door to see her father.

“Hey sweet pea!” he said as he hoisted her up. “And hello to you mister Spike.”

“Hello,” Spike side, wiping the bread crumbs off his mouth. “How was your night Mr. Flanks?”

“Fantastic, we really connected and topped it off well.” Spike looked to Rarity giggling, all she could do was roll her eyes. “You ready honey?”

“Ready,” she announced, grabbing her bag.

“Alrighty then, see ya later Spike, thanks again for watching her, I know just where to go if I need a sitter again.”

“You can count on me,” he replied with a chuckle, winking at Rarity. He waved the two goodbye as they left, “Eheh… Let’s hope not.”

Author's Note

There were so many different things I wanted to do with this, but this is the one it turned into. To be honest, not too satisfied with it :applejackunsure:. I should be doing Rainbow Dash next unless I change my mind :twilightsmile:.

Pinkie's New Hero

Rainbow Dash's New Idol

It was late in the afternoon, Spike was still happily asleep, on Saturdays and Sundays the library was closed, not like anyone ever came by for that matter, but the weekends were guaranteed sleep in days. That is what he thought, until he awoke to the sound of the downstairs door opening and closing. He pulled himself out of bed, and wandered over to his bedroom door, his intruder already knocking away at it. He opened it to meet face to face with Scootaloo, he rubbed his eyes to make sure he was seeing right.

"What the hell are you doing here Scoots?"

"Uh, duh. You remember last story I said I was gonna be over today with beer?"

"... What?" he asked, completely lost, "The hell you talking 'bout story?"

"Never mind, so, you ready to get drunk off your ass?"

Spike looked to his clock beside the bed, 2:03 pm, "At two in the afternoon? No thanks, I'd rather sleep." he replied sloppily. She pouted at him, and stepped on his foot playfully, "Hey, watch it!"

"There, now you're awake. C'mon man I've been looking forward to this ever since I asked you at the park. How was the brat you were sitting by the way?"

"Three words, Three-hundred dollars."

"Get the fuck out. Maaan, if I'da known that I would've made you buy the beer."

"Can I at least shower first?" Spike moped.

"You smell fine," she growled impatiently. Spike quickly hugged around her, rubbing his hair in her face as she tried to push him off.

"Does this smell 'fine' to you?" he said playfully.

"Okay, okay. Make it quick though. Or not, I'd like to see you bathe." she said seductively.

"You say that and you still think I'm the perv," Spike said as he walked to the bathroom. He placed a Towel on the rack and turned on the hot water, as he waited for the water to warm, he heard the downstairs door open again, he wasn't cherishing that Scootaloo was answering his door, but he just wanted to get clean already. He hopped in, shampooed, conditioned, how do you think he gets his hair looking so good in the cover pic? Once he was through he hopped out and wrapped the towel around himself, and began to walk back to his room. On his way back he looked down the stairs to notice a kid sitting on the couch, strange streaks of multiple colors filled her hair as she talked to Scootaloo. 'I should've mentioned in the flyers to exclude weekends.' he thought to himself. 'A day off doing babysitting with Scootaloo, as though Satan himself spit fire on me and tried to piss it out.'

"Hey Spike, looking sexy," Scootaloo announced as he opened his door.

"I bet you look pretty good naked too sweet cheeks," Spike jested as he shut the door. He threw on a T-shirt, boxers, some dirty jeans, and his favorite hoodie, and emerged out of the room, ready to face the hardship that is babysitting. 'I wonder what might happen today? Will the kid fall in love with me and make me have a nervous break down in public, will she cry about an animal dying on Tv and eat all my chips, or perhaps steal my porn and shoot me with a pellet afterwards. Also, why are all the kids I'm babysitting always girls?' Spike made his way downstairs, the rainbow haired girl giggling as Scootaloo told her a story. "So, you still wanna get drunk with a kid here Ms. Party girl?"

"Nope," she replied hopping up off the couch, "I'm gonna help babysit. We're splitting the pay."

"You wanna help? Good, I can use a break from babysitting kids while I steal their parents money." Spike said with a stretch. "What's the kids name?"

"She said her name was Rainbow Dash, what's cute was afterwards she said, 'But you can just call me Dash, everyone does.' Like, okay Miss popular." Scootaloo snorted.

"And the pay?"

"She came here alone but said her parents want her back by seven tonight." she whipped out some cash, "So we're getting sixty dollars, forty for me, twenty for you."

"The hell? You sure you graduated even elementary school with that kinda math?" Spike nagged, Dash heard this and giggled a little.

"Well the beer costed twenty, and since you bragged about your cash grab from last time, I figured I get the latter." she replied as she stuck out her tongue.

Spike poked her tongue back into her mouth, "Alright, but with more money comes more responsibility. So you're doing most the work." he said with a smirk. Spike looked to Rainbow Dash, "So kid, whadda you wanna do?"

"I hate being inside, I wanna go out! There were some sick puddles out there from that rain a couple of days ago, I wanna jump in 'em!"

Spike turned to Scootaloo, "You heard the kid, take her out."

"I may be the worker, but you're the overseer. And as overseer, you must keep an eye on my work at all times." she retorted, folding her arms into each other.

"And what about the beer?" Spike asked.

"We can all drink later, all three of us!" she exclaimed. Spike gave her a dirty look, "Kidding, we'll just hold it off until tomorrow, no probs dude. Now c'mon, let's go watch a brat jump in some puddles."

It was a gloomy cloudy day, the sun had yet to dry up the water from the storm three days ago. Rainbow Dash took notice to a good puddle, she got a running start and sprung straight into the pool of water, completely dowsing the kid and the area in water.

"Judges what are we gonna give her?" Spike announced.

"Meh, I've seen better. I'll give her a six." Scootaloo teased.

"What?!" Dash exclaimed, "Fine, you try giving a better one, I'll be judger... er!"

"Alright kid," she replied as she stripped off her hoodie, handing it to Spike. She saw the perfect one, not too murky with mud. She went into a full on sprint at it, and jumped just a few feet in front of it, water shooting almost above her head, almost her entire body covered in water.

"Judges, what do we say?"

"Wow, an eight!" the rainbow headed girl exclaimed.

"You gonna take one too?" Scoots asked, ringing the water out of her hair.

"I ain't one for getting wet. Besides I just showered, I'm not gonna get dirty again."

"Aw come on ya pansy, it's just rain water. Do it!" Scootaloo nagged.

"Yea, do it, pansy!" Dash giggled.

"Damn, peer pressure. Alright fine, here kid hold my hoodie." Spike said handing his jacket to Dash. He scanned the area for any good puddles, he spotted a huge one on the road, he got a wicked grin. "Alright, wager. If mine is bigger then both of yours, you gotta give me a kiss."

"W-what? Why would I w-wanna kiss you?" Scootaloo stammered.

"W-w-w-what was that Ms. Stutters? Think I'll actually beat you, or are you too chicken? Scootaloo the chicken, Bawk... Bawk bawk BAWK!" Spike jested, flailing his arms like a chicken.

"As if! But if it's not as big as mine, you gotta dock me the rest of the sitters pay." she retorted.

"Deal!" Spike shouted as he ran to the puddle of water. with one good jump he raised his knees to his chest and pushed his legs back down to the water. He sunk in at knee height, the water flying well over his head and right back on top of him, as he yelped out in both pain and surprise. Scootaloo couldn't help herself but laugh as she helped pull him out.

"You okay man? Who'da thunk you'd land in a pot hole." she giggled.

"That was definitely a ten!" Dash exclaimed.

"I think I sprained my ankle," he whimpered.

"You want your kiss now or later?" Scootaloo giggled.

"I'm in pain and all you can think about is kissing me," he laughed, trying to take his mind off his pain.

"Can you stand?" Dash asked. Spike slowly stood up, letting out a little gasp as he put pressure down on his left foot.

"Well I can hop," he said as he limped out of the road.

"Heheh, you're walking like a zombie," Scoots said.

"Can we do something that involves sitting? I don't think I wanna stay out here anymore," Spoke moped.

"I'm done with puddles anyway," Dash giggled.

"So am I kid," Scoots laughed.

"Hold still dammit," Scootaloo barked, as she bandaged Spike's foot in the kitchen.

"It's kinda hard when you're wrapping the bandage so tight," Spike moaned, "Is this even necessary?"

"Dunno, better to be safe then sorry though."

"That splash was amazing mister." Dash said, clinging onto his hoodie, "What's your name again?"

"Spike."

"Wow, that's a really cool name, like the sharp pointy poles."

"Yep, much more of a cooler name than 'Scootaloo'. Ow, hey!" Spike exclaimed.

"Sorry, too tight?" Scootaloo asked with a grin.

Spike groaned, until he felt a wet kiss on his cheek, he turned to face Dash with an embarrassed look on her face. "Why'd you kiss me kid?"

"That was the bet wasn't it?" she asked, confused.

"Well... Huh I guess I made the bet sound like you both had to kiss me." Spike replied.

"Alright, 'nuff kissing 'n shit. What's up next squirt?" Scootaloo asked, leaning her arm on Spike's head.

"Think of something someone can do with a leg injury." Spike groaned.

"Video games!"

"Simple, fun, and not much moving. Excellent choice kid." Scootaloo chuckled. Both Scootaloo and Dash walked out of the kitchen and to the couch.

"... Uh gals, little help?" Spike asked limping into the lobby.

"You can wal... erh, limp just fine. You're cool man." Scoots replied.

"Wow, you got so many games Spike." Dash said, pulling game after game off the shelf.

"Yep, I got a lot of crappy ones from my older brothers so a lot of them suck, but when I used to work the mini-mart I had a lot of money left over to buy games... You're putting all those back by the way, IN alphabetical order."

"Ohhhh, Alien Armada 5. This game looks awesome." the awe stricken kid murmured as she put it in the disk in the Play Station.

"Story Mode is shit, but the multiplayer is fun. And luckily it's four player, so we can all play."

"Pbblt, why did you bother to get two other controllers let alone three? You don't have any friends to play with." Scoots said rolling her eyes.

"I got you, the squirt, and two still functioning arms." Spike countered as he put her in a playful headlock.

"Are you two boyfriend-girlfriend?" Dash asked, cocking her head at the two.

"W-w-what? No! Why think that?" Scootaloo stuttered.

"Dunno, the way she used to look at me at work made me think so. Plus people always bully those they like, and the way she teases me you think she'd have a shrine of me back home." Spike teased. Scootaloo was completely flustered and red faced, not knowing how to respond. "Relax Scoots, I'm just kidding ya, I know you 'hate my guts' as you used to say."

"Whatever, let's just... play this stupid game." Scootaloo mumbled as she scooped up the controller.

Spike just rolled his eyes as he picked up his, "Someone's salty."

About two hours into the game, they were on the twentieth wave of Aliens. "Alright, this is the part where the game is basically like, 'fuck you'. Enemies are twice as harder to kill, they deal a lot more damage, and ammo and med packs are more scarce." Spike informed. "Plus there's also an alien hound boss with 3 heads as different enemies on this part. This is the last level guys, we can do it."

"Good thing we saved up on those med kits," Rainbow Dash added, "If only someone wasn't downed so many times on wave 13.

"Shut up," Scootaloo nagged, "Not my fault I got stuck in the corner with no ammo and 25 mad scientists stunning me."

"Alright, I'm thinking you two take the M60, and I'll take the flare gun just in case we need more supplies."

"C'mon man we have over the amount we can even store, we'll be fine." Scoots protested.

"Maybe, alright I'll take the Auto-Shotgun then. Oh shit, it's starting." The enemies shot down their barricades, dealing with them was no biggie though, they took to their positions and took them out one by one as they came out of the barricades. Now was the boss part, a singular dog head poked out through the crushed barricade, it then pushed it's way through revealing all three of it's massive heads. The turrets starting up on the dog, not even moving it's health bar down. "Focus on the smaller head right now, he does more damage but has less health." Slowly they took off the head's health until the head collapsed from the body. "Okay, the the middle one out!" They turned their attention to the center head, Scootaloo got in it's way while it was vomiting acid.

"Fuck, I'm out." she moped. Dash and Spike remained as they finished off the middle head, all that was left was the bulkier but weaker head. Both unloading all their ammo on it, it was down to only 1% health, both of their throwables and ammo depleted. It was suicide to try an melee attack it, if you got to close it could do an instant death crush.

Spike made his character look to Dash's as he told her, "Tell my family I love 'em." His character then charged the last head, stabbing at it, the head fell off the dog's body, sadly crushing Spike's character in the process. There was a cut scene of Dash's character standing over the carcass of the deceased alien dog beast, the announcer yelled 'Soldier, you are a TOTAL BADASS!'

"I did it!" the cheerful little girl exclaimed, "I did it I did it I did it! Thank you mister Spike. that was so cool the way you sacrificed yourself for me to win!"

Spike went straight faced and went into his serious voice, "Had it not been for the sacrifices made here today by these brave soldiers, we would have lost this war. But neigh, a sole survivor crushed past their ranks, one sacrificing themselves to ensure victory, and one dying because of a careless mistake like the turd she is!"

"At least I can still walk," Scootaloo jested.

"Well I killed an alien space dog with three heads, you tell me who's the winner" he retorted with a grin. Spike looked to the clock on his wall, "Damn, kid you might wanna get going, it's 7:12."

Her quickly snapped to the clock on the wall, "Awh, I was having so much fun though." She sighed as she stood up, and faced Spike giving him a bug hug, as well as Scootaloo, then running tot he door "Bye guys, I hope we can hang out again soon."

"See ya squirt."

"Later Rainbow."

Spike sighed as Scootaloo looked to him giggling, "Is babysitting always this easy and fun?"

"Nope, be lucky you were here on a good day and not on a day with crying or being assaulted." Scootaloo scooched over a little closer to him, Spike turned his attention to her, her face was burning red as she couldn't make eye contact with him. "Ehm, what're yo-" his words were cut off by her lips pressing against his, Spike was stupefied, but pushed into the kiss as well.

She pulled away blushing even brighter, "That was from the bet earlier..."

"Wow," was all that escaped his lips, honestly not knowing how to respond.

"S-shut up, it was just a kiss!" she shouted, rubbing her arm.

"I should bet you to kiss me more often." he said to himself.

"What was that?" she asked.

"N-nothing, I didn't say... anything about... yea it was just a kiss." he coughed.

"... Wanna keep playing?" she asked

Spike looked over to her, she quickly looked away, still obviously embarrassed about what she just did, "Sure" he answered, smiling contently. "If you don't die like a dumb dumb again."

"I bet I won't."

"Wanna wager on that?" Spike asked with a cocky grin, "A kiss says you'll die before wave 10."

"You're on." she replied.

Author's Note

This is by far the most enjoyable one I've written so far :rainbowkiss:. I didn't think I'd enjoy writing it cause I honestly didn't know how to start it, but I'm really satisfied with the way it came about. The beginning was fun to write, the middle was fun, and the ending was great. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it. Don't know if I should do Pinkie or AJ next.

Apple Jack's New Partner... in Crime

Pinkie's New Hero

Spike rose his aching head off the pillow, hearing his own heart throb through the veins pulsating in his head. His mouth parched, his eyes heavy, and that throbbing still pounding away in his skull. He pulled himself out of bed, knocking over a beer bottle, the events of last night quickly unraveling in his head. Drinking, playing games, rough housing, yep he'd been drinking with Scootaloo all night. He turned his head after hearing a faint mumble, noticing Scootaloo in his bed, she still had all her clothes on, so Spike assumed nothing 'happened'. He ignored her and made his way downstairs and into his kitchen. It was a mess, beer bottles and chips strung out among the counters and floor, he quickly threw some coffee grains into the coffee machine along with some water, and began picking up the mess. Tossing the beer bottles and chips into a bag, wiping up the rest of the shit that polluted the floor. 'Shit Scootaloo probably has work today, I'd better go wake her up.' Spike thought. He wasn't looking forward to doing it either, that aftermath with Scootaloo was always dreadful, she'd never move an inch after a night of drinking, she'd just lay there for hours on hours, one time even a whole day until she decided to get up. Spike made his way back upstairs to his 'Sleeping Beauty', he crawled onto the bed and shook her a bit, "Scoots, don't you have to work today?"

"Fuck you I'll call in sick," she moaned.

Spike lazily chuckled, "You sure sound the part, no doubt they'll believe you."

"... What am I doing in your bed anyway? Did we do shomething?"

"Well I guess neither of us know for sure, so let's just say no for now."

"Easy for you to say, you can't squirt a baby out your dick, unlike a woman." the sickly purple haired girl mumbled.

"Well we're both still wearing our clothes, so I doubt anything happened. Besides why would you fuck me anyway? You'd have to be more than drunk to do that." Spike explained.

"Can I stay here for a while, please?"

Spike patted her head reassuringly, "Whatever you want my princess."

"Thanks smartass." she moped as she turned back over. Spike chuckled a bit, it only hurt his head though as he did. He walked back downstairs getting a cup of coffee, and sitting down at this table, enjoying the silence of his house. His hands shaking as he brought his mug up to his lips, his home feeling like an icy tundra. It always felt so damn cold when the hangover set in for Spike, his coffee was like a fire to him as he downed it, hoping it'd help warm him up. He was about to shower until there was a knock at the door. 'I swear to god if I have to babysit some kid today I'm gonna shoot myself. Spike tossed his mug into the sink and made his was to the door.

"Listen buddy I can't exactly watch yo-" he began, but quickly stopped seeing an extremely stern Amish looking man. "I-I mean how can I help you?"

"Buddy? Anyone teach you anything about calling elders sir? I ain't your buddy, and you're prices for sittin' makes me wanna whip your ass right now, but my wife, me, and my two daughters gotta take an emergency trip into Equestria. There's only so much room in the cart, so I'm leaving the littlest one with you, I'll be back sometime around ten. If there's anything wrong with my daughter when I get back, you'd pray you weren't born." He walked off, revealing a very dead eyed pink haired little nine year old girl who stayed standing as her dad hopped back into his wagon, and took off. Spike swallowed the remaining masculinity he had before that freaky Amish dude took it all, he sighed heavily and opened the door, the little girl walking inside.

"So uh... hey." Spike stated, still shaken up over the lecture he was just given.

"Hello sir." the pink hair girl dully stated.

"Your pop sure is scary, don't tell him I said that." he chuckled, she was unresponsive. "Erm... So uh, what do you wanna do?"

"I dunno," she replied.

"Well what do you do for fun?"

"... Fun?" she asked, sounding unfamiliar with the word.

"You want to um... color?"

"What's that?" those dead eyes staring right at him, almost piercing his soul.

"Just uh... c'mere." he opened the drawer beside his couch and pulled out a color book with some colored pencils, walking over to his kitchen table as the little girl followed. Spike placed the coloring book in front of her along with the pencils. "So, you're telling me you don't know what to do?"

"Sorry sir, I don't"

"It's alright kid, there's a first time for everything," he replied as he came up from behind her, "Let's just pick out a page of a picture you really like, just tell me when to stop." Spike flipped through page after page, not once did she say anything, until he landed on the one with the barn did she say stop, 'Of course, why would I expect any different? Amish people...' "You like farms huh?"

"I live on one, but this one is different," she replied dully, "There's plants and stuff on it."

"What sorta farm do you live on?"

"A rock farm."

"... I didn't think they had those." Spike replied, trying to sound interested. 'Shit I can see why the kid looks so dead now, she's miserable the whole damn time. Scootaloo gets to sleep and I'm stuck here with a hangover watching the depressed kid of an angry Amish father.' "Okay kid, so what you wanna do now is pick a color you want whatever to be. The grass can be pink, or the barn could be purple, whatever you want it to be," she picked up the gray pencil, "Or gray that's a... depressing color, sure." Spike grabbed her arm and helped guide her to color in, once he let go though she just starting coloring the whole page in gray. Spike sighed and took position opposite of her at the table. "So kid, what's your name?"

"Pinkamena, sir." she replied,still coloring.

"That's a nice name."

"Really?..." she asked looking up at him.

"Well, yea. It's original, never heard anyone else called Pinkamena before."

"Oh... thank you." she said, almost smiling. Spike let a little grin overcome him, 'Alright, if she doesn't know what happiness is then let's show her.'

"Not very many girls I've met with pink hair, it suits you very well."

"I always liked my sisters' hair better, gray looks really nice," she replied unsure.

"Nonsense, you look cuter with pink rather than gray I think."

"Oh, thanks," she put the grey pencil down, looking over the others.

"If you don't mind me saying, I think you have really pretty blue eyes," Spike said with a smile.

"Why are you being so nice mister?" she asked, unsure how to respond.

"Sorry I always act so nervous around pretty women that I just say whatever comes to mind." she wiggled around in her chair, red faced. 'Okay, reel it back just a bit Spikey.' Spike looked to her drawing on the table, "I really like your drawing."

"You don't think that it's too gray?" she asked.

"Now that you mention it it does look a bit gray, we'll just add some other colors to it then." he retorted. She nodded a bit, her hands hovering over the pencils, unsure which to pick.

She was about to grab the black, but pulled away last second, "Uh... d-do you like blue?"

"As a matter of fact blue is my favorite color, let's make it a nice bright blue day for the farm." he could've sworn he heard a giggle in her throat. It was now Spike's mission to make this girl laugh before the day was over.

She put the pencil down, "How do you know when you're done?"

"When you're most satisfied with it."

She handed it to Spike, "Do you like it?" Being honest, it was literal shit. the entire lower half was all gray with a blue sky, obviously you can't tell a kid that, so he played it off.

"This looks really good, in fact, this is going right on the fridge," he stood up, putting the paper on the fridge and putting a magnet over it. "You know what's funner than coloring though?" he asked as he walked behind her.

"What?"

"Tickling!" he exclaimed, he quickly slipped his hands under her armpits and began to wriggle his fingers around. She wriggled around, unsure how to react letting out groans and moans (Not sexually you pervert). But her groans quickly turned more upbeat as he started poking at her sides, wriggling around so much her chair toppled over, Spike caught her as he still tickled at the giggling little girl.

"Noooo, stop please!" she begged. Spike drew away from the still giggling kid, "Why'd you do that?" she asked, still laughing.

"To make you laugh, and it worked too, I had you laughing harder than I ever did my entire life."

"I like laughing, it makes me feel good." she smiled, her eyes not looking quite as dead, in fact there was a slight glisten to them.

"That's what fun is, it's laughing, it's doing stuff you enjoy, stuff your grumpy old dad wouldn't understand," Spike explained, making her giggle again.

"I got an idea. What do you normally eat kid?"

"Uhh... Bread, peas, corn, chicken."

"Ever eat a doughnut or a cupcake? Comfort foods?"

"What's that? Com-fort foods?" she said trying to mouth it out.

"Alright kid, we need to get you to the Cake's place stat." He gestured her to follow as he stood up and made his way to the door. "SCOOTALOO! I'll be back in a sec, you better not start drinking again!"

"Who are you yelling at?" Pinkamena asked as she walked outside, holding Spike's hand.

"Someone you never need to meet," Spike mumbled as he shut the door behind him.

"Good morning Spike, so sorry to hear you got fired from your job, we sure do miss you coming in every morning." Mrs. Cake said.

"Sorry Mrs. Cake, it's no biggie about the job, and besides I got a job babysitting cuties like these," he replied, still holding Pinkamena's hand. "So kid, you just pick whatever you want."

"I don't know what any of this is." she mumbled, embarrassed.

"Mrs. Cake, what do you recommend for a little girl who's never eaten any sort of pastry before?"

"A girl who has never had a pastry must be one sad little girl, tell ya what sweetie, I'll go get you a couple of things, don't both paying Spike," she replied warmly.

"Thanks Mrs. C, you the best." The two then sat down at a table nearest to the window. "You excited kid? You're mind's gonna explode when you taste some of these sweets."

"Now I'm kinda scared that you said that, I like my mind not blow-y up-y."

"It's only a metaphor kid," he chuckled.

"... A what?"

"Nothing." Spike replied sheepishly. Mr. Cake walked over, laying down a try of assorted goodies. "Oh, thanks Mr. Cake."

"Hey this is an emergency, a kid who's never had anything like this before is no kid at all." he replied, "Enjoy kid. I gotta get back, those sweet rolls ain't gonna roll themselves."

"They both seem really nice," Pinkie said, somewhat puzzled.

"Well they both live in a bakery, they're surrounded by goodies like these all day so it makes sense that they're chipper. Speaking of which, dig in kid, they're all for you." She raised her shaky palm over the sweets that laid before her, unknowing which to pick.

"Let's just start simple," Spike began as he picked the cookie up and handing it to her, "Cookie, it's flour, chocolate, and sugar." She took it and brought it up to her mouth and slightly nibbled at it. Her eyes shot open, taking a bigger bite out of it.

"Heheh, if you think that's good," Spike picked up a muffin as she finished scarfing down the cookie, "Muffin, berry like fruits, flour, sugar."

"Those look kinda like the tiny loaves of cornbread my mom sometimes makes." she said as she took it, biting into it, taking big bites out of it.

"Alright kid you can pick whichever one you want now, Hey Mr. Cake, get the biggest glass of milk you got!"

Sweet after sweet, bite after bite, she got everything down. The sweet rolls, the cupcakes, the cookies and mini pie, the brownies, the muffins, giving everything a try!... Why'd that rhyme? "Well kid how was... well, everything?"

"Daddy always talks about how nice heaven is, I hope it's as nice as this." she burped.

"Is it just me or did your hair get curlier?" Spike laughed, ruffling the little girls head.

"Hey you two, we're about to close up, you might wanna head home about now," Mrs. Cake informed.

"Alright, thanks again Mrs. Cake," Spike replied as he stood up.

Pinkamena however charged over at Mrs. Cake, wrapping her in a big hug, "Thank you so much Mrs. Cake, I wish I could live here forever like you!"

Mrs. Cake only laughed awkwardly, "M-maybe someday sweetheart, now run along, we have a lot to take care of." Spike offered Pinkamena his hand and they walked out together.

"You seem a lot more lively Pinkamena, glad I could show you the world of sweets."

"Eugh, I'm really starting to dread that name, call me... um... Pinkie!" she exclaimed.

"I like it, really fits your new personality kid," Spike chuckled.

"Thanks for showing me fun stuff Mr. Spike. You made me think there's more to all this than just tossing and breaking rocks. You're kinda like my hero," she said, brightly smiling as she pressed closer to him.

"Shit kid all I did was show you how to color and ate sweets with you, there's plenty more fun stuff where that came from." They drew closer to the house, Spike's heart skipped a beat when he noticed the buggy from earlier in front of his house, the Amish dude at the door talking to Scoots, looks like they got done early with their little job up in Equestria.

"I'm telling you dude, Spike said he left with some kid earlier, they ain't here," Scootaloo explained.

"Shows what I get leaving her alone with folks such as yourself. If my daughter isn't back in the next ten minutes I'm calling the police."

"Daddy!" Pinkie shouted, running over to him and giving him a big hug.

"You!" he shouted, pushing Pinkie aside, 'This is how I'm gonna die, at the hands of some pissed off whack job Amish dude.' He hoisted Spike into the air by his shirt collar.

"Where the hell do you get off at? You disrespect me earlier and now you run off with my girl, you got a thing for little kids? Huh?!"

"Daddy please stop!" Pinkie pleaded.

"Stay out of this, you're in just as much trouble as he's i-" Spike clobbered him across the jaw, causing both of them to fall.

Spike quickly stood up, dusting himself off as farmer boy picked himself up,"Sorry I had to do that, sir. But your daughter, hell probably even your whole family looks, and more than likely feel miserable. You think kids love banging rocks against... rocks, all day? I showed her happiness for once in her life, she didn't even know what the hell 'fun' meant. So go ahead, kick my ass for doing something you obviously didn't with your kids, showed them love." Spike roared, raising his fists to fight.

"No one's ever spoken to me that way before, and come to find out it's some low life teenage scum like you... But damn if I didn't deserve it," Spike lowered his fists, genuinely confused. "You're right, I'm nothing but hard on my kids. I never teach them 'fun', I never give them love, but I do it so they can survive. I need helping hands around the farm, we simply can't afford to waste time by having fun."

"That may be true, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't hug them, kiss them, show them affection even in the slightest way. They're just kids, not farm hands. And maybe just one day a week you can let them do whatever, or even change your profession, no doubt the land down there from where you live has a lot of minerals, I'm sure you'd make a nice living farming normal crops and not just... rocks."

Pinkie clung to her fathers shirt sleeve, his other kids heads popping out of the wagon as well as his wife. He gently took Pinkie's hand off his sleeve and approached Spike, and stuck his hand out to him. Spike returned the gesture, and shook hands with each other, "You taught me a lot kid, thanks for setting me straight. And maybe you're right about the farm, I could maybe terraform it into growable land." He stuck his hand down into his pocket and whipped out a small stack of bills, sighing heavily, it's obvious they didn't have a lot of money at the moment.

"Don't worry about pay, just treat your family to something nice real soon with the money," Spike suggested.

He tucked the bills back into his overalls, patting Spike on the shoulder, "You're a good kid. Sorry I misjudged you earlier." he turned to his family, "Quartz, let's eat out tonight."

"Are you sure honey?" she asked.

"I'm sure, I owe you all a little something." he said with a weak smile.

They all cheered, including Pinkie, she quickly ran over to Spike and gave him a big warm hug, "Bye mister Spike, I hope daddy let's me come over again soon."

"Me to kid," Spike replied as he hugged her back. She quickly ran off to the wagon, and was off with their now happy family. Spike walked into the library, Scootaloo smiling at him as she entered. "What're you smiling about."

"Pretty cool the way you punched a guy in the face and made HIM feel bad about it. You're a real hero Spike," Scootaloo laughed as she turned away.

"Yep," Spike said to himself, "A real hero."

Author's Note

Strangely enough I enjoyed writing this one as well, maybe not as much as Dash's, but still I really enjoyed writing, when I thought I wouldn't. To be honest, Pinkie is my least favorite, too explosive and all over the place, so I changed it up a bit and went all Pinkamena turning into Pinkie instead. All that's left now is AJ, and maybe a few other background ponies or ones that showed up for a couple of episodes, maybe even Discord :trollestia:.

The Great and Powerful Trixie's New Servant

Apple Jack's New Partner... in Crime

AppleJack continued down the path into Town, she'd rarely ever been into Town, and now she was gonna be there the whole day with a person she didn't even know. "Uh, sis, didn't ya say you knew this boy, right?" she asked warily.

"Yea we went to school together, had a lot of the same classes, why'd ya ask?"

"I'm kinda scared is all."

"Don't worry sis, he's real cool. Real funny too, he should treat you okay until we get this barn raised."

"You an' Granny Smith can't do it all alone!" AJ stated

"Nope, Big Mac's helping too."

"Then why can't I?"

"Cause you're too lil. Big Mac's got a few years on ya, plus he's more bulky. 'Sides he ain't doign much, just hammering and screwing... Erm, that came out wrong." The statement making AJ laugh like mad, "How'd ya even know what I meant just then? You know too much for a lil kid."

AJ still giggling look ahead in the distance, making a huge tree with windows, "Is that it sis?"

"Yep, that's the library I reckon. It did say it was a big tree, this is exciting, I ain't seen Spike in so long." They drew closer to the door, before they could knock Spike opened the door.

"Hey Applebloom. I got your text, I was wondering when you were gonna get here." Spike said with a smile, "And this must be AppleJack. How long did you say I'm gonna be watching her for?"

"I'll be here when we get the barn raised, shouldn't be too long. Since everyone's gonna be too busy to watch AJ I reckon I'd just leave her with you until then." she knelt down to AJ, "You see? He ain't no bite, now get, I got a barn to help raise." she said playfully as she ruffled AJ's head. AJ walked into the library, amazed to see the inside of a tree, one as big as this hollowed out.

Spike waved goodbye to Applebloom and shut the door, "This place is huge," AJ muttered to herself.

"Yep, certainly a step up from a Tree house, huh kid?" Spike said with a grin. "So kid, what do you want to do? I ain't too good with this babysitting business so I just let the kids do what they want, with my supervision of course. Don't want them drinking toilet water or ripping books off the shelves."

AJ giggled, calming down somewhat, "Well... I don't know. I didn't even know there's gonna be a barn raising today, so this is..."

"Unexpected?"

"Yea, I ain't good with big words." she added, "Do you have any dollies?"

"Maybe I got one around here somewhere, I got a toy chest and scooped anything up that kids like and just shoved it in there." Spike said as he walked to the box, "Picture books... water pistol... Okay this thing's REALLY not for kids so I'm taking that out... Ah, here we go." Spike mumbled as he pulled out a plastic girl figure and handed it to AJ.

"Why's it all... hard?"

"Huh?... It's a doll kid."

"Not the ones we have at home, them are soft and puffy," she said, dangling the doll in front of her, examining it.

"I doubt I have any stuffed dolls if that's what you mean... erm, wanna just watch Tv?" Spike asked as he scratched the back of his head.

"Whasat?" the little blonde haired girl asked quizzically.

'I was getting relatively normal kids at first, now I'm getting ones that don't know what fun and Tv's are...' Spike stood up and guided the little girl over to the couch, he then grabbed the remote and turned it on.

'We now return you to The Real Housewives of Equestria.'

"Gurl you actin cra-cra."

"Uh uh gurl, you actin' cra-cra."

"Y'all both be actin cra-cra."

"Why's there tiny people in that box? Is this thing magic?" the kid asked in awe.

"No it's a manner of wires and receivers running to collect messages beamed from outer space sent out from broadcasting stations," Spike explained, forgetting that he was not only talking to a kid, but a redneck one at that.

"... I don't get it," she replied, scratching her head.

"Yes it's magic. Let's watch something else that won't kill you brain cells," 'Not like you have much a brain to begin with.' Spike flipped through channel after channel, the little girls head flicking back to the screen and to him, looking very confused.

"How're ya doing that?"

"You mean changing the channel? You just hit this button here," Spike said, pointing to the channel button.

"Can uh... Can I try?"

"Knock yourself out kid," Spike replied, handing her the remote.

"Why'd I wanna do that?"

"No it's an idiom kid," Spike tried to explain.

"You callin' me an idiot?" AJ pouted.

Spike ruffled her head playfully, "Course not, yer the smartest gurl I know, I'd rekon," he said with a deep southern accent. Making AppleJack giggle a bit before turning her attention back to the Tv. 'Glad she took that as a joke and not as being a smartass.' Spike's phone began to ring, he stood up and walked to the kitchen as he hit 'Accept'.

"Hello?"

"Hey Spike, it's ya gurl Scoots."

Spike chuckled, "Wassup baby?" he asked, getting into the act.

"I was wondering if you wanted to drink together again this Friday." she asked nervously.

"I think you might just be an alcoholic. You never ask to go the the movies or just hang out."

"Wanna watch a movie then?"

"Whatcha got in mind sweet cheeks?" Spike laughed.

"Scootaloo get off the damn phone, there're customers wanting to scan their food!" Spike heard from the background, must've been the manager.

"There's like five other lines professor dick shit, plus it's a business call, sorry for doing my job." Scootaloo barked.

"Dick shit, that's a nice movie. You should rent it out for us to watch."

"I was planning on watching Mick and Rorty, it's a comedy about an uncle and nephew who have to save space and time by intercepting realms and dimensions. It's for rent down at Block Bluster, wanna watch it with me this Friday?"

"Can do, see ya then In the meantime, give the manager a big wet kiss for me," Spike said seductively.

"As if, I'd sooner eat my own shit, I really got to go though, bye Spike."

"Later Scoots," Spike chuckled as he hung up. He walked back into the Lobby to see the little girl practically glued to the Tv, "Ah, glad to see you found something you like." Spike got in view of the Tv screen noticing a rather busty woman opening the door for a pizza delivery guy, who was starting to undo his belt, "Okay enough Tv!" Spike said and he grabbed the remote from her hands and shut it off. "Kid you should wait 'till you got about ten more years on your life, then you can start watching that sorta stuff, or six more years at the very least."

"What was it? And why was that fella about to take his pants off?"

"He uh... He lives there! And he was very exhausted from making pizza trips all day, and his wife was..."

"Gonna what?"

"She was going to... get him more comfortable pants?..." Spike replied, more suggestive rather than direct.

"But he brought her a pizza."

"Yea well... Nevermind let's go buy you some dolls, will that shut you up?" Spike grumbled.

"Ya mean it?!" She exclaimed, hopping up off the couch.

"Yea if you drop the subject of what you just saw."

"Let's go!" she shouted, as she grabbed Spike's hand and pulled him towards the door.

"You don't even know where it is!"

"What is this place?" AJ asked, her eyes flicking around the building, looking almost intimidated. A huge glazed cement wall, almost three times bigger than Granny Smith's barn!

"This is a toy store. I'm sure we can get you like a plushy or something." They walked together inside, a cool waft of air hit them as the automatic doors opened, making AJ let out a surprised gasp. "Bet they ain't got magic opening doors on your farm huh?" she shook her head, looking nervous to enter, "C'mon kid, the only thing scary in here is their prices and how much shit costs here, and the only person that's gonna scare is the buyer, me." Spike grabbed her hand gently, snapping her out of whatever state she was in and walked in with him. Cheerful music subtly playing from the speakers, bright kids with their dreaded looking parents perusing the store for toys for their little shits. "Anything in mind you may want?"

"Uhh... a pony."

"Alright, let's find you a plushy pony." They started walking down the isles, dodging yelling boys playing with toys they've already ripped out of the boxes, AJ clinging very close to Spike. Until they reached the more girlier isle, with all things pink and perfect. Barbies, toy houses, baby dolls, and all this pink! It made him want to vomit, and confused on whether or not to turn back to go into the boys section or not.

"Nah, just listen to how cool this is!" a blue haired kid announced as she picked up a play-computer and hit a button, making it blast unnecessarily loud dubstep.

"That's just gross, I like the more stringy music toys," a well dressed girl retorted as she pressed a button on her toy violin.

"Hahah! Trixie is a real wizard now!" a little girl yelled, holding a play wand, pointing it at people as it made little magic sounds, "Take that, and that! Trixie will turn you all into hideous little monsters, fear Trixie!"

"I don't know if I like this place or not Mr. Spike." Aj whimpered.

"I'm right there with ya. Wait a sec, I think I see some plushies up ahead." They pushed their way through more little brats to get to the plushie isle. Spike was waiting for her to take an interest to one, but as they kept walking she didn't stop to look at one. They reached the end of the isle, empty handed and Spike with a mild migraine, I guess kids are more used to loud noises then older people. Spike let out a sigh and was about to apologize to AJ, but she started digging through the toy return box beside the final isles counter. She pulled out a raggedy orange plushy pony with yellow hair, and just stared at it. 'Please for the love of god say you like it so we can leave.' , finally she hugged it closely to herself.

"Hey, you know that's where you put in returned toys, right?" A dopey eyed yellow haired employee asked as they approached the two.

"Oh, hey Derpy. Can we not buy this one?" Spike asked.

"I dunno, I can ask my boss."

Spike handed her ten dollars, "It's a messy old stuffed horse, no one's gonna miss it around here."

She looked at the money, well one of her eyes did anyway, and took it, "Oh man, I feel so naughty doing this," she giggled. She whipped a grocery store bag out from a roll in her back pocket, and bagged the stuffed horse. "Thank you for shopping, have a great day!" she waved as Spike and AJ walked away.

"Ya happy now kid?"

"Uh huh," she said, hugging her little pony, "I think I'm gonna name it... Apple Fritters!"

"Sweet name," Spike replied, he then noticed a girl with rainbow streaks in her hair talking to an older white haired kid, 'Is that that other kid I watched?...' "Rainbow Dash, hey!" Spike called out, the girl turning her head revealing it was indeed Dash.

"Mr. Spike!" she exclaimed as she ran towards Spike, giving him a big hug.

"What're you doing here?"

"My friend Gilda found this cutter thingy that cuts off the alarm tag that makes the alarms go off when you take something without scanning it. We're using it now on some of the toys."

"You want anything else while we're here AJ? Looks like we can get some more stuff thanks to our mischievous little friend," Spike chuckled.

"Who said it was free?" Dash purred, "Cash or no offers."

"We'll tell on you if you don't," Spike replied flatly.

"I... alright, but when I come over next time you have to order a cheese pizza."

"Half cheese, half pepperoni."

"Deal!" she exclaimed. "Tell me what you want and I'll get Gilda to get snippin'."

"Okay AJ, whatever you want."

"Uh... I dunno. I guess I kinda liked them talking robo puppies at the front. And that popgun revolver was pretty neat," she replied.

"On it, nice taste by the way kid, I already got four of those robo dogs back home," Rainbow replied, and ran back to Gilda. Five minutes later she came back to them with both toys, "Alright here, we can't get anymore, Gilda and me are going to the Cake's bakery. She says she knows a way into the Cake's place through the back, we're gonna steal some cookies."

"You're way to talkative with doing illegal stuff, I recommend never going into stealing for a living, you'd just blab about it," Spike jested as he put the toys in his baggy.

"Whatever, later Spike, later AJ," she exclaimed, "Hey Gilda, wait up!"

"She's uh..." AJ started.

"What? Enthusiastic, loud, evil? Evil is a good word."

"I was gonna say cute..." AJ mumbled.

"Oooookay, let's get back to the library."

"We're such bad people, stealing over priced toys from a shitty toy store. Heheh, you could say we're, 'Partners in Crime'."

"I don't get it..." the confused blonde haired girl replied.

"Ehh, why'd I expect you to. Also if your sis asks, I bought the toys, and don't bring up the Tv thing you saw earlier." Just then there was a knocking at the door, "Ah there she is now," Spike sighed as he opened the door, a sweat covered red haired teen awaiting an answer, panting a bit.

"Hey you two. Uh AJ, the barn kinda fell over and we need all hands to pick up the debris, I hurried over as quick as I could to come get ya. Guess that means you get to help out after all. Ya ready to go sis?"

"Yep, look at all the toys Mr. Spike got me," AJ giggled as she handed Applebloom her bag.

"Aw Spike, that was awful sweet of ya ta get my sister some toys." Applebloom sighed as she wrapped her arms around Spike.

"N-no prob bob." Spike stuttered, not knowing how to react with her boobs squeezing into his chest, only a tank top and a bra preventing them tig ol bitties from touching him. Spike cleared his throat as Applebloom released her grip, "So uh, terms of payment?"

"How much I owe ya?" she asked, whipping out a wallet. It fit her somewhat, Spike couldn't imagine Applebloom hauling around a purse.

"Well... Discount for friends, just thirty bucks." 'Also the fact that you practically rubbed your tits on me took a chunk off too.' She whipped out a small wad of cash and handed it to Spike.

"Thanks again Spike, c'mon sis."

AJ began walking out the door but stopped briskly, she turned around and gave Spike a big hug, "I never thanked ya for the toys. Thanks Mr. Spike."

"You're welcome squirt, now go on, get. Your sister needs your help." AJ giggled and quickly hurried outside with her sis, shutting the door behind her.

"Now to go relieve myself and imagine those tits on my chest again," Spike said to himself and he walked up to his bedroom.

Author's Note

Cheesy ass title, I know. But it's the only thing I could think of :applejackunsure:. Also kinda a dumb ending, hope you guys liked the main six, I may even do double whammy's with some girls being over at the same time, kind of a play date of sorts. Also I referenced like three or four things in here, some more subtle then others, care to spot them all :raritywink:?

:applecry: It was just a hug Spike, didn't think ya'd jerk off to ma tits.

Two Wrongs Don't Make the Night Right.

The Great and Powerful Trixie's New Servant

"I hate book reorganizing day... Oh if only there was some way I could get out of doing this by babysitting." Spike whined as he looked towards the door. "... I said, if only there was SOME way I could get OUT of doing this by BABYSITTING!" Sadly the door did not comply to his wishes and simply remained a closed door. "Dammit, I always sit an unforeseen moments! Fine, I'll start reorganizing." Spike grabbed the first book, and just then there was a knock on his door, "Thank god!" He tripped over his side table in his excitement to answer the knocking, he dusted himself off and cleared his throat. He then swung open the door, a lovely looking couple and their not so lovely looking kid stood before them.

"Hi, can you watch our sweetpea for a while?" the man asked.

"Sure, how long and what circumstances?"

"Me and my wife have a quick show to do down in Canterlot, in the meantime our daughter will be staying over night, we'll be back to pick her up at seven, is that alright sir?"

"That's a twelve hour stay, you realize this will cost quite a pretty penny right?" Spike asked. Of course Spike wanted their money, but he wasn't that set on ripping people off.

"Oh it's nothing that'll affect our income. In fact, we have the amount of money it'll take right now," the man replied with a smile as he whipped out his wallet, handing Spike a hundred and forty four dollars. Spike was popping such a massive money boner he almost swiped it out of his hand, but the man pulled the cash away, "But, if our daughter happens to call us sounding upset or sad, we will come back very unpleased, and you will go without pay, understood?"

"Yea yea yea, don't worry. Every kid I've sat so far has been more then pleased, I'm sure your daughter will be of no trouble."

The man leaned into Spike, "You have no idea," he whispered to him. He pulled away and handed Spike the money, and the two walked off, leaving their daughter.

"So uh, come on in," Spike said sheepishly, she turned her nose up and walked inside. 'Great, I'm sitting a spoiled rich kid, A.K.A. a guaranteed future bitch.' Spike shut the door behind him, noticing the girl darting her eyes around the place.

"This place is in horrid condition," she began as she tossed her bag beside the door, "Cans and cups set out on the table with missing coasters, the books are completely out of order and all over the place, the furniture looks like it was pulled from some cheesy 90's home, and it reeks like something had defecated recently."

"Well it's not exactly in it's top condition, but it could be worse," Spike replied rubbing the back of his head.

"Not far from it. Trixie has not had dinner yet, go make Trixie something."

"Wait, who's Trixie?"

"Me, Trixie is Trixie. You really are as dumb as you look," she said in disgust, refusing to make eye contact with Spike.

"... Right, what do you want?"

"Trixie supposes you do not have smoked salmon or spicy moroccan shrimp tagine. What do you have?"

"Off the top of my head I know I got a few mini oven baked pizzas and some spaghetti-O's," Spike replied, expecting to be horribly shot down. This kid was malicious, she was so fluent and wordy but had such a bite, especially for an eight year old.

"Great, why not just drop Trixie off at a soup kitchen where smelly homeless people linger and defecate!... Trixie supposes she will have some spaghetti-O's."

"Sure thing madam," Spike said sarcastically as he made his way to the kitchen.

"Finally some respect." Spike threw some a can of spaghetti-O's in the cook pot with some water. 'She thinks she's smart but can't detect sarcasm when she sees it.' Spike kept at the spaghetti-O's, putting them in a bowl once he was finished. Spike walked back into the lobby with her bowl in hand, noticing her fiddling around with the book shelf as he put her bowl down on the living room table.

"What're you..." Spike muttered noticing the books, almost every single one aligned in author's last name. "Did... did you do this?"

"But of course, who else but the oh so resourceful Trixie could do such a task in such little time," she purred.

"I... I can't even begin to thank you!" Spike exclaimed smiling from ear to ear, "Holy shit, I was dreading to do that for so long today and you finished it in like five minutes, you're amazing kid!

"Erm... Yes, T-trixie is quite amazing. Why think otherwise?" she stated, trying to hide her blush.

"For doing that I'm gonna give you a treat from my secret stash of goodies, no-bake peanut butter bars with chocolate glazing. So damn good it'll much your mouth water just looking at it," Spike said rushing back into the kitchen.

"Such barbaric language, must you curse in every sentence you speak?" Trixie nagged.

"Well it's my house my rules. In fact, you can cuss all you want in my house, you can wear your underwear around, you can let any noxious odors pour out your ass or your mouth as you please. Whatever you want kiddo, all I ask is that you don't shit or piss anywhere that's not the bathroom, and to not break anything." Spike said he he tossed her a peanut butter bar. Instead of catching it she only eeped as it smacked her across her temple. Spike hurried over to her, "Shit you alright kid? My bad I thought you'd catch it."

"That's it, Trixie's calling her mother!" she exclaimed.

"No no no no no! Look, I'll do anything you want, just please don't call your parents. This is a lot of money and I don't wanna lose it."

"Hmm... How much does this money mean to you?" she asked, rubbing her forehead.

"Well it feeds me so it means more than a lot actually, it's more like my existence."

The kid let a wicked grin overcome her mischievous little face, "Bow to Trixie."

"Erm... what?" Trixie grinned at him and raised her phone, teasing to type the number of her parents out out. Spike knew she needn't say anymore, if he didn't do as she said she'd call her parents. "Can't believe I'm taking orders from a kid," Spike mumbled to himself as he began to kneel.

"What was that? Speaking back to your money grab now are you?"

"Urgh, whatever. I've been payed more," Spike groaned, his words muffled with his face touching the floor.

"Silence! You shan't speak to Trixie in that manner... In fact, you shall call Trixie, 'The Great and Powerful Trixie!'" she announced, throwing her hands in the air.

"Can I call you TGPT for short?"

"No, and you do not talk to Trixie that way. As punishment," she walked behind him and hopped upon his back, "You must give Trixie a piggyback ride!"

"You gotta be shitting me..." Spike sighed.

"Quiet steed, onward!" Spike sadly played his part, with not much effort. He walked on all fours at a brisk pace, the little twerp giggling away on his back the entire time, kicking at his sides. Imitating gun shut sounds and Indian war cries, kicking even harder.

"This isn't the way a more proper girl should be acting, should it?" Spike moped.

"Oh now I'm taking orders from the horse?"

"Listen kid my knees hurt and my sides are bruised, can't I do something else?"

"You're pathetic, fine. Trixie has grown tired, you must give The Great and Powerful Trixie a foot massage." she ordered.

"I'd sooner blow hot air up a dog's ass," Spike replied flatly.

"What was that? I could've sworn I heard a dumb teenage boy say he wanted a beautiful child's parents to not pay him for his shoddy babysitting job." Spike sighed and got up to get the lotion out of his drawer (Don't ask why he knows it's there), Trixie giggling and snorting as she stripped her shoes and socks off, she was loving the fact she could boss Spike around and make him do just about anything, and it was pissing him off. "Have you ever sat a more fabulous girl other than Trixie?" she asked in a flirtatious tone.

"The side of me that cares about the money I'm getting from this, I'd say no. At the stand point of my actual opinion, every other kid I watched was better then you, even the one that made me break down in public." Spike said as he squirted lotion into his hands.

"What's your definitive answer?"

"Why it's you madam Trixie." he replied sarcastically as he starting rubbing away at her little feet.

"Ah ah, It's The Great and Powerful Trixie to you." she corrected as she laid back and grabbed a magazine from the table.

"Say, I could've sworn I saw you at the toy store a couple of days ago."

"Yes, Trixie was a good girl so she got to pick out some toys while mommy and daddy waited in the car."

"Wait so your parents let you just buy your own toys? Like, 'Oh here's fifty dollars got get something you like.'"

"Fifty?! As if, they give Trixie at least a hundred." she scoffed.

"Well I got a kid several toys for free and didn't even have to pay."

"Less talky, more rubby." Trixie demanded.

Spike kept kneading away at her little soles, until she put the magazine back on the table, "Trixie grows tired of this foot massage."

"What would The Great and Powerful Trixie like to do next?"

"Excellent question... Trixie does not know, Trixie is bored. You are a terrible entertainer to your magnificent guest," Trixie moped.

"Wanna... I dunno, play a board game?"

"You really think Trixie would like to play such lowly games on a cheap piece of cardboard and plywood with the dumbest of missions or objectives?"

"Uh... yes?" Spike replied, not knowing what else to say.

"Fine, what board games do you think Trixie would like?"

"Life, probably not. Monopoly, you'd end up stealing all my money unfairly. Don't Wake Daddy, that game's dumb anyway... Ever play Dungeons and Dragons?"

"Ewh, that is a game for those with no lives or self respect. Why would you think Trixie would want to play?"

"One, because you have no self respect or respect for others so that's a double whammy. Two, it's a make your own adventure so those are always fun. And three, you can play as whatever you want to, for the most part." Spike said cheerfully.

"Even a wizard?" she asked stary eyed.

"Kid, you can be a mother fucking wizard of dragons. You can be literally anything."

"Trixie is intrigued. It is settled, Trixie shall play this Dungeons and Dragons." They spent the next ten minutes filling out a character sheet, pouring most of her points into Intellect and Wisdom. Her character a teenage vampire necromancy wizard, he starting items an antique Staff, four healing potions, a studded cape, and a necklace with an evil reddish glowing alicorn. Spike had already filled out an adventure sheet, he did the very same when Scootaloo was over and her character nearly died, with a few adjustments Spike edited the opening text to better convey her character into the adventure.

"Okay, let me set the scene, 'The Town sought out a noble hero to help rid the Town of their problem with the nightly raids from necromancy bandits. They figured that if anyone knew anything about raising the dead, it would be...' Okay do I really have to say the whole damn thing?"

"Yes you do," Trixie nagged.

"Fine, '... it would be the Great and Powerful Trixie. They searched high and low for her, until finding her at an abandon cathedral for more subjects to summon. They begged her to help with their problem, and with a high amount of reward money she gladly accepted. Though a lowly necromancer, se ha-'

"Hold on!" the steamed little blue haired girl barked, "Lowly?!"

"Well... yea, most heroes start out as under dogs who struggle and make their own name through harrowing stories of ba-"

"Trixie don't care about that! They already know Trixie's prestige back ground with the vampiric clan that my parents began, Trixie should be considered far more then lowly."

"Holy shit, fine, 'She was a kickass fucking wizard and could best anything that tried to... steal and just... or something. I don't know but she was fucking amazing and she went to the cave where the shitty necromancer shit heads were.' Spike improvised

Getting into character she cleared her throat, "I summon the undead to do my bidding!" she declared.

"Okay there are a few corpses hanging around the front so you cast your spell on several of them, roll dice for initiative." Trixie picked up her twenty sided dice and rolled it, rolling a one. "Wow, extreme bad luck. The corpses are given life, but quickly turn on their mistress. They swing for..." Spike rolled three separate times, "Yikes, thirty four hit points, your armor negates twenty one percent so that's twenty seven, which leaves you at... 13 hit points left."

"Are you kidding me!? Trixie wants a redo!"

"You can't do that, it's unfair to the other players and the game!" Spike objected.

"Well the game is dumb and there's no one else but a beautiful little girl and a lowly teenage boy who wastes his time playing RPG's and nerd stuff."

"Okay you think it's bad we'll just stop playing," Spike said aggressively and starting shuffling the pieces back into the box.

"Trixie is calling calling her parents!"

"Fine, go ahead and call your fucking parents, and afterwards put yourself to bed. I'm going to sleep, so I can get away from the little satan successfully becoming the bitchiest kid ever with no care of other people's feelings.\," Spike replied as he put the board game away and marched upstairs. Slamming his bedroom door, making the little girl flinch in surprise.

"Dumb fucking kid. Thinks she has the bigger dick cause her parents are paying me, 'Meh Trixie Trixie Trixie, rub Trixie's feet, Trixie thinks your a fat fucking turd, look at me I'm Trixie, Trixie suck her own dick she loves herself so much, meh meh meh meh!'" Spike said aloud to himself as he put on his PJ pants. He shut the light off and threw himself into bed, throwing the blankets over himself with a deep sigh. He was to pissed to fall asleep, to upset, but didn't want to admit it to himself. So he laid there, staring at the ceiling, hands folded over his stomach, trying to listen closely to what was happening downstairs, he didn't hear anything. 'Why do I care if she calls her fucking parents, just toss her out and flip them off once they get here.' Spike heard a knocking at his door, he knew it was the brat, he didn't respond or even get up, he just laid there.

"Answer the door." Spike still did nothing, staring at the ceiling, 'I wonder why they call a sandwich a sandwich... Like it's bread with something in the middle... They should call it like a bread 'something'.' Spike heard her sigh on the other end of the door, "Answer the door... please." Spike's eyes widened a bit, he didn't expect the kid to even know what that word was, let alone what it meant. He knew he was going to regret this, he stood up and opened his door, Trixie in a loose white shirt and blue PJ pants with stars on them. She quickly regained her proper stance, her head slightly tilted upwards, hands behind her back, "Ahem... Trixie has not called her parents. She fells as though... to give you a second chance."

"Wow, I sure am gracious, what else did you want before I slam the door in your face?" Spike replied flatly.

"In exchange for not relaying info on your... not-so-good job, Trixie demands you let her sleep with you."

"So now I'm indebted to you because you unfairly treated me like shit and I got a impatient once? How about this, you just admit that you want to sleep with me and I'll consider it."

"Trixie thinks that... well Trixie is... alright Trixie admits it." she moped.

Spike grinned a little, seeing her finally give in to being nice, "Alright squirt, c'mon," Spike said as he walked back to his bed. The little girl smiled for a brief moment, but soon went serious face again and shut the door behind her. Spike crawled into bed, scooting over to give the kid some room as she then laid down as well. They laid together in silence, "So, you're not gonna say anything mean about my bed? How uncomfortable it is, or how the sheets smell, or maybe how the blankets are too hot? Or maybe you're saving it to belittle me more."

"Trixie likes the bed. And Trixie was only teasing, jeez," she pouted.

"If that's your idea of teasing, I'd hate to see you actually being mean."

"Trixie demands that... I mean, Trixie asks that you cuddle with her."

"As if," Spike scoffed.

"Trixie will put in a good word for Mr. Spike," she added.

"Yea, and then I'd have to babysit you more and get made fun of even more often." She opened her mouth to say something, but slowly shut it, there was nothing she could say to help her proposal so she just rolled over opposite of him. Spike sighed as he turned over and wrapped his arms around her, making her giggle softy a bit and she grabbed his arms accepting the snuggle. "Shut up, I'm just cold is all..."

Spike slowly opened his aching eyes, the sound of knocking ringing in his head. Reality quickly came to him, he was supposed to have Trixie out the door by 7 am, looking down in his arms he saw the very same girl sucking her thumb, clinging to his shirt. He carefully looked behind him, the clock read 7:11, he turned back and gently shook the child awake. "Hey twerp, c'mon your parents are here."

"Five more minutesh..." she moaned.

"We've had eleven minutes extra, your parents are at the door right now. C'mon let's go." She groaned as she pulled herself up, her hair a mess, eyes barely open as she smacked her lips. Spike pulled open his drawer and tossed her a brush, "Make yourself look semi-decent while I go chat with your parents." He then opened his door and paced himself downstairs into the lobby, the knocking getting slightly harsher.

"Couldn't you just open the door?" a feminine voice asked.

"I could but he's locked it." Spike unlocked the door and opened it, "Ah, there you are. Sorry we were late, but I suppose you are late as well. So no foul done."

"Yea sorry about that," Spike chuckled, "Forget to put on an alarm last night. I checked on her before I came down, she's still asleep."

"Was she of any trouble?" the woman asked nervously.

"Well the kid's got a bit of a bite to her, can't say she was too perfect the entire night. But for the most part she was fine." The two turned their attention to the staircase, Spike turned around as well to see Trixie smiling a bit, "There's the little squirt now."

"Did you have fun sweetie, anything bad happen?"

"Trixie did not call you therefor Trixie was fine. Why ask if you already knew the answer?"

"Well if she's acting like this I think everything went over well. Thank you Spike, we look forward to having you sit her again soon," the man replied with a smile. "Come now sweetie, you can change in the car, we have to get home so we can have our scheduled 7:30 breakfast."

"Yes father." Trixie walked down the rest of the steps, her parents already on their way back to the car. Trixie gave Spike a quick hug, "Trixie would like to apologize for the events of last night."

"I know you're trying kid, don't worry about it. You're no longer the worst kid I sat now."

"Really, then who?" she asked cocking her head.

"I'll just say watch your ass if you meet a girl named Rarity..." Spike groaned rubbing the back of his head, "You'd better get going."

"Bye mister Spike!" she said as she rushed out the door. Spike smiled a bit as he propped himself on the doorway, watching the little brat run to her parents. Maybe he made a bit of progress with her. "Daddy did not get Trixie a souvenir!? How dare you!" she barked.

Or maybe he didn't...

Author's Note

This one took a little longer then expected, it was also more lengthier than expected too. But here it is, in all it's glory, I might take a little break before deciding who I want to do next :derpytongue2:.