Where Am I? A Road Warrior in Equestria

After some time walking, I was starting to lose a sense hope. How long had it been anyway? An hour, 3 maybe. The sun had peaked across the sky now, and the soon to be unbearable heat of the day was beginning to set in. "How the blue fuck did Mel Gibson and Tom Hardy do this?!" I thought to myself. Walking around in the outback wearing tight fitting black leather was nothing short of torturous; if it wasn't so damn dry, i'd have the worst case of swamp nuts known to mankind. Speaking of annoying, I'd yet to see a single road, no less a person. How deep into the desert was I? There was a series of canyons not far from where i walked, maybe that could at least provide some shelter from the sun, so i set out in that direction with hopes of at least finding some higher ground to get a lay of the land. So after what  seemed like a sweaty eternity of skirting and climbing rocks, i finally made it to the plateau of the canyons and they ended into a great cliffside, offering a panoramic view from up high and  at long last some notion of salvation. I could see in the distance what looked like a town, however blurred and distorted by the heat but i could still clearly see what looked like some sort of orchard to the side- a damn big one at that, almost as big as the town if not even bigger. A faint line that looked like railroad tracks ran parallel to the town. "Good, at least there's some way out of the god forsaken wasteland" I grunted lowly. Now i just needed to climb back down and make my way towards the town that looked formidably distant, but not impossible to reach. It was the only place for miles, if my car was anywhere- it'd be there. Soon i'd likely have back my ride and i'd be on my way again, far away from this goddamn place. If I was really lucky however, I'd find the douche muffin who stole my car and introduce his kneecap to the business end of my double barrel. Yeah, I'll have a real blast in this place. Wherever the hell it is anyway.

Some 2 or 3 hours later I was only a short distance to the town, walking amongst the orchards which surprisingly grew apples.. "Odd. I didn't think apples were grown in Southern California" I thought to myself. Nonetheless, i abandoned that query as the orchard ended and the town began, i breathed a sigh of relief having found a respite from the wasteland. As I walked closer still, i looked on in confusion and disbelief at the locals.. The sun must have beat down on me for too long, because this was obviously a hallucination. They were Human, somewhat. They were all various hues of bright pastel colors, standing upright on two legs that ended in wide, flat soles. They were all clothed in what appeared to be 19th century American western garb, and talked amongst each other.. Talked?! These weird, equine like creatures with pointed ears and long snouts, big wide eyes.. Not even California is this odd. Where am I, and what the fuck are these things?!