Letters R through D

Arrived Tuesday afternoon by post, stamped from Ponyville:

Dear Princess Celestia,

I would like to inform you that I am currently engaged in intercourse, coitus, the horizontal mambo, and sex. Rainbow Dash was just too sexy for me, and I swooned over her alluring designs on my bodice. I tried to say no, but she dominated me and I had to do what she coerced me. It was so much fun, that now I am doing it every night while we are camping out here. You should really come out and watch Rainbow Dash's majestic body swoon me. She has a hot labia and has had so much sex that she has made me erotic. See you soon!

Love and Kisses you hot mama, XOXOXOX

Twilight Sparkle