Golden Oak - Library Rules

by bonamb

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Random, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 1215

Rules that Twilight feels are appropriate for the library

A series of rules that Twilight feels are appropriate for the library, after certain instances occur.

I make no promise for the quality.

Published 2015-10-12 22:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-10-12 22:20:02 UTC

Rainbow Dash must use the front door

Twilight Sparkle stretched out her front legs, reaching for the alarm which was currently shaking and ringing loud enough to wake all 7 lords of Tartarus. Or at least, that’s what it felt like after a late night. Grumbling unintelligibly with displeasure at the infernal device she clumsily fumbled her hoof over the vibrating top, until finally pressing the off button. Groaning with satisfaction she fell back into her covers, until.

CRASH

At the sound of the disturbance from downstairs she bolted straight upright, eyes suddenly clear of sleep. Glancing out the window she saw the dark world of 5:31 in the morning, and evaluated that it must be some kind of crazy pony, or criminal. What kind of criminal in the peaceful town of Ponyville would break through somebody's house at this time in the morning, with all the finesse of a minotaur she did not know. A book thief would be far more subtle, as she had garnered from her own, personal, exploits.

Her magical grip ripping a leg off the bed for self defence she crept past the still sleeping Spike, not noticing the cotton plugs in his ears. Opening the door to a SQUEEEAAK she winced and hesitated, before continuing, tiptoeing down the stairs.

Peering round the corner she saw an unimaginable horror, one which would haunt her years from now. Three bookshelves had been toppled. A stack reserved for sorting had been in the middle of the path of one of them and upon hitting had caused it to implode, sending books and pages, deficit of their respective covers flying everywhere. One of the couches looked like a fireball had gone through it... straight from the broken window. Continuing along this was very linear path of destruction and embedded in yet another bookshelf and surrounded by glass was:
"Rainbow."

"Sup Twi?"

"What... what are you doing Dash?" Twilight asked with almost deceptive calmness

"Well" Rainbow began, her voice muffled by the rare treatise on gryphon biology her face was currently in "Here I was practising my tricks at this totally normal time in the morning, and I thought that maybe Twi my ol' buddy ol' pal would like some incredibly awesome company right now! I flew over here off the tailed of a loop aaaand... I may have forgotten to slow down? Like, a little bit?"

"Just a little bit... just a." Twilight gagged "WHAT THE HAY DASH" she screamed, her voice cracking and squeaking as it reached registers unknown to all but highly regarded ultrasound technicians. "What did you do?!" Her magical grip tightened around the wooden leg, sending ominous creaking sounds around the room. "And more to the point, why?!"

Rainbow extracted her nose from the books now ruined pages "um... I may have made a little mess?" Wincing as the leg made yet more painful groaning noises she continued with a "It was an accident?"

"An accident?!" The leg gave one final groan and gave in, imploding in her grip. Twilight threw the splinters over her shoulder and paced slowly towards Dash, an insane look upon her features. "An accident you say? When fully half the contents of my library is destroyed, one of a kind books have been crushed? Incinerated? Her voice rising once again in volume. "Drowned in the kitchen sink which is over on the other side of this Celestia dammed tree?!" Her teeth clenched and then relaxed as she managed to whirl around and divert a path away from Rainbow, thus saving the cyan pony grievous bodily harm. "This is an accident?!" She cried yet again, gesticulating widely around her with her right hoof. "This... this apocalyptic scene? Wah?" Her hindquarters flopped down upon the floor an unusual expression of dismay and anger on her face as she watched the struggling pony.

"Jeez Sparkles" Rainbow appeased as she freed her last leg, its not like it’s a family heirloom or anything! Its just a few books. Nothing to worry about, you can just replace them cant you?"

"Just a few... few...." Her voice stuttering to a stop Twilight's face went slack and she stared straight ahead, the hoof which had been held up in the air until now slowly fell back down to join its fellow.

Rainbow now free of the once prison of a bookshelf cocked her head "Um Twi? You alright?" Limping over to prone purple pony she lifted her hoof and rapped it against Twilights skull "Hey egghead you in there?" With no response to her efforts she shrugged with finality and murmured "Ah well, nothing else for this then" licking her wingtip she proceeded to insert it into Twilight's right ear.

"AYEEEEEE! EW EW EW WHYYYY" Waking up from her stupor she then proceeded to flail straight into a pile of ruined books, upon which she screamed again at what was probably her worst nightmare.

Dash, flinching at the noise covered her ears with her hooves and waited it out.

Three minutes later the flailing stopped abruptly as Twilight got her severely disorganized thoughts into order and remembered who the perpetrator of this disaster was.
With terrifying slowness she sat up and turned to Rainbow and said with a sickly sweet grin "So, Rainbow. Just books are they?" Tilting her head slowly with a grin that was gradually turning manic she waited for a reply.

"Well, y-yeah?" Dash started to stutter as the temperature of the room seemed to drop a few degrees. "I mean, its not like anybody got hurt is it?" Sweat beading up on her brow at Twilights intense stare she pleaded "I'll even help you tidy up?"

What could be mistaken for a thunderstorm was in fact the sound of Twilights horn charging up. A magical field surrounded Dash, the pegasus's eyes widening as she took in what was happening and the earlier fate of the bed leg. Moving her back and forth as Twilight took in her swing, the crazed librarian suddenly turned and hurled the now yelling Rainbow straight back through the ruined window and directly into an unfortunately soft cloud with unerring accuracy. The cloud went grey and crackled a few times, shocking Rainbow and giving her a new hairstyle then settled back to the normal white fluff. Peaceful, all but for the quivering pegasus that resided upon it.

After that immensely therapeutic action Twilight let out a steady breath and calmed herself down. Closing the shutters and switching on a couple of lamps she stared once again and the disastrous scene that was her beautiful library. Sighing to herself again she lay down, put her face on the floor and muttered into the grain "At least its sorting day."

A girlish scream suddenly echoed from the staircase

"Oh hello spike. I do believe you have reshelving duty this time"

Two days later Rainbow floated nervously back to the library. Raising her hoof to knock she suddenly noticed a piece of parchment pinned to the door, It read:

RULES
1) Rainbow Awesome Dash MUST SLOWLY use the front door, and the front door only for entrance.

Signed by Twilight Sparkle

Author's Note

I try.

You should totally submit ideas so I can add them to the list of rules to be written.