Elsa's Snowflake

by TheOneAJ

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Bulk Biceps, Crossover, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other, Romance
Length: 1734

In a frozen world, one lone princess of ice will find the true meaning of love, in the form of a massive white stallion with massive biseps.

In her kingdom of isolation, Queen Elsa will find love in the last... Pony, she'd expect to find it from.

Cover art done by Flower Eagle Tale

pre-read by a dark reminder henkie pie Marcibel Gordo productions and Forthwith
A no regreat parody/what if story of Elsa's Snowdrop

Published 2015-10-16 23:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-10-16 23:20:02 UTC

The only chapter

Free at last, Elsa allowed herself to let go as she threw her gloves to the wind, aloowed her ice powers to flow from her, built a snowman, and rose a mighty castle from the ground. During it all, no longer bound to the kingdom that had turned on her, she began to sing.

“Let it go, let it go!
Can’t hold it back anymore!”

With that, she morphed her dress into a icey-robe and walked out onto the balcony, threw her arms into the air, and declared, “The cold never—“

*Crash*

Her song broken from the loud noise, Elsa turned to see, a pair of beady red eyes looking at her. She shortly noticed that they were attached to a massive and bulky white stallion with a gold earring.

“YEAH!” it said to Elsa’s dismay.

He then flew with a tiny pair of wings on his back and landed next to her. “ARE YOU PRINCESS ELSA?”

Not sure what better to do, she nodded. “Ye.. Yes, sir, I am.” She took a deep breath and crossed her arms. “Actually, I am a queen. Why are you—?”

“Okay!” He then pulled out a clipboard and a pen. “Sign here.”

Sure that this was just a dream and wanting to see where it went, Elsa quickly signed the paper.

“GREAT!” With that, he stood up, on two hooves, and said, “one extra strength deep tissues massage, courtesy of one Princess Anna, COMING UP!”

“What now—Hey, HEY! Put me down!” Elsa screamed. She found herself caught between his two massive biceps and carried into an adjacent room—which she was sure wasn’t there before—and forced her down onto a table—which she knew hadn’t been there before. “Who are you? How did Anna… AAAAHHHHH!”

“NAME’S SNOWFLAKE. YEAH!” he cried as he began to applying the deep massage. “I’m trying to be a masseur, but I can’t get a lot of experience in since ponies in Equestria don’t seem to want me to massage them."

“I wonder whYYYYYY!” Elsa moaned as Snowflake pulled her arm.

“Even since I was a foal, all I ever wanted to do… WAS TO BE A WRESTLING PONY! YEAH!”

“OW!” Elsa began to see stars when he dug his hooves into her back.

“However, momma Snowflake said it was too dangerous, and didn’t pay well.” He then began to do small circles across her back with his hooves that quickly began to press into her muscles. “SO I WENT TO MASSAGE SCHOOL INSTEAD!”

“GAHH!”

“I worked hard, then one day I get’s a call saying a princess needed some serious de-stressing after a long day.” He bent one of Elsa’s legs. “Something about feeling betrayed or what will you.”

Anna, Elsa thought, if I survive this, I am going to—’ “OOOOOOO!”

“So if I do well with you, I can get a raise.”

“I… Am…” she could feel her muscles reaching their breaking point, “fine. I do not… Need help. So you would pleaSSSSSSEEEEE!” With one final cry, she blasted Snowflake in the chest.

Though right before he collapsed onto the floor, he made sure to apply the final touch to the massage.

As his hoof left Elsa’s back, her whole world began to swirl around her. She began to see stars of the universe race by her. Flashes of light appeared, the years when she was best friends with her sister. Then, she thought about when she lost her sister, when she hurt her. She saw herself not a few hours ago, before all of this, when she was momentarily happy.

When her vision returned to normal, she smiled.

What was she thinking, running away from her duties like that? Complaining wouldn’t do anything, she had to go back and face her demons.

“Wow, good sir,” she said with a stretch, “you do wonders.” Elsa grinned. “I think I’m ready to go back to Arendelle and fix whatever messes I’ve caused. And if they don’t like me, well, I can either freeze them or throw them a giant ice-skating party in the middle of July.” With that Elsa giggled. “Anna will accept me either way… Of course there was the whole lying thing, but I am sure we can sort that out!” She then walked up to the pony. “Thank you, sir Snowflake… OH NO!” She cried as she saw the ice-crystal hanging from his head. “No, no, no! Did I… where did you get hit?”

“Ugh,” he said as he held his hooves to his chest.

“Okay… not head, heart,” Elsa racked around her brain. “Okay, um… To unfreeze a frozen heart…” She then blinked and nervously looked towards the bulked up pony. “Oh, no…” She gulped. “Um, do you by chance have a… lover or… marefriend in your life, sir?”

With a groan he said, “Nope.”

Elsa slapped her forehead. “Okay, well…” she looked at him for a moment, and wondered. Would it even work? Then again, she sure loved his massages, and how it made her feel. So maybe, just maybe…

“A…Alright,” she said with a quiver as her lips drew closer to his. “For… For… I really loved your massage.” She then closed the distance.

*****

All of the sudden, the snow around Arendelle began to thaw as the weather grew ever warmer.

Meanwhile, what was meant to be a rescue party for Elsa, led by Anna’s recently fianceHans, found themselves tracking through mud as they reached the ice-castle that was all but a puddle by the time they arrived.

“Look!” One of the men pointed out to where the queen, who to their dismay was holding and kissing a large white stallion. Even from a distance, her hair looked like a wreck, her non-icey cloths looked a little wrinkled, and she was moaning loudly.

“Bestiality!” One of Weselton’s men cried as he fired a cross-bow as them.

“NO!” Hans cried as the arrow barely missed the pair.

This, in turn, made Snowflake a less than pleased stallion as he broke his kiss with Elsa.

“I AM NOT PLEASED!” he cried as he flew down to the men. Giving off a fearsome battle cry of “YEAH!” and then began to beat up all the men who chose to stand his ground.. Even when one of the arrows hit his head, only to bounce off. He turned around, reared back, and sent them flying several miles away into the fjord of Arendelle.

All the other men then ran for their lives as Snowflake let out a triumphant, “YEAH!” He then stomped on the earth and prepared to charge at them.

“Hey!” he heard Elsa call from the top of the ledge. “Do not hurt them!”

With a bit of a groan, Snowflake looked up to her and said, “But no one messes with my precious princess.”

Elsa giggled. “It is queen, actually,” she then sighed, “but I suppose we have to go back… And I have to explain to everyone, even my sister, which will be fun, that I’m in love with a horse.”

“Pony, actually,” Snowflake corrected, “Though, a pegasus if it helps.”

“Right,” Elsa whimpered, “I mean, how…”

She was cut off as Snowflake flew up to her and lifted her chin. “Don’t worry, I’ll be there for you.”

With that, she smiled and held his hooves. “Thank you.”

“YEAH!”

*****

So with that, the pair flew back down to Arendelle, after they picked up Anna and saved Olaf, and made Kristof the royal ice-picker, and had to make a giant snowman Olaf named Marshmallow to fight off a yeti.

With the news of Elsa’s return, along with the fact that she was now in love with a talking horse, which Elsa soon corrected as a pegasus. It took some time, but soon most of the land accepted this new reality.

Though the Duke of Weselton never backed down from calling Elsa a freak, so all trade from his kingdom was forever cut off.

Hans might have still be able to marry Anna, if he hadn’t accidentally cursed during the second re-try of the coronation —as he nervously eyed the massive stallion and snowman— “There goes those plans to be king,” right as Anna stood next to him.

Anna eyes shot open as she angrily asked, “What plans?”

Han’s eyes widened. “Oh… nothing, de—”

He was interrupted as Snowflake landed right in front of him with Elsa riding on top. “Is there something you wish to say?”

Hans looked around nervously and chuckled.

*****

A loud cry sounded throughout the Southern Isles. A moment later, all the citizens looked up as they saw one of their princes flying through the air, racing towards the ground at an incredible speed. Though, his life was spared as he landed in a large pile of horse manure that had been previously shoveled up not five minutes ago.

“Well,” the farmer said as he stared at the sight, “it’s a good thing I hadn’t put this off earlier today. You are on lucky man”

Rolling over so his face wasn’t buried, Hans spat out some manure and replied, “Yes, lucky me.” He then screamed when a random stallion came over to investigate, only to add to the already large pile.

*****

Anna ended up marrying Kristof, and had two kids. Olaf and Marshmallow became part of the royal guard. Snowflake did become king, but was still able to follow both his dreams of being a wrestler and masseuse while being the proud father of five half human, half pony foals deemed Centaurs.

And when Hans came back several years later to seek revenge, all five of Elsa and Snowflake’s foals, in one massive combined kick, sent Han’s flying to until he landed in a pile of cow dung in the Americas.

King Snowflake was never as proud a father as he was then.

Elsa learned to love who she was as much as her sister and pony husband, and they all—except for Hans and the duke of Weselton—lived happily, ever after.

Author's Note

I REGRET NOTHING! ) :pinkiecrazy:
*Jumps out a window
This little bit of madness was made on 20 cups of tea, and written in part for the Stardust/Fallenwishes gofundme campaign. Thanks for all who donated, and thanks to all my friends who helped pre-read and to Flower eagle for making this cover.
Hopefully, a new chapter of Elsa's snowdrop will be out soonish.