Would it matter, if I was...
Would it matter, if I was...
“What?” Twilight asked tilting her head, staring at Fluttershy across the room.
Twilight’s mouth was slightly open, as if to help her ears perk forward more, when Fluttershy told her again, with grave determination, “Would it matter if I was...?”
But neither Twilight’s ears nor her attention seemed to help. “If you were what, now?” Twilight asked lightly kicking her ear. “I really need you to speak up right now.”
“If I was .........” Fluttershy repeated, hesitantly.
Twilight shook her head in clear misunderstanding, ignoring the crashes and green flashes blasting outside the damaged building the two stood in, amid the busy streets of Canterlot. “I’m sorry Fluttershy,” Twilight told her dearest friend of the last six months and approximately 9.5 world changing events. “I didn’t quite catch that.”
“Was a ....” Fluttershy tried to say again, also trying to hide herself entirely underneath her long smooth volumnuous mane.
“Look, Fluttershy,” Twilight grumbled in mild annoyance, as behind her the royal guard moved past outside, sweeping a pile of unconscious changelings off the street. “I’m kind of busy with cleaning up this whole changeling problem,” Twilight said, “I understand if it’s important, but you have to tell me.”
Tears welled up in Fluttershy’s eyes as she said, “I’m ......”
“In an audible tone of voice,” Twilight clarified, as if Fluttershy didn’t know that already. “You can tell me what’s wrong. I’m your friend!”
“It’s.....” Fluttershy trailed off into a squeak. “It’s ...not important...” she managed to say, turning her face away in shame.
“Well, okay then,” Twilight said agreeably, lighting up her horn, “Talk to you later, Fluttershy. I need to go beat up some changeling scum!”
Fluttershy whimpered, as Twilight charged off out of the building, hollering a battle cry at another wave of black carapaced insectoid menace.
The battle was long and hard, but the foe fought a losing battle with their now useless queen perched in the window, peering down on them all with innocent curiosity. All had seemed lost when she triumphantly defeated the princess Celestia. When Twilight’s old babysitter Cadance rescued her husband to be, by reigniting the fires of love in his heart, they were too weak to do much aside from hug each other and cry, awaiting the end.
But then Princess Luna had smashed through the wall and flung from her arms the Elements of Harmony, which landed on each of their bearer’s chests and/or heads. The moon princess battled the queen to a standstill, giving them ample time to charge up the elements. Unfortunately not only did this make the queen a brightly colored, bubbly ditz, but her forces didn’t seem to get the message, almost as if they were acting of their own will and not her helpless pawns.
Fluttershy was not much help with the cleanup efforts. Nopony was surprised.
The ponies of Canterlot were dancing and carousing in the celebration afterwards. The formal wedding was postponed on account of mutant insect pony swarm attack, in favor of a victory celebration, provided by Hers Pinkly of course. Forcing herself politely through the noisy, laughing ponies, Fluttershy said urgently to Twilight, “Twilight, I have to tell you I am a ...” but right then somepony jumped up on the table and started to sing, drowning out Fluttershy’s words. “I’m a—” Fluttershy blurted out frustratedly, just as Rainbow Dash swung down from the sky shouting,
“Hey, Twilight! Enjoying the woaah Fluttershy! Didn’t expect you to be here!”
Fluttershy frowned at Rainbow Dash, saying “It’s because I’m a...” but then a suited stallion up on the podium started to speak into a microphone, addressing the crowd below
“Ponies, Canterlites, Friends, we meet here on this joyous occasion to celebrate the winning back of our fair city. I don’t make a point of giving long speeches, so I’ll try to keep this under 3 hours or so. It all began when I was a young colt in Dusseldorf...”
Fluttershy whimpered and sat there meekly, surrounded by the joyous loving crowd, looking a little queasy as she waited for the pony to finish his speech. She could wait. She was a very patient pony.
Unfortunately, she may have had a teensy bit of a margherita and ended up waking up the next day with all the partygoers gone, discovering she had apparantly passed out underneath the table. She looked somewhat frustrated, and held her head painfully upon rising, as Fluttershy emerged to the sight of janitor ponies sweeping up ribbons, debris, and soused ponies. Fluttershy turned in the air to flutter there, looking back at the table where she’d politely left her cocktail glass on its surface, before collapsing in a heap and crawling under the table to sleep off her inebriation. Shaking her head at her foolish indulgence, she poured the rest of the drink out on a nearby bush.
Then, she went off to find Twilight.
“Twilight,” Fluttershy told her friend seriously, “I need to ask you. Would it matter if I was a ...” the train whistle blared, as Twilight looked up from the train schedule.
“Oh, hello Fluttershy,” she said agreeably to her butter yellow pegasus friend. “Were you just saying something?”
“No...” Fluttershy said in shame. “It’s fine...”
“Okay then,” Twilight said easily, “But remember, you can always talk with me if there’s something on your mind. Really, that’s what makes ponies so much better than changelings, we can talk to each other as friends. Pony to pony, you know?”
“Oh, um...” Fluttershy looked aside. “Changelings can’t do that?” she asked politely.
“I certainly never saw any who could,” Twilight said with a laugh, boarding the train pulled up in front of them. “Wouldn’t that be something. A changeling with friends!”
“Y-yes... something...” Fluttershy mumbled, following after her friend to where the rest of her very noisy friends were waiting in the train car.
“That was so awesome, Fluttershy!” Rainbow Dash told her. “Best wedding ever! Did you see how I kicked those changeling’s butts?”
“Do changelings even have butts?” Pinkie asked Rainbow uncertainly.
“Of course they do!” Rainbow said confidently. “What else would I have been kicking?”
“T-the thorax is very sensi...” Fluttershy mumbled covering her mouth as her words ground to a halt.
“You say something Fluttershy?” Rainbow Dash asked her.
“No, nothing important...” Fluttershy said with fear to her friend’s sudden approach. It was nothing new. That’s how she reacted to anypony’s sudden approach. Nothing new, strange, or unexpected.
“Hmm...” Pinkie Pie said, getting up close to Fluttershy and squinting at her. Fluttershy squeaked and shrunk back, but Pinkie really seemed to have some idea what was going on. “I know what you are!” she announced to Fluttershy.
“Y-y-you do?” Fluttershy managed to ask peeking out from under her mane.
“A pony without a cupcake!” Pinkie said with a big smile, presenting a green and blue frosted cupcake to Fluttershy’s hooves.
Fluttershy looked at the cupcake, and smiled at Pinkie Pie politely. “Thank you,” she said to the party pony. Pinkie rolled off to talk with another friend, and Fluttershy covertly stored the cupcake away. It would make an excellent treat to feed her little animal friends.
Later that night at the library, Twilight looked surprised to see her friend Fluttershy walk timidly into the front foyer. “Hello Fluttershy,” she said to the low flying pegasus, “Looking to check out a book?”
Fluttershy stated, “Oh, n-no.” She landed and kicked a hoof, looking off to the side as she said “There’s something I need to tell you...”
“Didn’t catch that last part,” Twilight said once again, craning her ears more directly towards Fluttershy.
Fluttershy took a deep breath and asked, “Would it matter if I was ...” She blushed horribly at that, and tried again. “Twilight is it okay to be ...” but she just trailed off into a squeak this time.
“I really can’t hear you if you mumble, Fluttershy,” Twilight said critically. “You have to be more assertive! Tell me, is something going on? What is it okay to be? A quiet pony? It’s perfectly okay, as long as you can communicate with your friends when you need to.”
“No, that’s... not it,” Fluttershy said quietly.
In the chill of the night the only sounds that could be heard were the creaking of the library tree around them, and the sounds of Spike’s slumber, one and a half floors above them.
“Is something wrong, Fluttershy?” Twilight asked her gently. “If there is anything you need to talk about, you can tell me. I’m your friend!”
“Okay, Twilight,” Fluttershy said, with anxious determination. “I’ll tell you.” She closed her eyes, and took a deep breath, then gave Twilight a level look and said, “Twilight, I’m a... a...”
“A...?” Twilight prompted.
“I’m sorry, Twilight,” Fluttershy said in shame.
“No, no it’s okay,” Twilight said in an intrigued tone. “Take as much time as you need.”
“I’m a—!” Fluttershy cut off as her heart leapt in her throat. She had taken to the air in alarm, just floating there looking down at Twilight. “I’m a...” she tried to say, forcing herself to land, and relax. “I’m a...” she repeated, like a mantra. She was really going to do it this time. She was really going to tell her.
Fluttershy scrunched her eyes shut and hastily shouted “I’m a—!” but whatever else she said was drowned out by the thundering roar, and loud crashing noises outside.
“Twilight!” Rarity shrieked running into the library butting aside Fluttershy like a stage prop to say urgently to Twilight, “Another Ursa Minor has come to town. It’s smashing everything! And now it has a bomb strapped to its back!”
“C’mon Fluttershy, Rarity,” Twilight said confidently. “It looks like it’s time for us to save the day again.” She charged out, followed by Rarity, followed by a reluctant Fluttershy, who ended up being the pony who could tame the beast and calm his rage while Applejack and Twilight carefully disarmed and removed the explosives. It was far too late for any confessions though, so Fluttershy was left in her cottage once again to cry out her worries alone, surrounded by the caring love of her dear, sweet animal friends.
When she awoke in the morning, Fluttershy had to spend most of the morning feeding her animal friends. It was past lunch, and she was already weary, when she fluttered over to Twilight’s tree library.
“T-t-twilight?” she asked, creeping into the scary, sunny, well lit interior. She had to go looking for her, finding Twilight seated before a rather large book that she was reading engrossedly.
“Oh, hello Fluttershy,” Twilight said distractedly. “I was just reading about Maple Marble’s Many Manifestation Messups and How to Avoid Them. It’s very fascinating how...” Twilight said something very technical, which Fluttershy did not really understand, but she let Twilight speak anyway, until the unicorn grew too distracted trying to cross reference her words, and simply went back to reading her book.
“Twilight,” Fluttershy prompted gently.
“Uh huh,” Twilight said distractedly.
“Twilight I need to tell you something.”
“Sure Fluttershy whatever you want.”
“I want to know if...” Fluttershy twisted her mane in a hoof and fretted. “What would you... if... if one of your friends...” She took a deep breath and exclaimed, “Oh Twilight, I might as well just tell you!” So Fluttershy told Twilight Sparkle, seeming surprised at Twilight’s reaction.
“Oh, um... you’re not upset?” Fluttershy asked in disbelief.
“Uh huh,” Twilight answered, her eyes still on the book in front of her.
“So you are upset?” Fluttershy said with a quivering lip.
“Sure thing Fluttershy,” Twilight said, flipping a page.
“Oh I knew you would be upset,” Fluttershy said tearfully. “I should never have told you! Please don’t hate me, Twilight. I just... I just want to be treated like everypony else!”
Twilight lifted her head, looking at Fluttershy in worry. “Did you say something, Fluttershy?” Twilight said nervously. “This really is some fascinating literature. Did I ever tell you about how a sub-class G morphological topology...” and then more complex words that Fluttershy didn’t understand.
Fluttershy waited politely for Twilight to finish, and this time before Twilight could return to her book, in the silence Fluttershy opened her mouth and said, “Twilight, I’m a—” Rainbow Dash crashed in through the window high above.
“Wooah!” Dash shouted, slamming into the two of them, and knocking over several bookcases.
“Rainbow Dash!” Twilight said in angry admonishment.
“Sorry, Twilight,” Rainbow said flicking her tail in vague apology. “I was just, oh hey Fluttershy!”
Fluttershy didn’t answer in words, but Dash seemed not to need words, segueing smoothly into, “I need somepony to see my latest stunt. You’re done with all your animal uh, thingies until this afternoon, right?”
She wasn’t, but Fluttershy could probably make room. So, “Yes,” Fluttershy said, and Rainbow Dash’s face lit up with glee.
“Great!” Dash said in great cheer. “Now come on, I gotta show you the rain barrel bow double corkscrew, or move NK947 as I like to call it.”
Fluttershy barely managed to quietly mention, “No wait...” before Rainbow Dash had grabbed her, and gone flying off back through the library window, out ot the open sky. It looked like Dash was either impatient, or had forgotten Fluttershy could fly again. Which actually was not something Fluttershy could complain about, because she herself forgot that she could fly on a frequent basis.
Placing her on a cloud, and zooming into the air to perform feats of daring and style, Rainbow Dash was on top of the world. Fluttershy watched politely, cheering as she could with the moments of genuine excitement, where Rainbow Dash would spread her hooves and luxuriate in the thunderous imaginary applause. But every now and often, Fluttershy had to sneak a glance at the library, far below them.
She sighed to herself. Too quietly for anypony to notice or hear. It looked like this might take quite awhile...
Author's Note
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