In the Heart of the Night(mare)
Author's Note
This story was inspired by the following song:
In the Heart of the Night(mare)
Princess Luna stood on the balcony and surveyed the night, a light breeze lifting her ethereal mane from her shoulders, stirring her feathers. She twitched her wings. The landscape of her evening was one of silent beauty; the moon shone like a pearl in a cloudless sky, floating in a velvety sea of twinkling stars. Another perfect twin to her sister's daylight... Another perfect creation only she and her batpony guards would enjoy. Still, Luna took a moment to find satisfaction in the accomplishment. There would be no errant thunderstorms or gales of wind to disturb the citizens of the land. Everypony was dreaming sweetly. No night terrors or demons stalked her Equestrian darlings.
Heaving a sigh, the lunar princess returned to her chambers, casting a glance at the candle she used to keep time. It was not yet half burned, several marks remaining until sunrise.
These were the moments when it was worst, when her tasks were complete, when night court held no further issues, when the loneliness ate at her heart. Her sister slept soundly at the opposite end of the hall, dreaming dreams of pleasant things Luna made sure came her way every night. Certainly Celestia would not begrudge her if she were to be wakened to chat, but Luna felt her elder sister needed her rest.
The paper and quill at her bedside caught her eye. Could she...? Was she allowed? Certainly Celestia did not have the monopoly on communication with the young purple unicorn, and it was just a letter, after all... Biting her lip, Luna lifted the writing implements with her soft blue magic and settled near the foot of her bed, dipping the quill's tip into the inkwell. The parchment hovered just beyond her delicate muzzle, the lovely alicorn's emerald eyes focused and intent.
Dear Twilight Sparkle,
May I address you as so? Last we met, it was not under the best of circumstances. I owe you a great deal, for what you and your friends have done for me. I would never have been reunited with my dear sister without your assistance.
It is because of this I feel I may write to you. I do not know what Celestia exchanges with you in her correspondences—you are not my student, and I do not intend to tread upon those boundaries.
You are on a quest for friendship... I have heard my sister speak proudly of your progress. Is it difficult, making friends? I do not know, being of the night, and I see so few ponies. I worry I am feared, still, and I do not know how to show them I am not to be so. It is lonely.
We have seen so many come and go in our lifetimes, Twilight Sparkle. Friends, and lovers... Celestia has lost so much. Is it truly worth an alicorn's immortality, to know you will lose those you care for? That is my fear for making friends. That is my fear for my sister's heart, for mine.
Do you know I do not dream? I am the guardian of the dreams, but I myself do not. I chase the nightmares and troubles from the sleeping minds of ponies every night. So many dream of love. Have you ever loved? I long to know what it is like, the true love of another, not the commanded passion of a guard pleasing his princess. At the same time, I fear it... I do not think I could lose something that treasured and continue living. I do not know that an alicorn can die. Do you think we can?
How is it we exist in a world that allows this, Twilight Sparkle? Why is it my sister and I must be the ones to care for and guard ponykind, while remaining alone? I worry these thoughts are seditious and of the kind that made me susceptible to the Nightmare all those centuries ago.
That loneliness was all-consuming... the loneliness of my exile. But still, I had hope. I could see Equestria. I knew my sister would not let me wither and despair upon that cold rock for eternity. This loneliness, the loneliness of my heart, I fear is doomed to tragedy, for whomever fills this void will inevitably be taken from me by time.
I have just seen a star fall across my night sky. I have always wondered who controls the stars, who moves our orb through the void. The Sun and Moon sit in a velvet darkness, but what great pony placed them there? Do you wonder these things, too, Twilight Sparkle?
I worry the tone of this letter grows too dark, and I must draw it to a close. It is never good for the matron of dreams to allow her thoughts to travel to places lacking light and happiness. I fear my subjects may feel ill effects whilst they slumber.
I admire your strength. You are a brave young pony, and forever have my gratitude.
Royally Yours,
Princess Luna
Luna let the quill fall. Her eyes traveled over the letter, re-reading her words.
She knew she could never send it.
With a sudden snarl, tears in her eyes, the Moon Sister rose suddenly on her hooves and tore the letter in half with her aura, flinging the paper at the candle's flame. Angry at herself for both the tears and the horrid display of vulnerability, she watched as the smoke rose from her letter, the edges of the parchment curling into black nothingness. Too many aeons of her endless life had been spent weeping over things lost and things that would never come to be. The thought that she had simply exchanged one form of exile for another crossed her mind. She banished it.
When the evidence of her weakness was nothing but ash, Luna allowed her tears to dry. Calmly, she gathered the ashes of her letter with her magic and returned to the balcony.
The faint breeze still blew. Lifting her chin, Luna released the ashes into the wind, watching them swirl and scatter across the sky.
Alone with her thoughts, the Lunar Lady waiting for sunrise.
