Shadowbolts Adventures: I Crush You

by DragonShadow

Rating: everyone
Tags: Sunny Flare, Little Strongheart, Comedy, Equestria Girls, Braeburn, Sour Sweet
Length: 2681

Sour Sweet has a crush on Braeburn. She just has to get past his girlfriend.

There aren't many good men in Crystal Prep Academy, most of them being as self-centered and prudish as most of the girls. Sour Sweet has been crushing on one of the few good ones, Braeburn, for a while, and she finally decides to go for it. She just has to get past Little Strongheart and he's all hers.

I don't know if I have to keep saying it, but thanks to Bootsy Slickmane for pre-reading and Cover Art.

Published 2015-10-27 00:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-10-27 00:50:01 UTC

I Crush You

I Crush You

The barest hint of heat in the air, the smell of flowers drifting across campus on the gentle breeze, and the golden blanket of light that crept over the school set the perfect atmosphere for romance. It was one of the few things that could make Sour Sweet just stop and pay attention to the world around her. Or perhaps more accurately, stop and pay attention to the only boy who was capable of stopping her in her tracks.

Her footsteps slowed on the sidewalk approaching the school, her eyes drifting to watch him sit on the grass on the front lawn strumming an old acoustic guitar with one hand. His name was Braeburn, one of the strongest, kindest, handsomest boys in all of Crystal Prep Academy. She couldn't name a single girl who hadn't at least talked about getting together with him once.

"Give it up, Sour Sweet," Sunny Flare's voice warned from behind her head. "We've talked about this."

"Mngh, it's just not fair." Sour Sweet clenched her fists, punching at the air in frustration. "The one guy in this school who seems decent and he's already taken!"

"Yeah, that about sums it up." Sunny Flare smirked with her hands clenched behind her back. "I don't know about the 'only decent guy' thing, though. Blueblood isn't bad... looking..."

"Ugh." Sour Sweet rolled her eyes. "Don't mention that jerkwad to me." She stopped in her tracks to stare across the lawn at Braeburn, who remained oblivious to her. As she watched, a beautiful girl with deep, auburn hair and a bright smile approached him. She moved with the grace of a professional dancer, and the laugh that echoed over to them could have come from an angel playing with a crowd of happy schoolchildren and newborn puppies.

Sour Sweet's fists clenched as her voice lowered to a growl. "Little Strongheart..."

Sunny Flare watched them kiss as she settled onto the grass beside him. "They sure do seem into each other."

Sour Sweet punched her fist into her palm with a quick nod. "I've had enough of this! I'm gonna ask him out!"

"Darnit..." Sunny Flare slapped a hand to her forehead. "I was afraid this was coming. You know there's a special cage in Tartarus for relationship wreckers, right?"

"Relax! If he goes for me he obviously didn't like her that much, right? So, no harm no foul!"

"Even if that wasn't a horrible fallacy, I'm not sure it applies to this."

"It'll be fine! There's no harm in asking. That's not a horrible fallacy, is it?"

"Well... no, I guess it's not."

"That settles it, then!" Sour Sweet pumped her arms in front of her. "I am going to date Braeburn if it's the last thing he does! I just need to wait for my chance!" She whirled to rush toward the school.

"I'll be here when you're done being crazy for the day!" Sunny Flare called after her through cupped hands.

***

The hallways of Crystal Prep Academy were always pretty quiet. A majority of its students preferred to keep to themselves, or wander the hallways in small groups. So Sour Sweet knew how to be completely silent as she crept her way up behind an open locker, and struck up a sultry position with her back against the one beside it. When the door closed, Braeburn's eyes locked onto her, obviously somewhere between shock and intrigue.

"Sour Sweet?" Braeburn blinked in shock. "I mean... howdy. Are you lost?"

"Nope. I'm right where I wanna be." Sour Sweet winked and pushed off from the locker. "You know I see you doing so much throughout the day, you must be reeeaaaally tired sometimes."

"Well, yeah, I s'pose." Braeburn rubbed the back of his neck with one hand. "A good workout will make anybody a little tuckered out."

"You really need somebody who'll... relax you." Sour Sweet grinned her most sappy sweet grin. "Here, I even brought a pillow, so you don't have to strain those mighty neck muscles." She pulled out a soft travel pillow from behind her back.

"A pillow? I don't-oh, uh..." Braeburn was cut off as she moved behind him and pressed the pillow against the back of his neck. "Thanks...?"

"You're welcome. Oh you're so tall, that neck must get super tired holding up that handsome head."

"Maybe...?" Braeburn coughed into one hand.

"And maybe you could rest it-" Sour Sweet's voice trailed off when she felt gentle hands on her shoulders. Almost of its own volition her body let the hands guide her back away from Braeburn, turn her down the hall, and send her walking away from the boy. She was halfway down the hallway before she looked back to see that Little Strongheart had joined him, both of them now completely ignoring her.

"How in the..." Sour Sweet ripped the pillow in half in her fists, sending stuffing flying across the hallway. "This isn't over!"

***

Sour Sweet was leaning against a locker as Braeburn passed. "Hey Braeburn, you wanna go out with me some time?"

"Thank ya kindly, but no." Braeburn tipped his hat to her as he passed.

Curses, foiled again!

***

The lunchroom was full of murmuring and laughing students, though Sour Sweet's attention remained on two in particular, who were sitting in the far corner of the room at a small table by themselves. Braeburn and Little Strongheart kept talking in hushed voices, making sickening googly eyes and cute faces at one-another.

Sour Sweet only looked away to stare down at the table, quickly scribble a message on a sheet of paper, then carefully fold it against the solid wood until it compiled neatly into a paper airplane, complete with a tiny rudder she made sure was perfectly aligned for stable flight. She turned toward the couple, stuck her tongue out, then let it fly. The plane whizzed right by their heads while Braeburn was looking down, but Little Strongheart watched it pass, then gave Sour Sweet a sharp glare.

Sour Sweet just wrote another note, folded another plane, and sent it flying. This time Little Strongheart slapped it out of the air before it could reach him, giving Sour Sweet a dainty smile in return. The next plane was caught in one hand and chucked back, forcing Sour Sweet to duck out of the way or be hit in the forehead.

When she didn't grab another sheet of paper immediately, Little Strongheart turned back to her oblivious boyfriend. After a couple of minutes, however, a small stream of paper airplanes pelted her in the back of the head. She ducked in surprise and the remaining planes flew right over her head. A confused Braeburn finally looked over to see what was going on, and caught a plane right in each eye.

"AAAAUGH!" Braeburn howled and collapsed to the floor in a heap, his hands clutching his eyes in pain. Sour Sweet's heart stopped for several moments before she leapt from her seat to run from the cafeteria.

***

"Indirect approach..." Sour Sweet strolled casually down the hallway with picture clenched in her hands. Her eyes darted back and forth up and down the hallway, making sure it was empty before she quickly wrenched Braeburn's locker open. A wicked grin lit up her lips as she slipped the picture into the first textbook she could find, a history book, and slammed the door again. Her mission accomplished, she turned to march down the hallway. "Let's see if you can resist me after seeing that..."

She casually stepped out of the hallway when she saw Braeburn approaching, moving toward his locker as he spoke energetically with his companion. "I'm tellin' you it's no problem at all, Sassy." He approached his locker and pulled out his history textbook, holding it out to her. "Here you go, I think I've got all my chickens in a row on the subject."

"Thanks, I really owe you one." Sassy Saddles took the book from him with a wide smile. Sour Sweet clenched her teeth. "Come on, let's get to the cafeteria and we can do a little cramming together before our next class?"

"That sounds like a fine idea." Braeburn moved down the hall beside Sassy. Sour Sweet continued to swear at herself under her breath. That picture was for his eyes only!

When they neared her hiding spot, Sour Sweet suddenly leapt from the doorway, shoulder-tackling Sassy Saddles into the far row of lockers and clutching the textbook against her chest with both arms as she took off down the hallway.

"Sour Sweet! That's my book!" Braeburn called after her furiously.

"Sorry! I'm super interested in BaconHam Linkin'!" Sour Sweet shouted back just before rounding the far corner out of sight.

***

Sunny Flare opened her locker with a swing of one hand and slipped her books into place absently. She was glad school was over for the day, she had been keeping an eye on Sour Sweet's progress, and she was really starting to worry. These manic freakouts weren't entirely unusual for her, but they usually didn't involve stalking and harassing other students. Maybe now that school was ending she would go back to normal.

She looked up in surprise, along with every other student, when the school's P.A. system crackled to life, and Dean Cadence's voice echoed across the hallways. "Stop this! You can't just-" Her voice faded into crackles again.

The crackles faded into Sour Sweet's voice this time. "Get off of me! I gotta say it and you can't stop me! I-ow!" The sound of a roll of papers smacking something echoed down the hallways.

"Get away from-" The system went dark again.

Sunny Flare just stared at the nearest speaker in shock. This was even worse than usual.

Without warning Sour Sweet's voice echoed through the hallway one more time. "-out with me, meet me at-GAK-!" The P.A. system shut off again.

Sunny bit her lip. She was going to get herself hurt at this rate...

***

It was getting late in the day, long after school had ended. The sun was drifting toward the horizon, casting its glow across the large park filled with lush green vegetation. In its center sat Braeburn and Little Strongheart, on a picnic blanket with a wicker basket forgotten on the grass beside them. The girl was leaning contentedly against his powerful chest, her hands idly stroking the back of one of many cute, chirping birds that were standing on her legs, singing a soft, calming tune along with her golden, flutelike voice.

In the bushes not far behind them sat Sour Sweet, fuming and cursing to herself as she watched his hand stroke her smooth, slender arm. A whole day's effort had been wasted, and worst of all, she wasn't even close to fulfilling her declaration. She wasn't a quitter, she had never quit at anything in her life, and she wasn't about to start now!

After a deep, steadying breath, she marched out of the bushes toward the couple. "Little Strongheart!" The two lovebirds looked back at her in surprise. "I challenge you for Braeburn! Winner takes boyfriend!"

Braeburn scratched his head confusedly. "What am I, a pair of shoes?"

Little Strongheart just stared at her for a moment, then slowly began rising to her feet. The birds took flight, flapping their tiny wings powerfully against the air to get away from her as she stood. One of her hands snapped behind her, whipping a tomahawk from the back of her belt and swinging it expertly between her fingers on its way into position clenched in her right fist. Sour Sweet's eyes bolted from the shimmering blade of the weapon to Little Strongheart's eyes, which were sharply narrowed.

***

Twilight Sparkle sat at the top of the highest hill in the park, sipping at her tea after a deep breath to take in its scent. "Mmmh, it really is lovely out here Sugarcoat, thank you for inviting me."

"You're welcome. It's a pretty nice evening." Sugarcoat sipped her own tea, with her mug cupped daintily in both hands. Her eyes opened wide, and Twilight Sparkle nearly jumped out of her skin, when they both heard a high-pitched scream from further down the hill in the park. In the distance they could see a figure that looked like Sour Sweet charging across the grass at full speed.

Twilight adjusted her glasses. "Is that Sour Sweet running for her life from an axe-wielding maniac?"

"Looks like it."

"Should we help her?" Twilight cupped her hands worriedly in front of her as she watched Sour Sweet duck behind a tree, peering out from behind it at the approaching girl, who Twilight finally recognized as Little Strongheart. Little Strongheart swung the tomahawk as hard as she could, its blade biting deep into the trunk of the tree between them and sending a spray of bark across both girls. Sour Sweet took the opportunity to bolt from cover while Little Strongheart struggled to pull her weapon free.

"Nah."

"Isn't that what a friend would do?"

"Do you want to get between them?"

Twilight looked down again, just in time to see Little Strongheart hurl the tomahawk with a wide overhead swing. It missed its mark and embedded itself into the dirt, though this didn't slow down Sour Sweet one bit as she ran for the bathrooms in the eastern side of the park with all her strength.

"N-not really..."

"Sour Sweet will be fine," Sugarcoat said with one more dainty sip of her tea. "She's crafty."

***

Sour Sweet leaned against a bathroom stall door, her heart pounding in her chest the only sound she could hear until the footsteps followed her in. Sour Sweet gulped, seeing her life flashing before her eyes. It was a short life, but a good one, all in all. Especially that time in pre-school grade when her parents let her bring her big-wheel to school. So many burnouts on the pavement, laughing as her wheels ran over other students...

"Little Strongheart, so good to see you." Her flashbacks ceased when she heard Sunny Flare speak from outside the bathroom stall.

"Oh, hello Sunny." Little Strongheart's voice was light and amicable, all of a sudden. "How is your day going, today?"

"You know, same old same old. How about you?"

"Just teaching lessons."

"Important ones, I'm sure. I think I can take it from here, though."

"Okay, thank you. I'll see you tomorrow!"

"Later!" Sunny Flare went silent until a pair of footsteps disappeared into the distance. "You can come out now, Sour Sweet." The hiding girl hesitated a moment before opening the stall door with a sigh, walking out with her shoulders slumped. "Are you finished?"

"Yeah, I'm done..." Sour Sweet rubbed her forehead with one hand. "None of today went how I planned at all."

"The best laid plans of mice and men, as they say. And girls, of course." Sunny Flare moved closer to slip a comforting arm around her shoulders. "Glad to see you back to your normal self again. Did you learn anything today?"

"Yeah, don't @%$# with Little Strongheart! She has an axe!"

"Close enough." Sunny turned to guide her friend out of the bathroom and into the park. "You look tired. I'll walk you home."

"Thanks Sunny... and I'm sorry I kind of went crazy." Sour Sweet blushed and cupped her hands in front of her. "Sometimes my brain gets away from me."

"Don't worry about it. That's just part of your Sour Sweetness." Sunny squeezed her shoulders comfortingly with one arm and turned to lead her toward home. Sour Sweet felt herself relax for the first time since she got to school, leaning a bit against her friend. Now that her euphoria was wearing off, she decided it really wasn't worth the effort anyway. If he chose Little Strongheart over her, he didn't like her enough to consider going out with.

Now if only her brain worked well enough to figure that out sooner...