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Photograph
Jeffrey C. Wells
www.scrivnarium.net
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As artifacts of purest evil go, it is pretty benign-looking.
It's true. I've seen objects with greater sinister presence at an average Canterlot holiday card shop. Certainly there is a certain element of irreverence to it. In olden times, it may have been viewed as high sacrilege to dress a performing animal up as one of the Princess-Goddesses of Equestria, but Aunty Celestia's patient and kind refusal to smite those who would take either her name or her image in vain over the course of many centuries has successfully communicated to the citizens of Equestria at large the following message:
I am queen of the Unconquered Sun; the very world lives and dies at my say-so. I thank you for your worry, but I do not need your assistance in protecting my image.
So, it is not unheard of for ponies to, for instance, manufacture Nightmare Night costumes in the appearance of their beloved Princesses. Certainly I've had more than a few made in my likeness (some of which did admittedly make me blush). They are available for your pets as well, in case you have the burning desire to dress your cat up as Aunty Celestia and lavish her with praise. The cat would probably appreciate it.
And yes, if you happened to be a collector of exotic wildlife and had far too much time on your hooves, you might have the idea to take a pair of large monkeys, dress them in princess wigs and makeup, and snap a quick photograph of them as they played happily and obliviously together. This is certainly a thing you could do, and the result would be very similar to the innocuous bit of heavy paper spinning placidly in my cornflower-blue telekinetic field.
It's silly. It's cute.
It must be destroyed.
The moon is huge and full and bright overhead as I make my way through the twisting paths of Hedge Maze Center, a curiously complicated convention facility located just outside Ponyville that we have once again co-opted to serve as Dark Magic Containment Central. Frogs and crickets offer me serenades as I pass, perhaps mistaking me for my mother—Ladybird was always favored of the small, fruitful things of Equus, I have heard. I enjoy their songs as I work my way through the twisting paths, which prove little barrier to me, as I've trained extensively in the ever-shifting Maze of Madness located in the deep and secret basements beneath my crystalline castle. (Let it not be said that occupying the former home of a maniacally paranoid dictator is without its perks!)
At the very center of the maze, in the shadow of the pavilion stage, standing meditatively over a bright-burning brazier, is Luna. Her eyes are closed, her mane undulates serenely in the patient energy of the Stream, and she is otherwise little more than a hole cut into the dark, a little piece of the evening sky brought to earth and given hooves. She sparkles, glitters... coruscates? Is that the right word? Whatever word you use, she is easily one of the most beautiful ponies I have ever seen, the shadow that once lurked in my mother-figure's eyes, now healthy and whole and—most importantly—finally outside Celestia's head, where she belongs.
Luna stands in an elaborate pattern of interlocking ring-runes, glimmering star-blue at her hooves. She makes an effortless gesture with her neck, and another anomaly of dark magic rises from the rapidly-shrinking pile. This one is a thin-walled, transparent bottle made of an odd, crinkling material. Some fizzy orange liquid sloshes about at the bottom, and a band emblazoned with unfamiliar letters surrounds the middle of the bottle. I cannot read it, but there is a clear picture of a sliced orange near the bottom of the label. A soda bottle, I think to myself. We are harnessing the most powerful magic in all Equestria to incinerate half-empty soda bottles.
And incinerate it she does. Another graceful turn of her neck, and the offending bottle goes into the brazier, currently blazing with a pure-white Bellwether's Eradicator. There is a sharp, bright glare—like a flashbulb exploding in my face—and the bottle is gone without trace. Luna nods, satisfied, to herself.
Seeing her momentarily between tasks, I call out to her. "Aunty Lu—na..." I say, my voice starting strong but instantly faltering as I realize the gaffe. Shoot. I will never, ever remember. It is so unnatural to me.
The Night Princess's eyes flicker open. "'Luna,'" she says, simply. "Not 'Aunty.' You will pardon me if I do not play my sister's games with you, Cadance."
"I'm... sorry," I say, feeling plain and tiny and alone in the dark.
"It is all right," she lies, tucking her annoyance away. "I merely seek to root out your illusions. Your dam Ladybird was not my sister, except in the general sense that all the alicorns of old Everfree were. She was, truth to tell, not even particularly my friend. I address you as a respectful equal, but let us not pretend to have familial bonds that we do not."
"Sorry," I say again. "I'm really trying."
Luna sighs, with a wan little smile. "Habits are hard to break. I know this full well, and I appreciate your efforts. Do you report back with success?"
I nod. "I found it. It was tangled in the branches of a very old tree."
"...which explains why our aura-readings were less than clear. Trees have gravitas, old trees especially so. Congratulations on finding it, at last." She smiles again, briskly. "Well! Unless I am mistaken, that would be it! Easier than last time, yes?"
"Compared to the Inspiration Manifestation incident, this was a snap."
"Regular foal's play," agrees Luna. "On the morrow, we should receive missives from the teams in Manehattan, Rainbow Falls, and Appleloosa. If they have had as easy a time as we've had here, I will be pleased to call this containment a success. Then will I return to the Dreamlands for a bath, a meal, and a good day's sleep. You'll be back to the Empire, I expect?"
"Yes. My Shining Armor misses me."
"You are a lucky mare. Ever did I have suitors in my youth, once upon a time, but none to whom I would bind my soul. And then..."
A cloud crosses her stormy blue eyes.
"...things, ah, happened, I suppose?"
My cutie mark is practically tingling, my flank insisting that it's time for me to get to work. Princess of Love Powers: Activate! "Never you fear, Luna," I say, testing the waters with one hoof. "You'll find the perfect stallion some day."
"Mm," says Luna. "As you well know, there is little room in my heart for any pony save my sister. We are all the old married spouses either of us might ever need."
"It's never too late!" I say, my eyes glimmering. I always get too into this. Stars above, I can't help myself...
Luna purses her lips. "Clearly it is my fault for not speaking more plainly: this topic is closed, Cadance."
I wince, inwardly. "Right. Sorry."
Luna nods as her horn ignites again, lifting another bit of detritus from the pile of invasive artifacts. This one is clearly a sock of some kind, worn and dirty, with a little hole at the tip. Once again, the most mundane of objects, completely unremarkable but for the fact that it is shaped for a hoof of utterly alien proportion. Luna barely even spares it a glance before tossing it upon the brazier, unmaking it in a flash as though it never was.
"Ah, the life of a Princess of Equestria," she says. "Dealing with the dirty laundry of the universe. Literally, tonight, it seems." A bit more fishing and she comes up with some sort of athletic pennant emblazoned with the device of a sideways horseshoe; then a glossy black rectangle of some kind. I look on as Luna casually annihilates artifact after artifact in the cleansing fire of the Eradicator, leaving behind nothing but magically-sterile iridescent ash. They motion grows hypnotic, and I am ashamed to admit that I do not at first hear Luna trying to grab my attention.
"Cadance!" Luna says again, louder. I startle, looking up at her.
"Yes?"
"The photograph, if you please."
"Oh," I say, giving it another glance as it hovers nearby. "Certainly."
A pause.
"Fascinating thing, right?" I say, wiggling the photo around. "I've been reading some of Twilight's field notes on the mirror world. If I recall correctly, this is called a 'polaride,' and it comes out of a tiny portable developing studio you can carry around with you in one hoof. You just push a single button, and the polaride does absolutely all the work for you!"
"All the more reason to distrust it."
"Come now, Aun—" (shoot) "—Luna. I don't think it sounds so bad."
"Only because you have not yet truly thought on it," says Luna. "Since my return from exile, I have been baffled by the peculiar trinkets of this modern Equestria, and few of them worry me more than the 'flash camera.' Long ago, in the depths of my Nightmare, I attempted to stop time itself, to prevent the day from succeeding the night. I sought to live, forever, in a perfect frozen moment. I have since learned, with the help of Twilight Sparkle and friends, that moments are meant to pass; and to not allow them to do so invites devastation. Even the simplest of things may harbor deep and hidden dangers to the soul, Cadance. And this from a conventional Equestrian device! How much more damage might come from a photograph born of dark magic?"
I hedge. "It's just... are we sure the mirror universe is all that bad?"
"The world beyond that mirror was a land devoid of both magic and harmony. My sister's one-time protegée Sunset Shimmer introduced the former to it without bothering with the latter. Magic without Harmony ends in darkness. It is fundamental catechism. You know this, Cadance."
"Yes, but—"
"'But'?" says Luna, arching an eyebrow. "'But'? Do you not recall Princess Twilight's notes on the subject? Severed from Equestria's wellspring of Harmony, the very Element of Magic was transformed from a tool of salvation into a artifact of diabolic power! One moon later, a parallel form of Twilight Sparkle herself fell to the Nightmare because of it! Do I need to remind you how terrifying a concept this is?" Luna gestures at the dwindling junk-pile with one silver-shod hoof. "These artifacts slipped directly from that cursed plane into ours, through holes gouged in the fabric of time and space. They have no Harmony of their own. However harmless they look, this fact alone makes them a threat to our existence. We cannot be too careful. They must be eradicated."
"Sure," I say. "Of course."
Luna rolls her eyes. "And now begins the pout."
"I'm not pouting."
"You are, in fact. This is Inspiration Manifestation all over again. 'Such a beautiful ruby cup! Are we sure we have to destroy it?'"
"That's not what my voice sounds like," I mutter.
"'Such a beautiful jeweled locket! Such a beautiful golden cobblestone! Aunty Luna, are we sure?' You are so very much like your mother, Cadance."
I blink, taking a step back. "I'll... take that as a compliment?"
"'Twas not precisely intended as such. Certainly you have her sentimentality, and her strength of emotion. But the both of you are also unable to leave well enough alone, questing for answers that have already been given. So the answer remains the same here as with any dark relic you've found this day. Yes, we must destroy the little pin shaped like your cutie mark. Yes, we must destroy the little tube that makes the terrifically loud noise when you push the button on top of it. And yes, we must destroy that photograph. Please place it upon the gravel outside the ring-rune and I'll begin unlocking the barrier."
We lock eyes for a moment.
I fail to put down the photograph. I lift it, feebly, instead.
"It's just... you look so happy."
"That is not me!" Luna fairly roars. "That is a monkey who apparently serves as a minor administrator in some sort of bizarre monkey-related secondary school! Her mood has no relation to mine whatsoever!" Luna stamps a hoof. "Even besides that, I am not convinced you're reading the monkey's mood correctly. It could be constipated, or gassy. You are titanically hippomorphizing the dumb animal."
"Clearly, this is not a digestive issue, Luna. The you-monkey is obviously just having a little fun with the me-monkey." I pause. "They're friends," I finish, quietly.
"Right," says Luna, beginning to systematically dismantle the wards in her path and reestablish them behind herself, like a diver leaving a submersible. "I can see I have no choice but to come out there."
"Okay, just listen. Maybe we can, I don't know, learn something from the monkeys?"
"Learn what?" Luna says, waving her horn in an artful pass and causing another set of fiery letters at her hooves to flicker and die. "Fruit-eating? Excrement-flinging?"
"Friendship, Luna! Perhaps you're familiar with it? I've heard it's, I don't know, magic, am I right?"
"We aren't friends!"
"My point exactly! These two monkeys can be friends. We could give it a try, right?"
Luna's lip stiffens, and she says nothing for a moment, methodically unlocking rune after rune in bare silence. "That monkey," she says, "has not seen what I have seen. It has not done what I have done."
"I've read Twilight's field reports, and I believe our two worlds are closer than you give them credit for being. Okay, yes, perhaps monkey-Luna did not try to usher in an age of eternal night. Monkeys don't have that kind of power. But I would bet you my breastcollar she did something that makes her feel the same way."
"And after she recovered her senses, and was brought back into the good graces of her sister, there was a great party celebrating her return to society, just as in this world, yes?"
"Yes!"
"With punch, and cake, and all sorts of festive trappings?"
"Yes!"
"And did the monkey version of you attend that party?"
I am clawed open. My throat tightens around the words and I cannot speak.
Luna carves through another ring-rune, her horn sparking in agitation. "Perhaps monkey-you was busy that day, hm? Well, then, perhaps a note of some kind? What say you, Cadance? Did monkey-Cadance send a nice letter of encouragement, welcoming a sister back into the light? Did monkey-Cadance convey her sincerest regrets at not being present for the most important event monkey-Luna's life? Did monkey-Cadance promise to come meet monkey-Luna at her earliest opportunity, to stand with her in the ancient and sisterly unity of the alicorn tribe? For you and I know full well that pony-Cadance most certainly did not."
"You don't understand," I say, instantly ashamed at the heavy feeling of suppressed tears welling beneath my eyelids. "That was... that was a difficult time for me."
"And only for you, of course," says Luna.
"I wrecked the soul of an entire city," I say, with more force than I intend. "A city I cared very much about. I remade a proud and independent tribe into the very image of Canterlot and the Hegemony, and I did it all at Aunty Celestia's whim. And I didn't even realize what I was doing until it was all over." My gaze falls to the gravel below. "So I ran away. I was tired of being Celestia's tool."
Luna gives a sharp, bitter laugh. "Then you are tired of being a pony, Cadance. Absolutely every pony in Equestria is one of Celestia's tools, the hammers with which she ceaselessly forges a brighter tomorrow. We are means to an end. That she can see us as tools and yet simultaneously love us—truly, honestly, and deeply—is one of the wonders of my sister. It is exactly the same with you or me as it is with the tiniest foal shuffling rocks around on the family rock farm."
"No," I say. "Not the same. She loves you more than anypony."
"You think so, do you?"
"I know so! This isn't speculation! This is my job, Luna. I can feel it in her. I've always been able to feel it in her. Even before I knew you existed, I knew that there was somepony out there she loved more than any pony in Equestria. More than..."
I pause.
"More than me," I say, blinking.
Luna's magic hums, and another ring of runes falls. "Ah," says Luna, nearly outside the spectral cage now. "I see. The recalcitrance to greet me or even to know me becomes clear. You were jealous of my sister's affection."
"What was I supposed to feel?" I say, the words tumbling out. I barely even know what I'm saying at this point. "No matter what I did, no matter how good a princess I tried to be. I was always being compared to—and found wanting against—a complete stranger. You have no idea what it feels to be supplanted in Aunty's eyes!"
Luna snarls. Her magic flares white. "I most certainly *do!"* she thunders.
Silence falls over the clearing at the center of the hedge maze as Luna's voice echoes and rumbles away. When she speaks again, it is in a low, dangerous hiss. "One thousand years away. Nothing to think on but my sister. We were last of the alicorns, we were; or so I believed. Even in the depths of madness, I comforted myself that at least Celestia must be thinking of me as often as I thought of her. And what do I find upon my return? That Celestia has been doting for decades over a pink little substitute sister, sweet as candyfloss, beloved by all. The exact princess Celestia always wanted to find in me."
The last ring-rune falls before Luna's magic, leaving an empty pattern on the gravel behind her. "The same perfect little princess that I could never be."
Now free of the rune circle, Luna approaches, her hooves crunching against the gravel of the clearing. I know in my mind that we are not so different in height, but in this moment she seems to tower over me, huge and terrific.
A wind stirs the leaves of the hedges.
"A substitute is all I ever was," I say. Luna is close enough that I can feel the hot breath of her flared nostrils. "I could never be you to her. No matter how hard I tried."
"And no matter how hard I tried," says Luna, "I could never be you."
She plucks the photograph from my telekinetic field, overpowering it in an instant. Luna is so very strong.
"Look at us," she says, mildly. "Two old mares bickering over the love of a fickle old nag." She turns away, walking sedately back to the arcane circles.
"Luna," I say. "I'm sorry."
"Mistakes have been made," she says, not turning around or missing a step. "Baggage unsorted, laundry unaired, demons unexorcised."
"Emotional complexes undeconstructed and unanalyzed."
"That," says Luna, offhoofedly. "We've begun, at the very least."
"I'm sorry."
"I as well. It does feel better to clear the air a bit, doesn't it?" Luna begins to make her way back through the shielding runes. "In any case, this photograph would appear to be the last of them. I assume that Princess Twilight has a guest bed all arranged for you. You may as well get some sleep."
"I'll stay. Until you're done."
"As you wish," says Luna, mechanically working her way through another layer of runes.
When she finally reaches the Eradicator, she pauses for a moment, studying the picture. "Things were different for them," she says. "Different than for us, I mean."
"I wonder what it was like," I say.
"You dwell upon frozen moments again," says Luna. "Worse, you dwell upon frozen moments that never were. Not here in the real world." She tosses the photograph onto the Eradicator. I want to look away, but I force myself to watch, even as the light of the disintegrating photograph stings the back of my eyes. "Look toward the future, Cadance. It is in looking backwards that monsters are born."
"Right," I say. "Agreed."
An awkward silence. Luna plucks another artifact from the pile.
"Do you think there is some kind of a future?" I ask. "For us, I mean."
"Let us focus on this night," says Luna. "Tonight is all the future I can stomach."
"Okay," I say.
I stay with her until the dawn.
