Chapters "Good morning Ponyville!" I say out my window.
It has been 3 years today since I got sent to Equestria, a land filled with talking ponies. I'll admit, I did what any person would have done when realizing this wasn't Kansas anymore... I went and punched a princess in the face. Don't take that the wrong way either, SHE DESERVED IT! The first comment she made when I landed here was 'What is your name, little weird looking one?' and proceeded to poke me with her hoof in the face. But as the months went by I really started to like this society. The ponies were really friendly and willing to help me out. It was actually because of someone's help that I met my Marefriend.
During the first few months in Ponyville, things were a little hectic. I ended up getting a job at a local flower store run by a Mare named Roseluck. She used to have two others working with her but they recently opened another shop down in Canterlot so it was just me and her running the store. It was peaceful most days but sometimes she would freak out because a rose was missing or a bouquet wasn't properly organized. Her fits made my day all the more enjoyable. Near closing time one day, a stallion came over to greet me. Taking notice of my stress, he invited me to join him at the local nightclub for a drink or two. I accepted and clocked out for the day. On my way there, he told me all about this nightclub and what it was all about. He said the DJ running the place was a great musician and was currently in the top 10 musicians of Equestria, currently ranking #3. I got more and more excited as we got closer to the club.
After what seemed like forever, we made it to the night club. The sign above it read 'Bass Drop Night Club'. It seemed that tonight was going to be a great night. As we entered, we took notice of the many guards near a staircase probably leading up to the V.I.P section. I ignored it as I followed the stallion who brought me here into the main auditorium. The place was bloody massive. I looked around to see the population of about 2x Ponyville's! It seems like people come from all over to be here. As I look around, I notice that the bar was relatively empty and decided to take as seat there. As soon as I was seated, a unicorn mare came up to take my order. I asked for my favorite drink; Fireball Whiskey, invented by the griffons; and the bartender happily trotted off to grab it. It seems business in the bar was super low because of the massive party. A few moments later a shot glass with my drink sat right in front of me. As I drank it and let it burn down my throat, I didn't take notice that another mare had taken the seat beside me and was currently trying to get my attention. As I turned my head, I saw the most awesome sight in my entire life.
Beside me sat a pure white coated unicorn with electric blue frizzy hair. Her cutie mark resembled a musical note. Atop her muzzle sat a pair of violet shades which she proceeded to raise, showing off her beautiful red eyes. I was left speechless by the sight. She giggled at the sight of my jaw dropping and continued to introduce herself. Her name was Vinyl Scratch, the DJ working the club weeknights and some weekends. She began questioning me on a few things like what I was and why my hands were what they were. I just told her it was normal for what I was and she just nodded in understanding. She then proceeded to ask me up to the VIP section and without hesitation I agreed. She chuckled again and got up, beckoning me to follow her. As we reached the staircase guarded by about 8 guards, Vinyl just waved and they all stood aside. I followed her up to what seemed to be an empty DJ area. I thought this was a VIP area where people were exclusively partying.
As I turned to ask her what she brought me up here for, I felt her lips press against mine. Was she really kissing me? I didn't stop her. In fact, I accepted it and returned it. One kiss led to two which led to us making out for a little while. After about 15 minutes, we separated from the passionate make out session to catch our breaths. She said that she needed some excitement and that this was just the thing to cure the lack of it. Ever since that night I kept coming back to see her. After about 2 weeks of this, I decided to ask her out. She quickly said yes and told me that she had been waiting for me to ask her out for the past week. We went on a few dates and things got really serious between us. We confessed our love for each other and decided to become partners. She wasn't ready for marriage anytime soon and neither was I, so we decided to stay as Colt/boyfriend and Marefriend. We have been dating for 2 and a half years now.
And that brings us to today.
I looked out my window to see the ponies of the town waving hello to me after a heartfelt good morning. As I shut the window, I head over to the closet and get dressed in my casual wear. A T-shirt, Jeans and running shoes. I looked around the room to notice that there were skid marks on the floor leading out the door. Whenever the marks were on the floor, it meant I had a 15 minute warning to get downstairs and into the kitchen. As i looked at the alarm clock, It read 6:57. 3 minutes to go. I rush out the door and down the stairs. Making sharp turns in the hallways. As I reach the kitchen, I see Vinyl waiting for me impatiently. I run to my seat as she takes hers as well. There is little over 15 seconds remaining on the dishwasher start up.
"Ready for this babe?" Vinyl asks, slyly.
"You know it!" I slyly grin back.
5...4...3...2...1...
WUB WUB WUB
Lord almighty I love that dishwasher. Ever since I moved in with Vinyl, I got used to her way of life. That included her appliances. The dishwasher is how we woke up in the morning and we both loved every minute of it. It gave us a jump start boost to the morning and filled our heads with inspiration. Sadly the wubs only lasted for 2 minutes before they stopped. As we finished out first morning routine, Vinyl got up to check the schedule on the fridge. Today was my turn to cook and her turn to clean, which means she gets off easy with her magic. I groan a bit and head over to the stove.
One thing about Vinyl is that she eats a lot in the morning. And by a lot I mean A LOT! Her usual order is 10 slices of hay bacon, 3 eggs over easy, 5 pancakes and a large glass of orange juice. I didn't complain though. I knew how much she loved my cooking and she always loved when it was my turn to cook. Sometimes she would even change the schedule to make it my day to cook. It didn't bother me because I got to spend time with her during all this. After cooking everything and piling it on to one place, I set it in front of her. As I turn around to go wash my hands, I hear a loud chomp and turn around again. Within mere seconds all the food is gone and...
"Vinyl?" I angle my head at her.
"Yes, my love?" She giggles.
"You ate the plate!" I say, amused that she could do that in the first place.
As she took another look down at the table, her entire face went red. This isn't the first time its happened and it most likely wont be the last. But when Vinyl is super hungry, the plate is part of her meal. She walks over to me and gives me a passionate kiss on the lips before thanking me for cooking breakfast. As she grabbed her shades and saddlebags I ran over to stop her.
"Do you have to work today?" I ask, a bit saddened.
"Yea, I do... sorry..." She responds with the same level of sorrow as me, "But when I get home, I'm all yours."
"Alright." I give her mane a quick ruffle and present her with a small scratch behind the ear.
She smiles at me and pecks me on the cheek before heading off to work. I will be doing the same in the next hour. I usually have time to kill in the morning but there is one thing I love to do. I walk over to the music room and plug in the headphones. I start working away at a new song for Vinyl, knowing how stressed she usually is after work every day. I take my time adjusting everything to perfection. A few beat skips are patched up and any volume issues are taken care of. A half hour later I transfer the song onto a record and leave it on the turntable for Vinyl to find. As I nod my head in satisfaction, I look over at the clock. 11:36... 24 minutes till I have to be at work. Might as well head there early knowing there is nothing left to do around the house. As i pack what little I need, I head out the door and over to the flower shop. I know what a lot of ponies are thinking: The coltfriend of Vinyl Scratch works at a flower shop? It's a well paying and very fun job. Not to mention my boss is a total sweetheart. Vinyl had offered me a position at her workplace but I declined knowing that it would end badly if we were in the same workplace for too long. We would end up making out and not getting any work done. Plus, I wouldn't abandon Roseluck on her own! She needs all the help she can get and with my hands working better than hooves, I basically was made for the job!
I let my mind drift off as I make my way to the flower shop.
Author's Note
Yes, between Silver Spoon and Spitfire, Vinyl Scratch is my favorite pony. Shocking eh?
Anyways enjoy. I hope this first chapter is good enough.
So this was my everyday life. I would wake up to the sound of an amazing dishwasher, end up either cooking or cleaning, seeing Vinyl off to her work and then an hour later, heading to my own workplace. It was a pretty smooth morning routine if you ask me. But every morning got harder and harder because I kept thinking about her when she left for work. Every day I counted the minutes until I could see her again. At least my job kept me a bit distracted from that, but overall I wanted to be home, cuddling her. But, all I can hope for is that she has a good day and that I can get through the workday without messing up. It shouldn't be to hard hopefully.
As I approached the flower shop, the smell of roses became more noticeable. This most likely meant that Roseluck was getting a special order ready and she was nervous. Whenever Roseluck was nervous, she emits a nice rose smell that can help sooth her and others. But I hate seeing her nervous or stressed so I decided to help. As soon as I walked through the doors, a small bell rang, signaling my arrival. I called out to her and to my luck, she was in the greenhouse located at the back of the shop. I loved it back there do to it being so relaxing. As I walked through the second door, I saw Roseluck dashing around, looking for certain flowers. This must of been a pretty special order if she was moving faster than pinkie planning a party!
I cleared my throat to get her attention but she kept dashing around, grabbing flowers. I cleared my throat a bit louder and still she didn't pay attention. Whenever this situation happened, there is only one thing to do. I have to calm her down before she faints again! I run into the main store area and head to the register. I open it and find a small brown satchel tied up in a nice bow. Within this satchel was potpourri, the most calming smell for Roseluck. I ran back to the greenhouse and found her still dashing around. I threw the potpourri down near her and she came to a screeching halt. She slowly walked up and sniffed the bag, then collapsed in happiness. That was a close call! I walk over to her and start petting her.
"Roseluck, why are you so worried?" I ask, confused.
She got up after a few more quick sniffs of the potpourri.
"There is a super important request from the crystal empire" She starts, "They want a Iceflame bouquet!"
Woah! Iceflame bouquets are the hardest to make. Flowers of living fire and soul dew ice are put together. If they stay in a balanced temperature then they will be fine. If it's anything higher, the soul dew ice flowers will melt. If it's anything lower, then the living fire flowers will freeze. The bouquet itself is contained in a temperature wrap, enchanted to keep it hot and cold. Not only were they hard to make, but keeping the flowers in check are very difficult! Who would order such a bouquet, especially in the Crystal Empire?
"Who the heck would order a Iceflame bouquet?!" I ask, worrying as well.
"Princess Cadence." She says, starting to shake again.
"Oh for the love of..." I start to trail off.
This is JUST like her. Princess Cadence is always needing the best for her castle and that's where we come in. She always orders the biggest bouquets or the hardest to make bouquets. Even though she does pay a lot for them, it is still annoying to transport these to the Crystal Empire every time. It tenses me up just thinking about the order she made. I look over at Roseluck and give her the 'I got this' look and head over to the special flower section of the greenhouse. I turned to see that she had taken the potpourri over to a corner and was just sitting there relaxing. I turned back and looked at the different flowers. I found the types I needed and carefully put them together. One ice and fire at a time to balance it out. A few minutes later and the bouquet was done.
With my hands, this job was the easiest thing in the whole world. Being able to pick and sort quicker than with hooves or any magic gave me an advantage. Usually that would have taken Roseluck nearly all day to finish the bouquet but here it was. Wrapped, neatly sorted and in the container, ready to be transported over to the Crystal Empire. I went over to see how Roseluck was doing and it seemed that she had settled down for a little nap. I gave a slight chuckle before heading back into the main store. I decided to let her sleep after the stress she just went through. I'll take over for a bit while she is out.
The sun started to set on the horizon as I had just made the final sale of the day. The store had made 134 bits today off of flowers alone. No gardening supplies or seeds bought. Just flowers. As I went over to the door, I turned the open sign to closed and went back into the greenhouse to check and see if Roseluck was awake. As I walked in, I noticed that she was just getting up. As she looked around, she started panicking again. She questioned me about the Iceflame bouquet and I explained to her that I arranged it and had it sent off to the Crystal Empire. This seemed to calm her down immensely.
"Thank you" She said with a smile, "I couldn't have done this with out your help!"
"Honestly it was no big deal..." I start to fear, "Tomorrow is going to be a big deal!"
"Whats tomorrow?" She tilted her head to the side.
"Vinyl has a... Dentist... Appointment." I say, scared out of my mind.
Roseluck gasped at the thought and violently shook her head.
"This is not good!" She said, starting to show immense worry again.
"I'll deal with that tomorrow" I say, calming the both of us down, "let's just pray she doesn't flip out like last time."
"Agreed!" she chuckled.
"Well, I'm heading off for the day" I state, "Night."
As she waves me off, I head out the door and back into the streets of Ponyville.
During the evening, the town is very peaceful. Everyone is retiring in for the night and the only ones up are the party ponies heading over to Vinyls club. She should be getting off work soon as well. It will be nice to relax for about 5 seconds tomorrow with her before things go to hell. But it was time all the same. Every night I cherished the fact that she was sleeping right beside me. Her fuzzy mane really made me happy because it would send a shock down my arm when I ruffled it. I wish that she had more time though. I mean, the only time I get to spend a decent amount of time with her is when its a weekend where she is off.
Well, tomorrow a Saturday and its not going to be a pleasant one. Tomorrow is going to be torture. But, nonetheless its for Vinyl so I will have to go with it.
I head home to prepare for tomorrow's fresh hell
Author's Note
Note:
If you need to maximize the comedy in this chapter, please play the benny hill theme.
Thank you
Dentists Appointment
"NOOOOOOOOOO!" Vinyl scream as she crashed through the front door and ran into Ponyville.
"VINYL! GET BACK HERE! YOU NEED TO GO!" I yell as I start chasing after her.
So here's the deal with Vinyl. She absolutely, positively, undeniably hates going to the dentist every 3 months. Even though she and Minuette Colgate were the best of friends, when it came down to business, she hated the mare to an unholy extent. I never saw what the big deal was! It was just a regular cleaning and cavity check, not torture! I know she has a problem when it comes to her physical health, but her teeth were just off limits when it came to being checked on by anyone!
And I know what you may be thinking! 'She can't be like this every time'. Well my friend you are 100% wrong. Every time she has an appointment, she will linger by the door early in the morning, shaking and sweating. As I walk up, we exchange greetings, I try to tell her about the appointment and then it happens. She bursts out the door like a maniac and before I can give her a chase, I make sure to have a letter written to the repair man with the words Door, Vinyl, and Dentist written in it.
But this isn't even the worst it gets. We had to call CELESTIA to help clean up the mess Vinyl made of the town last time! And let me tell you, she was freaking pissed at what Vinyl had done. She had set fire to everything somehow. EVEN THE FRIGGIN LAKE! I mean, sure, she can be a pyromaniac like normal crazy ponies, but if you can set fire to water, you are either A) Discord, B) Sweetie Belle or C) God. This unicorn does not joke around when it comes to her teeth and their safety.
Right, so Vinyl couldn't have gone far off the bat, it's not like her. She would usually hide somewhere near her house and then wait for me to run into Ponyville looking for her. Little does she know, I've caught on to her little secret. I start to creep around to the back of the house and start hearing rustling in a nearby bush. I look over towards the shrub and to no surprise, their is a electric blue tail sticking out of it. She is making this one too easy!
As I walk over to touch the tail, it seems to flick back and forth as to protect itself. I reached forward to grab it, but as if on queue, she jumped into the air and started to dash off again. I give a small sigh and start running after her. As I look around to figure out where exactly she is running, I feel my eyes widen in the sheer horror after realizing where she is dashing off to. I can't believe that she is taking this one to the extreme. She can't be this crazy when it comes to her dental hygiene, can she? Before I get ready to follow her around yet another corner, I end up whispering where she is going due to how scared I was.
"The Hospital..."
She is NUTS! The hospital is the other place she tries to avoid other than the dentist's office and now she is charging straight for it at breakneck speed? It's like she has lost all sense of control and logic this time. I have seen her wreck everything in Ponyville before but the only building always left standing is the hospital. This is mainly due to the magical blockade they set up before Vinyl has a chance to completely tear it down. I start to think that the hospital is going to be completely fine until...
*CRASH*
And there we have it folks, the DJ known as DJPon3, also known as Vinyl Wubzer Scratch, has just broken a force-field that was held strong by about 28 unicorns but still was weak enough for a dentist hating DJ to break through without any trouble whatsoever. Well at least she is just standing there staring at me with utter hate and despise in stead of doing anything remotely crazy. It seems she is starting to come to her senses and is ready to give in and go get her teeth checked up. This is turning up to be the easiest chase I have ever given to this mare, and that makes me so happy to know that I don't have to chase her for another... three... months... Why is she evilly smiling at me like she is about to do something completely insane? Wait a minute, why is she turning arou- WHY IS SHE STARTING TO WALK AWAY. Wait a moment... is she... oh no... OH NO! She isn't... she can't be... she is turning around... she looks utterly pissed and why is she red and steaming?
It took all of two seconds for my expression to go from calm and collected back to sheer horror and fright. A few moments after realizing what the heck is about to happen, my breath and voice come back to me instantly.
"Anon... you have dug your own grave this time..." I say in fear.
As soon as I finish that sentence, she growls at me and charges like a bull. A squeal releases itself from my body as I turn to run for my life. It seems the tides have turned and I am the one being hunted. What has gotten into this mare all of a sudden?! From being scared out of her mind to charging at me like a raging bull?! This is sheer madness!!! I know she does some stupid stuff when she's scared but this is a totally new aspect of her that I have yet to see.
As I continue to run through Ponyville, I yell at the ponies currently in town to do the same and every single one tilted their head in puzzlement until they saw the red DJ of doom burst through town after me. After a few screams and shouts from the town, I hear doors being open and shut until the town is in dead silence. Good, now everyone is safe except for my sorry butt!
Corner after corner I try to lose this mare so I can turn the fight against her again but it seems I have a GPS tracking signal on me or something because she always manages to keep up and find me! Every time I turn my head to see if it is safe, I see a charging Vinyl Scratch heading right for me. This is turning into a dire emergency and there is only one pony who can help me now. Minuette Colgate.
Colgate knows that Vinyl runs every time and I believe she is the one who called me getting hunted down by said DJ. I always told her it would be fine but she kept on insisting that we think of a backup plan in case things got TOO extreme. They told me to whisper a certain phrase and it would send off a magical signal straight to Colgate, telling her to teleport straight to my location. Fun fact, Colgate is the only one I've seen so far who can pin down Vinyl and keep her down without struggling. As I turn the corner and quickly stop behind the wall, I see Vinyl dart through without noticing me. Phew, I lost her. Time to get the dentist.
"The hourglass has shattered." I whisper to myself.
It took all of 3 seconds for a burst of light to appear in front of me, revealing the blue mare known as Colgate. Her mane and tail were a dark blue and super light grayish colors and on her flank sat an hourglass cutie mark, most likely representing how the hourglass keeps time while brushing teeth. She was always happy to see me, but in this scenario, she was terrified.
"You lure her over here, I'll teleport us to the office." She says.
I nod and start running out from around the corner I was hiding at. I dart my head around and notice Vinyl is no where in sight. Maybe she went home, or maybe she is just hiding again. Both those guesses were shattered then and there when I heard a roar coming from my left side and there stood the enraged DJ, ready to charge again. But in order to get her mad enough to follow me again, I will have to pull out my wild card. I reach into the back pockets of my jeans and pull out a piece of Hay-Bacon I was going to tempt her with but now will use against her. She seemed to perk up and smile at this but as soon as I shoved it in my mouth, her mouth dropped and she went from pissed to livid. I wouldn't be surprised if the devil himself was scared of this mare!
As I stick my tongue out at Vinyl, she charges at me with a breakneck speed, which my only response to was to run the direction I came from. Luckily, she was on my tail. As soon as I reached the spot where I was before, I ducked behind the corner and signaled for Colgate to get ready because an livid DJ was on the brink of finding us. As soon as Vinyl stopped to look at me, we were all engulfed in a blue light and the next thing you know, I am in the dentist waiting room. I take a deep breath knowing its all over.
"DAMN YOU COLGATE AND ANON!!!!!!!!"
That was all I heard before the iron plated door shut and locked. This was in here so patients, such as Vinyl, couldn't get out. This was the usual room for her due to the fact when we tried to put her in a normal room, she broke the monitors, the table, the chairs and to no surprise, the walls. I listened carefully but all I could here was silence and nothing but it. I smiled and took a seat, noticing that I was the only one in the waiting room. I grabbed an outdated newspaper and relaxed.
A half hour later, I hear the door unlock and Colgate walking out without Vinyl with her. This caused my head to tilt and she just laughed and pointed a hoof towards the room. As I walked over and into the room, I heard something all too familiar to me. It was the sound of somepony breathing in and exhaling wubz. I looked over in the chair and secured to it was a sleeping Vinyl Scratch with a smile on her face.
Colgate said it would take another 10 minutes for the sleep spell she cast to wear off and said I would have to stay with her until it did. I simply nodded my head and sat down in the chair at the desk. I started playing with random things on the desk to pass the time and literally not noticing that ten minutes had passed, I heard Vinyl give off a yawn and I turned to look at her with a huge smile on my face.
"Hello sunshine!" I smile.
"I hate you both." She says and turns away from me.
"I know you do Vinyl, I know." I say, placing a hand on her side.
"You owe me dinner." She turns back around.
"Where do you want to go Vinyl?" I ask, thinking she wouldn't drop this until I did what she said.
"Hayburger is fine." She says, smirking.
"I'll pay for everything, my little wub." I say, scratching her ear.
"You better!" She snaps.
I am a good boyfriend.
Hello, my name is Anon, and I am super lucky to have the local DJ as my marefriend. The only problem is that she is a pony. In fact, most intelligent creatures here in Equestria are ponies, except for me. You see, I came here a long time ago while exploring some ancient ruins on earth. It was sort of my hobby to go on adventures and this was one I was waiting on for a long time. As I was exploring, I had happened to stumble upon a journal of some sorts. It told a story about the writers time in another world where he saw the most wonderful of things. The only problem is that it was in shreds and unfinished. He must have been attacked and didn't make it back. As I looked around, I saw a door leading down into some sort of underground pool. I decided to take a swim and see how the water felt. When I jumped in, I got pulled down deeper and deeper. When I finally resurfaced, I noticed that this wasn't where I came from. I tried swimming back down but I only hit the bottom of the lake I had come up in. When I came back up, there was a horse with a horn and wings looking at me confused. This was the princess. You know the rest of the story.
The reason I am writing this is because I finally have learned how important it is to document your life because you don't know how quickly it can be taken away from you. I learned that after today, the day which Vinyl had a dentists appointment and ended up hunting me down and probably trying to kill me. I finally got her calmed down afterwards but there was one problem... I pissed her off again later during the day, specifically, after the appointment.
So, reader, can I ask you something? Have you ever said something, realized exactly what you said and knew that you screwed up and constantly apologized? Because I made that same mistake today. The only difference between what I asked and what I did was the fact I didn't get to apologize before I was yet again chased down by a raging Vinyl Scratch. Do I regret what I said? Absolutely! But does that make up for what the heck I said? Nope! Let me tell you what the heck happened between me and the most awesome, amazing, super co-
"Vinyl, do I have to write all that?" I ask, nervous.
"Don't make me angry again Anon!" Vinyl says, glaring daggers at me.
"Ok!" My voice cracks.
Let me tell you what the heck happened between me and the most awesome, amazing, super cool... and hot-headed... DJ ever.
We started to walk out the once sealed door in the dentists office and headed for the exit. I waved off Colgate and she asked Vinyl if she would see her in 3 months, which to that, Vinyl turned and positioned herself facing away from a potted plant. She proceeded to kick it over and walked out with her head up high and humming a victory tune. I walked over to the counter where Colgate was currently doing some paperwork and placed enough bits to replace the plant Vinyl broke. She smiled and nodded, accepting the bits and waving me off as I left. I walked down the stairs, knowing that Vinyl was already down there, waiting for me to take her to eat like I promised her. As I approached the bottom of the stairs, I saw her whimpering at the door like a dog. I simply rolled my eyes and walked out with her.
As we headed for the nearest Hay-Burger, she kept poking at me to bug me and it worked. As I glared down at her, she lit up her horn and shot a beam at my face. A bright light flashed and when it faded, I wondered what the heck she just did. I tried to ask her but quickly found out when I tried... she had sealed my mouth shut so I wouldn't try and bug her while she was eating. I just growled through my closed mouth as she began to hum again. I may love this Mare, but sometimes, she can be sooooo enraging! As we kept walking towards the Hay-Burger, the ponies around town either chuckled at me or praised vinyl about what happened with my mouth. I simply rolled my eyes and walked faster, avoiding all the laughing.
By the time we got to the Hay-Burger, Vinyl had charged in and had gotten in line, bouncing slightly with a grin on her face. As I go to join her, she looks me in the eyes with a mischievous grin across her face. I raised an eyebrow but she just giggled and I shrugged it off. When we got to the front of the line, she immediately started to order. What she had asked for was 3 Hay-Burgers, 2 Garden Salads, 2 Large Fries and a Large Soda. I tried to protest but I couldn't due to my mouth currently being magically sealed by one Magical DJ whiny baby!
I guess she had planned this all out from the start when I said I would treat her to a meal. This always seems to happen when I offer to do something nice for her. Vinyl is already 2 steps ahead when I offer to buy her something or show her a magazine or basically anything that involves me spending bits for her pleasure. I could never understand how she could be so devious and so annoying yet still has the power to allure me into loving her.
As we sat down, she finally decided to unseal my mouth so I could talk again. But before I could, she held a hoof up and ate one of her burgers first, making sure to barely chew and gulp in down quickly. She let out a large belch and giggled a bit. As she looked back at me, I was glaring her down in anger and a little amazement for what she just accomplished. She tilted her head and gave me a puzzled look to which I just shook my head and tried my best to smile.
"You know Vinyl" I start, "you really are stubborn."
"You're JUST noticing this?" She emphasizes with sarcasm, "WOW, you are oblivious!"
That made me chuckle a bit before I thought of something.
"Hey, wanna play a game?" I ask.
"Depends. What game we talking?" She asks, giving me her full attention.
"Predator and Prey. Basically hunt the other like a wolf does a sheep." I say, smiling.
"HAH! You know I would never hunt and hurt you!" She says, smiling.
"I'll just have to get you angry then. But not to angry." I said, starting to give her a sly look.
"Try me!"
"Lets see. Your mane is weird." I start.
"Heard it."
"You are immature."
"So are you!"
"Dubstep is horrible."
"WHAT?!?!"
As soon as I realized what was said to this Mare, I instantly regretted being born. I just told off dubstep to the master of it in this world. I knew that this was a step to far. I looked her in the eye to see pure hate and rage behind those red beauties. As much as I wanted to kiss her right now, I knew I had to run. I slowly got up and she was still staring right at me. I looked around to see everyone else in shock after what I just said to Vinyl. I looked back at Vinyl and she still had that same expression on her face. So, there is only one thing to do.
"Hey Vinyl?" I say, sheepishly
She growls in a 'WHAT?!' tone.
"Bye!" I say as I dash outside and start running towards home.
... Or at least I would have if it wasn't a pull door on this side ...
I ran straight first into the door and slowly fell backwards after being flattened vertically by the entrance. As I shook off the pain, I noticed a blurry white and blue figure above me. I thought it may of been some concerned pony coming to protect me from Vinyl's wrath but then I noticed another color, barely visible, but right on what appeared to be the figures face.
"Red..." I say, fuzzily, "... oh sweet Celes-"
I must have been knocked out after Vinyl laid a beat down on me. But, to be fair, I completely deserved it. As I started to awaken, I see that I am no longer in the Hay-Burger but in some sort of... Hospital... holy crap did I get hurt THAT badly? As I sit up and start to look around. Over in the chair across from the bed, a sobbing Unicorn is curled up in a ball. But, when my vision starts coming back to me, I notice it is Vinyl, crying out. I call out to her and her head darts up and she looks towards me.
"ANON!" she yells and dashes towards me.
As I wrap her into a hug, I notice she is starting to cry again.
"I'm so so so sorry!" She says, "I didn't mean to do this to you. I couldn't control myself! You probably hate me and never want to see me again and want me to stay away fro-"
"Its fine Vinyl." I say.
"You are probably sick of me an- wait what?" Vinyl looks up after clearing her eyes.
"I said its ok. I forgive you. In all honesty I sorta deserved it after what I said." I chuckle.
"Thank you..." She whispers, hopping up onto the bed and curling up beside me.
"Just, no more beating the crap out of the human. I hate hospitals!" I say, giving her a joking look.
"Aww, but you make a good punching bag!" She says.
"I know." I say, looking out the window, "It seems late, try to sleep."
"Ok." She says and almost instantaneously goes numb from sleep overtaking her.
"Sleep well, my little wub. And remember... I'll always love you."
I know she didn't mean what she did but it still was uncalled for. I doubt she believes me when I say that it's fine, so looks like I have to surprise her to show her I still care about her no matter what. Maybe its time to call one of her old friends and invite her over.
"Now, how to contact Octy?" I say to myself, puzzled.
When the morning dawn had finally reached the hospital window, I thought to myself why Celestia hates me so much and finds the perfect angle to blind me while raising the giant ball of fire known as the sun. It was the same thing every dang morning with her! Ever since she took my fist to her face when I first arrived here, she has done this NON-STOP!
I slowly started to rise out of bed when I notice a decent sized mound in the blanket. I lift it to see one snoring DJ underneath the cover, currently overtaken by the desire to sleep. I chuckled a little at the sight of the sleeping mare and gave her a small peck on the cheek which caused her to stir a little. This made me smile bigger than I did before. As I got up and closed the curtains, my stomach started to growl. I headed out the door of my room and to the cafeteria they had for the patients.
As I arrived, it seemed like I was one of the only ones there. Aside from me, there was the chefs, Nurse Redheart who loved to help out early in the morning and, on her usual morning walk, the mare known as barking mad who has been here since no one knows when. Don't get me wrong, Barking may be completely nuts, overall she is a kind mare. I went up to her and gave her a nice scratch behind the ears and she laid down to accept this gesture with a gigantic smile on her face. After I finished giving her attention, she licked my face and made her way back to her room.
I went over to the chefs who had been smiling at me the whole time. You see, I have been in this hospital a lot of times. Whether I get put here due to a Vinyl moment, getting rammed in to accidentally by the mailmare or because I am just plain stupid sometimes, they are always ready to take me in and care to whatever happened to me. Me and the chefs are really good friends and they are actually the reason I can cook so well. Every time I'm put in the hospital, they teach me something new. So as usual, I hop behind the counter and help them prepare today's meal and learn a new cooking recipe.
As we finished off cooking the morning meals, I grabbed 2 trays and started to pile one with a little bit of vegetables and a bit of fish and on the other with some pancakes I cooked along with hay-bacon and a glass of OJ. As I walked over to a table, I notice ponies starting to enter and grabbing breakfast. Whenever I am in the hospital they know that breakfast is going to include something I made and I made sure that there were enough pancakes for everyone. I placed the tray of hay-bacon and pancakes on the other end of the table and placed the OJ next to the tray. I looked at the entrance to the cafeteria and noticed a groggy Vinyl Scratch entering. When she saw her tray across from me, she instantly perked up and looked like she was full of energy... which she was... because she dashed over and started eating quickly. I instantly tried to spark up a conversation.
"So how did you sleep last night, Vinyl?" I ask, smirking.
"Really great actually!" She started, "I didn't know I needed a cry so badly."
"Everyone needs to open the waterworks once and a while!" I say, smiling brightly.
"Yeah yeah, you say that every time I cry." She says waving her hoof in a mocking motion.
"Can I ask you a question?" I ask, gaining her attention once again.
"Humor me." She says, leaning towards me.
"How about we have a dinner party tonight?"
"Hmm..." She starts thinking, "Alright, but only a small one."
"Sweet!" I say and return to my meal.
Ok, so tonight its a go. I just need to figure out who is coming. I honestly only wanted one pony over but a dinner party seemed nicer. Obviously Octavia is going to be invited because she is the one reason I asked for a dinner party in the first place... but who else? I could ask Roseluck and Minuette if they can take the night off to enjoy a meal but that makes 5. A dinner party usual comprises of 6 people... umm... ponies and I am one short... unless...
I can't believe I am about to think this... but maybe I should invite Celestia. It would be the perfect time to apologize to her and hopefully make even with a nice warm dinner. But inviting her means she would have to be free and willing to attend PLUS I have to find a way to communicate with her. I guess I could ask Spike to send a letter to her, but it is gonna cost me. But if I can make right with Celestia, I wont have to deal with the constant risk of nuclear sunburn! It's a win-win!
As I beckon over one of the hospital staff, he approaches me with a wide smile. I ask him for a quill and paper and he walks off to get my requested items. As he returned with the items in his magical grasp, I took them and thanked him before setting the inkwell and paper down on the table and writing.
Dear Princess Celestia,
It's me Anon! How are things up in the castle? Peaceful I presume. I am writing to inform you of the events planned for this evening.
And before you get mad and burn this letter, please here me out. I would like to invite you to a dinner party at the Wubzer Scratch residence tonight around sunset. It will be a quiet evening with friends and we would be honored if you could attend.
Signed,
I looked over the letter and gave it a nod of completion. A small, simple letter that got straight to the point. I tucked it away and continued to munch on breakfast.
It was around 2 o'clock when I returned home. I have already asked Derpy to deliver all the invites I had written in the hospital for tonight when I caught her on her mail route. She happily accepted, knowing that she owed me one for flying into me on multiple occasions. I was sitting patiently at the kitchen table, waiting for someone to tell me that they were coming. I know that they will just show up if they are coming but it would still be nice for a RSVP letter in advance.
I decided since I had about 5 hours to prepare, I should get to work cleaning the house since Vinyl was working until tonight. I grabbed the broom and dustpan and started to sweep the kitchen. After that was done, I progressed through the rest of the household and got every single speck of dust cleaned from the floor. After giving the house a scrub down, I put away the cleaning supplies and sat back down at the kitchen table. It was at this moment, I heard something faint in the distance. It seemed like wings flapping violently. It suddenly got really close to the house and suddenly I heard a large impact in the front lawn. I ran over to the front door and slowly opened it. All I saw outside was smoke. Once it cleared up, I noticed a large crater right on the door step. Whatever caused it though was still covered by smoke.
"Can I help you?" I look into the crater, asking like a smartass.
I started to shake as a pony stood up from the crater. And I kid you not when I say I wet myself at the sight of the Mare in front of me. What stood before me was the Night Princess herself, looking angrier than ever. As she approached me, I covered my face, awaiting a hoof to come flying at my face.
"MEANIE!" Luna screams at me.
Did she really just say that?
"Wha-" I am cut off
"You invite my sister to a dinner party but not me? I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS?! Remember that dream with the bed and Vinyl and you an-"
"LUNA THERE ARE FOALS AROUND HERE! THE SCHOOL PROBABLY HEARS YOU RIGHT NOW!" I yell, trying to get her to stop before she lets out my unforgettable dream.
Her eyes widen at this as she quickly drops the volume in her voice.
"We are sorry, but we would like to know why we were not invited to this dinner party tonight?" She asks, more calm.
"So let me get this straight" I start, pinching the base of my nose, "You crash into MY front lawn, destroying it in the process by the way, walk up to me, call me a meanie, almost give the entire school of foals something to scar them for life and ask why I didn't invite you to dinner?!"
"Yes!" She whines.
"Fine! You can come!" I say, annoyed.
She smiles victoriously and quickly flies back from where she came. But, from where she crashed, I noticed a letter on the ground.
Dear Anon,
I will be happy to attend your dinner party tonight. I must request the you invite Luna too because she will be upset if you leave her out of an occasion like this while asking me.
Signed,
P.S: I am sending this via Luna so that you may invite her as well.
P.P.S: I just asked her to deliver this and am adding this quickly but she is very angry. Enjoy!
"Why do I do things?" I ask, head down.
After Luna left, I headed back inside to finish the preparations for this evening. As I entered the kitchen, I made a mental note on what I needed to cook dinner and listed off what I had and was missing. It seemed like the only thing that I was missing here was apples. I decided that tonight I would make my famous apple pie for the group to enjoy. But that leaves me with the task of figuring out where I am going to get them from.
I could head over to Sweet Apple Acres but I may have no time to cook when I return. But it is still early so maybe Applejack or Big Mac are at the market. I look at the clock to determine how much time I have left. It is currently 3:13 pm. I have about 45 minutes to head into the market, buy some apples and head on back to the household. That should be plenty of time for a simple task, hoping that on the way I don't get hurt. I grab my coat and head on back outside, avoiding the crater in the front yard. As I head on the road down to the town's market area, I take note that the town is all calmed after what happened with Vinyl and me.
Approaching the market, I look around to see if the apple stall is still open and if anyone is there and sure enough, Applejack and her brother, Big Mac, were running the stall with business booming as usual. I approached them with a smile on my face and they greeted me with a warm hug. They asked how everything was and I explained everything that happened within the past 2 days. Their only reaction was falling on the ground and laughing like there was no tomorrow. I simply rolled my eyes and placed enough bits to buy what I needed. Applejack apologized for laughing and threw in a bottle of hard cider free of charge!
As I waved them off and started off to home, I heard a voice calling out to me from the distance. I looked around but couldn't see anything. But when I turned to walk again, I heard it again, louder. It seemed to be coming from behind me. As I turned, I noticed a gray coated mare with black hair and a treble clef as her cutie mark. Suddenly realizing who this was, a smile made its way to my face.
"Octavia?" I said, happily confused.
"Hello Anon! It is so great to see you again. I thought that you and Vinyl had forgotten about me!" She said, holding out her hoof for a handshake which instead, I brought her into a hug. She returned the gesture warmly and I felt tears flowing down her face.
"We would never forget about you. We have just been dealing with work lately and never really have time to spend with others." I said, breaking away from the hug.
"I see. Anyways, I received your invitation for tonight and decided since I was already on my way to Ponyville that I would stop by for a visit!" She said, smiling brightly.
"Wait why were you coming here?" I ask, puzzled.
"Haven't you heard? I left the Royal Canterlot Orchestra to finally have some time to myself. I am moving into Ponyville!" She said, beaming with joy.
"That's great news. Listen, do you want to stay at my place until dinner? Vinyl is working and will join us later and I need some company." I offer.
"That sounds lovely. Race you there!" She says and bolts towards the house.
"HEY GET BACK HERE!" I yell and start chasing her.
Me and Octavia spent some time catching up when we arrived at the house. We told stories about what transpired within the time that we were away. It seems that she had all types of adventures while she was in the orchestra. She even told me a time where Vinyl showed up after her show to congratulate them and then she apologized to me for keeping Vinyl to long that day. I waved it off and gave her a friendly smile, showing that everything was alright. As I got up to go work on dinner, I heard her following me, asking to help. I told her that it was fine and that she should just relax before dinner.
As I got to the kitchen, I got all the ingredients out and carefully prepared them. Tonight's meal was going to consist of Salad, potatoes, cooked carrots and corn. As I got the carrots and corn boiling, I heard a knock on the door. As I ran over and opened it, Roseluck was standing outside wearing a green and red sparkling dress laced with rose petals. I invited her in and had her seated until dinner. I could hear the conversation that her and Octavia were having in the other room about all sorts of things. I laughed and headed for the kitchen. After checking if everything was cooking properly, another knock came from the door. I opened it once again and this time Minuette was standing there. I welcomed her in and seated her with the other mares. Before closing the door, I looked into the sky and noticed the two princesses flying towards me in the distance. I waved to them to signal them over and they picked up speed.
As they landed, they looked at me with smiles on their faces. Both of them donned a dress to show off. Luna's dress was a very dark blue, deeper than her coat color, laced and trim along the edges with moons in order of astral timing on it. Celestia's dress was a bright yellow and silver, shining brightly in the evening sunset. It was laced with a nice orange velvet trim. I brought them both in for a hug and they kindly returned the gesture. They came in and walked into the living room. Everyone else had their jaws on the floor at the sight of not one but 2 princesses. I laughed hysterically and headed back to the kitchen. After everything was cooked, I heard the door slam open and shut, alerting me that Vinyl had arrived home from work.
As I called her into the kitchen, I hear hooves trotting towards me. As I turn to the doorway, I see a smiling Vinyl waiting for my embrace. I don't make her wait long as I pull her into a hug and a passionate kiss. She more than happily returned the kiss and put her own passion. As we broke our loving embrace, we discussed the rules of tonight. I don't expect her to follow any of the rules but I should at least lay them out. All I asked her to do was to be polite to others and don't make a scene in her own house. She nodded and walked off, going to mingle with the others. I set the table and called everyone in to eat. As they entered, they all inhaled the heavenly smell and stared at the source of it with bright eyes.
As everyone took their seats, I served everyone myself which got me a few lighthearted giggles, a few blushes and a peck on the cheek from Vinyl. After everyone was served, I went back into the kitchen and pulled out the bottle of hard cider Applejack had just given me and started back off to the dining room. As I placed the bottle on the table and sat down, I decided to welcome everyone again.
"Hello everyone, and again, welcome." I said, calm and collected, "I am so glad you could all attend the dinner party this evening. Before I introduce everyone, I would like to give a heartfelt apology to Princess Celestia for the incident that occurred when I first arrived here."
"What EXACTLY did you do Anon?" Minuette questioned me.
"I'll be blunt." I said with a blank expression, "I punched her in the face."
"YOU PUNCHED HER IN THE FACE?!" Minuette screamed, "WHY DID YOU PUNCH HER IN THE FACE?!?!?!"
"If you woke up in a strange new world and had someone poking you in the face asking what you are and saying you looked weird, would YOU punch the thing poking you?" I asked, being a smartass.
"Point taken." She smiles.
"Now, would you kindly introduce yourselves everyone?" I ask.
"I am Vinyl Scratch, Local and Famous DJ!" She says, causing Luna to scoff, "Problem, Luna?"
"PRINCESS Luna!" She raises her voice, "and no, continue."
"Very well" Roseluck speaks up next, "I am Roseluck Aroma, one of the flower sisters who are stationed in Canterlot. I currently run local one in town."
"Oh, I have heard of your sisters!" Celestia speaks up, "their business is booming down in the city. You all must be very proud for eachother."
"Oh w-we are!" She blushes briefly.
"My turn! I'm Minuette Colgate!" She starts, "Local dentist in Ponyville and all around awesome mare!"
Everyone turned towards her with a raised brow.
"Eheheh... umm... sorry." She blushes.
"That's ok dear, I'll go next." Octavia starts, "I am Octavia Melody, A once famous cello player in the Royal Canterlot Orchestra now retired to this lovely town."
Everyone gives a small clap. Octavia starts to go red. Celestia notices this and clears her throat, causing them to stop clapping. Octavia bows in her direction and Celestia gives her a motherly smile. As she turns back to face everyone, she sits up and begins to speak.
"I am Princess Celestia Sunwell, one of the three Alicorns here in Equestria." Everyone bows before her, "Please. I am not here on formal grounds. Tonight I am here to enjoy myself!"
As everyone brings their heads up once again, Luna clears her throat and continues.
"And I am Princess Luna Nightwell, the second Alicorn in this land." No one bows this time, "REALLY? YOU BOW FOR HER AND NOT FOR ME?"
"HA!" Vinyl blurts out, causing Luna to grow at her.
"Thank you for introducing yourself everyone. I will hold my introduction off because everyone in this room knows me. Now, lets eat shall we?" I ask.
They all nod and start their meals.
As we ate, conversation was at a minimum. Everyone was either enjoying their meal or trying to ignore Vinyl and Luna glaring at each other every two seconds. Though the night was mostly quiet, we had the occasional "Lovely weather" or "How was your day" from someone and it would be a pleasant response from the other. When dinner came to a close, I invited everyone to play a game. When they asked what game, I told them that when I went on my expedition before arriving here, I had packed a video game from my home world that me and my friends played a lot. When I read the label, everyone seemed to perk up at it.
"Mario Party 7" I said, pulling out my game system.
Funny enough, the game consoles they have here have the same hookups as earths consoles! With that it mind, I hooked up the system to the television located in the main relaxation room. This room was built for Vinyls DJ equipment and my personal library containing a good selection of fantasy romance novels. As I hooked it up, we chose playing turns. It went Luna, Vinyl, Roseluck and Colgate then the winner of that round faced me, Celestia and Octavia.
As the game booted up and they started choosing characters, it finally dawned on me what EXACT game I was letting them play. My eyes widened as they got to the first mini game. I walked over to the other room and grabbed my journal for a new entry before things went to absolute hell and massacre.
Dear future me,
Tonight you made the biggest mistake of your life. You have just put Mario Party 7 in the console and are currently letting your friends play it. I would like to award you on your stupidity tonight. Now, I have to go before things get worse.
As I put down the book, I listen closely to hear the mini game coming to a close. I cover my ears for the memorable sound that was about to be made.
"CHEATER!!!!!!!" Luna screams from the other room.
I head back to the room that was currently a war zone and home that things are not to bad. To my surprise, there is a Luna shaped hole in our wall with all the others looking out it into the sky. I join them and see a livid Luna. Oh look, she is heading straight for us... oh... oh no... oh holy hell.
Those were my last thoughts before being completely taken out by the whining princess. When I got up, I saw her and Vinyl in an argument. I went over to get a better sight.
"I DIDN'T CHEAT! YOU JUST SUCK!" Vinyl screams.
"NO WAY! YOU MUST HAVE RIGGED MY GAME... playing... cord thingy..." Luna trails off.
"Controller?" I ask
"Thank you Anon" She smiles at me and then quickly glares back at Vinyl, "YOU MUST HAVE RIGGED MY CONTROLLER!"
"YOU ARE SUCH A SORE LOSER LUNA!"
"YOU ARE A HORRIBLE DJ VINYL!"
"Ladies, calm dow-"
SMACK
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" I scream as I go flying across Ponyville
Questioning Love (Vinyl POV) (Part 1 of 2)
Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter. 