Mare-ated

by Roseluck

Rating: everyone
Tags: Dark, Roseluck, Octavia, Comedy, Random, Pinkie Pie, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Colgate, Berry Punch
Length: 2250

Roseluck Lily and Daisy narrate other ponies lives.

An excruciatingly boring day leads to Colgate challenging flower trio to go out and literally narrate other ponies lives.

This story is stupid, I suggest not reading it.

Published 2012-07-10 22:04:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-07-10 22:04:01 UTC

Third person limited

The sky was as azure as always, the grass was simply green, and the four ponies below were bored out of their minds. They all watched the cloudless sky stand motionlessly above them. There was no wind, so the trees didn't sway. It was luke-warm out, so the temperature was faint. No pony came by the flower-shop but Colgate, but she just stayed with Rose Lily and Daisy to hang out. Drool rolled down Daisy's cheek lazily and found a home in her coat. Each Pony sat on lawn chairs by the shop. They've been in the same position for the last hour and a half. It felt like a decade.

The sun shined beautifully as it should.

"I'm dying." Lily croaked out of her unmoving lips.

This caused Daisy to laugh uncontrollably. It wasn't funny, but Daisy's sense of humor became desperate.

Colgate noticed Daisy's reaction to random comments, so she gave it a shot.

"Oatmeal."

Daisy sighed.

"I'm pregnant" Roseluck says aloud in a monotone voice.

"The shock amongst her friends spread like wildfire." Lily said in a voice similar to an announcer's.

This made everypony laugh. Colgate especially.

"That was pretty good," Colgate admitted. Then she had an idea.

_________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________

"So....what do you want us to do exactly?"

"Rose asked as she stared toward the street."

"Why are you narrating me?"

"This is what I want you three to do, you should all go and narrate stuff."

"What kind of stuff?"

"Daisy asked, skeptically."

"That's getting a little weird."

"Lily said, uncomfortably. See? You guys try!"

"Urm......Colgate sat smug with the new challenge she's bestowed upon her three friends."

"Great, Daisy!"

"Rose looked around for something to narrate"

"Lily said"

"Rose said"

"Daisy said"

"Lily said"

"Alright, that's enough."

"Colgate said." The flower trio said simultaneously. The mares laughed and were ready to take on the new challenge of narrating the great tale that is life.

"Daisy trotted quickly towards the bar in hopes of finding a great story to narrate."

"Roseluck said, a smile across her face."

"Daisy narrated, as she did what Rose said."

"Lily...said. "

They all laughed again, but the didn't let the get in the way of the task at hoof. Daisy and her friends marched into the bar to find it virtually empty.

"Awww..."

"Lily sighed in disappointment as she realized there was nothing interesting going on in the bar....this sucks."

"Roseluck concluded as she narrated for Li...hey! It's Berry Punch!"

"Rose turned quickly in response to Daisy's information."

"Lily narrated."

"Daisy said."

"Rose said."

The three mares snickered as they casually walked over towards Berry's chair. Berry must've thought the day to have been dull as well.

"She wasn't drunk, but she was trying to achieve that goal with some liquor. Berry rubbed her eyes before turning her gaze to the clock."

"Crap."

"Berry said. She was probably late for something important."

"Oh, hey guys!"

"Berry said."

"Why are you talking in the 3rd person, Rose?"

"Berry asked, confused. Hi Berry!"

"Roseluck smiled."

"Daisy noticed."

"Why are you guys acting so weird."

"Berry was beginning to think the alcohol had finally taken effect."

"Lily guessed."

"Daisy said."

"You guys are screwballs."

"Berry huffed as she walked out of the bar, swaying that awesome plot of her about like it was her job."

"Daisy drooled."

"DAMN RIGHT!" Berry exclaimed as she cantered out of the bar.

Laughter consumed the fillies once again and their once boring day was now a hilarious adventure.

"Let's go to Octavia's place!"

"Roseluck proposed."

"Yeah! Great Idea!"

"Lily agreed."

"Rose said."

"Daisy said."

_________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________

Roseluck had picked the lock into Octavia's apartment. Vinyl had allowed Rose to do this many times before, so there was barely any crime in it. The trio walked silently up the stairs and towards the living room door where they saw Octavia playing her cello while watching...sports?

"Huh?"

"Roseluck whispered in surprise."

"Lily said silently."

"Daisy said under her breath."

"Octavia set the bow to her cello down and became engrossed in the sports program."

"Rose noticed."

"Daisy spoke."

"Lily narrated."

“Octavia leaned into her rather small television set to fully enjoy the program, and, as if she were at the stadium live, she jumped up in the air and squealed in excitement.”

“Hey, Rose?”

“Lily asked, taken aback at Octavia’s sudden burst of glee.”

“Why is Octavia watching a hoofball game?”

“Why not?”

“Roseluck answered back in a calm tone.”

“Quiet for a sec, Daisy.”

“Lily ask … Okay.”

“What I’m asking is, why is a mare like her watching a hoofball game? She doesn’t seem like a sports type.”

“Huh … I guess your right. Who are we to judge? You can continue narrating, Daisy.”

“Roseluck said.”

“Daisy narrated exasperatedly.”

Just then, a fidgeting sound emerged from behind the trio. It startled Lily, causing her to jump back and fall into the living room, alerting Octavia of the trio’s presence.

“What are you doing here?!”

“Octavia yelled as she desperately tries to shut off the television.”

“Daisy said.”

“Rose said.”

“What is the meaning of this?”

“We came to uh....”

“Roseluck searched her mind in vain for words...”

“Shut up, Lily.”

“Why are you three in my house?!”

“Just then, Vinyl walks in.”

“Did she really?”

“Roseluck asked in confusion.”

“Lily narrates out of turn once again.”

“Sorry.”

“What’s happenin’ up here?”

"Vinyl asked confused as to why all these mares are in her house."

"Heh, that was pretty funny."

"Vinyl chuckled."

"Vinyl! Cold you PLEASE show your friends to the door?"

"What's wrong? They can chill for a bit."

"But Vinyl..."

"Octavia whined."

"Daisy chuckled"

"Octavia's face looked really angry."

"Rose narrated."

"Ha! You guys are a riot!"

"Vinyl laughed as she allowed us in, Octavia fuming with rage."

_________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________

Just a few minutes later, Vinyl had decided to set up her gear and make a new track for her next gig. She played the song so everypony could hear.

"The loud, obnoxious noise boomed from Vinyl's turntables"

"Lily said, covering her ears."

"What ?"

"Vinyl stopped the music letting the record make that scratch sound."

"I-I said that the music was a bit too loud."

"Oh. I'll tune it down a bit for ya, hun."

"Think you can play some better music?"

"Lily asked innocently, yet very foolishly."

"Roseluck narrated."

"What?"

"I-I just think that you should play something not so....so....urm....crazy?"

"Lily squeaked."

"Daisy narrated....MELONS"

"I think you need to leave."

"Wha, why?"

"Rose complained...wait, why do we have to leave?"

"C'mon, Octy is mad enough. I'll talk to you guys tomorrow."

"Vinyl says reassuringly as she kicks us out."

The trio was still not satisfied with their efforts to narrate Ponyville. So the trotted towards the most exciting, chaotic pony's place to narrate her haphazard life. As they climbed the stairs of sugar cube corner in search of Pinkie, then noticed that no pony else was home. Pinkie's door was ajar and they can see her shadow. They snuck in and hid themselves behind a nightstand and observed the pink pony.

"Pinkie opened the dresser before her.."

"Lily narrated with quiet excitement"

"Daisy narrated, also anticipating the next narration."

"From her drawer, she pulled out a picture frame for what seems to be a photo of two older ponies, two fillies and a bright pink blob amongst the them."

"Lily said, her words slowing down a bit."

"Rose narrated, confused as to what's happening."

"Pinkie stared at the photo frame for quite some time."

"I'm so sorry."

"Pinkie said."

"Lily became uneasy."

"So did Daisy."

"I-I couldn't have warned you any faster. If I would have known,"

"...Pinkie began...to cry."

"What are we doing here?"

"Rose asked, worried."

"I'M SORRY!"

"Pinkie screamed...I think I want to go now."

"Yeah, let's book it."

"Daisy agreed with Roseluck."

"*GASP*!!! INKY! BLINKY!"

Pinkie 180 degree turns to the sound of the trio, a strange grin upon her face, her hair messier than normal, and multiple bags under her eyes due to anxiety. This catches the three way off guard causing them to try to flee as fast as possible.

"Be out-be out-be out-be out...."

"Rose commands in fea-ACK!"

Daisy and Rose are grabbed by their barrels and brought together in a huge hug from Pinkie. Lily hid beside a crate used as a makeshift table.

"I MISSED YOU GUYS!."

Pinkie's voice cracked a bit amidst her excited yelling.

"I thought you silly fillies were..."

Pinkie's expression changed so drastically from an excited (yet cynical) smile to a depressing, thoughtful pout, as if she were searching for the word that already hangs in her mouth just to delay it from coming out.

Fortunately, Daisy put a hoof on Pinkie's shoulder and gave her a warm look.

"We're fine, Pinkie." Daisy said calmly, wanting to play along with the whole predicament.

Lily found it hard to narrate anything. She sat back and watched in fear as the pink party pony fell into insanity.

"So, whacha doin' Inky n' Blinky? How's everything?"

"It's all good....we're just..."

"Roselu...I mean Blinky searched for words."

"Yeah, we're narrating each others lives. It's fun."

"OOOO! Lemme try!"

"Sure, go ahead, Pinkie." Roseluck said, nervously.

"Blinky said super-happy-happy like! Like she want's to help me bake a cake!"

"Okies, yeah, that works." Roseluck yelped.

Pinkie turned around to face her door, which was shut. She walked slowly towards it and placed her hoof on it, gently. She then walked back to where she was as if nothing had happened.

"Oh." Daisy said, uncomfortably.

"So, you wanna bake a cake?"

"Um, yeah sure." Rose nodded.

"To bake a cake we'll need need eggs and saccharine..." Pinkie began to sing. "Make some batter in the bowl you poured it in.~ You sing!"

"Oh...um I can't. Daisy - ffff - Blinky - no - INKY! INKY CAN!" Rose stuttered on her words in fear.

"Inky was never able to sing." Pinkie said seriously, with a scowl on her face. Pinkie then walked back to her door, putting her hoof on it again and returning to her previous spot. She did this as if it were a ritual. Daisy pretended not to notice, but Roseluck was curious.

"Blinky, you have an amazing voice. You always sang at the rock farm."

"Yeah, Blinky." Daisy said, giggling a bit.

"That's right....." Rose muttered..."I can sing....Now I remember." Pinkie, once again, got up to touch her door. This time, Roseluck asked her what was up.

"Hey, Pinkie, why do you keep doing that?"

"Doing what?"

"Walking up to your door."

"What? You're being funny, Blinky. That's strange. You're not normally funny. You're not being normal Blinky. You're acting crazy."

Rose shivered uncontrollably at the word Pinkie spoke to her. The words sounded casual, but each sentence almost hurt.

Lily eye-balled the door from her place of refuge to identify it's significance to the pink pony. It was an ordinary door.

"Why are are you acting so strange, Blinky, you never act this way, Blinky, are you sick?"

"N-No...I'm fine. Honest."

"Blinky, you were acting strange and now you say you're fine, you lied. You're a liar. You don't normally lie, Blinky. I think I'm going to have to help you."

"Oh, um I dunno. I feel fine. You know, I've just changed over the years."

"I don't like your changes, I'm going to have to fix them."

Pinkie walked over to her door and touched it again, Lily keeping a close on what could possibly be the cause of this. She found no significance in the door, still. However, she made a quick analogy. Lily has a cat named Pollen. Pollen always performed this ritual to show she wanted out. Perhaps Pinkie's insanity had turned her into a trapped cat?

Lily opened the door for the hell of it and, sure enough, Pinkie bolted out of the room in a mad scramble. Rose let out a huge sigh of relief.

"Let's get outta here..."

"Lily whispered." Daisy said.

"Enough. I wanna go home." Rose whined.

As the trio cautiously descended the steps of the shop, they catch a glimpse of Pinkie's silhouette stretching out on the floor from the kitchen. Lily peeked into the kitchen and saw Pinkie eating chocolate fondant by the bucket. Her crazy gaze was broken when the sweets entered her system.

"MMM..." Pinkie said in approval as she stood up and trotted merrily towards another room; as if no-one had been in her house. The sound of a chainsaw reved up.

"Run for you lives!"
"Lily screamed!"
"Shut up, Daisy!"

The flower trio retreated back to Colgate to tell her the tale of what had happened today.

"There was...and a....an then....chocolate.....and....CHAINSAW."

"Lily, I couldn't understand any of that," Colgate complained, "calm down a bit."

"Let's just go inside.." Daisy suggested.

Colgate remained outside alone on a lawn chair, sipping on a smoothy.

"Who said that?"

"Oh! Hello there, Colgate."

"Princess Celestia?"

"Yes. I've been very bored lately, so I've decided to narrate what you're friends have been doing for fun."

"...um...How'd that go?"

"I told Pinkie about it and scared them away!"

"Oh....That's nice....how'd she scare them."

Just then, Pinkie popped out of Celestia's crown with a chainsaw in her hoove.

"AHHHHHHHHH!"

"Colgate screamed!"

"Pinkie narrated."

The two pranksters then flew off into the sunset...

"Who's that?...Luna? Is that you?"

.....Yes, sis.