Some Things Are Best Left Forgotten
The gorgeous starry night served to remind Celestia how wonderful her sister truly was. The shining full moon, where Luna had been imprisoned with the emblem of a mare on it, was now blank with only the shadows of craters being visible to the eye. Celestia sighed. A blank moon was the only moon she liked. But it only served to remind her how Princess Luna had been forgotten over time, with ponies believing that Celestia had always controlled the sun and moon. But when Nightmare Moon returned, the fact that Celestia had banished her own sister for a millennium was forced upon her subjects.
Their view of Celestia, however, never changed. Even when Nightmare Moon was destroyed and Luna reclaimed her spot as Princess of the Night, Equestria still loved their Sun Princess. It reminded Celestia of a song Luna once sang while she was on the balcony at night, shortly before becoming Nightmare Moon. It was beautiful and flowed, as though the night air itself was singing it. Celestia had listened to her sister's lament about how she loved the night and it was the world's very best time, and yet all ponies ignored and shunned it in favor of the sun.
The ponies of Equestria should lock themselves away... to shun the moon and wait instead for Sister's sunny day?
Celestia had never realized Luna's unhappiness or how she felt about ponies sleeping through the night. But that wasn't the only part of the song that forced Celestia to rethink her position, and what she had been ignoring. It had been blind to her until after Luna turned against Celestia, but no ponies ever adored and worshiped Luna as they did for Celestia.
Why shouldn't they adore me? Is it not within my right? I'll not be overshadowed, mine is not the lesser light!
At that moment, with those solemn words ringing throughout her empty mind, it occurred to her that she shouldn't be even awake. The night was Luna's, not Celestia's - that was not yet another thing she wanted to steal from her sister. But as she laid her head down on the soft pillow, she couldn't help but feel a need to get out an stretch her wings, or at least get out to breathe some cool night air. The air was always crisp, cold and wonderful - that was something she loved about Luna's night. Her day could not provide the beauty of stars, or the quiet chill that went to the bone.
The guards in the hallways looked surprised as Celestia walked down the hall to the tower, the expressions on their face ranging from concerned to hard-faced. Thankfully, they maintained their stance and kept watch. The guards weren't meant to actually do anything, so them not running around in a panic was surprising. It was only odd because Celestia rarely left her room after she lowered the sun and the moon was in the sky, and this was a new experience for this group of guards. She continued to walk in her usual regal position, mane flowing softly in the moonlight. The courtyard was below, and it looked even more beautiful with the night sky shining it's light upon it.
Celestia opened the door to the tower, promptly closing it so she could be alone with her thoughts. With every step she took to climb up the tower, the more thoughts streamed into her mind and the number her body became. It was like a one way pipe directly into her brain, feeding it constantly with ideas that troubled her more and more. By the time she reached the balcony, her body was numb with the mixed emotions she felt with the exception of her face.
The night sky was dark, but bright with the glowing full moon and the light of a million stars. The air was just as she remembered from a thousand years ago; cool and crisp, and it seemed like it could just blow her troubles away in an instant.. but it couldn't. Celestia had always tried to stay optimistic about the whole situation, and really any problem she encountered. But was she really staying optimistic, or just pushing away her problems? When her faithful student, Twilight Sparkle, had become an alicorn, Celestia had told her that she'd displayed the optimism of a leader. The problem was, Celestia was never anything but optimistic in these kinds of situations. In the actual problem itself, she was angry and ready to lead. But in the aftermath, it was just a bundle of random thoughts.
"Don't be ridiculous, Celestia. You're just trying to stay composed for your little ponies." She muttered to herself, but Celestia's voice didn't even convince her own mind. The shaking, small voice that belonged to the ruler of Equestria was full of worry, anguish and regret. She had been the epitome of Luna's anger, and she could've stopped everything that had happened. Ponies wouldn't have feared Luna, and made her angry on Nightmare Night. She could've grown and learned with Celestia, instead of being forced to catch up so suddenly after her return.
Celestia's legs began to shake in fear and anger. She was the problem that could've been solved. If, of course, Celestia had stopped paying her complete attention to just her duties and had stopped to even glance at her sister, then all of the problems that Equestria had faced could've been prevented. It was never truly Luna's fault that she had broken the delicate order that they had worked so hard to build, because she had no choice but to give in to her pain and rage. When Discord had been wreaking havoc, Celestia was angry and she didn't want to think about anything else. That must've been how Luna felt, except it only grew after it didn't stop.
Come to think of it, Luna had never been told 'sorry', or 'I ignored you for so long, and I want to make it up you'. Celestia had never showed any sorrow about the incident except for when she and Luna hugged for the first time in a thousand years. It was never mentioned, never referenced.. it was like the incident didn't exist at all. All of Celestia's feelings and thoughts were bottled up and forgotten, since she had important things to do. But now.. even over those thousand years, she could never realize what she had done. There wasn't much time for it regardless - Luna was gone, and Celestia had to take over. Her duties had been doubled, and she rarely had time to get more than a few hours of sleep during those first years. Eventually she got a lot of help from ponies who came to work in Canterlot, so her workload was lessened by quite a bit, but Celestia still put all her thought and work into her duties. Raising the moon and sun, attending meetings, talking with her citizens, solving problems, there was far too much to do for one pony.
A few small tears streamed down her face as Celestia glanced up at the moon, remembering how she felt after she banished her own sister to the moon. Those few small tears turned into streams of unending tears, tears that had been held back by a wall but were now free to go. Celestia had appeared happy and kind to her subjects, but was truly emotionless. She blocked anything that hindered her, and now it was paying her back in the worst way.
She cried silently while continue to take in the night sky, and the bright glow of the moon. The moon itself didn't glow, though - it reflected the Sun's light. So even in the sky, the Moon did not have any light. It was only taking the Sun's light because it didn't have any of it's own. It was just like Celestia to Luna. Luna didn't have any love in Equestria, she was just.. there, in the shadow of Celestia's bright light. How did Luna feel about that? Did she still hold resentment against Celestia?
"Sister? What are you doing out here?" A mature, confident voice spoke behind her. Celestia turned around, not bothering to wipe away her tears. Luna had returned to the tower, and had a conflicted expression. She had not been expecting Celestia to be here, much less to be crying and staring at the moon.
"Are you.. crying, Tia? What is on your mind?" Luna came up and sat next to her. "I expected you would be asleep, as you usually are at this time." Celestia couldn't speak. Her mind was too crowded to give any room to talk to her sister, the one she had wronged so very much. She simply turned her head back to the sky, when she realized she was simply repeating the behavior that she did 1000 years ago. Celestia was, once again, ignoring Luna and focusing on something else. Looks like I just don't learn sometimes.
"You can talk to me, Tia. I'm here for you-" Luna was immediately cut off when Celestia began to cry extremely loudly and heavily, burying her face in her hooves. There was simply no stopping the stream of tears that ran off Celestia's muzzle onto the ground. It was as if they'd been held up by a dam that had broken, and there was no way to stop the flood. Luna did not recoil, or release any sound at all. There wasn't exactly much to do when your big sister is crying her eyes out in the middle of the night.
Luna did not want to try talking her sister out of it. Tia would only cry harder and make her feel worse, so the Princess of the Night wrapped her wings around her dear sister. They continued to sit alone, Celestia crying and Luna comforting silently. Luna was sure the guards probably heard what was happening, but were smart enough to simply leave them be. It felt like an eternity before Celestia, through her sobbing and tears, spoke to Luna. "I-I'm so, so sorry, L-L-Luna. I i-ignored you when you needed me a thousand y-years ago, and Equestria paid the p-price." Celestia began to cry even harder, making Luna's wings wet. Luna was a bit shocked, because she had been back in Equestria for a while.
"Tia.. you don't have to-"
"YES! YES, I DO! I ignored you when you needed me most, and I just kept focusing on my duties. Before now, I haven't expressed any sorrow or apology towards you for ignoring and shunning your night!" Celestia screamed, forcing a few houses near the castle to turn on their lights in confusion and fear. Luna, however, was stunned into silence. Tia had never been one to let out her feelings, and now she was doing it during the time she herself shunned the night. Luna never really considered it to be 'shunned', at least, not anymore. Her sister took care of a lot of duties during the day, and she needed her rest.
"I let your pain grow and I stood by and did absolutely nothing about it. Then, I banished you to the moon for what I did, truly. You may have become a nightmare, but I led you there and handed you that on a silver platter. I'm truly sorry and I would've done anything to go back and fix my mistakes." As soon as Celestia said that last sentence, it was like a weight was lifted, but another one was placed. How would Luna react to her apology? Would she forgive Celestia, or just look at her with a confused expression?
Thankfully, Luna smiled and chuckled a bit. "Oh, Tia. You know I've forgiven you for what happened. Even if it was you, I don't hold it against you because it's not your fault. You had a kingdom to attend to, and I only had to watch the night. The fact that ponies still fear me stings a bit, but it's not the pain I felt all those moons ago." She kissed Celestia on the forehead and wrapped her in a warm, loving hug. Her big sister was always an inspiration, but never such a crybaby.
"R-really? You'll take my apology?" Celestia asked, eyes red and puffy. In her mind, thoughts were clearing out and being swept away, leaving her once again with a calm, straightforward mind. Luna was caring for her as she had cared for young Luna, when they had an entire kingdom to rule and no experience with ruling.
"Of course, Tia. I would never hold such a thing against you. Please, come with me. I have a special surprise for you down in the kitchens.." Luna stood up and grinned. Hopefully Tia will feel better with a big, fluffy serving of cake. Celestia smiled a bit and wiped the tears off her face. The night air that Celestia held so dear to her heart dried the remains and all was calm in Canterlot.
They stood up and left the tower, ignoring the guards' stares. After they had passed all the guards and were walking in silence, Celestia looked at Luna again. "Luna.. do you still hold resentment against me?" She had been afraid to ask, but now was the only time she could. Luna stopped walking, and Celestia did soon after noticing. The Alicorn Sisters stared at each other, as though daring each other to speak. Finally, Luna spoke up to answer the question.
"That's a difficult question, sister. I don't hate you in the way I did when I was Nightmare Moon. I don't hate you for being more popular with our subjects, nor do I hate that ponies sleep through my night. However, Tia, I wasn't happy that you had never said anything to me about what we take care of together. It's just that.. a lot of the time, you get credit for things during the day, even if I stay awake for days helping you." Luna's face was emotionless, as though she was simply stating a fact that everypony in Equestria learned about.
"Luna, I-" Celestia began, and Luna held up a hoof. "Please, Tia. There has already been much heartache tonight, and I have dropped my grudges. I am not who I was, and I have learned much." A tiny smile cracked through Luna's expression, and she didn't bother fixing it. "Let us save our problems for when the time is right."
Celestia opened her mouth, then closed it. Luna was right; they had already been through a lot. While sharing your problems can help them, there is always a right place and time to do it.
Suddenly, Luna grinned and yelled out, "Race you to the kitchens!" She started to sprint down the hallway. Celestia smiled and yelled out, "Let them eat cake!" She ran down after her younger sister, laughing and joy echoing throughout the halls. Even with the darkest of problems, there is always a light to be had.
