Mischief in Equestria

Chapters

Aerophobia
Rough Landing
Mischief meets the CMCs.
Relapse
Mischief's Journey
Jamie's life sucks
The new tenants
Twilight's school of witchcraft and wizardry.
Homeschooling.
Forgiveness.
Male Bonding
Egghead VS Egghead
The First Sign.
Male Bonding, Part 2
Mischief And Kiana Go On a Date.
Mischief and Twilight Sparkle

Aerophobia

Jamie was awoken from a nice dream by his alarm. It was an old clock with a ringing hammer. It read 6:56 He almost decided to go right back to sleep, as his warm futon beckoned to him, but remembered today was his skydiving field trip provided by the high school. Once again he almost skipped it for his bed when he remembered his best friend Cole was going too, but his girlfriend Kiana would be mad if he didn't go. She had begged him all week to go. He barely signed up in time. He dragged himself out of bed, and put on some clothes. Nothing special. Just some loose jeans, a cap, a black shirt with red print which read, "don't ask me questions, i'm the pretty one," and threw his metal tags around his neck. He also put on a pair of red sneakers, which he had always thought fondly of.

He grabbed a sandwich, and took a final look inside his room. It was a white room. It was neatly organized, and decorated with posters, a soda fountain, a popcorn machine, furniture, and his xbox 360. He couldn't shake an odd feeling, like something bad was going to happen. Maybe related to his secret, but thought listening to Cole on the bus ride to the skydiving center would help it go away. He took a bite from his sandwich, dug his free hand into his pocket to fetch a coin, and threw it across the room into the jukebox, turning on a loud rap song, and shut the door. It was time to jump.

Jamie was right, Kiana looked happier when she saw him get on the bus. She was sitting by two of her friends, so Jamie decided to sit next to Cole who was sitting alone. "big mistake," he mumbled to himself. His Korean friend, clad in combat boots, black pants, a white shirt with black print that said in large capital letters, " CAT4 THE WIN!!", and a loose black vest. He too was wearing his metal tags. He looked more than happy Jamie was there too.

"Hey, Jamie!," Cole said energetically, "your kind of late, you know that right? Oh well, it doesn't matter, your here now! how's it going? There is a hole in the ceiling in my house! Did you know the Earth is round!? I lost my old boots in the cemetery looking for a shovel! There was a mix-up with my meds, and someone else got my Vicodin! I got a bunch of Excedrin instead!"

"Cole do you have the Excedrin with you?"

"Uhh, yeah. Why?"

"Because listening to you gives me a migraine."

"Ohh...," Cole said. He was quiet for the rest of the ride. The ride was long. It was cool, but everyone on the bus was talking at all times, and his headache got worse. He didn't realize how tired he actually was until Cole's bottle was empty. Uh oh.

When they arrived at the entrace to the center they were greeted by their instructor. He escorted them in. On the way they saw a large sign reading:

WARNING!! DO NOT WALK OR RUN ON RUNWAYS!! ONLY ONE CITIZEN DEATH HAS BEEN CAUSE BY STUDENT STUPIDITY!! COLE HAS BEEN THROUGH THERAPY AND WILL NOT HURT ANYONE ELSE!! HOPEFULLY!!!

"Hey they remember what happened last week!" Cole said with enough enthusiasm to scare the instructor, the class, and a passing pilot, who ran screaming, "I WANT TO LIVE!!!"

"You went through therapy that fast?" asked Kiana.

"Sorta. The therapist decided to use his vacation days after the first hour! Haven't heard from him since!" After a few looks from instructor, and class, they walked into a classroom. The instructor said this was "training" and would get them later. They were put through six hours of "training" which was basically a buzz cut ex-pilot yelling at them.

"OKAY! This is what's going to happen! We're going to count to three! One! Two! Three! Then you jump! There will be a cord to pull, but wait until the right altitude! OKAY? Let's go over that again! One......."

Somewhere Jamie lost interest. He could see Cole ready to explode from boredom, or counting to 3, and Kiana was writing a note to her friend. He took a nap. He awoke to see Cole giving his shoulder a shake.

"Jamie," he whispered, "wake up, we're going to suit up, and get in the air."

"Ohh, okay," he mumbled, "let's go"

The two got prepped with the other students, grabbed their parachutes, and got on the plane. When they got in the air, and at the right altitude, the instructor opened the door. One by one the students walked to the door, the instructor counted to one, then two, then pushed the students out. All except Cole who just ran and jumped out screaming something about eating clouds. Jamie then realized he was next. He got to the door, and tried to remember what he was supposed to do. Before he could remember he was pushed in the back, hard. He fell through the air desperately thinking about how to deploy the chute. He soon realized he wasn't in a video game, and the right trigger didn't apply here. He searched desperately around his back for a cord. A button. Something. To no avail as he saw the ground below, and knew what was going to happen.

"mother fu-" was the last thing he said before colliding face first with the ground.

Rough Landing

Rarity was working on a dress for a client in her boutique. It was a lacey dress, with a beautifully stitched matching hat, and a luscious red mask to cover the eyes. It was going to be used by a very important pony in Canterlot's upcoming masquerade ball. When a bright flash of light illuminated the workroom she was in. It was a bright flash, but it felt of strong magic. A kind of magic stronger than she had ever felt before. She HAD to finish this dress, and only had two days to get it done, but knew she wouldn't fully concentrate without knowing what that flash was, as it was dazzling. It was late Spring, and Summer was approaching. Rarity did not need a jacket so she went to find Sweetie Belle.

"Sweetie Belle?" Rarity called as she walked around her home. "Sweetie Belle are you there?"

"I'm in here!" Rarity heard she sister's voice from the kitchen.

"Sweetie Belle, i'm going out. I'll be back soon. Please don't dirty the house, and leave a note if you go out with your friends."

"Okay, Rarity," she replied, and with that Rarity closed the door behind her.

Rarity was looking around what she had thought the flash had come from, and stumbled upon a rather large crater. Upon further inspection she realized that a stallion was laying in the center, and he did not look well.

"Sir, Are you alright?" Rarity was calling from the edge of the crater. Not wanting to get her hooves dirty, her horn lit up, and she used a levitation spell to lift him out of the crater, and next to her. She heard Jamie give a moan. "He's alive," Rarity said to herself, both amazed and surprised. Jamie opened his left eye weakly, his right was swollen over. She tried to talk to him again

"Sir, are you alright, can you move? We must get you to the hospital!"

"Uhhh, what? who...who are....." Jamie could not finish, and he blacked out. When he saw the pony talking to him he just thought he was under side effects of Cole's mix-up pills. Dumb Cole.

----------------------------------------------------------three weeks later-----------------------------------------------------------------

Jamie slowly opened his eyes, and tried to sit up only to find out he couldn't. His body was too sore. he heard a voice from his left. He turned his head to face who was talking.

"He...he's..uhh...he's awake," a soft voice said in a whisper so low quiet Jamie could barely hear. He then realized there was more than one voice. His eyes weren't focusing yet, so he just saw a blur. A colorful blur.

"Fluttershy's right. Look, he is moving!"

"yeah, but barely. Look, he can't even sit up, kind of pathetic if you ask me."

"rainbow dash! don't say that. He was lucky to be alive when I found him. A very strong stallion if you ask me."

Jamie, after a few minutes of listening to the voices, was able to sit up, and see properly, or so he thought. He could see what appeared to be a hospital room, and six colorful ponies. He looked at them with pure confusion, still thinking Cole's pills were causing this. The ponies were looking at him now, with the same look of confusion. Except the pink one. There was also a yellow, white, orangish, purple and cyan pony. All female. Jamie muttered something like

"Dammit Cole, last time I try your meds."

"Excuse me," the purple one said, moving a bit closer. "Excuse me, are you alright?"

"Am I in a hospital?"

"Yes, my friend found you a few weeks ago in the bottom of a crater. Nopony has ever seen you around here."

"Wait, what? Where am I?"

"In Equestria of course. Where else," the purple pony looked at Jamie with pure curiosity.

"YEAH! Are you not from here?" The pink one was asking happily and loudly. She sounds almost like Cole, Jamie thought, And if she's like Cole the only answer to give is

"No."

"That's great! I know everypony in town, and since your new, I get to throw you...a PARTY!!"

"Pinkie, he's in the hospital, and he's only getting out in a few days." Twilight said flatly, "No party."

"Aww, come on Twilight, a party would make him feel all better in no time!" The pink one was almost begging.

"Wait, wait," Jamie was now saying. "Twilight was it? What's going on, why are you all ponies?"

"Of course we're ponies, why wouldn't we be?"

Okay, this is an illusion this is jus/" Jamie said as he rose his hand to point at the ponies, but realized he was a light blue, and didn't have a hand, but a hoof. "AUGGHHH!!!" Jamie screamed, startling the 6 mares. He turned the other way and looked in the mirror, and realized his face was also a shade of light blue and his hair was a medium long mane, a deep brown with a black stripe, almost like lightning. The line spread throughout his mane to his tail. Which upon looking at, made him scream again.

-----------------------------------------------------------5 days later-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Twilight and her friends made visits to Jamie every day. They were fascinated about his lack of knowledge of his surroundings. Only on the fourth day did he start talking reasonably, now convinced he was actually in a world ruled by ponies. Twilight had informed Celestia of Jamies arrival, and Celstia requested he be put in thier care until he remembered where he was from. Jamie chose to live with Rarity as she had saved him. On day fifth of his awakening the doctor said he could leave. Twilight and Rarity were the ones to see him out.

"Dr. Horse M.D. says you can leave the hospital now, Rarity has prepared her house for another," Twilight said. I have to get back to my library. I have to study. Bye.

"Another?" Jamie asked curiously, ignoring Twilight.

"Yes. I have a sister staying with me, her name is Sweetie Belle." Rarity said, also ignoring Twilight, who didn't seem to mind.

"That must be fun. Two sisters hanging out all the time."

"At times, I agree.....oh kind sir, what did you say your name was?"

This sent Jamie into a cold sweat. He didn't want to say his real name, and the ponies he knew had odd names,

"My name is...Mischief. Mischief Max."

"Well then Mischief, shall we be going?"

"Wait, before we go, do you know anyone named Kiana, or Cole?"

"I cannot recollect anypony by the name. Who are they?"

"Kiana is my girlfriend, and Cole is..." Jamie sighed, he knew he had to say it. "Cole is....my best friend."

"Well i'm sorry Mischief. I don't know either." That's when It hit Jamie. Like a .50 caliber revolver shot. A world without Cole....

"I think i'm going to like it here juuust fine," and with that, Mischief walked out the front door with Rarity with a smile that could break the fourth wall.

+50 internet points to who figures out the horse reference.

Mischief meets the CMCs.

It was a short walk to carousel boutique, and Mischief and Rarity talked on the way there, which both of them enjoyed. It was pleasant conversation. Rarity and Mischief were there before they knew it.

"So Mischief, do you remember how you arrived in Equestria?"

"I'm not completely sure, anything besides the most important things are kind of...blurry."

"Do you remember a profession? A special talent? I couldn't help but notice that you don't have your cutie mark," Rarity said, not sure if he would be offended or not. Mischief was confused. What in the world was a cutie mark? He decided to ask.

"What's a cutie mark?" Rarity was shocked, everypony knew what a cutie mark was. Well, he did have memory loss, but that still didn't explain why he didn't have his. He looked his late teens, and should have gotten it as a colt. She thought it rude to investigate, so she simply answered his question.

" A cutie mark is a symbol on a ponies flank that only appears when they find the one thing they cannot be outshined at." It might not have been the perfect explanation, but given the circumstances, it would suffice, Rarity thought. He doesn't need to know he should have gotten his a long time ago. it wouldn't be polite to insult him.

"So, these marks are like tramp stamp tatoos?" Mischief was wondering why ponies had to wait until they do something special to get one. Maybe the age system is screwed up here or something, he thought to himself.

"Pardon me Mischief, but did you say tramp stamp? I don't understand what you mean," Rarity was puzzled. She was fearing for his mental stability, but thought to explore it, "What is a tramp stamp?"

"They're ink pictures put onto a girl's back, right above the...never mind," Mischief knew he needed to change the subject before it got as awkward as that time Cole got his foot stuck in a noose above the school. Of course it was Kiana who put it on his leg and pushed him off the roof, but he blamed Cole for everything.

"So, what's your mark?" Mischief asked.

"It's a dipiction of three diamonds." Rarity replied.

"That's cool. I wonder if I ge/" Mischief started, but he was cut off.

"Here we are! the regal carousel boutique," Rarity said pointing with her fore-hoof to her house/workplace.
The sun was shining brightly, and the light bounced off the boutique to make it look indeed regal. Mischief was amazed.

"Welcome, make yourself at home. First things first though. We must get you out of that hospital robe and into some real clothes. Come with me Mischief. Mischief looked down and realized he was wearing a hospital robe. "coming," he said. Rarity led him to her workroom. She told him to stand on the podium, and she took his measurements. After a few hours Rarity had made him his own line of clothes, and a suit. Before they left she cleaned his mane, and he used the shower to clean his coat. He looked like a new stallion when he got out. He saw some assorted stallions' clothes. None really caught his eye, except a pair of red shoes, which reminded him of his old sneakers. He put them on, and went to the next room where Rarity was waiting patiently.

"There. You look absolutely gallant!" The white mare exclaimed. She then showed him the guest room where he would be staying, only to be surprised by Sweetie Belle, and her friends were jumping around and giggling.

"I thought you said you only had one sister?" Mischief asked a little confused.

"I do only have one sister, Sweetie Belle. She is the white one. Scootaloo and Applebloom there are her friends. I'm sorry Mischief, but they are quite a handful."

"It's fine. I love kids," Mischief said with a smile.

"Hi Rarity!" the three said together in a happy shout.

"Hello girls," she said with a hint of exhaustion. Mischief couldn't think of why she'd be worried about the fillies. Although, he didn't like the vibe he got from the orange one.

"This is Mischief Max, Sweetie, He will be staying with us for a while. Say hello"

"Hello Mischief."

"Hello Sweetie. What are you doing?"

"We're crusading!" Her eyes were already widening along with her friends. In unison they chanted, "We...are the Cutie Mark Crusaders!! Yay!!

"Hey! he doesn't have a cutie mark!" Scootaloo was now talking and pointing at Mischief's flank.

"Hey! Yer' right scootaloo!" Applebloom exclaimed as well.

"Hey! You could join our club!" Sweetie Belle was talking to both Mischief and the Crusaders.

"I will let you get settled in Mischief, if you need anything do not be afraid to ask. I will be downstairs," and with that Rarity walked out. Not wanting to get involved with the Crusaders.

"Ah don't know Sweetie Belle, He's a bit old to be a Crusader doncha' think?" Applebloom was puzzled. Scootaloo seemed indifferent, and Sweetie belle took them aside and discussed the idea with them. Mischief could only make out a few words like "blank flank" "chicken" and "he's really cool!" he wasn't sure if they were talking about him or if they were fighting. After a couple minutes their triangle disbanded, and they came back to Mischief.

"We decided, we really want you to join the Cutie Mark Crusaders!" They said together, smiles all around.

"Hmmm," Mischief said, pondering his choices. "I'll join, on two conditions. One, you help me get a mark."

"Okay!"

"And two. Don't tell Rarity. She'll be jealous," he said with a sly wink and grin.

+5.00 internet points to who can read the message below and comment FIRST.

If you are reading this, close the door. Close the windows and drop the blinds. Turn off all the lights. You just lost the game. Take your points and pick up what's left of you your pride. 5 points isn't worth it. it's not 500, there's a decimal.

Relapse

WARNING!! COMPLETE AUTHOR EGOTISM AHEAD!! COMPLETELY FICTIONAL!!

Back on Earth Kiana and Cole had just landed and were waiting for the plane to take them and the rest of their senior class up again. They couldn't find Jamie in the crowd of idiocracy, but shrugged off any doubt thinking that Jamie probably went inside or something. Kiana was more pre-occupied with making sure Cole didn't fuck up the plane, and Cole wanted to press all the buttons. Soon the plane had circled around and the students were boarding again.

"Look at all the shiny buttons! Its like all same ones from the last time."

"Dammit Cole, this is the same plane we were just on, don't touch that," Kiana was getting frustrated and was about to try putting Cole six feet under again, but remembered what happened last time. He had gotten bored and eaten the dirt and cement she poured on him. This guy is like CoD she thought. Annoying as hell, and never goes away. Hell, he'd probably eat a bullet if I shot him with it. Kiana was deep in a pleasurable dream in which Cole could actually feel some pain. Unfortunately that gave Cole the opportunity to press a large blue (red's too "cliche") button with warning stickers, and two safety locks. "Touch," he said. This caused the windows of the plane to seal over with layers of locked metal. The back of the plane was opening, and the students put two and two together

Falling=Bad Dying=Bad Parachute+open plane=Jump like hell

A red light was blaring, and the flight instructor switched the plane to auto-pilot so he could escort the class out. The plane was dropping at a fast, but steady rate.

"Huh?" Kiana snapped back to reality. She didn't have time to be upset about her fantasy cut short, as she saw Cole pushing the blue button again and again.

"Cole! What did you do?!"

"I am on a field trip."

"No Cole, well, i guess. Not the point we/"

"Ooh, more buttons! A lever! A FIRE EXTINGUISHER!!" Cole had already begun making his way to the cockpit, followed by Kiana. The pilots and student's were too caught up in jumping out. They didn't even notice. They were deploying chutes as soon as they jumped, or they probably wouldn't have made it. One student caught Kiana's eye. instead of a parachute, a bunch of socks flew out, stitched together, on strings. She knew Cole did something to it, but too busy trying to steady the plane before she ended out a pile of ground beef. Unfortunately Cole was kicking every button panel saying something about tickets. She wished she had those pain pills Jamie had talked about. She looked around urgently for any last parachutes, but found none. Shame. Dying looked like it hurt.

"Hey, Cole?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm holding you responsible for my salon bill if you get my blood in my hair," Kiana knew of the few things Cole fully understood, perfect hair was one of them. Something she wished Jamie did, and had. At that moment, the last of Cole's meds wore off. His violent, yet brilliant mind set to work. His eyes iris's glowing red. He quickly took in his surroundings first by noticing that he was about to die. Oh, Kiana was there too. Without his stupidity kicking in, he wouldn't have a chance at a full impact crash. While she was in the middle of complaining, Cole had grabbed her wrist and started running for the open hatch in the back of the plane. "Cole, what are you doing!" Kiana was shouting, trying to pull against Cole, but his combat boots gave him traction.

Right at the edge of the hatch, he swung on his feet, gripping Kiana's wrist with both hands now, pulling Kiana around him, and let go. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!" Ignoring Kiana, Cole ran back about ten paces, and ran back towards the hatch jumping out. Kiana was withing hearing distance now.

"Grab one of the students! Their parachute should hold both of you!"

"What!?!"

"Just grab!" And with that, Cole kicked Kiana in the back, letting her fall towards the group of students slowly gliding down. This sent him towards open air. He was falling.

AUTHOR EGOTISM SESSION OVER!!!

+20 internet points to whoever can tell me where to find a good store that sells combat boots, my left boot got ripped.

Mischief's Journey

I'm using a new writing style, with more spacing between lines, tell me in the comments if it's better or worse.

Also trying a serious chapter. Tell me how I do!

Nine days had passed since Mischief had moved in with Rarity and Sweetie Belle. He had gotten to know the other Elements of Harmony. Especially at that party Pinkie had thrown him. Cole would love her. He was so glad he was alone here. Cole would never let him forget how awful his dancing was, and Kiana would want him to actually talk to her and pay attention more often. His memory of the past was still missing so many pieces. Before he could only remember a few things. Earth. People. Kiana and Cole. But now he could remember more. Technology. Sandwiches. A plane.

"Hey Mischief!" Sweetie Belle was happily shouting. She was jumping on top off him. Mischief, who was trying to get some sleep looked at the window. The sun was just rising over the mountains in the far distance. It was barely morning, and a fillie was waking him up. He couldn't have been happier...

"Hey Sweetie Belle, what do you need?" Mischief was sitting up now, and scratching his head.

"Your a Crusader now! And as a Crusader it's your responsibility to help work with me and then we can get our Cutie Marks!" Sweetie Belle was now jumping around following Mischief as he went to get his shoes.

Mischief noticed that Sweetie had only mentioned him and herself, not the other Crusaders. `

"Hey, Sweetie, you didn't mention Applebloom or Scootaloo. Are they not coming with?"

"Scootaloo is behind on her homework, and Applebloom is helping Applejack on the farm. It'll just be the two of us."

Mischief didn't think much of it, so he agreed to go crusading with her. They told Rarity that they were going to be out for a while. Sweetie Belle added "all day" so Mischief wondered if it was going to be a long activity. When they got outside Sweetie pulled out a map from her saddlebags and started leading Mischief through town and out into some plains. Some clouds were gathering and Mischief wondered what sleeping on a cloud would be like.

The hike Sweetie Belle was leading was long, and Mischief got really really bored. He looked at his wings, and stretched them out. he was going to learn how to fly even if it killed him...or Cole. He could afford killing Cole. He decided not to test flying with them until he had some time alone. He also realized how long his hair really was, as it kept brushing against his shoulders. Again, he decided he would cut it in his spare time. After awhile Mischief broke the silence that had been building.

"So...what are we doing to get our marks? We've been walking for almost three hours." Mischief was getting nervous. They were going a bit far from town, and Sweetie's map wasn't what he wanted to solely rely on if they got lost. "What's that map?"

"Me and Scootaloo found this trying to be archaeologists....before we flooded half of Ponyville." Sweetie Belle said. "It's supposed to be the ruins of an old city, lost to the ages. Maybe we could get exploration Cutie Marks, or adventure Cutie Marks!"

"Hmm, that sounds interesting." Thought Mischief as he pushed aside a tree branch.

They were climbing up a mountain now, which was supposed to have this "cit." The clouds from a few hours ago had rallied into a full storm. Lightning was flashing wildly.

"Sweetie Belle! We should go back!" Mischief was shouting, but Sweetie could not hear. Mischief looked down to see that he was too far up the mountain to risk going back with all the trees down there. The rain had mixed with the mountain to create a layer of mud. If he fell in that it would be game over. No reswawn points. He picked up the pace to keep up with Sweetie Belle.

Read the next bit dramatically. It adds class

They only had to step into the ruins for it to start. They didn't have time to hide. Mischief just hugged Sweetie in a defensive position to protect her from lightning. A brilliant white flash came down with the force of the Princesses and stuck the single stone sacrificial pedestal in the center of the town. Soon above the stone was a mighty swirling white tower of power and lightning surged and twisted within. The energy made a loud humming noise that Sweetie Belle and Mischief Max could feel from where they stood, aww-struck with a mixture of pure concentrated fear.

Suddenly the energy that was storing itself inside the lightning-like tornado exploded, as the lightning bolts disconnected between the mass of dark clouds and the stone. The thunder clap emitted swiftly breaking the sound wave and making a noise that could have shattered the heavens. Mischief is a Muslim. Only adding to the fear that was carried through the two as a white barrier of light expanded in all directions. It surged fast, and right through Sweetie and Mischief.

Mischief Max's jet black chain of a stripe had transformed. Slowly, the tip of his tail glowed with the same intensity of the white wall that had just passed through him. The glow crept its way up through the end of the black stripe creeping up his tail, surging through the forks when passed. The glow then moved to the back of his neck, and continued until all the black in his hair was a glowing white. The rest of his hair remained its usual dark brown color. He walked down through the street towards the pedestal, passing wrecked building after another. Sweetie Belle was faint over back by the entrance to the ruins. Mischief noticing that the stone pedestal he was now next to was something unworldly. Something that could not be here, or anywhere. This wasn't stone. It was black matter.

DRAMATIC SEQUENCE OVER!! YOU MAY READ NORMALLY AGAIN!!!

Mischief's eyes began to glow the same sheen as his chain of hair. The storm had completely passed, and the sun was shining brightly too. The face of the pedestal lit up a bright blood red. The same color of his sneakers. This completed a portal. He dug his front hoof into the red and a bright red light shot straight up in the air.

Out through the top of the portal flew a unicorn mare, who went up over 10 feet before coming down with a crash. Unconscious. The Mare had large beautiful golden eyes. She was on the tall side, and had a black mane and tail.
She had a clean purple coat of fur. Mischief's eyes were only dully lit now as he broke concentration. he knew the fine mare, and would know her anywhere. It was his girlfriend Kiana.

"How did she..."

The portal was closing itself along with the pedestal. it was close to gone when a second pony flew out in a dive. This one was a stallion. This one flew over 15 feet high before falling also with a crash. This one a had wings though. Upon further investigation he saw black hair and tail, boots, red eyes, and a yellow coat. "Oh great" thought Mischief. "Cole's here too." Mischief could tell. He wasn't sure if where he was (Equestria) was heaven or what, but with Cole here, It just became a living hell.

CURRENT INTERNET POINTS

Chapter 2 - partial credit - +30 points - Matty-ICE
Chapter 3 - + 5 points - MischiefMax
Chapter 4 -

Jamie's life sucks

Mischief was staring dumbfounded at the 2 ponies laying on the ground beside him. The stone pillar had disappeared. Kiana was curled in a ball sleeping. Cole was mumbling something about cupcakes and knives, also asleep. Sweetie Belle was still passed out over on the edge of town. Mischief picked her up and placed her beside Kiana, hopefully as far away from Cole as possible. He didn't notice the six ponies running up the mountain discovering him deep in thought.

"Mischief, what happened, what's going on?" Twilight was asking worried.

"Sweetie Belle!" Rarity exclaimed, picking her up.

"Twilight, Rarity. You guys. How did you find us?" Mischief was pale and a bit dazed.

"There was a lightning storm forming over here recently. Rarity said this is where Sweetie Belle was exploring so we came to investigate." Twilight said.

"Uhh, thanks guys. Can you help me carry these two, I can't do it alone."

"I know a transportation spell," Twilight offered. "We better hurry. Those three don't look well, but who are those two?"

"These are Cole and Kiana..."

An hour later in Twilight's tree home. Mischief and the Elements, aside from Rarity who was crying in Twilight's room, with Sweetie Belle, and Applejack who was comforting her, were watching Kiana and Cole, in hopes they awake.

"So, how can we trust these two for sure, huh?" The cyan pegasus was questioning Mischief giving him a cold glare.

"I know them. these are the two I was talking about when I first got here." Mischief replied, his eyes switching between Kiana and Cole, worried.

"Are...are they going to be okay..." Fluttershy was asking. "I hope they're not in any pain."

"They look peaceful enough, Fluttershy" Twilight said reassuringly.

"And they came out of your portal," said Rainbow Dash. "The one that disappeared."

"I told you, It swallowed itself up!" Mischief was getting irritated with her. "If you want to go screw with Mother Nature then be my guest."

"Who?"

"Never mind."

"Hey, look! The purple mare is stirring!" The purple mare interrupted, hoping to prevent a fight. (see what I did there)

"Uhh, what is happening to me?" Kiana said with a quizzical look on her face as she stared at the ponies staring back at her, and the stallion sleeping next to her on the couch. "Please tell me I got drunk and this is the guy I had sex with. And now i'm dreaming that horses are staring at me." Mischief burst into laughter.

"Kiana, two things. Do you know who I am?" Mischief said between laughs.

"No...I don't know any talking horses."

"Ponies."

Kiana looked closely at the stallion before her. She knew this voice.

"Wait.....Jamie?"

"Uhh, no...my name is Mischief Max." Mischief replied as he saw Twilight, Pinkie, Rainbow, and Fluttershy staring at him. "Your boyfriend, remember?" Mischief gave a wink.

"......Uhh, yeah.... I remember now..." Kiana said. An awkward silence started to pass so Jamie decided to lighten the mood.

"Oh yeah, the guy you "slept" with, that's Cole." Mischief said.

"Wait, so if that's, and i got, then that means, AAHHH!! OH MY GOD!!!" Kiana screamed loudly at she fell off the couch. Cole continued to sleep soundly.

It took Mischief and the other four ponies over 15 minutes to convince Kiana that she did not sleep with Cole. During this period, Mischief took her aside and whispered, "It's alright Kiana. It's me Jamie, but i'm using an alias. We'll talk about this later, and we have to figure out how we got here." This was alot for Kiana to take in at one time, but she gave a nod.

"So, this is Kiana, Mischief? Your girlfriend?" Rainbow Dash asked, eyeing her.

"Yeah. Kiana, can you remember how you got here?"

".......nope."

"Great...can somepony let her stay with them?"

"I'm sorry Mischief, but the library isn't suitable for more ponies." Twilight said. Mischief thought he heard impatience.

"I...I can....I mean...if you would like to...." Fluttershy said. "There's an extra room in my cottage...but if-"

"Really? I can stay with you? thank you!" Kiana said as she hugged Fluttershy, who gave out a noise that was half a whisper, half a squeal.

"Okay that has Kiana set up, now what about-" Mischief started to say before he was interrupted by a loud yelling noise. Half monster, half pony

"RAAHH!!!" Cole had woken up and had ran outside Twilight's home breaking a hole in the wall.

"Is Cole-" Kiana started.

"He ran out of pills..." Mischief replied.

"Shit" they said in unison.

They ran out to get Cole, the 4 other mares a bit behind them. Cole was staring at the sky from the middle of an empty, but common town intersection. Mischief stared at him hard. He knew that something was fighting his inner insanity.

"The happiness.....the color" Mischief muttered. "come on Cole, be happy....." Cole was now frowning at the sky, and his teeth were starting to grind. "Shit! It's not working, EVERYPONY RUU-"

"Hi! i'm Pinkie Pie! Your Cole right, That means your new! We have to-"

"Pinkie, What are you dong?!?! He's unstable. You can't just-"

"Your mane is so pretty, how do you get it like that?!?!" Cole exclaimed. Cole had that stupid grin he had when he saw a haircut he liked, Mischief thought. His eyes were their normal color of jet black. He was back to normal, but was he the stupid Cole, or the smart Cole....

"I'm Pinkie Pie!"

"I'm Cole! your mane is pretty."

"Thank you!"

As Cole and Pinkie were talking, Mischief and Kiana were talking while Twilight, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash were watching Pinkie and Cole.

"I don't know Kiana...What if his madness breaks out again?There are no narcotics here."

"He'll be fine. Look at him, Jamie," Kiana said as she nuzzled his neck, "I haven't seen him this happy since you said he was your best friend." She was watching Pinkie teach Cole how to bounce up and down while walking.

"You mean when I lied about Cole being my best friend." Jamie said to her.

"You know you need him." She said.

"For what? Pain? Sadness? Misery?"

"You know he makes your life happier."

"Whatever."

"Hi Kiana!" Cole was somehow above and upside down Jamie and Kiana.

"Cole, how are you doing that?" Kiana asked, looking around.

"I can't tell you, it's a secret! haha."

"that's great Cole, but you need a place to stay. We have to figure out how to get back home." Jamie said.

"He can stay with me!" Pinkie said.

"Hurray!" Cole said.

"Kiana," Jamie whispered, "Are you afraid yet?"

"Maybe a little." Kiana admitted. she then saw Cole staring hard at Mischief.

"Wait a minute....Jam-" Cole started before Kiana's subtle kick to Cole's manhood shut him up. "Mother fu..."

"Hey Cole, it's me Mischief." If Cole figured this out, he was the smart Cole. Jamie thought. If not, he feared for his sanity.

"Oh, hey Mischief. Long time no see." Cole said. His eyes sharp with suspicion.

Praise Allah. Mischief said in his head. It's the smart Cole. If the screwed up Cole was gone, then at any point Cole would be kind and smart, or vicious and evil. Genius and Madness are two sides of the same coin.

The new tenants

Mischief, Kiana, and Cole departed to their respective hosts' houses for the night to let them calm down, relax, and get used to their surroundings. The three of them decided to meet up at the town intersection the next day.

Kiana's perspective

The walk to Fluttershy's cottage was long and quiet. Kiana tried to talk to Fluttershy along the way, but she was very quiet. The sun was about to set.

"Hello, I don't think I introduced myself. My name's Kiana, what's yours?"

"I...i'm flu....." Fluttershy whispered.

"Sorry, didn't catch that."

"I'm flutter....." She whispered.

"One more time?"

"I'm Fluttershy." Fluttershy had said her name in such a squeal of fear that Kiana heard nothing. She decided to take a new approach.

"Okay, you don't have to tell me your name...So what do you do around here?"

"I take care of animals..."

"Ohh, that's so cool! i love bunnies!" Kiana exclaimed, eyes wide as Cole's. (I have very large eyes) (i'm Cole!)

"Oh, I have a pet bunny named Angel. He's so nice."

The two girls then hit it off and talked about cute animals the whole way to the cottage. When they got there they spent the night taking care of animals and talking about themselves. Fluttershy learned that Kiana didn't know how to play patty-cake, so she taught her. (reference not intended...at all.....seriously....not at all.)

Cole's perspective

Cole and Pinkie Pie were hopping home to Sugarcube Corner. The sun was setting and the two ponies were talking and laughing the whole way.

"So your a pastry chef? I love cupcakes!"

"Yup! We have to make some another time! With two people, the fun will be doubled!"

"Hurray! This amount of awesomeness deserves a party!"

"Exactly what I was thinking! Your not too bad Cole."

"You are very pink."

"Hehehe, thanks!"

The two continued their walk to the enormous gingerbread house that almost made Cole's heart stop from pure shock and awe. The two spent the rest of the night making cupcakes, having a frosting fight, and then went to sleep. (Once again the cupcakes reference was not intended either. I have no idea how they keep appearing)

Mischief's perspective

Mischief returned to Carousel Boutique alone. Rarity was with Sweetie Belle back at Twilight's house. He grabbed a sandwich, and sat in bed, thinking about what had happened in the past twelve hours, and what was going to or might happen in the next few days...

The next afternoon

Mischief, Kiana, and Cole met up at the town center like they said and grabbed lunch.

"Alright, i'll say it. How did you two get here," Mischief said.

"I don't know Jamie. The last thing I remember is falling towards the ground from the skydiving plane." Cole said.

"Why am i not surprised. Cole fell out of a plane."

"Shut up. I did it to save Kiana. I couldn't leave her. That reminds me, what happened to you after I threw you out of the plane?" Cole was irritated, but in a happy mood since Pinkie was really nice. He also liked his food.

"Well, after you kicked me in the back, I fell towards the other people. I forgot to grab one, and I fell." Kiana said, embarrassed. "I think I died."

"Couldn't have," Jamie said. "This isn't the afterlife."

"Why not?" Kiana asked him, Taking a bite of her salad.

"This cannot be Heaven or Hell or any other afterlife because we're all different religions. Kiana is a Christian, I'm a Muslim, so the two of us could be in the afterlife, but Cole, your Asian."

"Athiest" Kiana corrected

"That too," Cole said. "Pinkie said this is Equestria!"

"Shut up Cole." Jamie said.

"So..we died in Earth" Cole said.

"Right."

"And that's how we got here, right?"

"Yeah..."

"So, that means that-" Cole started

"Wait," Jamie said, "That means if you hadn't saved Kiana, then you wouldn't be here, Cole."

"Sounds right."

"WHY DID YOU HAVE TO SAVE HER?!?!"

"Anyway," Kiana said, trying to calm the two, "How are you boys liking your new homes?"

"It's amazing!" Cole exclaimed, his already huge eyes getting bigger. "Pinkie taught me how to do all kinds of things!"

"It's alright, but Rarity's been all over my back about the whole portal thing ever since she got back last night," Jamie said, ignoring Cole, who was babbling on. "I could barely get out of the house this morning. What about you Kiana?"

"Fluttershy has a bunch of animals. It's so much fun!"

"Well, at least you two are settling in nicely." Jamie said.

A few minutes passed where Jamie and Kiana ate quietly watching Cole bounce all over the place, and appear out of nowhere. After a little while Kiana asked Jamie the big question.

"Hey Jamie?"

"Hmm?" Jamie was eating his sandwich.

"Why does everyone else call you Mischief?"

"Yeah, I've been wondering about that too," Cole said, somehow paying attention.

"When I first got here, I woke up in a hospital. I didn't know what was going on, so I made a fake name. It's as simple as that." Jamie said matter-o-factly.

"Oh, so it's too late for us to change our names?" Kiana asked.

"Yeah."

"Hey, what are we supposed to do, how do we et back to Earth?" Cole asked, head cocked to one side.

"Rarity told me about these marks that everypony gets when they find their "destiny." Twilight told me once that maybe that will fix my memory. Maybe when my memory returns, we'll get out of here."

"So we just find our talents?" Kiana asked.

"I know put talents though," Jamie said. "Kiana's good with motorcycles, and Cole's a bi-polar super nerd, or psychotic A-hole."

"There are no Motorbikes here."

"Great."

"Well, I guess we should all hunt out special talents and keep an eye on each other," Jamie said, "Cole, wanna try and learn how to use these wings?"

"Okay!"

"Kiana, why don't you ask Twilight to teach you some magic?"

"Sounds good." Kiana said.

"It's settled, we have to learn, yay..." Jamie said unenthusiastically. He went to take a large bite of his sandwich without realizing his hoof was deep in the middle of it. He ended up gnashing into his hoof so that it bled heavily.

"SON OF A BIIIITCH!!"

+20 internet points to whoever adds unenthusiastically to the fimfiction dictionary.

Twilight's school of witchcraft and wizardry.

Kiana woke up in Fluttershy's guest room to find a small bunny on her chest. She got out of bed and replaced herself with said bunny. After a cheerful breakfast with Fluttershy, she helped feed her pets. She then left the cottage to Twilight's library.

When she arrived at the library she knocked on the door. It was answered by Mischief.

"Hey Kiana," Mischief said, giving her neck a nuzzle, "What are you doing here?"

"You said I should come here to learn about magic."

"Mischief," Twilight was calling, "Who's there?" Twilight had walked up to the door with a smile on her face. When she saw Kiana the smile quickly fled. "Hello Kiana."

"Hi Twilight! I was hoping you could teach me a little about magic?" A large smile was on her face. It disgusted Twilight, but Mischief was there.

"Of course. Anything for a friend," Twilight said, a fake smile on her face. "Mischief, could you please come back later? This is hard work."

"Sure, seeya girls." Mischief then departed to find Rainbow Dash...

"So, Twilight is it? How are you?" Kiana was asking to be polite."

"I'm fine." Twilight was using magic to set the room for beginners magic.

"Why was Ja..Mischief here?" Kiana asked.

"He was here to talk about Rainbow Dash," Twilight said, anger in her mind. "He wanted to know how to get on her good side."

"Oh, sounds fun."

"Enough small talk, it's time to teach. First step to all magic is to clear your mind of all distractions." Twilight said. Kiana closed her eyes to help focus. First Twilight gave her a lecture about the history and basics of magic, which Kiana understood pretty well. This lasted about 30 minutes. During this period Twilight looked over Kiana, who's eyes were still shut. Twilight hated her. She was prettier that Twilight in almost every way, and this made Twilight very pissed off.

"Now!" Twilight said strictly, glaring at Kiana. She placed a feather on the table in front of her. "Enough talking. Hands on training is the only real way to learn magic. Imagine that your picking up the feather."

"Okay."

"Make it a mental image," Twilight said, her anger rising.

"Then what?"

"Now take that image....and move it to your horn, and focus." The feather was lightly shaking.

"Easy enough."

"Now project that into reality. It's a feeling, kind of like an emotion, but strong." Twilight's voice was slightly agitating. The feather was violently shaking, Twilight's own horn was glowing.

"Uhh, slow down." Kiana was puzzled."I do what?"

Twilight hated people that couldn't learn. That could be her pet peeve you might say. The fact that she couldn't stand Kiana pushed that feeling into further rage. She knew magic was a hard concept, and that she was rushing ahead way to fast, but she was pissed. The feather burst into flames. Kiana opened her eyes and gasped.

"I'm sorry! Did I do that?"

"I'm afraid you'll have to leave now," Twilight said, using magic to open the door.

"Oh, okay. When do I come back?" Kiana asked, but Twilight used magic to shut the door in her face.

Kiana stood in front of the Library for a few moments before walking back towards Fluttershy's cottage, head down in sadness and shame. That is until...

"Look out, oh SHIT!" Cole yelled before crashing into Kiana and knocking apart a water fountain.

"God dammit!" Cole exclaimed, getting off Kiana. "I'm sorry, you okay? Oh hi Kiana!"

"Cole you ass-, wait. Were you flying?" Kiana's mane was soaking wet. She wrung it out.

"Kinda. More like falling." Cole said as he shook off some water.

"How did you do that?"

"I have a rare heart condition. A side effect is insomnia. I spent the whole night training."

"And you taught yourself to fly?!"

"Haha, yeah!....sorta."

"Haha, you nerd!" A smile returning to Kiana's face.

"Why were you so sad before I crashed into you?" Cole asked, trying to get airborne.

"I think I made Twilight mad..." Kiana said.

This is about Jamie, Cole thought. "Don't worry about it, that nerd's always like that." Cole was thinking of 20 different ways to tell Kiana she was getting in a love triangle, but thought it best to wait.

"I tried so hard though!" Kiana wailed, "I thought we could've been friends!"

"I know, but give it time. It'll all work out. Sometimes nerd have bad days."

"Why don't you go talk to her, you nerds will have a lot in common." Kiana said grumpily.

"I don't think that'll work. I kinda...you know..." Cole was bouncing in place, Attempts at flying were gone. His wings were hugging his sides closely. Kiana's eyes widened as she figured it out.

"Cole..."

"Hmm?"

"You have a crush on Pinkie Pie, don't you?" Cole face immediately blushed a bright red. Bingo, she thought.

"Well, I, you know, I wouldn't call it, I mean, it's totally.....it's that obvious?"

"Your hopping in place."

"Oh..."

"Why don't you ask her out?"

"I can't"

"Why not?"

"I'm not good with women...remember Hayley?"

Kiana remembered Cole's last girlfriend. It was 8th grade and Cole and Hayley were very happy. They spent a lot of time together. Cole definitely loved her. Unfortunately Cole had ran out of Vicodin and he went into a rage. He had killed her. When Cole came out of his rage he saw the blood everywhere. She was still alive, barely, but alive. She cried, not for her, but for Cole. His last sight of her was her death. That event changed Cole and he never felt anything for another women again. Kiana was the only witness. It was a bond that they shared. Kiana felt bad for the poor boy. Jamie had never let that event go, and Kiana thought later that telling him wasn't the best idea. Come to think of it, Jamie's continuous relapse of that time for Cole might support his insanity.

"Cole, this is different...you don't have to be afraid..." Kiana had walked over to him, and brushed his hair out of his face. Cole looked away.

"I don't want to hurt her...I don't want it to happen again..."

"Cole, the only reason your not crazy right NOW is her. She's the only thing keeping you normal. Don't let her get away. I swear to Jamie you'll be fine." She thought using the word Jamie might not have been the best choice.

"I...I'll think about it. I need to think. Seeya Kiana," Cole opened his wings and started to fly off.

"That boy," Kiana said to herself, "He'll be fine. I hope." She then continued her walk back to Fluttershy's cottage, a smile on her face, and golden eyes gleaming in the sunlight.

Homeschooling.

Cole was awake and up is his guest room in Sugarcube Corner. He had been up all night trying to fly. He could get in the air, and hover. That was about it. He didn't realize the sun was high in the sky until a knock on the door snapped him out of focus, causing him to crash into the wall, then the floor.

"God dammit..." Cole mumbled into the floorboards.

"Cole? Your awake!" Pinkie Pie had entered the room to see him face first on the floor. "What are you doing on the floor, silly? Your supposed to stand with your hooves, not your head!"

"Thanks Pinkie," Cole said, a smile reforming on his face. "What's up?"

"Nothing, I just thought i'd tell you i'm gonna be super-duper-uper busy today. The Cakes have to go away for a few days and i'm in charge of the store and the kids!"

"Need any help?" Cole had slipped on his boots, and grabbed an ice pack that had come out of nowhere.

"No, thanks! You can do anything you want today!"

"I think i'll try flying...but i'll help you cook some other time!"

"Pinkie Promise?"

"Sure."

Cole stood there for about half a minute while Pinkie stared at him, waiting.

"What?"

"You have to Pinkie Promise!"

"What?"

It took Pinkie about 20 minutes to teach Cole to Pinkie Promise, mainly because he kept punching his eyes. By the time he fully understood how to Pinkie Promise, he had a black eye.

"Okie-Dokie-Loki, bye Cole!" Pinkie had then hopped of to go cook some pastries.

After a few hours Cole was confident that he could try moving while hovering. It was just basic physics after all. He opened the window, and stepped onto the balcony. He jumped up, opened his wings, and crashed straight down.

After many trial and errors, Cole managed to fly. Badly. At one point he jumped and flew as hard he could out of anger. He soon realized he could not stop. He saw a sad bright purple pony in front of him.

"Look out, oh SHIT!" Cole then proceeded to close his wings and forcibly crash into the purple mare and then into a fountain behind her, shattering pieces everywhere.

"God dammit!" Cole exclaimed, as he got off the mare, shaking pieces of stone and water off of him. He then realized he knew this pony, "Hi Kiana!"

"Cole you ass-, wait, were you flying?"

"Kinda, but more crashy."

Cole and Kiana proceeded to discuss why Cole was flying, but Cole was more concerned with why she was sad. Cole didn't like sad pretty girls, or ponies...

"Why were you sad when I crashed into you?" He asked. He decided to try and get in the air again, but was having trouble.

"I think I made Twilight mad..." Kiana said.

"I tried so hard though!" Kiana wailed, "I thought we could've been friends!"

"I know, but give it time. It'll all work out. Sometimes nerds have bad days."

"Why don't you go talk to her, you nerds will have a lot in common." Kiana said grumpily.

Cole's mind put two and two together. She wanted Cole to get in a relationship. Memories flooded of Hayley, and Pinkie. Cole had the urge to jump around. So he did.

"I don't think that'll work. I kinda...you know..."

Cole didn't notice Kiana putting the facts together as well.

"Cole..."

"Hmm?"

"You have a crush on Pinkie Pie, don't you?"

Cole couldn't remember much after that. He remembered babbling on and on, and thinking about Hayley. He was about to explode, or be very sad.

"Cole, this is different...you don't have to be afraid..." Kiana had walked over to him, and brushed his hair out of his face. Cole looked away.

"I don't want to hurt anyone, not again. There was so much blood..."

"Cole, the only reason your not crazy right NOW is her. She's the only thing keeping you normal. Don't let her get away. I swear to god you'll be fine."

"I...I need to think about it...I need to think...Seeya Kiana," Cole then flew off to find Pinkie, somehow flying great.

Forgiveness.

Mischief had woken up rather early. He decided to avoid another conflict with Rarity, who was still mad about the whole portal incident, and sneak out before she woke up. He decided to try and learn to fly. He had to find Rainbow Dash, but how? Mischief had no idea where she lived. He decided to ask Twilight, she'd know, and might know how to get on her good side.

When Mischief arrived at Twilight's Tree Home Library he knocked lightly. It was answered by Spike.

"Hey, Spike. Is Twilight home?"

"Yeah, she's inside. Can't talk. I have to go to Canterlot, official business. Seeya Mischief."

Mischief walked in to the library to look for Twilight, who was still asleep. Mischief knocked on the door.

"Twilight? You in her?" Twilight opened her bedroom door to find Mischief.

"Mischief? Oh, hi! I must look a mess, uhh go downstairs and i'll be there soon."

"Sure."

Mischief walked down and sat at a table. Twilight came down after a few minutes. Mischief thought he smelled perfume, it wasn't bad...

"So, Mischief what can I do for you," Twilight asked, batting her eyes. Mischief didn't notice.

"I wanted to talk to you," Mischief started. Twilight's eyes widened slightly. "about Rainbow Dash." The suspicion in Twilight's eyes disappeared.

"Oh? What about?"

"I kinda want to learn to fly, and I think I need her to help me."

"Ohh, you know Rainbow. Just ask for forgiveness, and egg her on. She likes a challenge."

'So I need to piss her off to make her help me."

"Basically."

"Alright, thanks Twilight. We should hang out later. Maybe-" Mischief was interrupted by a knock on the door. Twilight knew that whoever it was she wouldn't like it.

"I'll get it," Mischief said, going to the door. Twilight just gave a nod. When he opened it, he was surprised to see his girlfriend.

"Hey Kiana, what are you doing here?" He nuzzled her neck.

"You said I should come here to learn about magic." Kiana said.

"Mischief," Twilight was calling, "Who's there?" Twilight had walked up to the door "Hello Kiana."

"Hi Twilight! I was hoping you could teach me a little about magic?" A large smile was on her face. It disgusted Twilight, but Mischief was there.

"Of course. Anything for a friend," Twilight said, a fake smile on her face. "Mischief, could you please come back later? This is hard work."

"Sure, seeya girls." Mischief then departed to find Rainbow Dash...

He walked around town awhile trying to get airborne, by could only jump and hover for about half a second. He spotted a stallion flying above him towards Sugarcube Corner.

"Cole!"

"Aahhh hah hahhh...." Cole was crying. Mischief wondered what would cause him to do that. Cole hadn't cried since Mischief gave him a certain book to read. Mischief wondered how he was flying though.

After a while longer Mischief found Rainbow Dash taking a nap on a cloud.

"Hey!" Mischief yelled loudly, waking rainbow Dash up. This annoyed her, she was napping.

"What?!," she yelled back, flapping her wings and floating down. She landed on the ground next to Mischief, and scratched her head.

"Hey, uhh I wanted to apologize. We kinda got off on the wrong foot, and I wanted to say sorry. I was wondering if you could teach me to fly?"

"You? You want to fly? Hahaha." Rainbow Dash was laughing at Mischief from about 5-10 feet in the air. Mischief tried the other approach.

"What?" A voice of taunt was being used. "Afraid if you teach me, i'll be too fast for you?"

"Oh, You think that you have a chance? Against me?" Rainbow had her face close to Mischief's

"Try me." Mischief said, pushing his forehead against hers. A fire of battle in both their eyes.

After four hours, the sun was in a twilight, to sunset position. Mischief was sweating and panting heavily very high in the air. Rainbow Dash was also panting heavily.

"Getting tired yet," Mischief was out of energy, but hoped the Rainbow wouldn't take the bluff.

"Pfft, no. Why, need a nap?" Rainbow Dash yelled back.

"First one to that cloud takes the crown?"

"Sounds good to me."

"Three"

"Two"

"One"

"GO!!"

Both Mischief and Rainbow Dash zoomed off towards a cloud about 200 meters away. They were both fatigued and exhausted. They struggle to just stay in the air. Mischief was about 60% of the way there when Rainbow Dash got to the finish. After about five minutes of constant gloating, Rainbow Dash went back to find Mischief, who was trying to sit on a cloud. After a few failed attempts, he manged to stay on. Rainbow Dash sat down next to him.

"Your not half bad, Mischief. Nowhere near me level of coolness, but not bad."

"Pfft, I went easy on you."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, let's do this again sometime, later. My wings hurt."

"Sounds good. Seeya." Rainbow Dash then flew off to to back to her cloud home. Mischief laid back on the cloud.

"....This....is....AMAZING!!" Mischief yelled before continuing to nap on the cloud.

+45 internet points to whoever names the book, HINT: it's a story on fimfiction.

Male Bonding

Mischief was on his cloud, having a dream about him and Kiana, back on Earth. Back in human form. They were holding hands, roller blading, and laughing at Cole, who was in a cage in the corner. They were moving in sync, and having so much fun. He was talking to her.

"Kiana?"

"Hmm?" Kiana's voice was so alluring. It was dulling Jamie's senses, he brushed the hair from her face, and went in for a kiss. Before he made contact, Kiana's face began changing. No, changing wasn't quite right. It was mutating. It changed into a girls face who had large, violet eyes. she also had long purple hair, with a pink stripe through it.

"What can I do to please you?" The voice was Twilight's.

"Ahh!," Mischief exclaimed, falling onto the roller rink floor.

"Well?" The Kiana with Twilight's humanoid face was now sitting on top of his chest.....Mischief was freaking out. Twilight went in to kiss him....

Cole had decided to take the long way back to Sugarcube Corner, meaning he flew around for hours and hours contemplating whether or not to discuss his feelings with Pinkie Pie. He came to two conclusions. One. in the case of love, fuck logic. Two. Ask Jamie and Kiana about it. He was mumbling to himself in the clouds. He didn't realize that he had been flying for 14 hours straight, and it was about midday.

"Kiana said I should, but what if...Well maybe if Jamie...but he was so mean...." Cole said as he floated through some clouds, cumulus to be exact. What he didn't calculate was his face colliding with a stallion's elbow. This caused the stallion's arm to collide with his mouth. The two pegasi fell to the ground below.

"Son of a bitch," Cole said, rubbing his eye

"AHHH!!!" Mischief was screaming as he sat up, sweat dripping off his face.

"Jamie?!," Cole asked, dazed. "Were you sleeping on a cloud?"

"Uhh, yeah," Mischief said, wiping the sweat of his face. "Mischief though, remember. Why are we on the ground in the middle of the day?"

"I was flying that long..." Cole was puzzled.

"How did you not know that?" Mischief asked, thinking that Cole didn't get that dazed unless he was thinking really hard.

"Why were you whining in your sleep," Cole asked, equally as suspicious. Jamie wasn't usually scared, more confident. A few seconds passed.

"I think I might have girl problems," The two of them said at the same time. They both then stared at each other.

"Okay, this is weird," Mischief finally said. "Why don't we get something to eat, and discuss it over lunch?"

"Do you have money?"

"God dangit."

"Maybe someone will have work we can do?"

"Sweetie Belle's friend said that her sister was having a hard time picking apples," Jamie suggested.

"Sounds good, and apples=food."

The two stallions departed for Sweet Apple Acres, half the time flying, half the time walking. They also threw a few rocks at each other. When they arrived at Sweet Apple Acres they greeted by Sweetie and her friends, who were playing in the fields before the gate. Mischief hadn't even seen her since the whole portal incident.

"Hey, Sweetie Belle!" Sweetie ran up to Mischief and Cole, friends right behind her.

"Hey Mischief!" There was a huge smile on her face. Mischief knew she still liked him.

"How's it going?"

"Good! We're looking for snakes!" Sweetie said.

"Who's your friend," Scootaloo asked. Cole then calmly. walked over to her, grabbed her neck with his mouth, and walked off.

"Where's he going," Sweetie asked, puzzled.

"That's Cole, don't get too close," Mischief said. "He'll be back any second now..." After two minutes of Cole's disappearance, Mischief changed the subject.

"Applebloom, does you sister need any help on the farm?"

"Ah would reckon' so. We' been a bit behind on apple buckin' for while now," She said. "You can ask her in the south field if ya wanta."

"Thanks," Mischief said. Cole was now walking up the hill with Scootaloo behind him. Her mane was all tangled.

"Cole, where did you go?"

"I don't know," Cole said, genuinely afraid. Mischief decided not to question further.

"Come on Cole, let's go. Seeya girls."

"Bye Mischief," they shouted over the hill. Mischief and Cole walked to the south field of apple trees where they heard a dull knocking sound. They soon discovered Applejack, who was kicking apples off of trees with her back legs.

"Hello!" Cole said.

"Oh, howdy boys. What can ah do ya for?"

"I heard you needed some help out here, and we thought we could work out a deal. We're kinda tight for cash." Mischief said.

"Ah think that sounds good. We're due for a large order of apples by tommorow, and I ain't sure I can do it mah' self."

"Just tell us what to do."

"Ah need you to put these buckets under the trees, then buck em'!" Applejack said as she vigorously kicked the tree beside her, knocking down about 15 apples.

"This will be easy," Cole said. "I'm Korean, and trained in martial arts." Cole then walked up to a tree and stood there.

"Cole?"

"I can't bring my foot in front of my face." Cole said.

"Of course not!" Applejack said, "Ya gotta buck em'."

Cole then turned around and yelled.

"HAI-YAH!!" He hit the tree with his back hooves, knocking a bunch of apples to the ground, leaving two boot marks in the middle of the tree. "We'll be fine."

"Ah'll just leave you boys to work, leave the barrels of apples in the yard over there. I'll be working in the west field, and ah'll check on ya later." Applejack said, with an urge to buck Cole in the face.

Kiana and Fluttershy were back in the cottage playing with Fluttershy's animals. Kiana was trying to levitate a feather, but it was only twitching slightly. Suddenly Fluttershy gave a squeak, and fell to the ground.

"Fluttershy!" Kiana gasped, "Are you okay?!"

I...I don't know..."

"What happened?"

"I don't know...I think I just had a heart attack." Fluttershy whispered.

"Don't worry," Kiana said, hugging her. "You'll be fine."

Cole and Mischief began bucking trees in the field. Mischief was bucking quietly, but Cole was bucking somewhat annoyingly.

"Yah! Hai-yah!" After about 30 minutes Mischief broke the silence.

"Your having girl problems too, Cole? What's up?" Mischief was pushing a bucket of apples into a barrel

"I don't wanna talk about it..." Cole bucked a tree.

"Come on, man. Just tell me."

"I think I like Pinkie."

"Really? I saw that coming." Mischief bucked a tree, rolling his eyes.

"That's what Kiana said." Cole bucked another tree.

"What's the huge problem then?" Mischief then remembered. "You don't think that might happen again, do you?"

"I don't know."

"Come on what's the worst that could happen?" Mischief propped himself against a barrel.

"What if..." Cole set a bucket.

"No."

"But what if I..."

"What's the big deal," Mischief yelled at him.

"WHAT IF I KILL HER?!!!"Cole bucked the tree so hard a large hole had been bashed through it. His left eye glowed a dull red.

"Calm down dude," Mischief stopped breathing. This could get bad. "Let's not be irrational now..."

"Fine." Cole attempted to get his hooves out of the tree, eye still faintly glowing. "What do you think?"

"Why don't you just ask her out, you don't need painkillers here, because of her right?"

"Yeah."

"Then there's nothing to worry about."

"In that case, maybe I will."

"Good."

"So what problems are you having," Cole asked, ripping a piece of tree out of his hoof. He then walked over to the apple buckets. Mischief took a deep breath.

"I think Twilight's trying to marry me."

"Excuse me?" Cole tripped and fell into the bucket he was holding. "God dammit."

"She's been giving me signals, and I had this dream, and it got weird."

"How weird?" Cole was about to buck a tree. "Like, sock on the doorknob weird?"

"Kiana turned into Twilight who tried to kiss me then sat on my chest when I fell."

"The Hell?!" Cole got off balance and smashed face first into the tree. "son of a..."

"Yeah, it got really weird."

"Well, Kiana told me-" Cole started to say, but could not continue. He couldn't form the words. He heard the word "foreeeveeer, and he thought he saw A flash of Pink.

"What?"

"Uhhh, um, maybe it was a side effect of the Excedrin. When did you stop using it?"

"I've been here for months."

"Months!? You were only gone about ten minutes before I died!"

"Time shift issues?"

"Maybe your just really stupid?" Cole muttered.

"What?" Mischief said, annoyed.

"Nothing....Maybe you should talk to Kiana and Twilight."

"I think i'll just try to make it go away."

"As a male, the only thing you want to do with an argument, is make it go away," Cole said, picking up the apples.

"Haha, you got that right. Women are a pain."

The two continued to work for hours, passing the time with competitions, yelling, and wedding night jokes. Around eight the sky was darkening and Applejack came to check on them.

"Heavens to Betsy. You boys did all this?"

"Yeah, that bad?" Mischief said grinning.

"You boys ain't half bad, maybe you can come back another time?"

"Sounds good, but Cole broke a few trees."

"You bastard." Cole said under his breath.

"Ah don't think a couple busted trees is a problem compared ta this many apples, Applejack said, admiring the haul. There had to be at least 80 barrels. "Oh, your pay," Applejack said, placing a leather pouch of coins in each of their hooves. They said their thanks and goodbyes and left the farm. The two then flew off towards their respective hosts' homes. They knew what they were going to have to do, just not happy about having to do it.

Egghead VS Egghead

Jamie woke up in a large dark room. He attempted to get down, as he felt off balance. He couldn't move his arms or legs, as they were tightly chained to a large wooden and metal post. He realized that he was 90 degrees upright, and the large amount of hair in his face, was it's human color of sweaty dark brown. He tried to look around, but he could barely move, his head chained as well. He was also very fatigued. He could only see that he had bleeding fists and his red sneakers. He was a human.

Suddenly a set of bright white lights turned on next to him, illuminating a circular area around him. He could see bloody red tools, stained plastic sheets, and lots of unknown body parts. It reeked of fear. He heard a noise behind him, probably Stiletto high heels. He didn't like where this was going.

"Hello Jamie," A seductive voice was calling him.

"Who's there?"

"Don't worry, it's a friend..." The voice was so familiar, but who was it? "Now, your going to be here for a while, so make yourself comfortable..."

"News flash, I can't move." Mischief could only turn his head enough to see a female hand touch his thigh lightly, there was no visible weapon, but his thigh burned with an intense searing pain. His vision was still blurry, and he almost passed out, until the other hand slapped him in the face.

"I can't have you falling asleep on me, darling," The voice said. Jamie felt like every contact with this woman was ripping the skin off of him, and she was touching him quite a bit.

"Where am I? And who are you?"

"Don't you recognize me?" The voice sounded hurt, and was walking around the circle of light, to be in the shadows. Inches away from Jamie's view. "It's me, your girlfriend."

"Kiana?"

"No."

"Whoa. What the hell?"

The figure stepped into view, it was a thin girl with very track shorts, a thin tank top, and purple shoes, with metal soles. She had her hair in a single ponytail, and was wearing eye liner. Twilight. She was eating a strip of meat from his thigh.

"You are not Kiana." Jamie said, trying to shake free his limbs.

"No, i'm not. I'm better," Twilight said, giggling. "Now just relax..." She got down on her knees.

Kiana and Fluttershy were in a field picking flowers, and watching butterflies. The sun was shining brightly, and it was nice and warm.

"Look at that one!"

"Oh, that's nice. What's that?" Fluttershy slowly flew over a hill. Kiana thought she'd be back soon, so she continued to pick flowers. After a minute she started getting worried. She went to look for her friend.

"Fluttershy? Fluttershy are you there?" Kiana thought she saw a dash of yellow from the trees. She continued into the wood for awhile, unaware that it was now very dark. She soon was very afraid, and couldn't find a way out. she occasionally heard a quiet laugh, leaves rustle or a tree branch snap. At one point she passed under a tree and a raindrop fell on her.

"Is it raining?" She then looked up to realize that it wasn't rain, but blood. "Fluttershy?" Kiana's gold eyes quivering. She saw her friend hanging above her, blood dripping all over her face. "No..."

"Yes," a sadistic voice said with a laugh.

"Who's there," Kiana's nervous voice echoing throughout the forest.

"Someone who envies you."

"...Mom?" Kiana only had time to say before a rustle of leaves before she started turning in circles. She was too afraid to wipe her friends blood from her face, or the stalker might get her. Unfortunately she couldn't see otherwise. She quickly moved her front hoof to her face to see a knife before her when her vision cleared.

"AUGGHH!!!" Kiana and Mischief both screamed at they sat up in their beds. Both were breathing heavily and sweat covering their brows. These were those times they wished they didn't sleep like Cole.

Cole decided to pay Twilight a visit. She was causing his best friend some trouble, so maybe he could help. He wasn't near the library, as he never went back to Sugarcube Corner, so he flew there. On the way he met Kiana, at Fluttershy's house. e gave her some shots, and continued his travel.

He arrived at Twilight's house and knocked on the door. It was answered by her shortly.

"Hello," Cole said.

"Hello, your Mischief's friend, Cole right?" Twilight was smiling brightly. No way she could be evil.

"Yeah i'm Cole." Cole returned the smile.

"Oh, where are my manners? Come on in." Cole followed Twilight into a large bookshelf filled room. She came in with tea and scones. She offered Cole some,which he accepted.

"Lovely library Twilight, I love books."

"Thank you, I too enjoy reading," Twilight said. "So Cole, what do I owe the visit?"

"Uhh yeah, I just wanted to thank you for keeping Mischief company while he's been here."

"Any time. He's a lot of fun." Twilight new Cole was avoiding something.

"Yeah." The two then progressed through a long conversation. Cole was trying to learn if Twilight really did like Mischief, and Twilight wanted to figure out what Cole was hiding.

"Truth or dare?" Twilight decided to test him. Cole saw this coming. This had just turned into a game of wits.

"Truth."

"What's your speciality?"

"Violence, being a genius, and i've been told my mane is amazing. Truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"What inspired you to be a librarian?"

"I'm not. I'm Princess Celestia's personal student, and I research friendship."

After a little while the two didn't even need to ask truth or dare; they just took turns asking and answering questions. They could tell from expressions, body language, voice tone, and much more to read the others mind. It was only a matter of time...

"Brigadier general grade two in Halo Reach. Normal hair color?"

"Yes. Are you always so self-centered."

"Wouldn't be so amazing if I wasn't, but I prefer egotistic."

This process carried on for hours. This had turned into some sort of insane contest, and both of them loved it. Twilight went through gallons of tea, and Cole really likes those scones. The sun was well past high noon by the time they had collected all their facts.

"You sleep on the right side most often," Cole inspected.

"You can't stand that Mischief doesn't like you," Twilight said with a smirk.

"You have a strong bond with the Princess."

"You have a mentally unstable side I can't seem to read." Twilight was good. Cole decided to step it up.

"You wish you could be like Mischief's girlfriend." Twilight's eyes widened slightly.

Twilight used her trump card. "You love Pinkie Pie." It was Cole's turn to get scared.

"You love Mischief." Cole had resorted to pulling out his ace. Twilight was hitting a wall. She stared into Cole's sharp black eyes, and knew she was beat.

"You win."

"Damn right I win," Cole leaned back in the chair.

"Can you...can you not tell Mischief that I like him?"

"Twilight, the problem is that Mischief has been getting nightmares about you," Cole said, scratching his head. " I think he already knows."

"Oh no...You must have told him!" Twilight was suddenly mad.

"Woah, what? No I didn't," Cole said, a bit bewildered.

"He can't just know, it's scientifically impossible! Dreams can't do that!"

"Yeah, and my mane shouldn't be this amazing either, but it is!"

"You? Amazing? Ha!" Twilight stood up and yelled at Cole. She sounded like Rainbow Dash. "You being amazing is about the same chance of Rarity swimming in dirt!"

"Magic shouldn't exist either!" Both Cole and Twilight were standing now, yelling right next to each other.

"I can prove magic, want a blast?"

"You don't have the guts."

"Wanna test it?!"

"Wanna test my new kicking skills?!" Cole's eyes dully glowed.

"Wanna test 200 books to the face?!"

"Are you as attracted to me as I am to you right now!?"

"Why did you even have to ask," Twilight embraced Cole in a kiss, which Cole was not completely expecting, but he enjoyed it. Twilight's tongue penetrated Cole's mouth, and swirled around with Cole's own tongue. The kiss lasted for several seconds before Cole broke away, a long string of saliva connecting the two ponies' mouths. Twilight and Cole both were blushing heavily.

"I, I'm sorry," Twilight apologized, "I didn't mean to, I was just-"

"Just come here already," Cole beckoned to her already walking to the bedroom.

Yes, that just happened. I made a bet, and I lost that bet. This is the result. I'm not a fan of romance, so i'm not going in depth with this part.

25 internet point to whoever can name the reference to Jamie's nightmare.

The First Sign.

Kiana had been with Fluttershy yesterday when she mysteriously had some some of heart attack while Cole and Jamie were bucking trees, particularly when Cole bucked steaming boot marks into the first tree. Since then Fluttershy had laid down, and stayed in bed all night. Now it was the next day, and Fluttershy was still not well.

It was about two P.M., and after waking from a horrible nightmare Kiana was practicing magic downstairs, but not to much luck. She was only getting a headache. She remembered that Fluttershy hadn't come downstairs since last afternoon. She went to the bottom of the staircase.

"Fluttershy?" Kiana was calling from downstairs, "Are you okay Fluttershy?" When Kiana received no reply, she got worried. "Fluttershy, i'm coming upstairs."

Kiana walked up the stairs to see Fluttershy panting heavily in her bed. Her mane was a mess, her brow hot, and her coat covered in red sores.

"Oh no..." Kiana removed the blanket from fluttershy and spread her on her back, inspecting her. She didn't look good at all.

"Fluttershy, we have to get you to a hospital!" Kiana said as she tried getting Fluttershy on her hooves, but Fluttershy wouldn't move.

"Okay, the hospital can't come her because there aren't any phones, and I can't get Fluttershy out of bed," Kiana thought aloud. "Oh, what would that nerd Cole, or Jamie do?"

A mental image of Mischief formed in Kiana's mind.

"Try using magic to float her out?" The fake Mischief said.

"No...I can;t use magic!"

The mental Cole moved into Mischief's spot.

"We're going to need a cane, my Vicodin, a sweet beard, and size eleven Nike Lunar fly sneakers."

"Dammit Cole, stop watching House, that show ended months ago!" Kiana yelled at herself, but the mental Cole yelled back.

"You can't stop Hugh Laurie!!!"

"Go away Cole!" Cole faded away.

Kiana then decided her friends wouldn't be able to help. She briefly considered Twilight Sparkle to help her, but she quickly struck that idea down. She knew that she couldn't leave Fluttershy alone, so she had to heal her on her own.

"Okay, think Kiana, your a strong woman, and you can do this by yourself...Wait, no i'm not. I can't do this!"

While Kiana was crying over Fluttershy's impending demise, a small white rabbit hooped up to her with a book in it's paws. It used it's foot to thump on Kiana's leg.

"Hmm? Oh Angel, what's this?" Kiana picked up the book, which had a page bookmarked. She opened it up to see a description of a disease called the Pony Pox. She looked between the symptoms described on paper and at Fluttershy, who matched the description perfectly. She looked further into the book to find a cure.

Unfortunately the only known cures involved a lot of bloody surgery or a large amount of magic. She wasn't a sadist like Cole, so she couldn't cut open her friend. Also, she didn't know any magic...or did she?

Kiana walked up to Fluttershy and focused. She used the Twilight's advice from their...brief lesson. She pictured herself...

"Wait," Kiana thought, :What the hell am I supposed to be doing?"

Kiana knew that it was pointless. Fluttershy was going to die, and there was nothing she could do about it. Nothing at all. The thought made her cry. Her new friend was going to die in front of her, and there was nothing she could do about it.

suddenly she remembered Cole's anniversary present for her and Mischief.

"Happy anniversary Kiana!"

"Thanks Cole," Kiana said as she opened a small black box, revealing three small self inject hypodermic needles, filled with a glowing blue liquid.

"What are these?"

"Special formula, these are special shots of a secret elixar that-"

"Is is a drug?"

"No. Let's just say it has remarkable effects, and can bring back anyone as long as they still have a heart, and a brain."

"Uhh, thanks Cole."

Kiana stashed the small box in her jacket, not knowing when she'd need it.

Kiana wished she still had those shots, but unfortunately, she didn't have a jacket. Luckily, with cartoon T.V. show luck, Cole was flying past the cottage outside. She opened the window and yelled at him.

"Cole, get in here NOW!!"

Cole stopped flying, "No! I'm...in a hurry somewhere! What do you need!?"

"Your in a hurry in the morning? Never mind, I need some of you shots! The ones you gave me for my dating anniversary!"

"Really? Okay!" Cole then reached into his mane and pulled out a gun, and a small black box. He threw the box at Kiana. "Catch!"

Kiana grabbed the box, "Thanks! Why do you have a gun?!?! That's illegal," she yelled.

"Shut up!!!" Cole yelled in a very loud tone, "YOU'LL WAKE THE DAMN NEIGHBORS!!!!" He then ran off towards Twilight's house.

Kiana closed the window, and opened the box. She carefully took out a syringe and looked at the liquid. She looked at a small instruction paper on the roof of the inside of the box.

Step 1. Remove safety cap.

Step 2. Quickly and heavily stab into victim's patient's chest, over the heart. (the word victim was crossed out.)

Step 3. Run.

Kiana took a deep breath, and plunged the needle into Fluttershy's chest.

Kiana waited...and waited...and waited. She knew that it wasn't working, and she started crying. Suddenly Fluttershy let out an ear piercing, no. Ear shattering scream. She got up, screamed again, and ran into the opposite wall, face first.

"Fluttershy!" Kiana bounded across the room and hugged her friend, who was still seizing wildly. After about an hour Fluttershy was back to normal, in the Ponyville hospital.

"So, I had the Pony Pox?"

"Yeah, so I sta...injected you with a cure I got from Cole."

"Is that how you got your Cutie Mark?"

"What?!" Kiana turned around to see a symbol on her flank. It was a red hospital cross, with a syringe crossing diagonally over it. The syringe was filled with a glowing blue liquid.

"Oh, great. Cole is responsible for my Cutie Mark. I'm going to to jump off a cliff."

Male Bonding, Part 2

"Howdy Mischief!" Applejack was calling from inside the barn. Mischief walked in.

"Hey Applejack."

It was the morning after Fluttershy's hospitalization, and the Cole/Twilight confrontation. Mischief had come to Sweet Apple Acres to start his shift, as he and Cole came here on weekdays to buck Apples, plant crops, and other things. The seasons in Equestria were so strange.

"Where's Cole?" Applejack asked.

"I went to Sugarcube Corner, but Pinkie said he never went home last night." Mischief said as he propped himself against a barrel.

"Really? How strange."

"Not really, Cole doesn't sleep, so he wanders like an idiot at night."

"Oh, well if ya see im, put him ta work. I hope he's alright. You boys are a great help here on the farm...Well, your gonna be bucking deep out East, see? I won't be joining you. I'm not feeling all to well."

"Alright," Mischief said as he started walking for the door. As he started to walk towards the deep East, he saw Sweetie Belle and her friends hopping around Big Mac as he was walking.

"Hey Bic Mac!" The fillies were cheering. "Can we help you fix the old Apple cellar?"

"Yee-up."

Mischief was peacefully bucking trees, getting into a repetitive bucking, replacing, and storing motion. Right before his lunch break Cole flew through a large amount of trees, ripping them from the ground by the roots. He landed heavily on the ground in front of Mischief, who was laying against a tree, eating a sandwich. Cole was sweating heavily, hair and tail a mess. His eyes were black, but his right eye was twitching. He looked horrible.

"JAMIE!!!" Cole shouted in a voice that rivaled the royal Canterlot voice.

"What?!" Mischief was shocked, "Cole, it's Mischief."

"THIS ISN'T THE TIME!!!"

"Calm down dude, what's the problem?" Mischief was becoming unamused. Cole and time were either mortal enemies, or best friends.

"TAKE A FUCKING SEAT!!!"

"It can't be that bad. What, did you ask out Pinkie? Hahaha"

"I HAD SEX WITH TWILIGHT!!!"

"HOLY SHIT, DUDE!!" Mischief was now also using a tone similar to the royal Canterlot voice. "Augh!"

"I know!"

"It's horrible!"

"Augh!"

"Oh my god!"

"You have to tell me everything!"

"SO TAKE A SEAT AND LET ME EXPLAIN!!!!"

"Alright!" Mischief propped himself back against his tree, Cole continued to stand. "Tell me exactly what happened."

"Okay, so yesterday I went to Twilight's house to get her to stop hitting on you because of your nightmares," Cole started.

"Mhmm, wait what?"

"Well, what had happened is that I knew Twilight liked you, but I got into a fight with her, and learned she also wants to be like Kiana."

"Really?"

"Yeah, and then we were standing yelling at each other. And she was so smart, and pretty...But that's when she kissed me..."

"Woah, score. Dude it was just a kiss," Mischief said, taking a bite on a sandwich. "You can still break off and date Pinkie."

"Yeah, but that's when I invited her to have sex with me..."

"WHAT THE HELL?!?!" Mischief shouted at he choked on the sandwich, *cough *cough "You did what now!?"

"I know!"

"Oh my god!"

"I know"

"Augh!"

"It's horrible!"

"WAIT!" Mischief said, "Do you love Pinkie or Twilight?"

"I...That's the problem."

"You can't drag this out, dude. If Pinkie learns that you slept with Twilight then you and her are over."

"Okay. Talk to Pinkie," Cole was writing on a pad of paper he took out of his mane. "Next?"

"And if you ask out Pinkie without breaking off from Twilight, your gonna earn a stalker."

"Mother fu...another?"

"Well? What'cha gonna do?"

"I'll think of something later."

"Okay, what's with your hair? You look like shit."

"Well, I just woke up."

"Oh, got some sleep? Where?"

"...Twlight's bed."

"Dammit Cole."

"I'll think of...something," Cole said as he walked behind a tree. When he came out on the other side his mane was fully groomed. His eyes were free of rings, and his boots were polished. "You know I totally saved you and Kiana from a love triangle, right?"

"Yeah." Mischief said. "Anyway, don't talk about last night to Pinkie, and don't go around Twilight. I have an idea," Mischief said.

"Okay," Cole said as he bit into an apple that was on one of the broken trees.

"But! I want you to find out if Pinkie likes you."

"What!?!"

"Trust me Cole, just do it."

"But I haven't had a girlfriend in years, I'm no love doctor! Have you SEEN my face?"

"That's for sure, and unfortunately, yes."

"Fine," Cole said, picking up a bucket. He placed it under the tree and began bucking a tree. "I never expected you to understand so well...Oh, breaks over." Mischief realized that break actually was over. The two worked in silence for awhile before Mischief spoke.

"So how was it?"

"Excuse me?"

"That was your first time right?"

"Well, yeah."

"So you can proudly say your first sexual encounter was with a pony," Mischief said laughing.

"Dude! Not cool." Cole said, also laughing.

"I'm being serious."

"...Are you going to try something on Kiana?"

"No, just wondering."

"It was amazing, but I don't want to see another female pony ass for at least a week."

"How long were you...active last night?"

"Remember I have insomnia, and I was only asleep for about two hours."

Hahaha." the two laughed. They continued to buck apples until day's end, and went to tell Applejack. On their way to the gate they were cut off by Kiana.

"Hey guys!" Kiana was calling. The two stallions walked up the hill to meet her.

"Hey Kiana," Mischief said.

"Hey Mischief! Hey Cole!" Cole did not respond as he was looking at a butterfly in the last of the sunlight.
"Cole?"

"Don't mind him. What's up?"

"Look!" Kiana turn proceeded to turn around and show Mischief and Cole her Cutie Mark.

"Wow! That's amazing! How did you get it?"

"I cut open Fluttershy's skull." Kiana said, grinning.

The butterfly had disappeared from view, so Cole started paying attention to see Kiana showing him and Mischief her butt. He immediately turned a pale white in the face area and collapsed n the hilltop. A collision with a sharp rock cut a jagged line into his face, similar to a knife scar.

"Oh my god , Cole!" Kiana gasped, "What happened?!"

"I don't think Cole likes your Cutie mark." Mischief said with a laugh.

"Jam...Mischief this is bad, He's losing a lot of blood!" Cole was indeed losing blood at a fast rate.

"Wait, he's not mentally challenged now, he can DIE!!" Mischief said, a large smile forming.

"This is serious<" Kiana was rolling Cole over on his back, inspecting the wound. It was long and jagged, spreading from above the right eyebrow, down between the eyes, and under the left eye. The yellow-orange tint in his face was pale white, due to blood loss.

"Cole?" Kiana asked, holding his head on her front hoof. Body laid across her

Cole slowly opened his eyes.

"What happened?"

"You passed out, and your face is cut."

"And you're helping me? Aww, good to see you care." Cole let out a laugh. Kiana then stood up, pushing Cole off of her.

"Son of a bunny rabbit..."

"Cole get that cleaned up, or it'll scar." Kiana said.

"Yes mom." Cole then spread his wings, and hovered. "I'll talk to you guys later. Seeya."

"Bye."

"So Kiana, how did you get your Cutie Mark?" Mischief asked.

"I saved Fluttershy from a lethal disease," Kiana said proudly.

"Really!? That's amazing, how?"

"I might have pumped her with some substance that scared her back to life..."

"I told you that if it's from Cole, no matter what the intention, throw it away."

"You know what, I don't wanna talk about it right now, Okay!?"

"Wanna talk about the little kids who dislike Cole's stories because he's Korean?"

"No, and i'm pretty sure the reason for those is that he has no written talent. Anyway, i'm going home."

"Alright, I'll see you tomorrow, because tomorrow is date night," Mischief said as he started to ascend into the air, positioning himself towards Rarity's house. He had enough of paying attention to other people to last him a lifetime.

Mischief And Kiana Go On a Date.

This chapter was written because Mischief himself was jealous that he was getting no romance parts in the story so far. So without a doubt I present you, a side chapter.

BUT I still get to put in a signal for a big event coming up, but not the one you think. *wink

After Mischief left Applejack's farm he thinking of ways to save Cole's love life, or what's left of it.

"Damn idiot." He muttered. He knew what he was going to do to help him, but Mischief decided it could wait a few days. He wanted to go to bed, and do something else. He arrived at Carousel Boutique, said hey to Sweetie Belle, and went to bed.

He woke up late the next day. Mischief decided that Cole should have firsthand experience with a relathionship going south.

"Besides," Mischief thought. "Cole's last girlfriend was slaughtered by Cole himself. My last girlfriend still talks to me. I have it worse off."

Mischief walked into the bathroom, and took a long shower. He dried himself off, and prepared for a date. He didn't use cologne or body spray, as he had a grudge with chemicals in his skin. He put on his shoes, and started for downstairs, but was cut off by Sweetie Belle.

"Hi Mischief!" The filly said.

"Hey, Sweetie. What's up?"

"Wanna hang out today?"

"I would, but i'm going to hang out with my girlfriend today."

"That one unicorn? The one that jumped out of the ground?"

Mischief gulped hard. Did she know about the portal?

"Yeah...that's the one."

"She's very pretty."

"Haha, yes she is. Can't talk now, I gotta go." Mischief tried to go downstairs, but Sweetie stayed in his way.

"Come on Mischief we haven't crusaded in weeks!"

"What if we made a deal? What else do you want? Anything in the world."

"Hmm, I wanna know how babies are made." Sweetie said. Mischief's mental fortitude was not expecting this.

"Okay, i'm going to go now," he said as he started walking past her, "and tomorrow i'll teach you where babies are from. Deal?"

"Deal!"

"Smooth," Mischief said as he closed the front door. "I. am. smooth. Now just to avoid her until she forgets."

Mischief arrived at Fluttershy's cottage and Kiana answered the door.

"Mischief, hi," Kiana said as she gave Mischief a quick kiss. "What are you here for?"

"To take you on a date today."

"I don't know Mischief, I kinda have a headache."

"No. You are coming with me."

"But I-"

"Sir!" Mischief said. "Sir, sir. Sir sir sir, sir....sir."

"Not this again." Kiana moaned. Mischief did this every time he didn't want anyone else's opinion, usually Cole's.

"SIR! SIR! SIR! SIR! SIR!!!!!!!!"

"OKAY!! Let's go." Kiana sighed. It might not be the best strategy, but Mischief had a way with women.

The two trotted off to beach, and ordered some ice cream. They then walked along the side of the coast, washing their hooves and talking.

"Do you miss Earth Jamie?" Kiana asked.

"a little, do you?" he said, spashing her with a sprinkle of water. "Gotcha."

"Hehe, somethimes. I really like it here. I wanna stay forever." she cupped her hands, and splashed Jamie back.

"You know we can't do that. Once I find a way back, we're leaving." He kicked a wave into Kiana. "Winning, haha"

Kiana tackled Jamie into the water, laying on top of him. The two laughed together. "Maybe...maybe we could stay, even if we could go home?"

"I don't know. You wanna stay, I wanna leave. Cole wants to live."

"Don't talk about Cole, this is our time," Kiana said. "Let's go for a swim."

The two spent the rest of the afternoon learning to swim as a pony. After a while the waves got higher and higher. At one point Kiana was having trouble staying above water.

"Kiana?" Mischief called out. "Where've you gone?"

He then realized that she was drowning. "Don't worry Kiana! I'm coming!"

Mischief dived underwater, looking for Kiana, who was thrashing around wildly. He swam to her, and realized they were trapped in a current. Kiana had passed out from lack of air. Mischief swam harer and harder, but couldn't fight the current. He knew he was screwed. He was running out of air.

"Wait!" He exclaimed, expending the rest of his air. He flexed his wings, and flew upwards, managing to get above water.

"Gahh!" He gasped, then choked, "Why didn't I think of that before?" He then dragged Kiana over back to shore. She wasn't breathing.

"Oh fuck," He said to himself. He tried to remember CPR but couldn't "Shoulda payed attention during that class..."

He improvised, and gave her mouth to mouth resuscitation. It wasn't working so he tried pumping her chest, trying to get a heartbeat going. He alternated for a couple minutes.

"Come on...come one...Live!" He was getting worried. It was then that Kiana let out a quiet cough.

"??" He leaned in closer. Kiana spat the water that was in her mouth into his face. "Hahahaha," she laughed.

"Ahh!"

"Hahaha"

"Kiana?!? Were you conscious the whole time?"

"That's my secret, haha," Kiana then examined her mane and tail. "Oh my, not the best condition, still soaking wet."

"I'll fix that," Mischief said getting to his hooves. He walked up to Kiana, and grabbed her by the waist.

"What are you doing," Kiana asked as Mischief spread his wings. He took off fast, zooming fast toward to no particular place.

Kiana then saw that they were flying over a foresty hill. She subtly held onto one of Mischief's wings, causing him to fall. The two rolled onto the hill, laughing.

"Look!" Kiana was pointing out the sun setting over the horizon, her golden eyes glistening in the last rays of the sun.

"Wow," Mischief said, "That's beautiful."

"Jamie," Kiana said while resting her head on his shoulder beside him, "Even if we do go home, don't leave me."

"I would never leave you," Mischief replied, "I love you."

Mischief and Twilight Sparkle

The next morning

Mischief had just woken up. He walked into the bathroom, threw a comb in the trash, put on his shoes, and walked downstairs. He walked into the kitchen to find Rarity setting the table for breakfast. There was bacon, eggs, toast, orange juice, butter, and bacon! It looked delicious, but maybe that was because everything here looked like happiness.

"Wow. This is a lot of food Rarity. It looks great!" Mischief said as he sat down.

"Thank you Mischief. I cooked it myself."

they sat at the table and ate quietly. Sweetie Belle only walked in for a minute to take a plate of toast and trot off to school. As Mischief went to put his plate away Rarity spoke up.

"Mischief, while your in Ponyville and are waiting for your memory to return, why not make some friends during your visit?"

"Uhh, if you think I should. Problem is I don't know anypony here." Mischief had returned to his chair.

"Hmm, that is a problem, since nopony knows you exist at all. You could try the other Elements of Harmony. We stayed with you during your recovery in the hospital."

"That sounds as good a plan as any." He said as he tried to remember what the other Elements were like. He couldn't.

"Can you tell me what their like, the Elements. They personas, what things they do?"

"Well that's the question, isn't it" Rarity said as she thought for a moment. "you might want to try Twilight Sparkle. The city librarian, and the element of magic. Always carrying a book or scroll, and quite a sharp pony if I might add. She seemed to take an interest in you during your visit to the hospital. There's always Fluttershy. Though very quiet, she loves animals, like rabbits, and-"

While Rarity was speaking Mischief had a flashback. it was the time Kiana pushed Cole off the roof of the high school with his leg caught in a noose. He was hanging there while he and Kiana had a very awkwardly romantic moment laughing at Cole as he thought he was a on a swing set. It only took a couple minutes for a large crowd to gather only to be mortified. Cole had been swinging so much that Kiana's knot had come undone. Cole fell down over ten feet right onto a bunny. The rabbit only made a quiet squeak before dying from it's broken limbs impaling it's lungs.

"-but only to be filled with mud!" Rarity has been talking about the other elements but Mischief wasn't sure how long he wasn't paying attention. "And finally there is Rainbow Dash, the Element of Loyalty-"

"Fuck," Mischief thought to himself, "I missed the others."

"-join the Wonderbolts. She's headstrong and hard to impress."

"Uhh, thanks. I think i'll start with Twilight." He said as he walked towards the door. "Seeya."

When Mischief arrived at Twilight's tree house he knocked on the door only to be greeted by a small green and purple dragon. Mischief was about to introduce himself when it said,

"What do you want." Irritation clearly in Spike's voice.

"Hey, I'm here to see Twilight. I'm Mischief."

"Spike, who's at the door? What's going on?" The purple unicorn was walking up to the door, and used magic to fully open it. "Mischief! What are you doing here? Come in, come in." Twilight led Mischief to her reading room, and went to get some tea with a small grin. Spike had wandered off upstairs. It was 11:42 but Spike still wanted a nap. Mischief could respect that. He took a seat.

Twilight returned with a teapot, two cups, and some cookies on fine China. Mischief took a cookie. Twilight sat down and began.

"I'm glad you came to visit Mischief. I have so many questions for you. What do you remember? Where are you from? Is your memory returning? How did you survive the crash Rarity described? How many-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on. One question at a time." Mischief said as he chewed. He was getting a headache, but not as bad as the ones Cole gave him, this was very minor compared.

"Okay then, how did you survive from the crash? It's not possible for an impact as big as Rarity described for a landing. I read it in a book. You shouldn't be alive..."

"I...don't remember much, just a few things. The crash is not one of them."

"Interesting. Do you remember where it is your from? Canterlot? Cloudsdale?"

"I know this one. I'm a human from Earth." Mischief said flatly. He could vividly remember Jamie, but not anything from the day he got into Equestria.

"Earth? I don't think I've heard of that town," Twilight said as she levitated a few books off of a few shelves. One was on psychology.

"Earth is a planet, not a town. Hey, i'm amnesiac, not crazy!" Mischief was annoyed.

"I'm not saying you are Mischief, just nopony knows what a "human" or "Earth" is." Twilight said defensively. "And right now, you look just like a pony with lightning hair."

"Whatever. besides, i'm surprised your not crazy yourself. Reading all the time. You've gotta get out of your, uhh, house, and do something. Books are for nerds."

"Books are fine! And what else would I do?"

"Come on, I'll show you." Mischief said as he headed for the door. Twilight followed begrudgingly. As they were walking just outside the door a pony with a lyre Cutie Mark was in a straight jacket being pulled by two large muscular stallions. One had a mustache! The mare was yelling something like, "THEY'RE REAL I SWEAR!!"

Mischief spent the day with Twilight doing things that stayed away from books. Mountain climbing, walking through the park, swimming, and (attempting) to teach mischief how to fly. For some reason he couldn't figure it out. He could only open his wings after half an hour. Rainbow Dash herself flew by to mock him, only to be tossed away by Twilight's magic.

"This feels so weird, i'm not used to extra limbs." Mischief said as he flared his wings in frustration."

"Don;t worry mischief, i'm sure Rainbow will teach you herself, if you ask. Just humor her." Twilight said reassuringly.

"Thanks Twilight. It's good to have a friend to talk to that's normal. Mischief said praying that Cole would never show up here. Ever.

"Thank you Mischief, i'm glad to have you as a friend too." Twilight said. She was smiling at Mischief. Mischief smiled back, then thought it got 20% more awkward. He thought she looked a little more[/i ]than friendly but didn't say anything. This might be the afterlife, he thought. Kiana isn't here, but i'll find a new girlfriend after I make sure this is heaven. It's certainly colorful enough, he thought...

This chapter was soooo hard to write, but the next one is going to be really fricken awesome SAAN!!

40 internet points to whoever knows which Youtube channel says: SAAN!!