Drink Some More

99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer...

there was a bizarre thunk as a bottle collided with my head.

"fucking hell Pinkie! aim for me hoof!" i chuckled as i rubbed my head.

it had been several months since i arrived in Ponyville, and having been given a traditional ponyville welcome, i simply did what anypony else would do.

i got shitfaced and partied hard!

however, i never did like clubbing. so in the end i decided to just have the 7 of us here.

i say 7....

there was Pinkie pie, she had a blatant disregard for both physics and various other things.

but she could party boy could she party. Twilight had managed to make herself a rather large book-seat and was constantly slipping off. there was a light thud as she hit the floor. "not one of my best ideas" she slurred.

then there was Rainbow Dash and Applejack, both in the closet but couldnt admit it.

Rarity would on the odd occasion try and push the two of them together, attempting the impossible.

Fluttershy?...well... "...and thats about the time i fell off the cloud" she's a talkative drunk.. bless her heart.

And then there was me, the universe's favorite alcohol-induced punching bag.

life has a funny way of treating me ya know? like one minute its shit and the next, its fuckin brilliant.

the sounds of random music played out. Twilight edged further to me than she usually does.

"Twilgith, what are you think" I was cut off by a drunken kiss.

as soon as she pulled away, she blushed a deep red.

I then watched as she grabbed a fresh bottle of vodka (heavenly stuff) and took a swig.

she grimaced as the bizarre flavour trickled down her throat. i took it off her and took a hearty swig myself.

"How can you drink that stuff straight?" Pinkie pie sounded more relaxed... a drowzy drunk if i'm not mistaken.

"quite easily," i took a second swig. "providing i'm already drunk"

Rarity suddenly giggled at some random object. "it looks... like a penis"

I shot her a look which screamed what the fuck. but then I remembered, she was random when she's drunk.

Twilight continued to look at me with smouldering sultry eyes.

a little voice started to speak in my head. "dude, PROTECTION! MAGIC MISSLE... SOMETHING, YOU'S ABOUT TO GET YOUR BONE JUMPED!" she pounced on my, crashing my thought train.

"whoah... er..Twilight?" i heared the soft snores coming from the mare on top of me.

"well thats just fucking marvellous," i looked around as the others, save for Rarity who had found herself asleep on a couch, and pinkie pie who was asleep on a pile of books, left.

"a little help?" bollocks

i brushed a hoof through Twilight's mane for a moment. "ya know... this isn't actually that bad," i said to myself.

Scooping Twilight up onto my back, i carried her to my bed. gently sliding her off.

after what seemed like an age, i picked up the vodka bottle and walked outside.

staring at the stars. "ahhh this is the life," i smiled to myself. "a bottle of vodka, a clear starry night... and not a single mistake made" I sighed. i took another swig. standing up to get back into the house, i pushed the door.

it wouldn't open.

i pulled the door.

it still wouldnt open.

"fuck," i grumbled. "did it again"

i had the re-occouring problem of locking myself out.

in the end i gave up and carried on drinking. enjoying the sight of the stars.

"ah well.. better start counting," i began to sing "99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer, you take 1 down, pass it aroun' 98 bottles of beer on the wall..."

Twilight had woken up in a bed. "wha? where the fuck am i... oh yeah, round Boozer's...why am i in his..oh god no" she started to panic, until she heard a voice coming from outside. she poked her head out the window and saw him sitting on the front porch. he was drunk as a skunk.

"21 bottles of....stuff...on the floor.... 26 bottles of stuff " my mind had turned to mush after a few hours of singing.

"Boozer, you out there?"

"come on out twi, me wanna watch the sunrise" i watched drunkenly as her ears pricked up.

"sunrise?" i nodded.... nodding makes my head hurt.

she quickly rushed down the stairs..well more like tumbled, and opened the door.

she sat down beside me uncerimoniously. as we watched the sun rise, i simply sighed and finished the bottle.

"you eva heard the phrase a drunk stallions words are a sober stallions thoughts?" she nodded her head slightly.

i sighed. "good, because I'm drunk..and it be awesome if i got this out in le open"

she looked on, clearly not as drunk as i was. i grumbled something under my breath "you, little miss... are prolly the only pony who actually gets me"

"your drunk" she stated. bloody unicorns... after a bit of sleep they sober up completely i think.

"not the point, point is" i sighed. "I love" you. I passed out, leaving Twilight oblivious to last word of the sentence

Twilight picked me up with her magic, floating me up the stairs and onto my bed. she then crawled in to the bed as well.

she must have guessed the last word, thanking Celestia that she had the day off.