What could go wrong?by TheOctoWriterChaptersChapter 1- This day just got a whole lot weirder.Chapter 2- Talking horses are real?! Chapter 4- Get your groove on! Chapter 5- Discord? I thought you disappeared from this?!Chapter 6- You're good now right? Chapter 7- Discord finally advances the plot. Chapter 7.5- An average day in Ponyville. Chapter 8- Discord! You haven't gone far enough bud. Chapter 3- The one where Miss Harshwhinny tells Thomas off.Chapter 1- This day just got a whole lot weirder.Thomas woke up and stretched. "Ahh! Another beautiful day in Wyoming!" He said as he saw the sun poking its head out. Its bright rays greeted him to a beautiful Monday. Thomas started getting ready to go to work. He brushed the fur on his head. Brushed his teeth. And made sure that his suit was free of wrinkles. Then Thomas crawled out of his cave home. "Hey Tom!" Frank said. Frank was Tom's best friend. Well his only friend. He was a medium sized bear with a mohawk. He also had some tattoos, mostly of various types of leaves that he liked. Rather intimidating at first but a friendly bear once you got to know him. Thomas didn't really make any friends at the workplace. He preferred to focus on his work. "Oh hey Frank, how have you been?" "Good, you heading to work?" "Yeah, I gotta take care of some squirrels that are bothering the boss." "Good luck! Nasty little critters..." Frank said. "See ya frank." Thomas said as he continued to head to work. Thomas made it to his workplace in 25 minutes. "Hey Tom, I need you to get rid of those Squirrels by the afternoon!" Thomas's boss Delone yelled. Thomas's boss was a old grizzled bear, claimed he had fought in some forest wars. Thomas used to grab some fish with him when he had the time. "On it boss!" Thomas said as went outside his workplace to scare off the squirrels. Thomas roared and jumped at them. The squirrels scattered. All except for one. This squirrel was Archie. Shady type of squirrel, rumors had it that he ran some type of gang. The bird cops found that he was selling drugs too. No animal wanted to screw him over. "Thomas..." The head squirrel gang leader said casually. "Archie, cut the niceties. I want your crew to lay off of Delone." Thomas said curtly. "Alright Thomas, I'll do this favor for you." Archie said "But you owe me Thomas, you better pay up, or else someone's losing a paw. You got me?" Thomas flinched slightly at the thought. "Yeah, Archie. I got you." "Good." The gang leader then disappeared into the greenery. Thomas went back to his boss. "I took care of the squirrels boss. They won't be bothering you anymore." "Good job Thomas! I knew I could count on you." Thomas got started on the stack of paperwork he was suppose to do. "Thomas." Delone said. "Yes boss?" Thomas asked. "Why don't you take the rest of the day off?" "Boss?" Thomas asked confused. "You helped me deal with those annoying squirrels earlier, so I feel this is a proper reward." "Thanks boss!" Thomas said happily. Thomas left his workplace and went home. He decided that since he had nothing else to do, may as well sleep. Thomas had woken up from a bad dream in a cold sweat. That was a weird dream, I was trapped in a hospital in another world Thomas thought. Thomas started laughing at the ridiculousness of it all. "Doctor! He's waking up!" A pony nurse said. Thomas just stared at her. And stared. And kept staring until the doctor came up to him and asked him if he was okay. "Talking horses... What the [Censored]!" Then he fainted. How could this all go wrong? Thomas thought. Then he remembered what brought him here. Discord! I'm gonna [Censor] him! Thomas thought. Flashback- Monday night. "Ahh! That was some good fish!" Thomas said as he rubbed his belly. Of course, it sounded more like "Arghhgghghg..." any human ear listening. After Thomas ate his fill, he decided to explore. However, as Thomas neared a recent unexplored cave. Something incredible happened. A strange creature with the body of what appeared to be a Dragon, the talons of a Griffon. and the leg of a Dragon and Minotaur appeared in a flash of light. The one thing Thomas noticed immediately was those red eyes that stared into his very soul. "Hello! My friend! Wouldn't you like to go on a magical adventure in another world?." Discord said, while juggling nine chainsaws, a rhino, and 20 scorpions that were on fire. "Um, no... what are you?" "Who are you?" "How can you understand me?" "Bah! You ask too many questions my fur covered friend... don't you wanna leave this world?" "No." Thomas said firmly. "But why not? What's so great here that would make you want to stay?" "I got a house, food, and don't have to pay animal taxes." "Hmph. You're no fun." Discord said with annoyance. Then Discord snapped his fingers. Wyoming disappeared in an instant. Thomas then noticed they were transported to some type of white space. "Where are we?!" Thomas said. "What's going on?!!" He said in a more panicky voice. "Relax. It's just a pocket dimension." "Pocket dimension?" "Yes." Discord then made the motion of grabbing and tearing it. Thomas was confused at first, but then he realized that Discord had tore a hole through the dimension. Without waiting for Thomas to even complain or protest Discord told him "You're going there." Discord pointed to the dimensional tear. Thomas took a closer look, And noticed some ponies. It was strange seeing them walk around and have a functioning society. But then again, Thomas was a talking bear. "No way man, err weird dragon dude." "I'm wanna go back to Wyoming." "Too bad, so sad..." Discord said with mock sympathy. "Why are you-" Thomas didn't even get to finish his sentence as he was lifted up with Discord's magic. "Land on the trees, they hurt less than the ground. you dip[Censored]." Discord said with a evil smile. "Wait. why are you-" "Ahhh! What the [Censored]?!" Thomas cried out as Discord flung him into the dimensional tear. Chapter 2- Talking horses are real?! Chapter 2- Talking horses are real?! Thomas has fainted again... He wasn't known for being a brave bear. But this was just embarrassing. Not like the ponies would hurt him, would they? He woke up again. "Ughhh..." Thomas said while rubbing his head. He realized that he was still in Ponyville General. Thomas was trying very hard to accept this. You could tell because he started sweating buckets. "So, how are you feeling sir?" Doctor Redline asked. "You talk." Thomas said stunned. "Why yes, that is how ponies communicate with one another." "This is unbelievable." Thomas said with a sigh. "Why is that?" Doctor Redline questioned. "I've woken up in a hospital with talking horses." Thomas said. "Ponies sir, we'reponies." Doctor Redline. "Oh, my bad." Thomas said with a embarrassed laugh. "It's okay. Not every day this hospital gets a patient as strange as you either." Doctor Redline said. "Why's that?" Thomas asked. "You talk." Doctor Redline replied. "What's so strange about that?" Thomas asked slightly hurt. "Bears don't talk in our world." Doctor Redline answered sternly. "Nooooooo!" Thomas yelled out in grief. "I'm getting out of here." Thomas said with determination. "But you haven't filled out your medical records... we don't even know who you are." Doctor Redline replied. "I'm Thomas." Thomas quickly said. "Nice to meet you Thomas, I'm Doctor Redline." Doctor Redline said. "Doctor?" Thomas asked. "Yes Thomas, what do you need?" "Can I go now?" Thomas asked bluntly. "No." Doctor Redline said. "But why?" Thomas whined. "You need to rest. we found you unconscious with three broken ribs." Doctor Redline explained. "Ha ha! Wait... did you say three broken ribs?" Thomas asked with worry. "Yes I did." Doctor Redline said with a smirk. Thomas tried to sit up. "Ow! Ow! Pain!" Thomas said. "Told you so." Doctor Redline said. "Fine... I'll stay in this horse hospital." Thomas grumbled. "We're ponies!" Doctor Redline said as he left the room. Three weeks later. Thomas's first friend was a Pegasus named Swift. Yeah... that's it. Thomas was a little suspicious of this one because he wouldn't even tell him his last name. "Say Swift?" Thomas said. "Yeah Tom?" Swift asked. "What's your last name?" Thomas asked. "Ughhh.... dude." Swift said facehoofing. "I've told you like a hundred times already how do you keep forgetting?" "I dunno." "Exactly." "It's Landing." "Landing?" Thomas said. "Yeah." Swift said. Thomas tried not to pee himself laughing at the name. "Hahaha! Swift Landing!" Thomas said laughing loudly. "Oh yeah?! Well... you don't even have a last name!" Swift said. "I don't..." Thomas said sadly. "Holy sweet celestia on a stick, you don't?!" Swift asked shocked. "No... don't remember my parents giving me one." "I'm sorry dude. I didn't mean-" "Got ya. It's Barington." Thomas said with a smile. "Haha!, yeah dude you got me." Swift said with a laugh. "I'm gonna go grab some grub wanna join me?" Thomas asked. "Sorry dude, but I gotta go back to my room, doctors don't like me flying around with one broken wing." "Alright dude see ya." Thomas said as he waved. "Bye dude." Swift said as he flew back to his room. Thomas went into the cafeteria. He found another one of his friends there. He decide to join him for lunch. "Hey Flashlight! What's up?" Thomas asked as he sit down. "Oh hey Thomas! How you been bro?!" Flashlight yelled Flashlight was one of Thomas's friends in the hospital. He was a light gray unicorn, with a giant orange afro. and a golf ball cutie mark. He looked a bit odd. But overall he was nice, if a little bit too excited at times. "I've been good Flash." Thomas said. "That's good man." Flash said. "Say Tom..." Flash began. "Yeah Flash?" Tom said. "Don't drink the yellow snow!" Flash yelled in a panic. "Umm... dude. You ok?" Thomas asked concerned. "Don't do it man! It's poison!" Flash said as he started foaming at the mouth. "Don't worry bro! I'll get help!" Thomas said. Thomas ran out of the cafeteria into the hallway. "HELP! SOMEPONY HELP FLASHLIGH!" Thomas yelled. Doctors and nurses ran into the cafeteria and sedated Flashlight. The last thing Thomas heard from him was something about not eating the Rainbow colored mushrooms. Later that night. Thomas was woken up by some thumping sounds. "Hey Swift is that you?" Thomas called out into the dark. Thomas got up and started walking down the hall. He saw a lone figure standing there. "Hey dude, can you keep it down I'm trying to-" Thomas's words died in his throat as the pony turned it's head 180 degrees and faced him. "What the [Censored] are you?!" Thomas yelled. "Oh... you really don't recognize me?" The mystery pony asked. "Maybe it's this form." Suddenly the being turned into a very familiar combination of animals. "Discord." Thomas said with shock. "Ding ding ding! A winner is you!" Discord said happily. "So you really wanna get out of here don't you?" Discord said as he wrapped himself around Thomas. "N..No. I don't." Thomas said afraid of what discord would do. Thomas could feel that he was going to lose control of his bowels if Discord didn't let go soon. "Please let go..." Thomas said weakly. "Why should I?" Discord asked. "If you don't I'm gonna make a mess on you." Thomas said. "Oh... how marvelous! I gotta get some popcorn for this." Discord said. "Or maybe some laughy chews." Discord said pondering which one he should get to eat and watch Thomas suffer. Thomas took this opportunity of distraction to carefully try to slip away. He had just dropped to the ground when Discord looked down and noticed him trying to escape. "No running in the halls." Discord said as he lifted a running Thomas with his magic. "LET ME GO!" Thomas yelled. All the commotion caused all the hospital staff to slowly gather around and demand that Discord release Thomas. "Let's go somewhere a little more private hmm." Discord said as he teleported Thomas and himself to the outskirts of Ponyville. Discord let Thomas go. Only to lift him up again with his magic. "See what I meant Thomas, isn't Equestria more fun than that place you call Wyoming?" Discord said with a smirk. "For you maybe!" Thomas yelled back. "I just wanna go home you crazy [Censored]!" Thomas said. "Ahh... It seems we still haven't learned how to respect our elders." Discord said. Discord snapped his fingers once again. This time Thomas was in the middle of the Equestrian Games. Chapter 4- Get your groove on! Chapter 4- Get your groove on! Thomas stumbled out of the Equestrian Games Stadium. He was wet, cold, and hungry. He walked along a small bridge in Ponyville... until he saw something that piqued his interest. It looks like a bar. Thomas thought as he walked in. "Pheeew..." Thomas said. Finally, I can get something to drink around here. maybe even some food. Thomas thought. "What'll it be son?" The barkeep asked. "I'll take a scotch on the rocks." Thomas replied. "And a plate of super cheesy nachos." Thomas added. "Here's your order sir." The Barkeep said. "Enjoy." "Thanks." Thomas said as he dug into the food. It's beautiful... Thomas thought. After Thomas finished the food he sighed happily. "That was some good grub." Thomas said quietly. "Heh, you got that right." A voice said. "Frank, get me a vodka martini." Spike said. "Here ya go boss." Frank said. "Thanks." Spike said as he starting sipping. Thomas turned and saw a small purple dragon. "Ey dude, Aren't you a little young to be sitting here?" Thomas asked curiously. "Hey! I got my I.D!" Spike said as he showed his I.D to Thomas. "Sorry about that, it's just that you look young." Thomas apologized. "No worries. It happens." Spike said. "I'm Thomas, by the way." Thomas said. "Spike." Spike said. "So, Spike why are you here?" Thomas asked. "To dance my [censored] off and to get some [censored]!" Spike said. "Cool..." Thomas said. "What about you?" Spike asked. "I'm just here to grab some grub and a drink." Thomas. "And miss out on the dance floor?!" Spike said. "Bro... don't you wanna shake it and have fun!" Spike asked. "Not really dude." Thomas said. "Aw! C'mon dude! don't be a party pooper!" Spike said. Thomas was about to said something in response when he stopped. Spike stopped as well and looked at him. "What are you-" "Oh... I see." Spike said with understanding. "See what?" Thomas asked. "I see you checking Vinyl's records." Spike said with a laugh. "Dude, I've been at this game a lot longer than you and let me tell you something." Spike said. "It's not gonna work." Spike said bluntly. Spike then proceeded to tell Thomas about what happened between him and Rarity. Thomas couldn't help but laugh his [censored] off. In fact, he laughed so hard he fell off his bar stool. "You were her [censored] for years and even after all that she wouldn't even go out with you?!" Thomas said still laughing. Spike got angry. "Hey! if you think it's so easy why don't you try getting Vinyl!" Spike challenged. "Oh! is that a challenge I smell?" Thomas said. "I accept! prepare to eat your words!" Thomas said determined. This'll be a piece of cake. Thomas thought. After all, how hard can it be to get a DJ to date you? Thomas learned the hard way that this was no easy task. Thomas strolled up to Vinyl. "Hey... babycakes. I noticed you got some pretty kickin' records." Thomas said with his smoothest voice. Vinyl took off her headphones for a few seconds. "Glad you're enjoying the beats dude!" she said. Then she returned to the beats. Thomas was surprised. Darn! Missed my chance. Gotta be faster than that. Thomas thought. Thomas started gesturing wildly with his claws. This got her attention for a little bit. "Hey... I was just wondering. if you wanted to chill with me later." Thomas yelled. "No! I don't know anypony named Icy Phil!" Vinyl yelled back in response. "Not Phil! Chill!" Thomas yelled. "Do you wanna chill with me?!" But it was too late. Vinyl had gone back to her music. One lost chance! Gotta get this right or else Spike will never let me hear the end of this. Thomas thought. Thomas got on the dance floor and started to dance. He starting pointing at Vinyl and then back at him. Eventually Vinyl started paying attention to him. Although she couldn't really see what he was trying to signal so she started to lean towards him. Thomas then started dancing. His moves were so awesome that Vinyl instantly fell in love with him! Hahaha... NO! Vinyl noticed his moves all right. But she was creeped out by them. Thomas really wanted to get the message across so in his excitement... He decided that Pelvic Thrusting was the best way to get and keep her attention. From Vinyl's point of view, it looked like he was telling her that he wanted to [censored]. Instead of dance with her. Vinyl just looked away in disgust. Thomas had realized that he failed hard. Spike walked over to him and put a claw on his shoulder. "Dude, it's okay. you tried." Spike said with a smile. "Yeah... thanks for not making fun of me." Thomas said with a defeated look. "Hey! You got further than I ever did." Spike said happily. "Eh, good job on trying to get Rarity too." Thomas said. "Much have not been easy." "Believe me, it wasn't." Spike said bluntly. "Hey spike... I was wondering if I could ask you a favor?" Thomas asked nervously. "What is it dude?" Spike said. "I was wondering if I could stay with you. Since I don't have a place to stay at." Thomas. Spike looked at him coldly. Thomas got even more nervous and start sweating. Spike then dropped the look and started laughing, smiling at Thomas. "Haha! Of course dude!" Spike said. "That wasn't funny I thought I was gonna end up homeless!" Thomas said. "Dude, you're like the only other guy that different in Ponyville." Spike said. "I wouldn't leave you hanging like that." Spike said. "So, are we friends then?" Thomas asked. "Sure dude!" Spike said as he fist bumped Thomas. "Thanks Spike!" Thomas said. "No problem dude!" Spike replied. Spike and Thomas stumbled back to Twilight's Library. Spike knocked on the door. "Twilight, open up I got a friend who needs help and [censored]!" Spike said. "Spike, where have you been do you have any-" Twilight saw Thomas. "H... hello, I'm Twilight Sparkle, and who might you be?" "I'm Thomas." Thomas said then laughed his [censored] off because he was too dam drunk. Thomas had passed out in front of Twilight. Twilight sighed then brought them both in. "Thomas you can sleep... over there." Twilight said. "And as for you Spike, get showered and go to bed!" Twilight yelled. "Huh what? Oh Rarity... that feels amazing." Spike said in semi sober state. "Spiiiiiike!" Twilight called out in a singing voice. "GET YOUR LAZY [CENSORED.] UP! AND GO TO BED! YOU [CENSORED!]" Twilight yelled. "Ahhh! Holy [censored.] I'm awake! I'm awake!" Spike said in a panic as he run upstairs to get ready for bed. "As for you... I guess I have no choice but to share a bed with you." Twilight said to the still passed out Thomas. Early Morning Spike woke up to some loud thumping noises coming from Twilight's room. Spike pressed his ear to a wall and listened trying to figure out what was going on. He then heard this. "Uggh! Twilight.... I'm trying to fit inside but it's too small!" Thomas said frustrated. "Keep trying Thomas! Come On! Come On! Push it in harder dam it!" Twilight yelled. "Oh yes! Sweet Celestia [censored] yes!" Twilight screamed. After a few minutes of their cries of happiness, Spike then heard "I'm almost there Twilight!" Thomas cried out. "Come on! Keep going!" Twilight said. Spike then heard a pop and then "Yes! Thomas! Yes!" Twilight screamed out in pure bliss. "That was amazing Twilight." Thomas said panting heavily. Spike almost knocked down the door trying to get in. Once he did, he spoke a few choice words. "WHAT THE [CENSORED] ARE YOU DOING?! THAT'S MY SIS-" Spike then noticed that Thomas was missing. Twilight looked at Spike confused. Spike found him outside on the ground. "Hey dude!" Thomas said and waved. "Wait, you mean you guys weren't..?" Spike said confused. "But the noises I heard they-" "That was just Thomas and I celebrating our success at getting him out the window." Twilight explained. "He wouldn't fit so I had to push him out using my magic." Twilight explained further. "Oh, so that wasn't..?" Spike said. "No Spike, I wouldn't do that type of stuff around you." Twilight said. "I would at least tell you first so you could go someplace quiet." Twilight said with a smile. "Oh good!" Spike said wiping the sweat off his brow. Chapter 5- Discord? I thought you disappeared from this?!Chapter 5- Discord? I thought you disappeared from this?! Thomas was having a awesome time in Ponyville. He had almost forgotten about wanting to go home. Almost... Thomas had sat on the ground. He thought about why he was send to Equestria? Was it because Discord was just bored and decided to torment somebear? Or was there a deeper meaning behind his arrival here. Just as Thomas was about to come to a conclusion A flash of light appeared and Discord emerged. "Hello Thomas! Enjoying Ponyville? Well.. are ya?" Discord said happily. "What do you want?" Thomas said coldly. "Ouch! That's hurts Tommy, I thought we were friends." Discord say faking a hurt look. "I'll never be friends with someone as crazy as you!" Thomas said. "Oh, but think about it, haven't you always wondered what it would be like?" Discord asked. [Happy music plays in the background] Thomas started imagining life with Discord as his friend. "Well..." Thomas started. No, bad brain! No having friend fantasies about the crazy guy errr.. dragon thing! Thomas thought. "No! I still refuse." Thomas said. "Bah! You're no fun." Discord said. "But I would be a lot more careful from now on Thomas." "I could pop up when you leastexpect it." "And I'll keep doing it until you take my talon in friendship." Discord said curtly. "Whatever..." Thomas said lazily. Although Thomas was too busy trying to enjoy the day, he had no idea what chaos he had just put upon himself. Discord appeared at the most uncomfortable of times. In the shower. "Yeah! Gonna take this shower!" Thomas said as he stepped into the bathtub. He turned on the water and let it pour over him. It relaxed him, just as he starting nodding off... A blinding white light appeared. Discord popped out of that light. "Hello Thomas..." Discord said smugly. "Ahh! DIscord What the [censored]!" "I'm taking a [censored] shower! Get out!" "Not until you accept my friendship boo." Discord put on his best puppy eyes. "Pleaseee." "No." "Fine, be like that Thomas." Discord snapped his a finger and disappeared. The next day. "Twilight, I'm getting some groceries. you want anything?" Thomas asked. "Some potatoes would be fine." Twilight. "Alright!" Thomas said as he headed out of the library. He want into the market stalls. "Hi, can I have some blueberries?" Thomas asked. "Of course, that will be 5 bits." The pony merchant said. "Here ya go." Thomas said. "Thank you for your business." The pony merchant said happily. Thomas walked over to the next stall. "He can I have some-" "Discord?! What the [censored]?!" "Hi Thomas. Wanna be friends now?" "No!" " Can you please [censored] off so I can buy my groceries and go home?" "No. you have to be my friend." "No I don't." "Ok Thomas, you wanna play hardball? then let's play." Discord disappeared once again. Thomas got back to Twilight's place. "I'm back." Thomas said. "Oh did you get the potatoes?" Twilight asked. "Here." Thomas gave Twilight the potatoes. "Thanks." Twilight said. "I'm going to go to bed early tonight." Thomas said. "Ok, be sure to wash up." Twilight said. Thomas went up to his room. "Ahh.. finally I can get some sleep." "Hello again Thomas." "No go away." "One day Thomas, one day." Discord disappeared. The next couple of weeks. Discord appeared everywhere Thomas did. In the bathroom. "Please?" "No [censored] off." In the shower. "C'mon." "Nope." In his dreams. "I love you Thomas." "Really... I love-" "Thomas please." "What the [censored] man, I'll having a moment!" Even paying his taxes. "Twilight do you have any extra tax return-" "Boss please." "No." Finally Thomas caved. He became Discord's friend on a Tuesday. "Thomassss.... Be my friend." "Ughhh... do you promise to stop annoying me?" "I promise." "Fine." "Thank you Thomas! You won't regret this." Thomas whispers "I'm already starting to." Discord asks "What was that?" "Nothing..." Thomas said looking innocent. The next morning. "Good morning Twilight." Thomas said. "Good morning Spike." Thomas said. "Good morning Discord." Thomas said nonchalantly. "Wait... DIscord?!" "What the [censored] are you doing here?!!!" Thomas asked freaking out. "Oh wait..." "Now I remember." "Hello friend..." Thomas said between clenched teeth. "Good Morning Thomas!" Discord said happily. This library was just about to get a lot more interesting. "YOU DID WHAT?!!" Twilight said freaking out. "TWILIGHT CALM DOWN, HE'S A FRIEND." Thomas yelled back. "MAYBE TO YOU, BUT DO YOU REALIZE WHAT'S HE'S DONE TO EQUESTRIA?!!" Twilight said angrily. "I KNOW, BUT PONIES CAN CHANGE!" Thomas said. After Twilight starting not hyperventilating, she calmed down. "Fine... but if he causes any trouble. I'm going to blame it on you." Twilight said. "Don't be such a [censored] Twi." Thomas said. "I'm a [censored]? says the person who brought Discord into my home." Twilight said curtly. "Twilight, just trust me on this okay? I'll make him see the error of his ways and change." Thomas said. "Fine..." Twilight said, still rather skeptic. "I'll trust you." "Thank you." "C'mon let me grab you a hayburger to say sorry." Thomas said smiling. Twilight giggled. "It better be a good one." Twilight said turning that frown upside down. "It'll be good, besides I'm the one paying for it." Thomas said. And they went to get some hayburgers. Twilight accept his apology and promptly ate it as fast as she could. Thomas was right though, that was one good hayburger. Twilight thought. Hello World! Pinkie go away. Aww... but I wanna talk to your audience. Pinkie... don't make me get the laser rifle. You meanie! I'm sorry Pinkie. I'll let you talk to them some other time ok? Okay... But you're such a big meanie pants. Well... it's true. Chapter 6- You're good now right? Chapter 6- You're good now right? Thomas sauntered his way over to Discord. But there was just one little problem. He was nervous. Fur soaked, eyes bugged, paws clammy sort of nervous. Just calm down, it's no big deal... Thomas told himself. He took a couple of deep breaths. "Hey Discord." Thomas said, as he tried to control the violently shaking in his paws. He was only trying to reform a malicious GOD who hated his guts. No big deal at all. "Hmm.. who is-" Discord said as he turned around to face Thomas. "Oh... Hello Thomas." Discord said, the corners of his mouth curving in a evil smile. "I need you to stop doing that." Thomas said, getting more nervous by the second. "But isn't smiling what friends do?" Discord said, as his faked a hurt look. "We're not friends!" Thomas yelled out angrily. "Um, I mean- you gotta stop trying to ruin Equestria." Thomas said, trying to not sound scared. "Oh? Why should i?" Discord questioned, hoisting Thomas up to eye level with his tail. "It's not nice bro." Thomas said in an annoyed tone. "Fine." Discord said with a bored looked on his face. "I'll play along." Discord said after a slight pause. "But know this... you cross me I'll end you. Got it?" Discord said coldly. "Yup." Thomas said gulping. "Good. So new friend what now?" Discord asked. "Let's party!" Thomas yelled out with excitement, "Wooo!" Five hours later... "I'll admit Thomas, I enjoyed that more than I should have." Discord said, looking slightly embarrassed. "C'mon dude, lighten up!" Thomas said grinning, "Live a little!" He said with a encouraging smile. "I..." Discord said still unsure. "You're right Thomas. I should have more fun." Discord said with a goofy smile. "Yeah dude, I gotta go. But I'll hang out with you sometime ok?" Thomas asked. "I would like that." Discord said with a toothy smile. "Alright bye Discord!" Thomas said as he hurried back to Twilight's house. "See you later Thomas." Discord said as he waved a paw. Once Thomas was out of earshot, Discord spoke again. "Yes... go off to your little house Thomas, but know this. I will destroy you and then take over Equestria once more." "Hahaha! Who can stop me?!" Discord yelled crazily. "WHO?" Discord cried out as he cackled evilly. Thomas woke up covered in a cold sweat. "DISCORD IS GONNA TAKE OVER EQUESTRIA! AHHH!" He screamed in terror. "Oh no sweetie did you have another nightmare?" Twilight said with concern as she turned to face him. "W- what?" Thomas said spluttering. "Um..." He began. "Why are you in my bed?" Thomas asked, afraid to get the answer. "We're married silly!" Twilight said giggling a little. "What the [Censored?!!!]" Thomas yelled, more confused than anything now. "I'm getting out of here." Thomas said as he tried to slid out of their bed. But Twilight pinned him down. "Thomas... I thought you loved me, why do you want to leave?" Twilight asked with a depressed look in her eyes. Thomas choked a little under the weight of Twilight. "Air!" He cried out. But Twilight refused to let him go. Instead, she did something even stranger than before. Twilight started to rub his chest gently. She made those little circles that people with SOs do. Luickly, she relaxed her grip a little so Thomas managed to gulp back some sweet refreshing air. "Twi, enough of this. Let me go!" Thomas said, getting more annoyed by the second. "No! You're stay with me foreverrrr" Twilight said with a crazed look in her eyes. "AHHHH!" Thomas screamed, as a look of pure terror gripped him. Suddenly the dream ended. Somepony was shaking him. "Hey Thomas. Wake up." A voice called out to him. Thomas vision was blurry at first but after a few seconds he adjusted. Twilight was standing in front of him. "Gah!" Thomas said as he continued getting shooken. "I'm awake!" He cried out. Twilight stopped shaking him. "Sorry about that, but you wouldn't wake up when I called out to you." Twilight said. "It's okay Twi." Thomas said nonchalantly. "TWILIGHT!" Thomas yelled in fearful realization. "What?!" Twilight asked, panic creeping into her voice. "N-nothing. I just got scared when you popped up so close to me." Thomas said, laughing nervously. "Ok..." Twilight said. "C'mon let's go eat some breakfast, we have a full day ahead of us." Twilight said as she trotted down the stairs. Thomas quickly brushed his teeth and headed downstairs as well. Spike the master chief was busy preparing awesomeness for them to consume. "Here you go Thomas." Spike said as he set down a plate and a fork. "Thanks dude, this looks delicious!" Thomas said as he dug into his egg, tomato, and lettuce salad topped off with spicy jack cheese and croutons. "And here is your meal Twilight." Spike said as he placed a plate with a daisy, lettuce and, olive sandwich. "Thank you Spike." Twilight said as she begun to eat her breakfast sandwich. Spike pulled out a plate for himself and had a gem, lettuce, and tomato salad for breakfast. After eating Twilight and Spike started to head out. "Take care of the library while I'm gone, ok Spike?" Twilight asked. "No problem Twi, see you later." Spike said as they left the library. "Now, it's time for my salsa dancing." Spike said as he put on salsa music and starting swinging his wide hips. "So what are we are doing today Twi?" Thomas asked. "We're going to see Celestia today." Twilight replied. "She wants to speak with you about something important." Chapter 7- Discord finally advances the plot. Chapter 7- Discord finally advances the plot. Discord stroked his chin, deep in thought. Should I destroy Thomas now? Discord said to himself as he looked down at his watch. It was almost noon time. Nah... I'll give him a 15 minute head start first. Meanwhile back in the Canterlot Castle. "Princess Celestia, I got here as fast as I could." Twilight said. slightly out of breath as she galloped up to her mentor. "Ah, hello Twilight. It's good to see you again." Celestia said, greeting her most prized pupil with a soft smile. "But did you bring the important one?" Celestia asked, with a deep look of concern in her eyes. "Princess..." Twilight said, sounding hurt but Celestia's comment. "I'm just teasing you my most faithful student." Celestia said, chuckling a little at Twilight's reaction. Just then, a certain pony. No... wait a minute. What are you again? I'm a bear dude. Ah... A certain bear waltzed up to Celestia. "Um... you needed to talk to me princess?" Thomas asked, more confused than sure sounding. "Hello Thomas, yes I have something important to discuss with you." Celestia said, prompting Thomas to come even closer to her. "What did you want to talk with me about?" Thomas asked. "Have you ever heard of a being called Discord?" Celestia questioned. "Discord..." Thomas said, his blood running cold from the mention of his name. "Yeah princess, I have." Thomas said, after taking a few moments to regain his composure. "He was the one who send me here." Thomas explained. "But why?" Twilight asked, confused. "That doesn't make any sense whatsoever, even for Discord." Twilight concluded. "That may be, but I feel like he is planning something." Celestia said, a worried look appearing on her face. "Twilight, I want you to keep an eye on Discord. Make sure he doesn't do anything to throw Equestria in chaos." Celestia instructed. "Yes Ma'am!" Twilight said, as she want to gather the elements and her friends to safeguard Equestria. Celestia then turned and spoke to Thomas. "Thomas, I want you to come with me. My sister and I will help you get home." Celestia said. "With Discord plotting something, it's too dangerous for you to stay in Equestria for long." "We have to get you home as soon as possible." Thomas followed Celestia to her sister's room. Celestia knocked on the door. "Lulu, I need you to get up. We gotta send Thomas back." Celestia said. "Ok, sister. I'll meet you after I'm done with this match." Luna says, kinda halfhearted. "LULU! STOP PLAYING AND GET YOUR LAZY [Censored] BOOTY OUT HERE!" Celestia screamed, clearly annoyed with her sister's hesitance. "I GOTTA FINISH THIS MATCH! THE ESPORTS TOURNAMENT IS COMING UP SOON AND I GOTTA BE READY!" Luna yelled backed. "LULU! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU! LOL IS NOT A [Censored] SPORT! YOU DON'T NEED TRAINING TO PUSH A FEW BUTTONS ON A KEYBOARD!" Celestia shot back. "WHY DON'T YOU GO TO THE GYM AND TONE YOUR BOOTY? AT LEAST THEN STALLIONS WILL LOOK AT YOU." Celestia said, clearly insulting the living [censored] out of Luna. "SHUT UP! STALLIONS LIKE SMALL BOOTY TOO!" Luna screamed. "AT LEAST MY BOOTY IS FIRM AND NOT A SAGGY FAT [Censored] LIKE YOURS!" Luna said, dunking on Celestia hard. Thomas snickered a little at that one. Luckily, Celestia didn't hear him or else he would end up a bloody mess dripping down the walls. "HEY! I WORK OUT! I'M JUST BIG BONED!" Celestia said, fuming. "YEAH, YOU KEEP TELLING YOURSELF THAT!" Luna replied. "FINE! BE UNHELPFUL THEN!" Celestia said, furious "[Censored]! My sister won't help us." Celestia said to Thomas. "Guess it's up to me." "C'mon, let's go to the royal library. Perhaps star swirled will know something." Celestia instructed. Thomas followed Celestia down to the library. He whistled. "That's a [censored] ton of books!" Thomas exclaimed. Celestia smacked him on the head for yelling. "Shhhh! This is a [censored] library. Use your inside voice." Celestia scolded. "Sorry..." Thomas said quietly, rubbing his aching head. Celestia went over the star swirled the bearded section and looked at the contents. After 5 minutes of searching, she found a book. "Alright, let's crack this open and find a spell to get you home." Celestia said as she searched the book "Getting inter dimensional creatures home for beginners." "Ah ha! To get a other worldly creature home, first find out where the creature comes from." Celestia read. "Thomas, where do you come from?" Celestia asked. "Earth." Thomas replied. "Alright, step one is done, now onto-" Suddenly there was an explosion and a intense flash of light sparked overhead. A section of the library wall was blown to pieces. The debris scattering on the floor. Discord emerged from the smoke and haze. "Discord?!" Celestia yelled, surprised. "Ah, good afternoon Celestia." Discord said, his usual goofy demeanor gone. "I've come for him." Discord said, pointing a talon at Thomas. "Then after I have him, I'll-" Discord stopped himself. "You know what, I'll let you figure it out on your own." Discord said as he prepared to grab Thomas. A yellow beam of pure energy and magic arched towards him. Discord yawned and pulled Thomas in front of him. "Oh wow, using a shield. How-" Thomas said as he was about to be hit. Thomas closed his eyes and braced himself. But it never hit him. Thomas opened his eyes to see that Celestia had put a shield around him. "Let him go Discord!" Celestia demanded. "No!" "Yes!" "No one likes a mean bully Discord!" "So stop it! Stoppp it!" "...No!" "Anyway, I gotta go. I have a checklist that needs to be done." Discord said as he teleported away. Celestia fired another bolt of magic at him but it was too late. "Oh [censored]!" Celestia exclaimed in frustration. Celestia teleported to the center of Equestria and amped up her Canterlot voice to maximum and yelled for Twilight. Luckily, Twilight managed to hear it. A little too well. "Ughh... I'm here Princess." Twilight said, teleporting to her slightly loopy from her eardrums almost exploding. "Thomas has been taken by Discord!" Celestia said. "Oh no! I have to tell the others!" Twilight said as she teleported away. But Celestia still had something to tell her. "Wait Twi-" Celestia said just as Twilight finished teleporting. Twilight came back. "Yes princess?" Twilight asked. "Go tell your friends and get the Elements of Harmony to stop Discord." Celestia instructed. "Ughh... that's what I was going to do princess. You don't have to tell me how to do everything." Twilight said rolling her eyes, annoyed as she once again teleported away. "Good luck, my second best student." Celestia said as she went back to the Canterlot Castle. "Well... time to go see if Lulu will let me join her game." Celestia said as she headed over to her sister's room for some bonding. "Hey Lulu!" Celestia yelled. "What the [censored] do you want?!" Luna replied. "I'm sorry for what I said earlier. Can I play with you?" Celestia asked. "Sure sister. apology accepted. now c'mon help me gank this loser called "Xx_Sombratehanusdestroyer69_Xx." Luna said, smiling. "Ok sis! Let's wreck this [censored]!" Celestia said, laughing. Meanwhile, in Ponyville. "So girls, we know the plan right?" Twilight said, reconfirming their plan. "Yup, we go in there with our elements and kick Discord's [censored]!' Rainbow Dash yelled with confidence. "We're with ya all the way sugercube!" Applejack encouraged. "Um... can we wreck his anus gently? That is... if he doesn't mind." Fluttershy said meekly. "I'm normally against such brutish and rather sexual actions, but Thomas is our friend and I'm not going to let him be taken by that multi pieced bully!" Rarity stated rather nonchalantly. "YEAH! LET'S TEACH THAT [censored] MEANIE PANTS A LESSON!" Pinkie yelled excitedly, giggling a little after. The Mane 6 grabbed their Elements of Harmony and went to find Discord. Five minutes later, they managed to find where Discord was at. But it wasn't hard, all one had to do was follow the screams of distress from ponies ...and the fire. Plus there was some power lines that were toppled over. "Oh [censored]!" Twilight said as she surveyed the damage. The Mane 6 galloped to where Discord was. He was currently drinking some chocolate milk and sitting on a throne made of the debris of pony homes. "Discord! What have you done with Thomas?!" Twilight demanded. "Ah hello Twilight! And you're friends are here too! That's spectacular!" Discord said smiling. "All of you can watch while I destroy this fool." Discord said, as he grabbed Thomas and held him up in front of him. "No! He doesn't even know why you're doing this! We're don't even know! Let him go!" Twilight pleaded. "Why you ask?!" Discord asked with annoyance. "I hate all of you." "And I want to take over Equestria." "I used to be happy, but then one day something happened." Discord said, his voice sounding rather serious. "What happened?" Twilight asked. The others were also confused by this sudden turn of events. What happened to Discord that made him so bitter and hateful? they all wondered. "I was a young god of chaos, barely out of the school for insane geniuses when two Alicorns came up to me. "I thought they wanted to be friends." "So I invited them to join me for some chocolate milk." "They stole my chocolate milk!" Discord yelled. "So... wait. All this is because Celestia and Luna stole some milk from you?" Rainbow Dash asked. "Yup." Discord said. "Buwahahaha!" was heard as Rainbow Dash exploded with laughter. "That's so silly!" Pinkie Pie said as she tried to recover her sides. Applejack was rolling on the floor laughing. Fluttershy was giggling. And Rarity was chuckling. Rainbow Dash fell on the floor and continued laughing. In fact, she laughed so hard she almost cracked a rib. Discord started laughing a little as well. "I guess it is kinda silly when you think about it." He said as the volume of his laughter increased. Soon Discord was rolling on the on Applejack and Rainbow. Twilight just stood there with a confused look on her face. "Wait girls! What about Thomas?!" Twilight asked with a look of concern on her face. "Ah yes Thomas." Discord said as he stopped laughing. The rest of the Mane 6 stopped laughing too. "Are you looking for this?" Discord said as he picked up Thomas and hoisted him up. Thomas wiggled in Discord's grasp. "Let me go dude!" Thomas said annoyed. "Yes! Give him back!" Twilight yelled. "No! While that was a good laugh. This is serious business." Discord said pointing to Thomas. "But... why me?" Thomas asked as he looked at Discord. "What do you have against me?" Thomas said. "Nothing. You were just unlucky enough to be caught by me!" Discord yelled as he prepared to bite Thomas. "AH! DUDE WHAT THE [censored] is wrong with you?!" Thomas said as he tried to escape so he didn't end up a afternoon snack. Thomas did the only thing he could in a situation like this. He started trying to beat the living [censored] out of Discord. Twilight started shooting bolts of magic at Discord. It interrupted his meal. "Hmm.. I'll deal with you later." Discord said as he dropped Thomas. Luckily Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy caught him. Discord roared and charged at Twilight intending to rip her apart with his talons. "Girls! Use the Elements!" Twilight said as she narrowly avoided being bit by Discord. "NOW!" Twilight screamed as Discord knocked her off balance and lunged at her. The Mane 6 focused their power of friendship and the Elements of Harmony activated. But... instead of turning Discord into stone, it simply knocked him out. Twilight hastily teleported Discord's unconscious body out of Equestria. "Pheww..." Twilight said wiping the sweat off her forehead. "That was a close one. I was almost chow for a evil nutjob." Thomas said as the rest of the girls hugged him. But Twilight just stood there. Thomas went over to her. "Twi I-" Thomas began to say but was cut off. Twilight tackled him into a hug. Twilight cried a little. Just kidding, she cried a lot. "Never do something that stupid again!" "Trying to punch out a god! What the [censored] were you thinking?" "You could have died!" "I know." Thomas said as he hugged Twilight back. "I was an idiot. I was lucky that you girls were hear to save me." Thomas said as he Thomas stroked Twilight's hairly softly. "It's okay Twilight. Don't cry I'm okay." "Besides your hair gets all frizzled when you start bawling." Twilight sniffled a little and smiled. "You jerk! Take that back!" Twilight said, pouting in mock anger. "Nope!" Thomas said as he ran away from Twilight. I definitely know I'm going to enjoy staying here. Thomas thought as he laughed as Twilight continued to try to catch him. Meanwhile in a pocket dimension. "You think you've won Thomas. But I'll be back." Discord said. "And this time I'm going to take away someone you care about." Discord starting laughing manically while staring at a wall filled with pictures of Thomas and his friends. A microwave dinged. "Ohhh! My tamales are done!" Discord said as he went to get them. Chapter 7.5- An average day in Ponyville. Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.Chapter 8- Discord! You haven't gone far enough bud. Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter. Chapter 3- The one where Miss Harshwhinny tells Thomas off.Chapter 3- The one where Miss Harshwhinny tells Thomas off. Thomas stared into the crowd. He didn't know what else to do. "... Where am I?" Thomas asked in a shaky voice. Thomas heard whispering. "It can talk?" "Is that a bear?! What's it doing in the Equestrian Games?" one pony said. "Mommy, I want some ice cream!" a little filly said. "Mommy is busy trying to get into the pants of Filthy Rich." the mother replied. "Just get on with it." another pony said impatiently. It just made him even more confused. "Stay calm everypony!" Thomas yelled. "I come in peace!" Thomas said. "Oh my sweet merciful almighty Celestia! He can talk!" One pony said then promptly fainted. "Burn the heathen!" Another pony said. "Pitchforks... get your Pitchforks..." A salespony said to the audience in the stands. "Torches... get your torches..." Another salespony said. "cotton candy..." A cotton candy vendor said. "Get your cotton candy." "Can't start a riot without cotton candy." The cotton candy vendor said repeating his sales pitch. The ponies looked at him, then continued to trot towards Thomas. They surrounded Thomas. "Hey guys, what's going on?" Thomas said. "Destroy the non- believer!" One pony yelled. "Hey guys, put me down!" Thomas yelled as he was lifted up by pony magic. Is this how ends... am I going to die by the hooves of angry candy colored ponies? Thomas thought back to his childhood. Thomas age 5. "Whoa mom, look at how cool my Lego death mech is!" Thomas said excited. "Good job honey!" Thomas's mother said. "That's a awesome death mech! but it could use some improvements." Thomas's mom said slyly. She helped her son build a 50 foot Lego death mech. "Thanks mom! You're the coolest!" Thomas said happily. Present day. "Everypony, calm down!" Miss Harshwhinny said. "What the [censored] did she just say." one pony said. "Speak up you meek [censored.]" another pony said, "I think she said everypony watch out for clowns." one slick pony said. "But why would we be afraid of clowns? They don't hurt ponies." Another one said confused. "Harshwhinny you's stupid." one pony said. "Umm... Twi what should we do now?" Rainbow asked. "Yeah Twilight, this here awkward silence is killing me." Applejack said. "Literally." Pinkie Pie said as she watched Applejack slowly fade away. "Calm down girls, we just gotta remember one thing." Twilight said confidently. "And what may that be Darling?" Rarity asked. "Just smile and wave girls. just smile and wave." Twilight said. The 6 element bearers smiled and waved. But Miss Harshwhinny could see through their somewhat clever facade. Miss Harshwhinny cleared her throat. "I SAID TO CALM THE [CENSORED] DOWN!" "IS THAT LOUD ENOUGH FOR YOU!?" "Ow! My ears..." one pony said. "What did she said?!" another replied. "Miss Harshwhinny speak up! I can't hear you over the [censored] ringing in my ears!" Rainbow Dash yelled. "What the [censored] did she just said?!" Fluttershy yelled as she Rainbow flips in the air. Miss Harshwhinny was mad now. So very mad. She was so mad that even Thomas started to get as far away as possible from her. Thomas knew that [censored] was about to go down. Miss Harshwhinny pulled out two giant speakers. "GET YOUR [CENSORED] TOGETHER EQUESTRIA! WE GOT SOME GAMES TO PLAY!" She yelled. Miss Harshwhinny then straightened her clothes and hair. Then she resumed speaking in a more professional tone. "I will tell this bear off, resume the games!" Miss Harshwhinny then commanded. Somehow, probably due to them being gods. Luna and Celstia managed to hear her and continued the games. "Hello Mr. the bear." Miss Harshwhinny said curtly. "I'm the inspector for these games, Miss Harshwhinny." "Hello Ma'am, I'm Thomas. Where am-" "You're at the 25th Annual Equestrian Games. And quite frankly you were interrupting the flow of the game." "You been quite naughty Mr. the bear." Miss Harshwhinny said licking her lips. "Please, you have to understand. It's been so long such anything stallion related touched me." Miss Harshwhinny said sadly. "I want this so bad." Miss Harshwhinny said panting heavily. "Why are you so out of breath?" Thomas asked very confused. "I'm just excited is all." Miss Harshwhinny said nonchalantly. "Really cause it looks like-" "Get you mind out of the gutter." MissHarshwhinny said. "And put my mind into one." MissHarshwhinny said as she took off her suit. "Um... Miss HarshWhinny, what the [censored] do you think you're doing?!" Thomas asked. "I thought we were going to do it?" Miss Harshwhinny said confused. "I never agreed to that!" Thomas yelled. "But I hate seeing you so lonely." Thomas said conflicted. "So you'll bend me over and [censored] my brains out?" Miss Harshwhinny asked with hope. "No..." Thomas replied curtly. "You need to take things slow with somepony you like." Thomas said. "Don't just go for [censored]." Thomas said. "At least win and dine first."Thomas said with a smile. "You're right Mr. the bear." Miss Harshwhinny said with realization. "Forgive me for that." Miss Harshwhinny said. "How about I give you something to tie you over until the next pony comes along eh?" Thomas asked. "Oh? What would that be?" Miss Harshwhinny asked. Five minutes later. "Oh... that was a wonderful backrub Mr.the bear." Miss Harshwhinny said smiling. "I'm glad you enjoyed it." Thomas said happily. He was just happy that Miss Harshwhinny hadn't [censored] him earlier. Then Miss Harshwhinny scowled. "Oh my... professionalism. almost forgot." "What?" Thomas asked very confused. "Please leave the Equestrian Games Mr. the bear. You must understand that this universe dislikes you." Miss Harshwhinny said. "No!" Thomas said. He was hurt that Miss Harshwhinny was doing this. But why though? She was being somewhat nice earlier. I suppose the universe does dislike me Thomas thought. "Too bad. Get used to it." Miss Harhwhinny said. "You [censored]!" Thomas yelled, obviously hurt. "Heheh! Aren't you a charming one?" Miss Harshwhinny teased. Thomas just grumbled something about crazy ponies and left the Equestrian Games. And the legend of Thomas the talking bear doormat started spreading. Discord was probably somewhere watching all of this and laughing his [censored] off.
Chapter 1- This day just got a whole lot weirder.Thomas woke up and stretched. "Ahh! Another beautiful day in Wyoming!" He said as he saw the sun poking its head out. Its bright rays greeted him to a beautiful Monday. Thomas started getting ready to go to work. He brushed the fur on his head. Brushed his teeth. And made sure that his suit was free of wrinkles. Then Thomas crawled out of his cave home. "Hey Tom!" Frank said. Frank was Tom's best friend. Well his only friend. He was a medium sized bear with a mohawk. He also had some tattoos, mostly of various types of leaves that he liked. Rather intimidating at first but a friendly bear once you got to know him. Thomas didn't really make any friends at the workplace. He preferred to focus on his work. "Oh hey Frank, how have you been?" "Good, you heading to work?" "Yeah, I gotta take care of some squirrels that are bothering the boss." "Good luck! Nasty little critters..." Frank said. "See ya frank." Thomas said as he continued to head to work. Thomas made it to his workplace in 25 minutes. "Hey Tom, I need you to get rid of those Squirrels by the afternoon!" Thomas's boss Delone yelled. Thomas's boss was a old grizzled bear, claimed he had fought in some forest wars. Thomas used to grab some fish with him when he had the time. "On it boss!" Thomas said as went outside his workplace to scare off the squirrels. Thomas roared and jumped at them. The squirrels scattered. All except for one. This squirrel was Archie. Shady type of squirrel, rumors had it that he ran some type of gang. The bird cops found that he was selling drugs too. No animal wanted to screw him over. "Thomas..." The head squirrel gang leader said casually. "Archie, cut the niceties. I want your crew to lay off of Delone." Thomas said curtly. "Alright Thomas, I'll do this favor for you." Archie said "But you owe me Thomas, you better pay up, or else someone's losing a paw. You got me?" Thomas flinched slightly at the thought. "Yeah, Archie. I got you." "Good." The gang leader then disappeared into the greenery. Thomas went back to his boss. "I took care of the squirrels boss. They won't be bothering you anymore." "Good job Thomas! I knew I could count on you." Thomas got started on the stack of paperwork he was suppose to do. "Thomas." Delone said. "Yes boss?" Thomas asked. "Why don't you take the rest of the day off?" "Boss?" Thomas asked confused. "You helped me deal with those annoying squirrels earlier, so I feel this is a proper reward." "Thanks boss!" Thomas said happily. Thomas left his workplace and went home. He decided that since he had nothing else to do, may as well sleep. Thomas had woken up from a bad dream in a cold sweat. That was a weird dream, I was trapped in a hospital in another world Thomas thought. Thomas started laughing at the ridiculousness of it all. "Doctor! He's waking up!" A pony nurse said. Thomas just stared at her. And stared. And kept staring until the doctor came up to him and asked him if he was okay. "Talking horses... What the [Censored]!" Then he fainted. How could this all go wrong? Thomas thought. Then he remembered what brought him here. Discord! I'm gonna [Censor] him! Thomas thought. Flashback- Monday night. "Ahh! That was some good fish!" Thomas said as he rubbed his belly. Of course, it sounded more like "Arghhgghghg..." any human ear listening. After Thomas ate his fill, he decided to explore. However, as Thomas neared a recent unexplored cave. Something incredible happened. A strange creature with the body of what appeared to be a Dragon, the talons of a Griffon. and the leg of a Dragon and Minotaur appeared in a flash of light. The one thing Thomas noticed immediately was those red eyes that stared into his very soul. "Hello! My friend! Wouldn't you like to go on a magical adventure in another world?." Discord said, while juggling nine chainsaws, a rhino, and 20 scorpions that were on fire. "Um, no... what are you?" "Who are you?" "How can you understand me?" "Bah! You ask too many questions my fur covered friend... don't you wanna leave this world?" "No." Thomas said firmly. "But why not? What's so great here that would make you want to stay?" "I got a house, food, and don't have to pay animal taxes." "Hmph. You're no fun." Discord said with annoyance. Then Discord snapped his fingers. Wyoming disappeared in an instant. Thomas then noticed they were transported to some type of white space. "Where are we?!" Thomas said. "What's going on?!!" He said in a more panicky voice. "Relax. It's just a pocket dimension." "Pocket dimension?" "Yes." Discord then made the motion of grabbing and tearing it. Thomas was confused at first, but then he realized that Discord had tore a hole through the dimension. Without waiting for Thomas to even complain or protest Discord told him "You're going there." Discord pointed to the dimensional tear. Thomas took a closer look, And noticed some ponies. It was strange seeing them walk around and have a functioning society. But then again, Thomas was a talking bear. "No way man, err weird dragon dude." "I'm wanna go back to Wyoming." "Too bad, so sad..." Discord said with mock sympathy. "Why are you-" Thomas didn't even get to finish his sentence as he was lifted up with Discord's magic. "Land on the trees, they hurt less than the ground. you dip[Censored]." Discord said with a evil smile. "Wait. why are you-" "Ahhh! What the [Censored]?!" Thomas cried out as Discord flung him into the dimensional tear.
Chapter 2- Talking horses are real?! Chapter 2- Talking horses are real?! Thomas has fainted again... He wasn't known for being a brave bear. But this was just embarrassing. Not like the ponies would hurt him, would they? He woke up again. "Ughhh..." Thomas said while rubbing his head. He realized that he was still in Ponyville General. Thomas was trying very hard to accept this. You could tell because he started sweating buckets. "So, how are you feeling sir?" Doctor Redline asked. "You talk." Thomas said stunned. "Why yes, that is how ponies communicate with one another." "This is unbelievable." Thomas said with a sigh. "Why is that?" Doctor Redline questioned. "I've woken up in a hospital with talking horses." Thomas said. "Ponies sir, we'reponies." Doctor Redline. "Oh, my bad." Thomas said with a embarrassed laugh. "It's okay. Not every day this hospital gets a patient as strange as you either." Doctor Redline said. "Why's that?" Thomas asked. "You talk." Doctor Redline replied. "What's so strange about that?" Thomas asked slightly hurt. "Bears don't talk in our world." Doctor Redline answered sternly. "Nooooooo!" Thomas yelled out in grief. "I'm getting out of here." Thomas said with determination. "But you haven't filled out your medical records... we don't even know who you are." Doctor Redline replied. "I'm Thomas." Thomas quickly said. "Nice to meet you Thomas, I'm Doctor Redline." Doctor Redline said. "Doctor?" Thomas asked. "Yes Thomas, what do you need?" "Can I go now?" Thomas asked bluntly. "No." Doctor Redline said. "But why?" Thomas whined. "You need to rest. we found you unconscious with three broken ribs." Doctor Redline explained. "Ha ha! Wait... did you say three broken ribs?" Thomas asked with worry. "Yes I did." Doctor Redline said with a smirk. Thomas tried to sit up. "Ow! Ow! Pain!" Thomas said. "Told you so." Doctor Redline said. "Fine... I'll stay in this horse hospital." Thomas grumbled. "We're ponies!" Doctor Redline said as he left the room. Three weeks later. Thomas's first friend was a Pegasus named Swift. Yeah... that's it. Thomas was a little suspicious of this one because he wouldn't even tell him his last name. "Say Swift?" Thomas said. "Yeah Tom?" Swift asked. "What's your last name?" Thomas asked. "Ughhh.... dude." Swift said facehoofing. "I've told you like a hundred times already how do you keep forgetting?" "I dunno." "Exactly." "It's Landing." "Landing?" Thomas said. "Yeah." Swift said. Thomas tried not to pee himself laughing at the name. "Hahaha! Swift Landing!" Thomas said laughing loudly. "Oh yeah?! Well... you don't even have a last name!" Swift said. "I don't..." Thomas said sadly. "Holy sweet celestia on a stick, you don't?!" Swift asked shocked. "No... don't remember my parents giving me one." "I'm sorry dude. I didn't mean-" "Got ya. It's Barington." Thomas said with a smile. "Haha!, yeah dude you got me." Swift said with a laugh. "I'm gonna go grab some grub wanna join me?" Thomas asked. "Sorry dude, but I gotta go back to my room, doctors don't like me flying around with one broken wing." "Alright dude see ya." Thomas said as he waved. "Bye dude." Swift said as he flew back to his room. Thomas went into the cafeteria. He found another one of his friends there. He decide to join him for lunch. "Hey Flashlight! What's up?" Thomas asked as he sit down. "Oh hey Thomas! How you been bro?!" Flashlight yelled Flashlight was one of Thomas's friends in the hospital. He was a light gray unicorn, with a giant orange afro. and a golf ball cutie mark. He looked a bit odd. But overall he was nice, if a little bit too excited at times. "I've been good Flash." Thomas said. "That's good man." Flash said. "Say Tom..." Flash began. "Yeah Flash?" Tom said. "Don't drink the yellow snow!" Flash yelled in a panic. "Umm... dude. You ok?" Thomas asked concerned. "Don't do it man! It's poison!" Flash said as he started foaming at the mouth. "Don't worry bro! I'll get help!" Thomas said. Thomas ran out of the cafeteria into the hallway. "HELP! SOMEPONY HELP FLASHLIGH!" Thomas yelled. Doctors and nurses ran into the cafeteria and sedated Flashlight. The last thing Thomas heard from him was something about not eating the Rainbow colored mushrooms. Later that night. Thomas was woken up by some thumping sounds. "Hey Swift is that you?" Thomas called out into the dark. Thomas got up and started walking down the hall. He saw a lone figure standing there. "Hey dude, can you keep it down I'm trying to-" Thomas's words died in his throat as the pony turned it's head 180 degrees and faced him. "What the [Censored] are you?!" Thomas yelled. "Oh... you really don't recognize me?" The mystery pony asked. "Maybe it's this form." Suddenly the being turned into a very familiar combination of animals. "Discord." Thomas said with shock. "Ding ding ding! A winner is you!" Discord said happily. "So you really wanna get out of here don't you?" Discord said as he wrapped himself around Thomas. "N..No. I don't." Thomas said afraid of what discord would do. Thomas could feel that he was going to lose control of his bowels if Discord didn't let go soon. "Please let go..." Thomas said weakly. "Why should I?" Discord asked. "If you don't I'm gonna make a mess on you." Thomas said. "Oh... how marvelous! I gotta get some popcorn for this." Discord said. "Or maybe some laughy chews." Discord said pondering which one he should get to eat and watch Thomas suffer. Thomas took this opportunity of distraction to carefully try to slip away. He had just dropped to the ground when Discord looked down and noticed him trying to escape. "No running in the halls." Discord said as he lifted a running Thomas with his magic. "LET ME GO!" Thomas yelled. All the commotion caused all the hospital staff to slowly gather around and demand that Discord release Thomas. "Let's go somewhere a little more private hmm." Discord said as he teleported Thomas and himself to the outskirts of Ponyville. Discord let Thomas go. Only to lift him up again with his magic. "See what I meant Thomas, isn't Equestria more fun than that place you call Wyoming?" Discord said with a smirk. "For you maybe!" Thomas yelled back. "I just wanna go home you crazy [Censored]!" Thomas said. "Ahh... It seems we still haven't learned how to respect our elders." Discord said. Discord snapped his fingers once again. This time Thomas was in the middle of the Equestrian Games.
Chapter 4- Get your groove on! Chapter 4- Get your groove on! Thomas stumbled out of the Equestrian Games Stadium. He was wet, cold, and hungry. He walked along a small bridge in Ponyville... until he saw something that piqued his interest. It looks like a bar. Thomas thought as he walked in. "Pheeew..." Thomas said. Finally, I can get something to drink around here. maybe even some food. Thomas thought. "What'll it be son?" The barkeep asked. "I'll take a scotch on the rocks." Thomas replied. "And a plate of super cheesy nachos." Thomas added. "Here's your order sir." The Barkeep said. "Enjoy." "Thanks." Thomas said as he dug into the food. It's beautiful... Thomas thought. After Thomas finished the food he sighed happily. "That was some good grub." Thomas said quietly. "Heh, you got that right." A voice said. "Frank, get me a vodka martini." Spike said. "Here ya go boss." Frank said. "Thanks." Spike said as he starting sipping. Thomas turned and saw a small purple dragon. "Ey dude, Aren't you a little young to be sitting here?" Thomas asked curiously. "Hey! I got my I.D!" Spike said as he showed his I.D to Thomas. "Sorry about that, it's just that you look young." Thomas apologized. "No worries. It happens." Spike said. "I'm Thomas, by the way." Thomas said. "Spike." Spike said. "So, Spike why are you here?" Thomas asked. "To dance my [censored] off and to get some [censored]!" Spike said. "Cool..." Thomas said. "What about you?" Spike asked. "I'm just here to grab some grub and a drink." Thomas. "And miss out on the dance floor?!" Spike said. "Bro... don't you wanna shake it and have fun!" Spike asked. "Not really dude." Thomas said. "Aw! C'mon dude! don't be a party pooper!" Spike said. Thomas was about to said something in response when he stopped. Spike stopped as well and looked at him. "What are you-" "Oh... I see." Spike said with understanding. "See what?" Thomas asked. "I see you checking Vinyl's records." Spike said with a laugh. "Dude, I've been at this game a lot longer than you and let me tell you something." Spike said. "It's not gonna work." Spike said bluntly. Spike then proceeded to tell Thomas about what happened between him and Rarity. Thomas couldn't help but laugh his [censored] off. In fact, he laughed so hard he fell off his bar stool. "You were her [censored] for years and even after all that she wouldn't even go out with you?!" Thomas said still laughing. Spike got angry. "Hey! if you think it's so easy why don't you try getting Vinyl!" Spike challenged. "Oh! is that a challenge I smell?" Thomas said. "I accept! prepare to eat your words!" Thomas said determined. This'll be a piece of cake. Thomas thought. After all, how hard can it be to get a DJ to date you? Thomas learned the hard way that this was no easy task. Thomas strolled up to Vinyl. "Hey... babycakes. I noticed you got some pretty kickin' records." Thomas said with his smoothest voice. Vinyl took off her headphones for a few seconds. "Glad you're enjoying the beats dude!" she said. Then she returned to the beats. Thomas was surprised. Darn! Missed my chance. Gotta be faster than that. Thomas thought. Thomas started gesturing wildly with his claws. This got her attention for a little bit. "Hey... I was just wondering. if you wanted to chill with me later." Thomas yelled. "No! I don't know anypony named Icy Phil!" Vinyl yelled back in response. "Not Phil! Chill!" Thomas yelled. "Do you wanna chill with me?!" But it was too late. Vinyl had gone back to her music. One lost chance! Gotta get this right or else Spike will never let me hear the end of this. Thomas thought. Thomas got on the dance floor and started to dance. He starting pointing at Vinyl and then back at him. Eventually Vinyl started paying attention to him. Although she couldn't really see what he was trying to signal so she started to lean towards him. Thomas then started dancing. His moves were so awesome that Vinyl instantly fell in love with him! Hahaha... NO! Vinyl noticed his moves all right. But she was creeped out by them. Thomas really wanted to get the message across so in his excitement... He decided that Pelvic Thrusting was the best way to get and keep her attention. From Vinyl's point of view, it looked like he was telling her that he wanted to [censored]. Instead of dance with her. Vinyl just looked away in disgust. Thomas had realized that he failed hard. Spike walked over to him and put a claw on his shoulder. "Dude, it's okay. you tried." Spike said with a smile. "Yeah... thanks for not making fun of me." Thomas said with a defeated look. "Hey! You got further than I ever did." Spike said happily. "Eh, good job on trying to get Rarity too." Thomas said. "Much have not been easy." "Believe me, it wasn't." Spike said bluntly. "Hey spike... I was wondering if I could ask you a favor?" Thomas asked nervously. "What is it dude?" Spike said. "I was wondering if I could stay with you. Since I don't have a place to stay at." Thomas. Spike looked at him coldly. Thomas got even more nervous and start sweating. Spike then dropped the look and started laughing, smiling at Thomas. "Haha! Of course dude!" Spike said. "That wasn't funny I thought I was gonna end up homeless!" Thomas said. "Dude, you're like the only other guy that different in Ponyville." Spike said. "I wouldn't leave you hanging like that." Spike said. "So, are we friends then?" Thomas asked. "Sure dude!" Spike said as he fist bumped Thomas. "Thanks Spike!" Thomas said. "No problem dude!" Spike replied. Spike and Thomas stumbled back to Twilight's Library. Spike knocked on the door. "Twilight, open up I got a friend who needs help and [censored]!" Spike said. "Spike, where have you been do you have any-" Twilight saw Thomas. "H... hello, I'm Twilight Sparkle, and who might you be?" "I'm Thomas." Thomas said then laughed his [censored] off because he was too dam drunk. Thomas had passed out in front of Twilight. Twilight sighed then brought them both in. "Thomas you can sleep... over there." Twilight said. "And as for you Spike, get showered and go to bed!" Twilight yelled. "Huh what? Oh Rarity... that feels amazing." Spike said in semi sober state. "Spiiiiiike!" Twilight called out in a singing voice. "GET YOUR LAZY [CENSORED.] UP! AND GO TO BED! YOU [CENSORED!]" Twilight yelled. "Ahhh! Holy [censored.] I'm awake! I'm awake!" Spike said in a panic as he run upstairs to get ready for bed. "As for you... I guess I have no choice but to share a bed with you." Twilight said to the still passed out Thomas. Early Morning Spike woke up to some loud thumping noises coming from Twilight's room. Spike pressed his ear to a wall and listened trying to figure out what was going on. He then heard this. "Uggh! Twilight.... I'm trying to fit inside but it's too small!" Thomas said frustrated. "Keep trying Thomas! Come On! Come On! Push it in harder dam it!" Twilight yelled. "Oh yes! Sweet Celestia [censored] yes!" Twilight screamed. After a few minutes of their cries of happiness, Spike then heard "I'm almost there Twilight!" Thomas cried out. "Come on! Keep going!" Twilight said. Spike then heard a pop and then "Yes! Thomas! Yes!" Twilight screamed out in pure bliss. "That was amazing Twilight." Thomas said panting heavily. Spike almost knocked down the door trying to get in. Once he did, he spoke a few choice words. "WHAT THE [CENSORED] ARE YOU DOING?! THAT'S MY SIS-" Spike then noticed that Thomas was missing. Twilight looked at Spike confused. Spike found him outside on the ground. "Hey dude!" Thomas said and waved. "Wait, you mean you guys weren't..?" Spike said confused. "But the noises I heard they-" "That was just Thomas and I celebrating our success at getting him out the window." Twilight explained. "He wouldn't fit so I had to push him out using my magic." Twilight explained further. "Oh, so that wasn't..?" Spike said. "No Spike, I wouldn't do that type of stuff around you." Twilight said. "I would at least tell you first so you could go someplace quiet." Twilight said with a smile. "Oh good!" Spike said wiping the sweat off his brow.
Chapter 5- Discord? I thought you disappeared from this?!Chapter 5- Discord? I thought you disappeared from this?! Thomas was having a awesome time in Ponyville. He had almost forgotten about wanting to go home. Almost... Thomas had sat on the ground. He thought about why he was send to Equestria? Was it because Discord was just bored and decided to torment somebear? Or was there a deeper meaning behind his arrival here. Just as Thomas was about to come to a conclusion A flash of light appeared and Discord emerged. "Hello Thomas! Enjoying Ponyville? Well.. are ya?" Discord said happily. "What do you want?" Thomas said coldly. "Ouch! That's hurts Tommy, I thought we were friends." Discord say faking a hurt look. "I'll never be friends with someone as crazy as you!" Thomas said. "Oh, but think about it, haven't you always wondered what it would be like?" Discord asked. [Happy music plays in the background] Thomas started imagining life with Discord as his friend. "Well..." Thomas started. No, bad brain! No having friend fantasies about the crazy guy errr.. dragon thing! Thomas thought. "No! I still refuse." Thomas said. "Bah! You're no fun." Discord said. "But I would be a lot more careful from now on Thomas." "I could pop up when you leastexpect it." "And I'll keep doing it until you take my talon in friendship." Discord said curtly. "Whatever..." Thomas said lazily. Although Thomas was too busy trying to enjoy the day, he had no idea what chaos he had just put upon himself. Discord appeared at the most uncomfortable of times. In the shower. "Yeah! Gonna take this shower!" Thomas said as he stepped into the bathtub. He turned on the water and let it pour over him. It relaxed him, just as he starting nodding off... A blinding white light appeared. Discord popped out of that light. "Hello Thomas..." Discord said smugly. "Ahh! DIscord What the [censored]!" "I'm taking a [censored] shower! Get out!" "Not until you accept my friendship boo." Discord put on his best puppy eyes. "Pleaseee." "No." "Fine, be like that Thomas." Discord snapped his a finger and disappeared. The next day. "Twilight, I'm getting some groceries. you want anything?" Thomas asked. "Some potatoes would be fine." Twilight. "Alright!" Thomas said as he headed out of the library. He want into the market stalls. "Hi, can I have some blueberries?" Thomas asked. "Of course, that will be 5 bits." The pony merchant said. "Here ya go." Thomas said. "Thank you for your business." The pony merchant said happily. Thomas walked over to the next stall. "He can I have some-" "Discord?! What the [censored]?!" "Hi Thomas. Wanna be friends now?" "No!" " Can you please [censored] off so I can buy my groceries and go home?" "No. you have to be my friend." "No I don't." "Ok Thomas, you wanna play hardball? then let's play." Discord disappeared once again. Thomas got back to Twilight's place. "I'm back." Thomas said. "Oh did you get the potatoes?" Twilight asked. "Here." Thomas gave Twilight the potatoes. "Thanks." Twilight said. "I'm going to go to bed early tonight." Thomas said. "Ok, be sure to wash up." Twilight said. Thomas went up to his room. "Ahh.. finally I can get some sleep." "Hello again Thomas." "No go away." "One day Thomas, one day." Discord disappeared. The next couple of weeks. Discord appeared everywhere Thomas did. In the bathroom. "Please?" "No [censored] off." In the shower. "C'mon." "Nope." In his dreams. "I love you Thomas." "Really... I love-" "Thomas please." "What the [censored] man, I'll having a moment!" Even paying his taxes. "Twilight do you have any extra tax return-" "Boss please." "No." Finally Thomas caved. He became Discord's friend on a Tuesday. "Thomassss.... Be my friend." "Ughhh... do you promise to stop annoying me?" "I promise." "Fine." "Thank you Thomas! You won't regret this." Thomas whispers "I'm already starting to." Discord asks "What was that?" "Nothing..." Thomas said looking innocent. The next morning. "Good morning Twilight." Thomas said. "Good morning Spike." Thomas said. "Good morning Discord." Thomas said nonchalantly. "Wait... DIscord?!" "What the [censored] are you doing here?!!!" Thomas asked freaking out. "Oh wait..." "Now I remember." "Hello friend..." Thomas said between clenched teeth. "Good Morning Thomas!" Discord said happily. This library was just about to get a lot more interesting. "YOU DID WHAT?!!" Twilight said freaking out. "TWILIGHT CALM DOWN, HE'S A FRIEND." Thomas yelled back. "MAYBE TO YOU, BUT DO YOU REALIZE WHAT'S HE'S DONE TO EQUESTRIA?!!" Twilight said angrily. "I KNOW, BUT PONIES CAN CHANGE!" Thomas said. After Twilight starting not hyperventilating, she calmed down. "Fine... but if he causes any trouble. I'm going to blame it on you." Twilight said. "Don't be such a [censored] Twi." Thomas said. "I'm a [censored]? says the person who brought Discord into my home." Twilight said curtly. "Twilight, just trust me on this okay? I'll make him see the error of his ways and change." Thomas said. "Fine..." Twilight said, still rather skeptic. "I'll trust you." "Thank you." "C'mon let me grab you a hayburger to say sorry." Thomas said smiling. Twilight giggled. "It better be a good one." Twilight said turning that frown upside down. "It'll be good, besides I'm the one paying for it." Thomas said. And they went to get some hayburgers. Twilight accept his apology and promptly ate it as fast as she could. Thomas was right though, that was one good hayburger. Twilight thought. Hello World! Pinkie go away. Aww... but I wanna talk to your audience. Pinkie... don't make me get the laser rifle. You meanie! I'm sorry Pinkie. I'll let you talk to them some other time ok? Okay... But you're such a big meanie pants. Well... it's true.
Chapter 6- You're good now right? Chapter 6- You're good now right? Thomas sauntered his way over to Discord. But there was just one little problem. He was nervous. Fur soaked, eyes bugged, paws clammy sort of nervous. Just calm down, it's no big deal... Thomas told himself. He took a couple of deep breaths. "Hey Discord." Thomas said, as he tried to control the violently shaking in his paws. He was only trying to reform a malicious GOD who hated his guts. No big deal at all. "Hmm.. who is-" Discord said as he turned around to face Thomas. "Oh... Hello Thomas." Discord said, the corners of his mouth curving in a evil smile. "I need you to stop doing that." Thomas said, getting more nervous by the second. "But isn't smiling what friends do?" Discord said, as his faked a hurt look. "We're not friends!" Thomas yelled out angrily. "Um, I mean- you gotta stop trying to ruin Equestria." Thomas said, trying to not sound scared. "Oh? Why should i?" Discord questioned, hoisting Thomas up to eye level with his tail. "It's not nice bro." Thomas said in an annoyed tone. "Fine." Discord said with a bored looked on his face. "I'll play along." Discord said after a slight pause. "But know this... you cross me I'll end you. Got it?" Discord said coldly. "Yup." Thomas said gulping. "Good. So new friend what now?" Discord asked. "Let's party!" Thomas yelled out with excitement, "Wooo!" Five hours later... "I'll admit Thomas, I enjoyed that more than I should have." Discord said, looking slightly embarrassed. "C'mon dude, lighten up!" Thomas said grinning, "Live a little!" He said with a encouraging smile. "I..." Discord said still unsure. "You're right Thomas. I should have more fun." Discord said with a goofy smile. "Yeah dude, I gotta go. But I'll hang out with you sometime ok?" Thomas asked. "I would like that." Discord said with a toothy smile. "Alright bye Discord!" Thomas said as he hurried back to Twilight's house. "See you later Thomas." Discord said as he waved a paw. Once Thomas was out of earshot, Discord spoke again. "Yes... go off to your little house Thomas, but know this. I will destroy you and then take over Equestria once more." "Hahaha! Who can stop me?!" Discord yelled crazily. "WHO?" Discord cried out as he cackled evilly. Thomas woke up covered in a cold sweat. "DISCORD IS GONNA TAKE OVER EQUESTRIA! AHHH!" He screamed in terror. "Oh no sweetie did you have another nightmare?" Twilight said with concern as she turned to face him. "W- what?" Thomas said spluttering. "Um..." He began. "Why are you in my bed?" Thomas asked, afraid to get the answer. "We're married silly!" Twilight said giggling a little. "What the [Censored?!!!]" Thomas yelled, more confused than anything now. "I'm getting out of here." Thomas said as he tried to slid out of their bed. But Twilight pinned him down. "Thomas... I thought you loved me, why do you want to leave?" Twilight asked with a depressed look in her eyes. Thomas choked a little under the weight of Twilight. "Air!" He cried out. But Twilight refused to let him go. Instead, she did something even stranger than before. Twilight started to rub his chest gently. She made those little circles that people with SOs do. Luickly, she relaxed her grip a little so Thomas managed to gulp back some sweet refreshing air. "Twi, enough of this. Let me go!" Thomas said, getting more annoyed by the second. "No! You're stay with me foreverrrr" Twilight said with a crazed look in her eyes. "AHHHH!" Thomas screamed, as a look of pure terror gripped him. Suddenly the dream ended. Somepony was shaking him. "Hey Thomas. Wake up." A voice called out to him. Thomas vision was blurry at first but after a few seconds he adjusted. Twilight was standing in front of him. "Gah!" Thomas said as he continued getting shooken. "I'm awake!" He cried out. Twilight stopped shaking him. "Sorry about that, but you wouldn't wake up when I called out to you." Twilight said. "It's okay Twi." Thomas said nonchalantly. "TWILIGHT!" Thomas yelled in fearful realization. "What?!" Twilight asked, panic creeping into her voice. "N-nothing. I just got scared when you popped up so close to me." Thomas said, laughing nervously. "Ok..." Twilight said. "C'mon let's go eat some breakfast, we have a full day ahead of us." Twilight said as she trotted down the stairs. Thomas quickly brushed his teeth and headed downstairs as well. Spike the master chief was busy preparing awesomeness for them to consume. "Here you go Thomas." Spike said as he set down a plate and a fork. "Thanks dude, this looks delicious!" Thomas said as he dug into his egg, tomato, and lettuce salad topped off with spicy jack cheese and croutons. "And here is your meal Twilight." Spike said as he placed a plate with a daisy, lettuce and, olive sandwich. "Thank you Spike." Twilight said as she begun to eat her breakfast sandwich. Spike pulled out a plate for himself and had a gem, lettuce, and tomato salad for breakfast. After eating Twilight and Spike started to head out. "Take care of the library while I'm gone, ok Spike?" Twilight asked. "No problem Twi, see you later." Spike said as they left the library. "Now, it's time for my salsa dancing." Spike said as he put on salsa music and starting swinging his wide hips. "So what are we are doing today Twi?" Thomas asked. "We're going to see Celestia today." Twilight replied. "She wants to speak with you about something important."
Chapter 7- Discord finally advances the plot. Chapter 7- Discord finally advances the plot. Discord stroked his chin, deep in thought. Should I destroy Thomas now? Discord said to himself as he looked down at his watch. It was almost noon time. Nah... I'll give him a 15 minute head start first. Meanwhile back in the Canterlot Castle. "Princess Celestia, I got here as fast as I could." Twilight said. slightly out of breath as she galloped up to her mentor. "Ah, hello Twilight. It's good to see you again." Celestia said, greeting her most prized pupil with a soft smile. "But did you bring the important one?" Celestia asked, with a deep look of concern in her eyes. "Princess..." Twilight said, sounding hurt but Celestia's comment. "I'm just teasing you my most faithful student." Celestia said, chuckling a little at Twilight's reaction. Just then, a certain pony. No... wait a minute. What are you again? I'm a bear dude. Ah... A certain bear waltzed up to Celestia. "Um... you needed to talk to me princess?" Thomas asked, more confused than sure sounding. "Hello Thomas, yes I have something important to discuss with you." Celestia said, prompting Thomas to come even closer to her. "What did you want to talk with me about?" Thomas asked. "Have you ever heard of a being called Discord?" Celestia questioned. "Discord..." Thomas said, his blood running cold from the mention of his name. "Yeah princess, I have." Thomas said, after taking a few moments to regain his composure. "He was the one who send me here." Thomas explained. "But why?" Twilight asked, confused. "That doesn't make any sense whatsoever, even for Discord." Twilight concluded. "That may be, but I feel like he is planning something." Celestia said, a worried look appearing on her face. "Twilight, I want you to keep an eye on Discord. Make sure he doesn't do anything to throw Equestria in chaos." Celestia instructed. "Yes Ma'am!" Twilight said, as she want to gather the elements and her friends to safeguard Equestria. Celestia then turned and spoke to Thomas. "Thomas, I want you to come with me. My sister and I will help you get home." Celestia said. "With Discord plotting something, it's too dangerous for you to stay in Equestria for long." "We have to get you home as soon as possible." Thomas followed Celestia to her sister's room. Celestia knocked on the door. "Lulu, I need you to get up. We gotta send Thomas back." Celestia said. "Ok, sister. I'll meet you after I'm done with this match." Luna says, kinda halfhearted. "LULU! STOP PLAYING AND GET YOUR LAZY [Censored] BOOTY OUT HERE!" Celestia screamed, clearly annoyed with her sister's hesitance. "I GOTTA FINISH THIS MATCH! THE ESPORTS TOURNAMENT IS COMING UP SOON AND I GOTTA BE READY!" Luna yelled backed. "LULU! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU! LOL IS NOT A [Censored] SPORT! YOU DON'T NEED TRAINING TO PUSH A FEW BUTTONS ON A KEYBOARD!" Celestia shot back. "WHY DON'T YOU GO TO THE GYM AND TONE YOUR BOOTY? AT LEAST THEN STALLIONS WILL LOOK AT YOU." Celestia said, clearly insulting the living [censored] out of Luna. "SHUT UP! STALLIONS LIKE SMALL BOOTY TOO!" Luna screamed. "AT LEAST MY BOOTY IS FIRM AND NOT A SAGGY FAT [Censored] LIKE YOURS!" Luna said, dunking on Celestia hard. Thomas snickered a little at that one. Luckily, Celestia didn't hear him or else he would end up a bloody mess dripping down the walls. "HEY! I WORK OUT! I'M JUST BIG BONED!" Celestia said, fuming. "YEAH, YOU KEEP TELLING YOURSELF THAT!" Luna replied. "FINE! BE UNHELPFUL THEN!" Celestia said, furious "[Censored]! My sister won't help us." Celestia said to Thomas. "Guess it's up to me." "C'mon, let's go to the royal library. Perhaps star swirled will know something." Celestia instructed. Thomas followed Celestia down to the library. He whistled. "That's a [censored] ton of books!" Thomas exclaimed. Celestia smacked him on the head for yelling. "Shhhh! This is a [censored] library. Use your inside voice." Celestia scolded. "Sorry..." Thomas said quietly, rubbing his aching head. Celestia went over the star swirled the bearded section and looked at the contents. After 5 minutes of searching, she found a book. "Alright, let's crack this open and find a spell to get you home." Celestia said as she searched the book "Getting inter dimensional creatures home for beginners." "Ah ha! To get a other worldly creature home, first find out where the creature comes from." Celestia read. "Thomas, where do you come from?" Celestia asked. "Earth." Thomas replied. "Alright, step one is done, now onto-" Suddenly there was an explosion and a intense flash of light sparked overhead. A section of the library wall was blown to pieces. The debris scattering on the floor. Discord emerged from the smoke and haze. "Discord?!" Celestia yelled, surprised. "Ah, good afternoon Celestia." Discord said, his usual goofy demeanor gone. "I've come for him." Discord said, pointing a talon at Thomas. "Then after I have him, I'll-" Discord stopped himself. "You know what, I'll let you figure it out on your own." Discord said as he prepared to grab Thomas. A yellow beam of pure energy and magic arched towards him. Discord yawned and pulled Thomas in front of him. "Oh wow, using a shield. How-" Thomas said as he was about to be hit. Thomas closed his eyes and braced himself. But it never hit him. Thomas opened his eyes to see that Celestia had put a shield around him. "Let him go Discord!" Celestia demanded. "No!" "Yes!" "No one likes a mean bully Discord!" "So stop it! Stoppp it!" "...No!" "Anyway, I gotta go. I have a checklist that needs to be done." Discord said as he teleported away. Celestia fired another bolt of magic at him but it was too late. "Oh [censored]!" Celestia exclaimed in frustration. Celestia teleported to the center of Equestria and amped up her Canterlot voice to maximum and yelled for Twilight. Luckily, Twilight managed to hear it. A little too well. "Ughh... I'm here Princess." Twilight said, teleporting to her slightly loopy from her eardrums almost exploding. "Thomas has been taken by Discord!" Celestia said. "Oh no! I have to tell the others!" Twilight said as she teleported away. But Celestia still had something to tell her. "Wait Twi-" Celestia said just as Twilight finished teleporting. Twilight came back. "Yes princess?" Twilight asked. "Go tell your friends and get the Elements of Harmony to stop Discord." Celestia instructed. "Ughh... that's what I was going to do princess. You don't have to tell me how to do everything." Twilight said rolling her eyes, annoyed as she once again teleported away. "Good luck, my second best student." Celestia said as she went back to the Canterlot Castle. "Well... time to go see if Lulu will let me join her game." Celestia said as she headed over to her sister's room for some bonding. "Hey Lulu!" Celestia yelled. "What the [censored] do you want?!" Luna replied. "I'm sorry for what I said earlier. Can I play with you?" Celestia asked. "Sure sister. apology accepted. now c'mon help me gank this loser called "Xx_Sombratehanusdestroyer69_Xx." Luna said, smiling. "Ok sis! Let's wreck this [censored]!" Celestia said, laughing. Meanwhile, in Ponyville. "So girls, we know the plan right?" Twilight said, reconfirming their plan. "Yup, we go in there with our elements and kick Discord's [censored]!' Rainbow Dash yelled with confidence. "We're with ya all the way sugercube!" Applejack encouraged. "Um... can we wreck his anus gently? That is... if he doesn't mind." Fluttershy said meekly. "I'm normally against such brutish and rather sexual actions, but Thomas is our friend and I'm not going to let him be taken by that multi pieced bully!" Rarity stated rather nonchalantly. "YEAH! LET'S TEACH THAT [censored] MEANIE PANTS A LESSON!" Pinkie yelled excitedly, giggling a little after. The Mane 6 grabbed their Elements of Harmony and went to find Discord. Five minutes later, they managed to find where Discord was at. But it wasn't hard, all one had to do was follow the screams of distress from ponies ...and the fire. Plus there was some power lines that were toppled over. "Oh [censored]!" Twilight said as she surveyed the damage. The Mane 6 galloped to where Discord was. He was currently drinking some chocolate milk and sitting on a throne made of the debris of pony homes. "Discord! What have you done with Thomas?!" Twilight demanded. "Ah hello Twilight! And you're friends are here too! That's spectacular!" Discord said smiling. "All of you can watch while I destroy this fool." Discord said, as he grabbed Thomas and held him up in front of him. "No! He doesn't even know why you're doing this! We're don't even know! Let him go!" Twilight pleaded. "Why you ask?!" Discord asked with annoyance. "I hate all of you." "And I want to take over Equestria." "I used to be happy, but then one day something happened." Discord said, his voice sounding rather serious. "What happened?" Twilight asked. The others were also confused by this sudden turn of events. What happened to Discord that made him so bitter and hateful? they all wondered. "I was a young god of chaos, barely out of the school for insane geniuses when two Alicorns came up to me. "I thought they wanted to be friends." "So I invited them to join me for some chocolate milk." "They stole my chocolate milk!" Discord yelled. "So... wait. All this is because Celestia and Luna stole some milk from you?" Rainbow Dash asked. "Yup." Discord said. "Buwahahaha!" was heard as Rainbow Dash exploded with laughter. "That's so silly!" Pinkie Pie said as she tried to recover her sides. Applejack was rolling on the floor laughing. Fluttershy was giggling. And Rarity was chuckling. Rainbow Dash fell on the floor and continued laughing. In fact, she laughed so hard she almost cracked a rib. Discord started laughing a little as well. "I guess it is kinda silly when you think about it." He said as the volume of his laughter increased. Soon Discord was rolling on the on Applejack and Rainbow. Twilight just stood there with a confused look on her face. "Wait girls! What about Thomas?!" Twilight asked with a look of concern on her face. "Ah yes Thomas." Discord said as he stopped laughing. The rest of the Mane 6 stopped laughing too. "Are you looking for this?" Discord said as he picked up Thomas and hoisted him up. Thomas wiggled in Discord's grasp. "Let me go dude!" Thomas said annoyed. "Yes! Give him back!" Twilight yelled. "No! While that was a good laugh. This is serious business." Discord said pointing to Thomas. "But... why me?" Thomas asked as he looked at Discord. "What do you have against me?" Thomas said. "Nothing. You were just unlucky enough to be caught by me!" Discord yelled as he prepared to bite Thomas. "AH! DUDE WHAT THE [censored] is wrong with you?!" Thomas said as he tried to escape so he didn't end up a afternoon snack. Thomas did the only thing he could in a situation like this. He started trying to beat the living [censored] out of Discord. Twilight started shooting bolts of magic at Discord. It interrupted his meal. "Hmm.. I'll deal with you later." Discord said as he dropped Thomas. Luckily Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy caught him. Discord roared and charged at Twilight intending to rip her apart with his talons. "Girls! Use the Elements!" Twilight said as she narrowly avoided being bit by Discord. "NOW!" Twilight screamed as Discord knocked her off balance and lunged at her. The Mane 6 focused their power of friendship and the Elements of Harmony activated. But... instead of turning Discord into stone, it simply knocked him out. Twilight hastily teleported Discord's unconscious body out of Equestria. "Pheww..." Twilight said wiping the sweat off her forehead. "That was a close one. I was almost chow for a evil nutjob." Thomas said as the rest of the girls hugged him. But Twilight just stood there. Thomas went over to her. "Twi I-" Thomas began to say but was cut off. Twilight tackled him into a hug. Twilight cried a little. Just kidding, she cried a lot. "Never do something that stupid again!" "Trying to punch out a god! What the [censored] were you thinking?" "You could have died!" "I know." Thomas said as he hugged Twilight back. "I was an idiot. I was lucky that you girls were hear to save me." Thomas said as he Thomas stroked Twilight's hairly softly. "It's okay Twilight. Don't cry I'm okay." "Besides your hair gets all frizzled when you start bawling." Twilight sniffled a little and smiled. "You jerk! Take that back!" Twilight said, pouting in mock anger. "Nope!" Thomas said as he ran away from Twilight. I definitely know I'm going to enjoy staying here. Thomas thought as he laughed as Twilight continued to try to catch him. Meanwhile in a pocket dimension. "You think you've won Thomas. But I'll be back." Discord said. "And this time I'm going to take away someone you care about." Discord starting laughing manically while staring at a wall filled with pictures of Thomas and his friends. A microwave dinged. "Ohhh! My tamales are done!" Discord said as he went to get them.
Chapter 7.5- An average day in Ponyville. Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.
Chapter 8- Discord! You haven't gone far enough bud. Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.
Chapter 3- The one where Miss Harshwhinny tells Thomas off.Chapter 3- The one where Miss Harshwhinny tells Thomas off. Thomas stared into the crowd. He didn't know what else to do. "... Where am I?" Thomas asked in a shaky voice. Thomas heard whispering. "It can talk?" "Is that a bear?! What's it doing in the Equestrian Games?" one pony said. "Mommy, I want some ice cream!" a little filly said. "Mommy is busy trying to get into the pants of Filthy Rich." the mother replied. "Just get on with it." another pony said impatiently. It just made him even more confused. "Stay calm everypony!" Thomas yelled. "I come in peace!" Thomas said. "Oh my sweet merciful almighty Celestia! He can talk!" One pony said then promptly fainted. "Burn the heathen!" Another pony said. "Pitchforks... get your Pitchforks..." A salespony said to the audience in the stands. "Torches... get your torches..." Another salespony said. "cotton candy..." A cotton candy vendor said. "Get your cotton candy." "Can't start a riot without cotton candy." The cotton candy vendor said repeating his sales pitch. The ponies looked at him, then continued to trot towards Thomas. They surrounded Thomas. "Hey guys, what's going on?" Thomas said. "Destroy the non- believer!" One pony yelled. "Hey guys, put me down!" Thomas yelled as he was lifted up by pony magic. Is this how ends... am I going to die by the hooves of angry candy colored ponies? Thomas thought back to his childhood. Thomas age 5. "Whoa mom, look at how cool my Lego death mech is!" Thomas said excited. "Good job honey!" Thomas's mother said. "That's a awesome death mech! but it could use some improvements." Thomas's mom said slyly. She helped her son build a 50 foot Lego death mech. "Thanks mom! You're the coolest!" Thomas said happily. Present day. "Everypony, calm down!" Miss Harshwhinny said. "What the [censored] did she just say." one pony said. "Speak up you meek [censored.]" another pony said, "I think she said everypony watch out for clowns." one slick pony said. "But why would we be afraid of clowns? They don't hurt ponies." Another one said confused. "Harshwhinny you's stupid." one pony said. "Umm... Twi what should we do now?" Rainbow asked. "Yeah Twilight, this here awkward silence is killing me." Applejack said. "Literally." Pinkie Pie said as she watched Applejack slowly fade away. "Calm down girls, we just gotta remember one thing." Twilight said confidently. "And what may that be Darling?" Rarity asked. "Just smile and wave girls. just smile and wave." Twilight said. The 6 element bearers smiled and waved. But Miss Harshwhinny could see through their somewhat clever facade. Miss Harshwhinny cleared her throat. "I SAID TO CALM THE [CENSORED] DOWN!" "IS THAT LOUD ENOUGH FOR YOU!?" "Ow! My ears..." one pony said. "What did she said?!" another replied. "Miss Harshwhinny speak up! I can't hear you over the [censored] ringing in my ears!" Rainbow Dash yelled. "What the [censored] did she just said?!" Fluttershy yelled as she Rainbow flips in the air. Miss Harshwhinny was mad now. So very mad. She was so mad that even Thomas started to get as far away as possible from her. Thomas knew that [censored] was about to go down. Miss Harshwhinny pulled out two giant speakers. "GET YOUR [CENSORED] TOGETHER EQUESTRIA! WE GOT SOME GAMES TO PLAY!" She yelled. Miss Harshwhinny then straightened her clothes and hair. Then she resumed speaking in a more professional tone. "I will tell this bear off, resume the games!" Miss Harshwhinny then commanded. Somehow, probably due to them being gods. Luna and Celstia managed to hear her and continued the games. "Hello Mr. the bear." Miss Harshwhinny said curtly. "I'm the inspector for these games, Miss Harshwhinny." "Hello Ma'am, I'm Thomas. Where am-" "You're at the 25th Annual Equestrian Games. And quite frankly you were interrupting the flow of the game." "You been quite naughty Mr. the bear." Miss Harshwhinny said licking her lips. "Please, you have to understand. It's been so long such anything stallion related touched me." Miss Harshwhinny said sadly. "I want this so bad." Miss Harshwhinny said panting heavily. "Why are you so out of breath?" Thomas asked very confused. "I'm just excited is all." Miss Harshwhinny said nonchalantly. "Really cause it looks like-" "Get you mind out of the gutter." MissHarshwhinny said. "And put my mind into one." MissHarshwhinny said as she took off her suit. "Um... Miss HarshWhinny, what the [censored] do you think you're doing?!" Thomas asked. "I thought we were going to do it?" Miss Harshwhinny said confused. "I never agreed to that!" Thomas yelled. "But I hate seeing you so lonely." Thomas said conflicted. "So you'll bend me over and [censored] my brains out?" Miss Harshwhinny asked with hope. "No..." Thomas replied curtly. "You need to take things slow with somepony you like." Thomas said. "Don't just go for [censored]." Thomas said. "At least win and dine first."Thomas said with a smile. "You're right Mr. the bear." Miss Harshwhinny said with realization. "Forgive me for that." Miss Harshwhinny said. "How about I give you something to tie you over until the next pony comes along eh?" Thomas asked. "Oh? What would that be?" Miss Harshwhinny asked. Five minutes later. "Oh... that was a wonderful backrub Mr.the bear." Miss Harshwhinny said smiling. "I'm glad you enjoyed it." Thomas said happily. He was just happy that Miss Harshwhinny hadn't [censored] him earlier. Then Miss Harshwhinny scowled. "Oh my... professionalism. almost forgot." "What?" Thomas asked very confused. "Please leave the Equestrian Games Mr. the bear. You must understand that this universe dislikes you." Miss Harshwhinny said. "No!" Thomas said. He was hurt that Miss Harshwhinny was doing this. But why though? She was being somewhat nice earlier. I suppose the universe does dislike me Thomas thought. "Too bad. Get used to it." Miss Harhwhinny said. "You [censored]!" Thomas yelled, obviously hurt. "Heheh! Aren't you a charming one?" Miss Harshwhinny teased. Thomas just grumbled something about crazy ponies and left the Equestrian Games. And the legend of Thomas the talking bear doormat started spreading. Discord was probably somewhere watching all of this and laughing his [censored] off.
