The Time I Met...Talking Ponies?

by cuziebear

Rating: teen
Tags: Main 6, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Original Character, Comedy
Length: 2524

When a adult suddenly wakes up with six colorful, talking ponies, things go down...

I wanted a normal life. I wanted nothing but talking ponies. Ponies? Yeah, I'm talking about girl things. But, my story is even cringe-worthier.

Published 2015-10-19 01:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-10-21 23:15:15 UTC

In Which I Wake Up With Six Talking Ponies

Dear diary, I learned that being normal is hard. Being normal is more boring than doing something fun. I'm giving myself a thing to say in the future that, if I am alive (if by chance an apocalypse happens), I might be in a alleyway being a homeless man with nothing but a glass of water and a sign saying, "Will work for pay." Though, life can be hard than being a comedian. I wasn't even THINKING of being a comedian. Well...maybe not.

Now, I must say goodbye to you, diary. Because, my life is moving on, and I don't mind spending more time being alone writing in a diary. If by chance, someone was to find this, I might be dead, or being a slave in work. No matter. At least I've got myself, my friends, and most of all, my dignity.

-Harrison.

I watch the computer screen as my friend sits next to me, smiling like a jerk. On the screen, is a song, which goes like this:

♩ My Little Pony. My Little Pony. Ahhhhhhhhhhh--

I shut off the screen, already un-amused.

"Why'd you stop it?" my friend, Joseph, asks me. "The show is good, right?"

"I don't like it."

Usually, I'd enjoy the shows Joseph made me watched. But this one, jeez, was horrible. I frown as I take back my choice of words as I know Joseph will complain about why I should embrace this show and how I should enjoy it.

"Harrison, this show is amazing!" he says out loud. "Why would you shut it off just because it's for girls?!"

"C'mon, Joseph," I say, feeling embarrassed. "You know My Little Pony is just a girls show with no imagination what-so-ever."

"'No imagination?!'" Joseph angrily says. "This is amazing. You're just jealous."

This was the last straw. I've had enough about My Little Pony, and I was frustrated.

"Joseph, you need to know that My Little Pony is a GIRL show," I say. "Get that through your noggin."

"Harrison, please give this show a chance-"

"No."

Joseph grunts and slams the door behind me. I feel a sense of guilt for being harsh on Joseph. I mean, why in the world would I watch a girl show? It was boring from the beginning, and here is the reason why:

The names were dumb. (Rainbow Dash? Sounds like a Skittles advertisement.)

The characters had no though put into them. (The lessons, from what I've heard, is be nice to each other, and good always triumphs over evil. Literally, the purple one beat a serious villain by going all, "DRAGON BALL Z!! SUPER POWER! OMG!"

And, 3. The name is awful.

My friend, Joseph, was now one of those Bronies. And, I've never seen a episode (not a whole episode, to be exact) at all. And, if I was to watch a episode, I'd probably barf and hide in my bed trying to forget about it. I'd never do that, but I will. So, to try an boost up Joseph's feelings, I decided to go to his room, and knock. (FYI, we both live in a apartment.) I hear a lock, and the door opens, showing Joseph's mom.

"Hello, Harrison!" she says happily. "Are you here to see Joseph?"

I sigh.

"Yeah, I need to apologize to him."

"He's in his room right now," she said. "See if he'll let you in."

I walk to his door, and knock.

"Leave me alone." I hear on the other side.

"It's me, Joseph," I say. "I'm sorry about what happened earlier."

His door opens.

"I'm sorry, too."

After a long conversation in Joseph's room (which was covered in MLP merchandising.), I walked back into my room, and sat in my bed. Looking out, I could already tell it was getting dark, and plus, I was tired like hell. Before I continue, I'd like to say that if you expect a wish scene like other stories on the internet, you'd be wrong. I layed down in awe as I looked at the ceiling. I closed my eyes, and dreamed of something cool. Christmas was already coming, you know. I wanted something cool for Christmas, and it would be amazing.

And, as I dreamed, something happened that was strange, and bad...

Twilight looked over the map in her new castle as she had called over her friends for something urgent. She had not explained what was urgent, but she did say that it was important to their mission of finding new places in Equestria. They were curious on what else was there in the world. Plus, they were still being friends with each other. Twilight was already getting bored of looking as she waited, and waited, and waited. She was already drifting into sleep before her friends entered the room.

"What's the big deal, Twi?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"I asked you about coming over here because there's something new on the map." she said.

"...You made us come here, just for something on the map?!"

"Now, hold on, Rainbow," Applejack said, putting a hoof next to her. "Ya' know that Twilight might think it's important. And ya' know bein' her friend means we ought to help her in need."

"And being her friend is good, yea' I know," Rainbow Dash flew into her chair. "But, this isn't important as saving-the-world-important."

"Then what is important, darling?" Rarity asked.

"Now, girls," Twilight said, silencing the group. "We need to focus on the situation here. Right now, this is important."

The map showed a mysterious site where it was a cave. Just, a cave.

"Twilight, what is it have to do with caves?" Rainbow asked.

"This cave wasn't here the last time we looked at it," she said. "Its...different..."

"Big deal," Rainbow Dash looked at the cave. "We've been to caves before, Twilight-"

"Maybe it's a cave that's filled with cake!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed, interrupting Rainbow Dash. "Or-Or- maybe it's a cave with candy and rides, just like a carnival!"

Twilight looked at Pinkie.

"What?"

Just then, the cave glowed on the map, giving it a blue color. Twilight pointed at it.

"Look! The cave's glowing, it means there's something in it that we need to investigate."

"...Maybe, we-we shouldn't go the-" Fluttershy said.

"Then, let's go!" Pinkie said, raising a hoof in the air.

The journey to the cave wasn't easy as they expected. They had to go through forests, rivers, etc. But, when they made it, they were relieved.

"Twilight, how many miles do we have to take?!" Rainbow groaned. "We've been walking forever!"

"Don't get your hooves tied in a knot, Rainbow Dash," Twilight said. "We're here."

"Finally!" Rarity exclaimed. "My hooves are getting muddy and dirty!"

The group then walked in the cave, and, the cave was boring. All there was was water dripping off edges and nothing. But, suddenly, a wall opened.

"What?!" Twilight said, moving back from the wall.

On the other side, a glowing wall appeared. On it, were inscriptions of mysterious things. The group started walking until Applejack stopped them.

"Wait!" she told them. "I don' believe there might be somethin' goin' to pop out and tell us to leave."

"If there were something here, then I'll protect us by doing some sweet moves on i-" Rainbow Dash said, before Twilight ignored her.

The wall had a strange inscription on it, which said,

He or she who enters beware,
There will be trouble ahead, so prepare.
Ponies who read this be thrown,
To a place different from your throne.
Be aware, and do a favor,
And be known to be braver.

Twilight looked at it, and Applejack looked at it, too.

"Twi?" she asked.

It was too late. Twilight was reading it already, and Applejack was trying to snap her out of it.

"Twi! I think it's a trap!"

As Twilight finished reading it, she looked at her.

"Applejack, I was kidding!" she laughed. "Nothing's going to happen! It's just a poem!"

Then, the ground began to shake as they gasped, and huddled together.

"Just a poem, ah?!" Applejack said to Twilight, who smiled.

"Heh, sorry!"

"We're going to die in here, Twilight!" Rainbow Dash said. "And it's because you read that stupid poem--"

The area exploded, the group disappearing from existence. The cave disappeared, too, and it was silent.

I had awoken from a nice sleep as I got up, took a shower, and ate breakfast. I was still a little bit tired, but I managed. I looked out in the winter outside as it was snowing in New York. (Yes, I live in New York.) I heard an explosion during the night, but I shrugged it off. You don't hear explosions often, unless we were in a war and I'd be hiding. The time I entered the living room to watch some T.V, I heard speaking. It was muffled, so I had to find where it was coming from.

The closer I got, I was getting nervous.

Is it an intruder? I thought.

If it was, some guy would barge in on me and shoot me dead until I exploded into a million pieces. I noticed it was coming from the road, since the window was open in the kitchen. I peeked, and listened.

"...Where are we?" the voice asked, sounding female.

"I know we aren't in Equestria anymore," another voice asked, this time sounding like a tomboy. "And I know it's your fault, Twilight."

Twilight? Equestria? I was thinking that...

Oh, no... I thought. I think those are...

Then, I see figures. Colorful figures, to be exact. That only meant one thing: The characters from that stupid My Little Pony show were here. I was having a panic attack, because that's how several people act when there are FICTIONAL CHARACTERS in the REAL WORLD! I had to duck, since they might have saw me. I never seen an episode, like I said before. But, they might kill me. Like, ripped-apart-killed. Then, I realized,

They're little kids characters, I thought. They can't kill people.

How stupid of me to forget that. I spy on them, to make sure they don't go to the house they first see. Unfortunately, they did. And that was my house.

"Crap." I say under my breath.

I then ran into my room like a kid waking up from a nightmare, and hide under my bed. Surely they can't enter my house. Right? Right?!

"Anyone home?" a voice says--the same voice I heard before.

I'm so screwed.

In Which I Get Kicked In The Face by A Blue Pony

My breathing couldn't save me now, because those freaking talking...pony things were in my house! I was silent as I heard rustling coming from the kitchen. I could hear them talking again.

"What is this place?" I heard one of the voices--the tomboy--speak.

"And what are these things?"

I heard my computer turn on, and I felt a sense of anger.

Those (word censored)-ing things better not mess that computer up. I thought.

Then, I heard nothing. I felt like some jump scare was going to scare me like a horrible horror movie. Then, I heard hoofsteps. They were getting to my room. As they got closer, I laid my head down and made sure they wouldn't see me. As they looked at my room, I expected them not to see me. I was wrong. They decided to enter my room like a cliched story like something was in here.

I held my breath as they examined the room, and they left. It was like, maybe a minute, or so. Then, the pink one looked under my bed like a dumb@$% and noticed me.

Crap. I thought.

"I found something!" it said in a happy voice.

"Nonononononono!" I said as they entered my room, and pulled me out.

This literally feels like a cliched story right now.

I expected them to hit me in the face, but they can't do that. They're kids cha-

POW! I felt a strong kick in my face as my face was possibly bleeding a little bit.

"Now, why'd ya' have to do that, Rainbow Dash?!" a western voice said.

"What if that...thing tried to hurt us?!" Rainbow Dash said.

At that moment, my mouth hurt from being kicked as I got up, and looked at them.

"Why the hell did you do that?!" I said.

"Sorry about that," Twilight said. "Rainbow Dash can sometimes be protective."

"And what's, 'Hell?'" Rarity said. "Is that...mature language? Or is that your language in this world?"

I got up, being embarrassed that I said that.

"I still don't trust this, 'thing.'" Rainbow Dash said.

"One thing, I'm not a 'thing,'" I said. "And the other thing is, you're NOT REAL."

"Not real? We are real you-" Rainbow Dash said, before being pulled back by Twilight.

"What Rainbow Dash is saying is: We are real, and you're not," she said. "Maybe this is just a dream."

I grunted. How stupid are these ponies? Are they brain-dead, or just thinking that I'm a robot or something.

"I am real, and I'M done with this conversation," I said. "And, no, this is no dream, okay?"

"Yeah, Twilight," the orange pony spoke. "I don't know if this is a dream. This fella' ain't foolin' us."

Fella'? I thought, This one must be western...

"Okay, you...talking monstrosities-" I said.

"We're not monstrosities." Twilight corrected.

"Fine," I said. "Talking...ponies? Okay? Anyways, I want you to leave."

Wow. That was dumb, considering that I said that. So, the thing is, I was talking to fictional characters. Yeah, that sound's weird.

"Well, we don't know where to go," Twilight said. "And, if we were to go, where would we go?"

"I don't know? Magical Pony Land?"

"Okay, that was rude," Rainbow Dash said. "It's, 'Ponyville.' Not, Magical, whatever Land."

"Leave, okay?" I said. "Is that all I have to ask?!"

"I said we don't know where to-"

"Yeah, yeah, I get it," I said. "I'm tired of seeing you things in my house. Just, leave me alone!"

You can tell right now that this is getting longer, so I'm skipping the rest to the important parts. So, I feel a bit cliched, I know.

"What are you, anyways?" I lied.

"We're ponies, isn't that obvious?" Rainbow Dash said.

"I see we haven't met," Twilight said. "My name is Twilight Sparkle, and this is Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, and Applejack."

Jeez, these names are crappy.

"Okay, Twilight, get out." I said, and yes, I said that.

"Well, if you insist in being mean and rude, we'll leave." she said.

"Yeah, if this is going to be like this, then I'll stop being a jerk." I said.

"Wait, what?"

"Never mind."

Author's Note

Sorry, guys! I'm so sorry this is a short chapter! This was short because I was running out of ideas. So, if you start hating because of this chapter, that's okay. I'm making a long chapter next time, okay?