Don't play with your food.

by Wonder

Rating: everyone
Tags: Pinkie Pie, Random, Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Comedy
Length: 1447

Breeze and Luna have lunch at the Hayburger.

Breeze and Luna are having lunch at Hayburger, or at least trying to. But needless to say, things get out of hoof.

Published 2015-10-29 19:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-10-29 19:50:02 UTC

Food Fight

Luna rolled her eyes at the bat pony mare. She knew Breeze did some silly things, but this was just childish, bordering on idiotic. The two were eating at one of the many Hayburgers that dotted the city of Canterlot, enjoying a nice lunch together, or at least they were trying to. Luna had been watching Breeze for the past several minutes as she played with her food, she didn't understand why someone would ruin perfectly good food. First the mare had started with turning her hay fries into a tent. Breeze had then hollowed out her apple pie, claiming that it was now a cave. Various other foods had also been destroyed, all for the sake of her edible village.

Luna was so preoccupied contemplating the ridiculousness of the event, that she almost forgot she had her own food to eat. Almost. Breeze went to grab one of Luna's chip in order to fortify her barracks but was stopped when a tomato sauce cannon materialized in front of her town hall. Ice cream and tomato sauce should never mix! Breeze froze inches away from the chips and looked at Luna, who was glaring at Breeze.

"Touch them, and Breezeville dies." Luna stated in a deadpan tone.

"You wouldn't dare." Breeze narrowed her eyes.

"Would I?" Luna picked up one of her chips and ate it.

Breeze back away slowly and returned her attention to strengthening her little town."You win this time, but when my reinforcements arrive, your food will be ours." Luna held back a laugh, not wanting to look weak in front of the enemy. Maybe I should just play along. Luna thought. Luna thought of ways she could outshine Breeze's food town, but her resources were restricted to hay fries and what was left of her burger. Perhaps she could turn the potato patty into the foundations of her town hall. Luna looked up and saw that Breeze was making a perimeter for her village, using the filling of the apple pie as cement to reinforce her chip wall. She was going to need more resources, and fast.

Luna raised her hoof in the air and signaled one of the waitresses. The mare saw the princess and literally dropped everything she was doing, much to the dismay of the stallion who was about to receive his food, and ran over. "What can I do for you, your highness?!" The mare displayed a smile that would impress Pinkie Pie.

Luna quickly scribbled something down on a napkin and handed it to the mare. "Could you please get me these?"

"Of course, your high-" The mare looked down at the napkin and froze. "Are you sure you can eat that much?"

"Not a problem, just relay the order to the kitchens." The mare bowed slightly and left. Luna turned back the Breeze, only to see that her town had doubled in size. She would have to get to work soon, or her food would be overpowered. Luna watched nervously as Breeze made more and more additions to her city. First she had added a watch tower, giving her bonus awareness. Then she had added a church, giving her citizens a boost in moral. The wretched bat pony was also in the middle on constructing library in order to increase her ponies intelligence. Soon she would be at Breeze's mercy. She needed her food and she needed it now, before it was too late.

Luna glared at the kitchen, willing her food to be ready, which surprisingly worked. After ten seconds of glaring, the doors to the kitchen opened, revealing a large table on wheels that was piled high with food, ranging from soft drinks to ice cream. About time.

The waitress rolled the table over to Luna's table. "Here you are your highness. A feast fit for a manticore." Luna didn't waste anytime on pleasantries and set to work. First she would need homes for her ponies, so she levitated twenty waffles out of the pile and began to shape then for her needs. Withing minutes she had twelves medium sized houses. Not as many as she would like, but it would suffice for now. Next she needed to set up her defense, in case Breeze decided to raid her supplies. She would not be beaten by a mare with no experience in war. As far as Luna was concerned, she was going to win. She had beaten many foes. The griffon generals feared the effectiveness of her tactics, the kingdom of Atlantis felt the fires of her rage, Lord Everfree saw the power of her armies and Breeze would know the ruthlessness of her hunger. She would win this war.

Celestia was being escorted by a small group of guards around Canterlot. They had recently received a report from one of the Hayburgers about a public disturbance, but when they arrived they decided it was best to leave Celestia to deal with it. This was way above their pay grade. Celestia rounded the corner and could finally see the restaurant in question and she could easily see why they need her help. In and around the fast food store was what appeared to be a miniature city comprised of many types of food and drink. That wasn't what scared her though. It was that fact that the city was functioning, complete with electricity from what looked like a cola soda-electric dam. She only knew of one pony that could do such a thing. "Surrender Breeze!" She heard a shout from inside the restaurant.

"Never!" Breeze yelled back, which was soon accompanied by the sound of cannon fire. What the hay! Celestia ran forward into the restaurant and saw a mini food war taking place. From what she could tell, the two were tying. Luna had strategy on her side, but Breeze had her greatly out number. From the looks of it, interfering would result in being attacked by both Breeze and Luna so Celestia had only one choice, she would have to join in.

Twilight had just arrived in Canterlot after receiving an urgent summons from the royal guard. They hadn't told her much, just that they needed her help. Something to do with the safety of Canterlot. The moment Twilight exited the train she was instantly surrounded by guards who lifted her into the air, taking no consideration about her personal space, the placement of their hooves or her screams of protest. Twilight yelled at them the whole way, but they were determined to get her where she needed to be. Twilight was just about to teleport away, when they dropped her on the ground in front of a mass of food.

"What the hay was that!" Twilight yelled at the guards.

"We are sorry your highness, but this is important. We need you to stop them."

"Who?!" Twilight was about to lose her patience.

"Them!" The guards yelled in unison, pointing behind Twilight before running off. Twilight turned around and was met by a trio of ponies, each wearing a different set of armour, made of the foods of their tribe. Breeze was clad in crispy chip heavy armour, equipped with the deep fried long sword of destiny. Luna stood only hooves away, holding her waffle war hammer menacingly above her head. Her waffle plate armour giving her ample protection with the bonus of maple protection as well. The tallest of the three, Celestia, was hiding behind a bun barricade. In each hoof she held a burger bomb which hissed as their fuses burned slowly. Twilight didn't know what was going on but she knew that just walking in and telling them to stop would end in her swift and total demise. She needed a way to stop them, and the only way she could do that could be to join in.

"And that was the story of how all food and Equestria disappeared!" Pinkie waved her hoof dramatically over her audience.

"That was a terrible story Pinkie." Rainbow Dash snorted. "What's so scary about that?"

"All the food disappeared, duh. That is scary. What will we eat?" Pinkie stated.

"You know we are herbivores, right? We'll just eat plants and stuff." The cyan pegasus stated.

"You're no fun." Pinkie huffed.

"And you're bad at telling stories." Rainbow retorted.

Author's Note

Yeah, I have no idea what the point of this was. It sounded good in my head, but by the time I realized it was bad, I was almost finished so I just did it. This story probably has a lot of errors and stuff, but I don't really feel like editing right now.