Lie To Me, If You Please

by ProbableSarcasm

Pilot: Lie To Me, If You Please -

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“Shit!!”  I said as I jolt awake, my eyes blinked rapidly as the jacket on me became heavier with every breath I took.  Good goddess, what the hell kind of dream was that?!  That was too real for me to just sweep it under the rug.  The cold hard mattress along the thin blanket in a dirty house was enough for my heart to drop in disappointment of my laziness, Ode to My Lazy Life filled with Half Lies.

Or was it the fact I still had three more decades of prison left to go or until I’m executed for my crime, the crime that I know for a fact I did not commit, that had me curled up against the almost nonexistent blanket.  I looked, my pounded in pain—the pounding pulsed throughout my temples and out my ears.  I twitched my ears as I hear the clips and clops of hooves rat and tap on the cobble stones.  The sound of armor chinking and the jingle of keys.

The guards, three of them, stood in front of my cell.  They looked at me with a furious disgust, I simply look back with an uninterested look.  Was it time for my execution, or do I get a last meal until then?  Today was Friday, the Executioner works on a Friday.  I felt the familiar reap of dread on the fabric of reality get ripped out of my body, I felt empty.

“Good morning, Doc’,” The guard in the center jeered with spite.  His name was Vanity, he stood taller than I’ve seen, his fur a linen sheet white and his hair as golden as the sun.  The other two physical appearances of the guards were no different, except they stood inches shorter than Vanity.  Vanity’s chest was decorated with medals and ribbons, I had no ill feelings for his achievements so they didn’t matter to me.

“Is it time for another beating?” I asked condescendingly, sitting onto my haunches and staring them down with defiance.  My defiance didn’t last long, a mere second in life my defiance lived.  I twist my neck and heard the satisfying pop in my still sore neck.  I learned very early on that defiance wouldn’t get me out of this cell any sooner so I didn’t fight back whenever I get ordered around.

“As much as I would love to…not today…”  They groaned, the guards did.  I raised my eyebrow now, this is the moment where my numbered days would probably be up with me hanging on a rope from the gallows.  Funny how my life would end on a Friday, after a decade and a half of the dungeon and beatings.   “I don’t know how you did it…”

“—but you managed to convince Princess Celestia…”  My eyes squinted, the face of the Vanity was odd by normal standards; Vanity’s eyebrows were lower than usual, his jaw muscles tightened, his eyes seemed focused on me but he keeps shuffling his hooves – odd for a Royal Officer of the Military, his bearing should be exceptional…  I reached up and scratched my cheek, was he in pain…?  Where?  Was his teeth hurting him?