The Griffons Rise

Staring at the surrounding equine bat guards that have surrounded me I immediately started to think of a battle plan that would hopefully get me out of here in one piece and now with my ass on the chopping block or my ass in the stockades getting buttfucked by miniature horses. Either of those two options are not acceptable and there is no way in hell I will ever be allowed to let it down that I got ass-raped by a bunch of ponies.

My first instinct was to show my displeasure of the situation by shouting in my head my words of anger, but unfortunately for me I have a bad habit of verbally expressing my anger and without any kind of filter to censor my words.

"Oh come the fuck on! It is hard enough that I had to fight five of them alone and now there are...twenty...thirty...fuck I think I counted one of you twice!"

"We are surprised that you can even count let alone manage to defeat five of my guards all by your lonesome." The tall dark armored horned winged horse said as she slowly started to trot around me, eying me up or something. Probably gauging me to see if I am a threat or just a nuisance to swat to the side.

"Well when you learn how to swing a sword all it takes is a misstep or a moment of weakness and it is pretty much game over for the loser. That and I was pretty much reacting to being surprised by a bunch of pint-sized ponies in armor." I said as I grabbed two of the flat blades on the floor and looked at the large mass of bat ponies that has me surrounded me on all sides.

One such bat pony thought it was a smart idea to try and attack me from behind but the guard alerted me to their presence by galloping right at me and as a consequence got a beating of a lifetime. With the guard in question galloping right at me I sidestepped out from their path before cracking them in the back of the head and the center of their spine between their wings before resuming my battle stance. The guard tumbled down to the ground, its helmet had a fairly rectangular dent in it and as a result from that blow left them unconscious.

"Do you really think that you will be able to win this battle?" The tall mare said but this time she stopped moving when she was directly behind me, making me turn to the side so I can keep an eye on her.

Signaling with her wing three guards charged at me from the front, two of them galloped at me with all possible speed while the third one was slower and took his time to reach me. The guard on the right thrust out his spear and on instinct and also from remembering an episode of Avatar the Last Airbender (great fucking show) and deflected the spear by redirecting it above me before breaking it in half. Without his spear he kept on galloping at me but with nothing but a stump of a spear I cracking him between the eyes before stepping forward and used his body as a shield as the spear from the other guard glancing off his buddy's armor before I cracking him in the foreleg that was holding the spear.

The guard let out a yelp of pain, dropping his spear before tripping over it and landing on his back, his wings flailing wildly before stopping, realizing that he is stuck like that due to how heavy his armor is. The guard that I knocked out with that blow to the head stayed within my grip and for a moment I had a brilliant idea.

Dropping my swords to the ground I grab the unconscious guard and for a moment think that this is will never work, I grab the guard by his forelegs and heaved. Slowly but surely the guard was being lifted off the ground as I raised him above my head, the third guard who took his time to reach me was now wearing a worried expression before it immediately being turned into fear as I threw his out cold partner right at him. The end result is humorous because they were on the ground writhing in pain, well...one of them was, the other was snoring.

"Do I think I can win this? No, I know for a fact that I don't stand a chance in hell that I can win this particular fight. But I know that if I just surrender than there is a chance that when I am takin in to be processed that I would just be used as a sex slave or tortured to reveal everything that I know before being given to the females to be used as a toy for their sick pleasures." I grunted out as I turned my head to check my back and I saw a bat pony that tried to get behind me but it was hard for a pony to be stealthy when it is wearing metal horseshoes it pretty much gave its position away.

As soon as I saw the pony in question I immediately swung with my right sword and conked the pony on the head before whacking it in the jaw with the other sword, the force of the second hit actually lifted said pony off the ground and into the air for a few seconds before it landed on its back out cold.

"That is just revolting! We do not do such things to our prisoners! That hasn't happened ever since the unification war before Equestria's founding and even then we would never even allow such a despicable thing to happen!" The tall mare blanched back, apparently such a thing is a crime against humanity...against ponykind? Whatever it is apparently it is a big ol' fat illegal act, but it has happened before.

'So it has happened before? That does nothing to assure my spirit that I won't get raped to death by a bunch of horses...why does this feel like it has happened before in human history?'

"Uh huh, and I'll believe it when I see it, but since I refuse to just give in and surrender to you..." I heard more ironclad hooves coming closer as the circle around me slowly begins to shrink in size.

"You know that We can just force a surrender upon you right now." The tall mare said, a smirk on her muzzle as she stares at me with a victorious grin.

"Go ahead, try it." Not my smartest moment, ever.

And try it this giant pony did. As soon as I uttered those words out I watched as its horn started to glow a dark blue color and after a second I watched was a little too late as said blue glow was ejected out of its horn like a cannonball and said magic ball collided with my chest.

But it did nothing. It just hit me square in the chest and upon impact it acted like a water balloon and splashed itself all over my clothes with no effect other than leaving a stain behind.

"The hell did you just hit me with?" "What the buck just happened?"

The two of us stood there motionless for a moment as we process what just occurred, a unicorn with wings just shot a spell at me, and it did nothing but scuff my shirt with a dark blue smear of some sort of magical residue. I sure hope this comes off in the wash because there is no way in hell that I am just going to leave my shirt covered in magic splooge.

"Was that supposed to do something or was that just a way of you marking me?"

"Neither, it was supposed to stun you long enough for my guards to tie you up and drag you away with the others. How did it not affect you in any way possible besides that...residual stain." The mare said as I looked down at the stain on my shirt and for some reason I had a stupid moment where I picked at me shirt and took a sniff at the magic residue and for a moment all I smelled was myself until it finally hit me with a hint of ozone and a febreeze candle.

"Don't know, probably you used the wrong spell?" I asked as another set of hooves got closer but when I turned my head to look at the foolish pony that was getting closer I saw that it was another bat pony but this one had a mace raised over its head and when it noticed that I was looking right at him he gave me a sheepish smile before backing away slowly.

These damn ponies sure as hell want to knock me the fuck out.

"We are not some naïve in the art of magic that we would use the wrong spell on purpose! That is just a foolish notion and you should do well to disperse it from your mind lest it festers into another foolish thought."

"OH don't worry, I won't let it fester in my mind, I am just thinking on doing my job here but you are putting a bit of a damper on it by showing up at the worst moment possible." I said as I tried once more to think up a way for me to get out of this place alive and in one piece, along with my asshole intact and not butt fucked.

"And just what kind of job are you here for hmm? Raiding diplomatic caravans and traders?" I hate stupid people and these ponies obviously are using racist stereotypes on these diamond dogs, I mean not all of them are raiders. Some of them are miners, maybe a butcher, a nanny...probably even a blacksmith? I don't know I haven't been truly looking around here to see if they do anything else but raid the surface.

"Wow, I knew that some people here are dense but really? Do I look like one of those flea-bitten mongrels that you rounded up?" I said out loud, here I was hoping that a pony or two here had a brain of their own.

I was proven wrong.

"Yes." Every single pony said at the exact same time. Fucking hate bandwagoners.

Facepalming internally I instead opt to give her a flat blank stare before letting out an explosive sigh as I started to explain myself to the winged unicorn in armor...and is that a crown?

Double shit.

"Okay, lets start this all from the top shall we? I only look this way because of an illusion potion that I drank before coming down here to spy on these diamond dogs (total bullshit lie but it is the only lie I can think of at the moment and on the fly) and I was just about to slink off into the night and report to Grandpa Griff up in Griffonstone but you blew my cover and probably put a bounty on my head with these diamond dogs looking to collect on it." Please, please for the love of god eat up this bullshit lie I just made up on the spot!

Save my sorry ass my little lie! Save it!

"You are a griffon spy?" Not how I was expecting this to go but lets roll with it.

"No, I am more like a mercenary that just so happened to be doing a bit of spy work for payment and a temporary place to stay." I am just a man wanting to find either a way to go home or if that can't happen to just live my life here as comfortable as possible.

"Oh...well... then would you kindly tell me what you have learned from these diamond dogs and where they might be holding the prisoners and We will gladly let you go and be on your way to your employer for your reward." The dark blue horse said as she sat down on her rump and look at me, apparently she is trying to be diplomatic about this now. What would Gandhi do?

Other than fire nukes at every other player because the people at Firaxis decided to give him the agenda of 'Nuke Happy', why they would make the most peaceful man on the planet the agenda to nuke everything I will never know.

"That sounds like a mighty fine offer you have there, but I must say that I respectfully decline it." I said as I shuffled my grip on the two blunt swords in my hands.

I know that by saying 'no' to someone that has a posse the size of a standard college classroom normally would end with the one who said no will get their ass handed to them on a silver platter with a side of extreme pain, but instead the pony in question, or I should say mare in question as her voice was fairly feminine although I thought it was just an effeminate male at the time, simply laughed.

"We see you hold your conviction to stay loyal to your employer is strong and that you refuse to betray his trust. Do not worry, we know of this 'Grandpa Griff' of whom you speak of, you can finish your mission as long as you allow us to rescue the lone Thestral pony that was in her company at the time of her capture." the royal pony said and for a moment I was having a bit of a brain fart.

'Did she really just relent on her demand for me to tell her everything I know about these diamond dogs? I guess that she is getting something out of this scenario as she does get back the guard she lost, maybe also gets a good word in with their griffon neighbors...what else is she not telling me?'

While I was thinking about what this large pony said to me, I failed yet another series of listen and spot checks as the large dark blue horse/pony thing trotted up to me and was standing right in front of me.

"So, do you agree to these terms? We shall let you leave this dog colony with the gryphon princess and her entourage along with your life, as long as you tell the king that We have assisted you on the matter."

'Huh, those are some pretty sweet terms, I get to leave this place alive, finish my mission, and I still don't have to worry about being butt raped by a bunch of ponies of both genders. Why the hell not! With returns like that there is no way in hell this can possibly come back to bite me in the ass!'

Thinking this offer over I for the most part did not see any downsides to this and decided that this might be my only deal that this one will be willing to offer me so I went for it.

Slowly putting my right sword down while adjusting my grip on my left sword by grabbing its flat blade, thrusting out my right hand as I waited for the mare in question to accept my handshake.

'Ponies and horses do handshakes...right? I mean if they can put on armor and manage a sword with their mouth, I am more than positive that they can do handshakes.'

My answer was yes, ponies can do handshakes as the mare in question grabbed my hand with its hoof, which I think is impossible because hooves have no grip except when it is on the ground while trotting about, but here it is, shaking my hand while smiling.

(And so history will remember that on this day, whatever day it is on the calendar, that mankind made an agreement with an alien race. Too bad they will never hear about this stunning moment let alone know that it was with an alien horse while holding me at spear-point.)

"Okay, you got yourself a deal, just as soon as you can bring me Scrawny from your prisoner pile and then we will be on our way." I said quickly and for a moment I saw a flash of surprise in the pony's eyes but then it turned into a smirk on her muzzle as she realized that I added something to our little agreement.

The tall horse gave me a confused look as she tilted her head at me, apparently I confused her when I asked for my friend because she doesn't know who he is.

"Who?"

"Diamond Dog, thinner than most of them, about as tall as I am, talks way too much, always seems to be happy." I said as I recalled as many details about my friend as I could, not even forgetting to tell the tall mare about his fur color to better find him.

Nodding at me I watched silently as she signaled for one of her guards to come over, a young mare with bat wings, a Thestral Officer if I remember the feathered helmet correctly, trotted quickly up to her and saluted before being given instructions on who to find and bring over. I am hoping they grab the right dog and not just grab some random idiot from the pile of prisoners.

While we were waiting I kept my swords up and at the ready while the armed pony guards kept their spears pointed right at me, and although it would be suicidal to think that I can take them all on my own and not end up as a pincushion. The pony guards were all glaring at me, many of them were snorting hot air in anger that I am defying their leader by not surrendering but hey, she is letting me leave this miserable boil on the ass-end of the underground alive and with the gryphon entourage.

Now I only wish I can take a nice long hot shower, I smell freaking terrible and I am damn sure that these ponies know I smell an ungodly sort of foul.

After a few minutes of waiting the same Thestral guard that left came back with my dog buddy in tow, bound, gagged and also blindfolded to boot.

Walking over to my tied up friend I start to undo his bindings, leaving the gag and blindfold on for the moment as whispered to him that it was me and that I am getting him out of here, he immediately started to wag his tail and start to try and talk through his gag but all it did was make muffled sounds and that brought a small grin to my face.

'Seems like this dog needs a good, long learning session when this is over with, if a dog can learn tricks and manners back home than I am more than positive the same can happen here but with a much larger dog that can talk and think.'

As soon as I removed the gag from his mouth and the blindfold from around his head he immediately started to rapid fire out words as he tries to explain what happened to him but I immediately re-gagged him when he started to talk because I already knew what happened.

"Shush now friend, the battle is over, we lost but we are getting out of here. The big pony that led the raid is letting us leave along with the gryphon prisoners because she is kind enough to let the two of us get out of here alive. We will more than likely end up as gryphon prisoners but because we are the ones who 'rescued' the gryphon princess our prison cells might not be as bad as the ones here. Just keep calm, follow me and for the love of god don't talk. I will never forgive you if you blow our cover!"

Gagging my friend by covering his mouth with my hand I told him what was going to happen and where we are going and possibly where our future home will be.

"We are going to go grab the prisoners, go up to the surface, and when we return the gryphon princess we will ask for mercy and pray to god that we don't get skewered on the spot. Okay?" I asked my muffled friend and for a moment he stared at me confused but after a moment it sort of clicked in his head as he nodded at me.

"Good, now lets get going, the sooner we do this the better." And with that we were off.

Walking through the horde of Thestral guards the two of us made our way out through the throng of bat ponies and soon found ourselves on the other side and with it walked down the path to the prison room.

Pushing the rusty iron door open I spotted that the prisoners were still in here but they were attentively staring at the door. These guys and girls obviously heard the fighting that is going on out there and were afraid and unsure of who it might be that would enter through this door.

The prisoners all let out a collective sigh of relief as I grabbed the slightly rusty cell key from a hook on the wall and made my way over to the decrepit cell door. Inserting the key into the old tumbler lock I twisted the small handle and with a loud creaking shrill sound I pushed the door open and quietly ushered the captives out, telling them to keep it down if we are going to make it out of this place alive and in one piece.

"Keep calm, your voices quiet and your paws silent. If we get caught there isn't much we can do if they are heavily armed. These blunt swords won't do much but probably piss them off something fierce." I harshly whispered out to them all, the gryphon princess rolled her eyes but for the most part she accepted my advice and stayed close behind me while her guards flanked her on both sides, the minotaur I actually had to help because he was barely able to keep himself standing.

I am not sure if they tried to starve the poor bastard out or if he is suffering from some sort of internal injuries.

With my left arm barely being wrapped around the mino's waist to keep him from falling over, we made our way slowly through the caves, the Thestral guard that was captured left our group as soon as we left the prison ward. Guess he went to go back and get integrated back to his people.

But luckily for me we made it to the front gate and our only problem became apparent when we found that the gate was closed.

"So...how do we get this open?"

"Scrawny!"

"Yeah Ian? What is it?"

"Do you know how to get this open?"

"Uh...no?"

"Fuck..."

"Well it looks like we better start looking for a chain or lever then. You! Diamond Dog! Start looking for it over there! Talons! Start searching for a switch while I look over here with our guide." I looked at the princess and mouthed 'guide' at her in confusion and her response was to glare at me as her feathers wavered on her wings, my guess that she is trying to tell me to shut the fuck up.

While everyone was busy searching for the lever, switch, chain pulley or whatever these dogs use to open up the iron gate. We searched high and low, under rocks, behind torches and even tried tapping the walls to listen and hear for any hollow openings that might reveal a hidden entrance or a hidden switch to open the gate.

Looking for a device that will lift the iron gate took us some time, while the gryphoness was looking low near the ground for our freedom switch I was looking up on high because I had height to my advantage, but while I was looking for it I couldn't help it but give glimpses to the crouching gryphoness, and like all men around the world who spots a girl bending over to pick something up they have their ass in the air.

Fortunately for them they have pants or shorts on so we don't get to see everything, unfortunately for the princess however, is that she doesn't have anything on so with her tail swishing around it is pretty much showing off her goods.

My thoughts ran from 'Why the fuck am I staring at that?' to 'Huh...so that's what it looks like.' to finally 'I wonder it would feel like if I put my dick in it...probably nice...just as long as she doesn't claw my face off or rip my dick off.'

Before I could get caught with my impromptu perverted peaking I looked away and went back to searching for the switch but when I looked down I had found that I had a problem.

And that problem was a raging hardon that goes by the name Thorlax the Impaler.

'Oh god...please give me the strength to not have a boner...think unsexy thoughts, think very unsexy thoughts! Grandma in panties, my dad scratching himself with a salad fork, my brother naked on my bed in a 'draw-me-like-one-of-those-french-girls' poses, dead babies, the Twilight Saga.'

It didn't go down so easily or fast at all but it started to die down at the mere mention of that horrible accursed vampire romance movie and novel, honestly what kind of bullshit crap is that? Vampires don't sparkle in the sun, they spontaneously combust and burn into ashes while Werewolves turn into half-man half-wolf beastmen, not transform into a dire wolf!

With my gaze averted I thought that I was safe but when I took a few steps to the side to get away from her but instead I stepped onto a pressure-plate and for a moment I thought I was about to die by a falling rock crushing my body into a fine paste.

Instead it opened the gate we have been trying to get to open up.

Stepping off of the pressure-plate I watched as the gate that slowly began to open immediately came back down, almost skewering one of the gryphon guards.

'Huh, so its like one those switches from Legend of Zelda...gotta find a heavy ass block or statue or something to hold the weight down on this thing.'

That heavy object just so happened to be a rusty tower shield that was left behind leaning on a wall, the gryphon princess saw me step on and off the button and saw the gate open and close at the same time so she put two-and-two together and figured out a work around.

With the shield in place the gate slowly ratchetted its way back up the wall and vanishing into the ceiling, locking itself in place as the shield held its position with a steadfast purpose although its on the floor facing the ceiling in all its rusted glory.

"Okay lets get the hell out of here!" I shouted with glee and for the first time in days there is no way this will come back to fuck me in the ass!

Grabbing the weakened minotaur by the waist once more we all ran or at the very least power-walked our way out from the cave and soon enough we all were out in the sunlight. The glorious warmth of the sun basked us all into its holy aura of heat and safety, and just outside this cave was an used dirt road leading out and away from the cave and off in the distance, the mountain that had Griffonstone perched right on top of and around it.

"Home, so close yet so far away." The princess said as she let out a wistful sigh, at least she has a home, for all I know my home is fucked and long gone.

"I guess this is where we part ways your highness, you and your entourage can fly on home while me, Scrawny and this mino will hobble up the mountain to meet you all up there." I said as I adjusted my hold on the minotaur, the big dude let out a groan of pain before righting his hooved feet on the dirt road and tried to keep himself upright.

Man whatever is wrong with this guy, he needs aid fast or he is fucked eight ways to sunday.

"Hmm, that would be the most logical thing for me to do but leaving my rescuer to fend for themselves in hostile territory it would make me look like a terrible princess for not thanking or rewarding my savior. No, I do believe that I will stay alongside you for the time being until we return safely to Griffonstone." The gryphon princess said with a bit of a strange smile on her beak, her eyes were staring into my own as she size me up, her eyes crawling over every inch of my body as I did the same but it was for a moment before returning to those beautiful hazel-green eyes of hers.

Before I could ponder further on her beauty (if only she were human I would run a train on her) she punched me right in the arm for seemingly no reason what so ever and before I could recover and call her out on it she punched me again.

"Oww! What the fuck is wrong with you!?"

"I remember a certain diamond dog telling me to keep my murderous rage hidden until after we get out from the caves. And look where we are, outside of those caves." She said with a glint of evil in her eyes and before I could explain myself she punches me again but this time it was less painful than it was before and a lot more playful.

'A tsundere most powerful indeed...oh that is going to leave a mark for sure...'

Rubbing my shoulder where she punched me I watched as she walked off towards her guards who formed a loose formation around her and the rest of us, more than likely to keep themselves from getting caught off guard by any would-be attackers or wild beasts.

'I just hope I can survive the trip back to Griffonstone without getting killed...'

Thinking back on it now I came to the realization that during my time here in this new world I have yet to get laid. If I am to die here then I at least want to know the warm and sexy embrace from a female here, I will not die a virgin here.

Following the gryphons from behind, carrying our injured minotaur with the assistance of Scrawny the ten of us started to make our journey back to Griffonstone.

The journey may be perilous, dangerous, and above all else someone might die, but if I remember anything from my many dungeons and dragons campaigns throughout my childhood, one's chances of survival all depends on the roll of the dice.

And I am going to make sure my dice is loaded and rigged so that the scales of fate is tipped in my favor!