Lost Stories of a Changeling's Past
The things that define us all lie in the past.
These were the words that I heard echoing in my head as I lay trapped in the Crystal Cave. After the Canterlot Wedding and trapping my sister here, I became trapped. Doomed to stare at my own reflection in the crystals. The words still echo in my mind.
I was always hearing those words. I was always told that the past memories of a pony affect who they are to the present day. Of course, back then I was only a filly. I didn't know right from wrong, or the power of morals in life. I just had fun whenever I could find it.
Unfortunately, fun was nearly impossible to find.
Even when I was a filly, I was hated. I was rejected, insulted, abused. They all hated me, and I never knew why. Pain and misery were all I knew. And I still had my deformed body.
I was an Alicorn. You know, with a unicorn horn and wings? But mine were different. My wings looked like they came off a giant bug, and riddled with holes. Same thing for my horn. Jagged and missing pieces. Even my hooves were missing parts that made me look like Discord himself had cursed me. My mane was long, a dark blue with one long strand I always let fall in front of my face. My eyes were a dark turqoise brimmed with emerald green. My ears were not pointed, but flat and drooping down behind my temples. I had two front teeth that looked like fangs always hanging over my lower lip, and it made people assume that I 'bite'. On top of all that, my body was pitch black, completing the image that I looked like some kind of darkness fit into one little filly.
My attitude reflected something different about me. I was always quiet and secluded, and always jealous of my sister, Cadence. She was a pink filly with a pink-white mane with deep dark pink eyes. Everypony thought she was just the most adorable thing they'd ever seen, always talking to her when they saw her on the street and asking those frillied questions that everypony asks young children. She would smile and conversate, giving the occasional proud or amused bounce. Many said that one day she fit the spot of being part of our royal family.
I was just an ugly, hole-ridden filly with fangs.
There were times in my life where ponies would view me as no more than an abomination. In turn, they would sometimes attack me and almost kill me. Cornering me in alleys outside Sugarcube Corner, beating me with their hooves and mocking me, throwing me against and into dumpsters, even once breaking my leg and leaving me to wallow. When I was found the next day, I was brought to a hospital after passers-by finally realized I wasn't some creature in an alley, but just a disfigured filly. They brought me in for emergency care, but none of the nurses would lay a hoof on me, worried I would get angry or something. I begged and pleaded for my mother, but they ignored me, injecting me with more medicine I never recognized.
They must have thought a filly with a broken leg, smeared with blood and tears, and had my hideous appearance would bite their hooves clean off. When the doctors and surgeons finally operated, flinching every time I so much as squirmed, I left the hospital in a cast. They left me covered still in my blood and sent me on my way. I stumbled into our family's cottage, and my parents were talking with my sister about how pretty she was today and about her future in the royalty.
They hadn't even come to visit me in the hospital.
I stumbled up the stairs and into my room, and slammed the door. Pulling the covers back in a green glow of my magic, I tucked myself in, said, "Goodnight. I love you," to myself, and leaned back to kiss myself on the shoulder since my parents would never have kissed me goodnight. Every night I would do the same thing, and cry myself to sleep.
As I grew older, I became more and more capable of enduring the attacks. Strikes from hooves that would have broken my bones would only leave bruising. The attacks became less frequent, too. Not because they were afraid of me, but because they were bored of beating me. Even still I would stumble home in my injuries and cry the night away. One time I think I even cried blood, but not me or anypony else cared.
One day it all went too far. I wasn't cornered in an alleyway, but attacked in the Town Square. A couple of stallions beat me relentlessly, and the citizens just looked on. They bruised my eye with a swell the size of a parasprite, broke two of my ribs, and tore one of my wings. But instead of going to the hospital, I did my best to fly. My torn wing didn't help much, but I flew. It was more of a staggering glide, but it got me where I was going.
Celestia's Royal Palace.
As I clumsily landed and stumbled up to the door, two guards stopped me, asking me to state my business here. I simply glared them down with eyes that burned like flames. They let me pass, and I stumbled through the main hall to the throne of the sun goddess herself, collapsing. Two guards ran to me and stood there like I was a threat, and I was expecting another beating. I wouldn't have been surprised if I was attacked right in front of Equestria's Royalty. But even so, Celestia called them off, trotted down from her throne, and put a wing around me. Even though I no longer was a filly, I gave in to my emotions and put my head into her chest, and sobbed. I may have poked her slightly with my disfigured horn, but I didn't care. I needed to see somepony who I knew wouldn't ignore me or abuse me.
When I finally recovered from the anarchy that flooded my emotions, my bloodsoaked blue mane was wet with tears. I looked up pleadingly at the Goddess, and she knew what I wanted. After the emotional breakdown, she had two of her guards escort me home. When one of them knocked their hoof on the door, no one answered, and I pushed in the door. The cottage was dark, and I could hear a quiet sobbing coming from inside. The guards rushed in, and I entered more slowly. When I came in, the guards were standing over my sister. She was soaked with tears as they dripped down onto two masses on the floor.
They were the bodies of my parents.
When the guards had attended to the scene, one looked back at me with pity. I was still standing on the edge of the room, my hooves frozen to the floor. I was shocked.
But I did not shed a tear.
My parents never cared for me. They both marveled over my sister. I had no feelings that they were dead. The only pony that ever loved me was myself. The guards had comforted my sister over her shock, and she quietly weeped. When she was done and they began to gather us up to escort us out, I was already gone. I was not going to be put in some foster home where they would all despise me.
I spent the next three years on the streets. It was always rumored that ponies on the streets would live in cardboard boxes, and it was always a cliche. But they were right. All I had to live in was an old box of brown cardboard to shield me from the rain and wind. I would forage through the garbage for food, which shockingly always caused me to come up with a few rotted scraps. Most ponies would eat grass and daisies cooked into dishes, or even raw. As I had ventured out onto a hill with a single tree and a patch of daisies just outside the village, I knew it was worth a try. I bent my head, opened my mouth over a daisy with a few blades of grass, bit down, and chewed it. The pedals slid around my mouth, and the blades of grass squished out sweet juices around my mouth. Surprisingly, I don't think I have ever tasted anything more disgusting in my life.
I spit out the daisy with a few blades of grass, and took a long drink from a river. I was going to stick to garbage from then on.
As life passed on, I was forgotten by the citizens of Ponyville. Those who remembered me simply ignored me in hatred or in fear. But one not-so-bright day, I crossed with a stallion on a street corner. I was turning that corner when I bumped into him. He was a white stallion with a mane of several shades of blue, and the deepest blue eyes I'd ever seen. It was love at first sight.
Added onto my already grotesque appearance, I was covered in grime and trash, my mane was in tangles, and some kind of green gunk hung from the holes in my legs. I was a mess.
He looked at me, and I exchanged words with another pony for the first time in years.
"Uh... Hi," He said. "My name's Shining Armor. What's yours?" I had an urge to just ignore him, keep walking, or even give him a false name or something. But instead I said, "Chrysalis..." I turned my head away to let my loose strand of hair hang in front of my eyes, blocking the stallion from view.
"Oh. Well it's good to meet you, er... Chrysalis." As Shining Armor finished his sentence, a small, purple filly peered out from behind his leg. Her equally purple eyes were locked on me. I turned my head, and Shining Armor followed my gaze. "Oh! You must be wondering who this is." He stepped aside to show the purple filly. She had a dark violet mane with a purple-pink stripe that followed all the way down her mane and lined up with in the same place on her tail. She ducked her head. "This is my sister, Twilight Sparkle."
"Hi," Twilight said softly and she turned her gaze away, ducking her head.
I did the first respectful thing I could think of, so I glanced at her, said, "Hi," and looked away.
"You look like a Griffon attacked you," Shining Armor said. Considering I knew that already, I had a feeling I knew where this was going. "Why don't you come back with us and we'll get you cleaned up. Are you hungry?" I had not had a decent meal in months. I realized I could not say no, so I nodded my head and followed. Along the way to their home, I noticed that Twilight was continuously glancing at me.
"Is something about me interesting you?" I asked. I was expecting her to say that I looked like an insect that was attacked by a herd of parasprites. But instead, she asked me something quite different.
"How come you don't have your cutie mark yet?" She stared back at my bare flank. It was in that moment I remembered that I never discovered my special talent.
"I don't know. My talent was never made apparent to me." Twilight looked confused, and Shining Armor whispered something in her ear. Her expression turned to understanding, and she looked away, blushing in embarassment.
Finally, we arrived at their house. Well, it wasn't really a house. It looked like a hollowed out tree with windows. As we stepped inside, I was right. A house was hollowed into the trunk, and it all looked like the inside of my cottage, only larger and more than one level. But what stuck out to me the most were the books. Thousands of books.
"Twilight's a reader," Shining Armor said. "Always enjoying her books. In fact, she's read every book in her library at least twice." I don't usually show emotion about other ponies, but I have to admit. I was impressed. "Come on. Lunch is ready." Shining Armor seated us at a table, but I turned down any offers of food.
"Aren't you hungry?" Twilight asked. Truth was, every bite of food I took only tasted like poison. I shook my head. Shining Armor returned with three apples, but Twilight looked at him in confusion, and he immediately understood.
"You aren't eating?" I wanted to explain on the spot why not, but I just shook my head again, moving my loose hair strand in my face again. "Alright. Looks like we're splitting this one, Twi." He set down an apple for each of them, and Twilight stared at the third. Shining Armor thought for a moment, and then a cloud of blue magic went around it, causing the apple to split in two. He set down one half in front of Twilight, and she stared back happily.
But in that moment something happened that would change me forever. My own horn glowed, and a beam of green magic struck their horns. As this happened, the color in their eyes faded green, causing their pupils to spiral uncontrolably. When the magic faded, their eyes returned to normal. But what surprised me the most was that I noticed something: I was full.
Shining Armor looked around confused, and Twilight put a hoof on her head. "What happened?" She asked.
"Ugh, I don't know," Shining Armor said. "I was splitting the apple one minute, and I spaced out with a headache." I knew what I had to do.
"I think it was me," I said. "My magic went out in a beam into your horns, and your eyes faded green, spiraling out of control. Plus, I'm suddenly full."
Twilight looked confused again, but Shining Armor stared on in terror. "Twilight, go to your room."
"What?"
"Just go. The adults need to talk."
Twilight stared on for a moment, and left the room. Shining Armor held his gaze. "I know what you are. You're not welcome here." I couldn't believe my drooping, disfigured ears. Was he rejecting me over my magic?
"What do you think you're saying?" I asked as politely as I could through my anger, which was not very much at all.
"I said you're not welcome here," He went on, his voice unsteady. "You're a Changeling. You feed off the love of other ponies to survive. You can't eat normal pony food. It's all poisonous to you."
I could do nothing but stare on in horror. Me. A Changeling. I never dreamed the nightmare would be reality. Tears welled in my eyes, but I said nothing as I stormed out. I heard Twilight speaking behind me. "What happened? Why did Chrysalis leave?"
"She's a Changeling, Twi. She's dangerous." I never ran so fast in my life. I stormed through crowds of ponies, and left the village. After about an hour of running and finding myself in tears, I ended up on the daisy hill next to the river. Finally I laid down in a patch of the poison flowers and sobbed. As I lay there for about another hour that felt like an eternity, a shadow ascended over me. I looked up to see a shadow of a pony over me, her mane pink in the sunlight.
"Cadence!" I yelled through my tears, springing to my hooves. "Dear Celestia, I thought I would never see you again!" The pink mare of my sister only stared at me, her eyes filled with hatred like fire. "Cadence?"
"You monster!" She yelled. "You killed our parents!" I was never in more shock in my life. "I know what you are! You're a Changeling! You weren't living with us! You were feeding off our love! You drained them of it, and now they've died of you sucking their hearts dry!" Now it was her turn to be in tears. I tried to speak, but she cut me off. "Don't speak to me! You better hope by Celestia herself you never set hoof in Equestria again!" She turned away, her pink-white tail flicking me in the face, and stalked away back toward home. I settled down again, and began to sob even more, but less deeply. It seemed like knowing my sister blamed me for our parents' murder caused me great pain, but knowing I had nothing left muffled it. I no longer cared. I could only lie there and wallow.
After what felt like hours, or even years, night finally fell. As Luna's moon floated into the sky, I drifted into sleep, but I had not cried myself to sleep. I simply fell asleep. When I re-awoke, it was nearly midday. I stood up, stretched, and the reality of the previous day hit me once again. I ducked my head, and slowly, hoofstep by hoofstep, walked back into town.
Everypony around me gave me hated glares. Most didn't even look at me. I knew my Royal sister had spread the rumors, and the damage was done. I half expected somepony to just beat me where my hooves stood and kill me outright, but not one pony would even touch me. I stalked my way back into my old alley at Sugarcube Corner, and laid down to watch the passers-by. More and more time went on, and I knew I was wasting my time. I stalked back out into the open, and looked around. The streets were empty, and not a pony was in sight. I slowly made my way out of the alley, went up to the well in the center of the Town Square, and took a long drink of the water.
Mid-swallow, something bucked me hard in the side. I rolled over onto my back and looked up to see one of the Royal Guards staring at me like a symbol of hatred and injustice. "Queen Chrysalis?" He asked. I did not move, only stared back with anger and fear. "You are under arrest for two charges of murder. Come with me." He grabbed me with his front hooves and shoved me forward, straight in the direction of the Royal Castle.
As we finally entered the main doors, there was a whole crowd of ponies staring me down in hatred. The guard led me forward, straight to the throne of Princess Celestia. She looked down at me in pain, and only nodded to her left. Standing next to her throne was Shining Armor, Twilight Sparkle...
And Cadence.
"What are you all doing here?" I asked. Twilight just looked away in sadness, Shining Armor stared in a mix of anger and pity, while my sister glared me down with a look of hatred.
"Chrysali-... Er, Changeling... Cadence is... Twilights new foalsitter." Shining Armor said. "I was going to ask you, after Twilight became very liking of you. And you crushed her by sucking the life out of us, and doing the same until your parents were lost of love and their lives." Cadence glared on.
"You killed our parents in your own need of love to fill your hunger! I hate you!" She spat. On the outside, I just stared on past the strand of hair in my face, but on the inside, I was crushed. I didn't know whether to cry my disfigured eyes out or sink my fangs into her neck on the spot. To prevent showing emotion on my face, I looked up to Celestia, who was speaking to a guard. The guard turned to the crowd, and yelled out, "Crystal Cave. 70 years." The crowd cheered in approval, and it hit me that the citizens cheered in my condemnation. I couldn't take it anymore. I turned to the crowd.
"Fine! Cheer at my accusation!" I yelled. "But I want you all to know, I confess to their murder! I enjoyed feeding on the love they never gave me! For all those times you insulted me, disgusted of me for being different, and abusing me publicly, I say I do not care! I love that you all hate me! You deserve to know what it's like to hate! To condemn those that did you wrong! I will be spending away my sentence, relishing on your love of hatred for me! Confound you all to Luna herself!" I turned and trotted my way for the Crystal Cave entrance. I knew everything I said was a lie, but I wanted them to hate me. It would fuel my ways. I would have revenge, but I did not know how.
As I was lead into the Crystal Cave, they left me sealed in the mirrored walls of the cave. I simply laid there as the darkness closed around me. I illuminated the room in a green glow with my magic, and found myself staring into thousands of pairs of eyes glaring at me. Instantly, I knew what they were.
Changelings.
I didn't know whether to be terrified or amused. I should have expected they would throw me in with the scum of our kind. But what I saw next was relevating. They all shifted shapes. In a large morphing mass, they appeared as one. They looked like a tall black mare, a blue mane, teal eyes rimmed with emerald, two pointed fangs, torn bug-like wings and hooves, and one strand of hair in its face.
It was me.
I knew what it meant. They accepted me to lead them. I was no outcast. I was Queen Chrysalis. I soon began plotting my revenge. I learned that I could control the shifting mirror walls, and even fade into them as a reflection of myself in the walls. As this became more and more to my ability, I learned I could not only use my magic to phase into solid surfaces, but also control my feeding of love. I could control myself. I could finally be somepony.
I could lead this army of Changelings.
I finally knew how I would have my revenge. After they let me out of this wretched ruin, I would blend with my army and unleash them on Canterlot, Equestria, and my sister. It was the perfect plan.
Knowing of my past, it would now affect my future. I was ready to lead my revenge against those who condemned me.
It was my turn to condemn them.
