The Long Run

by Excy

Rating: teen
Tags: Suicide / Self Harm, Tragedy, Rumble, Discord, Gore, Human, Sad, Silver Spoon, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Romance, Scootaloo
Length: 3110

Spike attends a Suicide Prevention Group.

Spike has been depressed for the past few months, and after a suicide attempt, he must attend a Suicide Prevention Group for 3 months.

Trigger Warning: Suicide

Published 2015-10-23 14:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-12-24 21:54:01 UTC

Prologue

The Long Run

I wake up, but before I open my eyes, I listen to my surroundings. I hear the girls, worried to death, gathered around my bed. Great. They're all here. I hear Rainbow Dash as loud as ever telling them how strong I am, and how I'll be up any minute. And then I hear Pinkie Pie going on about the "Welcome-Back-Spike" party she wants to throw as soon as I wake up, but then I hear Applejack tell her how a party isn't the thing I want as soon as I wake up from a suicide attempt. And then I hear Fluttershy bawl even harder into Rarity's shoulder and that she hopes I wake up. And I hear Rarity console her and tell her that she knows I'll wake up because I've always been able to get through all the hard times, and this is just another one. The only person I can't hear is Twilight. She isn't saying anything. The only reason I know she's here is because I can feel her on the side of the bed shaking. She's scared. I can feel her staring at me, making sure not to miss when I wake up. And then I open my eyes and sit up. Twilight practically jumps at me when I do. Then the girls all turn towards me.

"Spike, you're awake!" Pinkie yelled.

"I knew you would." Rainbow says with conviction.

"Well Ah'll be. Ya' made it." Applejack said in her thick southern accent.

"Spike! A-Are you okay? Y-You scared us." Fluttershy stuttered.

"Spikey Wikey! You're awake!" Rarity said.

"You scared me." Twilight whispered in my ear. At this point I feel like crying.

"I'm sorry." Is all I'm able to make out before she starts talking again.

"I'm the one who should be sorry, Spike! I'm can't believe I let this happen to you! I should have been more caring! I-I should have been a better sister!" She starts to break down on top of me. Then Applejack comes in and saves the day.

"Don't talk yourself down like that, sugarcube. You're a great sister. Ya' didn't know is all." She consoled Twilight, who released me from her embrace. I feel horrible. Emotionally and physically. Twilight spoke up.

"How do you feel?" She asked, which is a really good question. I don't really know how I feel right now. That's mostly because my body feels like I got run over by a truck.

"My stomach's in a lot of pain."

"That's because you got you're stomach pumped, dude." Rainbow Dash said leaning against a wall.

"I figured. I just didn't think it would hurt this much." I said clenching my stomach. We sat in silence for the next few minutes, until the nurse came in.

"Well, I have some news. Even though we did successfully pump your stomach, you're going to have to take it slow the next few days. We can release you today, but only if you stay in bed. No exercise, no strenuous labor, no hard or spicy foods, no fizzy drinks, I think that covers everything. We just need to run a few more tests and he's free to go." Nurse Redheart stated.

"How long will that take?" Rarity asked.

"Not too long. An hour, maybe? We'll let you know."

"Alright then. We'll see you in an hour then." Rarity said looking at me. After they left, the nurse looked at me with a disdained look.

"We don't have to take anymore tests, but I am required to ask you some questions to determine where you go from here. Is that alright?" She sat with a clipboard in hand. Was that a real question?

"Do I have a choice?" She was quiet for a second before answering.

"Not really, but I wanted to let you know before I start hounding you with questions. So first: how old are you?"

"Eighteen."

"What is your sexual orientation?"

"Straight."

"Are you sexually active?" I blushed at the question.

"No."

"Do you drink or smoke?"

"No."

"Do you take any medication?"

"I take antidepressants, which the medication I used to overdose with." She nodded.

"Was this your first attempt of suicide?"

"Um... yes." I hesitated.

"You hesitated."

"Yes, this was my first time." She gave me a questionable looked, but continued.

"Method of attempt: overdose with prescribed medication," she mumbled as she scribbled into her clipboard. "Does your family have a history of suicide?" What an odd question.

"No? At least I don't think so." She finished writing on her clipboard and went over to her computer.

"To ensure your safety,we will be taking you off of your medication until further notice, we will also send Twilight's number to a therapist for you to visit twice a week, and you will be on mild suicide watch." Wait, therapy?

"You're making me go to therapy?"

"Yes. It's for the best." She didn't look away from her computer. Surely I don't have to go.

"What if I don't go?" That got her attention.

"You will be under heavy psychiatric care in a rehabilitation center." Is this serious?

"Are you serious?!" I shouted.

"Very."

"Is there anything else I can do instead of therapy? I will do anything!"

"Hmm..." She sat in thought for a moment before going back to her computer. "Well, there is a suicide prevention group-"

"I'll do it."

"Ar-Are you sure?"

"Positive." She hesitated, but wrote it down.

"I guess that's it then. You will go at least once a week, but you're free to go more than once. I'll make a call letting them know they'll have a new member. You can change after I leave and meet me in the waiting room."

"Sounds good." I say, as she removed an IV from my arm. When i stood up, I instantly felt dizzy. I grabbed my clothes and went towards the bathroom.

"Hey, Spike?" I looked at her. "Whatever the problem is, I can assure you that suicide isn't the answer. And I know you've probably heard this a thousand times before, but it's true. If you ever feel like attempting again, please call this number." She handed me a suicide hotline card. I stared at it before sliding it into my pants pocket and entering the bathroom and shutting the door.

After I was changed, I exited my room and went to the waiting room. There, I saw only Twilight and Nurse Redheart. Twilight hugged me, which was great and all, but she was hugging pretty tight.

"Twilight, you're hurting me." She quickly loosened her hug.

"Spike, there are some papers you need to sign at the desk." Nurse Redheart said. I went over to the desk and began filling out the paperwork. I noticed that Twilight and Nurse Redheart were talking, so I began eavesdropping.

"So Ms. Twilight, I have to inform you of a few things. One, obviously, he is on mild suicide watch. Keep a close eye on him. He is not to be left alone, and only allowed to be alone in the bathroom. If you go out he must either go with you or watched by someone else, he will also be attending a suicide prevention group at least once a week,but he's free to go more than that, and will be attending for 3 months, and he starts this Saturday."

"Okay." After I finished my paperwork, I quickly made it back over to them and help out Twilight.

"So are we good to go?" I asked, just praying we can finally leave.

"If you are finished with that paperwork, then yes. Don't forget the group tomorrow, and here is the address and times. I will let the Discord know you will be joining." Discord?! He's insane!

"Discord?!" Twilight and I yelled in unison.

"Yes, Discord. I know he isn't the sanest of people, but he is very good at what he does right now. He's helping a lot of kids get through tough times." Twilight and I looked at each other. "Do you two have anymore questions before you go?"

On the walk back, I noticed that Twilight would keep looking over at me, as if expecting me to say something.

"Spike?" I glanced over at her without saying a word. "I'm sorry."

"So it starts." I say smirking. Unfortunately, she doesn't find it as funny as I do.

"I'm serious. You don't know how bad I feel that you felt so bad as to... do something so drastic, and I didn't even notice." I didn't say anything. I didn't want to make her feel any worse. "From now on I want to help you. If you ever need anyone to talk to-" Here we go.

"Yeah, yeah, I got it." Her face crinkled.

"I'm not going to hound you about your feelings, Spike, but I really hope that if something's bothering you, you come talk to me," We stopped in front of the door. She caressed my cheek with her hand. "I really care about you, Spike." She said as she entered the castle. I followed her in and shut the door behind me.

Author's Note

Another story? And It's not a one-shot? Awesome! Unfortunately, it's another depressing story. Yay. :yay:

I really hope this one is received well. I'm putting a lot of effort into this one. This one speaks volumes to me and some things I'm going through right now, and it feels good to write again. And no, I'm not suicidal by the way.

I am looking for a proofreader for the future. if you are interested, PM for details.

Also, if you ever feel any suicidal thoughts, please do not hesitate to call this number: 1 (800) 273-8255 (US) or visit this website: You matter, guys and gals. And if you ever need to talk, you can PM me, I am always willing to help you guys out. I might not reply right away though, so be patient.

Excy, out!

Week I Part I

A few days have passed since I was released from the hospital, and I start the group today. I really don't want to. Being in a room with a bunch of sad people including myself is not how i want to spend my Saturday. Twilight said it would be good for me, that being in an environment with people with similar problems to mine would help me or whatever. I think it's stupid. At least it's better than being forced to talk with a stranger.

Anyway, it's pretty early right now. We don't meet until 10 o'clock, and it's 7 a.m. right now. Since I was up so early, I thought I'd do some cleaning for Twilight. It's something I like to do if I'm upset. It gets my mind off of things. I started with the bookshelf and began taking down each book and placed it on the floor near me. I began dusting off the shelves and started putting the books back by genre in alphabetical order. Some time passed, and when I was just about finished, Twilight came downstairs and saw me.

"What are you doing?" She asked, wiping her eyes.

"Just doing some reorganizing. I think I'm done, though."

"How long have you been doing this?"

"Uh, I'm not quite sure," I looked at the clock. 9:32. Jeez, how long was I doing this? "About two hours, two and a half maybe?"

"Wow Spike, usually it's you telling me to take a break, but I think you need to take one and go get ready." I sighed, got up, and went upstairs to get ready.

About ten minutes later, I come back down, ready to leave. When I come back down, I see Twilight in the kitchen fixing up some breakfast. I glance at the clock again. 9:43. Shoot, I need to leave soon. I make my way to the door, and as I'm just about to leave, I hear Twilight say something.

"Spike," I turn to her, but she doesn't look away from her breakfast. "I know you're not looking forward to going, but please, make an effort to keep going. You don't realize how much you mean to others." I don't immediately reply.

"Alright."

"Oh, and Spike? Make some friends, will ya?" She looked at me and smiled. I smiled back, and left.

Boy, do I really not want to do this. I'm standing right outside of the building, which appears to be a small chapel. I take a deep breath, and knock. I get no answer. I'm not late, right? I knock again, this time a little harder and louder. No answer. I'm getting frustrated now. I have to waste my time just for no one to be here? I knock one more time. Nothing.

"Pff. Forget this." I mumble to myself and turn around to leave. Just as I'm about to leave, the door opens behind me. I turn back around, and look at them. I hear them chuckle.

"Spike! Glad you could join us, today. You're just in time, we're about to start. Come on in!" Discord said, levitating towards me and pushing me inside. When I'm inside, I hear the door shut behind me. Guess there's no turning back now. He takes the lead and directs me to follow him. We go down a set of stairs into the basement of the chapel. When we make it to the bottom, I freeze. I really can't believe what I'm seeing.

There are about 12 chairs in a circle in the middle of the basement. Discord levitates himself to his seat besides someone I don't recognize. I don't know what I'm more afraid of: the amount of people here I don't know, or the people here I do. I see Scootaloo leaning back in her chair, which seems like it could fall any minute. Beside her is Rumble, laughing with Scootaloo. A few seats away from them is Silver Spoon, which I'm most surprised about. I wouldn't expect her to be here. She's rich, has Diamond Tiara, she has it all.

"Come, sit, relax." Discord says, poofing up a chair with a snap, fitting it into the circle near Silver Spoon and another boy. I walk slowly towards it, trying not to make eye contact with anyone. I take a seat and sink down into my chair, pulling my hood up over my head.

"I hate to do this to you, Spike, but I'm afraid you're going to have to introduce yourself to the others. You can just say your name, I won't pressure you to say anything you don't want to." I stare at him for a moment, before standing up, putting my hands in my pockets.

"Hi. I'm Spike." And I sit back down. I get a few odd stares, but they don't seem to care. I also got a few smiles from others, which felt oddly comforting.

"So, in honour of our new recruit, shall we recite the quote?" A few groans emerge from the others.

"The quote?" I ask, to no answer, but them beginning.

"We've all been through hardships
We've all been through hell
But we know The Long Run
Will serve us well."

Some of them had bored faces while reciting it, others looked happy. It was bittersweet to see that some people could actually find happiness here. I gave me a bit of hope. When they sat down, Discord the small crowd before him. He noticed some people seemed bored.

"Alright everyone, we're gonna do something a little new. Everyone, find a partner." Discord announced, making everyone look around. Everyone mostly just paired up with the person next to them. I saw Silver Spoon pair up with Rumble, which took me by surprise; I didn't even notice she moved. I sat there, weighing my options. Just then, I felt a tap on my shoulder.

"Hey, I noticed you don't have a partner, would you mind if I paired up with you?" They barely spoke above a whisper. I turned to see Scootaloo, rubbing her arm. She looked at the floor.

"S-Sure." I stuttered. Stuttered?

"G-Good. Because you didn't have a choice." She was putting up a tough front. I couldn't tell if she was being serious or joking, but I think it was the latter. I chuckled nervously and waited for Discord.

"So today, we're gonna take it slow. Since I doubt most of you know each other, we're going to take time to. Get to know each other. Heck, who knows? you might make a new friend." He finished.

"So," she pulled out a chair and sat back-to-front. "What brings you here?" What a way to start off.

"Getting straight to the point, huh?" I chuckled, and so did she.

"Really though, I'm curious."

I sighed. I really did not feel like venting to someone like Scootaloo on my first day here. "The same thing that brings everyone else here." I sunk back into my chair and crossed my arms.

"Not everyone here tried to kill themselves, you know." What?

"How did you-"

"I overheard Rainbow talking about it. Don't worry, though, your secret's safe with me." She winked, which didn't feel any better.

"Well, what about you?" I spoke up. She blushed and looked away. I can tell I made her uncomfortable. "I-I mean, you don't have to if you don't want to." I feel bad. She kinda looks like she's about to cry. She takes a deep breath, and looks back at me. I can tell she's trying to keep her composure.

"Long story short, I did the same as you. I'd like to keep it that way." She said brashly, turning her head. When she looked back at me, I could tell she felt bad as well. "F-For now. I guess it's better like that, right? I mean, I barely know about your secret, and you mine." She rubbed her arm.

"Yeah, at least until we get to know each other better," I said, comforting her. "Hopefully." I mumbled, slouching back into my chair. She giggled.

"What was that last part?" She leaned forward, closing the space between us. Jeez, she heard that? For some reason, I began blushing.

"Uh, N-Nothing." I chuckled nervously. She smirked at me.

"Hm. Fine then," She sat back in her chair. I could tell she heard me, and wasn't gonna go on with it. Just then, Discord spoke up once again.

Author's Note

Happy Holidays! I guess this is my gift to you guys.

Thank you all for a great 2 years of writing. Here's to another year!