Can We Shoot Them All?

by The Devious Writer

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Discord, Diamond Tiara, Dark, Sweetie Belle, Main 6, Coco Pommel, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Tragedy
Length: 1030

Twilight wonders just how many ponies the Rainbow Power can turn to trees. Oops.

After sending the Cutie Mark Crusaders back home, Twilight is captured by another question. Just how far could the Rainbow Power reach? What were the limits?

Could she turn everypony in Equestria into plants?

Published 2015-10-22 14:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-10-22 14:50:02 UTC

A Terrible Sequel to a Terrible Story

Her friends sent the Cutie Mark Crusaders back home, and the Crusaders immediately dashed out, still shaking from whatever they had seen. They were considering leaving as well, but Twilight quickly stopped them. She had an epiphany. A sweet and glorious epiphany. This would be a perfect follow-up. She licked her lips, considering the possibilities. This would be good. This would-

“Uh, Twilight? You all right there?” Pinkie bounced towards her, waving a hoof. “Hello? Pinkie to Twily?”

“What if we shot all the ponies?”

“What.”

“Just how many ponies can the Rainbow hit at once? Could we really hit all of Equestria? Or might there be a range limit on the Rainbow and how many ponies could it hit? Before the Crusaders, we’ve never used these on more than one target.” The girls looked to each other, thinking. Discord chuckled, appearing beside Twilight.

“Oh, princess Sparkle. I do so love your way of thinking. You should really test that out!” Twilight grinned widely.

“Let’s do it!” The girls were hesitant, however. Rarity eventually shrugged.

“Well, I don’t see why not, since we can just fix everything afterwards.” The girls accepted the logic. Immediately, Twilight called for the Rainbow Power, and the girls followed up.

“I think we should have something in mind that we want the Rainbow to do this time,” Fluttershy suggested. The girls nodded in agreement as their bodies once again morphed.

“Let’s turn everypony into plants!” Pinkie suggested.

“Why?”

“Why not?”

“Plants it is.”

Once again, Harmony flowed through their beings, empowering them. With a thought, they gave their power a purpose, and Rainbows shot in all directions. Discord felt the grin wiped off his face.

“Diamond Tiara, lighten up. You’ll see just how fun canoeing can be.” Filthy Rich sat at the back of the canoe rowing, while Spoiled Rich and Diamond Tiara struggled to stay awake. Father had decided a family outing would be a great way for mother to relax after a quarrel with the school board. Rolling her eyes, Diamond looked up to see a Rainbow flying towards them.

“Hey, isn’t that the-” The rainbow shot through them, transforming the family into evergreens, their roots digging into the canoe. With the sudden increase in weight, the canoe capsized and sank.

She’d woken up when a beam of wood had fallen from the ceiling, alerting her to the raging fire through her apartment. It immediately became clear she had been trapped when the fires had blocked the door, and the balcony had set ablaze. She was cornered in the room, hoping a firepony would make it in time.

She gasped in relief when a Pegasus firepony burst through the balcony with a raincloud. She immediately regretted it as smoke filled her lungs. The firepony rushed towards her, picking her up.

And then they were zinnias.

“And then her leg fell off! I was so scared, but then the rainbow… You don’t care, do you?” Sweetie Belle glared at Opal. The cat hissed at her before yawning. Curling up, she prepared to take a nap, when the smell of catnip entered her nose. How had that gotten there? Sweetie Belle had left… Getting up, she realized Sweetie must have left it for her. She purred, and took a bite.

The girls simply stared in awe as Discord stumbled around, a tomato having replaced his head. It stumbled, crashing into walls and furniture.

“Ah always knew Discord had a vegetable for brains.” Fluttershy gasped.

“Applejack! That’s… that’s so rude! Tomatoes have seeds; they’re fruit!” Twilight flashed her horn. Applejack glared at Fluttershy.

“Don’t ya dare take this from me, ya hear?” Fluttershy blushed, hiding behind her mane.

“Girls, shut up! It worked! I can’t sense a trace of pony anywhere! Celestia’s a sunflower! Luna’s a moonflower! Cadance is a jas-”

“There are plants called moonflowers? That sounds absolutely delightful!” Pinkie Pie suddenly shuddered, falling flat on her face. Groaning, she sat up, rubbing her head.

“We’re in for a doozy… A big doozy… Like… A-bunch-of-ponies-just-died big…”

“Are you sure?” Twilight asked nervously. Pinkie Pie shrugged and stood up. Discord suddenly plopped down on Rarity’s back.

“I wonder if the centaurs turned into half-plant half… Uh… Centaur.” Rainbow Dash jumped back as Discord rolled onto the ground.

“We should really turn everypony back now.” Fluttershy muttered nervously. Twilight nodded, summoning the Rainbow once more.

She immediately swallowed water as she transformed back into a pony, then coughed as she tried to breathe in. Her eyes stung as she struggled to hold a breath. She panicked, flailing her hooves to try and find the surface. She never learned to swim. How did she end up in the water? How far was she from air? She looked in all directions, but all she could see was water.

There was father... He knew how to swim! He was coming for her! The moment he came close enough, she grabbed on to his hoof. She held on tight, closing her eyes and waiting to reach the surface. Instead, he started kicking her away. Diamond felt horror as her dad managed to tug her off, and began to swim up. Where was he going? Why wasn’t he saving her? She screamed out for him, and water rushed into her lungs.

The firepony holding the hose blinked, dumbfounded. Just a moment ago, he had been shooting a single burning building. He had looked away only a second when a rainbow flew through the sky, and now the whole block was on fire, and there was nothing left of the building he had been aiming at.

Opal exploded.

“Are you serious? They woke me up to make a forest?” Discord’s head nodded. The ball of light groaned, flickering as it did so.

“I still think you’re a tumor. Just… A dumber tumor.”

“I always forget that head of mine is pony…”

“I always forget that ponies are idiots.”

Author's Note

ONE DAY I WILL WRITE COMEDY THAT ISN'T ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE. JUST YOU WAIT. DO U NO HOW HARD IT WAS TO MAKE THIS 1000 WORDS.??..?