Mrs. Cake glanced at Pinkie, thickest incredulity on her brow. Pinkie nodded her head vigorously.
"I swear it's true! There's a real live monster in my closet! It wants to eat me... I'm pretty sure."
"Even if it was real," said Mrs. Cake, placing a hoof on the doorknob to Pinkie's closet, "how do you know that it wants to eat you."
"It told me! It looked out of my closet and roared, 'I'M GONNA EAT YOU!'" Pinkie dramatized.
Mrs. Cake flinched. Mrs. Cake opened the closet door with no hesitation. Pinkie hopped into her bed, throwing her blanket over her head.
To Mrs. Cake's expectations, there was nothing in the closet that was out of the ordinary. Perhaps a strange trinket scattered about the floor, but nothing else.
"Pinkie... I don't believe you." She stepped away from the closet, leaving it slightly open.
Pinkie gasped. "What?! B-but why?"
"Pinkie, you should have stopped believing in monsters in your closet ages ago," Mrs. Cake rebutted.
"Yeah! I know! That's why I'm freaking out! I know that there's not supposed to be a monster in my closet, but I swear he said it would eat me last night."
Mrs. Cake sighed. "I expect Pound and Pumpkin Cake to be doing something like this. Not you."
Pinkie stammered an incomprehensible response, but fell silent when Mrs. Cake touched her shoulder.
"Why not sing that Giggle at the Ghosties song you like so much?" she suggested with a smile. "Now, I need to get back to work. If your song doesn't work, come talk to me again."
Mrs. Cake walked out of the door. Pinkie sighed, feeling a cold feeling blow against her shoulder. The closet door was ajar. A sense of dread fell upon the room like a tsunami.
"Giggle at the G-G-Ghosties."
A massive form crept forth from the closet, though it was obscured by the closet door. A green tentacle flopped to the floor, the creature hissing quietly.
Pinkie backed herself into a corner. It was at that time that she wished that Twilight cast a noclip spell on her.
It's claws scraped across her carpet. And it was such a nice carpet, too. They spared no expense.
It took hold of the wall for leverage. It cackled a terrifying cackle. "CHEGH CHEGH CHEGH CHEGH."
"OOHH, IT'S TERRIFYING!"
What did I literally just say. I don't need you doing my job for me.
"I'm sorry, Narrator Jerry! Help me!"
It was terrifying.
"That's not very helpful," Pinkie yelped.
"RAWWWWWRRRRRRR!!"
Pinkie screamed. And then scrammed, but there was nowhere she could escape. She would meet her doom in the monster's slimy, disgusting jowls.
The monster stepped forth from the closet with a sickening thump. And with another thump, it tossed her baking set across the room. It was such a nice baking set, too. She spared no expense.
"You monster, you... monster." Pinkie confusedly stroked her chin trying to think of a word to shout at it.
Pinkie didn't even notice Gummy slinking across the floor until it was almost too late.
The monster, in its fury, raised a big, fleshy foot to stomp Gummy into a little pile of Gummy Alligator goop.
Pinkie would have Nunuvat. "Hey! Step on my alligator will you?"
The monster froze, surprised that Pinkie was no longer stricken with fear. On the contrary, she had discovered a new feeling of bravery and rage deep within her psyche.
With a volume that would make Fluttershy proud, Pinkie shouted, "Back up, Bub!"
The monster did as commanded. Gummy would aligator another day.
"Get back in the closet! Go! Back, filthy monster!"
Sadly, the monster whimpered. Unsure of what to do, it retreated into the closet, wailing pitifully.
"Ughhhh."
Proudly, Pinkie hopped onto her bed. "I have conquered the beast! Come, Gummy! Revel with me!"
The alligator remained stationary, seemingly unaware of what the word revel meant. Pinkie momentarily hopped off of her bed to retrieve her reptile. She returned to the bed and flourished the tiny alligator with so much sass, that Sassy Saddles would be jealoous.
Before her victory could be entirely celebrated, a gruff, rough, and... tough voice rang out through her room.
"Ay!" it shouted.
"Who said that?" Pinkie inquired.
"I did, filly!" From her closet, a green furred and grey haired pony stepped out. It totally didn't look like the monster. "What do you think you're doin' making my grandson cry like that?"
"You...Your grandson?" Pinkie's face cringed at the thought.
"That's right! How would'ja like it if I came in 'ere and made'ou cry, huh?"
"I-I-I—"
"You wouldn't like it! Apologize to my grandson roight nao!"
Pinkie, still a little confused, did as she was told.
"Uh... I'm sorry."
The monster, sniffling and wiping away snot from its nose with his sword hand, emerged from the closet. He smiled a toothy grin.
"Euluh."
"Uh... yeah, thanks."
"Good," the gruff, male voiced pony.
It reached inside of its orifice and pulled out a crumpled-up piece of paper. Pinkie, shaking away the spit from the paper, uncrumpled the paper. Inside, it was a crude drawing of a pink being and an unholy abomination of a self-portrait that she had ever seen in her life. But the two were joined together by hoof and... some... appendage. As far as she could tell, anyway.
"Aww, that's so sweet. Thank you!"
The monster blushed, and stalked back into the closet.
"Now he feels better. Don'tcha feel bettah, too?"
"You know what, I do. I don't even care that he said that he wanted to eat me."
"He can be like dat sometimes. Especially when his father isn't around."
"He has a father?"
"Of course he has a fauther! Don't you have a fauther?"
"Yeah... but I don't know how monsters work."
The pony turned around and walked back into the closet.
"W-wait," Pinkie asked of the elderly pony.
She peeked her head out of the closet door. "What?"
"How long have you been living in my closet?"
"A very long time. I'm actually surproised that you haven't noticed."
And with that, the elderly pony disappeared back into the closet. "Damon, it's toime for lunch!"
"Eeehheee!"
Pinkie smiled. But just then, Mrs. Cake burst into the room with a frightened look on her face.
"Pinkie, what's wro—" Mrs. Cake's jaw dropped when she saw the wreck that she could barely call Pinkie's room. "What happened in here?"
"It's okay, the monster drew me a picture!" Pinkie proudly presented the monster's drawing to Mrs. Cake.
Mrs. Cake stared at the drawing for only a moment. She left Pinkie's room, silently closing the door behind her.
"Welp, time for bed!" Pinkie exclaimed.
With a leap and jump and a hop, Pinkie bounded into bed, immediately falling asleep.
END
