My Little Undertale

Chapters

The Ruins
Snowdin
How We Got Here

The Ruins

* something… is wrong. terribly wrong

The Filly awoke on a bed of golden-bloomed flowers that grew within the pool of sunlight streaming down from a hole which seemed to be miles away. Her head ached terribly, and as she tried to get to her hooves a wave of nausea forced her to empty the contents of her stomach onto the ground. As soon as she stopped vomiting, she bit off one of the flowers to wash the taste of bile from her mouth. The bloom tasted heavenly, but her stomach still felt uneasy so she put off eating anymore and instead felt her head until she found a raw, painful lump where she’d evidently hit her head on landing.

Where am I? the Filly wondered, looking around the small cavern. Did anypony else…? No, it was immediately obvious that she was alone. There was no way of climbing up to the hole in the ceiling, but she did see an opening in the wall leading into a passage. I hope this leads out of here, she thought as she followed the passage. It was dark, but enough sunlight filtered into the passage for the Filly to see the walls for most of the distance, and soon she saw more light coming from the other end. The passage only let out into another small cave lit from a hole in the ceiling. In the light, a golden flower twice as large as the ones she’d woken up on stood up tall on its stem, and the Filly stopped short with a gasp when she saw that the flower had a smiling face.

Her surprise was compounded when the flower winked and spoke. “Howdy!” it said in a sweet-sounding voice. “My name’s Flowey. Flowey the Flower.”

“Uh,” the Filly started to say, although she wasn’t sure if she wanted to introduce herself or just ask a question.

“Golly, you look lost,” Flowey went on before the Filly could order her thoughts. “And confused. Well, you’re lucky you have a friend like Flowey to show how things work here in the Underground. Let’s get started!” The Filly’s heart started to beat hard, like it was trying to burst from her chest, and her vision swam and blurred at the edges until all she could see was a white image of the talking flower and a red heart floating in front of her. “See that heart?” Flowey asked. “That’s your soul, the very culmination of your being. Your soul starts off weak, but can grow strong if you gain a lot of LOVE. Do you want some LOVE?”

A flower is hitting on me? The Filly thought, nonplussed, but she nodded.

“Great!” Flowey exclaimed, winking again sticking out a tongue in flirtatious manner.

Definitely hitting on me, the Filly thought. Is this my life now?

“Down here,” Flowey said as five little pellets flew into the air from behind its petals, “LOVE is shared through little white… friendliness pellets.” ~~The flower’s eyes slid to the side on the last two words, which made the Filly doubtful.~~ “Ready?” it asked, and the pellets started moving toward the Filly’s soul. “Move around; catch as many as you can!” The Filly watched the incoming pellets, and at the last second jumped to the side to avoid them.

Flowey gave the Filly a strange look and said, “~~Hey, buddy, you missed them.~~ You know what? I don’t have time to mess around. Just DIE!” Flowey’s face twisted into a black-eyed, evil grin as dozens of pellets appeared around the Filly, trapping her in a dome of spinning death that closed in on her as the flower laughed. Just before the pellets touched the Filly, they suddenly vanished in a flash of light. Flowey’s evil grin faded into a resigned expression. “Huh,” it said simply, then glanced behind itself and disappeared into the ground just in time to avoid a fireball that came flying toward it.

The Filly looked in the direction the fireball had come from and saw a bipedal goat-like creature wearing a long white and purple robe run up and stomp a foot on the spot Flowey had disappeared into. “What a terrible creature,” it said in a gently bleating, feminine voice, “torturing such a poor, innocent youth.” She stomped once more and then looked up at the Filly. For a fleeting moment she looked very surprised, but then schooled her face into an expression of caring gentleness. “Ah, do not be afraid, my child. I am Toriel, the caretaker of the Ruins. I pass through here every day to see if anyone has fallen down. I admit, I never expected to find-”

Thorny vines suddenly burst from underneath Toriel’s feet and tangled themselves around her body and arms. One vine crept to the top of her head and unfolded into the nightmare face of Flowey. “Kehehahaha!” Flowey cackled as his vines took full control of Toriel’s body. “So sorry, Tori, but you’re not saving this one. Down here, it’s kill or be killed, so nobody leaves this room until somebody’s dead!”

“N-no,” Toriel bleated helplessly as the vines forced her to raise her arms and prepare a fire magic attack. “Run, my child, before it’s too-” Fireballs sprayed wildly from her hands. The Filly backed into the wall trying to get away from the fire and then pranced quickly from side to side to try and slip her soul-heart between the fireballs. She dodged most of the attack, but one of the last fireballs struck her in the chest. She winced in pain as she felt the fire steal some of her strength, but when she looked down she saw no burns on her body.

“That’s odd,” she murmured.

“Come on now, little… horse,” Flowey taunted from his perch on Toriel’s head. “You’re still standing, so strike back! Get some payback for the pain! Kehehaha!”

“No,” Toriel started to beg, only to be silenced as Flowey grew a vine over her mouth. The Filly stood rooted to the spot, overcome with fear and confusion, wishing desperately for somepony to come save her, and then started to cry.

“Ugh, don’t waste my time!” Flowey shouted, forcing Toriel’s hands up again. More fireballs rained toward the Filly, and this time she leaped forward as she dodged between the attacks. Fireballs sideswiped her twice, but at the end of the wave she remained on her feet. “You’re tough one at least,” Flowey noted reluctantly. “Could you stand another round, though?”

The Filly looked at the evil, sneering flower, and then at the tear-filled eyes of the goat-creature it was controlling. Determination filled her, and she lowered her head and scuffed the ground challengingly. Flowey started to taunt her again, but before he could get more than a word out the Filly charged, climbed up to Toriel’s shoulders, and then bit through Flowey’s stem and flung the golden blossom away. The vines entangling Toriel dried up and crumpled into dust, and her arms came up one more time to catch the Filly in a hug as she fell off Toriel’s shoulder and her vision returned to normal.

“Thank you,” Toriel said gently before setting the Filly down. “Now come on,” she said, “let me guide you to another part of the catacombs before that thing returns.” The Filly nodded and followed Toriel deeper into the caverns.

Shortly, they came to an opening in the cave walls that had been turned into a doorway. On the other side of the door was a room of worked stone lit by torches. The room contained only six raised stone buttons on the floor and a switch on the wall along with a second door opposite the entrance. Toriel stepped on four of the buttons and then pulled the switch, which opened the door, and motioned the Filly to follow her through.

“There are many puzzles like that in the ruins,” Toriel explained in the next room, “fusions of old games and mechanisms to open the doors. You’ll need to learn how to solve them in order to navigate the ruins. But do not worry, I will guide you.” She started to lead the way through the long room, but paused and looked back at the Filly. “Oh, and you may run into other, less friendly monsters as we go. Don’t panic and don’t try to fight; I’ll step in and protect you right away.” She turned away, only to pause and turn back one last time, taking a piece of candy out of her robe. “Eat this,” she said, handing the candy to the Filly. “It should heal some of the damage your soul sustained.”

“Thank you,” the Filly said, and ate the candy. It seemed to melt instantly in her mouth, leaving behind a hint of flavor that could only be described as “not licorice,” and she immediately felt much healthier. Toriel smiled as the Filly’s eyes lit up with pleased surprise and then the pair set off again. The walk through the first part of the room was uneventful, but just as Toriel and the Filly reached a part where the room narrowed into a twisting tunnel, a giant froggish monster landed between the two, blocking the Filly. “Hey!” the Filly snapped, “get out of my way!”

The frog looked less sure of itself in the face of the Filly’s attitude, and when Toriel tapped it on the head and gave it a death glare, it slunk sheepishly back into the hole it had emerged from.

“Are you ok, my child?” Toriel asked.

“I’m fine,” the Filly said. “Honestly, I could have scared that thing off by myself.”

“Maybe,” Toriel said, frowning, “but most monsters aren’t so easily frightened. You should never fight, but you will often need to be clever to talk monsters out of fighting you.”

“Oh, I’m very good at talking ponies into doing what I want,” the Filly said proudly.

“Maybe,” Toriel said again.

They left the hallway, and the Filly hesitated when she saw that the floor of the next room was almost entirely covered in metal spikes. Toriel stopped at the edge of the spikes and looked from them to the Filly and back again a few times. “Uh, I’ll just carry you through this, ok?” she said at last and picked the Filly up before she could respond. Once she had a good grip, Toriel stepped out and the spikes retracted beneath her feet as she traced a winding path to the other end of the room. She set the Filly down in front of the door to the next room and rubbed her head, saying, “Puzzles may be too much for you after all.”

The Filly raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything. It was becoming clear to her that Toriel had real strong motherly tendencies that crossed into overprotectiveness, but that was something the Filly could put up with for the moment.

They passed through the door into a passageway so long the other end was hidden in shadow. Toriel turned to the Filly and said, “I’m sorry to ask this, my child, but I need you to try and walk to the end of this hallway alone.” The Filly looked past Toriel at the empty-seeming hall and then gave Toriel a questioning look. “I’m sorry,” Toriel apologized again, and then took off running down the hall.

“I have been hit by fireballs and ripped an evil flower off your head, lady” the Filly muttered as she set off at a trot. “If you think I can’t handle walking down a hall by myself…” She began her trot with confidence, but after a few dozen feet she started to feel a little apprehensive, wondering if any monsters were lying in ambush. When the end of the hall came into clear view and nothing had yet jumped out of her, the Filly picked her pace back up until she noticed Toriel trying with middling success to hide behind a lone marble pillar. Heaving a huge sigh, she walked up to the pillar and asked, “What’s your deal, Toriel? I saved you from Flowey, but you’re acting like I’m helpless.”

Toriel stepped out from behind the pillar with a hard, disapproving look on her face that made the Filly take an involuntary step back. The Filly’s reaction filled Toriel with shame, and she looked away. “I know what you mean, my child,” she said, “but…” she stopped and shook her head. “No, I still don’t think this is best place to talk. But, if you want, I’ll go on ahead and let you try the puzzles up ahead on your own. Take this cell phone.” She pulled a cell phone out of her robe and held it out to the Filly, only to hesitate as she suddenly realized the Filly’s lack of hands. “Oh dear, how is this going to work?”

The Filly grabbed the cell phone in her mouth, set it on the ground, and examined it for a second. “What’s it do?” she asked at last.

“It would let us talk even if we’re far away from each other,” Toriel explained, “so you could call for help if you get stuck on a puzzle or run into trouble. But how would you even carry it?” In answer, the Filly scooped the phone up with one hoof and balanced it expertly on her back. “Of course,” Toriel said, smirking. “Alright, let me show you how to call me and answer if I call you…”

The puzzles of the Ruins proved to be far simpler than the Filly suspected, although she did have a fright early on when the floor in one room suddenly gave way under her hooves. She didn’t fall far and landed on a thick pile of leaves, and there were stairs right by the pile that let her climb back up and continue on her way. Toriel called the Filly a couple times, first to ask if she liked butterscotch and cinnamon, and then just a few seconds later to see if the Filly was all right. The Filly had answered the second question with an exasperated “yes” and Toriel took the hint, promising to wait until the Filly called her for help.

Monsters were even more of a nonissue. There were timid flying things that fled the moment the Filly so much as looked in their direction, living piles of jelly that did nothing to stop her from walking around them, and more oversized frogs. Those actually made efforts to attack by spitting magic flies at her, but the Filly found that a couple threatening words was enough to make them back down.

After navigating across a dangerously cracked floor and having to talk a rock into sitting on a button that removed some spikes from her path, the Filly entered a small room that narrowed in the middle. There was what looked like a large bedsheet ghost lying on a pile of leaves in the narrow space, taking up so much room that the Filly didn’t think she could slip past. The ghost was making fake sleeping noises and didn’t budge when the Filly approached. Apprehensive about disturbing something that clearly wanted to be left alone, the Filly withdrew to the room’s entrance and called Toriel.

“Hello? This is Toriel,” the goat-creature answered after the first ring.

“There’s a… ghost in my way,” the Filly said. “What should I do?”

“Hm. What’s it doing?” Toriel asked.

“It’s just lying there right now,” the Filly said, “pretending to sleep.”

“Oh,” Toriel sounded relieved. “That’s probably just Napstablook. He comes into the ruins every so often to act gloomy and depressed, but he’s harmless. Mostly.”

“Mostly?” the Filly deadpanned.

“Well, no monster is completely harmless,” Toriel said. “Just talk to Napstablook; he might need a little encouragement to get up, but if you’re polite he won’t mind getting out of your way.”

“Ok, thanks,” the Filly said before hanging up. “I guess.” Steeling herself, the Filly walked over to the ghost. “Excuse me,” she said, “but I need to get past.”

“Oh,” Napstablook said in a distant, depressed voice, “it’s come back.” They got up and looked down at the Filly with a gloomy expression. “Guess I have no choice.” They sighed, and the Filly’s vision swam as her soul-heart appeared.

“Wait a minute,” the Filly protested, “I don’t want to fight! I’m just passing through, honest.” Napstablook blinked slowly. “Could you move aside just for a second, please?” the Filly asked.

“Ok,” Napstablook said. The Filly’s vision returned to normal as the ghost floated up into the air. The Filly started to walk across the leaf pile, but after a moment’s thought she made a mighty leap and almost cleared the pile without setting foot on it. Napstablook floated back down the ground and turned to look at her.

“Thank you,” the Filly said, giving the ghost a wave as she continued on. “Have a nice day.”

Napstablook watched her leave until she round a corner out of sight. At length, the ghost smiled. “‘Have a nice day’? Well, I guess I can try that for a change.”

The puzzles grew a little more complicated as the Filly delved deeper into the Ruins, and she met new kinds of monsters. The large talking carrots threw her for the biggest loop at first, but once she discovered that they could produce vegetables out of thin air she tried to talk one of them into traveling with her. The carrot had only said “Vegetables don’t talk, silly!” and disappeared into the ground. The Filly scratched her head at that for a moment, and then continued on with a shake of her head.

Finally, the Filly came to a large cavern with a black tree planted in the middle and a house built into the far wall. As the Filly entered the cavern, Toriel emerged from the house and started to pull out her cell phone. She noticed the Filly just after dialing the Filly’s number, put the phone away, and ran up to the Filly with a look of relief. “There you are,” Toriel said, “I was starting to worry. Come, come inside, my child.”

The house was small but wide, and filled with the aroma of cinnamon and butterscotch. The entry room contained a staircase heading down and doorways leading to the left and right. Toriel guided the Filly into the hallway on the right and stopped in front of the first of three doors. “This will be your room,” Toriel said, rubbing the Filly’s head. “You must be worn out from all your walking and puzzle-solving, so why don’t you take a little nap? The pie needs more time to cool anyway.”

The Filly started to protest, but a sudden urge to yawn broke in on her thoughts, so she simply gave Toriel a grateful nod and went into the room. The bedroom wasn’t lavish, but the bed, desk, wardrobe, and lamp all had a comfortable, welcoming design. In fact, between a complete lack of dust and the presence of old toys and shoes made for feet like Toriel’s on many, smaller scales, the room looked like it had seen regular use up until recently. Filing that away with the other questions she had, the Filly turned off the lamp and climbed into the bed for a quick nap.

She awoke to the smell of butterscotch and cinnamon and opened her eyes to see a slice of pie on a plate on the floor. She climbed off the bed and tried a bite. The pie melted in her mouth as quickly as the candy from earlier, and the Filly’s eyes closed in pleasure at the taste. She gobbled down the rest of the pie and then picked the plate up in her mouth before stepping out into the hall to look around. She found Toriel sitting in a chair reading a book by a hearth in the room on the other side of the entryway, and to the left of the fireplace was a door leading to a kitchen. “Oh,” Toriel said, looking up, “you’re awake already.”

The Filly nodded as she walked past Toriel into the kitchen to put her plate in the sink. “The pie was delicious, Toriel,” she said when she re-entered the sitting room. She then sat down in front of Toriel and gave her an expectant look. Toriel looked uncomfortable and awkwardly averted her gaze down to the book in her hands. The Filly sighed in exasperation. “Enough stalling,” she snapped. “I really appreciate how nice you’ve been, but I need to know how to get home. And what was up with that crazy flower?”

Toriel flinched and tears formed in the corners of her eyes. “Can’t… can’t you just let this be your new home?” she asked.

“No,” the Filly said firmly. “I already have a home, in Ponyville. My parents must be worried sick about me and-” She stopped short as Toriel slammed her book closed and stood up.

“One moment,” Toriel said with a stoic expression. She went into the kitchen for a moment, and then came back out and headed for the entryway. “Follow me, my child,” she said. “I have some things to tell you.” The Filly followed her into the entryway and down the stairs, which led into a long, winding tunnel. “The underground is a much more dangerous place outside the Ruins, you know,” Toriel said as they walked. “The monsters will be more aggressive, more willing to kill to serve their own ends. There’s one in particular who…” she paused and looked back at the filly. “Actually,” she said, “I don’t think you have much to fear from Asgore. If you were a human, it would be a much different story.”

“What’s a human?” the Filly asked.

Toriel stopped short and looked at the Filly in complete bewilderment. “You… did fall down here from the surface, didn’t you?” she asked at last. The Filly nodded, and Toriel turned back around very slowly and then resumed walking down the hall. “I suppose that makes another strong argument to let you leave the Ruins,” she said at length, “since there are no clues to your origin to be found here.” Toriel and the Filly turned one last corner and came to the great gate at the end of the ruins. The gate bore a crest consisting of a winged circle above three triangles, which Toriel laid one hand upon before turning around to face the Filly with an expression of profound sadness.

“I have one last thing for you to consider before you decide to leave, my child,” Toriel said. “One last reason why, despite the courage and determination you’ve shown, I fear you will only be walking into death. When we first met, it wasn’t the first time I had encountered Flowey. I have seen him in this very spot on many occasions, imitating my voice to speak to someone who guards the other side of the door, and he has slipped past all my attempts to bar him from this hallway.” Toriel’s gaze dropped to the ground. “The last time I caught Flowey here, he was trying to convince his friend on the other side to kill anything that passes through the door. Little one, you may not have anything to fear from Asgore, but if you step outside these Ruins you still face certain doom. Do you really wish to leave?”

The Filly considered Toriel’s words. She had to admit to herself that she was scared, and that Toriel did know more about this strange world she’d fallen into. Toriel’s house, while modest, did feel like it could be a home if she chose to stay, but the Ruins as a whole were less welcoming. There was also the fact that whatever potential dangers the outside held, Flowey was in the Ruins, and the Filly doubted that the wicked flower would stay down despite the damage the Filly’s bite had done to it earlier.

Looking up at Toriel, the Filly asked, “Couldn’t you come with me?”

A sad smile crossed Toriel’s face. “I wish I could, my child, truly,” she said, “but I… I have to stay and watch for anyone else who may fall down here. It wouldn’t be right to leave any other poor souls to Flowey’s… mercy.”

“Right,” the Filly agreed. “I still have to go; I need to try and find a way home and I can’t count anypony else coming down to find me.”

Toriel nodded, reluctantly. “I thought as much,” she said. “Looking at you with honest eyes, you seem to be a child used to having her own way. You wouldn’t be happy staying in the Ruins. I have a couple last gifts for you.” She produced a small drawstring bag which she tied to the Filly’s side. “This should make it easier for you to carry any items you find, as well the gold monsters tend to drop after a fight is resolved. I put another piece of butterscotch cinnamon pie in there, for the road.” She then gave the Filly a long hug and then started to leave. After a few steps, however, she stopped and took one last look back. “Forgive me,” she said, “but I never asked what your name is, did I?”

The Filly looked up from putting her cell phone into the bag, then ran a pink hoof self-consciously through her mussed silvery-grey mane. “My name,” she said, “is Diamond Tiara.”

Snowdin

Author's Note

Well look at you! You made that look easy!

Too easy.

You think you understand how to bend the rules of this world to suit yourself? Don’t kid yourself; there’s no way you’ll stay on this path the whole way. Not after you see how the world really is. But go ahead; it’ll be fun to see how far you get before you break. And since you only get one shot at it…

Kehehahaha!

Snowdin

For a brief moment after stepping through the Ruins exit, Diamond Tiara thought she had escaped the underground entirely, and that Winter had somehow come already. Snow covered the ground and tall black trees lined the path forward thickly on either side, but when she looked up she saw that the trees were brushing against a rock ceiling studded with twinkling crystals which cast the whole, enormous cavern in perpetual twilight. The Filly’s disappointment was quickly swallowed up as she heard movement within the trees and she remembered Toriel’s warning that something nearby probably wished her dead. She briefly considered going back into the Ruins, but stopped herself with a determined snort.

“I refuse to be afraid,” she said loudly, and set off down the path at what she hoped looked like a confident trot. The path went on and on with no turns or change to the screening trees on either side. Every so often, a sound came from the trees, but nothing jumped out to attack her. After a short while, she saw a black stick lying across the road and decided to pick it up and carry it in her mouth.

The stick made her feel a little more confident about facing whatever might be stalking her, until she’d gone a few feet and heard a voice behind her ask, “What happened to my stick?” Diamond Tiara whirled around, but saw nothing on the path behind her. After looking around for a moment, she whirled back around, saw that nothing had snuck up while her back was turned, and started trotting again, a little faster. Eventually, she saw some kind of structure in the distance, and at the same time felt something watching her. When she stopped and looked around, she still saw nothing, but the feeling of another presence nearby didn’t go away. Diamond Tiara gulped and broke into a run toward the structure, which she soon saw resembled wooden arches built over a bridge across a short gap.

Just before the Filly reached the bridge, something suddenly appeared behind her and said, “Hold it right there. Don’t move.” Diamond Tiara bit hard onto her stick as she fought the urge to run screaming. “Before you turn around,” the voice, deep and rattling, said, “I have one question. Does the name ‘Frisk’ mean anything to you?”

“N-no…?” Diamond Tiara answered.

“You sure?” The Filly nodded, and something seemed to change in the presence behind her; it no longer felt menacing. “Alright then,” it rattled, “now turn around and give your new friend a handshake. Or hoofshake in your case.”

New friend? Diamond Tiara thought in bemusement even as she turned around to comply. She closed her eyes before getting a good look at the figure and reached a hoof out to what she thought was its proffered hand.

Pffffft. Bllllr…

Diamond Tiara’s eyes popped open at the unexpected sound and stared into the white, grinning face of a bipedal skeleton about half a head taller than her wearing a blue hoodie and black shorts. Blue lights glowed in the skeleton’s eyes as it spoke in a chuckling rattle. “the old whoopee cushion in the hand prank. a classic, don’t you think?” It returned its hand to its hoodie pocket. “i’m sans, sans the skeleton. nice to meet you.”

“Um, nice to meet you, I think?” Diamond Tiara said. “I’m Diamond Tiara… the pony.”

“nice name,” Sans said, “very fancy.”

“Thank you,” the Filly said proudly. “So, why were you following me?”

Sans shrugged. “just doin’ my job, guarding the door to the ruins and dealing with anyone who comes out.” Diamond Tiara gasped and backed away from the skeleton until she stood on the other side of the bridge and tried to brandish her stick. “calm down, kid,” Sans said, holding his hands up, “i don’t mean you any harm. we do need to have a long chat, though, about how your being here is going to affect things.” He put his hands back in his pockets and walked across the bridge. Diamond Tiara moved aside to put space between her and the skeleton, and Sans walked by without comment. He stopped after a few feet and looked back. “you don’t want to have the talk here, do you?” he asked. “it’s cold, there’s nothing to eat for miles, and you haven’t met my brother yet.”

“Brother?’ Diamond Tiara asked.

“yep, i think you’ll like him. he’s-”

“SANS!!!”

“he’s coming right now.” A skeleton twice Sans’s height wearing a short white shirt with big shoulders, blue hotpants, orange boots, orange gloves, and a short orange cape tied bandana-style around its neck came running down the path ahead and stopped a few feet short of Sans. “sup, bro?” Sans asked.

“YOU KNOW WHAT’S ‘SUP,’ BROTHER!” The taller skeleton’s bone-rattle voice seemed to be set permanently to “loud exuberance.” “IT’S BEEN EIGHT DAYS AND YOU STILL HAVEN’T RECALIBRATED. YOUR. PUZZLES! YOU JUST STAND AROUND OUTSIDE YOUR STATION. WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING?”

“making a new friend,” Sans replied casually.

“WHAT?” the taller skeleton asked.

“right back there,” Sans said, pointing over his shoulder with a thumb at Diamond Tiara. “want to meet her?”

“I…” the other skeleton hesitated and glanced aside. “NO, I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THAT!! WHAT IF A HUMAN COMES THROUGH HERE?!”

~~“bro, is something wrong?”~~ Sans looked taken aback, but didn’t say anything as his brother continued his tirade. “I MUST BE READY!!! I WILL BE THE ONE! I MUST BE THE ONE!!! I WILL CAPTURE A HUMAN! THEN I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS WILL GET ALL THE THINGS I UTTERLY DESERVE!”

“if you say so,” Sans cut in, “but there won’t be any humans today, papyrus.”

“WHAT MAKES YOU SO SURE, SANS?!” Papyrus asked, glaring.

Sans pointed to Diamond Tiara again. “well, the little pony there just came out of the ruins, and she didn’t see any humans.”

“OH,” Papyrus looked disappointed. He then crossed his arms and turned his head to the side aloofly. “VERY WELL THEN, I GUESS THE GREAT PAPYRUS HAS A LITTLE TIME TO SPARE TO… MAKE A FRIEND?”

Diamond Tiara heard a tone of wistfulness enter Papyrus’s loud voice in his last few words. As she examined the tall skeleton’s behavior more, she recognized something familiar about it that she couldn’t quite put her hoof on. That feeling was enough to dampen the last of her nervousness about Sans, so she put her stick down and approached the skeleton brothers. “Hello,” she said, but before she could get another word out, Papyrus burst forth with more enthusiastic yelling.

“GREETINGS, PONY! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, UNDERSTAND YOU WISH TO BE ONE OF MY FRIENDS. IT’S OBVIOUS WHY, SINCE I AM SO GREAT AND POSSESS MANY ADMIRABLE TRAITS. HOWEVER, I AM A SKELETON OF STANDARDS, AND I MUST MAKE SURE YOU CAN MEET THEM!!” He seemed about to continued, but then hesitated and looked at Sans. “SANS,” he said in what for him probably constituted a whisper, “UH, COULD YOU GIVE ME A HAND?”

“sure thing,” Sans said, and then started to applaud. Papyrus’s eye-sockets actually narrowed in annoyance.

“CUT THAT OUT!” he snapped. “I SWEAR, YOU NEVER TAKE ANYTHING SERIOUSLY!!”

“sorry,” Sans said with an exaggerated shrug, “but you know i can’t pass up chance to be a little… humerus.”

“UGH!” Papyrus face-palmed. “NEVER MIND; I’LL JUST… WAIT! I JUST HAD AN IDEA!! NYEH HEH HEH!!” He spun around and dashed away in a flurry of kicked-up snow.

Sans and Diamond Tiara stared at the retreating figure for a couple minutes. “well, that’s papyrus,” Sans said at last. “what do you think?”

Diamond Tiara smirked. “He acts like he doesn’t have a single calm bone in his body,” she said.

Sans gave her a sideways look. “bone humor? heh. not bad for a first try. anyway, we should probably head into town now. just keep going straight ahead; it’s hard to get lost.” He started to walk away back toward the Ruins, but stopped where the Filly had dropped the stick and picked it up. “hey, you should probably take this with you. there are more sentries on the road up ahead. they’re good guys, but they can be a bit… excitable. keeping a stick on hand will be good if you can’t get by any other way.”

“How’s a stick going to help?” Diamond Tiara asked.

“do you have dogs where you come from?” Sans asked. Diamond Tiara nodded. Sans tossed the stick to her and said, “then you already know the answer. see you up ahead.” He walked across the short bridge and disappeared into the thick trees. Diamond Tiara wrangled the stick into her bag and set off in the direction Papyrus had gone.

The tall black trees quickly gave way to shorter, friendly-looking pines covered in snow, and the path forked. The left path just led to a river where someone had left a fishing pole stuck in the ground with its line cast into the water, so Diamond Tiara took the right path. Up ahead she saw Papyrus and, to her surprise, Sans having a conversation. The skeletons stopped what they were saying as the Filly approached, and Papyrus rested one hand on his hip in a jaunty manner. “PONY!!” he declared, “LISTEN WELL! IF YOU WISH TO BE MY FRIEND, I HAVE A TASK FOR YOU. UP AHEAD ARE SEVERAL PUZZLES PUT TOGETHER BY MY BROTHER AND I TO CHALLENGE AND CAPTURE HUMANS!! TAKE ON A FEW OF THESE PUZZLES AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK OF THEM, AND THEN I WILL CONSIDER BEING YOUR… FRIEND!!” The skeleton’s bone-rattle voice somehow gained a gleeful squeak on the last word, and Diamond Tiara thought she saw sparkles forming inside Papyrus’s eye sockets before he caught himself and regained his dramatic aloofness. “MAYBE,” he added. The Filly smirked as she realized what lay below the skeleton’s projected persona.

“Ok,” she said affably. “Sounds like fun.”

“NYEH HEH HEH!” Papyrus laughed. “GREAT! LET’S GET STARTED THEN! SANS!! COME HELP ME SET UP!” He dashed away in another flurry of snow, but Sans stayed put, leaning against a tree with his hands in his pockets.

“thanks for playing along,” the short skeleton said to Diamond Tiara. “he seems like he’s enjoying himself, even though you’re not a human.”

“What’s the big deal with these human things anyway?” Diamond Tiara asked. “and what the hay is a human in the first place?”

Sans gave the Filly a sideways look. “let’s just say for now that capturing a human is papyrus’s ticket into the royal guard. as to what a human is,” he spread his arms wide and winked, “imagine me with skin and muscle, and not made of magic.”

“SANS!” Papyrus’s voice echoed from up ahead, “STOP BOONDOGGLING AND GET YOUR LAZY BONES OVER HERE!”

Sans chuckled. “well,” he said, “you heard him. after you, kiddo.” He remained leaning against the tree as Diamond Tiara set off down the path again, but the Filly suspected she’d find him up ahead of her again, eventually.

A little ways ahead, Diamond Tiara saw a tiny roofed stand tucked into a gap in the trees to the side of the road. Just before the stand was a sign that read “Absolutely no moving!” The Filly was puzzled about the sign until she stepped in front of the stand and a black-and-white dog-like monster with shifty eyes, wearing an absurdly pink shirt and polka-dot pants, a bone-shaped dog treat in its mouth, and holding a pair of short swords in its front paws popped up from behind the counter, and Diamond Tiara quickly decided to take the sign’s advice.

“Did something move?” the dog asked. “I can only see moving things. If something was moving…” It hopped over the counter, looking around wildly. “Like, for example, a human…” Diamond Tiara’s heart started to pump hard and her vision blurred as the dog approached, swords raised threateningly. “I’ll make sure it never moves again!” It swung one of its swords in a slow, questing arc, and Diamond Tiara fought the urge to flinch as the blade passed within a hair of her muzzle. “Hm…” the dog said, looking around. “Nothing?”

What do I do? Diamond Tiara thought. I could try to throw the stick, but if he sees me moving he’ll probably slice me up before realizing I’m a pony. Maybe I’ll just wait until he gets bored. She stood perfectly still, barely daring to breathe, as the dog poked around with his swords some more. The blades occasionally came dangerously close to her, but due to what Diamond Tiara could only call luck they never touched her. Eventually, the dog turned his back on her, scratching his head, and the Filly made her move. She pulled the stick out of her bag and threw it as hard as she could over the dog’s shoulder.

“Stick?!” the dog exclaimed and ran after it. The stick hit a pine tree and started to tumble toward the ground, but the dog managed to catch it in his mouth and then came trotting back toward Diamond Tiara, who froze in place the moment the dog turned back around. The dog dropped the stick and started looking around again. “Who threw the stick?” he asked, “Where’d it come from?” He looked down, realized he couldn’t see the now immobile stick on the ground, and whined, “And where’d it go? What a strange day…”

Diamond Tiara felt a twinge of sympathy for the dog. He’s just doing his job, she chided herself, and here I am messing with his head. As the dog knelt down and started feeling around for the stick, Diamond Tiara reached out a hoof and stroked his head.

“Wan!” The dog leaped two feet into the air, dropped his swords, and started dancing in place in agitation. “I’ve been pet!” he exclaimed, “P-pet by something that isn’t moving! T-t-this is too much; I need another dog treat.” He ran off down the path, abandoning his swords and barking his head off in confusion. Gold coins fell out of his pockets as he ran, and the Filly’s vision returned to normal.

“Whew,” she sighed in relief. The Filly picked up the coins and her stick and put them in her bag. Continuing down the path, Diamond Tiara came to a spot where the trees spread out briefly around a frozen pond. Sans was lounging near a tree, and as Diamond Tiara approached his skeletal grin seemed to widen and he gave her one his odd, skull-bending winks.

“looks like doggo didn’t give you much trouble,” Sans said.

“I think I scared him out of his wits,” Diamond Tiara said.

“nah, he’s just jumpy,” Sans said. “he’ll calm down by the time he gets to snowdin.”

“I should probably apologize anyway, if I ever see him again,” Diamond Tiara said. “What are you doing here, anyway? I thought you were helping your brother.”

“yeah,” Sans said, nonchalant, “the first puzzle’s just up ahead. careful on the ice.” Diamond Tiara nodded and, skirting the edge of the pond, continued down the path.

The trees came to an end at the edge of a cleared area of ground that terminated in sheer cliffs on three sides. Papyrus stood at the end of a short bridge connecting the path to a large plateau, and he held up a warding hand as the Filly reached the edge of the cleared space. Daimond Tiara stopped and waited. After a few moments, Sans came moseying up the path and leaned against one of the trees at the very edge of the clearing.

“SO NICE OF YOU TO FINALLY SHOW UP, BROTHER,” Papyrus said sarcastically. Sans just gave him a thumbs-up. “ANYWAY…” Papyrus stood up straighter and grinned at Diamond Tiara. “PONY!! BEHOLD MY FIRST PUZZLE: THE INVISIBLE ELECTRO-MAZE!! TRY AND NAVIGATE IT, BUT IF YOU TOUCH THE WALLS…” He held out a small orb, “THIS ORB WILL DELIVER AN ELECTRIC SHOCK!! NYEH HEH HEH!!”

“Um…” Diamond Tiara hesitated.

“just go for it, kid,” Sans said, giving the Filly a reassuring pat on the back. “it won’t hurt a bit. i promise.” Diamond Tiara looked at him askance, but then he winked and her doubts faded. With slow, cautious steps, the Filly began to cross the clearing, reaching a hoof out every other step to feel for walls. So intent was she on feeling out the maze that she didn’t realize she’d crossed the whole clearing until her nose bumped into Papyrus’s thigh bone. She looked up and saw that the tall skeleton was frowning.

“THAT CAN’T BE RIGHT,” Papyrus said, “I KNOW I PUT AT LEAST THREE TURNS IN THE MAZE...” He stepped out into the clearing and jumped around waving his arms around wildly for a bit. “WELL THAT’S STRANGE,” he said, rubbing his chin, “THE MAZE DIDN’T COME UP. GO BACK TO THE START PLEASE, PONY; LET’S TRY THIS AGAIN.” Diamond Tiara obliged and Papyrus went back to standing by the bridge. “AHEM,” Papyrus said, waving a hand, “INVISIBLE ELECTRO-MAZE!” He waited for a few seconds while nothing seemed to happen, then crossed his arms and said, “UH, TRY IT NOW.” Diamond Tiara stepped into the clearing and slowly made her way straight across again. “OH MY GOD, IT WAS WORKING A MINUTE AGO!!” Papyrus exclaimed. He ran out into the clearing again, and Sans ran out to join him. The two searched around for a moment, and then Papyrus threw his hands up and exclaimed, “FORGET IT! I’VE GOT OTHER PUZZLES TO SEE TO!” He charged across the bridge and out of sight.

Diamond Tiara looked at Sans, but the short skeleton just waved her on. “i’m going to work at this a little longer,” he said. “puzzles don’t just stop working out of the blue.” Diamond Tiara nodded and trotted off across the bridge.

~~Finally alone, Sans knelt down and scraped a bit of snow away from the south edge of the clearing, uncovering a thorny green vine that bulged out of the dirt. “that damn flower. what’s its game this time?”~~ Sans looked around, saw no obvious clues, and walked away from the clearing.

* don’t think i didn’t notice that.

When Sans reached the next plateau, he saw Diamond Tiara speaking with the Nice Cream salesman. The Filly had bought one of the compliment-wrapped treats, and was now dispensing some commentary. “What gave you the dumb idea to try and sell cold ice cream during cold winter weather?” she asked.

“Um,” the salesman said, ears drooping, “it’s fitting to eat cold stuff when it’s cold out?”

Diamond Tiara face-hoofed. “No, no, that just makes you colder! When it’s cold, ponies… or monsters – whatever! They want to warm up. Now, if it were hot out, then you’d have customers looking for something cold to eat so they don’t feel so hot.”

“Oh, really?” the Nice Cream guy said, perking back up. “That does make sense. Perhaps I should head toward Hotland then?”

Diamond Tiara blinked. “Hot…land?” She glanced aside and caught a glimpse of Sans out of the corner of her eye, giving her a thumbs-up. “Yeah, sure,” she said to the salesman, “you do that.” She walked over to Sans and in a low voice asked, “Hotland?!”

“yep,” Sans said, “it’s just past the marshes of Waterfall and before you reach our capital, New Home.” He shrugged at the Filly’s bemused look. “what can i say? the king is rather bad at coming up with names.”

“Is there an ‘old’ Home?” Diamond Tiara asked.

“you passed through it on your way out of the ruins,” Sans replied.

“Ah.” The Filly and the skeleton moved on across the plateau, turning south to follow alongside a snowball mini-golf course that had been built over most of the plateau. About halfway along, a nearby bush shook and Diamond Tiara stopped short as she felt the familiar sensations of a potential monster fight. A white dog in full plate armor and wielding a stone sword leaped out of the bush and landed in front of her, panting excitedly. Diamond Tiara looked around for Sans, but the skeleton was still walking along the minigolf course without a care. The Filly looked back at the dog and hesitantly raised a hoof toward it, saying, “Uh, good doggy?” The dog woofed and leaned its head into Diamond Tiara’s hoof. The Filly pet the dog a few times and its tail started wagging fast enough to produce a faint sound. “Oh, you like that, do you?” Diamond Tiara said, continuing to pet. “Well, if you stick by me I’ll-” The dog’s eyes suddenly sparkled and it broke away, running off in a flurry of snow and leaving a trail of gold coins behind. “Or you can just drop all your bits for me to pick up,” the Filly sighed. She followed the trail, collecting the gold, until she reached a narrow natural bridge leading to another plateau, where Sans was waiting for her.

“you’re making out like a bandit,” Sans commented as Diamond Tiara scooped the last of the dog’s gold into her bag.

“How many more dog-sentries are there?” the Filly asked, “and are they all going to be so easy to get by?”

“three more,” Sans said, holding up three fingers, “although dogamy and dogaressa are an inseparable unit, and yes, so long as you keep using your head. or the stick.” They continued on until they came upon Papyrus again. The tall skeleton was making a valiant attempt to pick up a plate of spaghetti from a table, but the plate and pasta appeared to have fused to the table. “hey, bro,” Sans said.

“AH!” Papyrus looked startled. “OH, IT’S JUST YOU TWO. AHEM.” He struck a gallant pose. “I NOTICED THE SPAGHETTI I SET OUT AS A HUMAN TRAP HAS GOTTEN COLD, SO I WAS GOING TO WARM IT UP AND OFFER IT TO THE PONY, BUT…” He kicked the table, breaking one of the legs. The table fell over, but the plate of spaghetti remained in its spot. “WELL, YOU CAN SEE,” Papyrus said dejectedly.

“How is spaghetti supposed to be a trap?” Diamond Tiara asked.

Papyrus perked up instantly. “AH-HA!” he declared, “YOU SEE, LITTLE PONY, I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, MADE THIS DELICIOUS SPAGHETTI TO ENTICE HUMANS INTO STOPPING TO EAT IT… AND STOP MAKING ANY PROGRESS!! NYEH HEH HEH HEH!”

Diamond Tiara quirked an eyebrow and went over to investigate the spaghetti. Besides being ice-cold and stuck to the plate, the noodles appeared to be simultaneously undercooked and burned and the sauce was little more than crushed vegetables frozen in their own juice. “Yes,” she drawled, “very enticing.”

“YOU THINK SO?” Papyrus exclaimed. “YES!” He pumped a fist in the air, and then remembered himself. “OH, I NEED TO DOUBLE-CHECK THE NEXT PUZZLE!” He ran on in his usual manner, laughing.

“Does he not get sarcasm?” Diamond Tiara asked Sans.

“most of the time,” Sans replied. “he’s just too hyped to notice right now.”

The next plateau was broken up such that the southeast corner was several feet below the northeast corner and the western side sloped downward. The path continued in the southeast, but that corner was blocked by spikes. Sans found a tree to lean against and, despite Diamond Tiara’s asking and then giving him the evil eye, left the Filly to figure out the puzzle on her own. Sans felt like taking a quick nap, but as he watched Diamond Tiara run about, troubling thoughts intruded on his mind. So far, aside from Doggo and Lesser Dog, she hasn’t run across any monsters. Snowdrake and the Ice Caps are always getting up in your face, but I haven’t even caught a glimpse of them. And Papyrus checks his puzzles every morning; there’s no way the invisible maze just stopped working without warning. Is something easing this pony’s path for her?

And why am I even watching a little pink pony instead of a human in the first place?

What the hell happened to Frisk?Gee, I wonder if a pony’s soul compares to a human’s…

“Hey Sans!” Diamond Tiara’s voice broke into the skeleton’s thoughts and he looked over to see her standing by the now-receded spikes. “I solved the puzzle, so let’s go.”

“don’t worry about me; i’ll catch up,” Sans called, waving the Filly on. He watched her cross to the southeastern corner of the plateau and nodded as, on cue, the Dogi appeared to block her path. At least some things are still on script, Sans thought.

The two cloaked, axe-wielding dogs circled Diamond Tiara, sniffing, and then looked at each other over her head. “Strange smell,” Dogamy, the dog with a mustache, declared.

“Excuse me?” Diamond Tiara exclaimed, miffed.

“Shaped wrong for a human, though,” Dogaressa, the dog with long eyelashes, said.

“That’s because I’m a pony!” Diamond Tiara snapped.

“Pony?” The Dogi exchanged another confused look.

“Yes!” the Filly said. “P-O-N-Y. An earth pony to be precise, and…” she trailed off into a frustrated growl as the dog’s eyes glazed over. She glanced over at Sans and saw the skeleton giving her what she assumed was an amused grin. “Fine,” she said, reaching into her bag, “you know what? Go fetch!” She pulled out her stick and threw it in Sans’s direction. It landed at Sans’s feet, but he looked unconcerned as the two cloaked dogs bounded after the stick with little semblance of control. He stepped aside just as Dogamy lost his footing on a patch of ice and somersaulted into the tree, spraying gold coins everywhere, and then again as Dogaressa slid to a stop next to her mate. Dogaressa helped Dogamy to his feet, then the two sheathed their axes and carried the stick back to Diamond Tiara together.

“That was fun,” Dogamy declared. Diamond Tiara gave him a strange look. “Again?”

“Sorry, but I’m really too busy to play,” the Filly said.

The Dogi exchanged a look, shrugged, and dropped the stick. “Ok,” Dogaressa said, “thanks anyway.” They left the way they’d come. Diamond Tiara shook her head at them until Sans came and handed her the dropped gold.

“Whoever made the clothes for all these dogs is really bad at pockets,” Diamond Tiara noted.

“nope,” Sans said, “we just all drop some of our gold when someone beats us in a fight, violently or trickily.”

“How much farther to the town?” the Filly asked.

“just a couple more plateaus,” Sans said, “and a few more of papyrus’s puzzles.”

“Joy,” Diamond Tiara said dryly.

Heading south, Sans and the Filly quickly came to a sharp turn in the path toward the east. Just around the corner, they saw Papyrus hopping madly on and off a large button while the two Dogi were alternating stepping on and sniffing at a pair of large blue Xs painted on the ground in the midst of a formation of ice boulders. A wall of spikes blocked the path onward. “TRY IT AGAIN!” Papyrus cried after stomping the button down one last time.

“They’re still not changing,” Dogamy said with a sigh.

“Not even making the click sounds,” Dogaressa concurred.

“GREAT,” Papyrus grumped, folding his arms.

“problem, bro?” Sans asked casually.

Papyrus looked over, jawbone swinging open with a snarky reply, but then he saw Diamond Tiara and just threw his arms in the air and declared, “I GIVE UP!!” He fell backward into the snow and stared up at the cave ceiling with a forlorn expression. “THIS IS IT,” he said, “MY PUZZLES AND TRAPS DON’T WORK, MY SPAGHETTI IS COLD… THE GREAT PAPYRUS IS NO MORE.”

“bro…” Sans started to say, but Papyrus threw up a hand to cut him off.

“DON’T MAKE LIGHT OF THIS SANS! I ALREADY LOOK LIKE ENOUGH OF A FOOL IN FRONT OF THE LITTLE PONY.” He turned his head to look at Diamond Tiara, tears leaking from his eye sockets. “I’M SORRY, PONY,” he said, “I TRIED, BUT… I GUESS YOU WOULDN’T WANT SOMEONE AS PATHETIC AS ME AS A FRIEND.”

Diamond Tiara rolled her eyes. “First Toriel, now this,” she said, strutting over to the tall skeleton. “Get up, Papyrus,” she commanded. “The only thing pathetic about you is how you’re acting right this minute. Come on, on your feet!” Papyrus sat up and wiped away his tears. “Good enough,” the Filly declared. “Papyrus, you remind me a lot of some fillies I know back home. They had a dream of achieving something big, and they put their whole hearts into trying to reach that goal. It wasn’t easy, and they probably failed more times than I’m even aware of, but that didn’t stop them. I see that same sort of determination in you, Papyrus. You want to join the Royal Guard, right?”

“YES,” Papyrus said, “BUT-”

“No buts,” Diamond Tiara said. “So your puzzles are broken today, so what? Look on the bright side: at least they didn’t fail while a Human was around. And from what I’ve seen, you’ve at least got some good ideas behind the puzzles. I think you have it in you to be one of the best Royal Guards this underground has ever seen.”

Papyrus looked like he was about to cry again. “YOU… REALLY THINK SO, PONY?”

“Yes,” the Filly said with a nod, “and I’d be glad to be your friends as well, but first you have to pick yourself back up and never give up on your dream.”

“I…” Confidence returned to Papyrus’s face and he surged to his feet in a triumphant, cape-billowing pose. “YES!” he shouted, “I WILL NEVER GIVE UP! I WILL BE THE GREAT PAPYRUS, MEMBER OF THE ROYAL GUARD! UNPARRALELLED SPAGHETTORE! I WILL BE RESPECTED! THE KING WILL CARVE A BUSH IN THE SHAPE OF MY FACE!!” He grabbed Diamond Tiara up in a hug, then caught himself and put herself and tried to regain his cocky demeanor while ignoring Dogamy’s chuckling. “AHEM. THANK YOU PONY, FOR YOUR FRIENDSHIP.”

“You’re welcome,” Diamond Tiara said. “Although,” she added in a flat tone, “if we are to be friends, you have to stop calling me ‘Pony.’ My name is Diamond Tiara.”

“THAT’S A BIT OF A MOUTHFUL,” Papyrus noted, rubbing his chin, “BUT IF YOU INSIST. I CAN’T SAY NO TO A FRIEND.”

“this is great and all,” Sans cut in, “but we still have a broken puzzle blocking our way.”

“RIGHT!” Papyrus said, whirling around until he faced the spike wall. “WAIT HERE; I’LL SEE IF THE HIDDEN RESET SWITCH IS WORKING.” He sprinted toward the spikes and leaped over them in a single, high bound. A few moments later, the spikes retracted into the ground and Papyrus reappeared, striking a heroic pose. “NYEH HEH HEH HEH! THE PATH IS CLEAR, THNAKS TO THE GREAT-”

“Thank you, Papyrus,” the Dogi said as they ran past him. Papyrus watched them go with arms akimbo and an annoyed look on his face.

“HOW RUDE!” the skeleton yelled after the two dogs. “I’LL BE REPORTING THIS TO UNDYNE, YOU KNOW!” He huffed and then glanced back. “WELL P- UH, DIAMOND TIARA, SHALL WE GET GOING?”

“Yes, please,” the Filly answered.

Diamond Tiara and the skeleton brothers traveled together the rest of the fairly short way to the entrance of Snowdin town without serious incident. Papyrus explained the remaining puzzles on the route, all of which were either inoperable or already solved by the Dogi, who were sniffing around for clues to the mystery puzzle saboteur. Diamond Tiara was momentarily frightened when the Greater Dog emerged from a snow pouf just outside the town, but the hulking canine simply looked at Sans and Papyrus, gave them a nod and a friendly bark, and stepped aside.

“yeah,” Sans explained, “he’s just a big softie. actually, more of a little softie in huge armor.”

Snowdin had a small-town, welcoming feel to Diamond Tiara, once she got over her surprise that most of the population was bears and giant rabbits all walking on two legs and wearing clothes. Papyrus took the Filly on a whirlwind tour of the town’s main street, pointing out the general store and inn, Grillby’s restaurant, the library, and finally the skeleton brothers’ own house. Sans hung back by the town’s welcoming sign, deep in his own thoughts, until Papyrus and the Filly came trotting back.

“YOU LOOK GLOOMY ALL OF A SUDDEN SANS,” Papyrus said, bringing the shorter skeleton back to reality.

“huh?” Sans looked up, and then at Diamond Tiara. “oh, right, i guess you’ll want to talk about what comes next, huh? let’s go to grillby’s; i’ll treat you to lunch while we talk.”

How We Got Here

It’s hard to move past a history of mistreating one’s peers and a reputation as a spoiled brat, but Diamond Tiara was determined to do it. Financing the new playground for Ponyille’s schoolhouse had only been the first step. The Filly’s new quest was to make a personal apology to every pony she had ever insulted, mocked, or bullied. It was a long list, but ponies were generally quick to forgive, and especially so after the Cutie Mark Crusaders set the precedent. It took several days just to get through all the colts and fillies at school, and there were still around two dozen adult ponies after that which Diamond Tiara felt obliged to apologize to.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders continued to be helpful in tracking down the ponies Diamond Tiara sought. Apple Bloom, Sweetie Bell, and Scootaloo had tried so many different things in their quest to earn their cutie marks that they knew the routines of almost everyone in Ponyille better than anypony except Pinkie Pie. Apple Bloom was accompanying Diamond Tiara on the day she hit her first significant speedbump. Diamond Tiara had just escaped from the long-winded friendship lecture her apology to Princess Twilight Sparkle had mutated into and gave Apple Bloom a weary nod.

Apple Bloom chuckled as she scratched Twilight’s name off Diamond Tiara’s list. “You musta caught her in a particularly good mood, judgin’ by how long that took ya,” AB said.

“She wanted to make absolutely sure I understood how proud she was that I’m undertaking this project,” Diamond Tiara responded, “especially since nopony’s making me do it. As if I didn’t already know about the importance of forgiveness in making new friends and repairing old friendships.” She stuck out her tongue in mock disgust and then shared a laugh with Apple Bloom. “Anyway,” Diamond Tiara went on, checking the position of the sun, “I think there’s enough time to scratch off one last name today. Who’s next?”

Apple Bloom’s eyes slid down the list, and her eyebrows went up. “Zecora?” she said in surprise before leveling a glower at Diamond Tiara. “What they hay did you ever do ta Zecora?”

Diamond Tiara started to answer, but stopped in confusion before she got the first word out. “I don’t remember exactly,” she said, “but if her name’s on the list, I must have done something nasty. Spreading rumors about her, most likely.”

“You and every other pony in Ponyille, before Twilight came to town,” Apple Bloom said in a dismissive manner. “That’s real old news, DT, and Zecora doesn’t hold a grudge against anypony for it.”

“I must have put her name on the list for a reason,” Diamond Tiara said. “Maybe she’ll remember if I ask her about it.” She started to walk in the direction of the Everfree Forest, but Apple Bloom pulled her back and turned her around.

“Nuh-uh,” the yellow filly said, “There’s no way I’m letting you try to walk to her hut; it’s too far to get there and back before dark, and trust me: that forest is dangerous enough in the daylight!” Diamond Tiara got a petulant look on her face, but Apple Bloom pressed on before the Filly could go off. “Zecora’s due ta come into town in a couple days anyway. Ya can talk to her then, ok?”

Diamond Tiara blinked, and then her eyes went wide. “You’re right,” she said. “I don’t know why I was even thinking of going into those nasty woods.”

“Least ya came back to your senses,” Apple Bloom said with a smile. Holding out the list, she asked, “Wanna move on to the next pony then?”

Diamond Tiara shook her head. “I don’t feel like it anymore,” she said. “I think I’ll just go home and try to remember why I need to apologize to Zecora.” Apple Bloom nodded, rolled the list up and passed it to the Filly, and the two parted ways.

As Diamond Tiara walked through the streets of Ponyville, she couldn’t get her mind off of Zecora’s presence on her apology list. The Filly wracked her memory, but she could barely recall how many times she’d actually interacted with the zebra mystic, let alone any particularly nasty incidents that had been aimed at her. “Ugh,” she mumbled after a while, “I don’t even remember writing her name down in the first place.”

A rabbit hopped across Diamond Tiara’s path, causing her to stop and realize that she’d somehow wandered to the edge of town nearest the Everfree Forest. “I need to stop thinking about this,” she said to herself as she turned around to head home.

But only Zecora can answer my question. Twilight and Apple Bloom both go visit her like it’s nothing, so she can’t live that deep into the woods.

Diamond Tiara hesitated only for a moment, and then turned back around and ran into the Everfree Forest.

“I came back to my senses eventually,” Diamond Tiara said, toying with one of the French fries on her plate, “but I was completely lost by then, and it was getting dark. I stumbled around looking for the path for a while, and then tripped over a root and fell into a deep hole. The fall must have knocked me out, because the next thing I knew I was in the Ruins and the sun was shining down on me from the hole.” She looked over at Sans, sitting next to her at the counter of Grillby’s restaurant. The skeleton was staring off into space, apparently ignoring both the Filly and his own plate of fries, so Diamond Tiara cuffed him on the shoulder. “Hey! Are you listening?”

“uh huh,” Sans said, “it’s a real interesting story. what happened next?”

“Well,” Diamond Tiara said, “right after I got up I met this crazy flower monster that tried to kill me. Then the old lady who guards the ruins showed up and chased the flower off, or so I thought. As the lady was introducing herself to me, the flower came back, wrapped her up, and tried to use her to kill me again. I-”

Slam

Diamond Tiara jumped as Sans’s fist pounded the countertop and his skull jerked around to stare at her intently. His eyes were glowing blue. “Flowey attacked Toriel?” Sans exclaimed. “He’s never… uh…” He hesitated and looked around to see that his outburst had drawn the attention of all the other restaurant patrons. “sorry, everyone,” he said, and then turned back to Diamond Tiara, the glow in his eyes fading as he asked in a low tone, “what happened to toriel?”

“She’s fine,” Diamond Tiara said reassuringly. “I managed to pull Flowey off of her before he made her hurt me too bad.” Sans’s shoulders relaxed in relief. “Do… do you know Toriel?” the Filly asked.

“yes,” Sans replied, staring down at his fries with faintly glowing eyes, “flowey too, but i know them both far better than i ought to at this point in time.”

“What?”

Sans got off his stool and turned toward the door. “we should continue this somewhere more private. you know where my house is?” Diamond Tiara nodded. “meet me there,” Sans said. He took a couple steps, but stopped when Grillby rapped a glass on the counter. “put it on my tab,” Sans said simply, and then walked out the door. As soon as the door closed, the silence that had fallen over the other patrons broke as they began gossiping with one another. Diamond Tiara caught snatches of the conversation among the dog sentries as she got off her own stool and headed for the exit.

“It’s not like him.”

“Yeah, he didn’t even joke about having her pay for the meal.”

“No ketchup prank either.”

“Wasn’t Toriel the…”

Diamond Tiara exited the restaurant and trotted down the snow-packed road to the skeleton brothers’s two-story, holiday light-festooned house. Inside, she saw Papyrus in the kitchen flailing at a pot of dry spaghetti with such enthusiasm that he didn’t seem to notice her entrance. Sans was seated on the couch. As Diamond Tiara hopped up to join him, the cushions jangled with lost change. Sans leaned back and stared up at the ceiling for a moment, and then spoke. “let me tell you a little history of the underground.”

“Long ago, Humans and Monsters lived together on the surface. One day, however, war broke out between the two races, and the monsters lost. They were driven to Mt. Ebott and then down into these caverns. The humans sealed the monsters in with a magic spell. We started out in what are now called the Ruins, but when things became too crowded we explored deeper into the caverns. Groups broke off to settle here in Snowdin, Waterfall, and around Hotland, but most of the monsters followed our king all the way to the end, where they found an exit to the surface blocked by the seal. We built the capital there and tried to settle into our new life. The King and Queen tried to keep us from losing hope, but it was a hard struggle.

“Then a child came to Mt. Ebott and fell down into the Underground, and everything changed.”

Papyrus came out of the kitchen as Sans paused in his tale. “OH, IS IT STORYTIME ALREADY?” Papyrus said. “JUST A MOMENT.” He ran back into the kitchen then came out with a bowl of spaghetti and sat down on the other side of Diamond Tiara. “GO AHEAD, SANS.”

“sure thing,” Sans said with a grin.

“Frisk held the fate of the whole Underground in their hands. They traveled from the Ruins to the king’s throne itself, making friends with every monster they encountered despite the hardships they were put through, and in the end found a way to destroy the barrier and free us all.

“Except, sometimes they let fear, ignorance, or frustration guide their hand to kill some of the monsters who blocked their path, and simply passed through the barrier alone after ending the king’s plan to free us.

“Sometimes Frisk just gave up at some point along the path.

“And, at least once, they carved a bloody path through the underground, systematically hunting down and killing every monster they could find. I finally had to step in and cut them down myself, but not before the underground was mostly depopulated.”

“W-what…” Diamond Tiara stammered, horrified. Papyrus was staring his brother with a similar expression.

“YOU… YOU’RE MAKING THIS UP, RIGHT SANS? BECAUSE I DON’T REMEMBER ANY OF THIS.”

“that’s because none of that has happened,” Sans said, “this time.”

“OH,” Papyrus said with sudden epiphany, “THIS IS MORE OF THAT TIME AND SPACE STUFF YOU LIKE MESSING WITH. I NEVER UNDERSTAND THAT, SO…” He stood up and went upstairs.

“Time and space?” Diamond Tiara asked. “Are you a time traveler, Sans?”

“sort of,” Sans demurred. “i know there are… have been other timelines, but i mostly just go along for the ride. it all centers around frisk, you see. they, or some power that’s attached to them, has the power to SAVE and go back in time to fix mistakes or make different decisions. only a few people are ever aware on a conscious level that a reset has taken place, and i’m one of them. flowey is another.” Sans sighed and looked up at the ceiling again, longingly. “the last loop i can remember ended the best way possible: the barrier was destroyed and everyone lived happily ever after. i thought that was the end of it, that since everyone was making new, great lives on the surface among the humans, there was no reason for frisk to reset time.

“but then something went terribly wrong.” Sans looked at Diamond Tiara with glowing eyes. “i woke up back here in snowdin, with everything back to the way it was before frisk came through. i could have lived with that, but that wasn’t the worst part. things are different. i remember the last loop too clearly, including events i wasn’t even present for. and toriel… before the kid arrives, i’m supposed to strike up a friendship with tori by trading bad knock-knock jokes through the ruins door, and then she has me promise not to harm any humans who come out of that door. this time, however, her jokes weren’t… quite right. too grim and not corny enough. then, instead of the usual promise, she repeated my standing orders to kill any human i find.”

“That wasn’t Toriel!” Diamond Tiara exclaimed. “She told me she’s seen Flowey at the Ruins door, mimicking her voice to talk to… you I guess. Toriel even warned me to be extra careful because she heard Flowey telling you to kill anything that left the Ruins.”

“interesting,” Sans murmured. “well, i guess that leaves only one, very big puzzle.”

“Me,” the Filly said. “I’m not part of your story, so why am I here? How did I even get here in the first place? I fell into a hole in a forest, but you said the entrance is on a mountain, right?” Sans nodded. “So how does that work?” Diamond Tiara wondered, “Will the exit lead back to Equestria, or the surface world you’re expecting?”

Sans gave her a thumbs-up. “you’re a sharp one, diamond tiara,” he said, “no bones about it. the only way to solve that mystery is to get to the barrier and see what lies on the other side. to be honest, i hope it leads out to the earth it’s supposed to, and that frisk is out there somewhere waiting to be found.”

“Well, I’d prefer to be able to go home, thank you!” Diamond Tiara said, giving the skeleton a sideways look.

Sans just shrugged and said, “what will be will be.”

“S-SANS!” Papyrus came running down the stairs in a state resembling panic. ~~“SANS, COME QUICK! THAT FLOWER I TOLD YOU ABOUT IS IN MY ROOM RIGHT NOW!”~~ Upon reaching the bottom of the stairs, however, he suddenly calmed and scratched his skull in confusion. “I… JUST FORGOT WHAT I WANTED TO TELL YOU.”

“your timing’s perfect though,” Sans said, getting up off the couch. “have you reported to undyne yet today?”

“NO,” Papyrus said, “I DON’T EXACTLY HAVE ANYTHING WORTH REPORTING. WAIT, SINCE WHEN DO YOU CARE IF I’M DOING MY JOB? YOU BARELY CARE ABOUT YOUR OWN JOB! ER, JOBS!!!”

Sans ignored the criticism and gave his brother a dead-serious look. “a stranger that’s neither a human or a monster has shown up in the underground and you don’t think undyne would want to know about it?” he asked.

Papyrus started to sweat – which surprised Diamond Tiara less than she expected – and stammered, “UH, R-RIGHT, I GUESS SHE WOULD.”

Sans nodded in satisfaction. “ok,” he said. “do a me favor and tell her that diamond tiara needs to meet with the king.”

Papyrus grinned. “OF COURSE!” he exclaimed, “I WAS GOING TO RECOMMEND THE PONY GO MEET THE KING AS WELL! …EVENTUALLY.”

“Can I ask why?” Diamond Tiara cut in.

Papyrus gave the Filly a pat on the head. “THE KING GUARDS THE BARRIER,” he said, “SO YOU’LL HAVE TO PASS THROUGH HIS THRONE ROOM TO LEAVE ANYWAY. DON’T WORRY THOUGH; THE KING IS A BIG FURRY PUSHOVER. I’M SURE IF YOU ASK NICELY, HE’LL HELP YOU FIND A WAY TO GO BACK HOME. YOU DON’T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT GETTING THERE EITHER IF UNDYNE GOES WITH YOU. SHE’S NOT ONLY THE CAPTAIN OF THE ROYAL GUARD AND ONE OF THE TOUGHEST MONSTERS IN THE UNDERGROUND, BUT SHE AND I ARE GOOD FRIENDS.”

Diamond Tiara let out a tense breath and smiled. “I was going to ask one of you two, or both, to go with me the rest of the way,” she said, “but if you’re sure this Undyne will agree to escort me, I won’t impose on you.”

“great,” Sans said. “that’s less work for me then.” He walked over to the stairs, but stopped at the bottom and looked back at the Filly. “i’ll meet up with at the capital anyway, d.t. i want to see what’s beyond the barrier for myself.” He walked up a couple steps and then stopped again. “oh, and did toriel give you a piece of butterscotch-cinnamon pie?” he asked. The Filly nodded. “i’ll give you a piece of advice then,” Sans said, “toriel’s pies have the most potent healing powers of any food in the underground. one piece can take you from the very brink of death to full health. don’t squander it.” He disappeared up the stairs.

Diamond Tiara hopped off the couch and checked through her bag. After confirming that she still had the pie, and discovering that the Nice Cream she’d bought was still frozen, she looked to Papyrus and asked, “So, should I wait here for Undyne, or…?”

“UH,” Papyrus glanced to the side, “IF I WERE YOU, I’D MEET HER HALFWAY IN WATERFALL. UNDYNE ISN’T FOND OF THE COLD AROUND HERE, FOR SOME REASON. HERE,” he guided the Filly outside and pointed down the road leading out of Snowdin Town, “JUST HEAD DOWN THE ROAD FOR A BIT, AND SHE’LL FIND YOU. AS SOON AS I LET HER KNOW YOU’RE COMING.”

Sans walked into his brother’s room, stuck his hands in his pockets, and said, “if you're still here, just a fair warning: whatever you’re playing at, i’m on to it.”

There was a rustling as Flowey emerged from behind Papyrus’s bed. “Oh, you think so?” he asked with a smug expression.

“yep,” Sans said, “and you’ve made some mistakes, flower.” He closed his right eye and stared the flower down. “for one, i know what you’re capable of, and i will get in your way if you try to torture that little pony. second, nobody’s got a reason to give that pony a bad time, so-”

“Kehaha…”

“what’s so funny?”

Flowey gave Sans his most twisted, sharp-toothed grin. “It’s just so amusing how you all think you know what’s going to happen!”