Romp

“No… no no no no!” I ramble on like an idiot as Gilda climbs off the bed.

She groans before her hind paws even make it to the floor. “Seriously Dash, don’t make this anymore awkward than it is.”

“B-but… wait, hang on!” I’m already starting to feel nauseous, but I sit up anyway, tossing the covers further away. “Are you just not feeling up to it right now? ‘Cause I can totally understand if you want to—”

“No, Dash,” she barks back, walking toward the light switch.

I flinch. “Please. Don’t. Not… n-not yet.”

She turns her head. Even in the darkness, I can see her glaring back at me.

In the little bit of time she’s not moving, I manage to crawl over to the end of the bed closer to her. “Gilda, what is it? Did I do something wrong?” I ask as if I’m clueless. Still, I have to hear her say it to know for sure.

She stares at me for a sec. Her eyes are angry – the bad kind of angry. Her beak trembles like she’s about to shout at me. But instead, she sighs, and all her anger seems to melt into… something worse.

“Dash…” She leans against the wall between the switch and door, her gaze now avoiding mine. “I’m sorry. Really, I am. I’m just not interested in this anymore.”

I gulp down the lunch that seems to be crawling back up my throat. “Wh-why? I mean, if it’s something I did, I can just—”

“It’s what you haven’t done,” she interrupts loudly, turning her full attention back to me. “You know damn well what I wanted from this all along.”

I knew it. I knew it was because of that…

With shaky legs, I prop myself upright on the edge of the bed. I struggle to figure out something to say – anything to say.

But she beats me to it. “It’s not like I can get off on this, let alone with someone who won’t even put up a fight anymore! The last few times, you’ve been giving in way too quickly. Hell, I don’t even know why you like doing this!” She frowns. “Like, who the buck plays a sub and won’t even have sex? Or fool around? Or… anything for that matter! All you want is the power play shit, and I can’t…” She groans, rubbing her eyes with the back of a talon. “I just don’t get you, Dash. I’ve played along for months now, hoping you’d change your mind.”

I wince, leaning back from her words. With a really weak whisper, I manage to say, “I’m sorry,” which just seems to make her angrier.

“Don’t,” she grunts back, lifting her talons to the door handle.

Before she can say or do anything else, I climb off the bed, my wide eyes locked with hers. “Gilda… please.”

Her expression turns curious, even though I can tell all she wants to do is leave.

I’ll take it. Gulping once more, I put on what little bit of a smile I can manage. Very carefully, I step toward her, swishing my tail from side to side, fluttering my wings lightly. “I… I’m ready.” I bite my bottom lip for a second, trying my best to keep it from trembling. “We can go the whole way… if you really want.”

Gilda’s eyes widen in shock. For a second at least. She glances at a space between the bed and the wall, then turns her attention back to the door.

She scoffs. “Sorry. It wouldn’t feel right for me to be your first, ‘specially if it’s not what you want.”

She opens the door, letting in the bright light from the dorm’s hall. “I’m going for a flight,” she says without looking back. “I’ll be back later.” And with a flick of her slender tail, the door closes on its own.

I stand in the dark, staring at the door.

My body trembles. There’s nothing I can do to stop it at this point.

My knees grow weak. I feel like I’m going to collapse.

And I hate it. I hate the sensation. I hate this feeling.

I hate being scared.

Without even thinking, I slam my hoof hard into the floor and scream. Just… scream.

And, heh… funny enough, I do the one thing I hate more than all of that.

I start to cry.