Entry #1
Hi there. Mom gave me you a couple minutes ago, but I am not sure what I should do with you. She said that you were a ‘journal’ and that I should write all about my life. She said that you would keep my memories safe. I don’t know how paper is supposed to protect something. I told Mom this and she said, “You’d be surprised what weak things can protect.”
I don’t know what she meant by that. Berry told Mom that was a load of horseapples and that you need to be strong in order to protect something. She then said that is why Dad left because Mom could not protect their marriage and Mom began to cry. I got really mad and I wanted to hurt Berry but I knew that I could not since Mom told me I had to get along with her. I watched as Berry yelled at Mom more and then she yelled at me and ran out of the house.
She probably went to go hang out with her friends again and get into more trouble and make Mom even more sad. She should stop doing that. Last week her and her friends got in huge trouble at school. I don’t know what they did exactly but I did hear what Mr. Slate (that’s Berry’s teacher) told Mom.
He said something about Berry and secks behind the school. I do not know what secks is but I think it is a game because the teacher said that she was doing it with one of her friends. She couldn’t go to school for a few days. Tomorrow she can go back.
She also had to go see a doctor. I don’t know why she had to go see a doctor though. Maybe the reason that she got in trouble for playing secks is that ponies could get sick from it! That must be it. I’m glad she did not, Mom would not be happy and I would not be happy. I will tell her this when I see her again. I think she will feel better knowing that I care about her. Mom says that she is a good pony but she does bad things because she is really sad inside.
Mom was crying for a long time after Berry left. She was lying on the floor and had her hooves in front of her face. I felt bad for her so I sat down next to her and gave her a hug. She wrapped her hooves around me and hugged me back. She said something but I couldn’t hear it. I think she said “choo two are chappy white” but that doesn’t make any sense.
She wanted to be alone and sent me up here (I’m in my room). And here I am. Writing in you about what happened my life. But Mom did say I should write all about my life. I’ll write about myself and my family then.
My name is Cross Punch and I am 6 years old. When I was born my eyes were crossed and Mom told me that I was frowning. She said that Dad named me Cross as a joke. I’m glad he did. Mom told me that she wanted to name me Ti (that means ‘small’ in Prench). I don’t need everypony reminding me about my size when they say my name.
My favorite food is ice cream and my favorite flavor is strawberry. Mom takes me to get some every week. Her favorite flavor is strawberry too.
I am in 1st grade even though I am only 6. I skipped kindergarten because they said that my reading and writing skills were very good. I love reading books. Ms. Shine my 1st grade teacher told me that I’m one of the most literet (she said that means ‘well-read’) students she has ever seen. She gives me a gold star each time I finish a book. I have 38 stars so far. Ms. Shine also said that once I have 50 I get a big sticker! I’m going to put the sticker up on my wall when I get it.
I live with my mom and my big sister Berry. I don’t know where or who my dad is. He used to live with us but he left when I was 1 and Berry was 7. I remember one thing about him. He would pick up me and Berry and give us rides. Mom is still really sad about Dad leaving us and I’m mad at him for making Mom sad. He should come back! Mom would be happy if he did. I told Mom this but she said that’s not going to happen. She wasn’t happy when she said this. I told her that I’d find Dad someday and make him come back. She gave me a hug and said thanks but she didn’t smile.
We live in the Punch Bowl. It is the store that my family owns. We sell drinks for parties to adults. My mom handles money and customers and takes orders and I help out a little. I only help after school and sometimes on weekends though, so Mom is busy most of the time running the store by herself. Berry doesn’t help out at all. She says that she does not like the smell of the ethanol and that she wants to be with her friends and not stuck in the store. Mom said that was fine as long as she is happy. Mom says that she is going to get somepony else to help soon. I hope the pony she gets is nice.
My sister is 6 years older than me and she is in 6th grade. She spends all her time with her friends. I can’t remember all of her friends names but I do know a few. There’s somepony named Cheerilee. I have not met her but she is my sister’s best friend. Another one is a colt named Hay Bale who Berry talks about all the time. I have only seen him once and he’s huge! I think he’s older than 12 but he’s still in 6th grade with my sister. He must be stupid not smart. Oops Mom told me to never say that word. She said it was mean.
My sister is mean all the time. She always yells at Mom and says bad things to her. I do not like it when she does that. I sometimes feel like I want to hit her a lot and make her say she is sorry. I know this is bad but I can’t help it. Mom never gets mad at her though. She has never yelled at either of us. Mom says that she knows why Berry is acting like she is and says that she is fine with it.
Mom says that Berry is a nice filly in her heart and I think so too. She is nice sometimes. Last year she stood up to some bullies at school for me! The bullies were these ponies named Thunder and Lightning and they are pegasi. They took a book I was reading out of my hooves and ran away with it. I remember that I ran after them but I can’t run that far so I did not catch them. I began to cry and went home. Berry had the day off because she got in trouble at school again. I told Berry what happened and she said for me to wait in the house. She must have known where they were because she came back with the book really fast! She told me that they would not bother me anymore.
She told me “You owe me.” I still have not done anything for her. I’ll save her when she is in trouble then!
Mom’s name is Barba Punch. I think it is a strange name but Mom likes it. She has a white coat and yellow hair. I think she is very pretty. She is my favorite pony in the whole world. She is always nice to me and everypony that she meets. She is almost always smiling. She smiles when Berry is around but Berry makes her stop smiling a lot by saying those bad things to her.
Mom works very hard all the time. Our store is always busy and she is busy making the drinks and making the customers (the ponies who buy our drinks) happy. She talks with the customers and laughs with them too. Everypony loves my mom. I know that for sure.
I don’t hear Mom crying anymore. I think she is okay now. I am going to see how she is doing so I am done writing for now. Thank you for protecting what I have told you. I’ll write more later.
Berry came home right before I went to bed. That doesn’t happen often so I went to tell her that I’m glad she didn’t get sick from the secks. She had just walked into the back of the building and was wearing a weird looking smile. It didn’t look right but I didn’t tell her that because she might think I was calling her ugly. She REALLY doesn’t like to be called that by anypony. I think she once had a friend named Colgate who called her that and now they’re not friends anymore. I remember watching Colgate say that she was sorry but Berry was so mad that she said she just told her to buck off. I asked Mom what that meant and she told me to never say that again.
She was whistling too. I don’t think it was a song. Just a lot of random whistles. It sounded happy though. She must have had a good time tonight. At least she didn’t get into trouble.
I told Berry that I was glad she didn’t get sick from the secks. She tilted her head and stared at me for some time and then she said, “No horseapples Sherclops.” I told her that I love her. She didn’t respond. I said good night. She said good night to me. Then she went up to her room.
After that I went into the store to say good night to Mom. Our house has our bedrooms in the back, behind the store which is in front. There are 2 floors. Downstairs is Mom’s room and the living room. Upstairs there is my room and Berry’s room which are right next to each other. There are some other empty rooms down the hall but we don’t really use them. When relahtivs visit though they stay in those rooms. Downstairs there is also a fireplace that we use to get warm during the winter. Mom says that she doesn’t like the cold and she sleeps out in front of the fireplace when it is cold out.
Anyways I went into the store to say good night to Mom. She watches over the store until 3 in the morning. I guess some adults get thirsty late at night. When I went into the store I saw Mom resting her head against the counter and her eyes were closed.
I think I’m going to stop writing for tonight. I’m too tired. And I don’t feel good. I’ll finish tomorrow.
Berry Punch’s hooves shake as she closes the journal. Still holding onto the book she feels her body go numb and she gazes across the room at the unlit fireplace. Her eyes are laden with remorse. ‘I shouldn’t have done that,’ she thought. ‘I should’ve just left it alone.’ She looks down at the cover of the journal and reads some barely legible words that her brother had scribbled there: SECRET! NOPONY ALLOWED TO READ! THAT MEANS YOU BERRY!
Berry begins to breathe heavily and her mouth curls into a snarl. She rears the hoof that is holding the journal back. Using as much strength as she can muster, she throws the journal onto the ground. Her eyes moist and her entire face is contorted by rage. She yells, “YOU’RE JOKING! YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE AND YOU WON’T EVEN LET ME KNOW WHY?! DAMMIT CROSS! DAMMIT! DAMMIT! Dammit! Dammit! Dammit...” She collapses to the floor as her outburst peters out into a quiet whimper.
Berry picks the book up and brings it to her chest. She envelops it in an embrace and sits on the floor for a while, caressing her brother’s life in her hooves and his memories in her mind. “Cross please? I need to know,” she whispers into the baby blue binding. And she cries silently. She cries tears of remembrance. She cries tears of frustration. Most of all, she cries tears of regret.
She cries for nearly thirty minutes before the small clock on the mantle chimes 10 times. Startled by the sudden noise Berry lifts her head up. She turns to the timepiece and stares in disbelief, wiping her eyes with her empty hoof. “Only 5 more hours until the ceremony,” she says dully.
After glancing down at Cross’ journal she thinks ‘I’d better put this back.’ She carefully puts the journal into her mouth so that her teeth are latched onto the book’s spine. She trots out of the family room and to the staircase that leads to the second floor. As she lifts her hoof to get onto the first step, however, she notices something written in large letters on the back cover. Curious she lays the book onto another step so she can read what it says:
DON’T FORGET HER LAST WORDS: “MAKE SURE BERRY IS HAPPY AND SAFE.”
Berry’s eyes grow to the size of saucers. She lets out a small gasp, dropping the book in the process. Her mind races as she tries to figure out what this new discovery could mean. ‘Who does he mean by ‘her’? Make sure I’m happy and safe? Was I ever in danger? Does this have anything to do with...’
Terrified by a sudden thought she lets out another gasp, much louder than the first. She hurriedly picks up the journal again and rushes over to the couch. ‘I’m sorry Cross, but you made it my business.’ Her heartbeat fills the once silent room as she opens the book to begin where she left off...
Entry #2
Hi again. Sorry about last night. My stomach started hurting. I didn’t eat anything other than some wheatza. Oh well it’s not really important. Anyways I’m going to finish what I was writing about. I don’t have that much time since I need to get ready for school.
Last night when I went into the store I saw Mom sleeping behind the counter. She was snoring very loudly and her tongue was sticking out of her mouth. On the counter there was a bottle of some drink. Next to Mom’s hoof was a very small glass that had the same drink in it. It looked like apple juice but it didn’t smell like it at all. It’s smell was very very strong.
I looked at the side of the bottle and read the words that were there. It said “Buck Daniel’s”. I wonder who this “Buck Daniel” is and why did my Mom have his bottle? He might be a customer. Now that I think about it, he is. I hear a lot of the customers asking if there are any Buck Daniels around.
Mom’s cheeks were red. She looked like she was hot, as if she were on fire! I checked her head and it wasn’t hot. She wasn’t sick, but she wasn’t ok. I think she was asleep but I’m not sure. She was making weird noises. They weren’t snores. Just noises.
When I walked over to her I poked her side with a hoof. I wanted to wake her up because she had to go to sleep and not be tired for work tomorrow. She opened her eyes and saw me. I think she saw me but she didn’t know it was me.
And she said something. She said “Bourbon? What are you doing here?” I thought she was talking to somepony else because I don’t know any Bourbons. He might be a friend of that Buck Daniel. Well he made my Mom cry! After she said that she began to cry really hard! I was scared because she was hurt. I didn’t know what to do. I tried to give her a hug, since that works most of the time, but it didn’t this time. She didn’t let me hug her and kept pushing me off. She kept yelling something, but I didn’t know what she was saying.
And then she hit me. But I’m not mad at her or hate her. She wasn’t feeling well so I’m not mad. I was scared but not mad. I love her no matter what. That bottle hurt though. And there was a mess everywhere. But I’m fine. And Mom’s fine too. She stopped crying after that and went to sleep again. I did too.
I went to see if she was still on the counter when I woke up. She wasn’t but the bottle was still there. I hope Mr. Daniel won’t be mad that it’s broken.
I’ve got to go to school now. I’ll write more later.
Entry #3
I’m back from school. It was a long day and we learned about multiplication. I don’t like math that much and I didn’t know how to do the pracktise problems that Ms. Shine made us do. They were pretty hard. She gave me some more to do tonight. I don’t want to do them but she might not give me the sticker if I don’t. Maybe I can ask Berry for help if she’s around.
I did get another gold star though! I finished StellaLuna during lunch break and told Ms. Shine and she was very proud of me!
Mom’s happy today. She must have forgot about last night. I’m worried that it might happen again.
Other than that I don’t have anything to write. I’ll write when something happens.
Entry #11
Hi again! I’ve been really happy for the last week. You wanna know why? It’s almost my birthday! I’ll be 7 in two days! I can’t believe it! Mom said that 7 is a very lucky number, so when I become 7 I’ll be very lucky too! Maybe Dad will come back to celebrate with us! That would be great!
Entry #165
Been awhile hasn’t it? Last entry was... two years ago? Yeah, I just checked. Back when I was only a little 7th grader. I don’t even know why I pulled you out. Oh wait yes I do...I FINALLY GOT IT! After 14 loooong years I finally earned my cutie mark!
And it’s about bucking (oops, sorry. Don’t tell...nevermind. I’m an idiot.) time. I’m the last one in my class to get it. Can you believe it? Everypony else obtained theirs years ago. I mean, I know I’m the scrawniest (Mom never lets me forget my size these days) but I’m years above those guys in brain.
You might be wondering who ‘those guys’ are, O baby blue buddy of mine. Those guys would be my complete numbskull of classmates. Have I seemed happy in the few above paragraphs? Yes? Then I’ve done a good (albeit short-lived) job of concealing the...quite frankly... the rage that I have right now.
So what’s my cutie mark? How did I get it? The answers to these questions would be the source of my aforementioned rage. Well I’ll tell you.
It began at school, right before the final bell. I was waiting for Berry to come and get me, as she always does. It was a pretty nice day, but that doesn’t really matter does it? I was doing nothing but waiting patiently ok? All of a sudden those jerkwads Thunder and Lightning walk by me. And do you know what they began to do? They began to bad mouth Berry. They said she was a slut, loose, THEY SAID SHE WAS JUST LIKE MY MOTHER! MY SISTER AND MY MOTHER ARE NOT SLUTS!
And then...I don’t know what happened to me. I just became so mad...the next thing I knew was that they had a bruised eye each and I had a bloodied hoof and my cutie mark.
I’m scared. My cutie mark involves hurting ponies. At least that’s what I think it is. I mean nothing good can come out of fighting, right?
Maybe mom will be able to help me figure this out. I’ll ask her tomorrow. I’m really tired right now though. Good ni
---
The entry ends abruptly and Berry is whipped cruelly back into reality. She had settled onto a lumpy stained pillow that rests on the floor next to a couch. Her eyes burn after focusing only on the words before her for a few hours. She blinks a few times, trying to get her eyes to refocus on the dank environment that surrounds her in the room.
She has still seen no explanation for the bizarre message that adorns the book’s back cover.
She begins to get up, wincing when her legs buckle slightly from being laid upon for a few hours of reading. She slowly makes her way into the kitchen and to a pitcher of water. She grabs a small cup and pours a bit of the water into it. Not wasting any time she quickly drowns the glass and sets it back down. Her parched throat thanks her and the fires of pain are calmed.
As she ambles back to the pillow she steels herself for what she knows is coming in the next entry. “Oh please Cross don’t beat yourself up too bad for this.” She sits back down and exhales deeply, preparing herself to read the next entry. She opens the book and reads the first line.
In the kitchen the water turns to steam.
