Sleeping on the... Well, bar.
The human was just standing there, staring off into space like he had nothing to do. Azril was absolutely livid at this point. How could this pathetic, weak peon stand before him and simply stare above his head!? No, there must have been a strategy behind this. The human must simply be buying time, waiting for someone stronger to use the element of surprise. The self-proclaimed god chuckled. "No one's going to save you, ape."
"Oh, I know," the human said quietly, as if in thought.
Azril began to grind his teeth together. "Then. What. Are. You. Doing?" He seethed.
"I'm debating if I should take this elsewhere," he said, turning to the others in the room; The princesses and the elements of harmony were held against their will by magic shackles in the corner of the room. "I don't want to accidentally kill them in the middle in our fight. Although, that would be rather ironic..."
"Human," Azril warned, "stay and die, or leave and live another day. Choose. Now."
There was silence for a long time. The human kept his eyes on the corner of the room and sighed moments later. "I don't even want to be here right now, let alone fight you," he explained. "I could be taking a nap, or going to Macho's, or... I dunno..." The human began to stare into space again. "To be honest, I told a lie, and now that I'm here standing in front of you right now... well, as soon as you take one step forwards, that lie will be made very evident."
"Oh?" the god said with a smile of amusement crawling up his face. "That sounded like a threat to me."
"Nope. Just a guarantee."
"Of what? Let me guess; If I take a step forwards, you'll kill me?"
The human shook his head. "Again, no. I could die here, and you could live, so that's not much of a guarantee," he explained. "I was going to say that if you took another step forwards, you're gonna have a bad time, but I think that line is waaaaaay overused now anyway," the human said, shrugging and shaking his head.
"Instead, I'll say that 'bad' doesn't even begin to describe the time you'll have if you take a step forwards."
The face was cracked, yet melting at the same time. It's blood: black yet viscous, like tar. It's body fading into the void that surrounded the two who stood in the gap between everything. But, in the human's eyes... the worst thing about it...
...was it's empty smile.
A tendril reached out and slowly caressed the human's cheek. "Y O U W I L L B E P E R F E C T," it's deep, almost soothing voice echoed.
"F... for what?"
There was no response at first, but soon it bellowed again. "Y O U W A N T E D C H A N G E, D I D Y O U N O T ? N O W Y O U ' R E L I F E W I L L C A R R Y M Y B U R D E N ."
"Hey, Perry," called a voice as the human awoke from his slumber. "It's closing time, you gotta leave, pal." Perry, a comparatively short human with pale skin and short, brown, dirty hair, looked up from his face down sitting position up at the voice with his similarly brown eyes. He wore his favorite outfit: a blue hoodie and black jeans, with his brown loafers. He knew it was a hideous look, but there isn't really any problem with that since most of his current neighbors don't wear clothes in the first place.
"Whyyyyyyyy...?" Perry groaned, reuniting his face with it's lost lover: the bar. "I dun wanna go home..." he mumbled into the wooden slab.
The bartender; a Minotaur by the name of Macho, came from the back of the establishment to Perry's prone position. Macho was (of course) an absolute ball of muscle with a skeleton inside, as with all Minotaurs, but he at least had the decency to dress nicely. He bore his usual white dress shirt with a black vest and tie, as well as his hilariously small glasses perched upon his snout. As for his lower half... Well, if you wanna stare at a Minotaur's crotch, then be my guest. "Because it's eleven. Go home and go to sleep there, not here. Don't you think Fluttershy would be worried about you?"
"Fluttershy worries that ants will be hungry at night, so she puts out a slice of cake for them every single night," Perry countered. "She worries about everything: I'm the least of her worries. Besides, it's awkward as shit living there now."
That seemed to grab Macho's attention. "How come?"
Perry groaned, craning his head up from the bar. "Taxonomy." The Minotaur looked puzzled at that. "Look, she inherently interested in my physiology, but at the same time she's too shy to actually look!" Perry explained. "It's like she has some sort of schoolgirl crush on me, or something. A few days ago, she wanted to know if humans had the same amount of ribs as ponies, so I told her I didn't know. She asked me if she could check, and so I took off my shirt."
"This sound like a beginning to a bad erotic novel."
"Yea, except she fainted as soon as I did."
"Well," Macho sighed, "I'm sorry to hear that, kid, I really am. Have you ever thought about talking about it with her?"
"No, that's just make things more awkward..." It was Perry's turn to sigh. "I don't wanna move again..."
Macho raised an eyebrow in suspicion. "What about you?"
"What about me?" Perry groaned.
"Do you feel the same way about her?" Macho inquired. "To be perfectly honest, I know you've put up with more than the shenanigans of a love-struck pegasus. Need I remind you of Twilight?"
"No, no..." Perry waved off the offer. He rested his head on his hand and stared into space like he usually did. "I dunno, Macho," Perry sighed. "I mean, there are moments when I... you know, start to think about it honestly. Most of the time, it's when she has absolutely no regard for personal space, not that it's a bad thing. I think that she likes the physical contact because she's too afraid to ask anyone else. You know how she is around other ponies."
"So what you're saying is that she views you as part pony, part animal?" Macho asked. "That's quite a peculiar position you're in, my friend."
"Yea... can't really tell if I'm in the friend zone or not," the human admitted. "The worst part is that I'm too afraid to do anything about it because she's the only one so far that's let me just be me, you know? Not forcing me to do anything, yet she still trusts me to do the chores. She doesn't overwork me, she let me sleep in the middle of the day, she doesn't judge my physique or what I eat... To be honest, she's perfect."
There was silence for a bit before Perry dragged himself off of the bar and towards the door after placing a few bits down the counter. "Thanks, Macho," Parry said.
"No problem. You performing tomorrow?"
"If something doesn't come up, then hell yes. Someone's gotta keep this place afloat." With the bellowing laugh of his friend behind him, Perry left the bar.
Perry couldn't help but think as he walked home that his dreams were becoming more and more strange the more time he spent here in Equestria. He had absolutely no idea what that first part of the dream was, but he could have sworn he'd seen that monster in the second part before...
Author's Note
This story's probably going to be short, maybe 5-ish chapters. Unless this gets really popular, it's probably going to stay this way.
Anywho, just leave a comment if you're bored or if you spot anything wrong with the spelling or grammar.