Arkham Knight: Agent of Harmony

Justin Turner flopped onto his lumpy cot and let the sweat drip off of him from his third workout in six hours. He had a decent build, dirty blonde hair, emerald green eyes, and wore a filthy white t-shirt in addition to the camo pants and black combat boots from his Arkham Knight costume. If his wall mark counting was correct, then he’d been locked up for over seven months. And not once had he met with a lawyer, been interrogated, or had a trial. Hell, he hadn’t even been CHARGED with anything for all he knew.

And I thought the legal system in Gravity Falls was f***** up, thought Justin as he closed his eyes and took slow, deep breaths. He had an ever-increasing suspicion as to why he’d been in here for so long, yet not gone through the whole legal process: the Equestrian Government, the Royal Guard, or SOMEBODY high up wanted to keep him in here and out of the way while they experimented with and, quite possibly replicated, his new Batmobile, his armor, and his other bits and pieces of technology. Not that he blamed them or anything, though. From what he’d seen of this place so far, while it had some fairly advanced technology, there was nothing anywhere near what he had… all the same, Justin hoped that he’d get some money or something out of it.

Justin’s eyes flew open in an instant when he heard a key in the lock of his cell door. “Finally,” he said, his voice deep and smooth, “Somebody, please tell me why-”

Justin stopped short when he saw who was in the doorway: Captain Shining Armor. As he glared at him, Justin noticed there was something different about him.

“You’re needed in the interrogation room,” said the captain in a synthesized voice Justin FINALLY recognized as the Arkham Knight’s voice. That’s when it hit him. The captain almost bit for bit looked like a pony version of the character he was seven months ago. The only differences being the color scheme, which resembled his old armor and he hadn’t lowered his mask just yet.

“YOU SON OF A BITCH!” yelled the man as he charged the captain only for the pony to merely clothesline him.

“Now, now. We can’t have you getting all violent now. The Princesses need to have a word with you. Something about a deal they want to make with you,” Shining Armor said. “Also, there’s the matter of almost 50 billion bits that are waiting for you as the inventor of this amazing new weapons technology that White Cliff Labs has taken the liberty of improving upon.”

“Forgive me if I withhold my excitement at being rich. You still shouldn't have stolen my tech!” spat Justin.

“Granted. My baby sister felt the same way, truth be told. However, the benefits outweigh the concerns. Or, so I’m told anyways. Now, come on and get up.”

With that, Shining Armor grabbed Justin off of the floor and pulled him out of the cell, leading him down the hallways, which were crawling with discolored Arkham Knight lookalikes until they finally reached what appeared to be an ordinary room.

“Get in there,” said Shining Armor opening the door and pushing Justin into the room.

Justin blinked several times as his eyes grew accustomed to the light. Sitting in two chairs directly across from an empty one were Princesses Celestia and Luna. Celestia wore an elegant white dress with yellow sandals on her feet. Luna, whose face was partially obscured by shadow, on the other hand wore a royal blue military commander’s uniform with moonlight silver trimming and knee-length black heeled boots with a rapier in its scabbard on her waist.

“Sit down scoundrel,” said Luna who snarled at Justin. He did as he was told but then propped one leg over the other.

“Well? What do you want?” asked the prisoner who merely earned a glare from the princess of the night.

“Watch your tone. Do you not know who we are?”

“You’re a pony who has emo issues and an inferiority complex that you need a THERAPIST to get over and your sister over there is a cake eating do nothing ruler who lets six mares with no combat experience do all the work for her. Did I miss anything?”

“At least we don’t go driving around in military vehicles causing wanton property damage and endangering the lives of countless innocents while dressed up in ridiculous combat armor!” retorted Luna.

Justin was about to retort before Celestia intervened. “That’s enough, you two!” she said, her horn glowing with yellow magic that kept both her sister’s and the prisoner’s mouths from moving for a few moments. Once they could move again, Luna and Justin glared at each other before Celestia spoke up. “All right, now that that’s settled, let’s get down to business. I am Princess Celestia, ruler of Equestria. This is my sister Luna,” said Celestia, jerking her head towards her sister. “And you are the so-called ‘Arkham Knight,’ yes?”

“You can call me Arkham but yes that’s who I am,” replied Justin. While it wasn’t his real name he didn’t feel it prudent to reveal his real name to these two.

“Very well then, Arkham. You’re probably curious as to why we brought you here.”

“Honestly I really don’t give a crap, especially considering what you’ve done with my technology. Truth be told, I wouldn’t have minded so much, except I don’t remember anyone asking my permission to distribute it to the military, especially one as useless as yours,” said Justin.

“Ah! That’s the problem at hand, as well as the reason we’ve come to you,” said Celestia, her response causing Justin to do a double-take.

“Really, is that so? Well, now you’ve got my undivided attention,” said Justin, leaning forward a little, mildly interested.

“That’s good to know. Anyway, as I was saying, our military, despite the new technology that they’ve been given, still doesn’t have what it takes to defend our land from the bigger problems that plague it, along with some of the organized crime and the Nightmare Moon Cults. And I fear that with your presence in our land, there will be threats that not even the Elements of Harmony will be able to stop,” explained Celestia.

“And this has to do with me because…”

“Because I think that you are a Displaced. A being sent here as a result of making a purchase of some kind from a devious trickster more powerful than Discord known as the Merchant, forced to come here and adopt the identity of whatever costume you happened to be wearing at the time. As a result, my sister and I would like to make you a proposal, one that would mutually benefit everyone involved.”

Justin leaned closer, interest now evident on his face. “What kind of proposal did you have in mind?” he asked.

“Luna?” asked Celestia.

“Do I really have to?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“We flipped on it. I got heads.”

“You cheated.”

“Stop whining and explain.”

“Fine,” sighed Luna. “You see, the Merchant just might start sending some displaced here to try to fight and defeat you. He might actually get a bit worried as you were merely sent here to spread mayhem and mischief.”

Justin smirked. “Good thing I didn’t dress up as The Joker, then. Please, continue.”

“The Merchant's forces could possibly threaten the lives of many innocent ponies unfortunate enough to cross their path. What my sister and I would like is for you to become our agent. A super soldier dedicated to protecting this land and all who reside in it from anything that could harm it and can’t be stopped by the Royal Guard or the Elements of Harmony, be it organized crime, Cult of Nightmare Moon chapters, or the Merchant’s forces.” said Luna.

Justin’s smirk grew into a genuine smile. “So, you want me to be your secret weapon against the forces of evil too powerful for the six greatest treasures in the world to stop or can’t be touched by legal means,” he said.

“That would be accurate, yes.”

“Hmm… you know what? That actually sounds like fun. I’m in.”

Both Princesses did a double take. “R-really? I’d have thought you’d be far harder to convince than this,” said Celestia.

“Well, I’ll be honest with you. I’ve always wanted to be a secret agent or a superhero. So, why would I turn down an opportunity to be both? But, I seriously hope you don’t expect me to do much of anything looking like this,” said Justin.

“Of course not. And considering how you were easily beaten by Shining Armor, I’d say some combat training is in order,” said Celestia. “Luna, take Arkham to White Cliff. I’ll have his living arrangements organized.”

“Very well, then, sister,” said Luna, standing up with her sister. “Come with me Arkham. We have much to show you.”

“Yes you do,” said the new hero.

...

“WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY CAR?!” yelled Justin as he stared at what used to be his Batmobile, but now looked something closer to the child of it and the Tumbler from the Dark Knight movies. Roughly speaking, it still had the same shape, but was now much bigger and bulkier, as though someone had converted it into a troop transport vehicle.

“Well, the backseat was too small, so we made it a bit bigger,” explained a white pony with a bright blue mane and tail wearing a lab coat, a black shirt, a blue-and-black striped tie, khaki pants, glasses, and brown loafers. This was Wheat Lee, Head of Weapons Developement at White Cliff Labs. “Additionally, we’ve replaced your Riot Suppressor’s rubber bullets with live rounds. Personally, I don’t get why you use rubber bullets for your tank when you have not one, but TWO bloody pistols that fire live rounds. Seems a bit morally ambiguous if you ask me-”

“Lee, focus!” snapped Luna.

“Right, right. Anyways, while we’re on the topic, we’ve also gone ahead and made improvements to the weapon systems as a whole. Now when you fire your 50 mm cannon while in Battle Mode, the round will break apart into three separate rounds. Also, you can now discharge a powerful shockwave in addition to your EMP. Also, we’ve enhanced the armor on your tank to be a bit more durable, so that’s why there’s a bit more bulk to it,” explained Wheat Lee.

“MY GUNS HAD TRANQ ROUNDS IN THEM YOU MORON! THE RIOT SUPPRESSOR WAS FOR F***ING RIOTS!.... why did I just get bleeped out?”

“Hm?” Luna asked.

“I just got bleeped out for using f***. SEE?! THERE IT IS AGAIN! ANYWAYS THE POINT IS YOU MORONS RUINED MY BABY!” Justin said as he just rubbed it.

“Right, well… just… give it a try. You never know, it might grow on you. Anyways, moving on to the guns and armor,” said Wheat Lee as he led a fuming Justin and Luna down a hallway to what at first looked like a lab like any other.

The moment the door slid open, however, Justin’s jaw fell like a sack of potatoes. All over the walls were a variety of guns, knives, grenades, and other bits of weaponry. And standing right there in the middle of it all was what at first glance appeared to be his Arkham Knight suit completely intact but with a noticeable change…. under it’s arms were two black wings.

“You just made me… into a gun toting Batman Beyond knock off,” stated Justin as he just looked at his suit.

“What’s Batman Beyond?” asked Wheat Lee. Justin just looked at him with a look that stated that if he was from Earth? He’d be a smear on the ground right about now. “Anyways, I suppose I should walk you through it. The armor itself is made out of tri-weave titanium fibers, with flexible liquid armor and an experimental MR fluid that hardens on impact, and it should allow you to put more force into your attacks, while making you faster, lighter and more agile. Also, the wings on the back can fold away when you’re not using the flight function, and it can launch non-lethal shuriken from the gauntlets. Why don’t you try it on, get a feel for it?”

Justin groaned in frustration, but nonetheless complied. He pulled the suit on and was amazed at how well it fit him but it still didn’t feel entirely comfortable but then again comfort isn’t part of the job. He pulled the gauntlets on and got a good feel for them before putting on the boots. Here was his first problem… the boot felt heavy as all hell.

“Hm? Something wrong?”

“Yeah, the boots are too damn heavy! I can hardly lift my foot in them!” said Justin.

“Hmm… that was one of the concerns that came up during testing. Don’t worry, I’m sure with a little bit of a workout, you’ll get used to them,” said Wheat Lee as The Arkham Knight scowled at him before the mask slid over his face.

“Very well, then, now that you’re all suited up, let’s begin some combat-” started Wheat Lee, before Luna’s cell phone went off.

“Sorry about that,” said Luna, answering her phone. “Yes, what is it?” she said. “Uh-huh… uh-huh… okay. Bye, Celie,” said Luna before hanging up her phone. “Well, it seems your living arrangements have been made, and they’re on their way to the castle to pick you up.”

“Who’s ‘they?’” asked The Arkham Knight.

…

Six ponies, all mares, and a young purple and green dragon stood waiting on the castle front lawn. There was Rainbow Dash, a cyan blue pegasus wearing a white-t-shirt with the picture of a rainbow lightning bolt on the front, a dark blue hoodie, blue jeans, and knee-length boots. Applejack, a tan earth pony with a blonde mane and tail wearing a red and white pinstriped farmer’s outfit and her pants were dirtied from the day’s farm work. Pinkie Pie, a pink earth pony with a bushy pink mane and tail who wore a green t-shirt that was tied together showing off some cleavage and blue jeans that had cake batter splattered on them. Fluttershy, a butter-yellow pegasus with a soft pink mane and tail, who was wearing a white t-shirt with a green skirt and sandals. Rarity, a pale white unicorn with a purple mane and tail, wore a simple blue t-shirt and a purple skirt with black shoes.Twilight Sparkle, a lavender unicorn with a dark blue mane and tail, both of which had a magenta stripe, wore a purple t-shirt, blue jeans, and sneakers. Lastly, there was Spike the Dragon, who wore a purple hoodie, a green t-shirt, black jeans, and black-and-white sneakers.

“Well, girls, where do you think this ‘Arkham Knight’ guy is hidin’ out at?” asked Rainbow Dash looking around as if expecting to find him hiding somewhere.

“I don’t know, but I suggest we tread lightly around him. Princess Celestia said that he wasn’t too happy about the Royal Guard adopting his technology for their own use… and honestly, I’m not too fond of the idea either,” admitted Twilight.

“I agree with you there Twilight, If someone were to use a design I worked so hard to create against my wishes, then I think I’d be more than a little livid,” said Rarity.

“D-do you think this Arkham Knight being will try to eat us?” asked Fluttershy, her voice a mere squeak.

“Ah wouldn’t worry ‘bout it, sugarcube. This here Arkham Knight’s gonna be stayin’ with me an’ mah family on the farm. If’n he tries ta harm anypony, Ah reckon I can knock some sense inta him,” said Applejack.

“Hey, do you girls hear something, like a big, loud, monster of an engine inside a tank or something?” asked Pinkie Pie.

Spike and the other Elements of Harmony frowned. There was indeed a loud engine noise coming from somewhere. Before they knew it a gigantic tank flew up to them after it hit a ramp. It then rolled up to them with its tire an inch away from Rainbow’s face who promptly fell backwards just as the Arkham Knight opened his cock pit.

“Alright. Where’s the escort?”